WEBVTT - Ep 248: That's Called Growth 0:00:02.320 --> 0:00:08.560 I guess what decision we're about to make a horrible decisions. Hell, 0:00:08.760 --> 0:00:15.720 how how happy hollidays? That welcome? It is not welcome 0:00:15.760 --> 0:00:21.080 to another episode, guys of horrible decisions. We are almost 0:00:21.160 --> 0:00:25.000 at the end of the motherfucking year. Goddamn, what's gonna happen? Nate, 0:00:25.280 --> 0:00:27.880 there gonna be like another wildfire? I forgot about that. 0:00:28.080 --> 0:00:31.840 Did you watch Death on Netflix? And it like reminds 0:00:31.840 --> 0:00:34.239 you of all the fucking crazy ship that happened in 0:00:35.000 --> 0:00:37.120 I wonder if they're going to do that to me. 0:00:37.240 --> 0:00:41.800 This year was was just one of those years like 0:00:41.840 --> 0:00:45.319 it was just I don't know. I'm ready for. All 0:00:45.360 --> 0:00:47.280 I keep saying is I'm ready for this year to 0:00:47.280 --> 0:00:49.320 be over. I'm just ready for to be I had 0:00:49.320 --> 0:00:52.000 a great year work wise, but not sex wise. Like 0:00:52.080 --> 0:00:56.319 pussy Broke, I got depressed. I gain weight because I 0:00:56.360 --> 0:00:58.639 was depressed. But it's all right because I'm gonna suck 0:00:58.640 --> 0:01:00.520 it out. And once I suck it out, you really 0:01:00.520 --> 0:01:03.440 committed to this slipo? Am I committed to this slipo 0:01:03.520 --> 0:01:07.080 Oh guys, announcement. My Christmas present for myself is LiPo section. 0:01:07.200 --> 0:01:11.280 And let me just say that real quick. Everybody that 0:01:11.440 --> 0:01:15.760 tells me just work out gets me really upset because 0:01:15.880 --> 0:01:20.760 for one, bitch, I do. For two, even if I didn't, 0:01:21.600 --> 0:01:24.360 I feel like getting sucking LiPo, you know what I'm saying, 0:01:24.400 --> 0:01:26.479 Like I feel like when you're telling about just our goal, 0:01:26.720 --> 0:01:29.240 when I tell you, the tables be turning like crazy 0:01:29.280 --> 0:01:32.000 on this fucking show ed. And I remember before I 0:01:32.040 --> 0:01:34.000 got my weight loss surgery, like that was the thing, 0:01:34.640 --> 0:01:37.400 especially when you were hardcore working out. You saw away 0:01:37.440 --> 0:01:39.120 just let me just work out, And I'm like, but 0:01:39.200 --> 0:01:41.600 it's not the same, It's really not yet. But I 0:01:41.640 --> 0:01:44.280 was worried about your surgery because of the complications. There's 0:01:44.319 --> 0:01:47.280 complications with every surgery I know. But I do know 0:01:47.360 --> 0:01:49.480 someone that had gotten the sleeve, and I was scared. 0:01:49.640 --> 0:01:52.600 Like the person that I know that got it has 0:01:52.800 --> 0:01:56.560 so many fucked up issues light bo, I'm not really 0:01:56.600 --> 0:01:58.560 scared of And I know you tried it, but like 0:01:58.760 --> 0:02:01.240 what you did change your life. But I was really 0:02:01.280 --> 0:02:04.280 just scared because like she'd be having issues with the 0:02:05.440 --> 0:02:07.520 what's the dumping thing? Can you talk about what was it? 0:02:07.640 --> 0:02:12.360 Dumping syndrome? But that happens in the beginning. It's like 0:02:12.880 --> 0:02:16.359 I mean to me, imagine like Thanksgiving when you like 0:02:16.800 --> 0:02:21.160 eat and you're like you just feel awful. So when 0:02:21.160 --> 0:02:24.519 you get the gas stric your stomach is much smaller. 0:02:25.000 --> 0:02:29.760 So literally like the amount of nausea, nausea, nausea, there 0:02:29.800 --> 0:02:31.960 we go, the amount of like nausea and just how 0:02:32.040 --> 0:02:36.519 you feel like it's literally one of the worst feelings. 