Speaker 1: Hello, Hi.
Speaker 2: Uh is this Alex?
Speaker 1: It is?
Speaker 2: What is going on with you?
Speaker 3: Dog?
Speaker 1: I just opened some civs? What about you?
Speaker 4: Dog?
Speaker 1: Oh? And I have a modilo.
Speaker 2: Is SIV is like civilization like the video game? Right?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Have you played it?
Speaker 2: I have. I don't really have the patience for games
Speaker 2: like that because I feel like SIV is a is
Speaker 2: a commitment, like I don't. I don't do any entertainment
Speaker 2: thing that's a commitment. Like I won't even watch a
Speaker 2: movie because I know I'm in it for an hour
Speaker 2: and a half and a game of SIV. I mean
Speaker 2: that's like three days. Right. How long is the game
Speaker 2: of SIEV last it is?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean it can go on for a really
Speaker 1: long time. I'm on the second day.
Speaker 2: I've been invited by friends before to play Dungeons and
Speaker 2: Dragons and that's just my worst fucking nightmare because it's
Speaker 2: I mean, that's a whole commitment, you know. I want
Speaker 2: to say I want to say this real thing about
Speaker 2: Dungeons and Dragons real quick, because I don't know why
Speaker 2: I need to get this out there. A lot of
Speaker 2: the times in Dungeons and Dragons, like when like I've
Speaker 2: been with my friends and I like talked about putting
Speaker 2: a game together, and they're like, we need somebody who's
Speaker 2: like knows a lot about the game in our group
Speaker 2: that they can like guide us through it. Does that
Speaker 2: make sense your play Dungeons and Dragons?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Yeah, I think I really want to.
Speaker 2: But I think that that's not what you want. You
Speaker 2: don't want anyone in the group who knows what they're
Speaker 2: talking about, because then that person's just gonna be running
Speaker 2: everything you. I want to play Dungeons Dragons with a
Speaker 2: group of people where nobody knows what they're doing, and
Speaker 2: that feels like it's more fun than having one guy
Speaker 2: be like, Okay, now you do this, now you do this,
Speaker 2: now you do this, now you do this.
Speaker 5: Right.
Speaker 1: Wait, it's way more fun if you figure it out together,
Speaker 1: way more fun.
Speaker 2: Anyway. Let's see, what is your name, Alex, Alex, it's
Speaker 2: us here that you are a private investigator. Tell me
Speaker 2: about that. What is that? Like?
Speaker 1: Oh, well, there's a lot of things you can do
Speaker 1: right now. I mostly do like surveillance, so a lot
Speaker 1: of cheating spouses, trying to figure out if people are
Speaker 1: cheating on each other. Really you can do yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: that's actually like a lot of what prime investigators do,
Speaker 1: and they do a lot of insurance too, to like
Speaker 1: see if you lied about your insurance claim and stuff.
Speaker 2: So back up for a second. I want to get
Speaker 2: the whole picture here. So you're says you're twenty three
Speaker 2: years old. Twenty yeah, twenty four. So are you Is
Speaker 2: this a private practice or do you work for another investigator?
Speaker 1: I work for a company. Yeah, but it's private because
Speaker 1: it's not the government and true or like a government agency.
Speaker 2: Well it's funny because I feel like when I think
Speaker 2: of a private investigator, I feel like most of them
Speaker 2: are like they're like older, like they're like when I
Speaker 2: think of a private investigator, I think of someone who's
Speaker 2: like fifty or something.
Speaker 1: I am very rare. I'm very rare. Most people are
Speaker 1: retired police.
Speaker 2: Yes, how does want to become a private investigator?
Speaker 1: I went to school for criminal justice and I got
Speaker 1: super lucky, and I just asked around to see if
Speaker 1: somebody knew somebody, and I ended up finding someone who
Speaker 1: was willing to take me under. But usually you'd go
Speaker 1: to school and go get your license on your own.
Speaker 1: So you have to read these huge books and really
Speaker 1: not that big. It's like three hundred pages, you read
Speaker 1: this book and then you go take this test and
Speaker 1: the test is ridiculous. There's one hundred questions and it
Speaker 1: was horrible. But yeah, that's then then you find a job.
Speaker 1: That's kind of it.
Speaker 2: Why do you need a test to become a prive investigated?
Speaker 2: Because don't you? I mean, because it's it's very it's
Speaker 2: very much like because if you're not working for like
Speaker 2: the governments or whatever, and there's no or like the police,
Speaker 2: and there's no like buy the books, you know, you
Speaker 2: know how that people are like, we're gonna do this
Speaker 2: by the books. I feel like there's no book for
Speaker 2: you to go by and just kind of doing it
Speaker 2: on your own. Why do you need it to pass it?
Speaker 1: The book is actually the Idiot's Guide to Private Investigation.
Speaker 1: That's what the test is based off.
Speaker 2: There's an idiot's guide, Like you can just go on
Speaker 2: Amazon buy this book and become a private investigator.
Speaker 1: That's I got it, Yeah, I got it. Okay, But
Speaker 1: there is a lot of laws. Most of the questions
Speaker 1: are about the laws, and the laws are.
Speaker 2: There's a lot, right, because what is the line between
Speaker 2: privately investigating somebody and stalking them?
Speaker 1: That's a really good question. And I think we are stalkers.
Speaker 1: We're just legally allowed to be stalkers.
Speaker 2: Mmm. How long have you been doing this?
Speaker 1: This is I had my apprenticeship for like six months,
Speaker 1: but I never went and did anything. I went and
Speaker 1: did something for the first time last week.
Speaker 2: Also, so last week was your first time out on
Speaker 2: the field.
Speaker 1: Uh huh Yeah. And I was telling the call screener,
Speaker 1: I've got some imposter syndrome and it just doesn't feel
Speaker 1: real yet, like because I've been working towards us for
Speaker 1: so long and now I'm doing it, and it's just
Speaker 1: like it has not hit me yet that I'm a
Speaker 1: private investigator at all.
Speaker 2: Well, yeah, I mean, you've only done one one thing.
Speaker 2: I want to I want to get into the whole
Speaker 2: imposter syndym thing, but I have so many other, so
Speaker 2: many questions about your your gig. All right, So okay,
Speaker 2: so how much are you what are you are you allowed? What?
Speaker 2: What was the case that you went on today?
Speaker 1: It was, oh, I went on one yesterday that was
Speaker 1: a custody case. So we're just trying to get somebody
Speaker 1: doing something that they're not supposed to be doing. The
Speaker 1: first one that I went on was a cheating spouse case,
Speaker 1: and so same thing it has followed her around and
Speaker 1: made sure she wasn't cheating.
Speaker 2: Hmmm. So so okay, let's let's take this cheating spouse
Speaker 2: one for example, and this is this is this cheating
Speaker 2: sauce one? Was this like you were an assistant to
Speaker 2: somebody else or or this was your case?
Speaker 1: It was all me. I went out alone from my
Speaker 1: very first case.
Speaker 2: Awesome. And so I assume you had a lot of
Speaker 2: cases before that where you were like sort of shadowing
Speaker 2: a different PI. No, oh really, I would think on
Speaker 2: that time. Is that not how that works?
Speaker 1: It should be how it works. But I don't know.
Speaker 1: I guess I kind of have this like air about
Speaker 1: me or people think that I know what I'm doing,
Speaker 1: and so they're just like, oh, she's fine.
Speaker 2: Perfect And it was terrifying. All right, So tell me,
Speaker 2: tell me, tell me how this went.
Speaker 4: Tell me.
Speaker 2: I want to hear. Did they like give you a Okay,
Speaker 2: here's their license plate number, here's their address, go to
Speaker 2: their house, follow their car, see what's going on type
Speaker 2: of thing.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you might as well go get your license. That's
Speaker 1: exactly what I did, just talk to get all the
Speaker 1: information that you can.
Speaker 2: And then go follow Tell me how it went. What
Speaker 2: did you see, what's the what did you feel? What?
Speaker 1: What?
Speaker 2: What was what was that that stakeout? Like?
Speaker 1: Oh man, I mean I was really really nervous because
Speaker 1: I hadn't done and shadowing before that. I was not
Speaker 1: in a good position and that I was going to
Speaker 1: totally blow everything. Like they were just going to be like,
Speaker 1: who's this chick following me? But that didn't happen. I
Speaker 1: followed her, she went shopping, she went and got some food,
Speaker 1: and that was it. She didn't cheat. But yeah, I
Speaker 1: was super super nervous that I was going to blow
Speaker 1: the cover the whole time.
Speaker 2: I would fucking be too if that was my very
Speaker 2: first time doing that. I'm so surprised that they didn't
Speaker 2: have you, like shadow a person beforehand. They just sent
Speaker 2: you on your way. Yeah, but you did it. You
Speaker 2: found out that they're not cheating.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 6: Yeah.
Speaker 1: That's what's so surprising about the ampopter syndrome is I
Speaker 1: keep getting thrown into these situations and it's totally fine.
Speaker 1: But for some reason, I'm like, it's not totally fine.
Speaker 2: I don't know, well so, but this doesn't make sense
Speaker 2: to me. Because so they hire you to follow this.
Speaker 2: This guy hired you to follow his wife around for
Speaker 2: a day, But how does he know that she's just
Speaker 2: not cheating that day.
Speaker 1: Well, we usually do it multiple times because of that
Speaker 1: exact reason.
Speaker 2: How much long are going to follow?
Speaker 1: You know, the circumstances have to be perfect. I don't know.
