WEBVTT - "I'M A REAL PRIVATE DETECTIVE"

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<v Speaker 1>Hello, Hi.

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<v Speaker 2>Uh is this Alex?

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<v Speaker 1>It is?

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<v Speaker 2>What is going on with you?

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<v Speaker 3>Dog?

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<v Speaker 1>I just opened some civs? What about you?

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<v Speaker 4>Dog?

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<v Speaker 1>Oh? And I have a modilo.

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<v Speaker 2>Is SIV is like civilization like the video game? Right?

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah? Have you played it?

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<v Speaker 2>I have. I don't really have the patience for games

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<v Speaker 2>like that because I feel like SIV is a is

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<v Speaker 2>a commitment, like I don't. I don't do any entertainment

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<v Speaker 2>thing that's a commitment. Like I won't even watch a

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<v Speaker 2>movie because I know I'm in it for an hour

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<v Speaker 2>and a half and a game of SIV. I mean

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<v Speaker 2>that's like three days. Right. How long is the game

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<v Speaker 2>of SIEV last it is?

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I mean it can go on for a really

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<v Speaker 1>long time. I'm on the second day.

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<v Speaker 2>I've been invited by friends before to play Dungeons and

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<v Speaker 2>Dragons and that's just my worst fucking nightmare because it's

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<v Speaker 2>I mean, that's a whole commitment, you know. I want

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<v Speaker 2>to say I want to say this real thing about

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<v Speaker 2>Dungeons and Dragons real quick, because I don't know why

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<v Speaker 2>I need to get this out there. A lot of

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<v Speaker 2>the times in Dungeons and Dragons, like when like I've

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<v Speaker 2>been with my friends and I like talked about putting

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<v Speaker 2>a game together, and they're like, we need somebody who's

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<v Speaker 2>like knows a lot about the game in our group

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<v Speaker 2>that they can like guide us through it. Does that

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<v Speaker 2>make sense your play Dungeons and Dragons?

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah? Yeah, I think I really want to.

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<v Speaker 2>But I think that that's not what you want. You

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<v Speaker 2>don't want anyone in the group who knows what they're

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<v Speaker 2>talking about, because then that person's just gonna be running

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<v Speaker 2>everything you. I want to play Dungeons Dragons with a

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<v Speaker 2>group of people where nobody knows what they're doing, and

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<v Speaker 2>that feels like it's more fun than having one guy

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<v Speaker 2>be like, Okay, now you do this, now you do this,

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<v Speaker 2>now you do this, now you do this.

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<v Speaker 5>Right.

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<v Speaker 1>Wait, it's way more fun if you figure it out together,

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<v Speaker 1>way more fun.

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<v Speaker 2>Anyway. Let's see, what is your name, Alex, Alex, it's

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<v Speaker 2>us here that you are a private investigator. Tell me

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<v Speaker 2>about that. What is that? Like?

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<v Speaker 1>Oh, well, there's a lot of things you can do

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<v Speaker 1>right now. I mostly do like surveillance, so a lot

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<v Speaker 1>of cheating spouses, trying to figure out if people are

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<v Speaker 1>cheating on each other. Really you can do yeah, yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>that's actually like a lot of what prime investigators do,

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<v Speaker 1>and they do a lot of insurance too, to like

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<v Speaker 1>see if you lied about your insurance claim and stuff.

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<v Speaker 2>So back up for a second. I want to get

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<v Speaker 2>the whole picture here. So you're says you're twenty three

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<v Speaker 2>years old. Twenty yeah, twenty four. So are you Is

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<v Speaker 2>this a private practice or do you work for another investigator?

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<v Speaker 1>I work for a company. Yeah, but it's private because

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<v Speaker 1>it's not the government and true or like a government agency.

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<v Speaker 2>Well it's funny because I feel like when I think

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<v Speaker 2>of a private investigator, I feel like most of them

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<v Speaker 2>are like they're like older, like they're like when I

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<v Speaker 2>think of a private investigator, I think of someone who's

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<v Speaker 2>like fifty or something.

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<v Speaker 1>I am very rare. I'm very rare. Most people are

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<v Speaker 1>retired police.

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<v Speaker 2>Yes, how does want to become a private investigator?

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<v Speaker 1>I went to school for criminal justice and I got

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<v Speaker 1>super lucky, and I just asked around to see if

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<v Speaker 1>somebody knew somebody, and I ended up finding someone who

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<v Speaker 1>was willing to take me under. But usually you'd go

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<v Speaker 1>to school and go get your license on your own.

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<v Speaker 1>So you have to read these huge books and really

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<v Speaker 1>not that big. It's like three hundred pages, you read

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<v Speaker 1>this book and then you go take this test and

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<v Speaker 1>the test is ridiculous. There's one hundred questions and it

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<v Speaker 1>was horrible. But yeah, that's then then you find a job.

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<v Speaker 1>That's kind of it.

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<v Speaker 2>Why do you need a test to become a prive investigated?

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<v Speaker 2>Because don't you? I mean, because it's it's very it's

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<v Speaker 2>very much like because if you're not working for like

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<v Speaker 2>the governments or whatever, and there's no or like the police,

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<v Speaker 2>and there's no like buy the books, you know, you

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<v Speaker 2>know how that people are like, we're gonna do this

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<v Speaker 2>by the books. I feel like there's no book for

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<v Speaker 2>you to go by and just kind of doing it

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<v Speaker 2>on your own. Why do you need it to pass it?

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<v Speaker 1>The book is actually the Idiot's Guide to Private Investigation.

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<v Speaker 1>That's what the test is based off.

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<v Speaker 2>There's an idiot's guide, Like you can just go on

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<v Speaker 2>Amazon buy this book and become a private investigator.

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<v Speaker 1>That's I got it, Yeah, I got it. Okay, But

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<v Speaker 1>there is a lot of laws. Most of the questions

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<v Speaker 1>are about the laws, and the laws are.

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<v Speaker 2>There's a lot, right, because what is the line between

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<v Speaker 2>privately investigating somebody and stalking them?

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<v Speaker 1>That's a really good question. And I think we are stalkers.

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<v Speaker 1>We're just legally allowed to be stalkers.

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<v Speaker 2>Mmm. How long have you been doing this?

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<v Speaker 1>This is I had my apprenticeship for like six months,

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<v Speaker 1>but I never went and did anything. I went and

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<v Speaker 1>did something for the first time last week.

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<v Speaker 2>Also, so last week was your first time out on

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<v Speaker 2>the field.

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<v Speaker 1>Uh huh Yeah. And I was telling the call screener,

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<v Speaker 1>I've got some imposter syndrome and it just doesn't feel

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<v Speaker 1>real yet, like because I've been working towards us for

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<v Speaker 1>so long and now I'm doing it, and it's just

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<v Speaker 1>like it has not hit me yet that I'm a

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<v Speaker 1>private investigator at all.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, yeah, I mean, you've only done one one thing.

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<v Speaker 2>I want to I want to get into the whole

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<v Speaker 2>imposter syndym thing, but I have so many other, so

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<v Speaker 2>many questions about your your gig. All right, So okay,

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<v Speaker 2>so how much are you what are you are you allowed? What?

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<v Speaker 2>What was the case that you went on today?

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<v Speaker 1>It was, oh, I went on one yesterday that was

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<v Speaker 1>a custody case. So we're just trying to get somebody

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<v Speaker 1>doing something that they're not supposed to be doing. The

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<v Speaker 1>first one that I went on was a cheating spouse case,

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<v Speaker 1>and so same thing it has followed her around and

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<v Speaker 1>made sure she wasn't cheating.

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<v Speaker 2>Hmmm. So so okay, let's let's take this cheating spouse

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<v Speaker 2>one for example, and this is this is this cheating

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<v Speaker 2>sauce one? Was this like you were an assistant to

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<v Speaker 2>somebody else or or this was your case?

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<v Speaker 1>It was all me. I went out alone from my

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<v Speaker 1>very first case.

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<v Speaker 2>Awesome. And so I assume you had a lot of

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<v Speaker 2>cases before that where you were like sort of shadowing

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<v Speaker 2>a different PI. No, oh really, I would think on

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<v Speaker 2>that time. Is that not how that works?

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<v Speaker 1>It should be how it works. But I don't know.

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<v Speaker 1>I guess I kind of have this like air about

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<v Speaker 1>me or people think that I know what I'm doing,

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<v Speaker 1>and so they're just like, oh, she's fine.

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<v Speaker 2>Perfect And it was terrifying. All right, So tell me,

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<v Speaker 2>tell me, tell me how this went.

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<v Speaker 4>Tell me.

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<v Speaker 2>I want to hear. Did they like give you a Okay,

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<v Speaker 2>here's their license plate number, here's their address, go to

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<v Speaker 2>their house, follow their car, see what's going on type

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<v Speaker 2>of thing.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, you might as well go get your license. That's

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<v Speaker 1>exactly what I did, just talk to get all the

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<v Speaker 1>information that you can.

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<v Speaker 2>And then go follow Tell me how it went. What

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<v Speaker 2>did you see, what's the what did you feel? What?

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<v Speaker 1>What?

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<v Speaker 2>What was what was that that stakeout? Like?

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<v Speaker 1>Oh man, I mean I was really really nervous because

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<v Speaker 1>I hadn't done and shadowing before that. I was not

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<v Speaker 1>in a good position and that I was going to

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<v Speaker 1>totally blow everything. Like they were just going to be like,

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<v Speaker 1>who's this chick following me? But that didn't happen. I

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<v Speaker 1>followed her, she went shopping, she went and got some food,

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<v Speaker 1>and that was it. She didn't cheat. But yeah, I

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<v Speaker 1>was super super nervous that I was going to blow

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<v Speaker 1>the cover the whole time.

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<v Speaker 2>I would fucking be too if that was my very

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<v Speaker 2>first time doing that. I'm so surprised that they didn't

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<v Speaker 2>have you, like shadow a person beforehand. They just sent

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<v Speaker 2>you on your way. Yeah, but you did it. You

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<v Speaker 2>found out that they're not cheating.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 6>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>That's what's so surprising about the ampopter syndrome is I

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<v Speaker 1>keep getting thrown into these situations and it's totally fine.

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<v Speaker 1>But for some reason, I'm like, it's not totally fine.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't know, well so, but this doesn't make sense

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<v Speaker 2>to me. Because so they hire you to follow this.

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<v Speaker 2>This guy hired you to follow his wife around for

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<v Speaker 2>a day, But how does he know that she's just

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<v Speaker 2>not cheating that day.

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<v Speaker 1>Well, we usually do it multiple times because of that

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<v Speaker 1>exact reason.

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<v Speaker 2>How much long are going to follow?

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<v Speaker 1>You know, the circumstances have to be perfect. I don't know.

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<v Speaker 1>It usually depends on the client. You know, they might

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<v Speaker 1>get that feeling where you know, I'm just I need

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<v Speaker 1>to chill out. Maybe she's not cheating, or they might

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<v Speaker 1>be like, no, I know this is a fact, and

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<v Speaker 1>I need to get this for my divorce, So keep

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<v Speaker 1>going because people, you know, they could they could be

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<v Speaker 1>cheating every other day. They could be cheating once a month.

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<v Speaker 4>Like.

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<v Speaker 1>That's what makes the private investigation stuff really hard too,

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<v Speaker 1>is that there's no guaranteed results. We could follow your

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<v Speaker 1>wife around getting lunch for two months, but she could

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<v Speaker 1>still be cheating. Like, it's difficult, dude.

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<v Speaker 2>It's so crazy that this is like a legal thing

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<v Speaker 2>you can hire somebody to do. You can just hire

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<v Speaker 2>somebody to stalk your wife and it's totally legal. It's crazy. Now,

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<v Speaker 2>I totally understand why you have all these feelings about this. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>you have to hire. You can as long as they've

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<v Speaker 2>bought a book from Amazon, Reddit, cover to cover, you

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<v Speaker 2>can hire them to stalk whoever you want. That's crazy

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<v Speaker 2>to me. Now I understand why you have all these feelings.

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<v Speaker 2>This is a wild thing that you're doing. I would

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<v Speaker 2>feel all the same feelings.

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<v Speaker 1>It's crazy, it is. I'm just wondering when it's gonna

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<v Speaker 1>set in. Like I've already gone on the two cases.

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<v Speaker 1>I've been doing the apprenticeship for a while. I got

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<v Speaker 1>my life, and but I took that stupid test, Like

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<v Speaker 1>when am I going to feel like a prime investigator?

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<v Speaker 2>Can I ask? What tell me more about this test?

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<v Speaker 2>What kinds of questions were on here?

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<v Speaker 1>Oh? Man, that test was horrendous. There was so like

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<v Speaker 1>when you do certain things wrong, you can either get

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<v Speaker 1>fined or you can get your license taken away. And

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<v Speaker 1>like some of the questions would be like if if

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<v Speaker 1>you did X thing, would you get fined one thousand,

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<v Speaker 1>five hundred dollars, two thousand dollars, three thousand dollars or

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<v Speaker 1>three thousand.

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<v Speaker 5>Five hundred dollars.

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<v Speaker 1>Like they wanted you to know to the t what

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<v Speaker 1>was going to happen to you when you fucked up

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<v Speaker 1>in each and every single situation, and then like, so,

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<v Speaker 1>how much.

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<v Speaker 2>Do you get fined if your adhesive mustache falls off

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<v Speaker 2>your face?

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<v Speaker 6>It's going to be two grand?

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<v Speaker 2>Unfortunately they have Okay, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm like,

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<v Speaker 2>I know you are, like have like legitimate feelings behind

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<v Speaker 2>this that you called in to talk about, but I

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<v Speaker 2>have so many questions just about this thing because it's

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<v Speaker 2>fascinating to me. You like, so, okay, so it's legal. Okay,

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<v Speaker 2>So it is legal to hire somebody to stalk your

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<v Speaker 2>wife to see if she's cheating, But there are certain

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<v Speaker 2>things about it that are illegal, and if you do

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<v Speaker 2>those things wrong, the government can find you.

0:11:54.360 --> 0:11:57.480
<v Speaker 1>Yes, can you can you give.

0:11:57.280 --> 0:12:00.160
<v Speaker 2>Me an example of like give it? Give it. That's

0:12:00.160 --> 0:12:02.360
<v Speaker 2>an example of like a couple things that could go

0:12:02.440 --> 0:12:03.720
<v Speaker 2>wrong that you might get fined for.

0:12:06.240 --> 0:12:08.840
<v Speaker 1>Well, I mean the easy one is confidentiality. You know,

0:12:08.960 --> 0:12:11.760
<v Speaker 1>like if I walked around telling the names and address

0:12:11.800 --> 0:12:15.000
<v Speaker 1>and the you know whatever of the people that I'm watching,

0:12:15.120 --> 0:12:20.199
<v Speaker 1>that that might be a revoke actually, And then there's

0:12:20.280 --> 0:12:22.959
<v Speaker 1>like so so much gray area, like when it comes

0:12:23.000 --> 0:12:25.240
<v Speaker 1>to GPS's you know, you'd think that a GPS would

0:12:25.280 --> 0:12:29.480
<v Speaker 1>make this whole thing so easy. We're actually only allowed

0:12:29.480 --> 0:12:32.600
<v Speaker 1>to use GPS's if both names are on the car.

0:12:32.920 --> 0:12:36.360
<v Speaker 1>That's the only circumstance. So if you put a GPS

0:12:36.400 --> 0:12:39.480
<v Speaker 1>on somebody not both names on the car, they'll find again,

0:12:40.200 --> 0:12:42.160
<v Speaker 1>Like there's so much random stuff.

0:12:42.600 --> 0:12:44.800
<v Speaker 2>Oh so if a husband and a wife both own

0:12:44.880 --> 0:12:46.800
<v Speaker 2>a car together, you're allowed to track it.

0:12:48.720 --> 0:12:51.680
<v Speaker 1>M h yeah, but it have to be the client

0:12:51.679 --> 0:12:53.960
<v Speaker 1>whoever's asking for the tracking has to be on the car.

0:12:54.559 --> 0:12:58.400
<v Speaker 2>The confidentiality thing is super funny because you're not allowed

0:12:58.440 --> 0:13:02.800
<v Speaker 2>to disclose. So if a client comes to you and

0:13:02.800 --> 0:13:04.640
<v Speaker 2>says you their name and all, you're not allowed to

0:13:04.640 --> 0:13:09.880
<v Speaker 2>tell anyone. But your whole job is to find confidential

0:13:09.920 --> 0:13:13.520
<v Speaker 2>information about other people and tell it to your client.

0:13:16.160 --> 0:13:18.600
<v Speaker 1>You know, I hadn't thought about it that way. That's

0:13:18.679 --> 0:13:23.800
<v Speaker 1>pretty hypocritical. Yeah, yeah, we're we're allowed to dig into

0:13:23.840 --> 0:13:27.360
<v Speaker 1>other people's business, but we can't. We can't be the

0:13:27.440 --> 0:13:28.800
<v Speaker 1>information or I guess.

0:13:28.559 --> 0:13:29.760
<v Speaker 7>We are information for us.

0:13:29.760 --> 0:13:31.640
<v Speaker 1>I don't know what we're doing.

