WEBVTT - Self-Sabotage

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, fine podcast.

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<v Speaker 2>Would you stop talking over our intro?

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<v Speaker 1>It's half the fun guys.

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<v Speaker 2>The gang's all here.

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<v Speaker 1>The gang's all here, We're all back.

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<v Speaker 2>Yay, Mark Easton, Mike and Janna, just the whole crew.

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<v Speaker 3>That's the wrong order, I think, is it?

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<v Speaker 2>No? I mean, it's okay, it's fine. We're back in Nashville,

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<v Speaker 2>we're back from New Iberia, Louisiana.

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<v Speaker 1>We are two episodes there. Yeah, yeah, wow.

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<v Speaker 2>Last one was just basically you in Easton holding it down,

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<v Speaker 2>which I started to listen to it, and then you

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<v Speaker 2>were kind of talking bad about me. So I was

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<v Speaker 2>just like, I'm not gonna talk. I'm not gonna listen

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<v Speaker 2>to this.

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<v Speaker 1>I didn't talk anything bad about you. You gotta listen

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<v Speaker 1>to it in its entirety, Okay, right, Easton?

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah, you're very complimentary and and i'd like to say

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<v Speaker 4>we got some rave reviews from that episode.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh by the way, I was sitting in bed last

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<v Speaker 2>night and Mike starts laughing and I said, what's so funny?

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<v Speaker 2>And he goes. Easton just texted me saying that someone

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<v Speaker 2>appreciated our nerd talk.

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<v Speaker 1>The email was so good.

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<v Speaker 4>They wanted us to break down the Spider man, stuff

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<v Speaker 4>going on, that's not did.

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<v Speaker 1>You, Jana, did you get any feedback from any of

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<v Speaker 1>the episodes?

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah? They really liked y'all's perspective on things. Really yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>which is I do want to listen. It's just so

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<v Speaker 2>funny the timing in which I listened to it, because

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<v Speaker 2>I fast forwarded some of the stuff to get to

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<v Speaker 2>where you were at right, and then it was just like,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, Jane and I have been and she's been.

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<v Speaker 2>I was like, man, just right to just like.

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<v Speaker 1>It because it had none of it was about what's

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<v Speaker 1>Jana doing wrong? M there's more about what I'm doing wrong. Actually,

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<v Speaker 1>that's true. I want to be honest here.

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<v Speaker 2>It was just funny though, But I really truly wanted

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<v Speaker 2>to listen. But it's been a little busy, but I'm

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<v Speaker 2>excited to get in the car. I should have listened

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<v Speaker 2>to it today, but I was listening to the new

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<v Speaker 2>Taylor Swift CD album so really good. You know what

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<v Speaker 2>I've never been? How do I say this?

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<v Speaker 1>I I'll say it for us. Okay, Usually from a

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<v Speaker 1>first listen within like a new t O Swift song,

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<v Speaker 1>Jane and I are in the same boat where usually

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<v Speaker 1>it's like I'm not a big fan of it, but

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<v Speaker 1>then after we listen to it several times, we're like, actually,

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<v Speaker 1>this is a really good song. So usually we don't

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<v Speaker 1>like a T Swift song from the initial listen, but

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<v Speaker 1>with everything she's had recently.

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<v Speaker 2>We're jamming, jamming, Like today, Jolie was being a monrat

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<v Speaker 2>in the car and I was like, you need to

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<v Speaker 2>calm down, you're being too loud. I'm just like, uh oh,

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<v Speaker 2>and then I started putting it out and she starts

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<v Speaker 2>screaming at me. But I just am like jamming to

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<v Speaker 2>Tea Swift right now. All of a sudden. It's just

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<v Speaker 2>I don't think I could ever be in her squad

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<v Speaker 2>per se because I think we're not. I don't think

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<v Speaker 2>we have a lot in common, but I do think.

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<v Speaker 2>But I am like, I love her music. And it

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<v Speaker 2>was so cool because I saw Demi Levado tweet out

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<v Speaker 2>to her Instagram's story like, hey, no matter what, girls

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<v Speaker 2>got to support girls and this music. This girl's putting

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<v Speaker 2>out amazing music. And it's true. I'm like, yeah, I don't.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't think I could ever be friends with her,

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<v Speaker 2>but damn, she's got a really good album right now.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, what are you any tracks standing out to you

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<v Speaker 3>that you love, Like, I have a.

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<v Speaker 2>Couple that I love, The Dixie Chicks one.

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<v Speaker 3>That I cannot. I have a hard time with that one. Really,

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<v Speaker 3>it makes me cry.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh, I haven't listened to It's intense. I mean it

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<v Speaker 2>was the first time. I mean I was, let me

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<v Speaker 2>pull up the album right now, but it was the

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<v Speaker 2>first listen because I was stuck in the car for

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<v Speaker 2>a long time. So I really liked that one.

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<v Speaker 3>Soon You'll get better.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh my god, that one just like slayed me. I

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<v Speaker 2>really liked Cruel Summer.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, that's that.

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<v Speaker 3>There's rumors that's the next single that the tailor says.

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<v Speaker 2>That I could hear that. So I was thinking either

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<v Speaker 2>Cruel Summer was going to be in the next one

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<v Speaker 2>or there was another one that I was listening to

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<v Speaker 2>that was I was like, Okay, this could be another

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<v Speaker 2>single too.

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<v Speaker 3>It seemed like a single.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, that one does too. I I was, and I

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<v Speaker 2>liked it. Was weird because I didn't think I would

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<v Speaker 2>like the Miss Americana and the Heartbreak prints. Loved that.

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<v Speaker 3>That's growing on me big time.

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<v Speaker 2>The man obsessed with.

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<v Speaker 3>Yes that's a big one.

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<v Speaker 1>Did when the album come out, like a couple weeks ago.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, the man, I'm like loving The Archer. You know,

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<v Speaker 2>first listen, I was like, okay, spoppin' I'm not like

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<v Speaker 2>obsessed with London boy.

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<v Speaker 3>No, that was a little weird, you know what I

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<v Speaker 3>love And The Archer is a good example of this.

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<v Speaker 3>And as a songwriter, maybe you can help me, because

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<v Speaker 3>I'm not a songwriter. I feel like her bridges are

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<v Speaker 3>so much better than anybody else's bridges. Like most people,

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<v Speaker 3>bridges seem like an afterthought, but for her, she sees

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<v Speaker 3>it as the absolute build up to the final chorus.

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<v Speaker 3>Like so it just peaks to this pinnacle and she's

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<v Speaker 3>so good at that, and.

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<v Speaker 2>That's what I think makes her a really good songwriter.

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<v Speaker 2>Not to like go on this like Tee Swift run

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<v Speaker 2>right now, but like usually whenever I'm writing, writers hate bridges.

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<v Speaker 2>They just hate it. They're like they don't think it's necessary.

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<v Speaker 2>A lot of them don't write bridges, And most of

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<v Speaker 2>times I'm like, well, let's just repeat the chorus, do

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<v Speaker 2>a breakdown course, and that's usually what ends up being

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<v Speaker 2>the bridge. And just to your point, she takes advantage

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<v Speaker 2>of the bridge and like knocks it out of the Park.

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<v Speaker 1>So for those of us who have no idea what

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<v Speaker 1>you're talking.

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<v Speaker 2>About, after the second chorus is the bridge. So like

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<v Speaker 2>after the first verse, second verse, you know, first first verse,

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<v Speaker 2>then it comes the first chorus, then the second verse,

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<v Speaker 2>second chorus, and then there's the bridge.

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<v Speaker 1>But after the second carrier the chorus, is there another

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<v Speaker 1>version then the bridge.

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<v Speaker 2>No, it would go go verse chorus and then end.

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<v Speaker 2>That's born So but most people just but then most

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<v Speaker 2>people just will do like like if you listen to

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<v Speaker 2>any of my songs that I write, I'm like, just

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<v Speaker 2>do a breakdown chorus and then go into the chorus

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<v Speaker 2>and then.

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<v Speaker 3>The hard parts the chorus. Right, that's the really, that's

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<v Speaker 3>what you put the most effort into.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, because you wanted to be super hit, like super cooky,

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<v Speaker 2>catchy sing along. But man, I mean, she just she

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<v Speaker 2>she freaking slayed that album. And again, first listen there

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<v Speaker 2>was I haven't listened. I didn't. I wasn't able to

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<v Speaker 2>listen to two of the songs, like I didn't hear

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<v Speaker 2>False God or Daylight. But yeah, it was just it

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<v Speaker 2>was good. And it's funny because we haven't genuinely loved

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<v Speaker 2>everything she's put out. I mean I loved her back

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<v Speaker 2>in the country days for sure, but even Michael and

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<v Speaker 2>I both were like, hey, babe, I like me.

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<v Speaker 1>I was like I do do or even we were

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<v Speaker 1>listening to Alexa the other night with Jolie dancing around

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<v Speaker 1>making dinner and mean came on. Yeah, I forgot how

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<v Speaker 1>that that song's so old, but it's so good.

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<v Speaker 2>I love all of our country stuff. A lot of

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<v Speaker 2>people my friend, well, my friend, our friend Sarah thought

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<v Speaker 2>she was making a country album.

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<v Speaker 1>Sir he Gretzky. She thought that this recent album was

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<v Speaker 1>going to be a country I.

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<v Speaker 2>Just kept thinking it was gonna be a counry album,

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<v Speaker 2>which would be an interesting But I like the fact

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<v Speaker 2>that she kind of got the Dixie Chicks on there. Anyways,

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<v Speaker 2>I know we just like went off on a major

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<v Speaker 2>tea swifferent but so yeah, now you got to listen

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<v Speaker 2>to it. I will mark what's been up with you?

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<v Speaker 2>Because I feel like we haven't wind down with you lately.

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<v Speaker 3>Everything's fine. We spend Labor Day up in Ohi at

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<v Speaker 3>this resort up there that every year Ryan Seacrest, that's

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<v Speaker 3>the one gets me a weekend there with my family.

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<v Speaker 3>That's the greatest gift anyone's gotten me, and but now

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<v Speaker 3>there is competition as of this year, until this year,

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<v Speaker 3>it's the greatest year.

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<v Speaker 2>He's like, it's the greatest gift ever. I mean, I'm sorry, Mike,

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<v Speaker 2>thank you for your present.

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<v Speaker 1>I see Ryan Seacrest's game arm right.

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<v Speaker 2>Next month.

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<v Speaker 3>I have all these bruises on my upper arm. Here

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<v Speaker 3>you can't see them, but Easton can see those bruises. Easton,

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<v Speaker 3>Oh god, what happened? It because we were playing in

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<v Speaker 3>the pool and this nine year old girl made friends

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<v Speaker 3>with my kids, and then I kind of joined them.

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<v Speaker 3>We were playing. I had this ball and that their

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<v Speaker 3>job was to get the ball away from me, and

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<v Speaker 3>this girl thought it'd be good to slow me down

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<v Speaker 3>by pinching my inner arm. And this was like the

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<v Speaker 3>random girl, This random girl just to just crawl all

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<v Speaker 3>over me and my arm. And so now I got

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<v Speaker 3>bruises all over my arm. But her to stop, I

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<v Speaker 3>mean a little bit, but.

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<v Speaker 2>That she needs to calm down.

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<v Speaker 1>She does, she.

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<v Speaker 3>Did, but it's fine, But everything's good.

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<v Speaker 1>Thank you for asking good?

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<v Speaker 2>Are you okay?

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<v Speaker 3>But I should say the gift joking that we were

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<v Speaker 3>doing that jan and Might got me a pretty fantastic

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<v Speaker 3>gift for my birthday.

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<v Speaker 2>It was all Mike, I'm really bad with birthdays.

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<v Speaker 3>That's honestly, it's from the two of you.

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<v Speaker 1>It's from us, it is, it's from you, it's from us.

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<v Speaker 1>If it's from you, it's from us.

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<v Speaker 3>They know that I'm a big Milwaukee Brewers fan. They

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<v Speaker 3>got me a baseball bat autograph, no idea robbing you

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<v Speaker 3>out the greatest brewer of all time. That was pretty cool,

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<v Speaker 3>really above and beyond, because I expected nothing. I mean,

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<v Speaker 3>why would you get me anything?

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<v Speaker 2>Because Here's where I'm stressing though, is now Easton's birthday

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<v Speaker 2>is coming up. But now I feel like it's like,

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<v Speaker 2>that's the thing with gifts, you.

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<v Speaker 1>Know, I love I love it though.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh I love giving gifts, you know me, I'd rather

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<v Speaker 2>give gifts to everybody. But my thing is is like

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<v Speaker 2>it's just you know, it's a lot.

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<v Speaker 1>Not It's not about the amount. It's about knowing what

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<v Speaker 1>that person appreciates and loves more. I feel like the

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<v Speaker 1>most is easy.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, you just buy him like an Avengers T shirt.

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<v Speaker 3>He's so passionate about a number of things.

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<v Speaker 1>You know.

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<v Speaker 4>The greatest gift is just being a part of this podcast.

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<v Speaker 2>That's really it Easton. By the way, I loved seeing

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<v Speaker 2>you on set the other day. Oh, you just were

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<v Speaker 2>like chumming it up. Although I was very upset you

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<v Speaker 2>didn't say bye.

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<v Speaker 4>Well, you were in the middle of you were making

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<v Speaker 4>a major motion picture. I didn't want to interrupt there

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<v Speaker 4>for a lifetime.

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<v Speaker 2>Guys, let's calm down with the major motion thing.

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<v Speaker 1>It's gonna be fantastic.

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<v Speaker 4>And November sixteenth, Oh wow, oh yeah it is.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, November sixteenth.

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<v Speaker 2>Christmas and Louisiana.

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<v Speaker 1>I can't wait to watch.

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<v Speaker 2>It's funny tho because if you go on my IMDb,

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<v Speaker 2>it's like Christmas in Mississippi, Christmas and Louisiana. We said,

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<v Speaker 2>let's do it. I'm really excited about the guests we

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<v Speaker 2>have on today.

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<v Speaker 1>It's gonna be awesome.

0:09:47.360 --> 0:09:48.000
<v Speaker 2>She's a doctor.

0:09:48.880 --> 0:09:49.480
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, that's it.

0:09:50.080 --> 0:09:52.440
<v Speaker 2>Well, no, she's I just like with this up that

0:09:52.480 --> 0:09:53.080
<v Speaker 2>she talks about.

0:09:53.240 --> 0:09:55.360
<v Speaker 1>No, it's gonna be awesome. We're gonna have doctor Judy

0:09:55.440 --> 0:09:58.440
<v Speaker 1>Hoe on the podcast later today. She has a new

0:09:58.480 --> 0:10:01.520
<v Speaker 1>book out called Stop Self Sound Abitage, Six Steps to

0:10:01.600 --> 0:10:04.559
<v Speaker 1>Unlock Your True Motivation. I have a lot of questions

0:10:04.600 --> 0:10:04.920
<v Speaker 1>about that.

0:10:04.960 --> 0:10:06.400
<v Speaker 2>I have a lot of questions about the last name

0:10:06.480 --> 0:10:08.079
<v Speaker 2>like would you change your last name? Like would you

0:10:08.440 --> 0:10:12.400
<v Speaker 2>not get married to someone because their last name was Hell?

0:10:12.720 --> 0:10:13.679
<v Speaker 2>Just a valid question.

0:10:13.880 --> 0:10:17.959
<v Speaker 1>That's like al blessings, but that.

0:10:18.040 --> 0:10:21.360
<v Speaker 2>Is true Michael's best friend al Butt because that sounds.

0:10:21.440 --> 0:10:23.480
<v Speaker 2>But so I'm like, when you meet a guy, I mean,

0:10:23.640 --> 0:10:26.040
<v Speaker 2>I know I do. Like when I'm in middle school

0:10:26.080 --> 0:10:29.760
<v Speaker 2>high school and you're doing the hearts like Janna, you

0:10:29.760 --> 0:10:37.320
<v Speaker 2>know Thomas or whatever, It's like Janna, but Janna hoe

0:10:38.559 --> 0:10:39.079
<v Speaker 2>be interesting.

0:10:39.120 --> 0:10:41.119
<v Speaker 3>You got to factor that in when you meet someone.

0:10:41.360 --> 0:10:43.640
<v Speaker 2>What I'm saying I think you do is that rude

0:10:43.679 --> 0:10:45.840
<v Speaker 2>to factor in? And okay, here I come the emails.

0:10:46.040 --> 0:10:49.079
<v Speaker 2>I'm not being you know, I'm not being mean. I'm

0:10:49.120 --> 0:10:50.920
<v Speaker 2>just saying, is it is it something where you're just like,

0:10:50.960 --> 0:10:52.840
<v Speaker 2>I just love the person so much. My last name

0:10:52.920 --> 0:10:53.400
<v Speaker 2>is Penis.

0:10:55.280 --> 0:10:57.400
<v Speaker 1>I think I think some people definitely look into that.

0:10:57.440 --> 0:10:59.679
<v Speaker 1>I mean, you hate our last name just.

0:10:59.600 --> 0:11:02.320
<v Speaker 2>Because I'm not a fan of it. But it's only

0:11:02.320 --> 0:11:04.920
<v Speaker 2>because people can't understand. I literally say I on the

0:11:04.960 --> 0:11:08.920
<v Speaker 2>phone coffin c A U S S as in Sam

0:11:09.120 --> 0:11:11.280
<v Speaker 2>I N. They're like, okay, miss Coffin, and I'm like,

0:11:11.360 --> 0:11:12.880
<v Speaker 2>I literally just spelled it out for you.

0:11:13.800 --> 0:11:15.800
<v Speaker 4>Mike is still Mike Kramer in my phone.

0:11:19.520 --> 0:11:20.480
<v Speaker 1>As I should be.

0:11:20.559 --> 0:11:21.240
<v Speaker 2>Oh, I love it.

0:11:21.320 --> 0:11:22.920
<v Speaker 3>I didn't think of the Coffin element.

0:11:23.440 --> 0:11:26.360
<v Speaker 2>It's so and I the part that bothers me is

0:11:26.360 --> 0:11:28.160
<v Speaker 2>that I go out of my way to spell it

0:11:28.200 --> 0:11:28.679
<v Speaker 2>out for them.

0:11:29.400 --> 0:11:32.800
<v Speaker 3>Hates our last name too, and that's kind of molenit skim.

0:11:32.960 --> 0:11:33.679
<v Speaker 3>It's just cumbers.