0:02:36.600 --> 0:02:39.600 And so like early on into getting gas stric like 0:02:39.960 --> 0:02:42.280 you literally can eat two bites and be full, and 0:02:42.320 --> 0:02:48.079 if you overeat immediately, you just feel like shit. It's 0:02:48.120 --> 0:02:50.760 just a big like lifestyle check. That's why they make 0:02:50.760 --> 0:02:53.880 you do you know, like, um, what is the psychiatric 0:02:53.960 --> 0:02:56.919 evaluation ship like that, because it's like a really big deal. 0:02:59.040 --> 0:03:02.800 And not only that, like it's frustrating when we would 0:03:02.800 --> 0:03:05.480 go eat for not for me, but for her because 0:03:05.520 --> 0:03:08.040 she was just like, oh my god, like my social 0:03:08.080 --> 0:03:11.600 habits have changed then the acid reflecting with her throat 0:03:11.680 --> 0:03:14.120 now thyroid issues, so like it was just scary for 0:03:14.200 --> 0:03:16.480 me to like watch somebody go through that. But I 0:03:16.560 --> 0:03:19.560 know with light Bo they'd be just saying, like, just 0:03:19.600 --> 0:03:22.080 shape your ship because that's what I want. But I 0:03:22.080 --> 0:03:25.600 know it's yeah, that's how That's how Kanye Mama died 0:03:26.919 --> 0:03:32.600 right like, and I know, like another Instagram model just 0:03:32.639 --> 0:03:36.320 did to me any type of surgery of course, but 0:03:36.480 --> 0:03:39.280 um with the with the light bo I'm getting, I'm 0:03:39.320 --> 0:03:43.280 just getting my stomach um. And I found a lot 0:03:43.320 --> 0:03:44.920 of people were like, because you were like, just gonna 0:03:44.920 --> 0:03:47.000 BBL but I don't want to do it because of 0:03:47.040 --> 0:03:49.280 that artery. Like a lot of women died from getting 0:03:49.280 --> 0:03:52.360 their butt done, And I understand why waste that too, 0:03:52.440 --> 0:03:54.360 but fat when you can just put it in your ass, 0:03:54.520 --> 0:03:58.440 sounds like a great plan. But apparently the fucking artery 0:03:58.480 --> 0:04:00.520 by your ask like it could really like, it's one 0:04:00.520 --> 0:04:03.120 of the most complicated surgeries. It's got the most rampant 0:04:03.120 --> 0:04:06.040 deaths from bbls, I think in Miami. I was reading 0:04:06.040 --> 0:04:07.920 this one place. U there's a porn star I really 0:04:07.920 --> 0:04:09.920 like who got um light bo there? And I wrote 0:04:09.920 --> 0:04:16.240 her on Twitter CG Cosmetics. Nine people died like within 0:04:16.279 --> 0:04:19.599 a year. That's how risky that BBL surgery was. But 0:04:19.640 --> 0:04:23.520 apparently the number, the ratio wasn't that bad because they 0:04:23.600 --> 0:04:27.640 do that many bbls. So anyway, I just get to me, 0:04:28.520 --> 0:04:32.400 has always been a thing, yeah or was it? Just 0:04:32.440 --> 0:04:35.000 like I feel like I've only known about them for 0:04:35.000 --> 0:04:39.640 a few years. I feel like I just over a 0:04:39.680 --> 0:04:42.240 decade now. Yeah, back when I was like, I knew 0:04:42.240 --> 0:04:44.880 about silicon, but it was probably like also the girls 0:04:44.920 --> 0:04:46.880 I was hanging around, you know what I mean. And 0:04:46.920 --> 0:04:50.359 also I didn't understand the skinny BBO. I wish I 0:04:50.400 --> 0:04:55.599 had my Instagram. What is no, Butrea's body is real. No, 0:04:55.760 --> 0:04:58.039 it's not that I don't believe that. Okay, you don't 0:04:58.040 --> 0:05:00.560 have to believe it. It's not. Julia talks about this 0:05:00.760 --> 0:05:03.400 all the time, her asses consistent and mad pictures. I 0:05:03.440 --> 0:05:05.279 just refused to believe that you can't have a beauty, 0:05:05.320 --> 0:05:08.320 beautiful body like Drea has and b baby l my 0:05:08.360 --> 0:05:10.640 homegirl doesn't have a BBL. Shout out to Kaitlin Nicole. 0:05:10.760 --> 0:05:13.080 She's a fitness buff like Drea, and I followed Dre 0:05:13.240 --> 0:05:15.920 and she's like crazy, that busy working out two three 0:05:15.920 --> 0:05:20.320 times a day. And I think, like, like, the skinny 0:05:20.360 --> 0:05:23.400 BBL looks so natural that you wouldn't know, because I 0:05:23.400 --> 0:05:26.600 know what you're talking about, that shape, the app etching. Damn. 0:05:26.600 --> 0:05:28.440 I wish I could find this doctor's name. But there's 0:05:28.440 --> 0:05:31.719 an Asian dude in Houston. He does all the skinny bbls. 0:05:31.800 --> 0:05:33.880 And once I found that out, I was like, oh, 0:05:33.880 --> 0:05:36.640 I'm getting a fitness page. I'm gonna stuck it out 0:05:36.760 --> 0:05:38.360 and I'm gonna teach you how to keep it up. 0:05:39.080 --> 0:05:42.640 Have y'all ever actually considered being like a fitness influencer? 