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Speaker 1: Yeah, fine podcast.

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Speaker 2: Would you stop talking over our intro?

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Speaker 1: It's half the fun guys.

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Speaker 2: The gang's all here.

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Speaker 1: The gang's all here, We're all back.

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Speaker 2: Yay, Mark Easton, Mike and Janna, just the whole crew.

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Speaker 3: That's the wrong order, I think, is it?

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Speaker 2: No? I mean, it's okay, it's fine. We're back in Nashville,

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Speaker 2: we're back from New Iberia, Louisiana.

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Speaker 1: We are two episodes there. Yeah, yeah, wow.

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Speaker 2: Last one was just basically you in Easton holding it down,

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Speaker 2: which I started to listen to it, and then you

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Speaker 2: were kind of talking bad about me. So I was

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Speaker 2: just like, I'm not gonna talk. I'm not gonna listen

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Speaker 2: to this.

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Speaker 1: I didn't talk anything bad about you. You gotta listen

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Speaker 1: to it in its entirety, Okay, right, Easton?

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Speaker 4: Yeah, you're very complimentary and and i'd like to say

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Speaker 4: we got some rave reviews from that episode.

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Speaker 2: Oh by the way, I was sitting in bed last

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Speaker 2: night and Mike starts laughing and I said, what's so funny?

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Speaker 2: And he goes. Easton just texted me saying that someone

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Speaker 2: appreciated our nerd talk.

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Speaker 1: The email was so good.

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Speaker 4: They wanted us to break down the Spider man, stuff

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Speaker 4: going on, that's not did.

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Speaker 1: You, Jana, did you get any feedback from any of

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Speaker 1: the episodes?

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Speaker 2: Yeah? They really liked y'all's perspective on things. Really yeah,

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Speaker 2: which is I do want to listen. It's just so

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Speaker 2: funny the timing in which I listened to it, because

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Speaker 2: I fast forwarded some of the stuff to get to

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Speaker 2: where you were at right, and then it was just like,

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Speaker 2: you know, Jane and I have been and she's been.

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Speaker 2: I was like, man, just right to just like.

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Speaker 1: It because it had none of it was about what's

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Speaker 1: Jana doing wrong? M there's more about what I'm doing wrong. Actually,

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Speaker 1: that's true. I want to be honest here.

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Speaker 2: It was just funny though, But I really truly wanted

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Speaker 2: to listen. But it's been a little busy, but I'm

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Speaker 2: excited to get in the car. I should have listened

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Speaker 2: to it today, but I was listening to the new

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Speaker 2: Taylor Swift CD album so really good. You know what

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Speaker 2: I've never been? How do I say this?

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Speaker 1: I I'll say it for us. Okay, Usually from a

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Speaker 1: first listen within like a new t O Swift song,

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Speaker 1: Jane and I are in the same boat where usually

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Speaker 1: it's like I'm not a big fan of it, but

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Speaker 1: then after we listen to it several times, we're like, actually,

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Speaker 1: this is a really good song. So usually we don't

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Speaker 1: like a T Swift song from the initial listen, but

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Speaker 1: with everything she's had recently.

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Speaker 2: We're jamming, jamming, Like today, Jolie was being a monrat

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Speaker 2: in the car and I was like, you need to

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Speaker 2: calm down, you're being too loud. I'm just like, uh oh,

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Speaker 2: and then I started putting it out and she starts

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Speaker 2: screaming at me. But I just am like jamming to

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Speaker 2: Tea Swift right now. All of a sudden. It's just

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Speaker 2: I don't think I could ever be in her squad

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Speaker 2: per se because I think we're not. I don't think

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Speaker 2: we have a lot in common, but I do think.

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Speaker 2: But I am like, I love her music. And it

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Speaker 2: was so cool because I saw Demi Levado tweet out

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Speaker 2: to her Instagram's story like, hey, no matter what, girls

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Speaker 2: got to support girls and this music. This girl's putting

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Speaker 2: out amazing music. And it's true. I'm like, yeah, I don't.

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Speaker 2: I don't think I could ever be friends with her,

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Speaker 2: but damn, she's got a really good album right now.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, what are you any tracks standing out to you

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Speaker 3: that you love, Like, I have a.

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Speaker 2: Couple that I love, The Dixie Chicks one.

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Speaker 3: That I cannot. I have a hard time with that one. Really,

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Speaker 3: it makes me cry.

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Speaker 2: Oh, I haven't listened to It's intense. I mean it

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Speaker 2: was the first time. I mean I was, let me

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Speaker 2: pull up the album right now, but it was the

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Speaker 2: first listen because I was stuck in the car for

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Speaker 2: a long time. So I really liked that one.

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Speaker 3: Soon You'll get better.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god, that one just like slayed me. I

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Speaker 2: really liked Cruel Summer.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that's that.

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Speaker 3: There's rumors that's the next single that the tailor says.

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Speaker 2: That I could hear that. So I was thinking either

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Speaker 2: Cruel Summer was going to be in the next one

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Speaker 2: or there was another one that I was listening to

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Speaker 2: that was I was like, Okay, this could be another

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Speaker 2: single too.

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Speaker 3: It seemed like a single.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that one does too. I I was, and I

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Speaker 2: liked it. Was weird because I didn't think I would

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Speaker 2: like the Miss Americana and the Heartbreak prints. Loved that.

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Speaker 3: That's growing on me big time.

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Speaker 2: The man obsessed with.

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Speaker 3: Yes that's a big one.

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Speaker 1: Did when the album come out, like a couple weeks ago.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, the man, I'm like loving The Archer. You know,

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Speaker 2: first listen, I was like, okay, spoppin' I'm not like

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Speaker 2: obsessed with London boy.

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Speaker 3: No, that was a little weird, you know what I

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Speaker 3: love And The Archer is a good example of this.

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Speaker 3: And as a songwriter, maybe you can help me, because

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Speaker 3: I'm not a songwriter. I feel like her bridges are

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Speaker 3: so much better than anybody else's bridges. Like most people,

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Speaker 3: bridges seem like an afterthought, but for her, she sees

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Speaker 3: it as the absolute build up to the final chorus.

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Speaker 3: Like so it just peaks to this pinnacle and she's

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Speaker 3: so good at that, and.

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Speaker 2: That's what I think makes her a really good songwriter.

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Speaker 2: Not to like go on this like Tee Swift run

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Speaker 2: right now, but like usually whenever I'm writing, writers hate bridges.

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Speaker 2: They just hate it. They're like they don't think it's necessary.

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Speaker 2: A lot of them don't write bridges, And most of

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Speaker 2: times I'm like, well, let's just repeat the chorus, do

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Speaker 2: a breakdown course, and that's usually what ends up being

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Speaker 2: the bridge. And just to your point, she takes advantage

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Speaker 2: of the bridge and like knocks it out of the Park.

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Speaker 1: So for those of us who have no idea what

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Speaker 1: you're talking.

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Speaker 2: About, after the second chorus is the bridge. So like

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Speaker 2: after the first verse, second verse, you know, first first verse,

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Speaker 2: then it comes the first chorus, then the second verse,

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Speaker 2: second chorus, and then there's the bridge.

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Speaker 1: But after the second carrier the chorus, is there another

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Speaker 1: version then the bridge.

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Speaker 2: No, it would go go verse chorus and then end.

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Speaker 2: That's born So but most people just but then most

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Speaker 2: people just will do like like if you listen to

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Speaker 2: any of my songs that I write, I'm like, just

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Speaker 2: do a breakdown chorus and then go into the chorus

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Speaker 2: and then.

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Speaker 3: The hard parts the chorus. Right, that's the really, that's

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Speaker 3: what you put the most effort into.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, because you wanted to be super hit, like super cooky,

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Speaker 2: catchy sing along. But man, I mean, she just she

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Speaker 2: she freaking slayed that album. And again, first listen there

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Speaker 2: was I haven't listened. I didn't. I wasn't able to

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Speaker 2: listen to two of the songs, like I didn't hear

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Speaker 2: False God or Daylight. But yeah, it was just it

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Speaker 2: was good. And it's funny because we haven't genuinely loved

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Speaker 2: everything she's put out. I mean I loved her back

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Speaker 2: in the country days for sure, but even Michael and

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Speaker 2: I both were like, hey, babe, I like me.

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Speaker 1: I was like I do do or even we were

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Speaker 1: listening to Alexa the other night with Jolie dancing around

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Speaker 1: making dinner and mean came on. Yeah, I forgot how

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Speaker 1: that that song's so old, but it's so good.

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Speaker 2: I love all of our country stuff. A lot of

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Speaker 2: people my friend, well, my friend, our friend Sarah thought

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Speaker 2: she was making a country album.

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Speaker 1: Sir he Gretzky. She thought that this recent album was

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Speaker 1: going to be a country I.

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Speaker 2: Just kept thinking it was gonna be a counry album,

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Speaker 2: which would be an interesting But I like the fact

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Speaker 2: that she kind of got the Dixie Chicks on there. Anyways,

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Speaker 2: I know we just like went off on a major

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Speaker 2: tea swifferent but so yeah, now you got to listen

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Speaker 2: to it. I will mark what's been up with you?

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Speaker 2: Because I feel like we haven't wind down with you lately.

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Speaker 3: Everything's fine. We spend Labor Day up in Ohi at

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Speaker 3: this resort up there that every year Ryan Seacrest, that's

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Speaker 3: the one gets me a weekend there with my family.

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Speaker 3: That's the greatest gift anyone's gotten me, and but now

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Speaker 3: there is competition as of this year, until this year,

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Speaker 3: it's the greatest year.

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Speaker 2: He's like, it's the greatest gift ever. I mean, I'm sorry, Mike,

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Speaker 2: thank you for your present.

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Speaker 1: I see Ryan Seacrest's game arm right.

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Speaker 2: Next month.

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Speaker 3: I have all these bruises on my upper arm. Here

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Speaker 3: you can't see them, but Easton can see those bruises. Easton,

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Speaker 3: Oh god, what happened? It because we were playing in

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Speaker 3: the pool and this nine year old girl made friends

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Speaker 3: with my kids, and then I kind of joined them.

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Speaker 3: We were playing. I had this ball and that their

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Speaker 3: job was to get the ball away from me, and

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Speaker 3: this girl thought it'd be good to slow me down

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Speaker 3: by pinching my inner arm. And this was like the

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Speaker 3: random girl, This random girl just to just crawl all

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Speaker 3: over me and my arm. And so now I got

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Speaker 3: bruises all over my arm. But her to stop, I

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Speaker 3: mean a little bit, but.

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Speaker 2: That she needs to calm down.

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Speaker 1: She does, she.

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Speaker 3: Did, but it's fine, But everything's good.

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Speaker 1: Thank you for asking good?

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Speaker 2: Are you okay?

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Speaker 3: But I should say the gift joking that we were

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Speaker 3: doing that jan and Might got me a pretty fantastic

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Speaker 3: gift for my birthday.

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Speaker 2: It was all Mike, I'm really bad with birthdays.

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Speaker 3: That's honestly, it's from the two of you.

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Speaker 1: It's from us, it is, it's from you, it's from us.

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Speaker 1: If it's from you, it's from us.

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Speaker 3: They know that I'm a big Milwaukee Brewers fan. They

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Speaker 3: got me a baseball bat autograph, no idea robbing you

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Speaker 3: out the greatest brewer of all time. That was pretty cool,

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Speaker 3: really above and beyond, because I expected nothing. I mean,

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Speaker 3: why would you get me anything?

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Speaker 2: Because Here's where I'm stressing though, is now Easton's birthday

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Speaker 2: is coming up. But now I feel like it's like,

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Speaker 2: that's the thing with gifts, you.

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Speaker 1: Know, I love I love it though.

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Speaker 2: Oh I love giving gifts, you know me, I'd rather

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Speaker 2: give gifts to everybody. But my thing is is like

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Speaker 2: it's just you know, it's a lot.

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Speaker 1: Not It's not about the amount. It's about knowing what

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Speaker 1: that person appreciates and loves more. I feel like the

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Speaker 1: most is easy.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you just buy him like an Avengers T shirt.

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Speaker 3: He's so passionate about a number of things.

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Speaker 1: You know.

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Speaker 4: The greatest gift is just being a part of this podcast.

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Speaker 2: That's really it Easton. By the way, I loved seeing

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Speaker 2: you on set the other day. Oh, you just were

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Speaker 2: like chumming it up. Although I was very upset you

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Speaker 2: didn't say bye.

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Speaker 4: Well, you were in the middle of you were making

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Speaker 4: a major motion picture. I didn't want to interrupt there

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Speaker 4: for a lifetime.

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Speaker 2: Guys, let's calm down with the major motion thing.

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Speaker 1: It's gonna be fantastic.

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Speaker 4: And November sixteenth, Oh wow, oh yeah it is.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, November sixteenth.

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Speaker 2: Christmas and Louisiana.

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Speaker 1: I can't wait to watch.

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Speaker 2: It's funny tho because if you go on my IMDb,

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Speaker 2: it's like Christmas in Mississippi, Christmas and Louisiana. We said,

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Speaker 2: let's do it. I'm really excited about the guests we

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Speaker 2: have on today.

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Speaker 1: It's gonna be awesome.

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Speaker 2: She's a doctor.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that's it.

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Speaker 2: Well, no, she's I just like with this up that

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Speaker 2: she talks about.

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Speaker 1: No, it's gonna be awesome. We're gonna have doctor Judy

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Speaker 1: Hoe on the podcast later today. She has a new

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Speaker 1: book out called Stop Self Sound Abitage, Six Steps to

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Speaker 1: Unlock Your True Motivation. I have a lot of questions

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Speaker 1: about that.

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Speaker 2: I have a lot of questions about the last name

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Speaker 2: like would you change your last name? Like would you

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Speaker 2: not get married to someone because their last name was Hell?

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Speaker 2: Just a valid question.

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Speaker 1: That's like al blessings, but that.

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Speaker 2: Is true Michael's best friend al Butt because that sounds.

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Speaker 2: But so I'm like, when you meet a guy, I mean,

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Speaker 2: I know I do. Like when I'm in middle school

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Speaker 2: high school and you're doing the hearts like Janna, you

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Speaker 2: know Thomas or whatever, It's like Janna, but Janna hoe

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Speaker 2: be interesting.

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Speaker 3: You got to factor that in when you meet someone.

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Speaker 2: What I'm saying I think you do is that rude

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Speaker 2: to factor in? And okay, here I come the emails.

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Speaker 2: I'm not being you know, I'm not being mean. I'm

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Speaker 2: just saying, is it is it something where you're just like,

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Speaker 2: I just love the person so much. My last name

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Speaker 2: is Penis.

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Speaker 1: I think I think some people definitely look into that.

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Speaker 1: I mean, you hate our last name just.

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Speaker 2: Because I'm not a fan of it. But it's only

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Speaker 2: because people can't understand. I literally say I on the

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Speaker 2: phone coffin c A U S S as in Sam

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Speaker 2: I N. They're like, okay, miss Coffin, and I'm like,

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Speaker 2: I literally just spelled it out for you.

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Speaker 4: Mike is still Mike Kramer in my phone.

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Speaker 1: As I should be.

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Speaker 2: Oh, I love it.

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Speaker 3: I didn't think of the Coffin element.

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Speaker 2: It's so and I the part that bothers me is

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Speaker 2: that I go out of my way to spell it

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Speaker 2: out for them.

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Speaker 3: Hates our last name too, and that's kind of molenit skim.

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Speaker 3: It's just cumbers.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I guess to a degree.

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Speaker 3: But I also am a little insulted when she hates

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Speaker 3: it so much?

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Speaker 2: Are you insulted when I hate yours? Ours?

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Speaker 1: Exactly my case. I think that's why Ja doesn't even

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Speaker 1: consider it her last name, even though legally it is.

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Speaker 2: It's but I'm just because it's just it is frustrating, though,

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Speaker 2: like when when you when you go out of your

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Speaker 2: way to say s S as in super or Sam,

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Speaker 2: and people still say, Okay, miss Coffin, I get.

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Speaker 1: It, I've dealt with it my whole life, or they

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Speaker 1: add an Ellen there for claws in which I never

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Speaker 1: even mentioned.

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Speaker 2: So then why would you be offended if we went

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Speaker 2: to Kramer?

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Speaker 1: Because the best thing is is a lot of times

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Speaker 1: Jana still books things under Jana Kramer because it's just easier,

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Speaker 1: and so Janna would give me crap like all the

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Speaker 1: time about my last name and the issue. So she

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Speaker 1: booked something Kramer. We show up to this resort for

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Speaker 1: a vacation and they say, oh, welcome, mister and missus Premier.

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Speaker 1: And I was one time that's all I need, That's

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Speaker 1: all I needed was one person to pronounce it incorrectly.

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Speaker 2: But I always say, this is actually his last names Cosson.

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Speaker 2: Let's say cossin places like when we go to a hotel.

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Speaker 1: I don't care. Maybe early on I was a little

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Speaker 1: bit more self conscious. Now I'm like, yo, say your

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Speaker 1: last name, let's get hooked up. I was like, I'll

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Speaker 1: be mister Kramer.

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Speaker 2: A free ice cream, it's about it.

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Speaker 1: I'll take it.