Speaker 1: It usually depends on the client. You know, they might
Speaker 1: get that feeling where you know, I'm just I need
Speaker 1: to chill out. Maybe she's not cheating, or they might
Speaker 1: be like, no, I know this is a fact, and
Speaker 1: I need to get this for my divorce, So keep
Speaker 1: going because people, you know, they could they could be
Speaker 1: cheating every other day. They could be cheating once a month.
Speaker 4: Like.
Speaker 1: That's what makes the private investigation stuff really hard too,
Speaker 1: is that there's no guaranteed results. We could follow your
Speaker 1: wife around getting lunch for two months, but she could
Speaker 1: still be cheating. Like, it's difficult, dude.
Speaker 2: It's so crazy that this is like a legal thing
Speaker 2: you can hire somebody to do. You can just hire
Speaker 2: somebody to stalk your wife and it's totally legal. It's crazy. Now,
Speaker 2: I totally understand why you have all these feelings about this. Yeah,
Speaker 2: you have to hire. You can as long as they've
Speaker 2: bought a book from Amazon, Reddit, cover to cover, you
Speaker 2: can hire them to stalk whoever you want. That's crazy
Speaker 2: to me. Now I understand why you have all these feelings.
Speaker 2: This is a wild thing that you're doing. I would
Speaker 2: feel all the same feelings.
Speaker 1: It's crazy, it is. I'm just wondering when it's gonna
Speaker 1: set in. Like I've already gone on the two cases.
Speaker 1: I've been doing the apprenticeship for a while. I got
Speaker 1: my life, and but I took that stupid test, Like
Speaker 1: when am I going to feel like a prime investigator?
Speaker 2: Can I ask? What tell me more about this test?
Speaker 2: What kinds of questions were on here?
Speaker 1: Oh? Man, that test was horrendous. There was so like
Speaker 1: when you do certain things wrong, you can either get
Speaker 1: fined or you can get your license taken away. And
Speaker 1: like some of the questions would be like if if
Speaker 1: you did X thing, would you get fined one thousand,
Speaker 1: five hundred dollars, two thousand dollars, three thousand dollars or
Speaker 1: three thousand.
Speaker 5: Five hundred dollars.
Speaker 1: Like they wanted you to know to the t what
Speaker 1: was going to happen to you when you fucked up
Speaker 1: in each and every single situation, and then like, so,
Speaker 1: how much.
Speaker 2: Do you get fined if your adhesive mustache falls off
Speaker 2: your face?
Speaker 6: It's going to be two grand?
Speaker 2: Unfortunately they have Okay, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm like,
Speaker 2: I know you are, like have like legitimate feelings behind
Speaker 2: this that you called in to talk about, but I
Speaker 2: have so many questions just about this thing because it's
Speaker 2: fascinating to me. You like, so, okay, so it's legal. Okay,
Speaker 2: So it is legal to hire somebody to stalk your
Speaker 2: wife to see if she's cheating, But there are certain
Speaker 2: things about it that are illegal, and if you do
Speaker 2: those things wrong, the government can find you.
Speaker 1: Yes, can you can you give.
Speaker 2: Me an example of like give it? Give it. That's
Speaker 2: an example of like a couple things that could go
Speaker 2: wrong that you might get fined for.
Speaker 1: Well, I mean the easy one is confidentiality. You know,
Speaker 1: like if I walked around telling the names and address
Speaker 1: and the you know whatever of the people that I'm watching,
Speaker 1: that that might be a revoke actually, And then there's
Speaker 1: like so so much gray area, like when it comes
Speaker 1: to GPS's you know, you'd think that a GPS would
Speaker 1: make this whole thing so easy. We're actually only allowed
Speaker 1: to use GPS's if both names are on the car.
Speaker 1: That's the only circumstance. So if you put a GPS
Speaker 1: on somebody not both names on the car, they'll find again,
Speaker 1: Like there's so much random stuff.
Speaker 2: Oh so if a husband and a wife both own
Speaker 2: a car together, you're allowed to track it.
Speaker 1: M h yeah, but it have to be the client
Speaker 1: whoever's asking for the tracking has to be on the car.
Speaker 2: The confidentiality thing is super funny because you're not allowed
Speaker 2: to disclose. So if a client comes to you and
Speaker 2: says you their name and all, you're not allowed to
Speaker 2: tell anyone. But your whole job is to find confidential
Speaker 2: information about other people and tell it to your client.
Speaker 1: You know, I hadn't thought about it that way. That's
Speaker 1: pretty hypocritical. Yeah, yeah, we're we're allowed to dig into
Speaker 1: other people's business, but we can't. We can't be the
Speaker 1: information or I guess.
Speaker 7: We are information for us.
Speaker 1: I don't know what we're doing.
Speaker 2: This is so interesting to me. Okay, so tell me
Speaker 2: about you said you went on two cases, one with
Speaker 2: the guy and his wife, and you followed her all
Speaker 2: around through her day and you didn't find anything. What
Speaker 2: what was the second case?
Speaker 1: It was a custody so trying to catch somebody doing something.
Speaker 1: They would look bad if she had kids with her,
Speaker 1: And same thing, you know, a bunch of nothing, which
Speaker 1: is another crazy thing, like I got paid to sit
Speaker 1: in a parking lot for four hours and wait for her.
Speaker 2: Did you bring like binoculars and shit like that, Like
Speaker 2: it's like a legit stakeout.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I have a bag and it has a has
Speaker 1: a a disguise in it. It has a Oh.
Speaker 2: So I was I was right about the stupid mustache thing.
Speaker 2: You have an actual disguise.
Speaker 1: I do personally because I'm kind of an identifiable person,
Speaker 1: Like I don't think I blend into a crowd very easily,
Speaker 1: so I bring things that would make me blend into
Speaker 1: a crowd easier.
Speaker 2: Like what but I don't think.
Speaker 1: I have like a league because I don't have natural
Speaker 1: hair color. So I have a natural hair colored wig,
Speaker 1: and I have like a T shirt, like a just
Speaker 1: a normal ass T shirt, and I usually wear normal
Speaker 1: looking pant it's like jeans and normal sneakers, and then
Speaker 1: I wear a hat because the wig kind of sucks,
Speaker 1: so I got to hide that that's a key part
Speaker 1: of the wig, and I think that helps me blend
Speaker 1: in a little more, just just look a little more normal.
Speaker 1: I have to hide my tattoos as well.
Speaker 2: Do you have a trench coat?
Speaker 1: I actually don't have a trench coat. Maybe I should
Speaker 1: invest in one, I don't. I feel like that would
Speaker 1: make me look If I went out as myself and
Speaker 1: I put on a trench coat, I think everyone would
Speaker 1: immediately know I was a private investigator. It would just.
Speaker 2: Being to me because Okay, you say you have to
Speaker 2: cover what colors your hair? Is it like? Is it
Speaker 2: like a like green or blue or something that makes
Speaker 2: it like stand out?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Right now it's blonde and pink and purple and blue.
Speaker 2: Blonde and pink and purple and blue with tattoos. Why
Speaker 2: would you have to cover up the tattoos with the
Speaker 2: tattoos like make it? I feel like when I think
Speaker 2: of a private investigator, I don't think of someone I don't.
Speaker 2: It doesn't. It doesn't seem like a tattoo wey kind
Speaker 2: of job.
Speaker 1: It's because of the copy feel to it. Yeah, it's
Speaker 1: really like it makes me identifiable. So if the person
Speaker 1: had looked at me and they had happened to look
Speaker 1: at my tattoo and think, oh, if they saw it again,
Speaker 1: then I'd be bumped. Yeah, I mean I might not
Speaker 1: be immediately, but the more they see.
Speaker 2: Me, yeah, right right now, that that makes perfect sense.
Speaker 2: If they see if you have like a sort of
Speaker 2: descript look, and they see you multiple times, they're like, wait,
Speaker 2: why the fuck does this person keep popping up interesting?
Speaker 1: Yeah, and that happens quickly.
Speaker 2: Well, I'll say this. You know, I know that you
Speaker 2: you're having these feelings. Not a single feeling that you've
Speaker 2: brought up, uh, you know on this phone call in
Speaker 2: the context of what it is that you are doing,
Speaker 2: seems remotely abnormal. Like, yeah, you know, if you've never
Speaker 2: ever shadowed a person before, and you're like, have this
Speaker 2: job where you're like a fucking super spy and you've
Speaker 2: never done it before, of course you're gonna feel a
Speaker 2: little bit nervous the first time. If it's your first time,
Speaker 2: of course you're gonna feel I would feel nervous as
Speaker 2: fuck if I were doing what you were doing. So
Speaker 2: I don't think anything that you've described as anything other
Speaker 2: than a very normal part of this process. If you could,
Speaker 2: if you could call any part of this process normal.
Speaker 2: I mean, it's a crazy thing that you're doing. What
Speaker 2: brought you to want to do this?
Speaker 6: Oh?
Speaker 1: I always wanted to be a detective, but I have
Speaker 1: never wanted to work for the government any sort and
Speaker 1: you know, in the car level or federal level, and
Speaker 1: the only other option is private investigation.
Speaker 2: So these the guy with the wife and the guy
Speaker 2: with the kid, are you going to follow up with
Speaker 2: them at all? Like, do you have like a like
Speaker 2: are they going to say yeah, another on another stakeout?
Speaker 1: Yeah? I think so. I haven't talked to the boss
Speaker 1: lady about them yet. Actually, I know that the child's
Speaker 1: case is still going and I think I'm going back
Speaker 1: out to the cheating guy on Thursday, but I know
Speaker 1: I'm going to have somebody with me that time, so
Speaker 1: that's going to be really nice.
