Speaker 1: You're listening to Comedy Central. Hello, friends and stool say
Speaker 1: sloan up next to an episode of the daily show
Speaker 1: podcast hold Up, hosted about me and my friend and
Speaker 1: Daily Show writer Josh Johnson. This podcast is where we
Speaker 1: take our everyday arguments and bring them straight to your ears.
Speaker 1: Take waffles versus pancakes, movies versus TV shows, grills versus shames.
Speaker 1: Here's one of our latest episodes, enjoy. Hey everyone, it's
Speaker 1: Seos Johnson and we want to know what do you
Speaker 1: want to hear us argue about next on the show. Okay,
Speaker 1: it's very easy to let us know. You can drop
Speaker 1: a comment on any of the Daily Shows clips of
Speaker 1: hold Up, whether it's Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, YouTube or Twitter.
Speaker 1: You can also hit us up with the hashtag hold
Speaker 1: up and honestly, if we have an opinion about it,
Speaker 1: we'll do an episode about it. We both love to talk,
Speaker 1: we love to argue, and we love you so without
Speaker 1: anything else, let's let's get into the show. Hey, everybody,
Speaker 1: welcome to Hold Up. It's the show that's a lot
Speaker 1: about nothing. It's a big arguments about small things. I
Speaker 1: am one of your co host My name is Josh Johnson.
Speaker 1: I'm a writer for the Daily Show, and I am
Speaker 1: joined by don't says long, Hey, you could also make
Speaker 1: a noise and you say no, it's it's fine, it's fine.
Speaker 1: I didn't even say anything this time. I wasn't even
Speaker 1: why you can't be like it's Josh, like you could
Speaker 1: do no, no, I'm with you, but instead you want
Speaker 1: to hate on my I wasn't hating. I didn't even
Speaker 1: say anything my face. I was looking down. I felt
Speaker 1: it through computer daughter. Okay, I mean, if you say so,
Speaker 1: all right, But I really wasn't even thinking about this stuff.
Speaker 1: I believe I I want to tell the people m
Speaker 1: hmm to day's topic is uh, it's something that I
Speaker 1: even know would be contentious. You know, we talked about
Speaker 1: small things. This is so small that I didn't I
Speaker 1: never even thought would come up on the show. One
Speaker 1: of our listeners shout out to Misty on the YouTube's
Speaker 1: brought it to us, and um, we just didn't. You
Speaker 1: don't know till you know, you know, until you feel
Speaker 1: it coming on. It's one of those things we're like, oh,
Speaker 1: you know what, I do have a preference on this
Speaker 1: and that should be discussed. Today's topic is um French
Speaker 1: fries versus on your reins. Well, I think we should
Speaker 1: do is give the people one a moment to decide
Speaker 1: where they stand on this, and to a moment to
Speaker 1: decide where they think we are going to stand. Play
Speaker 1: the music and we're back. Okay, Yes, what did you decide?
Speaker 1: What did I decide? Where do you think? Where did
Speaker 1: you land on this? Joshua? I am French fries, I'm
Speaker 1: on your rings. I'm onion rings. I wrong again? Wow? Wrong?
Speaker 1: Wrong and wrong again. You said it because I didn't
Speaker 1: say it about you, because usually I'm the one telling you. Hey.
Speaker 1: But look, I can admit sometimes I'm not right, but
Speaker 1: I can easily admit when you're wrong. That comes to
Speaker 1: me quickly. Any old, any old person, okay, any any
Speaker 1: anyone that walks in nature doesn't anyone who takes breath,
Speaker 1: can't cut up a potato. Mhm, put it in hot grace.
Speaker 1: The onion ring you have to onon rings aren't offered everywhere.
Speaker 1: Onion rings. There's different levels right to the onion rings.
Speaker 1: Some of them are freshly made, some of them prepackaged.
Speaker 1: And also I'm just gonna throw in there's something that's
Speaker 1: onion ring adjacent that I think I can throw in here,
Speaker 1: and I think people are really going to get on
Speaker 1: board with. And that is the blooming onion, awesome blossom.
Speaker 1: You can throw that in there. If tomato soup can
Speaker 1: be fucking catchup, If tomato soup can be catch up,
Speaker 1: and so. Onion rings were truly a red herring. Under
Speaker 1: rings were out here just standing in the way before
Speaker 1: you could be like blow blooming onion. No, on yourrings
Speaker 1: were not a red herring. There were a blue marline.
Speaker 1: So you're telling me that you would rather in your
Speaker 1: life hot battered grease over onions then a delicious, freshly cut,
Speaker 1: crinkled or curly potato, because you're also giving up curly cues,
Speaker 1: all right, giving up getting giving up all types of fries,
Speaker 1: because when we say fridge fries, I'm not talking about
Speaker 1: just one type of bagged, type of frozen type of fry.