0:13:32.840 --> 0:13:36.599
<v Speaker 2>This is so interesting to me. Okay, so tell me

0:13:36.640 --> 0:13:38.440
<v Speaker 2>about you said you went on two cases, one with

0:13:38.559 --> 0:13:40.679
<v Speaker 2>the guy and his wife, and you followed her all

0:13:40.720 --> 0:13:45.800
<v Speaker 2>around through her day and you didn't find anything. What

0:13:45.800 --> 0:13:46.839
<v Speaker 2>what was the second case?

0:13:49.160 --> 0:13:53.360
<v Speaker 1>It was a custody so trying to catch somebody doing something.

0:13:53.440 --> 0:13:57.160
<v Speaker 1>They would look bad if she had kids with her,

0:13:58.640 --> 0:14:01.480
<v Speaker 1>And same thing, you know, a bunch of nothing, which

0:14:01.520 --> 0:14:04.320
<v Speaker 1>is another crazy thing, like I got paid to sit

0:14:04.400 --> 0:14:08.200
<v Speaker 1>in a parking lot for four hours and wait for her.

0:14:10.760 --> 0:14:13.600
<v Speaker 2>Did you bring like binoculars and shit like that, Like

0:14:13.640 --> 0:14:15.840
<v Speaker 2>it's like a legit stakeout.

0:14:17.040 --> 0:14:19.320
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I have a bag and it has a has

0:14:19.320 --> 0:14:25.480
<v Speaker 1>a a disguise in it. It has a Oh.

0:14:25.400 --> 0:14:27.800
<v Speaker 2>So I was I was right about the stupid mustache thing.

0:14:27.800 --> 0:14:29.160
<v Speaker 2>You have an actual disguise.

0:14:31.640 --> 0:14:35.600
<v Speaker 1>I do personally because I'm kind of an identifiable person,

0:14:36.280 --> 0:14:39.520
<v Speaker 1>Like I don't think I blend into a crowd very easily,

0:14:39.840 --> 0:14:42.480
<v Speaker 1>so I bring things that would make me blend into

0:14:42.520 --> 0:14:43.920
<v Speaker 1>a crowd easier.

0:14:44.920 --> 0:14:46.760
<v Speaker 2>Like what but I don't think.

0:14:48.120 --> 0:14:50.000
<v Speaker 1>I have like a league because I don't have natural

0:14:50.000 --> 0:14:53.280
<v Speaker 1>hair color. So I have a natural hair colored wig,

0:14:53.360 --> 0:14:55.680
<v Speaker 1>and I have like a T shirt, like a just

0:14:55.720 --> 0:14:59.400
<v Speaker 1>a normal ass T shirt, and I usually wear normal

0:14:59.480 --> 0:15:03.680
<v Speaker 1>looking pant it's like jeans and normal sneakers, and then

0:15:03.720 --> 0:15:06.480
<v Speaker 1>I wear a hat because the wig kind of sucks,

0:15:06.880 --> 0:15:09.640
<v Speaker 1>so I got to hide that that's a key part

0:15:09.640 --> 0:15:12.440
<v Speaker 1>of the wig, and I think that helps me blend

0:15:12.480 --> 0:15:15.400
<v Speaker 1>in a little more, just just look a little more normal.

0:15:15.440 --> 0:15:17.120
<v Speaker 1>I have to hide my tattoos as well.

0:15:19.080 --> 0:15:20.040
<v Speaker 2>Do you have a trench coat?

0:15:25.000 --> 0:15:27.680
<v Speaker 1>I actually don't have a trench coat. Maybe I should

0:15:27.720 --> 0:15:29.960
<v Speaker 1>invest in one, I don't. I feel like that would

0:15:30.000 --> 0:15:33.480
<v Speaker 1>make me look If I went out as myself and

0:15:33.560 --> 0:15:35.840
<v Speaker 1>I put on a trench coat, I think everyone would

0:15:35.880 --> 0:15:38.880
<v Speaker 1>immediately know I was a private investigator. It would just.

0:15:38.800 --> 0:15:43.680
<v Speaker 2>Being to me because Okay, you say you have to

0:15:43.680 --> 0:15:45.960
<v Speaker 2>cover what colors your hair? Is it like? Is it

0:15:46.040 --> 0:15:49.800
<v Speaker 2>like a like green or blue or something that makes

0:15:49.800 --> 0:15:51.000
<v Speaker 2>it like stand out?

0:15:52.800 --> 0:15:56.400
<v Speaker 1>Yeah? Right now it's blonde and pink and purple and blue.

0:15:57.000 --> 0:16:00.480
<v Speaker 2>Blonde and pink and purple and blue with tattoos. Why

0:16:00.520 --> 0:16:02.240
<v Speaker 2>would you have to cover up the tattoos with the

0:16:02.280 --> 0:16:08.120
<v Speaker 2>tattoos like make it? I feel like when I think

0:16:08.160 --> 0:16:10.600
<v Speaker 2>of a private investigator, I don't think of someone I don't.

0:16:10.680 --> 0:16:12.640
<v Speaker 2>It doesn't. It doesn't seem like a tattoo wey kind

0:16:12.640 --> 0:16:13.080
<v Speaker 2>of job.

0:16:15.600 --> 0:16:19.560
<v Speaker 1>It's because of the copy feel to it. Yeah, it's

0:16:21.160 --> 0:16:25.880
<v Speaker 1>really like it makes me identifiable. So if the person

0:16:26.080 --> 0:16:28.360
<v Speaker 1>had looked at me and they had happened to look

0:16:28.360 --> 0:16:32.120
<v Speaker 1>at my tattoo and think, oh, if they saw it again,

0:16:33.000 --> 0:16:35.320
<v Speaker 1>then I'd be bumped. Yeah, I mean I might not

0:16:35.360 --> 0:16:37.480
<v Speaker 1>be immediately, but the more they see.

0:16:37.240 --> 0:16:39.920
<v Speaker 2>Me, yeah, right right now, that that makes perfect sense.

0:16:39.960 --> 0:16:41.400
<v Speaker 2>If they see if you have like a sort of

0:16:41.480 --> 0:16:44.280
<v Speaker 2>descript look, and they see you multiple times, they're like, wait,

0:16:44.280 --> 0:16:47.720
<v Speaker 2>why the fuck does this person keep popping up interesting?

0:16:48.680 --> 0:16:50.360
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, and that happens quickly.

0:16:51.800 --> 0:16:54.280
<v Speaker 2>Well, I'll say this. You know, I know that you

0:16:54.280 --> 0:16:58.000
<v Speaker 2>you're having these feelings. Not a single feeling that you've

0:16:58.040 --> 0:17:03.440
<v Speaker 2>brought up, uh, you know on this phone call in

0:17:03.480 --> 0:17:07.359
<v Speaker 2>the context of what it is that you are doing,

0:17:08.200 --> 0:17:12.200
<v Speaker 2>seems remotely abnormal. Like, yeah, you know, if you've never

0:17:12.320 --> 0:17:16.239
<v Speaker 2>ever shadowed a person before, and you're like, have this

0:17:16.359 --> 0:17:19.840
<v Speaker 2>job where you're like a fucking super spy and you've

0:17:19.960 --> 0:17:23.679
<v Speaker 2>never done it before, of course you're gonna feel a

0:17:23.720 --> 0:17:27.200
<v Speaker 2>little bit nervous the first time. If it's your first time,

0:17:28.040 --> 0:17:30.719
<v Speaker 2>of course you're gonna feel I would feel nervous as

0:17:30.760 --> 0:17:33.359
<v Speaker 2>fuck if I were doing what you were doing. So

0:17:33.520 --> 0:17:36.040
<v Speaker 2>I don't think anything that you've described as anything other

0:17:36.119 --> 0:17:40.560
<v Speaker 2>than a very normal part of this process. If you could,

0:17:41.280 --> 0:17:44.240
<v Speaker 2>if you could call any part of this process normal.

0:17:44.280 --> 0:17:47.000
<v Speaker 2>I mean, it's a crazy thing that you're doing. What

0:17:48.040 --> 0:17:49.440
<v Speaker 2>brought you to want to do this?

0:17:51.720 --> 0:17:51.880
<v Speaker 6>Oh?

0:17:51.920 --> 0:17:54.439
<v Speaker 1>I always wanted to be a detective, but I have

0:17:54.680 --> 0:17:59.320
<v Speaker 1>never wanted to work for the government any sort and

0:17:59.400 --> 0:18:02.359
<v Speaker 1>you know, in the car level or federal level, and

0:18:02.400 --> 0:18:04.359
<v Speaker 1>the only other option is private investigation.

0:18:07.280 --> 0:18:10.840
<v Speaker 2>So these the guy with the wife and the guy

0:18:10.880 --> 0:18:14.159
<v Speaker 2>with the kid, are you going to follow up with

0:18:14.200 --> 0:18:16.760
<v Speaker 2>them at all? Like, do you have like a like

0:18:16.800 --> 0:18:20.240
<v Speaker 2>are they going to say yeah, another on another stakeout?

0:18:21.920 --> 0:18:25.399
<v Speaker 1>Yeah? I think so. I haven't talked to the boss

0:18:25.480 --> 0:18:28.439
<v Speaker 1>lady about them yet. Actually, I know that the child's

0:18:28.480 --> 0:18:30.960
<v Speaker 1>case is still going and I think I'm going back

0:18:30.960 --> 0:18:34.359
<v Speaker 1>out to the cheating guy on Thursday, but I know

0:18:34.400 --> 0:18:36.479
<v Speaker 1>I'm going to have somebody with me that time, so

0:18:36.560 --> 0:18:37.680
<v Speaker 1>that's going to be really nice.

0:18:38.640 --> 0:18:43.159
<v Speaker 2>Wow, this is fascinating. This is I mean, it's scary

0:18:43.240 --> 0:18:47.920
<v Speaker 2>what you're doing, because, like, if you get caught spying

0:18:48.000 --> 0:18:52.520
<v Speaker 2>on someone like this is a really awkward. It's just

0:18:52.520 --> 0:18:56.680
<v Speaker 2>a really you know, being looking at someone through binoculars

0:18:56.920 --> 0:19:00.480
<v Speaker 2>and then having them make eye contact the binoculars in

0:19:00.640 --> 0:19:03.160
<v Speaker 2>any even if you have a permit to be watching them,

0:19:03.720 --> 0:19:07.639
<v Speaker 2>still an uncomfortable situation. So I understand why you have

0:19:07.720 --> 0:19:10.960
<v Speaker 2>all these feelings about it, but I think you're gonna

0:19:10.960 --> 0:19:11.399
<v Speaker 2>be fine.

0:19:11.400 --> 0:19:12.960
<v Speaker 1>I think you did get.

0:19:13.000 --> 0:19:18.000
<v Speaker 2>Exciting career ahead of you. You got caught. What happens, Well.

0:19:18.160 --> 0:19:20.560
<v Speaker 1>I didn't get caught by the suspect. I got caught

0:19:20.560 --> 0:19:22.840
<v Speaker 1>by another person. And she came up to my car

0:19:23.359 --> 0:19:26.520
<v Speaker 1>and she was so mad at me. She's like, why

0:19:26.560 --> 0:19:28.840
<v Speaker 1>are you parked here? And you know we have to

0:19:29.000 --> 0:19:30.399
<v Speaker 1>lie to them, So I was like, oh, I'm just

0:19:30.400 --> 0:19:32.840
<v Speaker 1>waiting for my friend, and she started going off with me.

0:19:32.880 --> 0:19:35.400
<v Speaker 1>She's like, you cann't park at a church, You couldn't

0:19:35.440 --> 0:19:37.920
<v Speaker 1>park at a at the store down the road, you

0:19:37.960 --> 0:19:41.600
<v Speaker 1>couldn't park anywhere else. You had to park in somebody's driveway.

0:19:42.000 --> 0:19:42.199
<v Speaker 5>You know.

0:19:42.240 --> 0:19:44.600
<v Speaker 1>In my head, I'm like, yes, ma'am, I literally have

0:19:44.760 --> 0:19:47.879
<v Speaker 1>to park in your driveway because I can't see this

0:19:48.080 --> 0:19:49.679
<v Speaker 1>house from any other angle.

0:19:50.280 --> 0:19:52.520
<v Speaker 2>Oh you were part okay you left out you were

0:19:52.520 --> 0:19:57.720
<v Speaker 2>parked in her driveway. Yeah, okay, you left that part

0:19:57.760 --> 0:20:00.119
<v Speaker 2>out when you said some lady came up to me.

0:20:00.840 --> 0:20:07.840
<v Speaker 2>I was mad at time, So you're parked in this

0:20:08.040 --> 0:20:10.919
<v Speaker 2>lady's driveway And she was like, hey, can you how

0:20:11.000 --> 0:20:12.320
<v Speaker 2>did you resolve that conflict?

0:20:14.440 --> 0:20:14.560
<v Speaker 6>Oh?

0:20:14.640 --> 0:20:17.680
<v Speaker 1>I just laught because she started taking pictures of me

0:20:18.320 --> 0:20:20.879
<v Speaker 1>and I was like, yeah, okay, well I'm not.

0:20:20.960 --> 0:20:27.960
<v Speaker 2>Wa Well, Alex, I'm very happy to hear that you

0:20:28.119 --> 0:20:31.200
<v Speaker 2>have this cool job. I'm so excited for you many

0:20:31.280 --> 0:20:33.800
<v Speaker 2>more in your whole Your life is like a fucking

0:20:33.840 --> 0:20:36.919
<v Speaker 2>TV show. Now that's exciting. I know that you are

0:20:36.960 --> 0:20:41.240
<v Speaker 2>feeling some imposter syndrome, but I couldn't feasibly imagine you

0:20:41.400 --> 0:20:44.639
<v Speaker 2>feeling anything else with this kind of job on your

0:20:44.680 --> 0:20:46.840
<v Speaker 2>first day, So I don't think it's abnormal. And I

0:20:46.960 --> 0:20:48.960
<v Speaker 2>think a few years from now, when you have hundreds

0:20:49.000 --> 0:20:53.080
<v Speaker 2>of cases under your belt, you know, I think you'll

0:20:53.119 --> 0:20:57.800
<v Speaker 2>be You'll be a hardened veteran. You have now inspired

0:20:57.840 --> 0:21:02.359
<v Speaker 2>within me and possibly any other people listening loads of

0:21:02.480 --> 0:21:07.399
<v Speaker 2>paranoia that any parked car that they see in their

0:21:07.440 --> 0:21:12.400
<v Speaker 2>peripheral vision is a private investigator that is spying on them.

0:21:12.760 --> 0:21:15.160
<v Speaker 2>Oh boy, so thank you for that gift.

0:21:15.720 --> 0:21:18.720
<v Speaker 1>I would say that the chances are probably somebody doing

0:21:18.840 --> 0:21:21.760
<v Speaker 1>something illegal more than it being one of us, but

0:21:23.160 --> 0:21:25.400
<v Speaker 1>but not, you know, not to inspire the paranoia.

0:21:25.560 --> 0:21:27.680
<v Speaker 2>But is there anything you want to say to the

0:21:27.720 --> 0:21:33.040
<v Speaker 2>people of the computer before we go, Alex, Well, it's.

0:21:32.960 --> 0:21:35.200
<v Speaker 1>Kind of lame, but do what you want to do.

0:21:35.600 --> 0:21:37.359
<v Speaker 1>You know, if you want to be a private investigator,

0:21:37.400 --> 0:21:40.000
<v Speaker 1>go do it because it's totally possible. If you want

0:21:40.040 --> 0:21:43.200
<v Speaker 1>to be a musician, go do it all possible to

0:21:43.320 --> 0:21:43.520
<v Speaker 1>do it.

0:21:43.680 --> 0:21:45.520
<v Speaker 2>You know. I don't think that's lame at all coming

0:21:45.560 --> 0:21:48.840
<v Speaker 2>from you. I think that you're you're definitely living proof

0:21:48.960 --> 0:21:51.680
<v Speaker 2>that you can if you if you can dream it,

0:21:51.760 --> 0:21:52.240
<v Speaker 2>you can do it.

0:21:54.200 --> 0:21:56.600
<v Speaker 1>That's right. Thank you, Geko, of.

0:21:56.640 --> 0:22:07.320
<v Speaker 2>Course, thank you for calling Alex h oh Man. She

0:22:07.520 --> 0:22:09.560
<v Speaker 2>was a trip. Shout out to her. I met, I

0:22:09.640 --> 0:22:11.080
<v Speaker 2>met what I said at the end, she really is

0:22:11.200 --> 0:22:14.960
<v Speaker 2>like like for what she described to me, I totally thought,

0:22:15.359 --> 0:22:18.480
<v Speaker 2>like I didn't know that you that you could actually

0:22:18.560 --> 0:22:20.280
<v Speaker 2>be a detective. I thought that was a fake job.

0:22:22.280 --> 0:22:25.560
<v Speaker 2>I didn't know that there are people who actually do that.