Speaker 2: Wow, this is fascinating. This is I mean, it's scary
Speaker 2: what you're doing, because, like, if you get caught spying
Speaker 2: on someone like this is a really awkward. It's just
Speaker 2: a really you know, being looking at someone through binoculars
Speaker 2: and then having them make eye contact the binoculars in
Speaker 2: any even if you have a permit to be watching them,
Speaker 2: still an uncomfortable situation. So I understand why you have
Speaker 2: all these feelings about it, but I think you're gonna
Speaker 2: be fine.
Speaker 1: I think you did get.
Speaker 2: Exciting career ahead of you. You got caught. What happens, Well.
Speaker 1: I didn't get caught by the suspect. I got caught
Speaker 1: by another person. And she came up to my car
Speaker 1: and she was so mad at me. She's like, why
Speaker 1: are you parked here? And you know we have to
Speaker 1: lie to them, So I was like, oh, I'm just
Speaker 1: waiting for my friend, and she started going off with me.
Speaker 1: She's like, you cann't park at a church, You couldn't
Speaker 1: park at a at the store down the road, you
Speaker 1: couldn't park anywhere else. You had to park in somebody's driveway.
Speaker 5: You know.
Speaker 1: In my head, I'm like, yes, ma'am, I literally have
Speaker 1: to park in your driveway because I can't see this
Speaker 1: house from any other angle.
Speaker 2: Oh you were part okay you left out you were
Speaker 2: parked in her driveway. Yeah, okay, you left that part
Speaker 2: out when you said some lady came up to me.
Speaker 2: I was mad at time, So you're parked in this
Speaker 2: lady's driveway And she was like, hey, can you how
Speaker 2: did you resolve that conflict?
Speaker 6: Oh?
Speaker 1: I just laught because she started taking pictures of me
Speaker 1: and I was like, yeah, okay, well I'm not.
Speaker 2: Wa Well, Alex, I'm very happy to hear that you
Speaker 2: have this cool job. I'm so excited for you many
Speaker 2: more in your whole Your life is like a fucking
Speaker 2: TV show. Now that's exciting. I know that you are
Speaker 2: feeling some imposter syndrome, but I couldn't feasibly imagine you
Speaker 2: feeling anything else with this kind of job on your
Speaker 2: first day, So I don't think it's abnormal. And I
Speaker 2: think a few years from now, when you have hundreds
Speaker 2: of cases under your belt, you know, I think you'll
Speaker 2: be You'll be a hardened veteran. You have now inspired
Speaker 2: within me and possibly any other people listening loads of
Speaker 2: paranoia that any parked car that they see in their
Speaker 2: peripheral vision is a private investigator that is spying on them.
Speaker 2: Oh boy, so thank you for that gift.
Speaker 1: I would say that the chances are probably somebody doing
Speaker 1: something illegal more than it being one of us, but
Speaker 1: but not, you know, not to inspire the paranoia.
Speaker 2: But is there anything you want to say to the
Speaker 2: people of the computer before we go, Alex, Well, it's.
Speaker 1: Kind of lame, but do what you want to do.
Speaker 1: You know, if you want to be a private investigator,
Speaker 1: go do it because it's totally possible. If you want
Speaker 1: to be a musician, go do it all possible to
Speaker 1: do it.
Speaker 2: You know. I don't think that's lame at all coming
Speaker 2: from you. I think that you're you're definitely living proof
Speaker 2: that you can if you if you can dream it,
Speaker 2: you can do it.
Speaker 1: That's right. Thank you, Geko, of.
Speaker 2: Course, thank you for calling Alex h oh Man. She
Speaker 2: was a trip. Shout out to her. I met, I
Speaker 2: met what I said at the end, she really is
Speaker 2: like like for what she described to me, I totally thought,
Speaker 2: like I didn't know that you that you could actually
Speaker 2: be a detective. I thought that was a fake job.
Speaker 2: I didn't know that there are people who actually do that.
Speaker 2: That you can legally pay a person to just stalk
Speaker 2: whoever you want, That people can get stalking permits. Isn't
Speaker 2: that crazy? You can just if you want to fuck
Speaker 2: with your friend, you could just hire someone to stalk them,
Speaker 2: and it's totally legal, and Alex gets to do it.
Speaker 2: Shout out to Alex, truly a a truly proof that
Speaker 2: if you can dream it, you can do it. And
Speaker 2: she was saying she had some imposter syndrome the whole time.
Speaker 2: But I and I was kind of just so engrossed
Speaker 2: and the logistics of what it is that she does
Speaker 2: that I didn't talk to her about it too much.
Speaker 2: But also it's because like, yeah, of course she's gonna
Speaker 2: be nervous going on these things for the very first time.
Speaker 2: I mean, it's crazy. I'm stoked for her. I think
Speaker 2: she's got a very cool career ahead of her. So
Speaker 2: thank you for calling in to tell us about it, Alex,
Speaker 2: I said that, I said that weirdly, Alex. All right,
Speaker 2: all right, let's move on. Let's do another call.
Speaker 5: Hello, Hello, how's you going?
Speaker 2: Is this Joseph? Yes, it is? What's up?
Speaker 8: Man?
Speaker 5: Oh?
Speaker 4: Not much?
Speaker 5: This is the Gecko.
Speaker 2: This is the Gecko.
Speaker 6: Okay, well, I got going on everything.
Speaker 5: Nice. Just wanted to start off by saying, I enjoy
Speaker 5: watching all your clips and your streams, and I love
Speaker 5: the advice that you give out.
Speaker 2: Thank you, man, I appreciate you.
Speaker 5: So I'm calling in today because I wanted your advice.
Speaker 5: I grew up in a house full of girls and
Speaker 5: one day they had the like put on address and
Speaker 5: you know, some makeup as a joke.
Speaker 1: And I realized that in.
Speaker 5: That moment that I actually kind of liked being like that,
Speaker 5: and I kind of always played along, and in my
Speaker 5: own time, I would dress up and you know, so
Speaker 5: much sister's clothing. But now and today, with me and
Speaker 5: my wife having an apartment and stuff, it's been harder,
Speaker 5: but I still carried it on. And I actually have
Speaker 5: a group that I go to on the weekends, and
Speaker 5: she's been I feel like she's been catching on lately
Speaker 5: because it was an incident last week where she's on
Speaker 5: me wearing a pair of underwear and you know, it
Speaker 5: was kind of like I just bent over and she
Speaker 5: noticed and I told her like it was a joke.
Speaker 5: But she's been like acting strange, and I think she's
Speaker 5: catching on to me.
Speaker 2: M hmm. Interesting. So I want to get a little
Speaker 2: bit of backstory on this. So you says you're twenty
Speaker 2: eight years old. Yeah, so you've you've been and you
Speaker 2: said that this when you were growing up, So I
Speaker 2: mean this, this was like, like how old were you
Speaker 2: when you were first started, uh, wearing women's clothing.
Speaker 5: I was like, I want to say like ten. Yeah,
Speaker 5: like more and more so ever since I got with
Speaker 5: this group.
Speaker 8: Mmmm.
Speaker 5: It's the name of the group is Big Buff and
Speaker 5: Bitchen and we get together on the weekends and you know,
Speaker 5: you know it's guys that you would never expect, but
Speaker 5: you know it kind of makes me feel like more
Speaker 5: safe because and more normal because you know, these guys
Speaker 5: do it almost some somewhat just the same line, like
Speaker 5: they kind of hight because you know, I guess it's
Speaker 5: not really accepted out today's society.
Speaker 6: Mm hmm.
Speaker 2: How did you find this group of fellow cross dressers?
Speaker 5: Well, I kind of like stumbled upon it, like through
Speaker 5: Google and stuff. But that's like a long story itself.
Speaker 2: Mm hmmm. So as far as you're you know, all
Speaker 2: of this in relation to your wife, how long have
Speaker 2: you guys been married for? How long has been together for?
Speaker 5: Well period like about like seven years, but we've been
Speaker 5: married for like four Okay, so you've been.
Speaker 2: Together for seven and this is and this is not
Speaker 2: like a news you this the cross dressing has been
Speaker 2: a part of your life for like a really long
Speaker 2: time from what you've told me, right.
Speaker 5: Yeah, Like I've been experimenting more and more over the years,
Speaker 5: but yes.
Speaker 2: Okay, and throughout all those seven years, it never it
Speaker 2: never came up to her.
Speaker 5: No, because you know, it's not something I'm particularly you know,
Speaker 5: like telling everybody exactly, you know, like it's more on
Speaker 5: the tewn though mhm.
Speaker 2: Can can you tell me? Why are you afraid of
Speaker 2: your wife knowing about it?
Speaker 5: I don't want her to think, you know, like maybe
Speaker 5: I'm not attracted to her, or like I'm gay, or
Speaker 5: she might leave me, you know, like it's complicated for me. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 5: like I do love her and everything, and then you know,
Speaker 5: like at the same time, I do enjoy like other
Speaker 5: stuff that I feel like I could never tell her,
Speaker 5: Like every time I dress up, I pit a buck
Speaker 5: plug in and like that feels good for me.
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, so I you know, man, I understand this
Speaker 2: from from both of those sides. So let me ask you,
Speaker 2: because you know, wanting to wear women's clothing doesn't inherently
Speaker 2: say anything about your sexuality, but I assume that you
Speaker 2: assume that your wife will think that it means that
Speaker 2: will get the wrong idea and think, oh, he's gay.
Speaker 2: Why would I, you know, be with with a man
Speaker 2: who's gay. You know, I tried to me of course.