Speaker 1: All right, you're giving up the home fries style, your
Speaker 1: hash found their mashed potatoes, make a making a senseion,
Speaker 1: you're giving up the waffle fry. Fine, just keep saying
Speaker 1: wild things. Listen, this is what you don't know about me.
Speaker 1: I'm not really a fan of the potato to start with.
Speaker 1: There's sometimes when you say things where I'm like, I
Speaker 1: can't help you. Then it's really interesting, like I love
Speaker 1: rice in regardless of my Irish last name, because you
Speaker 1: know Slavery. I'm not a huge potato fan. Um. I
Speaker 1: don't know when is that I could tell you. It's
Speaker 1: probably been more than a decade since I've eaten a
Speaker 1: mash potato. I don't cook them at my house. I
Speaker 1: don't even I don't buy them. I don't buy meal
Speaker 1: eat it. The only time I have a potato really
Speaker 1: is if I'm eating like a potato chip or a
Speaker 1: French fry, and I don't really and so the only
Speaker 1: really French fries I really really like the crinkle cut
Speaker 1: fries with lowry seasoning, salt, okay, with hot wings. So
Speaker 1: unless that's happening like the shoe string potato or like
Speaker 1: the releasent one my my nemesis, they're awful and I'm
Speaker 1: in an assualt to adulthood. But like, curly fries are
Speaker 1: good because there's always seasoned. But I always wonder whenever
Speaker 1: I see a curly fried, and I'm like, okay, but
Speaker 1: like where's the rest of because they can't all be
Speaker 1: like curly fries are interesting. I just don't understand how
Speaker 1: they make them. Um, I do understand people like people
Speaker 1: love potatoes, people love bread. I don't love those things.
Speaker 1: You you need, you need listen. I'm always surprised about
Speaker 1: how I'm a size when I don't eat the very
Speaker 1: archie things. But there's other things that will make you fat,
Speaker 1: like genetics. Like I just this is genetics in your life,
Speaker 1: the love of a French fry. Would I'd rather eat
Speaker 1: a slice tortilla deep fried? Cutting the strip? Let's not
Speaker 1: even bad. I'm not even saying that that's that's a
Speaker 1: crazy thing. I'm just saying a French fry what you're
Speaker 1: missing out on in life? Because here's the thinking. If
Speaker 1: I gave up on your rings today, I'd be giving
Speaker 1: up something that I ate once, maybe a year by accident,
Speaker 1: because it's just what was at the table. Everyone decided
Speaker 1: to split everything, and it's what somebody ordered. You know.
Speaker 1: Onion rings can be done badly, Yeah, they can be done.
Speaker 1: I mean it also depends on you. Gotta get the
Speaker 1: right because this is where I gain or lose respect
Speaker 1: for somebody's onion ring. Okay, it all exactly. It all
Speaker 1: starts around the fold, around the actual onion. Because if
Speaker 1: I bite in and there is a shoe string of
Speaker 1: onion for this big old onion ring and I've got
Speaker 1: nothing but a mouthful of corn meal, A we're not
Speaker 1: friends anymore, you know, I hear you. I've also had
Speaker 1: French fries that were overdone, that we're underdone, that we're cold,
Speaker 1: that were you know, there's the steak fry, there's the
Speaker 1: you don't like a steak fry. It's just it's just
Speaker 1: too much potato. Sometimes you said it like you've really
Speaker 1: been through it with them, Like you said you try
Speaker 1: to give him a chance, And then I really did.
Speaker 1: But my mom got this KFC face and my brother,
Speaker 1: one of my brother's homeboys used to work at KFC,
Speaker 1: so we would get hooked up all the time, and
Speaker 1: eventually I was just like, I can't eat a quarter
Speaker 1: of a potato. So when you give me the fries,
Speaker 1: so it's like, first of all, they only gave you
Speaker 1: like five fries. When you ate all of them, you
Speaker 1: ate an entire ps like you could put them together
Speaker 1: and they would make one whole potato. And sometimes when
Speaker 1: you're chewing our friends right, Like, sometimes they'll just get
Speaker 1: stuck in your chest like you ever had that that
Speaker 1: has happened, and that is terrifying, right, You're just like,
Speaker 1: That's what I'm like. I shouldn't be eating any of
Speaker 1: this stuff, clearly because I've never had I've never had
Speaker 1: a carrot get stuck. M car gonna do you like that?
Speaker 1: Carrick on slide side stipping slide. These potatoes, on the
Speaker 1: other hand, are just holding on all the way down. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm with you. I'm not saying either one of these
Speaker 1: are healthy. No. Also, sidebar, are you in a short
Speaker 1: sleeve shirt? What you wear a short sleeve shirt? Maybe?
Speaker 1: Let you see? No never what how dare my modesty?
