Speaker 1: I guess what decision we're about to make a horrible decisions. Hell,
Speaker 1: how how happy hollidays? That welcome? It is not welcome
Speaker 1: to another episode, guys of horrible decisions. We are almost
Speaker 1: at the end of the motherfucking year. Goddamn, what's gonna happen? Nate,
Speaker 1: there gonna be like another wildfire? I forgot about that.
Speaker 1: Did you watch Death on Netflix? And it like reminds
Speaker 1: you of all the fucking crazy ship that happened in
Speaker 1: I wonder if they're going to do that to me.
Speaker 1: This year was was just one of those years like
Speaker 1: it was just I don't know. I'm ready for. All
Speaker 1: I keep saying is I'm ready for this year to
Speaker 1: be over. I'm just ready for to be I had
Speaker 1: a great year work wise, but not sex wise. Like
Speaker 1: pussy Broke, I got depressed. I gain weight because I
Speaker 1: was depressed. But it's all right because I'm gonna suck
Speaker 1: it out. And once I suck it out, you really
Speaker 1: committed to this slipo? Am I committed to this slipo
Speaker 1: Oh guys, announcement. My Christmas present for myself is LiPo section.
Speaker 1: And let me just say that real quick. Everybody that
Speaker 1: tells me just work out gets me really upset because
Speaker 1: for one, bitch, I do. For two, even if I didn't,
Speaker 1: I feel like getting sucking LiPo, you know what I'm saying,
Speaker 1: Like I feel like when you're telling about just our goal,
Speaker 1: when I tell you, the tables be turning like crazy
Speaker 1: on this fucking show ed. And I remember before I
Speaker 1: got my weight loss surgery, like that was the thing,
Speaker 1: especially when you were hardcore working out. You saw away
Speaker 1: just let me just work out, And I'm like, but
Speaker 1: it's not the same, It's really not yet. But I
Speaker 1: was worried about your surgery because of the complications. There's
Speaker 1: complications with every surgery I know. But I do know
Speaker 1: someone that had gotten the sleeve, and I was scared.
Speaker 1: Like the person that I know that got it has
Speaker 1: so many fucked up issues light bo, I'm not really
Speaker 1: scared of And I know you tried it, but like
Speaker 1: what you did change your life. But I was really
Speaker 1: just scared because like she'd be having issues with the
Speaker 1: what's the dumping thing? Can you talk about what was it?
Speaker 1: Dumping syndrome? But that happens in the beginning. It's like
Speaker 1: I mean to me, imagine like Thanksgiving when you like
Speaker 1: eat and you're like you just feel awful. So when
Speaker 1: you get the gas stric your stomach is much smaller.
Speaker 1: So literally like the amount of nausea, nausea, nausea, there
Speaker 1: we go, the amount of like nausea and just how
Speaker 1: you feel like it's literally one of the worst feelings.
Speaker 1: And so like early on into getting gas stric like
Speaker 1: you literally can eat two bites and be full, and
Speaker 1: if you overeat immediately, you just feel like shit. It's
Speaker 1: just a big like lifestyle check. That's why they make
Speaker 1: you do you know, like, um, what is the psychiatric
Speaker 1: evaluation ship like that, because it's like a really big deal.
Speaker 1: And not only that, like it's frustrating when we would
Speaker 1: go eat for not for me, but for her because
Speaker 1: she was just like, oh my god, like my social
Speaker 1: habits have changed then the acid reflecting with her throat
Speaker 1: now thyroid issues, so like it was just scary for
Speaker 1: me to like watch somebody go through that. But I
Speaker 1: know with light Bo they'd be just saying, like, just
Speaker 1: shape your ship because that's what I want. But I
Speaker 1: know it's yeah, that's how That's how Kanye Mama died
Speaker 1: right like, and I know, like another Instagram model just
Speaker 1: did to me any type of surgery of course, but
Speaker 1: um with the with the light bo I'm getting, I'm
Speaker 1: just getting my stomach um. And I found a lot
Speaker 1: of people were like, because you were like, just gonna
Speaker 1: BBL but I don't want to do it because of
Speaker 1: that artery. Like a lot of women died from getting
Speaker 1: their butt done, And I understand why waste that too,
Speaker 1: but fat when you can just put it in your ass,
Speaker 1: sounds like a great plan. But apparently the fucking artery
Speaker 1: by your ask like it could really like, it's one
Speaker 1: of the most complicated surgeries. It's got the most rampant
Speaker 1: deaths from bbls, I think in Miami. I was reading
Speaker 1: this one place. U there's a porn star I really
Speaker 1: like who got um light bo there? And I wrote
Speaker 1: her on Twitter CG Cosmetics. Nine people died like within
Speaker 1: a year. That's how risky that BBL surgery was. But
Speaker 1: apparently the number, the ratio wasn't that bad because they
Speaker 1: do that many bbls. So anyway, I just get to me,
Speaker 1: has always been a thing, yeah or was it? Just
Speaker 1: like I feel like I've only known about them for
Speaker 1: a few years. I feel like I just over a
Speaker 1: decade now. Yeah, back when I was like, I knew
Speaker 1: about silicon, but it was probably like also the girls
Speaker 1: I was hanging around, you know what I mean. And
Speaker 1: also I didn't understand the skinny BBO. I wish I
Speaker 1: had my Instagram. What is no, Butrea's body is real. No,
Speaker 1: it's not that I don't believe that. Okay, you don't
Speaker 1: have to believe it. It's not. Julia talks about this
Speaker 1: all the time, her asses consistent and mad pictures. I
Speaker 1: just refused to believe that you can't have a beauty,
Speaker 1: beautiful body like Drea has and b baby l my
Speaker 1: homegirl doesn't have a BBL. Shout out to Kaitlin Nicole.
Speaker 1: She's a fitness buff like Drea, and I followed Dre
Speaker 1: and she's like crazy, that busy working out two three
Speaker 1: times a day. And I think, like, like, the skinny
Speaker 1: BBL looks so natural that you wouldn't know, because I
Speaker 1: know what you're talking about, that shape, the app etching. Damn.
Speaker 1: I wish I could find this doctor's name. But there's
Speaker 1: an Asian dude in Houston. He does all the skinny bbls.
Speaker 1: And once I found that out, I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: I'm getting a fitness page. I'm gonna stuck it out
Speaker 1: and I'm gonna teach you how to keep it up.
Speaker 1: Have y'all ever actually considered being like a fitness influencer?
Speaker 1: I don't, nigga, do you know what the fun you
Speaker 1: talking to me? I don't know. I did when I
Speaker 1: was going to spend class a lot, but then I
Speaker 1: was like, no, I guess I talked about drug use
Speaker 1: and alcoholics. He right, It doesn't like match the upkeep.
Speaker 1: Maybe maybe it could be like a Brianda, you know
Speaker 1: how she's like a Christian but she's like fun. Maybe
Speaker 1: I could be a fitness influer, but I'm like, misses
Speaker 1: something have you done that? Are there any popular fitness
Speaker 1: influencers that aren't like crazy skinny, because that's the kind
Speaker 1: of page I want it. You know what I'm saying? Like,
Speaker 1: I'm I mean my uh, I have my friend Ali,
Speaker 1: She's beautiful, Like do you know what I'm talking about?
Speaker 1: Handle miss Alissa sort of? I love like every regular
Speaker 1: looking person that's fit, miss miss dot alyssa sort of.
Speaker 1: And then key to girl, let me get the uh
Speaker 1: numb key to girl nine to one. That's this is
Speaker 1: actually her outfit that I'm wearing. Her body is like
Speaker 1: just fucking beautiful. We said normal people, bro, these are
Speaker 1: normal people, and she did you not a crazy fit body?
Speaker 1: Like yes, look at her. Look how thick she is.
Speaker 1: Her ass is beautiful. Okay, Maddy, let me tell you
Speaker 1: what I'm talking about. Hold on, theseus are beautiful bodies. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but that work out like you don't. I'm saying, like
Speaker 1: someone that's not flat stomach, that's healthy and working out,
Speaker 1: because I believe that that's a thing. There's a girl
Speaker 1: I'd be seeing on the Peloton ship that I do
Speaker 1: all the time. She's like in her look she's not
Speaker 1: like super thin, but that's the ship. I feel like
Speaker 1: she looked good. She looked too good. She looks great.
Speaker 1: It's not that's not normal. She had a baby. She
Speaker 1: just had a baby. You see. I can't look at
Speaker 1: that on Instagram. I'm like, oh, I'll never get there.
Speaker 1: You can't be that good looking and tell me you
Speaker 1: a fitness now, I mean normal looking people. Mandy to me,
Speaker 1: she's to me, she's thick and just proportioned. I like
Speaker 1: that in proportions. I like it. Well, speaking of proportion,
Speaker 1: I'm about to get crazy ratio and I can't wait.
Speaker 1: And I was like, okay, so when I get fatty,
Speaker 1: and if I get fatty, and where's the fat gonna go?
Speaker 1: He's like, well, you might get fat in the stomach,
Speaker 1: but it probably won't happen because the fat deposits change.
Speaker 1: He's like, so it would probably go to your bottom
Speaker 1: half or wherever you normally gain weight. And as you
Speaker 1: can see, my legs have been getting thicker, which is
Speaker 1: the one good thing about me getting fat. And I'm
Speaker 1: really excited to say I won't need a VVL because
Speaker 1: I'm just hoping it's just gonna look so skinny. They're
Speaker 1: gonna be like, damn, where you gotta ask from, And
Speaker 1: I'll be like, doctor craft, That's what I'm really hoping for.
Speaker 1: But also I bring up the working out thing because medication, like,
Speaker 1: that's how I gain weight. I didn't gain weight because
Speaker 1: I was eating from depression. I gained weight from the
Speaker 1: actual medication. So you know, no, I didn't kill myself.
Speaker 1: But at the same time, I was like, well, bitch,
Speaker 1: I think a lot of people do forget about the
Speaker 1: side effects of pills like that. Oh yeah, absolutely, but
Speaker 1: there's that's me up in hair weight gain. What is it,
Speaker 1: uh like you have like a like a low sexual
Speaker 1: drive is for some of them it imbalances your hormones,
Speaker 1: like it's hard to come. What was really kind of
Speaker 1: sad and I had to talk to the old Bay
Speaker 1: about it, is I wasn't able to come from sex
Speaker 1: because like I know he's and still I'm having trouble.