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Speaker 3: I met a family over the weekend whose last name

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Speaker 3: was Hamburger. If Mike had been Mike Hamburger, would you

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Speaker 3: be Jenna Hamburger.

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Speaker 2: See that is just where That's exactly my point. And

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Speaker 2: I'm curious that I want. I truly want people to

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Speaker 2: because I'm not trying to be vain. This isn't this

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Speaker 2: is just a fun topic conversation. I'm truly not trying

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Speaker 2: to be at any Yeah, and at the end of

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Speaker 2: the day, I would love him no matter what, I

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Speaker 2: just think it's funny. So I'm just curious if anyone

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Speaker 2: else has any funny last names or what they could

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Speaker 2: have married.

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Speaker 1: And there's got to be someone that listens.

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Speaker 2: Name mister Seaman was our swim coach, and I'm like,

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Speaker 2: in high school, I'm like, would I be a missus Seman?

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Speaker 2: I don't know, Like again, if your last name was Semen,

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Speaker 2: it's just it's just you got you have to have

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Speaker 2: real like you know, hello mister Seman and shout out

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Speaker 2: to my swim coach.

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Speaker 4: My wife, Aliston could not wait to change her name.

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Speaker 4: Her last name was Drinker and when she was in

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Speaker 4: college her first name is Alison. Her email address was

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Speaker 4: a drinker You see and see that you and she

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Speaker 4: hated it. It cuts you off after.

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Speaker 2: Sell like I would never actually ask doctor Hoe if

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Speaker 2: she is that it? Yeah, doctor Howe see again, Like

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Speaker 2: I would never actually ask her.

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Speaker 3: You're not going to I thought this was all a

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Speaker 3: part of setup to you.

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Speaker 2: Because I'm not. I'm actually not rude. Contrary for popular

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Speaker 2: popular opinions, I would never actually ask. But I'm just curious.

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Speaker 2: What's our email address? Again?

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Speaker 4: It's wind downradio dot com.

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Speaker 2: So please send me like the best last name you've

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Speaker 2: heard for real. I just really want to know because

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Speaker 2: I think it's funny.

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Speaker 3: Call out of the morning show named worm and that's

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Speaker 3: why he was calling his wife or his fiance didn't

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Speaker 3: want to take his last name really yeast Morning show.

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Speaker 1: Yes, so it's definitely happens.

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Speaker 3: Definitely happens.

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Speaker 2: I mean, if you guys were to take it, let's say,

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Speaker 2: I know guys don't take names, but if you were,

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Speaker 2: I mean, was it something where I mean, would you

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Speaker 2: like your last name to be vagina?

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Speaker 3: Yes?

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Speaker 1: Yes, yes, I'll change my first name.

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Speaker 2: I just asked guy, Oh my god, Michael, a lot

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Speaker 2: of vagina would.

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Speaker 1: Be really bad.

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Speaker 3: Your last name is vagina. And it wasn't spelled the

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Speaker 3: traditional way of spelling it. It was like V A

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Speaker 3: J H, Y and E. And then you're like every

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Speaker 3: time you have to say it's vagina V Y g H.

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Speaker 2: You know, maybe I asked a guy a wrong question.

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Speaker 2: I shouldn't say. Let's say it was your last name

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Speaker 2: was scrotum, would never be you know, let's see, let's

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Speaker 2: google it.

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Speaker 1: Last name.

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Speaker 3: Are more guys going to be taking women's names?

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Speaker 1: Is it? I don't think it's going to be that.

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Speaker 1: I think it's just going to be. I don't think

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Speaker 1: it's gonna be men taking the women's I think that

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Speaker 1: the women just may decide not to take the men

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Speaker 1: man's last name, but.

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Speaker 2: Then scro are someone's last name.

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Speaker 3: That too. I think we googled the same things.

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Speaker 2: Did you just say scrot them last name?

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Speaker 1: Did?

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Speaker 2: Yeah? And it came up with tesccles and scrotum last name,

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Speaker 2: the Scrotum family. Like, here's the thing, Zoe, Zoe Saldano's

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Speaker 2: husband took her last name, right.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, this time has come. It's just a matter of

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Speaker 3: when it will become one of the tipping point happened

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Speaker 3: where it's a regular thing. It's still I think.

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Speaker 2: It's a lot of girls now are not taking the

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Speaker 2: man's name at all and just having separate right.

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Speaker 1: Which I don't necessarily have a problem with. For me,

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Speaker 1: it's just about the kid.

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Speaker 2: It's about which is why ultimately, which is right?

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Speaker 1: Right, which is ultimately why you did it because on paper,

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Speaker 1: legally I just wanted.

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Speaker 2: I want the same last name as Miche.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I want the kid. I want the whole family

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Speaker 1: to be where the cautions.

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Speaker 3: It's weird, it's weird. To have mom and dad her

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Speaker 3: last names.

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Speaker 5: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: See, that's I've always thought that was and I just

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Speaker 2: I want my last name to be the same as

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Speaker 2: Jolie's at the end of the day. But I think

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Speaker 2: it's also something where that is probably what's changing now.

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Speaker 2: And it's just like, all right, this is my last name,

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Speaker 2: that's your last name.

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Speaker 1: Right, which is taking book as we as generations can

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Speaker 1: you on. This is going to be the issue with

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Speaker 1: that is Okay, women are gonna start keeping their last name. Fine,

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Speaker 1: then give it some more time, like twenty more years,

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Speaker 1: and then it's gonna be like women be like, well,

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Speaker 1: why do the kids have to take your name?

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Speaker 2: What I would want you lay to take my name?

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Speaker 2: That's that's just what's with that?

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Speaker 1: And that what I'm just saying, this is going to

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Speaker 1: be a debate, probably sooner than later. Just the way

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Speaker 1: the trend of society is going right now is well,

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Speaker 1: why does it Why do we have to take the

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Speaker 1: man's last name? Why do the kids have to take

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Speaker 1: the man's last name? Why can't they take the women's?

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Speaker 1: Why equality?

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Speaker 2: Are you mocking equality?

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Speaker 1: Michael, Oh, I'm just saying. I'm just saying there's gonna

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Speaker 1: be it's gonna become some sensitive thing now because society's

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Speaker 1: over freaking sensitive to everything and no one can accept us.

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Speaker 1: Certain things are just the way they are. And I

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Speaker 1: don't see there's anything being wrong with a tradition of

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Speaker 1: that sort.

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Speaker 3: I think it's for the whole family to have the

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Speaker 3: same name, whether it's his or hers. I think it's

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Speaker 3: weird to have mom one name, dad one name. Some

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Speaker 3: some families have the boy takes dad's name, the girl

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Speaker 3: takes mom's name, to make the kids hyphen the names,

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Speaker 3: which just gets cumbersome.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's weird.

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Speaker 1: All right, let's take a break and we will come

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Speaker 1: back with doctor how Sweet. All right, I'm excited. Jane

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Speaker 1: is excited. Let's bring in doctor. You're incited. I'm excited.

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Speaker 1: Jana is incided. I'm excited. Jana is excited. Let's bring

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Speaker 1: in doctor Judy Howe.

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Speaker 5: I'm really great, guys, I'm doing great. How about you, guys,

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Speaker 5: We're good.

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Speaker 2: We're so excited to talk to you.

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00:18:44,080 --> 00:18:47,159
Speaker 1: Yes, I honestly going into this, I didn't really know

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00:18:47,280 --> 00:18:49,399
Speaker 1: much about you, think reading the rundown. Let me just

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00:18:49,440 --> 00:18:52,160
Speaker 1: give this to our listeners. You are a Triple Board

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00:18:52,200 --> 00:18:57,800
Speaker 1: certified clinical and forensic neuropsychologist and co host of CBS's

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00:18:57,920 --> 00:19:00,840
Speaker 1: show Face the Truth with Vivocate a box.

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00:19:01,400 --> 00:19:04,920
Speaker 2: Wow, and you have a book called Stop Self Sabotage.

443
00:19:04,920 --> 00:19:07,840
Speaker 2: Six Steps to unlock your true motivation, harness your willpower,

444
00:19:07,840 --> 00:19:10,600
Speaker 2: and get out of your own way. And we were

445
00:19:10,640 --> 00:19:13,600
Speaker 2: actually just at our son's nine month well visit appointment

446
00:19:14,000 --> 00:19:16,959
Speaker 2: and Mike was, you know, reading down the rundown, and

447
00:19:17,000 --> 00:19:19,159
Speaker 2: I said, Wow, this is such a good topic for

448
00:19:19,480 --> 00:19:21,119
Speaker 2: for both of us. But I think Mike kind of

449
00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:24,840
Speaker 2: wants to kick it off because he's he's interested to

450
00:19:24,960 --> 00:19:25,679
Speaker 2: learn more about that.

451
00:19:26,040 --> 00:19:28,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, I too. Yeah, let me let me just start

452
00:19:28,040 --> 00:19:28,560
Speaker 1: you off with this.

453
00:19:29,359 --> 00:19:32,560
Speaker 2: With you, we have very we have two very different scenarios.

454
00:19:32,600 --> 00:19:34,960
Speaker 1: So yeah, let me start you off with this question,

455
00:19:35,200 --> 00:19:39,200
Speaker 1: doctor Judy, what is the fine line? Because to me,

456
00:19:39,320 --> 00:19:43,720
Speaker 1: there's there's a line between being realistic and being self sabotaging,

457
00:19:44,520 --> 00:19:47,120
Speaker 1: So like, what does that look like in your your

458
00:19:47,160 --> 00:19:49,120
Speaker 1: professional opinion? Like, what's the difference?

459
00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:52,359
Speaker 5: That's an awesome question, actually, and no one's got to

460
00:19:52,440 --> 00:19:55,000
Speaker 5: ask me that. So this is a great time to

461
00:19:55,040 --> 00:19:56,640
Speaker 5: kind of talk about that distinction, because you know, there's

462
00:19:56,680 --> 00:19:58,919
Speaker 5: some people who are just so driven, they have so

463
00:19:59,040 --> 00:20:02,480
Speaker 5: many goals and maybe they falter on one or two,

464
00:20:02,560 --> 00:20:04,679
Speaker 5: or maybe they're just a little bit slow in getting

465
00:20:04,680 --> 00:20:06,359
Speaker 5: to wherever they want it to be. But their vision

466
00:20:06,440 --> 00:20:08,520
Speaker 5: is really big, and so is that self sabotage? I

467
00:20:08,560 --> 00:20:11,840
Speaker 5: would say no, because self sabotage is actually repeatedly getting

468
00:20:11,880 --> 00:20:14,080
Speaker 5: in your own way despite your best intention. So that's

469
00:20:14,119 --> 00:20:16,560
Speaker 5: when you say I have this goal, and then you

470
00:20:16,600 --> 00:20:18,760
Speaker 5: start to work towards that goal. But you are the

471
00:20:19,280 --> 00:20:22,480
Speaker 5: why you stop your own progress. Not because you know

472
00:20:22,600 --> 00:20:24,879
Speaker 5: the world, not because well it just takes time to

473
00:20:24,880 --> 00:20:27,120
Speaker 5: get there, because this is a big dream of yours. No,

474
00:20:27,240 --> 00:20:29,919
Speaker 5: It's like a good example of this might be somebody

475
00:20:29,920 --> 00:20:32,760
Speaker 5: who says, okay, I'm going to finally lose you know,

476
00:20:32,800 --> 00:20:34,920
Speaker 5: those twenty pounds. My doctors said it would be good

477
00:20:34,960 --> 00:20:37,280
Speaker 5: for me, let me get healthier, and they're so close,

478
00:20:37,320 --> 00:20:38,920
Speaker 5: you know, they've been doing so well for two months,

479
00:20:38,920 --> 00:20:40,639
Speaker 5: and all of a sudden they just go on a

480
00:20:40,680 --> 00:20:43,000
Speaker 5: crazy binge over a vacation for a week when they

481
00:20:43,000 --> 00:20:44,879
Speaker 5: didn't have to do that. You know, that would be

482
00:20:44,920 --> 00:20:48,000
Speaker 5: self sabotaged. Whereas somebody who's saying, well, I want to

483
00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:50,680
Speaker 5: be you know, the next elite triathlete and they train

484
00:20:50,720 --> 00:20:52,800
Speaker 5: for a year's like, okay, I'm still not an elite triathlete.

485
00:20:52,840 --> 00:20:55,200
Speaker 5: Well that's okay if you're making progress, because that's a

486
00:20:55,280 --> 00:20:57,960
Speaker 5: huge goal and that takes time sometimes years to get there.

487
00:20:58,840 --> 00:21:03,120
Speaker 2: Right, but also realizing that like, Okay, I'm not going anywhere,

488
00:21:03,160 --> 00:21:06,440
Speaker 2: So is that okay to then stop? When you to

489
00:21:06,800 --> 00:21:09,600
Speaker 2: what his questions like, Okay, well, obviously you know that

490
00:21:09,720 --> 00:21:13,120
Speaker 2: you're not going to be the next American idol if

491
00:21:13,119 --> 00:21:15,560
Speaker 2: you're completely toned off. But yeah, if you keep going

492
00:21:15,600 --> 00:21:17,359
Speaker 2: and it's like you can do it, like you've got to,

493
00:21:17,440 --> 00:21:18,800
Speaker 2: it's like when.

494
00:21:18,640 --> 00:21:19,639
Speaker 5: Do you right?

495
00:21:19,720 --> 00:21:23,399
Speaker 1: Yeah? Again, when's realistic? Because I feel like people in

496
00:21:23,440 --> 00:21:26,880
Speaker 1: general can talk themselves out of something, and so it's

497
00:21:27,240 --> 00:21:29,600
Speaker 1: you know, especially for someone like me, and our listeners

498
00:21:29,640 --> 00:21:31,359
Speaker 1: have heard me say this a lot, just issues with

499
00:21:31,400 --> 00:21:34,639
Speaker 1: not feeling good enough or never really satisfied with something

500
00:21:34,680 --> 00:21:36,639
Speaker 1: where I look back in my professional career or sports

501
00:21:36,680 --> 00:21:39,240
Speaker 1: or this or that and I'm like, did I work

502
00:21:39,240 --> 00:21:41,960
Speaker 1: as hard as I could even though I know I did,

503
00:21:42,280 --> 00:21:45,160
Speaker 1: Even though I know that I do, but now after

504
00:21:45,200 --> 00:21:49,000
Speaker 1: the fact, I question it. So I'm like, you know

505
00:21:49,080 --> 00:21:51,679
Speaker 1: what that battle is? Just it drives me.

506
00:21:51,760 --> 00:21:55,119
Speaker 5: Nuts on well, totally. And I think that that is

507
00:21:55,160 --> 00:21:57,200
Speaker 5: you know, much as we talk about like precursors to

508
00:21:57,320 --> 00:21:59,320
Speaker 5: self davatize, It doesn't mean that you're going to step

509
00:21:59,359 --> 00:22:01,639
Speaker 5: in it. It just means that these are certain traps

510
00:22:01,680 --> 00:22:04,160
Speaker 5: that you know, it can sometimes get people into more

511
00:22:04,240 --> 00:22:06,640
Speaker 5: risky situations where they might self sabotage, or they will

512
00:22:06,680 --> 00:22:10,120
Speaker 5: on occasion. And you know that sort of self talk

513
00:22:10,400 --> 00:22:13,199
Speaker 5: or like thoughts is a huge part of it, you know,

514
00:22:13,280 --> 00:22:17,359
Speaker 5: because we don't have feelings or actions without thoughts first.

515
00:22:17,480 --> 00:22:19,520
Speaker 5: And sometimes who just don't notice the thoughts. We notice

516
00:22:19,520 --> 00:22:21,760
Speaker 5: it that we feel better or we do something. We're like, ah,

517
00:22:21,760 --> 00:22:23,760
Speaker 5: why don't we do that? But there's always like a

518
00:22:23,800 --> 00:22:26,320
Speaker 5: thought process that precedes it. And so in my book,

519
00:22:26,320 --> 00:22:29,400
Speaker 5: I talk about my theory where self sabotage can come

520
00:22:29,440 --> 00:22:32,120
Speaker 5: from like one or four places, and people can say

521
00:22:32,119 --> 00:22:34,000
Speaker 5: that they see themselves in a little bit of each one,

522
00:22:34,240 --> 00:22:36,000
Speaker 5: or they see themselves in all four. It doesn't mean

523
00:22:36,040 --> 00:22:38,400
Speaker 5: they self sabotage all the time, but it just means

524
00:22:38,400 --> 00:22:41,320
Speaker 5: that these are your particular triggers. And so I put

525
00:22:41,320 --> 00:22:43,280
Speaker 5: it into an acronym called life because that's how I

526
00:22:43,320 --> 00:22:46,480
Speaker 5: remember things, as like make acronyms and so life, each

527
00:22:46,520 --> 00:22:48,359
Speaker 5: of them stands for a different factor. And so to

528
00:22:48,440 --> 00:22:51,080
Speaker 5: your point, Mike, you know what you are talking about

529
00:22:51,480 --> 00:22:54,480
Speaker 5: could be something like you know, so there's the four acronyms.

530
00:22:54,640 --> 00:22:58,080
Speaker 5: They stand for L stands for lower shapy self esteem.

