1 00:00:05,440 --> 00:00:08,840 Speaker 1: Hi, Welcome back to the Carol Markowitz Show on iHeartRadio. 2 00:00:09,280 --> 00:00:13,800 Speaker 1: I had two conversations recently where the person said something 3 00:00:13,960 --> 00:00:18,200 Speaker 1: like women are choosing career over relationships and that's why 4 00:00:18,360 --> 00:00:21,880 Speaker 1: marriage rates are down. I know this is a standard line. 5 00:00:22,079 --> 00:00:24,680 Speaker 1: People say it all the time, people have said it 6 00:00:24,680 --> 00:00:28,880 Speaker 1: on my show before, but I don't quite agree. I've 7 00:00:28,920 --> 00:00:32,360 Speaker 1: known lots of career women in my life, and I'm 8 00:00:32,360 --> 00:00:37,800 Speaker 1: talking titans of industry and girl bosses with MLM scams, 9 00:00:38,640 --> 00:00:41,240 Speaker 1: and they're always trying to meet a man at the 10 00:00:41,320 --> 00:00:45,639 Speaker 1: beginning of their careers in the middle always They may 11 00:00:45,680 --> 00:00:49,239 Speaker 1: have less time to devote to it, sure, but some 12 00:00:49,280 --> 00:00:53,000 Speaker 1: of them do treat it like another job. There are 13 00:00:53,040 --> 00:00:56,880 Speaker 1: times in your life that are right for finding your person. Yes, 14 00:00:57,160 --> 00:00:59,840 Speaker 1: it's probably not going to be the year you're trying 15 00:00:59,880 --> 00:01:03,760 Speaker 1: to make partner, but it won't be your career that's 16 00:01:03,760 --> 00:01:06,959 Speaker 1: standing in the way for a decade or more. The 17 00:01:07,040 --> 00:01:12,280 Speaker 1: problem from the woman's perspective, I think is they believe 18 00:01:12,319 --> 00:01:15,520 Speaker 1: they have more time than they do, so they might 19 00:01:15,600 --> 00:01:19,119 Speaker 1: spend their twenties in a dead end relationship with maybe 20 00:01:19,200 --> 00:01:22,039 Speaker 1: even a good guy, but someone they don't plan to 21 00:01:22,160 --> 00:01:25,200 Speaker 1: marry or have kids with. And sometimes the guy is 22 00:01:25,240 --> 00:01:27,760 Speaker 1: not that good. I can think of many examples of 23 00:01:27,800 --> 00:01:30,200 Speaker 1: women in my life who wasted many years on a 24 00:01:30,240 --> 00:01:34,560 Speaker 1: guy they knew all along wasn't right for them. Often 25 00:01:35,160 --> 00:01:38,160 Speaker 1: they are dazzled by his looks. That's a very common thing, 26 00:01:38,640 --> 00:01:40,440 Speaker 1: and they don't want to let go of someone who's 27 00:01:40,520 --> 00:01:43,360 Speaker 1: nice to them and looks good when they're around. So 28 00:01:43,400 --> 00:01:45,600 Speaker 1: I think the whole I just focused on my career 29 00:01:45,959 --> 00:01:49,640 Speaker 1: is actually what women tell themselves to console themselves when 30 00:01:49,640 --> 00:01:52,240 Speaker 1: it doesn't go the way that they hope in a relationship. 31 00:01:52,640 --> 00:01:55,200 Speaker 1: If I were giving advice to a young women, I 32 00:01:55,320 --> 00:01:58,680 Speaker 1: tell them that they have less time than they think. 33 00:01:59,240 --> 00:02:02,120 Speaker 1: And I get that they hear this elsewhere biological clock 34 00:02:02,160 --> 00:02:04,600 Speaker 1: and all that, but that's not even what I mean. 35 00:02:05,720 --> 00:02:08,560 Speaker 1: I mean, don't waste your time with people who you 36 00:02:08,680 --> 00:02:11,920 Speaker 1: know aren't right for you. Just to have someone It 37 00:02:11,919 --> 00:02:14,960 Speaker 1: could easily end up being five or ten years that 38 00:02:15,280 --> 00:02:18,880 Speaker 1: shoot right by you. And yes, you'll look back at 39 00:02:18,880 --> 00:02:21,720 Speaker 1: that time and you'll say, oh, I was building my career, 40 00:02:22,360 --> 00:02:25,440 Speaker 1: But really you were tied up with someone who wasn't 41 00:02:25,480 --> 00:02:27,639 Speaker 1: going to be the one for you. If you could 42 00:02:27,680 --> 00:02:31,560 Speaker 1: figure that out early and leave yourself space and time 43 00:02:32,440 --> 00:02:35,400 Speaker 1: to meet the person you actually want to marry, and 44 00:02:35,520 --> 00:02:38,639 Speaker 1: please go ahead have the career too. You'll be in 45 00:02:38,680 --> 00:02:43,040 Speaker 1: a much better spot than spending time with someone who's 46 00:02:43,120 --> 00:02:45,560 Speaker 1: kind of a placeholder for the one you actually want. 47 00:02:45,919 --> 00:02:49,560 Speaker 1: Thanks for listening. Coming up next and interview with Ian Haworth. 48 00:02:49,800 --> 00:02:51,000 Speaker 1: Join us after the break. 49 00:02:54,280 --> 00:02:57,640 Speaker 2: Welcome back to the Carol Markowitz Show on iHeartRadio. My 50 00:02:57,760 --> 00:03:02,240 Speaker 2: guest today is Ian Howarth. Ian is a syndicated columnist, speaker, 51 00:03:02,360 --> 00:03:05,360 Speaker 2: and podcast host. Hi, Ian, so nice to have you 52 00:03:05,400 --> 00:03:06,600 Speaker 2: on CAYL. 53 00:03:06,680 --> 00:03:07,359 Speaker 3: Thanks for having me. 54 00:03:08,040 --> 00:03:12,000 Speaker 2: So I've been reading you for a long time, but 55 00:03:12,120 --> 00:03:15,640 Speaker 2: I don't see any particular beat in your work except 56 00:03:15,680 --> 00:03:19,480 Speaker 2: since October seventh. You've obviously covered a lot about Israel 57 00:03:19,520 --> 00:03:22,920 Speaker 2: and Jewish issues. Did you have one like something that 58 00:03:22,960 --> 00:03:25,120 Speaker 2: you particularly focused on before that? 59 00:03:26,080 --> 00:03:28,799 Speaker 3: Anti Semitism was always one of my main focuses. It's 60 00:03:28,800 --> 00:03:30,919 Speaker 3: actually how I got into this space in the first place. 61 00:03:30,960 --> 00:03:33,840 Speaker 3: So for those listening who've never heard of me or 62 00:03:33,880 --> 00:03:36,120 Speaker 3: haven't followed my work particularly long, it's cut used to 63 00:03:36,120 --> 00:03:38,160 Speaker 3: work in I used to work in big tech before this, 64 00:03:38,400 --> 00:03:40,760 Speaker 3: So before this stuff, I did the learned to code thing, 65 00:03:40,800 --> 00:03:45,040 Speaker 3: but completely backwards. So I graduated from opposite university with 66 00:03:45,120 --> 00:03:47,440 Speaker 3: bachelor's and masters in computer science. And the way it 67 00:03:47,480 --> 00:03:50,080 Speaker 3: works in the UK is you do just one subject 68 00:03:50,120 --> 00:03:52,280 Speaker 3: for your entire college experience. So I know people love 69 00:03:52,320 --> 00:03:54,320 Speaker 3: to joke about, you know, you do like one art 70 00:03:54,360 --> 00:03:56,680 Speaker 3: class here, you do a women's studies thing here, and 71 00:03:56,840 --> 00:03:59,000 