Speaker 1: But you mean, for those of you that don't know,
Speaker 1: I have never seen Josh Johnson's elbows, so very if
Speaker 1: you have Josh is a good Christian woman, You'll never
Speaker 1: see his ankles or his wrist. You will never see
Speaker 1: johsh Johns's elbows or knees. Friend, not today, not ever.
Speaker 1: They got pants on at the beach yep, yep, even
Speaker 1: when we all when Daily Show went to Miami, I
Speaker 1: walked on the beach in sneakers and long pants. I'm
Speaker 1: so glad I did to see you. I would have
Speaker 1: pushed you in her not even high waters, like straight
Speaker 1: up ready to go, I would have I would have
Speaker 1: hit you with a clumber went saying like it was
Speaker 1: a fucking snowball, and I would have gone back to
Speaker 1: my room. I would have put on some different jeans.
Speaker 1: Oh man. The whole time we were in Miami, I
Speaker 1: didn't have a whole anything I had addressed. There was
Speaker 1: a whole back was out fucking posit for pictures of Trevor.
Speaker 1: My toes were never covered the entire time I was
Speaker 1: in Ever. Yeah, see that's that's like, I mean, that's
Speaker 1: a different discussion for a different day. But like the
Speaker 1: fact that people are out here thinking that sandals or shoes,
Speaker 1: I cannot abide it. You know, I was born in
Speaker 1: Miami and we lived there, like I was born and raised,
Speaker 1: was born in Miami, is raised at land in Miami.
Speaker 1: So the fact that I was like, oh I'm home,
Speaker 1: bro tows us out, titties was out, knees was out
Speaker 1: the whole come on, doc. And I'm not even saying
Speaker 1: I don't like sandals. I'm just saying sometimes especially this
Speaker 1: is a new York thing right, because New York is nasty.
Speaker 1: So sometimes something nasty will happen to somebody's foot in
Speaker 1: New York and they'll act like they had a shoe on.
Speaker 1: But I'll be like, no, you were in sandals, so
Speaker 1: when the rat ran over your foot, of course it
Speaker 1: touched your toes because you're not wearing shoes. Right. That's
Speaker 1: just set yourself up for success, is all I'm saying.
Speaker 1: They also, you have to pay more attention. I do
Speaker 1: people walking through New York who aren't paying attention. Yeah? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean if you are walking in New York in sandals,
Speaker 1: at the bottle of your foot when you get done
Speaker 1: with your day is black, you're not wearing a shoe,
Speaker 1: then we're out with the elements. I understand. Walmart feet
Speaker 1: isn't issue, okay, because that's when my country asked friend
Speaker 1: told you you were exam at the bottom of your
Speaker 1: feet are black. She calls it Walmart feet. And the
Speaker 1: first time she said, I was like what she said,
Speaker 1: when your bottom you're feeling like you're walking through the
Speaker 1: wall on our barefoot, And I was like, this is
Speaker 1: this This is thank you Lagrange Georgias, because this is
Speaker 1: this is accurate. I love a sandal. I hate when closed.
Speaker 1: And I mean you already know the listeners know this.
Speaker 1: I hate all of the acculture amount that comes with
Speaker 1: fucking non warm weather. I have very pretty feet I have.
Speaker 1: I wanta got pedicures with my mom and we woudy
Speaker 1: go see her home girl so she could pick up
Speaker 1: her wigs, and we got pedicures, and mom we were
Speaker 1: showing our pedicures off, and my mother was like, look
Speaker 1: at her baby toe. You've never seen that full of
Speaker 1: a nail on the baby toiel before. And he and
Speaker 1: her own girls in there going no why why Everyone
Speaker 1: at the salon was amazed by the full whole nail
Speaker 1: on this baby toe and they were and I was like,
Speaker 1: my secret, I never wear pinching shoes because my mother,
Speaker 1: you know, she's like, if a shoe was cute, she's
Speaker 1: at fuck that, okay, And as soon as it gets warm,
Speaker 1: told her out, toes are out because that ends up
Speaker 1: happening with people. Because I'm not even like a foot
Speaker 1: person or anything, you know. I mean, I'm not grossed
Speaker 1: out by feet, but I just don't think about feet,
Speaker 1: you know. But I will say whoops. I will say
Speaker 1: for most people. You know, if you don't react, it
Speaker 1: didn't happen. I know, but I'm gonna react because the
Speaker 1: way you said, whoops on your rings, they have to
Speaker 1: have there's a time thing. You don't get them right
Speaker 1: at the right time. It's they're gonna be soft, They're
Speaker 1: gonna be cold. But also like a cold French fry.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, a cold French fry is a punch in
Speaker 1: the tongue. Is a punch in the tongue and the
Speaker 1: in your back, like I don't want to feel. I
Speaker 1: don't want anything that's not back tight, Like you're like,
Speaker 1: I gotta, I gotta finish these. But now my fucking
Speaker 1: back is tight because I ate the cold ass French
Speaker 1: fries and ate too many of them. Because but also
Speaker 1: we have to remember is like I don't know what
Speaker 1: happened a couple of years ago, but like or tater
Speaker 1: tots started hitting restaurants and I was like, the funk
Speaker 1: was this? There are we I guess got tired of
Speaker 1: selling them the elementary schools and all, and somebody was
Speaker 1: in a meeting like, yo, I'm telling you, we send
Speaker 1: this to one fucking funky restaurant. You know, some cool
Speaker 1: glass restaurant, and these ships will blow up, and now
Speaker 1: all over the South you get tattos and fucking poutine,
Speaker 1: tater tots and all kinds of ship and tater tots.
