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Speaker 1: Hi.

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Speaker 2: I'm Laura Vanderkamp. I'm a mother of five, an author, journalist,

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Speaker 2: and speaker.

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Speaker 3: And I'm Sarah Hart Hunger, a mother of three, practicing physician, writer,

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Speaker 3: and course creator. We are two working parents who love

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Speaker 3: our careers and our families.

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Speaker 2: Welcome to best of both worlds. Here we talk about

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Speaker 2: how real women manage work, family, and time for fun,

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Speaker 2: from figuring out childcare to mapping out long.

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Speaker 1: Term career goals.

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Speaker 2: We want you to get the most out of life.

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Speaker 1: Welcome to best of both worlds. This is Laura.

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Speaker 2: This episode is airing in late January of twenty twenty six,

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Speaker 2: so fun fact, this is actually the first episode that

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Speaker 2: we have recorded.

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Speaker 1: Together in the new year.

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Speaker 2: Sarah and I tend to work ahead a little bit

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Speaker 2: in order to not have disasters strike, so we have

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Speaker 2: to work more ahead before the holidays. So we're going

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Speaker 2: to be talking today about some life updates, and then

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Speaker 2: with that some life skills that we think are important

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Speaker 2: for young people kids to learn, and talking a little

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Speaker 2: bit about when we may have learned some of them ourselves.

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Speaker 2: This was inspired by a Patreon community member's post about

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Speaker 2: little tutorials she was doing with her children.

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Speaker 1: We were really excited about that.

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Speaker 2: But speaking of that, Sarah, our Patreon community, it really

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Speaker 2: has lit up over the last month.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: I don't know if it's a combination of people being

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Speaker 3: so excited to do a lot of planning with us

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Speaker 3: with the new year, like, or if it's sort of

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Speaker 3: a pushback to people thinking, Okay, I want connection and

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Speaker 3: I want a community, but I am tired of finding

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Speaker 3: that community on various social media platforms, which then distract

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Speaker 3: me and have me doing things I didn't.

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Speaker 4: Wish to be doing.

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Speaker 3: But whatever it is, it's been really great because there's

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Speaker 3: just been so much like back and forth and support

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Speaker 3: that we're posting, and we just had a really fun

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Speaker 3: live which we do every single month, so Yeah, and

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Speaker 3: then we thought that it might be really fun to

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Speaker 3: come up with a little bit of a more interactive

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Speaker 3: component this year.

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Speaker 4: So we've started.

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Speaker 3: Issuing weekly challenges that are totally optional but just like

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Speaker 3: things for people to try to accomplish and report back on.

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Speaker 3: And like the first week we had people make sure

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Speaker 3: that they had two things that were fun scheduled for

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Speaker 3: themselves within the next month, and then this prior week

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Speaker 3: we were doing like a time tracking challenge that went

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Speaker 3: along with one of Laura's time tracking challenges. So things

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Speaker 3: like that, things that will just be fun and enhance

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Speaker 3: your life. But for some people they want that little

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Speaker 3: extra layer of accountability and we are happy to provide that.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. No, we had about one hundred new members over

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Speaker 2: the last month, which is incredibly exciting to see people

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Speaker 2: bringing new ideas, new energy.

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Speaker 1: We've had a couple of really good threads.

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Speaker 2: I mean, one that got a lot of people weighing

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Speaker 2: in was on selective eating.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, we had many many talents on that one, right.

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Speaker 3: Yes, I mean these challenges that we have, we feel

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Speaker 3: so alone sometimes and then we realize, oh my gosh,

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Speaker 3: there are so many other people in the same position.

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Speaker 3: I mean, the value of our community is like ten

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Speaker 3: percent us and ninety percent the other people in that community.

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Speaker 3: So when you have a question like selective eating or

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Speaker 3: a struggle that you're going through, it is very common

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Speaker 3: for other people to be like, oh, me too, and

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Speaker 3: this is what helped, and this is what didn't help,

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Speaker 3: and don't beat yourself up and et cetera. So yeah,

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Speaker 3: that's one great example, but probably many many others out

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Speaker 3: there like it.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and I know some members of our community have

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Speaker 2: connected outside of the community, people are forming like accountability partnerships.

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Speaker 2: Sarah had us all posting a quirky goal. That thread

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Speaker 2: got about eighty plus comments. I believe we had some

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Speaker 2: quirky goals in the group.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, people.

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Speaker 3: I mean I feel like I set my own quirky goals,

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Speaker 3: so it was really really fun to see some other people's.

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Speaker 3: I don't know if they're going to out anybody's quirky goal,

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Speaker 3: because that is one thing about our community is we

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Speaker 3: try to keep things. People see it as a safe space,

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Speaker 3: so we're never going to post anything publicly or without anonymity.

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Speaker 4: But for people that again kind of.

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Speaker 3: Want that playground to play around with without the risk

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Speaker 3: of things being more popularly spread like maybe they might

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Speaker 3: be on other platforms, it's great for that.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, absolutely, so come join us. It's the best of

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Speaker 1: both worlds.

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Speaker 2: Pod over at Patreon and membership is nine dollars a month,

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Speaker 2: and for that we are doing multiple threads per week

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Speaker 2: in our forum where people are discussing. We do the

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Speaker 2: monthly meetups by Zoom that are a lot of fun

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Speaker 2: and are always recorded afterwards, so hopefully some people will

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Speaker 2: consider joining us there.

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Speaker 1: So moving into our life updates portion of this episode.

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Speaker 2: So Sarah the other day texted me I guess randomly

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Speaker 2: on a Friday that she was like, I'm in a

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Speaker 2: different location working, so this was kind of exciting, Sarah,

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Speaker 2: what's changed with your work schedule?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, well, actually send a picture of the actual office,

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Speaker 3: like the place where I sit and do my notes

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Speaker 3: between patients, because it was really pretty. I mean, to

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Speaker 3: be fair, I'm not sure you have Well, you have

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Speaker 3: seen my office in person once, so you do have

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Speaker 3: a basis for comparison. Fun fact, Laura has walked the

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Speaker 3: halls of my usual patient practice location at least once.

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Speaker 3: But yeah, the opportunity came about because one of my colleagues,

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Speaker 3: I think, is actually possibly moving towards more of a

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Speaker 3: leadership position. And our main location is in Hollywood, and

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Speaker 3: that's where I've been based forever, the only place I've

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Speaker 3: ever seen patients since starting twelve years ago at the

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Speaker 3: hospital system where I work. But we actually have a

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Speaker 3: number of other locations, and so they said, oh, this

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Speaker 3: person wants to come to Hollywood a little more often,

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Speaker 3: anybody want to swap and take her day in this

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Speaker 3: other office.

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Speaker 4: And I was like, you know what.

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Speaker 3: It's equidistance the house, and I've always heard rumors about

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Speaker 3: how quiet it feels and how it's like a little

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Speaker 3: bit calmer, like it's not like the volumes any less.

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Speaker 3: We still see the same number of patients, but there's

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Speaker 3: something about it that just lacks the hustle and bustle

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Speaker 3: of the main site. And I got to say they

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Speaker 3: were totally right. So I've only gone once so far,

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Speaker 3: but it was a lovely day for two reasons. Number One,

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Speaker 3: I really did notice the quietness, and it's funny because

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Speaker 3: I don't think I noticed the buzz that's around until

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Speaker 3: it was gone. But it was very refreshing. But number two,

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Speaker 3: two of our younger members of the team, two of

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Speaker 3: the doctors that have joined in the last couple of years.

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Speaker 3: I don't get to see them very often as they're

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Speaker 3: at that location, and honestly, it felt like a little

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Speaker 3: party and I just think it'll be a great place

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Speaker 3: to spend Fridays.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Well, Sarah has been doing ongoing job crafting over the years.

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Speaker 2: It's always fun to see how she thinks about trying

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Speaker 2: new things and switching things up, even within the same career.

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Speaker 2: So probably other people out there who may have a

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Speaker 2: different location they could work sometimes if you work for

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Speaker 2: an organization that is in multiple locations.

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Speaker 1: So something to think about as a way to switch

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Speaker 1: things up.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, but you had a lot more exciting things going

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Speaker 3: on than simply doing the same job that you were

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Speaker 3: doing before in a different office you went on. First

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Speaker 3: of all, I have to say you had some teasers

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Speaker 3: about this trip, like you were like, oh, you know,

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Speaker 3: we're going somewhere and it might be big. Would you

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Speaker 3: like to share with our listeners where you guys did

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Speaker 3: head for Christmas Break twenty five, twenty twenty six.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, so my whole family, all seven of us, went

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Speaker 2: to Ecuador and the Galapagos. So this is a trip

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Speaker 2: that had been on my list of one hundred dreams.

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Speaker 2: I wanted to see the Galapagos Islands, of course, famous

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Speaker 2: islands in the Pacific, because Charles Darwin was there in

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Speaker 2: eighteen thirty five and noticed how the different animals were

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Speaker 2: suited to their environment, and over the years this turned

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Speaker 2: into the theory of natural selection that, of course he

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Speaker 2: is well known for, but that all germinated while he

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Speaker 2: was there in the Galapagos touring around.

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Speaker 1: So I wanted to go see it.

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Speaker 2: The wildlife there is very different than wildlife elsewhere because

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Speaker 2: it is so isolated. So we went, but of course

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Speaker 2: part of it being so isolated, it is in fact isolated.