0:22:25.640 --> 0:22:29.680
<v Speaker 2>That you can legally pay a person to just stalk

0:22:30.520 --> 0:22:37.200
<v Speaker 2>whoever you want, That people can get stalking permits. Isn't

0:22:37.240 --> 0:22:40.800
<v Speaker 2>that crazy? You can just if you want to fuck

0:22:40.840 --> 0:22:43.479
<v Speaker 2>with your friend, you could just hire someone to stalk them,

0:22:43.520 --> 0:22:48.440
<v Speaker 2>and it's totally legal, and Alex gets to do it.

0:22:48.480 --> 0:22:56.639
<v Speaker 2>Shout out to Alex, truly a a truly proof that

0:22:56.800 --> 0:22:59.840
<v Speaker 2>if you can dream it, you can do it. And

0:23:00.280 --> 0:23:02.880
<v Speaker 2>she was saying she had some imposter syndrome the whole time.

0:23:02.960 --> 0:23:09.040
<v Speaker 2>But I and I was kind of just so engrossed

0:23:09.119 --> 0:23:12.400
<v Speaker 2>and the logistics of what it is that she does

0:23:12.440 --> 0:23:13.719
<v Speaker 2>that I didn't talk to her about it too much.

0:23:13.760 --> 0:23:16.840
<v Speaker 2>But also it's because like, yeah, of course she's gonna

0:23:17.200 --> 0:23:20.120
<v Speaker 2>be nervous going on these things for the very first time.

0:23:20.160 --> 0:23:23.679
<v Speaker 2>I mean, it's crazy. I'm stoked for her. I think

0:23:23.720 --> 0:23:25.600
<v Speaker 2>she's got a very cool career ahead of her. So

0:23:26.240 --> 0:23:28.119
<v Speaker 2>thank you for calling in to tell us about it, Alex,

0:23:29.800 --> 0:23:34.520
<v Speaker 2>I said that, I said that weirdly, Alex. All right,

0:23:35.160 --> 0:23:37.120
<v Speaker 2>all right, let's move on. Let's do another call.

0:23:39.440 --> 0:23:44.280
<v Speaker 5>Hello, Hello, how's you going?

0:23:45.280 --> 0:23:50.199
<v Speaker 2>Is this Joseph? Yes, it is? What's up?

0:23:50.280 --> 0:23:50.440
<v Speaker 8>Man?

0:23:53.200 --> 0:23:53.320
<v Speaker 5>Oh?

0:23:53.400 --> 0:23:53.760
<v Speaker 4>Not much?

0:23:53.840 --> 0:23:54.520
<v Speaker 5>This is the Gecko.

0:23:55.560 --> 0:23:56.320
<v Speaker 2>This is the Gecko.

0:23:58.560 --> 0:24:01.560
<v Speaker 6>Okay, well, I got going on everything.

0:24:03.240 --> 0:24:08.480
<v Speaker 5>Nice. Just wanted to start off by saying, I enjoy

0:24:08.600 --> 0:24:12.000
<v Speaker 5>watching all your clips and your streams, and I love

0:24:12.080 --> 0:24:13.080
<v Speaker 5>the advice that you give out.

0:24:14.280 --> 0:24:15.639
<v Speaker 2>Thank you, man, I appreciate you.

0:24:19.960 --> 0:24:24.720
<v Speaker 5>So I'm calling in today because I wanted your advice.

0:24:26.880 --> 0:24:29.320
<v Speaker 5>I grew up in a house full of girls and

0:24:30.840 --> 0:24:35.560
<v Speaker 5>one day they had the like put on address and

0:24:35.640 --> 0:24:37.080
<v Speaker 5>you know, some makeup as a joke.

0:24:38.400 --> 0:24:40.399
<v Speaker 1>And I realized that in.

0:24:40.400 --> 0:24:43.320
<v Speaker 5>That moment that I actually kind of liked being like that,

0:24:43.880 --> 0:24:47.920
<v Speaker 5>and I kind of always played along, and in my

0:24:48.040 --> 0:24:51.879
<v Speaker 5>own time, I would dress up and you know, so

0:24:52.040 --> 0:24:57.520
<v Speaker 5>much sister's clothing. But now and today, with me and

0:24:57.600 --> 0:25:02.040
<v Speaker 5>my wife having an apartment and stuff, it's been harder,

0:25:02.119 --> 0:25:08.720
<v Speaker 5>but I still carried it on. And I actually have

0:25:08.840 --> 0:25:14.200
<v Speaker 5>a group that I go to on the weekends, and

0:25:16.400 --> 0:25:18.720
<v Speaker 5>she's been I feel like she's been catching on lately

0:25:19.800 --> 0:25:25.960
<v Speaker 5>because it was an incident last week where she's on

0:25:26.119 --> 0:25:29.600
<v Speaker 5>me wearing a pair of underwear and you know, it

0:25:29.720 --> 0:25:31.720
<v Speaker 5>was kind of like I just bent over and she

0:25:31.920 --> 0:25:37.520
<v Speaker 5>noticed and I told her like it was a joke.

0:25:37.960 --> 0:25:41.440
<v Speaker 5>But she's been like acting strange, and I think she's

0:25:41.520 --> 0:25:42.240
<v Speaker 5>catching on to me.

0:25:44.840 --> 0:25:49.880
<v Speaker 2>M hmm. Interesting. So I want to get a little

0:25:49.880 --> 0:25:52.480
<v Speaker 2>bit of backstory on this. So you says you're twenty

0:25:52.480 --> 0:25:57.960
<v Speaker 2>eight years old. Yeah, so you've you've been and you

0:25:58.480 --> 0:26:00.720
<v Speaker 2>said that this when you were growing up, So I

0:26:00.840 --> 0:26:04.440
<v Speaker 2>mean this, this was like, like how old were you

0:26:04.520 --> 0:26:07.639
<v Speaker 2>when you were first started, uh, wearing women's clothing.

0:26:09.560 --> 0:26:16.840
<v Speaker 5>I was like, I want to say like ten. Yeah,

0:26:17.320 --> 0:26:19.720
<v Speaker 5>like more and more so ever since I got with

0:26:19.800 --> 0:26:20.280
<v Speaker 5>this group.

0:26:20.920 --> 0:26:21.320
<v Speaker 8>Mmmm.

0:26:24.440 --> 0:26:26.960
<v Speaker 5>It's the name of the group is Big Buff and

0:26:27.000 --> 0:26:30.399
<v Speaker 5>Bitchen and we get together on the weekends and you know,

0:26:32.119 --> 0:26:33.920
<v Speaker 5>you know it's guys that you would never expect, but

0:26:34.000 --> 0:26:36.360
<v Speaker 5>you know it kind of makes me feel like more

0:26:36.480 --> 0:26:40.160
<v Speaker 5>safe because and more normal because you know, these guys

0:26:40.320 --> 0:26:43.399
<v Speaker 5>do it almost some somewhat just the same line, like

0:26:43.480 --> 0:26:45.680
<v Speaker 5>they kind of hight because you know, I guess it's

0:26:45.720 --> 0:26:48.480
<v Speaker 5>not really accepted out today's society.

0:26:49.200 --> 0:26:49.640
<v Speaker 6>Mm hmm.

0:26:50.880 --> 0:26:54.720
<v Speaker 2>How did you find this group of fellow cross dressers?

0:26:58.440 --> 0:27:07.120
<v Speaker 5>Well, I kind of like stumbled upon it, like through

0:27:07.200 --> 0:27:12.680
<v Speaker 5>Google and stuff. But that's like a long story itself.

0:27:13.359 --> 0:27:20.320
<v Speaker 2>Mm hmmm. So as far as you're you know, all

0:27:20.400 --> 0:27:24.359
<v Speaker 2>of this in relation to your wife, how long have

0:27:24.440 --> 0:27:27.600
<v Speaker 2>you guys been married for? How long has been together for?

0:27:29.960 --> 0:27:33.800
<v Speaker 5>Well period like about like seven years, but we've been

0:27:33.840 --> 0:27:36.400
<v Speaker 5>married for like four Okay, so you've been.

0:27:36.359 --> 0:27:38.600
<v Speaker 2>Together for seven and this is and this is not

0:27:38.840 --> 0:27:41.159
<v Speaker 2>like a news you this the cross dressing has been

0:27:41.200 --> 0:27:43.119
<v Speaker 2>a part of your life for like a really long

0:27:43.200 --> 0:27:45.400
<v Speaker 2>time from what you've told me, right.

0:27:47.240 --> 0:27:50.720
<v Speaker 5>Yeah, Like I've been experimenting more and more over the years,

0:27:50.800 --> 0:27:52.480
<v Speaker 5>but yes.

0:27:53.280 --> 0:27:57.240
<v Speaker 2>Okay, and throughout all those seven years, it never it

0:27:57.359 --> 0:27:58.240
<v Speaker 2>never came up to her.

0:28:00.840 --> 0:28:05.680
<v Speaker 5>No, because you know, it's not something I'm particularly you know,

0:28:05.800 --> 0:28:09.080
<v Speaker 5>like telling everybody exactly, you know, like it's more on

0:28:09.200 --> 0:28:11.360
<v Speaker 5>the tewn though mhm.

0:28:11.760 --> 0:28:14.480
<v Speaker 2>Can can you tell me? Why are you afraid of

0:28:14.600 --> 0:28:16.040
<v Speaker 2>your wife knowing about it?

0:28:19.840 --> 0:28:21.640
<v Speaker 5>I don't want her to think, you know, like maybe

0:28:21.680 --> 0:28:25.280
<v Speaker 5>I'm not attracted to her, or like I'm gay, or

0:28:25.400 --> 0:28:33.760
<v Speaker 5>she might leave me, you know, like it's complicated for me. Yeah, yeah,

0:28:33.960 --> 0:28:37.440
<v Speaker 5>like I do love her and everything, and then you know,

0:28:37.600 --> 0:28:40.760
<v Speaker 5>like at the same time, I do enjoy like other

0:28:40.800 --> 0:28:42.840
<v Speaker 5>stuff that I feel like I could never tell her,

0:28:42.960 --> 0:28:46.320
<v Speaker 5>Like every time I dress up, I pit a buck

0:28:46.320 --> 0:28:49.960
<v Speaker 5>plug in and like that feels good for me.

0:28:53.400 --> 0:28:55.600
<v Speaker 2>Yeah yeah, so I you know, man, I understand this

0:28:55.760 --> 0:29:02.360
<v Speaker 2>from from both of those sides. So let me ask you,

0:29:02.760 --> 0:29:08.480
<v Speaker 2>because you know, wanting to wear women's clothing doesn't inherently

0:29:09.520 --> 0:29:14.320
<v Speaker 2>say anything about your sexuality, but I assume that you

0:29:14.480 --> 0:29:20.960
<v Speaker 2>assume that your wife will think that it means that

0:29:21.040 --> 0:29:23.560
<v Speaker 2>will get the wrong idea and think, oh, he's gay.

0:29:24.240 --> 0:29:26.600
<v Speaker 2>Why would I, you know, be with with a man

0:29:26.640 --> 0:29:28.720
<v Speaker 2>who's gay. You know, I tried to me of course.

0:29:30.480 --> 0:29:32.760
<v Speaker 5>Yeah. And she's pregnant on top of that, so it's

0:29:33.160 --> 0:29:35.920
<v Speaker 5>you know, she's she's been crazy with her emotions lately.

0:29:36.520 --> 0:29:44.520
<v Speaker 2>Mm hmmm. You know my opinion is I mean, look,

0:29:44.560 --> 0:29:48.400
<v Speaker 2>I don't if, if, if you so, tell so tell

0:29:48.440 --> 0:29:53.720
<v Speaker 2>me this. So you are attracted to your wife. You

0:29:54.200 --> 0:29:56.560
<v Speaker 2>are in love with your wife. There's no sort of like,

0:29:57.160 --> 0:29:59.240
<v Speaker 2>oh I might not like girls kind of thing. You

0:29:59.480 --> 0:30:02.000
<v Speaker 2>you you are attracted to your wife, and this cross

0:30:02.080 --> 0:30:05.520
<v Speaker 2>dressing thing doesn't have any effect on your sexuality.

0:30:07.120 --> 0:30:08.480
<v Speaker 5>I just don't want her to feel like, you know,

0:30:08.600 --> 0:30:11.360
<v Speaker 5>like I'm prettier than her sometimes, or like, you know,

0:30:11.520 --> 0:30:15.120
<v Speaker 5>like like she has, you know, like anything to worry about.

0:30:18.160 --> 0:30:22.800
<v Speaker 2>So, if you're married to this woman, you've been with

0:30:22.920 --> 0:30:28.400
<v Speaker 2>her for seven years, it's important for her. I feel

0:30:28.400 --> 0:30:29.960
<v Speaker 2>like it's important for you guys to have a level

0:30:30.000 --> 0:30:33.600
<v Speaker 2>of communication with each other where you feel like you

0:30:33.800 --> 0:30:37.800
<v Speaker 2>can adequately explain this to her. It might come as

0:30:37.880 --> 0:30:40.480
<v Speaker 2>a bit of a shock, you know, especially if you

0:30:40.480 --> 0:30:42.320
<v Speaker 2>guys have been together for seven years and this has

0:30:42.360 --> 0:30:43.600
<v Speaker 2>sort of been a part of your life for a

0:30:43.680 --> 0:30:45.440
<v Speaker 2>long time, it might come as a shock to her

0:30:45.800 --> 0:30:47.400
<v Speaker 2>that you've never talked about it before. But I think

0:30:47.440 --> 0:30:49.320
<v Speaker 2>if you're married to this woman and you're about to

0:30:49.360 --> 0:30:53.000
<v Speaker 2>have a kid with this woman, you guys should be

0:30:53.120 --> 0:30:56.240
<v Speaker 2>at a level of communication where you know, you should

0:30:56.240 --> 0:30:58.800
<v Speaker 2>be able to be like, hey, I like dressing in

0:30:58.840 --> 0:31:03.240
<v Speaker 2>women's clothing has no effect on you know, my sexuality.

0:31:03.360 --> 0:31:05.360
<v Speaker 2>That has no effect on how I feel about you.

0:31:05.800 --> 0:31:07.400
<v Speaker 2>But it is the thing about me that I've been

0:31:07.480 --> 0:31:09.640
<v Speaker 2>hiding because I feel like you'll think this, and you'll

0:31:09.640 --> 0:31:13.680
<v Speaker 2>think this and that, but I'm telling you this. You know,

0:31:13.760 --> 0:31:15.480
<v Speaker 2>she should be able to understand that you guys should

0:31:15.480 --> 0:31:19.800
<v Speaker 2>be able to have that conversation. I understand the fear

0:31:20.560 --> 0:31:23.600
<v Speaker 2>behind wanting to have that conversation, but if you guys

0:31:23.600 --> 0:31:25.800
<v Speaker 2>are getting married and you're having a kid, I feel

0:31:25.840 --> 0:31:29.280
<v Speaker 2>like your relationship with her should be such that you

0:31:29.360 --> 0:31:34.440
<v Speaker 2>guys should be able to talk this out. I mean,

0:31:34.480 --> 0:31:35.120
<v Speaker 2>what do you think of that?

0:31:35.520 --> 0:31:39.800
<v Speaker 5>I mean, I hear you. But the thing is, like,

0:31:39.880 --> 0:31:42.920
<v Speaker 5>you know, like I know my no no offense, Like

0:31:43.000 --> 0:31:45.280
<v Speaker 5>I know my girlfriend bets you know what I mean? Yes,

0:31:45.520 --> 0:31:46.280
<v Speaker 5>my wife and.

0:31:48.960 --> 0:31:50.280
<v Speaker 7>Uh, like.

0:31:53.000 --> 0:31:55.720
<v Speaker 5>She's I don't want to say she's homophobic, but I

0:31:55.880 --> 0:32:00.560
<v Speaker 5>know she's not like the idea of like people. She

0:32:00.640 --> 0:32:03.240
<v Speaker 5>believes to each his own or anything else like that.

0:32:03.480 --> 0:32:06.640
<v Speaker 5>But I feel like she might think like I'm a weirdo,

0:32:06.880 --> 0:32:08.600
<v Speaker 5>and I don't feel like a weirdo. I feel like,

0:32:08.640 --> 0:32:10.520
<v Speaker 5>you know, like I'm just trying to be myself and

0:32:11.680 --> 0:32:13.720
<v Speaker 5>like just have experiences.

0:32:17.400 --> 0:32:26.840
<v Speaker 2>Yeah mm hmmm. So you you think that your wife

0:32:26.960 --> 0:32:28.400
<v Speaker 2>will judge you heavily for this?

0:32:30.120 --> 0:32:32.360
<v Speaker 5>I think she would. She would run for the hills.

0:32:33.240 --> 0:32:40.400
<v Speaker 9>I mean, if I mean, what girl would it? I

0:32:40.440 --> 0:32:43.479
<v Speaker 9>don't know, Like if she saw me dressed, I wouldn't

0:32:43.480 --> 0:32:44.160
<v Speaker 9>go I would.

0:32:44.040 --> 0:32:47.080
<v Speaker 2>I wouldn't go. Ahead, tell me what you're gonna say.

0:32:48.600 --> 0:32:50.200
<v Speaker 5>No, Like, I feel like if she actually see me

0:32:50.280 --> 0:32:52.320
<v Speaker 5>dressed up and then you know, I come out like,

0:32:52.440 --> 0:32:55.880
<v Speaker 5>you know, like in my tight leather clothes that I

0:32:56.040 --> 0:33:00.920
<v Speaker 5>like to wear, She's gonna just walk.