Speaker 1: You know what tater tots are. They're the hot dogs
Speaker 1: of potatoes. First of all, how dare you? No? No, no, no,
Speaker 1: that's how it happened. Do you ever see that show
Speaker 1: How it Was Made? No? Maybe I have. I don't
Speaker 1: think so. Oh, that show how it is made? Josh
Speaker 1: Elbos on that show How it was made? Nick, I've
Speaker 1: never seen your four arms um on that show How
Speaker 1: It's Made. They were saying that tear talks came about
Speaker 1: because when they would make French fries, there would be
Speaker 1: these off cuts and they were like throwing away all
Speaker 1: of this like off cut, and they were like, wait
Speaker 1: a minute, how do we utilize these because the pieces
Speaker 1: would be so small you couldn't turn them in anything else.
Speaker 1: And somebody was in some dude was like, hey, I
Speaker 1: thought to think about this, and that's on tear tots
Speaker 1: have got invented because they were all the fucking off
Speaker 1: cuts of French fries. Would you consider the tatar tie
Speaker 1: of French fry? Do you do you really believe that?
Speaker 1: Because I understand the n pieces, I understand the origin.
Speaker 1: But now when people are specifically making tear tots under themselves,
Speaker 1: do you consider those French fries? I don't think so.
Speaker 1: You don't think so, because I feel like they fall
Speaker 1: in camp. They fall in camp, they fall in camp.
Speaker 1: Um because also, like you know, there's two different types
Speaker 1: of hash browns. There's the hash browns that are like
Speaker 1: the ones from Awful House, and then there's the hashbrowns
Speaker 1: are the ones from McDonald's. McDonald's are just flat, just
Speaker 1: grown up tear talks. Basically, Yeah, yeah, but I do.
Speaker 1: I do love love a McDonald's hashbrown. When I was little,
Speaker 1: McDonald's hash brown and McDonald's fries were the only reasons
Speaker 1: that I like even looked at the McDonald's. I like
Speaker 1: the toy sometimes, but I wasn't a burger kid. Like like,
Speaker 1: I grew to like hamburgers. But when I was a
Speaker 1: little kid, the hash browns and the French fries We're
Speaker 1: all I needed. You didn't like burgers as a kid.
Speaker 1: I thought they were fine, but I wasn't excited. I
Speaker 1: think we've all given the burger entirely too much credit
Speaker 1: because we act like that this is like this magnetis
Speaker 1: let's American fair food is also the saddest, Like we
Speaker 1: go to an American Fair restaurant, You're just like, okay,
Speaker 1: a burger and then what like tell me because like
Speaker 1: because America is just a slap dash fucking place, because
Speaker 1: America is a business and not a country. Truly. We
Speaker 1: talked about fucking freedom, but it's it's a fucking business
Speaker 1: more than anything. Remember as a kid getting like one
Speaker 1: of those kids across the world books and they would
Speaker 1: have kids in their traditional clothing of their country, and
Speaker 1: then it got to the United States and it was
Speaker 1: a kid is that because I was a boy and
Speaker 1: a girl, Right, So I'm looking at the traditional clothing
Speaker 1: of Poland, fucking uh child, a Japan, Mexico, Argentina right
Speaker 1: showing you that, Russia showing you the traditional clothing of
Speaker 1: these countries, and a little paint with water book it
Speaker 1: gets to America fucking T shirt and jeans m hm,
Speaker 1: and I was like, we have nothing, we have nothing.
Speaker 1: So it's like that's why I think about it, Like
Speaker 1: America is just like because we're a fucking we invented
Speaker 1: the jeans right, we invented dinnam right, just so it's like, okay,
Speaker 1: I get it. I'm sure we invented, but it's also
Speaker 1: we invented denam to protect people from machinery and people
Speaker 1: like I love wearing jeans and I'm like, bitch, you're
Speaker 1: in and like you're in a you're in protective gear.