0:11:33.800 --> 0:11:37.760
<v Speaker 2>Oh yeah, I guess to a degree.

0:11:37.880 --> 0:11:40.000
<v Speaker 3>But I also am a little insulted when she hates

0:11:40.040 --> 0:11:40.520
<v Speaker 3>it so much?

0:11:41.200 --> 0:11:43.760
<v Speaker 2>Are you insulted when I hate yours? Ours?

0:11:44.920 --> 0:11:49.520
<v Speaker 1>Exactly my case. I think that's why Ja doesn't even

0:11:49.559 --> 0:11:52.720
<v Speaker 1>consider it her last name, even though legally it is.

0:11:53.040 --> 0:11:56.040
<v Speaker 2>It's but I'm just because it's just it is frustrating, though,

0:11:56.080 --> 0:11:58.000
<v Speaker 2>like when when you when you go out of your

0:11:58.040 --> 0:12:01.280
<v Speaker 2>way to say s S as in super or Sam,

0:12:01.400 --> 0:12:05.559
<v Speaker 2>and people still say, Okay, miss Coffin, I get.

0:12:05.360 --> 0:12:06.920
<v Speaker 1>It, I've dealt with it my whole life, or they

0:12:06.960 --> 0:12:09.160
<v Speaker 1>add an Ellen there for claws in which I never

0:12:09.200 --> 0:12:09.840
<v Speaker 1>even mentioned.

0:12:09.920 --> 0:12:11.760
<v Speaker 2>So then why would you be offended if we went

0:12:11.800 --> 0:12:12.319
<v Speaker 2>to Kramer?

0:12:13.320 --> 0:12:16.120
<v Speaker 1>Because the best thing is is a lot of times

0:12:16.200 --> 0:12:19.160
<v Speaker 1>Jana still books things under Jana Kramer because it's just easier,

0:12:19.640 --> 0:12:22.080
<v Speaker 1>and so Janna would give me crap like all the

0:12:22.120 --> 0:12:24.760
<v Speaker 1>time about my last name and the issue. So she

0:12:24.760 --> 0:12:27.000
<v Speaker 1>booked something Kramer. We show up to this resort for

0:12:27.000 --> 0:12:30.640
<v Speaker 1>a vacation and they say, oh, welcome, mister and missus Premier.

0:12:31.320 --> 0:12:35.960
<v Speaker 1>And I was one time that's all I need, That's

0:12:36.000 --> 0:12:39.559
<v Speaker 1>all I needed was one person to pronounce it incorrectly.

0:12:40.200 --> 0:12:42.720
<v Speaker 2>But I always say, this is actually his last names Cosson.

0:12:42.800 --> 0:12:47.440
<v Speaker 2>Let's say cossin places like when we go to a hotel.

0:12:47.559 --> 0:12:52.040
<v Speaker 1>I don't care. Maybe early on I was a little

0:12:52.040 --> 0:12:54.080
<v Speaker 1>bit more self conscious. Now I'm like, yo, say your

0:12:54.160 --> 0:12:57.240
<v Speaker 1>last name, let's get hooked up. I was like, I'll

0:12:57.240 --> 0:12:57.880
<v Speaker 1>be mister Kramer.

0:12:57.880 --> 0:12:59.679
<v Speaker 2>A free ice cream, it's about it.

0:13:00.120 --> 0:13:00.760
<v Speaker 1>I'll take it.

0:13:00.840 --> 0:13:02.640
<v Speaker 3>I met a family over the weekend whose last name

0:13:02.640 --> 0:13:05.559
<v Speaker 3>was Hamburger. If Mike had been Mike Hamburger, would you

0:13:05.640 --> 0:13:06.679
<v Speaker 3>be Jenna Hamburger.

0:13:07.600 --> 0:13:10.320
<v Speaker 2>See that is just where That's exactly my point. And

0:13:10.320 --> 0:13:12.720
<v Speaker 2>I'm curious that I want. I truly want people to

0:13:12.800 --> 0:13:14.560
<v Speaker 2>because I'm not trying to be vain. This isn't this

0:13:14.640 --> 0:13:17.760
<v Speaker 2>is just a fun topic conversation. I'm truly not trying

0:13:17.760 --> 0:13:20.319
<v Speaker 2>to be at any Yeah, and at the end of

0:13:20.320 --> 0:13:22.240
<v Speaker 2>the day, I would love him no matter what, I

0:13:22.280 --> 0:13:24.520
<v Speaker 2>just think it's funny. So I'm just curious if anyone

0:13:24.559 --> 0:13:27.439
<v Speaker 2>else has any funny last names or what they could

0:13:27.480 --> 0:13:27.880
<v Speaker 2>have married.

0:13:27.880 --> 0:13:29.079
<v Speaker 1>And there's got to be someone that listens.

0:13:30.240 --> 0:13:33.560
<v Speaker 2>Name mister Seaman was our swim coach, and I'm like,

0:13:34.320 --> 0:13:36.360
<v Speaker 2>in high school, I'm like, would I be a missus Seman?

0:13:36.440 --> 0:13:40.040
<v Speaker 2>I don't know, Like again, if your last name was Semen,

0:13:40.520 --> 0:13:42.600
<v Speaker 2>it's just it's just you got you have to have

0:13:42.679 --> 0:13:45.520
<v Speaker 2>real like you know, hello mister Seman and shout out

0:13:45.520 --> 0:13:46.320
<v Speaker 2>to my swim coach.

0:13:47.240 --> 0:13:49.280
<v Speaker 4>My wife, Aliston could not wait to change her name.

0:13:49.480 --> 0:13:51.800
<v Speaker 4>Her last name was Drinker and when she was in

0:13:51.840 --> 0:13:54.800
<v Speaker 4>college her first name is Alison. Her email address was

0:13:54.840 --> 0:13:58.280
<v Speaker 4>a drinker You see and see that you and she

0:13:58.360 --> 0:13:59.840
<v Speaker 4>hated it. It cuts you off after.

0:13:59.760 --> 0:14:04.760
<v Speaker 2>Sell like I would never actually ask doctor Hoe if

0:14:04.800 --> 0:14:07.040
<v Speaker 2>she is that it? Yeah, doctor Howe see again, Like

0:14:07.080 --> 0:14:08.320
<v Speaker 2>I would never actually ask her.

0:14:08.400 --> 0:14:10.000
<v Speaker 3>You're not going to I thought this was all a

0:14:10.000 --> 0:14:10.960
<v Speaker 3>part of setup to you.

0:14:11.240 --> 0:14:15.360
<v Speaker 2>Because I'm not. I'm actually not rude. Contrary for popular

0:14:15.920 --> 0:14:21.000
<v Speaker 2>popular opinions, I would never actually ask. But I'm just curious.

0:14:21.080 --> 0:14:22.280
<v Speaker 2>What's our email address? Again?

0:14:22.600 --> 0:14:25.840
<v Speaker 4>It's wind downradio dot com.

0:14:25.200 --> 0:14:27.400
<v Speaker 2>So please send me like the best last name you've

0:14:27.400 --> 0:14:30.440
<v Speaker 2>heard for real. I just really want to know because

0:14:30.440 --> 0:14:33.000
<v Speaker 2>I think it's funny.

0:14:32.120 --> 0:14:33.800
<v Speaker 3>Call out of the morning show named worm and that's

0:14:33.840 --> 0:14:35.960
<v Speaker 3>why he was calling his wife or his fiance didn't

0:14:35.960 --> 0:14:40.440
<v Speaker 3>want to take his last name really yeast Morning show.

0:14:40.520 --> 0:14:42.440
<v Speaker 1>Yes, so it's definitely happens.

0:14:42.800 --> 0:14:43.600
<v Speaker 3>Definitely happens.

0:14:44.280 --> 0:14:46.440
<v Speaker 2>I mean, if you guys were to take it, let's say,

0:14:46.480 --> 0:14:48.680
<v Speaker 2>I know guys don't take names, but if you were,

0:14:48.880 --> 0:14:51.920
<v Speaker 2>I mean, was it something where I mean, would you

0:14:51.960 --> 0:14:58.160
<v Speaker 2>like your last name to be vagina?

0:14:58.720 --> 0:14:58.920
<v Speaker 3>Yes?

0:14:59.240 --> 0:15:04.600
<v Speaker 1>Yes, yes, I'll change my first name.

0:15:05.320 --> 0:15:09.400
<v Speaker 2>I just asked guy, Oh my god, Michael, a lot

0:15:09.400 --> 0:15:11.000
<v Speaker 2>of vagina would.

0:15:10.800 --> 0:15:11.200
<v Speaker 1>Be really bad.

0:15:11.480 --> 0:15:13.840
<v Speaker 3>Your last name is vagina. And it wasn't spelled the

0:15:13.920 --> 0:15:16.000
<v Speaker 3>traditional way of spelling it. It was like V A

0:15:16.200 --> 0:15:20.000
<v Speaker 3>J H, Y and E. And then you're like every

0:15:20.000 --> 0:15:23.000
<v Speaker 3>time you have to say it's vagina V Y g H.

0:15:23.360 --> 0:15:25.480
<v Speaker 2>You know, maybe I asked a guy a wrong question.

0:15:25.480 --> 0:15:27.520
<v Speaker 2>I shouldn't say. Let's say it was your last name

0:15:27.560 --> 0:15:32.920
<v Speaker 2>was scrotum, would never be you know, let's see, let's

0:15:32.960 --> 0:15:33.360
<v Speaker 2>google it.

0:15:33.960 --> 0:15:34.400
<v Speaker 1>Last name.

0:15:35.040 --> 0:15:37.200
<v Speaker 3>Are more guys going to be taking women's names?

0:15:37.360 --> 0:15:39.760
<v Speaker 1>Is it? I don't think it's going to be that.

0:15:39.880 --> 0:15:41.640
<v Speaker 1>I think it's just going to be. I don't think

0:15:41.680 --> 0:15:43.240
<v Speaker 1>it's gonna be men taking the women's I think that

0:15:43.320 --> 0:15:47.320
<v Speaker 1>the women just may decide not to take the men

0:15:47.520 --> 0:15:48.400
<v Speaker 1>man's last name, but.

0:15:48.360 --> 0:15:51.160
<v Speaker 2>Then scro are someone's last name.

0:15:52.680 --> 0:15:55.080
<v Speaker 3>That too. I think we googled the same things.

0:15:56.160 --> 0:15:57.560
<v Speaker 2>Did you just say scrot them last name?

0:15:57.960 --> 0:15:58.160
<v Speaker 1>Did?

0:15:58.520 --> 0:16:02.200
<v Speaker 2>Yeah? And it came up with tesccles and scrotum last name,

0:16:02.280 --> 0:16:07.600
<v Speaker 2>the Scrotum family. Like, here's the thing, Zoe, Zoe Saldano's

0:16:07.760 --> 0:16:09.800
<v Speaker 2>husband took her last name, right.

0:16:10.200 --> 0:16:13.200
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, this time has come. It's just a matter of

0:16:13.240 --> 0:16:15.240
<v Speaker 3>when it will become one of the tipping point happened

0:16:15.280 --> 0:16:18.040
<v Speaker 3>where it's a regular thing. It's still I think.

0:16:17.920 --> 0:16:19.840
<v Speaker 2>It's a lot of girls now are not taking the

0:16:19.880 --> 0:16:23.280
<v Speaker 2>man's name at all and just having separate right.

0:16:23.160 --> 0:16:25.120
<v Speaker 1>Which I don't necessarily have a problem with. For me,

0:16:25.200 --> 0:16:26.360
<v Speaker 1>it's just about the kid.

0:16:26.480 --> 0:16:29.440
<v Speaker 2>It's about which is why ultimately, which is right?

0:16:29.520 --> 0:16:32.760
<v Speaker 1>Right, which is ultimately why you did it because on paper,

0:16:32.880 --> 0:16:35.080
<v Speaker 1>legally I just wanted.

0:16:35.320 --> 0:16:36.600
<v Speaker 2>I want the same last name as Miche.

0:16:36.720 --> 0:16:38.320
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I want the kid. I want the whole family

0:16:38.360 --> 0:16:39.800
<v Speaker 1>to be where the cautions.

0:16:39.960 --> 0:16:42.200
<v Speaker 3>It's weird, it's weird. To have mom and dad her

0:16:42.240 --> 0:16:42.760
<v Speaker 3>last names.

0:16:43.120 --> 0:16:43.280
<v Speaker 5>Yeah.

0:16:43.320 --> 0:16:45.240
<v Speaker 2>See, that's I've always thought that was and I just

0:16:45.320 --> 0:16:46.840
<v Speaker 2>I want my last name to be the same as

0:16:46.920 --> 0:16:49.120
<v Speaker 2>Jolie's at the end of the day. But I think

0:16:49.120 --> 0:16:52.720
<v Speaker 2>it's also something where that is probably what's changing now.

0:16:52.760 --> 0:16:54.760
<v Speaker 2>And it's just like, all right, this is my last name,

0:16:54.760 --> 0:16:55.720
<v Speaker 2>that's your last name.

0:16:56.040 --> 0:17:00.000
<v Speaker 1>Right, which is taking book as we as generations can

0:17:00.200 --> 0:17:01.920
<v Speaker 1>you on. This is going to be the issue with

0:17:02.000 --> 0:17:05.280
<v Speaker 1>that is Okay, women are gonna start keeping their last name. Fine,

0:17:05.400 --> 0:17:08.240
<v Speaker 1>then give it some more time, like twenty more years,

0:17:08.280 --> 0:17:09.800
<v Speaker 1>and then it's gonna be like women be like, well,

0:17:09.840 --> 0:17:11.400
<v Speaker 1>why do the kids have to take your name?

0:17:12.520 --> 0:17:14.160
<v Speaker 2>What I would want you lay to take my name?

0:17:14.200 --> 0:17:16.119
<v Speaker 2>That's that's just what's with that?

0:17:16.200 --> 0:17:17.840
<v Speaker 1>And that what I'm just saying, this is going to

0:17:17.880 --> 0:17:21.480
<v Speaker 1>be a debate, probably sooner than later. Just the way

0:17:21.480 --> 0:17:24.200
<v Speaker 1>the trend of society is going right now is well,

0:17:24.200 --> 0:17:25.600
<v Speaker 1>why does it Why do we have to take the

0:17:25.640 --> 0:17:27.440
<v Speaker 1>man's last name? Why do the kids have to take

0:17:27.440 --> 0:17:29.320
<v Speaker 1>the man's last name? Why can't they take the women's?

0:17:29.359 --> 0:17:30.800
<v Speaker 1>Why equality?

0:17:31.320 --> 0:17:32.760
<v Speaker 2>Are you mocking equality?

0:17:32.800 --> 0:17:35.040
<v Speaker 1>Michael, Oh, I'm just saying. I'm just saying there's gonna

0:17:35.040 --> 0:17:38.480
<v Speaker 1>be it's gonna become some sensitive thing now because society's

0:17:38.520 --> 0:17:42.800
<v Speaker 1>over freaking sensitive to everything and no one can accept us.

0:17:43.080 --> 0:17:45.440
<v Speaker 1>Certain things are just the way they are. And I

0:17:45.480 --> 0:17:49.840
<v Speaker 1>don't see there's anything being wrong with a tradition of

0:17:49.880 --> 0:17:50.600
<v Speaker 1>that sort.

0:17:50.800 --> 0:17:52.520
<v Speaker 3>I think it's for the whole family to have the

0:17:52.520 --> 0:17:55.440
<v Speaker 3>same name, whether it's his or hers. I think it's

0:17:55.480 --> 0:17:57.679
<v Speaker 3>weird to have mom one name, dad one name. Some

0:17:57.680 --> 0:18:00.240
<v Speaker 3>some families have the boy takes dad's name, the girl

0:18:00.240 --> 0:18:03.160
<v Speaker 3>takes mom's name, to make the kids hyphen the names,

0:18:03.200 --> 0:18:04.240
<v Speaker 3>which just gets cumbersome.

0:18:04.800 --> 0:18:05.520
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, that's weird.

0:18:05.560 --> 0:18:07.440
<v Speaker 1>All right, let's take a break and we will come

0:18:07.480 --> 0:18:21.320
<v Speaker 1>back with doctor how Sweet. All right, I'm excited. Jane

0:18:21.400 --> 0:18:26.000
<v Speaker 1>is excited. Let's bring in doctor. You're incited. I'm excited.

0:18:26.080 --> 0:18:30.640
<v Speaker 1>Jana is incided. I'm excited. Jana is excited. Let's bring

0:18:30.680 --> 0:18:37.080
<v Speaker 1>in doctor Judy Howe.

0:18:37.680 --> 0:18:40.639
<v Speaker 5>I'm really great, guys, I'm doing great. How about you, guys,

0:18:41.440 --> 0:18:41.840
<v Speaker 5>We're good.

0:18:41.880 --> 0:18:43.520
<v Speaker 2>We're so excited to talk to you.

0:18:44.080 --> 0:18:47.159
<v Speaker 1>Yes, I honestly going into this, I didn't really know

0:18:47.280 --> 0:18:49.399
<v Speaker 1>much about you, think reading the rundown. Let me just

0:18:49.440 --> 0:18:52.160
<v Speaker 1>give this to our listeners. You are a Triple Board

0:18:52.200 --> 0:18:57.800
<v Speaker 1>certified clinical and forensic neuropsychologist and co host of CBS's

0:18:57.920 --> 0:19:00.840
<v Speaker 1>show Face the Truth with Vivocate a box.

0:19:01.400 --> 0:19:04.920
<v Speaker 2>Wow, and you have a book called Stop Self Sabotage.

0:19:04.920 --> 0:19:07.840
<v Speaker 2>Six Steps to unlock your true motivation, harness your willpower,

0:19:07.840 --> 0:19:10.600
<v Speaker 2>and get out of your own way. And we were

0:19:10.640 --> 0:19:13.600
<v Speaker 2>actually just at our son's nine month well visit appointment

0:19:14.000 --> 0:19:16.959
<v Speaker 2>and Mike was, you know, reading down the rundown, and

0:19:17.000 --> 0:19:19.159
<v Speaker 2>I said, Wow, this is such a good topic for

0:19:19.480 --> 0:19:21.119
<v Speaker 2>for both of us. But I think Mike kind of

0:19:21.160 --> 0:19:24.840
<v Speaker 2>wants to kick it off because he's he's interested to

0:19:24.960 --> 0:19:25.679
<v Speaker 2>learn more about that.