531
00:22:58,520 --> 00:23:00,840
Speaker 5: I stands for internalized belief You know, things that you

532
00:23:00,920 --> 00:23:03,000
Speaker 5: might have, you know, even started to learn from childhood,

533
00:23:03,000 --> 00:23:05,040
Speaker 5: and as an adult you start to adopt them yourself.

534
00:23:05,480 --> 00:23:07,359
Speaker 5: And then F it's fear of change or the unknown,

535
00:23:07,440 --> 00:23:10,040
Speaker 5: and E is a sessive need for control. And so

536
00:23:10,080 --> 00:23:13,480
Speaker 5: sometimes when you like wonder did I do my best

537
00:23:13,520 --> 00:23:15,560
Speaker 5: even though you know you did, but that thought is

538
00:23:15,600 --> 00:23:18,120
Speaker 5: still there, it could be part of life, for example,

539
00:23:18,119 --> 00:23:21,440
Speaker 5: an internalized beliefs, where like maybe you just learn from

540
00:23:21,440 --> 00:23:24,200
Speaker 5: a very young age that like you've got to keep

541
00:23:24,240 --> 00:23:27,000
Speaker 5: trying and like you're not good enough until you keep going,

542
00:23:27,040 --> 00:23:29,359
Speaker 5: Like there's these messages that you get from parents or

543
00:23:29,400 --> 00:23:31,960
Speaker 5: coaches or teachers, and then as an adult you start

544
00:23:32,000 --> 00:23:34,040
Speaker 5: beating on yourself with those messages even when you have

545
00:23:34,119 --> 00:23:34,760
Speaker 5: had your best.

546
00:23:35,640 --> 00:23:39,159
Speaker 1: Absolutely, I mean that that resonates, resonates completely with me

547
00:23:39,280 --> 00:23:41,560
Speaker 1: is definitely part of my story. And I have one

548
00:23:41,560 --> 00:23:45,040
Speaker 1: more situation I want to bring up just personally. And again,

549
00:23:45,160 --> 00:23:46,520
Speaker 1: Jane and I are very open the show. So if

550
00:23:46,560 --> 00:23:48,760
Speaker 1: something for me is like Jana always encouraged me when

551
00:23:48,760 --> 00:23:51,880
Speaker 1: I was done with my NFL career and everything like that,

552
00:23:51,920 --> 00:23:53,680
Speaker 1: and even people around me they're like, oh, you should

553
00:23:53,680 --> 00:23:56,600
Speaker 1: try you know, sportscasting and this and that, and you'd

554
00:23:56,600 --> 00:24:00,040
Speaker 1: be really good at it, and and me, I, I

555
00:24:00,040 --> 00:24:02,320
Speaker 1: guess you could call them excuses, but I always told myself,

556
00:24:02,440 --> 00:24:05,560
Speaker 1: was like, yeah, that'd be great. But almost every player

557
00:24:05,600 --> 00:24:08,520
Speaker 1: that retires, that's the first thing they want to get into.

558
00:24:09,119 --> 00:24:12,040
Speaker 1: And every time that some guy that played for ten

559
00:24:12,080 --> 00:24:14,920
Speaker 1: plus years is a first you know, first ballot Hall

560
00:24:14,960 --> 00:24:17,600
Speaker 1: of Famer and multiple Pro Bowls, a Super Bowl, this

561
00:24:17,680 --> 00:24:19,439
Speaker 1: and that, they get bumped to the top of the

562
00:24:19,480 --> 00:24:22,800
Speaker 1: list every year those guys retire. So I'm like, you know,

563
00:24:22,880 --> 00:24:25,320
Speaker 1: maybe I'm not confident in my accolades that I achieved

564
00:24:25,320 --> 00:24:27,919
Speaker 1: in my career or whatever it may be, But to me,

565
00:24:29,080 --> 00:24:32,320
Speaker 1: I've thought of it as being realistic and to me

566
00:24:32,520 --> 00:24:32,800
Speaker 1: and my.

567
00:24:32,920 --> 00:24:35,680
Speaker 2: Wife and as his wife, I'm like, Okay, first of all,

568
00:24:35,960 --> 00:24:37,760
Speaker 2: you don't have a face for radio. You've got a

569
00:24:37,760 --> 00:24:41,600
Speaker 2: face for TV. You're so charming, you are so like

570
00:24:41,640 --> 00:24:45,719
Speaker 2: you ask amazing questions. You're so charming and you like

571
00:24:45,760 --> 00:24:47,919
Speaker 2: you would be and everyone has met him. It's like,

572
00:24:48,000 --> 00:24:50,200
Speaker 2: you need to do sports broadcasting and I'm like, babe,

573
00:24:50,440 --> 00:24:52,080
Speaker 2: I can link you with the right people. We can.

574
00:24:52,640 --> 00:24:54,320
Speaker 2: Like it's going to be worth a lot of hard work,

575
00:24:54,320 --> 00:24:56,360
Speaker 2: but like you can do it. And it's just it's

576
00:24:56,359 --> 00:24:58,480
Speaker 2: been so frustrating to stand the sidelence and I'm like, Okay,

577
00:24:58,480 --> 00:25:00,280
Speaker 2: I can't push for a dream that maybe he just

578
00:25:00,320 --> 00:25:02,679
Speaker 2: doesn't want, but I think he does want. So it's

579
00:25:02,680 --> 00:25:03,879
Speaker 2: like it's hard for me because I'm like, does he

580
00:25:03,960 --> 00:25:06,200
Speaker 2: want it? Does he not want it? Like when should

581
00:25:06,200 --> 00:25:08,000
Speaker 2: I stop pushing him? Because I want him to be

582
00:25:08,080 --> 00:25:09,800
Speaker 2: so happy. I'm like, if you want to be a garbage,

583
00:25:10,000 --> 00:25:11,040
Speaker 2: I don't care what you do.

584
00:25:11,520 --> 00:25:13,000
Speaker 1: I just want you to be happy, happy.

585
00:25:13,600 --> 00:25:15,919
Speaker 2: But it's like, but I also know, but I just

586
00:25:16,000 --> 00:25:19,159
Speaker 2: also know, like what he's capable of and what he's

587
00:25:19,680 --> 00:25:22,479
Speaker 2: walking away from when he has an opportunity, and he

588
00:25:22,520 --> 00:25:25,199
Speaker 2: could have those opportunities. So it's frustrating as like a

589
00:25:25,200 --> 00:25:28,320
Speaker 2: biastander to be like, why wouldn't you want to try? Right?

590
00:25:28,400 --> 00:25:30,440
Speaker 5: Well, not that's not only as a vicegander, but obviously,

591
00:25:30,480 --> 00:25:32,119
Speaker 5: like that's the one who loves him, and you're like,

592
00:25:32,160 --> 00:25:35,199
Speaker 5: come on, like, I can see so much more that

593
00:25:35,240 --> 00:25:37,640
Speaker 5: could happen, but we want to make sure that it's

594
00:25:37,680 --> 00:25:40,600
Speaker 5: what might want, right, And so that's obviously the struggle

595
00:25:40,640 --> 00:25:43,080
Speaker 5: that you're having. But you know, I do think that, Mike.

596
00:25:43,160 --> 00:25:45,359
Speaker 5: Sometimes maybe your thoughts do get in the way. And

597
00:25:45,400 --> 00:25:47,679
Speaker 5: like there's these categories of thought that we all have,

598
00:25:47,880 --> 00:25:50,439
Speaker 5: you know, and everybody has them in different amounts. But

599
00:25:50,800 --> 00:25:54,560
Speaker 5: you know, one type of thought though is discounting the positives.

600
00:25:54,600 --> 00:25:56,840
Speaker 5: And I can definitely see that that might be part

601
00:25:56,880 --> 00:25:59,560
Speaker 5: of your thinking that you know, even when you've achieved

602
00:25:59,560 --> 00:26:02,159
Speaker 5: a lot, Yeah, but that's not really anything that I

603
00:26:02,160 --> 00:26:04,280
Speaker 5: should have done more. And it's almost the same thing

604
00:26:04,280 --> 00:26:06,680
Speaker 5: when you compare yourself to some of these other guys, like, well,

605
00:26:06,760 --> 00:26:09,040
Speaker 5: but they've got like five, ten, fifteen years on me,

606
00:26:09,440 --> 00:26:11,320
Speaker 5: So maybe I'm just not there yet. Maybe if I

607
00:26:11,440 --> 00:26:13,280
Speaker 5: even want to do that, I can't even do that

608
00:26:13,320 --> 00:26:16,120
Speaker 5: for another ten years. And you know, while that's really

609
00:26:16,160 --> 00:26:18,399
Speaker 5: awesome because it sounds like you're a very humble person

610
00:26:18,400 --> 00:26:20,800
Speaker 5: who's like grateful for your opportunities, you can see how

611
00:26:20,840 --> 00:26:22,440
Speaker 5: those thoughts can get in your own way, right, because,

612
00:26:22,440 --> 00:26:25,400
Speaker 5: for example, like Sianna was saying, maybe there are people

613
00:26:25,440 --> 00:26:26,960
Speaker 5: who are just like dying to get to know you

614
00:26:27,000 --> 00:26:29,040
Speaker 5: and put you on air. But if you don't go

615
00:26:29,160 --> 00:26:30,720
Speaker 5: for it, and if you don't like say yes to

616
00:26:30,800 --> 00:26:34,320
Speaker 5: the meeting, then that wouldn't happen until you say yes, right,

617
00:26:34,400 --> 00:26:36,640
Speaker 5: And so that wouldn't be a place where you could

618
00:26:36,720 --> 00:26:39,760
Speaker 5: slip up and self davotage, is it?

619
00:26:40,040 --> 00:26:42,520
Speaker 1: I mean, you guys just talking about it something that's

620
00:26:42,560 --> 00:26:45,560
Speaker 1: coming up for me. Maybe it's I do have a

621
00:26:45,600 --> 00:26:51,040
Speaker 1: fear around my concern is that my fears get validated? Right, yes?

622
00:26:51,119 --> 00:26:53,119
Speaker 1: So so yeah, I say, I do put myself out there,

623
00:26:53,400 --> 00:26:55,480
Speaker 1: and the reason that it doesn't work out is are

624
00:26:55,520 --> 00:26:58,320
Speaker 1: for the exact reasons why I was hesitant in the first.

625
00:26:58,160 --> 00:27:02,040
Speaker 5: Place, totally right, Because you're afraid that that might like

626
00:27:02,880 --> 00:27:05,679
Speaker 5: you know, validate or confirm like these deep fears that

627
00:27:05,720 --> 00:27:07,320
Speaker 5: you have, and like what does that mean about you?

628
00:27:07,359 --> 00:27:09,440
Speaker 5: Then if you don't get it, and I think, again,

629
00:27:09,480 --> 00:27:11,000
Speaker 5: this is like where our thoughts can get us in

630
00:27:11,040 --> 00:27:14,120
Speaker 5: the loop, right, because what's happening in this case would

631
00:27:14,160 --> 00:27:16,080
Speaker 5: be that if you don't get it, there could be

632
00:27:16,080 --> 00:27:18,000
Speaker 5: a million reasons it could be, well, this is just

633
00:27:18,000 --> 00:27:19,560
Speaker 5: not the time where we already had a person we

634
00:27:19,560 --> 00:27:21,960
Speaker 5: were already talking to, so that spot was already held

635
00:27:22,000 --> 00:27:24,120
Speaker 5: and that person said yes, and so we're not even

636
00:27:24,280 --> 00:27:27,200
Speaker 5: entertaining any other offers, even though yours was a really

637
00:27:27,200 --> 00:27:29,760
Speaker 5: close second. You know, all these things could happen, but

638
00:27:29,800 --> 00:27:32,439
Speaker 5: like your own interpretation though of that if it were

639
00:27:32,600 --> 00:27:35,400
Speaker 5: to happen is oh see, I wasn't good enough and

640
00:27:35,560 --> 00:27:38,000
Speaker 5: I shouldn't have even done it. And you know, I

641
00:27:38,080 --> 00:27:40,040
Speaker 5: talk all the time with people I work with, my

642
00:27:40,080 --> 00:27:42,800
Speaker 5: friends and my family and my clients. You know about

643
00:27:43,400 --> 00:27:45,840
Speaker 5: the things that we tell ourselves when a situation happens.

644
00:27:45,880 --> 00:27:48,439
Speaker 5: Like two of the same situations could happen to the

645
00:27:48,760 --> 00:27:51,760
Speaker 5: two different people, and they could have completely different reactions

646
00:27:51,760 --> 00:27:54,479
Speaker 5: to it. Like, for example, if two separate people were

647
00:27:54,560 --> 00:27:56,600
Speaker 5: laid off, one person could have a thought like, oh

648
00:27:56,680 --> 00:27:58,320
Speaker 5: my gosh, like what am I going to do for money?

649
00:27:58,359 --> 00:27:59,680
Speaker 5: What am I going to tell my family? This is

650
00:27:59,680 --> 00:28:02,160
Speaker 5: still in arsa, and you can see how they was spiral.

651
00:28:02,320 --> 00:28:05,160
Speaker 5: They would have negative emotions, they would probably go and isolate.

652
00:28:05,440 --> 00:28:07,760
Speaker 5: But then the other persons who gets laid off, they're like,

653
00:28:07,800 --> 00:28:09,679
Speaker 5: thank goodness, I didn't like this job that much in

654
00:28:09,720 --> 00:28:11,800
Speaker 5: the first place. So while it's stuck to not have

655
00:28:11,840 --> 00:28:13,679
Speaker 5: a job, like this is my time to recent let

656
00:28:13,680 --> 00:28:15,119
Speaker 5: me think about what I want to do next, and

657
00:28:15,160 --> 00:28:17,000
Speaker 5: you can see how that person can have a totally

658
00:28:17,040 --> 00:28:20,000
Speaker 5: different cascade of emotions and actions after that. They may

659
00:28:20,000 --> 00:28:22,240
Speaker 5: even be looking up a little freefacation, you know, They

660
00:28:22,240 --> 00:28:24,639
Speaker 5: may you know, make dinner plans with their friends. And

661
00:28:24,720 --> 00:28:26,879
Speaker 5: so that's kind of the power of thoughts right as

662
00:28:26,960 --> 00:28:29,720
Speaker 5: human beings. I mean, it's like our greatest achievement and

663
00:28:29,760 --> 00:28:32,960
Speaker 5: our greatest downfall that we have thoughts and we have language.

664
00:28:33,000 --> 00:28:34,879
Speaker 5: I guess what leads us to be the top of

665
00:28:34,920 --> 00:28:37,879
Speaker 5: the food chain. But it's also like what leads us

666
00:28:37,880 --> 00:28:42,000
Speaker 5: to have suffering. And that's I think the interesting piece

667
00:28:42,080 --> 00:28:44,400
Speaker 5: of the puzzle is that the thoughts are what leads

668
00:28:44,440 --> 00:28:47,960
Speaker 5: us to oftentimes our suffering most definitely.

669
00:28:48,240 --> 00:28:51,120
Speaker 1: And let me just ask this too on the opposite

670
00:28:51,160 --> 00:28:53,200
Speaker 1: side of this, like if you're in Jan's shoes, just

671
00:28:53,240 --> 00:28:55,920
Speaker 1: in our situation, for instance, like what do you say

672
00:28:55,960 --> 00:28:58,760
Speaker 1: to those people, the loved ones, the friends, the supporters

673
00:28:58,760 --> 00:29:01,840
Speaker 1: of somebody that see this person that they love and

674
00:29:01,880 --> 00:29:05,880
Speaker 1: care for self sabotaging themselves, Like at what point, like

675
00:29:05,920 --> 00:29:08,560
Speaker 1: for Jenna for instance, or somebody else. How much should

676
00:29:08,560 --> 00:29:11,400
Speaker 1: they push until they just realize there's no more. I

677
00:29:11,400 --> 00:29:13,120
Speaker 1: can't push anymore, you know what I mean?

678
00:29:13,680 --> 00:29:16,120
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, I know it can be so frustrating. I

679
00:29:16,160 --> 00:29:18,280
Speaker 5: think for a loved one to see, oh my gosh,

680
00:29:18,440 --> 00:29:20,160
Speaker 5: I feel like you want this, but I'm not sure

681
00:29:20,200 --> 00:29:21,760
Speaker 5: if you're just not saying it. And I know that

682
00:29:21,800 --> 00:29:24,440
Speaker 5: you can even do more than what you're doing, but

683
00:29:24,480 --> 00:29:26,760
Speaker 5: they just want you to be happy. I think coming

684
00:29:26,800 --> 00:29:28,880
Speaker 5: from an external place, all you have to do is

685
00:29:28,920 --> 00:29:31,440
Speaker 5: support and validate the person. But at the same time,

686
00:29:31,880 --> 00:29:34,440
Speaker 5: that person it has to come from themselves. So you

687
00:29:34,480 --> 00:29:37,120
Speaker 5: can say that and you can support them and validate them.