Speaker 1: Like it's like plus, jeans have never been comfortable. We
Speaker 1: can all calm down, right, So it's like America's a
Speaker 1: fucking business. It's like, of course, it's like we have
Speaker 1: a few things. Let's get them right. French fries and
Speaker 1: figured that the funk out, the POTENTI the onion ring,
Speaker 1: It's like it's a delicate balance. I'll give it, a
Speaker 1: delicate balance. You know. Onion rings are like when you
Speaker 1: get a good onion ring with a little bit of give,
Speaker 1: so crispy, but a little bit of give. Also those
Speaker 1: are like a good solid onion in there. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: something with a bit of crunch, right, because you've had
Speaker 1: onion rings where just like all these just been sitting
Speaker 1: in the window where the fund was the server. Right,
Speaker 1: I'll tell you right now too. Sometimes you bite in
Speaker 1: and you get like this and this is maybe this
Speaker 1: this is maybe too specific of an experience, but I
Speaker 1: feel like this must happen other people. You bite into
Speaker 1: the onon ring, right you get you get halfway through,
Speaker 1: and that's when you realize that, like the rest of
Speaker 1: the onion ring itself, the actual onion is like, now
Speaker 1: we go together. You're not biting through anything, and so
Speaker 1: now you've been through the crust of the onion ring.
Speaker 1: But the actual onion is tough. It's like a little slimy,
Speaker 1: and it's like it's not gonna break for you. What
Speaker 1: I don't like is when people don't peel enough of
Speaker 1: the onion, so you've got the flesh of an onion
Speaker 1: and then you get that papery part because it's all
Speaker 1: on the same yeah, And I just the anger I
Speaker 1: had one day. These were good onion rings and this
Speaker 1: was the last one, and I was like, you mother fuckers, why,
Speaker 1: But like, also, but then there's like the burger king
Speaker 1: onion ring and just sometimes getting your frogs and you're
Speaker 1: just like because one of my friends she was like,
Speaker 1: she only likes the burger king onion ring, and I
Speaker 1: was like, but it's not even like a real it's
Speaker 1: like an onion kind of someone's like onion paste in there.
Speaker 1: It's not like a real it's not like because you've
Speaker 1: got an on your ring in your friends before burger king. Yeah,
Speaker 1: there's not. It's not like it's a real I don't
Speaker 1: think it's like a real onion onion in there. And
Speaker 1: she was like, yeah, that's why I like it because
Speaker 1: it's not a real onion. But it's like I because
Speaker 1: any time I see onion rings on the menu, I
Speaker 1: get excited every time. I don't always order them because
Speaker 1: I'm just like, you know what, you need to calm that.
Speaker 1: You need to calm down. You need to calm down.
Speaker 1: I've been looking at the thing. Uh that's a thing
Speaker 1: on TikTok. It's like, hey, you got too much dip
Speaker 1: on your chip. You need to relax. You need to relax.
Speaker 1: And that's what I'm trying to do it. I'm not
Speaker 1: make sure I'm not not out here with too much
Speaker 1: diploma chip. Okay, speaking of dip, the French fry is
Speaker 1: the perfect dipping utensil. But but that means that you're
Speaker 1: your focus is the dip and not the fry. No, No,
Speaker 1: it's both, it's both. I love I love what a Burger,
Speaker 1: what a burger? Water Burger people do not honestly, when
Speaker 1: are the are you gonna fucking franchise? Where are they
Speaker 1: gonna be? Bro water Burger. I remember I went to
Speaker 1: Texas one to I was like when I first started
Speaker 1: going on the road doing colleges and I was starving.
Speaker 1: I flew in late the night before because you always
Speaker 1: had a flying that night before, and I had no
Speaker 1: mode of transportation. And this was when an uber wasn't
Speaker 1: popping like it's popping now. Uber Eats wasn't even a thing.
Speaker 1: So I paid the dude in cash to take me
Speaker 1: through the drive at water Burger. And the number of
Speaker 1: times I remember leaving the Texas Airport and I was like,
Speaker 1: it was like the Dallas Airport because I don't think
Speaker 1: it's in the Austin Airport. It's not in the Austin Airport.
Speaker 1: There's a water Burger in the Dallas Airport. At the time,
Speaker 1: I had to go to a different terminal m and
Speaker 1: I was like, I actually got to the airport on time.
Speaker 1: I'm going to walk the twenty minutes to this other
Speaker 1: tournamental to get this water Burger and then I'm gonna
Speaker 1: eat it. In the plank, because when I tell you
Speaker 1: that the right sauce with the right French fry cannot
Speaker 1: be matched, like like you already you've already told me
Speaker 1: that a lot of places don't have the onion rings, right,
Speaker 1: So it's not even an option in some places. Yes,
Speaker 1: but everybody everywhere has French fries. And once again you
Speaker 1: were talking about it. When something is available everywhere, does
Speaker 1: that make them a loose woman? Who? No, does this
Speaker 1: make the potato of flusi or is it adaptable, industrial
Speaker 1: and cheap to produce? It is? But what I would
Speaker 1: say is I have no problem with the potato being
Speaker 1: an ethical slut, all right. I hear you, I hear you.
