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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam.

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Speaker 2: This is John the og story Time podcast host. Oh yeah,

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Speaker 2: we got some great stories coming up. But before that,

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Speaker 2: we got a teeny two minute break from the sponsors

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Speaker 2: that keep the show propped up like a little house.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah. I felt humiliated at the party because of

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Speaker 1: my girlfriend's past.

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Speaker 3: What does she do?

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Speaker 1: My girlfriend has an intense, spicy related past. She was

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Speaker 1: very open and honest about it early when we started dating.

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Speaker 1: She told me that when she got to college, she

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Speaker 1: went wild and started having spices leave with a lot

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Speaker 1: of guys. Heck yeah. She said that for the past

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Speaker 1: year and a half she had stopped and wanted a relationship.

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Speaker 1: Heck yeah. She She told me this early on because

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Speaker 1: the past two guys she dated left when they found out,

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Speaker 1: and she didn't want to waste our time.

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Speaker 3: They left when mark they found out that she had

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Speaker 3: a past.

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Speaker 1: I guess. So okay, for the most part, everything has

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Speaker 1: been fine. Cool. By the way, this comes from Flippy

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Speaker 1: thirty two and if you want to submit your own stories,

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Speaker 1: go to the r slash. Okay, storry time suppered it

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Speaker 1: and I'm Angie, I'm Sophia, I'm Keon and Op says

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Speaker 1: that is until Tonight, we went to a Halloween party

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Speaker 1: and I was surrounded by guys that she had spicy sleep.

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Speaker 1: But most of these guys are pure a holes making

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Speaker 1: crude comments all night long. That is rough.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, that's rough, I would agree.

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Speaker 1: One guy who was either really just a clueless f

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Speaker 1: head or being a total wiener, came up to me

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Speaker 1: while she was standing right there, gave me a bro

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Speaker 1: hug and said, dude, it's cool you're hitting that. Now,

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Speaker 1: make sure to have her show you how she could

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Speaker 1: put her legs behind her head. It's eving fantastic. I'm sorry.

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Speaker 3: If someone said that to me, I'd be like, I'm well,

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Speaker 3: I'd be like, excuse me, yeah, don't excuse like one,

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Speaker 3: don't talk to me like that. Yeah, but also don't

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Speaker 3: talk about about my partner like that. Yeah, that's how

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Speaker 3: I spectator respectful of this guy. Disgusting, Like how dare you?

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Speaker 1: I would be biting.

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Speaker 4: Not girl, girlfriend and I are doing the good one too,

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Speaker 4: Like I'm like I looking at her.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. First I'd be like girl and you okay, like

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Speaker 3: partner you okay, because that person's just saying these awful

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Speaker 3: things disgusting. But then I'd be like bat bah, bah,

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Speaker 3: let's go, you suck.

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Speaker 1: He then gave me another hug and went around the room.

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Speaker 1: I would think he was just being a weaederhead to me,

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Speaker 1: but he went around talking like this to everyone. I

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Speaker 1: didn't have a clue what to say or do. I

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Speaker 1: wasn't sure if I should have started a fight, laughed

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Speaker 1: with him, or go out of the room passing away

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Speaker 1: of humiliation.

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Speaker 3: I probably start a fight or leave. Yeah, laugh with him?

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Speaker 1: No, no, no, he's disrespecting your girlfriends and.

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Speaker 3: You and you yeah, well yes, but like also like

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Speaker 3: to laugh with him. Is you have disrespecting your girl's dormant?

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Speaker 5: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, come on exactly When he said that, there was

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Speaker 1: a group of guys right behind him that started passing away,

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Speaker 1: laughing at me. I tried to hold out, but after

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Speaker 1: a few minutes I told her I really didn't want

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Speaker 1: to be there and that if she wanted to stay,

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Speaker 1: I would understand, but I was leaving. She said that

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Speaker 1: she was leaving with me and apologized for the way

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Speaker 1: they acted. I know it wasn't her fault, and honestly,

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Speaker 1: it may have just been as embarrassing for her, if

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Speaker 1: not more so. Yeah, definitely more so.

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Speaker 3: I'm sorry, this girl has just had to be in

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Speaker 3: a room with a bunch of guys that she has

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Speaker 3: a history with, who are then telling too multiple the

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Speaker 3: people her like private times with them. Yeah, that's so

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Speaker 3: embarrassing for her, so disrespectful. Yes, just icky like I

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Speaker 3: feel so bad for her. Absolutely.

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Speaker 1: I told her I was going to go home and

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Speaker 1: go to bed, and I could tell that she was

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Speaker 1: very disappointed. She even asked if tonight had ruined what

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Speaker 1: we had. I told her no, but I was honest

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Speaker 1: and said it did bother me. She said she hoped

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Speaker 1: we would still be okay after this, and I promised

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Speaker 1: to call her tomorrow. As I said, you're typing this,

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Speaker 1: I'm not going to lie about it. This is really

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Speaker 1: the first time her past has actually presented itself, and

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Speaker 1: where I could ignore it before, now I don't think

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Speaker 1: I can. Am I out of line here? Or was

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Speaker 1: I right to feel like everyone was making fun of

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Speaker 1: me for being the stooge that she got to be

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Speaker 1: the boyfriend after they all had their way with her.

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Speaker 3: That's a gross way to put that, but I hate

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Speaker 3: that they didn't have their way with her. She had

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Speaker 3: consensual relationships with them before you guys were together right,

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Speaker 3: But there are some comments coming.

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Speaker 1: Number one says, it's difficult. If she wants to stop

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Speaker 1: being known as the girl who all the guys have

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Speaker 1: f she has to move on to a new friend group.

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Speaker 1: That can be hard at that age, depending on circumstances.

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Speaker 1: If you want to be with her, you have to

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Speaker 1: accept her past. However, there are things that she can

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Speaker 1: do to help limit the baggage that she's asking you

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Speaker 1: to accommodate. Not partying with a holes might be one

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Speaker 1: of those things coming. Number two says, should have knocked

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Speaker 1: him in the face. That's so disrespectful. And if that

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Speaker 1: happened to me, I hope my partner at the time

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Speaker 1: would stand up for me and tell him to f

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Speaker 1: off those guys sounding wieners. To be honest, why go

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Speaker 1: to a party with those types of people. She's been

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Speaker 1: honest with you, which is good. You can't hold onto

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Speaker 1: mistakes that people have made in the past. She obviously

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Speaker 1: changed for the better.

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Speaker 3: I don't like that.

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Speaker 1: I don't like that I'm the better. This is not

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Speaker 1: a mistake.

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Speaker 3: She is allowed to have other relationships, casual or not,

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Speaker 3: and that's fine. Don't like slute shame her for it. Yes, yeah,

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Speaker 3: OPI responds, here's the witch of it. I to this

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Speaker 3: moment still have no idea if he was being a

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Speaker 3: complete a hole or if he was just a good

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Speaker 3: time bro who thought that we closer than we were.

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Speaker 1: Yikes. Yeah, no, No, he was an a hole. The

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Speaker 1: fact that you don't get that is concerning to me

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Speaker 1: A crapy not. He hugged me after you said it,

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Speaker 1: and I just get the feeling that he was telling

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Speaker 1: me something more along the lines like I would say, hey, man,

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Speaker 1: when you're here, you have to try this steak. It's fantastic.

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Speaker 1: I don't like you either, Op. I mean that is

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Speaker 1: kind of how he was it is, Op.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I think it's really concerned that OP sees his

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Speaker 3: girlfriend as a steak.

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Speaker 1: Well, okay, I don't think that OP necessarily sees him

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Speaker 1: like that. I think there is still a little bit

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Speaker 1: of an issue with how he's saying this. I think

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Speaker 1: he's saying that this is how casually this guy said it. Yes, yes,

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Speaker 1: but the fact that he is still considering that that

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Speaker 1: might not be an issue.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, He's like, oh maybe not an ale. Literally, they

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Speaker 3: were laughing at you. They were spreading your girlfriend's private affairs.

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Speaker 3: You know, not affair, but you know, like a private

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Speaker 3: information right.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, so me, uh knocking him might have been completely

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Speaker 1: off base. Uh No. Also, I'm really trying to get

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Speaker 1: away from that. I've been in trouble before, and honestly,

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Speaker 1: I'm trying to set myself up for a career here,

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Speaker 1: So an arrest record for a harmful act is not

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Speaker 1: what I'm looking for. How Number three says, what I

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Speaker 1: don't get is why you care what these people think?

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Speaker 1: If she makes you happy and you guys have a

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Speaker 1: good time together, shouldn't that be what matters rather than

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Speaker 1: what some immature strangers think? And do Opie says in principle,

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Speaker 1: I don't. However, it's not very easy being the center

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Speaker 1: of attention and being obviously laughed at. My natural instinct

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Speaker 1: in this situation was to fight, but I've tried to

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Speaker 1: grown out of that phase of my life. Besides, if

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Speaker 1: I did, I would have had to fight about eight

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Speaker 1: or nine different guys, And there is an update that

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Speaker 1: is definitely uncomfortable to be laughed at by all of

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Speaker 1: these people. But yeah, again I think he's focused on her. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I think she's also there too.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, so it's not just at you, my guy, it's

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Speaker 4: also at her.

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Speaker 3: I feel like he's really just focusing on how he

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Speaker 3: was wronged when he was but like not at all

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Speaker 3: thinking about how his girlfriend feels in the Situationah exactly.

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Speaker 1: It's like, I feel like that's such an annoying thing

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Speaker 1: that so many guys think of in this situations where

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Speaker 1: it's just like, oh, they're like emasculating me by talking

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Speaker 1: about my girlfriend in that way.

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Speaker 3: Girls like being insulted and detained.

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Speaker 1: Absolutely, this is nothing about you. The laughing thing is

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Speaker 1: about you, That's it. Everything else is about her. But

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Speaker 1: we do have an update. I don't know if an

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Speaker 1: update is really the right word here, but because honestly,

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Speaker 1: I'm coming here to ask for helping make a decision.

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Speaker 1: After thinking about this last night, I think I'm about

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Speaker 1: sixty percent sure I'm going to nope, write out of

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Speaker 1: this relationship. What Yes, last night plays a big factor,

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Speaker 1: but it really just opened my eyes to other issues

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Speaker 1: I have. We've only been dating for three months. Her

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Speaker 1: past bothers me sometime. I don't know her well, only

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Speaker 1: five months total. She was open about being with a

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Speaker 1: lot of guys, but that's as far as it went.

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Speaker 1: I don't know who or how many. But whenever I

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Speaker 1: see her talking with another guy, I start to wonder

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Speaker 1: what they're talking about. I've come up to class and

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Speaker 1: she'll be talking to someone and my attitude changes. It

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Speaker 1: could be innocent, but I'm going on trust, and at

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Speaker 1: three months in I don't have complete trust. A spicy

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Speaker 1: sleep between us is a problem. I initiate every time,

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Speaker 1: and she she's been passionless. She just lies there. I've

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Speaker 1: tried to have her do more, but she always declines.

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Speaker 1: I feel like she's doing me a favor more than

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Speaker 1: being an equal partner. This makes me wonder if I'm

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Speaker 1: not attractive to her smike sually, or if she's just

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Speaker 1: going through the motions to stay in a relationship because

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Speaker 1: of her wild times. She's far behind in school. We're

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Speaker 1: in the same major, and I walk her through everything

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Speaker 1: because she doesn't grasp basic concepts. This makes me wonder

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Speaker 1: if I'm being used as a free tutor. Even though

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Speaker 1: she has slept around, as she claims to have never

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Speaker 1: really had a boyfriend, she claims we've been together longer

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Speaker 1: than she has with anyone. She has no concept of

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Speaker 1: how to act in a date like setting. Early on,

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Speaker 1: she was very awkward. My friend's girlfriends are not comfortable

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Speaker 1: with her around because her reputation for SI.

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Speaker 3: Wow, your friends, So you're friends with people that don't

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Speaker 3: want to be around a girl because she's slept with

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Speaker 3: a lot of people.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, what does that have to do with them at all?

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Speaker 1: She has good qualities too. She's funny in an awkward way.

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Speaker 1: She tries to tell a joke and fails so badly

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Speaker 1: that it becomes funnier than the joke would have been.

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Speaker 1: She's been nice to me and drops everything whenever I

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Speaker 1: want to see her. We've never had disagreements, and she

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Speaker 1: was upfront about her past. Here's what I'm asking. Should

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Speaker 1: I ask her about her past? Should I say that

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Speaker 1: because of last night? I want to know who I'm

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Speaker 1: dealing with? Am I wrong for thinking this spicy sleep

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Speaker 1: long term won't work out for me? If she's not

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Speaker 1: into me that way? I want out. This is only

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Speaker 1: three months in. If things ended today, I won't go

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Speaker 1: into deep depression. But if I wait another three to

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Speaker 1: nine months, I will develop strong feelings for her. Or

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Speaker 1: will I develop strong feelings and get really hurt later?

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Speaker 1: We do have an update, but I don't really care

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Speaker 1: to answer any questions. You've never had a conversation.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yes, yes, you should talk to your girlfriend. Yes,

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Speaker 3: He's like, should I ask any of these questions?

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Speaker 1: Yes, go ahead, yes, But my answer to all of

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Speaker 1: those is just get out of there. Yeah.

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Speaker 3: I don't like you and I don't want you to

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Speaker 3: be with her. I want her to have a better person. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: but we do have an update number two.

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Speaker 1: After reading the responses to my last post, my first

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Speaker 1: course of action was to call one of my friends, Jim,

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Speaker 1: to ask him to bring over his girlfriend, Jill, who

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Speaker 1: who was one of the girls who said she would

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Speaker 1: not be comfortable being around my girlfriend. They came over

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Speaker 1: and I asked her to be open and honest with

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Speaker 1: me and not hold back anything to spare my feelings.

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Speaker 1: She said she couldn't speak for the other girlfriends, but

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Speaker 1: her problem with my girlfriend stems from something that happened

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Speaker 1: a couple of years ago. Oh. Interesting in a nutshell,

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Speaker 1: a mutual friend of theirs had been dating her boyfriend

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Speaker 1: since high school and she, for some reason, got into

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Speaker 1: a verbal altercation with my girlfriend. Well, the short of

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Speaker 1: it is that my girlfriend ended up sleeping with her boyfriend,

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Speaker 1: breaking them up. Interesting Okay, this makes more sense. Okay,

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Speaker 1: my girlfriend only slept with him to get at the girl,

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Speaker 1: and when they broke up, she refused to even talk

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Speaker 1: to the guy again. The guy begged his girlfriend to

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Speaker 1: take him back, but she wouldn't and he ended up

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Speaker 1: dropping out of college and making a self harm attempt.

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Speaker 3: Ooh, obviously not a good thing. I do want to

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Speaker 3: say that we know that she wasn't in a good place.

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Speaker 3: We already know that she said that is that she

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Speaker 3: wasn't in good place.

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Speaker 1: And even then, it's like been even years ago. Even

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Speaker 1: if this was an issue, and this stuff led to

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Speaker 1: him having those thoughts in him being in that bad place.

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Speaker 3: Really, yeah, that's it's not her fault at all.

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Speaker 1: He was complicit in all that.

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Speaker 3: I just mean, like bad that you know, so I

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Speaker 3: hooked up with a Yeah, no, I totally yeah, but

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Speaker 3: I agree with you as well.

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Speaker 1: My defense was that he was a cheater, so in

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Speaker 1: some ways it wasn't her fault. But her response to

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Speaker 1: that was that she knew absolutely he was with their

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Speaker 1: friend and showed up in his dorm room unclothed in

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Speaker 1: his bed while he was sleeping. She also said that

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Speaker 1: while she had no proof it was a well known

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Speaker 1: rumor that my girlfriend would sleep with guys who were

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Speaker 1: in relationships and even married. I said that she had

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Speaker 1: told me about her past, but that she stopped sleeping

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Speaker 1: around over a year ago. She laughed in my face

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Speaker 1: when I said that. He asked if two months equals

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Speaker 1: a year, and she oh, and they've been either for

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Speaker 1: three months day. I feel upset that I'm just confused

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Speaker 1: about this whole situation.

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Speaker 3: Now.

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Speaker 1: I feel like we're gonna be a little bit wrong.

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Speaker 1: But I still don't like everyone sucksier.

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Speaker 3: It might be in everyone sucksier situation.

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Speaker 1: But see. She then took glee and telling me that

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Speaker 1: both she and Jim had seen her with some guy

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Speaker 1: two months ago at a nightclub on campus, a nightclub

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Speaker 1: on campus they have the most night club, and that

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Speaker 1: she was all over him and they left the club

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Speaker 1: lipt lucked to each other. Jim confirmed this. I asked

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Speaker 1: why he didn't tell me before, and he said that

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Speaker 1: he wasn't sure if we were exclusive or what I

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Speaker 1: was doing with her. He told me that at least

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Speaker 1: four or five members of his lacrosse team have been

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Speaker 1: with her and that she's basically a joke on campus.

