WEBVTT - My Past vs. My Future

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome to Can'tfley Reckless, the production of iHeart Radio and

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<v Speaker 1>the Black Effects, And just.

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<v Speaker 2>Like that, we're back on the air. Welcome back to you.

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<v Speaker 2>Had another carefully reckless episode with your girl, just hilarious.

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<v Speaker 1>What I'll be doing, I'll be fixing mess and we

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<v Speaker 1>got my girl Taylor in here today. Say hey to Taylor,

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<v Speaker 1>y'are say, let's say hey to the babyols. All right,

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<v Speaker 1>so listen, I'm gonna just jump right in and read

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<v Speaker 1>the story.

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<v Speaker 2>This one is really really good.

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<v Speaker 1>Obviously it's not a voice note, and she did say

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<v Speaker 1>something about it not being a voice not too She

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<v Speaker 1>was like, my man listens to carefully Reckless on iHeart

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<v Speaker 1>Andie listens to you fix people mess on Breakfast Club.

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<v Speaker 1>So she didn't want to leave me a voice note.

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<v Speaker 1>So here it goes, Hey, Jass, I need you bad child.

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<v Speaker 1>So one of my children, one of my childhood friends,

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<v Speaker 1>was my very first boyfriend in life.

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<v Speaker 2>That's cute.

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<v Speaker 1>He was the big time drug dealer in our city.

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<v Speaker 1>We're from Saint Louis. Oh lord, I've loved him from

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<v Speaker 1>a child to an adult. We've been together on and

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<v Speaker 1>off for about fifteen years. By the grace of God.

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<v Speaker 1>I never got pregnant by him, but we always talked

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<v Speaker 1>about having kids together and him making me a wife,

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<v Speaker 1>not about a.

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<v Speaker 2>Grace of God. He yo.

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<v Speaker 1>During the time of our relationship, he was back and

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<v Speaker 1>forth to prison, involved in shootouts, all the things that

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<v Speaker 1>would make a girl want out, And all the years

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<v Speaker 1>we were together, I had to deal with that and

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<v Speaker 1>more house raised and long sleepless nights.

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<v Speaker 2>House raised.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh yeah, fuck all less when somebody raised. Okay, so Taylor,

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<v Speaker 1>when somebody raised your house, they're looking for a.

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<v Speaker 2>Fucking drug dealer. House raise. Oh no, no, no, no,

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<v Speaker 2>no house raise, no, no, no no.

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<v Speaker 1>He never cheated as far as I know, but being

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<v Speaker 1>the girlfriend of a drug dealer became very old and

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<v Speaker 1>tired for me as I got older. He never cheated

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<v Speaker 1>as far as I know, but being the girlfriend of

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<v Speaker 1>a drug dealer became very old and tired for me

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<v Speaker 1>as I got older.

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<v Speaker 2>So I gave him an ultimatum, me or that life.

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<v Speaker 2>He just couldn't let it go.

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<v Speaker 1>Right then, he said he had a goal and as

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<v Speaker 1>soon as he hits it, he's gonna come marry me

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<v Speaker 1>and we can start building our life together. Now this

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<v Speaker 1>was about three years ago. The last time we spoke

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<v Speaker 1>on this. He went to jail for a year after

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<v Speaker 1>that and been home for about two years.

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<v Speaker 2>Now.

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<v Speaker 1>During that year, I met a gentleman and he was

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<v Speaker 1>literally everything I was missing. He was everything I wanted

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<v Speaker 1>in my on again off again x We were so

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<v Speaker 1>compatible in the early months of us dating Jess. This

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<v Speaker 1>man showed me real love and a passionate way. I

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<v Speaker 1>swear he is my person. A few months ago, my

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<v Speaker 1>ex pops up out of nowhere at my job now

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<v Speaker 1>I work at the bank.

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<v Speaker 2>I thought he was coming to rob it. What the

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<v Speaker 2>fuck the fuck? Hello, Well, just kidding, bitch, caty fucking.

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<v Speaker 1>Just kidding like this the fuck He was telling me

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<v Speaker 1>he needed to take me out and that he needed

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<v Speaker 1>to talk and update me on his life. Job came

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<v Speaker 1>to her job because yeah job. Maybe she didn't say that, yes,

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<v Speaker 1>she said. I did get to meet with him, and

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<v Speaker 1>he briefly ran down all of his life changes to me.

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<v Speaker 1>He joined the church, he is actually Oh my good,

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<v Speaker 1>he's actually owner of a business. He started his own

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<v Speaker 1>tech company and he has a trucking company.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay goes. He turned legit. This was the one that

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<v Speaker 2>was in jail. We came out but so was she

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<v Speaker 2>just not in contact with him? Probably not because she

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<v Speaker 2>had already met another dude. This is the crazy thing.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, yeah, so he had told her about you know

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<v Speaker 1>updated let me say, didn't.

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<v Speaker 2>Say how long she was in contact with him though,

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<v Speaker 2>because he did a lot. He did a lot and

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<v Speaker 2>that look. Yeah, well he was on for two years

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<v Speaker 2>and this was a few months ago he came.

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<v Speaker 1>He probably was trying to get a ship together before

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<v Speaker 1>he came back, because she had gave him that last

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<v Speaker 1>ultimatum like look me or this, and he was like, yo,

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<v Speaker 1>I can't lead a game yet.