Speaker 1: And obviously I've been like sucking this person for so
Speaker 1: many years. It's not like I can't get there right,
Speaker 1: but the the goal of orgasm is so intense in
Speaker 1: my brain. And I also know that he knows it's
Speaker 1: hard for me to get to because of medication, so
Speaker 1: he's probably thinking about it that I'm thinking about it.
Speaker 1: So it makes me anxious and I feel guilty because
Speaker 1: masturbation is the only patience I have with myself. You know,
Speaker 1: I feel bad to say you might have to suck
Speaker 1: me for forty five minutes when I used to come
Speaker 1: in five. So like sometimes if I want to come,
Speaker 1: I just masturbate now, which is something that I don't
Speaker 1: know if anybody else is going through. But I feel
Speaker 1: super guilty because you just want to have sex with
Speaker 1: yourself and a lot of people will talk about that.
Speaker 1: You know, you may feel insulted if you find out
Speaker 1: your partners masturbating but they're not sucking you. But I
Speaker 1: can't explain it. It's just something that makes me feel
Speaker 1: less pressure right now and it works, so I don't know.
Speaker 1: But anyway, once I stuck it out and I started
Speaker 1: looking at myself and to me, I'll be like, many,
Speaker 1: do you think it's gonna be an immediate confidence boost? Um?
Speaker 1: I get honestly, more than its confidence. I'm so frustrated
Speaker 1: that I'm not able to get back to what I
Speaker 1: used to look like, Like I don't feel like I'm
Speaker 1: my mood is down about it more than I'm fucking frustrated,
Speaker 1: Like you know what I'm saying, Like I know I
Speaker 1: used to look like this, and I know I'm it's
Speaker 1: not because of my own habits. That's what drives me crazy.
Speaker 1: But um, maybe it'll give me some confidence, but I
Speaker 1: think with sex it will help. Like I don't actively
Speaker 1: think that I'm looking different when I'm sucking, but I
Speaker 1: feel like if my body changes, it might make me
Speaker 1: want to suck more. I don't know if that makes sense,
Speaker 1: because I feel like I still have face that really
Speaker 1: saves me. Yeah, Like you know what I'm saying, Like
Speaker 1: when you're not like feeling your best about your body,
Speaker 1: I'm like, well, I'm still key. That's what I really
Speaker 1: be feeling. Like thanks for taking a pick in this moment.
Speaker 1: Have you ever felt like that? Like, m maybe now
Speaker 1: not been a long time. It's just really weird because
Speaker 1: um oh, with the holidays and being single again, I
Speaker 1: still only want to be with the person that I've
Speaker 1: been with for the last year and a half. So
Speaker 1: normally around the holidays, like even all my old hose
Speaker 1: they're with their families duh. Like so I'm not really
Speaker 1: having the opportunity to backtrack. And then with all the touring,
Speaker 1: I don't have time to date. So I by myself
Speaker 1: just wanting to still be with him, um because I
Speaker 1: still have like a crazy sex drive. That's so I
Speaker 1: want to have sex. Um and so no, I mean
Speaker 1: outside of that, I'm just really trying to like I
Speaker 1: want to have sex with other people because I don't.
Speaker 1: I don't. Um, I hate that feelings. I'm I'm I
Speaker 1: mean in d C, like I met like this little
Speaker 1: pretty girl, I realized, like I want to be with
Speaker 1: women more right now, um, but it's weird because I like,
Speaker 1: I have just like phases with them, like I'll be like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, she's so cute. I want to bring
Speaker 1: it to New York. I wanted to stay with me
Speaker 1: for the weekend. This happened even when I was in Orlando,
Speaker 1: that this other girl made out with her all night,
Speaker 1: and then when I got to New York, I was like, Okay,
Speaker 1: I don't want anyone in my space. So I don't know,
Speaker 1: I don't know. I'm I'm having this weird like thing
Speaker 1: right now sexually, like I want to be with women,
Speaker 1: but I just want to be with my ex. So
Speaker 1: I wonder if you only want to be with women
Speaker 1: because you feel like you'd compare a man to him,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, Like you do have to
Speaker 1: not like you would, but your body might. Well it's
Speaker 1: also crazy because sex with him over the last year
Speaker 1: and a half has been like the most life changing,
Speaker 1: That's what I'm saying. It's not really I wouldn't compare
Speaker 1: it yet, Like I mean from his body to the
Speaker 1: way like after sex, like the aftercare he gives me,
Speaker 1: he stretches me, he massages me. It's like just so intimate.
Speaker 1: I just I have no desire to have sex with
Speaker 1: other people, which sucks. Yeah, because like are like like
Speaker 1: my old holes are ready to like, Oh, well, you know,
Speaker 1: I can meet you here. I can meet you there,
Speaker 1: like Nigga. Christmas coming up, so a bit do want
Speaker 1: some gifts. But I'm still just like, but do we
Speaker 1: have to fun? Like I know, like you're my old
Speaker 1: home and i know we used to have sex, but
Speaker 1: I'm really not in the mood to have sex with
Speaker 1: like anyone else. Tell me if I'm crossing the boundary.
Speaker 1: But have you spoken to him? Oh? We speak every day? Yeah,
Speaker 1: we uh, we speak every day, but we're like not
Speaker 1: together and that's emphasized Like I am trying to date. Uh.
Speaker 1: I talked about it with Wheezy on a Patreon episode.
Speaker 1: I just don't have the time, Like there's no time
Speaker 1: to date. Like I met this fine asked motherfucker and
Speaker 1: literally because we met online. He lives in New York
Speaker 1: as well. I said, you got two weeks to see me.
Speaker 1: If we don't see each other, then I'm good on
Speaker 1: you two weeks. If we love in the same city,
Speaker 1: there's no reason, right, No, A bitch had a show.
Speaker 1: I had a recording every day. Then I went out
Speaker 1: of town to Vegas. Then I went out of Sound
Speaker 1: a d C. Then I went out of sound to
Speaker 1: l A for a week, and I'm like, damn, I
Speaker 1: don't have time to see you. And he works at
Speaker 1: nine to five, so like during the week it's different
Speaker 1: from him. I'm just like, fuck, and I don't want
Speaker 1: to date to Creative. I don't want to date anyone
Speaker 1: in the space. I don't. Yeah, I don't want to
Speaker 1: date to creative. But I'm like, damn, maybe maybe I
Speaker 1: do need I'm telling you no, No, I feel like
Speaker 1: maybe I do need to like find out what the
Speaker 1: whole niggas hang out, Like I feel like I need
Speaker 1: a nigotus was hired that has nothing to do be
Speaker 1: available when I need him to be about creatives that
Speaker 1: I dated one, you know in l A. And there
Speaker 1: was something about it that I really liked because he
Speaker 1: didn't really seem disappointed at anything, like if I had
Speaker 1: to cancel on something or if my time frame or
Speaker 1: taking calls, like he just gets it. And also I
Speaker 1: didn't have to go through the motion of oh, like yes,
Speaker 1: you're about to see this crazy clip on in Stagram,
Speaker 1: whereas like I feel like I feel like someone who
Speaker 1: isn't um in the industry so to speak, might feel
Speaker 1: a little insecure about that. And I'm also projecting from
Speaker 1: past partners because Old Bay is great with it. He
Speaker 1: don't give a fuck, you know what I'm saying, And
Speaker 1: he works in tech. But I do find that people
Speaker 1: that are creative just start easier to move with, move
Speaker 1: along with. Also moreover, it's funny because I feel like
Speaker 1: industry or creatives, they don't really give a fuck if
Speaker 1: I'm a hoe in their head or not if their
Speaker 1: friends think I'm a hoe. They don't care what anyone's
Speaker 1: gonna like, you know, pick up on Instagram or like
Speaker 1: circle around in their group chat, like, they don't give
Speaker 1: a funk. They understand. Like a lot of this is
Speaker 1: performance that you're doing that you have to you know,
Speaker 1: be a personality, be open, be fun, do the flirty ship,
Speaker 1: and you know, be sexy on Instagram Like that is
Speaker 1: a lot of our brands. You know what I'm saying that,
Speaker 1: have you guys ever dated someone who was almost like
Speaker 1: competitive towards you because of what you guys do? No,
Speaker 1: Like my X hits all of this. He he's private,
Speaker 1: so he like, and I think that when we first
Speaker 1: started talking again, it was the pandemic, so he didn't
Speaker 1: realize the reach I had. And then when he started
Speaker 1: like bringing me up to friends and things like that,
Speaker 1: he's like, oh, so people I know like listen to
Speaker 1: your show and now they know about everything, like me
Speaker 1: sharing a lot of our intimate moments. And yeah, because
Speaker 1: like now he's like like the way he carries himself,
Speaker 1: he's just very statuesque to himself, private, and like now
Speaker 1: his friends know like the sex clubs and what we
Speaker 1: do on our spirit time. And I think that was
Speaker 1: just a lot for people that he knows from work
Speaker 1: and from just like for years not knowing what he
Speaker 1: does in the bedroom. So like we've had a lot
Speaker 1: of talks about that. Do you ask for consent about it? Um?
Speaker 1: Yes and no, Like it wasn't a problem until it
Speaker 1: was a problem, and then I was like, well, nig,
Speaker 1: just so you know, we prerecorded still for the next
Speaker 1: month and a half. It's already recorded, you know, it's already.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna share this because it's making me think of
Speaker 1: something and I wasn't going to talk about it. But
Speaker 1: someone I dated is dating someone new and I had.
Speaker 1: At first, I thought it was her, but I don't
Speaker 1: think it is anymore. I got a page that tagged
Speaker 1: her and I both on Twitter, sending me an article
Speaker 1: that this person wrote. And in the article they talked
Speaker 1: about their partner who was the partner that I used
Speaker 1: to date, and how I was sharing intimate details of
Speaker 1: our sex life and they weren't happy about it. And
Speaker 1: it was the new girlfriend was not happy. I don't know,
Speaker 1: like she wrote an article about this. Oh got you sorry?