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Speaker 2: It took quite a bit of effort to get there.

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Speaker 2: We flew through Miami to Quito, Ecuador. Keito is actually

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Speaker 2: a pretty big city. It wasn't really on my radar,

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Speaker 2: but it's like three million people in the Andes, so

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Speaker 2: it's high up. We were there for two nights at

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Speaker 2: the start. During the day, the first day we were there,

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Speaker 2: we went on a tour out to see the cloud

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Speaker 2: forest that is nearby and saw a lot of hummingbirds

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Speaker 2: and butterflies, went on a little hike to it a

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Speaker 2: chocolate factory kind of thing that was a bit touristy,

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Speaker 2: but anyway, saw some really cool things. And then the

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Speaker 2: next day we flew to the Galopagos Islands. We had

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Speaker 2: a tour group there. It was another It was a

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Speaker 2: family tour group, like everyone had to have kids with

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Speaker 2: them in order to go on out, which was good

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Speaker 2: because there's another family that had a six year old.

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Speaker 2: The other family that was on it had three kids

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Speaker 2: who were within a short distance of Alex's age, so

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Speaker 2: that was kind of cool too. But we went to

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Speaker 2: San Cristobal Islands for a few days, did a lot

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Speaker 2: of snorkeling, seeing wildlife. We went to Santa Cruz Island

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Speaker 2: then saw more wildlife around there, the sea lions, the iguanas, sharks,

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Speaker 2: blue footed boobies.

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Speaker 4: Yes, you guys.

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Speaker 3: She just like texts me casually like, hey, look, I

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Speaker 3: saw a blue footed booby. I mean, like, I don't know,

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Speaker 3: just seeing that just come across a phone screen, like

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Speaker 3: it was just like, you know, wandering around was pretty magical.

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Speaker 4: I meaneah, I mean.

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Speaker 1: Their feet really are blue. They are very very blue.

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Speaker 1: I mean I see why they are called that.

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Speaker 2: And then of course the giant tortoises are amazing, and

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Speaker 2: I can see be right by them in a way

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Speaker 2: that you can't with other wildlife. I mean, obviously there

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Speaker 2: are rules about you can't get too close to them,

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Speaker 2: but most other big wildlife is either scared of you

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Speaker 2: or you are scared of it, like there's some reaction

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Speaker 2: between the two of you.

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Speaker 1: But turtles are slow, so it doesn't really.

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Speaker 2: Happen that you would have any change in the animals

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Speaker 2: necessarily behavior near you. And so you could be so

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Speaker 2: close and observing them in a way that's not possible elsewhere.

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Speaker 4: Super cool.

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Speaker 3: The wildlife had to be a highlight. I have a question,

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Speaker 3: just circling back, how did you guys choose this other

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Speaker 3: than it being on your list? Like what made you

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Speaker 3: feel like now we're ready for this trip and remind

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Speaker 3: everybody how old the age span of everybody is.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, so my five kids are eighteen to six. We

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Speaker 2: are starting to get somewhat limited of when we can

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Speaker 2: travel because a college spring break is not necessarily the

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Speaker 2: same as the public schools spring break. People like to

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Speaker 2: do stuff like internships or summer programs when they get

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Speaker 2: to be older teenagers, and that means you don't know

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Speaker 2: what dates they're going to be available for trips that

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Speaker 2: are hard to plan if you don't plan far ahead.

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Speaker 2: We had not planned our Christmas break until about September

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Speaker 2: going into October, and we're honestly not finding a whole

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Speaker 2: lot of stuff available. I mean, we had looked into

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Speaker 2: going to Costa Rica, which is another place with unique

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Speaker 2: wildlife and both the rainforest and water kind of wildlife,

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Speaker 2: and I would love to go to Costa Rica sometime,

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Speaker 2: but most of the nice places were booked up and

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Speaker 2: it had been four months. We did some searching, like

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Speaker 2: family travel.

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Speaker 1: You see what was coming up.

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Speaker 2: Normally, when a lot of people to do the Galapagos,

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Speaker 2: they go on one of these national geographic cruises, and

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Speaker 2: that is certainly one way to see the islands is

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Speaker 2: circling the islands in a boat. I'm not opposed to that.

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Speaker 2: I don't really like boats all that much. But it

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Speaker 2: was not available either. I mean, you know, you're trying

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Speaker 2: to book in October for seven people in two months,

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Speaker 2: like you just can't get anything.

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Speaker 1: But this tour through g Adventures is the company.

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Speaker 2: It was open to children ages six and up, and

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Speaker 2: so Henry was turning six in fact, like when we

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Speaker 2: were going on this trip, and since you had to

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Speaker 2: have a kid, I thought that it would be more

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Speaker 2: doable as a group tour because it would be other

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Speaker 2: people with families, like they wouldn't view us as a

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Speaker 2: total freak show. And they had the itineries and the

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Speaker 2: dates worked, and it wasn't terribly pricey.

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Speaker 1: So we were like, well, we'll go for it, and

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Speaker 1: so that is what we wound up doing.

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Speaker 4: That is amazing.

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Speaker 3: Well, we're going to talk a little bit more about

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Speaker 3: your trip. I am not done after this first break,

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Speaker 3: we will be right back. Okay, we are back, and

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Speaker 3: I want to hear more about this trip in terms

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Speaker 3: of maybe what your favorite parts were, and then we'll

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Speaker 3: get into maybe some of your lesser favorite parts or

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Speaker 3: some struggles. So yes, give us the highlights.

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Speaker 2: First, well, seeing the Galapagos giant tortoises was definitely a highlight.

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Speaker 2: Or even just kayaking and seeing sharks right under you,

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Speaker 2: I mean, that's pretty exciting. They're docile sharks because we're

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Speaker 2: just swimming with them in the same waters that we

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Speaker 2: were kayaking with. But you know, the wildlife is amazing.

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Speaker 2: A sort of less obvious benefit is that it forced

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Speaker 2: the seven of us to be together a fair amount. So,

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Speaker 2: like every night, the seven of us are having dinner together,

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Speaker 2: which is not something that happens all that frequently except

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Speaker 2: over vacations because again, my older kids have their own lives,

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Speaker 2: they are off doing their oven things, and one doesn't

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Speaker 2: even really live with us full time anymore. So it

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Speaker 2: was really cool to get to spend that time and

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Speaker 2: make memories together.

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Speaker 1: So that's a favorite part. There were obviously challenges.

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Speaker 2: I mean, Ecuador is sort of middle income country, but

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Speaker 2: there's still things with that. It's not you know, like

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Speaker 2: going to London. Certainly in the Galapagos, despite a lot

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Speaker 2: of the water isn't drinkable just because of what it is,

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Speaker 2: and so you have to brush.

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Speaker 1: Your teeth with bottled water.

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Speaker 2: It just adds a layer of complexity, a living out

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Speaker 2: of a suitcase for nine days, and you need to

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Speaker 2: pack relatively lightly because the flights into the islands have

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Speaker 2: strict baggage limits.

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Speaker 1: Not that I don't.

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Speaker 2: Check bags anyway, but you know, there was like you

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Speaker 2: had to be prepared for that Spanish speaking. I mean,

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Speaker 2: obviously we had a tour guide for big chunks of it,

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Speaker 2: but then we're off on our own for at least

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Speaker 2: several hours a day, so you're dealing with that.

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Speaker 1: My kids don't always get along with each.

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Speaker 2: Other, no, no, no, so we're managing that.

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Speaker 1: And the selective eating that we were talking about.

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Speaker 2: Like one of the things that has always made international

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Speaker 2: travel feel doable for me is being able to sort

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Speaker 2: of eat whatever shows up in front of you. And

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Speaker 2: I have several children for that is a big problem

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Speaker 2: for them. For one in particular, though, we wound up

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Speaker 2: packing dozens of Quest protein cookies. So the Quest company

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Speaker 2: makes chocolate chip cookies that are very high protein. I

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Speaker 2: assume they are for people who are on like cheto

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Speaker 2: type diets, but whatever, they have a lot of proteins,

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Speaker 2: so they can fill up a kid who will only

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Speaker 2: eat those cookies and French fries and the apple sauce

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Speaker 2: that you brought with you and chicken tenders in the

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Speaker 2: places that have that.

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Speaker 4: That does sound like it checks off a lot of.

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Speaker 3: New t.

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Speaker 2: It does well. And we've also gotten used to this

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Speaker 2: with restaurants. I mean, we have our places here in

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Speaker 2: our normal life that we can go to and we

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Speaker 2: know what people can eat there. But if a restaurant

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Speaker 2: has any sort of pasta dish on the menu, they

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Speaker 2: can make you plain pasta, right like, they can pull

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Speaker 2: that out and serve that to you, So that's something

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Speaker 2: a child can eat. If the restaurant has any dishes

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Speaker 2: where French fries are aside, they can make that for

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Speaker 2: you too. They can just give you a plate of

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Speaker 2: French fries and charge you whatever they decide to do

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Speaker 2: for it. But you know, if they have like steak

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Speaker 2: freaked on the menu, then you can have fries from that.

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Speaker 3: So yeah, and I remember you said that you actually

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Speaker 3: did do a taste test prior to this trip so

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Speaker 3: that you could pack the right protein bar, because it

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Speaker 3: would not have done for you to just select one

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Speaker 3: and then that he turned out not to like it, and.