Speaker 3: all of these nonsense courses they made up. Now I 72 00:03:59,080 --> 00:04:01,600 Speaker 3: just did one thing, which is good it makes you 73 00:04:01,640 --> 00:04:04,680 Speaker 3: an expert in something, but also means you're really only 74 00:04:04,720 --> 00:04:08,320 Speaker 3: qualified to do one thing. So I always knew I 75 00:04:08,360 --> 00:04:10,080 Speaker 3: wanted to come to America. That was like one of 76 00:04:10,480 --> 00:04:13,040 Speaker 3: one of my goals, one of my dreams. So after graduating, 77 00:04:13,440 --> 00:04:15,480 Speaker 3: move over to Silicon Valley and was working as a 78 00:04:15,480 --> 00:04:17,720 Speaker 3: software engine theer and a bunch of different companies, and 79 00:04:18,080 --> 00:04:19,960 Speaker 3: I was actually at Facebook at the time. I worked 80 00:04:19,960 --> 00:04:22,760 Speaker 3: at Facebook for about four years or so. And it 81 00:04:22,760 --> 00:04:25,400 Speaker 3: was in twenty eighteen when it was the Pittsburgh Synagogue shooting, 82 00:04:25,920 --> 00:04:28,240 Speaker 3: and I was looking around, you know, Silicon Valley, the 83 00:04:28,240 --> 00:04:31,920 Speaker 3: Bay Area, California. It's very left wing, well the coastal 84 00:04:31,960 --> 00:04:34,240 Speaker 3: areas of California are very left wing. And I was 85 00:04:34,279 --> 00:04:38,880 Speaker 3: looking at all these supposedly tolerant, supposedly compassionate people, seeing 86 00:04:38,920 --> 00:04:43,120 Speaker 3: what was happening and really either ignoring it or making 87 00:04:43,160 --> 00:04:46,320 Speaker 3: it an attack on right wing people and using it 88 00:04:46,320 --> 00:04:48,680 Speaker 3: as a weapon, and then really kind of snowballed there. 89 00:04:48,680 --> 00:04:50,760 Speaker 3: I was like one of the few conservatives I knew 90 00:04:50,880 --> 00:04:52,960 Speaker 3: in that area, and I thought, well, this might be 91 00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:54,960 Speaker 3: a good opportunity for me just to speak out and 92 00:04:55,080 --> 00:04:57,800 Speaker 3: provide a voice for right wing people in that space, 93 00:04:58,200 --> 00:05:00,240 Speaker 3: and it just snowballed from there. So I too about 94 00:05:00,240 --> 00:05:02,839 Speaker 3: antemptism a lot, but really I try and talk about 95 00:05:02,960 --> 00:05:05,960 Speaker 3: any issue I think is important, because really everything is 96 00:05:06,000 --> 00:05:09,120 Speaker 3: all encompassing. We like to focus on a single issue, 97 00:05:09,200 --> 00:05:11,760 Speaker 3: I think, which makes sense if you're a journalist. I've 98 00:05:11,760 --> 00:05:13,599 Speaker 3: never really seen myself as a journalist. I just like 99 00:05:13,640 --> 00:05:16,240 Speaker 3: to talk about things I find interesting and important. I 100 00:05:16,560 --> 00:05:18,360 Speaker 3: try and push the needle in the right direction. 101 00:05:19,520 --> 00:05:22,280 Speaker 2: It's so interesting because I was writing about anti semitism 102 00:05:22,320 --> 00:05:25,400 Speaker 2: a lot even before Pittsburgh. But Pittsburgh was the one 103 00:05:25,560 --> 00:05:28,520 Speaker 2: anti Semitic attack that the people around me when I 104 00:05:28,560 --> 00:05:30,800 Speaker 2: lived in Brooklyn did want to talk about because it 105 00:05:30,839 --> 00:05:33,680 Speaker 2: appeared to be somebody, you know, a crazed right winger, 106 00:05:35,080 --> 00:05:38,800 Speaker 2: and so that was the attack that they did kind 107 00:05:38,839 --> 00:05:43,039 Speaker 2: of circulate opinions on, and the rabbi commented, you know, 108 00:05:43,040 --> 00:05:46,279 Speaker 2: it's a local, like very leftist reform synagogue. But the 109 00:05:46,360 --> 00:05:48,920 Speaker 2: other attacks that had been going on in Brooklyn for years, 110 00:05:48,960 --> 00:05:52,279 Speaker 2: they didn't say a word because the perpetrators weren't wearing 111 00:05:52,360 --> 00:05:55,440 Speaker 2: Maga hats. So it's funny that that's what spurred you 112 00:05:55,600 --> 00:05:59,440 Speaker 2: into the political world. Do you ever miss, you know, 113 00:05:59,560 --> 00:06:00,400 Speaker 2: the tech world. 114 00:06:01,760 --> 00:06:04,680 Speaker 3: I do and I don't. I think I very much 115 00:06:04,760 --> 00:06:06,800 Speaker 3: enjoy being my own person and just being able to 116 00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:08,520 Speaker 3: say what I think. I think it's a real honor 117 00:06:08,520 --> 00:06:10,039 Speaker 3: to be able to do that, to have a job 118 00:06:10,080 --> 00:06:12,160 Speaker 3: that allows you to do that. I think a lot 119 00:06:12,200 --> 00:06:14,520 Speaker 3: of people who think the same way as I do. 120 00:06:14,600 --> 00:06:16,960 Speaker 3: I knew a lot of conservatives who worked in tech 121 00:06:17,000 --> 00:06:19,320 Speaker 3: who worked in other industries. They have to keep their 122 00:06:19,360 --> 00:06:21,320 Speaker 3: mouth shut, right, and so being able to be a 123 00:06:21,400 --> 00:06:24,159 Speaker 3: voice for those people is really wonderful. I think I 124 00:06:24,200 --> 00:06:26,960 Speaker 3: miss elements of it. I think every industry has its perps, right. 125 00:06:27,240 --> 00:06:29,039 Speaker 3: It was amazing to work on some of the projects 126 00:06:29,120 --> 00:06:30,719 Speaker 3: that you get to work with in that space, to 127 00:06:30,800 --> 00:06:33,200 Speaker 3: work with some of the people, like the creativity. It's true, 128 00:06:33,240 --> 00:06:35,760 Speaker 3: the sense of the world in terms of that area 129 00:06:35,920 --> 00:06:39,720 Speaker 3: of innovation and things like that, but it's just what 130 00:06:39,720 --> 00:06:42,200 Speaker 3: I'm doing now I find much more kind of motivating 131 00:06:42,440 --> 00:06:46,000 Speaker 3: and much more rewarding on a personal level because I 132 00:06:46,040 --> 00:06:49,960 Speaker 3: feel like, for me looking at it, my main goal 133 00:06:50,080 --> 00:06:52,720 Speaker 3: was just to affect some kind of change, and positive change. Obviously, 134 00:06:52,800 --> 00:06:54,160 Speaker 3: there's a lot of people out that are trying to 135 00:06:54,160 --> 00:06:56,559 Speaker 3: affect any kind of change, just that negative, sure, whatever, 136 00:06:56,600 --> 00:06:58,719 Speaker 3: don't get the clicks, But for me, it was always 137 00:06:58,720 --> 00:07:00,599 Speaker 3: about the positive change. And I found that working in 138 00:07:00,600 --> 00:07:05,599 Speaker 3: the software space, it wasn't something I truly loved. And 139 00:07:05,600 --> 00:07:07,720 Speaker 3: I don't think everyone needs to find