0:05:42.800 --> 0:05:44.640 I don't, nigga, do you know what the fun you 0:05:44.720 --> 0:05:47.279 talking to me? I don't know. I did when I 0:05:47.279 --> 0:05:48.800 was going to spend class a lot, but then I 0:05:48.839 --> 0:05:50.920 was like, no, I guess I talked about drug use 0:05:50.960 --> 0:05:55.080 and alcoholics. He right, It doesn't like match the upkeep. 0:05:55.320 --> 0:05:57.640 Maybe maybe it could be like a Brianda, you know 0:05:57.640 --> 0:06:00.160 how she's like a Christian but she's like fun. Maybe 0:06:00.200 --> 0:06:02.119 I could be a fitness influer, but I'm like, misses 0:06:02.200 --> 0:06:06.560 something have you done that? Are there any popular fitness 0:06:06.560 --> 0:06:11.520 influencers that aren't like crazy skinny, because that's the kind 0:06:11.520 --> 0:06:13.320 of page I want it. You know what I'm saying? Like, 0:06:13.400 --> 0:06:17.599 I'm I mean my uh, I have my friend Ali, 0:06:18.040 --> 0:06:21.680 She's beautiful, Like do you know what I'm talking about? 0:06:22.440 --> 0:06:27.120 Handle miss Alissa sort of? I love like every regular 0:06:27.160 --> 0:06:31.920 looking person that's fit, miss miss dot alyssa sort of. 0:06:32.040 --> 0:06:35.240 And then key to girl, let me get the uh 0:06:35.400 --> 0:06:38.039 numb key to girl nine to one. That's this is 0:06:38.080 --> 0:06:41.520 actually her outfit that I'm wearing. Her body is like 0:06:42.480 --> 0:06:47.600 just fucking beautiful. We said normal people, bro, these are 0:06:47.640 --> 0:06:50.480 normal people, and she did you not a crazy fit body? 0:06:53.520 --> 0:06:55.840 Like yes, look at her. Look how thick she is. 0:06:55.960 --> 0:06:57.919 Her ass is beautiful. Okay, Maddy, let me tell you 0:06:57.920 --> 0:07:02.080 what I'm talking about. Hold on, theseus are beautiful bodies. Yeah, 0:07:02.080 --> 0:07:06.000 but that work out like you don't. I'm saying, like 0:07:06.120 --> 0:07:10.120 someone that's not flat stomach, that's healthy and working out, 0:07:10.160 --> 0:07:13.520 because I believe that that's a thing. There's a girl 0:07:13.560 --> 0:07:16.000 I'd be seeing on the Peloton ship that I do 0:07:16.400 --> 0:07:20.240 all the time. She's like in her look she's not 0:07:20.320 --> 0:07:23.280 like super thin, but that's the ship. I feel like 0:07:23.560 --> 0:07:26.720 she looked good. She looked too good. She looks great. 0:07:26.760 --> 0:07:29.680 It's not that's not normal. She had a baby. She 0:07:29.880 --> 0:07:31.360 just had a baby. You see. I can't look at 0:07:31.400 --> 0:07:34.960 that on Instagram. I'm like, oh, I'll never get there. 0:07:35.320 --> 0:07:37.520 You can't be that good looking and tell me you 0:07:37.520 --> 0:07:42.920 a fitness now, I mean normal looking people. Mandy to me, 0:07:43.120 --> 0:07:46.680 she's to me, she's thick and just proportioned. I like 0:07:46.840 --> 0:07:53.200 that in proportions. I like it. Well, speaking of proportion, 0:07:53.240 --> 0:07:55.640 I'm about to get crazy ratio and I can't wait. 0:07:55.760 --> 0:07:57.240 And I was like, okay, so when I get fatty, 0:07:57.320 --> 0:07:59.480 and if I get fatty, and where's the fat gonna go? 0:07:59.760 --> 0:08:01.680 He's like, well, you might get fat in the stomach, 0:08:01.720 --> 0:08:04.080 but it probably won't happen because the fat deposits change. 