688
00:29:37,120 --> 00:29:39,680
Speaker 5: But sometimes it almost even gets like irritating, like okay,

689
00:29:39,800 --> 00:29:43,240
Speaker 5: I understand, you know, like it makes you feel almost frustrated,

690
00:29:43,320 --> 00:29:45,560
Speaker 5: even though they're coming from such a good place. And

691
00:29:45,600 --> 00:29:47,960
Speaker 5: so I always tell people it's a really good thing

692
00:29:48,080 --> 00:29:50,920
Speaker 5: as a loved one to remind the person that you

693
00:29:51,040 --> 00:29:55,160
Speaker 5: love to refocus on their values or their value system

694
00:29:55,440 --> 00:29:57,160
Speaker 5: as a way to get them out of that thinking.

695
00:29:57,360 --> 00:30:00,360
Speaker 5: So values are very different from goals, the thing that

696
00:30:00,360 --> 00:30:01,760
Speaker 5: you can check off the list, right, I can run

697
00:30:01,760 --> 00:30:04,600
Speaker 5: a marathon that can check it off. But values are

698
00:30:04,640 --> 00:30:07,040
Speaker 5: things that you want your life to stand for. It's

699
00:30:07,120 --> 00:30:09,400
Speaker 5: what you want to be remembered by when you die.

700
00:30:09,520 --> 00:30:11,360
Speaker 5: I mean, it's like what people what you want people

701
00:30:11,360 --> 00:30:13,360
Speaker 5: to know you for. So there are things that can't

702
00:30:13,400 --> 00:30:15,080
Speaker 5: be checked off. They're usually things that you want to

703
00:30:15,080 --> 00:30:17,880
Speaker 5: pursue for most of their life, things like integrity, or

704
00:30:18,080 --> 00:30:22,040
Speaker 5: a sense of adventure, or community or spirituality. You know,

705
00:30:22,200 --> 00:30:25,080
Speaker 5: these types of things are examples of common values.

706
00:30:25,320 --> 00:30:26,040
Speaker 1: And I feel like.

707
00:30:26,000 --> 00:30:30,600
Speaker 5: If everybody reshifted and focus on what their values are

708
00:30:30,960 --> 00:30:35,000
Speaker 5: and then derive their goals from their values, not only

709
00:30:35,040 --> 00:30:38,080
Speaker 5: will they find the goal pursue more fulfilling, but they

710
00:30:38,160 --> 00:30:40,959
Speaker 5: might also be willing to take more chances and like

711
00:30:41,160 --> 00:30:43,920
Speaker 5: tolerate the discomfort, whether it's just your negative self talk

712
00:30:44,040 --> 00:30:47,160
Speaker 5: or like you know, like negative emotions because you're like wait,

713
00:30:47,200 --> 00:30:49,560
Speaker 5: but it's in the service of something really important. So,

714
00:30:49,880 --> 00:30:52,880
Speaker 5: for example, if one of your values was honesty, you're

715
00:30:52,920 --> 00:30:54,920
Speaker 5: not going to have an easy road. You know, sometimes

716
00:30:54,920 --> 00:30:56,600
Speaker 5: when you're honest with people, they get mad at you

717
00:30:56,760 --> 00:30:59,480
Speaker 5: and they stop being your friends. But it's in your

718
00:30:59,520 --> 00:31:02,360
Speaker 5: heart you believe that honesty is really important to you,

719
00:31:02,560 --> 00:31:05,520
Speaker 5: then you're more willing to like withstand the distress that

720
00:31:05,640 --> 00:31:07,200
Speaker 5: might come from it. So I feel like that might

721
00:31:07,240 --> 00:31:09,240
Speaker 5: be a really good way for loved ones to like

722
00:31:09,360 --> 00:31:12,360
Speaker 5: help the people that they care about see like something

723
00:31:12,480 --> 00:31:14,880
Speaker 5: different from the kind of thought patterns that they've been in.

724
00:31:15,800 --> 00:31:18,480
Speaker 2: Yeah that makes sense. Yeah, absolutely, What about the people

725
00:31:18,520 --> 00:31:20,239
Speaker 2: like I do this and I know I do this.

726
00:31:21,000 --> 00:31:22,560
Speaker 2: There are so many times and I'm like, I know

727
00:31:22,600 --> 00:31:25,560
Speaker 2: I'm holding myself back. Yeah, I don't know how to

728
00:31:25,560 --> 00:31:25,959
Speaker 2: fix it.

729
00:31:26,760 --> 00:31:29,560
Speaker 5: Yes, I think that that is really common that you

730
00:31:29,600 --> 00:31:32,440
Speaker 5: have that acknowledgment like huh, I'm holding myself back, but like,

731
00:31:32,720 --> 00:31:34,280
Speaker 5: how come I can't get out of it? I think

732
00:31:34,280 --> 00:31:36,080
Speaker 5: that's Yeah, that's part of why I wrote this book

733
00:31:36,080 --> 00:31:38,400
Speaker 5: because people keep saying that, like I'm so frustrated, like

734
00:31:38,440 --> 00:31:41,440
Speaker 5: we need a plan, and so I think the plan

735
00:31:41,720 --> 00:31:44,720
Speaker 5: is always to be able to like check out what

736
00:31:44,840 --> 00:31:47,560
Speaker 5: thoughts you had before you had that feeling of like

737
00:31:47,640 --> 00:31:50,440
Speaker 5: I'm holding myself back, Like once you recognize I know

738
00:31:50,440 --> 00:31:52,480
Speaker 5: I'm holding myself back, but why is it? Like what

739
00:31:52,520 --> 00:31:54,480
Speaker 5: was your thinking before that? Like what was the thought

740
00:31:54,520 --> 00:31:56,720
Speaker 5: that you had just before that? Was it? Well, I

741
00:31:56,760 --> 00:31:59,040
Speaker 5: don't want people to criticize me. Well, I don't want

742
00:31:59,040 --> 00:32:00,840
Speaker 5: to be like a note of know it all and

743
00:32:00,920 --> 00:32:03,040
Speaker 5: show off. I feel like people might not be happy

744
00:32:03,040 --> 00:32:06,000
Speaker 5: for my success, like what was the thought that preceded it.

745
00:32:06,000 --> 00:32:09,400
Speaker 2: It's only like when I'm like, when I'm acting or

746
00:32:09,400 --> 00:32:11,520
Speaker 2: something a cintimes, I'll be like, why don't I just

747
00:32:11,640 --> 00:32:14,160
Speaker 2: let myself? Like I know I'm holding west Like I

748
00:32:14,240 --> 00:32:16,360
Speaker 2: know I am, like, I know that I'm getting in

749
00:32:16,440 --> 00:32:19,080
Speaker 2: the way of my job, but I'm like, but I

750
00:32:19,120 --> 00:32:21,680
Speaker 2: still can't let go. And I don't know if it's

751
00:32:21,680 --> 00:32:25,520
Speaker 2: because I'm afraid to feel, if I'm afraid to do you.

752
00:32:25,400 --> 00:32:27,800
Speaker 1: Want to dive into that, because I would love to hear,

753
00:32:27,840 --> 00:32:29,520
Speaker 1: like what you're how you're holding yourself back?

754
00:32:29,840 --> 00:32:33,080
Speaker 2: I mean because John always tells me, He's like, why

755
00:32:33,080 --> 00:32:35,520
Speaker 2: do you use Like if you let go, you would

756
00:32:35,520 --> 00:32:38,600
Speaker 2: book NonStop And I will start crying immediately because I'm like,

757
00:32:38,640 --> 00:32:40,840
Speaker 2: I but I'm like, I know that, but I don't

758
00:32:40,880 --> 00:32:44,200
Speaker 2: know how to let go. That's the thing. I don't

759
00:32:44,240 --> 00:32:46,160
Speaker 2: know what that piece is. I don't know if it's fear.

760
00:32:46,240 --> 00:32:47,920
Speaker 2: I don't know if I'm afraid of feeling. I don't

761
00:32:47,920 --> 00:32:51,560
Speaker 2: know if I'm afraid of like, I don't know. I'd like,

762
00:32:51,640 --> 00:32:53,840
Speaker 2: I genuinely don't know, and I know it like every

763
00:32:53,840 --> 00:32:55,880
Speaker 2: time I'm even like auditioning, I'm like, I know, I'm

764
00:32:55,920 --> 00:32:58,080
Speaker 2: like holding myself back right now, and I'm like, why

765
00:32:58,120 --> 00:33:00,240
Speaker 2: am I doing this to myself? But I can out

766
00:33:00,480 --> 00:33:03,200
Speaker 2: physically let go, And the times that I have, I've

767
00:33:03,200 --> 00:33:05,320
Speaker 2: done it maybe twice. Remember when I was on a

768
00:33:05,560 --> 00:33:08,400
Speaker 2: tree hill and I baled afterwards because I was just

769
00:33:08,440 --> 00:33:10,440
Speaker 2: like it was such a I just and I don't

770
00:33:10,520 --> 00:33:13,840
Speaker 2: know why. I don't know. I literally don't.

771
00:33:13,640 --> 00:33:14,200
Speaker 1: Have the answer.

772
00:33:15,520 --> 00:33:17,560
Speaker 5: It's actually say, I'm glad that Mike asked you to

773
00:33:17,600 --> 00:33:19,600
Speaker 5: dive into it more because it kind of gives some

774
00:33:19,720 --> 00:33:21,400
Speaker 5: context to it, and I think we have to kind

775
00:33:21,400 --> 00:33:23,920
Speaker 5: of shift back to that whole life acronym and see

776
00:33:24,120 --> 00:33:26,479
Speaker 5: what is really getting in the way there. And as

777
00:33:26,520 --> 00:33:28,480
Speaker 5: I'm hearing you talk about it, it almost feels a

778
00:33:28,520 --> 00:33:32,360
Speaker 5: little bit like that the E it stands for excessive

779
00:33:32,360 --> 00:33:34,560
Speaker 5: needs for control. I mean, these are like the overachievers,

780
00:33:34,600 --> 00:33:36,680
Speaker 5: you know, people who are like you know, they're I mean,

781
00:33:36,680 --> 00:33:38,920
Speaker 5: they've gotten where they are because they were in control,

782
00:33:39,040 --> 00:33:41,160
Speaker 5: like because that's what set them apart and it's what

783
00:33:41,360 --> 00:33:44,040
Speaker 5: made them achieve as much as they did. But also

784
00:33:44,280 --> 00:33:47,360
Speaker 5: that part of them can also hold themselves back, especially

785
00:33:47,400 --> 00:33:50,600
Speaker 5: in like a creative in a creative environment, Like that's

786
00:33:50,640 --> 00:33:53,240
Speaker 5: an actor. Like if you let it go, I mean,

787
00:33:53,280 --> 00:33:56,200
Speaker 5: like you're putting your whole self out there. You're so vulnerable,

788
00:33:57,000 --> 00:34:00,240
Speaker 5: and it's like almost that sense of like if I

789
00:34:00,320 --> 00:34:02,720
Speaker 5: let go of control, like what might happen? I mean, yes,

790
00:34:02,800 --> 00:34:05,880
Speaker 5: something amazing could happen, or maybe not, what if it

791
00:34:05,920 --> 00:34:08,080
Speaker 5: isn't good, or like what if somebody says something? And

792
00:34:08,160 --> 00:34:11,160
Speaker 5: like maybe those types of things could could potentially get

793
00:34:11,160 --> 00:34:13,080
Speaker 5: in the way of you doing something that you know

794
00:34:13,120 --> 00:34:15,120
Speaker 5: you have the capacity for. I mean, does that sound

795
00:34:15,200 --> 00:34:18,600
Speaker 5: like similar like something that you felt before?

796
00:34:18,880 --> 00:34:20,479
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, for sure.

797
00:34:21,120 --> 00:34:23,120
Speaker 1: So it's just kind of be purely fear based, right,

798
00:34:23,160 --> 00:34:24,680
Speaker 1: just self sabotaging in general.

799
00:34:25,480 --> 00:34:28,400
Speaker 5: Well, it's a good question because I always look at

800
00:34:28,400 --> 00:34:30,960
Speaker 5: self sabotage as a very universal phenomenon. Like when people

801
00:34:31,000 --> 00:34:33,600
Speaker 5: are like, oh, I don't self sabotage, I'm like, I

802
00:34:33,640 --> 00:34:36,520
Speaker 5: think everybody does sometimes, and then they'll find like maybe

803
00:34:36,520 --> 00:34:38,680
Speaker 5: one area of their life where they're holding themselves back,

804
00:34:38,719 --> 00:34:41,200
Speaker 5: like maybe it's not love, but it's their career, or

805
00:34:41,200 --> 00:34:44,279
Speaker 5: maybe it's not their career, but it's their diet, you know,

806
00:34:44,400 --> 00:34:46,520
Speaker 5: whatever it is. It's usually it's one or two areas.

807
00:34:46,520 --> 00:34:50,160
Speaker 5: Not everybody self sabotages everything, and in fact what nobody does,

808
00:34:50,520 --> 00:34:53,240
Speaker 5: and so it is in some ways fear based because

809
00:34:53,280 --> 00:34:56,879
Speaker 5: there is a very biological and evolutionary aspect of self

810
00:34:56,880 --> 00:34:59,640
Speaker 5: sabotage in my opinion, You know, when we think about

811
00:34:59,719 --> 00:35:01,799
Speaker 5: human being, like what's led to our survival is only

812
00:35:01,800 --> 00:35:05,320
Speaker 5: two things. It's either attaining rewards or avoiding threat, and

813
00:35:05,320 --> 00:35:07,200
Speaker 5: we kind of have to do both in balance, right,

814
00:35:07,239 --> 00:35:09,480
Speaker 5: we have to keep going for the rewards, but we

815
00:35:09,520 --> 00:35:12,120
Speaker 5: also have to avoid threats well. In our modern day

816
00:35:12,239 --> 00:35:14,920
Speaker 5: threat is not a saber tooth tiger. For most of us,

817
00:35:14,920 --> 00:35:17,279
Speaker 5: we're lucky enough that it's not a physical threat. But

818
00:35:17,320 --> 00:35:19,920
Speaker 5: it's more of like an emotional or psychological threat. It's

819
00:35:19,920 --> 00:35:21,759
Speaker 5: like the fear of failure, or like the fear that

820
00:35:21,800 --> 00:35:23,440
Speaker 5: you won't get to where you need to go, or

821
00:35:23,680 --> 00:35:25,960
Speaker 5: the fear that you might be ridiculed, or you know what,

822
00:35:26,000 --> 00:35:27,799
Speaker 5: if you try really hard and you still don't get

823
00:35:27,800 --> 00:35:29,359
Speaker 5: to your goal, then what does that mean about you

824
00:35:29,400 --> 00:35:31,719
Speaker 5: as a person. And those types of things when they

825
00:35:31,760 --> 00:35:36,160
Speaker 5: take over and when that switch happens where you prioritize

826
00:35:36,400 --> 00:35:40,600
Speaker 5: fear reduction more than attaining rewards. That's when you self sabotage.

827
00:35:41,239 --> 00:35:44,160
Speaker 2: Interesting, what's like, I mean, obviously the first step would

828
00:35:44,160 --> 00:35:49,879
Speaker 2: be to read your book, but in the immediate fix, Yes,

829
00:35:50,239 --> 00:35:50,640
Speaker 2: what is.

830
00:35:50,600 --> 00:35:53,920
Speaker 5: The first Well, I think the first thing you know

831
00:35:54,120 --> 00:35:57,120
Speaker 5: is again recognize that it's biological and universal, because if

832
00:35:57,120 --> 00:35:59,400
Speaker 5: you're like ashamed about it or you think is just

833
00:35:59,480 --> 00:36:02,200
Speaker 5: you are more likely not to tackle the problem. So like,

834
00:36:02,320 --> 00:36:04,600
Speaker 5: just know that and accept that everybody does it and

835
00:36:04,640 --> 00:36:07,360
Speaker 5: that you're not alone, so it's all good. And know

836
00:36:07,480 --> 00:36:08,960
Speaker 5: that there's a fix. You know, know that there is

837
00:36:09,000 --> 00:36:11,480
Speaker 5: a fix. I think that that's really the most important step.

838
00:36:11,680 --> 00:36:14,120
Speaker 5: And then the second step is to look at your thoughts.

839
00:36:14,200 --> 00:36:16,760
Speaker 5: You know, what are the thoughts that precede a negative

840
00:36:16,760 --> 00:36:19,399
Speaker 5: emotion or an action that you wish you didn't take

841
00:36:19,600 --> 00:36:22,160
Speaker 5: or when you didn't realize your self sabotage, Like what

842
00:36:22,200 --> 00:36:23,919
Speaker 5: was the thought that you had before that? And once

843
00:36:23,960 --> 00:36:27,440
Speaker 5: you locate that thought, you'll probably start to see patterns

844
00:36:27,480 --> 00:36:29,200
Speaker 5: to it that, like this thought has come up before.