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Speaker 2: Then yeah, well, and you had mentioned this, I'm like, oh,

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Speaker 2: I wish he had a protein bar he really liked.

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Speaker 1: And I was like, oh, well, that's an idea.

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Speaker 2: So I took said child to wah Wah, which has

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Speaker 2: a huge selection of various energy bars, protein bars, c

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Speaker 2: And we just purchased a bunch of different kinds and

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Speaker 2: then did it taste test, and the Quest protein cookie

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Speaker 2: is what cleared.

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Speaker 4: The bar amazing.

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Speaker 3: And this episode is not sponsored by Quest, but maybe

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Speaker 3: a future one could be.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Well, and I've picked up on one thing that I'm

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Speaker 2: going to do differently next time, which is I am

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Speaker 2: going to put everyone's name and a little sticky thing

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Speaker 2: on the back of their passports, because with seven passports

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Speaker 2: that all of course look very similar at all United

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Speaker 2: States passports, Who's is who? So when you are doing

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Speaker 2: your boarding pass like, you're hunting through the seven and

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Speaker 2: I would put them in age order, but then our

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Speaker 2: boarding passes wouldn't be an age order, so I'm like

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Speaker 2: trying to pull the fourth one out first and sticking

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Speaker 2: that out there. So I am just going to put

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Speaker 2: everyone's name on the back of it and that will

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Speaker 2: make it easier.

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Speaker 4: Oh my gosh.

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Speaker 3: Well that's a good hack, I mean, good thing to

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Speaker 3: think about. It sounds like also just in general, getting

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Speaker 3: through various checkpoints was hard. Any other pro tips there,

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Speaker 3: like any I don't know, global entry or like sneaky ways,

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Speaker 3: not sneaky but official ways to avoid some of the

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Speaker 3: waiting that's inevitable when you're going on a trip like that.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know that there is. I mean, global

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Speaker 2: entry is fine, but then you have to get it

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Speaker 2: for everyone, like tsa pre check. Your kids can go

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Speaker 2: in on yours, but that's not the case with global entries.

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Speaker 2: So but that actually wasn't that bad. We didn't have

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Speaker 2: terrible in the United States. We did not have issues

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Speaker 2: with clearing customs. It was very quick. But that your

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Speaker 2: global entry like for the US, doesn't help you in

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Speaker 2: Ecuador or the Galapagos. They have their own systems.

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Speaker 4: So yeah, got it?

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Speaker 3: Okay, Well, good to know, all right, anything else any

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Speaker 3: other wisdom to impart? Do you think you'll do the

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Speaker 3: same thing next year and kind of schedule a few

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Speaker 3: months out, or are you thinking about a longer runway.

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Speaker 2: Well, we actually, coming out of this experience, did decide

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Speaker 2: to do a big trip over next Christmas, and I

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Speaker 2: am happy to report that the actual lodging for that

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Speaker 2: is booked.

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry to be vague here.

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Speaker 2: I'm always superstitious about sharing where we're going before we're going,

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Speaker 2: but it's in another bucket list destination. I knew this

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Speaker 2: particular place would book up ahead of time, so we

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Speaker 2: did book it. Now we can't even book flights yet.

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Speaker 2: Flights open eleven months ahead of time, so we will

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Speaker 2: wait till February to book.

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Speaker 1: Those, but then we will.

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Speaker 2: And I really love the idea that this is set,

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Speaker 2: like I'm not going to be scrambling in October to

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Speaker 2: figure out what we're doing and feeling like I might

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Speaker 2: miss out on, you know, making some memories with my

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Speaker 2: kids because I can't get a booking places that I

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Speaker 2: want to go one hundred percent.

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Speaker 3: And I especially feel like the older I get, the

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Speaker 3: more I'm into refundable, book really really far in advance,

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Speaker 3: and then also try to book refundable as I just

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Speaker 3: have to move a trip that we're big trip that

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Speaker 3: we're planning over the summer. But since I booked everything refundable, thankfully,

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Speaker 3: there's still long enough runway that we can make it

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Speaker 3: all happen.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, well I can't move Christmas, so that is what

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Speaker 1: it is.

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Speaker 4: No, you can't move Christmas. You can't. Well you could

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Speaker 4: pull all of your kids out of school, but I

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Speaker 4: don't think that would fly well with the colleges.

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Speaker 2: So yeah, we have to go then. So I mean,

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Speaker 2: it doesn't really matter so much that I it's not

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Speaker 2: fully refundable.

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Speaker 1: What it is.

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Speaker 4: What it is.

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Speaker 1: So anyway, that's life updates.

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Speaker 2: Now we pivoting to the life skills portion of this episode.

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Speaker 2: So yeah, our Patroon community member mentioned doing many classes

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Speaker 2: like with her sort of middle school aged children on

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Speaker 2: various life skills, and we both loved this idea. We're like, ooh,

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Speaker 2: there's so many things that kids just don't know, and

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Speaker 2: it's life knowledge that you learn. Over one of my

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Speaker 2: children needed to mail something and it occurred to us

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Speaker 2: that like, oh, yes, our children don't mail things, Like

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Speaker 2: this is a whole new universe of like where do

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Speaker 2: you buy stamps? Like what do you do without going Maile, like,

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Speaker 2: where does that go? And this was not something we'd

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Speaker 2: really covered before because we don't use the mail all

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Speaker 2: that often ourselves, so why would the kids ever have

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Speaker 2: used it?

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Speaker 1: But it is a life skill.

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Speaker 2: So we made a list of sort of the various

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Speaker 2: life skills that we would probably do tutorials with Sarah.

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Speaker 1: Cooking.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, so cooking, we're going to talk about our own

431
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Speaker 3: personal experiences and then what we're doing with our kids, right, Yes,

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Speaker 3: that's why we wanted to structure it. So for me,

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Speaker 3: I'm gonna be honest and say that my mother tried

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Speaker 3: to teach me cooking.

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Speaker 4: I think she tried.

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Speaker 3: She definitely taught me some baking, and I think I

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Speaker 3: absorbed some cooking from biasmosis, but I didn't really do

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Speaker 3: any formal learning until I had to. Necessity took over,

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Speaker 3: and I think all I cooked the first year of

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Speaker 3: cooking was like casadillas and the George Foreman grille.

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Speaker 4: But quickly that got old.

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Speaker 3: And I basically taught myself by reading magazines and actually

443
00:20:36,560 --> 00:20:38,920
Speaker 3: during residency, I decided to cook every recipe and a

444
00:20:38,960 --> 00:20:41,680
Speaker 3: Martha Stewart cookbook, and that actually taught me a ton

445
00:20:41,720 --> 00:20:44,239
Speaker 3: because what you don't realize is that you will learn

446
00:20:44,320 --> 00:20:46,480
Speaker 3: certain techniques and then you'll skip every recipe that doesn't

447
00:20:46,520 --> 00:20:49,959
Speaker 3: use the techniques you don't know. And by forcing yourself

448
00:20:50,000 --> 00:20:52,640
Speaker 3: to actually do every recipe in a cookbook just because

449
00:20:52,640 --> 00:20:55,080
Speaker 3: it's there, you're like, actually, all of this is doable,

450
00:20:55,200 --> 00:20:58,359
Speaker 3: and I don't have to skip steak just because steak

451
00:20:58,400 --> 00:20:59,719
Speaker 3: was intimidating or something like that.

452
00:20:59,800 --> 00:21:02,240
Speaker 4: So that's how it played out for me.

453
00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:05,800
Speaker 3: With the kids, they've been a little bit more interested,

454
00:21:05,880 --> 00:21:08,480
Speaker 3: I think than I was growing up. And actually one

455
00:21:08,480 --> 00:21:10,040
Speaker 3: of my kids did a day didn't know it was

456
00:21:10,040 --> 00:21:12,080
Speaker 3: like an overnight camp, and they offered a cooking track,

457
00:21:12,119 --> 00:21:14,160
Speaker 3: and because their friend was doing it, they did it too,

458
00:21:14,280 --> 00:21:16,919
Speaker 3: so that was awesome, So.

459
00:21:16,800 --> 00:21:17,600
Speaker 4: That was bonus.

460
00:21:17,720 --> 00:21:20,480
Speaker 3: And then I mean, I'll say just Cameron in particular

461
00:21:20,640 --> 00:21:24,040
Speaker 3: has just kind of enjoyed watching various cooking and he

462
00:21:24,080 --> 00:21:26,159
Speaker 3: also wants to eat certain things at certain times and

463
00:21:26,200 --> 00:21:28,880
Speaker 3: has realized like, I may not feel like making pancakes

464
00:21:28,920 --> 00:21:31,280
Speaker 3: on Sunday morning, but yes, you can learn to make

465
00:21:31,320 --> 00:21:33,760
Speaker 3: them yourself. So he's actually become kind of like king

466
00:21:33,760 --> 00:21:38,920
Speaker 3: of breakfast items. So yeah, I think we're doing okay there.

467
00:21:39,359 --> 00:21:41,560
Speaker 3: I don't know that we have like a formal curriculum.

468
00:21:41,760 --> 00:21:45,080
Speaker 3: I will say meal kits are a really good way

469
00:21:45,560 --> 00:21:49,280
Speaker 3: to I don't know, almost gamify cooking for kids because

470
00:21:49,280 --> 00:21:51,880
Speaker 3: everything's together and the instructions are there, and it's never

471
00:21:52,320 --> 00:21:54,800
Speaker 3: that advanced techniques because often these meal kits are catering

472
00:21:54,840 --> 00:21:57,320
Speaker 3: to people who are not real chefs.