Speaker 5: Yeah. And she's pregnant on top of that, so it's
Speaker 5: you know, she's she's been crazy with her emotions lately.
Speaker 2: Mm hmmm. You know my opinion is I mean, look,
Speaker 2: I don't if, if, if you so, tell so tell
Speaker 2: me this. So you are attracted to your wife. You
Speaker 2: are in love with your wife. There's no sort of like,
Speaker 2: oh I might not like girls kind of thing. You
Speaker 2: you you are attracted to your wife, and this cross
Speaker 2: dressing thing doesn't have any effect on your sexuality.
Speaker 5: I just don't want her to feel like, you know,
Speaker 5: like I'm prettier than her sometimes, or like, you know,
Speaker 5: like like she has, you know, like anything to worry about.
Speaker 2: So, if you're married to this woman, you've been with
Speaker 2: her for seven years, it's important for her. I feel
Speaker 2: like it's important for you guys to have a level
Speaker 2: of communication with each other where you feel like you
Speaker 2: can adequately explain this to her. It might come as
Speaker 2: a bit of a shock, you know, especially if you
Speaker 2: guys have been together for seven years and this has
Speaker 2: sort of been a part of your life for a
Speaker 2: long time, it might come as a shock to her
Speaker 2: that you've never talked about it before. But I think
Speaker 2: if you're married to this woman and you're about to
Speaker 2: have a kid with this woman, you guys should be
Speaker 2: at a level of communication where you know, you should
Speaker 2: be able to be like, hey, I like dressing in
Speaker 2: women's clothing has no effect on you know, my sexuality.
Speaker 2: That has no effect on how I feel about you.
Speaker 2: But it is the thing about me that I've been
Speaker 2: hiding because I feel like you'll think this, and you'll
Speaker 2: think this and that, but I'm telling you this. You know,
Speaker 2: she should be able to understand that you guys should
Speaker 2: be able to have that conversation. I understand the fear
Speaker 2: behind wanting to have that conversation, but if you guys
Speaker 2: are getting married and you're having a kid, I feel
Speaker 2: like your relationship with her should be such that you
Speaker 2: guys should be able to talk this out. I mean,
Speaker 2: what do you think of that?
Speaker 5: I mean, I hear you. But the thing is, like,
Speaker 5: you know, like I know my no no offense, Like
Speaker 5: I know my girlfriend bets you know what I mean? Yes,
Speaker 5: my wife and.
Speaker 7: Uh, like.
Speaker 5: She's I don't want to say she's homophobic, but I
Speaker 5: know she's not like the idea of like people. She
Speaker 5: believes to each his own or anything else like that.
Speaker 5: But I feel like she might think like I'm a weirdo,
Speaker 5: and I don't feel like a weirdo. I feel like,
Speaker 5: you know, like I'm just trying to be myself and
Speaker 5: like just have experiences.
Speaker 2: Yeah mm hmmm. So you you think that your wife
Speaker 2: will judge you heavily for this?
Speaker 5: I think she would. She would run for the hills.
Speaker 9: I mean, if I mean, what girl would it? I
Speaker 9: don't know, Like if she saw me dressed, I wouldn't
Speaker 9: go I would.
Speaker 2: I wouldn't go. Ahead, tell me what you're gonna say.
Speaker 5: No, Like, I feel like if she actually see me
Speaker 5: dressed up and then you know, I come out like,
Speaker 5: you know, like in my tight leather clothes that I
Speaker 5: like to wear, She's gonna just walk.
Speaker 2: Away, you know, I think. And you know, look, man,
Speaker 2: I know you said you know you're you know your
Speaker 2: wife well, And this is this is hard man, because
Speaker 2: I'm sure that your relationship is a lot deeper than
Speaker 2: you could let on in this little phone call. But
Speaker 2: if you're going to be married to this person and
Speaker 2: you're gonna have a kid with this person, like I
Speaker 2: feel like they should be able to accept you for
Speaker 2: who you are. I mean, that's one of the like
Speaker 2: I mean for me personally, everyone has their own little thing,
Speaker 2: but you know that feels like a major tenant of
Speaker 2: marriage is like you you are are accepting of of
Speaker 2: of one another. I feel like and that man, you know,
Speaker 2: I feel like you deserve somebody if you're gonna get
Speaker 2: married and have a child with them, you deserve somebody
Speaker 2: who fucks with you for who you are. I mean,
Speaker 2: if you guys have been together for seven years, I mean,
Speaker 2: I like, I get it, if like you've been dating
Speaker 2: for a month, if you know, she's like, yeah, I
Speaker 2: don't know how comfortable I am with this, I'm out, like,
Speaker 2: you know, sure whatever. But I mean, if you guys
Speaker 2: have been together for seven years, I feel like the
Speaker 2: relationship has evolved to a point where you know, you
Speaker 2: should be able to talk about this again. I don't
Speaker 2: know your relationship, but it does pain me because I
Speaker 2: feel like you deserve you do You deserve a person
Speaker 2: who you know won't think you're weird for this kind
Speaker 2: of stuff. I mean, maybe if she was like, I,
Speaker 2: you know, I don't mind you doing this, but I
Speaker 2: don't want to see it, or something like that. You know,
Speaker 2: maybe that's a workable situation. But I don't know. I
Speaker 2: don't feel like this is something that you should have
Speaker 2: to hide if it's you know, if this is your wife,
Speaker 2: we're talking about what what are you What are your
Speaker 2: thoughts on all this because you know, I'm just I'm
Speaker 2: just I'm just talking ship.
Speaker 5: Well yeah, like it's just it's I guess it's the
Speaker 5: not knowing and the what if. And like I I
Speaker 5: do construction and she knows like a lot of people
Speaker 5: that I work with, and you know, like off a bid,
Speaker 5: like she was to like be mad and post anything
Speaker 5: online and you know, like all the guys would know,
Speaker 5: and like it would just I feel like it would
Speaker 5: spread like wildfire. And I maybe even if she's accepting,
Speaker 5: and you know, I don't know, she tells someone off
Speaker 5: the bid and she goes to advice or someone and
Speaker 5: people people talk mm hmmm. And I just don't feel
Speaker 5: like this secret's ready to come out yet.
Speaker 2: Yeah, dude, Okay, So you know, against everything I just said,
Speaker 2: this is your secret, this is your life. And if
Speaker 2: you feel you know, it's like, if you feel like
Speaker 2: it's the most beneficial for you to keep it a secret,
Speaker 2: then that's, of course your decision to make.
Speaker 5: I feel like a secret.
Speaker 2: I can't. I can't answer that because you only know
Speaker 2: your life and you only know what's best for you.
Speaker 2: I can't tell you what's best for you. I personally
Speaker 2: think you deserve to be with somebody who accepts you
Speaker 2: for who you are, if you're gonna get fucking married
Speaker 2: to them, because marriage I mean, I mean, like, look,
Speaker 2: I don't think marriage is that sacred. You can always
Speaker 2: get a fucking divorce, people do it all the time.
Speaker 2: But if you're gonna get fucking married to someone and
Speaker 2: have a kid with them, I mean, that's that's some
Speaker 2: serious shit. You know. That should be a person who
Speaker 2: would just like fox with you, you know, on a
Speaker 2: on a on a really deep, deep level. And I
Speaker 2: think if you're gonna get married to someone, you deserve
Speaker 2: to get married to somebody who fucks with you on
Speaker 2: that deep of a level. That's just my own opinion
Speaker 2: if you're gonna get married, But again, you're your own person.
Speaker 2: If you're evaluating everything and you're coming to the conclusion,
Speaker 2: my life would just be better if I continue to
Speaker 2: hide this. You know, I don't think you're inherently wrong
Speaker 2: or right. I don't think you're inherently wrong or right
Speaker 2: for making either decision, but I'm just kind of giving
Speaker 2: my thoughts on both sides of that.
Speaker 5: I was thinking about Meybi introducing the buff clug idea
Speaker 5: to her and seeing if she would be down with that.
Speaker 2: You could start slow like that, Yeah.
Speaker 5: I think that would be the best way to do it.
Speaker 5: Let me try next week.
Speaker 2: Well again, what's your name of Joseph, Well, Joseph, good
Speaker 2: luck to you. And and like I said, I really
Speaker 2: it's it's it's hard because I understand both sides of
Speaker 2: where you're coming from, and it's your decision at the
Speaker 2: end of the day. Totally.
Speaker 4: I do.
Speaker 2: I do think you deserve somebody who you feel like
Speaker 2: will love you, uh for exactly who you are. I
Speaker 2: feel like you deserve that. If you're gonna give somebody
Speaker 2: your lineman, that's what you're doing with marriage, given somebody
Speaker 2: your fucking life, you know, it should be somebody who
Speaker 2: you really feel like deserves it.
Speaker 5: So just saying they don't know what hurts.
Speaker 2: Hey, you know what that's not. That's not a horrible well,
Speaker 2: that's not a horrible philosophy to live by either. If
Speaker 2: that's what you choose. So thank you, good luck to you. Joseph.
Speaker 5: Well, I got a lot of.
Speaker 2: This, of course. Man, take care.
Speaker 5: You're a man.
Speaker 2: By ah, that was a tough one. That was a
Speaker 2: tough one. Let's see, it is very high.
Speaker 3: You know.