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Speaker 1: Because of her reputation. Oh, this didn't set my mind

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Speaker 1: at ease. What really bothered me was that if she

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Speaker 1: was with another guy two months ago, that was one

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Speaker 1: month after we started dating. We never verbalized being exclusive,

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Speaker 1: but she made it clear early on that she was

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Speaker 1: done sleeping around and had stopped over a year and

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Speaker 1: a half ago. This would lead to me to believe

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Speaker 1: that she was not serious about that comment, but I

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Speaker 1: decided that I would not make a judgment until I

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Speaker 1: got her side of the story. Okay, the best thing

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Speaker 1: you've done, the best thing you've done, this whole story,

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Speaker 1: the only good thing. Yes, please get her side of

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Speaker 1: the story. Yeah. So, late Saturday afternoon, I asked her

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Speaker 1: if she could meet me at a sandwich shop just

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Speaker 1: off campus. When she got there, I asked how she

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Speaker 1: had been and apologized for not calling back sooner. She

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Speaker 1: said that she had been worried all day but understood

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Speaker 1: if I needed time to think. I decided to get

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Speaker 1: right to the point and said that obviously it would

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Speaker 1: happen that the party did affect me greatly. I said

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Speaker 1: I wasn't prepared to deal with that and told her

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Speaker 1: I was really sorry I didn't handle it better. For

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Speaker 1: the both of us. She again apologized for the guys

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Speaker 1: laughing and kept avoiding the guy who actually said what

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Speaker 1: he said. I told her I appreciated her honesty when

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Speaker 1: we first got together and totally respected her privacy, but

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Speaker 1: then said that I just did not think that I

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Speaker 1: could handle being put in situations like that again. All

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Speaker 1: I asked was, how are we going to avoid something

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Speaker 1: like that happened future. Her answer was that we would

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Speaker 1: just avoid parties on campus. I asked if all parties

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Speaker 1: on campus were out of the question, or just certain

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Speaker 1: types of parties. She said it would be better to

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Speaker 1: avoid almost any party on campus. I kind of just

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Speaker 1: looked at her, hoping that she would volunteer more info,

329
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Speaker 1: but she didn't, so I didn't press the I said

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Speaker 1: that the only thing I wanted to talk about now

331
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Speaker 1: was if she was still having spicy to sleep with

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Speaker 1: anyone else or seeing anyone else. He looked at me

333
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Speaker 1: with what I can only assume was a look of

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Speaker 1: anger and surprise. She very curtly said, I told you

335
00:14:12,040 --> 00:14:14,079
Speaker 1: I stopped doing that over a year ago. So I

336
00:14:14,280 --> 00:14:16,400
Speaker 1: just said, then, why were you with Donn in that

337
00:14:16,559 --> 00:14:18,800
Speaker 1: bar two months ago? And the fact that I knew

338
00:14:18,880 --> 00:14:21,920
Speaker 1: his name obviously through her off. At first, she tried

339
00:14:21,920 --> 00:14:23,760
Speaker 1: to deny it, but when I gave her the date

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Speaker 1: and description, she then said, we're just friends. I asked

341
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Speaker 1: what kind of friend. I could tell that she was

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Speaker 1: either getting very flustered or very mad at this point,

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Speaker 1: and she shot back with we're just friends.

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Speaker 3: I really feel so bad for this girl. Yeah, I

345
00:14:37,280 --> 00:14:41,080
Speaker 3: feel like she's going through something and I feel really bad. Yeah,

346
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Speaker 3: and like I feel like she's got some trauma or something.

347
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Speaker 3: It's very possible.

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Speaker 1: I mean, even if like she was doing what these

349
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Speaker 1: people were saying, and she was like hooking up with

350
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Speaker 1: people that were in relationships that she knew of and

351
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Speaker 1: all this stuff, and like, you know, that's obviously not good.

352
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Speaker 3: No, it's an a whole move, to be clear, but

353
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Speaker 3: I'm like, I'm really worried better. Yeah, but at the

354
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Speaker 3: same time, it's very possible for these things to be rumors.

355
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Speaker 3: If if we already, say one of the girls said,

356
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Speaker 3: I don't have proof, but yeah, if they're saying that

357
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Speaker 3: she's a joke on campus and they were in like

358
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Speaker 3: you said, like they were saying this is a well

359
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Speaker 3: known rumor.

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00:15:14,400 --> 00:15:20,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, that could be so hard easy exactly exactly.

361
00:15:20,840 --> 00:15:24,200
Speaker 4: But again it's also it's not defending OP or anything

362
00:15:24,240 --> 00:15:26,240
Speaker 4: like that, but it's again when not just one or two,

363
00:15:26,320 --> 00:15:28,760
Speaker 4: but it's like every person you see or it's like, yeah,

364
00:15:29,320 --> 00:15:31,320
Speaker 4: it's like needle, it's like needles into you.

365
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Speaker 1: Like no, I don't want to say that, like that's

366
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Speaker 1: not a difficult thing. It's just I didn't like how

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Speaker 1: op he was talking about it.

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00:15:35,920 --> 00:15:38,920
Speaker 4: Yeah, exactly, but it's just better than.

369
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Speaker 3: Everyone sucks here and I hope that she's therapy. I

370
00:15:42,200 --> 00:15:44,080
Speaker 3: don't even like that he was feeling that way. I'm

371
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Speaker 3: gonna be honest.

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Speaker 1: I get I like, you know, if if maybe you

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Speaker 1: can't trust or something like that, but I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I didn't like how he got to that not trust

375
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Speaker 1: in the first place, and why he was thinking that,

376
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Speaker 1: because I mean, his reasonings are so so yeah, very immature.

377
00:16:02,240 --> 00:16:05,040
Speaker 1: College did Yeah, they're in college. I decided I wasn't

378
00:16:05,080 --> 00:16:07,400
Speaker 1: going to let that drop because while I've never had

379
00:16:07,440 --> 00:16:09,440
Speaker 1: a friend that I have ever had spicy sleep with,

380
00:16:09,640 --> 00:16:11,640
Speaker 1: I know for a fact that she has. So I

381
00:16:11,840 --> 00:16:15,280
Speaker 1: just said, are you uh are you friends that f

382
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Speaker 1: And Okay, I admit that this was probably a little

383
00:16:18,560 --> 00:16:20,480
Speaker 1: more crude than I should have been, but I was

384
00:16:20,560 --> 00:16:22,960
Speaker 1: getting flustered at this point too. She said that obviously

385
00:16:23,040 --> 00:16:25,400
Speaker 1: I didn't trust her and that until she leaves school,

386
00:16:25,520 --> 00:16:28,000
Speaker 1: no one will take her seriously. I said this didn't

387
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Speaker 1: have to be the case, and that I had stayed

388
00:16:30,280 --> 00:16:32,640
Speaker 1: with her knowing what I knew, but I needed to

389
00:16:32,720 --> 00:16:34,720
Speaker 1: know if she had slept with him or anyone else

390
00:16:34,760 --> 00:16:37,040
Speaker 1: after we started dating. She said, why are you asking

391
00:16:37,120 --> 00:16:39,680
Speaker 1: me something you already know. The answer to this confused me.

392
00:16:39,960 --> 00:16:41,640
Speaker 1: Was she saying that I knew she didn't have spicy

393
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Speaker 1: sleep with someone, or that I did know. I asked

394
00:16:43,760 --> 00:16:46,360
Speaker 1: her to clarify so I didn't make any rash decisions.

395
00:16:46,480 --> 00:16:48,560
Speaker 1: At this point, she said, I really liked you, but

396
00:16:48,640 --> 00:16:51,440
Speaker 1: obviously you have spies watching me, so you don't trust me,

397
00:16:51,600 --> 00:16:53,120
Speaker 1: so I think it's best if we end this. I

398
00:16:53,240 --> 00:16:55,280
Speaker 1: said if that was her decision, I would respect it,

399
00:16:55,480 --> 00:16:57,720
Speaker 1: but that I did not have spies watching her, but

400
00:16:57,840 --> 00:16:59,560
Speaker 1: did have a couple of friends who were trying to

401
00:16:59,600 --> 00:17:01,600
Speaker 1: look out for me. She then just admitted that two

402
00:17:01,640 --> 00:17:04,040
Speaker 1: weeks after we had started dating, she had hooked up

403
00:17:04,080 --> 00:17:06,000
Speaker 1: with one of her friends with benefit that it was

404
00:17:06,119 --> 00:17:08,240
Speaker 1: a one time thing and she didn't see any reason

405
00:17:08,320 --> 00:17:09,919
Speaker 1: why that should have been a problem because we were

406
00:17:09,920 --> 00:17:12,440
Speaker 1: an official There is a little bit more to the story.

407
00:17:12,720 --> 00:17:14,679
Speaker 1: I mean, like, in some.

408
00:17:14,840 --> 00:17:17,840
Speaker 3: Ways I agree with that because it's not cheating, so

409
00:17:17,880 --> 00:17:20,639
Speaker 3: they weren't official. However, she lied about it.

410
00:17:20,760 --> 00:17:21,160
Speaker 1: She did.

411
00:17:21,440 --> 00:17:24,600
Speaker 3: She specifically said, yeah, I haven't been doing that for

412
00:17:24,640 --> 00:17:26,520
Speaker 3: a year, right, and then lied about it.

413
00:17:26,720 --> 00:17:28,960
Speaker 1: So it's like, yeah, you're the ale for that, right.

414
00:17:29,400 --> 00:17:31,840
Speaker 3: That's when I would start not trusting her. Yeah, this

415
00:17:31,880 --> 00:17:33,200
Speaker 3: is an everyone suck situation.

416
00:17:33,760 --> 00:17:37,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I really I feel really bad for her though, Yeah,

417
00:17:38,240 --> 00:17:41,280
Speaker 1: for sure. At that point I said that I agreed

418
00:17:41,280 --> 00:17:43,280
Speaker 1: with her it was best if we just ended this.

419
00:17:43,560 --> 00:17:45,359
Speaker 1: I don't know if she was sad or happy or

420
00:17:45,440 --> 00:17:48,399
Speaker 1: mad or anything. She just said okay and got up

421
00:17:48,520 --> 00:17:50,800
Speaker 1: and left. I haven't talked to her since. I feel

422
00:17:50,840 --> 00:17:53,000
Speaker 1: a little bad about this because she wasn't a bad person,

423
00:17:53,160 --> 00:17:54,680
Speaker 1: But the more I thought about it, there was just

424
00:17:54,760 --> 00:17:57,119
Speaker 1: too much baggage. The fact that she lied about not

425
00:17:57,200 --> 00:17:59,520
Speaker 1: sleeping around for over a year and half was the

426
00:17:59,600 --> 00:18:01,639
Speaker 1: deal break. I would agree with that. Yeah, and I

427
00:18:01,800 --> 00:18:04,199
Speaker 1: will never view spicy sleep the same way. I consider

428
00:18:04,240 --> 00:18:06,440
Speaker 1: it more than just a handshake, which is what she

429
00:18:06,560 --> 00:18:08,520
Speaker 1: considers it. You don't know that, and I need to

430
00:18:08,560 --> 00:18:10,560
Speaker 1: stay with girls who share my view on this, and

431
00:18:10,680 --> 00:18:11,640
Speaker 1: that's the end of that story.

432
00:18:11,960 --> 00:18:14,400
Speaker 3: I don't know you didn't like that last time, dude,

433
00:18:14,680 --> 00:18:15,760
Speaker 3: I don't like you.

434
00:18:16,200 --> 00:18:20,160
Speaker 1: That's not just because someone has all these casual relationships

435
00:18:20,200 --> 00:18:22,600
Speaker 1: doesn't mean that they treat it like nothing or that.

436
00:18:22,760 --> 00:18:26,480
Speaker 3: Yeah, doesn't mean that they treat your relationship like it's nothing. Yeah,

437
00:18:26,520 --> 00:18:27,520
Speaker 3: it's just I hate that.

438
00:18:27,760 --> 00:18:28,240
Speaker 1: Absolutely.

439
00:18:29,320 --> 00:18:31,879
Speaker 3: I want my mother in law out of my house,

440
00:18:31,960 --> 00:18:35,200
Speaker 3: but she just won't go get her out of there.

441
00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:39,040
Speaker 3: I twenty nine female, and my fiance twenty nine male,

442
00:18:39,200 --> 00:18:41,880
Speaker 3: live in a three bedroom house for three years now.

443
00:18:42,440 --> 00:18:44,480
Speaker 3: We used to rent, but when we got pregnant, we

444
00:18:44,600 --> 00:18:46,800
Speaker 3: decided to We were in our best financial state to

445
00:18:46,800 --> 00:18:49,919
Speaker 3: get a mortgage. My parents and his parents gave us

446
00:18:49,960 --> 00:18:51,760
Speaker 3: some cash to help with the down payment of her

447
00:18:51,800 --> 00:18:55,680
Speaker 3: house and we bought a house. Anyway, my fiance renovated

448
00:18:55,720 --> 00:18:59,119
Speaker 3: the house and it is now in excellent condition. By

449
00:18:59,160 --> 00:19:01,480
Speaker 3: the way, this comes, I'm Crazier Mom eight oh eight

450
00:19:01,560 --> 00:19:02,960
Speaker 3: And if you want to spit your own stories, go

451
00:19:03,040 --> 00:19:05,760
Speaker 3: to the r slash Okay storytime, separate it. I'm Sophia,

452
00:19:06,000 --> 00:19:09,560
Speaker 3: I'm Angie and op says. After a year, my future

453
00:19:09,600 --> 00:19:12,120
Speaker 3: mother in law and father in law decided to move

454
00:19:12,160 --> 00:19:14,359
Speaker 3: in with us for a year, as my father in

455
00:19:14,440 --> 00:19:17,119
Speaker 3: law would like to travel six months a year Overseas

456
00:19:17,280 --> 00:19:20,120
Speaker 3: to visit his mom and deal with some stuff. When

457
00:19:20,160 --> 00:19:23,440
Speaker 3: they moved, they completely took over my kitchen, changed my

458
00:19:23,560 --> 00:19:27,200
Speaker 3: plates and put away my appliances to use theirs, used

459
00:19:27,320 --> 00:19:31,200
Speaker 3: their dining table, use the living room without considering other people.

460
00:19:31,880 --> 00:19:34,399
Speaker 3: By this, I mean changing the show if I paused

461
00:19:34,400 --> 00:19:36,919
Speaker 3: it to go pee, and overall just using it as

462
00:19:37,000 --> 00:19:40,080
Speaker 3: if they own the house, not even considering that we

463
00:19:40,160 --> 00:19:42,760
Speaker 3: have a one year old living in the house. What

464
00:19:42,920 --> 00:19:45,479
Speaker 3: are you do when is that your house?

465
00:19:45,840 --> 00:19:47,760
Speaker 1: Oh, let me stay with you and bring in a

466
00:19:47,880 --> 00:19:49,880
Speaker 1: second dining table. That's crazy.

467
00:19:50,040 --> 00:19:53,040
Speaker 3: You can't just bring in a second dining table.

468
00:19:52,880 --> 00:19:53,560
Speaker 1: My goodness.

469
00:19:54,600 --> 00:19:56,560
Speaker 3: I've talked to them about it, but they just brush

470
00:19:56,640 --> 00:19:59,960
Speaker 3: me off or say yeah, but still use their stof

471
00:20:00,359 --> 00:20:01,240
Speaker 3: or do whatever they want.

472
00:20:01,280 --> 00:20:01,520
Speaker 1: Again.

473
00:20:02,040 --> 00:20:04,399
Speaker 3: A year from when they moved in has passed and

474
00:20:04,520 --> 00:20:07,360
Speaker 3: they haven't moved out yet, and my father in law

475
00:20:07,400 --> 00:20:09,680
Speaker 3: has been traveling back and forth, and my mother in

476
00:20:09,800 --> 00:20:12,399
Speaker 3: law is being like a queen where I have to

477
00:20:12,480 --> 00:20:16,679
Speaker 3: look after her dishes, hang her laundry, cleaner, bathroom, et cetera.

478
00:20:17,280 --> 00:20:20,680
Speaker 3: There were some small habits that are driving me insane.

479
00:20:21,440 --> 00:20:24,200
Speaker 3: She also tries to subtly be witchy to me, and

480
00:20:24,359 --> 00:20:27,160
Speaker 3: I've been keeping it all in. A Few months ago,

481
00:20:27,280 --> 00:20:29,600
Speaker 3: my sister visited for an event and has told us

482
00:20:29,680 --> 00:20:32,000
Speaker 3: that my mother in law was saying that they should

483
00:20:32,000 --> 00:20:34,800
Speaker 3: be able to live here as they lent us cash

484
00:20:35,440 --> 00:20:38,160
Speaker 3: and also to help us with the child. She's tried

485
00:20:38,200 --> 00:20:41,080
Speaker 3: to pay rent, but it's never consistent and she's not

486
00:20:41,280 --> 00:20:44,200
Speaker 3: very good with finances. She will prioritize a trip with

487
00:20:44,240 --> 00:20:46,399
Speaker 3: her friends instead of paying to go to the doctor.

488
00:20:47,119 --> 00:20:50,520
Speaker 3: This drives me nuts as this was not true. They

489
00:20:50,640 --> 00:20:53,240
Speaker 3: sporadically help us with taking care of the child, but

490
00:20:53,359 --> 00:20:57,000
Speaker 3: we also didn't know that the cash was only alone,

491
00:20:57,160 --> 00:20:58,480
Speaker 3: as they didn't tell us that.

492
00:20:59,240 --> 00:21:00,359
Speaker 1: So my fiance and I.

493
00:21:00,520 --> 00:21:03,320
Speaker 3: Decided that we're gonna pay it all off, and we

494
00:21:03,560 --> 00:21:06,680
Speaker 3: finally did. My fiance has been very supportive of me,

495
00:21:06,880 --> 00:21:10,040
Speaker 3: but also feels bad for his parents as he's an

496
00:21:10,119 --> 00:21:13,479
Speaker 3: only child. I am pregnant the second time around now

497
00:21:14,080 --> 00:21:15,920
Speaker 3: and we would like to use the third room for

498
00:21:16,040 --> 00:21:16,720
Speaker 3: my baby.

499
00:21:16,480 --> 00:21:21,040
Speaker 1: Boy my in law's room. They need to move out.

500
00:21:21,280 --> 00:21:24,359
Speaker 1: You've got two kids now, Yeah, that's a perfect excuse

501
00:21:24,400 --> 00:21:26,920
Speaker 1: to kids out. Now, Hey, I got two kids, Now

502
00:21:27,119 --> 00:21:30,000
Speaker 1: you gotta go. Sorry, baby's gotta use your room. No

503
00:21:30,359 --> 00:21:31,880
Speaker 1: more room for you, no more room.

504
00:21:32,280 --> 00:21:35,120
Speaker 3: The rooms are small, so we definitely cannot fit two

505
00:21:35,240 --> 00:21:38,440
Speaker 3: single beds in one room. My first child is a

506
00:21:38,520 --> 00:21:41,760
Speaker 3: girl and she already sleeps by herself, and we decided

507
00:21:41,800 --> 00:21:44,399
Speaker 3: having another baby sleep in her room will disrupt her

508
00:21:44,480 --> 00:21:48,320
Speaker 3: sleep pattern, especially because the room is small and could

509
00:21:48,359 --> 00:21:51,480
Speaker 3: not fit another bed, only a small cot. We've tried

510
00:21:51,520 --> 00:21:53,120
Speaker 3: to talk to my in laws, but they are only

511
00:21:53,240 --> 00:21:57,400
Speaker 3: saying they'll move soon, maybe in three months or maybe

512
00:21:57,560 --> 00:22:01,920
Speaker 3: next year. And that's when you say, no, you're moving now. Yeah,

513
00:22:02,160 --> 00:22:03,199
Speaker 3: you're moving right now.

514
00:22:03,320 --> 00:22:05,800
Speaker 1: If three months is possible, then that's what it's gonna be.