0:19:26.040 --> 0:19:28.040
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I too. Yeah, let me let me just start

0:19:28.040 --> 0:19:28.560
<v Speaker 1>you off with this.

0:19:29.359 --> 0:19:32.560
<v Speaker 2>With you, we have very we have two very different scenarios.

0:19:32.600 --> 0:19:34.960
<v Speaker 1>So yeah, let me start you off with this question,

0:19:35.200 --> 0:19:39.200
<v Speaker 1>doctor Judy, what is the fine line? Because to me,

0:19:39.320 --> 0:19:43.720
<v Speaker 1>there's there's a line between being realistic and being self sabotaging,

0:19:44.520 --> 0:19:47.120
<v Speaker 1>So like, what does that look like in your your

0:19:47.160 --> 0:19:49.120
<v Speaker 1>professional opinion? Like, what's the difference?

0:19:50.000 --> 0:19:52.359
<v Speaker 5>That's an awesome question, actually, and no one's got to

0:19:52.440 --> 0:19:55.000
<v Speaker 5>ask me that. So this is a great time to

0:19:55.040 --> 0:19:56.640
<v Speaker 5>kind of talk about that distinction, because you know, there's

0:19:56.680 --> 0:19:58.919
<v Speaker 5>some people who are just so driven, they have so

0:19:59.040 --> 0:20:02.480
<v Speaker 5>many goals and maybe they falter on one or two,

0:20:02.560 --> 0:20:04.679
<v Speaker 5>or maybe they're just a little bit slow in getting

0:20:04.680 --> 0:20:06.359
<v Speaker 5>to wherever they want it to be. But their vision

0:20:06.440 --> 0:20:08.520
<v Speaker 5>is really big, and so is that self sabotage? I

0:20:08.560 --> 0:20:11.840
<v Speaker 5>would say no, because self sabotage is actually repeatedly getting

0:20:11.880 --> 0:20:14.080
<v Speaker 5>in your own way despite your best intention. So that's

0:20:14.119 --> 0:20:16.560
<v Speaker 5>when you say I have this goal, and then you

0:20:16.600 --> 0:20:18.760
<v Speaker 5>start to work towards that goal. But you are the

0:20:19.280 --> 0:20:22.480
<v Speaker 5>why you stop your own progress. Not because you know

0:20:22.600 --> 0:20:24.879
<v Speaker 5>the world, not because well it just takes time to

0:20:24.880 --> 0:20:27.120
<v Speaker 5>get there, because this is a big dream of yours. No,

0:20:27.240 --> 0:20:29.919
<v Speaker 5>It's like a good example of this might be somebody

0:20:29.920 --> 0:20:32.760
<v Speaker 5>who says, okay, I'm going to finally lose you know,

0:20:32.800 --> 0:20:34.920
<v Speaker 5>those twenty pounds. My doctors said it would be good

0:20:34.960 --> 0:20:37.280
<v Speaker 5>for me, let me get healthier, and they're so close,

0:20:37.320 --> 0:20:38.920
<v Speaker 5>you know, they've been doing so well for two months,

0:20:38.920 --> 0:20:40.639
<v Speaker 5>and all of a sudden they just go on a

0:20:40.680 --> 0:20:43.000
<v Speaker 5>crazy binge over a vacation for a week when they

0:20:43.000 --> 0:20:44.879
<v Speaker 5>didn't have to do that. You know, that would be

0:20:44.920 --> 0:20:48.000
<v Speaker 5>self sabotaged. Whereas somebody who's saying, well, I want to

0:20:48.000 --> 0:20:50.680
<v Speaker 5>be you know, the next elite triathlete and they train

0:20:50.720 --> 0:20:52.800
<v Speaker 5>for a year's like, okay, I'm still not an elite triathlete.

0:20:52.840 --> 0:20:55.200
<v Speaker 5>Well that's okay if you're making progress, because that's a

0:20:55.280 --> 0:20:57.960
<v Speaker 5>huge goal and that takes time sometimes years to get there.

0:20:58.840 --> 0:21:03.120
<v Speaker 2>Right, but also realizing that like, Okay, I'm not going anywhere,

0:21:03.160 --> 0:21:06.440
<v Speaker 2>So is that okay to then stop? When you to

0:21:06.800 --> 0:21:09.600
<v Speaker 2>what his questions like, Okay, well, obviously you know that

0:21:09.720 --> 0:21:13.120
<v Speaker 2>you're not going to be the next American idol if

0:21:13.119 --> 0:21:15.560
<v Speaker 2>you're completely toned off. But yeah, if you keep going

0:21:15.600 --> 0:21:17.359
<v Speaker 2>and it's like you can do it, like you've got to,

0:21:17.440 --> 0:21:18.800
<v Speaker 2>it's like when.

0:21:18.640 --> 0:21:19.639
<v Speaker 5>Do you right?

0:21:19.720 --> 0:21:23.399
<v Speaker 1>Yeah? Again, when's realistic? Because I feel like people in

0:21:23.440 --> 0:21:26.880
<v Speaker 1>general can talk themselves out of something, and so it's

0:21:27.240 --> 0:21:29.600
<v Speaker 1>you know, especially for someone like me, and our listeners

0:21:29.640 --> 0:21:31.359
<v Speaker 1>have heard me say this a lot, just issues with

0:21:31.400 --> 0:21:34.639
<v Speaker 1>not feeling good enough or never really satisfied with something

0:21:34.680 --> 0:21:36.639
<v Speaker 1>where I look back in my professional career or sports

0:21:36.680 --> 0:21:39.240
<v Speaker 1>or this or that and I'm like, did I work

0:21:39.240 --> 0:21:41.960
<v Speaker 1>as hard as I could even though I know I did,

0:21:42.280 --> 0:21:45.160
<v Speaker 1>Even though I know that I do, but now after

0:21:45.200 --> 0:21:49.000
<v Speaker 1>the fact, I question it. So I'm like, you know

0:21:49.080 --> 0:21:51.679
<v Speaker 1>what that battle is? Just it drives me.

0:21:51.760 --> 0:21:55.119
<v Speaker 5>Nuts on well, totally. And I think that that is

0:21:55.160 --> 0:21:57.200
<v Speaker 5>you know, much as we talk about like precursors to

0:21:57.320 --> 0:21:59.320
<v Speaker 5>self davatize, It doesn't mean that you're going to step

0:21:59.359 --> 0:22:01.639
<v Speaker 5>in it. It just means that these are certain traps

0:22:01.680 --> 0:22:04.160
<v Speaker 5>that you know, it can sometimes get people into more

0:22:04.240 --> 0:22:06.640
<v Speaker 5>risky situations where they might self sabotage, or they will

0:22:06.680 --> 0:22:10.120
<v Speaker 5>on occasion. And you know that sort of self talk

0:22:10.400 --> 0:22:13.199
<v Speaker 5>or like thoughts is a huge part of it, you know,

0:22:13.280 --> 0:22:17.359
<v Speaker 5>because we don't have feelings or actions without thoughts first.

0:22:17.480 --> 0:22:19.520
<v Speaker 5>And sometimes who just don't notice the thoughts. We notice

0:22:19.520 --> 0:22:21.760
<v Speaker 5>it that we feel better or we do something. We're like, ah,

0:22:21.760 --> 0:22:23.760
<v Speaker 5>why don't we do that? But there's always like a

0:22:23.800 --> 0:22:26.320
<v Speaker 5>thought process that precedes it. And so in my book,

0:22:26.320 --> 0:22:29.400
<v Speaker 5>I talk about my theory where self sabotage can come

0:22:29.440 --> 0:22:32.120
<v Speaker 5>from like one or four places, and people can say

0:22:32.119 --> 0:22:34.000
<v Speaker 5>that they see themselves in a little bit of each one,

0:22:34.240 --> 0:22:36.000
<v Speaker 5>or they see themselves in all four. It doesn't mean

0:22:36.040 --> 0:22:38.400
<v Speaker 5>they self sabotage all the time, but it just means

0:22:38.400 --> 0:22:41.320
<v Speaker 5>that these are your particular triggers. And so I put

0:22:41.320 --> 0:22:43.280
<v Speaker 5>it into an acronym called life because that's how I

0:22:43.320 --> 0:22:46.480
<v Speaker 5>remember things, as like make acronyms and so life, each

0:22:46.520 --> 0:22:48.359
<v Speaker 5>of them stands for a different factor. And so to

0:22:48.440 --> 0:22:51.080
<v Speaker 5>your point, Mike, you know what you are talking about

0:22:51.480 --> 0:22:54.480
<v Speaker 5>could be something like you know, so there's the four acronyms.

0:22:54.640 --> 0:22:58.080
<v Speaker 5>They stand for L stands for lower shapy self esteem.

0:22:58.520 --> 0:23:00.840
<v Speaker 5>I stands for internalized belief You know, things that you

0:23:00.920 --> 0:23:03.000
<v Speaker 5>might have, you know, even started to learn from childhood,

0:23:03.000 --> 0:23:05.040
<v Speaker 5>and as an adult you start to adopt them yourself.

0:23:05.480 --> 0:23:07.359
<v Speaker 5>And then F it's fear of change or the unknown,

0:23:07.440 --> 0:23:10.040
<v Speaker 5>and E is a sessive need for control. And so

0:23:10.080 --> 0:23:13.480
<v Speaker 5>sometimes when you like wonder did I do my best

0:23:13.520 --> 0:23:15.560
<v Speaker 5>even though you know you did, but that thought is

0:23:15.600 --> 0:23:18.120
<v Speaker 5>still there, it could be part of life, for example,

0:23:18.119 --> 0:23:21.440
<v Speaker 5>an internalized beliefs, where like maybe you just learn from

0:23:21.440 --> 0:23:24.200
<v Speaker 5>a very young age that like you've got to keep

0:23:24.240 --> 0:23:27.000
<v Speaker 5>trying and like you're not good enough until you keep going,

0:23:27.040 --> 0:23:29.359
<v Speaker 5>Like there's these messages that you get from parents or

0:23:29.400 --> 0:23:31.960
<v Speaker 5>coaches or teachers, and then as an adult you start

0:23:32.000 --> 0:23:34.040
<v Speaker 5>beating on yourself with those messages even when you have

0:23:34.119 --> 0:23:34.760
<v Speaker 5>had your best.

0:23:35.640 --> 0:23:39.159
<v Speaker 1>Absolutely, I mean that that resonates, resonates completely with me

0:23:39.280 --> 0:23:41.560
<v Speaker 1>is definitely part of my story. And I have one

0:23:41.560 --> 0:23:45.040
<v Speaker 1>more situation I want to bring up just personally. And again,

0:23:45.160 --> 0:23:46.520
<v Speaker 1>Jane and I are very open the show. So if

0:23:46.560 --> 0:23:48.760
<v Speaker 1>something for me is like Jana always encouraged me when

0:23:48.760 --> 0:23:51.880
<v Speaker 1>I was done with my NFL career and everything like that,

0:23:51.920 --> 0:23:53.680
<v Speaker 1>and even people around me they're like, oh, you should

0:23:53.680 --> 0:23:56.600
<v Speaker 1>try you know, sportscasting and this and that, and you'd

0:23:56.600 --> 0:24:00.040
<v Speaker 1>be really good at it, and and me, I, I

0:24:00.040 --> 0:24:02.320
<v Speaker 1>guess you could call them excuses, but I always told myself,

0:24:02.440 --> 0:24:05.560
<v Speaker 1>was like, yeah, that'd be great. But almost every player

0:24:05.600 --> 0:24:08.520
<v Speaker 1>that retires, that's the first thing they want to get into.

0:24:09.119 --> 0:24:12.040
<v Speaker 1>And every time that some guy that played for ten

0:24:12.080 --> 0:24:14.920
<v Speaker 1>plus years is a first you know, first ballot Hall

0:24:14.960 --> 0:24:17.600
<v Speaker 1>of Famer and multiple Pro Bowls, a Super Bowl, this

0:24:17.680 --> 0:24:19.439
<v Speaker 1>and that, they get bumped to the top of the

0:24:19.480 --> 0:24:22.800
<v Speaker 1>list every year those guys retire. So I'm like, you know,

0:24:22.880 --> 0:24:25.320
<v Speaker 1>maybe I'm not confident in my accolades that I achieved

0:24:25.320 --> 0:24:27.919
<v Speaker 1>in my career or whatever it may be, But to me,

0:24:29.080 --> 0:24:32.320
<v Speaker 1>I've thought of it as being realistic and to me

0:24:32.520 --> 0:24:32.800
<v Speaker 1>and my.

0:24:32.920 --> 0:24:35.680
<v Speaker 2>Wife and as his wife, I'm like, Okay, first of all,

0:24:35.960 --> 0:24:37.760
<v Speaker 2>you don't have a face for radio. You've got a

0:24:37.760 --> 0:24:41.600
<v Speaker 2>face for TV. You're so charming, you are so like

0:24:41.640 --> 0:24:45.719
<v Speaker 2>you ask amazing questions. You're so charming and you like

0:24:45.760 --> 0:24:47.919
<v Speaker 2>you would be and everyone has met him. It's like,

0:24:48.000 --> 0:24:50.200
<v Speaker 2>you need to do sports broadcasting and I'm like, babe,

0:24:50.440 --> 0:24:52.080
<v Speaker 2>I can link you with the right people. We can.

0:24:52.640 --> 0:24:54.320
<v Speaker 2>Like it's going to be worth a lot of hard work,

0:24:54.320 --> 0:24:56.360
<v Speaker 2>but like you can do it. And it's just it's

0:24:56.359 --> 0:24:58.480
<v Speaker 2>been so frustrating to stand the sidelence and I'm like, Okay,

0:24:58.480 --> 0:25:00.280
<v Speaker 2>I can't push for a dream that maybe he just

0:25:00.320 --> 0:25:02.679
<v Speaker 2>doesn't want, but I think he does want. So it's

0:25:02.680 --> 0:25:03.879
<v Speaker 2>like it's hard for me because I'm like, does he

0:25:03.960 --> 0:25:06.200
<v Speaker 2>want it? Does he not want it? Like when should

0:25:06.200 --> 0:25:08.000
<v Speaker 2>I stop pushing him? Because I want him to be

0:25:08.080 --> 0:25:09.800
<v Speaker 2>so happy. I'm like, if you want to be a garbage,

0:25:10.000 --> 0:25:11.040
<v Speaker 2>I don't care what you do.

0:25:11.520 --> 0:25:13.000
<v Speaker 1>I just want you to be happy, happy.

0:25:13.600 --> 0:25:15.919
<v Speaker 2>But it's like, but I also know, but I just

0:25:16.000 --> 0:25:19.159
<v Speaker 2>also know, like what he's capable of and what he's

0:25:19.680 --> 0:25:22.479
<v Speaker 2>walking away from when he has an opportunity, and he

0:25:22.520 --> 0:25:25.199
<v Speaker 2>could have those opportunities. So it's frustrating as like a

0:25:25.200 --> 0:25:28.320
<v Speaker 2>biastander to be like, why wouldn't you want to try? Right?

0:25:28.400 --> 0:25:30.440
<v Speaker 5>Well, not that's not only as a vicegander, but obviously,

0:25:30.480 --> 0:25:32.119
<v Speaker 5>like that's the one who loves him, and you're like,

0:25:32.160 --> 0:25:35.199
<v Speaker 5>come on, like, I can see so much more that

0:25:35.240 --> 0:25:37.640
<v Speaker 5>could happen, but we want to make sure that it's

0:25:37.680 --> 0:25:40.600
<v Speaker 5>what might want, right, And so that's obviously the struggle

0:25:40.640 --> 0:25:43.080
<v Speaker 5>that you're having. But you know, I do think that, Mike.

0:25:43.160 --> 0:25:45.359
<v Speaker 5>Sometimes maybe your thoughts do get in the way. And

0:25:45.400 --> 0:25:47.679
<v Speaker 5>like there's these categories of thought that we all have,

0:25:47.880 --> 0:25:50.439
<v Speaker 5>you know, and everybody has them in different amounts. But

0:25:50.800 --> 0:25:54.560
<v Speaker 5>you know, one type of thought though is discounting the positives.

0:25:54.600 --> 0:25:56.840
<v Speaker 5>And I can definitely see that that might be part

0:25:56.880 --> 0:25:59.560
<v Speaker 5>of your thinking that you know, even when you've achieved

0:25:59.560 --> 0:26:02.159
<v Speaker 5>a lot, Yeah, but that's not really anything that I

0:26:02.160 --> 0:26:04.280
<v Speaker 5>should have done more. And it's almost the same thing

0:26:04.280 --> 0:26:06.680
<v Speaker 5>when you compare yourself to some of these other guys, like, well,

0:26:06.760 --> 0:26:09.040
<v Speaker 5>but they've got like five, ten, fifteen years on me,

0:26:09.440 --> 0:26:11.320
<v Speaker 5>So maybe I'm just not there yet. Maybe if I

0:26:11.440 --> 0:26:13.280
<v Speaker 5>even want to do that, I can't even do that

0:26:13.320 --> 0:26:16.120
<v Speaker 5>for another ten years. And you know, while that's really

0:26:16.160 --> 0:26:18.399
<v Speaker 5>awesome because it sounds like you're a very humble person

0:26:18.400 --> 0:26:20.800
<v Speaker 5>who's like grateful for your opportunities, you can see how

0:26:20.840 --> 0:26:22.440
<v Speaker 5>those thoughts can get in your own way, right, because,

0:26:22.440 --> 0:26:25.400
<v Speaker 5>for example, like Sianna was saying, maybe there are people

0:26:25.440 --> 0:26:26.960
<v Speaker 5>who are just like dying to get to know you

0:26:27.000 --> 0:26:29.040
<v Speaker 5>and put you on air. But if you don't go

0:26:29.160 --> 0:26:30.720
<v Speaker 5>for it, and if you don't like say yes to

0:26:30.800 --> 0:26:34.320
<v Speaker 5>the meeting, then that wouldn't happen until you say yes, right,

0:26:34.400 --> 0:26:36.640
<v Speaker 5>And so that wouldn't be a place where you could

0:26:36.720 --> 0:26:39.760
<v Speaker 5>slip up and self davotage, is it?

0:26:40.040 --> 0:26:42.520
<v Speaker 1>I mean, you guys just talking about it something that's

0:26:42.560 --> 0:26:45.560
<v Speaker 1>coming up for me. Maybe it's I do have a

0:26:45.600 --> 0:26:51.040
<v Speaker 1>fear around my concern is that my fears get validated? Right, yes?

