Speaker 1: Are you leaving?
Speaker 2: I you wanna way back home?
Speaker 3: Either way you want to be.
Speaker 2: There, doesn't matter how much baggage you claim and give
Speaker 2: us time and a terminol and gay.
Speaker 3: We want to send you off in style. We want
Speaker 3: to welcome you back home.
Speaker 2: Tell us all about it.
Speaker 3: We scared her? Was it fine? Malborn? Do you need
Speaker 3: to ride? Do you need to ride?
Speaker 1: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 3: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 4: Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?
Speaker 5: Need to ride?
Speaker 6: Do you need.
Speaker 1: With Karen and Chris welcome to Do you need to ride?
Speaker 1: This is Chris Fairbanks.
Speaker 3: And this is Karen Kilgarriff.
Speaker 7: Just because my name is listed first, that in no
Speaker 7: way means I have top billing on this podcast. And
Speaker 7: I just now realize that, and I wanted to just
Speaker 7: say it to you.
Speaker 5: Karen, Chris, thank you, very generous of you. I would
Speaker 5: say you have top billing alphabetically, and you have top billing.
Speaker 5: If we both had to go do a set right.
Speaker 3: Now, which is of course my recurring dream in nightmare
Speaker 3: in COVID.
Speaker 7: Well, I would assume you and I would do some
Speaker 7: sort of a mixed nuts improv duo thing, which is
Speaker 7: something I thought you and I could always do.
Speaker 3: That would be a huge fix for me in reality.
Speaker 5: And then this dream where I keep like kind of
Speaker 5: waking up in the dream to somebody going, oh you out,
Speaker 5: you're on right now, you have to go, And then
Speaker 5: I'm like, I haven't done a set in four year?
Speaker 5: What are you talking about? Why am I booked on
Speaker 5: this show?
Speaker 7: Yeah, that's the dream I have about where I have
Speaker 7: to get off the road because I forgot a math
Speaker 7: class in high school and I have to go back
Speaker 7: to high school.
Speaker 5: Very similar classics, classics? Should we bring our guests on?
Speaker 1: I see what? Are very excited for our guest today? Karen.
Speaker 3: Ladies and gentlemen. You know her.
Speaker 5: She plays clubs and colleges all over the cold of colleges.
Speaker 5: She has I think sixteen podcasts herself. She's a writer,
Speaker 5: she is a comedian, she does it all. She's here
Speaker 5: for us.
Speaker 3: Now. Please welcome Naomi eck Peragan.
Speaker 6: Chris, why were you scared to say my last name?
Speaker 6: A real last minute? Everyone sees through me.
Speaker 7: I am horrified by any series of vowels and consonants.
Speaker 6: Yeah, it's okay, It's really pretty phonetic, except for the
Speaker 6: hard g and.
Speaker 3: Sorry did I get it right or.
Speaker 4: No you didn't, but I knew.
Speaker 6: But it was just so funny because he was preparing
Speaker 6: to do it and this Karen, Okay, he's not going
Speaker 6: to try it. I, as you know, usually I introduced,
Speaker 6: I introduced myself first, and then Karen.
Speaker 7: Then there's a lull where I improv uh. And it's
Speaker 7: always the weakest part of the podcast. Although Karen, I
Speaker 7: don't know. I have told you this, but a lot
Speaker 7: of people have said it's their favorite part.
Speaker 3: And then it's your your improving.
Speaker 7: Yeah, people keep asking about that, but just talking talking,
Speaker 7: I am myself and continually speak and then and then
Speaker 7: ultimately Karen usually does the intros.
Speaker 4: But yes, I would have said Jin.
Speaker 7: At the end of your name. I didn't even need
Speaker 7: to tell you that I want honesty. I want this
Speaker 7: friendship to start with honesty.
Speaker 5: I would have said, Jim do yeah, I think you
Speaker 5: have no choice, so you have no choice about the honest.
Speaker 3: It's so true to see it.
Speaker 4: She's going to make it happen. And I know.
Speaker 6: I say I want honesty, I say I don't want
Speaker 6: debt between us. That's something very important to be with friendship.
Speaker 6: I can't like like I have to pay you back
Speaker 6: or like, if you treat it, I'm treating the next
Speaker 6: time I will remember, I will write it in my calendar.
Speaker 6: I am treating from the I don't want debt between us.
Speaker 1: Well, consider us fiscally in love.
Speaker 5: And actually you have the one up on me because
Speaker 5: we I'm the last person who canceled between the two
Speaker 5: of us. But it was four years ago, so I
Speaker 5: think that it might be the time might be running
Speaker 5: out on the statue of limitations.
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, I think we're totally a reset. I think
Speaker 4: anything before twenty twenty that doesn't count.
Speaker 6: So now we're fresh. Now, you know, until pretty one,
Speaker 6: we're fresh. It's three fresh, and I had no idea.
Speaker 6: You guys had past beef about a cancelation. Should we
Speaker 6: get into this.
Speaker 5: Let's well, all I'll say is Naomi and I'm well.
Speaker 5: We met at the All Jill Comedy Festival in.
Speaker 4: Yep A Lady. It was Lady Times, Old.
Speaker 3: Jane, Old Jill.
Speaker 4: I got my nursery.
Speaker 3: I'm from Stacy.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I know where it is.
Speaker 3: Yeah, sorry, Curious Comedy.
Speaker 4: Yes, yeah, I love that place.
Speaker 3: Everyone's friend Stacy who runs it and is the greatest.
Speaker 5: So Naomi and I were staying at the same bizarre
Speaker 5: uh motel that was in an abandoned office park over
Speaker 5: by the airport. Nobody else was staying there, I think,
Speaker 5: but you and I.
Speaker 6: Yes, absolutely absolutely. Now is that because you and I
Speaker 6: both refuse to share rooms with people?
Speaker 4: I assume so probably.