Speaker 1: I wasn't making that clear and when um. The only
Speaker 1: reason I read it is because that person tagged me
Speaker 1: in it, and they were like, oh, she's calling you out.
Speaker 1: I don't a lot. It's not so. I thought it
Speaker 1: was gonna be like bar for bar, but it wasn't.
Speaker 1: It was vague and it may not have been about me. However,
Speaker 1: there was something very specific they let me know. As
Speaker 1: me said, this person is sharing intimate sex details about
Speaker 1: our life and they're making content on the profit from
Speaker 1: the platform and basically saying that their partner expressed to
Speaker 1: her that he didn't like that. This to me was
Speaker 1: very insulting to read, especially because obviously consent is our
Speaker 1: fucking ship. You know what I'm saying. There's niggase that fun.
Speaker 1: I've never talked about a horrible can't talk about on
Speaker 1: horrible because they're like, it doesn't matter if you don't
Speaker 1: say my name, like please don't. It makes me uncomfortable.
Speaker 1: This person that she's talking about was not only someone
Speaker 1: that I was consenting with discussing with, would share the
Speaker 1: episode with his friends, would tell people their name, would
Speaker 1: like be excited about it, laughed about it with me,
Speaker 1: like never once ever told me that they weren't happy
Speaker 1: about it. I asked if I could share these details,
Speaker 1: and so I think, what's happening and what can happen
Speaker 1: and just making me think about what you just said
Speaker 1: is people change their mind or can act like they
Speaker 1: change their mind depending on the partner, because it ain't
Speaker 1: him what he thought of me. You're dating someone knew
Speaker 1: who might have been like, wow, you were dating a
Speaker 1: sex podcaster, So now you're probably telling this bitch, Yeah,
Speaker 1: she just go up there and talk about this stuff,
Speaker 1: and like that's the only thing I could think because
Speaker 1: I had never fucking did that. I was really like
Speaker 1: upset when I read it, because to me, to make
Speaker 1: someone feel violated it is not what I want to do,
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. And to know that like
Speaker 1: you expressed it to someone in that way, I'm like,
Speaker 1: either you were performing for this bitch, trying to make
Speaker 1: yourself seem like something like I don't know, but it
Speaker 1: wasn't what I did. And I think the reason that
Speaker 1: happens is because afterwards, when dating someone in the public eye,
Speaker 1: you're sitting there probably thinking about what you let happen
Speaker 1: because maybe you were in love. I mean, but not
Speaker 1: only that, it's it's to the point where it's like,
Speaker 1: and I know you've said this when you were also
Speaker 1: reach it's like when we're out, people come up to
Speaker 1: him and now act like they know who he is.
Speaker 1: And so when that when the people leave us, he's like,
Speaker 1: what does that person know about me? Because he knows
Speaker 1: I'm on this show weekly and we talk and so
Speaker 1: it's more so like now there's strangers that think that
Speaker 1: they know who he is, and so that's you know,
Speaker 1: that's another part of it. But um, it's weird because
Speaker 1: like when we talk about let's say, like the Brittany
Speaker 1: Runners or the Superheads, the girls that made books about
Speaker 1: all these people, I know that you know a part
Speaker 1: of you know, our our idea that or even when
Speaker 1: like rappers come out and say that they fucked with
Speaker 1: certain girls, one of our quick responses were like, well,
Speaker 1: what if that other person didn't want to know, didn't
Speaker 1: want everyone to know about this. I think that I
Speaker 1: recently had the conversation because Drake did that with Sayssa,
Speaker 1: and it's just like, what did he do? Like pretty
Speaker 1: much mentioned that they used to funk with each other?
Speaker 1: How what do you say? I don't know the exactly
Speaker 1: I used to funk with Sayssa back in Oh Wait
Speaker 1: or something like that, And it was just like, what
Speaker 1: if Silia didn't want anyone to know that she used
Speaker 1: to funk with Drake? Yeah, like it's in one of
Speaker 1: his lyrics what fun and right? And so I know
Speaker 1: he's done that with Black China. There's a lot of
Speaker 1: there's a lot of times, and so it does make
Speaker 1: me think like, damn, that's right. I'd sit here and
Speaker 1: wouldn't want someone to to go out and say that
Speaker 1: they've sucked with me without me saying it's okay. First.
Speaker 1: I think why I was really insulted in by ralists
Speaker 1: is because that person implied that people were like coming
Speaker 1: up to them and work and saying things, and I
Speaker 1: was like, Nick, first of all, I don't let me
Speaker 1: look what you looked like, so cut it out. I
Speaker 1: feel like sometimes they just be dragging it. It's different
Speaker 1: with you and him, becausey'all were together in a lot
Speaker 1: of places where that happened. That did not happen with
Speaker 1: him and I. And I think he really was putting
Speaker 1: off for that girl. And if anyone I've ever dated
Speaker 1: has the notion to say that, it's scissors. She and
Speaker 1: I were face to face. She's been on an episode like,
Speaker 1: I mean, she is out there her face our mom's
Speaker 1: are my mama? Just god? I mean that. I was
Speaker 1: to say, bitch, I might have to get a new
Speaker 1: motherfucking She said, you're gonna pay for my makeover? I said, mom,
Speaker 1: what are you talking about? She said, why did someone
Speaker 1: just come up to me while I was pumping my
Speaker 1: gas and said, oh my god, you're Mandy's why she
Speaker 1: said she got She's like, bitch, I ain't a celebrity.
Speaker 1: I don't need to be known out here. She's like,
Speaker 1: not me being known as Mandy's MoMA while I'm pumping
Speaker 1: my gas. And so she's just like, oh, yeah, you're
Speaker 1: gonna have to get me a motherfucking makeover, because that's
Speaker 1: different because your mom is on your Instagram and obviously
Speaker 1: they came on the show, and our mom's are fun.
Speaker 1: But I'm talking about as far as partners with faces,
Speaker 1: like I just really be surprised that Nick is really
Speaker 1: act like they meant that much to me, and like
Speaker 1: I had a whole last bit like are you serious
Speaker 1: not saying like I wasn't on his dick too because
Speaker 1: it was good, but like, yeah, it just really makes
Speaker 1: me think. And also what I did with Scissors, I
Speaker 1: grew as the relationship group, so even she wasn't ready
Speaker 1: for that, right, Like we got back together and Horrible
Speaker 1: Decisions was one live showing. By the time we were
Speaker 1: like really really in it in it, it was like, oh,
Speaker 1: like it's city to city you got you gotta come
Speaker 1: to and now you know your girlfriend is We did
Speaker 1: a vice live. I remember that and she was like,
Speaker 1: oh ship, like people from back home we're watching this
Speaker 1: and I don't know. I'm trying to wonder like if
Speaker 1: I got married or five kids, didn't know what I do?
Speaker 1: What are your Since we're like wrapping up the year.
Speaker 1: What are your relationship goals? Are there things that happened
Speaker 1: this year that you would want to change? Are you
Speaker 1: going into hoping something happens with your relationships? Like do
Speaker 1: you have any any thoughts of that war y'all keeping well?
Speaker 1: I mean like, I mean, like I've been with the
Speaker 1: same person nineteen Um right yeah right, because no, no, no,
Speaker 1: you might have been in the pandemic that that's true.
Speaker 1: That is and it's about too. I've had the same
Speaker 1: person since Um, he'll probably still be around probably. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it depends. That's the key word. It depends. I mean
Speaker 1: it's on me. Like I'm very adamant with Like I'm
Speaker 1: letting him know. I'm testing the waters with other people
Speaker 1: if someone else shows up and I find interest in them,
Speaker 1: Like I'm gonna really walk about two can play that game?
Speaker 1: That's the waters? What the hell that's the water? People like, oh,
Speaker 1: he got man when he was liked in the friend zone.
Speaker 1: That is disrespectful putting me in the friend Yeah, like
Speaker 1: I'm not happy where not when you like old They
Speaker 1: tried to call himself yeah man about l A Bay
Speaker 1: And I was like, first of all, niggie, did you
Speaker 1: not like it? Call you back. Yeah, but yeah, I
Speaker 1: mean you'll be here probably. I mean, ope stays let
Speaker 1: me see l A. Bay's out, which is sad because
Speaker 1: you haven't talked about him in once. Oh yeah, he
Speaker 1: like really did something to kiss me off, And I
Speaker 1: don't want to talk about it obviously because like you know,
Speaker 1: I feel like I can't. I think we'd have to
Speaker 1: get to that point. But I'm piste off at him. Um.
Speaker 1: And also I think what makes me more angry about
Speaker 1: that too, is like I hate when someone does something
Speaker 1: that's disrespectful, um, even if they don't realize it, but
Speaker 1: you got to really cut him off because you can't
Speaker 1: let somebody do you like that twice, you know what
Speaker 1: I'm saying, Like, if i'd let you stick around, like
Speaker 1: then I'm the bish and lets you stick around after
Speaker 1: doing that. So I can't, which is disappointing because he
Speaker 1: was great. But um, you know, I do miss Scissors
Speaker 1: a lot, Like it has been like ramping up, like
Speaker 1: really intensely. But she's married, she just had a baby,
Speaker 1: but she got a partner though, right, yeah, you get whatever.
Speaker 1: All I'm saying no to being disrespectful to the relationship.
Speaker 1: He just had a whole. But she has a family
Speaker 1: now and she's like, I don't give a funk about
Speaker 1: that out her niggas, Why was I fucking? I was
Speaker 1: like on the phone with her own as we were
Speaker 1: on the phone and FaceTime talking, this is why the
Speaker 1: boyfriend did not want you with the baby shower girl.
Speaker 1: This is why shared it on the show. Is it?
Speaker 1: You ain't going to bring it up nothing. What I'm saying,
Speaker 1: I'm just saying, see what I'm trying to bea and
Speaker 1: I just feel like he's chumping at my throne. No,
Speaker 1: this is why the nigga don't want you around because
Speaker 1: you could slide back in there and it's just different
Speaker 1: with a woman. But you know what it is too,
Speaker 1: So this is what I'm gonna say. Um. When I
Speaker 1: was on the phone with Sharonas and I started telling
Speaker 1: him this, He's just like I was like, I don't
Speaker 1: know how to feel. I missed her and like dad,
Speaker 1: he was like, nigga, like why do you keep doing
Speaker 1: this to yourself? Because he for me, all I do
Speaker 1: is like I talked to her all the time. We
Speaker 1: talked all the time, but it's it's not easy for me.