0:26:51.119 --> 0:26:53.119
<v Speaker 1>So so yeah, I say, I do put myself out there,

0:26:53.400 --> 0:26:55.480
<v Speaker 1>and the reason that it doesn't work out is are

0:26:55.520 --> 0:26:58.320
<v Speaker 1>for the exact reasons why I was hesitant in the first.

0:26:58.160 --> 0:27:02.040
<v Speaker 5>Place, totally right, Because you're afraid that that might like

0:27:02.880 --> 0:27:05.679
<v Speaker 5>you know, validate or confirm like these deep fears that

0:27:05.720 --> 0:27:07.320
<v Speaker 5>you have, and like what does that mean about you?

0:27:07.359 --> 0:27:09.440
<v Speaker 5>Then if you don't get it, and I think, again,

0:27:09.480 --> 0:27:11.000
<v Speaker 5>this is like where our thoughts can get us in

0:27:11.040 --> 0:27:14.120
<v Speaker 5>the loop, right, because what's happening in this case would

0:27:14.160 --> 0:27:16.080
<v Speaker 5>be that if you don't get it, there could be

0:27:16.080 --> 0:27:18.000
<v Speaker 5>a million reasons it could be, well, this is just

0:27:18.000 --> 0:27:19.560
<v Speaker 5>not the time where we already had a person we

0:27:19.560 --> 0:27:21.960
<v Speaker 5>were already talking to, so that spot was already held

0:27:22.000 --> 0:27:24.120
<v Speaker 5>and that person said yes, and so we're not even

0:27:24.280 --> 0:27:27.200
<v Speaker 5>entertaining any other offers, even though yours was a really

0:27:27.200 --> 0:27:29.760
<v Speaker 5>close second. You know, all these things could happen, but

0:27:29.800 --> 0:27:32.439
<v Speaker 5>like your own interpretation though of that if it were

0:27:32.600 --> 0:27:35.400
<v Speaker 5>to happen is oh see, I wasn't good enough and

0:27:35.560 --> 0:27:38.000
<v Speaker 5>I shouldn't have even done it. And you know, I

0:27:38.080 --> 0:27:40.040
<v Speaker 5>talk all the time with people I work with, my

0:27:40.080 --> 0:27:42.800
<v Speaker 5>friends and my family and my clients. You know about

0:27:43.400 --> 0:27:45.840
<v Speaker 5>the things that we tell ourselves when a situation happens.

0:27:45.880 --> 0:27:48.439
<v Speaker 5>Like two of the same situations could happen to the

0:27:48.760 --> 0:27:51.760
<v Speaker 5>two different people, and they could have completely different reactions

0:27:51.760 --> 0:27:54.479
<v Speaker 5>to it. Like, for example, if two separate people were

0:27:54.560 --> 0:27:56.600
<v Speaker 5>laid off, one person could have a thought like, oh

0:27:56.680 --> 0:27:58.320
<v Speaker 5>my gosh, like what am I going to do for money?

0:27:58.359 --> 0:27:59.680
<v Speaker 5>What am I going to tell my family? This is

0:27:59.680 --> 0:28:02.160
<v Speaker 5>still in arsa, and you can see how they was spiral.

0:28:02.320 --> 0:28:05.160
<v Speaker 5>They would have negative emotions, they would probably go and isolate.

0:28:05.440 --> 0:28:07.760
<v Speaker 5>But then the other persons who gets laid off, they're like,

0:28:07.800 --> 0:28:09.679
<v Speaker 5>thank goodness, I didn't like this job that much in

0:28:09.720 --> 0:28:11.800
<v Speaker 5>the first place. So while it's stuck to not have

0:28:11.840 --> 0:28:13.679
<v Speaker 5>a job, like this is my time to recent let

0:28:13.680 --> 0:28:15.119
<v Speaker 5>me think about what I want to do next, and

0:28:15.160 --> 0:28:17.000
<v Speaker 5>you can see how that person can have a totally

0:28:17.040 --> 0:28:20.000
<v Speaker 5>different cascade of emotions and actions after that. They may

0:28:20.000 --> 0:28:22.240
<v Speaker 5>even be looking up a little freefacation, you know, They

0:28:22.240 --> 0:28:24.639
<v Speaker 5>may you know, make dinner plans with their friends. And

0:28:24.720 --> 0:28:26.879
<v Speaker 5>so that's kind of the power of thoughts right as

0:28:26.960 --> 0:28:29.720
<v Speaker 5>human beings. I mean, it's like our greatest achievement and

0:28:29.760 --> 0:28:32.960
<v Speaker 5>our greatest downfall that we have thoughts and we have language.

0:28:33.000 --> 0:28:34.879
<v Speaker 5>I guess what leads us to be the top of

0:28:34.920 --> 0:28:37.879
<v Speaker 5>the food chain. But it's also like what leads us

0:28:37.880 --> 0:28:42.000
<v Speaker 5>to have suffering. And that's I think the interesting piece

0:28:42.080 --> 0:28:44.400
<v Speaker 5>of the puzzle is that the thoughts are what leads

0:28:44.440 --> 0:28:47.960
<v Speaker 5>us to oftentimes our suffering most definitely.

0:28:48.240 --> 0:28:51.120
<v Speaker 1>And let me just ask this too on the opposite

0:28:51.160 --> 0:28:53.200
<v Speaker 1>side of this, like if you're in Jan's shoes, just

0:28:53.240 --> 0:28:55.920
<v Speaker 1>in our situation, for instance, like what do you say

0:28:55.960 --> 0:28:58.760
<v Speaker 1>to those people, the loved ones, the friends, the supporters

0:28:58.760 --> 0:29:01.840
<v Speaker 1>of somebody that see this person that they love and

0:29:01.880 --> 0:29:05.880
<v Speaker 1>care for self sabotaging themselves, Like at what point, like

0:29:05.920 --> 0:29:08.560
<v Speaker 1>for Jenna for instance, or somebody else. How much should

0:29:08.560 --> 0:29:11.400
<v Speaker 1>they push until they just realize there's no more. I

0:29:11.400 --> 0:29:13.120
<v Speaker 1>can't push anymore, you know what I mean?

0:29:13.680 --> 0:29:16.120
<v Speaker 5>Yeah, yeah, I know it can be so frustrating. I

0:29:16.160 --> 0:29:18.280
<v Speaker 5>think for a loved one to see, oh my gosh,

0:29:18.440 --> 0:29:20.160
<v Speaker 5>I feel like you want this, but I'm not sure

0:29:20.200 --> 0:29:21.760
<v Speaker 5>if you're just not saying it. And I know that

0:29:21.800 --> 0:29:24.440
<v Speaker 5>you can even do more than what you're doing, but

0:29:24.480 --> 0:29:26.760
<v Speaker 5>they just want you to be happy. I think coming

0:29:26.800 --> 0:29:28.880
<v Speaker 5>from an external place, all you have to do is

0:29:28.920 --> 0:29:31.440
<v Speaker 5>support and validate the person. But at the same time,

0:29:31.880 --> 0:29:34.440
<v Speaker 5>that person it has to come from themselves. So you

0:29:34.480 --> 0:29:37.120
<v Speaker 5>can say that and you can support them and validate them.

0:29:37.120 --> 0:29:39.680
<v Speaker 5>But sometimes it almost even gets like irritating, like okay,

0:29:39.800 --> 0:29:43.240
<v Speaker 5>I understand, you know, like it makes you feel almost frustrated,

0:29:43.320 --> 0:29:45.560
<v Speaker 5>even though they're coming from such a good place. And

0:29:45.600 --> 0:29:47.960
<v Speaker 5>so I always tell people it's a really good thing

0:29:48.080 --> 0:29:50.920
<v Speaker 5>as a loved one to remind the person that you

0:29:51.040 --> 0:29:55.160
<v Speaker 5>love to refocus on their values or their value system

0:29:55.440 --> 0:29:57.160
<v Speaker 5>as a way to get them out of that thinking.

0:29:57.360 --> 0:30:00.360
<v Speaker 5>So values are very different from goals, the thing that

0:30:00.360 --> 0:30:01.760
<v Speaker 5>you can check off the list, right, I can run

0:30:01.760 --> 0:30:04.600
<v Speaker 5>a marathon that can check it off. But values are

0:30:04.640 --> 0:30:07.040
<v Speaker 5>things that you want your life to stand for. It's

0:30:07.120 --> 0:30:09.400
<v Speaker 5>what you want to be remembered by when you die.

0:30:09.520 --> 0:30:11.360
<v Speaker 5>I mean, it's like what people what you want people

0:30:11.360 --> 0:30:13.360
<v Speaker 5>to know you for. So there are things that can't

0:30:13.400 --> 0:30:15.080
<v Speaker 5>be checked off. They're usually things that you want to

0:30:15.080 --> 0:30:17.880
<v Speaker 5>pursue for most of their life, things like integrity, or

0:30:18.080 --> 0:30:22.040
<v Speaker 5>a sense of adventure, or community or spirituality. You know,

0:30:22.200 --> 0:30:25.080
<v Speaker 5>these types of things are examples of common values.

0:30:25.320 --> 0:30:26.040
<v Speaker 1>And I feel like.

0:30:26.000 --> 0:30:30.600
<v Speaker 5>If everybody reshifted and focus on what their values are

0:30:30.960 --> 0:30:35.000
<v Speaker 5>and then derive their goals from their values, not only

0:30:35.040 --> 0:30:38.080
<v Speaker 5>will they find the goal pursue more fulfilling, but they

0:30:38.160 --> 0:30:40.959
<v Speaker 5>might also be willing to take more chances and like

0:30:41.160 --> 0:30:43.920
<v Speaker 5>tolerate the discomfort, whether it's just your negative self talk

0:30:44.040 --> 0:30:47.160
<v Speaker 5>or like you know, like negative emotions because you're like wait,

0:30:47.200 --> 0:30:49.560
<v Speaker 5>but it's in the service of something really important. So,

0:30:49.880 --> 0:30:52.880
<v Speaker 5>for example, if one of your values was honesty, you're

0:30:52.920 --> 0:30:54.920
<v Speaker 5>not going to have an easy road. You know, sometimes

0:30:54.920 --> 0:30:56.600
<v Speaker 5>when you're honest with people, they get mad at you

0:30:56.760 --> 0:30:59.480
<v Speaker 5>and they stop being your friends. But it's in your

0:30:59.520 --> 0:31:02.360
<v Speaker 5>heart you believe that honesty is really important to you,

0:31:02.560 --> 0:31:05.520
<v Speaker 5>then you're more willing to like withstand the distress that

0:31:05.640 --> 0:31:07.200
<v Speaker 5>might come from it. So I feel like that might

0:31:07.240 --> 0:31:09.240
<v Speaker 5>be a really good way for loved ones to like

0:31:09.360 --> 0:31:12.360
<v Speaker 5>help the people that they care about see like something

0:31:12.480 --> 0:31:14.880
<v Speaker 5>different from the kind of thought patterns that they've been in.

0:31:15.800 --> 0:31:18.480
<v Speaker 2>Yeah that makes sense. Yeah, absolutely, What about the people

0:31:18.520 --> 0:31:20.239
<v Speaker 2>like I do this and I know I do this.

0:31:21.000 --> 0:31:22.560
<v Speaker 2>There are so many times and I'm like, I know

0:31:22.600 --> 0:31:25.560
<v Speaker 2>I'm holding myself back. Yeah, I don't know how to

0:31:25.560 --> 0:31:25.959
<v Speaker 2>fix it.

0:31:26.760 --> 0:31:29.560
<v Speaker 5>Yes, I think that that is really common that you

0:31:29.600 --> 0:31:32.440
<v Speaker 5>have that acknowledgment like huh, I'm holding myself back, but like,

0:31:32.720 --> 0:31:34.280
<v Speaker 5>how come I can't get out of it? I think

0:31:34.280 --> 0:31:36.080
<v Speaker 5>that's Yeah, that's part of why I wrote this book

0:31:36.080 --> 0:31:38.400
<v Speaker 5>because people keep saying that, like I'm so frustrated, like

0:31:38.440 --> 0:31:41.440
<v Speaker 5>we need a plan, and so I think the plan

0:31:41.720 --> 0:31:44.720
<v Speaker 5>is always to be able to like check out what

0:31:44.840 --> 0:31:47.560
<v Speaker 5>thoughts you had before you had that feeling of like

0:31:47.640 --> 0:31:50.440
<v Speaker 5>I'm holding myself back, Like once you recognize I know

0:31:50.440 --> 0:31:52.480
<v Speaker 5>I'm holding myself back, but why is it? Like what

0:31:52.520 --> 0:31:54.480
<v Speaker 5>was your thinking before that? Like what was the thought

0:31:54.520 --> 0:31:56.720
<v Speaker 5>that you had just before that? Was it? Well, I

0:31:56.760 --> 0:31:59.040
<v Speaker 5>don't want people to criticize me. Well, I don't want

0:31:59.040 --> 0:32:00.840
<v Speaker 5>to be like a note of know it all and

0:32:00.920 --> 0:32:03.040
<v Speaker 5>show off. I feel like people might not be happy

0:32:03.040 --> 0:32:06.000
<v Speaker 5>for my success, like what was the thought that preceded it.

0:32:06.000 --> 0:32:09.400
<v Speaker 2>It's only like when I'm like, when I'm acting or

0:32:09.400 --> 0:32:11.520
<v Speaker 2>something a cintimes, I'll be like, why don't I just

0:32:11.640 --> 0:32:14.160
<v Speaker 2>let myself? Like I know I'm holding west Like I

0:32:14.240 --> 0:32:16.360
<v Speaker 2>know I am, like, I know that I'm getting in

0:32:16.440 --> 0:32:19.080
<v Speaker 2>the way of my job, but I'm like, but I

0:32:19.120 --> 0:32:21.680
<v Speaker 2>still can't let go. And I don't know if it's

0:32:21.680 --> 0:32:25.520
<v Speaker 2>because I'm afraid to feel, if I'm afraid to do you.

0:32:25.400 --> 0:32:27.800
<v Speaker 1>Want to dive into that, because I would love to hear,

0:32:27.840 --> 0:32:29.520
<v Speaker 1>like what you're how you're holding yourself back?

0:32:29.840 --> 0:32:33.080
<v Speaker 2>I mean because John always tells me, He's like, why

0:32:33.080 --> 0:32:35.520
<v Speaker 2>do you use Like if you let go, you would

0:32:35.520 --> 0:32:38.600
<v Speaker 2>book NonStop And I will start crying immediately because I'm like,

0:32:38.640 --> 0:32:40.840
<v Speaker 2>I but I'm like, I know that, but I don't

0:32:40.880 --> 0:32:44.200
<v Speaker 2>know how to let go. That's the thing. I don't

0:32:44.240 --> 0:32:46.160
<v Speaker 2>know what that piece is. I don't know if it's fear.

0:32:46.240 --> 0:32:47.920
<v Speaker 2>I don't know if I'm afraid of feeling. I don't

0:32:47.920 --> 0:32:51.560
<v Speaker 2>know if I'm afraid of like, I don't know. I'd like,

0:32:51.640 --> 0:32:53.840
<v Speaker 2>I genuinely don't know, and I know it like every

0:32:53.840 --> 0:32:55.880
<v Speaker 2>time I'm even like auditioning, I'm like, I know, I'm

0:32:55.920 --> 0:32:58.080
<v Speaker 2>like holding myself back right now, and I'm like, why

0:32:58.120 --> 0:33:00.240
<v Speaker 2>am I doing this to myself? But I can out

0:33:00.480 --> 0:33:03.200
<v Speaker 2>physically let go, And the times that I have, I've

0:33:03.200 --> 0:33:05.320
<v Speaker 2>done it maybe twice. Remember when I was on a

0:33:05.560 --> 0:33:08.400
<v Speaker 2>tree hill and I baled afterwards because I was just

0:33:08.440 --> 0:33:10.440
<v Speaker 2>like it was such a I just and I don't

0:33:10.520 --> 0:33:13.840
<v Speaker 2>know why. I don't know. I literally don't.

0:33:13.640 --> 0:33:14.200
<v Speaker 1>Have the answer.

0:33:15.520 --> 0:33:17.560
<v Speaker 5>It's actually say, I'm glad that Mike asked you to

0:33:17.600 --> 0:33:19.600
<v Speaker 5>dive into it more because it kind of gives some

0:33:19.720 --> 0:33:21.400
<v Speaker 5>context to it, and I think we have to kind

0:33:21.400 --> 0:33:23.920
<v Speaker 5>of shift back to that whole life acronym and see

0:33:24.120 --> 0:33:26.479
<v Speaker 5>what is really getting in the way there. And as

0:33:26.520 --> 0:33:28.480
<v Speaker 5>I'm hearing you talk about it, it almost feels a

0:33:28.520 --> 0:33:32.360
<v Speaker 5>little bit like that the E it stands for excessive

0:33:32.360 --> 0:33:34.560
<v Speaker 5>needs for control. I mean, these are like the overachievers,

0:33:34.600 --> 0:33:36.680
<v Speaker 5>you know, people who are like you know, they're I mean,

0:33:36.680 --> 0:33:38.920
<v Speaker 5>they've gotten where they are because they were in control,

0:33:39.040 --> 0:33:41.160
<v Speaker 5>like because that's what set them apart and it's what

0:33:41.360 --> 0:33:44.040
<v Speaker 5>made them achieve as much as they did. But also

0:33:44.280 --> 0:33:47.360
<v Speaker 5>that part of them can also hold themselves back, especially

0:33:47.400 --> 0:33:50.600
<v Speaker 5>in like a creative in a creative environment, Like that's

0:33:50.640 --> 0:33:53.240
<v Speaker 5>an actor. Like if you let it go, I mean,

0:33:53.280 --> 0:33:56.200
<v Speaker 5>like you're putting your whole self out there. You're so vulnerable,

0:33:57.000 --> 0:34:00.240
<v Speaker 5>and it's like almost that sense of like if I

0:34:00.320 --> 0:34:02.720
<v Speaker 5>let go of control, like what might happen? I mean, yes,

0:34:02.800 --> 0:34:05.880
<v Speaker 5>something amazing could happen, or maybe not, what if it

0:34:05.920 --> 0:34:08.080
<v Speaker 5>isn't good, or like what if somebody says something? And

0:34:08.160 --> 0:34:11.160
<v Speaker 5>like maybe those types of things could could potentially get

0:34:11.160 --> 0:34:13.080
<v Speaker 5>in the way of you doing something that you know

0:34:13.120 --> 0:34:15.120
<v Speaker 5>you have the capacity for. I mean, does that sound

0:34:15.200 --> 0:34:18.600
<v Speaker 5>like similar like something that you felt before?