0:33:00.680 --> 0:33:13.520
<v Speaker 2>Away, you know, I think. And you know, look, man,

0:33:13.520 --> 0:33:16.320
<v Speaker 2>I know you said you know you're you know your

0:33:16.360 --> 0:33:22.160
<v Speaker 2>wife well, And this is this is hard man, because

0:33:22.200 --> 0:33:24.520
<v Speaker 2>I'm sure that your relationship is a lot deeper than

0:33:24.600 --> 0:33:28.880
<v Speaker 2>you could let on in this little phone call. But

0:33:29.360 --> 0:33:31.880
<v Speaker 2>if you're going to be married to this person and

0:33:32.000 --> 0:33:37.800
<v Speaker 2>you're gonna have a kid with this person, like I

0:33:38.440 --> 0:33:42.320
<v Speaker 2>feel like they should be able to accept you for

0:33:42.440 --> 0:33:44.800
<v Speaker 2>who you are. I mean, that's one of the like

0:33:45.760 --> 0:33:47.680
<v Speaker 2>I mean for me personally, everyone has their own little thing,

0:33:47.720 --> 0:33:50.600
<v Speaker 2>but you know that feels like a major tenant of

0:33:50.760 --> 0:33:57.880
<v Speaker 2>marriage is like you you are are accepting of of

0:33:58.160 --> 0:34:01.160
<v Speaker 2>of one another. I feel like and that man, you know,

0:34:01.360 --> 0:34:06.160
<v Speaker 2>I feel like you deserve somebody if you're gonna get

0:34:06.280 --> 0:34:09.240
<v Speaker 2>married and have a child with them, you deserve somebody

0:34:10.360 --> 0:34:16.960
<v Speaker 2>who fucks with you for who you are. I mean,

0:34:16.960 --> 0:34:18.839
<v Speaker 2>if you guys have been together for seven years, I mean,

0:34:18.880 --> 0:34:20.680
<v Speaker 2>I like, I get it, if like you've been dating

0:34:20.760 --> 0:34:23.440
<v Speaker 2>for a month, if you know, she's like, yeah, I

0:34:23.480 --> 0:34:25.880
<v Speaker 2>don't know how comfortable I am with this, I'm out, like,

0:34:26.160 --> 0:34:28.919
<v Speaker 2>you know, sure whatever. But I mean, if you guys

0:34:28.920 --> 0:34:35.080
<v Speaker 2>have been together for seven years, I feel like the

0:34:35.200 --> 0:34:38.000
<v Speaker 2>relationship has evolved to a point where you know, you

0:34:38.040 --> 0:34:41.000
<v Speaker 2>should be able to talk about this again. I don't

0:34:41.000 --> 0:34:44.480
<v Speaker 2>know your relationship, but it does pain me because I

0:34:44.520 --> 0:34:46.800
<v Speaker 2>feel like you deserve you do You deserve a person

0:34:47.680 --> 0:34:54.719
<v Speaker 2>who you know won't think you're weird for this kind

0:34:54.760 --> 0:34:58.000
<v Speaker 2>of stuff. I mean, maybe if she was like, I,

0:34:58.440 --> 0:35:00.200
<v Speaker 2>you know, I don't mind you doing this, but I

0:35:00.239 --> 0:35:03.840
<v Speaker 2>don't want to see it, or something like that. You know,

0:35:03.960 --> 0:35:08.360
<v Speaker 2>maybe that's a workable situation. But I don't know. I

0:35:08.400 --> 0:35:10.000
<v Speaker 2>don't feel like this is something that you should have

0:35:10.080 --> 0:35:13.280
<v Speaker 2>to hide if it's you know, if this is your wife,

0:35:14.080 --> 0:35:16.880
<v Speaker 2>we're talking about what what are you What are your

0:35:16.920 --> 0:35:18.640
<v Speaker 2>thoughts on all this because you know, I'm just I'm

0:35:18.719 --> 0:35:20.399
<v Speaker 2>just I'm just talking ship.

0:35:20.719 --> 0:35:25.520
<v Speaker 5>Well yeah, like it's just it's I guess it's the

0:35:25.960 --> 0:35:29.840
<v Speaker 5>not knowing and the what if. And like I I

0:35:29.960 --> 0:35:32.239
<v Speaker 5>do construction and she knows like a lot of people

0:35:32.320 --> 0:35:37.040
<v Speaker 5>that I work with, and you know, like off a bid,

0:35:37.160 --> 0:35:40.360
<v Speaker 5>like she was to like be mad and post anything

0:35:40.440 --> 0:35:43.400
<v Speaker 5>online and you know, like all the guys would know,

0:35:43.600 --> 0:35:46.239
<v Speaker 5>and like it would just I feel like it would

0:35:46.239 --> 0:35:54.080
<v Speaker 5>spread like wildfire. And I maybe even if she's accepting,

0:35:54.160 --> 0:35:57.000
<v Speaker 5>and you know, I don't know, she tells someone off

0:35:57.040 --> 0:35:59.800
<v Speaker 5>the bid and she goes to advice or someone and

0:36:00.520 --> 0:36:05.640
<v Speaker 5>people people talk mm hmmm. And I just don't feel

0:36:05.680 --> 0:36:08.200
<v Speaker 5>like this secret's ready to come out yet.

0:36:08.760 --> 0:36:13.000
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, dude, Okay, So you know, against everything I just said,

0:36:14.000 --> 0:36:19.000
<v Speaker 2>this is your secret, this is your life. And if

0:36:19.080 --> 0:36:21.480
<v Speaker 2>you feel you know, it's like, if you feel like

0:36:21.800 --> 0:36:25.600
<v Speaker 2>it's the most beneficial for you to keep it a secret,

0:36:27.120 --> 0:36:30.080
<v Speaker 2>then that's, of course your decision to make.

0:36:31.440 --> 0:36:33.680
<v Speaker 5>I feel like a secret.

0:36:34.800 --> 0:36:38.759
<v Speaker 2>I can't. I can't answer that because you only know

0:36:38.960 --> 0:36:40.759
<v Speaker 2>your life and you only know what's best for you.

0:36:41.320 --> 0:36:44.560
<v Speaker 2>I can't tell you what's best for you. I personally

0:36:44.719 --> 0:36:49.640
<v Speaker 2>think you deserve to be with somebody who accepts you

0:36:49.719 --> 0:36:51.919
<v Speaker 2>for who you are, if you're gonna get fucking married

0:36:51.960 --> 0:36:55.000
<v Speaker 2>to them, because marriage I mean, I mean, like, look,

0:36:55.000 --> 0:36:56.760
<v Speaker 2>I don't think marriage is that sacred. You can always

0:36:56.760 --> 0:36:58.399
<v Speaker 2>get a fucking divorce, people do it all the time.

0:36:58.560 --> 0:37:02.160
<v Speaker 2>But if you're gonna get fucking married to someone and

0:37:02.239 --> 0:37:04.279
<v Speaker 2>have a kid with them, I mean, that's that's some

0:37:04.440 --> 0:37:07.799
<v Speaker 2>serious shit. You know. That should be a person who

0:37:07.840 --> 0:37:10.880
<v Speaker 2>would just like fox with you, you know, on a

0:37:11.239 --> 0:37:14.120
<v Speaker 2>on a on a really deep, deep level. And I

0:37:14.120 --> 0:37:15.680
<v Speaker 2>think if you're gonna get married to someone, you deserve

0:37:15.719 --> 0:37:17.279
<v Speaker 2>to get married to somebody who fucks with you on

0:37:17.320 --> 0:37:20.240
<v Speaker 2>that deep of a level. That's just my own opinion

0:37:20.520 --> 0:37:26.000
<v Speaker 2>if you're gonna get married, But again, you're your own person.

0:37:27.400 --> 0:37:33.160
<v Speaker 2>If you're evaluating everything and you're coming to the conclusion,

0:37:33.400 --> 0:37:36.680
<v Speaker 2>my life would just be better if I continue to

0:37:36.760 --> 0:37:40.120
<v Speaker 2>hide this. You know, I don't think you're inherently wrong

0:37:40.239 --> 0:37:42.160
<v Speaker 2>or right. I don't think you're inherently wrong or right

0:37:42.280 --> 0:37:47.760
<v Speaker 2>for making either decision, but I'm just kind of giving

0:37:48.040 --> 0:37:49.840
<v Speaker 2>my thoughts on both sides of that.

0:37:52.160 --> 0:37:54.880
<v Speaker 5>I was thinking about Meybi introducing the buff clug idea

0:37:54.960 --> 0:37:56.960
<v Speaker 5>to her and seeing if she would be down with that.

0:37:58.640 --> 0:38:02.680
<v Speaker 2>You could start slow like that, Yeah.

0:38:04.800 --> 0:38:06.440
<v Speaker 5>I think that would be the best way to do it.

0:38:06.880 --> 0:38:07.879
<v Speaker 5>Let me try next week.

0:38:12.320 --> 0:38:15.319
<v Speaker 2>Well again, what's your name of Joseph, Well, Joseph, good

0:38:15.400 --> 0:38:17.239
<v Speaker 2>luck to you. And and like I said, I really

0:38:17.840 --> 0:38:20.480
<v Speaker 2>it's it's it's hard because I understand both sides of

0:38:20.480 --> 0:38:25.160
<v Speaker 2>where you're coming from, and it's your decision at the

0:38:25.239 --> 0:38:28.840
<v Speaker 2>end of the day. Totally.

0:38:30.960 --> 0:38:31.200
<v Speaker 4>I do.

0:38:31.560 --> 0:38:35.800
<v Speaker 2>I do think you deserve somebody who you feel like

0:38:36.000 --> 0:38:39.239
<v Speaker 2>will love you, uh for exactly who you are. I

0:38:39.280 --> 0:38:42.000
<v Speaker 2>feel like you deserve that. If you're gonna give somebody

0:38:42.200 --> 0:38:44.480
<v Speaker 2>your lineman, that's what you're doing with marriage, given somebody

0:38:44.480 --> 0:38:46.960
<v Speaker 2>your fucking life, you know, it should be somebody who

0:38:47.080 --> 0:38:48.480
<v Speaker 2>you really feel like deserves it.

0:38:50.200 --> 0:38:53.560
<v Speaker 5>So just saying they don't know what hurts.

0:38:54.800 --> 0:39:00.160
<v Speaker 2>Hey, you know what that's not. That's not a horrible well,

0:39:00.480 --> 0:39:04.120
<v Speaker 2>that's not a horrible philosophy to live by either. If

0:39:04.160 --> 0:39:08.400
<v Speaker 2>that's what you choose. So thank you, good luck to you. Joseph.

0:39:10.160 --> 0:39:11.040
<v Speaker 5>Well, I got a lot of.

0:39:11.120 --> 0:39:13.359
<v Speaker 2>This, of course. Man, take care.

0:39:14.800 --> 0:39:15.279
<v Speaker 5>You're a man.

0:39:15.360 --> 0:39:26.400
<v Speaker 2>By ah, that was a tough one. That was a

0:39:26.480 --> 0:39:36.759
<v Speaker 2>tough one. Let's see, it is very high.

0:39:36.800 --> 0:39:37.000
<v Speaker 3>You know.

0:39:37.239 --> 0:39:39.400
<v Speaker 2>It's it's hard, right because I get on here and

0:39:39.480 --> 0:39:41.239
<v Speaker 2>people call me and they tell me these things, and

0:39:41.320 --> 0:39:46.279
<v Speaker 2>you know, I have my thoughts of what I think, Oh,

0:39:46.400 --> 0:39:48.399
<v Speaker 2>you should have, you should have if you're getting married

0:39:48.440 --> 0:39:50.520
<v Speaker 2>to someone, you know, it should be someone who accepts

0:39:50.560 --> 0:39:53.759
<v Speaker 2>you for who you are. You know, it's easy for

0:39:53.880 --> 0:39:57.719
<v Speaker 2>me to sit here and say that I do believe it,

0:39:57.760 --> 0:40:00.359
<v Speaker 2>I really do. I really do believe that that if

0:40:00.360 --> 0:40:02.160
<v Speaker 2>you're going to give somebody your fucking life, you're gonna

0:40:02.280 --> 0:40:05.400
<v Speaker 2>marry someone. I mean, Jesus Christ, you know, it should

0:40:05.400 --> 0:40:08.080
<v Speaker 2>be somebody who accepts you, whoever you are. But that's it,

0:40:08.760 --> 0:40:10.160
<v Speaker 2>you know, easy thing for me to say over the

0:40:10.239 --> 0:40:12.080
<v Speaker 2>course of this fifteen minute phone call, because I'm not

0:40:13.080 --> 0:40:17.680
<v Speaker 2>living in the fear, the visceral emotions of it that

0:40:17.800 --> 0:40:21.960
<v Speaker 2>this guy is living in and he in you know,

0:40:22.400 --> 0:40:25.120
<v Speaker 2>overcoming and you know, very it very well could be

0:40:25.239 --> 0:40:30.719
<v Speaker 2>that overcoming that fear is too much for him, and

0:40:31.080 --> 0:40:33.640
<v Speaker 2>he looks at his life and from a logical point

0:40:33.680 --> 0:40:36.960
<v Speaker 2>of view, says, it just would make more sense to

0:40:37.080 --> 0:40:43.320
<v Speaker 2>keep this as a secret. It would just make me

0:40:43.560 --> 0:40:46.640
<v Speaker 2>happier if I can have this little thing, if I

0:40:46.680 --> 0:40:51.640
<v Speaker 2>can go to my little group, I can have fun there,

0:40:51.680 --> 0:40:53.680
<v Speaker 2>I can do my cross dressing, and then I can

0:40:53.760 --> 0:40:56.120
<v Speaker 2>have my other life with my wife, who has no idea.

0:40:56.680 --> 0:40:59.160
<v Speaker 2>I my other life with these construction worker friends, they

0:40:59.200 --> 0:41:01.719
<v Speaker 2>have no idea, And that just makes me happen. I

0:41:01.840 --> 0:41:03.480
<v Speaker 2>just want to keep it like that. And you know what,

0:41:03.719 --> 0:41:06.839
<v Speaker 2>I truly, truly, truly I would I wouldn't fault him

0:41:06.840 --> 0:41:08.920
<v Speaker 2>for doing that at alone. I wouldn't fault him for

0:41:08.920 --> 0:41:12.800
<v Speaker 2>doing that alone. So you know, I just hope he

0:41:12.880 --> 0:41:21.600
<v Speaker 2>makes whatever decision is the best for him. Okay, and scene,

0:41:23.400 --> 0:41:24.560
<v Speaker 2>let's take another call movie.

0:41:26.400 --> 0:41:26.640
<v Speaker 1>Hello.

0:41:27.560 --> 0:41:28.440
<v Speaker 2>Hi is this Lydia.

0:41:30.320 --> 0:41:31.040
<v Speaker 6>This is Lydia.

0:41:32.200 --> 0:41:33.280
<v Speaker 2>What's going on with you, Lydia?

0:41:35.680 --> 0:41:35.839
<v Speaker 8>Oh?

0:41:35.920 --> 0:41:38.680
<v Speaker 3>You know, I've just been enjoying your podcast here.

0:41:39.120 --> 0:41:39.919
<v Speaker 6>It's been good.

0:41:41.040 --> 0:41:42.520
<v Speaker 2>Oh, thank you man. I appreciate that.

0:41:42.719 --> 0:41:45.000
<v Speaker 3>I'm really happy I'm talking to you. I'm kind of

0:41:45.080 --> 0:41:46.360
<v Speaker 3>shocked a little bit. I'm gonna be.

0:41:46.400 --> 0:41:49.120
<v Speaker 2>Honest, I'm stuked to be talking to you too. I

0:41:49.280 --> 0:41:55.040
<v Speaker 2>I'm really enjoying the stream tonight. I'm enjoying talking to people.

0:41:55.160 --> 0:42:00.800
<v Speaker 2>Some nights feel very slow. Some nights, you know, my

0:42:01.000 --> 0:42:03.200
<v Speaker 2>energy is off, but I feel very good. It really

0:42:03.239 --> 0:42:06.840
<v Speaker 2>good tonight. So I'm grateful for that. Any moment I

0:42:06.880 --> 0:42:10.480
<v Speaker 2>get to have where I'm I'm feeling attentive and and

0:42:10.960 --> 0:42:14.000
<v Speaker 2>happy in the moment. So that was a little corny.

0:42:15.400 --> 0:42:18.759
<v Speaker 2>Live in the present, can't take it back. Now it's

0:42:18.840 --> 0:42:21.319
<v Speaker 2>been said, how can I get you, Lydia?