473
00:21:57,359 --> 00:21:59,360
Speaker 4: And so I have let my.

474
00:21:59,400 --> 00:22:01,639
Speaker 3: Kids take over a meal kid every once in a

475
00:22:01,640 --> 00:22:03,360
Speaker 3: while and they really enjoy that. So I think that's

476
00:22:03,359 --> 00:22:04,520
Speaker 3: been a good learning experience.

477
00:22:04,960 --> 00:22:06,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think the impetus for my kids is often

478
00:22:07,000 --> 00:22:10,280
Speaker 2: making something that they want to eat, and it's clearly

479
00:22:10,320 --> 00:22:12,119
Speaker 2: not going to fly to ask anyone to make it

480
00:22:12,160 --> 00:22:14,399
Speaker 2: for you at that particular time of day, Like you

481
00:22:14,400 --> 00:22:16,119
Speaker 2: want an egg sandwich in the middle of the afternoon,

482
00:22:16,200 --> 00:22:19,840
Speaker 2: yet you're on your own for that. So they all

483
00:22:19,920 --> 00:22:21,920
Speaker 2: learned to make the sort of simple things that they

484
00:22:21,920 --> 00:22:23,919
Speaker 2: want to eat, whether it's mac and cheese or make

485
00:22:23,960 --> 00:22:28,000
Speaker 2: your own pizza and egg sandwich pasta. Ruth likes to bake,

486
00:22:28,080 --> 00:22:30,440
Speaker 2: which is wonderful because then we are all the happy

487
00:22:30,640 --> 00:22:34,119
Speaker 2: recipients of oh, there's fresh chocolate chip cookies that just

488
00:22:34,160 --> 00:22:35,040
Speaker 2: magically appeared.

489
00:22:35,520 --> 00:22:38,160
Speaker 1: So that is a big win. I love that.

490
00:22:38,480 --> 00:22:42,159
Speaker 2: I got to say My cooking learning experience was this

491
00:22:42,280 --> 00:22:45,240
Speaker 2: summer after my freshman year of college. I had an

492
00:22:45,240 --> 00:22:48,040
Speaker 2: internship in Washington, DC, and I shared an apartment with

493
00:22:48,080 --> 00:22:52,120
Speaker 2: a couple other people. And because of that, you're an apartment,

494
00:22:52,160 --> 00:22:55,800
Speaker 2: you kind of have to cook, and so I slowly

495
00:22:55,880 --> 00:22:57,399
Speaker 2: learned how to do things. That's when I first like

496
00:22:57,440 --> 00:22:59,720
Speaker 2: bought myself a pan and learned how to cook with

497
00:22:59,720 --> 00:23:03,440
Speaker 2: a salt and go grocery shopping and all that. So, yeah,

498
00:23:03,440 --> 00:23:06,040
Speaker 2: I was pretty much by necessity, but I think that's

499
00:23:06,040 --> 00:23:06,919
Speaker 2: what a lot of it is.

500
00:23:07,680 --> 00:23:08,560
Speaker 4: Yeah, totally.

501
00:23:08,960 --> 00:23:10,440
Speaker 1: All right, Well we're going to take one more quick

502
00:23:10,440 --> 00:23:11,920
Speaker 1: ad break and then we'll be back with a few

503
00:23:11,920 --> 00:23:27,480
Speaker 1: more life skills. So next up is laundry. Sarah, do

504
00:23:27,520 --> 00:23:29,600
Speaker 1: you remember when you first started doing laundry for yourself?

505
00:23:30,359 --> 00:23:33,199
Speaker 3: I just know I definitely did my own laundry starting

506
00:23:33,240 --> 00:23:36,200
Speaker 3: in whatever agreed when I just used to get impatient

507
00:23:36,200 --> 00:23:37,960
Speaker 3: for certain pieces to come out of the laundry. My

508
00:23:38,000 --> 00:23:40,800
Speaker 3: mom was more of like a weekly laundry person. She

509
00:23:40,840 --> 00:23:42,320
Speaker 3: would do a lot of it at once. But you know,

510
00:23:42,720 --> 00:23:44,920
Speaker 3: maybe on Thursday you were dying to wear that outfit

511
00:23:44,960 --> 00:23:47,119
Speaker 3: that you were on Sunday or something like that, and

512
00:23:47,160 --> 00:23:49,240
Speaker 3: so I quickly learned, okay, well, if I want to

513
00:23:49,240 --> 00:23:51,400
Speaker 3: wear what I want to wear, I better learn to.

514
00:23:51,359 --> 00:23:52,160
Speaker 4: Do it myself.

515
00:23:52,200 --> 00:23:54,880
Speaker 3: So there was a couple of demos done and then

516
00:23:55,080 --> 00:23:56,720
Speaker 3: you know, I kind of picked it up from there.

517
00:23:57,119 --> 00:24:00,000
Speaker 3: I don't think I learned a lot of very official techniques,

518
00:24:00,040 --> 00:24:02,800
Speaker 3: and we weren't precious about it. And that still stands today,

519
00:24:03,359 --> 00:24:05,520
Speaker 3: and honestly, the same thing has happened with my kids.

520
00:24:05,560 --> 00:24:07,679
Speaker 3: It's the kids that want to wear certain things that

521
00:24:07,800 --> 00:24:11,280
Speaker 3: have taken the ownership to do laundry on occasion. They

522
00:24:11,320 --> 00:24:13,760
Speaker 3: don't do it often, but they do know how to

523
00:24:13,800 --> 00:24:17,040
Speaker 3: do it because we've demoed it a couple times when

524
00:24:17,040 --> 00:24:19,280
Speaker 3: it's like, oh, you want that shirt, Okay, here's how

525
00:24:19,320 --> 00:24:20,800
Speaker 3: to put a load in, here's how to turn the

526
00:24:20,880 --> 00:24:23,080
Speaker 3: dryer on, and then at least now.

527
00:24:22,960 --> 00:24:24,880
Speaker 4: They have that skill set. Yeah.

528
00:24:25,280 --> 00:24:28,679
Speaker 2: So two of my older kids went to camps that

529
00:24:28,720 --> 00:24:31,440
Speaker 2: were in academic dorms and for enough time, like three

530
00:24:31,480 --> 00:24:33,959
Speaker 2: weeks or four weeks, that you were going to have

531
00:24:33,960 --> 00:24:35,560
Speaker 2: to do laundry in the course of it. And so

532
00:24:35,680 --> 00:24:38,440
Speaker 2: that's how both of them picked it up. And then

533
00:24:39,760 --> 00:24:42,240
Speaker 2: save as you if you want clothes not on the

534
00:24:42,280 --> 00:24:45,439
Speaker 2: household laundry cycle. That is up to you, but I

535
00:24:45,440 --> 00:24:48,359
Speaker 2: think she likes having her full array of clothing available.

536
00:24:48,359 --> 00:24:50,760
Speaker 2: Like when we did get back from the Galapagos, she

537
00:24:50,920 --> 00:24:55,200
Speaker 2: claimed the washer first. Like when we all showed up

538
00:24:55,960 --> 00:24:58,840
Speaker 2: off the plane, she was in the washer first to

539
00:24:58,840 --> 00:24:59,440
Speaker 2: get her stuff.

540
00:24:59,480 --> 00:25:01,080
Speaker 1: I was like, I got it. Do Jaspers too, because

541
00:25:01,119 --> 00:25:02,160
Speaker 1: he's got to leave tomorrow.

542
00:25:02,200 --> 00:25:04,800
Speaker 2: But we managed to get both of them done that night,

543
00:25:04,840 --> 00:25:08,960
Speaker 2: and then everybody else was a slightly less quick timeline.

544
00:25:09,520 --> 00:25:12,040
Speaker 4: But that's awesome. I love that she just like fully

545
00:25:12,080 --> 00:25:12,520
Speaker 4: owns it.

546
00:25:13,160 --> 00:25:13,720
Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly.

547
00:25:13,760 --> 00:25:15,320
Speaker 2: Well, we'll see when the little guys get into it,

548
00:25:15,359 --> 00:25:17,919
Speaker 2: but probably I think by mid teens is when you

549
00:25:17,920 --> 00:25:19,720
Speaker 2: know it's a good time to have a tutorial.

550
00:25:19,920 --> 00:25:21,280
Speaker 1: And then usually the kids probably.

551
00:25:21,000 --> 00:25:22,359
Speaker 2: Aren't going to do it on their own unless they

552
00:25:22,400 --> 00:25:24,280
Speaker 2: have that real need like going away.

553
00:25:25,080 --> 00:25:26,960
Speaker 4: Yeah, all right.

554
00:25:27,400 --> 00:25:31,679
Speaker 3: Financial this is a tougher category, and I don't know

555
00:25:31,720 --> 00:25:33,159
Speaker 3: that we're doing that awesome.

556
00:25:33,200 --> 00:25:34,800
Speaker 4: And I don't know that I was trained in many

557
00:25:34,920 --> 00:25:35,440
Speaker 4: formal ways.