something they truly 140 00:07:07,760 --> 00:07:09,920 Speaker 3: love in work because you get other things from it. 141 00:07:10,000 --> 00:07:12,360 Speaker 3: But this was kind of a whole in my heart 142 00:07:12,400 --> 00:07:14,480 Speaker 3: in a lot of ways, and it was something I 143 00:07:14,520 --> 00:07:16,680 Speaker 3: was good at but didn't enjoy. And so I think 144 00:07:16,800 --> 00:07:18,760 Speaker 3: doing this, you know, I'm still kind of finding my way. 145 00:07:18,920 --> 00:07:20,920 Speaker 3: I'm compared to a lot of people, I'm relatively new, 146 00:07:21,600 --> 00:07:24,160 Speaker 3: but I get a lot more enjoyment out of it, 147 00:07:24,160 --> 00:07:26,520 Speaker 3: a lot more fulfillment out of it by changing someone's 148 00:07:26,560 --> 00:07:28,640 Speaker 3: mind or something, or affecting a pace of change on 149 00:07:28,680 --> 00:07:31,360 Speaker 3: something that truly matters, rather than just cranking out a 150 00:07:31,360 --> 00:07:33,840 Speaker 3: product that someone else could do that job and I'd 151 00:07:33,880 --> 00:07:36,360 Speaker 3: like to think that what I do only I could 152 00:07:36,400 --> 00:07:38,040 Speaker 3: put out what I think in the way I do it, 153 00:07:38,080 --> 00:07:40,239 Speaker 3: And I think that's true of everyone and their opinions. 154 00:07:40,240 --> 00:07:42,880 Speaker 3: Everyone is unique in that way, and so I don't 155 00:07:42,920 --> 00:07:45,360 Speaker 3: really miss it. There's obviously pieces I missed. The free 156 00:07:45,360 --> 00:07:48,600 Speaker 3: food was pretty amazing, but otherwise, no, I'm pretty happy 157 00:07:48,600 --> 00:07:49,400 Speaker 3: where I am right now. 158 00:07:49,560 --> 00:07:51,720 Speaker 2: Yeah, we don't get free food in the podcast world, 159 00:07:51,760 --> 00:07:55,040 Speaker 2: which I think is unfair. We really do need the 160 00:07:55,080 --> 00:08:00,679 Speaker 2: free food. So you're doing something meaningful, and it's still 161 00:08:00,760 --> 00:08:04,440 Speaker 2: a very hard subject to be covering. Do you feel 162 00:08:04,480 --> 00:08:08,720 Speaker 2: optimism or We're recording this a few days after the 163 00:08:08,720 --> 00:08:11,360 Speaker 2: return of the Bbis Family, and obviously it's been a 164 00:08:11,440 --> 00:08:16,240 Speaker 2: very difficult time, really sad, kind of somber a few days. 165 00:08:16,800 --> 00:08:19,600 Speaker 2: Do you have a sense of optimism right now or 166 00:08:19,840 --> 00:08:22,960 Speaker 2: is it kind of bad times for the foreseeable future. 167 00:08:23,960 --> 00:08:26,640 Speaker 3: I try and not look at it in those terms 168 00:08:26,680 --> 00:08:29,920 Speaker 3: because I think it's somewhat unrealistic. Again, I don't want 169 00:08:29,920 --> 00:08:31,600 Speaker 3: to say I'm just a realist, because I think that 170 00:08:31,680 --> 00:08:35,040 Speaker 3: can be almost pessimistic within different branding. The way I 171 00:08:35,040 --> 00:08:37,240 Speaker 3: try and look at it is just taking one step 172 00:08:37,280 --> 00:08:42,400 Speaker 3: forward every single day and I have optimism for the 173 00:08:42,440 --> 00:08:45,000 Speaker 3: people I think who are pushing the right ideas. I 174 00:08:45,000 --> 00:08:46,840 Speaker 3: think there's a lot of Jewish people who have woken 175 00:08:46,880 --> 00:08:48,559 Speaker 3: up and really been vocal and stood up in a 176 00:08:48,600 --> 00:08:51,800 Speaker 3: way that I haven't seen in my lifetime. So I'm 177 00:08:51,800 --> 00:08:55,960 Speaker 3: optimistic about that. I'm optimistic about Jewish communities fighting for 178 00:08:56,240 --> 00:08:57,880 Speaker 3: their own right to stay on their own two feet 179 00:08:57,880 --> 00:09:01,760 Speaker 3: and not be persecuted into the ground, which sounds like 180 00:09:01,840 --> 00:09:03,400 Speaker 3: a normal thing that most people would do, but for 181 00:09:03,400 --> 00:09:05,520 Speaker 3: a lot of Jewish communities in my lifetime, I've looked 182 00:09:05,520 --> 00:09:08,319 Speaker 3: around and I've seen people shrink into the shadows and 183 00:09:08,840 --> 00:09:11,520 Speaker 3: just let things go. And so I think I'm optimistic 184 00:09:11,520 --> 00:09:13,640 Speaker 3: in that way. The way I approach things like an 185 00:09:13,679 --> 00:09:15,360 Speaker 3: sempitism those I try and do it from a just 186 00:09:15,400 --> 00:09:18,840 Speaker 3: a realistic perspective of trying to truly get through to 187 00:09:18,840 --> 00:09:20,920 Speaker 3: people of the enemy we are facing and the evil 188 00:09:20,920 --> 00:09:23,680 Speaker 3: we are facing, because I think you can find optimism 189 00:09:23,760 --> 00:09:26,840 Speaker 3: and pessimism in everything, but it's very easy to be 190 00:09:26,840 --> 00:09:29,200 Speaker 3: pessimistic in the face of what we're seeing, which is 191 00:09:29,320 --> 00:09:31,520 Speaker 3: rampant ant semptism across the world and in the United 192 00:09:31,559 --> 00:09:34,880 Speaker 3: States and on college campuses. But then I find that 193 00:09:34,920 --> 00:09:38,360 Speaker 3: almost motivating because that just speaks to the importance of 194 00:09:38,360 --> 00:09:42,719 Speaker 3: everyone stepping up. So I'm optimistic in a way if 195 00:09:42,720 --> 00:09:44,760 Speaker 3: people keep making these steps. But it's something we have 196 00:09:44,840 --> 00:09:48,520 Speaker 3: to keep moving forward. We have to keep approaching this 197 00:09:48,600 --> 00:09:51,000 Speaker 3: with the same relentless that our enemies are doing, because 198 00:09:51,320 --> 00:09:53,240 Speaker 3: one day we back off, one day we let it go, 199 00:09:53,679 --> 00:09:56,040 Speaker 3: and then we're back to where we were before October seventh, 200 00:09:56,080 --> 00:09:58,200 Speaker 3: and it will keep happening. So I know that's an 201 00:09:58,280 --> 00:10:01,760 Speaker 3: unsatisfactory answer, it's how I feel. 202 00:10:01,960 --> 00:10:05,280 Speaker 2: Yeah, I like that. Do you have a particular strategy 203 00:10:05,440 --> 00:10:07,920 Speaker 2: for countering the arguments of the other side. 204 00:10:08,480 --> 00:10:10,720 Speaker 3: I think it's going to be speaking honestly to the 205 00:10:10,960 --> 00:10:13,240 Speaker 3: scale and the breadth of the issue, because I think 206 00:10:13,240 --> 00:10:15,080 Speaker 3: a lot of people when they talk about an Semitism, 207 00:10:15,120 --> 00:10:17,440 Speaker 3: as I mentioned before, they like to talk about what 208 00:10:17,520 --> 00:10:20,599 Speaker 3: I call politically advantageous and Semitism. So you'll see a 209 00:10:20,640 --> 00:10:23,040 Speaker 