Speaker 6: I assume they were like, oh, you want to be
Speaker 6: by yourself, You're going to be right by airport.
Speaker 4: How's that?
Speaker 5: How about you go to the Diva motel and go
Speaker 5: stay out there, And we're both like great. And there
Speaker 5: was a ballroom dancing competition in the lobby.
Speaker 3: Remember that?
Speaker 4: And I fully forgot that. That's so true.
Speaker 3: There was a store. Did you look in that store
Speaker 3: with me? Or was there somebody that we went?
Speaker 4: You will shop that on your own, you brave the steward.
Speaker 5: It was like, let's get leantards with fire on them.
Speaker 5: But apparently you weren't. If you weren't in the competition,
Speaker 5: you couldn't actually shop at the store. I think whoever
Speaker 5: went in there with me, it may have been a
Speaker 5: brandy posey type of person like La Girl comic female comic.
Speaker 4: We got kicked out.
Speaker 3: Of the store.
Speaker 5: I mean it was like those people were like this
Speaker 5: isn't a joke, so you can take your tourism elsewhere.
Speaker 5: And I was like, that's kind of perfect.
Speaker 7: For ball Are you pointing at items in the store
Speaker 7: and laughing at them?
Speaker 3: Probably?
Speaker 7: I mean a lot of vendors, if I can call
Speaker 7: them vendors, you can are offended by you pointing and
Speaker 7: laughing at their retail.
Speaker 6: Yeah, there are also exactly I was like, not necessarily vendors.
Speaker 6: I'd call them artisans. Okay, these are artistans. They're making
Speaker 6: these things. I guarantee you ballroom outfits are made by
Speaker 6: hands like.
Speaker 5: Artists, absolately hand threaded, I mean boa like feather boas
Speaker 5: that are sewed around the wrists and neckline.
Speaker 3: I mean, I'm just pulling this out.
Speaker 5: Of what I can remember from Literally this was six
Speaker 5: years was it?
Speaker 6: I was gonna say even longer than six. I was like,
Speaker 6: that's amazing that you have it so fresh. I lived
Speaker 6: in New York back then, so that would have put
Speaker 6: it at least four years ago. If not, I was
Speaker 6: gonna say like seven or eight. But it's also like,
Speaker 6: because I think that was one of my first festivals,
Speaker 6: even like that was the first time I had been
Speaker 6: asked to do something and so can you imagine. I
Speaker 6: really came in hot saying no, I will not be
Speaker 6: sharing a room, and I was like, you should be.
Speaker 4: Happy to be invited.
Speaker 6: But I was like, but this, I'm very particular when
Speaker 6: I sleep away from my home.
Speaker 4: And this is why I don't do festivals.
Speaker 5: It's right, it's not. I'm not here to camp out
Speaker 5: with my girlfriends. I'm fifty. I've done this a bunch
Speaker 5: of times, like I had, I had the fun ones before.
Speaker 5: Now I want to crossword. I want to go to
Speaker 5: sleep exactly when I'm tired. And no, that's not I'm
Speaker 5: not really actually festival material, even though they're my favorite.
Speaker 4: Yeah, Chris, are you an active senior? You strike me
Speaker 4: someone who's having fun out there in the streets.
Speaker 7: I was gonna say, yeah, the last cruise ship festival
Speaker 7: I did, which lets you know I'm a senior.
Speaker 4: We shared the smallest room.
Speaker 7: With the bed The beds were scooted together and the
Speaker 7: toilet kept overflowing. It was just scenes from plain strains
Speaker 7: and automobiles, and it was so much fun.
Speaker 1: I don't know what you why you two would.
Speaker 4: Want to miss out on that character building.
Speaker 1: This isn't a towel underwear.
Speaker 3: Great comedy.
Speaker 5: It also makes me think of that we did spend
Speaker 5: a lot of time waiting on that bench, which is
Speaker 5: another retiree thing to do, Another active senior thing to
Speaker 5: do is like two ladies facing straightforward waiting for their
Speaker 5: ride talking about, you know.
Speaker 4: The co we were too old for this ship.
Speaker 6: Well that was a thing because I knew you were
Speaker 6: way and I was like, oh, are you part of
Speaker 6: the festival. And I just also feel very grateful that
Speaker 6: I met you in that setting because the impression on
Speaker 6: getting you, Karen, is that you only like about seven
Speaker 6: percent of the populace I got.
Speaker 4: So I've feel like I met you. We were both there.
Speaker 6: We should have been sharing a blanket, our legs were,
Speaker 6: but like we were meeting. Were like, we're both in
Speaker 6: this situation you met and the fact that we're in
Speaker 6: this hotel means we have a similar sensibility, right, because
Speaker 6: we've been put in this hotel because we are difficult.
Speaker 7: Okay outright, I don't live in I don't know why
Speaker 7: I put the bench in a park and you're surrounded
Speaker 7: by pigeons.
Speaker 1: This was a bench at the hotel.
Speaker 6: Yeah outside the hotel, Yeah, right outside but it certainly
Speaker 6: had a pigeon energy.
Speaker 4: If if I had a feed, they would have.
Speaker 5: Come, you know, entirely. They were waiting right around the corner.
Speaker 5: But maybe this staff had them beaten back enough, so
Speaker 5: it's like it was bugging people. But this was the
Speaker 5: place where and I think I told you about this
Speaker 5: name me at the time. But I really enjoyed getting
Speaker 5: up in the morning. It was such an odd We
Speaker 5: were like off a highway but then also down a road,
Speaker 5: so there was nowhere to go. So I would get
Speaker 5: up in the morning and I would take a walk
Speaker 5: around this business park and get high, like waken big.
Speaker 5: And then but I find myself in front of an
Speaker 5: abandoned DeVry business school or you remember the business school
Speaker 5: that was like sharing the other side of the park.
Speaker 3: It was the trippiest.