Speaker 2: It's it's hard, right because I get on here and
Speaker 2: people call me and they tell me these things, and
Speaker 2: you know, I have my thoughts of what I think, Oh,
Speaker 2: you should have, you should have if you're getting married
Speaker 2: to someone, you know, it should be someone who accepts
Speaker 2: you for who you are. You know, it's easy for
Speaker 2: me to sit here and say that I do believe it,
Speaker 2: I really do. I really do believe that that if
Speaker 2: you're going to give somebody your fucking life, you're gonna
Speaker 2: marry someone. I mean, Jesus Christ, you know, it should
Speaker 2: be somebody who accepts you, whoever you are. But that's it,
Speaker 2: you know, easy thing for me to say over the
Speaker 2: course of this fifteen minute phone call, because I'm not
Speaker 2: living in the fear, the visceral emotions of it that
Speaker 2: this guy is living in and he in you know,
Speaker 2: overcoming and you know, very it very well could be
Speaker 2: that overcoming that fear is too much for him, and
Speaker 2: he looks at his life and from a logical point
Speaker 2: of view, says, it just would make more sense to
Speaker 2: keep this as a secret. It would just make me
Speaker 2: happier if I can have this little thing, if I
Speaker 2: can go to my little group, I can have fun there,
Speaker 2: I can do my cross dressing, and then I can
Speaker 2: have my other life with my wife, who has no idea.
Speaker 2: I my other life with these construction worker friends, they
Speaker 2: have no idea, And that just makes me happen. I
Speaker 2: just want to keep it like that. And you know what,
Speaker 2: I truly, truly, truly I would I wouldn't fault him
Speaker 2: for doing that at alone. I wouldn't fault him for
Speaker 2: doing that alone. So you know, I just hope he
Speaker 2: makes whatever decision is the best for him. Okay, and scene,
Speaker 2: let's take another call movie.
Speaker 1: Hello.
Speaker 2: Hi is this Lydia.
Speaker 6: This is Lydia.
Speaker 2: What's going on with you, Lydia?
Speaker 8: Oh?
Speaker 3: You know, I've just been enjoying your podcast here.
Speaker 6: It's been good.
Speaker 2: Oh, thank you man. I appreciate that.
Speaker 3: I'm really happy I'm talking to you. I'm kind of
Speaker 3: shocked a little bit. I'm gonna be.
Speaker 2: Honest, I'm stuked to be talking to you too. I
Speaker 2: I'm really enjoying the stream tonight. I'm enjoying talking to people.
Speaker 2: Some nights feel very slow. Some nights, you know, my
Speaker 2: energy is off, but I feel very good. It really
Speaker 2: good tonight. So I'm grateful for that. Any moment I
Speaker 2: get to have where I'm I'm feeling attentive and and
Speaker 2: happy in the moment. So that was a little corny.
Speaker 2: Live in the present, can't take it back. Now it's
Speaker 2: been said, how can I get you, Lydia?
Speaker 3: Yeah, so you know, I just kind of wanted to
Speaker 3: get a little bit of your perspective. I haven't you know,
Speaker 3: talked to anyone for about four years, and and I
Speaker 3: never went on a dating app. So first time I
Speaker 3: went on Tender, I met someone pretty interesting and it's
Speaker 3: the only person I ever met on there. So yeah,
Speaker 3: this person, you know, very smart, taught me gardening stuff,
Speaker 3: like very smart. But as I got to know him
Speaker 3: a little bit more, I discovered he likes some very
Speaker 3: interesting things and then he has some suspicious behaviors. So
Speaker 3: I I'll start with like the smaller stuff, like he
Speaker 3: only likes we're both thirty years old. I feel like
Speaker 3: snapchats for like high schoolers. He will only communicate through that.
Speaker 3: I got his number like months later after I knew him,
Speaker 3: because I thought it was kind of weird, You're like,
Speaker 3: how do I not know this guy's number? So he
Speaker 3: gave it to me, and then one time I sent
Speaker 3: him a message and he like freaked out, like, no,
Speaker 3: only message me on Snapchat.
Speaker 5: I was like, Okay.
Speaker 3: Then he pays everything in cash and then so like
Speaker 3: for everything, like we'll go on a little manification all cash.
Speaker 3: If like gets an uber to my house or something
Speaker 3: like he won't use the app like he I'll order
Speaker 3: it and then he'll get here and paint me cash.
Speaker 3: So like, or he'll say, like, you know, Lidia, if
Speaker 3: anyone bothers you, like, I'll take care of I don't
Speaker 3: even know what that means. So I don't really know
Speaker 3: a lot about him.
Speaker 6: He's very nice to me though, So it's just been
Speaker 6: very interesting.
Speaker 3: And you know, as I started doing other stuff with him,
Speaker 3: like I discovered he likes wearing girls underwear and other things,
Speaker 3: and I think, what kind of you know, like made
Speaker 3: me feel like not so positive about the situation was
Speaker 3: just the way it was presented to me. I always
Speaker 3: go you know, like, it's not what you say, it's
Speaker 3: how you say it. Like how was presented to me
Speaker 3: was very shocking. I've never seen anything like that or
Speaker 3: done anything like that, or even met a guy who
Speaker 3: really like, like I have friends, but like I never
Speaker 3: experienced that with a guy, you know.
Speaker 2: So when you say, oh, I'm just to clarify when
Speaker 2: you say when you say it or do you mean
Speaker 2: do you mean everything you've been talking about this far
Speaker 2: just the women's underwear.
Speaker 3: Thing, well A saying I'm like the I don't know
Speaker 3: how much I can say here, you know, like a
Speaker 3: pike from the woman underwear. You can say whatever you want, Okay,
Speaker 3: So okay, So it started small, so for I still
Speaker 3: call me like can you stick your finger in my behind?
Speaker 3: And I was like okay, like I never had a
Speaker 3: guy who left him. I'm like sure, whatever, I'll explore you.
Speaker 3: And then it started going to butt plugs and I
Speaker 3: was like okay, yeah, okay, yeah.
Speaker 4: I'll do that.
Speaker 3: Then one day we were like kind of in actually,
Speaker 3: you know, having good time, and then he's just like, oh,
Speaker 3: you know, I want to show you like the porn
Speaker 3: I like. And I was just kind of like in
Speaker 3: a shock because I was, you know, a little distracted,
Speaker 3: so he just showed it to me and then he's like,
Speaker 3: isn't this just like a beautiful girl with such a large,
Speaker 3: you know, cock?
Speaker 4: So after that, I was.
Speaker 3: I was kind of like a like surprised because I
Speaker 3: was not expecting anything like that. So then, you know,
Speaker 3: I didn't want to make him feel awkward because I feel,
Speaker 3: you know, that's something like something you don't fully always share,
Speaker 3: I guess. So yeah, I'm glad he was open and all,
Speaker 3: but like it was still like kind of like where'd
Speaker 3: that come from? And yeah, so I didn't really say
Speaker 3: much about it. But then after like the whole thing,
Speaker 3: I like kind I like thought about it, and I
Speaker 3: was like, me, you kind of feel a little insecure
Speaker 3: because I'll never have a penis. Like these whole times
Speaker 3: that we've been doing things like has he imagined me
Speaker 3: with the penis? Like you know, he wanted me to
Speaker 3: get butt plugs put my finger in him and then
Speaker 3: he'll like suck my finger in face. It's like, my
Speaker 3: girl cock. I didn't even know what that was.
Speaker 2: Okay, So so we've got we've got a lot of
Speaker 2: things going on here, two different we're talking those are
Speaker 2: two separate things. By the way, I feel like you're
Speaker 2: bringing up two separate things. Yeah, because there's the whole like,
Speaker 2: what the fuck's up with this guy and what he does,
Speaker 2: and then there's what the yeah, you know, what's up
Speaker 2: with this guy in the bedroom type of thing. So
Speaker 2: let's talk about the first one first. He pays for
Speaker 2: everything in cash, so I mean it's pretty safe to
Speaker 2: assume that he does some he's a drug guy, you said,
Speaker 2: you say, I mean you tell the call screen, or
Speaker 2: that he works in the cannabis industry.
Speaker 3: Yeah, he's a professional license cannaby cannabis industry. He like
Speaker 3: manages like four hundred plants in his warehouse.
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, And he clearly has like a a privacy
Speaker 2: thing because uh yeah, he only wants to do snapchat.
Speaker 2: He's in one of your conversations recorded. He pays for
Speaker 2: everything with cash. Maybe he just has this like inherent
Speaker 2: distrust of like a government. Say that again.
Speaker 3: He always is concerned about safety.
Speaker 1: Like that too.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so that one last time he said it, you
Speaker 2: cut out right when you were talking about safety.
Speaker 3: So he he's also always very concerned about safety all
Speaker 3: the time, Like he always wants to have a gun
Speaker 3: around him.
Speaker 2: He always has a gun around him.
Speaker 3: Yeah that too, Yes, I think that's like important detail
Speaker 3: at all.
Speaker 2: Like every time you're with him he has a gun.
Speaker 8: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Like he'll come over and he'll bring his gun. Yeah,
Speaker 3: we go somewhere, like on vacation, he'll take it.
Speaker 2: Okaym how does that make you feel?
Speaker 3: Well, I'm not really afraid of guns. I'm pretty comfortable
Speaker 3: with I own one myself. It's not like I go
Speaker 3: you know, I'm not like a fanatic and goal it's
Speaker 3: crazy about him, But I'm a girl, you know, who
Speaker 3: lives at home.
Speaker 6: So I just have a can gun for protection, so
Speaker 6: it doesn't really bother me.
Speaker 3: But it is kind of odd that it's like why,
Speaker 3: like he's so worried about safety that you always feel
Speaker 3: like you have to have a gun, Like I have one,
Speaker 3: but I don't feel like if I leave my house,
Speaker 3: I must have it with me to feel safe, you know.