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<v Speaker 2>I got a goal. I'm trying to earn a certain amount.

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<v Speaker 2>You know how drug Deale's talk.

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<v Speaker 1>I know it so well because I was dealing with

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<v Speaker 1>a lot of them back in my day, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>so period he came home. Now he's reformed and shit

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<v Speaker 1>and he's basically like ghosts James Patrick. He was trying

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<v Speaker 1>to be legit, trying to be legit and everything. And

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<v Speaker 1>she said, wow, crazy thing is I felt so good

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<v Speaker 1>talking to him. All the memories flushed.

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<v Speaker 2>I was back in love. Only thing is my current

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<v Speaker 2>guy proposed to me.

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<v Speaker 1>No, proposed to me weeks weeks before that girl, and

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<v Speaker 1>I said, yes, crazy, I.

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<v Speaker 2>Mean break it all. They didn't get married yet, and

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<v Speaker 2>so she basically asking what should I do?

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<v Speaker 1>Jess, I find myself in bed laying next to my

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<v Speaker 1>fiance thinking about my ex because he is everything I

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<v Speaker 1>wanted this life with. However, I went on ahead and

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<v Speaker 1>got engaged, not expect acting him to ever change or

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<v Speaker 1>grow up, and he did well.

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<v Speaker 3>First hurting her to see the receipts. Yeah, what the

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<v Speaker 3>drug dealers talking about? Just what he said, what he's saying.

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<v Speaker 2>And then I just don't jump out there and just

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<v Speaker 2>like go, you know, just because he came to you.

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<v Speaker 2>And although he been out for two years, so he

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<v Speaker 2>probably did take.

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<v Speaker 1>All this time to get like, you know, but he's

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<v Speaker 1>not doing the things he used to do, got businesses

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<v Speaker 1>that company.

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<v Speaker 2>I mean, take time is good. But I'm saying like.

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<v Speaker 3>The only reason why I'm like hesitating with that is

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<v Speaker 3>just because sometimes I feel like things will happen how it's.

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<v Speaker 2>Supposed to happen, yeah, and and everything that glitters is

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<v Speaker 2>not gold.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>But also just like if you're supposed to be together, y'all,

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<v Speaker 2>y'all would have been.

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<v Speaker 3>Y'all would have been together, right, Yeah, like, and I

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<v Speaker 3>guess you tried to wait and all.

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<v Speaker 2>That, but to go back and then on and off

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<v Speaker 2>for fifteen years. Yeah, because Jesus you let him. You

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<v Speaker 2>gave him.

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<v Speaker 1>Fifteen years of your life and he gave fifteen years

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<v Speaker 1>of his life to the streets. That's a long time

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<v Speaker 1>before you grow up. And shit, now, other guys take

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<v Speaker 1>longer to grow up. But damn, nigga, now supposed to

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<v Speaker 1>drop everything I'm doing because you are home now and

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<v Speaker 1>you decided to get it right in your life. But

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<v Speaker 1>that's what tells me when he told her that when

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<v Speaker 1>she gave him the ultimatum the first time, and she

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<v Speaker 1>was like, yo, me or this, and he was like, no,

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<v Speaker 1>not right now. I can't choose you right now because

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<v Speaker 1>I have a goal to get to. I'm not gonna

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<v Speaker 1>be in this shit forever. But I am like, I'm good,

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<v Speaker 1>Like I got a goal and I'm gonna be out

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<v Speaker 1>of this shit. I just got to do some things

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<v Speaker 1>right now. When I wonder if she agreed then, like

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<v Speaker 1>did she say did she just leave and say all right,

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<v Speaker 1>since you're not choosing me whatever, have a nice life whatever,

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<v Speaker 1>or did she agree in that moment all right, I'll

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<v Speaker 1>wait for you, because if so, that's why.

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<v Speaker 2>The fuck he came back and just expected for her

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<v Speaker 2>to be right there, you know what I mean?

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<v Speaker 1>Hold up, Hold up, I know this shit getting good,

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<v Speaker 1>but listen to just a couple seconds of a commercial.

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<v Speaker 1>If you love me, you'll listen now. Like you said,

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<v Speaker 1>I wonder if she was keeping in touch with him

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<v Speaker 1>that whole year he was in jail, or how long

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<v Speaker 1>was he out before you knew he was out? And

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<v Speaker 1>how did y'all have a conversation? How long before the

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<v Speaker 1>bank when he shopped, when he popped up at your job?

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<v Speaker 1>Did you see him it was the last time you've

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<v Speaker 1>seen him before you saw him in the bank. Was

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<v Speaker 1>the time you know you gave him that ultimatum? Was

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<v Speaker 1>that three years prior? Or like?

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<v Speaker 2>What the fuck was that? I don't know.

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<v Speaker 1>I think, honestly, because she didn't give us that part

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<v Speaker 1>of it. I think she honestly didn't talk to him

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<v Speaker 1>purposely because she was trying to get past them, and.

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<v Speaker 2>That's how she ended up meeting her person. Yeah, I

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<v Speaker 2>know that's the thing, and that motherfucker probably looked good too, But.

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<v Speaker 3>I guess it's one of those things too, like takeaway,

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<v Speaker 3>like all y'all got butterflies.