558
00:25:35,480 --> 00:25:38,280
Speaker 3: I mean, honestly, I think I could have benefited from

559
00:25:38,480 --> 00:25:41,240
Speaker 3: a little discussion of how to budget. My parents themselves

560
00:25:41,280 --> 00:25:43,919
Speaker 3: were not I mean, they had their own systems that

561
00:25:43,960 --> 00:25:45,720
Speaker 3: were great, but I don't feel like they were super

562
00:25:45,760 --> 00:25:48,040
Speaker 3: transparent about how they did things, and I might have

563
00:25:48,520 --> 00:25:52,560
Speaker 3: benefited from learning from what they were doing. And I

564
00:25:52,600 --> 00:25:55,119
Speaker 3: don't know if we're doing as great a job in

565
00:25:55,640 --> 00:25:58,160
Speaker 3: having the kids understand what we're doing. I mean, we've

566
00:25:58,160 --> 00:26:00,800
Speaker 3: talked about allowances, and we do have them in our household,

567
00:26:00,840 --> 00:26:03,199
Speaker 3: but kind of like for fun and extra money. And

568
00:26:03,240 --> 00:26:06,720
Speaker 3: I don't actually know how much it's teaching other than

569
00:26:07,920 --> 00:26:10,359
Speaker 3: to maybe save up short term for something bigger, to

570
00:26:10,400 --> 00:26:12,760
Speaker 3: save up multiple weeks, and that is a valuable skill.

571
00:26:12,960 --> 00:26:15,439
Speaker 3: But I do think as the years go by, and

572
00:26:15,600 --> 00:26:17,720
Speaker 3: as the kids maybe earn more money on their own,

573
00:26:17,760 --> 00:26:20,760
Speaker 3: et cetera, I will want to hopefully at least demo

574
00:26:20,840 --> 00:26:22,879
Speaker 3: how to set up like a real budget on a

575
00:26:22,920 --> 00:26:25,919
Speaker 3: spreadsheet or using an app, and show them kind of

576
00:26:25,920 --> 00:26:28,040
Speaker 3: what we do both with our short term tracking and

577
00:26:28,080 --> 00:26:30,359
Speaker 3: our long term tracking, so they can figure out if

578
00:26:30,400 --> 00:26:33,000
Speaker 3: some of those methods might be helpful for them, because

579
00:26:33,040 --> 00:26:35,360
Speaker 3: I think especially the concept. I don't think I understood

580
00:26:35,359 --> 00:26:43,919
Speaker 3: even what a budget was until really old last week. No,

581
00:26:44,080 --> 00:26:46,560
Speaker 3: like post residency kind of, I don't remember being very

582
00:26:46,560 --> 00:26:47,840
Speaker 3: thoughtful about allocating.

583
00:26:48,280 --> 00:26:49,360
Speaker 4: I mean, I guess it worked out.

584
00:26:49,400 --> 00:26:52,159
Speaker 3: We did a lot of really fun things, and I

585
00:26:52,359 --> 00:26:55,439
Speaker 3: in particular, Josh was better about like I think even

586
00:26:55,560 --> 00:26:57,920
Speaker 3: in residency, he had a certain percentage going to long

587
00:26:57,960 --> 00:26:59,520
Speaker 3: term savings, and I was like, we're not earning very

588
00:26:59,600 --> 00:27:01,639
Speaker 3: much money, so I think I'll just make sure we

589
00:27:01,640 --> 00:27:03,520
Speaker 3: don't go negative and that'll be fine.

590
00:27:03,920 --> 00:27:05,320
Speaker 4: And in some ways no.

591
00:27:05,320 --> 00:27:05,960
Speaker 1: Regrets on that.

592
00:27:07,480 --> 00:27:10,520
Speaker 3: You're not earning that much money. So I mean, yeah,

593
00:27:10,560 --> 00:27:11,800
Speaker 3: you can't get those years back.

594
00:27:12,040 --> 00:27:14,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, but that's okay. You had fun, I mean.

595
00:27:15,320 --> 00:27:19,560
Speaker 2: And there are certain cases too, where like your income

596
00:27:19,640 --> 00:27:23,560
Speaker 2: is artificially low for a few years versus what it

597
00:27:23,600 --> 00:27:25,719
Speaker 2: will be later, and I think medicine is a prime

598
00:27:25,800 --> 00:27:28,000
Speaker 2: example of that. And if it's going to be painful

599
00:27:28,440 --> 00:27:30,879
Speaker 2: to try to save money in the very early years,

600
00:27:31,480 --> 00:27:34,440
Speaker 2: like the doubling, I think I've done this calculation here before.

601
00:27:34,440 --> 00:27:36,960
Speaker 2: If you're getting eight percent interest in the stock market,

602
00:27:37,000 --> 00:27:40,239
Speaker 2: like eight percent returns, the doubling is nine years, So

603
00:27:41,160 --> 00:27:42,720
Speaker 2: if you know you will be able to put away

604
00:27:42,720 --> 00:27:47,400
Speaker 2: twice as much in nine years, then you are okay, right.

605
00:27:47,480 --> 00:27:49,400
Speaker 3: And especially you can do the mental math of like, well,

606
00:27:49,400 --> 00:27:53,520
Speaker 3: twice as much feel like very little to me versus

607
00:27:53,520 --> 00:27:55,439
Speaker 3: it feeling like a lot to me. Now right, Like

608
00:27:55,560 --> 00:27:58,320
Speaker 3: it's like what percentage and if it's like such a low,

609
00:27:58,400 --> 00:28:01,399
Speaker 3: laughably low percentage then and it's like a high significant

610
00:28:01,400 --> 00:28:03,800
Speaker 3: percentage now that it makes sense. And actually one thing

611
00:28:03,840 --> 00:28:05,399
Speaker 3: that might be fun to do is for me to

612
00:28:05,480 --> 00:28:08,000
Speaker 3: somehow look back and figure out, Okay, if Josh was

613
00:28:08,040 --> 00:28:11,480
Speaker 3: putting away five percent of his residency earnings back then,

614
00:28:11,920 --> 00:28:14,600
Speaker 3: what is that now? Like what has that earned? And like,

615
00:28:14,680 --> 00:28:17,080
Speaker 3: looking back, did that make sense? Because I actually might

616
00:28:17,160 --> 00:28:19,240
Speaker 3: argue that it maybe we should have taken one more

617
00:28:19,280 --> 00:28:20,320
Speaker 3: really fun trips.

618
00:28:21,119 --> 00:28:23,159
Speaker 2: Before you guys had kids and it becomes harder and

619
00:28:23,200 --> 00:28:26,080
Speaker 2: more expensive and all that stuff. Yeah, I okay, don't

620
00:28:26,080 --> 00:28:29,479
Speaker 2: take our budget advice people like unless You're a residence

621
00:28:30,359 --> 00:28:34,679
Speaker 2: is like the worst financial advice show ever. No, I honestly,

622
00:28:35,000 --> 00:28:37,399
Speaker 2: I think the budget thing doesn't help really until the

623
00:28:37,480 --> 00:28:40,720
Speaker 2: kid actually has like living on their own.

624
00:28:41,720 --> 00:28:42,920
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's true.

625
00:28:43,160 --> 00:28:45,520
Speaker 1: Well, I think it's very hard to make it real

626
00:28:45,640 --> 00:28:47,200
Speaker 1: outside of that. I don't know.

627
00:28:47,960 --> 00:28:50,240
Speaker 3: I think I could have even benefited though if my

628
00:28:50,280 --> 00:28:52,520
Speaker 3: parents talked about it during college then when I was

629
00:28:52,560 --> 00:28:56,120
Speaker 3: initially living like on my MDPHD stipend after that, then

630
00:28:56,160 --> 00:28:57,120
Speaker 3: I would have a framework.

631
00:28:57,200 --> 00:28:58,440
Speaker 4: But I didn't have anywhere to start.

632
00:28:58,640 --> 00:29:02,240
Speaker 2: Yeah, but I mean, Sarah, I had a very low

633
00:29:03,000 --> 00:29:06,280
Speaker 2: salary for my year long internship at USA Today coming

634
00:29:06,280 --> 00:29:08,480
Speaker 2: out of college, it was just intuitive to me, like,

635
00:29:08,560 --> 00:29:11,080
Speaker 2: this is what I should spend on housing, this is

636
00:29:11,120 --> 00:29:14,680
Speaker 2: what I should spend on transportation, this is the space

637
00:29:14,720 --> 00:29:17,920
Speaker 2: I have. I will not go over it. I will

638
00:29:17,920 --> 00:29:19,680
Speaker 2: freelance on the side to make more money, and I

639
00:29:19,720 --> 00:29:22,959
Speaker 2: will save that. Like, I don't know it just nobody

640
00:29:22,960 --> 00:29:23,400
Speaker 2: told me that.

641
00:29:24,040 --> 00:29:24,440
Speaker 4: I don't know.