Speaker 1: But I think that it's not something. A lot of
Speaker 1: places don't offer onion rings because their work. Right everywhere
Speaker 1: offers French fries because you just buy them frozen. But
Speaker 1: I think we could do better for ourselves when it
Speaker 1: comes to the French fried potato. Also, we cannot talk
Speaker 1: about French fries and I'll talk about the fact that,
Speaker 1: uh we started calling them freedom fries. I was like,
Speaker 1: white people don't have enough problems, and no one got
Speaker 1: on boards. No one got on board freedom fries is great.
Speaker 1: Do you remember this nonsense? Yeah, I guess the French
Speaker 1: wouldn't go to war with us or some ship. So
Speaker 1: we stopped, like they're like, we're calling for him. Was like,
Speaker 1: it doesn't. They don't even call these that. They don't
Speaker 1: call them French fries. We do. They call them palm fruits,
Speaker 1: which is it's just fried fucking potatoes. Now does every
Speaker 1: type of country do a French fry? I don't know,
Speaker 1: because I feel like an onion ring is very American specific. Yes,
Speaker 1: it's one of those things where like this is just us,
Speaker 1: We're the only ones doing this because honestly, I've been
Speaker 1: to Australia. I ain't seen now bloom and onion the
Speaker 1: whole fucking time I was there. Yeah, but they do.
Speaker 1: They do have onions. Everywhere has onions. So that's what
Speaker 1: I'm always taken aback white because the blooming onion. Because
Speaker 1: this is the thing. This is also why a part
Speaker 1: of me took issue with you wrapping the bloomen onion
Speaker 1: into the other rag because they're not two different things.
Speaker 1: They're almost like tater tots and French frauds. But the
Speaker 1: bloom and onion, the power of a blue but hey
Speaker 1: when you remember my first blue but onion, Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: it's amazing. Oh I think this is all I eat now, right,
Speaker 1: which is you you would die, don't do that, but
Speaker 1: truly die. But the bloom and onion. I'm blown away
Speaker 1: that more countries aren't doing that. I remember I worked
Speaker 1: at this place called Old Time Pottery, and I was
Speaker 1: in high school and I bought you know, you actually
Speaker 1: have the like the cuts for that thing are actually
Speaker 1: really hard to do and just a regular because there's
Speaker 1: so many, because it's like you have to cut it
Speaker 1: so much, but you can't get through the base of it.
Speaker 1: I want to fall apart. And I remember buying the
Speaker 1: little it's almost like a guess what there's gonna call
Speaker 1: it as a jig where it's got the it's slots.
Speaker 1: It's the two but slots in it, and you cut
Speaker 1: off the top, like the very top of an onion.
Speaker 1: You put this down in it, and then you do
Speaker 1: you go around with a knife and just do all
Speaker 1: of these cuts. And then we made the tempera batter
Speaker 1: and Friday and I was like we we we were
Speaker 1: going to do this all the time. We're like, this
Speaker 1: is a problem. But the first time, I'm blew it
Speaker 1: on your cut it you put it in a little sauce. Now.
Speaker 1: The other thing is the range that the French fries
Speaker 1: are coming with, because, like I said before, you got
Speaker 1: the waffle fried, you've got the thick cut fries, You've
Speaker 1: got the skinny, itty bitty fries, you've got the curly fries.
Speaker 1: You've got the sweet potato fries. Now that's a whole
Speaker 1: different creature. Sweet potato. They are out here doing everything
Speaker 1: that the regular French fries doing in the same shapes
Speaker 1: in the same time. But this is the thing with
Speaker 1: the sweet potato fry. If you don't know how to
Speaker 1: fry that bitch, right, you just have a mushy orange
Speaker 1: French fry. No, that's true. Number of times I've just
Speaker 1: had just the mushy, foldable, limp class of sweet potato fry. Yeah.
Speaker 1: And you want people tato fries to be good. You
Speaker 1: want to succeed. Yeah, you want them to succeed. You know,
Speaker 1: it's nice to see some diversity in the fry industry, right,
Speaker 1: A potato of color just coming in. Yeah, sure, you
Speaker 1: know what the title of color. I'm with you, though,
Speaker 1: It's time we end the segregation at the plate. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you know, people already don't want their food to touch.
Speaker 1: So I think it's like the on your ring is
Speaker 1: like when I see them, I get them, and there's
Speaker 1: it's I can say them. For as much as I
Speaker 1: really love them, I've been disappointed so many times, but
Speaker 1: I keep trying. It's like I'm a believer. It's like,
Speaker 1: you know what, I went back to the same man
Speaker 1: multiple times in eight years, and it was never good.