3: lot of right wing people talk about Elano, Oma, Rashida 210 00:10:23,080 --> 00:10:25,319 Speaker 3: to leave. You know, they're really easy targets. They absolutely 211 00:10:25,320 --> 00:10:27,559 Speaker 3: should talk about those people, and often people on the 212 00:10:27,600 --> 00:10:30,160 Speaker 3: left you see them talking about white supremacists and Semitism, 213 00:10:30,240 --> 00:10:32,960 Speaker 3: which again they should absolutely be talking about. But for me, 214 00:10:33,040 --> 00:10:35,400 Speaker 3: I always am kind of calling on both sides to 215 00:10:35,400 --> 00:10:37,640 Speaker 3: speak about the issue honestly, and that includes doing things 216 00:10:37,640 --> 00:10:40,600 Speaker 3: that might not be so politically advantageous, you know. So 217 00:10:40,679 --> 00:10:43,320 Speaker 3: when someone like Tucker Carlson, for example, comes out says 218 00:10:43,320 --> 00:10:46,400 Speaker 3: something pretty broadline as semitic and sometimes not so bordline, 219 00:10:46,559 --> 00:10:47,800 Speaker 3: and a lot of people who want to get on 220 00:10:47,800 --> 00:10:50,079 Speaker 3: his show are just pretty quiet. But if you saw 221 00:10:50,160 --> 00:10:52,520 Speaker 3: ilan Omar Rashida Sleeve say exactly the same thing, they 222 00:10:52,520 --> 00:10:54,760 Speaker 3: would be up in arms cracking out content about it. 223 00:10:55,120 --> 00:10:56,920 Speaker 3: And so I think for me, it's just about having 224 00:10:56,920 --> 00:11:00,120 Speaker 3: that conversation honestly, do you care about Anthemitism or do 225 00:11:00,120 --> 00:11:02,400 Speaker 3: you care about it? Is one as many tools to 226 00:11:02,559 --> 00:11:05,840 Speaker 3: promote yourself or your brand or your political movement. And 227 00:11:05,880 --> 00:11:08,480 Speaker 3: I think that's what I'm seeing a lot of positives 228 00:11:08,520 --> 00:11:11,000 Speaker 3: in kind of the so called Jewish movement right now, 229 00:11:11,080 --> 00:11:13,840 Speaker 3: is because it's really apolitical in a lot of ways. 230 00:11:14,760 --> 00:11:16,679 Speaker 3: I've made a lot of connections with people that prior 231 00:11:16,679 --> 00:11:18,920 Speaker 3: to walk to over seventh would never have spoken to 232 00:11:18,920 --> 00:11:22,080 Speaker 3: me because I'm a gasp conservative, right, But I think 233 00:11:22,120 --> 00:11:24,240 Speaker 3: now we're actually seeing people come together and realizing this 234 00:11:24,320 --> 00:11:26,760 Speaker 3: is more than politics. So I think that's a great thing, 235 00:11:27,240 --> 00:11:27,640 Speaker 3: that is. 236 00:11:27,760 --> 00:11:31,240 Speaker 2: I actually have been so impressed with how many Jews 237 00:11:31,240 --> 00:11:33,360 Speaker 2: have woken up. I still think there's so many more 238 00:11:33,440 --> 00:11:36,880 Speaker 2: to go, obviously, but I've had so many friends who 239 00:11:37,320 --> 00:11:39,880 Speaker 2: are awake and alert after October seventh in a way 240 00:11:39,880 --> 00:11:41,160 Speaker 2: that they never had been before. 241 00:11:41,200 --> 00:11:43,520 Speaker 1: And they always had seen that threat in. 242 00:11:43,480 --> 00:11:47,000 Speaker 2: The distance, but never so close up. I guess my 243 00:11:47,200 --> 00:11:50,760 Speaker 2: thinking on the anti Semitism of the right is it's 244 00:11:50,800 --> 00:11:54,160 Speaker 2: a lot less obvious. I mean, forget about the you know, 245 00:11:54,200 --> 00:11:57,520 Speaker 2: the crazy podcasters who say insane things, and you know 246 00:11:57,720 --> 00:12:00,480 Speaker 2: the I don't know, the various people on the right 247 00:12:00,480 --> 00:12:02,320 Speaker 2: who you know, some of them I never even heard 248 00:12:02,360 --> 00:12:04,679 Speaker 2: of until they became anti Semitics. So it's kind of, 249 00:12:05,200 --> 00:12:07,680 Speaker 2: you know, with the canvass Owens and whatever. I think 250 00:12:07,679 --> 00:12:09,920 Speaker 2: the problem is that a lot of them, again not 251 00:12:10,400 --> 00:12:13,120 Speaker 2: very obvious ones, with the rest sort of danced around 252 00:12:13,160 --> 00:12:15,880 Speaker 2: the topic, and they're not very obvious in the way 253 00:12:15,880 --> 00:12:18,240 Speaker 2: that the left is, and they don't say I don't 254 00:12:18,280 --> 00:12:21,840 Speaker 2: want Israel to exist or you know, terrible things about 255 00:12:21,920 --> 00:12:26,000 Speaker 2: Jews in particular. They kind of are much more vague 256 00:12:26,120 --> 00:12:28,360 Speaker 2: than the left. So it gets to where people are like, well, 257 00:12:28,400 --> 00:12:32,360 Speaker 2: what did they actually even say, how do you counter that? 258 00:12:33,240 --> 00:12:34,559 Speaker 3: I think a lot of that is trying to take 259 00:12:34,559 --> 00:12:36,880 Speaker 3: it on a case by case basis, at least in 260 00:12:36,920 --> 00:12:40,079 Speaker 3: my experience of trying to work out the intent behind it, 261 00:12:40,200 --> 00:12:43,199 Speaker 3: because I think sometimes there is just pure ignorance if 262 00:12:43,200 --> 00:12:46,319 Speaker 3: someone says something off the cuff or without really meaning it, 263 00:12:46,360 --> 00:12:47,640 Speaker 3: and then you actually get to the hearts of it, 264 00:12:47,720 --> 00:12:50,800 Speaker 3: and usually those people come around they actually maybe learn 265 00:12:50,840 --> 00:12:53,120 Speaker 3: something about Israel, they learn something about Jews, or they 266 00:12:53,200 --> 00:12:56,480 Speaker 3: learn something about the history of antemitism that is motivating 267 00:12:56,520 --> 00:12:59,600 Speaker 3: that thought. Then you have people who are genuinely hateful 268 00:12:59,640 --> 00:13:03,040 Speaker 3: who just hate Jews for some unknown reason. There's always 269 00:13:03,040 --> 00:13:05,120 Speaker 3: going to be hating the world, though, I think sometimes 270 00:13:05,120 --> 00:13:07,120 Speaker 3: I don't like to make this just about Jews, because 271 00:13:07,400 --> 00:13:10,559 Speaker 3: there is hate against all groups. That's just human nature, unfortunately. 