642
00:29:24,560 --> 00:29:27,360
Speaker 3: Yeah, you're probably right, there's some instinct that I'm feeling

643
00:29:27,360 --> 00:29:29,200
Speaker 3: like maybe we just naturally figured it out. And also

644
00:29:29,200 --> 00:29:32,000
Speaker 3: when you're when you are so limited, maybe you were

645
00:29:32,040 --> 00:29:34,160
Speaker 3: saving but sort of the object of like I will

646
00:29:34,200 --> 00:29:36,400
Speaker 3: make the pieces fit together and at least some zero

647
00:29:36,520 --> 00:29:38,280
Speaker 3: and also let me figure out how to earn extra,

648
00:29:38,320 --> 00:29:40,120
Speaker 3: which I did in those years. I was like teaching

649
00:29:40,120 --> 00:29:43,840
Speaker 3: for Kaplin whatever you know, et cetera. Then that might

650
00:29:43,920 --> 00:29:46,640
Speaker 3: make more sense than really thinking very thoughtfully how much

651
00:29:46,680 --> 00:29:48,760
Speaker 3: do I want to save, because maybe the answer is

652
00:29:49,240 --> 00:29:50,360
Speaker 3: we're not in that phase yet.

653
00:29:50,480 --> 00:29:53,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, although if you are in that phase, or you know,

654
00:29:53,280 --> 00:29:55,640
Speaker 2: even early on with a kid making normalizing it, that

655
00:29:55,680 --> 00:29:59,520
Speaker 2: one might invest so the kid doesn't have some irrational

656
00:29:59,560 --> 00:30:02,840
Speaker 2: fear of like putting money in the stock market that

657
00:30:03,880 --> 00:30:06,320
Speaker 2: like you could talk about, well, this is how people

658
00:30:07,000 --> 00:30:10,040
Speaker 2: do invest for the future, and the idea that money

659
00:30:10,080 --> 00:30:13,320
Speaker 2: can grow when it is invested in, and that we

660
00:30:13,400 --> 00:30:15,840
Speaker 2: haven't done allowances and we haven't done things like that.

661
00:30:15,880 --> 00:30:20,200
Speaker 2: But all my kids are set up with investment accounts,

662
00:30:20,720 --> 00:30:23,000
Speaker 2: so they can in fact do that.

663
00:30:23,640 --> 00:30:26,760
Speaker 3: Actually, that used to great discussions about Like one of

664
00:30:26,760 --> 00:30:28,280
Speaker 3: my kids said something like, oh, is that going to

665
00:30:28,320 --> 00:30:30,280
Speaker 3: blow up? And we're like, that is not the point,

666
00:30:30,360 --> 00:30:33,360
Speaker 3: Like they wanted a meme stock and we're like that, No,

667
00:30:33,560 --> 00:30:34,320
Speaker 3: if they're young.

668
00:30:34,160 --> 00:30:37,000
Speaker 2: They can see that right like that because there's no

669
00:30:37,120 --> 00:30:40,000
Speaker 2: real consequence. They're not going to lose their retirement over it,

670
00:30:40,600 --> 00:30:42,680
Speaker 2: and so then they can kind of get a sense

671
00:30:42,720 --> 00:30:47,920
Speaker 2: of what it's like to invest and to choose what

672
00:30:48,040 --> 00:30:50,200
Speaker 2: to invest in or to make sort of broad decisions.

673
00:30:50,200 --> 00:30:53,240
Speaker 2: Their personalities come out. Some of my kids are aggressively

674
00:30:53,320 --> 00:30:58,040
Speaker 2: invested in potentially high performing but potentially losing individual secks,

675
00:30:58,080 --> 00:31:00,040
Speaker 2: and others are not.

676
00:31:02,360 --> 00:31:03,080
Speaker 4: Totally get it.

677
00:31:03,840 --> 00:31:07,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, maybe one or two more here, Sarah, how about health, Like,

678
00:31:08,000 --> 00:31:09,920
Speaker 2: you know, how would you talk especially you know your

679
00:31:09,920 --> 00:31:12,360
Speaker 2: physician perspective and you have a ton of teenage patients.

680
00:31:12,880 --> 00:31:13,960
Speaker 1: How do people manage this?

681
00:31:14,080 --> 00:31:14,320
Speaker 4: Well?

682
00:31:15,080 --> 00:31:17,000
Speaker 3: Hmm, I mean, I think the one thing you can

683
00:31:17,040 --> 00:31:18,920
Speaker 3: do that's valuable is to let your kid talk in

684
00:31:18,960 --> 00:31:23,240
Speaker 3: the appointments. Sometimes, you know, just from a physicists perpective,

685
00:31:23,280 --> 00:31:24,600
Speaker 3: you get in there and like the parent's the only

686
00:31:24,640 --> 00:31:26,400
Speaker 3: one saying anything, and it's like, wait a second, this

687
00:31:26,480 --> 00:31:28,960
Speaker 3: is a fifteen year old, Like let them tell me

688
00:31:29,000 --> 00:31:31,000
Speaker 3: about what they're doing with their diabetes, Like who's even

689
00:31:31,080 --> 00:31:34,280
Speaker 3: doing it? Like there's different conditions where the management might

690
00:31:34,360 --> 00:31:36,360
Speaker 3: kind of hand off at some point. It's better for

691
00:31:36,400 --> 00:31:38,520
Speaker 3: that handoff not to be like from zero percent to

692
00:31:38,560 --> 00:31:40,720
Speaker 3: one hundred percent the minute they leave for college. So

693
00:31:41,280 --> 00:31:43,680
Speaker 3: I think making sure kids know why they're at appointments

694
00:31:43,720 --> 00:31:46,320
Speaker 3: and encouraging them to be vocal and ask questions and

695
00:31:46,400 --> 00:31:49,440
Speaker 3: understand what's going on. And then there's a flip side

696
00:31:49,440 --> 00:31:51,240
Speaker 3: of that, which is that if there's like a medicine

697
00:31:51,280 --> 00:31:53,560
Speaker 3: your kid must get and it's life or death or

698
00:31:53,560 --> 00:31:56,600
Speaker 3: it's just very important. I am actually pro the parent

699
00:31:56,640 --> 00:31:59,600
Speaker 3: continuing to oversee that as long as they possibly can,

700
00:32:00,080 --> 00:32:03,440
Speaker 3: because I've just seen too many horror stories where it's like, oh,

701
00:32:03,480 --> 00:32:05,719
Speaker 3: they were supposed to be getting that and like then

702
00:32:05,760 --> 00:32:08,480
Speaker 3: they built up six months supply and it's like, I

703
00:32:08,480 --> 00:32:08,880
Speaker 3: don't know.

704
00:32:09,520 --> 00:32:10,520
Speaker 4: In something that is.

705
00:32:10,520 --> 00:32:15,720
Speaker 3: As safety specific as like diabetes. Our analogy we like

706
00:32:15,760 --> 00:32:17,560
Speaker 3: to use is like, well, would you let a thirteen

707
00:32:17,640 --> 00:32:20,120
Speaker 3: year old drive on the highway? They probably could, They

708
00:32:20,160 --> 00:32:22,800
Speaker 3: probably have all the mechanics, they would get the GISTs,

709
00:32:22,800 --> 00:32:23,960
Speaker 3: but like you still wouldn't.

710
00:32:23,640 --> 00:32:26,840
Speaker 4: Want them doing it. So sometimes there are scenarios where

711
00:32:26,840 --> 00:32:28,520
Speaker 4: the supervision makes sense.

712
00:32:29,240 --> 00:32:33,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, although you can't write I mean once they're like eighteen, right,

713
00:32:33,840 --> 00:32:37,600
Speaker 2: I mean, they can sign forms giving you healthcare advisory rights,

714
00:32:37,640 --> 00:32:40,480
Speaker 2: but it's still like you actually can't do a lot

715
00:32:40,560 --> 00:32:42,000
Speaker 2: of the medical stuff for them at that point.

716
00:32:42,080 --> 00:32:42,440
Speaker 1: Correct.

717
00:32:42,480 --> 00:32:44,960
Speaker 3: So it's good for them to again, like you're right,

718
00:32:45,000 --> 00:32:49,720
Speaker 3: gradated independence within reason, and for them to have awareness

719
00:32:49,760 --> 00:32:52,280
Speaker 3: of what's going on at every stage, even when they're younger.

720
00:32:52,480 --> 00:32:56,640
Speaker 2: Well, here's a life skill, swallowing pills. Yeah, did you

721
00:32:56,640 --> 00:32:57,440
Speaker 2: teach that at all?

722
00:32:57,520 --> 00:32:57,960
Speaker 1: Or did you?

723
00:32:58,960 --> 00:32:59,240
Speaker 4: Yes?

724
00:32:59,320 --> 00:33:02,000
Speaker 3: I mean we did the thing with the like red hot,

725
00:33:02,280 --> 00:33:06,040
Speaker 3: I don't know whatever, yeah, with one kid, and then

726
00:33:06,040 --> 00:33:07,920
Speaker 3: the other kid was just like, oh, I don't want

727
00:33:07,960 --> 00:33:10,080
Speaker 3: to swallow that gross tasting stuff anymore and just did it.

728
00:33:10,440 --> 00:33:13,120
Speaker 3: So we have two out of three pill swallowers now,

729
00:33:13,160 --> 00:33:14,000
Speaker 3: so that's exciting.

730
00:33:14,680 --> 00:33:15,400
Speaker 1: That is exciting.

731
00:33:15,440 --> 00:33:19,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's good to a life skill for sure, But

732
00:33:19,360 --> 00:33:21,239
Speaker 2: as the kid goes off on their own, like if

733
00:33:21,240 --> 00:33:22,960
Speaker 2: they are going to be managing like the health service

734
00:33:22,960 --> 00:33:26,680
Speaker 2: at college or something like picking up a prescription, right,

735
00:33:27,000 --> 00:33:31,440
Speaker 2: that is its own life skill that it's not automatic.