Speaker 1: So I'm already making bad decisions. Why not just keep
Speaker 1: trying these fucking onion rings. But when you get an
Speaker 1: onion ring, that's good. You're like, oh, because like my
Speaker 1: mom made on your rings. One day, man, my mom
Speaker 1: be cooking bro I saw her one day temper a
Speaker 1: fry a pound of broccoli and two pounds of green beans,
Speaker 1: and it sounds like a lot, but it's not. You
Speaker 1: think a pound is bigger than what it is. And
Speaker 1: she's doing it. And my brother was like, why are
Speaker 1: you fryings vegetables? It isn't even healthy. And my mother
Speaker 1: was like, honestly, she's sitting there eating fried green She's like, honestly,
Speaker 1: I never even like vegetables. I just ate them. For y'all,
Speaker 1: and she's sit there. Let me let me throw this
Speaker 1: out there though, let me throw this out there. I
Speaker 1: think one of the only reasons that we fry green
Speaker 1: beans is because we have potatoes and we have French fries.
Speaker 1: And somebody looked at a green being one day and
Speaker 1: they were like, what if this was a French fry too, Huh.
Speaker 1: I think that that's what happened. I have no proof,
Speaker 1: there is no evidence behind what I'm saying, but oh,
Speaker 1: it's like I believe that, Like, after thinking about it,
Speaker 1: I think magnetic lashes are gonna make women cross were
Speaker 1: women whoever wears magnetic lashes, I think it's gonna make
Speaker 1: them cross hot? And I was saying to my mom,
Speaker 1: I was like, I tried the magnetic glass because she
Speaker 1: wears lashes all the time. And then I was like,
Speaker 1: I think many people as like, why don't you going
Speaker 1: to try it? And I was like, no, I changed
Speaker 1: my mind about it. Don't try it, don't do it,
Speaker 1: don't do it, don't do it. I have absolutely no
Speaker 1: evidence that a magnetic lash advertised too. So they put
Speaker 1: metal shavings because magnets need metal, So there's metal shavings
Speaker 1: in an eyelighter, and you put the liner on your eyes,
Speaker 1: and then you put it on the lash, and then
Speaker 1: because of magnetism, the stick to your fucking eyes. This
Speaker 1: seems like a bad idea, thank you, because out the
Speaker 1: science behind metal. They were like, there's some metal shavings
Speaker 1: in the water. It's like, all right, was getting cut up?
Speaker 1: Or I needed just a strong bread of filter. I'll
Speaker 1: go as far as say this. I think that we
Speaker 1: get the shards that we do now of carrot of squash.
Speaker 1: You know those very thin, almost circle shards that that
Speaker 1: people cut things into and they either fry them up
Speaker 1: or they serve them as a garnish. I think that
Speaker 1: that comes from curly cues. I think that comes from
Speaker 1: the shoe string fry. Okay, I you know when you
Speaker 1: see like the spiral cut vegetables, or like the zucchini noodle,
Speaker 1: which I tried the zucchini noodle and it really broke
Speaker 1: my fucking heart. Yeah. No, I fought for it for
Speaker 1: a long time. There was a place that did zucchini
Speaker 1: noodles and pat tie and I wanted to love it
Speaker 1: so badly. Every time I bit down, I was like,
Speaker 1: this is too much of a battle. If it's on
Speaker 1: my plate, it should be it should be dead, especially
Speaker 1: a vegetable fighting back felt very much alive life. Yeah,
Speaker 1: she was not welcome, No, because it wasn't It was
Speaker 1: a soft crutch. It was the texture was this profession
Speaker 1: was not supposed to be get a sauce like this.
Speaker 1: It's like it was coming from a place that should
Speaker 1: have been cooked down. Yes, it would be like if
Speaker 1: you were eating your KFC and in the middle of
Speaker 1: the meal the chicken woke up. It was like, hey,
Speaker 1: why are you eating me? Like yo, oh my god.
Speaker 1: Cause you imagine I'll say this because you know we've
Speaker 1: all we both want the restaurants the French fries. They
Speaker 1: do their own French fries. It's a box basically of blades.
Speaker 1: You put the potato you pull down, You put the
Speaker 1: potato you pulled out, put the potato you pulled out
Speaker 1: with the onion ring. You gotta slice it up, then
Speaker 1: you gotta separate it. Then you got to toss it
Speaker 1: in batter. Then you got a deep fright. So there's
Speaker 1: way more work that goes into the onion ring. But
Speaker 1: anything that's a classy end of value is gonna require more.