0:42:23.880 --> 0:42:26.080
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, so you know, I just kind of wanted to

0:42:26.160 --> 0:42:30.440
<v Speaker 3>get a little bit of your perspective. I haven't you know,

0:42:30.640 --> 0:42:33.600
<v Speaker 3>talked to anyone for about four years, and and I

0:42:33.719 --> 0:42:36.160
<v Speaker 3>never went on a dating app. So first time I

0:42:36.239 --> 0:42:39.839
<v Speaker 3>went on Tender, I met someone pretty interesting and it's

0:42:39.880 --> 0:42:45.200
<v Speaker 3>the only person I ever met on there. So yeah,

0:42:45.280 --> 0:42:49.640
<v Speaker 3>this person, you know, very smart, taught me gardening stuff,

0:42:49.800 --> 0:42:52.600
<v Speaker 3>like very smart. But as I got to know him

0:42:52.640 --> 0:42:55.560
<v Speaker 3>a little bit more, I discovered he likes some very

0:42:55.640 --> 0:42:59.120
<v Speaker 3>interesting things and then he has some suspicious behaviors. So

0:42:59.760 --> 0:43:03.000
<v Speaker 3>I I'll start with like the smaller stuff, like he

0:43:03.160 --> 0:43:06.080
<v Speaker 3>only likes we're both thirty years old. I feel like

0:43:06.200 --> 0:43:09.920
<v Speaker 3>snapchats for like high schoolers. He will only communicate through that.

0:43:11.239 --> 0:43:13.920
<v Speaker 3>I got his number like months later after I knew him,

0:43:14.000 --> 0:43:15.680
<v Speaker 3>because I thought it was kind of weird, You're like,

0:43:15.719 --> 0:43:18.520
<v Speaker 3>how do I not know this guy's number? So he

0:43:18.640 --> 0:43:20.640
<v Speaker 3>gave it to me, and then one time I sent

0:43:20.760 --> 0:43:22.759
<v Speaker 3>him a message and he like freaked out, like, no,

0:43:23.000 --> 0:43:24.640
<v Speaker 3>only message me on Snapchat.

0:43:24.800 --> 0:43:25.400
<v Speaker 5>I was like, Okay.

0:43:26.440 --> 0:43:31.000
<v Speaker 3>Then he pays everything in cash and then so like

0:43:31.120 --> 0:43:34.120
<v Speaker 3>for everything, like we'll go on a little manification all cash.

0:43:34.600 --> 0:43:37.439
<v Speaker 3>If like gets an uber to my house or something

0:43:37.560 --> 0:43:40.359
<v Speaker 3>like he won't use the app like he I'll order

0:43:40.440 --> 0:43:42.080
<v Speaker 3>it and then he'll get here and paint me cash.

0:43:43.800 --> 0:43:45.920
<v Speaker 3>So like, or he'll say, like, you know, Lidia, if

0:43:45.960 --> 0:43:48.520
<v Speaker 3>anyone bothers you, like, I'll take care of I don't

0:43:48.560 --> 0:43:50.640
<v Speaker 3>even know what that means. So I don't really know

0:43:50.680 --> 0:43:51.359
<v Speaker 3>a lot about him.

0:43:51.400 --> 0:43:55.480
<v Speaker 6>He's very nice to me though, So it's just been

0:43:55.640 --> 0:43:56.360
<v Speaker 6>very interesting.

0:43:56.800 --> 0:44:00.879
<v Speaker 3>And you know, as I started doing other stuff with him,

0:44:01.080 --> 0:44:07.200
<v Speaker 3>like I discovered he likes wearing girls underwear and other things,

0:44:07.400 --> 0:44:11.440
<v Speaker 3>and I think, what kind of you know, like made

0:44:11.480 --> 0:44:14.880
<v Speaker 3>me feel like not so positive about the situation was

0:44:15.520 --> 0:44:18.000
<v Speaker 3>just the way it was presented to me. I always

0:44:18.080 --> 0:44:19.839
<v Speaker 3>go you know, like, it's not what you say, it's

0:44:19.880 --> 0:44:22.520
<v Speaker 3>how you say it. Like how was presented to me

0:44:22.719 --> 0:44:26.600
<v Speaker 3>was very shocking. I've never seen anything like that or

0:44:26.680 --> 0:44:29.399
<v Speaker 3>done anything like that, or even met a guy who

0:44:29.520 --> 0:44:32.480
<v Speaker 3>really like, like I have friends, but like I never

0:44:32.640 --> 0:44:34.160
<v Speaker 3>experienced that with a guy, you know.

0:44:36.239 --> 0:44:39.120
<v Speaker 2>So when you say, oh, I'm just to clarify when

0:44:39.120 --> 0:44:41.160
<v Speaker 2>you say when you say it or do you mean

0:44:41.360 --> 0:44:43.640
<v Speaker 2>do you mean everything you've been talking about this far

0:44:43.840 --> 0:44:45.040
<v Speaker 2>just the women's underwear.

0:44:44.800 --> 0:44:49.200
<v Speaker 3>Thing, well A saying I'm like the I don't know

0:44:49.360 --> 0:44:51.120
<v Speaker 3>how much I can say here, you know, like a

0:44:51.239 --> 0:44:57.920
<v Speaker 3>pike from the woman underwear. You can say whatever you want, Okay,

0:44:58.120 --> 0:45:00.359
<v Speaker 3>So okay, So it started small, so for I still

0:45:00.400 --> 0:45:03.120
<v Speaker 3>call me like can you stick your finger in my behind?

0:45:03.200 --> 0:45:05.360
<v Speaker 3>And I was like okay, like I never had a

0:45:05.400 --> 0:45:07.800
<v Speaker 3>guy who left him. I'm like sure, whatever, I'll explore you.

0:45:08.840 --> 0:45:11.520
<v Speaker 3>And then it started going to butt plugs and I

0:45:11.640 --> 0:45:13.720
<v Speaker 3>was like okay, yeah, okay, yeah.

0:45:13.560 --> 0:45:14.000
<v Speaker 4>I'll do that.

0:45:14.880 --> 0:45:17.520
<v Speaker 3>Then one day we were like kind of in actually,

0:45:17.560 --> 0:45:20.000
<v Speaker 3>you know, having good time, and then he's just like, oh,

0:45:20.080 --> 0:45:21.680
<v Speaker 3>you know, I want to show you like the porn

0:45:21.760 --> 0:45:24.080
<v Speaker 3>I like. And I was just kind of like in

0:45:24.080 --> 0:45:26.040
<v Speaker 3>a shock because I was, you know, a little distracted,

0:45:26.160 --> 0:45:28.800
<v Speaker 3>so he just showed it to me and then he's like,

0:45:28.960 --> 0:45:31.840
<v Speaker 3>isn't this just like a beautiful girl with such a large,

0:45:32.640 --> 0:45:33.239
<v Speaker 3>you know, cock?

0:45:33.760 --> 0:45:35.319
<v Speaker 4>So after that, I was.

0:45:35.840 --> 0:45:38.640
<v Speaker 3>I was kind of like a like surprised because I

0:45:38.800 --> 0:45:42.440
<v Speaker 3>was not expecting anything like that. So then, you know,

0:45:42.520 --> 0:45:44.799
<v Speaker 3>I didn't want to make him feel awkward because I feel,

0:45:44.840 --> 0:45:47.759
<v Speaker 3>you know, that's something like something you don't fully always share,

0:45:47.880 --> 0:45:50.799
<v Speaker 3>I guess. So yeah, I'm glad he was open and all,

0:45:50.920 --> 0:45:53.320
<v Speaker 3>but like it was still like kind of like where'd

0:45:53.360 --> 0:45:57.040
<v Speaker 3>that come from? And yeah, so I didn't really say

0:45:57.160 --> 0:45:59.359
<v Speaker 3>much about it. But then after like the whole thing,

0:45:59.440 --> 0:46:00.960
<v Speaker 3>I like kind I like thought about it, and I

0:46:01.080 --> 0:46:02.960
<v Speaker 3>was like, me, you kind of feel a little insecure

0:46:02.960 --> 0:46:08.120
<v Speaker 3>because I'll never have a penis. Like these whole times

0:46:08.160 --> 0:46:10.520
<v Speaker 3>that we've been doing things like has he imagined me

0:46:10.640 --> 0:46:13.040
<v Speaker 3>with the penis? Like you know, he wanted me to

0:46:13.080 --> 0:46:15.520
<v Speaker 3>get butt plugs put my finger in him and then

0:46:15.560 --> 0:46:17.960
<v Speaker 3>he'll like suck my finger in face. It's like, my

0:46:18.080 --> 0:46:20.040
<v Speaker 3>girl cock. I didn't even know what that was.

0:46:21.640 --> 0:46:27.040
<v Speaker 2>Okay, So so we've got we've got a lot of

0:46:27.080 --> 0:46:32.480
<v Speaker 2>things going on here, two different we're talking those are

0:46:32.520 --> 0:46:34.400
<v Speaker 2>two separate things. By the way, I feel like you're

0:46:34.440 --> 0:46:38.080
<v Speaker 2>bringing up two separate things. Yeah, because there's the whole like,

0:46:38.200 --> 0:46:40.359
<v Speaker 2>what the fuck's up with this guy and what he does,

0:46:40.480 --> 0:46:43.480
<v Speaker 2>and then there's what the yeah, you know, what's up

0:46:43.520 --> 0:46:45.400
<v Speaker 2>with this guy in the bedroom type of thing. So

0:46:45.520 --> 0:46:49.360
<v Speaker 2>let's talk about the first one first. He pays for

0:46:49.440 --> 0:46:53.279
<v Speaker 2>everything in cash, so I mean it's pretty safe to

0:46:53.400 --> 0:47:00.439
<v Speaker 2>assume that he does some he's a drug guy, you said,

0:47:00.440 --> 0:47:02.360
<v Speaker 2>you say, I mean you tell the call screen, or

0:47:02.400 --> 0:47:03.800
<v Speaker 2>that he works in the cannabis industry.

0:47:05.360 --> 0:47:09.719
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, he's a professional license cannaby cannabis industry. He like

0:47:09.960 --> 0:47:12.600
<v Speaker 3>manages like four hundred plants in his warehouse.

0:47:12.719 --> 0:47:18.239
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, okay, And he clearly has like a a privacy

0:47:19.080 --> 0:47:22.759
<v Speaker 2>thing because uh yeah, he only wants to do snapchat.

0:47:22.800 --> 0:47:25.360
<v Speaker 2>He's in one of your conversations recorded. He pays for

0:47:25.400 --> 0:47:28.880
<v Speaker 2>everything with cash. Maybe he just has this like inherent

0:47:28.960 --> 0:47:32.799
<v Speaker 2>distrust of like a government. Say that again.

0:47:34.960 --> 0:47:37.359
<v Speaker 3>He always is concerned about safety.

0:47:37.120 --> 0:47:39.279
<v Speaker 1>Like that too.

0:47:40.080 --> 0:47:41.880
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, so that one last time he said it, you

0:47:42.000 --> 0:47:43.720
<v Speaker 2>cut out right when you were talking about safety.

0:47:43.719 --> 0:47:48.200
<v Speaker 3>So he he's also always very concerned about safety all

0:47:48.239 --> 0:47:50.359
<v Speaker 3>the time, Like he always wants to have a gun

0:47:50.680 --> 0:47:51.239
<v Speaker 3>around him.

0:47:51.960 --> 0:47:53.839
<v Speaker 2>He always has a gun around him.

0:47:55.640 --> 0:47:58.960
<v Speaker 3>Yeah that too, Yes, I think that's like important detail

0:47:59.680 --> 0:48:00.239
<v Speaker 3>at all.

0:48:00.440 --> 0:48:02.319
<v Speaker 2>Like every time you're with him he has a gun.

0:48:04.760 --> 0:48:05.000
<v Speaker 8>Yeah.

0:48:05.280 --> 0:48:08.239
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, Like he'll come over and he'll bring his gun. Yeah,

0:48:08.360 --> 0:48:10.400
<v Speaker 3>we go somewhere, like on vacation, he'll take it.

0:48:12.840 --> 0:48:16.200
<v Speaker 2>Okaym how does that make you feel?

0:48:18.800 --> 0:48:22.600
<v Speaker 3>Well, I'm not really afraid of guns. I'm pretty comfortable

0:48:22.680 --> 0:48:25.239
<v Speaker 3>with I own one myself. It's not like I go

0:48:26.000 --> 0:48:28.560
<v Speaker 3>you know, I'm not like a fanatic and goal it's

0:48:28.600 --> 0:48:30.960
<v Speaker 3>crazy about him, But I'm a girl, you know, who

0:48:31.000 --> 0:48:31.520
<v Speaker 3>lives at home.

0:48:31.600 --> 0:48:34.320
<v Speaker 6>So I just have a can gun for protection, so

0:48:34.680 --> 0:48:35.920
<v Speaker 6>it doesn't really bother me.

0:48:38.239 --> 0:48:40.040
<v Speaker 3>But it is kind of odd that it's like why,

0:48:41.440 --> 0:48:44.239
<v Speaker 3>like he's so worried about safety that you always feel

0:48:44.239 --> 0:48:46.640
<v Speaker 3>like you have to have a gun, Like I have one,

0:48:46.760 --> 0:48:48.959
<v Speaker 3>but I don't feel like if I leave my house,

0:48:49.040 --> 0:48:51.320
<v Speaker 3>I must have it with me to feel safe, you know.

0:48:52.280 --> 0:48:58.200
<v Speaker 2>Okay, So he pays with everything in cash. He's afraid

0:48:58.280 --> 0:49:00.920
<v Speaker 2>of people. Listening to this conversation, since he carries a

0:49:00.960 --> 0:49:04.160
<v Speaker 2>gun around him around with him everywhere, as you say,

0:49:04.360 --> 0:49:06.840
<v Speaker 2>not just like you guys go on your many vacations

0:49:06.880 --> 0:49:07.640
<v Speaker 2>that he brings the gun.

0:49:09.400 --> 0:49:10.319
<v Speaker 1>M m hmm.

0:49:11.280 --> 0:49:17.279
<v Speaker 2>Okay, so like, you know what him the whole the

0:49:17.360 --> 0:49:20.000
<v Speaker 2>whole second part of this where it's like he is,

0:49:20.440 --> 0:49:24.879
<v Speaker 2>you know, attracted to trans people and you're wondering, like, oh, yeah,

0:49:25.239 --> 0:49:28.520
<v Speaker 2>not attracted me because I'm not trans, you know whatever,

0:49:28.600 --> 0:49:29.600
<v Speaker 2>That is what it is.

0:49:29.880 --> 0:49:33.160
<v Speaker 3>But yeah, yeah, yeah, what.

0:49:37.640 --> 0:49:38.920
<v Speaker 2>How long have you known this guy for?

0:49:40.960 --> 0:49:41.120
<v Speaker 8>Oh?

0:49:41.160 --> 0:49:43.400
<v Speaker 2>I would say like eight months or so, since it's

0:49:43.719 --> 0:49:45.360
<v Speaker 2>been been dating for eight months.

0:49:47.280 --> 0:49:49.520
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, but I don't see him all the time. It's

0:49:49.520 --> 0:49:52.400
<v Speaker 3>a little bit like an interesting setup, you know, because

0:49:52.760 --> 0:49:55.279
<v Speaker 3>I'm pretty independent myself, so I only see on maybe

0:49:55.320 --> 0:49:58.439
<v Speaker 3>a couple of times a month, and then sometimes we'll

0:49:58.480 --> 0:50:00.319
<v Speaker 3>take like a little vacationers thing.

0:50:02.040 --> 0:50:02.279
<v Speaker 6>Yeah.

0:50:02.880 --> 0:50:05.560
<v Speaker 2>And then you wrote he has offered to take care

0:50:05.680 --> 0:50:07.399
<v Speaker 2>of people. You told me this as well. You said

0:50:07.400 --> 0:50:09.080
<v Speaker 2>he is offered to take care of Yeah.

0:50:09.040 --> 0:50:12.120
<v Speaker 3>He has that, Yeah, said a couple of times, like

0:50:12.560 --> 0:50:19.760
<v Speaker 3>meeting taken care of I honestly never asked for details.

0:50:19.840 --> 0:50:21.160
<v Speaker 3>I think I just heard that and I was like,

0:50:21.239 --> 0:50:24.719
<v Speaker 3>what the what is that? I was like, Okay, I'm

0:50:24.800 --> 0:50:28.320
<v Speaker 3>just gonna yeah, you know, I'm gonna say if I

0:50:28.400 --> 0:50:29.239
<v Speaker 3>have a problem.

0:50:29.000 --> 0:50:32.520
<v Speaker 2>With you know, lydia uh listen, Lydia, you're your own

0:50:32.600 --> 0:50:36.000
<v Speaker 2>human being. You are thirty years old, you have the

0:50:36.080 --> 0:50:38.960
<v Speaker 2>agency to you know, date, see, you do whatever you want.

0:50:39.120 --> 0:50:42.600
<v Speaker 2>But by god, this guy, this guy would not date

0:50:42.680 --> 0:50:45.520
<v Speaker 2>this guy. This guy seems dangerous to.

0:50:45.600 --> 0:50:48.800
<v Speaker 5>Me, you know.

0:50:49.440 --> 0:50:53.279
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, I think I tend to like dangers. I don't know. Yeah,

0:50:54.239 --> 0:50:56.240
<v Speaker 3>it's a pattern. I guess I'm very smart.

0:51:00.440 --> 0:51:03.760
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, okay, it's pattern.