Speaker 2: Okay, So he pays with everything in cash. He's afraid
Speaker 2: of people. Listening to this conversation, since he carries a
Speaker 2: gun around him around with him everywhere, as you say,
Speaker 2: not just like you guys go on your many vacations
Speaker 2: that he brings the gun.
Speaker 1: M m hmm.
Speaker 2: Okay, so like, you know what him the whole the
Speaker 2: whole second part of this where it's like he is,
Speaker 2: you know, attracted to trans people and you're wondering, like, oh, yeah,
Speaker 2: not attracted me because I'm not trans, you know whatever,
Speaker 2: That is what it is.
Speaker 3: But yeah, yeah, yeah, what.
Speaker 2: How long have you known this guy for?
Speaker 8: Oh?
Speaker 2: I would say like eight months or so, since it's
Speaker 2: been been dating for eight months.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but I don't see him all the time. It's
Speaker 3: a little bit like an interesting setup, you know, because
Speaker 3: I'm pretty independent myself, so I only see on maybe
Speaker 3: a couple of times a month, and then sometimes we'll
Speaker 3: take like a little vacationers thing.
Speaker 6: Yeah.
Speaker 2: And then you wrote he has offered to take care
Speaker 2: of people. You told me this as well. You said
Speaker 2: he is offered to take care of Yeah.
Speaker 3: He has that, Yeah, said a couple of times, like
Speaker 3: meeting taken care of I honestly never asked for details.
Speaker 3: I think I just heard that and I was like,
Speaker 3: what the what is that? I was like, Okay, I'm
Speaker 3: just gonna yeah, you know, I'm gonna say if I
Speaker 3: have a problem.
Speaker 2: With you know, lydia uh listen, Lydia, you're your own
Speaker 2: human being. You are thirty years old, you have the
Speaker 2: agency to you know, date, see, you do whatever you want.
Speaker 2: But by god, this guy, this guy would not date
Speaker 2: this guy. This guy seems dangerous to.
Speaker 5: Me, you know.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think I tend to like dangers. I don't know. Yeah,
Speaker 3: it's a pattern. I guess I'm very smart.
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, it's pattern.
Speaker 3: Yeah. My the last person I was with a very
Speaker 3: toxic person too.
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, you said two Just now are you.
Speaker 6: You said?
Speaker 2: Why don't you said it was toxic? You know, I'm
Speaker 2: just talking you through what's going on with you? Do
Speaker 2: you do you think he's toxic?
Speaker 3: Not really, because he's very.
Speaker 6: Nice to me.
Speaker 3: Like, yes, there's these odd behaviors.
Speaker 1: I see that.
Speaker 3: I see that as read he flags that you should
Speaker 3: run for the hills for I get that.
Speaker 8: But he's also very kind to me, like very generous,
Speaker 8: very very nice.
Speaker 6: Very nice.
Speaker 2: Very see. I'm conflicted. I'm I'm conflicted about this because
Speaker 2: you know, look, you're your own person. You should do
Speaker 2: whatever you want. But yeah, it just it just it
Speaker 2: just makes me squeamish that, you know, because like, look,
Speaker 2: people are nice to you until they're not.
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 2: He doesn't seem like a guy who's I don't know.
Speaker 2: It's just this is a weird situation to me. This
Speaker 2: guy's always carrying on a gun and he's like because
Speaker 2: another thing is if you don't really know that, if
Speaker 2: you don't really know what's going on with this guy.
Speaker 2: I'm in my head, I'm like, well what if you
Speaker 2: know what if like there's he's involved with some fucking
Speaker 2: gang or something, and they're like, all right, well we
Speaker 2: can't get him, let's figure out who's close to him
Speaker 2: and you know, send him, kidnap her or whatever. The fuck.
Speaker 2: I mean, Look, I'm not gonna tell you it's I'm
Speaker 2: not going to tell you it's not safe. I'm not
Speaker 2: going to tell you it is safe. I I I
Speaker 2: don't really know. I really can't gather that much information
Speaker 2: over this eleven minute phone call. But yeah, well let
Speaker 2: me ask you this. You called me, and I don't
Speaker 2: know if this is just like something that you're just like, oh,
Speaker 2: I called the get go. Let me think of what
Speaker 2: I have to talk about. But the fact that you
Speaker 2: called me shows that there is some inkling within you
Speaker 2: that's like it's a little bit skeptical. Let's talk this,
Speaker 2: talk about this gut feeling. What's what's this gut feeling
Speaker 2: saying to you?
Speaker 3: It just sounds well, okay. So I just feel like I,
Speaker 3: in a sense need him for something because I grow
Speaker 3: cannabis plants and he gave me some, so I need
Speaker 3: him to tell me, like what my nutrients to give it.
Speaker 3: And then everything's so secretive, like if I ask, oh,
Speaker 3: what did I give this with the brand of it,
Speaker 3: I want to share it with whatever, and then very
Speaker 3: limited information will only tell me day by day.
Speaker 2: Right backup, back back up. Yeah, you say you need you.
Speaker 2: This gut feeling is saying we're all over the place.
Speaker 2: Now you're saying you need him to help you grow
Speaker 2: your plants.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I know that.
Speaker 2: And you're saying that as a reason to stay with him.
Speaker 2: What are you saying that as.
Speaker 5: Well?
Speaker 3: See the way I feel it, I don't really see
Speaker 3: him too much.
Speaker 8: I see him maybe a couple of times a month,
Speaker 8: and then when you feel them, it's like a good time.
Speaker 8: So the time, like I still get like instructions on
Speaker 8: my plants, and then I want to learn how to
Speaker 8: grow them so I can just have that as my supply,
Speaker 8: so I see it as I.
Speaker 7: Only have to Okay, hold on, we're geting, we're getting
Speaker 7: off top, we're getting off topic here. This is feels
Speaker 7: off topic because I'm talking about this gut feeling. You
Speaker 7: called me because you wanted to talk to me about
Speaker 7: this stuff. How you feel like this guy is shady?
Speaker 7: You know what, the bedroom stuff. It feels like an
Speaker 7: after the fact thing, but you just feel like he
Speaker 7: was shady, and so he called to talk about it
Speaker 7: because a gut feeling is telling you it's shady. Tell
Speaker 7: me about that gut feeling.
Speaker 3: Yeah, my gut feeling says it's not worth my time.
Speaker 2: Okay, you got feelings telling you that it's not time.
Speaker 4: I don't know.
Speaker 3: Actually, I don't know.
Speaker 1: That's a that's a I don't know.
Speaker 2: This is this is a this is a This is
Speaker 2: a tough situation because you're an adult. I'm not you know,
Speaker 2: I'm not here to tell you what you should or
Speaker 2: shouldn't do. Yeah, Like, I mean, if you want my
Speaker 2: I'm not even looking to the chat right now. I'm
Speaker 2: sure everyone has the same thing where they're like, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: this guy, he sounds to me like he's kind of bad. News.
Speaker 2: You're an adult. You can make whatever risky decisions you
Speaker 2: want to make. But it's definitely I just I don't
Speaker 2: know about this guy. It seems like a weird situation.
Speaker 3: To be in.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so just be vigilant at least. Yeah, and this
Speaker 2: is you said you're on tender right.
Speaker 6: Yeah, it was the first time I used it, only
Speaker 6: person I met there.
Speaker 2: M hmmm, are you talking to other people on tender?
Speaker 4: No?
Speaker 3: I only like to sleep with one person at a time.
Speaker 2: Mm hmmmm. Well Lydia, Uh, good luck to you, I hope.
Speaker 2: Talking about this situation, you said, did you tell me that?
Speaker 2: Have you like told told other people that you're seeing
Speaker 2: this guy? And like just about this ship.
Speaker 6: Just one person?
Speaker 2: Or is it like one of your friends? What does
Speaker 2: your friend think about this whole situation?
Speaker 5: Oh, they don't.
Speaker 6: They don't think he's a positive person.
Speaker 3: The beer out?
Speaker 2: Okay, all right, so now we have two perspectives, right
Speaker 2: because I'm a little and this is a bad time too,
Speaker 2: because I'm thinking, like, well, shit, if she's gonna break
Speaker 2: up with him, like I'm almost I'm like, dude, I'm
Speaker 2: scared about like how are you going to leave this?
Speaker 2: Because this guy just seems like he's a this is messing.
Speaker 2: If I'm you, I'm like, okay, cool because I you know,
Speaker 2: I'm just think about like if you're gonna leave this
Speaker 2: like is to see has he ever ever been like
Speaker 2: violent or weird just a little shady?
Speaker 8: No, one just like the communications being is kind of off,
Speaker 8: you know, like the cash, the.
Speaker 6: That's it.
Speaker 3: But yeah, I don't really know a whole lot about him,
Speaker 3: so that's kind of good too. Yeah. He just he's
Speaker 3: very nice, to be very generous, very nice Christians.
Speaker 2: Well Adio like squirt things well, Lydia, Uh, you know,
Speaker 2: look man, be vigilant, uh all that stuff. Thank you
Speaker 2: for sharing.
Speaker 4: Uh?
Speaker 2: Is there anything that you want to say to the
Speaker 2: people the computer before we go?
Speaker 3: No, thank you for listening. I think listening helps more
Speaker 3: than you know.
Speaker 2: Awesome, Thank you for calling, Lydia.
Speaker 3: Thank you, Hi. Bye.
Speaker 2: Would I personally date a guy who brings a gun everywhere?