272 00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:12,800 Speaker 3: And then there's the middle ground of the people who 273 00:13:12,840 --> 00:13:15,080 Speaker 3: are trying to kind of profit from both sides. I 274 00:13:15,080 --> 00:13:17,640 Speaker 3: feel like those are the people who very carefully word 275 00:13:17,720 --> 00:13:23,840 Speaker 3: what they are saying. I'm just asking questions, very questions, 276 00:13:24,120 --> 00:13:26,840 Speaker 3: because I almost respect the people who are genuinely hateful 277 00:13:26,920 --> 00:13:28,800 Speaker 3: more than the people who are just kind of playing 278 00:13:28,840 --> 00:13:32,880 Speaker 3: this cowardly game where they're trying to attract the people 279 00:13:32,880 --> 00:13:35,280 Speaker 3: who are ignorant, they're trying to pander to the people 280 00:13:35,280 --> 00:13:38,439 Speaker 3: who are hateful, but they're also trying to leave an 281 00:13:38,600 --> 00:13:41,319 Speaker 3: escape route. Essentially, when they do get called out or 282 00:13:41,360 --> 00:13:44,600 Speaker 3: they do get at least questioned on their ridiculous views, 283 00:13:44,679 --> 00:13:47,280 Speaker 3: and they say, oh, I wasn't Actually I don't agree 284 00:13:47,280 --> 00:13:49,360 Speaker 3: with these people. I'm trying to proper from I'm not 285 00:13:49,400 --> 00:13:53,160 Speaker 3: like them. I'm just asking questions. I find that quite exhausting. 286 00:13:53,200 --> 00:13:55,040 Speaker 3: I stay away from those people because I don't think 287 00:13:55,080 --> 00:13:59,240 Speaker 3: they're genuine I find much more success in reaching the 288 00:13:59,280 --> 00:14:02,040 Speaker 3: people who genuinely hate me or her genuinely anger, and 289 00:14:02,120 --> 00:14:05,560 Speaker 3: I don't think those people are I don't want to 290 00:14:05,640 --> 00:14:07,120 Speaker 3: necessarily say it this way, but I don't think those 291 00:14:07,160 --> 00:14:09,560 Speaker 3: two people are as bad as the people who are 292 00:14:09,600 --> 00:14:11,960 Speaker 3: playing both sides because I don't know what you mean. Yeah, 293 00:14:12,080 --> 00:14:15,440 Speaker 3: fully knowing what they're doing. But I think someone who's hateful, 294 00:14:15,480 --> 00:14:17,360 Speaker 3: you can reach them. You've just got to get to 295 00:14:17,400 --> 00:14:20,000 Speaker 3: the root of their hate. And it's something I think 296 00:14:20,000 --> 00:14:21,800 Speaker 3: we should all be spending time on. Obviously, there are 297 00:14:21,800 --> 00:14:23,760 Speaker 3: some things who cannot be reached. There's a lot of 298 00:14:23,760 --> 00:14:25,800 Speaker 3: people on the edge that if you just reach out 299 00:14:25,840 --> 00:14:28,000 Speaker 3: to them with love and kindness, you can make a 300 00:14:28,040 --> 00:14:28,680 Speaker 3: huge difference. 301 00:14:29,120 --> 00:14:32,640 Speaker 2: Yeah. My co author of the book I wrote, Stolen Nuth, 302 00:14:32,680 --> 00:14:35,760 Speaker 2: Bethany Mandel, she once wrote an article about how we 303 00:14:35,800 --> 00:14:39,120 Speaker 2: should be trying to convince neo Nazis like away from 304 00:14:39,240 --> 00:14:42,480 Speaker 2: neo Nazism, and it gets thrown in her face all 305 00:14:42,520 --> 00:14:45,040 Speaker 2: the time, like people are constantly like tweeting that article 306 00:14:45,080 --> 00:14:46,840 Speaker 2: back at her, like how dare you have said this? 307 00:14:47,160 --> 00:14:50,560 Speaker 2: And then a few years ago, of course aoc A 308 00:14:50,640 --> 00:14:53,920 Speaker 2: Passio Cortez she said the same thing, and that became 309 00:14:54,000 --> 00:14:55,880 Speaker 2: an okay thing to say, Like, if you have family 310 00:14:55,920 --> 00:14:58,840 Speaker 2: members drifting into this kind of hate, you know, try 311 00:14:58,840 --> 00:15:01,200 Speaker 2: to try to get them back, try to argue points 312 00:15:01,200 --> 00:15:03,720 Speaker 2: with them, try to show them love and be like 313 00:15:03,800 --> 00:15:05,320 Speaker 2: I still love you and I just want you to 314 00:15:05,800 --> 00:15:10,240 Speaker 2: come back to reality. It's tough, though, when you are 315 00:15:11,360 --> 00:15:14,520 Speaker 2: trying with these people who hate you. But I agree 316 00:15:14,560 --> 00:15:17,920 Speaker 2: with you that they're a lot more honest than the 317 00:15:18,040 --> 00:15:21,600 Speaker 2: dancers what I call the dancing around the reality that 318 00:15:21,760 --> 00:15:26,440 Speaker 2: just asking really stupid questions crowd. And it's interesting that 319 00:15:26,520 --> 00:15:29,840 Speaker 2: you find those people kind of more reachable. 320 00:15:31,120 --> 00:15:34,960 Speaker 3: Yeah, And because I think someone can make a mistake 321 00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:37,320 Speaker 3: of logic or a mistake of emotion, and that can 322 00:15:37,320 --> 00:15:39,840 Speaker 3: build an entire platform for a bunch of different views. 323 00:15:40,120 --> 00:15:42,480 Speaker 3: But if you get to that route, it's actually pretty 324 00:15:42,480 --> 00:15:44,880 Speaker 3: easy to solve. I you see this all the time 325 00:15:44,880 --> 00:15:47,720 Speaker 3: of people who've been hateful. Let's say, you know radical 326 00:15:47,760 --> 00:15:49,720 Speaker 3: Islamic terrorists who have come back, and now they speak 327 00:15:49,720 --> 00:15:52,080 Speaker 3: out against radical Islam and terrorism, and no one is 328 00:15:52,120 --> 00:15:54,640 Speaker 3: locked into their ideology. I think all these people can 329 00:15:54,720 --> 00:15:57,000 Speaker 3: be reached. You've always got to pick your battles, because 330 00:15:57,000 --> 00:15:58,400 Speaker 3: there are some people who are way too deep that 331 00:15:58,520 --> 00:16:01,040 Speaker 3: it's actually quite dangerous to try and reach them. But 332 00:16:01,080 --> 00:16:02,880 Speaker 3: then there's all these people on the fringe who if 333 00:16:02,920 --> 00:16:05,120 Speaker 3: you just leave them to the whims of the extreme, 334 00:16:05,680 --> 00:16:07,720 Speaker 3: then they're going to go somewhere. I think that's the 335 00:16:07,760 --> 00:16:09,920 Speaker 3: problem I've seen in a lot of media when people 336 00:16:09,920 --> 00:16:11,760 Speaker 3: speak to, for example, young men, there's a lot of 337 00:16:11,920 --> 00:16:16,160 Speaker 3: people are very dismissive and quite I think nasty in 338 00:16:16,160 --> 00:16:18,520 Speaker 3: a way of just like laughing at people who feel lost, 339 00:16:18,520 --> 00:16:21,400 Speaker 3: who don't feel supportive, who don't feel like someone truly 340 00:16:21,440 --> 00:16:24,040 Speaker 3: listens to their issues, and sure their issues compared to 341 00:16:24,080 --> 00:16:26,000 Speaker 3: other people's issues might not be as bad, or they 342 00:16:26,080 --> 00:16:28,000 Speaker 3: might have an easier time of it by nature of 343 00:16:28,000 --> 00:16:30,080 Speaker 3: their skin color, which you can have a whole can 344 00:16:30,080 --> 00:16:32,200 Speaker 3: of worms debate over. So that doesn't mean their problems 345 00:16:32,200 --> 00:16:35,120 Speaker 3: aren't important. And then we're surprised when people like Andrew 346 00:16:35,160 --> 00:16:37,600 Speaker 3: Tait and Dan Bazeri and all these people rush in 347 00:16:37,640 --> 00:16:39,480 Speaker 3: to fill the void. You know. It's like people are 348 00:16:39,480 --> 00:16:42,320 Speaker 3: complaining that these people have an audience while also ignoring 349 00:16:42,360 --> 00:16:44,640 Speaker 3: their audience. And I think that's a really important thing 350 00:16:44,640 --> 00:16:47,040 Speaker 3: that everyone needs to understand, is that if you mock people. 