Speaker 5: I would walk up there and just be like they
Speaker 5: just left it here, like no one goes to this
Speaker 5: school anymore. It was like, maybe may not have been
Speaker 5: to ride. I don't want to be busting them, like
Speaker 5: they're going out of business. I'm sure they're doing great.
Speaker 5: But it was like a University of Phoenix style actual
Speaker 5: business college that was no longer.
Speaker 3: And I was fascinated by it.
Speaker 1: Were either of you in that show Corporate?
Speaker 4: Yes, I did a hot minute, you know, I did
Speaker 4: a hot minute.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's where they shot. That was like a closed down.
Speaker 7: It was so creepy, just a vast expanse of empty desks.
Speaker 7: And what made it creepiest is it seemed like people
Speaker 7: left in a hurry. They left behind like that is
Speaker 7: like you have to get out of this building today
Speaker 7: Gaslak style. There's like, yes, expensive cords. I saw a
Speaker 7: watch on a desk. It's like, where's the owner of
Speaker 7: that's watch? Is he okay? Why was he fired? It
Speaker 7: was had something to do with two thousand and eight
Speaker 7: and the.
Speaker 5: Yes, That's how it felt to me because this place,
Speaker 5: the parking the parking spaces had names on the right.
Speaker 3: That's the thing I was obsessed with. It was just
Speaker 3: like it wasn't like this slowly you know what.
Speaker 5: It made me think of it like not in any
Speaker 5: real way, of course, but it was this kind of
Speaker 5: thing of like we all think that if a business,
Speaker 5: like a business.
Speaker 3: It has a big build.
Speaker 5: There's a big building in New York somewhere where this
Speaker 5: business is, and then there's other franchises or whatever. In
Speaker 5: my mind, those can't go away because they're in these
Speaker 5: big buildings, and it's like it's all fake, like it
Speaker 5: all can come and go very quickly with no one
Speaker 5: expecting it.
Speaker 3: Like it's a little scary.
Speaker 4: Is it's so scary?
Speaker 7: Just off it's like cubicles in place covered with rat
Speaker 7: poop and where I need to know where these people?
Speaker 7: And it was it was one of the main mortgage
Speaker 7: home mortgage companies that famously had something to do with
Speaker 7: the fall of the market. Oh god, people are going
Speaker 7: to know I'm not that fiscally in love.
Speaker 5: Your whole brand is gone right now, Chris, You're alone up.
Speaker 1: Fall of the the you know, all of the market. Yeah,
Speaker 1: the market.
Speaker 3: Rates spell the money, drop the money.
Speaker 7: It's safe for me to say that two thousand and eight.
Speaker 7: I don't need to get any more details.
Speaker 3: No, we were there, we know, we suffered through it.
Speaker 4: It dropped.
Speaker 5: What have you done any shows sadly in quarantine or.
Speaker 6: That you've loved well girl, Okay, So I just just
Speaker 6: a couple of weeks ago I shot a Netflix half
Speaker 6: hour in New York.
Speaker 4: Wow, yes, oh, congratulations, thank you.
Speaker 6: But I had two months to put this thing together
Speaker 6: after not performing for fifteen months. So when you talk
Speaker 6: about your nightmare of like you have to go on now,
Speaker 6: I was very much living in yeah, And it was
Speaker 6: that feeling of of course the opportunity comes, there's no
Speaker 6: way I'm saying no.
Speaker 4: But it was literally like, I don't know how it's
Speaker 4: gonna happen.
Speaker 6: I don't know we're gonna just we're just gonna reach
Speaker 6: out to any person who's ever said they ever went
Speaker 6: to a show and asked them for stage time, whatever
Speaker 6: you can find.
Speaker 4: Yeah, And I was just like I was.
Speaker 6: I spent two months like out and about I feel
Speaker 6: like right before the Delta burke, and I was like, Okay,
Speaker 6: I'm gonna get up as much as I can and
Speaker 6: then flew to New York and that's all stuff, you know,
Speaker 6: I wouldn't have done if not for Netflix. I think
Speaker 6: I could have not that I don't misperforming, but I
Speaker 6: was certainly like, none of this is worth dying for.
Speaker 4: That's what I's finger it out. None of it's worth
Speaker 4: dying on a ventilator for.
Speaker 6: So I'm happy to stay in the house and watch
Speaker 6: a streaming program.
Speaker 4: Yes, yeah, and even.
Speaker 7: If everyone's vaccinated and then they're checking credentials or whatever.
Speaker 7: It's not worth dying on stage for, you know, being
Speaker 7: totally out of practice the last time I did stand up.
Speaker 7: It keeps feeling like it, did you know, fifteen years ago?
Speaker 7: I feel like a kid again. It's so scary. I
Speaker 7: leave every set drenched in sweat, but I love it.
Speaker 7: I also like that feeling. But it's weird to not
Speaker 7: know what you're doing.
Speaker 5: So Naomi, when it finally came to tape time, you
Speaker 5: get two shots?
Speaker 3: Right, yes, yes, Chris, you've done this. You've done a
Speaker 3: half hour.
Speaker 1: I've just done little spotlight things.
Speaker 5: But yeah, oh okay, sorry, I absolutely see you was
Speaker 5: doing this, but I chose not to.
Speaker 3: But you get do you get two shots? Two sets?
Speaker 4: Yep? Two sets seven and a ten, seven and ten?
Speaker 3: And how'd they go?
Speaker 1: Like?
Speaker 3: Can you just walk us through?
Speaker 4: Like fire? There's one line I missed in both shows
Speaker 4: that I did. Remember. I missed it, like I realized
Speaker 4: I missed it two mornings later when I woke up
Speaker 4: at six am and a cold.
Speaker 6: Sweat shot out of bed and said, I don't think
Speaker 6: I said it.
Speaker 4: I don't think I said it.