0:51:06.000 --> 0:51:08.480
<v Speaker 3>Yeah. My the last person I was with a very

0:51:08.600 --> 0:51:09.680
<v Speaker 3>toxic person too.

0:51:10.280 --> 0:51:15.160
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, okay, you said two Just now are you.

0:51:17.800 --> 0:51:18.560
<v Speaker 6>You said?

0:51:20.280 --> 0:51:22.200
<v Speaker 2>Why don't you said it was toxic? You know, I'm

0:51:22.320 --> 0:51:24.440
<v Speaker 2>just talking you through what's going on with you? Do

0:51:24.520 --> 0:51:25.880
<v Speaker 2>you do you think he's toxic?

0:51:28.280 --> 0:51:29.479
<v Speaker 3>Not really, because he's very.

0:51:29.480 --> 0:51:29.880
<v Speaker 6>Nice to me.

0:51:30.000 --> 0:51:31.919
<v Speaker 3>Like, yes, there's these odd behaviors.

0:51:32.080 --> 0:51:32.560
<v Speaker 1>I see that.

0:51:32.719 --> 0:51:35.200
<v Speaker 3>I see that as read he flags that you should

0:51:35.280 --> 0:51:36.680
<v Speaker 3>run for the hills for I get that.

0:51:36.880 --> 0:51:39.600
<v Speaker 8>But he's also very kind to me, like very generous,

0:51:40.560 --> 0:51:41.880
<v Speaker 8>very very nice.

0:51:42.520 --> 0:51:42.960
<v Speaker 6>Very nice.

0:51:43.560 --> 0:51:47.240
<v Speaker 2>Very see. I'm conflicted. I'm I'm conflicted about this because

0:51:47.480 --> 0:51:48.960
<v Speaker 2>you know, look, you're your own person. You should do

0:51:49.000 --> 0:51:52.239
<v Speaker 2>whatever you want. But yeah, it just it just it

0:51:52.360 --> 0:51:55.680
<v Speaker 2>just makes me squeamish that, you know, because like, look,

0:51:55.760 --> 0:51:57.640
<v Speaker 2>people are nice to you until they're not.

0:51:58.360 --> 0:51:58.680
<v Speaker 1>I don't know.

0:51:58.760 --> 0:52:02.080
<v Speaker 2>He doesn't seem like a guy who's I don't know.

0:52:02.200 --> 0:52:03.880
<v Speaker 2>It's just this is a weird situation to me. This

0:52:04.000 --> 0:52:06.560
<v Speaker 2>guy's always carrying on a gun and he's like because

0:52:06.560 --> 0:52:08.799
<v Speaker 2>another thing is if you don't really know that, if

0:52:08.840 --> 0:52:12.640
<v Speaker 2>you don't really know what's going on with this guy.

0:52:12.760 --> 0:52:14.400
<v Speaker 2>I'm in my head, I'm like, well what if you

0:52:14.480 --> 0:52:18.000
<v Speaker 2>know what if like there's he's involved with some fucking

0:52:18.320 --> 0:52:20.080
<v Speaker 2>gang or something, and they're like, all right, well we

0:52:20.120 --> 0:52:22.880
<v Speaker 2>can't get him, let's figure out who's close to him

0:52:22.920 --> 0:52:25.839
<v Speaker 2>and you know, send him, kidnap her or whatever. The fuck.

0:52:28.640 --> 0:52:31.040
<v Speaker 2>I mean, Look, I'm not gonna tell you it's I'm

0:52:31.080 --> 0:52:32.640
<v Speaker 2>not going to tell you it's not safe. I'm not

0:52:32.680 --> 0:52:34.840
<v Speaker 2>going to tell you it is safe. I I I

0:52:34.920 --> 0:52:37.960
<v Speaker 2>don't really know. I really can't gather that much information

0:52:38.040 --> 0:52:41.520
<v Speaker 2>over this eleven minute phone call. But yeah, well let

0:52:41.560 --> 0:52:44.120
<v Speaker 2>me ask you this. You called me, and I don't

0:52:44.160 --> 0:52:47.080
<v Speaker 2>know if this is just like something that you're just like, oh,

0:52:47.120 --> 0:52:48.400
<v Speaker 2>I called the get go. Let me think of what

0:52:48.480 --> 0:52:51.600
<v Speaker 2>I have to talk about. But the fact that you

0:52:51.680 --> 0:52:53.920
<v Speaker 2>called me shows that there is some inkling within you

0:52:54.120 --> 0:52:59.840
<v Speaker 2>that's like it's a little bit skeptical. Let's talk this,

0:53:00.080 --> 0:53:02.520
<v Speaker 2>talk about this gut feeling. What's what's this gut feeling

0:53:02.880 --> 0:53:03.360
<v Speaker 2>saying to you?

0:53:06.560 --> 0:53:10.520
<v Speaker 3>It just sounds well, okay. So I just feel like I,

0:53:10.680 --> 0:53:13.520
<v Speaker 3>in a sense need him for something because I grow

0:53:13.640 --> 0:53:16.640
<v Speaker 3>cannabis plants and he gave me some, so I need

0:53:16.800 --> 0:53:20.000
<v Speaker 3>him to tell me, like what my nutrients to give it.

0:53:20.200 --> 0:53:23.080
<v Speaker 3>And then everything's so secretive, like if I ask, oh,

0:53:23.120 --> 0:53:24.759
<v Speaker 3>what did I give this with the brand of it,

0:53:24.880 --> 0:53:28.160
<v Speaker 3>I want to share it with whatever, and then very

0:53:28.239 --> 0:53:30.799
<v Speaker 3>limited information will only tell me day by day.

0:53:32.080 --> 0:53:37.800
<v Speaker 2>Right backup, back back up. Yeah, you say you need you.

0:53:38.400 --> 0:53:42.200
<v Speaker 2>This gut feeling is saying we're all over the place.

0:53:42.280 --> 0:53:44.799
<v Speaker 2>Now you're saying you need him to help you grow

0:53:44.840 --> 0:53:45.440
<v Speaker 2>your plants.

0:53:47.360 --> 0:53:48.719
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, I know that.

0:53:50.200 --> 0:53:53.279
<v Speaker 2>And you're saying that as a reason to stay with him.

0:53:53.360 --> 0:53:54.479
<v Speaker 2>What are you saying that as.

0:53:55.920 --> 0:53:56.080
<v Speaker 5>Well?

0:53:56.160 --> 0:53:58.359
<v Speaker 3>See the way I feel it, I don't really see

0:53:58.440 --> 0:53:59.080
<v Speaker 3>him too much.

0:53:59.120 --> 0:54:01.080
<v Speaker 8>I see him maybe a couple of times a month,

0:54:01.239 --> 0:54:03.080
<v Speaker 8>and then when you feel them, it's like a good time.

0:54:03.560 --> 0:54:07.320
<v Speaker 8>So the time, like I still get like instructions on

0:54:07.520 --> 0:54:10.640
<v Speaker 8>my plants, and then I want to learn how to

0:54:10.719 --> 0:54:13.040
<v Speaker 8>grow them so I can just have that as my supply,

0:54:13.280 --> 0:54:14.440
<v Speaker 8>so I see it as I.

0:54:14.520 --> 0:54:16.319
<v Speaker 7>Only have to Okay, hold on, we're geting, we're getting

0:54:16.360 --> 0:54:18.640
<v Speaker 7>off top, we're getting off topic here. This is feels

0:54:18.680 --> 0:54:21.560
<v Speaker 7>off topic because I'm talking about this gut feeling. You

0:54:21.719 --> 0:54:25.080
<v Speaker 7>called me because you wanted to talk to me about

0:54:25.440 --> 0:54:27.640
<v Speaker 7>this stuff. How you feel like this guy is shady?

0:54:27.840 --> 0:54:29.960
<v Speaker 7>You know what, the bedroom stuff. It feels like an

0:54:29.960 --> 0:54:32.279
<v Speaker 7>after the fact thing, but you just feel like he

0:54:32.400 --> 0:54:34.800
<v Speaker 7>was shady, and so he called to talk about it

0:54:34.880 --> 0:54:37.560
<v Speaker 7>because a gut feeling is telling you it's shady. Tell

0:54:37.560 --> 0:54:38.800
<v Speaker 7>me about that gut feeling.

0:54:40.880 --> 0:54:44.799
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, my gut feeling says it's not worth my time.

0:54:46.320 --> 0:54:49.560
<v Speaker 2>Okay, you got feelings telling you that it's not time.

0:54:54.560 --> 0:54:54.920
<v Speaker 4>I don't know.

0:54:55.000 --> 0:54:56.080
<v Speaker 3>Actually, I don't know.

0:54:56.200 --> 0:54:57.800
<v Speaker 1>That's a that's a I don't know.

0:55:01.320 --> 0:55:02.880
<v Speaker 2>This is this is a this is a This is

0:55:02.920 --> 0:55:05.360
<v Speaker 2>a tough situation because you're an adult. I'm not you know,

0:55:05.360 --> 0:55:06.719
<v Speaker 2>I'm not here to tell you what you should or

0:55:06.719 --> 0:55:08.440
<v Speaker 2>shouldn't do. Yeah, Like, I mean, if you want my

0:55:08.680 --> 0:55:10.160
<v Speaker 2>I'm not even looking to the chat right now. I'm

0:55:10.200 --> 0:55:12.359
<v Speaker 2>sure everyone has the same thing where they're like, yeah, yeah,

0:55:12.480 --> 0:55:16.239
<v Speaker 2>this guy, he sounds to me like he's kind of bad. News.

0:55:19.239 --> 0:55:21.800
<v Speaker 2>You're an adult. You can make whatever risky decisions you

0:55:21.840 --> 0:55:24.799
<v Speaker 2>want to make. But it's definitely I just I don't

0:55:24.840 --> 0:55:27.640
<v Speaker 2>know about this guy. It seems like a weird situation.

0:55:27.360 --> 0:55:27.719
<v Speaker 3>To be in.

0:55:30.280 --> 0:55:42.320
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, so just be vigilant at least. Yeah, and this

0:55:42.520 --> 0:55:44.200
<v Speaker 2>is you said you're on tender right.

0:55:46.640 --> 0:55:48.560
<v Speaker 6>Yeah, it was the first time I used it, only

0:55:48.680 --> 0:55:49.560
<v Speaker 6>person I met there.

0:55:50.840 --> 0:55:53.560
<v Speaker 2>M hmmm, are you talking to other people on tender?

0:55:55.920 --> 0:55:55.960
<v Speaker 4>No?

0:55:56.680 --> 0:55:59.920
<v Speaker 3>I only like to sleep with one person at a time.

0:56:00.840 --> 0:56:06.520
<v Speaker 2>Mm hmmmm. Well Lydia, Uh, good luck to you, I hope.

0:56:06.840 --> 0:56:09.200
<v Speaker 2>Talking about this situation, you said, did you tell me that?

0:56:09.719 --> 0:56:11.959
<v Speaker 2>Have you like told told other people that you're seeing

0:56:12.000 --> 0:56:14.120
<v Speaker 2>this guy? And like just about this ship.

0:56:16.280 --> 0:56:16.920
<v Speaker 6>Just one person?

0:56:19.040 --> 0:56:20.560
<v Speaker 2>Or is it like one of your friends? What does

0:56:20.600 --> 0:56:22.000
<v Speaker 2>your friend think about this whole situation?

0:56:24.040 --> 0:56:24.560
<v Speaker 5>Oh, they don't.

0:56:24.680 --> 0:56:26.280
<v Speaker 6>They don't think he's a positive person.

0:56:26.360 --> 0:56:26.919
<v Speaker 3>The beer out?

0:56:27.480 --> 0:56:31.440
<v Speaker 2>Okay, all right, so now we have two perspectives, right

0:56:31.480 --> 0:56:33.359
<v Speaker 2>because I'm a little and this is a bad time too,

0:56:33.360 --> 0:56:35.359
<v Speaker 2>because I'm thinking, like, well, shit, if she's gonna break

0:56:35.440 --> 0:56:38.160
<v Speaker 2>up with him, like I'm almost I'm like, dude, I'm

0:56:38.200 --> 0:56:40.840
<v Speaker 2>scared about like how are you going to leave this?

0:56:40.960 --> 0:56:46.959
<v Speaker 2>Because this guy just seems like he's a this is messing.

0:56:47.200 --> 0:56:49.239
<v Speaker 2>If I'm you, I'm like, okay, cool because I you know,

0:56:49.280 --> 0:56:50.600
<v Speaker 2>I'm just think about like if you're gonna leave this

0:56:50.719 --> 0:56:53.640
<v Speaker 2>like is to see has he ever ever been like

0:56:54.000 --> 0:56:57.000
<v Speaker 2>violent or weird just a little shady?

0:56:59.280 --> 0:57:02.680
<v Speaker 8>No, one just like the communications being is kind of off,

0:57:02.920 --> 0:57:04.120
<v Speaker 8>you know, like the cash, the.

0:57:06.440 --> 0:57:06.719
<v Speaker 6>That's it.

0:57:06.920 --> 0:57:08.839
<v Speaker 3>But yeah, I don't really know a whole lot about him,

0:57:08.880 --> 0:57:15.440
<v Speaker 3>so that's kind of good too. Yeah. He just he's

0:57:15.560 --> 0:57:20.000
<v Speaker 3>very nice, to be very generous, very nice Christians.

0:57:20.800 --> 0:57:26.760
<v Speaker 2>Well Adio like squirt things well, Lydia, Uh, you know,

0:57:26.880 --> 0:57:33.600
<v Speaker 2>look man, be vigilant, uh all that stuff. Thank you

0:57:33.720 --> 0:57:34.240
<v Speaker 2>for sharing.

0:57:35.200 --> 0:57:35.280
<v Speaker 4>Uh?

0:57:35.440 --> 0:57:36.720
<v Speaker 2>Is there anything that you want to say to the

0:57:36.800 --> 0:57:37.920
<v Speaker 2>people the computer before we go?

0:57:40.240 --> 0:57:43.360
<v Speaker 3>No, thank you for listening. I think listening helps more

0:57:43.440 --> 0:57:43.800
<v Speaker 3>than you know.

0:57:44.800 --> 0:57:46.040
<v Speaker 2>Awesome, Thank you for calling, Lydia.

0:57:46.800 --> 0:57:48.479
<v Speaker 3>Thank you, Hi. Bye.

0:57:53.120 --> 0:57:56.560
<v Speaker 2>Would I personally date a guy who brings a gun everywhere?

0:58:01.760 --> 0:58:02.200
<v Speaker 2>I would not.

0:58:04.160 --> 0:58:04.360
<v Speaker 3>Yeah.

0:58:04.440 --> 0:58:08.440
<v Speaker 2>That just had bad news written all over it. That

0:58:08.600 --> 0:58:15.160
<v Speaker 2>had bad news written all over it. And you and

0:58:15.240 --> 0:58:18.480
<v Speaker 2>I heard Liddy. I almost went deeper into this, but

0:58:18.560 --> 0:58:20.960
<v Speaker 2>I guess I didn't. Where she said you heard her

0:58:21.000 --> 0:58:26.120
<v Speaker 2>say she said that she's attracted to danger, and maybe

0:58:26.160 --> 0:58:28.800
<v Speaker 2>that's part of the reason why she continues to see him.

0:58:30.640 --> 0:58:32.360
<v Speaker 2>And she had all these reasons. She was sort of

0:58:32.520 --> 0:58:34.320
<v Speaker 2>justifying it. She was like, well, he's nice to me

0:58:34.560 --> 0:58:36.240
<v Speaker 2>and I only see him a few months, a few

0:58:36.280 --> 0:58:40.080
<v Speaker 2>times a month, and like whatever. You know, she's an adult.

0:58:40.160 --> 0:58:42.320
<v Speaker 2>She can make her own decisions. If she is attracted

0:58:42.400 --> 0:58:45.680
<v Speaker 2>to danger and wants to do risky stuff, you know,

0:58:45.760 --> 0:58:49.160
<v Speaker 2>it's her prerogative. But dad just fucking didn't sit right

0:58:49.200 --> 0:58:52.520
<v Speaker 2>with me at all. Anything with that guy. I hope

0:58:52.560 --> 0:58:56.480
<v Speaker 2>she is okay. I hope she makes the right decision,

0:58:58.920 --> 0:59:10.640
<v Speaker 2>whatever that may be. Stay safe Lydia, Okay, moving on. Hello,

0:59:14.720 --> 0:59:15.240
<v Speaker 2>Oh my god?

0:59:15.360 --> 0:59:15.680
<v Speaker 3>Is this me?

0:59:17.960 --> 0:59:19.240
<v Speaker 4>No, it's me while.

0:59:21.040 --> 0:59:21.560
<v Speaker 6>Oh my god.

0:59:21.600 --> 0:59:23.080
<v Speaker 4>I didn't think I was gonna get picked.

0:59:22.920 --> 0:59:27.440
<v Speaker 2>High and here you are. You're picked. Let's make it

0:59:27.520 --> 0:59:27.800
<v Speaker 2>worth it.

0:59:32.760 --> 0:59:35.440
<v Speaker 4>How are you doing tonight, lyle Joey.