0:08:04.400 --> 0:08:06.200 He's like, so it would probably go to your bottom 0:08:06.240 --> 0:08:08.440 half or wherever you normally gain weight. And as you 0:08:08.480 --> 0:08:10.480 can see, my legs have been getting thicker, which is 0:08:10.520 --> 0:08:14.560 the one good thing about me getting fat. And I'm 0:08:14.560 --> 0:08:17.000 really excited to say I won't need a VVL because 0:08:17.560 --> 0:08:19.920 I'm just hoping it's just gonna look so skinny. They're 0:08:19.920 --> 0:08:21.600 gonna be like, damn, where you gotta ask from, And 0:08:21.600 --> 0:08:25.920 I'll be like, doctor craft, That's what I'm really hoping for. 0:08:26.320 --> 0:08:30.760 But also I bring up the working out thing because medication, like, 0:08:30.840 --> 0:08:33.080 that's how I gain weight. I didn't gain weight because 0:08:33.120 --> 0:08:36.800 I was eating from depression. I gained weight from the 0:08:36.880 --> 0:08:40.840 actual medication. So you know, no, I didn't kill myself. 0:08:40.880 --> 0:08:42.680 But at the same time, I was like, well, bitch, 0:08:44.000 --> 0:08:45.360 I think a lot of people do forget about the 0:08:45.360 --> 0:08:48.560 side effects of pills like that. Oh yeah, absolutely, but 0:08:48.640 --> 0:08:53.160 there's that's me up in hair weight gain. What is it, 0:08:53.400 --> 0:08:55.960 uh like you have like a like a low sexual 0:08:56.040 --> 0:08:59.640 drive is for some of them it imbalances your hormones, 0:08:59.760 --> 0:09:02.360 like it's hard to come. What was really kind of 0:09:02.440 --> 0:09:03.800 sad and I had to talk to the old Bay 0:09:03.840 --> 0:09:07.600 about it, is I wasn't able to come from sex 0:09:07.840 --> 0:09:11.320 because like I know he's and still I'm having trouble. 0:09:11.679 --> 0:09:13.680 And obviously I've been like sucking this person for so 0:09:13.679 --> 0:09:15.640 many years. It's not like I can't get there right, 0:09:16.120 --> 0:09:20.080 but the the goal of orgasm is so intense in 0:09:20.120 --> 0:09:22.560 my brain. And I also know that he knows it's 0:09:22.600 --> 0:09:25.040 hard for me to get to because of medication, so 0:09:25.080 --> 0:09:27.040 he's probably thinking about it that I'm thinking about it. 0:09:27.120 --> 0:09:30.720 So it makes me anxious and I feel guilty because 0:09:30.760 --> 0:09:34.520 masturbation is the only patience I have with myself. You know, 0:09:34.600 --> 0:09:36.280 I feel bad to say you might have to suck 0:09:36.320 --> 0:09:37.880 me for forty five minutes when I used to come 0:09:37.920 --> 0:09:40.680 in five. So like sometimes if I want to come, 0:09:41.160 --> 0:09:43.920 I just masturbate now, which is something that I don't 0:09:43.920 --> 0:09:45.800 know if anybody else is going through. But I feel 0:09:45.800 --> 0:09:47.680 super guilty because you just want to have sex with 0:09:47.720 --> 0:09:50.679 yourself and a lot of people will talk about that. 0:09:50.760 --> 0:09:52.720 You know, you may feel insulted if you find out 0:09:52.720 --> 0:09:55.200 your partners masturbating but they're not sucking you. But I 0:09:55.240 --> 0:09:58.080 can't explain it. It's just something that makes me feel 0:09:58.120 --> 0:10:01.840 less pressure right now and it works, so I don't know. 0:10:02.200 --> 0:10:03.720 But anyway, once I stuck it out and I started 0:10:03.760 --> 0:10:06.599 looking at myself and to me, I'll be like, many, 0:10:07.400 --> 0:10:12.920 do you think it's gonna be an immediate confidence boost? Um? 0:10:13.040 --> 0:10:16.200 I get honestly, more than its confidence. I'm so frustrated 0:10:16.240 --> 0:10:17.800 that I'm not able to get back to what I 0:10:17.880 --> 0:10:20.959 used to look like, Like I don't feel like I'm 0:10:21.000 --> 0:10:24.120 my mood is down about it more than I'm fucking frustrated, 0:10:24.600 --> 0:10:25.960 Like you know what I'm saying, Like I know I 0:10:26.000 --> 0:10:27.360 used to look like this, and I know I'm it's 0:10:27.360 --> 0:10:29.720 not because of my own habits. That's what drives me crazy. 