Speaker 6: But the first one, the seven o'clock when it was
Speaker 6: funny because the ten o'clock is where my friends were coming,
Speaker 6: Like I knew people who were gonna be there, but
Speaker 6: the seven was like fire, and then ten o'clock was
Speaker 6: a little and then I kind of got in my
Speaker 6: head so that I just started saying random shit, you know,
Speaker 6: like because if it wasn't a taping, I would have
Speaker 6: gone off of the material and been like, what do
Speaker 6: y'all need emotionally? But I couldn't do that, so then
Speaker 6: I just started to trying to say random shit to
Speaker 6: see if I can kind of like jostle them or whatever. Yeah,
Speaker 6: so I just watched a rough cut yesterday, so I'm
Speaker 6: just really in my head about it. But you know what,
Speaker 6: we have to let go and let god the figure
Speaker 6: is what it is after the pandemic.
Speaker 4: Okay, sometimes she gained the COVID nineteen and you have
Speaker 4: to accept it. And I say what I say right like,
Speaker 4: it's like what it is.
Speaker 5: Well, and having seen you a lot, I don't see
Speaker 5: how you can miss because what you do on stage
Speaker 5: is so authentic and real. Like I've watched many sets
Speaker 5: of yours at that festival and since, and I'm always
Speaker 5: trying to go like every one's while I can go, oh,
Speaker 5: that's a bit, but most of the time.
Speaker 3: That's what it feels like.
Speaker 5: It feels like you're kind of leading a chat that
Speaker 5: no one else gets to talk at, which is like
Speaker 5: perfect right, and so it is.
Speaker 4: I'm improvising, I'm yes and myself.
Speaker 1: It's like the best type of improv chat.
Speaker 3: Chris so Low.
Speaker 4: First of all, thank you so much, Kieren. That is
Speaker 4: the highest honor.
Speaker 3: Okay, You're one of my favorites.
Speaker 4: That is the dream. Literally anytime.
Speaker 6: It's so funny because I'll be like, why are people
Speaker 6: paying attention to me today?
Speaker 4: And I'm like, Karen Kilgarrett told people I existed, done
Speaker 4: the follows.
Speaker 7: The follows come when KK comes through my whole career.
Speaker 7: It's Karen doing that for me.
Speaker 4: But Chris, you I saw you.
Speaker 6: You were at the one of the last shows I
Speaker 6: did pre Pandemic at the Improv Lab and I had
Speaker 6: never seen you before. And my dear partner, Andy Beckeraman
Speaker 6: is such a huge fan of you and I and
Speaker 6: I saw you and it had to.
Speaker 4: Be January February. You were giving me Christmas sweater vibes.
Speaker 6: There was a fun number one the actually Christmas you know,
Speaker 6: but it was like a thick cable.
Speaker 7: I'll have a series of sweaters that I that I
Speaker 7: really wear too much of during the.
Speaker 6: Hot yes, And I was like, oh my god. And
Speaker 6: I just remember because it was one of those shows
Speaker 6: where you know how the Improv Lab can be, or
Speaker 6: just any clubs in general, right, that can be really
Speaker 6: kind of.
Speaker 4: Like they necessarily there for you.
Speaker 6: Yeah, right, yeah yeah, And there was something about you
Speaker 6: where you are just such a goof troop but also
Speaker 6: so very like grounded, literally like in his body, do
Speaker 6: you know what I mean? Like Chris is like he's
Speaker 6: gonna stand there. You want to go on this journey
Speaker 6: and you better figure it out. And he got this
Speaker 6: audience in a way that I was like damn because
Speaker 6: I kind of got up there and was like love me,
Speaker 6: you know, I'm leading for them, you know, like really
Speaker 6: an overdrive, talking too fast and stuff. And he just
Speaker 6: was kind of like, yeah, this is it. I ye
Speaker 6: having fun and I'm in a sweater thing and.
Speaker 4: That's it. That's the stuff.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much. That makes me feel great.
Speaker 7: I performed in that room a lot, and that was
Speaker 7: why I felt comfortable in there. I think a lot
Speaker 7: of people like for some reason, that room can pull
Speaker 7: the energy out of your soul, like immediately, and I
Speaker 7: just I just felt comfortable in there. I will I
Speaker 7: still do terribly on the main stage, if that's a consolation.
Speaker 3: The main stage.
Speaker 5: I have to say this is I've had the best
Speaker 5: shows of all in the in the improv main room,
Speaker 5: and then I've had ones where I'm like, oh my god,
Speaker 5: everything I've ever done is a mistake. And I've also
Speaker 5: behaved very badly when those sets went south, you know
Speaker 5: what I mean, where I'm like strangely attacking the audience
Speaker 5: and they're truly like, hey, look we're not experts, and
Speaker 5: we actually don't care that much. We're here to talk
Speaker 5: to each other, drink these drinks, and you're the background.
Speaker 5: So like, if you can accept it, do your thing,
Speaker 5: and if not, we will make your life a living hell.
Speaker 5: And so when it really came together was when I
Speaker 5: was doing songs, which was humiliating because.
Speaker 3: I would have to get up there and be like,
Speaker 3: it's me the guitar act.
Speaker 5: But then in a room like that, they all just
Speaker 5: give over to you, like it. They're like absolutely leadable,
Speaker 5: yes exactly, you like take up the whole thing.
Speaker 4: Well, Biss.
Speaker 6: Situation is my favorite song. I like to have it
Speaker 6: in my head all the time. It's on a mix
Speaker 6: mix that lifts me up because it just really hits
Speaker 6: it just a business situation, like and you know, who
Speaker 6: is it?
Speaker 4: Who is it?
Speaker 6: Chris Pope's clapping. It's from the live album and I
Speaker 6: just like I was, like, that's clapping, and then it's
Speaker 6: just like so good and it's just like, you know,
Speaker 6: your voice is a gentle dream. Yeah, that's beautiful. And
Speaker 6: I remember because I was what I saw you do
Speaker 6: at all, Jane, you know music, because I didn't you know,
Speaker 6: I didn't know, but I remember. I feel like around
Speaker 6: then too, you were talking about that pivot to doing
Speaker 6: just the music and yeah, like you know both anymore,
Speaker 6: but I remember it was like they're there for it.