515
00:22:06,040 --> 00:22:08,560
Speaker 3: Yeah, you're gonna be moving three months or I'm literally

516
00:22:08,680 --> 00:22:10,920
Speaker 3: taking all of your stuff and throwing it right in

517
00:22:11,040 --> 00:22:11,400
Speaker 3: the track.

518
00:22:11,480 --> 00:22:14,240
Speaker 1: It's such a big jump. Maybe three months, maybe like

519
00:22:14,440 --> 00:22:17,320
Speaker 1: a year, maybe three to twelve months.

520
00:22:17,600 --> 00:22:20,639
Speaker 3: Yeah, we don't know. My fiance has also been asking

521
00:22:20,720 --> 00:22:23,639
Speaker 3: them a lot, but he doesn't get clear answers, so

522
00:22:23,840 --> 00:22:26,680
Speaker 3: I'm wanting to intervene, as they rarely tell me any

523
00:22:26,720 --> 00:22:30,040
Speaker 3: of their decisions, even when I'm physically in front of them.

524
00:22:30,760 --> 00:22:33,600
Speaker 3: I've asked advice from my parents and they're saying I

525
00:22:33,640 --> 00:22:36,000
Speaker 3: should try to be more lenient as it might cause

526
00:22:36,040 --> 00:22:38,159
Speaker 3: some drama if I give them a final date to

527
00:22:38,240 --> 00:22:41,080
Speaker 3: move out. So I'm wondering, would I be the a

528
00:22:41,200 --> 00:22:43,560
Speaker 3: hole if I give them three months to move out

529
00:22:44,000 --> 00:22:46,879
Speaker 3: three months after my baby is born? And there are

530
00:22:47,000 --> 00:22:51,560
Speaker 3: some comments common one, it's not your job, it's your

531
00:22:51,760 --> 00:22:54,679
Speaker 3: husband's job. He should be the one to tell them

532
00:22:54,760 --> 00:22:57,200
Speaker 3: to move out and to give them a definite date

533
00:22:57,720 --> 00:22:59,120
Speaker 3: before the baby is born.

534
00:23:00,200 --> 00:23:00,680
Speaker 1: Set a year.

535
00:23:01,359 --> 00:23:04,400
Speaker 3: It's been a year. You've paid back the money. That's

536
00:23:04,480 --> 00:23:06,440
Speaker 3: it done and dusted, goodbye.

537
00:23:07,359 --> 00:23:09,720
Speaker 1: I've been keeping it all in. You could just not

538
00:23:09,840 --> 00:23:10,119
Speaker 1: do that.

539
00:23:10,760 --> 00:23:12,680
Speaker 3: Let them know how you feel in the moment. You're

540
00:23:12,720 --> 00:23:15,040
Speaker 3: gonna be painted as the bad guy anyway, so lean

541
00:23:15,160 --> 00:23:18,520
Speaker 3: into it. Common too, they have no plans to leave.

542
00:23:18,720 --> 00:23:22,600
Speaker 3: They lied from day one. You are their retirement plan.

543
00:23:23,000 --> 00:23:25,879
Speaker 3: This is your life. This is what some older parents

544
00:23:25,920 --> 00:23:29,280
Speaker 3: are like. They're all entitled and selfish and believe their

545
00:23:29,320 --> 00:23:33,159
Speaker 3: adult kids owe them. This is who you, unfortunately have

546
00:23:33,520 --> 00:23:36,320
Speaker 3: for in laws. Time to stand up for yourself and

547
00:23:36,400 --> 00:23:39,280
Speaker 3: stop being a doormat to those users. You also have

548
00:23:39,359 --> 00:23:41,600
Speaker 3: a major fiance problem because.

549
00:23:41,320 --> 00:23:42,200
Speaker 1: He's allowing this.

550
00:23:42,840 --> 00:23:46,840
Speaker 3: Absolutely this is because he won't kick them out. He's

551
00:23:46,920 --> 00:23:50,159
Speaker 3: more concerned with feeling bad for his parents than for you.

552
00:23:51,000 --> 00:23:53,080
Speaker 3: I'm sure he's seen how his mother has been treating

553
00:23:53,119 --> 00:23:55,239
Speaker 3: you as a mere maid and has done f all

554
00:23:55,280 --> 00:24:00,280
Speaker 3: about it, just allowed it. Ultimatum time they get out,

555
00:24:00,640 --> 00:24:02,280
Speaker 3: or you pack up the kids and leave.

556
00:24:02,640 --> 00:24:03,960
Speaker 1: I hope you have the means to do that.

557
00:24:04,400 --> 00:24:06,480
Speaker 3: Perhaps it'll take you doing that for him to see

558
00:24:06,560 --> 00:24:09,080
Speaker 3: he needs to get off his damn butt and start

559
00:24:09,200 --> 00:24:13,680
Speaker 3: prioritizing his partner and kids instead of being a weak

560
00:24:14,240 --> 00:24:17,760
Speaker 3: and pathetic mommy and daddy's.

561
00:24:17,320 --> 00:24:20,000
Speaker 1: Wittle boy, not the a hole.

562
00:24:21,040 --> 00:24:26,200
Speaker 3: Dang Yeah commentary, you tell him, you tell him there

563
00:24:26,240 --> 00:24:27,480
Speaker 3: is an update one week later.

564
00:24:27,640 --> 00:24:32,560
Speaker 1: Any thoughts. I mean, sure, there's you know, probably a

565
00:24:32,640 --> 00:24:35,000
Speaker 1: nicer way to say that, but like whatever, but you

566
00:24:35,080 --> 00:24:37,240
Speaker 1: know what, I'm not even gonna I don't even wanna

567
00:24:37,240 --> 00:24:40,200
Speaker 1: say it nicer kind of right, Yeah, you gotta kind

568
00:24:40,240 --> 00:24:43,040
Speaker 1: of own up. You're having two kids, but two kids

569
00:24:43,119 --> 00:24:44,040
Speaker 1: they need the space.

570
00:24:44,119 --> 00:24:46,119
Speaker 3: You need to start acting like a parent and not

571
00:24:46,280 --> 00:24:48,080
Speaker 3: let his parents bully you around.

572
00:24:48,200 --> 00:24:49,600
Speaker 1: Right, put your kids first dude.

573
00:24:49,760 --> 00:24:52,440
Speaker 3: Taking into account the comments, I sat with my fiance

574
00:24:52,760 --> 00:24:54,359
Speaker 3: and told them I can't take it anymore.

575
00:24:55,119 --> 00:24:56,800
Speaker 1: If they his parents.

576
00:24:56,720 --> 00:24:59,600
Speaker 3: Don't move out in the next two weeks, I will

577
00:24:59,720 --> 00:25:02,400
Speaker 3: pack my stuff up and my children and I will

578
00:25:02,440 --> 00:25:05,240
Speaker 3: live with my parents, and I expect to be paid

579
00:25:05,400 --> 00:25:08,560
Speaker 3: half of the value of the house. I love my fiance,

580
00:25:08,840 --> 00:25:12,000
Speaker 3: but I love myself and my kids more, and living

581
00:25:12,040 --> 00:25:15,720
Speaker 3: in this situation is not good for everyone. He finally

582
00:25:15,800 --> 00:25:18,760
Speaker 3: put his foot down and told his parents and gave

583
00:25:18,800 --> 00:25:21,960
Speaker 3: them options on all rental places available. They have started

584
00:25:22,000 --> 00:25:24,480
Speaker 3: going to inspections but have no good things to say,

585
00:25:24,720 --> 00:25:27,720
Speaker 3: so I don't know if they're serious or not. My

586
00:25:27,800 --> 00:25:30,159
Speaker 3: mother in law has started being nice to me, but

587
00:25:30,280 --> 00:25:33,200
Speaker 3: I know it's just an act. I have slowly packed

588
00:25:33,200 --> 00:25:36,000
Speaker 3: all their stuff and bought stuff for the house, so

589
00:25:36,200 --> 00:25:38,640
Speaker 3: all their furniture and appliances are now in the garage

590
00:25:39,080 --> 00:25:42,240
Speaker 3: to be sure they took this seriously. I've also packed

591
00:25:42,320 --> 00:25:45,200
Speaker 3: some of my stuff and my child in unborn child

592
00:25:45,280 --> 00:25:48,080
Speaker 3: stuff for when I move out in case they don't.

593
00:25:48,600 --> 00:25:51,119
Speaker 3: I can see my fiance panic and I'm sad I

594
00:25:51,200 --> 00:25:54,240
Speaker 3: put him in this situation, but we both know and

595
00:25:54,359 --> 00:25:57,000
Speaker 3: agree this is all for the best, So thanks read

596
00:25:57,119 --> 00:26:00,480
Speaker 3: it and we'll see in two weeks. Oh, and I

597
00:26:00,600 --> 00:26:04,080
Speaker 3: have stopped all chores I do for them. All I

598
00:26:04,200 --> 00:26:07,960
Speaker 3: do now is for myself and my kid and fiance only,

599
00:26:08,320 --> 00:26:10,480
Speaker 3: And I've asked my fiance also not to pick up

600
00:26:10,480 --> 00:26:11,200
Speaker 3: their slack too.

601
00:26:11,960 --> 00:26:14,560
Speaker 1: Update two. I have a few updates.

602
00:26:14,800 --> 00:26:17,520
Speaker 3: First, I spoke to my fiance's relative, who he treats

603
00:26:17,560 --> 00:26:20,639
Speaker 3: as a sibling, and the relative basically told me what

604
00:26:20,800 --> 00:26:23,159
Speaker 3: most Reddit comments have told me, and has mentioned that

605
00:26:23,240 --> 00:26:26,719
Speaker 3: fiance is blind to his parents' flaws as he has

606
00:26:27,440 --> 00:26:29,920
Speaker 3: as he had only his parents when they moved countries

607
00:26:30,000 --> 00:26:32,600
Speaker 3: and relied and obeyed them fully when he was younger.

608
00:26:33,240 --> 00:26:35,119
Speaker 3: But we can now see he has now woken up

609
00:26:35,200 --> 00:26:37,920
Speaker 3: and has seen that this is not normal behavior. So

610
00:26:38,000 --> 00:26:39,680
Speaker 3: it does seem like this is probably a lot of

611
00:26:39,800 --> 00:26:44,119
Speaker 3: cultural kind of reasons behind this of him like wanting

612
00:26:44,160 --> 00:26:45,920
Speaker 3: to be there for his parents, which makes.

613
00:26:45,800 --> 00:26:49,000
Speaker 1: Sense, yeah, and then moving in yeah. Yeah. However, it

614
00:26:49,040 --> 00:26:51,400
Speaker 1: does not mean that they get to take advantage of you. Yeah.

615
00:26:51,400 --> 00:26:54,639
Speaker 1: I mean usually like when when that happens, there's space

616
00:26:55,480 --> 00:26:57,880
Speaker 1: or there's something that you can do to like make

617
00:26:57,960 --> 00:26:59,560
Speaker 1: work for everyone to be able to live there. But

618
00:26:59,640 --> 00:27:02,119
Speaker 1: if they're if the house is just too small. Too small.

619
00:27:03,520 --> 00:27:05,919
Speaker 3: Second, we went to couple's therapy last week and are

620
00:27:05,960 --> 00:27:09,200
Speaker 3: planning to continue. Both of us need to communicate more,

621
00:27:09,400 --> 00:27:12,840
Speaker 3: and fiance broke down as he was really oblivious to

622
00:27:12,960 --> 00:27:16,320
Speaker 3: his parents using him as an investment, but has now

623
00:27:16,560 --> 00:27:19,520
Speaker 3: seen their ways. I also want to defend him as

624
00:27:19,600 --> 00:27:22,040
Speaker 3: I didn't give him enough credit in my previous posts,

625
00:27:22,520 --> 00:27:25,680
Speaker 3: but he definitely helps me, comforts me, and has gone

626
00:27:25,760 --> 00:27:30,400
Speaker 3: beyond to support me. Lastly, on my fiance's relatives point

627
00:27:30,400 --> 00:27:33,000
Speaker 3: of view, my mother in law told them that they

628
00:27:33,040 --> 00:27:35,480
Speaker 3: were the ones who offered to move out, but we

629
00:27:35,600 --> 00:27:37,560
Speaker 3: didn't want them to move so they can out take

630
00:27:37,600 --> 00:27:39,959
Speaker 3: care of the kids. The relative knew this was BS

631
00:27:40,119 --> 00:27:42,720
Speaker 3: and told her, oh, I thought your son needed you

632
00:27:42,800 --> 00:27:45,480
Speaker 3: out because they need all their rooms now ah. And

633
00:27:45,600 --> 00:27:48,920
Speaker 3: mother in law was seemingly shocked and just said, oh,

634
00:27:49,240 --> 00:27:52,880
Speaker 3: they will need my help, but now they have moved out.

635
00:27:53,000 --> 00:27:53,160
Speaker 2: Ah.

636
00:27:53,520 --> 00:27:55,359
Speaker 1: Thank goodness. It was rough.

637
00:27:55,480 --> 00:27:58,080
Speaker 3: The in laws were not making it easy. They would

638
00:27:58,119 --> 00:28:00,159
Speaker 3: go to open houses late, which I think was on

639
00:28:00,280 --> 00:28:03,240
Speaker 3: purpose to miss it, and my fiance took time off

640
00:28:03,320 --> 00:28:05,720
Speaker 3: of his two jobs to make sure they go check

641
00:28:05,880 --> 00:28:09,560
Speaker 3: inspect rentals and sign on the rentals, and he said

642
00:28:09,560 --> 00:28:12,760
Speaker 3: there's no stop until they find one, basically leaving them

643
00:28:12,840 --> 00:28:16,400
Speaker 3: no choice. So thank god they are officially out any

644
00:28:16,480 --> 00:28:20,960
Speaker 3: final thoughts. They're out here, out of here more over.

645
00:28:21,600 --> 00:28:27,320
Speaker 1: Congratulations. Woo. Yeah, I'm glad that that other relative was like, ah,

646
00:28:27,760 --> 00:28:31,040
Speaker 1: that's not what I heard. I've heard something completely different, interesting,

647
00:28:31,680 --> 00:28:36,560
Speaker 1: So so glad. Yeah, whatever, dude, they're gone. Bye. You

648
00:28:36,600 --> 00:28:40,400
Speaker 1: don't have to deal with that problem anymore. Holidays and stuff. Yeah,

649
00:28:40,640 --> 00:28:42,239
Speaker 1: just fine. You know, it seems like, you know, their

650
00:28:42,280 --> 00:28:46,680
Speaker 1: relationship is fine. It's just it's just that they're living here. Yeah, exactly.

651
00:28:46,960 --> 00:28:48,360
Speaker 1: But now they're not living here. Woo.

652
00:28:49,240 --> 00:28:51,920
Speaker 3: I've changed the locks, we're setting up the nursery, and

653
00:28:52,040 --> 00:28:55,920
Speaker 3: I can finally breathe. Fiance and I are planning on

654
00:28:56,040 --> 00:28:58,200
Speaker 3: selling this house and buying another one in a year

655
00:28:58,360 --> 00:29:01,200
Speaker 3: so that we can start fresh after I give birth

656
00:29:01,360 --> 00:29:04,080
Speaker 3: and after our wedding without the bad memories of my

657
00:29:04,240 --> 00:29:07,080
Speaker 3: in laws in our house. Thanks Reddit for being my

658
00:29:07,200 --> 00:29:09,600
Speaker 3: older sister and brother when my siblings told me to

659
00:29:09,760 --> 00:29:11,720
Speaker 3: suck it up, as they really.

660
00:29:11,640 --> 00:29:12,520
Speaker 1: Don't know how I feel.

661
00:29:13,000 --> 00:29:14,760
Speaker 3: I can't believe the only one who told me to

662
00:29:14,840 --> 00:29:17,160
Speaker 3: stand up to my in laws aside from you guys,

663
00:29:17,760 --> 00:29:21,320
Speaker 3: was my fiance's relative maybe because they're the only one

664
00:29:21,360 --> 00:29:24,120
Speaker 3: who truly knew them. I think my son is now

665
00:29:24,200 --> 00:29:27,600
Speaker 3: ready to come out. And that is the end of

666
00:29:27,680 --> 00:29:28,680
Speaker 3: that story, folks.

667
00:29:29,840 --> 00:29:31,560
Speaker 1: Sam here, we're gonna get back to the stories. But

668
00:29:31,720 --> 00:29:34,480
Speaker 1: here's three of it's bad from our sponsors. My sister

669
00:29:34,560 --> 00:29:38,280
Speaker 1: in law blamed me for ruining Christmas over my gifts?

670
00:29:38,840 --> 00:29:41,200
Speaker 1: Was your gift really bad? And by the way, this

671
00:29:41,440 --> 00:29:44,760
Speaker 1: comes directly from VR slash Okay story Time. We'll subredd

672
00:29:44,800 --> 00:29:47,880
Speaker 1: it one of our own. So last Christmas was a

673
00:29:48,080 --> 00:29:50,560
Speaker 1: bit of a crap show. Usually the family would do

674
00:29:50,680 --> 00:29:53,800
Speaker 1: one gift per person. Everybody would get something funny or

675
00:29:53,880 --> 00:29:57,080
Speaker 1: practical because it was all adults. I like bow ties

676
00:29:57,120 --> 00:29:59,080
Speaker 1: and socks, and people would get me some of the

677
00:29:59,120 --> 00:30:02,280
Speaker 1: most unique boats as I've ever seen. But ever since

678
00:30:02,360 --> 00:30:05,400
Speaker 1: my brother had kids, the standard became kids get lots

679
00:30:05,440 --> 00:30:08,280
Speaker 1: of stuff, adults get one thing, which is fine. By

680
00:30:08,320 --> 00:30:11,440
Speaker 1: the way, this comes from Kohaku twenty four And if

681
00:30:11,440 --> 00:30:12,880
Speaker 1: you want to submit your own stories, go to the

682
00:30:13,000 --> 00:30:15,800
Speaker 1: r slash Okay story Time and separate it. So I'm Angie,

683
00:30:16,000 --> 00:30:19,360
Speaker 1: I'm Sophia, and nop says so a few months before December,

684
00:30:19,640 --> 00:30:21,719
Speaker 1: I went to my niece and nephew and asked them

685
00:30:21,800 --> 00:30:24,520
Speaker 1: what they wanted. My nephew wanted a few games from

686
00:30:24,600 --> 00:30:27,120
Speaker 1: his Steam wishless to which I thought was super easy.