Speaker 1: Weren't the potato is a simple, simple person. He is
Speaker 1: a simple guy, you know. M m, he's uh, he's
Speaker 1: the simple guy. He probably enjoys staycations now, probably enjoys
Speaker 1: winter time. Wow, how absolutely dare which mean? I mean
Speaker 1: the fact that the fact that you tried to bring
Speaker 1: it all the way back around. I'm just saying I
Speaker 1: can understand. Listen, I Hayden hating that onion rings will
Speaker 1: never reach the pinnacle the level the echelon. Oh no, no, no,
Speaker 1: no, no no, of a French fry. No no, no, no no,
Speaker 1: no no no. There is no echelon to be met
Speaker 1: when you are pedestrian. Okay, there is no There is
Speaker 1: no to call a perfectly fried waffle fried pedestrian. Just
Speaker 1: lets me know how out of touch you really are.
Speaker 1: A waffle fry is just a French fry with complexity.
Speaker 1: They just had we had somebody with some time. That's all.
Speaker 1: That's all, because you know what waffle fries people are not.
Speaker 1: No one's cutting people will cut French fries out of restaurant.
Speaker 1: They are not taking time and a bity restaurant to
Speaker 1: make their own waff of fry that is a factory.
Speaker 1: No one's making their own curly fries. That is a factory.
Speaker 1: You understand, this is factory work. This is factory food. Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm not saying that the food it's factory food. It's
Speaker 1: factory Do you want do you want people in your kitchen?
Speaker 1: Enjoy your life. I'm not saying I don't have to
Speaker 1: join in my life. What I'm saying is that I
Speaker 1: want to expand my experiences. Okay, I want to do
Speaker 1: new things with my palette. Everybody sells French fries. If
Speaker 1: you got hot grease, you can sell a fucking French fry.
Speaker 1: Not everybody's taking the time needed to make a waff
Speaker 1: of fry because it's not for everybody. Okay, that's not
Speaker 1: work that everyone can do. You have to know what
Speaker 1: your skill level is, your level of determination, okay, your
Speaker 1: ability to make this batter, to make sure these fries
Speaker 1: that make these iron rings is cut right. French fries
Speaker 1: doesn't shoot. They strap it to the wall. That French
Speaker 1: fries culdn't thing. If you've made your own fries in
Speaker 1: your own restaurant, they strapped that bitch to the wall. Okay,
Speaker 1: you know what we're gonna do. We're gonna kick it
Speaker 1: over to the listener. Let's over. You gonna do ask
Speaker 1: the people because what I because, listen, this is gonna
Speaker 1: be another state case of vacation situation. I'm coming from
Speaker 1: a different place in life. Uh and apparently I'm coming pedestrian.
Speaker 1: You out here with shoes on the boots on the ground, front,
Speaker 1: boots on the ground. You let us know what you feel.
Speaker 1: Are you an on your ring fan or your French
Speaker 1: fry lover? Okay? I know more people are gonna say
Speaker 1: French fry and I'm fine with that because if I
Speaker 1: got on this podcast trying to impress people, I would
Speaker 1: be wrong. I'm just here. It's not about being changing
Speaker 1: hearts and minds. It's about letting people know that you
Speaker 1: don't know what to do with your mouth. Okay, we
Speaker 1: want to hear from all of you. You know what
Speaker 1: do you love? What? What can you maybe not stand? Okay?
Speaker 1: Do you sigh with duels? Say? Do you think that
Speaker 1: on your rings are better? Or do you side with
Speaker 1: me and think that French fries are delight? Okay? Let
Speaker 1: us know. If you are looking to catch up with
Speaker 1: us on the socials, you can find me at Josh
Speaker 1: Johnson Comedy on TikTok, Instagram and YouTube. I also have
Speaker 1: another podcast called The Josh Johnson Show. And if you
Speaker 1: are looking for DULs Say, you can find me on
Speaker 1: a lot of the socials except Tumbler. I don't know
Speaker 1: if that page still works in as anybody on my space,
Speaker 1: but you can find me on the Stuff We Funk
Speaker 1: with DULs Say Sloan and it's d u l c
Speaker 1: E s l o N. We're gonna spoil across the
Speaker 1: bottom of screen. You good and we appreciate you listening.
Speaker 1: We appreciate your tuning in every week. Um. We hope
Speaker 1: you have a great rest of the day. And whap
Speaker 1: babba blue babba wa bamboom. This has been hold up.
Speaker 1: We've covered conscious wrap versus club bangers, barslow versus body wash,
Speaker 1: diners versus waffle houses, all sorts of things. What else
Speaker 1: should we be talking about? We want to know from you.
Speaker 1: Let us know, drop us a comment or hit hold
Speaker 1: up on social at the Daily Show. What's the Daily
Speaker 1: Show weeknights at eleven tenth Central on Comedy Central. In
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Speaker 1: a Comedy Central podcast