Speaker 4: And also because I think the music is so well done.
Speaker 6: Like there's nothing I can't stand more than a musical
Speaker 6: comedian who can't sing. Oh these hoes be out here
Speaker 6: without the harmonies. It's like stop, just write tweets and said,
Speaker 6: you know, like that's how you insist on doing. And
Speaker 6: I think when someone sounds good like you're you're inclined
Speaker 6: to focus on it.
Speaker 4: You know you're not going to just be like, oh
Speaker 4: this this Jack a lantern thiswe I agree.
Speaker 7: Yeah, I well, you try and convince Karen to lay
Speaker 7: down another music album. I keep I want to start
Speaker 7: a band, whether even though I only play trombone. But
Speaker 7: maybe she'll listen to you, Naomi, maybe shall listen to you.
Speaker 7: I think that music it means to happen.
Speaker 5: Again, guys that I loved doing it, but there is
Speaker 5: and I know I've talked to both of you individually
Speaker 5: about this. When you're up there in the middle of
Speaker 5: a song, you cannot get out, you have to finish it.
Speaker 3: It's the worst. Even when they love it. It's the
Speaker 3: worst feeling in the world to me.
Speaker 5: Because I like the idea, like I want to show
Speaker 5: people like, hey, look I thought this thing up. I
Speaker 5: want the credit, and I like I want the hard
Speaker 5: laughs at the jokes where they are. But sometimes there's
Speaker 5: like vast deserts between laughs between like good feelings and
Speaker 5: when it's bad, it is the worst. But I think
Speaker 5: like a room like the Hollywood improv because there's such
Speaker 5: a weird show feel. It's like the room is you know,
Speaker 5: stacked or whatever, Like there's something about it that if
Speaker 5: you go in there and you're like, I'm filling this
Speaker 5: whole room up, it'll work. And if you if the
Speaker 5: room gets on you and you get small's that's when
Speaker 5: I have always failed, is when I was like it's
Speaker 5: too fancy for me or whatever. It's like, it's the
Speaker 5: fucking improv.
Speaker 6: What are you doing right? And that's that I have
Speaker 6: to remember. Yeah, you're the star. You are, You're the star.
Speaker 6: We should be talking about comedy so much or should know.
Speaker 4: I wish you.
Speaker 6: Guys, we could do this podcast back when I actually
Speaker 6: needed a rat because I always need a ride because
Speaker 6: I don't drop in la.
Speaker 4: We will podcast that would take me places.
Speaker 7: This is the dree Well we promisedly will in the future. Yes, yes,
Speaker 7: And my my sister is a very big fan of you.
Speaker 7: Naoi like uh she she watched Megan Gaily and Spokane
Speaker 7: and through her got introduced you and she listens to
Speaker 7: everything you do podcast wise.
Speaker 4: She's a really good man. She's brought you.
Speaker 7: Up many many times and you would like her and
Speaker 7: one day.
Speaker 3: She has great taste, she knows her comedy stuff.
Speaker 7: Yeah, I've I'm like, should I go see this person?
Speaker 7: I'm like, I'm it's not my favorite, but they've been
Speaker 7: doing comedy forever.
Speaker 4: I think you'll like them.
Speaker 7: And she's like they were very She don't give a
Speaker 7: perfect synopsis of their strong points and say nothing negative.
Speaker 6: Yeah, oh that's very Now I like her. She's strength space.
Speaker 6: Does she a social worker? She is a teacher, a librarian.
Speaker 6: See strength Space. You have to you've got to focus
Speaker 6: on the good to.
Speaker 4: Bring more of that out. Yes, that's good.
Speaker 7: I've noticed, well, she's found a lot of good in you.
Speaker 4: And I had to let you know.
Speaker 5: Thank you what you're saying, Lisa, And she listens to
Speaker 5: your and Megan Gaily's podcast about Lifetime movies.
Speaker 3: Do you want to talk tell us a little bit
Speaker 3: about that.
Speaker 6: Sometimes someone comes to you, okay, sometimes a corporation comes
Speaker 6: to you in a pandemic. It says, do you want
Speaker 6: to do a podcast about lifetime movies? And you say,
Speaker 6: you mean what I was already watching absolutely, And then say,
Speaker 6: why don't we add a white woman to the And
Speaker 6: then I call Megan gay because I say she's the
Speaker 6: whitest woman I know, whitest woman I trust and got
Speaker 6: her in the loop, and I'm just really glad we
Speaker 6: work well together. You know what I mean, because I
Speaker 6: know her as a comic, but you know, it's always
Speaker 6: from when you start to work with somebody and it's
Speaker 6: like do you.
Speaker 4: Believe in being on time and doing things right? You know?
Speaker 4: And she does and we love that. Yes, yes, And
Speaker 4: if it was up.
Speaker 6: To me, we would just watch thrillers. We would just
Speaker 6: watch murderers, we would watch nefarious Husband's okay, but we
Speaker 6: also have been watching we had. They have a Royal movies,
Speaker 6: like three movies on Harry and Meghan, a true trilogy.
Speaker 4: They have William and Kate.
Speaker 6: We're gonna be doing some Christmas movies like every now
Speaker 6: and then we'll do a romance. But literally, I'm like,
Speaker 6: I want to watch The Killer in my Backyard, So
Speaker 6: I want.
Speaker 4: They're so funny and so like, I don't know what
Speaker 4: I see a lifetime movie.
Speaker 6: I say anything as possible, because it's like this person
Speaker 6: wrote that thing, and then somebody bought it, and then
Speaker 6: they shot it in a weekend and then it's like
Speaker 6: everybody got a job.
Speaker 4: I mean, it's a beautiful thing to see a lifetime
Speaker 4: movie at action.