687
00:30:27,440 --> 00:30:30,360
Speaker 1: My niece really wanted a baby doll, specifically a black

688
00:30:30,400 --> 00:30:34,719
Speaker 1: baby doll. Here's the context. She is very very light skinned,

689
00:30:34,840 --> 00:30:37,280
Speaker 1: and she wanted a black baby doll because she wanted

690
00:30:37,320 --> 00:30:40,800
Speaker 1: one that looked like her dad. That's super cute. She

691
00:30:40,920 --> 00:30:43,720
Speaker 1: doesn't understand why she didn't look as brown as her daddy.

692
00:30:44,040 --> 00:30:46,719
Speaker 1: Let me tell you, I have never ugly cried as

693
00:30:46,840 --> 00:30:49,400
Speaker 1: hard or as much after I had the conversation with

694
00:30:49,520 --> 00:30:52,280
Speaker 1: that little girl in my life. She was dang sure

695
00:30:52,440 --> 00:30:55,280
Speaker 1: going to get that doll. A few weeks before Christmas,

696
00:30:55,320 --> 00:30:57,360
Speaker 1: I started looking for this doll. I went to six

697
00:30:57,400 --> 00:30:59,720
Speaker 1: different stores to find the right one. Yes, I could

698
00:30:59,760 --> 00:31:01,480
Speaker 1: have gone on to Amazon, but I wanted to pick

699
00:31:01,520 --> 00:31:05,600
Speaker 1: it up personally. Oh so sweet. The last store had

700
00:31:05,680 --> 00:31:08,080
Speaker 1: the perfect doll with accessories. I took it to an

701
00:31:08,080 --> 00:31:11,040
Speaker 1: actual baby store and asked them what clothes would fit it,

702
00:31:11,360 --> 00:31:13,280
Speaker 1: and then it bought her a bunch of baby clothes

703
00:31:13,320 --> 00:31:15,680
Speaker 1: so she could dress the doll in outfits that actually fit.

704
00:31:16,160 --> 00:31:18,600
Speaker 1: My entire thought was to give her as much baby

705
00:31:18,680 --> 00:31:20,960
Speaker 1: stuff to go with baby doll as I could afford.

706
00:31:21,320 --> 00:31:24,120
Speaker 1: My original budget was about five hundred dollars between the

707
00:31:24,160 --> 00:31:27,440
Speaker 1: two kids, but I went over a very quickly. HI

708
00:31:27,680 --> 00:31:29,840
Speaker 1: work in tech, so it wasn't hurting me to spend

709
00:31:29,880 --> 00:31:32,280
Speaker 1: a bit extra. There's no dollar limit for the kids,

710
00:31:32,360 --> 00:31:33,840
Speaker 1: but for the grown up, so we try to stay

711
00:31:33,880 --> 00:31:36,920
Speaker 1: under one hundred dollar. As Christmas drew closer, I started

712
00:31:36,960 --> 00:31:39,160
Speaker 1: thinking about what I was getting for my nephew. After

713
00:31:39,240 --> 00:31:40,920
Speaker 1: spending so much on my knees, I thought it would

714
00:31:40,960 --> 00:31:43,600
Speaker 1: only be appropriate to try to match that amount. I

715
00:31:43,680 --> 00:31:46,040
Speaker 1: knew my nephew's computer was about five years old, so

716
00:31:46,160 --> 00:31:48,040
Speaker 1: I thought the quickest way to match what I spent

717
00:31:48,080 --> 00:31:50,320
Speaker 1: would be to build him a new PC from scratch,

718
00:31:50,640 --> 00:31:53,160
Speaker 1: so I did just that. I shipped the gifts to

719
00:31:53,280 --> 00:31:56,440
Speaker 1: my mother's house because that's where we decided to do Christmas.

720
00:31:56,600 --> 00:31:58,600
Speaker 1: I flew out a few days before Christmas Eve, got

721
00:31:58,640 --> 00:32:01,280
Speaker 1: a hotel and saw some old friend who never left home,

722
00:32:01,680 --> 00:32:04,080
Speaker 1: then went over to moms for Christmas Eve dinner and

723
00:32:04,440 --> 00:32:07,440
Speaker 1: to spend the night. As an adult, it's super uncomfortable

724
00:32:07,480 --> 00:32:09,800
Speaker 1: to sleep in my old room but mom doesn't like

725
00:32:09,880 --> 00:32:11,640
Speaker 1: it when we don't spend the night at the house.

726
00:32:11,680 --> 00:32:14,240
Speaker 1: So Christmas Eve we just give in to her. My

727
00:32:14,360 --> 00:32:16,200
Speaker 1: sister in law and my brother arrived with the kids.

728
00:32:16,400 --> 00:32:19,360
Speaker 1: They walked in, saw the tree and went bananas seeing

729
00:32:19,440 --> 00:32:21,880
Speaker 1: all this stuff. I told them that a good portion

730
00:32:22,120 --> 00:32:24,920
Speaker 1: of it was for them. I had this elaborate idea

731
00:32:25,000 --> 00:32:26,640
Speaker 1: to do a Santa Claus thing, but my sister in

732
00:32:26,760 --> 00:32:28,880
Speaker 1: law said that they don't want to do Santa Claus.

733
00:32:29,000 --> 00:32:31,080
Speaker 1: She doesn't believe that people should be telling their children

734
00:32:31,080 --> 00:32:33,560
Speaker 1: about Santa Claus as if he's a real person in

735
00:32:33,720 --> 00:32:35,840
Speaker 1: this day and age. Well, he is a real person,

736
00:32:36,000 --> 00:32:39,120
Speaker 1: to be clear. Yeah, I don't really know, Like why

737
00:32:39,200 --> 00:32:41,560
Speaker 1: you wouldn't tell your kids about Santa Claus.

738
00:32:41,640 --> 00:32:45,720
Speaker 3: Well, just like historically he is a real person. Like

739
00:32:46,240 --> 00:32:48,320
Speaker 3: it's not even like, oh he's a real person, Like no,

740
00:32:48,480 --> 00:32:49,480
Speaker 3: he literally.

741
00:32:49,320 --> 00:32:53,040
Speaker 1: Is a real person. Yeah, he's based off a historical figure. Yeah,

742
00:32:53,520 --> 00:32:57,280
Speaker 1: yeahs like Saint Nick. Oh yeah, but Santa Claus. But

743
00:32:57,600 --> 00:33:00,040
Speaker 1: is a real person. Yeah, I don't know. I I

744
00:33:00,080 --> 00:33:03,719
Speaker 1: still believe where are the presents coming from? Then? How

745
00:33:03,760 --> 00:33:05,640
Speaker 1: are you gonna explain them? With presidents? We are you

746
00:33:05,720 --> 00:33:07,840
Speaker 1: gonna make it up? Were younna steal that credit for yourself.

747
00:33:08,320 --> 00:33:10,560
Speaker 1: You can't do that. Sandfuy said that Santa Claus got

748
00:33:10,600 --> 00:33:13,360
Speaker 1: those presents. So this is where things start to go south.

749
00:33:13,760 --> 00:33:15,840
Speaker 1: My brother was super nice and gave me the world's

750
00:33:15,880 --> 00:33:18,200
Speaker 1: biggest hug, asking if I wanted to wait till a

751
00:33:18,280 --> 00:33:21,120
Speaker 1: mom went to sleep and smoked some devil's lettuce in

752
00:33:21,160 --> 00:33:24,479
Speaker 1: the backyard underneath this big old tree like we did

753
00:33:24,520 --> 00:33:27,520
Speaker 1: when we were teenagers. Of course, I said yes. He

754
00:33:27,680 --> 00:33:29,560
Speaker 1: asked me if I got him anything cool, and I

755
00:33:29,600 --> 00:33:32,040
Speaker 1: told him I hoped he'd think what I got him

756
00:33:32,120 --> 00:33:35,080
Speaker 1: was cool. Not far behind was my sister in law.

757
00:33:35,200 --> 00:33:36,800
Speaker 1: She gave me a hug and asked me who all

758
00:33:36,840 --> 00:33:39,200
Speaker 1: the presents were for. I told her that ninety nine

759
00:33:39,200 --> 00:33:41,560
Speaker 1: percent of it was for her kids. She got this

760
00:33:41,760 --> 00:33:44,400
Speaker 1: really sour look and told me that she thought Christmas

761
00:33:44,520 --> 00:33:46,720
Speaker 1: was going to be small, and how I was doing

762
00:33:46,800 --> 00:33:49,560
Speaker 1: this to undermine them as parents. I told her that

763
00:33:49,680 --> 00:33:51,800
Speaker 1: I had no idea what she was talking about. She

764
00:33:52,000 --> 00:33:54,680
Speaker 1: then went on in a hushed, hissy tone, suggesting that

765
00:33:54,800 --> 00:33:56,720
Speaker 1: maybe I would have understood what she was talking about

766
00:33:56,720 --> 00:33:58,440
Speaker 1: if I had asked them what to get the kids

767
00:33:58,480 --> 00:34:00,959
Speaker 1: instead of asking them kids directly and then spending all

768
00:34:01,000 --> 00:34:03,800
Speaker 1: this money spoiling them. I'll give it to her. Maybe

769
00:34:03,800 --> 00:34:04,920
Speaker 1: I should have talked to them first.

770
00:34:05,000 --> 00:34:05,080
Speaker 3: Oh.

771
00:34:05,480 --> 00:34:07,240
Speaker 1: I told her that I was sorry that I wasn't

772
00:34:07,280 --> 00:34:10,239
Speaker 1: trying to undermine them. I said that next year, I'd

773
00:34:10,280 --> 00:34:12,239
Speaker 1: asked them both about gifts and the budget that they

774
00:34:12,280 --> 00:34:15,440
Speaker 1: wanted for their kids for their birthdays. Nothing super elaborate.

775
00:34:15,520 --> 00:34:17,759
Speaker 1: I'd just get them gift cards or something small. She

776
00:34:18,000 --> 00:34:20,839
Speaker 1: was still pussy, told me the damage was already done,

777
00:34:21,040 --> 00:34:24,359
Speaker 1: and stormed off. Christmas Eve dinner was nothing but her

778
00:34:24,480 --> 00:34:27,360
Speaker 1: giving me the side eye, evil looks and making snide

779
00:34:27,440 --> 00:34:31,319
Speaker 1: comments about child free people and how flaunting our wealth

780
00:34:31,400 --> 00:34:34,719
Speaker 1: over people with children is inappropriate and uncalled for. You're

781
00:34:35,560 --> 00:34:37,200
Speaker 1: the worst. She's just jealous.

782
00:34:37,640 --> 00:34:40,080
Speaker 3: She's just just with your money and then you can

783
00:34:40,120 --> 00:34:42,279
Speaker 3: provide for her kids, and I guess the way she

784
00:34:42,400 --> 00:34:42,759
Speaker 3: wants to.

785
00:34:42,960 --> 00:34:45,560
Speaker 1: But like, yeah, that's not what it is about at all.

786
00:34:45,719 --> 00:34:48,920
Speaker 1: You just wanted to give them gifts exactly. I tried

787
00:34:48,960 --> 00:34:51,880
Speaker 1: to ignore it. She was upset and deep in her feelings,

788
00:34:52,000 --> 00:34:54,359
Speaker 1: and it's my mom's house. I don't want to make

789
00:34:54,400 --> 00:34:56,320
Speaker 1: this any worse or cause a scene in my mother's

790
00:34:56,320 --> 00:34:59,040
Speaker 1: house on Christmas eve, so I decided to shut up,

791
00:34:59,200 --> 00:35:01,520
Speaker 1: take it, deal with her for the next few hours

792
00:35:01,560 --> 00:35:04,040
Speaker 1: that we had to be together, and then she could

793
00:35:04,040 --> 00:35:06,759
Speaker 1: take that stank attitude home and let my brother deal

794
00:35:06,800 --> 00:35:09,640
Speaker 1: with it. Everyone went to bed. My brother and I

795
00:35:09,840 --> 00:35:12,360
Speaker 1: snuck out back, poked a joint, talked about how a

796
00:35:12,440 --> 00:35:15,279
Speaker 1: mom would unlive us if she knew, snug back into

797
00:35:15,320 --> 00:35:18,520
Speaker 1: the house and put my nephew's computer together. After getting

798
00:35:18,520 --> 00:35:20,880
Speaker 1: everything installed, we figured that the kids were going to

799
00:35:20,920 --> 00:35:22,640
Speaker 1: be up in a few hours with all the stuff

800
00:35:22,680 --> 00:35:25,000
Speaker 1: to open, so we both went to get a few

801
00:35:25,080 --> 00:35:27,720
Speaker 1: hours of shut eye. Getting woken up at six am

802
00:35:27,840 --> 00:35:30,960
Speaker 1: by the sound of screaming running children only reaffirmed my

803
00:35:31,040 --> 00:35:34,719
Speaker 1: decision to never have children. Nevertheless, hearing them running down

804
00:35:34,760 --> 00:35:37,360
Speaker 1: the stairs screaming made me smile because I knew they

805
00:35:37,360 --> 00:35:40,399
Speaker 1: would love their stuff. I got downstairs, made a cup

806
00:35:40,440 --> 00:35:42,319
Speaker 1: of coffee, and then went to sit on the couch

807
00:35:42,400 --> 00:35:45,080
Speaker 1: around the tree. People started handing out gifts and the

808
00:35:45,120 --> 00:35:48,560
Speaker 1: grown ups opened there one or two things. I loved

809
00:35:48,640 --> 00:35:50,840
Speaker 1: my new bow tie. My brother was longing for a

810
00:35:50,920 --> 00:35:53,719
Speaker 1: Google Watch, so I got in one. My mother really

811
00:35:53,800 --> 00:35:57,160
Speaker 1: wanted a new crock pot from william Sonoma because Miss

812
00:35:57,280 --> 00:35:59,359
Speaker 1: VICKI next door had one and it was so nice.

813
00:36:00,320 --> 00:36:01,960
Speaker 1: Had asked me if I could get my sister in

814
00:36:02,000 --> 00:36:04,279
Speaker 1: law an iPhone, because he really couldn't afford it. He

815
00:36:04,480 --> 00:36:07,120
Speaker 1: would get her something else, but this was something that

816
00:36:07,200 --> 00:36:09,239
Speaker 1: she really wanted, so I got it for her. I

817
00:36:09,320 --> 00:36:11,520
Speaker 1: got a nasty look and a thank you that felt

818
00:36:11,600 --> 00:36:14,719
Speaker 1: more like a fu and once again a speech with

819
00:36:14,840 --> 00:36:17,600
Speaker 1: the undertone that child free people make too much money

820
00:36:17,680 --> 00:36:20,120
Speaker 1: and maybe should contribute more to society instead of being

821
00:36:20,239 --> 00:36:23,480
Speaker 1: child free. Then it was the kid's turn. My nephew

822
00:36:23,560 --> 00:36:25,840
Speaker 1: went bananas at the side of his new computer, and

823
00:36:25,960 --> 00:36:28,800
Speaker 1: even crazier when he learned that he had all the

824
00:36:28,880 --> 00:36:31,720
Speaker 1: games on his wish list already installed on the machine.

825
00:36:32,160 --> 00:36:34,600
Speaker 1: I got a big bear hug, a thank you, and

826
00:36:34,719 --> 00:36:36,840
Speaker 1: my brother went off to help him get set up

827
00:36:36,880 --> 00:36:38,719
Speaker 1: in his room so he could play for a while.

828
00:36:39,120 --> 00:36:40,920
Speaker 1: I told my brother that I would pay to have

829
00:36:41,000 --> 00:36:43,239
Speaker 1: it shipped back to his house when Christmas was over.

830
00:36:43,520 --> 00:36:46,200
Speaker 1: And then, of course, my niece. She started unwrapping all

831
00:36:46,239 --> 00:36:48,800
Speaker 1: the baby clothes, the stroller, and the accessories, but it

832
00:36:48,920 --> 00:36:51,120
Speaker 1: wasn't until she got to the baby doll itself that

833
00:36:51,239 --> 00:36:54,960
Speaker 1: I saw her face light up. She was losing it.

834
00:36:55,440 --> 00:36:58,000
Speaker 1: I got the biggest hug, the biggest thank you, a

835
00:36:58,200 --> 00:37:00,920
Speaker 1: million kisses on the cheek. It was just over the

836
00:37:01,040 --> 00:37:04,840
Speaker 1: moon excited. I loved seeing her that happy. My sister

837
00:37:04,920 --> 00:37:07,600
Speaker 1: in law apparently did. She locked eyes with me and

838
00:37:07,719 --> 00:37:09,520
Speaker 1: asked my niece to come over to her because she

839
00:37:09,600 --> 00:37:11,839
Speaker 1: wanted to see the baby doll. She asked her if

840
00:37:11,880 --> 00:37:14,040
Speaker 1: she was okay with that baby doll or if she

841
00:37:14,120 --> 00:37:18,040
Speaker 1: wanted one that looked more like her. Uh oh, come on, dude.

842
00:37:18,600 --> 00:37:20,360
Speaker 1: I told my sister in law that this was the

843
00:37:20,440 --> 00:37:22,360
Speaker 1: exact baby doll that she wanted and that she was

844
00:37:22,400 --> 00:37:25,399
Speaker 1: super happy. My sister in law kept pushing and saying, well,

845
00:37:25,600 --> 00:37:27,200
Speaker 1: you know, you really should have a baby doll that

846
00:37:27,280 --> 00:37:31,279
Speaker 1: looks like you, all this while keeping eyes locked with me.

847
00:37:31,760 --> 00:37:34,359
Speaker 1: My niece didn't waiver her for a second. She told

848
00:37:34,400 --> 00:37:36,359
Speaker 1: her so many times that that was the baby doll

849
00:37:36,400 --> 00:37:38,399
Speaker 1: that she wanted. She had even picked out a name

850
00:37:38,480 --> 00:37:41,080
Speaker 1: for it. She was super happy, and I would be

851
00:37:41,160 --> 00:37:43,759
Speaker 1: super happy. If you decided to join us for full

852
00:37:43,760 --> 00:37:45,600
Speaker 1: episodes with more stories just like this one, just go

853
00:37:45,680 --> 00:37:48,320
Speaker 1: to Spotify, iHeart Radio, Apple Podcasts, or whatever your favorite

854
00:37:48,320 --> 00:37:51,920
Speaker 1: podcast app is and search Okay Storytime jokes on you.