0:10:29.880 --> 0:10:33.240 But um, maybe it'll give me some confidence, but I 0:10:33.320 --> 0:10:37.520 think with sex it will help. Like I don't actively 0:10:37.559 --> 0:10:39.880 think that I'm looking different when I'm sucking, but I 0:10:39.920 --> 0:10:41.960 feel like if my body changes, it might make me 0:10:41.960 --> 0:10:43.600 want to suck more. I don't know if that makes sense, 0:10:44.280 --> 0:10:46.320 because I feel like I still have face that really 0:10:46.320 --> 0:10:49.680 saves me. Yeah, Like you know what I'm saying, Like 0:10:49.679 --> 0:10:51.560 when you're not like feeling your best about your body, 0:10:51.559 --> 0:10:53.520 I'm like, well, I'm still key. That's what I really 0:10:53.520 --> 0:10:57.079 be feeling. Like thanks for taking a pick in this moment. 0:10:58.640 --> 0:11:01.720 Have you ever felt like that? Like, m maybe now 0:11:01.840 --> 0:11:03.960 not been a long time. It's just really weird because 0:11:04.200 --> 0:11:09.000 um oh, with the holidays and being single again, I 0:11:09.040 --> 0:11:11.520 still only want to be with the person that I've 0:11:11.559 --> 0:11:13.520 been with for the last year and a half. So 0:11:14.040 --> 0:11:16.800 normally around the holidays, like even all my old hose 0:11:17.200 --> 0:11:21.199 they're with their families duh. Like so I'm not really 0:11:21.240 --> 0:11:24.640 having the opportunity to backtrack. And then with all the touring, 0:11:25.240 --> 0:11:28.160 I don't have time to date. So I by myself 0:11:28.280 --> 0:11:31.680 just wanting to still be with him, um because I 0:11:31.760 --> 0:11:34.400 still have like a crazy sex drive. That's so I 0:11:34.400 --> 0:11:38.520 want to have sex. Um and so no, I mean 0:11:38.559 --> 0:11:40.880 outside of that, I'm just really trying to like I 0:11:40.920 --> 0:11:43.000 want to have sex with other people because I don't. 0:11:43.840 --> 0:11:47.760 I don't. Um, I hate that feelings. I'm I'm I 0:11:47.800 --> 0:11:51.280 mean in d C, like I met like this little 0:11:51.280 --> 0:11:53.160 pretty girl, I realized, like I want to be with 0:11:53.200 --> 0:11:57.520 women more right now, um, but it's weird because I like, 0:11:57.760 --> 0:12:00.080 I have just like phases with them, like I'll be like, 0:12:00.080 --> 0:12:01.439 oh my god, she's so cute. I want to bring 0:12:01.480 --> 0:12:02.920 it to New York. I wanted to stay with me 0:12:02.960 --> 0:12:05.240 for the weekend. This happened even when I was in Orlando, 0:12:05.520 --> 0:12:07.240 that this other girl made out with her all night, 0:12:07.600 --> 0:12:09.160 and then when I got to New York, I was like, Okay, 0:12:09.160 --> 0:12:12.880 I don't want anyone in my space. So I don't know, 0:12:13.200 --> 0:12:16.719 I don't know. I'm I'm having this weird like thing 0:12:16.840 --> 0:12:19.280 right now sexually, like I want to be with women, 0:12:19.320 --> 0:12:21.360 but I just want to be with my ex. So 0:12:21.559 --> 0:12:23.480 I wonder if you only want to be with women 0:12:23.520 --> 0:12:26.920 because you feel like you'd compare a man to him, 0:12:26.960 --> 0:12:27.920 you know what I mean, Like you do have to 0:12:28.200 --> 0:12:31.199 not like you would, but your body might. Well it's 0:12:31.240 --> 0:12:34.840 also crazy because sex with him over the last year 0:12:34.840 --> 0:12:37.800 and a half has been like the most life changing, 0:12:37.800 --> 0:12:42.160 That's what I'm saying. It's not really I wouldn't compare 0:12:42.160 --> 0:12:44.560 it yet, Like I mean from his body to the 0:12:44.600 --> 0:12:47.840 way like after sex, like the aftercare he gives me, 0:12:47.880 --> 0:12:51.600 he stretches me, he massages me. It's like just so intimate. 