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<v Speaker 2>Now, yeah you real? I don't know. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>I don't know. And then what's with this new fiancee?

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<v Speaker 2>Is he everything that you wanted? Yes? She did listening

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<v Speaker 2>for him. Listen, I'm I'm gonna reread it. She said.

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<v Speaker 1>During that year that he was in jail, I met

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<v Speaker 1>a gentleman and he was literally everything I was missing.

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<v Speaker 1>He was everything I wanted and my on again off

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<v Speaker 1>again x We were so compatible in the early months

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<v Speaker 1>of us dating. Just this man showed me real love.

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<v Speaker 1>So then I swear he is my person. So then

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<v Speaker 1>I don't think and that nigga proposed he knew what

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<v Speaker 1>he had.

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<v Speaker 2>Exactly, so I don't think like you're about to give

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<v Speaker 2>your whole thing to do that, all this moving on

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<v Speaker 2>that you did, like all this healing.

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<v Speaker 1>But when she ever healed, if she sat down with

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<v Speaker 1>with ex convict one time and then all came back

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<v Speaker 1>and lay laying in bed next to your.

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<v Speaker 2>Fiance, that was her person. The X kind was ever her.

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<v Speaker 1>Well. In the beginning, she says, to one of my

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<v Speaker 1>childhood friends was my very first boyfriend in life. It

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<v Speaker 1>was a big He was a big time drug dealer

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<v Speaker 1>in our city. So yeah, I've loved him from a

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<v Speaker 1>child to an adult. We've been together on and off

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<v Speaker 1>for fifteen years. No, and then that, by the grace

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<v Speaker 1>of God, I never got pregnant by him. That tells

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<v Speaker 1>you something that's screaming, like, I've always had one leg

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<v Speaker 1>and one leg out.

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<v Speaker 3>I don't think she should do it, Yeah, because she

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<v Speaker 3>don't want to follow her. I think you're still holding

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<v Speaker 3>on to maybe a cute little fantasy, but.

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<v Speaker 1>You know, and then you feel a bit of like

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<v Speaker 1>obligation because your childhood friends, you know, Yeah, you've known

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<v Speaker 1>him since he was younger.

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<v Speaker 2>Y'all kind of grew up together. He's known you.

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<v Speaker 1>He knows what to say to get back in your

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<v Speaker 1>good graces. That about you probably didn't change. That's how

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<v Speaker 1>all the butterflies started rushing back, and all the feelings

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<v Speaker 1>started swaying in, you know, coming in and colliding on

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<v Speaker 1>you and shit, and now you feel like you're in

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<v Speaker 1>love with your ex all over again. Laying next to

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<v Speaker 1>your person that night, thinking about this nigga. I don't

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<v Speaker 1>even think it's so much she thinking about this nigga.

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<v Speaker 1>I think she's thinking about what she's going to do,

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<v Speaker 1>and it's stressing her to funk out what she wants

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<v Speaker 1>to do.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, and then yeah, so that's a hard decision. I

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<v Speaker 2>don't think she should drop everything and then what about

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<v Speaker 2>this scenario? Right?

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<v Speaker 1>So look, this is also a thing as well, right,

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<v Speaker 1>because I've seen it time and time again growing up

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<v Speaker 1>in Baltimore City, being good friends with drug dealers, not

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<v Speaker 1>even drug dealers that I used to deal with, but

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<v Speaker 1>being good friends with drug dealers. My nigga, they'll get

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<v Speaker 1>into beefs and shit. She said, shootouts and all that

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<v Speaker 1>type of shit.

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<v Speaker 2>It's the thing.

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<v Speaker 1>They'll get into beefs and ship will I was. I

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<v Speaker 1>was building up to that tailor.

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<v Speaker 2>Damn shit, bitch. I was ready to set it up perfectly.

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<v Speaker 2>I was taking too long.

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<v Speaker 1>He said, Yeah, what if the pants come back down?

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<v Speaker 1>Shit and the listeners knew where I was going?

0:10:54.640 --> 0:10:58.040
<v Speaker 2>Oh anyway, so yea, I must still want to say.

0:10:58.040 --> 0:11:00.959
<v Speaker 2>I'm gonna still just say it. So, girl, I've seen

0:11:01.160 --> 0:11:04.439
<v Speaker 2>in my life where the past comes back to watch

0:11:07.840 --> 0:11:08.360
<v Speaker 2>and done.

0:11:09.840 --> 0:11:13.760
<v Speaker 1>If he's gotten the shootouts, obviously he's doing that's been

0:11:13.840 --> 0:11:16.440
<v Speaker 1>doing the shooting and ship because he ain't get killed

0:11:16.559 --> 0:11:16.840
<v Speaker 1>or shot.

0:11:16.920 --> 0:11:18.880
<v Speaker 2>She didn't say he got shot, you know, maybe got

0:11:18.960 --> 0:11:19.840
<v Speaker 2>he's been shot at.

0:11:20.000 --> 0:11:23.280
<v Speaker 1>What if somebody waited until later and then it's y'all

0:11:23.320 --> 0:11:25.400
<v Speaker 1>out together and this nigga get shot up and killed

0:11:25.480 --> 0:11:28.160
<v Speaker 1>or what if you get killed being with him? You

0:11:28.240 --> 0:11:29.840
<v Speaker 1>know you said he was a big time drug dealer

0:11:29.880 --> 0:11:32.280
<v Speaker 1>in Saint Louis. I mean, I'm sorry, Missouri, but goddamn,

0:11:32.800 --> 0:11:36.120
<v Speaker 1>we know certain cities and drugs.