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying because she feels like talking
Speaker 1: catching up as good. She's got a baby, she's at home,
Speaker 1: she wants to talk, she's happy in her relationship. It
Speaker 1: but you know she's my I'm her friend and I
Speaker 1: know I'm her friend because when she's frustrated and like
Speaker 1: just like feeling down or whatever, and we talked like
Speaker 1: I feel really good that I could pick her back. Ready, Yeah,
Speaker 1: we are not gonna sunk out like I'm here. I'm
Speaker 1: here at that Nigga's true. I do not bad because
Speaker 1: I'm being there for her because I know that that's
Speaker 1: the right thing to do. But also like she don't
Speaker 1: when the up, I'm here the emotional strain on me
Speaker 1: just like you see what I'm the selfishness of it all,
Speaker 1: just a child? Are you ready to take care of that?
Speaker 1: I'll tell you what we're trying to talk about, right
Speaker 1: Because he was like what the funk? Bro? Like did
Speaker 1: you I could have had kids, but you didn't have
Speaker 1: kids as you chose your careers and like why are
Speaker 1: you acting like this? And I was like, may just
Speaker 1: hear me out. You take care of your baby, but together,
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying, Like, wait, what bro? Trifling?
Speaker 1: I just wanted to talk to someone that co parent
Speaker 1: in different states. She's not trying to cope it. She
Speaker 1: is happy. But I'm saying, not you to co parent
Speaker 1: with this woman who is happy in her relationship. Girl,
Speaker 1: we're gonna be together before we die. I think so,
Speaker 1: the baby gonna be And this is you know what,
Speaker 1: the boyfriend got every right to not want you around
Speaker 1: his bitch at all. I don't want them to break up.
Speaker 1: I want her to be happy. I'm just saying she's
Speaker 1: not happy. You know what I mean. I know I
Speaker 1: said I want her to be happy. I don't want
Speaker 1: them to break up. I'm just saying, I have no
Speaker 1: faith in niggas said about her man. This is about
Speaker 1: the male species. Okay. So what I'm saying is if
Speaker 1: not you hurt, so you so you can pick up
Speaker 1: her hurt. I don't want to be hurt. I'm just
Speaker 1: saying if look anyway, bro, all I'm saying is we're
Speaker 1: gonna be together at some point. I really believe it.
Speaker 1: And if I got to be a baby, mama side
Speaker 1: and the baby, you know saying we gotta be mommy.
Speaker 1: Never two what lesbians, dude, Mama and mommy y'all telling
Speaker 1: me I never had a chick break your heart. That's
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. Bro bitches to be breaking hearts too, okay,
Speaker 1: But but like so, if we had to be, if
Speaker 1: you had to guess, I know a lot of lesbians
Speaker 1: that have been heartbroken. I know a lot of women
Speaker 1: who have broken the hearts of men. Like So, to me,
Speaker 1: a woman being with a woman doesn't mean she's not
Speaker 1: going to be subjected to as much hurt as a
Speaker 1: nigga would put on you. You look like you Because
Speaker 1: I have a penis doesn't mean I break hearts. I
Speaker 1: didn't break her. I loved her very much and I
Speaker 1: was a good girlfriend. We didn't work out because we
Speaker 1: both want a different thing. We did not break up
Speaker 1: because you know what I'm saying, I was a fucking
Speaker 1: cheater and so was she or some ship. No, Louis
Speaker 1: broke up because like I just couldn't give her what
Speaker 1: she wanted in that regard. But now she has it,
Speaker 1: which is great, so let us so let her how
Speaker 1: you you can't have it. I'm just saying, if whatever happens, like,
Speaker 1: do you see yourself being with a woman again. And
Speaker 1: by the way, we are like I don't know how
Speaker 1: far into this episode. Clearly there's no outline today at
Speaker 1: this point because I ain't gonna rush through my good
Speaker 1: ass outline. I'm gonna say this ship of patriarch, bitch,
Speaker 1: I'm not just gonna run through it, because it was
Speaker 1: really good ship. I mean, we have to do Patreon
Speaker 1: episodes anyways, like near the holiday, so I'll save this,
Speaker 1: but I like, do whatever little ship you had. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm not. I'm not gonna just run through this motherfu outline. Bitch.
Speaker 1: It's like me a long time looking at her phone
Speaker 1: and I was like, I'm waiting. Oh yeah, no, I've
Speaker 1: been trying, and that already like forty minutes into the episode.
Speaker 1: What do I miss about her? Oh? Well, but not
Speaker 1: only that outside of her, is it also just missing
Speaker 1: being with a woman. I feel like even the threesomes
Speaker 1: seemed to slow down this year. So do you think
Speaker 1: that it's also potentially you just really missing being with
Speaker 1: a woman. I don't. I don't miss having three sims
Speaker 1: with her, miss her, but I think also like like
Speaker 1: sucking her being with her, but you know what, like
Speaker 1: and and it sucked me up. I felt really guilty.
Speaker 1: I was flying from l A. And I don't know
Speaker 1: if it was a song that came on or what happened,
Speaker 1: is something just triggered me, and I just started imagining
Speaker 1: my life with her, like thinking about her being in
Speaker 1: l A with me, like thinking about like if you
Speaker 1: know how I would maneuver this because her life is different, right,
Speaker 1: And I was like, okay, well I got two places
Speaker 1: I live now, like she got a family in Cali,
Speaker 1: Like maybe she would just live here and I could.
Speaker 1: You know, to me, the goal at the end of
Speaker 1: the day is like I want to make sure I
Speaker 1: have enough money to provide for my family. I don't
Speaker 1: think about my partner. And I'm not saying like she
Speaker 1: don't have nothing or old, but they don't have ship.
Speaker 1: That's just how my brain works. I talked about that
Speaker 1: all the time. I want to have a kid, you know,
Speaker 1: I want to take care I take care of my parents,
Speaker 1: Like that's the life I want. So when I think
Speaker 1: about her now that she comes with a kid, that's
Speaker 1: what I think about him, like, oh I could do this.
Speaker 1: I couldn't really do it before, but like I could
Speaker 1: do it now. So I just feel like it's more
Speaker 1: feasible for me now. That's why I think I start
Speaker 1: imagining my life with her because I'm like, that's what
Speaker 1: you wanted. Okay, you gotta baby, just come over here.
Speaker 1: It's weird because even if, like even even at thirty one,
Speaker 1: I think that that's my issue, like even with like
Speaker 1: the conversations with my ex, like there's just I don't
Speaker 1: think he knows and I don't think I still know
Speaker 1: how I can truly show up as a partner because
Speaker 1: I like that we that like we travel together, we
Speaker 1: have fun when we're in town. I still cook for himself.
Speaker 1: But I'm still like I don't know if I want
Speaker 1: to live with a partner. I still don't really want marriage,
Speaker 1: and I still don't want kids. So as far as
Speaker 1: like how he would show up as a partner to me,
Speaker 1: that's where we have like because he can't show up
Speaker 1: as a provider. I make more than him and the protector.
Speaker 1: He's like I've never been with a woman. Where why
Speaker 1: do you mean he can't provide for you? What do
Speaker 1: you mean? It's was like, I provide for myself. I
Speaker 1: make more than him. Like so even my lifestyle, like
Speaker 1: the things I like to do isn't him. He's a
Speaker 1: lot more regular than I am, as far as like
Speaker 1: the places he likes to eat and so like. So
Speaker 1: because something you think of it like making it like
Speaker 1: for me when I think of riding him, like oh
Speaker 1: could this person like handle our home or something like,
Speaker 1: I think about little things like that. I don't think
Speaker 1: about much shob But no, he's great, like as far
Speaker 1: as like he helped me move, he built everything in
Speaker 1: my house, like he's great in that aspect. But as
Speaker 1: far as like even if we were to move together,
Speaker 1: like he lives in Harlem, I live where I live,
Speaker 1: and I know my rent is a lot more than
Speaker 1: probably what he's used to. So even the idea of
Speaker 1: us living together, I know whatever I want to live
Speaker 1: in is a lot more than what he would probably
Speaker 1: want to live in or can afford. And so I
Speaker 1: mean there's that. And I also see two. Because you
Speaker 1: don't want to take care of it. See the way
Speaker 1: I talk about scissors, I could never do that for
Speaker 1: old bay. Oh I'm not taking care of no nigger,
Speaker 1: but I would definitely like I would never even think
Speaker 1: to take care of like, which is great. And I'm
Speaker 1: glad are we we mesh because like me and him
Speaker 1: moved the same way in life, and that's why I
Speaker 1: think we really connected. But with her I talked like that.
Speaker 1: I don't think I would ever speak that way for
Speaker 1: a man. Yeah, but I also realized too now the
Speaker 1: difference in I remember, like just saying I need my
Speaker 1: man to make six figures, there's a huge difference from
Speaker 1: someone making a hundred thousand and someone making six hundred thousand.
Speaker 1: So even just that gap like okay, yeah, he's probably
Speaker 1: very comfortable, but the gaps within the six figure or deal,
Speaker 1: it's a huge difference. And so that still comes with
Speaker 1: a different lifestyle. Someone making a hundred thousand in New
Speaker 1: York still lives very different than someone making six hundred
Speaker 1: thousand in New York. So I mean, again, just the
Speaker 1: things that I know people seek in wives and long
Speaker 1: term relationships. I don't know if I have answers for that.
Speaker 1: I don't know if I realistically know how to show
Speaker 1: up in that way. Like I still like very much.
Speaker 1: Also really good um when you talk about finances, right,
Speaker 1: because like a lot of times when we would say
Speaker 1: ship like that six figures or this need, this need
Speaker 1: that like I used to legit want to make a
Speaker 1: thousand dollars a week. That used to be okay for me,
Speaker 1: like I just want a thousand dollars a week. I
Speaker 1: used to think that that was the most. Like I
Speaker 1: remember just being happy that there was a comment my
Speaker 1: account for the longest, Like I didn't have that for
Speaker 1: so long. So even when I was in my career
Speaker 1: as an accountant, steady, when it just stayed in there,
Speaker 1: When when I could pay my rent in a comments state,
Speaker 1: I was like, oh my god, I'm good. No, like no.