0:59:35.720 --> 0:59:38.800
<v Speaker 2>I'm doing pretty good. I'm feeling I to be honest,

0:59:38.840 --> 0:59:42.400
<v Speaker 2>I'm feeling better than I felt in the past forty

0:59:42.440 --> 0:59:43.760
<v Speaker 2>eight hours. How are you doing?

0:59:45.800 --> 0:59:46.240
<v Speaker 6>You know what?

0:59:46.600 --> 0:59:49.480
<v Speaker 4>I'm I'm doing pretty good. I was just making mistakes

0:59:49.560 --> 0:59:53.040
<v Speaker 4>for dinner and I I actually saw my spoke alarms,

0:59:53.120 --> 0:59:54.880
<v Speaker 4>so I had to do with that for a few minutes.

0:59:55.120 --> 0:59:59.120
<v Speaker 4>So it's good now, is.

0:59:59.120 --> 1:00:00.000
<v Speaker 2>It still going.

1:00:02.280 --> 1:00:03.520
<v Speaker 4>No, you'd hear it if it was.

1:00:04.240 --> 1:00:06.440
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, that's why I thought. That's why, That's why that

1:00:06.520 --> 1:00:09.400
<v Speaker 2>was a dumb question of me to ask what's going

1:00:09.440 --> 1:00:10.240
<v Speaker 2>on with you, joey.

1:00:12.240 --> 1:00:16.000
<v Speaker 4>Ah, nothing much. I'm just uh, just living, trying to

1:00:16.040 --> 1:00:20.280
<v Speaker 4>live my best life, you know, doing doing everything I

1:00:20.360 --> 1:00:22.240
<v Speaker 4>can to make others happy in the world. You know.

1:00:24.080 --> 1:00:25.880
<v Speaker 2>Uh, is there anything in particular that you want to

1:00:25.920 --> 1:00:26.560
<v Speaker 2>talk about tonight?

1:00:28.600 --> 1:00:28.840
<v Speaker 6>Yeah.

1:00:29.080 --> 1:00:32.240
<v Speaker 4>So the reason I called you, Lyle was because so

1:00:32.440 --> 1:00:35.000
<v Speaker 4>I don't know if you know who the Colorado Avalanche are,

1:00:37.400 --> 1:00:41.480
<v Speaker 4>but they are. They are the Colorado hockey team. So

1:00:41.640 --> 1:00:45.880
<v Speaker 4>like they're the professional hockey team in Colorado, and they've

1:00:46.040 --> 1:00:48.800
<v Speaker 4>just made it to the Western Conference finals, so they're

1:00:48.840 --> 1:00:52.240
<v Speaker 4>one they're one round away from making it to like

1:00:52.320 --> 1:00:53.800
<v Speaker 4>the championship, right.

1:00:56.800 --> 1:00:57.200
<v Speaker 2>Mm hmm?

1:00:58.560 --> 1:00:59.880
<v Speaker 4>Does that Does that make sense?

1:01:00.440 --> 1:01:00.600
<v Speaker 6>Yeah?

1:01:00.640 --> 1:01:01.000
<v Speaker 2>Of course?

1:01:03.040 --> 1:01:07.760
<v Speaker 4>Okay, Well when they so for context, in game in

1:01:07.920 --> 1:01:15.960
<v Speaker 4>game five, they they in game five, they blew a

1:01:16.120 --> 1:01:18.640
<v Speaker 4>three nothing lead. So in the third period they had

1:01:18.680 --> 1:01:20.920
<v Speaker 4>a three to one lead and they blew it. They

1:01:21.200 --> 1:01:23.440
<v Speaker 4>ended up losing that game five to four in overtime.

1:01:24.320 --> 1:01:28.400
<v Speaker 4>And I found myself getting very upset, like I was

1:01:28.560 --> 1:01:35.200
<v Speaker 4>beyond upset, right, oh yeah, so so except that I

1:01:35.320 --> 1:01:38.400
<v Speaker 4>pounded my fist at the bar and I like hurt

1:01:38.440 --> 1:01:40.960
<v Speaker 4>my fists for a little bit, and I went to

1:01:41.040 --> 1:01:42.959
<v Speaker 4>bed angry. And then when I woke up, I found

1:01:43.000 --> 1:01:48.640
<v Speaker 4>myself I was very anxious because my team happened to

1:01:48.800 --> 1:01:51.840
<v Speaker 4>have this curse on them where they couldn't get out

1:01:51.840 --> 1:01:54.360
<v Speaker 4>of the second round. They did, they did eventually win

1:01:54.440 --> 1:01:57.280
<v Speaker 4>the game, but up until that point where they won

1:01:57.360 --> 1:02:00.800
<v Speaker 4>the game, I was extremely like, just's just a nervous

1:02:00.840 --> 1:02:02.680
<v Speaker 4>that we were going to lose again. And I I

1:02:02.800 --> 1:02:07.720
<v Speaker 4>found that I was letting myself become hyper, like my emotions,

1:02:07.960 --> 1:02:10.960
<v Speaker 4>my happiness, and my sadness were dictated by the hockey team.

1:02:11.080 --> 1:02:11.200
<v Speaker 8>Right.

1:02:11.840 --> 1:02:15.439
<v Speaker 4>So my question to you is how do I how

1:02:16.240 --> 1:02:19.080
<v Speaker 4>how should I not get so invested because I like

1:02:19.440 --> 1:02:24.040
<v Speaker 4>have I have a ton of jerseys I buy, you know,

1:02:24.120 --> 1:02:27.400
<v Speaker 4>I just bought tickets to game one tomorrow, you know,

1:02:27.920 --> 1:02:30.600
<v Speaker 4>so like I am a super fan, but I don't

1:02:30.640 --> 1:02:33.320
<v Speaker 4>want to have my emotions connected to it, you know

1:02:33.360 --> 1:02:33.720
<v Speaker 4>what I mean?

1:02:34.640 --> 1:02:34.840
<v Speaker 3>Yeah?

1:02:34.880 --> 1:02:36.880
<v Speaker 2>Man, it's well, you tell the call screener that you

1:02:36.920 --> 1:02:40.000
<v Speaker 2>feel like your obsession with sports is letting it letting

1:02:40.040 --> 1:02:42.360
<v Speaker 2>you know, affecting your happiness and your emotions to an

1:02:42.360 --> 1:02:51.720
<v Speaker 2>excessive degree. Yes, yes, so I feel like sports is

1:02:51.880 --> 1:02:58.000
<v Speaker 2>like with all things, you know, escapism, you know, because

1:02:58.200 --> 1:03:03.040
<v Speaker 2>your your emotion invested in something, and it feels kind

1:03:03.080 --> 1:03:06.320
<v Speaker 2>of good to care about shit, be emotionally invested in shit.

1:03:06.720 --> 1:03:09.920
<v Speaker 2>And that's why people get invested into sports, is because

1:03:11.040 --> 1:03:16.160
<v Speaker 2>there's something to that. And I guess the problem and

1:03:16.240 --> 1:03:17.800
<v Speaker 2>you can say this about a lot of things, but

1:03:17.880 --> 1:03:20.720
<v Speaker 2>it becomes a problem when you get so emotionally invested

1:03:21.320 --> 1:03:26.880
<v Speaker 2>into this thing that is not worth being the sole

1:03:27.400 --> 1:03:32.480
<v Speaker 2>focus of all of the emotions that you have to

1:03:32.640 --> 1:03:39.200
<v Speaker 2>invest right, that's the problem. So I ask you, what

1:03:39.400 --> 1:03:43.840
<v Speaker 2>else in your life do you have to become emotionally

1:03:43.920 --> 1:03:44.480
<v Speaker 2>invested in?

1:03:47.560 --> 1:03:54.560
<v Speaker 4>Well, well, I kind of just got a boyfriend, so

1:03:54.640 --> 1:03:57.200
<v Speaker 4>I have that, but he's an hour away from me,

1:03:57.240 --> 1:03:59.120
<v Speaker 4>and I can only ever, I can only see him

1:03:59.200 --> 1:04:02.480
<v Speaker 4>like every the week because you know, gas is expensive, mm,

1:04:04.920 --> 1:04:08.640
<v Speaker 4>so you know I'm trying to Uh, So I have that,

1:04:08.920 --> 1:04:11.000
<v Speaker 4>and then I have a couple. I don't know if

1:04:11.040 --> 1:04:13.800
<v Speaker 4>you've heard of the shows called Has Been Hotel and

1:04:13.880 --> 1:04:17.160
<v Speaker 4>Hell of a Boss. They're on YouTube. They're free to watch.

1:04:18.320 --> 1:04:22.680
<v Speaker 4>So has been Hotel is about the Princess of Hell.

1:04:23.880 --> 1:04:25.920
<v Speaker 4>They have like a purge in Hell every year.

1:04:25.960 --> 1:04:29.560
<v Speaker 2>Ar what the what the what the show is about?

1:04:29.560 --> 1:04:32.400
<v Speaker 2>Are you saying that those shows are what you would

1:04:32.400 --> 1:04:34.120
<v Speaker 2>You're becoming emotionally invested in.

1:04:35.920 --> 1:04:36.800
<v Speaker 5>Yes, but the.

1:04:36.840 --> 1:04:39.840
<v Speaker 4>Problem is the season finale of of one of the

1:04:39.920 --> 1:04:42.040
<v Speaker 4>shows is taking a while to come out because it's

1:04:42.040 --> 1:04:47.640
<v Speaker 4>an independently funded show, and then the other one, the

1:04:47.760 --> 1:04:54.440
<v Speaker 4>other one is a is it's still coming out, So

1:04:54.520 --> 1:04:55.880
<v Speaker 4>I'm kind of invested in that.

1:04:57.760 --> 1:04:58.960
<v Speaker 5>Yeah, what do you do?

1:04:59.080 --> 1:05:00.920
<v Speaker 2>What do you do for for a living? Or are

1:05:00.960 --> 1:05:02.680
<v Speaker 2>you in are you in school? Or do you work?

1:05:04.800 --> 1:05:12.600
<v Speaker 4>I work at this place called micro Chip micro Chip Man.

1:05:12.680 --> 1:05:13.800
<v Speaker 4>People are people are mean?

1:05:13.840 --> 1:05:14.320
<v Speaker 5>And chat.

1:05:16.760 --> 1:05:21.560
<v Speaker 2>Joe Joe, Joe Joey. Can you hear me? Mhm, Joy,

1:05:21.680 --> 1:05:23.800
<v Speaker 2>Please don't read the chat. Please put the chat away

1:05:23.920 --> 1:05:25.760
<v Speaker 2>and we'll just you and me talk. Don't worry about

1:05:25.760 --> 1:05:28.640
<v Speaker 2>what they're saying. They're not real people, they're just spots.

1:05:29.840 --> 1:05:32.320
<v Speaker 2>This is all and you're not real either. The callers

1:05:32.360 --> 1:05:34.600
<v Speaker 2>aren't real. I'm not real. No, No, this is real.

1:05:34.680 --> 1:05:37.200
<v Speaker 2>We're all a dream in my head. Don't read the chat?

1:05:37.440 --> 1:05:42.160
<v Speaker 2>Can you hear me, Joey, Yes, I can hear you. Sorry, No,

1:05:42.280 --> 1:05:44.080
<v Speaker 2>it's okay, man, don't worrybout. Don't listen to anything. O

1:05:44.120 --> 1:05:50.920
<v Speaker 2>they said. Okay, all right, so you have you have

1:05:51.000 --> 1:05:53.040
<v Speaker 2>your boyfriend? You are, Yeah, you work at this place

1:05:53.080 --> 1:05:55.120
<v Speaker 2>called microchip. Tell me, tell me more about your job.

1:05:55.160 --> 1:05:55.760
<v Speaker 2>What do you do there?

1:05:58.000 --> 1:06:01.480
<v Speaker 4>So it's it's kind of hard to describe what I

1:06:01.600 --> 1:06:07.000
<v Speaker 4>do there because it's like I literally make microchips. So

1:06:07.120 --> 1:06:13.320
<v Speaker 4>I'm in a clean room, like I'm wearing a bunny suit,

1:06:13.360 --> 1:06:15.479
<v Speaker 4>which is kind of like a half in that suit

1:06:15.560 --> 1:06:17.760
<v Speaker 4>of white, and like you have to put boots on,

1:06:18.440 --> 1:06:22.400
<v Speaker 4>you have to put glasses on, but the whole shield.

1:06:24.400 --> 1:06:25.800
<v Speaker 2>Okay. Do you like your job?

1:06:29.080 --> 1:06:32.520
<v Speaker 4>Not really? But it pays very well and it's a

1:06:32.640 --> 1:06:35.200
<v Speaker 4>very it's like a very professional job.

1:06:35.880 --> 1:06:38.880
<v Speaker 2>Okay, that's fair. So you don't like the job itself,

1:06:38.920 --> 1:06:41.600
<v Speaker 2>but you like the status and the money, which is fair.

1:06:42.600 --> 1:06:42.800
<v Speaker 1>Right.

1:06:43.440 --> 1:06:48.840
<v Speaker 2>Okay, See if your boyfriends he lives an hour away.

1:06:49.400 --> 1:06:50.600
<v Speaker 2>Do you have Do you have friends?

1:06:53.000 --> 1:06:53.200
<v Speaker 3>Yes?

1:06:53.360 --> 1:06:53.560
<v Speaker 6>I do.

1:06:54.440 --> 1:06:59.000
<v Speaker 4>They're they are they're very busy because they deal with

1:06:59.120 --> 1:07:04.640
<v Speaker 4>a lot of crap themselves. Sure, so I don't really

1:07:04.680 --> 1:07:06.720
<v Speaker 4>get to talk to them that often. And we do

1:07:07.120 --> 1:07:10.880
<v Speaker 4>hang out at a club meeting like at like a

1:07:11.040 --> 1:07:13.680
<v Speaker 4>club every every other Wednesday that I can make.

1:07:13.640 --> 1:07:21.640
<v Speaker 2>It for for for a card game awesome. So if

1:07:21.640 --> 1:07:25.000
<v Speaker 2>your card game club every other week, that's great. You

1:07:25.080 --> 1:07:28.440
<v Speaker 2>have this job which you seem like you're proud of

1:07:28.560 --> 1:07:30.280
<v Speaker 2>and spaking the money. If you don't like the job

1:07:30.320 --> 1:07:34.560
<v Speaker 2>that much yourself, you have this, boyfriends, is the reason

1:07:34.840 --> 1:07:38.080
<v Speaker 2>I'm asking you all this stuff because you know, we're

1:07:38.200 --> 1:07:41.680
<v Speaker 2>kind of trying to find like you're getting and and

1:07:41.800 --> 1:07:44.040
<v Speaker 2>you and this is you you telling me that you

1:07:44.120 --> 1:07:48.200
<v Speaker 2>feel like it's a problem for you being too heavily

1:07:48.240 --> 1:07:52.680
<v Speaker 2>emotionally invested into uh sports, which is something that you

1:07:52.880 --> 1:07:55.560
<v Speaker 2>just you know, I mean it's a classic thing that

1:07:55.640 --> 1:07:59.840
<v Speaker 2>you have no control over and that it has no

1:08:00.000 --> 1:08:05.240
<v Speaker 2>control over you, you know. So I think it's you know,

1:08:05.600 --> 1:08:08.360
<v Speaker 2>everybody has their thing, whether it's video games or movies

1:08:08.600 --> 1:08:10.520
<v Speaker 2>or whatever, and you know, if it makes you happy,

1:08:10.560 --> 1:08:14.840
<v Speaker 2>that's awesome. But you know, I think you also understand

1:08:14.920 --> 1:08:19.080
<v Speaker 2>that like there's a you know, you want to limit

1:08:19.160 --> 1:08:22.799
<v Speaker 2>your amount of emotional investment in this kind of stuff

1:08:23.560 --> 1:08:26.120
<v Speaker 2>before it gets like too real, because you're describing it

1:08:26.160 --> 1:08:30.320
<v Speaker 2>as getting too real and find better things to be

1:08:30.400 --> 1:08:33.040
<v Speaker 2>emotionally invested in. And your relationships are great things to

1:08:33.080 --> 1:08:36.800
<v Speaker 2>be emotionally invested in. You know, your friends. I love

1:08:36.880 --> 1:08:38.920
<v Speaker 2>that you have this card group of people. I think

1:08:38.960 --> 1:08:43.320
<v Speaker 2>that's awesome. I love that you have this relationship that's

1:08:43.360 --> 1:08:47.200
<v Speaker 2>that's new, that you seem excited about. That's awesome. You

1:08:47.240 --> 1:08:50.000
<v Speaker 2>don't seem too invested in your job, but that's that's okay.

1:08:50.080 --> 1:08:52.599
<v Speaker 2>Now everyone has to love their job. But I guess

1:08:52.640 --> 1:08:56.600
<v Speaker 2>I'm trying to think of, like, what are some productive

1:08:57.720 --> 1:09:01.479
<v Speaker 2>things for you to get a mouly invested in that

1:09:01.680 --> 1:09:08.440
<v Speaker 2>aren't just uh, you know, sports or or entertainment necessarily.