0:11:36.400 --> 0:11:39.000
<v Speaker 2>That ship is different. It gets deep. And then just

0:11:39.120 --> 0:11:44.760
<v Speaker 2>watched the show Power, I'm sorry for I mean for

0:11:44.840 --> 0:11:49.480
<v Speaker 2>what like what for reference? Like absolutely or watch the

0:11:49.600 --> 0:11:56.680
<v Speaker 2>wire fuck Power? Watch the Yeah what mm hmm? Even

0:11:56.760 --> 0:12:00.400
<v Speaker 2>snow Fall, Yeah, like I mean, I'm.

0:12:00.240 --> 0:12:05.120
<v Speaker 1>Not I'm just saying, no, that's more realistic. Snowfall is

0:12:05.200 --> 0:12:06.760
<v Speaker 1>way more realistic than Power.

0:12:06.840 --> 0:12:09.440
<v Speaker 2>I ain't girl. The ghosts and Tommy should have been

0:12:09.480 --> 0:12:10.960
<v Speaker 2>died the first episode.

0:12:10.840 --> 0:12:13.959
<v Speaker 3>The way, but even think about like he's saying he

0:12:14.080 --> 0:12:17.600
<v Speaker 3>got inn tech company and not to like say yeah,

0:12:18.120 --> 0:12:19.120
<v Speaker 3>but I just like his.

0:12:19.840 --> 0:12:22.080
<v Speaker 2>He could his roots is in the streets. He could

0:12:22.120 --> 0:12:23.320
<v Speaker 2>still be in the street.

0:12:24.080 --> 0:12:26.520
<v Speaker 1>That it could be unto wash his money, like he's

0:12:26.559 --> 0:12:28.880
<v Speaker 1>just trying to wash his money with legit businesses and shade.

0:12:29.000 --> 0:12:31.280
<v Speaker 1>You know, he could still have now he may not

0:12:31.400 --> 0:12:33.640
<v Speaker 1>be the one that's on the streets in the streets

0:12:33.920 --> 0:12:36.560
<v Speaker 1>distributing anymore, but he could be the plug. He could

0:12:36.600 --> 0:12:38.360
<v Speaker 1>be he still got his hands in it some type

0:12:38.360 --> 0:12:40.400
<v Speaker 1>of way. And I'm not saying, we're not saying he does,

0:12:40.520 --> 0:12:42.360
<v Speaker 1>but that could still be the case. Like you said,

0:12:42.440 --> 0:12:45.280
<v Speaker 1>so like say, let's say it. So see your receipts.

0:12:45.720 --> 0:12:46.400
<v Speaker 2>You know what I'm saying.

0:12:46.559 --> 0:12:49.480
<v Speaker 1>Don't just jump out the fucking window or not not

0:12:49.720 --> 0:12:53.400
<v Speaker 1>even delve. Don't even dive into that, you know, like

0:12:53.520 --> 0:12:56.800
<v Speaker 1>you said, just just know, just steer clear of that life.

0:12:56.920 --> 0:12:59.800
<v Speaker 1>That's that's what you you saying. You made a very

0:13:00.760 --> 0:13:03.080
<v Speaker 1>and your passes that you read to me, like during

0:13:03.120 --> 0:13:04.959
<v Speaker 1>the time of our relationship, he was back and forth

0:13:05.000 --> 0:13:07.000
<v Speaker 1>to prison, involved in shootouts, all the things that would

0:13:07.000 --> 0:13:07.800
<v Speaker 1>make a girl want out.

0:13:08.040 --> 0:13:08.880
<v Speaker 2>You've been wanted out.

0:13:08.960 --> 0:13:11.360
<v Speaker 1>You just felt some type of devotion to him because

0:13:11.400 --> 0:13:15.280
<v Speaker 1>he's also your childhood friend. You said, in all the

0:13:15.360 --> 0:13:16.959
<v Speaker 1>years we were together, I had to deal with that

0:13:17.200 --> 0:13:19.719
<v Speaker 1>and more house raised, long sleepless nights. And you said

0:13:19.760 --> 0:13:21.840
<v Speaker 1>he never cheated as far as you know, which is fine,

0:13:21.880 --> 0:13:23.520
<v Speaker 1>But that's not even the tip of that shit.

0:13:23.679 --> 0:13:25.720
<v Speaker 2>That that's everything that's watching your back.

0:13:25.800 --> 0:13:28.120
<v Speaker 1>That's you being even affiliated with a nigga who got

0:13:28.200 --> 0:13:30.800
<v Speaker 1>a target on him every day. You know what I'm saying,

0:13:31.400 --> 0:13:33.439
<v Speaker 1>You don't want to marry nobody, go throw your life

0:13:33.440 --> 0:13:35.600
<v Speaker 1>away for somebody that gotta still watch his back because

0:13:35.600 --> 0:13:39.040
<v Speaker 1>he's done so much dirt and his in his earlier life.