0:12:52.160 --> 0:12:54.640 I just I have no desire to have sex with 0:12:54.679 --> 0:13:00.240 other people, which sucks. Yeah, because like are like like 0:13:00.320 --> 0:13:03.200 my old holes are ready to like, Oh, well, you know, 0:13:03.520 --> 0:13:05.080 I can meet you here. I can meet you there, 0:13:05.200 --> 0:13:07.480 like Nigga. Christmas coming up, so a bit do want 0:13:07.520 --> 0:13:10.360 some gifts. But I'm still just like, but do we 0:13:10.400 --> 0:13:12.280 have to fun? Like I know, like you're my old 0:13:12.320 --> 0:13:13.720 home and i know we used to have sex, but 0:13:13.800 --> 0:13:15.960 I'm really not in the mood to have sex with 0:13:16.000 --> 0:13:20.280 like anyone else. Tell me if I'm crossing the boundary. 0:13:20.360 --> 0:13:23.800 But have you spoken to him? Oh? We speak every day? Yeah, 0:13:23.880 --> 0:13:26.920 we uh, we speak every day, but we're like not 0:13:27.040 --> 0:13:31.480 together and that's emphasized Like I am trying to date. Uh. 0:13:31.520 --> 0:13:33.600 I talked about it with Wheezy on a Patreon episode. 0:13:34.080 --> 0:13:37.680 I just don't have the time, Like there's no time 0:13:37.720 --> 0:13:41.199 to date. Like I met this fine asked motherfucker and 0:13:42.080 --> 0:13:44.560 literally because we met online. He lives in New York 0:13:44.559 --> 0:13:46.400 as well. I said, you got two weeks to see me. 0:13:46.679 --> 0:13:49.520 If we don't see each other, then I'm good on 0:13:49.559 --> 0:13:51.680 you two weeks. If we love in the same city, 0:13:51.720 --> 0:13:55.679 there's no reason, right, No, A bitch had a show. 0:13:56.040 --> 0:13:58.520 I had a recording every day. Then I went out 0:13:58.520 --> 0:14:00.320 of town to Vegas. Then I went out of Sound 0:14:00.320 --> 0:14:01.839 a d C. Then I went out of sound to 0:14:01.960 --> 0:14:04.480 l A for a week, and I'm like, damn, I 0:14:04.520 --> 0:14:07.200 don't have time to see you. And he works at 0:14:07.280 --> 0:14:10.160 nine to five, so like during the week it's different 0:14:10.200 --> 0:14:12.319 from him. I'm just like, fuck, and I don't want 0:14:12.320 --> 0:14:14.120 to date to Creative. I don't want to date anyone 0:14:14.240 --> 0:14:16.760 in the space. I don't. Yeah, I don't want to 0:14:16.840 --> 0:14:20.240 date to creative. But I'm like, damn, maybe maybe I 0:14:20.280 --> 0:14:23.800 do need I'm telling you no, No, I feel like 0:14:23.840 --> 0:14:27.000 maybe I do need to like find out what the 0:14:27.040 --> 0:14:28.520 whole niggas hang out, Like I feel like I need 0:14:28.560 --> 0:14:32.280 a nigotus was hired that has nothing to do be 0:14:32.320 --> 0:14:35.680 available when I need him to be about creatives that 0:14:36.080 --> 0:14:40.760 I dated one, you know in l A. And there 0:14:40.840 --> 0:14:44.400 was something about it that I really liked because he 0:14:44.440 --> 0:14:48.000 didn't really seem disappointed at anything, like if I had 0:14:48.040 --> 0:14:50.800 to cancel on something or if my time frame or 0:14:50.840 --> 0:14:54.360 taking calls, like he just gets it. And also I 0:14:54.400 --> 0:14:58.440 didn't have to go through the motion of oh, like yes, 0:14:58.520 --> 0:15:00.840 you're about to see this crazy clip on in Stagram, 0:15:00.840 --> 0:15:03.760 whereas like I feel like I feel like someone who 0:15:03.920 --> 0:15:06.640 isn't um in the industry so to speak, might feel 0:15:06.640 --> 0:15:09.000 a little insecure about that. And I'm also projecting from 0:15:09.080 --> 0:15:11.480 past partners because Old Bay is great with it. He 0:15:11.520 --> 0:15:13.640 don't give a fuck, you know what I'm saying, And 0:15:13.960 --> 0:15:17.600 he works in tech. But I do find that people 0:15:17.720 --> 0:15:22.200 that are creative just start easier to move with, move 0:15:22.240 --> 0:15:26.360 along with. Also moreover, it's funny because I feel like 0:15:26.480 --> 0:15:31.360 industry or creatives, they don't really give a fuck if 0:15:31.400 --> 0:15:33.640 I'm a hoe in their head or not if their 0:15:33.640 --> 0:15:35.800 friends think I'm a hoe. They don't care what anyone's 0:15:35.800 --> 0:15:38.800 gonna like, you know, pick up on Instagram or like 0:15:38.840 --> 0:15:40.680 circle around in their group chat, like, they don't give 0:15:40.680 --> 0:15:42.840 