0:34:18.880 --> 0:34:20.479
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, yeah, for sure.

0:34:21.120 --> 0:34:23.120
<v Speaker 1>So it's just kind of be purely fear based, right,

0:34:23.160 --> 0:34:24.680
<v Speaker 1>just self sabotaging in general.

0:34:25.480 --> 0:34:28.400
<v Speaker 5>Well, it's a good question because I always look at

0:34:28.400 --> 0:34:30.960
<v Speaker 5>self sabotage as a very universal phenomenon. Like when people

0:34:31.000 --> 0:34:33.600
<v Speaker 5>are like, oh, I don't self sabotage, I'm like, I

0:34:33.640 --> 0:34:36.520
<v Speaker 5>think everybody does sometimes, and then they'll find like maybe

0:34:36.520 --> 0:34:38.680
<v Speaker 5>one area of their life where they're holding themselves back,

0:34:38.719 --> 0:34:41.200
<v Speaker 5>like maybe it's not love, but it's their career, or

0:34:41.200 --> 0:34:44.279
<v Speaker 5>maybe it's not their career, but it's their diet, you know,

0:34:44.400 --> 0:34:46.520
<v Speaker 5>whatever it is. It's usually it's one or two areas.

0:34:46.520 --> 0:34:50.160
<v Speaker 5>Not everybody self sabotages everything, and in fact what nobody does,

0:34:50.520 --> 0:34:53.240
<v Speaker 5>and so it is in some ways fear based because

0:34:53.280 --> 0:34:56.879
<v Speaker 5>there is a very biological and evolutionary aspect of self

0:34:56.880 --> 0:34:59.640
<v Speaker 5>sabotage in my opinion, You know, when we think about

0:34:59.719 --> 0:35:01.799
<v Speaker 5>human being, like what's led to our survival is only

0:35:01.800 --> 0:35:05.320
<v Speaker 5>two things. It's either attaining rewards or avoiding threat, and

0:35:05.320 --> 0:35:07.200
<v Speaker 5>we kind of have to do both in balance, right,

0:35:07.239 --> 0:35:09.480
<v Speaker 5>we have to keep going for the rewards, but we

0:35:09.520 --> 0:35:12.120
<v Speaker 5>also have to avoid threats well. In our modern day

0:35:12.239 --> 0:35:14.920
<v Speaker 5>threat is not a saber tooth tiger. For most of us,

0:35:14.920 --> 0:35:17.279
<v Speaker 5>we're lucky enough that it's not a physical threat. But

0:35:17.320 --> 0:35:19.920
<v Speaker 5>it's more of like an emotional or psychological threat. It's

0:35:19.920 --> 0:35:21.759
<v Speaker 5>like the fear of failure, or like the fear that

0:35:21.800 --> 0:35:23.440
<v Speaker 5>you won't get to where you need to go, or

0:35:23.680 --> 0:35:25.960
<v Speaker 5>the fear that you might be ridiculed, or you know what,

0:35:26.000 --> 0:35:27.799
<v Speaker 5>if you try really hard and you still don't get

0:35:27.800 --> 0:35:29.359
<v Speaker 5>to your goal, then what does that mean about you

0:35:29.400 --> 0:35:31.719
<v Speaker 5>as a person. And those types of things when they

0:35:31.760 --> 0:35:36.160
<v Speaker 5>take over and when that switch happens where you prioritize

0:35:36.400 --> 0:35:40.600
<v Speaker 5>fear reduction more than attaining rewards. That's when you self sabotage.

0:35:41.239 --> 0:35:44.160
<v Speaker 2>Interesting, what's like, I mean, obviously the first step would

0:35:44.160 --> 0:35:49.879
<v Speaker 2>be to read your book, but in the immediate fix, Yes,

0:35:50.239 --> 0:35:50.640
<v Speaker 2>what is.

0:35:50.600 --> 0:35:53.920
<v Speaker 5>The first Well, I think the first thing you know

0:35:54.120 --> 0:35:57.120
<v Speaker 5>is again recognize that it's biological and universal, because if

0:35:57.120 --> 0:35:59.400
<v Speaker 5>you're like ashamed about it or you think is just

0:35:59.480 --> 0:36:02.200
<v Speaker 5>you are more likely not to tackle the problem. So like,

0:36:02.320 --> 0:36:04.600
<v Speaker 5>just know that and accept that everybody does it and

0:36:04.640 --> 0:36:07.360
<v Speaker 5>that you're not alone, so it's all good. And know

0:36:07.480 --> 0:36:08.960
<v Speaker 5>that there's a fix. You know, know that there is

0:36:09.000 --> 0:36:11.480
<v Speaker 5>a fix. I think that that's really the most important step.

0:36:11.680 --> 0:36:14.120
<v Speaker 5>And then the second step is to look at your thoughts.

0:36:14.200 --> 0:36:16.760
<v Speaker 5>You know, what are the thoughts that precede a negative

0:36:16.760 --> 0:36:19.399
<v Speaker 5>emotion or an action that you wish you didn't take

0:36:19.600 --> 0:36:22.160
<v Speaker 5>or when you didn't realize your self sabotage, Like what

0:36:22.200 --> 0:36:23.919
<v Speaker 5>was the thought that you had before that? And once

0:36:23.960 --> 0:36:27.440
<v Speaker 5>you locate that thought, you'll probably start to see patterns

0:36:27.480 --> 0:36:29.200
<v Speaker 5>to it that, like this thought has come up before.

0:36:29.600 --> 0:36:31.160
<v Speaker 5>Then you can start to work with it. And so

0:36:31.360 --> 0:36:34.000
<v Speaker 5>one thing that you can do after that is to

0:36:34.200 --> 0:36:37.520
<v Speaker 5>try to reshift your thinking. And so there's two ways

0:36:37.560 --> 0:36:39.200
<v Speaker 5>to reshift your thinking, and I talk about it in

0:36:39.239 --> 0:36:42.640
<v Speaker 5>my book, and one way to reshift it is to

0:36:42.880 --> 0:36:44.560
<v Speaker 5>try to have a more balanced thought. Most of the

0:36:44.600 --> 0:36:47.920
<v Speaker 5>signs are automatic thoughts are very like critical and that

0:36:48.040 --> 0:36:50.279
<v Speaker 5>they only look at one side of the picture. So

0:36:50.760 --> 0:36:53.080
<v Speaker 5>there's a really quick technique that I have called yes

0:36:53.160 --> 0:36:56.000
<v Speaker 5>but and it means that you acknowledge the happy part

0:36:56.000 --> 0:36:59.239
<v Speaker 5>of this situation, but you also acknowledge this other thing

0:36:59.280 --> 0:37:02.480
<v Speaker 5>that you know you're already making progress, that you're already

0:37:02.480 --> 0:37:05.840
<v Speaker 5>doing something to improve. So for example, you know, somebody,

0:37:06.040 --> 0:37:08.600
<v Speaker 5>you know, somebody that I was working with in my

0:37:09.560 --> 0:37:11.520
<v Speaker 5>private practice, was saying that they don't think that they're

0:37:11.560 --> 0:37:14.360
<v Speaker 5>ever going to reach their fitness goals. And then you

0:37:14.400 --> 0:37:16.319
<v Speaker 5>know they're like, I'm never going to reach my fitness goals.

0:37:16.320 --> 0:37:18.359
<v Speaker 5>I'm like, well that is a very black and white thought,

0:37:18.400 --> 0:37:20.040
<v Speaker 5>So like, how can we change is to recognize how

0:37:20.080 --> 0:37:22.520
<v Speaker 5>you feel, but like also recognize what you're doing, So

0:37:22.600 --> 0:37:25.280
<v Speaker 5>then you change the thought too. Yes, this is taking

0:37:25.360 --> 0:37:27.840
<v Speaker 5>much longer than I thought it was, but I'm making

0:37:27.880 --> 0:37:30.759
<v Speaker 5>progress every day. Case in point, today I went for

0:37:30.800 --> 0:37:33.160
<v Speaker 5>a run for thirty minutes before I came to the session, right,

0:37:33.200 --> 0:37:36.000
<v Speaker 5>I mean, so it's almost like saying yes to the

0:37:36.040 --> 0:37:38.960
<v Speaker 5>part that isn't so great right now, but also saying,

0:37:39.760 --> 0:37:42.080
<v Speaker 5>but what is better? You know what has been shifting,

0:37:42.120 --> 0:37:44.640
<v Speaker 5>and just recognizing that and that balanced thought will just

0:37:44.719 --> 0:37:47.120
<v Speaker 5>change the way that you feel. But sometimes it's just

0:37:47.160 --> 0:37:48.880
<v Speaker 5>in such a crappy mood that you're not even going

0:37:48.960 --> 0:37:50.279
<v Speaker 5>to want to do the yes butt You're like, I

0:37:50.400 --> 0:37:52.080
<v Speaker 5>know the yes, but but I can do it and

0:37:52.120 --> 0:37:55.239
<v Speaker 5>my heart's not in it, and that's fine. Sometimes you

0:37:55.280 --> 0:37:58.120
<v Speaker 5>can change the thoughts, but you can change your relationship

0:37:58.160 --> 0:38:01.160
<v Speaker 5>to it. So oftentimes we have a and we automatically

0:38:01.160 --> 0:38:03.200
<v Speaker 5>think it's true because that's like the power of thoughts,

0:38:03.400 --> 0:38:04.560
<v Speaker 5>Like you have it and you're like, oh my god,

0:38:04.600 --> 0:38:07.480
<v Speaker 5>it's happening, you know. So what I encourage people to

0:38:07.480 --> 0:38:11.280
<v Speaker 5>do is to use a technique called labeling. And labeling

0:38:11.440 --> 0:38:13.880
<v Speaker 5>just means that you're labeling the thought just as it is.

0:38:13.920 --> 0:38:15.879
<v Speaker 5>It's all it is is a mental event. It's just

0:38:15.960 --> 0:38:18.600
<v Speaker 5>an event. It's not saying that's true or not. So

0:38:18.840 --> 0:38:21.400
<v Speaker 5>if you have a thought, for example, like oh my gosh,

0:38:21.480 --> 0:38:24.839
<v Speaker 5>I'm never going to find a better job. Instead of

0:38:25.120 --> 0:38:27.120
<v Speaker 5>just leaving that thought as it is or even trying

0:38:27.120 --> 0:38:30.080
<v Speaker 5>to change it, one alternate way to do this is

0:38:30.200 --> 0:38:33.280
<v Speaker 5>just to put a little just tack a little sentence

0:38:33.320 --> 0:38:36.840
<v Speaker 5>before that, and that sentence is I'm having the thought that,

0:38:37.640 --> 0:38:40.680
<v Speaker 5>So then that becomes I'm having the thought that I'm

0:38:40.680 --> 0:38:43.080
<v Speaker 5>never going to find a better job, and it does

0:38:43.200 --> 0:38:45.400
<v Speaker 5>take the win out of the sales a little bit

0:38:45.400 --> 0:38:47.400
<v Speaker 5>of that original thought like, oh, I'm just having a

0:38:47.440 --> 0:38:49.600
<v Speaker 5>thought that that's happening, doesn't mean that it is, you know,

0:38:49.680 --> 0:38:52.960
<v Speaker 5>and even that small, little quick substitution can really help people.

0:38:53.920 --> 0:38:57.960
<v Speaker 1>Absolutely, And do you mentioned the whole the life acronym.

0:38:57.960 --> 0:38:59.520
<v Speaker 1>And I have one last question for you. Is there

0:38:59.560 --> 0:39:03.280
<v Speaker 1>any kind kind of test or evaluation that just anyone

0:39:03.280 --> 0:39:04.880
<v Speaker 1>could take to be like, all right, what kind of

0:39:04.880 --> 0:39:06.280
<v Speaker 1>sabotaging am I doing?

0:39:07.440 --> 0:39:09.520
<v Speaker 5>Yes, there is. So I actually have this up on

0:39:09.560 --> 0:39:12.880
<v Speaker 5>my website and it's free to take. And my website

0:39:12.920 --> 0:39:19.080
<v Speaker 5>is doctor judyho dot com and the actual website link

0:39:19.800 --> 0:39:23.680
<v Speaker 5>for the quiz it's doctorg dot com and then it's

0:39:23.760 --> 0:39:27.880
<v Speaker 5>backplast stop self Sabotage quiz and so definitely go and

0:39:27.960 --> 0:39:30.239
<v Speaker 5>check it out. So quiz takes like five minutes and

0:39:30.680 --> 0:39:33.600
<v Speaker 5>you can identify your primary life factor right there and

0:39:33.600 --> 0:39:34.840
<v Speaker 5>then know how to move forward from.

0:39:34.680 --> 0:39:38.120
<v Speaker 1>There perfect well, Jane and I are definitely probably going

0:39:38.200 --> 0:39:38.920
<v Speaker 1>to do that today.

0:39:39.080 --> 0:39:39.400
<v Speaker 2>Thank you.

0:39:39.600 --> 0:39:42.399
<v Speaker 1>And besides your website, where else can our listeners find you?

0:39:43.280 --> 0:39:45.640
<v Speaker 5>Well, you can find me on social media on Instagram

0:39:45.719 --> 0:39:48.279
<v Speaker 5>and Twitter at doctor Judy host. So that's d R

0:39:48.800 --> 0:39:51.239
<v Speaker 5>j U d y h O. And I just want

0:39:51.280 --> 0:39:54.000
<v Speaker 5>to encourage everybody to start watching season twelve of The Doctors.

0:39:54.040 --> 0:39:56.279
<v Speaker 5>I'm a co host for season twelve and we got

0:39:56.560 --> 0:39:58.839
<v Speaker 5>really cool topics coming up. Yeah, yay.

0:39:59.280 --> 0:40:02.000
<v Speaker 2>I love the Doctor. I was on there when I

0:40:02.040 --> 0:40:04.200
<v Speaker 2>was pregnant last year. I was They're so sweet.

0:40:04.880 --> 0:40:07.200
<v Speaker 5>Oh, I know, there's like a delight to work with.

0:40:07.239 --> 0:40:09.879
<v Speaker 5>It's crazy. It's like you get exactly what you see.

0:40:09.880 --> 0:40:11.320
<v Speaker 5>They're really amazing people.

0:40:11.520 --> 0:40:14.319
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I love them. Well, congratulations and again, seriously, thank

0:40:14.360 --> 0:40:17.240
<v Speaker 2>you so much. This has been eye opening.

0:40:17.440 --> 0:40:18.160
<v Speaker 1>It has been.

0:40:18.280 --> 0:40:20.479
<v Speaker 5>Oh it's been a real plague of talking to you guys,

0:40:20.480 --> 0:40:22.160
<v Speaker 5>and I hope to keep in touch with you both.

0:40:22.600 --> 0:40:24.839
<v Speaker 1>Absolutely. Thank you, Doctor Judy, appreciate it.

0:40:24.840 --> 0:40:25.239
<v Speaker 2>Thank you.

0:40:25.800 --> 0:40:26.719
<v Speaker 5>Okay, talk to you I soon.

0:40:26.880 --> 0:40:27.840
<v Speaker 1>Bye, all right, bye.

0:40:27.680 --> 0:40:41.040
<v Speaker 2>Bye bye, Mark Easton, Jenna, Janna, Where are you guys

0:40:41.040 --> 0:40:43.600
<v Speaker 2>holding back in your life? Where are you self sabotaging?

0:40:43.960 --> 0:40:46.359
<v Speaker 3>I've thought of this, I mean professionally, things have gone

0:40:46.440 --> 0:40:48.160
<v Speaker 3>well for me, but there are all kinds of things

0:40:48.320 --> 0:40:50.319
<v Speaker 3>I would have liked to have done in my life,

0:40:50.360 --> 0:40:52.360
<v Speaker 3>and the fact that I speak of it that way

0:40:53.239 --> 0:40:54.759
<v Speaker 3>is a form of self test sabotage.

0:40:55.719 --> 0:40:57.160
<v Speaker 2>Like I'm not you still have time.

0:40:57.640 --> 0:40:59.759
<v Speaker 3>I don't have to say, oh I could have been there,

0:41:00.000 --> 0:41:01.440
<v Speaker 3>I could have done this. I could still go out

0:41:01.480 --> 0:41:04.560
<v Speaker 3>and do those things. But I don't see myself doing that.

0:41:05.680 --> 0:41:10.960
<v Speaker 3>Why not because I'm comfortable, you know what I'm saying, Like, like,

0:41:11.040 --> 0:41:15.480
<v Speaker 3>I got my routine, I enjoy my job, I'm paid well,

0:41:15.840 --> 0:41:18.879
<v Speaker 3>Like I feel like this is I feel like I'm

0:41:19.200 --> 0:41:21.239
<v Speaker 3>a comfort level, like this is it. But then I think, oh,

0:41:21.280 --> 0:41:23.080
<v Speaker 3>that'd be so cool to do that, But like, do

0:41:23.120 --> 0:41:25.440
<v Speaker 3>you really jump from something that's working?

0:41:25.480 --> 0:41:26.920
<v Speaker 2>Like what? Like what would you want to know?

0:41:27.080 --> 0:41:28.920
<v Speaker 3>I've always wanted to do baseball. I've always wanted to

0:41:28.920 --> 0:41:31.080
<v Speaker 3>do play by play baseball on the radio.

0:41:31.320 --> 0:41:33.080
<v Speaker 2>Oh, I thought you meant like professionally, I'm.

0:41:32.880 --> 0:41:40.239
<v Speaker 3>Like, Mark, I've always wanted to be a baseball announcer,

0:41:40.280 --> 0:41:41.640
<v Speaker 3>and I think i'd be really good at it, but

0:41:41.760 --> 0:41:42.759
<v Speaker 3>you'd be so wait let.

0:41:42.680 --> 0:41:45.320
<v Speaker 2>Me hear, Okay, Mark, this is your audition for a

0:41:45.360 --> 0:41:47.520
<v Speaker 2>baseball announcing six.

0:41:48.920 --> 0:41:51.520
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, there you go go ahead. Let me hear swinging

0:41:51.520 --> 0:41:53.239
<v Speaker 3>the ground all the short for the second for one

0:41:53.320 --> 0:41:55.439
<v Speaker 3>off the first. It's a double play. That's what I meant.