Speaker 1: And so now like now that I'm in my thirties
Speaker 1: and I'm looking for long term relationship, I've tried for
Speaker 1: the last year something that's non traditional, non monogamous, more
Speaker 1: customized relationship. I'm now just now at thirty one, figuring
Speaker 1: out what my boundaries realistically look like, thinking about what
Speaker 1: I realistically want sexually, like going to the sex club
Speaker 1: every two weeks. That was great, but is it realistic?
Speaker 1: And this is a really fucked up to say, But
Speaker 1: my therapist made me realize what happened to me. You're
Speaker 1: questioning boundaries and things like that, and you're like thinking
Speaker 1: about what you want. My therapist told me that she
Speaker 1: thinks the questions are happening because pain has happened. She like,
Speaker 1: once you feel pain or hurt, you reevaluate because you're like,
Speaker 1: I didn't know this would happen. What the funk is this?
Speaker 1: I think feeling a little bit of like because you
Speaker 1: were in love, you were I mean, I'm still very much,
Speaker 1: I still very than you aren't, but like you love him,
Speaker 1: you were up here from the super high of love,
Speaker 1: and then something happened that you didn't expect. And it's like,
Speaker 1: once you feel that pain, you're like, is everything I've
Speaker 1: done canny? Can it work? I've thought about that too
Speaker 1: when I felt some pain for Oda, Like we have
Speaker 1: three soons. We do this all the time, Like do
Speaker 1: I want to have three soons? But I I I
Speaker 1: receive and expect pain because I don't know my boundaries,
Speaker 1: so I expect to only know my boundaries. Once I
Speaker 1: realized the boundaries there like going into this type of relationship,
Speaker 1: mind you, it really being my first real relationship, like
Speaker 1: to where there was a responsibility, there was an exclusiveness,
Speaker 1: there was a way in which we had to show
Speaker 1: up for each other. I never really had to show
Speaker 1: up for nobody. As long as the niggas was paying
Speaker 1: my bills, I was hopping to different niggas, so I
Speaker 1: never had to show up for somebody the way I
Speaker 1: did in this relationship, and so boundaries. I didn't know
Speaker 1: what to set. I didn't know what type of relationship
Speaker 1: I realistically even wanted. Monogamy I knew was something that
Speaker 1: just would set me up for failure, because I believe
Speaker 1: that those are unrealistic expectations. Real boyfriend the first is
Speaker 1: someone that you swing with. Just imagine the gradual nous,
Speaker 1: right someone girl Meeke's boyfriend. But I would ever break
Speaker 1: up single for a little bit. He's another way friend.
Speaker 1: Sing a little bit, get some fucking experience under your belt.
Speaker 1: Then you have the way friend you go to the
Speaker 1: sex club with you like went end up. But also
Speaker 1: I think that I think the pandemic accelerated what our
Speaker 1: relationship was because I sat the funk down bit chall
Speaker 1: was at home. We may as well have both been
Speaker 1: in prison because we both exactly knew where the fun
Speaker 1: each other was every day. If he wasn't when me,
Speaker 1: he was at home. Nothing was open in New York,
Speaker 1: so like it allowed us to really get to know
Speaker 1: each other, Like the pandemic helped, I think just dating
Speaker 1: all around for so much because it sat us the
Speaker 1: funk down. Now that I'm sitting here trying to date
Speaker 1: and I'm ten times busier than I was pre COVID,
Speaker 1: I'm just like, I don't even know how I'm supposed
Speaker 1: to meet someone now how I mean, I think meeting
Speaker 1: someone isn't it because you were nothing a meeting. I
Speaker 1: can remember making time for saying, oh my god, I
Speaker 1: went away friends that happening. You were mad about not
Speaker 1: having sex. It's like you, you can't imagine it happening.
Speaker 1: Now You've had a great relationship, You've had a great person,
Speaker 1: so it's like, dude, that'sh It is hard. And I
Speaker 1: also think I actually just made me think with scissors.
Speaker 1: Now that I think about it, I'm like you right now,
Speaker 1: like even our breakup, it wasn't so painful to where
Speaker 1: I hurt, like we're hurt. We is one on the
Speaker 1: same page, and that's what we've been communicating is that
Speaker 1: we weren't. No, we weren't on the same page with
Speaker 1: a lot of things. And because we weren't on the
Speaker 1: same page, I was just like, not the same working.
Speaker 1: Maybe we could revisit it and come back later, but
Speaker 1: we're not on the same page. Let's figure that out.
Speaker 1: You just said with you and Scissors, I still love her,
Speaker 1: I still want the best for her. We just want
Speaker 1: on the same page. Do you know what's fucked up
Speaker 1: to about how I feel about Scissors? You know, Old
Speaker 1: Day and I have had a very relationship relationship holidays together,
Speaker 1: Like I mean, you know that's my name. Like to
Speaker 1: feel like that about someone, But I'm not saying obviously
Speaker 1: replaces my love for that person. But it's very scary
Speaker 1: because someone who's like truly by which is me was
Speaker 1: in a threat of which is me? And then so
Speaker 1: you don't really like each other, and like they don't
Speaker 1: like each other. But when she Vans, she was just
Speaker 1: like I realized that too. Though, Um, you can't just
Speaker 1: put two people like you know what I'm saying. You
Speaker 1: have to build that and I need to have someone
Speaker 1: on the show that is like us. Like so many
Speaker 1: people that I meet, even in the swing life, are like,
Speaker 1: I've never met a true bisexual and so like they're like,
Speaker 1: you're a true bisexual. You identify as a true bisexual bisexuality,
Speaker 1: especially with women, I think a lot of people are
Speaker 1: more curious than not or feel the need to be
Speaker 1: bisexual for their partners. But like when you're a woman
Speaker 1: who genuinely likes women genuinely likes men, like it's almost
Speaker 1: combat at romantically. And I think that's what's happening. Is
Speaker 1: like everything I think about that I really love in her.
Speaker 1: I don't have with old Bay, not in a bad way.
Speaker 1: You can't give it to me. Me and her have
Speaker 1: a very home girl best friend vibe. When we went
Speaker 1: to Paris and dipped off. Listen to this. You never
Speaker 1: gonna see her again, bitch. Listen when I tell you
Speaker 1: I'm listening to her talk. This is why you go
Speaker 1: to the baby shop? What's the whole? First of all,
Speaker 1: he listens to this girl. You gotta sneak around, no
Speaker 1: no about him. I wanted to prisemate and be happy
Speaker 1: about Stop trying to like make me compete in my
Speaker 1: head right now, you're being right now, thank you. Let's
Speaker 1: just bring it up in a way. Let's just because
Speaker 1: it sounds like you the nigga waiting for a downfall, bitch,
Speaker 1: how dare you all right? I don't want to wish
Speaker 1: a bat on anyone's relationship, but you want to happiness?
Speaker 1: I do feel like end up together some pore in
Speaker 1: our lives together? What do you mean back together? Like
Speaker 1: or like I'm gonna when we broke up, Like I
Speaker 1: never really thought we broke up? Yo? All right now man?
Speaker 1: Once you my bit, you my bit first, and I
Speaker 1: like that with any other Who have your other partners?
Speaker 1: Who have I said that about I don't know think
Speaker 1: about it. I don't know we've all recorded. Eden's recorded
Speaker 1: with us three. I actually no, you have said that.
Speaker 1: You said that about love for boy. You say, yeah,
Speaker 1: because when I'm in the city, of course, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: pull up because du for sex. But as I ever.
Speaker 1: But that's like, I mean, you could still, but that's
Speaker 1: what I'm saying, Like there's still that level of attachment
Speaker 1: that I don't think about just pussy when it comes
Speaker 1: to her though, like obviously, I mean there's feelings, but
Speaker 1: your emo that makes sense too. Why she Like I
Speaker 1: mean like when we broke up. I don't know if
Speaker 1: you remember, but like we went right back to being friends. Yes,
Speaker 1: like so to me and my nigga, right we're friends, yeah,
Speaker 1: Like yeah, so I know what that is. I will
Speaker 1: I never had TEX with her again after we broke up,
Speaker 1: show I will say this. He was crazy power Orlando
Speaker 1: show when she came that week, was the pandemic after that,
Speaker 1: and that's when she met Um, the person she's with now.
Speaker 1: I remember we went out to dinner after the Orlando
Speaker 1: show and there's this very like she was like angry
Speaker 1: with me, but she didn't like say it in a
Speaker 1: way like it was just like I'm mad at you,
Speaker 1: but like I was definitely still in love with her. Then,
Speaker 1: Like I remember, I got out of the car to
Speaker 1: go to my parents house and she kind of looked
Speaker 1: at me like what the funk We're not like going
Speaker 1: to stay and I was like I thought you were.
Speaker 1: It was very weird. And then that whole interaction after
Speaker 1: we got back from Toronto. I really was planning to
Speaker 1: like go back to Florida and like hash it out
Speaker 1: and figure out what we're doing and then depend on
Speaker 1: me happy. And then we did not go to Toronto.
Speaker 1: So beat you just to be fair. This is why
Speaker 1: you got to be fair. If I if I be like, yo,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, let's get back together, we say, you know
Speaker 1: what happened. She run off and lived in Mexico. So
Speaker 1: you let to literally be with this man then, because
Speaker 1: you was in Mexico with your man. I didn't like
Speaker 1: you gonna move to another country with your man. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna sit here and see what's up with this man.
Speaker 1: And this man ended up being out her baby daddy.
Speaker 1: Stop dragging it, because for one, I'm not dragging. I'm
Speaker 1: not righte Like, do you think it would have happened
Speaker 1: if the pandemic didn't happen? Like I was getting back together,
Speaker 1: like your whole relationship, Like, would it have been different
Speaker 1: with her? I think she would have had the pandemic?
Speaker 1: Not know he said her having a child? I think
Speaker 1: she had because of the pandemic. You know what's going on?