0:13:39.160 --> 0:13:42.920
<v Speaker 1>You know, I mean earlier in his life. You know,

0:13:43.080 --> 0:13:45.560
<v Speaker 1>you just that shit is dangerous. You know, you don't

0:13:45.600 --> 0:13:47.880
<v Speaker 1>want to be one of those girls. You really really don't,

0:13:47.960 --> 0:13:49.600
<v Speaker 1>you know, And you seem like you got a really

0:13:49.640 --> 0:13:52.320
<v Speaker 1>really good thing going and I would I would honestly

0:13:52.440 --> 0:13:56.600
<v Speaker 1>hate what if yeah to the what if yeah from

0:13:56.880 --> 0:13:58.880
<v Speaker 1>a long time ago. Yo. The way you speak about

0:13:58.920 --> 0:14:03.960
<v Speaker 1>your fiance is amazing. It's like immagular, Like you can't

0:14:03.960 --> 0:14:06.240
<v Speaker 1>even see yourself without this man, you know, And you

0:14:06.440 --> 0:14:09.480
<v Speaker 1>met him at a perfect time, right after you get

0:14:09.520 --> 0:14:11.400
<v Speaker 1>a guy ultimatum and you kind of cut it off

0:14:11.440 --> 0:14:12.960
<v Speaker 1>with him. He went to jail, so he couldn't even

0:14:13.000 --> 0:14:16.000
<v Speaker 1>he wasn't even out to disrupt your relationship or whatever.

0:14:16.320 --> 0:14:17.959
<v Speaker 2>You met him at a great time. You leave that

0:14:18.080 --> 0:14:19.400
<v Speaker 2>chapter where the fuck it was at.

0:14:19.720 --> 0:14:21.560
<v Speaker 1>Now we got a commercial and if you click off

0:14:21.640 --> 0:14:24.200
<v Speaker 1>this podcast, I swear I'm gonna beat your ass. Listen,

0:14:25.880 --> 0:14:27.840
<v Speaker 1>you have to meet up with this nigga again, and

0:14:27.920 --> 0:14:30.000
<v Speaker 1>you got to tell him because one thing about drug

0:14:30.080 --> 0:14:32.400
<v Speaker 1>dealers or ex drug dealers or whatever they used to

0:14:32.400 --> 0:14:34.760
<v Speaker 1>getting what they want, and he gonna start that hagging out.

0:14:35.280 --> 0:14:37.200
<v Speaker 2>You know what I'm saying, Like he's not going to

0:14:37.240 --> 0:14:39.720
<v Speaker 2>stop trying to prove to you that he is ready

0:14:39.960 --> 0:14:41.840
<v Speaker 2>to be with you now, you know what I'm saying.

0:14:43.280 --> 0:14:48.000
<v Speaker 1>Even if he did turn you know, turn great or

0:14:48.240 --> 0:14:50.880
<v Speaker 1>do a whole three sixty with his life, you feel me,

0:14:51.760 --> 0:14:55.000
<v Speaker 1>it's still just I think things happened, like Taylor was saying,

0:14:55.040 --> 0:14:56.120
<v Speaker 1>things happened for a reason.

0:14:56.320 --> 0:14:58.200
<v Speaker 2>You know, it was a reason why you were supposed

0:14:58.200 --> 0:14:59.520
<v Speaker 2>to meet your new guy.

0:15:00.000 --> 0:15:01.480
<v Speaker 1>You know what I mean. I'm gonna just call you

0:15:01.600 --> 0:15:04.640
<v Speaker 1>you guy Melika, and I'm gonna call you ex Kanaan.

0:15:05.280 --> 0:15:07.400
<v Speaker 1>It was the reason why you met Malika and you

0:15:07.560 --> 0:15:09.560
<v Speaker 1>let Caanan slide up in the bank. You said you

0:15:09.600 --> 0:15:11.600
<v Speaker 1>thought he was about th robbing Man and you're talking

0:15:11.600 --> 0:15:13.120
<v Speaker 1>about loll No, but you was dead, sir.

0:15:13.320 --> 0:15:14.080
<v Speaker 2>You got scared of shit.

0:15:14.160 --> 0:15:16.760
<v Speaker 1>You probably felt like Frankie and set it off. The

0:15:16.920 --> 0:15:19.680
<v Speaker 1>fuck because what's the procedure when the gun is to

0:15:19.840 --> 0:15:23.080
<v Speaker 1>your head exactly. Your ass got scared of shit talking

0:15:23.080 --> 0:15:25.880
<v Speaker 1>about butterflies. Yeah right, you were scared at first, and

0:15:26.000 --> 0:15:26.560
<v Speaker 1>then when.

0:15:26.960 --> 0:15:30.480
<v Speaker 3>Even with that though, yeah, you're coming to my like

0:15:32.040 --> 0:15:36.160
<v Speaker 3>like workplace, just like I don't like that. That seems

0:15:36.320 --> 0:15:37.720
<v Speaker 3>very aggressive.