1:09:10.640 --> 1:09:14.080
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, And see, see that's the problem because I funny,

1:09:14.200 --> 1:09:16.280
<v Speaker 4>funnily enough, I do have a real therapist and a

1:09:16.320 --> 1:09:20.680
<v Speaker 4>psychiatrist and we talk about these things because I do.

1:09:21.120 --> 1:09:24.840
<v Speaker 4>I do take antidepressants and stuff. But the problem is,

1:09:25.360 --> 1:09:29.960
<v Speaker 4>like it they like, all they help me do is

1:09:30.200 --> 1:09:32.400
<v Speaker 4>like get out of bed, really, and then it's up

1:09:32.439 --> 1:09:35.360
<v Speaker 4>to me to determine what to do. And I'm not

1:09:35.439 --> 1:09:38.120
<v Speaker 4>a very interesting person. I live kind of in a

1:09:39.680 --> 1:09:42.840
<v Speaker 4>I live in a very beautiful city where there's a

1:09:42.920 --> 1:09:45.559
<v Speaker 4>lot of nature outdoorsy stuff, and I'm not a very

1:09:45.560 --> 1:09:52.720
<v Speaker 4>outdoorsy person. So you know, I'm more like, let's go

1:09:52.840 --> 1:09:55.519
<v Speaker 4>do things with people. Let's go let's go hang out

1:09:55.520 --> 1:09:58.120
<v Speaker 4>with people. But the problem is we don't have anybody

1:09:58.160 --> 1:10:01.720
<v Speaker 4>to go do those things with. No, then you kind

1:10:01.760 --> 1:10:05.040
<v Speaker 4>of just have to find something, you know.

1:10:06.280 --> 1:10:11.479
<v Speaker 2>Hm hmmm. Because you say you're not a very interesting person,

1:10:11.600 --> 1:10:14.320
<v Speaker 2>do you do you genuine question? Do you want to

1:10:14.439 --> 1:10:15.240
<v Speaker 2>be more interesting?

1:10:18.560 --> 1:10:18.760
<v Speaker 5>Well?

1:10:19.400 --> 1:10:22.680
<v Speaker 4>I mean yes and no, Like I I want I

1:10:22.840 --> 1:10:26.439
<v Speaker 4>want to I want to be a good enough person

1:10:26.479 --> 1:10:28.400
<v Speaker 4>and an interesting enough person to be able to make

1:10:28.439 --> 1:10:31.960
<v Speaker 4>an impact on the world where I can make people smile,

1:10:32.160 --> 1:10:35.280
<v Speaker 4>make people happy, just you know, be enlighten people's lives

1:10:35.320 --> 1:10:36.320
<v Speaker 4>where they don't have one.

1:10:37.080 --> 1:10:39.880
<v Speaker 2>But at the same time, I want to say, right there,

1:10:39.880 --> 1:10:41.400
<v Speaker 2>I just want to say, right there, I think what

1:10:41.600 --> 1:10:46.080
<v Speaker 2>you just said, that goal. I think that in and

1:10:46.200 --> 1:10:50.080
<v Speaker 2>of itself is a thing that is worth you becoming

1:10:50.840 --> 1:10:56.000
<v Speaker 2>emotionally invested in. Is the the idea of that and

1:10:56.120 --> 1:10:58.679
<v Speaker 2>how you can execute upon that idea? Does that make sense?

1:11:00.080 --> 1:11:03.000
<v Speaker 2>Mm hmmm, because.

1:11:03.240 --> 1:11:05.519
<v Speaker 4>So like try and find try and find a way

1:11:05.560 --> 1:11:08.479
<v Speaker 4>to get involved in like local community and stuff.

1:11:08.560 --> 1:11:10.880
<v Speaker 2>Right, yeah, I love that. I mean, yeah, that's one

1:11:10.960 --> 1:11:12.640
<v Speaker 2>of you know, a billion different ways that you can

1:11:12.680 --> 1:11:15.840
<v Speaker 2>satisfy that goal right there. I'm a big fan of

1:11:16.040 --> 1:11:21.560
<v Speaker 2>the general, the general idea that can be filled in

1:11:21.680 --> 1:11:25.200
<v Speaker 2>many different vessels, such as getting involved in local ship

1:11:25.320 --> 1:11:28.680
<v Speaker 2>like you just said. So I think that, right there

1:11:28.800 --> 1:11:33.200
<v Speaker 2>is a great thing to be emotionally invested in that's

1:11:33.280 --> 1:11:40.280
<v Speaker 2>not necessarily you know, sports or or entertainment. Tell me,

1:11:40.600 --> 1:11:43.320
<v Speaker 2>what else does your therapist tell you when you bring

1:11:43.400 --> 1:11:44.439
<v Speaker 2>all this ship up to them?

1:11:48.160 --> 1:11:51.880
<v Speaker 4>So my therap, I actually my last meeting with him

1:11:51.960 --> 1:11:54.360
<v Speaker 4>was like two weeks ago because I can't afford him

1:11:54.400 --> 1:11:57.719
<v Speaker 4>anymore because he's I have insurance, but he's out of market,

1:11:57.760 --> 1:11:59.920
<v Speaker 4>so I have to pay out of pocket for him. Yeah,

1:12:00.120 --> 1:12:02.320
<v Speaker 4>so I'm actually working on buying a new therapist. But

1:12:02.400 --> 1:12:05.320
<v Speaker 4>what he was saying was, you know, I think maybe

1:12:05.520 --> 1:12:09.760
<v Speaker 4>the stems from you just having a having an overwhelming

1:12:09.920 --> 1:12:10.920
<v Speaker 4>sense of self hate.

1:12:11.720 --> 1:12:16.080
<v Speaker 2>Hmmm, really, what was the reason for that?

1:12:16.680 --> 1:12:21.759
<v Speaker 4>Because because I do have an overwhelming sense of self loathing,

1:12:21.880 --> 1:12:27.840
<v Speaker 4>self hatred, self skitty you know stuff, right, And you know,

1:12:28.439 --> 1:12:31.000
<v Speaker 4>and you know, I look at people like you while

1:12:31.160 --> 1:12:34.560
<v Speaker 4>and I see the great impact you're having on your community,

1:12:35.720 --> 1:12:38.320
<v Speaker 4>and you know, that's what I want to do. I

1:12:38.439 --> 1:12:40.680
<v Speaker 4>want to help people, even if it's just talking. You know,

1:12:41.400 --> 1:12:44.000
<v Speaker 4>talking to someone even for five minutes a day can

1:12:44.600 --> 1:12:46.200
<v Speaker 4>maybe save someone's life, you know.

1:12:47.080 --> 1:12:53.160
<v Speaker 2>M yeah, man, I appreciate you saying that. I think, well,

1:12:53.200 --> 1:12:57.720
<v Speaker 2>I think that's awesome. I I think that if if

1:12:57.800 --> 1:13:00.240
<v Speaker 2>you get anything out of it, if we can take

1:13:00.320 --> 1:13:04.080
<v Speaker 2>this call down to a thesis of it for you

1:13:04.240 --> 1:13:09.000
<v Speaker 2>to like think about with all this shit, I think

1:13:09.040 --> 1:13:11.439
<v Speaker 2>that right there is the thesis is is you know,

1:13:11.920 --> 1:13:14.960
<v Speaker 2>great you have and I've talked to people a lot

1:13:15.000 --> 1:13:18.920
<v Speaker 2>about this before. You have like this central idea that

1:13:19.040 --> 1:13:21.320
<v Speaker 2>you want to help people. That's a great it's a

1:13:21.680 --> 1:13:25.160
<v Speaker 2>fantastic foundation. Not not necessarily that idea itself, but just

1:13:25.200 --> 1:13:29.400
<v Speaker 2>to have any idea of what you want to do

1:13:29.600 --> 1:13:34.799
<v Speaker 2>while you're alive. And so all this all this emotional

1:13:35.000 --> 1:13:36.840
<v Speaker 2>energy that you're putting into, if I can give you

1:13:36.920 --> 1:13:39.080
<v Speaker 2>one sort of recommendation, all this emotional energy that you're

1:13:39.080 --> 1:13:42.560
<v Speaker 2>putting into, and not to say that you have to

1:13:42.640 --> 1:13:48.880
<v Speaker 2>stop watching hockey or stop you know, uh, watching these

1:13:49.080 --> 1:13:54.519
<v Speaker 2>these online shows or anything like that, but like I

1:13:54.560 --> 1:13:56.840
<v Speaker 2>would take some of the emotional energy that you're putting

1:13:56.880 --> 1:14:01.599
<v Speaker 2>into those things and put it into really sitting down

1:14:02.120 --> 1:14:05.519
<v Speaker 2>and thinking like I would like, dude, even if you

1:14:05.720 --> 1:14:08.880
<v Speaker 2>wrote out a list on paper of like, Okay, I

1:14:08.960 --> 1:14:12.640
<v Speaker 2>want to help people. I want to give back to

1:14:12.720 --> 1:14:17.840
<v Speaker 2>the community in some way. What are concrete ways that

1:14:17.960 --> 1:14:22.519
<v Speaker 2>I could do that. Does it involve going on fucking

1:14:22.600 --> 1:14:26.200
<v Speaker 2>Facebook events and finding when people are picking up trash

1:14:26.280 --> 1:14:31.280
<v Speaker 2>at the local park, or does it involve going on

1:14:31.520 --> 1:14:35.000
<v Speaker 2>YouTube and making videos talking about your experience with your

1:14:35.320 --> 1:14:37.840
<v Speaker 2>self hatred and how that you know you sharing that

1:14:37.960 --> 1:14:39.400
<v Speaker 2>might be able to help other people. Whatever, it is,

1:14:39.520 --> 1:14:44.120
<v Speaker 2>just like taking some time to brainstorm and really think

1:14:44.160 --> 1:14:50.160
<v Speaker 2>about actionable ways for you to accomplish this central idea

1:14:50.880 --> 1:14:56.840
<v Speaker 2>that you have, I think would help. And I think

1:14:56.960 --> 1:14:59.160
<v Speaker 2>that And I'm not a real therapist. I'm i going

1:14:59.200 --> 1:15:03.280
<v Speaker 2>to tell you anything that your real therapist, you know whatever.

1:15:03.479 --> 1:15:06.960
<v Speaker 2>But I think with the self hatred thing, I think

1:15:07.000 --> 1:15:08.720
<v Speaker 2>we all deal with a little bit of that. And

1:15:08.760 --> 1:15:11.559
<v Speaker 2>I think if you had a little bit of evidence

1:15:11.920 --> 1:15:15.840
<v Speaker 2>for yourself, right, if you sat down and you wrote

1:15:15.920 --> 1:15:19.760
<v Speaker 2>this stuff out, and then you went and actioned upon it,

1:15:20.600 --> 1:15:22.560
<v Speaker 2>and then it provided you with a little bit of

1:15:22.600 --> 1:15:25.960
<v Speaker 2>evidence of like, Okay, great I do and you and

1:15:26.040 --> 1:15:29.160
<v Speaker 2>this will happen. This will happen if you take some

1:15:29.439 --> 1:15:32.040
<v Speaker 2>form of action toward it is a little bit of

1:15:32.120 --> 1:15:34.000
<v Speaker 2>evidence will sprout up and you'll be like, oh, I

1:15:34.120 --> 1:15:37.840
<v Speaker 2>do have the ability to affect change in other people,

1:15:38.960 --> 1:15:41.320
<v Speaker 2>and I have evidenced that to myself through these actions

1:15:41.360 --> 1:15:43.680
<v Speaker 2>I've taken. You know, your brain won't be able to

1:15:43.760 --> 1:15:48.640
<v Speaker 2>ignore that, So that that is what I would I

1:15:48.680 --> 1:15:50.680
<v Speaker 2>would recommend to you. What do you what do you

1:15:50.720 --> 1:15:51.360
<v Speaker 2>think about all of that?

1:15:51.680 --> 1:15:58.439
<v Speaker 4>Okay, I think you're right. I think that's that's some

1:15:58.479 --> 1:16:00.920
<v Speaker 4>of the best advice I've gotten in a long time.

1:16:02.040 --> 1:16:04.439
<v Speaker 4>And you know, I really I can't believe it's coming

1:16:04.479 --> 1:16:05.000
<v Speaker 4>from a get go.

1:16:05.880 --> 1:16:08.280
<v Speaker 2>No, I can't believe it's coming from the get go.

1:16:11.080 --> 1:16:13.760
<v Speaker 4>But Lyle, thank you, thank you so much.

1:16:16.520 --> 1:16:22.680
<v Speaker 2>Of course, man, Joey, of course, of course. What's the

1:16:22.760 --> 1:16:23.559
<v Speaker 2>name of this team again?

1:16:25.800 --> 1:16:27.440
<v Speaker 4>The Colorado Avalanche?

1:16:27.920 --> 1:16:30.600
<v Speaker 2>Colorado. Okay, I'll be keeping an eye on the Colorado Avalanche.

1:16:30.680 --> 1:16:33.280
<v Speaker 2>And I do hope you take the time to think

1:16:33.320 --> 1:16:36.240
<v Speaker 2>about actionable ways to you go off on that idea,

1:16:36.280 --> 1:16:39.200
<v Speaker 2>because I believe in your Joey, you sound like a

1:16:39.240 --> 1:16:43.320
<v Speaker 2>sweet guy, and uh, you know, I'm wishing you good

1:16:43.360 --> 1:16:44.120
<v Speaker 2>luck on your journey.

1:16:46.200 --> 1:16:50.760
<v Speaker 4>Thank you, And people don't forget to tip your bartenders.

1:16:51.520 --> 1:16:56.439
<v Speaker 2>Touching baby, have a good night, joe.

1:16:58.720 --> 1:16:58.920
<v Speaker 5>Lyle.

1:17:04.400 --> 1:17:04.960
<v Speaker 4>I like Joey.

1:17:05.000 --> 1:17:07.559
<v Speaker 2>He's a sweet guy. He's a sweet guy. I talk

1:17:07.600 --> 1:17:11.040
<v Speaker 2>about this all the time on here, rarely think about

1:17:11.080 --> 1:17:12.960
<v Speaker 2>it when I'm trying to solve my own problems of

1:17:13.000 --> 1:17:15.360
<v Speaker 2>my own life. That's how a lot of therapy you

1:17:15.400 --> 1:17:19.760
<v Speaker 2>got those stuff goes from it of little moments in

1:17:19.880 --> 1:17:21.519
<v Speaker 2>my life where I'm like, well, you told people on

1:17:21.600 --> 1:17:23.200
<v Speaker 2>the internet you should to do this, when you fucking

1:17:23.280 --> 1:17:27.360
<v Speaker 2>do it, and I'm like, ah, fuck, I'm therapy geckoing

1:17:27.439 --> 1:17:33.800
<v Speaker 2>myself because I have tenants like that. The whole, the whole,

1:17:33.880 --> 1:17:41.200
<v Speaker 2>That whole call was about having a little inkling of

1:17:41.320 --> 1:17:43.120
<v Speaker 2>a general idea of what you want to do with

1:17:43.200 --> 1:17:45.120
<v Speaker 2>your time alive and then trying to figure out how

1:17:45.160 --> 1:17:49.040
<v Speaker 2>to do it, which is what I hope Joey does.

1:17:50.960 --> 1:17:52.280
<v Speaker 2>I think mine is that I just want to do

1:17:52.479 --> 1:17:57.639
<v Speaker 2>something interesting. I just want to be doing something interesting.

1:17:57.640 --> 1:18:00.640
<v Speaker 2>I think there's something interesting about talking to strangers on

1:18:00.880 --> 1:18:03.120
<v Speaker 2>the phone about their lives, and so I do that,

1:18:04.240 --> 1:18:05.599
<v Speaker 2>and if I ever can't do that, I will think

1:18:05.640 --> 1:18:08.120
<v Speaker 2>of something else interesting to do. It's always good to

1:18:08.160 --> 1:18:12.240
<v Speaker 2>have some sort of general, vague tenant. That is just

1:18:12.360 --> 1:18:18.080
<v Speaker 2>a floaty idea more so than a specific I want

1:18:18.120 --> 1:18:21.719
<v Speaker 2>to go to Berlin and be a be a crab fisherman,

1:18:22.560 --> 1:18:25.160
<v Speaker 2>because then when you're banned from Berlin and you find

1:18:25.200 --> 1:18:28.439
<v Speaker 2>out you're allergic to crabs, you're fucked. But if you're

1:18:28.479 --> 1:18:32.360
<v Speaker 2>just like I'm going to do interesting things, then you

1:18:32.439 --> 1:18:36.240
<v Speaker 2>know there's infinite ways to fulfill that. Good luck to Joey,

1:18:36.880 --> 1:18:39.280
<v Speaker 2>sweet boy. Sorry the chat was being mean to him.

1:18:40.960 --> 1:18:42.040
<v Speaker 2>Hope they don't do that again.

1:18:43.640 --> 1:18:47.760
<v Speaker 4>Everythink goes on the line, making your phone calls every night.

1:18:48.200 --> 1:18:50.920
<v Speaker 2>Everythingcon goes to it and ride you're teaching.

1:18:50.760 --> 1:18:52.240
<v Speaker 1>Your cloud on the meaning of your life.

1:18:52.680 --> 1:18:54.840
<v Speaker 2>That he's not really an expert.