845
00:36:29,600 --> 00:36:31,160
Speaker 5: Then you can start to work with it. And so

846
00:36:31,360 --> 00:36:34,000
Speaker 5: one thing that you can do after that is to

847
00:36:34,200 --> 00:36:37,520
Speaker 5: try to reshift your thinking. And so there's two ways

848
00:36:37,560 --> 00:36:39,200
Speaker 5: to reshift your thinking, and I talk about it in

849
00:36:39,239 --> 00:36:42,640
Speaker 5: my book, and one way to reshift it is to

850
00:36:42,880 --> 00:36:44,560
Speaker 5: try to have a more balanced thought. Most of the

851
00:36:44,600 --> 00:36:47,920
Speaker 5: signs are automatic thoughts are very like critical and that

852
00:36:48,040 --> 00:36:50,279
Speaker 5: they only look at one side of the picture. So

853
00:36:50,760 --> 00:36:53,080
Speaker 5: there's a really quick technique that I have called yes

854
00:36:53,160 --> 00:36:56,000
Speaker 5: but and it means that you acknowledge the happy part

855
00:36:56,000 --> 00:36:59,239
Speaker 5: of this situation, but you also acknowledge this other thing

856
00:36:59,280 --> 00:37:02,480
Speaker 5: that you know you're already making progress, that you're already

857
00:37:02,480 --> 00:37:05,840
Speaker 5: doing something to improve. So for example, you know, somebody,

858
00:37:06,040 --> 00:37:08,600
Speaker 5: you know, somebody that I was working with in my

859
00:37:09,560 --> 00:37:11,520
Speaker 5: private practice, was saying that they don't think that they're

860
00:37:11,560 --> 00:37:14,360
Speaker 5: ever going to reach their fitness goals. And then you

861
00:37:14,400 --> 00:37:16,319
Speaker 5: know they're like, I'm never going to reach my fitness goals.

862
00:37:16,320 --> 00:37:18,359
Speaker 5: I'm like, well that is a very black and white thought,

863
00:37:18,400 --> 00:37:20,040
Speaker 5: So like, how can we change is to recognize how

864
00:37:20,080 --> 00:37:22,520
Speaker 5: you feel, but like also recognize what you're doing, So

865
00:37:22,600 --> 00:37:25,280
Speaker 5: then you change the thought too. Yes, this is taking

866
00:37:25,360 --> 00:37:27,840
Speaker 5: much longer than I thought it was, but I'm making

867
00:37:27,880 --> 00:37:30,759
Speaker 5: progress every day. Case in point, today I went for

868
00:37:30,800 --> 00:37:33,160
Speaker 5: a run for thirty minutes before I came to the session, right,

869
00:37:33,200 --> 00:37:36,000
Speaker 5: I mean, so it's almost like saying yes to the

870
00:37:36,040 --> 00:37:38,960
Speaker 5: part that isn't so great right now, but also saying,

871
00:37:39,760 --> 00:37:42,080
Speaker 5: but what is better? You know what has been shifting,

872
00:37:42,120 --> 00:37:44,640
Speaker 5: and just recognizing that and that balanced thought will just

873
00:37:44,719 --> 00:37:47,120
Speaker 5: change the way that you feel. But sometimes it's just

874
00:37:47,160 --> 00:37:48,880
Speaker 5: in such a crappy mood that you're not even going

875
00:37:48,960 --> 00:37:50,279
Speaker 5: to want to do the yes butt You're like, I

876
00:37:50,400 --> 00:37:52,080
Speaker 5: know the yes, but but I can do it and

877
00:37:52,120 --> 00:37:55,239
Speaker 5: my heart's not in it, and that's fine. Sometimes you

878
00:37:55,280 --> 00:37:58,120
Speaker 5: can change the thoughts, but you can change your relationship

879
00:37:58,160 --> 00:38:01,160
Speaker 5: to it. So oftentimes we have a and we automatically

880
00:38:01,160 --> 00:38:03,200
Speaker 5: think it's true because that's like the power of thoughts,

881
00:38:03,400 --> 00:38:04,560
Speaker 5: Like you have it and you're like, oh my god,

882
00:38:04,600 --> 00:38:07,480
Speaker 5: it's happening, you know. So what I encourage people to

883
00:38:07,480 --> 00:38:11,280
Speaker 5: do is to use a technique called labeling. And labeling

884
00:38:11,440 --> 00:38:13,880
Speaker 5: just means that you're labeling the thought just as it is.

885
00:38:13,920 --> 00:38:15,879
Speaker 5: It's all it is is a mental event. It's just

886
00:38:15,960 --> 00:38:18,600
Speaker 5: an event. It's not saying that's true or not. So

887
00:38:18,840 --> 00:38:21,400
Speaker 5: if you have a thought, for example, like oh my gosh,

888
00:38:21,480 --> 00:38:24,839
Speaker 5: I'm never going to find a better job. Instead of

889
00:38:25,120 --> 00:38:27,120
Speaker 5: just leaving that thought as it is or even trying

890
00:38:27,120 --> 00:38:30,080
Speaker 5: to change it, one alternate way to do this is

891
00:38:30,200 --> 00:38:33,280
Speaker 5: just to put a little just tack a little sentence

892
00:38:33,320 --> 00:38:36,840
Speaker 5: before that, and that sentence is I'm having the thought that,

893
00:38:37,640 --> 00:38:40,680
Speaker 5: So then that becomes I'm having the thought that I'm

894
00:38:40,680 --> 00:38:43,080
Speaker 5: never going to find a better job, and it does

895
00:38:43,200 --> 00:38:45,400
Speaker 5: take the win out of the sales a little bit

896
00:38:45,400 --> 00:38:47,400
Speaker 5: of that original thought like, oh, I'm just having a

897
00:38:47,440 --> 00:38:49,600
Speaker 5: thought that that's happening, doesn't mean that it is, you know,

898
00:38:49,680 --> 00:38:52,960
Speaker 5: and even that small, little quick substitution can really help people.

899
00:38:53,920 --> 00:38:57,960
Speaker 1: Absolutely, And do you mentioned the whole the life acronym.

900
00:38:57,960 --> 00:38:59,520
Speaker 1: And I have one last question for you. Is there

901
00:38:59,560 --> 00:39:03,280
Speaker 1: any kind kind of test or evaluation that just anyone

902
00:39:03,280 --> 00:39:04,880
Speaker 1: could take to be like, all right, what kind of

903
00:39:04,880 --> 00:39:06,280
Speaker 1: sabotaging am I doing?

904
00:39:07,440 --> 00:39:09,520
Speaker 5: Yes, there is. So I actually have this up on

905
00:39:09,560 --> 00:39:12,880
Speaker 5: my website and it's free to take. And my website

906
00:39:12,920 --> 00:39:19,080
Speaker 5: is doctor judyho dot com and the actual website link

907
00:39:19,800 --> 00:39:23,680
Speaker 5: for the quiz it's doctorg dot com and then it's

908
00:39:23,760 --> 00:39:27,880
Speaker 5: backplast stop self Sabotage quiz and so definitely go and

909
00:39:27,960 --> 00:39:30,239
Speaker 5: check it out. So quiz takes like five minutes and

910
00:39:30,680 --> 00:39:33,600
Speaker 5: you can identify your primary life factor right there and

911
00:39:33,600 --> 00:39:34,840
Speaker 5: then know how to move forward from.

912
00:39:34,680 --> 00:39:38,120
Speaker 1: There perfect well, Jane and I are definitely probably going

913
00:39:38,200 --> 00:39:38,920
Speaker 1: to do that today.

914
00:39:39,080 --> 00:39:39,400
Speaker 2: Thank you.

915
00:39:39,600 --> 00:39:42,399
Speaker 1: And besides your website, where else can our listeners find you?

916
00:39:43,280 --> 00:39:45,640
Speaker 5: Well, you can find me on social media on Instagram

917
00:39:45,719 --> 00:39:48,279
Speaker 5: and Twitter at doctor Judy host. So that's d R

918
00:39:48,800 --> 00:39:51,239
Speaker 5: j U d y h O. And I just want

919
00:39:51,280 --> 00:39:54,000
Speaker 5: to encourage everybody to start watching season twelve of The Doctors.

920
00:39:54,040 --> 00:39:56,279
Speaker 5: I'm a co host for season twelve and we got

921
00:39:56,560 --> 00:39:58,839
Speaker 5: really cool topics coming up. Yeah, yay.

922
00:39:59,280 --> 00:40:02,000
Speaker 2: I love the Doctor. I was on there when I

923
00:40:02,040 --> 00:40:04,200
Speaker 2: was pregnant last year. I was They're so sweet.

924
00:40:04,880 --> 00:40:07,200
Speaker 5: Oh, I know, there's like a delight to work with.

925
00:40:07,239 --> 00:40:09,879
Speaker 5: It's crazy. It's like you get exactly what you see.

926
00:40:09,880 --> 00:40:11,320
Speaker 5: They're really amazing people.

927
00:40:11,520 --> 00:40:14,319
Speaker 2: Yeah, I love them. Well, congratulations and again, seriously, thank

928
00:40:14,360 --> 00:40:17,240
Speaker 2: you so much. This has been eye opening.

929
00:40:17,440 --> 00:40:18,160
Speaker 1: It has been.

930
00:40:18,280 --> 00:40:20,479
Speaker 5: Oh it's been a real plague of talking to you guys,

931
00:40:20,480 --> 00:40:22,160
Speaker 5: and I hope to keep in touch with you both.

932
00:40:22,600 --> 00:40:24,839
Speaker 1: Absolutely. Thank you, Doctor Judy, appreciate it.

933
00:40:24,840 --> 00:40:25,239
Speaker 2: Thank you.

934
00:40:25,800 --> 00:40:26,719
Speaker 5: Okay, talk to you I soon.

935
00:40:26,880 --> 00:40:27,840
Speaker 1: Bye, all right, bye.

936
00:40:27,680 --> 00:40:41,040
Speaker 2: Bye bye, Mark Easton, Jenna, Janna, Where are you guys

937
00:40:41,040 --> 00:40:43,600
Speaker 2: holding back in your life? Where are you self sabotaging?

938
00:40:43,960 --> 00:40:46,359
Speaker 3: I've thought of this, I mean professionally, things have gone

939
00:40:46,440 --> 00:40:48,160
Speaker 3: well for me, but there are all kinds of things

940
00:40:48,320 --> 00:40:50,319
Speaker 3: I would have liked to have done in my life,

941
00:40:50,360 --> 00:40:52,360
Speaker 3: and the fact that I speak of it that way

942
00:40:53,239 --> 00:40:54,759
Speaker 3: is a form of self test sabotage.

943
00:40:55,719 --> 00:40:57,160
Speaker 2: Like I'm not you still have time.

944
00:40:57,640 --> 00:40:59,759
Speaker 3: I don't have to say, oh I could have been there,

945
00:41:00,000 --> 00:41:01,440
Speaker 3: I could have done this. I could still go out

946
00:41:01,480 --> 00:41:04,560
Speaker 3: and do those things. But I don't see myself doing that.

947
00:41:05,680 --> 00:41:10,960
Speaker 3: Why not because I'm comfortable, you know what I'm saying, Like, like,

948
00:41:11,040 --> 00:41:15,480
Speaker 3: I got my routine, I enjoy my job, I'm paid well,

949
00:41:15,840 --> 00:41:18,879
Speaker 3: Like I feel like this is I feel like I'm

950
00:41:19,200 --> 00:41:21,239
Speaker 3: a comfort level, like this is it. But then I think, oh,

951
00:41:21,280 --> 00:41:23,080
Speaker 3: that'd be so cool to do that, But like, do

952
00:41:23,120 --> 00:41:25,440
Speaker 3: you really jump from something that's working?

953
00:41:25,480 --> 00:41:26,920
Speaker 2: Like what? Like what would you want to know?

954
00:41:27,080 --> 00:41:28,920
Speaker 3: I've always wanted to do baseball. I've always wanted to

955
00:41:28,920 --> 00:41:31,080
Speaker 3: do play by play baseball on the radio.

956
00:41:31,320 --> 00:41:33,080
Speaker 2: Oh, I thought you meant like professionally, I'm.

957
00:41:32,880 --> 00:41:40,239
Speaker 3: Like, Mark, I've always wanted to be a baseball announcer,

958
00:41:40,280 --> 00:41:41,640
Speaker 3: and I think i'd be really good at it, but

959
00:41:41,760 --> 00:41:42,759
Speaker 3: you'd be so wait let.

960
00:41:42,680 --> 00:41:45,320
Speaker 2: Me hear, Okay, Mark, this is your audition for a

961
00:41:45,360 --> 00:41:47,520
Speaker 2: baseball announcing six.

962
00:41:48,920 --> 00:41:51,520
Speaker 3: Yeah, there you go go ahead. Let me hear swinging

963
00:41:51,520 --> 00:41:53,239
Speaker 3: the ground all the short for the second for one

964
00:41:53,320 --> 00:41:55,439
Speaker 3: off the first. It's a double play. That's what I meant.

965
00:41:55,960 --> 00:41:58,239
Speaker 1: Absolutely, it's perfect at it.

966
00:41:58,239 --> 00:42:00,560
Speaker 3: It's it's always going in my head. I'm watching a

967
00:42:00,560 --> 00:42:01,200
Speaker 3: baseball game.

968
00:42:02,040 --> 00:42:04,440
Speaker 1: How you would how you would kind of come yeah.

969
00:42:04,920 --> 00:42:07,360
Speaker 2: So let's do it. I mean, why can't you do both?

970
00:42:07,800 --> 00:42:11,200
Speaker 3: I mean there's there's because I think that involves climbing

971
00:42:11,200 --> 00:42:13,799
Speaker 3: a ladder like any other job. I have zero experience

972
00:42:13,840 --> 00:42:17,920
Speaker 3: doing it. So I'd have to move to I don't know, Birmingham,

973
00:42:17,960 --> 00:42:22,920
Speaker 3: Alabama or in West Virginia and start there and climb

974
00:42:22,920 --> 00:42:23,840
Speaker 3: the minor league ladder.

975
00:42:23,840 --> 00:42:25,120
Speaker 1: And I'm not doing that. I got kids.

976
00:42:25,120 --> 00:42:26,080
Speaker 2: But you got Seacrest.

977
00:42:26,560 --> 00:42:27,240
Speaker 3: I got Seacrest.

978
00:42:27,560 --> 00:42:29,640
Speaker 2: Couldn't he help you out? Can he make a few calls?

979
00:42:30,080 --> 00:42:32,839
Speaker 2: I mean you have to also, you know, use your

980
00:42:32,880 --> 00:42:33,759
Speaker 2: context you have.

981
00:42:34,400 --> 00:42:35,399
Speaker 3: Yes, yes, that's true.

982
00:42:36,200 --> 00:42:37,440
Speaker 1: It's still different worlds.

983
00:42:37,800 --> 00:42:39,680
Speaker 2: I understand that, but it's.

984
00:42:39,560 --> 00:42:42,080
Speaker 3: Still I think that Will just have to have made

985
00:42:42,120 --> 00:42:43,160
Speaker 3: a dream.

986
00:42:43,520 --> 00:42:44,799
Speaker 2: See that's what bothers me.

987
00:42:45,000 --> 00:42:50,040
Speaker 1: But but I think mark mark dream is very similar

988
00:42:50,080 --> 00:42:53,040
Speaker 1: to what I, Yes, what I'd love to do sports

989
00:42:53,040 --> 00:42:56,120
Speaker 1: casting A that'd be fantastic, but it's the same kind

990
00:42:56,120 --> 00:42:58,560
Speaker 1: of deal you'd have to start out we're commentating the game.

991
00:42:58,640 --> 00:43:02,279
Speaker 1: Guess what I'll begin in the garbage games? You know,

992
00:43:02,480 --> 00:43:04,120
Speaker 1: d two games somewhere somewhere.

993
00:43:04,120 --> 00:43:05,160
Speaker 2: How would be you sound right?

994
00:43:05,280 --> 00:43:07,160
Speaker 1: But we have but we have two young kids. That

995
00:43:07,239 --> 00:43:11,520
Speaker 1: means traveling during the fall to traveling every weekend.

996
00:43:11,600 --> 00:43:13,719
Speaker 2: If it's your dream and what you want to do,

997
00:43:13,840 --> 00:43:16,000
Speaker 2: you can't You're not going to be Meryl Streep tomorrow,

998
00:43:16,520 --> 00:43:17,160
Speaker 2: you know what I mean?

999
00:43:17,520 --> 00:43:19,920
Speaker 3: Would you be fine with Michael being gone Thursday, no,

1000
00:43:20,320 --> 00:43:22,080
Speaker 3: Sunday or Monday every single week.

1001
00:43:21,960 --> 00:43:24,759
Speaker 2: If it's something if look at he what he said

1002
00:43:24,760 --> 00:43:26,160
Speaker 2: when he retired, He's like, I want to be a

1003
00:43:26,160 --> 00:43:29,719
Speaker 2: police officer. And I said, whatever you want to do

1004
00:43:29,760 --> 00:43:32,480
Speaker 2: that will make you happy? Sure what, I love him

1005
00:43:32,480 --> 00:43:34,000
Speaker 2: doing shift work. No, I mean it would really suck

1006
00:43:34,040 --> 00:43:35,360
Speaker 2: for the family. But at the same time, if it

1007
00:43:35,360 --> 00:43:37,440
Speaker 2: would make him happy, I'm not going to like be

1008
00:43:37,520 --> 00:43:39,720
Speaker 2: moping around the house if it's something that he truly

1009
00:43:39,760 --> 00:43:42,000
Speaker 2: wants to do. And he was like, so he went

1010
00:43:42,040 --> 00:43:45,799
Speaker 2: to the the orientation to be a cop, you.

1011
00:43:45,760 --> 00:43:48,560
Speaker 1: Know, and he he ended up with the ultimate goal

1012
00:43:48,600 --> 00:43:49,800
Speaker 1: of going into the FBI.