0:15:37.800 --> 0:15:41.040
<v Speaker 1>It is. It's very possessive too, like she always minds,

0:15:41.040 --> 0:15:44.200
<v Speaker 1>she gonna be mind type shit. And most of the

0:15:44.280 --> 0:15:48.560
<v Speaker 1>time those mindsets don't don't get very far either. It

0:15:48.680 --> 0:15:50.880
<v Speaker 1>results in something bad because if I can't have you,

0:15:51.000 --> 0:15:54.280
<v Speaker 1>nobody will them. It's guys that really really lived by

0:15:54.320 --> 0:15:56.120
<v Speaker 1>that ship for sure, you know what I'm saying, And

0:15:56.200 --> 0:15:59.520
<v Speaker 1>that ship I'll be watching snapped and I d TV

0:15:59.760 --> 0:16:02.000
<v Speaker 1>and all of that ship, that ship be going down, man,

0:16:02.040 --> 0:16:04.440
<v Speaker 1>and women be scared for their fucking lives. These men

0:16:04.600 --> 0:16:09.880
<v Speaker 1>are these these men, especially these obsessive and possessive.

0:16:09.520 --> 0:16:11.920
<v Speaker 2>Men, you know. So's almost like that.

0:16:12.160 --> 0:16:14.440
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, so you dealt with somebody like that almost the

0:16:14.480 --> 0:16:18.280
<v Speaker 1>only almost because he was saying, like, just like, I

0:16:18.320 --> 0:16:21.520
<v Speaker 1>don't care if you're he thought I was like married

0:16:21.600 --> 0:16:24.080
<v Speaker 1>or something like that, and he said he didn't care.

0:16:24.240 --> 0:16:27.360
<v Speaker 2>I don't give you're married like me, and you like

0:16:27.640 --> 0:16:28.640
<v Speaker 2>over over.

0:16:28.600 --> 0:16:31.600
<v Speaker 1>The dog possessive Oh my god, y'all had a fucking dog.

0:16:32.120 --> 0:16:35.000
<v Speaker 1>So I had a child, Yeah, it.

0:16:35.080 --> 0:16:37.560
<v Speaker 2>Was my child, so or he's my child? So okay,

0:16:37.600 --> 0:16:40.320
<v Speaker 2>So who bought the child? I don't know how he

0:16:40.440 --> 0:16:42.960
<v Speaker 2>got the dog, but I'm sorry he gave it to

0:16:43.160 --> 0:16:45.800
<v Speaker 2>me though. Oh okay, So it sounds like a father.

0:16:46.400 --> 0:16:48.360
<v Speaker 2>He sounds like the father. I don't know where he

0:16:48.440 --> 0:16:50.040
<v Speaker 2>got the dog from. So he got the dog for

0:16:50.200 --> 0:16:53.920
<v Speaker 2>you mom out here? Oh okay. So when he got

0:16:54.000 --> 0:16:57.280
<v Speaker 2>the dog, it was like when he dropped you off

0:16:57.320 --> 0:17:01.240
<v Speaker 2>and he was a deadbeat. We weren't even together. Oh okay,

0:17:01.720 --> 0:17:04.080
<v Speaker 2>and so he but were you single around the time?

0:17:04.119 --> 0:17:06.240
<v Speaker 2>Did he know you were single? All right? So that's

0:17:06.240 --> 0:17:07.520
<v Speaker 2>what it was. He just didn't want you to be

0:17:07.640 --> 0:17:11.720
<v Speaker 2>with somebody else. He wanted to sing, but he just

0:17:11.880 --> 0:17:15.439
<v Speaker 2>felt I guess it's always an attachment. Yes, that's how

0:17:15.520 --> 0:17:19.920
<v Speaker 2>it is. It's done because it was nothing. I didn't

0:17:20.000 --> 0:17:23.800
<v Speaker 2>leading him to me. The only type of leader was

0:17:24.000 --> 0:17:26.840
<v Speaker 2>when I went away, you could wash the dog. That's it,

0:17:27.760 --> 0:17:28.000
<v Speaker 2>does it?

0:17:28.160 --> 0:17:28.200
<v Speaker 1>Know?

0:17:28.520 --> 0:17:29.560
<v Speaker 2>Like Roman?

0:17:30.520 --> 0:17:30.680
<v Speaker 1>Yo?

0:17:31.200 --> 0:17:32.560
<v Speaker 2>It was weird, damn.

0:17:32.680 --> 0:17:35.680
<v Speaker 1>But I know when people do get passed together, that

0:17:35.840 --> 0:17:39.400
<v Speaker 1>does put a different expectation on the relationship because people

0:17:39.400 --> 0:17:42.320
<v Speaker 1>will be like, no, this is like our practice child

0:17:43.119 --> 0:17:43.680
<v Speaker 1>kind of sort of.

0:17:44.280 --> 0:17:45.840
<v Speaker 2>I remember I had a goldfish with a nigga who

0:17:45.840 --> 0:17:49.359
<v Speaker 2>thought I was I was like, first of all girl guys.

0:17:50.119 --> 0:17:53.320
<v Speaker 1>The fish was called Samson, Like uh uh, why the fuck?

0:17:53.680 --> 0:17:55.800
<v Speaker 1>And then why would you name my fish deck? So

0:17:56.200 --> 0:17:58.800
<v Speaker 1>I already was turned off anybody. I'm not ever gonnass you.

0:17:59.280 --> 0:18:01.840
<v Speaker 1>Sam thing was the name of the dog anyway.

0:18:01.640 --> 0:18:05.720
<v Speaker 2>So it was named something else. Yes, yeah, I really

0:18:05.720 --> 0:18:09.240
<v Speaker 2>didn't want nothing to do him, like we were broken up.