Speaker 5: Also when they jump on this is because my sister
Speaker 5: and I are a little bit obsessed at this point
Speaker 5: with the Christmas movies because it really does like almost
Speaker 5: like cartoons on Saturday morning when you are a kid,
Speaker 5: and you know, for us in the eighties, it has
Speaker 5: this feeling of like, oh, I'm home for the holidays.
Speaker 5: It's kind of like we're busy and stressed because there's
Speaker 5: things to do, like top line, but right now it's
Speaker 5: six o'clock. We're done with today's stuff, and we're like
Speaker 5: wrapping or doing stuff, and it's always on in the background.
Speaker 4: It is.
Speaker 5: It is the most beautifully formulaic yet varied, you know
Speaker 5: what I mean. So you know that you're going to
Speaker 5: have this successful advertising female executive who has to go
Speaker 5: back to go through her mother's old cabin always she
Speaker 5: drives in and they're decorating the tall, tall pine.
Speaker 3: Tree in the city square.
Speaker 4: I mean, it is.
Speaker 5: It's the kind of thing where if you want to
Speaker 5: be cynical, you can, but if you give into it,
Speaker 5: it's way better. And it's like it's a true kind
Speaker 5: of a journey where you're just like, yeah, what like
Speaker 5: if you kind of I know, I think I go
Speaker 5: with it of like I what if she doesn't get him?
Speaker 3: What if the guys she ran into in the mug store.
Speaker 3: Doesn't Oh my god, less he's a doctor. What if
Speaker 3: he doesn't like her or whatever? Like, you can really
Speaker 3: go with it, Yeah, and I do.
Speaker 7: That's one thing I'm good at now is giving in
Speaker 7: to programming like that, like I will while I've been
Speaker 7: watching Disney and Nickelodeon kids shows just for the right
Speaker 7: because it's so many jokes.
Speaker 1: It's yeah, yeah, those shows are good.
Speaker 7: They're like thirty Rock for kids, and I'm I'm really
Speaker 7: I get sucked in and I tear up at certain things,
Speaker 7: like even like Toyota commercials, but you just.
Speaker 6: Got to own well, Christopher, Honey, that's different. Yeah, Toyota,
Speaker 6: that's something else entirely Well.
Speaker 7: I could go over all the reasons, but we've gone
Speaker 7: down that road before.
Speaker 4: H Yeah.
Speaker 3: I love that.
Speaker 5: You guys are actually the official podcast of Time.
Speaker 1: I didn't know that. I thought they jumped on later
Speaker 1: from the beginning. You were approached by Lifetime.
Speaker 6: Yes, that's how it started, they initially, and I was like,
Speaker 6: and again, it's funny just because I joke, like, I
Speaker 6: wasn't watching Lifetime movies at the moment, but those are
Speaker 6: such a big part of my childhood Lifetime movies and like,
Speaker 6: you know, because it was basic cable so we had it,
Speaker 6: but it was like a little adult but obviously nothing really,
Speaker 6: but you know, it's like a teenager. I'm like, oh
Speaker 6: my god, my god, look at that sensuality and murder,
Speaker 6: like it was a big deal.
Speaker 4: And yeah, I would watch those.
Speaker 6: And so and especially you know, we're we're all at
Speaker 6: home anyway, I was like, yeah, give me an excuse.
Speaker 6: I've been sitting in the house watching anime for a year.
Speaker 6: Let's shake it up. Yeah, bring some Lifetime back and so.
Speaker 5: And there was part of it when you're younger that's like,
Speaker 5: this is what you're going to be faced with as
Speaker 5: a grown Wyes, yes, yes, So either you're gonna be
Speaker 5: the perfect like you're gonna be the perfect model bride
Speaker 5: that then when you and your army husband get home,
Speaker 5: you're suddenly you know, he's he's gonna his eyes are
Speaker 5: going to turn to black ink and you're in serious
Speaker 5: danger and here we go, or you know, or you're
Speaker 5: going to get a career and then you're gonna go
Speaker 5: home for Christmas. And then the guy that you know
Speaker 5: that's making the donuts in the town is going to
Speaker 5: fall in love with you and you know.
Speaker 4: And also like can I please all I ever want?
Speaker 6: I was like, I'm obsessed with large kitchens, and that's
Speaker 6: Lifetime's fault.
Speaker 4: Every movie.
Speaker 6: It don't matter what she do. She had kindergarten, teach it.
Speaker 6: She a big city executive. Marble countertops, okay, at least one,
Speaker 6: sometimes two kitchen islands.
Speaker 4: Yes, I love it.
Speaker 7: I love when when the job is just struggling a
Speaker 7: welder artist and then they have the nicest apartment I've
Speaker 7: ever seen.
Speaker 4: I know, but there's something about a big kitchen.
Speaker 6: I've never lived in a place with a big kitchen really,
Speaker 6: like you know, my own, where it's just like room
Speaker 6: to maneuver. You know, more than one person can be in.
Speaker 5: The kitchen and it's not you can immediately picture them
Speaker 5: like taking pasta in a calendar and throwing it way
Speaker 5: up in the air and like nothing's gonna get it's
Speaker 5: not gonna get on anything because they just have room
Speaker 5: to do it.
Speaker 7: Yeah, an is train utilizing an island in any way,
Speaker 7: that means you got a fancy kitchen face it, Yeah
Speaker 7: you do.
Speaker 4: And that's Lifetime, baby, that's me.
Speaker 6: Every girl's got it, got an island and it's aspirational.
Speaker 5: It's an aspirational show. And then is it couple's therapy? Yes,
Speaker 5: your podcast with Andy?
Speaker 1: Yes?
Speaker 4: Yes.