Speaker 1: The guy though she told me about about her, the
Speaker 1: person she's with now, which I think is even sweeter
Speaker 1: about the whole situation, right, Like she's like a girl,
Speaker 1: what this kidd And she was telling me about him
Speaker 1: and then they ended up having a baby. But if
Speaker 1: there wasn't pandemic, I'm not sure, you know, I don't
Speaker 1: know how serious they would have gotten. I think that
Speaker 1: does change things. I think I wouldn't have been with
Speaker 1: my ex had the pandemic not been a thing. So
Speaker 1: I wouldn't like the pandemic literally shaped a lot of people,
Speaker 1: like I know, but I know, I know for the
Speaker 1: people even they got met the nick on zoom, Like,
Speaker 1: what are the odds? You know what I mean? But
Speaker 1: I mean there was everyone was on the actually the
Speaker 1: whole world was on zons. Fucking flunny. That's such a
Speaker 1: pandemic star way to fucking meat like literally moment and
Speaker 1: then our first date was hiking when the funk would
Speaker 1: I have a lot to break up the funk the
Speaker 1: love for a second. Can I just tell y'all this
Speaker 1: is how no a ship. I was on a funeral
Speaker 1: zoom and there was like eight people. What the funerals?
Speaker 1: You know, you couldn't go to funerals during the pandemic.
Speaker 1: They so they were literally they were live streaming, uh
Speaker 1: a lot of the funerals. That's fucking crazy. I know.
Speaker 1: It was like a funeral memorials zoome thing whatever do
Speaker 1: So I'm going through the page because I'm board us see.
Speaker 1: But one of these dudes was, oh my god, I
Speaker 1: ain't gonna hold you. When we'd be on Patreon, we
Speaker 1: do a live town hall every month for those of
Speaker 1: y'all who have not joined our Patreon, and we have
Speaker 1: some pretty good looking guys that be on this except
Speaker 1: when you be every time you'll be trying to holliday him.
Speaker 1: But his wife and newborn baby. Be right. It was
Speaker 1: just my favorite one. First wash it out of them.
Speaker 1: You know they're in the same time. Yeah, they're in
Speaker 1: the Virgin Islands. He's so hands I'm gonna say. I'm
Speaker 1: not saying I want to her nigga. Let me finish.
Speaker 1: I'm not saying I would suck her nigga. They got
Speaker 1: a baby. I'm just saying, so does he doesn't stop
Speaker 1: And you're like, I ain't nigger before and he won
Speaker 1: my man? Okay, Yeah, you know what I'm saying. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but I'm just saying they'd be on the they'd be
Speaker 1: on the Patreon and her man is cute, and I
Speaker 1: feel like she know her nigga is fine. He's just
Speaker 1: my type more than anyone else. And so what you said,
Speaker 1: you met somebody at a funeral on zoom nah, But
Speaker 1: this is what I was trying to say. I felt
Speaker 1: like I wanted to like write him in the chat
Speaker 1: box and be like, oh, how do you know? So
Speaker 1: it's oh my god, is this fucked up? So then
Speaker 1: after the funeral was over, I looked at the attendee
Speaker 1: emails and I saw his name on there, and then
Speaker 1: I took his name put it in Facebook, and I
Speaker 1: looked him up and I was like, damn, he really fine,
Speaker 1: But also like, how do I add him now? Adam
Speaker 1: on LinkedIn? I'm telling you Lincoln is like you have Lincoln. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I need to make one for like now that I'm
Speaker 1: a content creator, but I have bich. I still get
Speaker 1: my I deleted my old one because I was scared.
Speaker 1: Oh I still get my work anniversary at e y congratulations,
Speaker 1: which I know you wy no more? Which mind you
Speaker 1: if ever I needed a fucking job. When I tell
Speaker 1: you LinkedIn, all the recruiters be hitting me because that
Speaker 1: looks like I've been at e wife about three years.
Speaker 1: And I tell you know what I tell you. They
Speaker 1: be be in my ship asking me like, hey, so
Speaker 1: we're looking for senior tax accountants. If you want to come,
Speaker 1: p WC is hiring an unlike not bitch never again,
Speaker 1: but um LinkedIn you get to really like you could
Speaker 1: see where the niggas work and they'd be like all
Speaker 1: dressed up in their little suits and their little abbeys
Speaker 1: and ship LinkedIn is where I'd be going on holiday,
Speaker 1: niggas bro LinkedIn Lincoln is the motherfucker's go to LinkedIn
Speaker 1: be This is how I'm telling you. LinkedIn is low.
Speaker 1: Bay had to hire a few positions and he was like,
Speaker 1: let me do it on the diversity call. Right. He's like,
Speaker 1: you know, because I can find the black people to
Speaker 1: take this job. So he did this and we were
Speaker 1: in Mexico City later throughout the day, his phone was
Speaker 1: buzzing on LinkedIn right. And mind you, his company is huge,
Speaker 1: um huge, huge company, like maybe over hundreds thousand people
Speaker 1: work there. So the diversity call was big and he
Speaker 1: clicked on LinkedIn. He was like, damn, I see all
Speaker 1: the black girls from his call. I mind what the
Speaker 1: fucking bitches won't? So mind you think it? Cat like
Speaker 1: and he was like, he was like, I didn't even
Speaker 1: talk to them. I just saw them in the chat box.
Speaker 1: All of them are on there. Fucking horse. I love it,
Speaker 1: like honestly, again, I don't want to creative. I still
Speaker 1: scroll through LinkedIn profiles. I love it. I love it.
Speaker 1: So you can never see yourself with another creative like ever,
Speaker 1: I don't want to be with one. I mean unless
Speaker 1: they make not even if they make more at me.
Speaker 1: I just I don't want to creative. I think you
Speaker 1: don't care if they make me. You just said you're
Speaker 1: excid and make as much. So why would it matter? No,
Speaker 1: because creatives can be broke. Maybe really artist I don't know,
Speaker 1: Like my nigga still has six figures. Even as someone
Speaker 1: who's white collar. I wouldn't want an aspiring you're saying
Speaker 1: the only reason will say there's a particular nine to
Speaker 1: five that you can have, right, And this is not me,
Speaker 1: Like I don't care about the money anymore. There's something
Speaker 1: I realized being in my relationship with the fun He
Speaker 1: can do whatever the funk he wants. If he was
Speaker 1: like we're going to Mexico for the weekend, I'm working there,
Speaker 1: he can do. That's what I'm saying. I wouldn't date
Speaker 1: an accountant either, like the way I used to have
Speaker 1: to be in my office, have no do. But know
Speaker 1: when someone works from home, they can move with you,
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying, Like, well, if they got
Speaker 1: again pandemic blessing, do you know how many jobs like
Speaker 1: are really paying and you can do remote now? Yes,
Speaker 1: Like I love what that has done for because that
Speaker 1: we can be home, or we can just take our
Speaker 1: work on the go, like I love all of these
Speaker 1: remote jobs. Now we didn't We didn't have an outline
Speaker 1: for this week, so hopefully you'll enjoyed what we shared.
Speaker 1: But I did still want to do homemaale because a
Speaker 1: lot of our recent episodes we didn't get a homemail. Um,
Speaker 1: so this one the title says, I'm single, but I
Speaker 1: sucked up. We have never by the way, when we
Speaker 1: don't have outlines not done a I almost swear. I
Speaker 1: think just the therapy episode is the only one where
Speaker 1: we didn't do have an elship where we didn't do
Speaker 1: a horrid or like, if we don't have an outline,
Speaker 1: will at least do one of them? You know what
Speaker 1: is synergy? No, it's that I really worked on this
Speaker 1: outline and I wasn't gonna rush through the fact that
Speaker 1: our catchup was starting saying the synergy because the apple
Speaker 1: just flew by long. What was well? Now it was.
Speaker 1: But when I looked at you and you said, I
Speaker 1: knew we was already halfway through what you know what,
Speaker 1: I said, I'm not sneaking my When Mandy and I
Speaker 1: were like first podcasting, we were like talking to the
Speaker 1: phone like would you do last night type? There was
Speaker 1: one thing really special, as fucked up as it sounds,
Speaker 1: because I said recently on live, someone was like, did
Speaker 1: you find out I was on a Horrible Decisions Live?
Speaker 1: They said, did you find out about Mandy's breakup or
Speaker 1: what happened in her breakup while you were doing during
Speaker 1: the ringlets? It was that real reaction. I was like, yes,
Speaker 1: I had no idea what happened. And it was funny
Speaker 1: because they're like, well, that's crazy on on talk, I
Speaker 1: was like, it is, but there is at least a
Speaker 1: real like no ship, oh my god, when we're telling
Speaker 1: each other's stories and it kind of works. It's five years.
Speaker 1: Imagine if you're really podcasting with someone who knows all
Speaker 1: your tea, you kind of got to like retail the
Speaker 1: story and be like, girl, you know what I told
Speaker 1: you about blah blah blah. Like every reaction is real.
Speaker 1: When I'm telling Mandy something on Patreon, that's really where
Speaker 1: we spill our tea for anyone who's wondering, it's coming
Speaker 1: out of my mouth for the first time, and I
Speaker 1: kind of like it. It's I'm gotten used to it.
Speaker 1: I think it's out of fun and it's nice. That
Speaker 1: was very kind of you to be open about your situation.
Speaker 1: I mean I was not trying. But also like I've
Speaker 1: known mall for like ten years. I've known Rory now.
Speaker 1: Actually I know them all longer than ten years. I
Speaker 1: knew more before I moved to New York. Um, and
Speaker 1: then I've known Rory. He was one of the first
Speaker 1: people I met when I moved to New York, maybe
Speaker 1: within the first week or two. I met him through
Speaker 1: Cam who does Henny and so like, I think also
Speaker 1: just being where I'm really talking to my friends, like
Speaker 1: where Ma has literally brought me Thanksgiving Day food because
Speaker 1: I didn't have my family up here. Rory has eaten
Speaker 1: dinner I've cooked for Rory and he ate at my house.
Speaker 1: So like, just I guess having those friends and knowing
Speaker 1: that they mean, well, it wasn't a gossipy thing. They
Speaker 1: was just like damn really But also a lot of
Speaker 1: people like want like enjoyed me in my relationship. It
Speaker 1: really hard to figure out, like when you know somebody man,
Speaker 1: he was like he's hurt. He was like, what did
Speaker 1: this nigga do? Like I mean really really really really
Speaker 1: still like I mean in his car easy, because I
Speaker 1: think that that's also where we're at now. In our conversations,
Speaker 1: he's like, it's good to see that neither of us
Speaker 1: are perfect now, so now we're actually having to love
Speaker 1: each other through our imperfections. Perfect. No, I know I'm not.