0:41:55.960 --> 0:41:58.239
<v Speaker 1>Absolutely, it's perfect at it.

0:41:58.239 --> 0:42:00.560
<v Speaker 3>It's it's always going in my head. I'm watching a

0:42:00.560 --> 0:42:01.200
<v Speaker 3>baseball game.

0:42:02.040 --> 0:42:04.440
<v Speaker 1>How you would how you would kind of come yeah.

0:42:04.920 --> 0:42:07.360
<v Speaker 2>So let's do it. I mean, why can't you do both?

0:42:07.800 --> 0:42:11.200
<v Speaker 3>I mean there's there's because I think that involves climbing

0:42:11.200 --> 0:42:13.799
<v Speaker 3>a ladder like any other job. I have zero experience

0:42:13.840 --> 0:42:17.920
<v Speaker 3>doing it. So I'd have to move to I don't know, Birmingham,

0:42:17.960 --> 0:42:22.920
<v Speaker 3>Alabama or in West Virginia and start there and climb

0:42:22.920 --> 0:42:23.840
<v Speaker 3>the minor league ladder.

0:42:23.840 --> 0:42:25.120
<v Speaker 1>And I'm not doing that. I got kids.

0:42:25.120 --> 0:42:26.080
<v Speaker 2>But you got Seacrest.

0:42:26.560 --> 0:42:27.240
<v Speaker 3>I got Seacrest.

0:42:27.560 --> 0:42:29.640
<v Speaker 2>Couldn't he help you out? Can he make a few calls?

0:42:30.080 --> 0:42:32.839
<v Speaker 2>I mean you have to also, you know, use your

0:42:32.880 --> 0:42:33.759
<v Speaker 2>context you have.

0:42:34.400 --> 0:42:35.399
<v Speaker 3>Yes, yes, that's true.

0:42:36.200 --> 0:42:37.440
<v Speaker 1>It's still different worlds.

0:42:37.800 --> 0:42:39.680
<v Speaker 2>I understand that, but it's.

0:42:39.560 --> 0:42:42.080
<v Speaker 3>Still I think that Will just have to have made

0:42:42.120 --> 0:42:43.160
<v Speaker 3>a dream.

0:42:43.520 --> 0:42:44.799
<v Speaker 2>See that's what bothers me.

0:42:45.000 --> 0:42:50.040
<v Speaker 1>But but I think mark mark dream is very similar

0:42:50.080 --> 0:42:53.040
<v Speaker 1>to what I, Yes, what I'd love to do sports

0:42:53.040 --> 0:42:56.120
<v Speaker 1>casting A that'd be fantastic, but it's the same kind

0:42:56.120 --> 0:42:58.560
<v Speaker 1>of deal you'd have to start out we're commentating the game.

0:42:58.640 --> 0:43:02.279
<v Speaker 1>Guess what I'll begin in the garbage games? You know,

0:43:02.480 --> 0:43:04.120
<v Speaker 1>d two games somewhere somewhere.

0:43:04.120 --> 0:43:05.160
<v Speaker 2>How would be you sound right?

0:43:05.280 --> 0:43:07.160
<v Speaker 1>But we have but we have two young kids. That

0:43:07.239 --> 0:43:11.520
<v Speaker 1>means traveling during the fall to traveling every weekend.

0:43:11.600 --> 0:43:13.719
<v Speaker 2>If it's your dream and what you want to do,

0:43:13.840 --> 0:43:16.000
<v Speaker 2>you can't You're not going to be Meryl Streep tomorrow,

0:43:16.520 --> 0:43:17.160
<v Speaker 2>you know what I mean?

0:43:17.520 --> 0:43:19.920
<v Speaker 3>Would you be fine with Michael being gone Thursday, no,

0:43:20.320 --> 0:43:22.080
<v Speaker 3>Sunday or Monday every single week.

0:43:21.960 --> 0:43:24.759
<v Speaker 2>If it's something if look at he what he said

0:43:24.760 --> 0:43:26.160
<v Speaker 2>when he retired, He's like, I want to be a

0:43:26.160 --> 0:43:29.719
<v Speaker 2>police officer. And I said, whatever you want to do

0:43:29.760 --> 0:43:32.480
<v Speaker 2>that will make you happy? Sure what, I love him

0:43:32.480 --> 0:43:34.000
<v Speaker 2>doing shift work. No, I mean it would really suck

0:43:34.040 --> 0:43:35.360
<v Speaker 2>for the family. But at the same time, if it

0:43:35.360 --> 0:43:37.440
<v Speaker 2>would make him happy, I'm not going to like be

0:43:37.520 --> 0:43:39.720
<v Speaker 2>moping around the house if it's something that he truly

0:43:39.760 --> 0:43:42.000
<v Speaker 2>wants to do. And he was like, so he went

0:43:42.040 --> 0:43:45.799
<v Speaker 2>to the the orientation to be a cop, you.

0:43:45.760 --> 0:43:48.560
<v Speaker 1>Know, and he he ended up with the ultimate goal

0:43:48.600 --> 0:43:49.800
<v Speaker 1>of going into the FBI.

0:43:50.000 --> 0:43:52.720
<v Speaker 2>But and that's something where you know, I was totally

0:43:52.719 --> 0:43:55.480
<v Speaker 2>behind him because I just I want him so badly

0:43:55.640 --> 0:43:58.480
<v Speaker 2>to do what he wants to do and love what

0:43:58.560 --> 0:43:59.200
<v Speaker 2>he wants to do.

0:43:59.640 --> 0:44:01.640
<v Speaker 1>Well, look, those dreams are gone because I can't be

0:44:01.640 --> 0:44:03.440
<v Speaker 1>a secret agent when all of our life is already

0:44:03.440 --> 0:44:05.840
<v Speaker 1>out there and publicized, so I can't. I can't do

0:44:05.920 --> 0:44:06.400
<v Speaker 1>that anyway.

0:44:06.760 --> 0:44:07.799
<v Speaker 2>I'm the reason why I.

0:44:07.800 --> 0:44:09.839
<v Speaker 3>Dreams you'd be a great color commentator.

0:44:10.400 --> 0:44:12.960
<v Speaker 2>I think you would be amazing at sports broadcasting. I

0:44:13.000 --> 0:44:15.000
<v Speaker 2>think you'd be incredible. And there's so many things where

0:44:15.000 --> 0:44:16.680
<v Speaker 2>it's like and I'm like, yeah, you're not going to

0:44:16.760 --> 0:44:19.960
<v Speaker 2>go to you know, the top one right away. You're

0:44:20.000 --> 0:44:21.960
<v Speaker 2>not going to be freaking right.

0:44:21.840 --> 0:44:25.400
<v Speaker 1>But I also know this. It isn't just messed up myself.

0:44:25.440 --> 0:44:28.279
<v Speaker 1>It's also because I don't want to necessarily be away

0:44:28.280 --> 0:44:31.799
<v Speaker 1>from the kids, like like Mark said, Thursday probably till

0:44:31.840 --> 0:44:36.240
<v Speaker 1>Sunday morning every single week during the fall, like literally

0:44:36.320 --> 0:44:38.040
<v Speaker 1>that that's how it have to be, because I would

0:44:38.080 --> 0:44:40.160
<v Speaker 1>be on the road from Thursday to Sunday every single

0:44:40.200 --> 0:44:43.719
<v Speaker 1>week during the fall and if summer beginning through the fall,

0:44:43.800 --> 0:44:45.799
<v Speaker 1>because I would have to be doing these games all

0:44:45.800 --> 0:44:48.560
<v Speaker 1>over the country. Yeah. So it's like, do I do

0:44:48.680 --> 0:44:51.000
<v Speaker 1>I personally want to be away from my family that much?

0:44:51.160 --> 0:44:54.040
<v Speaker 2>I mean, I get that. Yeah, I get that. And

0:44:54.200 --> 0:44:55.600
<v Speaker 2>that is exactly what I was gonna say, is like

0:44:56.280 --> 0:44:59.920
<v Speaker 2>I don't enjoy touring anymore because I'm away from you guys.

0:44:59.800 --> 0:45:03.560
<v Speaker 1>Right, and so we can bring the whole family on

0:45:03.600 --> 0:45:05.920
<v Speaker 1>the bus, liked Jolie early on.

0:45:06.000 --> 0:45:07.600
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, And it takes the fun away from it. And

0:45:07.600 --> 0:45:09.960
<v Speaker 2>then I'm like, I'm miserable. I have fun when I'm

0:45:09.960 --> 0:45:12.479
<v Speaker 2>playing my show, but I'm miserable in my bus sitting

0:45:12.480 --> 0:45:14.439
<v Speaker 2>there all day, you know, missing my family.

0:45:14.239 --> 0:45:14.880
<v Speaker 1>Right exactly.

0:45:14.960 --> 0:45:17.680
<v Speaker 3>So, Mike, it sounds like, I mean, it's something you

0:45:17.680 --> 0:45:20.240
<v Speaker 3>would enjoy doing, but it sounds like the negatives outeigh

0:45:20.239 --> 0:45:22.880
<v Speaker 3>the positives at this point.

0:45:22.960 --> 0:45:27.480
<v Speaker 2>Yes, unless he is on like Game day. Yeah, and

0:45:27.520 --> 0:45:30.839
<v Speaker 2>that's what I call from Fox Sports and the Yeah,

0:45:31.360 --> 0:45:32.480
<v Speaker 2>which again.

0:45:32.480 --> 0:45:34.600
<v Speaker 1>Come sit with Howie Long and the Terry Bradshaw and

0:45:34.600 --> 0:45:37.160
<v Speaker 1>the rest of the crew. Sure, I guess I can

0:45:37.200 --> 0:45:37.480
<v Speaker 1>do that.

0:45:41.440 --> 0:45:43.399
<v Speaker 2>I heard Torri it would be good.

0:45:43.520 --> 0:45:45.600
<v Speaker 3>I mean, that's the thing is she'd be so good here.

0:45:46.040 --> 0:45:47.879
<v Speaker 3>You're funny, You've got a good voice.

0:45:47.680 --> 0:45:50.319
<v Speaker 2>You know, And I get that he's not, you know,

0:45:50.920 --> 0:45:53.319
<v Speaker 2>I mean the guys that I'm sure Andrew luck is

0:45:53.320 --> 0:45:54.680
<v Speaker 2>going to be the next dude sitting.

0:45:54.480 --> 0:45:57.480
<v Speaker 1>There, but he doesn't have the person that I'm just.

0:45:57.440 --> 0:46:00.440
<v Speaker 2>Saying, like, those guys will get that opportunity first. The

0:46:00.480 --> 0:46:01.280
<v Speaker 2>same time.

0:46:02.160 --> 0:46:04.640
<v Speaker 1>Walked straight off the field into a booth. Tony Romo

0:46:04.680 --> 0:46:06.000
<v Speaker 1>struck straight off the field.

0:46:06.640 --> 0:46:11.279
<v Speaker 2>Somehow to Seacrest. So you've got Seacrest to but we

0:46:11.400 --> 0:46:16.400
<v Speaker 2>got Seacrest. Oh lord.

0:46:18.560 --> 0:46:21.319
<v Speaker 1>I have some emails if you'd like, or we have

0:46:21.400 --> 0:46:22.920
<v Speaker 1>one thing we want to bring up though.

0:46:23.040 --> 0:46:24.080
<v Speaker 2>We put time out before that.

0:46:24.120 --> 0:46:24.279
<v Speaker 1>Though.

0:46:24.320 --> 0:46:26.120
<v Speaker 2>We are going on a wine down tour, which we're

0:46:26.200 --> 0:46:28.919
<v Speaker 2>very excited about, and you can get your tickets Jana

0:46:28.920 --> 0:46:37.200
<v Speaker 2>Cramer dot com. We're going to Chicago, Michigan, Louisville, filled Up, Pennsylvania, Philadelphia, Boston.

0:46:37.560 --> 0:46:39.000
<v Speaker 2>Are we going to Boston and that was last year?

0:46:39.040 --> 0:46:39.360
<v Speaker 1>I don't know.

0:46:39.440 --> 0:46:41.160
<v Speaker 2>Just go on Jana Cremer dot com. We're coming to

0:46:41.239 --> 0:46:42.560
<v Speaker 2>you see you. We're so excited.

0:46:43.480 --> 0:46:43.880
<v Speaker 3>The brewery.

0:46:44.760 --> 0:46:48.239
<v Speaker 2>Oh yeah, we're coming there on Saturday. Stry I'm so.

0:46:48.200 --> 0:46:50.040
<v Speaker 3>Excited Irwindale Brewery.

0:46:51.280 --> 0:46:53.839
<v Speaker 2>I'm so pumped about that. I'm so excited to see you.

0:46:54.480 --> 0:46:55.920
<v Speaker 2>I know, I'm excited to see you too. I texted

0:46:55.920 --> 0:46:58.880
<v Speaker 2>Toy yesterday and I was I'm so excited to see you.

0:46:59.120 --> 0:47:02.440
<v Speaker 2>She's like, I'm I'm hosting. I have my wine glass,

0:47:02.640 --> 0:47:05.200
<v Speaker 2>I'm ready to roll. I did. I was super pumped,

0:47:05.239 --> 0:47:06.160
<v Speaker 2>and I'm super pumped.

0:47:06.480 --> 0:47:08.200
<v Speaker 1>It's gonna be so much fun. We're gonna have a blast.

0:47:08.280 --> 0:47:09.720
<v Speaker 2>It's gonna be fun. It's gonna be so much fun.

0:47:12.080 --> 0:47:15.600
<v Speaker 1>Real quick. Yeah, So we promised what do we promise

0:47:15.719 --> 0:47:16.320
<v Speaker 1>the listeners?

0:47:16.600 --> 0:47:17.200
<v Speaker 2>The listeners?

0:47:17.400 --> 0:47:21.319
<v Speaker 1>Oh yeah, so we mentioned to the listeners that we

0:47:21.320 --> 0:47:24.000
<v Speaker 1>were going to sit that you forgot it. I've been waiting.

0:47:24.160 --> 0:47:27.680
<v Speaker 2>It's called the five minute breakdown, okay, of.

0:47:27.600 --> 0:47:32.000
<v Speaker 1>A new segment that we're going to be doing every week. Yeah,

0:47:32.239 --> 0:47:36.560
<v Speaker 1>we have homework. Every week is the five minute breakdown

0:47:36.800 --> 0:47:39.080
<v Speaker 1>of the One Tree Hill episode that we just watched.

0:47:39.239 --> 0:47:43.719
<v Speaker 2>So I've we have never I've never seen One Tree Hill.

0:47:44.520 --> 0:47:48.239
<v Speaker 2>Michael's never seen One Tree Hill. And from being on

0:47:48.280 --> 0:47:51.600
<v Speaker 2>the show for three years, I feel quite bad that

0:47:51.640 --> 0:47:54.160
<v Speaker 2>I've never even watched an episode the.

0:47:54.160 --> 0:47:58.560
<v Speaker 1>Best Have any of you watched it? Tory Easton, No Business?

0:47:59.120 --> 0:47:59.600
<v Speaker 1>Love it?

0:47:59.680 --> 0:48:04.520
<v Speaker 2>Okay, So we're yesterday, Okay, sorry.

0:48:03.080 --> 0:48:07.799
<v Speaker 1>So we started the first episode okay, and I don't

0:48:07.840 --> 0:48:10.719
<v Speaker 1>remember the actors' names. I know Chad Michael Murray, but

0:48:10.719 --> 0:48:13.680
<v Speaker 1>then the other one that plays Nathan Scott, Nathan Scott,

0:48:13.840 --> 0:48:15.080
<v Speaker 1>Lucas Scott, Nathan Scott.

0:48:15.640 --> 0:48:19.000
<v Speaker 6>So by the way that the show starts, the show

0:48:19.040 --> 0:48:22.000
<v Speaker 6>starts and they show Nathan Scott and Lucas Scott, and

0:48:22.040 --> 0:48:26.200
<v Speaker 6>then once you realize their brothers, Janna goes, wait, their brothers.

0:48:25.920 --> 0:48:32.560
<v Speaker 2>Had no idea that they were brothers. Lying, swear you're lying. No,

0:48:32.680 --> 0:48:37.520
<v Speaker 2>I swear the whole storyline. But I told you I

0:48:37.640 --> 0:48:41.640
<v Speaker 2>knew nothing about the show. When I got on the show,

0:48:41.840 --> 0:48:45.000
<v Speaker 2>I knew nothing, And I was like, they're brothers, Like

0:48:45.280 --> 0:48:47.840
<v Speaker 2>he would wipe out the back of his jersey because

0:48:47.840 --> 0:48:50.000
<v Speaker 2>their both names Scott, Well, we don't know.

0:48:53.719 --> 0:48:55.640
<v Speaker 1>So the whole team staring him down, like what up?

0:48:56.239 --> 0:48:56.560
<v Speaker 3>Wow?

0:48:56.640 --> 0:48:58.960
<v Speaker 2>So we've got three four more minutes left this talk.

0:48:59.239 --> 0:49:03.719
<v Speaker 2>So I was very shocked about that. Also, I'm when

0:49:03.719 --> 0:49:07.640
<v Speaker 2>he walks into the to the auditorium. Do you think

0:49:07.719 --> 0:49:13.000
<v Speaker 2>that James Lafferty's character was his name Nathan? Do you

0:49:13.040 --> 0:49:15.799
<v Speaker 2>think that Nathan called him? You know what I mean?

0:49:16.239 --> 0:49:19.399
<v Speaker 1>No, I don't think no, why not? I think because

0:49:20.640 --> 0:49:22.040
<v Speaker 1>Lucas realized he's a Baller.

0:49:23.000 --> 0:49:25.040
<v Speaker 2>It's just so weird because I know, like, I'm like Hailey,

0:49:25.200 --> 0:49:28.800
<v Speaker 2>why is Hailey, like, like what he shouldn't be dating

0:49:28.960 --> 0:49:32.759
<v Speaker 2>that other Peyton girl, Like he's married to Haley. It's

0:49:32.920 --> 0:49:44.239
<v Speaker 2>very interesting married. Sorry, no, it's a roller coaster to ride.

0:49:44.440 --> 0:49:48.200
<v Speaker 2>It's okay, So I'm And then what else happened in

0:49:48.200 --> 0:49:50.760
<v Speaker 2>the first episode? Moira Kelly who by the way Cutting

0:49:50.840 --> 0:49:54.120
<v Speaker 2>Edge she was played my mom and the Christmas Christmas movie.