855
00:37:52,360 --> 00:37:56,600
Speaker 3: Sister in law, Yeah, ah, would you want it?

856
00:37:57,200 --> 00:37:58,560
Speaker 1: Can't can't fool this baby?

857
00:37:58,840 --> 00:37:59,000
Speaker 3: Mm.

858
00:37:59,400 --> 00:37:59,600
Speaker 2: Yeah.

859
00:37:59,760 --> 00:38:03,920
Speaker 1: This is just so ridiculous because I understand, like, you know,

860
00:38:04,040 --> 00:38:05,960
Speaker 1: maybe wanting to talk to the parents because like my

861
00:38:06,520 --> 00:38:09,719
Speaker 1: my sisters have been like, uh, you know, they don't

862
00:38:09,760 --> 00:38:12,080
Speaker 1: need any toys, like talking about you know, my nieces

863
00:38:12,080 --> 00:38:14,520
Speaker 1: and nephews. They don't need any more toys. Yes, please

864
00:38:14,600 --> 00:38:16,960
Speaker 1: don't like there's the house is too full with that.

865
00:38:17,239 --> 00:38:19,160
Speaker 3: No, that is a super that is a super fair

866
00:38:19,239 --> 00:38:22,040
Speaker 3: thing to right, Like please, like that's what it's about.

867
00:38:22,360 --> 00:38:25,200
Speaker 1: But that's clearly not what it's about. It's about the money.

868
00:38:25,719 --> 00:38:28,040
Speaker 3: Yeah, And it's about the sister in law feeling like

869
00:38:28,120 --> 00:38:29,920
Speaker 3: she's being one upped when it really.

870
00:38:29,760 --> 00:38:32,080
Speaker 1: Has nothing to do with the sister. Yeah, And it's like,

871
00:38:32,320 --> 00:38:36,560
Speaker 1: I mean, she's obviously just jealous that that jealous op

872
00:38:36,800 --> 00:38:40,120
Speaker 1: has this money to spoil her kids, and like, you know,

873
00:38:40,520 --> 00:38:43,160
Speaker 1: that's fair to like want to be able to do that,

874
00:38:43,239 --> 00:38:46,160
Speaker 1: but you can because kids are so expensive and you know,

875
00:38:46,640 --> 00:38:50,600
Speaker 1: the economy and whatever. But like, but if if you're

876
00:38:50,680 --> 00:38:52,960
Speaker 1: jealous and you think that people who don't have kids

877
00:38:53,000 --> 00:38:56,400
Speaker 1: should contribute more, then you're literally reaping the benefits of

878
00:38:56,440 --> 00:39:00,279
Speaker 1: that right now, literally, like you are getting so much

879
00:39:00,360 --> 00:39:03,399
Speaker 1: from this? Yeah, so this they are they're not being

880
00:39:03,440 --> 00:39:06,920
Speaker 1: selfish with their money and only like getting things for themselves.

881
00:39:06,600 --> 00:39:09,399
Speaker 3: Like come on, yeah, I bet like if OP wasn't

882
00:39:09,440 --> 00:39:11,839
Speaker 3: spending money on the kids or wasn't spending that much money,

883
00:39:11,920 --> 00:39:13,080
Speaker 3: she would complain about that too.

884
00:39:13,320 --> 00:39:15,800
Speaker 1: My sister in law got up, sat beside me, and

885
00:39:16,040 --> 00:39:18,640
Speaker 1: in a tone everyone could hear, started to ask why

886
00:39:18,719 --> 00:39:20,399
Speaker 1: I chose to get a baby doll that didn't look

887
00:39:20,480 --> 00:39:22,759
Speaker 1: like my niece. Why I was trying to push an

888
00:39:22,760 --> 00:39:25,319
Speaker 1: agenda on her. Why I felt they need to ruin

889
00:39:25,400 --> 00:39:27,600
Speaker 1: her Christmas and force her to play with a baby

890
00:39:27,680 --> 00:39:30,320
Speaker 1: doll that looks nothing like her. She said it was

891
00:39:30,480 --> 00:39:32,960
Speaker 1: confusing her then went on to talk about how I

892
00:39:33,120 --> 00:39:36,680
Speaker 1: was spoiling her children, how I was not about family values,

893
00:39:36,920 --> 00:39:39,000
Speaker 1: how if I would have children of my own, I

894
00:39:39,040 --> 00:39:42,680
Speaker 1: could make decisions about gift giving. But this was ridiculous.

895
00:39:43,120 --> 00:39:45,440
Speaker 1: No children should have this much spent on them, and

896
00:39:45,600 --> 00:39:47,960
Speaker 1: then and next year I wouldn't be allowed to get

897
00:39:48,000 --> 00:39:50,640
Speaker 1: them anything. Instead of waiting for things to escalate, I

898
00:39:50,680 --> 00:39:52,799
Speaker 1: told my mom, my brother, and my niece, and if

899
00:39:52,880 --> 00:39:55,760
Speaker 1: you have a merry Christmas, I went upstairs, got dressed,

900
00:39:56,040 --> 00:39:58,440
Speaker 1: packed my things, and went back to the hotel. My

901
00:39:58,560 --> 00:40:00,400
Speaker 1: phone blew up for the rest of the time. My

902
00:40:00,480 --> 00:40:02,520
Speaker 1: mother was begging me to come back for Christmas dinner.

903
00:40:02,760 --> 00:40:04,840
Speaker 1: My brother was saying that the kids really wanted to

904
00:40:04,880 --> 00:40:07,160
Speaker 1: see me before I had to leave. I ignored them.

905
00:40:07,440 --> 00:40:10,160
Speaker 1: I went to see nos Ratu and flew back home. Heck,

906
00:40:10,280 --> 00:40:13,320
Speaker 1: yeah nice. The next week I called my brother and

907
00:40:13,400 --> 00:40:15,560
Speaker 1: my mom to apologize, tell them that I love them

908
00:40:15,600 --> 00:40:17,920
Speaker 1: both and I hope to see them next year. Am

909
00:40:18,040 --> 00:40:20,240
Speaker 1: I the a hole for getting the kids something nice

910
00:40:20,320 --> 00:40:22,920
Speaker 1: and then leaving to do my own thing to avoid

911
00:40:23,080 --> 00:40:24,920
Speaker 1: a blow up? And that's the end of that story.

912
00:40:24,960 --> 00:40:25,719
Speaker 1: But what do you think?

913
00:40:26,000 --> 00:40:27,600
Speaker 3: You're not the A hole? But I do think that

914
00:40:27,680 --> 00:40:29,800
Speaker 3: you should tell your brother like have because it seems

915
00:40:29,840 --> 00:40:31,680
Speaker 3: like you have a good relationship with your brother. Yeah

916
00:40:31,719 --> 00:40:34,440
Speaker 3: it seems like it, So like have a frank discussion

917
00:40:34,480 --> 00:40:36,960
Speaker 3: with him and say, hey, I tried to do something

918
00:40:37,040 --> 00:40:39,600
Speaker 3: nice for your kids and your wife kind of went

919
00:40:39,680 --> 00:40:42,320
Speaker 3: off on me in a really rude way that I don't.

920
00:40:42,200 --> 00:40:42,879
Speaker 1: Appreciate it all.

921
00:40:43,800 --> 00:40:45,919
Speaker 3: And I want to have a relationship with your kids.

922
00:40:45,960 --> 00:40:48,600
Speaker 3: I love them, but I can't do that if your wife's.

923
00:40:48,320 --> 00:40:51,120
Speaker 1: Trying to interfere. Yeah, I mean, I definitely don't think

924
00:40:51,120 --> 00:40:52,880
Speaker 1: that you're the a whole. I think you're totally fine

925
00:40:53,000 --> 00:40:56,240
Speaker 1: and right to choose yourself and to avoid the drama

926
00:40:56,280 --> 00:40:58,839
Speaker 1: and everything. But at the same time, this doesn't seem

927
00:40:58,880 --> 00:41:00,279
Speaker 1: like the thing that will just kind of blow over.

928
00:41:00,560 --> 00:41:02,719
Speaker 3: No, it's like you can't just run away from this.

929
00:41:02,880 --> 00:41:05,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's the only thing I see exactly, Like I think,

930
00:41:06,080 --> 00:41:09,480
Speaker 1: you know, I understand wanting to avoid things, but it's

931
00:41:09,520 --> 00:41:13,040
Speaker 1: already started. Everyone in the family's kind of involved. So yeah,

932
00:41:13,120 --> 00:41:15,440
Speaker 1: you should just kind of deal with it as it

933
00:41:15,520 --> 00:41:20,400
Speaker 1: comes up right now, and just explain yourself and apologize

934
00:41:20,480 --> 00:41:24,160
Speaker 1: and ask the brother if this was okay, Like just

935
00:41:25,120 --> 00:41:27,439
Speaker 1: if she was doing this in front of everyone. Yeah,

936
00:41:27,440 --> 00:41:30,520
Speaker 1: I'm sure that everyone else will understand how uncomfortable that is,

937
00:41:30,680 --> 00:41:32,640
Speaker 1: and you will not be the bad guy in this situation.

938
00:41:33,040 --> 00:41:36,480
Speaker 1: I agree. So yeah, but that is the end of

939
00:41:36,560 --> 00:41:37,080
Speaker 1: that story.

940
00:41:37,880 --> 00:41:39,960
Speaker 3: I refuse to trust my mother in law with my

941
00:41:40,080 --> 00:41:42,360
Speaker 3: baby since she won't respect my rules.

942
00:41:42,560 --> 00:41:44,399
Speaker 1: You have to earn that trust, Missy.

943
00:41:45,160 --> 00:41:48,000
Speaker 3: I twenty eight female, and my husband thirty five male,

944
00:41:48,200 --> 00:41:51,080
Speaker 3: have been married for seven years and now I have

945
00:41:51,120 --> 00:41:53,960
Speaker 3: a nine month old son. Before pregnancy, I thought I

946
00:41:54,040 --> 00:41:56,960
Speaker 3: had a fantastic relationship with my mother in law. We

947
00:41:57,080 --> 00:42:00,120
Speaker 3: got on like a house on fire, and I guess yes,

948
00:42:00,280 --> 00:42:03,160
Speaker 3: you know in terms of that saying that relationship is

949
00:42:03,200 --> 00:42:07,000
Speaker 3: not gonna last very long. And even the other laws

950
00:42:07,239 --> 00:42:09,319
Speaker 3: would joke that I was the favorite out of all

951
00:42:09,400 --> 00:42:12,640
Speaker 3: the partners. She always made me feel welcome, unlike how

952
00:42:12,680 --> 00:42:15,200
Speaker 3: she treated one of the other sons in law. But

953
00:42:15,400 --> 00:42:19,640
Speaker 3: when I got pregnant, everything shifted. By the way, this

954
00:42:19,760 --> 00:42:21,960
Speaker 3: comes from Money Screen seven oh two to two, and

955
00:42:22,080 --> 00:42:23,560
Speaker 3: if you want to spit your own stories, go to

956
00:42:23,600 --> 00:42:26,320
Speaker 3: the r slash Okay, storytime, separate it. I'm Sophia and

957
00:42:26,440 --> 00:42:30,640
Speaker 3: I'm Angie, and Op says. My family were ecstatic when

958
00:42:30,680 --> 00:42:33,040
Speaker 3: I told them. The next day we told his family,

959
00:42:33,400 --> 00:42:37,439
Speaker 3: and his mom's reaction was flat, not even a hug,

960
00:42:37,680 --> 00:42:40,480
Speaker 3: which was completely out of character. I could tell that

961
00:42:40,600 --> 00:42:43,160
Speaker 3: it hurt my husband too, after seeing the big deal

962
00:42:43,280 --> 00:42:46,880
Speaker 3: my family made. As my pregnancy progressed, I had a

963
00:42:47,000 --> 00:42:50,839
Speaker 3: severe sickness. I couldn't keep food down, was sick all

964
00:42:50,920 --> 00:42:54,759
Speaker 3: day and night, and mentally it was brutal. Friends and

965
00:42:54,880 --> 00:42:57,279
Speaker 3: family kept checking in, but from my mother in law

966
00:42:57,800 --> 00:43:01,319
Speaker 3: nothing she knew I was unwell, didn't ask once how

967
00:43:01,400 --> 00:43:04,360
Speaker 3: I was doing. When I sent scans and updates, she

968
00:43:04,480 --> 00:43:07,479
Speaker 3: either ignored them or brushed them off with something about

969
00:43:07,560 --> 00:43:10,560
Speaker 3: what she was doing. After three months of silence, I

970
00:43:10,640 --> 00:43:14,000
Speaker 3: told my husband I felt disappointed, and he got very defensive,

971
00:43:14,239 --> 00:43:17,239
Speaker 3: like I was attacking her. The next day, suddenly we

972
00:43:17,360 --> 00:43:20,799
Speaker 3: had an invite to lunch, which I strongly suspect wasn't

973
00:43:20,920 --> 00:43:24,880
Speaker 3: a coincidence. At the lunch, instead of reconnecting like I hoped,

974
00:43:25,040 --> 00:43:29,200
Speaker 3: she criticized me the entire time. She mocked me for

975
00:43:29,360 --> 00:43:32,399
Speaker 3: falling pregnancy health guidelines when she saw I wasn't eating

976
00:43:32,520 --> 00:43:35,800
Speaker 3: runny egg, rolled her eyes about us, asking people to

977
00:43:35,920 --> 00:43:40,240
Speaker 3: be vaccinated for whooping cough, and made comments like pregnant

978
00:43:40,239 --> 00:43:43,080
Speaker 3: people these days are scared to break a nail, and

979
00:43:43,640 --> 00:43:44,840
Speaker 3: kids need germs.

980
00:43:46,840 --> 00:43:48,919
Speaker 1: Kids need you out of their lives. Yeah.

981
00:43:49,560 --> 00:43:52,000
Speaker 3: I bit my tongue, not wanting to make a scene,

982
00:43:52,120 --> 00:43:55,920
Speaker 3: but left feeling judged and uncomfortable. When we made our

983
00:43:55,960 --> 00:43:58,879
Speaker 3: birth plan, my husband and I agreed on boundaries. We'd

984
00:43:58,960 --> 00:44:01,759
Speaker 3: tell families what I was in labor, but didn't want

985
00:44:01,800 --> 00:44:04,759
Speaker 3: to spend labor glued to our phones. I wanted my

986
00:44:04,920 --> 00:44:08,439
Speaker 3: mom as my support person, and once baby was born,

987
00:44:08,560 --> 00:44:13,120
Speaker 3: there'd be no kissing, hand washing before holding him. My

988
00:44:13,280 --> 00:44:17,920
Speaker 3: family accepted this without question. His mom gave a reluctant fine, well,

989
00:44:18,000 --> 00:44:22,000
Speaker 3: play by your rules. Labor itself was traumatic, our son

990
00:44:22,120 --> 00:44:25,000
Speaker 3: nearly passed away, and I ended up with an emergency

991
00:44:25,040 --> 00:44:28,040
Speaker 3: C section. During this, my mother in law was calling

992
00:44:28,120 --> 00:44:30,520
Speaker 3: my husband for updates, despite us asking for this.

993
00:44:30,680 --> 00:44:31,440
Speaker 1: Not to happen.

994
00:44:32,040 --> 00:44:35,520
Speaker 3: This is also her eighth grandchild. Straight after birth, my

995
00:44:35,640 --> 00:44:39,000
Speaker 3: mom came to the hospital briefly at the nurse's suggestion

996
00:44:39,239 --> 00:44:42,400
Speaker 3: to drop off colostrum from my freezer. While I was

997
00:44:42,480 --> 00:44:45,759
Speaker 3: being rolled back from ther my mother in law called

998
00:44:45,800 --> 00:44:48,399
Speaker 3: my husband and when he couldn't answer, she called my mom.

999
00:44:49,120 --> 00:44:51,640
Speaker 3: She wasn't happy to hear my mom would give updates

1000
00:44:51,719 --> 00:44:54,879
Speaker 3: once she got to the hospital. Two days later, when

1001
00:44:54,920 --> 00:44:57,760
Speaker 3: my husband had to go home for supplies, I asked

1002
00:44:57,840 --> 00:44:59,759
Speaker 3: my sister to come help me shower and get to

1003
00:44:59,800 --> 00:45:03,440
Speaker 3: the broom since I still couldn't walk properly. Meanwhile, my

1004
00:45:03,520 --> 00:45:06,359
Speaker 3: mother in law kept pushing to visit, saying it wasn't

1005
00:45:06,480 --> 00:45:09,239
Speaker 3: fair that my mom and sister had been there. My

1006
00:45:09,400 --> 00:45:13,480
Speaker 3: partner joined in on the it's not fair, and I

1007
00:45:13,640 --> 00:45:17,800
Speaker 3: felt very deflated, like I was the problem. When we

1008
00:45:17,920 --> 00:45:20,600
Speaker 3: finally went home, his parents were waiting at her house

1009
00:45:21,360 --> 00:45:22,160
Speaker 3: empty handed.

1010
00:45:22,760 --> 00:45:23,960
Speaker 1: I was barely able to.

1011
00:45:24,000 --> 00:45:27,120
Speaker 3: Walk, and instead of a peaceful first moment at home,

1012
00:45:27,920 --> 00:45:31,040
Speaker 3: my baby was pulled out of my arms. Well, I

1013
00:45:31,280 --> 00:45:38,320
Speaker 3: had to serve them coffee genuinely, like, just based off of, like,

1014
00:45:38,760 --> 00:45:41,239
Speaker 3: you know, probably her emotions. Yeah, if I were in

1015
00:45:41,320 --> 00:45:44,120
Speaker 3: this situation, having just given birth, I'd.

1016
00:45:43,960 --> 00:45:46,719
Speaker 1: Be like, get out of my house. Yeah, it's like

1017
00:45:47,080 --> 00:45:49,680
Speaker 1: if I it is so moody, for sure. If I

1018
00:45:49,760 --> 00:45:53,839
Speaker 1: didn't just have a major surgery, which is what this is, yeah,

1019
00:45:54,120 --> 00:45:56,800
Speaker 1: I would Yeah, I mean sure, I would be like,

1020
00:45:57,880 --> 00:46:01,880
Speaker 1: you know, taking care of my guests since, but not

1021
00:46:02,040 --> 00:46:04,080
Speaker 1: making you coffee. Make your own coffee. I just had

1022
00:46:04,080 --> 00:46:04,439
Speaker 1: a baby.