736
00:33:32,440 --> 00:33:34,400
Speaker 4: Yeah, and you do have to talk them through it.

737
00:33:34,960 --> 00:33:37,440
Speaker 3: Although now there's a lot of online solutions for that,

738
00:33:37,520 --> 00:33:40,560
Speaker 3: so maybe maybe jen Alpha will be like more comfortable

739
00:33:40,560 --> 00:33:44,760
Speaker 3: with just getting their scripts on Amazon or whatever whatever.

740
00:33:44,440 --> 00:33:47,280
Speaker 4: Other delivery pharmacy that there is just comes to the.

741
00:33:47,200 --> 00:33:50,640
Speaker 2: Door magically, exactly. Well, we'd love to hear your list

742
00:33:50,720 --> 00:33:53,760
Speaker 2: of life skills. If you are teaching your kids anything

743
00:33:53,800 --> 00:33:56,200
Speaker 2: in particular or something that you feel you didn't learn

744
00:33:56,320 --> 00:33:59,719
Speaker 2: until much later than perhaps you should have, we'd love

745
00:33:59,760 --> 00:34:01,440
Speaker 2: to hear what those are. Not just thinking I was

746
00:34:01,440 --> 00:34:03,360
Speaker 2: starting to make a list, like putting gas in a car.

747
00:34:03,680 --> 00:34:08,480
Speaker 2: I mean that's one, getting on a train, taking a subway.

748
00:34:08,719 --> 00:34:10,640
Speaker 1: Oh my goodness. There's all sorts of skills in life

749
00:34:10,640 --> 00:34:12,600
Speaker 1: that I guess you learn them as you go.

750
00:34:13,000 --> 00:34:15,399
Speaker 3: And it's a reminder that like when you are with

751
00:34:15,520 --> 00:34:17,680
Speaker 3: kids and you're doing these interesting new things, to just

752
00:34:17,760 --> 00:34:21,000
Speaker 3: make sure you bring to light what is actually happening.

753
00:34:21,080 --> 00:34:22,680
Speaker 3: If it's your first time on a train with kids

754
00:34:22,680 --> 00:34:24,280
Speaker 3: and it's a teen or a tween, think to yourself,

755
00:34:24,320 --> 00:34:25,799
Speaker 3: like they might be on their own next time, let's

756
00:34:25,840 --> 00:34:28,719
Speaker 3: at least talk through what is happening versus just kind

757
00:34:28,719 --> 00:34:32,200
Speaker 3: of getting into that oh I've got everything kind of

758
00:34:32,200 --> 00:34:34,279
Speaker 3: a mode and treating them like a younger kid. So

759
00:34:34,320 --> 00:34:35,160
Speaker 3: it's a good reminder.

760
00:34:35,280 --> 00:34:39,759
Speaker 2: Yeah, absolutely, all right, Well, moving on to the question part.

761
00:34:40,560 --> 00:34:43,400
Speaker 2: So the question is how much sleep do your kids

762
00:34:43,480 --> 00:34:46,359
Speaker 2: actually get? When do they go to bed and wake up?

763
00:34:46,400 --> 00:34:49,200
Speaker 2: And do you think it is enough? A discussion of

764
00:34:49,239 --> 00:34:52,640
Speaker 2: sort of bedtimes and sleeping for non baby children would

765
00:34:52,680 --> 00:34:54,960
Speaker 2: be helpful. Yeah, So what's yours looking like?

766
00:34:55,000 --> 00:34:55,840
Speaker 1: Sarah?

767
00:34:55,880 --> 00:34:58,279
Speaker 4: And I feel like you're going to have a non

768
00:34:58,320 --> 00:34:59,160
Speaker 4: traditional rant.

769
00:34:59,160 --> 00:35:02,319
Speaker 3: Maybe see what happens in your execonder brant as we

770
00:35:02,400 --> 00:35:06,920
Speaker 3: call them. Yeah, we are really like natural about this,

771
00:35:07,120 --> 00:35:09,000
Speaker 3: Like I don't say, oh, you need ten and a

772
00:35:09,040 --> 00:35:12,920
Speaker 3: half hours or you know, something terrible will happen, But

773
00:35:13,040 --> 00:35:15,239
Speaker 3: in reality, I'm usually going to bed at nine thirty,

774
00:35:15,280 --> 00:35:17,200
Speaker 3: So I'm pretty motivated to make sure Genevieve is like

775
00:35:17,280 --> 00:35:20,719
Speaker 3: on the pipeline towards bedtime by nine o'clock or so,

776
00:35:21,280 --> 00:35:24,799
Speaker 3: and we've found that for her sleeping from around that

777
00:35:24,880 --> 00:35:26,680
Speaker 3: time until the time she has to get up for school,

778
00:35:26,680 --> 00:35:29,720
Speaker 3: which is around six forty five, means she's not terribly grumpy.

779
00:35:29,880 --> 00:35:31,799
Speaker 4: So I guess we've gauged it.

780
00:35:31,800 --> 00:35:34,160
Speaker 3: More in our family is like, is the child insanely

781
00:35:34,200 --> 00:35:36,120
Speaker 3: difficult to wake up or cranky in the morning, and

782
00:35:36,160 --> 00:35:39,080
Speaker 3: if so, do we need to do something about bedtime?

783
00:35:39,920 --> 00:35:43,040
Speaker 3: I would say my teens and tweens sleep between eight

784
00:35:43,160 --> 00:35:46,560
Speaker 3: and nine hours a night most nights, less sometimes when

785
00:35:47,360 --> 00:35:50,000
Speaker 3: like for eighth grade, she might be motivated to stay

786
00:35:50,080 --> 00:35:52,880
Speaker 3: up working on homework and doesn't get that full amount.

787
00:35:52,960 --> 00:35:55,640
Speaker 3: And I think she has learned, just like I have,

788
00:35:55,719 --> 00:35:57,040
Speaker 3: that you can do that every once in a while,

789
00:35:57,080 --> 00:35:59,440
Speaker 3: but you cannot do that all the time without feeling terrible.

790
00:35:59,800 --> 00:36:03,080
Speaker 3: So I think the natural consequences model can help also,

791
00:36:04,080 --> 00:36:07,359
Speaker 3: But we haven't been very micromanagy about it. What about

792
00:36:07,400 --> 00:36:08,239
Speaker 3: you guys?

793
00:36:08,600 --> 00:36:12,839
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, so the one good thing our high

794
00:36:12,840 --> 00:36:15,400
Speaker 2: school moved to a later start. It now moves it

795
00:36:15,440 --> 00:36:18,000
Speaker 2: starts at eight thirty versus seven thirty, which is nice,

796
00:36:18,000 --> 00:36:19,720
Speaker 2: but of course part of that is that the middle

797
00:36:19,719 --> 00:36:23,120
Speaker 2: school moved earlier, so now it's at eight, which is

798
00:36:23,160 --> 00:36:26,440
Speaker 2: better than anything starting at seven thirty, but there's still

799
00:36:27,320 --> 00:36:29,560
Speaker 2: buses take a long time to get there. We drive

800
00:36:29,560 --> 00:36:33,000
Speaker 2: the kids sometimes, but if there's only one adult around,

801
00:36:33,040 --> 00:36:35,160
Speaker 2: it doesn't work really to drive the kids in the morning,

802
00:36:35,160 --> 00:36:35,640
Speaker 2: so they're.

803
00:36:35,480 --> 00:36:35,960
Speaker 1: On the bus.

804
00:36:36,400 --> 00:36:38,640
Speaker 2: So my kids are supposed to be in their rooms

805
00:36:39,120 --> 00:36:42,400
Speaker 2: at eight thirty with no devices. We're supposed to be

806
00:36:42,480 --> 00:36:47,279
Speaker 2: starting Henry's bed process, then with reading and teeth brushies

807
00:36:47,320 --> 00:36:51,880
Speaker 2: and showering a few nights a week, and ideally he

808
00:36:52,040 --> 00:36:54,920
Speaker 2: is asleep by nine point fifteen.

809
00:36:55,080 --> 00:36:57,640
Speaker 1: He still generally needs somebody sitting with him.

810
00:36:57,960 --> 00:37:00,759
Speaker 2: Usually he sort of recognizes when he's getting tired and

811
00:37:00,760 --> 00:37:03,920
Speaker 2: that that's when you come in and sit, because otherwise

812
00:37:04,120 --> 00:37:08,040
Speaker 2: it could take a long time. But anyway, the other kids,

813
00:37:08,080 --> 00:37:10,560
Speaker 2: we turn out the lights are supposed to at ten,

814
00:37:11,400 --> 00:37:16,000
Speaker 2: and then the wake up is either six forty and

815
00:37:16,120 --> 00:37:18,200
Speaker 2: six fifty for the middle schoolers if they are taking

816
00:37:18,200 --> 00:37:21,279
Speaker 2: the bus, it is seven and seven ten if they

817
00:37:21,280 --> 00:37:25,839
Speaker 2: are getting driven, and then the high schooler is seven

818
00:37:26,000 --> 00:37:28,400
Speaker 2: twenty five. Sort of either way, whether it because the

819
00:37:28,440 --> 00:37:32,040
Speaker 2: bus and car, we would leave it about the same time Henry.