0:18:09.680 --> 0:18:12.199
<v Speaker 3>Tell why we say friends because him because hedn't really

0:18:12.200 --> 0:18:13.720
<v Speaker 3>didn't do nothing wrong.

0:18:13.840 --> 0:18:17.119
<v Speaker 2>I just he just grew blind what it is, but

0:18:17.520 --> 0:18:21.760
<v Speaker 2>like he was, but so look it was the breakup bad. No,

0:18:22.080 --> 0:18:23.760
<v Speaker 2>it wasn't breakup.

0:18:24.600 --> 0:18:26.840
<v Speaker 3>It was still I just remember him. When I did

0:18:26.920 --> 0:18:30.000
<v Speaker 3>break up with him and I told him on the phone.

0:18:30.359 --> 0:18:32.159
<v Speaker 3>Him called me back and was like, I know you

0:18:32.200 --> 0:18:34.879
<v Speaker 3>don't think that I'm about to let you go this easily.

0:18:35.040 --> 0:18:37.440
<v Speaker 2>And I was like, yeah, sir, you will.

0:18:38.480 --> 0:18:42.960
<v Speaker 1>You will have to because this is done. But damn, now,

0:18:44.000 --> 0:18:45.600
<v Speaker 1>let me ask you. Because he probably thought it was

0:18:45.600 --> 0:18:48.840
<v Speaker 1>still like some reconcile like they. He probably thought it

0:18:48.960 --> 0:18:50.960
<v Speaker 1>was still able to be reconciled and.

0:18:51.040 --> 0:18:54.720
<v Speaker 2>I told him off because it was a breakup because.

0:18:54.440 --> 0:18:56.920
<v Speaker 3>What happened was, if to be honest, I feel like

0:18:57.320 --> 0:19:00.760
<v Speaker 3>in a sense, he loved by me, and yeah, so

0:19:02.080 --> 0:19:03.960
<v Speaker 3>and it was just nice.

0:19:03.960 --> 0:19:07.680
<v Speaker 1>See I let somebody do that to me too, and

0:19:07.760 --> 0:19:10.080
<v Speaker 1>I knew I really didn't want to take it that far.

0:19:10.840 --> 0:19:13.359
<v Speaker 1>It was just like a rebound situation. I was like,

0:19:14.359 --> 0:19:17.040
<v Speaker 1>I'll be honest, I was loved bomb by my ex

0:19:17.119 --> 0:19:20.760
<v Speaker 1>by Wayne. I got loved bomb by Wayne, you know

0:19:20.800 --> 0:19:23.359
<v Speaker 1>what I mean. And it was what I needed at

0:19:23.400 --> 0:19:26.360
<v Speaker 1>the time because I had never been shown that before.

0:19:26.960 --> 0:19:28.480
<v Speaker 1>You know what I'm saying, like, oh this, Oh it

0:19:28.560 --> 0:19:31.040
<v Speaker 1>is possible for somebody to spoil you. It is possible

0:19:31.160 --> 0:19:34.240
<v Speaker 1>for this type of love. And he's emotionally intelligent and

0:19:34.320 --> 0:19:36.720
<v Speaker 1>he you know. So what Wayne did was just show

0:19:36.800 --> 0:19:38.200
<v Speaker 1>me that there is love.

0:19:38.160 --> 0:19:39.000
<v Speaker 2>Out there like that.

0:19:39.560 --> 0:19:41.680
<v Speaker 1>You know. I was just so used to toxicity, drug

0:19:41.760 --> 0:19:44.119
<v Speaker 1>dealers and niggas who using me and shit like that,

0:19:44.280 --> 0:19:46.200
<v Speaker 1>you know what I'm saying. And then he came along

0:19:46.280 --> 0:19:48.240
<v Speaker 1>showed me that that was different. And then I think

0:19:48.280 --> 0:19:50.880
<v Speaker 1>what me and Wayne didn't do was become friends first,

0:19:51.680 --> 0:19:53.440
<v Speaker 1>because if I would have just became his friends, we

0:19:53.520 --> 0:19:55.159
<v Speaker 1>would have never been together. We would have just been

0:19:55.240 --> 0:19:57.399
<v Speaker 1>friends because Wayne is a really good person.

0:19:57.680 --> 0:20:01.439
<v Speaker 2>You know, I feel too. Yeah, he just loved bomb me.

0:20:01.440 --> 0:20:04.000
<v Speaker 1>And I was like I felt obligated to just oh ship,

0:20:04.040 --> 0:20:06.200
<v Speaker 1>Well I'm gonna just Behamdan you know. But it's like no,

0:20:07.160 --> 0:20:10.320
<v Speaker 1>And then that was you know what, six fucking years

0:20:10.320 --> 0:20:12.440
<v Speaker 1>ago or whatever, you know, So I don't know. I

0:20:12.560 --> 0:20:14.320
<v Speaker 1>didn't know now then.

0:20:14.400 --> 0:20:17.200
<v Speaker 2>What I know now, you know. So yeah, but I

0:20:17.280 --> 0:20:20.200
<v Speaker 2>am grief. I don't regret it though for like four years,

0:20:20.520 --> 0:20:23.320
<v Speaker 2>like yeah, still, what are you going to sir?