Speaker 1: I know I'm not. I have this masculine trait that
Speaker 1: he hates. What is what do you mean like, bitch?
Speaker 1: If you raise your voice, imna raise my voice too,
Speaker 1: And I jump at him where I don't think in
Speaker 1: his entire life he's dated a woman that will mother
Speaker 1: get Oh yeah, yes that's me, like I believe, and
Speaker 1: he calls me like he hates that. He calls it
Speaker 1: like this fucking feminism bullshit. He fucking hates it because
Speaker 1: he's like, why do you think this is? Why do
Speaker 1: you think everything a man can do, so can a woman.
Speaker 1: I said, because they can. And you're not gonna if
Speaker 1: you curse, bitch, I'm a curse if you raise your voice, bitch. No.
Speaker 1: I never would call him a bitch. No, but I
Speaker 1: get no only when this fighting words get very blackout sometimes. See,
Speaker 1: you know what's crazy, and I think it's so calm.
Speaker 1: I hated like you were saying if he's so, and
Speaker 1: he he never really raises his voice, so when he does,
Speaker 1: I'm like, you're raising your voice. Don't do that because
Speaker 1: then I'm going to raise mine. And now we're yelling,
Speaker 1: and that's my thing too. I really do not like arguing,
Speaker 1: and he knows that. So I'm like, does Mandy you
Speaker 1: you said you do some people arguing, not like a
Speaker 1: real one. Yeah, I don't like like a fight. Fuck, Like,
Speaker 1: why do you be acting like that? Yes? You know.
Speaker 1: I'd just be like, we're not gonna argue right now,
Speaker 1: Like this isn't a time for that anyways. Let me
Speaker 1: get back to this goddamn homemail. So we hit the
Speaker 1: funk on out of here, all right. So I'm single,
Speaker 1: but I sucked up high, ladies. I've been listening to
Speaker 1: your podcast since it came out in seventeen and has
Speaker 1: honestly made me become the woman that I am today.
Speaker 1: I've always been a sexual human, and I used to
Speaker 1: feel bad about it or like I was a whore
Speaker 1: for just liking sex, But you guys made me feel
Speaker 1: a lot more confident and now I don't give a ship,
Speaker 1: which also probably kind of put me in this situation.
Speaker 1: So anyways, a little background about me and this guy
Speaker 1: that I am seeing. We will call him Will Hey. Will.
Speaker 1: We met on tender back in twenty nineteen and had
Speaker 1: a few dates. Things were going really well, but he
Speaker 1: was only in my city for a month for work
Speaker 1: and then had to go back home, which was two
Speaker 1: hours away at the time. So we had a discussion
Speaker 1: before he left what we were doing with our relationship,
Speaker 1: and we came to the conclusion that we would try
Speaker 1: to see what happens. So we tried, and there was
Speaker 1: a lot of back and forth bullshit and it didn't
Speaker 1: end up working out. Things ended cordially and we kept
Speaker 1: in contact here and there. Okay, so jump to now.
Speaker 1: He moved closer to me, so now he's only forty
Speaker 1: five minutes away, and we kind of resparked whatever we
Speaker 1: had a couple of years ago. I would say our
Speaker 1: feelings have grown a lot for each other and we've
Speaker 1: had some serious talks. But let's not forget I technically
Speaker 1: am still single. So this other man who I've had
Speaker 1: sex with before, hits me up when night, asking me
Speaker 1: what I'm up to, and I say nothing. So he
Speaker 1: comes over and one thing leads to another and I
Speaker 1: end up giving him head. I was on my period,
Speaker 1: otherwise we would have had sex. After I gave him head,
Speaker 1: I look at my phone and I have five texts
Speaker 1: from Will telling me that he's in my city and
Speaker 1: he was trying to surprise me by showing up to
Speaker 1: my house, but I wasn't answering my phone, so he left.
Speaker 1: My heart quite literally fell into my ass. I did
Speaker 1: not expect him to do something so cute like that,
Speaker 1: and this was the closest thing I've ever done to cheating.
Speaker 1: I was so hurt by my actions that after the
Speaker 1: other man left, I threw up because I felt so
Speaker 1: bad about what I just did. Just imagine driving forty
Speaker 1: five minutes to see your man after working for sixteen
Speaker 1: and you're no, Well, forty five minutes is how far
Speaker 1: he lives. Now, Um, to see your man after working
Speaker 1: sixteen hours and your man isn't answering his phone because
Speaker 1: he's with another bit Now, of course, well doesn't know
Speaker 1: what I was doing because I just told him I
Speaker 1: fell asleep. But now I have this terrible guilty conscience
Speaker 1: and don't know what the funk to do. This situation
Speaker 1: made me realize how many feelings I have for will
Speaker 1: and how atlee? I just sucked up? But do I
Speaker 1: tell him what I did? Or do I keep it
Speaker 1: a secret and just move on. I don't want to
Speaker 1: have a guilty conscious forever if him and I do
Speaker 1: end up progressing into something more. Help me, please, what
Speaker 1: do I do? Do you know why I remember this
Speaker 1: home mail? There was a specific sentence that made me
Speaker 1: laugh so hard. I was out somewhere when I read it,
Speaker 1: just out eating and just like I think I flagged
Speaker 1: it because whenever you guys send us home mails, please
Speaker 1: put homemail on the subject, by the way to horrible
Speaker 1: decisions at gmail dot com. When it doesn't say home
Speaker 1: mail and we searched it, we it ends up getting lost.
Speaker 1: The girl goes, I gave him head, blah blah, and
Speaker 1: then she goes, this is the only time I've ever
Speaker 1: kind of cheated. And I was like, kind of, you
Speaker 1: kind of sucked the day. You know, giving head is
Speaker 1: for sure cheating, right, But she was like, this is
Speaker 1: the only time. You're like almost like no, but so
Speaker 1: it's not technically cheating if you haven't put a label
Speaker 1: on your relationship with this man. So like you having
Speaker 1: a lot of feelings for will doesn't doesn't equate to
Speaker 1: you cheating because he has not made you exclusively his partner.
Speaker 1: So is it okay? So fine, it's not cheating? But
Speaker 1: is it not dishonesty? Almost? Why I shouldn't tell you
Speaker 1: everything I'm doing when we're not together, Like that's something
Speaker 1: that comes with loyalty, with a relationship, with having responsibility
Speaker 1: to this person. We're nothing because she really liked this
Speaker 1: man and so maybe in her mind that's her boyfriend.
Speaker 1: I know he hasn't fully made them. I have a
Speaker 1: lot of feelings about, um, one, being faithful to someone
Speaker 1: that's not your partner. I have made that mistake a lot,
Speaker 1: and it's gotten me in so many situation ships that
Speaker 1: I didn't necessarily want to be in. And I think
Speaker 1: it's very unnecessary to put that kind of pressure on
Speaker 1: yourself because I know you said you threw up. That's
Speaker 1: also nervous. If you with forty five minutes with dicking
Speaker 1: your mouth, that wasn't your gilt, bitch, She was like,
Speaker 1: damn about to get caught. But um, if you're the
Speaker 1: type of person that needs to tell, like, I understand
Speaker 1: what a conscience, guilty conscience can feel, Like I totally understand.
Speaker 1: Do you want to tell tell me? I wouldn't. I
Speaker 1: wouldn't divulge in that because I think that people the
Speaker 1: way that you're feeling bad about it isn't going to
Speaker 1: outweigh how it's going to play in his mind. He's
Speaker 1: gonna be like, well, how did you get there? How
Speaker 1: is it possible that you even wanted to suck another dick?
Speaker 1: How could you do this to me? I thought we
Speaker 1: were going somewhere. So weird though, because I feel like
Speaker 1: she's like, I'm not with my partner now, but my
Speaker 1: partner just like pop up, Like he's popped up and
Speaker 1: brought flowers. He's popped up and brought food since y'all
Speaker 1: not together. No, okay, that's what I'm saying. But so well, no, yeah,
Speaker 1: when we broke up, but I walked outside and he
Speaker 1: had flowers and breakfast by my door, and he was like,
Speaker 1: I didn't want to interrupt, but you were on my
Speaker 1: mind this morning. So he's done that, And so a
Speaker 1: part of me, even when I'd be thinking of inviting
Speaker 1: somebody over flowers, I love flowers. I would I don't
Speaker 1: like up flowers, oh no, but flowers is like one
Speaker 1: of the things and they were my favorite. Got me
Speaker 1: some flowers, like some flowers are my favorite. Oh, they
Speaker 1: got me some flowers delivered to the house and I
Speaker 1: said the guy who was at the doors, like, I
Speaker 1: didn't order any food. He's like, oh, these are from
Speaker 1: I said, no, thank you, closing the door, and I
Speaker 1: text and I want them. Sorry. I lied flowers Nia,
Speaker 1: Oh well, I like flowers. I got them all the
Speaker 1: time in my old apartment, so I was like, nigga,
Speaker 1: what a flowers? When I moved to motherfucking Queens, I
Speaker 1: don't get flowers as much anymore. But no, So like
Speaker 1: because he's popped up unexpected, a part of me does
Speaker 1: feel weird to even invite someone over because I'm like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, what if I'm sucking and it's nigga
Speaker 1: come and try to think that any worth. I'd be like,
Speaker 1: but you lock a lim on to like it's easy
Speaker 1: for nick to be like, I'm hat someone. So what
Speaker 1: you're doing, I'd like, well, I will tell you this.
Speaker 1: This I wouldn't tell. I wouldn't tell either, because I
Speaker 1: don't think that's well, it's not that serious. And I
Speaker 1: think that once you guys get to a point where
Speaker 1: you agree that you should be not exclusive to each other,
Speaker 1: but you're in a place where you're not supposed to
Speaker 1: be seeing at people. You might be growing and getting there,
Speaker 1: your feelings might be ramping up, but your feelings don't
Speaker 1: necessarily need to do with what you should be divulging.