820
00:37:32,280 --> 00:37:35,040
Speaker 2: Henry school starts at nine to ten, so the odds

821
00:37:35,040 --> 00:37:37,040
Speaker 2: that he would not be awake by the time school

822
00:37:37,200 --> 00:37:39,080
Speaker 2: was starting and he needed to get ready are low.

823
00:37:40,520 --> 00:37:43,720
Speaker 2: Does this always happen? No, Sarah, this does not always happen,

824
00:37:45,760 --> 00:37:50,200
Speaker 2: And why not? Well, if I am there and enforcing

825
00:37:50,280 --> 00:37:54,239
Speaker 2: things and being very much riding hard on everyone, then

826
00:37:54,280 --> 00:37:57,040
Speaker 2: it will. I sometimes feel like I am the only

827
00:37:57,080 --> 00:37:59,400
Speaker 2: adult in my household who seems to care that this

828
00:37:59,440 --> 00:38:01,359
Speaker 2: is the bed time time that we have all agreed upon,

829
00:38:02,280 --> 00:38:05,840
Speaker 2: which can be frustrating for me. It's even more frustrating

830
00:38:05,880 --> 00:38:08,280
Speaker 2: if I go out for the evening somewhere and come home.

831
00:38:08,560 --> 00:38:12,000
Speaker 1: Past eight thirty and the process has not necessarily started.

832
00:38:12,719 --> 00:38:15,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, that is something that I have to do a

833
00:38:15,680 --> 00:38:21,440
Speaker 2: lot of deep breathing. There's some things that are fine,

834
00:38:21,520 --> 00:38:24,760
Speaker 2: Like I don't mind if my two middle schoolers chat

835
00:38:24,760 --> 00:38:28,000
Speaker 2: with each other in one of their rooms instead of reading,

836
00:38:28,080 --> 00:38:29,640
Speaker 2: Like I think that's probably fine if the two of

837
00:38:29,640 --> 00:38:31,640
Speaker 2: them are hanging out together as long as they're quiet.

838
00:38:32,440 --> 00:38:34,720
Speaker 2: I don't make my high schooler turn the lights off

839
00:38:35,000 --> 00:38:37,720
Speaker 2: because he can manage if he's doing work.

840
00:38:37,600 --> 00:38:39,040
Speaker 1: And he doesn't wait have to wake up as early.

841
00:38:39,160 --> 00:38:42,399
Speaker 2: So Certainly sleeping from ten thirty or eleven to seven

842
00:38:42,480 --> 00:38:45,960
Speaker 2: thirty is not bad at all for a sixteen year old,

843
00:38:46,000 --> 00:38:47,560
Speaker 2: so I'm not so worried about that.

844
00:38:48,280 --> 00:38:50,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, And again, like that's one of those things where

845
00:38:50,120 --> 00:38:52,560
Speaker 3: like micromanaging doesn't totally make sense because they're going to.

846
00:38:52,560 --> 00:38:55,640
Speaker 4: Be doing it entirely on their own pretty soon, and so.

847
00:38:55,680 --> 00:38:58,800
Speaker 3: Better to have sort of a graduated practice and learning

848
00:38:58,840 --> 00:38:59,360
Speaker 3: how to do that.

849
00:38:59,680 --> 00:39:03,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, but this is something I definitely want to work

850
00:39:03,520 --> 00:39:07,280
Speaker 2: more on in this year. I really like Henry's bed

851
00:39:07,520 --> 00:39:11,319
Speaker 2: process to be done by nine fifteen, because then I

852
00:39:11,360 --> 00:39:14,319
Speaker 2: have forty five minutes to read until I go turn

853
00:39:14,360 --> 00:39:17,880
Speaker 2: the lights off. And if I'm waking up at six

854
00:39:18,080 --> 00:39:20,040
Speaker 2: twenty in order to get people up at six forty,

855
00:39:20,520 --> 00:39:23,360
Speaker 2: like I would like to be asleep by ten fifty,

856
00:39:24,280 --> 00:39:29,080
Speaker 2: which means I'm getting myself into bed ten thirty, ten forty.

857
00:39:29,280 --> 00:39:29,520
Speaker 1: Yeah.

858
00:39:29,560 --> 00:39:32,160
Speaker 2: It just it doesn't work to still be putting people

859
00:39:32,640 --> 00:39:34,560
Speaker 2: to bed all the way up until ten and then

860
00:39:34,840 --> 00:39:36,840
Speaker 2: you know, like do I get my fifteen minutes.

861
00:39:36,600 --> 00:39:37,520
Speaker 1: To read here? I don't know.

862
00:39:38,320 --> 00:39:41,719
Speaker 3: And in Henry's case, this is more about like your

863
00:39:42,200 --> 00:39:44,280
Speaker 3: night than it is about his health, because his school

864
00:39:44,320 --> 00:39:47,400
Speaker 3: starts so late, but listeners, that's okay.

865
00:39:47,960 --> 00:39:50,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't want to spend my whole evening.

866
00:39:51,040 --> 00:39:53,279
Speaker 2: To be like I would like to actually get some

867
00:39:53,400 --> 00:39:55,480
Speaker 2: leisure time at the end of this, I mean, come on.

868
00:39:55,960 --> 00:39:57,000
Speaker 4: Yeah. Yeah.

869
00:39:57,120 --> 00:39:59,640
Speaker 2: So I don't know, but everyone is generally sleeping more

870
00:39:59,680 --> 00:40:01,960
Speaker 2: than eight hours, I believe, which is good.

871
00:40:02,280 --> 00:40:05,640
Speaker 1: So yeah, all right, Love of the Week Sarah.

872
00:40:06,480 --> 00:40:08,200
Speaker 3: Well, I was gonna go meta and just say when

873
00:40:08,200 --> 00:40:09,920
Speaker 3: the kids take over a big job and do it well,

874
00:40:09,960 --> 00:40:11,560
Speaker 3: but that's a little vague. So I'm going to actually

875
00:40:11,600 --> 00:40:13,600
Speaker 3: give a shout out to the Lululemon Scuba hoodie I'm

876
00:40:13,600 --> 00:40:16,719
Speaker 3: wearing right now because it's the most basic, basic thing.

877
00:40:16,760 --> 00:40:18,680
Speaker 3: Like I am just outing myself as a basic human

878
00:40:18,719 --> 00:40:20,520
Speaker 3: being by saying that, but like it took me a

879
00:40:20,560 --> 00:40:22,480
Speaker 3: really long time to buy one, and I'm like, oh,

880
00:40:22,760 --> 00:40:24,440
Speaker 3: I get why people love this hoodie.

881
00:40:24,800 --> 00:40:26,400
Speaker 2: So I'm going to actually do a shout out to

882
00:40:26,440 --> 00:40:34,360
Speaker 2: my phone, which is maybe not the.

883
00:40:31,960 --> 00:40:34,439
Speaker 1: Most common thing people do a Love of the Week.

884
00:40:34,480 --> 00:40:37,759
Speaker 2: But if I am stuck sitting in Henry's room waiting

885
00:40:37,800 --> 00:40:39,680
Speaker 2: for him to go to bed, the fact that I

886
00:40:39,680 --> 00:40:44,360
Speaker 2: can scroll or read an ebook is so nice, Like

887
00:40:44,400 --> 00:40:47,680
Speaker 2: this would be complete wasted time otherwise, I don't know

888
00:40:47,719 --> 00:40:50,440
Speaker 2: what I would be doing in the era before a

889
00:40:50,520 --> 00:40:52,759
Speaker 2: screen on my hand, I don't know what would I

890
00:40:52,800 --> 00:40:53,160
Speaker 2: be doing.

891
00:40:53,280 --> 00:40:54,680
Speaker 1: Maybe I would have made him go to bed light

892
00:40:54,880 --> 00:40:57,520
Speaker 1: like maybe I would have. It would have been so painful.

893
00:40:57,520 --> 00:41:00,960
Speaker 2: I would have like actually enforced he could scream and

894
00:41:01,040 --> 00:41:02,080
Speaker 2: learn to go to bed on his own.

895
00:41:03,080 --> 00:41:05,720
Speaker 4: You'd be listening to nineties tunes on your walkman.

896
00:41:05,920 --> 00:41:07,920
Speaker 1: W Walkman. Yeah, We'll I have was sitay there. I'd

897
00:41:07,920 --> 00:41:11,319
Speaker 1: probably fall asleep. All right.

898
00:41:11,360 --> 00:41:13,959
Speaker 2: Well, this has been best of both worlds. We've done

899
00:41:14,000 --> 00:41:17,279
Speaker 2: life updates, Life Skills. We will be back next week

900
00:41:17,280 --> 00:41:18,960
Speaker 2: with more on making work and life fit together.

901
00:41:20,960 --> 00:41:21,800
Speaker 4: Thanks for listening.

902
00:41:22,040 --> 00:41:25,120
Speaker 3: You can find me Sarah at the shoebox dot com

903
00:41:25,280 --> 00:41:29,200
Speaker 3: or at the Underscore Shoebox on Instagram, and you can.

904
00:41:29,080 --> 00:41:33,319
Speaker 1: Find me Laura at Laura vandercam dot com. This has

905
00:41:33,360 --> 00:41:35,560
Speaker 1: been the best of both worlds podcasts.

906
00:41:35,920 --> 00:41:38,720
Speaker 2: Please join us next time for more on making work

907
00:41:38,760 --> 00:41:40,080
Speaker 2: and life work together.