1013
00:43:50,000 --> 00:43:52,720
Speaker 2: But and that's something where you know, I was totally

1014
00:43:52,719 --> 00:43:55,480
Speaker 2: behind him because I just I want him so badly

1015
00:43:55,640 --> 00:43:58,480
Speaker 2: to do what he wants to do and love what

1016
00:43:58,560 --> 00:43:59,200
Speaker 2: he wants to do.

1017
00:43:59,640 --> 00:44:01,640
Speaker 1: Well, look, those dreams are gone because I can't be

1018
00:44:01,640 --> 00:44:03,440
Speaker 1: a secret agent when all of our life is already

1019
00:44:03,440 --> 00:44:05,840
Speaker 1: out there and publicized, so I can't. I can't do

1020
00:44:05,920 --> 00:44:06,400
Speaker 1: that anyway.

1021
00:44:06,760 --> 00:44:07,799
Speaker 2: I'm the reason why I.

1022
00:44:07,800 --> 00:44:09,839
Speaker 3: Dreams you'd be a great color commentator.

1023
00:44:10,400 --> 00:44:12,960
Speaker 2: I think you would be amazing at sports broadcasting. I

1024
00:44:13,000 --> 00:44:15,000
Speaker 2: think you'd be incredible. And there's so many things where

1025
00:44:15,000 --> 00:44:16,680
Speaker 2: it's like and I'm like, yeah, you're not going to

1026
00:44:16,760 --> 00:44:19,960
Speaker 2: go to you know, the top one right away. You're

1027
00:44:20,000 --> 00:44:21,960
Speaker 2: not going to be freaking right.

1028
00:44:21,840 --> 00:44:25,400
Speaker 1: But I also know this. It isn't just messed up myself.

1029
00:44:25,440 --> 00:44:28,279
Speaker 1: It's also because I don't want to necessarily be away

1030
00:44:28,280 --> 00:44:31,799
Speaker 1: from the kids, like like Mark said, Thursday probably till

1031
00:44:31,840 --> 00:44:36,240
Speaker 1: Sunday morning every single week during the fall, like literally

1032
00:44:36,320 --> 00:44:38,040
Speaker 1: that that's how it have to be, because I would

1033
00:44:38,080 --> 00:44:40,160
Speaker 1: be on the road from Thursday to Sunday every single

1034
00:44:40,200 --> 00:44:43,719
Speaker 1: week during the fall and if summer beginning through the fall,

1035
00:44:43,800 --> 00:44:45,799
Speaker 1: because I would have to be doing these games all

1036
00:44:45,800 --> 00:44:48,560
Speaker 1: over the country. Yeah. So it's like, do I do

1037
00:44:48,680 --> 00:44:51,000
Speaker 1: I personally want to be away from my family that much?

1038
00:44:51,160 --> 00:44:54,040
Speaker 2: I mean, I get that. Yeah, I get that. And

1039
00:44:54,200 --> 00:44:55,600
Speaker 2: that is exactly what I was gonna say, is like

1040
00:44:56,280 --> 00:44:59,920
Speaker 2: I don't enjoy touring anymore because I'm away from you guys.

1041
00:44:59,800 --> 00:45:03,560
Speaker 1: Right, and so we can bring the whole family on

1042
00:45:03,600 --> 00:45:05,920
Speaker 1: the bus, liked Jolie early on.

1043
00:45:06,000 --> 00:45:07,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, And it takes the fun away from it. And

1044
00:45:07,600 --> 00:45:09,960
Speaker 2: then I'm like, I'm miserable. I have fun when I'm

1045
00:45:09,960 --> 00:45:12,479
Speaker 2: playing my show, but I'm miserable in my bus sitting

1046
00:45:12,480 --> 00:45:14,439
Speaker 2: there all day, you know, missing my family.

1047
00:45:14,239 --> 00:45:14,880
Speaker 1: Right exactly.

1048
00:45:14,960 --> 00:45:17,680
Speaker 3: So, Mike, it sounds like, I mean, it's something you

1049
00:45:17,680 --> 00:45:20,240
Speaker 3: would enjoy doing, but it sounds like the negatives outeigh

1050
00:45:20,239 --> 00:45:22,880
Speaker 3: the positives at this point.

1051
00:45:22,960 --> 00:45:27,480
Speaker 2: Yes, unless he is on like Game day. Yeah, and

1052
00:45:27,520 --> 00:45:30,839
Speaker 2: that's what I call from Fox Sports and the Yeah,

1053
00:45:31,360 --> 00:45:32,480
Speaker 2: which again.

1054
00:45:32,480 --> 00:45:34,600
Speaker 1: Come sit with Howie Long and the Terry Bradshaw and

1055
00:45:34,600 --> 00:45:37,160
Speaker 1: the rest of the crew. Sure, I guess I can

1056
00:45:37,200 --> 00:45:37,480
Speaker 1: do that.

1057
00:45:41,440 --> 00:45:43,399
Speaker 2: I heard Torri it would be good.

1058
00:45:43,520 --> 00:45:45,600
Speaker 3: I mean, that's the thing is she'd be so good here.

1059
00:45:46,040 --> 00:45:47,879
Speaker 3: You're funny, You've got a good voice.

1060
00:45:47,680 --> 00:45:50,319
Speaker 2: You know, And I get that he's not, you know,

1061
00:45:50,920 --> 00:45:53,319
Speaker 2: I mean the guys that I'm sure Andrew luck is

1062
00:45:53,320 --> 00:45:54,680
Speaker 2: going to be the next dude sitting.

1063
00:45:54,480 --> 00:45:57,480
Speaker 1: There, but he doesn't have the person that I'm just.

1064
00:45:57,440 --> 00:46:00,440
Speaker 2: Saying, like, those guys will get that opportunity first. The

1065
00:46:00,480 --> 00:46:01,280
Speaker 2: same time.

1066
00:46:02,160 --> 00:46:04,640
Speaker 1: Walked straight off the field into a booth. Tony Romo

1067
00:46:04,680 --> 00:46:06,000
Speaker 1: struck straight off the field.

1068
00:46:06,640 --> 00:46:11,279
Speaker 2: Somehow to Seacrest. So you've got Seacrest to but we

1069
00:46:11,400 --> 00:46:16,400
Speaker 2: got Seacrest. Oh lord.

1070
00:46:18,560 --> 00:46:21,319
Speaker 1: I have some emails if you'd like, or we have

1071
00:46:21,400 --> 00:46:22,920
Speaker 1: one thing we want to bring up though.

1072
00:46:23,040 --> 00:46:24,080
Speaker 2: We put time out before that.

1073
00:46:24,120 --> 00:46:24,279
Speaker 1: Though.

1074
00:46:24,320 --> 00:46:26,120
Speaker 2: We are going on a wine down tour, which we're

1075
00:46:26,200 --> 00:46:28,919
Speaker 2: very excited about, and you can get your tickets Jana

1076
00:46:28,920 --> 00:46:37,200
Speaker 2: Cramer dot com. We're going to Chicago, Michigan, Louisville, filled Up, Pennsylvania, Philadelphia, Boston.

1077
00:46:37,560 --> 00:46:39,000
Speaker 2: Are we going to Boston and that was last year?

1078
00:46:39,040 --> 00:46:39,360
Speaker 1: I don't know.

1079
00:46:39,440 --> 00:46:41,160
Speaker 2: Just go on Jana Cremer dot com. We're coming to

1080
00:46:41,239 --> 00:46:42,560
Speaker 2: you see you. We're so excited.

1081
00:46:43,480 --> 00:46:43,880
Speaker 3: The brewery.

1082
00:46:44,760 --> 00:46:48,239
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, we're coming there on Saturday. Stry I'm so.

1083
00:46:48,200 --> 00:46:50,040
Speaker 3: Excited Irwindale Brewery.

1084
00:46:51,280 --> 00:46:53,839
Speaker 2: I'm so pumped about that. I'm so excited to see you.

1085
00:46:54,480 --> 00:46:55,920
Speaker 2: I know, I'm excited to see you too. I texted

1086
00:46:55,920 --> 00:46:58,880
Speaker 2: Toy yesterday and I was I'm so excited to see you.

1087
00:46:59,120 --> 00:47:02,440
Speaker 2: She's like, I'm I'm hosting. I have my wine glass,

1088
00:47:02,640 --> 00:47:05,200
Speaker 2: I'm ready to roll. I did. I was super pumped,

1089
00:47:05,239 --> 00:47:06,160
Speaker 2: and I'm super pumped.

1090
00:47:06,480 --> 00:47:08,200
Speaker 1: It's gonna be so much fun. We're gonna have a blast.

1091
00:47:08,280 --> 00:47:09,720
Speaker 2: It's gonna be fun. It's gonna be so much fun.

1092
00:47:12,080 --> 00:47:15,600
Speaker 1: Real quick. Yeah, So we promised what do we promise

1093
00:47:15,719 --> 00:47:16,320
Speaker 1: the listeners?

1094
00:47:16,600 --> 00:47:17,200
Speaker 2: The listeners?

1095
00:47:17,400 --> 00:47:21,319
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, so we mentioned to the listeners that we

1096
00:47:21,320 --> 00:47:24,000
Speaker 1: were going to sit that you forgot it. I've been waiting.

1097
00:47:24,160 --> 00:47:27,680
Speaker 2: It's called the five minute breakdown, okay, of.

1098
00:47:27,600 --> 00:47:32,000
Speaker 1: A new segment that we're going to be doing every week. Yeah,

1099
00:47:32,239 --> 00:47:36,560
Speaker 1: we have homework. Every week is the five minute breakdown

1100
00:47:36,800 --> 00:47:39,080
Speaker 1: of the One Tree Hill episode that we just watched.

1101
00:47:39,239 --> 00:47:43,719
Speaker 2: So I've we have never I've never seen One Tree Hill.

1102
00:47:44,520 --> 00:47:48,239
Speaker 2: Michael's never seen One Tree Hill. And from being on

1103
00:47:48,280 --> 00:47:51,600
Speaker 2: the show for three years, I feel quite bad that

1104
00:47:51,640 --> 00:47:54,160
Speaker 2: I've never even watched an episode the.

1105
00:47:54,160 --> 00:47:58,560
Speaker 1: Best Have any of you watched it? Tory Easton, No Business?

1106
00:47:59,120 --> 00:47:59,600
Speaker 1: Love it?

1107
00:47:59,680 --> 00:48:04,520
Speaker 2: Okay, So we're yesterday, Okay, sorry.

1108
00:48:03,080 --> 00:48:07,799
Speaker 1: So we started the first episode okay, and I don't

1109
00:48:07,840 --> 00:48:10,719
Speaker 1: remember the actors' names. I know Chad Michael Murray, but

1110
00:48:10,719 --> 00:48:13,680
Speaker 1: then the other one that plays Nathan Scott, Nathan Scott,

1111
00:48:13,840 --> 00:48:15,080
Speaker 1: Lucas Scott, Nathan Scott.

1112
00:48:15,640 --> 00:48:19,000
Speaker 6: So by the way that the show starts, the show

1113
00:48:19,040 --> 00:48:22,000
Speaker 6: starts and they show Nathan Scott and Lucas Scott, and

1114
00:48:22,040 --> 00:48:26,200
Speaker 6: then once you realize their brothers, Janna goes, wait, their brothers.

1115
00:48:25,920 --> 00:48:32,560
Speaker 2: Had no idea that they were brothers. Lying, swear you're lying. No,

1116
00:48:32,680 --> 00:48:37,520
Speaker 2: I swear the whole storyline. But I told you I

1117
00:48:37,640 --> 00:48:41,640
Speaker 2: knew nothing about the show. When I got on the show,

1118
00:48:41,840 --> 00:48:45,000
Speaker 2: I knew nothing, And I was like, they're brothers, Like

1119
00:48:45,280 --> 00:48:47,840
Speaker 2: he would wipe out the back of his jersey because

1120
00:48:47,840 --> 00:48:50,000
Speaker 2: their both names Scott, Well, we don't know.

1121
00:48:53,719 --> 00:48:55,640
Speaker 1: So the whole team staring him down, like what up?

1122
00:48:56,239 --> 00:48:56,560
Speaker 3: Wow?

1123
00:48:56,640 --> 00:48:58,960
Speaker 2: So we've got three four more minutes left this talk.

1124
00:48:59,239 --> 00:49:03,719
Speaker 2: So I was very shocked about that. Also, I'm when

1125
00:49:03,719 --> 00:49:07,640
Speaker 2: he walks into the to the auditorium. Do you think

1126
00:49:07,719 --> 00:49:13,000
Speaker 2: that James Lafferty's character was his name Nathan? Do you

1127
00:49:13,040 --> 00:49:15,799
Speaker 2: think that Nathan called him? You know what I mean?

1128
00:49:16,239 --> 00:49:19,399
Speaker 1: No, I don't think no, why not? I think because

1129
00:49:20,640 --> 00:49:22,040
Speaker 1: Lucas realized he's a Baller.

1130
00:49:23,000 --> 00:49:25,040
Speaker 2: It's just so weird because I know, like, I'm like Hailey,

1131
00:49:25,200 --> 00:49:28,800
Speaker 2: why is Hailey, like, like what he shouldn't be dating

1132
00:49:28,960 --> 00:49:32,759
Speaker 2: that other Peyton girl, Like he's married to Haley. It's

1133
00:49:32,920 --> 00:49:44,239
Speaker 2: very interesting married. Sorry, no, it's a roller coaster to ride.

1134
00:49:44,440 --> 00:49:48,200
Speaker 2: It's okay, So I'm And then what else happened in

1135
00:49:48,200 --> 00:49:50,760
Speaker 2: the first episode? Moira Kelly who by the way Cutting

1136
00:49:50,840 --> 00:49:54,120
Speaker 2: Edge she was played my mom and the Christmas Christmas movie.

1137
00:49:54,120 --> 00:49:55,960
Speaker 2: I was just in had no idea that she was

1138
00:49:56,040 --> 00:50:00,520
Speaker 2: the everyone always had Karen, so I was like Karen,

1139
00:50:01,320 --> 00:50:03,920
Speaker 2: But now I know who Karen is. Karen's his mom.

1140
00:50:04,440 --> 00:50:06,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, it starts the whole show.

1141
00:50:07,960 --> 00:50:08,839
Speaker 2: It's fascinating.

1142
00:50:09,239 --> 00:50:12,720
Speaker 1: What I think is fascinating to is when TV shows

1143
00:50:13,960 --> 00:50:17,279
Speaker 1: do like sports games. I thought it was good, though

1144
00:50:17,360 --> 00:50:20,160
Speaker 1: I was I was actually somewhat impressed because I was like,

1145
00:50:20,280 --> 00:50:24,080
Speaker 1: usually it's a lot worse than that. Yeah, there's genuine

1146
00:50:24,200 --> 00:50:27,279
Speaker 1: like athleticism on the court. It looked like but usually

1147
00:50:27,320 --> 00:50:30,960
Speaker 1: because like the production is a lot smaller production budget

1148
00:50:31,000 --> 00:50:32,680
Speaker 1: everything like that for like a TV show where it

1149
00:50:32,760 --> 00:50:35,600
Speaker 1: just looks like a joke, like even from like Fresh

1150
00:50:35,640 --> 00:50:38,520
Speaker 1: Prince of bel Air Days where when Will Smith's playing basketball.

1151
00:50:38,520 --> 00:50:40,880
Speaker 1: The court, the full size court is the size of

1152
00:50:40,960 --> 00:50:43,640
Speaker 1: like half of an actual basketball court, so it takes

1153
00:50:43,680 --> 00:50:45,360
Speaker 1: like one step. He's already on the other side of

1154
00:50:45,360 --> 00:50:47,640
Speaker 1: the court. Like it was ridiculous. It was like five

1155
00:50:47,719 --> 00:50:48,560
Speaker 1: year olds played on it.

1156
00:50:48,600 --> 00:50:50,560
Speaker 2: But when they played the game against each other, I

1157
00:50:50,600 --> 00:50:52,759
Speaker 2: didn't know who was going to win. They won on

1158
00:50:52,760 --> 00:50:53,919
Speaker 2: one game, they won a one game.

1159
00:50:54,440 --> 00:50:56,719
Speaker 1: I truly I can'tnot have Lucas win.

1160
00:50:57,239 --> 00:51:00,160
Speaker 2: I don't know, because it was almost like maybe he

1161
00:51:00,200 --> 00:51:03,640
Speaker 2: was gonna let him win because.

1162
00:51:03,560 --> 00:51:07,359
Speaker 1: That's my favorite character right now. After season one, episode one,

1163
00:51:07,440 --> 00:51:09,240
Speaker 1: Lucas Scott is my favorite character.

1164
00:51:09,600 --> 00:51:16,040
Speaker 2: Don't tell Sophia on the show ninety seconds for mad

1165
00:51:16,320 --> 00:51:21,000
Speaker 2: ninety seconds. I don't know. She came on after the

1166
00:51:21,040 --> 00:51:22,759
Speaker 2: next I think she's in the next episode because they

1167
00:51:22,760 --> 00:51:24,560
Speaker 2: brought her and she originally wasn't in the pilot, but

1168
00:51:24,560 --> 00:51:26,480
Speaker 2: then they wanted another female to come in and bruce

1169
00:51:26,520 --> 00:51:27,960
Speaker 2: stuff up, and she brewed it up.