Speaker 6: So now we will have our you know, guests, people
Speaker 6: we like on and we will answer relationship questions, talk
Speaker 6: to them a little bit about their relations We recently
Speaker 6: had Patton Oswalt and Meredith Salinger on. Sometimes we had
Speaker 6: a couple which is a cute, fun time. But then
Speaker 6: Lance Reddick, we love a Lance Reddick speaking of corporate
Speaker 6: who played the Scary Ball. Yeah, he is so nice
Speaker 6: and tender and you know, wonderful comedians. I wish I
Speaker 6: had names off the top of my head. But the
Speaker 6: point is we're having fun and there's nothing I love
Speaker 6: more than answering relationship questions because I it I should
Speaker 6: be ill in law, I should be Oprah like. That
Speaker 6: is something I can very much do at some point
Speaker 6: because I know how to tell. I know exactly what
Speaker 6: you should do. I don't do it personally in my
Speaker 6: own life. But if you don't pay attention to that,
Speaker 6: you will listen and you will feel better.
Speaker 5: Yes, what's the best piece of advice you guys have?
Speaker 3: Like somebody said to you or you've come up with
Speaker 3: on a show.
Speaker 6: Okay, Well, one of the things I have said over
Speaker 6: and over is anybody worth your time will not have
Speaker 6: to be convinced. And that is when these people be
Speaker 6: coming in here talking about like, oh I like him
Speaker 6: or her, or they aren't paying attention to me, whether
Speaker 6: it's a crush or we're in a relationship, and like
Speaker 6: they're not making time for me, And what do I do?
Speaker 6: And it's like you have to leave nobody who is
Speaker 6: your person is gonna need to be coaxed into showing
Speaker 6: up for you?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 4: Good god, it's simple.
Speaker 6: But also, and I say that to somebody who gave
Speaker 6: a lot of hoes a lot of time, you know
Speaker 6: what I mean?
Speaker 4: They were the best Chris, did you gives a lot
Speaker 4: of time?
Speaker 7: I mean, let's get there with I am looking back
Speaker 7: and seeing that there was a lot of condensing.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah, always.
Speaker 5: Yeah, that's a hard one to learn because, well, especially
Speaker 5: if you're like me, where the people.
Speaker 3: I like the most are the ones that do not
Speaker 3: give a shit? Right, you get into that thing because
Speaker 3: I listen to what's that thing?
Speaker 5: It's called uh uh it's pheromones. No, sorry, sorry, it's
Speaker 5: how it's the way you bond.
Speaker 3: So it's like anxiety or secure.
Speaker 4: Like anxious codependent or.
Speaker 3: Secure.
Speaker 4: Yes, yes, yes, attachment like the attachment theory.
Speaker 5: Attachment theory, and I learned about one of them is
Speaker 5: if you have an anxious attachment like tendency, then the
Speaker 5: people who have there's one that's like basically like no
Speaker 5: thanks attachment, and those people give you feelings that you
Speaker 5: begin to mistake for the feelings of love because it's
Speaker 5: actually anxiety because you know they're not going to give
Speaker 5: you what you want, and you want and it makes
Speaker 5: you want it more.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I have that right.
Speaker 5: I think everyone has it a little bit. It's that
Speaker 5: thing of like it's the person is a crush that
Speaker 5: then somehow becomes a rock star the less they care
Speaker 5: about you.
Speaker 6: That's interesting. I never was that way, if anything. I
Speaker 6: think if you liked me, then I would attach to you,
Speaker 6: you know what I mean. I was like, oh you
Speaker 6: like me, we in love now, And then they would
Speaker 6: very much be like, oh no, I changed my mind,
Speaker 6: like if that happens, or like I would like a
Speaker 6: friend like I needed you. I'm not here for anybody
Speaker 6: who seems disinterested.
Speaker 4: I don't.
Speaker 6: It's already like enough, I think I don't like me,
Speaker 6: so I don't need somebody else not liking me either,
Speaker 6: Like I can only be in one battle at any
Speaker 6: given time, and so I need you to kind of
Speaker 6: be on board. But it's not enough that you just
Speaker 6: like me, right. I was never taking the time to think,
Speaker 6: do I actually like them?
Speaker 1: Right?
Speaker 5: You know that's a very I think that's a lot
Speaker 5: of women deal with that, where it's like the flipping
Speaker 5: that question of like, wait, what if this was my
Speaker 5: choice and I'm not sitting here like waiting for my
Speaker 5: dance card to get filled. It's really that's a tough one.
Speaker 5: That's like emotional maturity.
Speaker 6: I think, I know, are there of you in relations
Speaker 6: I am now, I'm just I've really been finding myself
Speaker 6: the last year and a half and I feel good
Speaker 6: about it.
Speaker 1: But now I'm very Chris.
Speaker 5: You turned to the side as you were saying that,
Speaker 5: and it looked like Beethoven Z No, there's still.
Speaker 1: A way error here, and I was looking at myself
Speaker 1: totally dark.
Speaker 5: Oh you turn to the side and because of your backlighting, yeah,
Speaker 5: it goes Yeah, sorry, this is bad podcasting.
Speaker 4: You gotta do a screenshot real quick post.
Speaker 7: This, Okay, click here, we do it, and I'm gonna
Speaker 7: tak Penny Stilouette.
Speaker 3: Hold on, holdn wait, turning it.
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 7: There it's a dark silhouette and there's the reveal of
Speaker 7: my pa and you're back.
Speaker 1: It's great.
Speaker 5: It's great to have reveals on podcast. Zoom reveals on podcast.
Speaker 5: If you want to see what Chris looks like, you
Speaker 5: have to pay nine to ninety nine to go into.
Speaker 1: The unlock these pixelated images. Enjoy. I've been, Yeah, I've been.
Speaker 1: I've been outdoors a lot.
Speaker 7: I've been golfing and skateboarding and doing things that make
Speaker 7: me happy and I feel good. And it's okay that
Speaker 7: I've been not dating, but yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, saying golf is your girlfriend and that's fine with us.