351 00:16:47,400 --> 00:16:49,560 Speaker 3: We've seen this in politics, we've seen in culture. If 352 00:16:49,560 --> 00:16:51,720 Speaker 3: you mock people and bully them, you can't then be 353 00:16:51,720 --> 00:16:53,960 Speaker 3: surprised when they go somewhere where they are they are 354 00:16:53,960 --> 00:16:57,920 Speaker 3: not mocked and bullied. It's like a very simple human 355 00:16:57,960 --> 00:17:00,480 Speaker 3: response is to go somewhere where you feel supported. The 356 00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:03,480 Speaker 3: problem is that being supported by people who don't actually care, right, 357 00:17:03,680 --> 00:17:04,119 Speaker 3: That is. 358 00:17:04,040 --> 00:17:06,960 Speaker 2: The that is the issue where we're pushing these people away, 359 00:17:07,080 --> 00:17:10,600 Speaker 2: or they're being pushed away and falling into the arms 360 00:17:10,600 --> 00:17:11,800 Speaker 2: of people waiting. 361 00:17:11,520 --> 00:17:12,240 Speaker 3: To accept them. 362 00:17:12,320 --> 00:17:15,840 Speaker 2: It's it's a tough, tough situation. We're going to take 363 00:17:15,840 --> 00:17:17,960 Speaker 2: a quick break and be right back on the Carol 364 00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:24,280 Speaker 2: Marcowitch show. What do you worry about? What's like on 365 00:17:24,320 --> 00:17:27,639 Speaker 2: your mind when you are you know, what's your general worry? 366 00:17:29,119 --> 00:17:31,840 Speaker 3: Ask a neurotic jew what they worry about? How long 367 00:17:31,920 --> 00:17:35,760 Speaker 3: you have? I think the highest level thing I worry 368 00:17:35,760 --> 00:17:37,960 Speaker 3: about beyond you know, my own life and you know, 369 00:17:38,000 --> 00:17:40,800 Speaker 3: my own family and that kind of thing is I 370 00:17:40,840 --> 00:17:44,880 Speaker 3: think our society taking what we have for granted and 371 00:17:45,840 --> 00:17:48,320 Speaker 3: returning to what has been the norm for the vast 372 00:17:48,320 --> 00:17:52,080 Speaker 3: majority of human kind, which is pain and suffering and tyranny, 373 00:17:52,119 --> 00:17:53,920 Speaker 3: all these kind of things. And it's not just political, 374 00:17:53,960 --> 00:17:56,880 Speaker 3: it's like a it's a very it's a very cultural 375 00:17:56,920 --> 00:18:00,159 Speaker 3: thing too. Western culture is good. I feel like we're 376 00:18:00,160 --> 00:18:02,920 Speaker 3: constantly fighting this battle of people who want to tell 377 00:18:02,960 --> 00:18:05,160 Speaker 3: you that all cultures are equal New Slash. They are 378 00:18:05,160 --> 00:18:08,280 Speaker 3: not the idea that Western culture is in some ways 379 00:18:08,920 --> 00:18:10,960 Speaker 3: far worse than the other. No. Western culture has given 380 00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:15,000 Speaker 3: us all the best things in humankind, and there's obviously 381 00:18:15,000 --> 00:18:17,800 Speaker 3: always room to improve. We're not a perfect civilization. That's 382 00:18:17,840 --> 00:18:20,240 Speaker 3: true of all humans ever. But I think everyone takes 383 00:18:20,240 --> 00:18:22,760 Speaker 3: the granted for what we have. They take for granted 384 00:18:22,800 --> 00:18:25,520 Speaker 3: the peace we have post World War Two. The peace 385 00:18:25,560 --> 00:18:29,520 Speaker 3: we have is as a result of the massive, unimaginable 386 00:18:29,520 --> 00:18:33,760 Speaker 3: sacrifice that people in their teens and twenties made in 387 00:18:33,800 --> 00:18:37,439 Speaker 3: the thirties and forties, that I couldn't see people today 388 00:18:37,440 --> 00:18:40,040 Speaker 3: making that same sacrifice. I saw people losing their mind 389 00:18:40,040 --> 00:18:42,360 Speaker 3: of not being able to buy toilet paper at quite 390 00:18:42,400 --> 00:18:45,480 Speaker 3: the same level what they did the year before. And 391 00:18:45,520 --> 00:18:49,240 Speaker 3: that's what I worry about, is because a civilization that 392 00:18:49,280 --> 00:18:51,200 Speaker 3: doesn't respect what we have and the history or what 393 00:18:51,280 --> 00:18:52,960 Speaker 3: we have and why we have it, I think is 394 00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:57,640 Speaker 3: doomed to just descend into the norm for humans, which 395 00:18:57,680 --> 00:19:01,879 Speaker 3: is suffering and poverty and not having access to basic things, 396 00:19:01,920 --> 00:19:04,520 Speaker 3: and not having the basic rights that have become the 397 00:19:04,560 --> 00:19:06,360 Speaker 3: norm for us, but only the norm because we made 398 00:19:06,400 --> 00:19:09,280 Speaker 3: it so. So I think that's that's my high level 399 00:19:09,320 --> 00:19:10,480 Speaker 3: worry beyond the personal. 400 00:19:11,359 --> 00:19:13,280 Speaker 2: Do you miss Britain at all? 401 00:19:14,640 --> 00:19:18,600 Speaker 3: I miss my family and my friends there. I miss 402 00:19:18,640 --> 00:19:22,280 Speaker 3: elements of the history. I do not miss modern day Britain. 403 00:19:22,920 --> 00:19:25,400 Speaker 3: I think it has changed a lot in the way 404 00:19:25,400 --> 00:19:27,200 Speaker 3: that Europe has changed. I think it is losing its 405 00:19:27,240 --> 00:19:29,680 Speaker 3: way again. It's not fighting for what made it great, 406 00:19:29,800 --> 00:19:32,000 Speaker 3: it is not fighting to protect its own history and 407 00:19:32,040 --> 00:19:35,520 Speaker 3: the good things it did. I don't really miss the weather. 408 00:19:35,800 --> 00:19:38,640 Speaker 3: I don't miss the lack of air conditioning. I don't 409 00:19:38,680 --> 00:19:40,679 Speaker 3: miss having to go to a restaurant and being treated 410 00:19:40,720 --> 00:19:41,679 Speaker 3: like garbage. 411 00:19:42,800 --> 00:19:44,200 Speaker 2: So they just don't have it over there. 