Speaker 1: What if that what if that relationship grows, even if
Speaker 1: it grows, why you I mean you could talk about
Speaker 1: things that you've done, but the idea of and we
Speaker 1: had an episode about that, like over sharing your sexual
Speaker 1: pass with your partner cool, But to me, to even
Speaker 1: preface it, like you felt bad that you were cheating
Speaker 1: because you were seeing him, Like to me, I just
Speaker 1: don't think it needs to be brought up at all. Like, girl,
Speaker 1: the nigga did not exclusively claim you, y'all relationship, you
Speaker 1: don't owe him telling him that you suck. Also, I
Speaker 1: will see this. We had this moment in Mexico. We're
Speaker 1: over and I just started talking about all the whole
Speaker 1: times we had. I don't know why it happened, Like
Speaker 1: in the beginning of our relationship. I was like, when
Speaker 1: did you really stop sucking other bitches? And he was like,
Speaker 1: what do you mean? When I was like telling me
Speaker 1: the dr thinking. I was like, because at one time
Speaker 1: when you went out of that lap, and that's that
Speaker 1: I wasn't feeling good. I other nigga, and he was
Speaker 1: like and we laughed about it, and it's like, what
Speaker 1: you're gonna do now? Like what you do? I think
Speaker 1: it takes a time to get there, because in this moment,
Speaker 1: if I heard that you were sucking another day and
Speaker 1: be like, you know, give a fok about me, you
Speaker 1: don't want to get back together. But two years from now,
Speaker 1: I'll be like, oh girl, whatever, Yeah, maybe save it
Speaker 1: for like two years from now. If he's even in
Speaker 1: the picture two years from now exactly, it might be
Speaker 1: the niggas suck. Well. Sorry for no outline this week,
Speaker 1: but I hope you guys enjoyed kind of us talking
Speaker 1: it out for what our and relationship woes and everything
Speaker 1: has been here. In um, next week, you guys are
Speaker 1: going to get a recap of some of our favorite
Speaker 1: episodes from one And let me go ahead and tell
Speaker 1: y'all now, top of the year, we are going on
Speaker 1: a break. Um, so you guys were gonna get drunk.
Speaker 1: We are, But that's basically why that's gonna happen. But
Speaker 1: it's gonna be some travels going on and really just
Speaker 1: us to break before we get up for two um. Also,
Speaker 1: if you haven't yet going over to horehive dot com,
Speaker 1: if you're still looking for stocking stuffers and things, they
Speaker 1: got five days, that's fine. Our shipping is I feel
Speaker 1: like we'll talk to Alice to make sure they get it.
Speaker 1: She gets it out. But we have a lot of things.
Speaker 1: We have stocking stuffers, and even if it goes late, bitch,
Speaker 1: I'll still be getting people gifts well after the holiday.
Speaker 1: And Obey ordered me this makaj coat, and the nigga
Speaker 1: fucking got this big gas box and printed out the
Speaker 1: code last year on a fucking he's like, I had
Speaker 1: to go to a kink coast and everything and it
Speaker 1: was a picture of the coat because the shipping was delayed.
Speaker 1: Like whatever do That's something you get a bit of
Speaker 1: Patreon membership if you all trying to do some Christmas gifts,
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. Yeah, if you guys want
Speaker 1: to keep up with us during those two weeks, if
Speaker 1: you join us on Patreon, we have new content there,
Speaker 1: so y'all can hear a little bit about us and
Speaker 1: what's going on don the holidays whatever, um, but yeah,
Speaker 1: I have a very safe holiday, absolutely, and I do
Speaker 1: want to think too. Because we're wrapping up the air,
Speaker 1: I want to shout out to everyone, especially all the
Speaker 1: new hor Hive members. They have been live in full
Speaker 1: effects at the live shows. It was literally they feel
Speaker 1: like a half the audience is like where I told you,
Speaker 1: COVID I don't know. It must have took him. My
Speaker 1: son may gone. They're not. They're not coming to our
Speaker 1: shows unless they just really some homes who don't want
Speaker 1: to get vaccinated. That's gotta be one of our old
Speaker 1: holes don't want to be vaccinated. So they're like, hey,
Speaker 1: uh sorry, maybe y'all show up to Atlanta. But um,
Speaker 1: I want to shout out to everyone that went to
Speaker 1: the DC show, the New York show, the l A
Speaker 1: show in Atlanta. Thank you guys, um for all of
Speaker 1: those cities that y'all keep writing under the post. We
Speaker 1: will be announcing hopefully some shows um in the spring,
Speaker 1: so we're looking forward to seeing y'all again. Make sure
Speaker 1: you're going over to patreon is patreon dot com backslash
Speaker 1: Horrible Decisions, UM check that out. And yeah, you light
Speaker 1: and lub y'all. We wish you a happy happening days
Speaker 1: been a happy new Year. I promise we won't do
Speaker 1: that next year. Enjoin next week's episode of our recap.
Speaker 1: Tweet us put on Instagram your favorite episode. Hopefully we
Speaker 1: can um favorite guests, all of that, um and honestly,
Speaker 1: just just thank you guys. This has been yet another
Speaker 1: episode wrapping up one baby. It's bonus bitches. Hey everybody,
Speaker 1: welcome back for another episode of our Patreon, which normally
Speaker 1: is more up to date. I mean, I know this
Speaker 1: is the week of Christmas, but um, we did record
Speaker 1: it a little bit before so we can enjoy time
Speaker 1: with our fam. We're coming off of our Atlanta high.
Speaker 1: I feel like everybody is tweeting us about like coming
Speaker 1: to a different city. If you could pick like two
Speaker 1: cities that you feel like we gotta go to for
Speaker 1: the New year, where would it be that we haven't
Speaker 1: done yet, not that we haven't done yet, or that
Speaker 1: we just need to go to New Orleans for sure?
Speaker 1: I mean, I like, I don't know, I don't know,
Speaker 1: we've we've never been to New Orleans, so I don't
Speaker 1: know how to gauge that. UM to me, outside of
Speaker 1: the four cities we did, Chicago and in Houston have
Speaker 1: always showed out for us. UM. I would also say
Speaker 1: an honorable mention to Philly, even though Philly is right there.
Speaker 1: Philly goes really hard in our comments. Um, even though
Speaker 1: they didn't go hard at the first year we had there,
Speaker 1: I thought it was fine. I think it was close
Speaker 1: to a sellout. I thought they did well. I think
Speaker 1: Baltimore has been asking for years for us to come there.
Speaker 1: But those would be those would be I guess my cities. Yeah,
Speaker 1: definitely Chicago. I forgot about them that a Chicago is
Speaker 1: a stand hive that we have there. Chicago is real
Speaker 1: just because Tammy there. I mean only Dammy. It's it's
Speaker 1: it's everyone's funny because every city I know a person
Speaker 1: now in my head yeah, um, which is kind of nuts.
Speaker 1: Whenever someone's like a regular fan, no offense to anyone
Speaker 1: that listens to the main episodes, but sometimes I'd just
Speaker 1: be like, I don't really know you, but it's because
Speaker 1: Patreon just to give you guys an idea if you're
Speaker 1: a new Patreon or old Patren or whatever. We um
Speaker 1: we see the names a lot more frequently. It's something
Speaker 1: we have to manage closely. It's not like an Instagram thing.
Speaker 1: We're seeing first and last names. We're sending messages because
Speaker 1: of merge or Um. On top of that, uh, the
Speaker 1: zooms the town hall has really gotten me closer to
Speaker 1: the hor rive. Yeah. I really like the zooms that
Speaker 1: we do every month. I really like that. Are you
Speaker 1: in bed? I am? I've never seen you with this background.
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm the one with that. It's been
Speaker 1: a long, a long morning. I'm not gonna get into it,
Speaker 1: but I am officially officially officially single. So it's like
Speaker 1: this is the first like and I'm officially single, like
Speaker 1: there's no coming back, and I don't know, it just
Speaker 1: hit different. I feel like I've been preparing for it
Speaker 1: with our ups and downs recently. But it was just
Speaker 1: a long night. Did you do a long night? Did
Speaker 1: you get to at least talking and figure out you'd
Speaker 1: be single in person? Yeah? It was in person and
Speaker 1: it it just got not great. So it's done forever.
Speaker 1: Do you feel good about at least closing a chapter
Speaker 1: and not being in limbo now because it wasn't closed good? Okay,
Speaker 1: Like he closed it by saying he doesn't even want
Speaker 1: me to like him. He wants me to hate him,
Speaker 1: and so just things were done and said for me
Speaker 1: to hate him, which I'm just like, it was just
Speaker 1: an extreme it was an extreme measure to like, maybe
Speaker 1: you start, maybe he doesn't, maybe he was angry. That's
Speaker 1: a weird thing. I mean, I mean, no, there's a lot.
Speaker 1: I mean he's grieving. There's a lot going on in
Speaker 1: his personal life. And all my friends were like, it's
Speaker 1: deeper than you, but for sure there's no coming back.
Speaker 1: So to know, like I'm going into the holidays, like
Speaker 1: literally the last episode we were talking about gifts, which
Speaker 1: you know isn't a thing that he celebrates of course
Speaker 1: his birthday, yes, And so to be going into the
Speaker 1: holidays single and to know I'm gonna be starting the
Speaker 1: new year off fresh, It's just like it's weird and
Speaker 1: I would love to know how y'all do it. But
Speaker 1: I just tweeted something in feeling the high of love
Speaker 1: and now experiencing hurt and heartbreak, why do people choose
Speaker 1: to feel this way again and again and again, Like
Speaker 1: a part of me just wants to feel my free
Speaker 1: time up with friends and work again, Like I don't
Speaker 1: want to experience the highs and lows of love again,
Speaker 1: I'm good. I'm good. Love is like the best drug
Speaker 1: of all right, Like that's something that we hear all
Speaker 1: the time. Love is definitely a drug and where people
Speaker 1: are addicted to that puppy love feeling. There's nothing like
Speaker 1: that beginning feeling, that feeling of the first I love you,
Speaker 1: the feeling of will you be my girlfriend, the feeling
Speaker 1: of your first vacation and meeting families. It's like those
Speaker 1: moments are what we're and I think the other thing
Speaker 1: and why I'm such an emotional person.