1170
00:51:28,600 --> 00:51:29,000
Speaker 1: Got it.

1171
00:51:29,120 --> 00:51:31,000
Speaker 2: We need to have her on eventually. I'd love to

1172
00:51:31,040 --> 00:51:31,400
Speaker 2: have her on.

1173
00:51:31,640 --> 00:51:31,879
Speaker 1: Yeah.

1174
00:51:32,520 --> 00:51:35,120
Speaker 2: So so that was our five minute one to Tree

1175
00:51:35,160 --> 00:51:35,960
Speaker 2: Hill wrap up.

1176
00:51:36,000 --> 00:51:38,720
Speaker 3: There are one hundred and eighty seven episodes that you really.

1177
00:51:38,520 --> 00:51:41,120
Speaker 1: Committing to watch it all Jane said last night. She

1178
00:51:41,200 --> 00:51:43,439
Speaker 1: was like, because these episodes going.

1179
00:51:43,320 --> 00:51:45,120
Speaker 2: Into it, thought, dude, twenty two episodes.

1180
00:51:45,160 --> 00:51:47,520
Speaker 1: I thought the episodes were like thirty minutes. She's like, no,

1181
00:51:47,640 --> 00:51:50,200
Speaker 1: there is an hour show, so they're like forty five minutes.

1182
00:51:50,640 --> 00:51:55,000
Speaker 1: There's twenty something episodes in each season. There's nine seasons.

1183
00:51:55,120 --> 00:51:57,680
Speaker 1: I'm like, good god, we're not watching anything for like

1184
00:51:57,680 --> 00:52:00,000
Speaker 1: the next three months.

1185
00:52:00,040 --> 00:52:01,200
Speaker 2: We just have to commit to more than that.

1186
00:52:01,440 --> 00:52:01,720
Speaker 3: Enjoy.

1187
00:52:01,880 --> 00:52:03,799
Speaker 2: Let us know. If you guys like this, let us

1188
00:52:03,840 --> 00:52:07,520
Speaker 2: know it. Whine down the deal. Here's the deal, though,

1189
00:52:07,760 --> 00:52:09,120
Speaker 2: we can stop. It's fine.

1190
00:52:09,680 --> 00:52:10,040
Speaker 1: I was.

1191
00:52:10,320 --> 00:52:12,840
Speaker 2: We were genuinely just doing this for you guys. So

1192
00:52:12,920 --> 00:52:15,520
Speaker 2: if you guys don't like us a recapping the five minutes,

1193
00:52:15,960 --> 00:52:17,640
Speaker 2: we can take it out. Just give us an email.

1194
00:52:17,800 --> 00:52:18,200
Speaker 2: Let us know.

1195
00:52:18,400 --> 00:52:19,760
Speaker 3: Maybe we go with three minutes.

1196
00:52:20,880 --> 00:52:25,000
Speaker 2: I like three, three is healthy, Three is good, all right.

1197
00:52:25,080 --> 00:52:26,279
Speaker 2: Mark's like, let's just cut it.

1198
00:52:27,040 --> 00:52:29,560
Speaker 3: No, not yet, I'm not there yet. I like it

1199
00:52:29,600 --> 00:52:31,480
Speaker 3: so far. How many seasons until we get to you?

1200
00:52:32,760 --> 00:52:37,480
Speaker 2: We've got six years, I know, but it's.

1201
00:52:37,320 --> 00:52:38,680
Speaker 1: Like, we need the backstory now to.

1202
00:52:38,719 --> 00:52:42,200
Speaker 2: Actually season freaking seven.

1203
00:52:43,000 --> 00:52:45,279
Speaker 1: You know what I do love. I'm not sure about

1204
00:52:45,280 --> 00:52:47,200
Speaker 1: One Tree Hill yet, not so on it yet. But

1205
00:52:47,200 --> 00:52:48,040
Speaker 1: what I do love are.

1206
00:52:47,960 --> 00:52:51,600
Speaker 2: Me and oh you are You're my favorites with me.

1207
00:52:51,600 --> 00:52:53,360
Speaker 1: And for me, like three.

1208
00:52:53,239 --> 00:52:55,480
Speaker 2: Years ago, time out, it was your sister.

1209
00:52:55,880 --> 00:52:56,520
Speaker 1: It was my sister.

1210
00:52:56,560 --> 00:52:56,799
Speaker 3: First.

1211
00:52:56,840 --> 00:52:59,360
Speaker 2: Your sister goes, hey, I know this is kind of weird,

1212
00:52:59,440 --> 00:53:02,319
Speaker 2: but like I got you friend likes underwear, so I'm

1213
00:53:02,360 --> 00:53:03,719
Speaker 2: gonna get you underwear. I know it's weird for a

1214
00:53:03,800 --> 00:53:06,719
Speaker 2: sister to get brother underwear. And since then, you have

1215
00:53:06,880 --> 00:53:09,520
Speaker 2: every shade every I got the ones.

1216
00:53:09,360 --> 00:53:11,400
Speaker 1: With roses on it, I got the ones with like

1217
00:53:11,440 --> 00:53:14,560
Speaker 1: the kiss lips on it. I got polka dot, I

1218
00:53:14,600 --> 00:53:15,280
Speaker 1: got blue.

1219
00:53:15,360 --> 00:53:17,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, like everything. And they also have me undies for

1220
00:53:17,600 --> 00:53:21,319
Speaker 2: girls too. I've got the the like sweat sweat.

1221
00:53:21,160 --> 00:53:23,200
Speaker 1: I was gonna say. And we got the pajama pants yeah,

1222
00:53:23,200 --> 00:53:24,160
Speaker 1: which are amazing.

1223
00:53:25,640 --> 00:53:26,440
Speaker 2: You can finish it.

1224
00:53:26,560 --> 00:53:27,400
Speaker 1: Oh thanks, Sonny.

1225
00:53:27,520 --> 00:53:27,880
Speaker 2: Welcome.

1226
00:53:28,200 --> 00:53:31,240
Speaker 1: So if you ever thought about getting in some new underwear,

1227
00:53:31,239 --> 00:53:34,520
Speaker 1: I'm telling you try me Undis. I love them. Jana

1228
00:53:34,600 --> 00:53:37,520
Speaker 1: actually even steals mine to wear at night. You love

1229
00:53:37,520 --> 00:53:39,200
Speaker 1: to wear those at night, and do we like to.

1230
00:53:39,160 --> 00:53:41,480
Speaker 4: Wear I'm I've been a subscriber since like twenty eleven.

1231
00:53:41,880 --> 00:53:45,279
Speaker 4: I was an early adopter. Wow, I'm wearing them right now.

1232
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Speaker 1: I had a boy but good thing about them. They

1233
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1234
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1235
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Speaker 1: four xl oh what up though? Yeah, and right now,

1236
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1237
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1238
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Speaker 1: hundred percent satisfaction guarantee and trust at least Easton and

1240
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1241
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1242
00:54:16,840 --> 00:54:19,720
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1243
00:54:19,760 --> 00:54:24,560
Speaker 1: slash wind down. That's me undies dot com slash wine.

1244
00:54:24,360 --> 00:54:26,480
Speaker 2: Down by Hey Mark, we got any emails.

1245
00:54:26,640 --> 00:54:28,800
Speaker 3: Shanne wants to thank you. She says, thank you for

1246
00:54:28,840 --> 00:54:31,160
Speaker 3: the advice you gave me on the Mommy Issues episode

1247
00:54:31,160 --> 00:54:32,799
Speaker 3: here in my email out loud gave me so much

1248
00:54:32,800 --> 00:54:34,440
Speaker 3: clarity and on top of the fact that you're both

1249
00:54:34,520 --> 00:54:37,719
Speaker 3: unbiased bystanders, I was reminded of the feelings of hurt

1250
00:54:37,760 --> 00:54:41,000
Speaker 3: and disrespect from him. I'm standing up for myself, I'm

1251
00:54:41,000 --> 00:54:43,440
Speaker 3: remembering who I am, and I'm walking the hell away

1252
00:54:43,760 --> 00:54:45,720
Speaker 3: from the Toxic Relations Girl.

1253
00:54:46,120 --> 00:54:49,240
Speaker 2: Yes Queen Yes also shout out to our nurse today

1254
00:54:49,400 --> 00:54:51,759
Speaker 2: because she listens to wind down. She's like, I love you, guys.

1255
00:54:52,239 --> 00:54:56,839
Speaker 1: Jason's nurse said the pediatrician. She's fantastic. She's awesome, TI

1256
00:54:57,160 --> 00:54:58,080
Speaker 1: because she gave me a shot.

1257
00:54:59,000 --> 00:55:02,520
Speaker 3: That's ab Katie's twenty five. He's lived with a guy

1258
00:55:02,560 --> 00:55:04,360
Speaker 3: for two and a half years. They have two dogs.

1259
00:55:05,200 --> 00:55:07,880
Speaker 3: They lived together, she says, after we essentially planned our

1260
00:55:07,920 --> 00:55:09,839
Speaker 3: life together. He broke it off. He told me I

1261
00:55:09,880 --> 00:55:12,520
Speaker 3: was a hard person to love. That's a phrase I

1262
00:55:12,560 --> 00:55:15,319
Speaker 3: hear every day of my life. This past year, I've

1263
00:55:15,320 --> 00:55:18,399
Speaker 3: made some bad decisions with guys, my eating, my overall mood.

1264
00:55:18,440 --> 00:55:19,680
Speaker 3: Do you have any advice how to get out of

1265
00:55:19,680 --> 00:55:23,239
Speaker 3: this funk? Oh, Katie, I feel like.

1266
00:55:23,160 --> 00:55:25,200
Speaker 2: This is very similar to the email we did last time,

1267
00:55:25,239 --> 00:55:28,160
Speaker 2: went hard to Love. I said, maybe it's not about

1268
00:55:29,000 --> 00:55:31,000
Speaker 2: like the guy kept telling her she's hard to love,

1269
00:55:31,120 --> 00:55:32,960
Speaker 2: and I'm like, well, actually that's something where I think

1270
00:55:33,000 --> 00:55:37,759
Speaker 2: the guy has his own personal issues. But with this

1271
00:55:38,280 --> 00:55:39,640
Speaker 2: and I don't know, it's hard to get out of funk.

1272
00:55:40,040 --> 00:55:42,799
Speaker 2: You're kind of in a funk me, haven't you.

1273
00:55:43,480 --> 00:55:43,560
Speaker 6: No?

1274
00:55:44,239 --> 00:55:47,160
Speaker 1: I was, I'm good now I'm Gucci.

1275
00:55:47,280 --> 00:55:48,359
Speaker 3: So what did you to get out of it?

1276
00:55:49,040 --> 00:55:54,440
Speaker 1: Yeah? Honestly, for me, he was reading reading.

1277
00:55:54,800 --> 00:55:56,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, did you read that book?

1278
00:55:56,600 --> 00:55:59,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, I've been reading more of that book really. Yeah. Wow.

1279
00:56:00,160 --> 00:56:02,879
Speaker 1: And I have my like touchstone self meditation for men

1280
00:56:03,200 --> 00:56:06,200
Speaker 1: like daily Morning. I read those like every morning kind

1281
00:56:06,239 --> 00:56:08,879
Speaker 1: of gives you like a purpose for the day. Oh yeah.

1282
00:56:08,960 --> 00:56:11,880
Speaker 1: So honestly, that's something I've been doing more of and

1283
00:56:11,920 --> 00:56:12,920
Speaker 1: I think it's really helped me.

1284
00:56:13,080 --> 00:56:14,720
Speaker 2: Oh wow, babe, because.

1285
00:56:14,520 --> 00:56:16,120
Speaker 1: A few weeks ago, I was really in a funk.

1286
00:56:16,280 --> 00:56:18,800
Speaker 1: Mm hmm. You know, I shared in the podcast whatever

1287
00:56:18,840 --> 00:56:20,640
Speaker 1: a week or so ago how we were in a funk.

1288
00:56:21,719 --> 00:56:25,279
Speaker 1: But since we've since been way out of that. And yeah,

1289
00:56:25,320 --> 00:56:27,200
Speaker 1: for me personally, it took for us to get out

1290
00:56:27,239 --> 00:56:28,480
Speaker 1: of funk. It also took me to get out of

1291
00:56:28,520 --> 00:56:30,160
Speaker 1: a funk and out of my own head and is

1292
00:56:31,600 --> 00:56:34,080
Speaker 1: doing something like taking contrary action? You know me, I'm

1293
00:56:34,080 --> 00:56:36,680
Speaker 1: not a huge reader, never have been, but I have

1294
00:56:36,719 --> 00:56:38,759
Speaker 1: a lot of books that I want to read. It's

1295
00:56:38,800 --> 00:56:41,080
Speaker 1: just like my eighty D kicks in and I can't

1296
00:56:41,080 --> 00:56:41,839
Speaker 1: just sit there and read.

1297
00:56:42,080 --> 00:56:44,040
Speaker 2: Is it the book that had to be adult?

1298
00:56:44,120 --> 00:56:44,200
Speaker 3: Uh?

1299
00:56:44,280 --> 00:56:44,600
Speaker 1: Huh?

1300
00:56:44,640 --> 00:56:44,920
Speaker 2: Wow?

1301
00:56:45,120 --> 00:56:46,560
Speaker 1: Had to be an adult? In a relationship.

1302
00:56:46,600 --> 00:56:47,879
Speaker 2: I love it. I'm so proud of you.

1303
00:56:47,960 --> 00:56:48,279
Speaker 1: Thank you.

1304
00:56:48,400 --> 00:56:50,560
Speaker 2: So I think getting out of it. So maybe try meditating,

1305
00:56:50,719 --> 00:56:51,919
Speaker 2: getting to get your funk every day?

1306
00:56:52,080 --> 00:56:54,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, do something, do something. The whole point is do

1307
00:56:54,640 --> 00:56:59,040
Speaker 1: something different that's healthy that you don't normally do. So

1308
00:56:59,040 --> 00:57:00,880
Speaker 1: if you don't normally work out, go work out. If

1309
00:57:00,920 --> 00:57:03,520
Speaker 1: you don't normally read, go read. If you never really

1310
00:57:03,560 --> 00:57:05,000
Speaker 1: just go for a walk, go for a walk.

1311
00:57:05,680 --> 00:57:08,680
Speaker 2: You know what I learned about Mike guys, he doesn't

1312
00:57:08,719 --> 00:57:10,279
Speaker 2: like to be encouraged when he works out.

1313
00:57:10,880 --> 00:57:13,680
Speaker 3: Go on the same way. I don't like that either.

1314
00:57:14,160 --> 00:57:16,360
Speaker 2: I was like, we worked out the other day and

1315
00:57:16,400 --> 00:57:18,000
Speaker 2: I was like, come on, babe, you got this, Come on,

1316
00:57:18,080 --> 00:57:19,880
Speaker 2: you got it? Only two more like come on, get up.

1317
00:57:19,920 --> 00:57:21,320
Speaker 2: He's like stop and I was like ooh.

1318
00:57:24,680 --> 00:57:27,800
Speaker 1: And then I told Jana story where every off season

1319
00:57:27,960 --> 00:57:32,240
Speaker 1: in the NFL there's always like local college strength coach

1320
00:57:32,320 --> 00:57:35,960
Speaker 1: interns or guys that are doing, you know, getting credits

1321
00:57:35,960 --> 00:57:38,640
Speaker 1: for college classes that are in the strength program, and

1322
00:57:38,680 --> 00:57:40,600
Speaker 1: they would come in trying to you know, it's the

1323
00:57:40,680 --> 00:57:44,120
Speaker 1: first time they're nervous in an NFL facility and trying

1324
00:57:44,200 --> 00:57:46,880
Speaker 1: to kind of prove themselves. So they get all loud

1325
00:57:46,920 --> 00:57:49,680
Speaker 1: and try to pump everybody up, and I've had a

1326
00:57:49,920 --> 00:57:52,760
Speaker 1: mf a lot of them because I hate that. So

1327
00:57:52,800 --> 00:57:55,640
Speaker 1: they all come in young's let's go, you could do it.

1328
00:57:55,880 --> 00:57:58,800
Speaker 1: And I've gotten pretty mean with some of those young

1329
00:57:58,880 --> 00:58:00,560
Speaker 1: kids from time to time because.

1330
00:58:00,320 --> 00:58:02,080
Speaker 2: If you hate it, what would you like me to do?

1331
00:58:02,080 --> 00:58:02,280
Speaker 1: Babe?

1332
00:58:02,320 --> 00:58:06,520
Speaker 2: Like when we're stretching, he's like, don't say anything kindly

1333
00:58:07,160 --> 00:58:08,800
Speaker 2: because I love working out with him. So I was

1334
00:58:08,840 --> 00:58:10,360
Speaker 2: so excited when he came out to work out with

1335
00:58:10,400 --> 00:58:13,640
Speaker 2: me and my trainer, and then I was just like, okay,

1336
00:58:14,720 --> 00:58:15,040
Speaker 2: all right.