412 00:19:44,320 --> 00:19:46,480 Speaker 3: They do not, they do not. I mean, people always 413 00:19:46,520 --> 00:19:49,200 Speaker 3: mock America for that kind of thing, so I can't 414 00:19:49,240 --> 00:19:53,680 Speaker 3: believe tipping. Tipping is fantastic, And so I don't really 415 00:19:53,680 --> 00:19:56,600 Speaker 3: miss miss Britain in that way. I miss the people there, 416 00:19:56,600 --> 00:19:58,920 Speaker 3: like all my family there. I have friends there, obviously, 417 00:20:00,080 --> 00:20:02,160 Speaker 3: But I love America like all America is my home. 418 00:20:02,240 --> 00:20:04,800 Speaker 3: America is where I'm going to stay. It's just it's 419 00:20:04,800 --> 00:20:06,680 Speaker 3: a country like no other. And I think you hear 420 00:20:06,680 --> 00:20:08,639 Speaker 3: that from a lot of people who move here, is 421 00:20:08,640 --> 00:20:11,600 Speaker 3: that it truly is unique. It's not a cliche. It's 422 00:20:11,640 --> 00:20:13,480 Speaker 3: truly unique in so many ways. So I can't imagine 423 00:20:13,520 --> 00:20:14,280 Speaker 3: living anywhere else. 424 00:20:14,800 --> 00:20:17,320 Speaker 2: I love that. And you know, I lived in Scotland 425 00:20:17,359 --> 00:20:19,920 Speaker 2: for a few years and they mock our the way 426 00:20:20,200 --> 00:20:22,360 Speaker 2: we all say have a nice day and all that. 427 00:20:23,200 --> 00:20:25,560 Speaker 2: But it's quite nice to hear have a nice day. 428 00:20:25,960 --> 00:20:28,720 Speaker 2: It's you know, at the time, I was like embarrassed 429 00:20:28,760 --> 00:20:31,160 Speaker 2: about it. I was in my early twenties or late teens, 430 00:20:32,200 --> 00:20:35,159 Speaker 2: and I, you know, kind of wanted them to accept 431 00:20:35,200 --> 00:20:37,400 Speaker 2: me or whatever, and they would say like, oh, why 432 00:20:37,400 --> 00:20:41,399 Speaker 2: do you Americans, you know, tay statements like that. But 433 00:20:41,480 --> 00:20:44,200 Speaker 2: now I really do appreciate it. I think we really 434 00:20:44,240 --> 00:20:46,959 Speaker 2: have a good thing going here, and the customer service 435 00:20:47,080 --> 00:20:48,560 Speaker 2: is really can't be beat. 436 00:20:49,560 --> 00:20:52,000 Speaker 3: Yeah. And I think also something I learned after moving 437 00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:53,600 Speaker 3: to the US as well is that it is quite 438 00:20:53,720 --> 00:20:55,600 Speaker 3: jarring when you come from a place where people don't 439 00:20:55,600 --> 00:20:58,640 Speaker 3: really talk to each other, like I live in Tennessee now, 440 00:20:58,680 --> 00:21:00,440 Speaker 3: so it's even more so in the South, the people 441 00:21:00,720 --> 00:21:04,000 Speaker 3: genuinely talking to each other. But it's the genuine element 442 00:21:04,040 --> 00:21:06,280 Speaker 3: of it that I think people not from the United 443 00:21:06,320 --> 00:21:09,159 Speaker 3: States don't understand is that when someone asks, you know, 444 00:21:09,200 --> 00:21:10,719 Speaker 3: like how are you doing, or have a nice day, 445 00:21:10,760 --> 00:21:13,280 Speaker 3: it's kind of actually genuine position. In many cases of 446 00:21:13,320 --> 00:21:15,200 Speaker 3: actual of course, there are people who say it don't 447 00:21:15,240 --> 00:21:18,119 Speaker 3: mean it, yeah, but like the conversation she'll have with 448 00:21:18,160 --> 00:21:20,560 Speaker 3: someone in a supermarket or something. If that happens in 449 00:21:20,600 --> 00:21:22,239 Speaker 3: the UK, you're a little on edge, like that's not 450 00:21:22,280 --> 00:21:26,199 Speaker 3: normal because British people aren't quite as social stereotypically, But 451 00:21:26,240 --> 00:21:28,560 Speaker 3: when it comes here, it's it's jarring until you realize 452 00:21:28,560 --> 00:21:30,600 Speaker 3: it's genuine, and then it's it's nice. It's like when 453 00:21:30,600 --> 00:21:33,760 Speaker 3: someone says, oh, pray for you. That's not meaning sarcastic, 454 00:21:34,080 --> 00:21:36,760 Speaker 3: it's a meaningful statement of care. I think the moment 455 00:21:36,760 --> 00:21:38,560 Speaker 3: you understand that it really is life changing. 456 00:21:39,000 --> 00:21:41,159 Speaker 2: It really, it really is. I also in Britain when 457 00:21:41,200 --> 00:21:44,000 Speaker 2: they when they ask and answer the question how's you 458 00:21:44,119 --> 00:21:47,600 Speaker 2: all right? Like it's one sense that's. 459 00:21:47,440 --> 00:21:49,120 Speaker 3: Just I don't even know where to start with that one. 460 00:21:49,200 --> 00:21:51,919 Speaker 3: Some parts of Scotland it's barely English. So that's a 461 00:21:51,960 --> 00:21:52,520 Speaker 3: tough one. 462 00:21:52,880 --> 00:21:56,479 Speaker 2: True true. So what advice would you give your sixteen 463 00:21:56,560 --> 00:21:59,399 Speaker 2: year old self had to offer some thoughts? 464 00:22:00,600 --> 00:22:05,040 Speaker 3: I think for me a few things. Is the easy 465 00:22:05,080 --> 00:22:06,680 Speaker 3: one is to, you know, not care as much about 466 00:22:06,680 --> 00:22:08,320 Speaker 3: what other people think. I think that's one of the 467 00:22:08,320 --> 00:22:11,200 Speaker 3: hardest parts about being younger, is you put so much 468 00:22:11,240 --> 00:22:13,840 Speaker 3: weight on what people who don't matter what they think. 469 00:22:14,720 --> 00:22:17,679 Speaker 3: But I think that goes into adulthood too. Another thing 470 00:22:17,680 --> 00:22:19,600 Speaker 3: I think I tell my sixteen year old self is 471 00:22:19,680 --> 00:22:23,720 Speaker 3: just to try and find that balance between working really 472 00:22:23,800 --> 00:22:26,159 Speaker 3: hard to get what you want next, but also not 473 00:22:26,200 --> 00:22:29,560 Speaker 3: working so hard that you kind of lose everything else 474 00:22:29,560 --> 00:22:33,200 Speaker 3: that's important. I think a lot of people when they're young, 475 00:22:33,240 --> 00:22:35,359 Speaker 3: they see everything is all encompassing, like I have to 476 00:22:35,359 --> 00:22:37,760 Speaker 3: pass this exam otherwise my entire life will fall apart. 477 00:22:38,080 --> 00:22:39,840 Speaker 3: You know, I have to get top grade in college 478 00:22:39,840 --> 00:22:42,440 Speaker 3: otherwise I'll never get a job. And you know, I 479 00:22:43,000 --> 00:22:45,000 Speaker 3: work really hard. I went to Oxted University. I was 480 00:22:45,040 --> 00:22:48,199 Speaker 3: really proud of that. When I was at Oxford, I 481 00:22:48,200 --> 00:22:50,399 Speaker 3: can never quite get to like the top of the class. 482 00:22:50,400 --> 00:22:52,760 Speaker 3: I was always getting kind of like mid range grades. 