Speaker 2: I would not.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: That just had bad news written all over it. That
Speaker 2: had bad news written all over it. And you and
Speaker 2: I heard Liddy. I almost went deeper into this, but
Speaker 2: I guess I didn't. Where she said you heard her
Speaker 2: say she said that she's attracted to danger, and maybe
Speaker 2: that's part of the reason why she continues to see him.
Speaker 2: And she had all these reasons. She was sort of
Speaker 2: justifying it. She was like, well, he's nice to me
Speaker 2: and I only see him a few months, a few
Speaker 2: times a month, and like whatever. You know, she's an adult.
Speaker 2: She can make her own decisions. If she is attracted
Speaker 2: to danger and wants to do risky stuff, you know,
Speaker 2: it's her prerogative. But dad just fucking didn't sit right
Speaker 2: with me at all. Anything with that guy. I hope
Speaker 2: she is okay. I hope she makes the right decision,
Speaker 2: whatever that may be. Stay safe Lydia, Okay, moving on. Hello,
Speaker 2: Oh my god?
Speaker 3: Is this me?
Speaker 4: No, it's me while.
Speaker 6: Oh my god.
Speaker 4: I didn't think I was gonna get picked.
Speaker 2: High and here you are. You're picked. Let's make it
Speaker 2: worth it.
Speaker 4: How are you doing tonight, lyle Joey.
Speaker 2: I'm doing pretty good. I'm feeling I to be honest,
Speaker 2: I'm feeling better than I felt in the past forty
Speaker 2: eight hours. How are you doing?
Speaker 6: You know what?
Speaker 4: I'm I'm doing pretty good. I was just making mistakes
Speaker 4: for dinner and I I actually saw my spoke alarms,
Speaker 4: so I had to do with that for a few minutes.
Speaker 4: So it's good now, is.
Speaker 2: It still going.
Speaker 4: No, you'd hear it if it was.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's why I thought. That's why, That's why that
Speaker 2: was a dumb question of me to ask what's going
Speaker 2: on with you, joey.
Speaker 4: Ah, nothing much. I'm just uh, just living, trying to
Speaker 4: live my best life, you know, doing doing everything I
Speaker 4: can to make others happy in the world. You know.
Speaker 2: Uh, is there anything in particular that you want to
Speaker 2: talk about tonight?
Speaker 6: Yeah.
Speaker 4: So the reason I called you, Lyle was because so
Speaker 4: I don't know if you know who the Colorado Avalanche are,
Speaker 4: but they are. They are the Colorado hockey team. So
Speaker 4: like they're the professional hockey team in Colorado, and they've
Speaker 4: just made it to the Western Conference finals, so they're
Speaker 4: one they're one round away from making it to like
Speaker 4: the championship, right.
Speaker 2: Mm hmm?
Speaker 4: Does that Does that make sense?
Speaker 6: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Of course?
Speaker 4: Okay, Well when they so for context, in game in
Speaker 4: game five, they they in game five, they blew a
Speaker 4: three nothing lead. So in the third period they had
Speaker 4: a three to one lead and they blew it. They
Speaker 4: ended up losing that game five to four in overtime.
Speaker 4: And I found myself getting very upset, like I was
Speaker 4: beyond upset, right, oh yeah, so so except that I
Speaker 4: pounded my fist at the bar and I like hurt
Speaker 4: my fists for a little bit, and I went to
Speaker 4: bed angry. And then when I woke up, I found
Speaker 4: myself I was very anxious because my team happened to
Speaker 4: have this curse on them where they couldn't get out
Speaker 4: of the second round. They did, they did eventually win
Speaker 4: the game, but up until that point where they won
Speaker 4: the game, I was extremely like, just's just a nervous
Speaker 4: that we were going to lose again. And I I
Speaker 4: found that I was letting myself become hyper, like my emotions,
Speaker 4: my happiness, and my sadness were dictated by the hockey team.
Speaker 8: Right.
Speaker 4: So my question to you is how do I how
Speaker 4: how should I not get so invested because I like
Speaker 4: have I have a ton of jerseys I buy, you know,
Speaker 4: I just bought tickets to game one tomorrow, you know,
Speaker 4: so like I am a super fan, but I don't
Speaker 4: want to have my emotions connected to it, you know
Speaker 4: what I mean?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Man, it's well, you tell the call screener that you
Speaker 2: feel like your obsession with sports is letting it letting
Speaker 2: you know, affecting your happiness and your emotions to an
Speaker 2: excessive degree. Yes, yes, so I feel like sports is
Speaker 2: like with all things, you know, escapism, you know, because
Speaker 2: your your emotion invested in something, and it feels kind
Speaker 2: of good to care about shit, be emotionally invested in shit.
Speaker 2: And that's why people get invested into sports, is because
Speaker 2: there's something to that. And I guess the problem and
Speaker 2: you can say this about a lot of things, but
Speaker 2: it becomes a problem when you get so emotionally invested
Speaker 2: into this thing that is not worth being the sole
Speaker 2: focus of all of the emotions that you have to
Speaker 2: invest right, that's the problem. So I ask you, what
Speaker 2: else in your life do you have to become emotionally
Speaker 2: invested in?
Speaker 4: Well, well, I kind of just got a boyfriend, so
Speaker 4: I have that, but he's an hour away from me,
Speaker 4: and I can only ever, I can only see him
Speaker 4: like every the week because you know, gas is expensive, mm,
Speaker 4: so you know I'm trying to Uh, So I have that,
Speaker 4: and then I have a couple. I don't know if
Speaker 4: you've heard of the shows called Has Been Hotel and
Speaker 4: Hell of a Boss. They're on YouTube. They're free to watch.
Speaker 4: So has been Hotel is about the Princess of Hell.
Speaker 4: They have like a purge in Hell every year.
Speaker 2: Ar what the what the what the show is about?
Speaker 2: Are you saying that those shows are what you would
Speaker 2: You're becoming emotionally invested in.
Speaker 5: Yes, but the.
Speaker 4: Problem is the season finale of of one of the
Speaker 4: shows is taking a while to come out because it's
Speaker 4: an independently funded show, and then the other one, the
Speaker 4: other one is a is it's still coming out, So
Speaker 4: I'm kind of invested in that.
Speaker 5: Yeah, what do you do?
Speaker 2: What do you do for for a living? Or are
Speaker 2: you in are you in school? Or do you work?
Speaker 4: I work at this place called micro Chip micro Chip Man.
Speaker 4: People are people are mean?
Speaker 5: And chat.
Speaker 2: Joe Joe, Joe Joey. Can you hear me? Mhm, Joy,
Speaker 2: Please don't read the chat. Please put the chat away
Speaker 2: and we'll just you and me talk. Don't worry about
Speaker 2: what they're saying. They're not real people, they're just spots.
Speaker 2: This is all and you're not real either. The callers
Speaker 2: aren't real. I'm not real. No, No, this is real.
Speaker 2: We're all a dream in my head. Don't read the chat?
Speaker 2: Can you hear me, Joey, Yes, I can hear you. Sorry, No,
Speaker 2: it's okay, man, don't worrybout. Don't listen to anything. O
Speaker 2: they said. Okay, all right, so you have you have
Speaker 2: your boyfriend? You are, Yeah, you work at this place
Speaker 2: called microchip. Tell me, tell me more about your job.
Speaker 2: What do you do there?
Speaker 4: So it's it's kind of hard to describe what I
Speaker 4: do there because it's like I literally make microchips. So
Speaker 4: I'm in a clean room, like I'm wearing a bunny suit,
Speaker 4: which is kind of like a half in that suit
Speaker 4: of white, and like you have to put boots on,
Speaker 4: you have to put glasses on, but the whole shield.
Speaker 2: Okay. Do you like your job?
Speaker 4: Not really? But it pays very well and it's a
Speaker 4: very it's like a very professional job.
Speaker 2: Okay, that's fair. So you don't like the job itself,
Speaker 2: but you like the status and the money, which is fair.
Speaker 1: Right.
Speaker 2: Okay, See if your boyfriends he lives an hour away.
Speaker 2: Do you have Do you have friends?
Speaker 3: Yes?
Speaker 6: I do.
Speaker 4: They're they are they're very busy because they deal with
Speaker 4: a lot of crap themselves. Sure, so I don't really
Speaker 4: get to talk to them that often. And we do
Speaker 4: hang out at a club meeting like at like a
Speaker 4: club every every other Wednesday that I can make.
Speaker 2: It for for for a card game awesome. So if
Speaker 2: your card game club every other week, that's great. You
Speaker 2: have this job which you seem like you're proud of
Speaker 2: and spaking the money. If you don't like the job
Speaker 2: that much yourself, you have this, boyfriends, is the reason
Speaker 2: I'm asking you all this stuff because you know, we're
Speaker 2: kind of trying to find like you're getting and and
Speaker 2: you and this is you you telling me that you
Speaker 2: feel like it's a problem for you being too heavily
Speaker 2: emotionally invested into uh sports, which is something that you
Speaker 2: just you know, I mean it's a classic thing that
Speaker 2: you have no control over and that it has no
Speaker 2: control over you, you know. So I think it's you know,
Speaker 2: everybody has their thing, whether it's video games or movies
Speaker 2: or whatever, and you know, if it makes you happy,
Speaker 2: that's awesome. But you know, I think you also understand
Speaker 2: that like there's a you know, you want to limit
Speaker 2: your amount of emotional investment in this kind of stuff
Speaker 2: before it gets like too real, because you're describing it
Speaker 2: as getting too real and find better things to be
Speaker 2: emotionally invested in. And your relationships are great things to
Speaker 2: be emotionally invested in. You know, your friends. I love
Speaker 2: that you have this card group of people. I think
Speaker 2: that's awesome. I love that you have this relationship that's
Speaker 2: that's new, that you seem excited about. That's awesome. You
Speaker 2: don't seem too invested in your job, but that's that's okay.