1337
00:58:15,040 --> 00:58:17,160
Speaker 3: Next day, Mairl Madison says, my boyfriend and I've been

1338
00:58:17,200 --> 00:58:19,040
Speaker 3: together for three years and we're moving in together in

1339
00:58:19,040 --> 00:58:21,360
Speaker 3: a few months. He's twenty seven and twenty six. However,

1340
00:58:21,960 --> 00:58:26,000
Speaker 3: he doesn't believe in anxiety. I'm working on it, but

1341
00:58:26,040 --> 00:58:27,840
Speaker 3: I think part of it is just my personality and

1342
00:58:27,840 --> 00:58:30,080
Speaker 3: I don't know if it'll ever be fully fixed. How

1343
00:58:30,080 --> 00:58:31,440
Speaker 3: do I deal with your How do you deal with

1344
00:58:31,440 --> 00:58:32,280
Speaker 3: your anxious thoughts?

1345
00:58:32,960 --> 00:58:34,760
Speaker 2: How could I even forget about this topic?

1346
00:58:34,880 --> 00:58:35,920
Speaker 1: Let's answer that question.

1347
00:58:35,960 --> 00:58:36,840
Speaker 3: No no, no, no, no.

1348
00:58:36,720 --> 00:58:39,560
Speaker 2: No, We're going to answer it, and okay, fine, they

1349
00:58:39,560 --> 00:58:42,919
Speaker 2: don't understand it. Until they've had it and they think

1350
00:58:42,960 --> 00:58:44,880
Speaker 2: it's all in their head. And this is the best

1351
00:58:44,880 --> 00:58:47,760
Speaker 2: example I will give you right now. Michael had an

1352
00:58:47,800 --> 00:58:50,919
Speaker 2: anxiety attack. You guys, Oh I did, Yes, you did.

1353
00:58:51,040 --> 00:58:54,040
Speaker 2: We were we were in fabrication. No, it's not you guys.

1354
00:58:54,080 --> 00:58:56,680
Speaker 2: We were in New Orleans and we were sitting down.

1355
00:58:56,760 --> 00:58:58,920
Speaker 2: And this is about the second or third time this

1356
00:58:58,960 --> 00:59:02,760
Speaker 2: has happened recently. What just let me finish my story.

1357
00:59:03,960 --> 00:59:06,320
Speaker 2: We're sitting down for our date night, like you know,

1358
00:59:06,360 --> 00:59:08,960
Speaker 2: we let the nanny. We took the kids to New

1359
00:59:09,040 --> 00:59:12,040
Speaker 2: Orleans when I was filming. We decided to have a

1360
00:59:12,120 --> 00:59:13,760
Speaker 2: date night. We go to this date night and I

1361
00:59:13,760 --> 00:59:17,360
Speaker 2: can just tell he's getting pale, he's getting clammy. You know.

1362
00:59:17,400 --> 00:59:19,640
Speaker 2: He had some bread, took a little sip, a little

1363
00:59:19,680 --> 00:59:23,000
Speaker 2: teeny weeny sip of his Manhattan on the rocks with

1364
00:59:23,080 --> 00:59:25,640
Speaker 2: bullet or no, I didn't have bullet that night anyways,

1365
00:59:25,840 --> 00:59:29,640
Speaker 2: and he started to like look down, and I was like,

1366
00:59:29,640 --> 00:59:32,360
Speaker 2: are you good. He's like, yeah, I just I don't

1367
00:59:32,360 --> 00:59:35,880
Speaker 2: feel good. And I was like okay. And then he said,

1368
00:59:35,960 --> 00:59:37,360
Speaker 2: I think I think I need to go outside and

1369
00:59:37,400 --> 00:59:39,240
Speaker 2: just get some fresh air. And I was like all right.

1370
00:59:39,920 --> 00:59:42,520
Speaker 2: And so he comes back in. I said, babe, you

1371
00:59:42,560 --> 00:59:44,240
Speaker 2: know we can leave if you want to leave. Are

1372
00:59:44,280 --> 00:59:47,680
Speaker 2: you okay? I please know that it's okay. If you

1373
00:59:47,720 --> 00:59:50,040
Speaker 2: don't feel good, we can go right now. We can

1374
00:59:50,080 --> 00:59:52,920
Speaker 2: take the food to go. It's okay. And I said,

1375
00:59:52,960 --> 00:59:54,760
Speaker 2: can you just tell me your symptoms? And he goes,

1376
00:59:56,080 --> 01:00:02,240
Speaker 2: my heart's racing, I'm hot. I I'm like I was

1377
01:00:02,240 --> 01:00:04,920
Speaker 2: going to throw up, you know, I feel like I

1378
01:00:04,920 --> 01:00:07,720
Speaker 2: need some fresh air. My heart's like yeah, like pounding,

1379
01:00:07,760 --> 01:00:11,160
Speaker 2: and I just feel like and I go, babe, that's

1380
01:00:11,160 --> 01:00:15,200
Speaker 2: an anxiety attack. Nope, and he will refuse to admit

1381
01:00:15,400 --> 01:00:16,960
Speaker 2: that was an anxiety attack. And he goes, but it

1382
01:00:17,000 --> 01:00:18,640
Speaker 2: just came out nowhere. I go, babe, this is what

1383
01:00:18,680 --> 01:00:21,680
Speaker 2: you don't understand. Mine comes out of nowhere. We can

1384
01:00:21,720 --> 01:00:23,960
Speaker 2: be sitting here on a date night and I can

1385
01:00:24,120 --> 01:00:25,120
Speaker 2: just but that's the thing.

1386
01:00:25,240 --> 01:00:27,400
Speaker 1: I've never had that happen to me before.

1387
01:00:27,840 --> 01:00:30,040
Speaker 2: But there was something when we were talking about something

1388
01:00:30,040 --> 01:00:36,120
Speaker 2: too that somehow subconsciously triggered that, and he had an

1389
01:00:36,120 --> 01:00:38,120
Speaker 2: anxiety attack. And I was like, he goes, well, how

1390
01:00:38,120 --> 01:00:40,240
Speaker 2: do you know? I was like, hello, I'm like the

1391
01:00:40,240 --> 01:00:43,800
Speaker 2: epicenter of anxiety. I know what this is. And I

1392
01:00:43,840 --> 01:00:46,240
Speaker 2: was like, everything you just told me is a symptom

1393
01:00:46,280 --> 01:00:49,120
Speaker 2: of anxiety. Yeah, you're not catch you're not trying to

1394
01:00:49,160 --> 01:00:51,080
Speaker 2: catch your breath. And but if that is, that's not

1395
01:00:51,640 --> 01:00:55,200
Speaker 2: There's different types of anxiety attacks. And that anxiety attack

1396
01:00:55,280 --> 01:00:56,920
Speaker 2: that you just had was exactly the one that I

1397
01:00:56,960 --> 01:00:58,720
Speaker 2: had when I was with my girlfriends at dinner and

1398
01:00:58,720 --> 01:01:00,160
Speaker 2: I was and I was having a great day nor

1399
01:01:00,160 --> 01:01:01,440
Speaker 2: with my friends, and all of a sudden, I was like,

1400
01:01:01,840 --> 01:01:03,280
Speaker 2: oh God, I don't feel good. I feel I'm gonna

1401
01:01:03,280 --> 01:01:05,280
Speaker 2: throw up. My my hands are sweating. You know. I'm

1402
01:01:05,360 --> 01:01:07,240
Speaker 2: sweating now, you know, and I need to go outside

1403
01:01:07,240 --> 01:01:09,120
Speaker 2: and get some fresh air to be able to breathe, like,

1404
01:01:09,720 --> 01:01:14,680
Speaker 2: and he's just he refuses to amiss, it's not coincidental's

1405
01:01:14,840 --> 01:01:17,400
Speaker 2: He's like, I'm like refusing to admit that he had

1406
01:01:17,400 --> 01:01:18,160
Speaker 2: an anxiety attack.

1407
01:01:19,520 --> 01:01:22,040
Speaker 3: Why Linelike, he said, it's so dead set against that.

1408
01:01:22,560 --> 01:01:25,000
Speaker 2: I don't because he thinks he can control an anxiety

1409
01:01:25,040 --> 01:01:26,520
Speaker 2: attack because.

1410
01:01:26,280 --> 01:01:30,160
Speaker 1: I've never had. Well, here's the thing too, and I've

1411
01:01:30,160 --> 01:01:34,840
Speaker 1: told Jane this recently over the last several months. I

1412
01:01:35,880 --> 01:01:38,320
Speaker 1: know my body very well. My body was my business

1413
01:01:38,320 --> 01:01:40,840
Speaker 1: for years, so I'm very in tune with how my

1414
01:01:40,880 --> 01:01:43,720
Speaker 1: body feels on what's going on with it. And for

1415
01:01:43,720 --> 01:01:46,440
Speaker 1: the last few months, I've just felt out of whack,

1416
01:01:47,080 --> 01:01:50,400
Speaker 1: like I'm gonna go to our local physician, get a physical,

1417
01:01:50,560 --> 01:01:52,480
Speaker 1: just get my levels checked. I just feel like something

1418
01:01:52,560 --> 01:01:55,840
Speaker 1: is off. Something just has to be off. There's no

1419
01:01:55,880 --> 01:01:59,400
Speaker 1: way I should be as fatigued or feel as sick

1420
01:01:59,440 --> 01:02:02,760
Speaker 1: as I do something times or or or whatever it is.

1421
01:02:03,320 --> 01:02:04,920
Speaker 2: And he's even on depression medicine.

1422
01:02:04,960 --> 01:02:07,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mom on, I take an antidepressant. I'm on adderall, Like,

1423
01:02:07,960 --> 01:02:09,720
Speaker 1: there's no reason I should be as fatigue. You're tired

1424
01:02:09,760 --> 01:02:11,680
Speaker 1: as I am some days when I take Adderall, and

1425
01:02:11,720 --> 01:02:14,479
Speaker 1: there's no way I should be. So it's just there's

1426
01:02:14,480 --> 01:02:17,240
Speaker 1: just something's off, And so I attribute it to that.

1427
01:02:17,480 --> 01:02:18,720
Speaker 1: I'm like, whatever is.

1428
01:02:18,680 --> 01:02:21,560
Speaker 2: Going on in my boy, cause that anxiety, that's the thing.

1429
01:02:21,720 --> 01:02:24,040
Speaker 2: That's something. Whatever is going on with you cause that

1430
01:02:24,080 --> 01:02:24,800
Speaker 2: anxiety right.

1431
01:02:24,720 --> 01:02:28,000
Speaker 1: So so well, regardless of whether that moment was an

1432
01:02:28,000 --> 01:02:30,480
Speaker 1: anxiety attack or not, I don't I don't consider it

1433
01:02:30,520 --> 01:02:33,240
Speaker 1: as like me having anxiety. I just think whatever's going

1434
01:02:33,280 --> 01:02:35,760
Speaker 1: on my body is just reallyffing me up right.

1435
01:02:35,640 --> 01:02:37,760
Speaker 2: Now, and which caused you to have an anxiety? Attack

1436
01:02:37,840 --> 01:02:41,480
Speaker 2: that wasn't an episode of an anxiety attack, and he

1437
01:02:41,560 --> 01:02:43,280
Speaker 2: I think he refuses to admit it because he thinks

1438
01:02:43,280 --> 01:02:45,400
Speaker 2: that he's more powerful over and I think that's what

1439
01:02:45,520 --> 01:02:49,400
Speaker 2: maybe to go back to Madison's email, is we it's

1440
01:02:49,440 --> 01:02:51,640
Speaker 2: hard to like people think you can control it.

1441
01:02:51,720 --> 01:02:54,640
Speaker 1: Well guys in general, right right, Yeah, we talked about

1442
01:02:54,640 --> 01:02:57,600
Speaker 1: our mentality. So I would say, from a god's perspective, Madison,

1443
01:02:58,160 --> 01:03:03,800
Speaker 1: if you talk to him, where coming from a place

1444
01:03:03,840 --> 01:03:05,600
Speaker 1: like if if Jenef you and I if it was

1445
01:03:05,600 --> 01:03:07,560
Speaker 1: from the at the beginning again and you told me

1446
01:03:07,600 --> 01:03:09,760
Speaker 1: you had anxiety and you came from a place of

1447
01:03:09,880 --> 01:03:13,240
Speaker 1: instead of maybe in the moment that she's having an

1448
01:03:13,240 --> 01:03:15,800
Speaker 1: anxiety attack, she stays ahead of it and just get

1449
01:03:15,800 --> 01:03:18,680
Speaker 1: And Madison goes to her boyfriend's like, look, I know

1450
01:03:18,720 --> 01:03:21,600
Speaker 1: you don't understand this. I don't understand this. This is

1451
01:03:21,600 --> 01:03:24,480
Speaker 1: what happens to me sometimes, and I'm it sucks. I'm

1452
01:03:24,480 --> 01:03:26,960
Speaker 1: really sorry, But would help What would help me is

1453
01:03:27,000 --> 01:03:30,960
Speaker 1: if I had your support and empathy during situations like

1454
01:03:31,000 --> 01:03:32,400
Speaker 1: this and like.

1455
01:03:32,600 --> 01:03:34,680
Speaker 2: Knowing that not make me feel crazy, right, not make.

1456
01:03:34,600 --> 01:03:37,560
Speaker 1: Me feel crazy, and like maybe having your support will

1457
01:03:37,600 --> 01:03:40,040
Speaker 1: help them subside or whatever because you know you and

1458
01:03:40,080 --> 01:03:42,040
Speaker 1: I early on, I was definitely like, what the hell

1459
01:03:42,120 --> 01:03:45,280
Speaker 1: is going on? Like just stop basically, but anyway, So

1460
01:03:45,400 --> 01:03:47,360
Speaker 1: if she's able to kind of stay ahead of it

1461
01:03:47,920 --> 01:03:50,840
Speaker 1: and just and just bring him in, like be vulnerable

1462
01:03:51,200 --> 01:03:53,400
Speaker 1: when it's not going on in that situation, in that

1463
01:03:53,760 --> 01:03:56,320
Speaker 1: in that moment, I think as a man, I would

1464
01:03:56,360 --> 01:03:58,640
Speaker 1: be able to receive that a little bit better and

1465
01:03:58,720 --> 01:04:02,400
Speaker 1: it would make me feel like I can I can

1466
01:04:02,440 --> 01:04:05,720
Speaker 1: be like a support for you, you know what I mean?

1467
01:04:05,800 --> 01:04:07,320
Speaker 2: Or night in shining, right.

1468
01:04:07,200 --> 01:04:08,960
Speaker 1: I can be your your hero a little bit.

1469
01:04:09,320 --> 01:04:11,600
Speaker 3: That's that's good advice because she needs to tell him

1470
01:04:11,600 --> 01:04:14,120
Speaker 3: exactly what she needs from him in that situation when

1471
01:04:14,120 --> 01:04:16,040
Speaker 3: it's not going on. That's something I had to learn

1472
01:04:16,080 --> 01:04:18,400
Speaker 3: and Mike you had to learn. So I think if

1473
01:04:18,400 --> 01:04:20,000
Speaker 3: you guys are really going to move in together after

1474
01:04:20,040 --> 01:04:21,840
Speaker 3: these three years, he's going to have to come around

1475
01:04:21,840 --> 01:04:24,520
Speaker 3: on that and and and be empathetic and understand what

1476
01:04:24,560 --> 01:04:25,200
Speaker 3: you need from him.

1477
01:04:25,880 --> 01:04:28,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, and we and as guys, we love to be needed,

1478
01:04:28,280 --> 01:04:32,240
Speaker 1: right Mark, So it's like knowing that our woman needs.

1479
01:04:31,920 --> 01:04:34,080
Speaker 2: Us and you hate to feel helpless, which in anxiety,

1480
01:04:34,120 --> 01:04:35,640
Speaker 2: you feel helpless because you don't know how to help

1481
01:04:35,800 --> 01:04:36,840
Speaker 2: and that makes us defensive.

1482
01:04:37,680 --> 01:04:41,480
Speaker 1: Yes, absolutely, Yes, we have one more.

1483
01:04:41,880 --> 01:04:43,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, we got a show, guys.

1484
01:04:43,600 --> 01:04:44,480
Speaker 1: I think great show.

1485
01:04:44,960 --> 01:04:48,760
Speaker 2: I think we got a show guys. That was really fun, good,

1486
01:04:48,920 --> 01:04:52,880
Speaker 2: good topics, great topics. I'm excited to see everyone in

1487
01:04:52,920 --> 01:04:55,040
Speaker 2: California this weekend at the brief Ast. It's going to

1488
01:04:55,080 --> 01:04:57,560
Speaker 2: be a good time, me and my belie, the Brewery,

1489
01:04:57,720 --> 01:04:59,720
Speaker 2: so cal contrary, the Brewery will see you there. And

1490
01:04:59,760 --> 01:05:01,240
Speaker 2: if you I want to see us live anywhere else,

1491
01:05:01,240 --> 01:05:04,440
Speaker 2: go to Janacramer dot com and we'll wind down again

1492
01:05:04,480 --> 01:05:04,960
Speaker 2: next week.

1493
01:05:05,160 --> 01:05:06,560
Speaker 5: Bye by

1494
01:05:10,160 --> 01:05:10,520
Speaker 2: M HM.