483 00:22:54,240 --> 00:22:56,200 Speaker 3: By make sure that it was a class of seventeen 484 00:22:56,240 --> 00:22:58,359 Speaker 3: people and they're all computer science geniuses and I was 485 00:22:58,400 --> 00:23:01,320 Speaker 3: not a pure science genius part of it then. But 486 00:23:01,600 --> 00:23:04,159 Speaker 3: I honestly felt like in that moment I was. It 487 00:23:04,200 --> 00:23:06,800 Speaker 3: was very difficult at times because I was never going 488 00:23:06,800 --> 00:23:08,000 Speaker 3: to get to that level, and I was trying so 489 00:23:08,040 --> 00:23:10,000 Speaker 3: hard to get to that level. I had this impression 490 00:23:10,000 --> 00:23:11,679 Speaker 3: in my life just wouldn't work out unless I got 491 00:23:11,720 --> 00:23:14,280 Speaker 3: past that line. And then I got my first job 492 00:23:14,280 --> 00:23:16,240 Speaker 3: in tech and no one cared what grade I got 493 00:23:16,280 --> 00:23:18,280 Speaker 3: to college. They just cared that you went to college 494 00:23:18,280 --> 00:23:20,359 Speaker 3: and you have this piece of paper. And then I 495 00:23:20,440 --> 00:23:22,040 Speaker 3: got my second tech job and no one cared. When 496 00:23:22,080 --> 00:23:23,560 Speaker 3: I went to college, I just cared about what I 497 00:23:23,640 --> 00:23:27,840 Speaker 3: did before. Once you have that realization, doing well enough 498 00:23:27,880 --> 00:23:29,880 Speaker 3: to get to the next step, as long as you're 499 00:23:29,880 --> 00:23:32,199 Speaker 3: happy with that next step is great. If you can 500 00:23:32,240 --> 00:23:34,320 Speaker 3: balance your life and be happy with that, your life 501 00:23:34,320 --> 00:23:38,040 Speaker 3: will be much happier than always trying to take everything 502 00:23:38,040 --> 00:23:40,399 Speaker 3: out of a situation, making a lot of sacrifices in 503 00:23:40,440 --> 00:23:43,159 Speaker 3: the meantime when the difference between ninety five percent and 504 00:23:43,240 --> 00:23:46,359 Speaker 3: ninety six percent five years down the line is meaningless, 505 00:23:46,359 --> 00:23:48,040 Speaker 3: but it feels like everything when you're in the moment. 506 00:23:48,240 --> 00:23:50,640 Speaker 2: It really does. And nobody ever asked even to see 507 00:23:50,640 --> 00:23:53,600 Speaker 2: my diploma or any of my grades or anything. It's 508 00:23:53,920 --> 00:23:56,200 Speaker 2: whether or not you could do the jobs. It actually 509 00:23:56,280 --> 00:23:59,399 Speaker 2: is sort of eye opening how little they care and 510 00:23:59,440 --> 00:24:03,040 Speaker 2: how much we obviously cared at the time. So I've 511 00:24:03,080 --> 00:24:05,919 Speaker 2: loved this conversation. This has been really awesome. I've followed 512 00:24:05,920 --> 00:24:07,639 Speaker 2: you for a long time and I think you're just great. 513 00:24:08,480 --> 00:24:11,840 Speaker 2: Leave us here with your best tip for my listeners 514 00:24:11,920 --> 00:24:14,000 Speaker 2: on how they can improve their lives. 515 00:24:14,720 --> 00:24:15,959 Speaker 3: Yeah, thank you so much for having me. It's been 516 00:24:16,000 --> 00:24:18,120 Speaker 3: a pleasure. I think I have a few quick ones 517 00:24:18,160 --> 00:24:20,439 Speaker 3: I'm going to throw in. Yeah, I think one is 518 00:24:20,440 --> 00:24:23,160 Speaker 3: like a money one. Always people talk about people saying 519 00:24:23,200 --> 00:24:25,959 Speaker 3: money doesn't matter. Money does matter. It's about finding that 520 00:24:26,080 --> 00:24:29,440 Speaker 3: line where you can make enough to be happy and comfortable, 521 00:24:30,560 --> 00:24:33,040 Speaker 3: rather than letting it run your life. I think in 522 00:24:33,119 --> 00:24:36,480 Speaker 3: terms of relationships, the best advice I heard on this 523 00:24:36,600 --> 00:24:39,600 Speaker 3: is always been like trying to choose friends who are 524 00:24:39,760 --> 00:24:42,400 Speaker 3: investments rather than bills. That really changed my life. Looking 525 00:24:42,400 --> 00:24:44,359 Speaker 3: at it that way, I have had a lot of 526 00:24:44,400 --> 00:24:46,040 Speaker 3: friends who have been bills in my life, and my 527 00:24:46,080 --> 00:24:49,280 Speaker 3: life is much better with the investments. And the final one, 528 00:24:49,520 --> 00:24:51,720 Speaker 3: the final one is just taking responsibility for your life. 529 00:24:51,800 --> 00:24:54,800 Speaker 3: I think it's really easy to bad things will happen. 530 00:24:54,840 --> 00:24:57,359 Speaker 3: People will screw you over, you won't get those promotions, 531 00:24:57,400 --> 00:24:59,360 Speaker 3: your manager will screw you over. All of these things 532 00:24:59,359 --> 00:25:02,960 Speaker 3: will happen, and obviously you should fight back when you're 533 00:25:03,000 --> 00:25:05,520 Speaker 3: able to. But I think taking responsibility for your life 534 00:25:05,520 --> 00:25:08,200 Speaker 3: and not letting the blame part of it take over, 535 00:25:09,119 --> 00:25:11,280 Speaker 3: will make your life much happier because everything good that 536 00:25:11,320 --> 00:25:14,560 Speaker 3: happens is because of you, and everything bad that happens 537 00:25:14,720 --> 00:25:18,280 Speaker 3: is despite everything you try to do, and it's I 538 00:25:18,280 --> 00:25:21,000 Speaker 3: think you can move forward each day knowing that you 539 00:25:21,240 --> 00:25:23,840 Speaker 3: did the best you could and you ultimately are standing 540 00:25:23,880 --> 00:25:25,280 Speaker 3: on your own two feet as an adult and not 541 00:25:25,320 --> 00:25:27,600 Speaker 3: looking for someone else to save you. I think if 542 00:25:27,640 --> 00:25:29,720 Speaker 3: everyone did that the world would be a much better place, 543 00:25:29,760 --> 00:25:31,280 Speaker 3: and we would be able to care for each other 544 00:25:31,359 --> 00:25:33,520 Speaker 3: more as well, because we would see people take responsibil 545 00:25:33,520 --> 00:25:36,080 Speaker 3: with themselves and want to help them. So I think 546 00:25:36,080 --> 00:25:39,080 Speaker 3: taking responsibility is something I go on college campuses all 547 00:25:39,119 --> 00:25:41,600 Speaker 3: the time. It's the one thing I tell people. Take responsibility, 548 00:25:41,640 --> 00:25:43,640 Speaker 3: and every problem in our lives would be better. 549 00:25:44,200 --> 00:25:47,399 Speaker 2: I love that. Here's Ian Howarth. Check him out, follow 550 00:25:47,480 --> 00:25:50,080 Speaker 2: him on X read all of his stuff. He's really wonderful. 551 00:25:50,080 --> 00:25:51,600 Speaker 2: Thank you so much, Iaan for coming on. 552 00:25:51,880 --> 00:25:54,680 Speaker 1: Thanks for having me, Thanks so much for joining us 553 00:25:54,720 --> 00:25:57,360 Speaker 1: on the Carol Marko Rich Show. Subscribe wherever you get 554 00:25:57,359 --> 00:25:58,520 Speaker 1: your podcasts.