0:49:54.120 --> 0:49:55.960
<v Speaker 2>I was just in had no idea that she was

0:49:56.040 --> 0:50:00.520
<v Speaker 2>the everyone always had Karen, so I was like Karen,

0:50:01.320 --> 0:50:03.920
<v Speaker 2>But now I know who Karen is. Karen's his mom.

0:50:04.440 --> 0:50:06.640
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, it starts the whole show.

0:50:07.960 --> 0:50:08.839
<v Speaker 2>It's fascinating.

0:50:09.239 --> 0:50:12.720
<v Speaker 1>What I think is fascinating to is when TV shows

0:50:13.960 --> 0:50:17.279
<v Speaker 1>do like sports games. I thought it was good, though

0:50:17.360 --> 0:50:20.160
<v Speaker 1>I was I was actually somewhat impressed because I was like,

0:50:20.280 --> 0:50:24.080
<v Speaker 1>usually it's a lot worse than that. Yeah, there's genuine

0:50:24.200 --> 0:50:27.279
<v Speaker 1>like athleticism on the court. It looked like but usually

0:50:27.320 --> 0:50:30.960
<v Speaker 1>because like the production is a lot smaller production budget

0:50:31.000 --> 0:50:32.680
<v Speaker 1>everything like that for like a TV show where it

0:50:32.760 --> 0:50:35.600
<v Speaker 1>just looks like a joke, like even from like Fresh

0:50:35.640 --> 0:50:38.520
<v Speaker 1>Prince of bel Air Days where when Will Smith's playing basketball.

0:50:38.520 --> 0:50:40.880
<v Speaker 1>The court, the full size court is the size of

0:50:40.960 --> 0:50:43.640
<v Speaker 1>like half of an actual basketball court, so it takes

0:50:43.680 --> 0:50:45.360
<v Speaker 1>like one step. He's already on the other side of

0:50:45.360 --> 0:50:47.640
<v Speaker 1>the court. Like it was ridiculous. It was like five

0:50:47.719 --> 0:50:48.560
<v Speaker 1>year olds played on it.

0:50:48.600 --> 0:50:50.560
<v Speaker 2>But when they played the game against each other, I

0:50:50.600 --> 0:50:52.759
<v Speaker 2>didn't know who was going to win. They won on

0:50:52.760 --> 0:50:53.919
<v Speaker 2>one game, they won a one game.

0:50:54.440 --> 0:50:56.719
<v Speaker 1>I truly I can'tnot have Lucas win.

0:50:57.239 --> 0:51:00.160
<v Speaker 2>I don't know, because it was almost like maybe he

0:51:00.200 --> 0:51:03.640
<v Speaker 2>was gonna let him win because.

0:51:03.560 --> 0:51:07.359
<v Speaker 1>That's my favorite character right now. After season one, episode one,

0:51:07.440 --> 0:51:09.240
<v Speaker 1>Lucas Scott is my favorite character.

0:51:09.600 --> 0:51:16.040
<v Speaker 2>Don't tell Sophia on the show ninety seconds for mad

0:51:16.320 --> 0:51:21.000
<v Speaker 2>ninety seconds. I don't know. She came on after the

0:51:21.040 --> 0:51:22.759
<v Speaker 2>next I think she's in the next episode because they

0:51:22.760 --> 0:51:24.560
<v Speaker 2>brought her and she originally wasn't in the pilot, but

0:51:24.560 --> 0:51:26.480
<v Speaker 2>then they wanted another female to come in and bruce

0:51:26.520 --> 0:51:27.960
<v Speaker 2>stuff up, and she brewed it up.

0:51:28.600 --> 0:51:29.000
<v Speaker 1>Got it.

0:51:29.120 --> 0:51:31.000
<v Speaker 2>We need to have her on eventually. I'd love to

0:51:31.040 --> 0:51:31.400
<v Speaker 2>have her on.

0:51:31.640 --> 0:51:31.879
<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

0:51:32.520 --> 0:51:35.120
<v Speaker 2>So so that was our five minute one to Tree

0:51:35.160 --> 0:51:35.960
<v Speaker 2>Hill wrap up.

0:51:36.000 --> 0:51:38.720
<v Speaker 3>There are one hundred and eighty seven episodes that you really.

0:51:38.520 --> 0:51:41.120
<v Speaker 1>Committing to watch it all Jane said last night. She

0:51:41.200 --> 0:51:43.439
<v Speaker 1>was like, because these episodes going.

0:51:43.320 --> 0:51:45.120
<v Speaker 2>Into it, thought, dude, twenty two episodes.

0:51:45.160 --> 0:51:47.520
<v Speaker 1>I thought the episodes were like thirty minutes. She's like, no,

0:51:47.640 --> 0:51:50.200
<v Speaker 1>there is an hour show, so they're like forty five minutes.

0:51:50.640 --> 0:51:55.000
<v Speaker 1>There's twenty something episodes in each season. There's nine seasons.

0:51:55.120 --> 0:51:57.680
<v Speaker 1>I'm like, good god, we're not watching anything for like

0:51:57.680 --> 0:52:00.000
<v Speaker 1>the next three months.

0:52:00.040 --> 0:52:01.200
<v Speaker 2>We just have to commit to more than that.

0:52:01.440 --> 0:52:01.720
<v Speaker 3>Enjoy.

0:52:01.880 --> 0:52:03.799
<v Speaker 2>Let us know. If you guys like this, let us

0:52:03.840 --> 0:52:07.520
<v Speaker 2>know it. Whine down the deal. Here's the deal, though,

0:52:07.760 --> 0:52:09.120
<v Speaker 2>we can stop. It's fine.

0:52:09.680 --> 0:52:10.040
<v Speaker 1>I was.

0:52:10.320 --> 0:52:12.840
<v Speaker 2>We were genuinely just doing this for you guys. So

0:52:12.920 --> 0:52:15.520
<v Speaker 2>if you guys don't like us a recapping the five minutes,

0:52:15.960 --> 0:52:17.640
<v Speaker 2>we can take it out. Just give us an email.

0:52:17.800 --> 0:52:18.200
<v Speaker 2>Let us know.

0:52:18.400 --> 0:52:19.760
<v Speaker 3>Maybe we go with three minutes.

0:52:20.880 --> 0:52:25.000
<v Speaker 2>I like three, three is healthy, Three is good, all right.

0:52:25.080 --> 0:52:26.279
<v Speaker 2>Mark's like, let's just cut it.

0:52:27.040 --> 0:52:29.560
<v Speaker 3>No, not yet, I'm not there yet. I like it

0:52:29.600 --> 0:52:31.480
<v Speaker 3>so far. How many seasons until we get to you?

0:52:32.760 --> 0:52:37.480
<v Speaker 2>We've got six years, I know, but it's.

0:52:37.320 --> 0:52:38.680
<v Speaker 1>Like, we need the backstory now to.

0:52:38.719 --> 0:52:42.200
<v Speaker 2>Actually season freaking seven.

0:52:43.000 --> 0:52:45.279
<v Speaker 1>You know what I do love. I'm not sure about

0:52:45.280 --> 0:52:47.200
<v Speaker 1>One Tree Hill yet, not so on it yet. But

0:52:47.200 --> 0:52:48.040
<v Speaker 1>what I do love are.

0:52:47.960 --> 0:52:51.600
<v Speaker 2>Me and oh you are You're my favorites with me.

0:52:51.600 --> 0:52:53.360
<v Speaker 1>And for me, like three.

0:52:53.239 --> 0:52:55.480
<v Speaker 2>Years ago, time out, it was your sister.

0:52:55.880 --> 0:52:56.520
<v Speaker 1>It was my sister.

0:52:56.560 --> 0:52:56.799
<v Speaker 3>First.

0:52:56.840 --> 0:52:59.360
<v Speaker 2>Your sister goes, hey, I know this is kind of weird,

0:52:59.440 --> 0:53:02.319
<v Speaker 2>but like I got you friend likes underwear, so I'm

0:53:02.360 --> 0:53:03.719
<v Speaker 2>gonna get you underwear. I know it's weird for a

0:53:03.800 --> 0:53:06.719
<v Speaker 2>sister to get brother underwear. And since then, you have

0:53:06.880 --> 0:53:09.520
<v Speaker 2>every shade every I got the ones.

0:53:09.360 --> 0:53:11.400
<v Speaker 1>With roses on it, I got the ones with like

0:53:11.440 --> 0:53:14.560
<v Speaker 1>the kiss lips on it. I got polka dot, I

0:53:14.600 --> 0:53:15.280
<v Speaker 1>got blue.

0:53:15.360 --> 0:53:17.560
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, like everything. And they also have me undies for

0:53:17.600 --> 0:53:21.319
<v Speaker 2>girls too. I've got the the like sweat sweat.

0:53:21.160 --> 0:53:23.200
<v Speaker 1>I was gonna say. And we got the pajama pants yeah,

0:53:23.200 --> 0:53:24.160
<v Speaker 1>which are amazing.

0:53:25.640 --> 0:53:26.440
<v Speaker 2>You can finish it.

0:53:26.560 --> 0:53:27.400
<v Speaker 1>Oh thanks, Sonny.

0:53:27.520 --> 0:53:27.880
<v Speaker 2>Welcome.

0:53:28.200 --> 0:53:31.240
<v Speaker 1>So if you ever thought about getting in some new underwear,

0:53:31.239 --> 0:53:34.520
<v Speaker 1>I'm telling you try me Undis. I love them. Jana

0:53:34.600 --> 0:53:37.520
<v Speaker 1>actually even steals mine to wear at night. You love

0:53:37.520 --> 0:53:39.200
<v Speaker 1>to wear those at night, and do we like to.

0:53:39.160 --> 0:53:41.480
<v Speaker 4>Wear I'm I've been a subscriber since like twenty eleven.

0:53:41.880 --> 0:53:45.279
<v Speaker 4>I was an early adopter. Wow, I'm wearing them right now.

0:53:46.400 --> 0:53:50.480
<v Speaker 1>I had a boy but good thing about them. They

0:53:50.520 --> 0:53:54.239
<v Speaker 1>are super soft, like we said, from sustainable Fabric, and

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<v Speaker 1>four xl oh what up though? Yeah, and right now,

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0:54:16.840 --> 0:54:19.720
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0:54:19.760 --> 0:54:24.560
<v Speaker 1>slash wind down. That's me undies dot com slash wine.

0:54:24.360 --> 0:54:26.480
<v Speaker 2>Down by Hey Mark, we got any emails.

0:54:26.640 --> 0:54:28.800
<v Speaker 3>Shanne wants to thank you. She says, thank you for

0:54:28.840 --> 0:54:31.160
<v Speaker 3>the advice you gave me on the Mommy Issues episode

0:54:31.160 --> 0:54:32.799
<v Speaker 3>here in my email out loud gave me so much

0:54:32.800 --> 0:54:34.440
<v Speaker 3>clarity and on top of the fact that you're both

0:54:34.520 --> 0:54:37.719
<v Speaker 3>unbiased bystanders, I was reminded of the feelings of hurt

0:54:37.760 --> 0:54:41.000
<v Speaker 3>and disrespect from him. I'm standing up for myself, I'm

0:54:41.000 --> 0:54:43.440
<v Speaker 3>remembering who I am, and I'm walking the hell away

0:54:43.760 --> 0:54:45.720
<v Speaker 3>from the Toxic Relations Girl.

0:54:46.120 --> 0:54:49.240
<v Speaker 2>Yes Queen Yes also shout out to our nurse today

0:54:49.400 --> 0:54:51.759
<v Speaker 2>because she listens to wind down. She's like, I love you, guys.

0:54:52.239 --> 0:54:56.839
<v Speaker 1>Jason's nurse said the pediatrician. She's fantastic. She's awesome, TI

0:54:57.160 --> 0:54:58.080
<v Speaker 1>because she gave me a shot.

0:54:59.000 --> 0:55:02.520
<v Speaker 3>That's ab Katie's twenty five. He's lived with a guy

0:55:02.560 --> 0:55:04.360
<v Speaker 3>for two and a half years. They have two dogs.

0:55:05.200 --> 0:55:07.880
<v Speaker 3>They lived together, she says, after we essentially planned our

0:55:07.920 --> 0:55:09.839
<v Speaker 3>life together. He broke it off. He told me I

0:55:09.880 --> 0:55:12.520
<v Speaker 3>was a hard person to love. That's a phrase I

0:55:12.560 --> 0:55:15.319
<v Speaker 3>hear every day of my life. This past year, I've

0:55:15.320 --> 0:55:18.399
<v Speaker 3>made some bad decisions with guys, my eating, my overall mood.

0:55:18.440 --> 0:55:19.680
<v Speaker 3>Do you have any advice how to get out of

0:55:19.680 --> 0:55:23.239
<v Speaker 3>this funk? Oh, Katie, I feel like.

0:55:23.160 --> 0:55:25.200
<v Speaker 2>This is very similar to the email we did last time,

0:55:25.239 --> 0:55:28.160
<v Speaker 2>went hard to Love. I said, maybe it's not about

0:55:29.000 --> 0:55:31.000
<v Speaker 2>like the guy kept telling her she's hard to love,

0:55:31.120 --> 0:55:32.960
<v Speaker 2>and I'm like, well, actually that's something where I think

0:55:33.000 --> 0:55:37.759
<v Speaker 2>the guy has his own personal issues. But with this

0:55:38.280 --> 0:55:39.640
<v Speaker 2>and I don't know, it's hard to get out of funk.

0:55:40.040 --> 0:55:42.799
<v Speaker 2>You're kind of in a funk me, haven't you.

0:55:43.480 --> 0:55:43.560
<v Speaker 6>No?

0:55:44.239 --> 0:55:47.160
<v Speaker 1>I was, I'm good now I'm Gucci.

0:55:47.280 --> 0:55:48.359
<v Speaker 3>So what did you to get out of it?

0:55:49.040 --> 0:55:54.440
<v Speaker 1>Yeah? Honestly, for me, he was reading reading.

0:55:54.800 --> 0:55:56.360
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, did you read that book?

0:55:56.600 --> 0:55:59.960
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I've been reading more of that book really. Yeah. Wow.

0:56:00.160 --> 0:56:02.879
<v Speaker 1>And I have my like touchstone self meditation for men

0:56:03.200 --> 0:56:06.200
<v Speaker 1>like daily Morning. I read those like every morning kind

0:56:06.239 --> 0:56:08.879
<v Speaker 1>of gives you like a purpose for the day. Oh yeah.

0:56:08.960 --> 0:56:11.880
<v Speaker 1>So honestly, that's something I've been doing more of and

0:56:11.920 --> 0:56:12.920
<v Speaker 1>I think it's really helped me.

0:56:13.080 --> 0:56:14.720
<v Speaker 2>Oh wow, babe, because.

0:56:14.520 --> 0:56:16.120
<v Speaker 1>A few weeks ago, I was really in a funk.

0:56:16.280 --> 0:56:18.800
<v Speaker 1>Mm hmm. You know, I shared in the podcast whatever

0:56:18.840 --> 0:56:20.640
<v Speaker 1>a week or so ago how we were in a funk.

0:56:21.719 --> 0:56:25.279
<v Speaker 1>But since we've since been way out of that. And yeah,

0:56:25.320 --> 0:56:27.200
<v Speaker 1>for me personally, it took for us to get out

0:56:27.239 --> 0:56:28.480
<v Speaker 1>of funk. It also took me to get out of

0:56:28.520 --> 0:56:30.160
<v Speaker 1>a funk and out of my own head and is

0:56:31.600 --> 0:56:34.080
<v Speaker 1>doing something like taking contrary action? You know me, I'm

0:56:34.080 --> 0:56:36.680
<v Speaker 1>not a huge reader, never have been, but I have

0:56:36.719 --> 0:56:38.759
<v Speaker 1>a lot of books that I want to read. It's

0:56:38.800 --> 0:56:41.080
<v Speaker 1>just like my eighty D kicks in and I can't

0:56:41.080 --> 0:56:41.839
<v Speaker 1>just sit there and read.

0:56:42.080 --> 0:56:44.040
<v Speaker 2>Is it the book that had to be adult?

0:56:44.120 --> 0:56:44.200
<v Speaker 3>Uh?

0:56:44.280 --> 0:56:44.600
<v Speaker 1>Huh?

0:56:44.640 --> 0:56:44.920
<v Speaker 2>Wow?

0:56:45.120 --> 0:56:46.560
<v Speaker 1>Had to be an adult? In a relationship.

0:56:46.600 --> 0:56:47.879
<v Speaker 2>I love it. I'm so proud of you.

0:56:47.960 --> 0:56:48.279
<v Speaker 1>Thank you.

0:56:48.400 --> 0:56:50.560
<v Speaker 2>So I think getting out of it. So maybe try meditating,

0:56:50.719 --> 0:56:51.919
<v Speaker 2>getting to get your funk every day?

0:56:52.080 --> 0:56:54.560
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, do something, do something. The whole point is do

0:56:54.640 --> 0:56:59.040
<v Speaker 1>something different that's healthy that you don't normally do. So

0:56:59.040 --> 0:57:00.880
<v Speaker 1>if you don't normally work out, go work out. If

0:57:00.920 --> 0:57:03.520
<v Speaker 1>you don't normally read, go read. If you never really

0:57:03.560 --> 0:57:05.000
<v Speaker 1>just go for a walk, go for a walk.

0:57:05.680 --> 0:57:08.680
<v Speaker 2>You know what I learned about Mike guys, he doesn't

0:57:08.719 --> 0:57:10.279
<v Speaker 2>like to be encouraged when he works out.

0:57:10.880 --> 0:57:13.680
<v Speaker 3>Go on the same way. I don't like that either.

0:57:14.160 --> 0:57:16.360
<v Speaker 2>I was like, we worked out the other day and

0:57:16.400 --> 0:57:18.000
<v Speaker 2>I was like, come on, babe, you got this, Come on,

0:57:18.080 --> 0:57:19.880
<v Speaker 2>you got it? Only two more like come on, get up.

0:57:19.920 --> 0:57:21.320
<v Speaker 2>He's like stop and I was like ooh.