a funk. They understand. Like a lot of this is 0:15:43.160 --> 0:15:46.200 performance that you're doing that you have to you know, 0:15:46.360 --> 0:15:49.480 be a personality, be open, be fun, do the flirty ship, 0:15:49.680 --> 0:15:52.160 and you know, be sexy on Instagram Like that is 0:15:52.200 --> 0:15:54.360 a lot of our brands. You know what I'm saying that, 0:15:54.520 --> 0:15:56.320 have you guys ever dated someone who was almost like 0:15:56.320 --> 0:15:59.800 competitive towards you because of what you guys do? No, 0:16:00.040 --> 0:16:03.960 Like my X hits all of this. He he's private, 0:16:04.360 --> 0:16:07.080 so he like, and I think that when we first 0:16:07.080 --> 0:16:10.520 started talking again, it was the pandemic, so he didn't 0:16:10.560 --> 0:16:13.320 realize the reach I had. And then when he started 0:16:13.360 --> 0:16:15.360 like bringing me up to friends and things like that, 0:16:15.720 --> 0:16:19.280 he's like, oh, so people I know like listen to 0:16:19.320 --> 0:16:22.880 your show and now they know about everything, like me 0:16:23.000 --> 0:16:26.520 sharing a lot of our intimate moments. And yeah, because 0:16:26.520 --> 0:16:29.680 like now he's like like the way he carries himself, 0:16:29.720 --> 0:16:34.400 he's just very statuesque to himself, private, and like now 0:16:34.440 --> 0:16:36.880 his friends know like the sex clubs and what we 0:16:36.920 --> 0:16:39.080 do on our spirit time. And I think that was 0:16:39.120 --> 0:16:42.240 just a lot for people that he knows from work 0:16:42.320 --> 0:16:45.080 and from just like for years not knowing what he 0:16:45.120 --> 0:16:47.240 does in the bedroom. So like we've had a lot 0:16:47.280 --> 0:16:51.000 of talks about that. Do you ask for consent about it? Um? 0:16:51.160 --> 0:16:54.280 Yes and no, Like it wasn't a problem until it 0:16:54.320 --> 0:16:56.120 was a problem, and then I was like, well, nig, 0:16:56.360 --> 0:16:58.240 just so you know, we prerecorded still for the next 0:16:58.280 --> 0:17:01.920 month and a half. It's already recorded, you know, it's already. 0:17:01.920 --> 0:17:05.000 I'm gonna share this because it's making me think of 0:17:05.040 --> 0:17:06.640 something and I wasn't going to talk about it. But 0:17:07.400 --> 0:17:13.560 someone I dated is dating someone new and I had. 0:17:14.880 --> 0:17:16.760 At first, I thought it was her, but I don't 0:17:16.800 --> 0:17:19.880 think it is anymore. I got a page that tagged 0:17:19.880 --> 0:17:23.399 her and I both on Twitter, sending me an article 0:17:24.520 --> 0:17:28.280 that this person wrote. And in the article they talked 0:17:28.320 --> 0:17:31.280 about their partner who was the partner that I used 0:17:31.280 --> 0:17:37.840 to date, and how I was sharing intimate details of 0:17:37.880 --> 0:17:42.560 our sex life and they weren't happy about it. And 0:17:42.880 --> 0:17:45.679 it was the new girlfriend was not happy. I don't know, 0:17:45.760 --> 0:17:50.359 like she wrote an article about this. Oh got you sorry? 0:17:50.359 --> 0:17:54.920 I wasn't making that clear and when um. The only 0:17:54.960 --> 0:17:56.879 reason I read it is because that person tagged me 0:17:56.920 --> 0:17:58.800 in it, and they were like, oh, she's calling you out. 0:17:59.119 --> 0:18:01.800 I don't a lot. It's not so. I thought it 0:18:01.880 --> 0:18:03.840 was gonna be like bar for bar, but it wasn't. 0:18:03.840 --> 0:18:07.160 It was vague and it may not have been about me. However, 0:18:07.640 --> 0:18:09.560 there was something very specific they let me know. As 0:18:09.640 --> 0:18:12.359 me said, this person is sharing intimate sex details about 0:18:12.359 --> 0:18:16.000 our life and they're making content on the profit from 0:18:16.040 --> 0:18:19.520 the platform and basically saying that their partner expressed to 0:18:19.600 --> 0:18:23.359 her that he didn't like that. This to me was 0:18:23.440 --> 0:18:27.199 very insulting to read, especially because obviously consent is our 0:18:27.280 --> 0:18:29.600 fucking ship. You know what I'm saying. There's niggase that fun. 0:18:29.720 --> 0:18:31.960 I've never talked about a horrible can't talk about on 0:18:32.040 --> 0:18:33.880 horrible because they're like, it doesn't matter if you don't 0:18:33.880 --> 0:18:36.000 say my name, like please don't. It makes me uncomfortable. 