0:20:23.520 --> 0:20:29.600
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, that's crazy and c and some trash like New

0:20:29.680 --> 0:20:33.719
<v Speaker 1>York and from New York the office. Let me ask

0:20:33.760 --> 0:20:35.000
<v Speaker 1>you this real quick before we get out of here,

0:20:35.040 --> 0:20:38.600
<v Speaker 1>because we passed. Yes they are the New York Yes,

0:20:38.840 --> 0:20:42.680
<v Speaker 1>But is he like Caribbean, Jamaican or something like that,

0:20:43.560 --> 0:20:47.040
<v Speaker 1>because all of that he gives like Haitian. Uh.

0:20:47.680 --> 0:20:52.960
<v Speaker 2>I think he had roots in some island. But it's

0:20:53.000 --> 0:20:57.280
<v Speaker 2>not like he like okay, okay, I got you. But

0:20:57.680 --> 0:21:00.400
<v Speaker 2>he had a lot of he's a good guy, yeah,

0:21:00.440 --> 0:21:03.919
<v Speaker 2>but he just yeah, yeah, issues, it was a lot

0:21:03.920 --> 0:21:04.399
<v Speaker 2>of issues.

0:21:04.480 --> 0:21:08.119
<v Speaker 1>No, I feel yeah, well, I think we gave this

0:21:08.480 --> 0:21:12.160
<v Speaker 1>this woman a great sense of direction as it pertains

0:21:12.200 --> 0:21:12.719
<v Speaker 1>to advice.

0:21:12.800 --> 0:21:16.399
<v Speaker 2>I think she should. She also was gonna do what

0:21:16.480 --> 0:21:16.879
<v Speaker 2>she want to do.

0:21:17.000 --> 0:21:19.040
<v Speaker 1>Obviously, she's still in love with her ex, or she

0:21:19.160 --> 0:21:21.920
<v Speaker 1>thinks she is. I think her feelings are mixed. I

0:21:22.040 --> 0:21:25.720
<v Speaker 1>think what she's feeling is not an obligation to the guy.

0:21:25.760 --> 0:21:27.560
<v Speaker 1>I think like she don't. I mean, I don't think

0:21:27.600 --> 0:21:29.840
<v Speaker 1>what she's feeling is love all over again. I think

0:21:30.480 --> 0:21:33.240
<v Speaker 1>she's just probably scared and she's frantic.

0:21:33.320 --> 0:21:35.240
<v Speaker 2>She don't know what to do. She's stressed out. She's like,

0:21:36.119 --> 0:21:38.760
<v Speaker 2>should I go back or And I think that's because.

0:21:41.200 --> 0:21:43.680
<v Speaker 1>Like if you wasn't thinking about him, because because she

0:21:43.800 --> 0:21:45.719
<v Speaker 1>wasn't think about him, because she wasn't in contact with him.

0:21:46.720 --> 0:21:50.800
<v Speaker 1>I think she do need to move on though, stayble. Then,

0:21:50.840 --> 0:21:53.560
<v Speaker 1>you don't know what the fuck your fiance done went through, Neva.

0:21:54.160 --> 0:21:55.359
<v Speaker 1>You know what I'm saying. You don't know what he

0:21:55.400 --> 0:21:57.760
<v Speaker 1>went through and how he ended up with you. He

0:21:57.760 --> 0:21:59.159
<v Speaker 1>probably felt like you would have one, just like you

0:21:59.200 --> 0:22:00.960
<v Speaker 1>felt like he was the one. You know, he probably

0:22:01.040 --> 0:22:03.280
<v Speaker 1>had somebody do the ship to him before, and here

0:22:03.280 --> 0:22:04.280
<v Speaker 1>you go about to do it again.

0:22:05.480 --> 0:22:07.480
<v Speaker 2>Jesus girl, So.

0:22:09.680 --> 0:22:11.720
<v Speaker 1>So keep me updated and write me back, baby girl.

0:22:11.800 --> 0:22:14.679
<v Speaker 1>All Right, all right, and just like that, we come

0:22:14.760 --> 0:22:17.840
<v Speaker 1>to the end of yet another Carefully Reckless podcast episode

0:22:17.880 --> 0:22:19.879
<v Speaker 1>with your Girl just hilarious. Y'all say thank you to

0:22:19.920 --> 0:22:22.280
<v Speaker 1>Taylor because Taylor showed up and show out today personal

0:22:22.359 --> 0:22:25.480
<v Speaker 1>experiences and everything, all right, and Tayler say thank y'all.

0:22:26.080 --> 0:22:29.119
<v Speaker 2>Thank thank y'all say thank you though I don't know,

0:22:29.840 --> 0:22:34.439
<v Speaker 2>don't worry about I don't even fucking thank you for listening.

0:22:34.640 --> 0:22:35.800
<v Speaker 2>I don't know, because they.

0:22:37.600 --> 0:22:41.000
<v Speaker 1>And ship they love you too, all right, cool, so

0:22:41.240 --> 0:22:43.240
<v Speaker 1>we love y'all. We'll talk to y'all next week. Peace

0:23:54.240 --> 0:23:57.159
<v Speaker 1>Can't Fully Reckless is a production of iHeart Radio and

0:23:57.280 --> 0:24:00.640
<v Speaker 1>The Black Effect. For more podcasts from iHeart Radio, visit

0:24:00.680 --> 0:24:04.440
<v Speaker 1>the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to

0:24:04.480 --> 0:24:05.240
<v Speaker 1>your favorite shows.