0:57:24.680 --> 0:57:27.800
<v Speaker 1>And then I told Jana story where every off season

0:57:27.960 --> 0:57:32.240
<v Speaker 1>in the NFL there's always like local college strength coach

0:57:32.320 --> 0:57:35.960
<v Speaker 1>interns or guys that are doing, you know, getting credits

0:57:35.960 --> 0:57:38.640
<v Speaker 1>for college classes that are in the strength program, and

0:57:38.680 --> 0:57:40.600
<v Speaker 1>they would come in trying to you know, it's the

0:57:40.680 --> 0:57:44.120
<v Speaker 1>first time they're nervous in an NFL facility and trying

0:57:44.200 --> 0:57:46.880
<v Speaker 1>to kind of prove themselves. So they get all loud

0:57:46.920 --> 0:57:49.680
<v Speaker 1>and try to pump everybody up, and I've had a

0:57:49.920 --> 0:57:52.760
<v Speaker 1>mf a lot of them because I hate that. So

0:57:52.800 --> 0:57:55.640
<v Speaker 1>they all come in young's let's go, you could do it.

0:57:55.880 --> 0:57:58.800
<v Speaker 1>And I've gotten pretty mean with some of those young

0:57:58.880 --> 0:58:00.560
<v Speaker 1>kids from time to time because.

0:58:00.320 --> 0:58:02.080
<v Speaker 2>If you hate it, what would you like me to do?

0:58:02.080 --> 0:58:02.280
<v Speaker 1>Babe?

0:58:02.320 --> 0:58:06.520
<v Speaker 2>Like when we're stretching, he's like, don't say anything kindly

0:58:07.160 --> 0:58:08.800
<v Speaker 2>because I love working out with him. So I was

0:58:08.840 --> 0:58:10.360
<v Speaker 2>so excited when he came out to work out with

0:58:10.400 --> 0:58:13.640
<v Speaker 2>me and my trainer, and then I was just like, okay,

0:58:14.720 --> 0:58:15.040
<v Speaker 2>all right.

0:58:15.040 --> 0:58:17.160
<v Speaker 3>Next day, Mairl Madison says, my boyfriend and I've been

0:58:17.200 --> 0:58:19.040
<v Speaker 3>together for three years and we're moving in together in

0:58:19.040 --> 0:58:21.360
<v Speaker 3>a few months. He's twenty seven and twenty six. However,

0:58:21.960 --> 0:58:26.000
<v Speaker 3>he doesn't believe in anxiety. I'm working on it, but

0:58:26.040 --> 0:58:27.840
<v Speaker 3>I think part of it is just my personality and

0:58:27.840 --> 0:58:30.080
<v Speaker 3>I don't know if it'll ever be fully fixed. How

0:58:30.080 --> 0:58:31.440
<v Speaker 3>do I deal with your How do you deal with

0:58:31.440 --> 0:58:32.280
<v Speaker 3>your anxious thoughts?

0:58:32.960 --> 0:58:34.760
<v Speaker 2>How could I even forget about this topic?

0:58:34.880 --> 0:58:35.920
<v Speaker 1>Let's answer that question.

0:58:35.960 --> 0:58:36.840
<v Speaker 3>No no, no, no, no.

0:58:36.720 --> 0:58:39.560
<v Speaker 2>No, We're going to answer it, and okay, fine, they

0:58:39.560 --> 0:58:42.919
<v Speaker 2>don't understand it. Until they've had it and they think

0:58:42.960 --> 0:58:44.880
<v Speaker 2>it's all in their head. And this is the best

0:58:44.880 --> 0:58:47.760
<v Speaker 2>example I will give you right now. Michael had an

0:58:47.800 --> 0:58:50.919
<v Speaker 2>anxiety attack. You guys, Oh I did, Yes, you did.

0:58:51.040 --> 0:58:54.040
<v Speaker 2>We were we were in fabrication. No, it's not you guys.

0:58:54.080 --> 0:58:56.680
<v Speaker 2>We were in New Orleans and we were sitting down.

0:58:56.760 --> 0:58:58.920
<v Speaker 2>And this is about the second or third time this

0:58:58.960 --> 0:59:02.760
<v Speaker 2>has happened recently. What just let me finish my story.

0:59:03.960 --> 0:59:06.320
<v Speaker 2>We're sitting down for our date night, like you know,

0:59:06.360 --> 0:59:08.960
<v Speaker 2>we let the nanny. We took the kids to New

0:59:09.040 --> 0:59:12.040
<v Speaker 2>Orleans when I was filming. We decided to have a

0:59:12.120 --> 0:59:13.760
<v Speaker 2>date night. We go to this date night and I

0:59:13.760 --> 0:59:17.360
<v Speaker 2>can just tell he's getting pale, he's getting clammy. You know.

0:59:17.400 --> 0:59:19.640
<v Speaker 2>He had some bread, took a little sip, a little

0:59:19.680 --> 0:59:23.000
<v Speaker 2>teeny weeny sip of his Manhattan on the rocks with

0:59:23.080 --> 0:59:25.640
<v Speaker 2>bullet or no, I didn't have bullet that night anyways,

0:59:25.840 --> 0:59:29.640
<v Speaker 2>and he started to like look down, and I was like,

0:59:29.640 --> 0:59:32.360
<v Speaker 2>are you good. He's like, yeah, I just I don't

0:59:32.360 --> 0:59:35.880
<v Speaker 2>feel good. And I was like okay. And then he said,

0:59:35.960 --> 0:59:37.360
<v Speaker 2>I think I think I need to go outside and

0:59:37.400 --> 0:59:39.240
<v Speaker 2>just get some fresh air. And I was like all right.

0:59:39.920 --> 0:59:42.520
<v Speaker 2>And so he comes back in. I said, babe, you

0:59:42.560 --> 0:59:44.240
<v Speaker 2>know we can leave if you want to leave. Are

0:59:44.280 --> 0:59:47.680
<v Speaker 2>you okay? I please know that it's okay. If you

0:59:47.720 --> 0:59:50.040
<v Speaker 2>don't feel good, we can go right now. We can

0:59:50.080 --> 0:59:52.920
<v Speaker 2>take the food to go. It's okay. And I said,

0:59:52.960 --> 0:59:54.760
<v Speaker 2>can you just tell me your symptoms? And he goes,

0:59:56.080 --> 1:00:02.240
<v Speaker 2>my heart's racing, I'm hot. I I'm like I was

1:00:02.240 --> 1:00:04.920
<v Speaker 2>going to throw up, you know, I feel like I

1:00:04.920 --> 1:00:07.720
<v Speaker 2>need some fresh air. My heart's like yeah, like pounding,

1:00:07.760 --> 1:00:11.160
<v Speaker 2>and I just feel like and I go, babe, that's

1:00:11.160 --> 1:00:15.200
<v Speaker 2>an anxiety attack. Nope, and he will refuse to admit

1:00:15.400 --> 1:00:16.960
<v Speaker 2>that was an anxiety attack. And he goes, but it

1:00:17.000 --> 1:00:18.640
<v Speaker 2>just came out nowhere. I go, babe, this is what

1:00:18.680 --> 1:00:21.680
<v Speaker 2>you don't understand. Mine comes out of nowhere. We can

1:00:21.720 --> 1:00:23.960
<v Speaker 2>be sitting here on a date night and I can

1:00:24.120 --> 1:00:25.120
<v Speaker 2>just but that's the thing.

1:00:25.240 --> 1:00:27.400
<v Speaker 1>I've never had that happen to me before.

1:00:27.840 --> 1:00:30.040
<v Speaker 2>But there was something when we were talking about something

1:00:30.040 --> 1:00:36.120
<v Speaker 2>too that somehow subconsciously triggered that, and he had an

1:00:36.120 --> 1:00:38.120
<v Speaker 2>anxiety attack. And I was like, he goes, well, how

1:00:38.120 --> 1:00:40.240
<v Speaker 2>do you know? I was like, hello, I'm like the

1:00:40.240 --> 1:00:43.800
<v Speaker 2>epicenter of anxiety. I know what this is. And I

1:00:43.840 --> 1:00:46.240
<v Speaker 2>was like, everything you just told me is a symptom

1:00:46.280 --> 1:00:49.120
<v Speaker 2>of anxiety. Yeah, you're not catch you're not trying to

1:00:49.160 --> 1:00:51.080
<v Speaker 2>catch your breath. And but if that is, that's not

1:00:51.640 --> 1:00:55.200
<v Speaker 2>There's different types of anxiety attacks. And that anxiety attack

1:00:55.280 --> 1:00:56.920
<v Speaker 2>that you just had was exactly the one that I

1:00:56.960 --> 1:00:58.720
<v Speaker 2>had when I was with my girlfriends at dinner and

1:00:58.720 --> 1:01:00.160
<v Speaker 2>I was and I was having a great day nor

1:01:00.160 --> 1:01:01.440
<v Speaker 2>with my friends, and all of a sudden, I was like,

1:01:01.840 --> 1:01:03.280
<v Speaker 2>oh God, I don't feel good. I feel I'm gonna

1:01:03.280 --> 1:01:05.280
<v Speaker 2>throw up. My my hands are sweating. You know. I'm

1:01:05.360 --> 1:01:07.240
<v Speaker 2>sweating now, you know, and I need to go outside

1:01:07.240 --> 1:01:09.120
<v Speaker 2>and get some fresh air to be able to breathe, like,

1:01:09.720 --> 1:01:14.680
<v Speaker 2>and he's just he refuses to amiss, it's not coincidental's

1:01:14.840 --> 1:01:17.400
<v Speaker 2>He's like, I'm like refusing to admit that he had

1:01:17.400 --> 1:01:18.160
<v Speaker 2>an anxiety attack.

1:01:19.520 --> 1:01:22.040
<v Speaker 3>Why Linelike, he said, it's so dead set against that.

1:01:22.560 --> 1:01:25.000
<v Speaker 2>I don't because he thinks he can control an anxiety

1:01:25.040 --> 1:01:26.520
<v Speaker 2>attack because.

1:01:26.280 --> 1:01:30.160
<v Speaker 1>I've never had. Well, here's the thing too, and I've

1:01:30.160 --> 1:01:34.840
<v Speaker 1>told Jane this recently over the last several months. I

1:01:35.880 --> 1:01:38.320
<v Speaker 1>know my body very well. My body was my business

1:01:38.320 --> 1:01:40.840
<v Speaker 1>for years, so I'm very in tune with how my

1:01:40.880 --> 1:01:43.720
<v Speaker 1>body feels on what's going on with it. And for

1:01:43.720 --> 1:01:46.440
<v Speaker 1>the last few months, I've just felt out of whack,

1:01:47.080 --> 1:01:50.400
<v Speaker 1>like I'm gonna go to our local physician, get a physical,

1:01:50.560 --> 1:01:52.480
<v Speaker 1>just get my levels checked. I just feel like something

1:01:52.560 --> 1:01:55.840
<v Speaker 1>is off. Something just has to be off. There's no

1:01:55.880 --> 1:01:59.400
<v Speaker 1>way I should be as fatigued or feel as sick

1:01:59.440 --> 1:02:02.760
<v Speaker 1>as I do something times or or or whatever it is.

1:02:03.320 --> 1:02:04.920
<v Speaker 2>And he's even on depression medicine.

1:02:04.960 --> 1:02:07.920
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I mom on, I take an antidepressant. I'm on adderall, Like,

1:02:07.960 --> 1:02:09.720
<v Speaker 1>there's no reason I should be as fatigue. You're tired

1:02:09.760 --> 1:02:11.680
<v Speaker 1>as I am some days when I take Adderall, and

1:02:11.720 --> 1:02:14.479
<v Speaker 1>there's no way I should be. So it's just there's

1:02:14.480 --> 1:02:17.240
<v Speaker 1>just something's off, And so I attribute it to that.

1:02:17.480 --> 1:02:18.720
<v Speaker 1>I'm like, whatever is.

1:02:18.680 --> 1:02:21.560
<v Speaker 2>Going on in my boy, cause that anxiety, that's the thing.

1:02:21.720 --> 1:02:24.040
<v Speaker 2>That's something. Whatever is going on with you cause that

1:02:24.080 --> 1:02:24.800
<v Speaker 2>anxiety right.

1:02:24.720 --> 1:02:28.000
<v Speaker 1>So so well, regardless of whether that moment was an

1:02:28.000 --> 1:02:30.480
<v Speaker 1>anxiety attack or not, I don't I don't consider it

1:02:30.520 --> 1:02:33.240
<v Speaker 1>as like me having anxiety. I just think whatever's going

1:02:33.280 --> 1:02:35.760
<v Speaker 1>on my body is just reallyffing me up right.

1:02:35.640 --> 1:02:37.760
<v Speaker 2>Now, and which caused you to have an anxiety? Attack

1:02:37.840 --> 1:02:41.480
<v Speaker 2>that wasn't an episode of an anxiety attack, and he

1:02:41.560 --> 1:02:43.280
<v Speaker 2>I think he refuses to admit it because he thinks

1:02:43.280 --> 1:02:45.400
<v Speaker 2>that he's more powerful over and I think that's what

1:02:45.520 --> 1:02:49.400
<v Speaker 2>maybe to go back to Madison's email, is we it's

1:02:49.440 --> 1:02:51.640
<v Speaker 2>hard to like people think you can control it.

1:02:51.720 --> 1:02:54.640
<v Speaker 1>Well guys in general, right right, Yeah, we talked about

1:02:54.640 --> 1:02:57.600
<v Speaker 1>our mentality. So I would say, from a god's perspective, Madison,

1:02:58.160 --> 1:03:03.800
<v Speaker 1>if you talk to him, where coming from a place

1:03:03.840 --> 1:03:05.600
<v Speaker 1>like if if Jenef you and I if it was

1:03:05.600 --> 1:03:07.560
<v Speaker 1>from the at the beginning again and you told me

1:03:07.600 --> 1:03:09.760
<v Speaker 1>you had anxiety and you came from a place of

1:03:09.880 --> 1:03:13.240
<v Speaker 1>instead of maybe in the moment that she's having an

1:03:13.240 --> 1:03:15.800
<v Speaker 1>anxiety attack, she stays ahead of it and just get

1:03:15.800 --> 1:03:18.680
<v Speaker 1>And Madison goes to her boyfriend's like, look, I know

1:03:18.720 --> 1:03:21.600
<v Speaker 1>you don't understand this. I don't understand this. This is

1:03:21.600 --> 1:03:24.480
<v Speaker 1>what happens to me sometimes, and I'm it sucks. I'm

1:03:24.480 --> 1:03:26.960
<v Speaker 1>really sorry, But would help What would help me is

1:03:27.000 --> 1:03:30.960
<v Speaker 1>if I had your support and empathy during situations like

1:03:31.000 --> 1:03:32.400
<v Speaker 1>this and like.

1:03:32.600 --> 1:03:34.680
<v Speaker 2>Knowing that not make me feel crazy, right, not make.

1:03:34.600 --> 1:03:37.560
<v Speaker 1>Me feel crazy, and like maybe having your support will

1:03:37.600 --> 1:03:40.040
<v Speaker 1>help them subside or whatever because you know you and

1:03:40.080 --> 1:03:42.040
<v Speaker 1>I early on, I was definitely like, what the hell

1:03:42.120 --> 1:03:45.280
<v Speaker 1>is going on? Like just stop basically, but anyway, So

1:03:45.400 --> 1:03:47.360
<v Speaker 1>if she's able to kind of stay ahead of it

1:03:47.920 --> 1:03:50.840
<v Speaker 1>and just and just bring him in, like be vulnerable

1:03:51.200 --> 1:03:53.400
<v Speaker 1>when it's not going on in that situation, in that

1:03:53.760 --> 1:03:56.320
<v Speaker 1>in that moment, I think as a man, I would

1:03:56.360 --> 1:03:58.640
<v Speaker 1>be able to receive that a little bit better and

1:03:58.720 --> 1:04:02.400
<v Speaker 1>it would make me feel like I can I can

1:04:02.440 --> 1:04:05.720
<v Speaker 1>be like a support for you, you know what I mean?

1:04:05.800 --> 1:04:07.320
<v Speaker 2>Or night in shining, right.

1:04:07.200 --> 1:04:08.960
<v Speaker 1>I can be your your hero a little bit.

1:04:09.320 --> 1:04:11.600
<v Speaker 3>That's that's good advice because she needs to tell him

1:04:11.600 --> 1:04:14.120
<v Speaker 3>exactly what she needs from him in that situation when

1:04:14.120 --> 1:04:16.040
<v Speaker 3>it's not going on. That's something I had to learn

1:04:16.080 --> 1:04:18.400
<v Speaker 3>and Mike you had to learn. So I think if

1:04:18.400 --> 1:04:20.000
<v Speaker 3>you guys are really going to move in together after

1:04:20.040 --> 1:04:21.840
<v Speaker 3>these three years, he's going to have to come around

1:04:21.840 --> 1:04:24.520
<v Speaker 3>on that and and and be empathetic and understand what

1:04:24.560 --> 1:04:25.200
<v Speaker 3>you need from him.

1:04:25.880 --> 1:04:28.200
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, and we and as guys, we love to be needed,

1:04:28.280 --> 1:04:32.240
<v Speaker 1>right Mark, So it's like knowing that our woman needs.

1:04:31.920 --> 1:04:34.080
<v Speaker 2>Us and you hate to feel helpless, which in anxiety,

1:04:34.120 --> 1:04:35.640
<v Speaker 2>you feel helpless because you don't know how to help

1:04:35.800 --> 1:04:36.840
<v Speaker 2>and that makes us defensive.

1:04:37.680 --> 1:04:41.480
<v Speaker 1>Yes, absolutely, Yes, we have one more.

1:04:41.880 --> 1:04:43.360
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, we got a show, guys.

1:04:43.600 --> 1:04:44.480
<v Speaker 1>I think great show.

1:04:44.960 --> 1:04:48.760
<v Speaker 2>I think we got a show guys. That was really fun, good,

1:04:48.920 --> 1:04:52.880
<v Speaker 2>good topics, great topics. I'm excited to see everyone in

1:04:52.920 --> 1:04:55.040
<v Speaker 2>California this weekend at the brief Ast. It's going to

1:04:55.080 --> 1:04:57.560
<v Speaker 2>be a good time, me and my belie, the Brewery,

1:04:57.720 --> 1:04:59.720
<v Speaker 2>so cal contrary, the Brewery will see you there. And

1:04:59.760 --> 1:05:01.240
<v Speaker 2>if you I want to see us live anywhere else,

1:05:01.240 --> 1:05:04.440
<v Speaker 2>go to Janacramer dot com and we'll wind down again

1:05:04.480 --> 1:05:04.960
<v Speaker 2>next week.

1:05:05.160 --> 1:05:06.560
<v Speaker 5>Bye by

1:05:10.160 --> 1:05:10.520
<v Speaker 2>M HM.