1023
00:46:04,560 --> 00:46:07,399
Speaker 3: Don't take my baby away from me. Baby in my arms,

1024
00:46:07,520 --> 00:46:08,440
Speaker 3: you go make coffee.

1025
00:46:08,760 --> 00:46:10,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, bring me coffee. Girl.

1026
00:46:10,280 --> 00:46:15,040
Speaker 3: My mother in law didn't wash her hands. Despite our

1027
00:46:15,160 --> 00:46:17,720
Speaker 3: very clear boundary, she kissed my newborn.

1028
00:46:18,239 --> 00:46:21,600
Speaker 1: No, I'm sorry, second, I see that bike. Yeah, I'm

1029
00:46:21,719 --> 00:46:23,839
Speaker 1: just like, it's very easy to take him right back.

1030
00:46:23,960 --> 00:46:24,160
Speaker 5: Yeah.

1031
00:46:24,239 --> 00:46:27,200
Speaker 3: When I reminded her not to, she gave me judgmental looks.

1032
00:46:27,640 --> 00:46:29,840
Speaker 3: He ended up crying, and I took him to the

1033
00:46:29,960 --> 00:46:32,600
Speaker 3: nursery to feed him, and they left. I told my

1034
00:46:32,680 --> 00:46:35,440
Speaker 3: husband it wasn't fair that I had to enforce rules

1035
00:46:35,680 --> 00:46:38,560
Speaker 3: we had both agreed on, and he promised he'd handle it.

1036
00:46:39,120 --> 00:46:41,480
Speaker 3: But on their next visit, his mom kissed him again.

1037
00:46:42,160 --> 00:46:43,840
Speaker 3: When I pulled him away, she said, oh, but I

1038
00:46:44,000 --> 00:46:46,880
Speaker 3: just have to try it again, and when I stopped her,

1039
00:46:47,000 --> 00:46:51,240
Speaker 3: she snapped fine and sulked in my living room, ignoring

1040
00:46:51,320 --> 00:46:54,040
Speaker 3: me the rest of the visit. Since then, this has

1041
00:46:54,080 --> 00:46:57,800
Speaker 3: been the pattern. She dismisses her boundaries, makes digs about

1042
00:46:57,840 --> 00:47:00,719
Speaker 3: me being over protective and folks us is only on

1043
00:47:00,840 --> 00:47:03,560
Speaker 3: the baby while ignoring me. I walk through the door

1044
00:47:03,680 --> 00:47:07,400
Speaker 3: and am greeted with give me him. She never asks

1045
00:47:07,600 --> 00:47:10,839
Speaker 3: how I am. After nearly a year of this, I've

1046
00:47:10,960 --> 00:47:13,839
Speaker 3: pulled back. I keep her at arm's length and only

1047
00:47:13,920 --> 00:47:16,600
Speaker 3: see her when necessary. Now my son is about to

1048
00:47:16,640 --> 00:47:19,319
Speaker 3: start daycare, and my mother in law has asked her

1049
00:47:19,400 --> 00:47:21,360
Speaker 3: daughter to message me to let me know that she

1050
00:47:21,480 --> 00:47:24,160
Speaker 3: wants to pick him up and babysit when I return

1051
00:47:24,239 --> 00:47:27,680
Speaker 3: to work instead of him going to daycare. Honestly, the

1052
00:47:27,800 --> 00:47:30,719
Speaker 3: idea makes me feel sick. I don't trust her to

1053
00:47:30,800 --> 00:47:34,160
Speaker 3: respect our rules or follow basic safety measures when I'm

1054
00:47:34,200 --> 00:47:37,640
Speaker 3: not there. I'd happily leave him with my parents because

1055
00:47:37,719 --> 00:47:41,360
Speaker 3: they respect me, checked in on me, and respected our boundaries.

1056
00:47:41,960 --> 00:47:45,399
Speaker 3: They never push, but I do not feel comfortable leaving

1057
00:47:45,480 --> 00:47:48,880
Speaker 3: him alone with her. I see my family weekly. My

1058
00:47:49,000 --> 00:47:52,000
Speaker 3: mom has watched him already, and because I have pulled back,

1059
00:47:52,239 --> 00:47:55,440
Speaker 3: his family sees our son maybe once a month. The

1060
00:47:55,560 --> 00:47:59,399
Speaker 3: problem is my husband. He's wonderful and every other way,

1061
00:48:00,000 --> 00:48:03,000
Speaker 3: but he struggles to set boundaries with his mom, even

1062
00:48:03,080 --> 00:48:06,480
Speaker 3: if I sugarcoat and very politely let him know if

1063
00:48:06,560 --> 00:48:09,880
Speaker 3: something has upset me. I get met with my family,

1064
00:48:10,040 --> 00:48:14,399
Speaker 3: can't do anything right. I feel like you hate my parents, yes,

1065
00:48:15,000 --> 00:48:17,319
Speaker 3: and you're ruining all their visits by telling me all

1066
00:48:17,360 --> 00:48:20,359
Speaker 3: the things they've done wrong. I feel I can only

1067
00:48:20,480 --> 00:48:23,680
Speaker 3: keep finding excuses for so long around why she can't

1068
00:48:23,680 --> 00:48:26,160
Speaker 3: have alone time with him. But if I refuse and

1069
00:48:26,280 --> 00:48:29,279
Speaker 3: actually tell him the real reason why, I'll need to

1070
00:48:29,320 --> 00:48:30,520
Speaker 3: tell him the whole truth.

1071
00:48:31,000 --> 00:48:32,560
Speaker 1: I know I'll be saying that.

1072
00:48:33,000 --> 00:48:35,560
Speaker 3: I'll know I know I'll be saying things that will

1073
00:48:35,560 --> 00:48:38,120
Speaker 3: really hurt his feelings. They'll see it as me treating

1074
00:48:38,160 --> 00:48:41,000
Speaker 3: his parents unfairly, and it could genuinely be the start

1075
00:48:41,040 --> 00:48:43,480
Speaker 3: of the end of us. Wow, as I truly believe

1076
00:48:43,600 --> 00:48:45,200
Speaker 3: he values his relationship with.

1077
00:48:45,200 --> 00:48:46,279
Speaker 1: His mom more than me.

1078
00:48:46,880 --> 00:48:49,160
Speaker 3: So am I wrong for not wanting to leave my

1079
00:48:49,280 --> 00:48:52,920
Speaker 3: son alone with my partner's parents when I'd happily leave

1080
00:48:53,000 --> 00:48:55,480
Speaker 3: him with mine? And there is an update?

1081
00:48:55,560 --> 00:48:58,520
Speaker 1: But what do you think? I think? No, I know,

1082
00:48:59,360 --> 00:49:00,120
Speaker 1: because it's.

1083
00:49:00,000 --> 00:49:03,440
Speaker 3: It's not about you know, your parents versus his parents, right,

1084
00:49:03,760 --> 00:49:06,440
Speaker 3: It's about people who respect boundaries.

1085
00:49:06,000 --> 00:49:08,720
Speaker 1: And people who don't, right, And that should be so obvious.

1086
00:49:08,960 --> 00:49:13,040
Speaker 1: And it's so unfortunate that your your husband is not

1087
00:49:13,680 --> 00:49:16,920
Speaker 1: understanding that, especially since you just had a baby, Like

1088
00:49:17,160 --> 00:49:19,799
Speaker 1: I just had a baby. Whenever I have a kid,

1089
00:49:20,000 --> 00:49:23,160
Speaker 1: I'm literally gonna be like, everyone needs to freaking worship me.

1090
00:49:23,520 --> 00:49:26,719
Speaker 3: I don't wait on me, hand and foot. I am

1091
00:49:26,840 --> 00:49:31,720
Speaker 3: not lifting a finger for at least two weeks at

1092
00:49:31,880 --> 00:49:35,239
Speaker 3: least at least at least I want massages.

1093
00:49:35,480 --> 00:49:37,080
Speaker 1: I want hot chocolate. Yep.

1094
00:49:37,680 --> 00:49:38,600
Speaker 3: I want grapes.

1095
00:49:38,960 --> 00:49:43,239
Speaker 1: I want someone to fan me, yep. I want it all. Okay,

1096
00:49:43,880 --> 00:49:47,440
Speaker 1: who I'm sorry? Did you just make a heart with

1097
00:49:47,560 --> 00:49:50,520
Speaker 1: your body? Did you just develop little limbs?

1098
00:49:50,960 --> 00:49:53,520
Speaker 3: I don't think so I did, and I don't want

1099
00:49:53,520 --> 00:49:56,600
Speaker 3: to hear about it exactly for a long time, I

1100
00:49:56,719 --> 00:50:00,640
Speaker 3: honestly thought I might be the problem. During pregnancy and postpartum,

1101
00:50:00,680 --> 00:50:04,239
Speaker 3: I kept telling myself, maybe I'm just hormonal, maybe I'm

1102
00:50:04,320 --> 00:50:07,960
Speaker 3: being overprotective. I didn't have the energy to properly think

1103
00:50:07,960 --> 00:50:11,160
Speaker 3: about it, so I let things slide. Whenever I did

1104
00:50:11,239 --> 00:50:14,200
Speaker 3: see her, she'd slip in what I call little digs,

1105
00:50:14,800 --> 00:50:17,520
Speaker 3: always with a smile, never in front of my husband,

1106
00:50:18,080 --> 00:50:21,480
Speaker 3: or if they were, they were super subtle. For example,

1107
00:50:21,520 --> 00:50:23,719
Speaker 3: if someone brings up my labor, she jumps in with

1108
00:50:23,800 --> 00:50:26,640
Speaker 3: comments like, my friend Ax had a C section. She'd

1109
00:50:26,680 --> 00:50:29,960
Speaker 3: definitely handle it all much better than you have, but gosh,

1110
00:50:30,080 --> 00:50:32,640
Speaker 3: we got such a beautiful boy out of it. Then

1111
00:50:32,760 --> 00:50:36,040
Speaker 3: she moves straight on in the conversation. These comments happen

1112
00:50:36,160 --> 00:50:39,239
Speaker 3: almost every time she speaks to me, and over time

1113
00:50:39,920 --> 00:50:42,680
Speaker 3: they really build up. That's part of the reason why

1114
00:50:42,760 --> 00:50:45,520
Speaker 3: it's so hard to explain to my partner. If I

1115
00:50:45,600 --> 00:50:48,959
Speaker 3: explained just one instance, he would easily say, I'm sure

1116
00:50:49,080 --> 00:50:51,160
Speaker 3: that's not what he meant. I'm sure that's not what

1117
00:50:51,280 --> 00:50:54,080
Speaker 3: you meant. My mother in law seemed lovely when you

1118
00:50:54,160 --> 00:50:56,400
Speaker 3: first meet her, very over the top, but once you

1119
00:50:56,480 --> 00:50:59,280
Speaker 3: get to know her, you start to see how disingenuous.

1120
00:50:59,360 --> 00:50:59,880
Speaker 1: It really is.

1121
00:51:01,000 --> 00:51:02,840
Speaker 3: This has been the only real issue we've had in

1122
00:51:02,920 --> 00:51:05,920
Speaker 3: our ten years together. It's like the situation with his

1123
00:51:06,040 --> 00:51:09,399
Speaker 3: mom is his kryptonite. In the latest visit, he did

1124
00:51:09,560 --> 00:51:12,960
Speaker 3: finally notice the subtle comments. When we got in the car.

1125
00:51:13,160 --> 00:51:15,880
Speaker 3: After that visit, he brought it up first, saying it

1126
00:51:16,000 --> 00:51:19,400
Speaker 3: was weird and odd. I took that opportunity to explain

1127
00:51:19,480 --> 00:51:22,360
Speaker 3: that this is what it's always like for me. That

1128
00:51:22,600 --> 00:51:25,839
Speaker 3: time it felt like he actually heard me. I think

1129
00:51:25,880 --> 00:51:28,080
Speaker 3: that was the moment he realized I wasn't just making

1130
00:51:28,160 --> 00:51:32,840
Speaker 3: a fuss. And there is another update. While awaiting responses,

1131
00:51:32,960 --> 00:51:35,160
Speaker 3: my husband brought up that his mother wants to have

1132
00:51:35,280 --> 00:51:40,280
Speaker 3: our son once a week. No, I voiced my honest thoughts.

1133
00:51:40,880 --> 00:51:43,319
Speaker 3: My concern is that for anyone to watch my son,

1134
00:51:43,440 --> 00:51:45,160
Speaker 3: there are things I would want to check. Where he

1135
00:51:45,160 --> 00:51:48,279
Speaker 3: would sleep for naps, whether that's safe, if she wants

1136
00:51:48,360 --> 00:51:50,920
Speaker 3: him in the car, what car seat she's using. I

1137
00:51:51,040 --> 00:51:53,760
Speaker 3: know she has a front facing ones, but no rear facing.

1138
00:51:54,360 --> 00:51:56,920
Speaker 3: What food she would give him. She's already been critical

1139
00:51:56,960 --> 00:51:59,320
Speaker 3: of me, asking for them not to give him peanuts

1140
00:51:59,360 --> 00:52:01,920
Speaker 3: until I have induced them myself, to check for allergies.

1141
00:52:02,520 --> 00:52:04,799
Speaker 3: My concern is that I don't believe my husband has

1142
00:52:04,840 --> 00:52:07,560
Speaker 3: the ability to check all these things with his mom

1143
00:52:08,160 --> 00:52:10,480
Speaker 3: and actually call her out if she does something we

1144
00:52:10,560 --> 00:52:13,560
Speaker 3: don't approve of. I told him I absolutely will, but

1145
00:52:13,680 --> 00:52:15,960
Speaker 3: I don't think my relationship with her will last. If

1146
00:52:16,000 --> 00:52:17,520
Speaker 3: I talked to her the way I would need to

1147
00:52:17,680 --> 00:52:20,560
Speaker 3: while she's watching him with my family, I know I

1148
00:52:20,600 --> 00:52:23,520
Speaker 3: could be honest. They'll respect it, and if something goes wrong,

1149
00:52:23,680 --> 00:52:25,600
Speaker 3: I know our relationship will survive.

1150
00:52:25,400 --> 00:52:26,040
Speaker 1: Calling them out.

1151
00:52:26,840 --> 00:52:29,520
Speaker 3: On the flip side, with the daycare, I've already examined

1152
00:52:29,760 --> 00:52:32,239
Speaker 3: everything where he will sleep, what he will eat, who

1153
00:52:32,280 --> 00:52:35,280
Speaker 3: will be looking after him. I also have no issue

1154
00:52:35,320 --> 00:52:39,120
Speaker 3: advocating for him there. His response was interesting. He said

1155
00:52:39,160 --> 00:52:41,480
Speaker 3: he agrees with me, and he doesn't think past him

1156
00:52:41,520 --> 00:52:43,600
Speaker 3: would have said anything, which felt like a win because

1157
00:52:43,640 --> 00:52:46,680
Speaker 3: it showed me he became aware that he wasn't advocating

1158
00:52:46,719 --> 00:52:47,480
Speaker 3: when he should have been.

1159
00:52:48,120 --> 00:52:48,840
Speaker 1: When I asked him what.

1160
00:52:48,880 --> 00:52:51,239
Speaker 3: Has changed, she said he's started to notice things about

1161
00:52:51,280 --> 00:52:54,360
Speaker 3: his mom that he's never noticed before. He says he

1162
00:52:54,480 --> 00:52:56,640
Speaker 3: now doesn't really care of calling her out on bad

1163
00:52:56,719 --> 00:53:00,720
Speaker 3: behavior hurts her feelings, because he realized that everything seems

1164
00:53:00,719 --> 00:53:01,560
Speaker 3: to hurt her feelings.

1165
00:53:02,160 --> 00:53:06,200
Speaker 1: But there's a little bit left. Any final thoughts. I'm

1166
00:53:06,239 --> 00:53:11,200
Speaker 1: glad that he's realizing the ways of his mother. I'm

1167
00:53:11,600 --> 00:53:14,400
Speaker 1: very very glad. I think that's you know, obviously, all

1168
00:53:14,440 --> 00:53:18,239
Speaker 1: of these concerns have been very valid of ope to think.

1169
00:53:18,440 --> 00:53:21,560
Speaker 1: And it's a lot that the this mom is asking,

1170
00:53:21,680 --> 00:53:25,040
Speaker 1: especially so early on. Like I it's probably helpful for

1171
00:53:25,120 --> 00:53:30,400
Speaker 1: people to babysit, especially that often, but sometimes I feel like,

1172
00:53:30,520 --> 00:53:33,680
Speaker 1: especially and I mean obviously in this situation early on,

1173
00:53:34,280 --> 00:53:38,120
Speaker 1: is like not not the best. So oh maybe she

1174
00:53:38,239 --> 00:53:39,960
Speaker 1: can't win. The baby's a little older and.

1175
00:53:40,040 --> 00:53:42,640
Speaker 3: Older when you don't have to worry about her kissing

1176
00:53:42,719 --> 00:53:47,480
Speaker 3: the baby or washing her hands exactly. Yeah, Wow, this

1177
00:53:47,719 --> 00:53:50,440
Speaker 3: was a big step. My concern is he doesn't actually

1178
00:53:50,560 --> 00:53:53,239
Speaker 3: see the issue with her watching him. He just he's

1179
00:53:53,400 --> 00:53:55,120
Speaker 3: just saying he thinks he'll be able to call her

1180
00:53:55,160 --> 00:53:57,400
Speaker 3: out if something goes wrong. But he's promised to call

1181
00:53:57,440 --> 00:54:00,520
Speaker 3: her out before and hasn't followed through. I want to

1182
00:54:00,600 --> 00:54:03,000
Speaker 3: believe him, but I'll only know once I see it.

1183
00:54:03,400 --> 00:54:05,840
Speaker 3: I still don't want her alone with my child. She

1184
00:54:05,960 --> 00:54:08,080
Speaker 3: has already told me things about what she does when

1185
00:54:08,160 --> 00:54:11,719
Speaker 3: she watches her other grandkids, like sharing beds with them

1186
00:54:11,800 --> 00:54:14,120
Speaker 3: and wanting to rub their backs to sleep as her

1187
00:54:14,160 --> 00:54:17,200
Speaker 3: way of bonding with them. I just don't feel comfortable

1188
00:54:17,239 --> 00:54:19,840
Speaker 3: with all that. Now I have a bit more confidence

1189
00:54:19,880 --> 00:54:22,480
Speaker 3: that I'm not crazy and reading into things. I feel

1190
00:54:22,520 --> 00:54:25,160
Speaker 3: like I'll be more confident advocating for myself when the

1191
00:54:25,239 --> 00:54:28,920
Speaker 3: time comes. And that is the end of that story, folks.