Speaker 2: Now everyone has to love their job. But I guess
Speaker 2: I'm trying to think of, like, what are some productive
Speaker 2: things for you to get a mouly invested in that
Speaker 2: aren't just uh, you know, sports or or entertainment necessarily.
Speaker 4: Yeah, And see, see that's the problem because I funny,
Speaker 4: funnily enough, I do have a real therapist and a
Speaker 4: psychiatrist and we talk about these things because I do.
Speaker 4: I do take antidepressants and stuff. But the problem is,
Speaker 4: like it they like, all they help me do is
Speaker 4: like get out of bed, really, and then it's up
Speaker 4: to me to determine what to do. And I'm not
Speaker 4: a very interesting person. I live kind of in a
Speaker 4: I live in a very beautiful city where there's a
Speaker 4: lot of nature outdoorsy stuff, and I'm not a very
Speaker 4: outdoorsy person. So you know, I'm more like, let's go
Speaker 4: do things with people. Let's go let's go hang out
Speaker 4: with people. But the problem is we don't have anybody
Speaker 4: to go do those things with. No, then you kind
Speaker 4: of just have to find something, you know.
Speaker 2: Hm hmmm. Because you say you're not a very interesting person,
Speaker 2: do you do you genuine question? Do you want to
Speaker 2: be more interesting?
Speaker 5: Well?
Speaker 4: I mean yes and no, Like I I want I
Speaker 4: want to I want to be a good enough person
Speaker 4: and an interesting enough person to be able to make
Speaker 4: an impact on the world where I can make people smile,
Speaker 4: make people happy, just you know, be enlighten people's lives
Speaker 4: where they don't have one.
Speaker 2: But at the same time, I want to say, right there,
Speaker 2: I just want to say, right there, I think what
Speaker 2: you just said, that goal. I think that in and
Speaker 2: of itself is a thing that is worth you becoming
Speaker 2: emotionally invested in. Is the the idea of that and
Speaker 2: how you can execute upon that idea? Does that make sense?
Speaker 2: Mm hmmm, because.
Speaker 4: So like try and find try and find a way
Speaker 4: to get involved in like local community and stuff.
Speaker 2: Right, yeah, I love that. I mean, yeah, that's one
Speaker 2: of you know, a billion different ways that you can
Speaker 2: satisfy that goal right there. I'm a big fan of
Speaker 2: the general, the general idea that can be filled in
Speaker 2: many different vessels, such as getting involved in local ship
Speaker 2: like you just said. So I think that, right there
Speaker 2: is a great thing to be emotionally invested in that's
Speaker 2: not necessarily you know, sports or or entertainment. Tell me,
Speaker 2: what else does your therapist tell you when you bring
Speaker 2: all this ship up to them?
Speaker 4: So my therap, I actually my last meeting with him
Speaker 4: was like two weeks ago because I can't afford him
Speaker 4: anymore because he's I have insurance, but he's out of market,
Speaker 4: so I have to pay out of pocket for him. Yeah,
Speaker 4: so I'm actually working on buying a new therapist. But
Speaker 4: what he was saying was, you know, I think maybe
Speaker 4: the stems from you just having a having an overwhelming
Speaker 4: sense of self hate.
Speaker 2: Hmmm, really, what was the reason for that?
Speaker 4: Because because I do have an overwhelming sense of self loathing,
Speaker 4: self hatred, self skitty you know stuff, right, And you know,
Speaker 4: and you know, I look at people like you while
Speaker 4: and I see the great impact you're having on your community,
Speaker 4: and you know, that's what I want to do. I
Speaker 4: want to help people, even if it's just talking. You know,
Speaker 4: talking to someone even for five minutes a day can
Speaker 4: maybe save someone's life, you know.
Speaker 2: M yeah, man, I appreciate you saying that. I think, well,
Speaker 2: I think that's awesome. I I think that if if
Speaker 2: you get anything out of it, if we can take
Speaker 2: this call down to a thesis of it for you
Speaker 2: to like think about with all this shit, I think
Speaker 2: that right there is the thesis is is you know,
Speaker 2: great you have and I've talked to people a lot
Speaker 2: about this before. You have like this central idea that
Speaker 2: you want to help people. That's a great it's a
Speaker 2: fantastic foundation. Not not necessarily that idea itself, but just
Speaker 2: to have any idea of what you want to do
Speaker 2: while you're alive. And so all this all this emotional
Speaker 2: energy that you're putting into, if I can give you
Speaker 2: one sort of recommendation, all this emotional energy that you're
Speaker 2: putting into, and not to say that you have to
Speaker 2: stop watching hockey or stop you know, uh, watching these
Speaker 2: these online shows or anything like that, but like I
Speaker 2: would take some of the emotional energy that you're putting
Speaker 2: into those things and put it into really sitting down
Speaker 2: and thinking like I would like, dude, even if you
Speaker 2: wrote out a list on paper of like, Okay, I
Speaker 2: want to help people. I want to give back to
Speaker 2: the community in some way. What are concrete ways that
Speaker 2: I could do that. Does it involve going on fucking
Speaker 2: Facebook events and finding when people are picking up trash
Speaker 2: at the local park, or does it involve going on
Speaker 2: YouTube and making videos talking about your experience with your
Speaker 2: self hatred and how that you know you sharing that
Speaker 2: might be able to help other people. Whatever, it is,
Speaker 2: just like taking some time to brainstorm and really think
Speaker 2: about actionable ways for you to accomplish this central idea
Speaker 2: that you have, I think would help. And I think
Speaker 2: that And I'm not a real therapist. I'm i going
Speaker 2: to tell you anything that your real therapist, you know whatever.
Speaker 2: But I think with the self hatred thing, I think
Speaker 2: we all deal with a little bit of that. And
Speaker 2: I think if you had a little bit of evidence
Speaker 2: for yourself, right, if you sat down and you wrote
Speaker 2: this stuff out, and then you went and actioned upon it,
Speaker 2: and then it provided you with a little bit of
Speaker 2: evidence of like, Okay, great I do and you and
Speaker 2: this will happen. This will happen if you take some
Speaker 2: form of action toward it is a little bit of
Speaker 2: evidence will sprout up and you'll be like, oh, I
Speaker 2: do have the ability to affect change in other people,
Speaker 2: and I have evidenced that to myself through these actions
Speaker 2: I've taken. You know, your brain won't be able to
Speaker 2: ignore that, So that that is what I would I
Speaker 2: would recommend to you. What do you what do you
Speaker 2: think about all of that?
Speaker 4: Okay, I think you're right. I think that's that's some
Speaker 4: of the best advice I've gotten in a long time.
Speaker 4: And you know, I really I can't believe it's coming
Speaker 4: from a get go.
Speaker 2: No, I can't believe it's coming from the get go.
Speaker 4: But Lyle, thank you, thank you so much.
Speaker 2: Of course, man, Joey, of course, of course. What's the
Speaker 2: name of this team again?
Speaker 4: The Colorado Avalanche?
Speaker 2: Colorado. Okay, I'll be keeping an eye on the Colorado Avalanche.
Speaker 2: And I do hope you take the time to think
Speaker 2: about actionable ways to you go off on that idea,
Speaker 2: because I believe in your Joey, you sound like a
Speaker 2: sweet guy, and uh, you know, I'm wishing you good
Speaker 2: luck on your journey.
Speaker 4: Thank you, And people don't forget to tip your bartenders.
Speaker 2: Touching baby, have a good night, joe.
Speaker 5: Lyle.
Speaker 4: I like Joey.
Speaker 2: He's a sweet guy. He's a sweet guy. I talk
Speaker 2: about this all the time on here, rarely think about
Speaker 2: it when I'm trying to solve my own problems of
Speaker 2: my own life. That's how a lot of therapy you
Speaker 2: got those stuff goes from it of little moments in
Speaker 2: my life where I'm like, well, you told people on
Speaker 2: the internet you should to do this, when you fucking
Speaker 2: do it, and I'm like, ah, fuck, I'm therapy geckoing
Speaker 2: myself because I have tenants like that. The whole, the whole,
Speaker 2: That whole call was about having a little inkling of
Speaker 2: a general idea of what you want to do with
Speaker 2: your time alive and then trying to figure out how
Speaker 2: to do it, which is what I hope Joey does.
Speaker 2: I think mine is that I just want to do
Speaker 2: something interesting. I just want to be doing something interesting.
Speaker 2: I think there's something interesting about talking to strangers on
Speaker 2: the phone about their lives, and so I do that,
Speaker 2: and if I ever can't do that, I will think
Speaker 2: of something else interesting to do. It's always good to
Speaker 2: have some sort of general, vague tenant. That is just
Speaker 2: a floaty idea more so than a specific I want
Speaker 2: to go to Berlin and be a be a crab fisherman,
Speaker 2: because then when you're banned from Berlin and you find
Speaker 2: out you're allergic to crabs, you're fucked. But if you're
Speaker 2: just like I'm going to do interesting things, then you
Speaker 2: know there's infinite ways to fulfill that. Good luck to Joey,
Speaker 2: sweet boy. Sorry the chat was being mean to him.
Speaker 2: Hope they don't do that again.
Speaker 4: Everythink goes on the line, making your phone calls every night.
Speaker 2: Everythingcon goes to it and ride you're teaching.
Speaker 1: Your cloud on the meaning of your life.
Speaker 2: That he's not really an expert.