0:18:36.920 --> 0:18:40.280 This person that she's talking about was not only someone 0:18:40.520 --> 0:18:43.920 that I was consenting with discussing with, would share the 0:18:43.960 --> 0:18:47.879 episode with his friends, would tell people their name, would 0:18:47.960 --> 0:18:50.520 like be excited about it, laughed about it with me, 0:18:50.840 --> 0:18:54.280 like never once ever told me that they weren't happy 0:18:54.320 --> 0:18:57.280 about it. I asked if I could share these details, 0:18:57.800 --> 0:19:01.639 and so I think, what's happening and what can happen 0:19:01.800 --> 0:19:03.360 and just making me think about what you just said 0:19:03.480 --> 0:19:07.240 is people change their mind or can act like they 0:19:07.320 --> 0:19:09.280 change their mind depending on the partner, because it ain't 0:19:09.600 --> 0:19:12.920 him what he thought of me. You're dating someone knew 0:19:12.920 --> 0:19:14.920 who might have been like, wow, you were dating a 0:19:14.960 --> 0:19:18.520 sex podcaster, So now you're probably telling this bitch, Yeah, 0:19:18.680 --> 0:19:20.399 she just go up there and talk about this stuff, 0:19:20.440 --> 0:19:22.400 and like that's the only thing I could think because 0:19:22.440 --> 0:19:25.040 I had never fucking did that. I was really like 0:19:25.200 --> 0:19:27.239 upset when I read it, because to me, to make 0:19:27.320 --> 0:19:29.080 someone feel violated it is not what I want to do, 0:19:29.720 --> 0:19:32.480 you know what I'm saying. And to know that like 0:19:32.640 --> 0:19:34.480 you expressed it to someone in that way, I'm like, 0:19:35.119 --> 0:19:37.479 either you were performing for this bitch, trying to make 0:19:37.520 --> 0:19:39.879 yourself seem like something like I don't know, but it 0:19:40.040 --> 0:19:42.200 wasn't what I did. And I think the reason that 0:19:42.320 --> 0:19:45.680 happens is because afterwards, when dating someone in the public eye, 0:19:46.760 --> 0:19:49.960 you're sitting there probably thinking about what you let happen 0:19:50.040 --> 0:19:52.760 because maybe you were in love. I mean, but not 0:19:52.920 --> 0:19:54.960 only that, it's it's to the point where it's like, 0:19:55.160 --> 0:19:57.000 and I know you've said this when you were also 0:19:57.080 --> 0:20:00.280 reach it's like when we're out, people come up to 0:20:00.440 --> 0:20:02.960 him and now act like they know who he is. 0:20:03.560 --> 0:20:07.080 And so when that when the people leave us, he's like, 0:20:07.400 --> 0:20:10.640 what does that person know about me? Because he knows 0:20:10.680 --> 0:20:12.760 I'm on this show weekly and we talk and so 0:20:13.359 --> 0:20:16.359 it's more so like now there's strangers that think that 0:20:16.440 --> 0:20:19.080 they know who he is, and so that's you know, 0:20:19.240 --> 0:20:21.960 that's another part of it. But um, it's weird because 0:20:22.080 --> 0:20:26.119 like when we talk about let's say, like the Brittany 0:20:26.200 --> 0:20:28.720 Runners or the Superheads, the girls that made books about 0:20:29.040 --> 0:20:31.720 all these people, I know that you know a part 0:20:31.800 --> 0:20:34.760 of you know, our our idea that or even when 0:20:34.840 --> 0:20:37.040 like rappers come out and say that they fucked with 0:20:37.440 --> 0:20:40.919 certain girls, one of our quick responses were like, well, 0:20:40.960 --> 0:20:43.200 what if that other person didn't want to know, didn't 0:20:43.200 --> 0:20:45.440 want everyone to know about this. I think that I 0:20:45.520 --> 0:20:47.879