1192
00:54:29,200 --> 00:54:31,560
Speaker 2: Right, Hey, y'all, it's John og Host here.

1193
00:54:31,640 --> 00:54:33,040
Speaker 5: We're gonna get back to the stories, but here's a

1194
00:54:33,080 --> 00:54:34,800
Speaker 5: quick three minute break from as for more sponsors.

1195
00:54:35,400 --> 00:54:38,080
Speaker 2: My ex took me to court and I don't even

1196
00:54:38,200 --> 00:54:42,640
Speaker 2: know why to under rest I do? I don't know, Okay,

1197
00:54:43,320 --> 00:54:46,960
Speaker 2: trigger warning, verbal abuse. I twenty eight male, started a

1198
00:54:47,040 --> 00:54:50,040
Speaker 2: relationship with Anna twenty eight female, the mother of my daughters,

1199
00:54:50,080 --> 00:54:52,959
Speaker 2: at the age of sixteen, and had our first daughter

1200
00:54:53,080 --> 00:54:58,880
Speaker 2: at seventeen. That is not the ideal time. No, she

1201
00:54:59,040 --> 00:55:01,680
Speaker 2: was pretty emotionally on unstable, and I was a doormat

1202
00:55:01,760 --> 00:55:03,960
Speaker 2: that wanted to protect her and make all of her

1203
00:55:04,000 --> 00:55:06,759
Speaker 2: dreams come true, even if I got hurt by the way.

1204
00:55:06,880 --> 00:55:09,600
Speaker 2: This comes from user throwaway TA one two three on

1205
00:55:09,719 --> 00:55:11,520
Speaker 2: the Comfort Level pod subredd it and if you want

1206
00:55:11,520 --> 00:55:15,279
Speaker 2: to submit your own stories, go to the r slash okay, storytime,

1207
00:55:15,360 --> 00:55:19,400
Speaker 2: subredd it. I'm Dakota, I'm Sophia, I'm Riley, and Op

1208
00:55:19,600 --> 00:55:22,799
Speaker 2: says our time together was a dangerous rollercoaster in which

1209
00:55:22,920 --> 00:55:25,600
Speaker 2: her mother would verbally abuse me, and Anna would change

1210
00:55:25,640 --> 00:55:28,120
Speaker 2: her mind on being together or not based on her

1211
00:55:28,160 --> 00:55:30,759
Speaker 2: mother's mood. We went on and off, tried to date

1212
00:55:30,800 --> 00:55:33,640
Speaker 2: other people, but ended up getting back together at eighteen

1213
00:55:33,800 --> 00:55:36,680
Speaker 2: and had our second daughter at nineteen.

1214
00:55:37,040 --> 00:55:40,160
Speaker 1: Doesn't still not a great time to do that. Oh yeah,

1215
00:55:40,200 --> 00:55:42,400
Speaker 1: it doesn't really feel like there's a lot of learning.

1216
00:55:42,760 --> 00:55:46,040
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, do tell me learn what protection is?

1217
00:55:46,480 --> 00:55:46,680
Speaker 3: Yeah?

1218
00:55:47,200 --> 00:55:49,719
Speaker 2: Can we learn? Can we learn what that is?

1219
00:55:50,239 --> 00:55:50,520
Speaker 1: Thank you?

1220
00:55:51,239 --> 00:55:53,759
Speaker 2: Anna was not acting like herself during these years. She

1221
00:55:53,960 --> 00:55:55,360
Speaker 2: was not the girl I fell in love with you.

1222
00:55:55,440 --> 00:55:59,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, because she's a teenager dealing with pregnancy and children.

1223
00:55:59,400 --> 00:56:01,919
Speaker 2: As you go through a lot of change that time already. Yeah,

1224
00:56:02,560 --> 00:56:04,880
Speaker 2: this is turbo change. She was not the girl I

1225
00:56:04,920 --> 00:56:08,280
Speaker 2: fell in love with, but I still stayed because nobody

1226
00:56:08,400 --> 00:56:10,640
Speaker 2: was helping her with her mental health. Her mother would

1227
00:56:10,680 --> 00:56:12,560
Speaker 2: act as if it was just a phase, and her

1228
00:56:12,680 --> 00:56:16,520
Speaker 2: father loves to avoid everything that will make him fight

1229
00:56:16,600 --> 00:56:19,279
Speaker 2: with his wife. Two years later, Anna cheated on me

1230
00:56:19,400 --> 00:56:21,360
Speaker 2: with an ex and it hurt a lot because we

1231
00:56:21,440 --> 00:56:23,480
Speaker 2: were living at the time with her parents.

1232
00:56:23,600 --> 00:56:26,600
Speaker 3: Oh, with all the what she was.

1233
00:56:26,600 --> 00:56:29,279
Speaker 5: Living, you were living with your parents and you got cheated.

1234
00:56:29,040 --> 00:56:33,480
Speaker 2: On, cheated on while living with her parents seemed like

1235
00:56:33,480 --> 00:56:37,920
Speaker 2: pretty awful people too, So doesn't seem like a great spot. No, okay,

1236
00:56:38,200 --> 00:56:40,239
Speaker 2: we were living with her parents, and with all the

1237
00:56:40,320 --> 00:56:44,040
Speaker 2: verbal abuse from her mother, we moved out to my parents'

1238
00:56:44,080 --> 00:56:46,440
Speaker 2: home because we were looking for a rental near a

1239
00:56:46,520 --> 00:56:50,560
Speaker 2: good school. I never said or told anyone about the cheating.

1240
00:56:50,920 --> 00:56:53,120
Speaker 2: I broke up with her, but my parents told me

1241
00:56:53,280 --> 00:56:56,520
Speaker 2: not to bother coming back home without my whole family.

1242
00:56:57,200 --> 00:57:01,239
Speaker 3: Eh, sheeess, No one is great and this like all

1243
00:57:01,360 --> 00:57:03,600
Speaker 3: your old families are really toxic.

1244
00:57:03,800 --> 00:57:07,399
Speaker 2: Sounds very like a very traditional thing to think. Yeah,

1245
00:57:08,719 --> 00:57:11,759
Speaker 2: but also i'd probably say something similar if I didn't

1246
00:57:11,840 --> 00:57:12,800
Speaker 2: know you were cheated on.

1247
00:57:13,400 --> 00:57:13,839
Speaker 1: It's true.

1248
00:57:14,239 --> 00:57:16,280
Speaker 2: Anna tried to tell my mother how I was taking

1249
00:57:16,320 --> 00:57:18,760
Speaker 2: the girls with me since she was clearly not in

1250
00:57:18,880 --> 00:57:21,200
Speaker 2: her right mind, but Mom wouldn't listen and said that

1251
00:57:21,280 --> 00:57:24,360
Speaker 2: since we weren't together, they could stop paying my tuition.

1252
00:57:24,760 --> 00:57:27,080
Speaker 2: They only did it to shut Anna's mother up about

1253
00:57:27,360 --> 00:57:30,760
Speaker 2: me being a irresponsible man, even though I had a

1254
00:57:30,880 --> 00:57:34,960
Speaker 2: job while studying and paid for our stuff. Is that

1255
00:57:35,040 --> 00:57:36,360
Speaker 2: a censor for unemployed?

1256
00:57:36,880 --> 00:57:36,920
Speaker 3: No?

1257
00:57:37,000 --> 00:57:38,080
Speaker 1: I don't think so what is that?

1258
00:57:38,200 --> 00:57:40,920
Speaker 2: I'm so confused. Anna and I made a deal about

1259
00:57:40,960 --> 00:57:43,720
Speaker 2: pretending to be a couple so we could finish our careers.

1260
00:57:44,080 --> 00:57:46,600
Speaker 2: The first week was a nightmare, and I ended up

1261
00:57:46,720 --> 00:57:50,480
Speaker 2: unblocking and texting Elsa, twenty six female, my ex best

1262
00:57:50,560 --> 00:57:55,000
Speaker 2: friend and my ex about wanting to get our friendship back.

1263
00:57:55,680 --> 00:57:59,560
Speaker 1: Oh oh, this is messy, messy, messy.

1264
00:58:00,240 --> 00:58:03,160
Speaker 2: We used to talk about everything even after our breakup,

1265
00:58:03,360 --> 00:58:05,600
Speaker 2: but she hated Anna and I blocked her. After a

1266
00:58:05,680 --> 00:58:08,800
Speaker 2: fight they both had, Elsa texted me back, I should

1267
00:58:08,840 --> 00:58:11,360
Speaker 2: have never opened my door to you. If you keep

1268
00:58:11,680 --> 00:58:14,880
Speaker 2: pestering me, I will call the cops. I blocked her

1269
00:58:14,920 --> 00:58:18,040
Speaker 2: again because I could only handle one crazy X at

1270
00:58:18,120 --> 00:58:20,680
Speaker 2: a time for a little bit of context about Elso

1271
00:58:20,880 --> 00:58:23,760
Speaker 2: we broke up because after sleeping together, she would call

1272
00:58:23,960 --> 00:58:26,760
Speaker 2: every day at any hour during the night, my phone,

1273
00:58:26,880 --> 00:58:29,760
Speaker 2: my house, my parents. It didn't matter if I was asleep.

1274
00:58:29,840 --> 00:58:30,320
Speaker 1: I needed to.

1275
00:58:30,320 --> 00:58:32,680
Speaker 2: Respond and send her a picture to confirm that I was.

1276
00:58:32,680 --> 00:58:33,360
Speaker 1: Where I told her.

1277
00:58:33,960 --> 00:58:36,480
Speaker 2: Yikes, So she became the FBI.

1278
00:58:36,880 --> 00:58:38,800
Speaker 1: That's crazy, I mean, like, it really sucks.

1279
00:58:38,840 --> 00:58:43,080
Speaker 3: So he went from this like very way too fast

1280
00:58:43,240 --> 00:58:46,680
Speaker 3: relationship with you know, his current girlfriend that you know

1281
00:58:46,800 --> 00:58:50,080
Speaker 3: when they were dating at sixteen, and then breaks up.

1282
00:58:50,120 --> 00:58:53,680
Speaker 3: I guess at eighteen, gets in this relationship with a

1283
00:58:53,840 --> 00:58:57,320
Speaker 3: crazy person and then gets back like it doesn't just

1284
00:58:58,000 --> 00:58:59,520
Speaker 3: none of these relationships are very good.

1285
00:59:01,000 --> 00:59:04,720
Speaker 2: Family reunion. My parents needed to be in the photo

1286
00:59:05,360 --> 00:59:08,760
Speaker 2: with friends only males or I needed to leave as

1287
00:59:09,120 --> 00:59:11,400
Speaker 2: and had to call her as soon as I got home.

1288
00:59:11,880 --> 00:59:14,320
Speaker 2: Elsa would text my female friends to tell them about

1289
00:59:14,320 --> 00:59:16,320
Speaker 2: how I was a womanizer and to please text her

1290
00:59:16,400 --> 00:59:18,920
Speaker 2: in case I was doing something suspicious. You wanted to

1291
00:59:19,000 --> 00:59:21,040
Speaker 2: get your friendship back with this person?

1292
00:59:21,760 --> 00:59:26,920
Speaker 1: Why why? Oh? Pee making not great decisions.

1293
00:59:27,000 --> 00:59:30,160
Speaker 3: But also you're very young and clearly had to you know,

1294
00:59:30,680 --> 00:59:33,439
Speaker 3: or were expected to mature at a very young age,

1295
00:59:33,480 --> 00:59:34,439
Speaker 3: and you're not there yet.

1296
00:59:35,200 --> 00:59:38,120
Speaker 2: After four months together, I ended it and at first

1297
00:59:38,320 --> 00:59:41,200
Speaker 2: she went crazy about it and then back to being normal.

1298
00:59:41,640 --> 00:59:44,520
Speaker 2: So when she texted me that, I just blocked her again.

1299
00:59:45,080 --> 00:59:47,640
Speaker 2: I know I should be single and my daughters deserve

1300
00:59:47,720 --> 00:59:50,760
Speaker 2: better parents. Last year, my father passed away and I

1301
00:59:50,840 --> 00:59:53,240
Speaker 2: had episodes where I was waiting for him for breakfast

1302
00:59:53,640 --> 00:59:56,240
Speaker 2: where I was still with Elsa, where I was barely

1303
00:59:56,320 --> 01:00:00,400
Speaker 2: starting university, and some where I would scream at Anna

1304
01:00:00,520 --> 01:00:02,840
Speaker 2: when our girls were at school about how she ruined

1305
01:00:02,920 --> 01:00:05,760
Speaker 2: my life. She was my rock, she helped me heal,

1306
01:00:05,880 --> 01:00:09,080
Speaker 2: and somehow she went from crazy Anna to the Anna

1307
01:00:09,240 --> 01:00:11,720
Speaker 2: I was once in love with. But I was already

1308
01:00:11,760 --> 01:00:14,600
Speaker 2: broken and full of resentment, so I went to therapy.

1309
01:00:15,200 --> 01:00:15,520
Speaker 5: Nice.

1310
01:00:16,000 --> 01:00:17,840
Speaker 2: Cool, We could have done that a.

1311
01:00:17,880 --> 01:00:18,800
Speaker 1: Lot of therapy.

1312
01:00:19,000 --> 01:00:22,120
Speaker 3: Well, oh, Pete clearly didn't have like funds and stuff. Yeah,

1313
01:00:22,600 --> 01:00:24,960
Speaker 3: if he was staying with her parents and then trying

1314
01:00:25,000 --> 01:00:26,040
Speaker 3: to stay with his parents.

1315
01:00:26,640 --> 01:00:29,480
Speaker 5: It's sort of like the story about the man that

1316
01:00:29,640 --> 01:00:31,640
Speaker 5: had three loaves of bread and a pretzel.

1317
01:00:32,080 --> 01:00:33,320
Speaker 2: I've never heard that story.

1318
01:00:33,560 --> 01:00:36,400
Speaker 5: Yes, I read a really bad book to get to this.

1319
01:00:36,520 --> 01:00:38,800
Speaker 5: So there was once a man that had three loaves

1320
01:00:38,840 --> 01:00:41,840
Speaker 5: of bread and one small pretzel at home. He went home,

1321
01:00:42,120 --> 01:00:44,400
Speaker 5: Ate a lover of bread, I'm still hungry. Ate the

1322
01:00:44,440 --> 01:00:47,120
Speaker 5: second lever of bread. I'm still hungry. Ate the third

1323
01:00:47,360 --> 01:00:50,640
Speaker 5: piece of loaf of bread. I'm still hungry. Then he

1324
01:00:50,760 --> 01:00:54,120
Speaker 5: went and ate the small pretzel and said, I am full.

1325
01:00:54,520 --> 01:00:57,720
Speaker 5: I must have eaten the small pretzel first. But was

1326
01:00:57,800 --> 01:01:00,280
Speaker 5: it the small pretzel that made him full or the

1327
01:01:00,400 --> 01:01:04,600
Speaker 5: three prior loaves of bread. So I think to this

1328
01:01:04,800 --> 01:01:07,520
Speaker 5: point you kind of got to live life, and then

1329
01:01:07,560 --> 01:01:10,120
Speaker 5: you're like, I gotta go to therapy now, just sort

1330
01:01:10,160 --> 01:01:11,280
Speaker 5: of how it happens.

1331
01:01:11,440 --> 01:01:14,440
Speaker 3: He couldn't have Yeah, couldn't have realized made that realization

1332
01:01:14,520 --> 01:01:16,120
Speaker 3: without getting here exactly.

1333
01:01:16,160 --> 01:01:17,040
Speaker 1: And I see what you're saying.

1334
01:01:17,280 --> 01:01:19,600
Speaker 5: Yeah, that book was horrible, but that's the only good

1335
01:01:19,640 --> 01:01:21,160
Speaker 5: piece of advice I got from it.

1336
01:01:22,000 --> 01:01:22,920
Speaker 2: Pretzels and bread.

1337
01:01:23,080 --> 01:01:25,959
Speaker 1: That Susan bread. I've actually heard that story. Oh nice.

1338
01:01:26,480 --> 01:01:27,640
Speaker 5: Have you heard about the rock one?

1339
01:01:28,200 --> 01:01:28,600
Speaker 1: Anyway?

1340
01:01:29,200 --> 01:01:35,240
Speaker 2: So there was this one guy, Dwayne. So Anna doesn't

1341
01:01:35,280 --> 01:01:38,760
Speaker 2: remember most of our time together, good or bad, her

1342
01:01:38,800 --> 01:01:40,919
Speaker 2: trauma with the birth of our oldest, how she would

1343
01:01:40,920 --> 01:01:44,720
Speaker 2: try to hurt herself, our baby's milestones videos she made

1344
01:01:44,760 --> 01:01:47,720
Speaker 2: for them. During this period, I noticed that I had

1345
01:01:47,800 --> 01:01:50,520
Speaker 2: sent Elsa a text hope you had a great day.

1346
01:01:50,720 --> 01:01:52,800
Speaker 2: I wish we could talk again to clear the air.

1347
01:01:53,520 --> 01:01:55,640
Speaker 2: I think I did it in one of my episodes.

1348
01:01:55,840 --> 01:01:58,080
Speaker 2: I don't know. I just ignored it since she was

1349
01:01:58,160 --> 01:02:01,320
Speaker 2: blocked again. We moved, moved into a nice apartment, and

1350
01:02:01,440 --> 01:02:04,680
Speaker 2: we're finally free from each other's family drama. But I

1351
01:02:04,760 --> 01:02:07,800
Speaker 2: messed up everything we've been building together ever since living

1352
01:02:07,840 --> 01:02:10,760
Speaker 2: alone with our little family. Our girls hated living with

1353
01:02:10,840 --> 01:02:13,880
Speaker 2: their grandparents because of her mother, so living together just

1354
01:02:14,080 --> 01:02:16,800
Speaker 2: us gave them the peace we were looking for. Unlike

1355
01:02:16,880 --> 01:02:20,120
Speaker 2: our romantic soap opera, we can actually co parent pretty

1356
01:02:20,160 --> 01:02:24,840
Speaker 2: well and both girls are sweet little fighters. Our oldest

1357
01:02:24,920 --> 01:02:28,520
Speaker 2: has won some local karate tournaments that our youngest is

1358
01:02:28,560 --> 01:02:31,160
Speaker 2: in a choir because she loves singing and wants to

1359
01:02:31,240 --> 01:02:34,560
Speaker 2: be better at it. Heck, yeah, we put them in therapy,

1360
01:02:34,760 --> 01:02:37,120
Speaker 2: but got told that they're fine and we shouldn't assume

1361
01:02:37,160 --> 01:02:40,760
Speaker 2: that since we're not okay, they're not okay. Okay, so cool,

1362
01:02:41,280 --> 01:02:45,040
Speaker 2: good grades, good activities, family outings, dates with my girls.

1363
01:02:45,120 --> 01:02:48,920
Speaker 2: Anna got her degree. It's not about pretending anymore. We

1364
01:02:49,080 --> 01:02:52,560
Speaker 2: are a more stable and happy family. I told Anna

1365
01:02:52,640 --> 01:02:56,160
Speaker 2: about starting as friends again, and see where this all goes.

1366
01:02:56,520 --> 01:02:58,600
Speaker 2: The thing is Elsa sued.

1367
01:02:58,320 --> 01:02:59,720
Speaker 1: We've forgot the title.

1368
01:03:01,120 --> 01:03:03,440
Speaker 3: We've gone through so much I forgot the title.

1369
01:03:04,120 --> 01:03:06,880
Speaker 2: And again it's why do we want to reconnect with

1370
01:03:06,920 --> 01:03:08,480
Speaker 2: this person who was not.

1371
01:03:08,960 --> 01:03:10,400
Speaker 1: Good well for us?

1372
01:03:10,840 --> 01:03:12,320
Speaker 3: It seems like oh p, he's like, I don't even

1373
01:03:12,400 --> 01:03:15,960
Speaker 3: remember asking to reconnect like it was in this you know,

1374
01:03:16,480 --> 01:03:18,880
Speaker 3: clearly Op, he has, you know, gone through a lot

1375
01:03:18,920 --> 01:03:20,720
Speaker 3: of trauma and seemingly has.

1376
01:03:20,680 --> 01:03:21,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, but no, Op.

1377
01:03:21,560 --> 01:03:23,760
Speaker 2: He's like, I'm telling Anna about starting his friends again,

1378
01:03:23,760 --> 01:03:25,240
Speaker 2: and Anna.

1379
01:03:25,560 --> 01:03:27,920
Speaker 3: Like he's saying, because they I don't think they're together

1380
01:03:28,040 --> 01:03:29,960
Speaker 3: officially again. I think they've been co parenting. And I

1381
01:03:30,040 --> 01:03:32,640
Speaker 3: think he's saying to Anna, I want us to start

1382
01:03:32,640 --> 01:03:33,320
Speaker 3: as friends again.

1383
01:03:34,000 --> 01:03:38,880
Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, okay, yeah, all right. The thing is Elsa

1384
01:03:38,960 --> 01:03:42,040
Speaker 2: sued me. My mother just called crying a few hours

1385
01:03:42,040 --> 01:03:44,360
Speaker 2: ago about some papers for me, and how Elsa is

1386
01:03:44,400 --> 01:03:49,560
Speaker 2: accusing me of pergassment, saying that I'm using international numbers

1387
01:03:49,640 --> 01:03:52,960
Speaker 2: to cent her threats via voicemail and texts. I'm calling

1388
01:03:53,080 --> 01:03:55,280
Speaker 2: my cousin who's a lawyer, to see what I can do,

1389
01:03:55,560 --> 01:03:57,240
Speaker 2: and I will talk with Anna after that.

1390
01:03:57,560 --> 01:04:00,120
Speaker 3: And there seems like you could pretty easily prove that

1391
01:04:00,240 --> 01:04:03,480
Speaker 3: you're not sending her international phone calls.

1392
01:04:04,120 --> 01:04:07,560
Speaker 2: Plot twist. He's been doing that, He's just blacking out.

1393
01:04:07,960 --> 01:04:10,400
Speaker 2: He's been doing that in a fugue state. Uh hope,

1394
01:04:10,520 --> 01:04:13,880
Speaker 2: every time he's been sending texts with international numbers.

1395
01:04:14,440 --> 01:04:17,040
Speaker 3: Actually, well, now I'm like, maybe because he didn't even

1396
01:04:17,080 --> 01:04:18,160
Speaker 3: remember texting.

1397
01:04:17,840 --> 01:04:20,919
Speaker 2: Her, Yeah, apparently uh oh fugue state.

1398
01:04:21,240 --> 01:04:23,320
Speaker 1: Uh oh, well, then I guess you can plead like

1399
01:04:23,360 --> 01:04:27,880
Speaker 1: an insanity case could be. Maybe I don't Uh oh, no,

1400
01:04:27,960 --> 01:04:28,480
Speaker 1: I'm scared.

1401
01:04:28,840 --> 01:04:31,360
Speaker 2: I know I only got two comments on my first post,

1402
01:04:31,440 --> 01:04:33,680
Speaker 2: but at this point I think I'm just doing it

1403
01:04:33,800 --> 01:04:36,440
Speaker 2: to vent, as one of them said. My cousin reassured

1404
01:04:36,480 --> 01:04:38,680
Speaker 2: me that after reading the papers my mother showed him.

1405
01:04:38,800 --> 01:04:42,520
Speaker 2: Elsa twenty four female, only filed but never showed any evidence,

1406
01:04:42,680 --> 01:04:45,240
Speaker 2: not even fake ones or at least the text that

1407
01:04:45,360 --> 01:04:48,120
Speaker 2: I sent. She was being cited to present everything she

1408
01:04:48,240 --> 01:04:49,760
Speaker 2: had on me at the end of this month for

1409
01:04:49,920 --> 01:04:53,120
Speaker 2: the pestmint claim. I was on my way home trying

1410
01:04:53,160 --> 01:04:55,120
Speaker 2: to think of how to tell Anna, twenty eight female.

1411
01:04:55,560 --> 01:04:57,320
Speaker 2: She was sitting on the sofa looking at her phone

1412
01:04:57,320 --> 01:04:59,480
Speaker 2: and asked if I needed to tell her anything because

1413
01:04:59,520 --> 01:05:01,880
Speaker 2: my mother just called her. Since I wasn't responding to

1414
01:05:01,960 --> 01:05:05,480
Speaker 2: her calls. My mind went blank and I just started crying,

1415
01:05:05,800 --> 01:05:09,320
Speaker 2: asking for forgiveness. Her face didn't show any emotion, and

1416
01:05:09,400 --> 01:05:12,600
Speaker 2: she just got her laptop out. She started searching about Elsa,

1417
01:05:12,680 --> 01:05:14,640
Speaker 2: and with a few clicks, Anna found out how Elsa

1418
01:05:14,800 --> 01:05:17,520
Speaker 2: was in a happy, long term relationship with a guy

1419
01:05:17,720 --> 01:05:20,000
Speaker 2: working for the social Media Department of a National Health

1420
01:05:20,240 --> 01:05:23,200
Speaker 2: of National health in our country. Her mother had passed

1421
01:05:23,200 --> 01:05:24,960
Speaker 2: away the year I asked to clear the air, which

1422
01:05:25,000 --> 01:05:28,040
Speaker 2: could explain her text, since her mother hated our relationship

1423
01:05:28,120 --> 01:05:30,480
Speaker 2: and knowing her, she loves to be perfect and us

1424
01:05:30,560 --> 01:05:32,760
Speaker 2: together was the only thing she disappointed her mama. On

1425
01:05:33,280 --> 01:05:36,280
Speaker 2: Anna wanted to call her boyfriend since his number was

1426
01:05:36,360 --> 01:05:39,200
Speaker 2: on LinkedIn, but I stopped her because just as Elsa

1427
01:05:39,280 --> 01:05:41,600
Speaker 2: didn't have any proof of what she claims, neither do

1428
01:05:41,720 --> 01:05:44,360
Speaker 2: we have a thing. So it's more of a she said,

1429
01:05:44,440 --> 01:05:47,760
Speaker 2: he said, and I don't think he will believe strangers

1430
01:05:48,320 --> 01:05:51,440
Speaker 2: till now there is no emotion in her face, and

1431
01:05:51,640 --> 01:05:52,920
Speaker 2: I hated myself for it.

1432
01:05:53,200 --> 01:05:55,840
Speaker 3: In Anna's face, like when he's telling her all of this, yeah.

1433
01:05:55,720 --> 01:05:57,000
Speaker 1: I don't know.

1434
01:05:57,200 --> 01:06:04,360
Speaker 2: Sometimes, yeah, the English major sometimes the syntax.

1435
01:06:03,960 --> 01:06:06,040
Speaker 1: In this story just like goes all over the place.

1436
01:06:06,080 --> 01:06:08,520
Speaker 2: I'm not sure who people are talking about, Ann, which

1437
01:06:08,560 --> 01:06:09,520
Speaker 2: people are being talked about.

1438
01:06:09,640 --> 01:06:11,880
Speaker 3: I think he's telling Anna that he's being sued by Elsa.

1439
01:06:12,120 --> 01:06:14,960
Speaker 2: So now there's no emotion in her face, and I

1440
01:06:15,080 --> 01:06:17,880
Speaker 2: hated myself for it. The day of the first post,

1441
01:06:17,960 --> 01:06:21,040
Speaker 2: we had just went out to day Sanna and she

1442
01:06:21,280 --> 01:06:24,200
Speaker 2: was showing me, uh, and she was showing me very

1443
01:06:24,280 --> 01:06:26,680
Speaker 2: excited about how a friend invited us to watch his

1444
01:06:26,800 --> 01:06:29,840
Speaker 2: student's final exam. He teaches acting and was trying to

1445
01:06:29,880 --> 01:06:33,560
Speaker 2: blend projected images, play with shadows and little to know items.

1446
01:06:33,880 --> 01:06:36,440
Speaker 2: It was amazing and I'm not exactly into that. I

1447
01:06:36,560 --> 01:06:38,640
Speaker 2: want to see her smile again, but she's having some

1448
01:06:38,760 --> 01:06:41,520
Speaker 2: health issues, so maybe I'm overthinking it and she needs

1449
01:06:41,640 --> 01:06:44,040
Speaker 2: another appointment with a doctor rather than me being a

1450
01:06:44,160 --> 01:06:48,200
Speaker 2: mess all over her. I'm starting therapy next Friday. That's

1451
01:06:48,240 --> 01:06:49,880
Speaker 2: the only thing that got her to smile for a

1452
01:06:49,960 --> 01:06:50,520
Speaker 2: few seconds.

1453
01:06:51,160 --> 01:06:51,400
Speaker 3: I have.

1454
01:06:52,880 --> 01:06:57,120
Speaker 2: Thank goodness, so so grateful to hear that I have

1455
01:06:57,320 --> 01:07:00,320
Speaker 2: a bad history with psychiatrists. When I was twelveeyears old,

1456
01:07:00,400 --> 01:07:02,640
Speaker 2: one of my two sisters got with a guy that

1457
01:07:02,760 --> 01:07:05,040
Speaker 2: seemed off to me and would make weird comments about

1458
01:07:05,040 --> 01:07:07,560
Speaker 2: everything in general, so I wasn't really interested in spending

1459
01:07:07,640 --> 01:07:08,160
Speaker 2: time with them.

1460
01:07:08,320 --> 01:07:09,920
Speaker 3: Wait, I'm sorry I got with a guy who was

1461
01:07:09,960 --> 01:07:13,240
Speaker 3: a psychiatry. Not sure. Well anyway, Op, I think going

1462
01:07:13,320 --> 01:07:17,400
Speaker 3: to therapy great move. And I think you know, like Anna,

1463
01:07:17,400 --> 01:07:19,880
Speaker 3: I probably isn't that excited to hear that you're being

1464
01:07:20,080 --> 01:07:23,120
Speaker 3: sued by your ex. Well, you guys are trying to

1465
01:07:24,120 --> 01:07:27,680
Speaker 3: have a you know, relationship again, so give her some

1466
01:07:27,880 --> 01:07:29,880
Speaker 3: grace on that. And it seems like you guys are

1467
01:07:29,880 --> 01:07:33,240
Speaker 3: doing a great job with your kids, so give yourself

1468
01:07:33,280 --> 01:07:34,160
Speaker 3: some credit for the hat.

1469
01:07:34,880 --> 01:07:38,400
Speaker 2: I think, just completely forget about Elsa.

1470
01:07:38,920 --> 01:07:41,840
Speaker 3: Yes, I mean it seems like her suit has literally

1471
01:07:42,120 --> 01:07:43,400
Speaker 3: is no grounds.

1472
01:07:44,120 --> 01:07:45,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, no bones on that suit.

1473
01:07:45,880 --> 01:07:48,360
Speaker 5: Give her a cold shoulder. The cold never bothered anyway.

1474
01:07:48,600 --> 01:07:49,040
Speaker 5: It's fine.

1475
01:07:49,200 --> 01:07:50,960
Speaker 3: There you go, and there you go.

1476
01:07:51,400 --> 01:07:53,920
Speaker 2: There it is, folks, all right, let's finish his story.

1477
01:07:54,040 --> 01:07:54,240
Speaker 1: Woo.

1478
01:07:54,600 --> 01:07:56,120
Speaker 2: When I was twelve years old, one of my two

1479
01:07:56,200 --> 01:07:58,560
Speaker 2: sisters got with a guy that seemed off to me

1480
01:07:58,680 --> 01:08:01,320
Speaker 2: and would make weird comments about everything in general, so

1481
01:08:01,400 --> 01:08:04,200
Speaker 2: I wasn't really interested in spending time with them. She

1482
01:08:04,360 --> 01:08:06,800
Speaker 2: was frustrated because we used to be very close, and

1483
01:08:06,960 --> 01:08:09,400
Speaker 2: had no other wonderful idea but to push my parents

1484
01:08:09,440 --> 01:08:11,560
Speaker 2: to make me meet with the guy's cousin, who was

1485
01:08:11,600 --> 01:08:15,200
Speaker 2: a psychiatrist, and told me to start taking medication as

1486
01:08:15,280 --> 01:08:18,240
Speaker 2: I looked like a troubled team. He was concerned over

1487
01:08:18,360 --> 01:08:20,880
Speaker 2: how I was not okay because there was no real

1488
01:08:20,960 --> 01:08:24,040
Speaker 2: reason over why I disliked the man and my parents,

1489
01:08:24,080 --> 01:08:26,439
Speaker 2: who loved him at the time started forcing me to

1490
01:08:26,520 --> 01:08:30,799
Speaker 2: take some pills to the point of being odd because

1491
01:08:30,920 --> 01:08:33,599
Speaker 2: there was no real changes for them.

1492
01:08:33,720 --> 01:08:37,160
Speaker 3: And that's when you like go to the police and

1493
01:08:37,280 --> 01:08:41,799
Speaker 3: get them arrested for child endangerment. That's insane.

1494
01:08:42,120 --> 01:08:43,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know what.

1495
01:08:44,720 --> 01:08:49,360
Speaker 3: How would they even if those are prescription? How are

1496
01:08:49,400 --> 01:08:51,519
Speaker 3: they doing that because that's so allegal.

1497
01:08:51,640 --> 01:08:51,960
Speaker 1: I don't know.

1498
01:08:52,360 --> 01:08:56,360
Speaker 3: You can't just get prescribed pills because you don't like

1499
01:08:56,439 --> 01:08:59,080
Speaker 3: a guy. They're like, oh, he doesn't like that guy,

1500
01:08:59,120 --> 01:08:59,920
Speaker 3: but that guy's great.

1501
01:09:00,040 --> 01:09:02,280
Speaker 2: Eight And they went to a psychiatrist.

1502
01:09:02,400 --> 01:09:06,320
Speaker 1: And if we like into trouble was take these.

1503
01:09:06,560 --> 01:09:10,639
Speaker 3: If Dakota went to that psychiatrist, you'd be prescribed pills

1504
01:09:10,680 --> 01:09:11,160
Speaker 3: left and right.

1505
01:09:11,479 --> 01:09:15,240
Speaker 2: Because all the people you just like, yeah, like Orlando Bloom.

1506
01:09:16,080 --> 01:09:19,080
Speaker 1: They'd be like, why don't you like Orlando Blue? And

1507
01:09:19,120 --> 01:09:21,080
Speaker 1: he'd be like, I hate him, and they'd be like,

1508
01:09:21,200 --> 01:09:22,479
Speaker 1: but he seems like it's such a.

1509
01:09:22,479 --> 01:09:25,720
Speaker 2: Great took it from me, He took He took the

1510
01:09:25,840 --> 01:09:29,799
Speaker 2: easiest career in Hollywood away from me. I just simply

1511
01:09:29,920 --> 01:09:31,599
Speaker 2: wasn't born Orlando Blue.

1512
01:09:31,840 --> 01:09:34,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, if you were born Orlando Broom, this would be

1513
01:09:34,080 --> 01:09:34,599
Speaker 3: such a different.

1514
01:09:34,800 --> 01:09:36,679
Speaker 2: If I was born Orlando Blue, I'd love that guy.

1515
01:09:37,640 --> 01:09:43,160
Speaker 2: What a great what a callback that was so okay.

1516
01:09:43,800 --> 01:09:46,599
Speaker 2: You know, my sister didn't end the relationship and they're

1517
01:09:46,640 --> 01:09:50,760
Speaker 2: not so happily married till now. So me going to

1518
01:09:50,840 --> 01:09:53,240
Speaker 2: therapy is a big step of seeking help. Though I

1519
01:09:53,320 --> 01:09:55,760
Speaker 2: don't understand why she's out to get me if she's

1520
01:09:55,760 --> 01:09:58,679
Speaker 2: supposed to be so happy and successful.

1521
01:09:58,640 --> 01:10:01,320
Speaker 1: And that is the and it seems a little crazy

1522
01:10:01,439 --> 01:10:02,160
Speaker 1: of that story.

1523
01:10:02,240 --> 01:10:02,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know.

1524
01:10:03,080 --> 01:10:05,559
Speaker 3: She's like calling you all the time when you guys

1525
01:10:05,600 --> 01:10:06,000
Speaker 3: were dating.

1526
01:10:06,720 --> 01:10:09,400
Speaker 1: She's got a little a little strange.

1527
01:10:09,640 --> 01:10:13,719
Speaker 2: Don't concern yourself with Elsa or I'll get you back

1528
01:10:14,240 --> 01:10:19,160
Speaker 2: with that psychiatrist that your sister's boyfriends. Please do, cousin,

1529
01:10:20,840 --> 01:10:22,000
Speaker 2: I'll get you back on there.