Speaker 1: Ex I love Lady Golf, and.
Speaker 4: Yeah I don't my Lady Gulf.
Speaker 7: I'm just worried that I'm going to keep it's going
Speaker 7: to stay this way for me, I would buy some
Speaker 7: decision in my brain where I'm like, well, I'm old, now,
Speaker 7: time to start building homes for pigeons to visit me.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, because I'm into miniature You.
Speaker 4: Do love pigeons.
Speaker 6: You brought them up twice now, and I know it's
Speaker 6: that pigeon energy.
Speaker 5: You've got some pigeon energy about you. I have the same, Chris,
Speaker 5: I have the same feeling where like when I went
Speaker 5: home in May, like and we had to go to
Speaker 5: a family function and I'm cousins who are like, so
Speaker 5: I've been dating anyone lately?
Speaker 3: And I'm like, you mean in the.
Speaker 5: Past eighteen months of quarantine for the global pandemic, now,
Speaker 5: I haven't met anyone yet, Like, how dare you like?
Speaker 5: I've been spending my time getting like just packing on
Speaker 5: the pounds and really watching every single thing on yeah Netflix.
Speaker 7: I mean, there's been a couple of close calls, but
Speaker 7: that was just the mail carrier coming to my door.
Speaker 7: Other than that, no relationships have been presented at my
Speaker 7: apartment on a hill.
Speaker 5: I did have some some exciting likes on Twitter, but
Speaker 5: that does that count as a relationship? I don't think
Speaker 5: it does.
Speaker 4: Well, what about postmate?
Speaker 6: Know, I had one, like I knew he had got
Speaker 6: in bed when I had a repeat postmate and he
Speaker 6: literally goes hello again, and it was something about the
Speaker 6: way he said again that I felt was savage, brutal. Yeah,
Speaker 6: and pointed Okay, too much shame murder.
Speaker 4: Hello again.
Speaker 7: Yeah, there was a taco bell guy. Uh, there was
Speaker 7: a taco bell by my college. And the guy just
Speaker 7: knew my name, Hey Chris, and I felt unhealthy.
Speaker 4: Yes.
Speaker 7: Then he asked me about old bags of marijuana for him.
Speaker 7: I did didn't have to sell them, and he said
Speaker 7: if I lost it, we'd be in big trouble with
Speaker 7: some guys in Saaba. So I did not do that.
Speaker 7: I did not become a drug dealer. My freshman year
Speaker 7: car across the counter truly, really next to the microphone
Speaker 7: that announces food orders, like, I'm like, quiet down, you're
Speaker 7: the worst recruiter for drug activity.
Speaker 4: Oh my god? Was this the abandoned business college Karen
Speaker 4: was talking about earlier? I believe close.
Speaker 7: It's a it's a rapidly depleting uh.
Speaker 4: Liberal arts college.
Speaker 1: But enrollment is down. You didn't need to hear that update.
Speaker 3: It's down.
Speaker 4: It's not doing well.
Speaker 1: To be honest, it's not Oh you weren't serious.
Speaker 5: What we're saying is worry. We're saying worry. It's not cool.
Speaker 5: Things aren't going good.
Speaker 7: It's a college I care about. I want them to
Speaker 7: do better. Go to the University of Montana. I do
Speaker 7: you enjoy sculpture or ceramics? But were you in Montana?
Speaker 5: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm from Missoula, Montana.
Speaker 4: You're from MISSOULI. I am from Missoula. When did you
Speaker 4: meet your first black person?
Speaker 1: There is a lot of white people there, now, I know.
Speaker 1: That's why my sister pronounced it's white. By the way.
Speaker 3: Uh oh no, it's a big breath before it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I would say eighty percent Caucasian.
Speaker 4: I maybe I'm wrong.
Speaker 1: Someone good Yeah, but yeah no.
Speaker 4: But like seriously though, like were you was it?
Speaker 6: Once you left Montana and then you like went to
Speaker 6: do an open mic and you were like that black
Speaker 6: guy's talking, Like when did it hit you? No?
Speaker 7: I think, uh, well, I'm not going to defend the
Speaker 7: whole state or or no.
Speaker 4: You don't have to defend them, genuinely curious.
Speaker 7: New York is one of those liberal towns that want
Speaker 7: so badly to have culture that they'll bring it in,
Speaker 7: uh in a way that other parts of much like
Speaker 7: Austin in Texas. And that's where I ended up moving
Speaker 7: actually is Austin, And so I finally lived in a
Speaker 7: city and got to be around different people and it
Speaker 7: was really important to me right away, and my dad
Speaker 7: told me it would be important to me and wanted
Speaker 7: me to get out.
Speaker 1: But I do like going back to Missoula for those streams.
Speaker 4: In the mountains. Yeah, of course, not beautiful. It's You're
Speaker 4: not in trouble for me, for I know, I know
Speaker 4: I'm not.
Speaker 3: You're real, very defensive.
Speaker 4: Why people be delicate? Okay, shake it off. It's not your.
Speaker 7: Fault, you white. I put it on myself. That is
Speaker 7: not something you put on me. It is living inside
Speaker 7: of me. I'm sorry, Naomi. I didn't know that you
Speaker 7: grew up in Harlem. What was your favorite part about that?
Speaker 8: Oh?
Speaker 3: Yeah, do you have a favorite?
Speaker 6: When I was growing up, Harlem was just such a
Speaker 6: neighborhood and it was, you know, it felt a little
Speaker 6: like I will walk around to the corner store to
Speaker 6: the bodega in my pajamas and like there was no
Speaker 6: judgment there, you know what I mean, Like I liked it.
Speaker 6: There was one bodega where there was a bodega cat
Speaker 6: that I was like, this cat is my pet.
Speaker 4: I would go and like pet the Budjaca.
Speaker 6: All the daggas have cats, I know, but like I
Speaker 6: feel like they have them now, but like when I
Speaker 6: was little, you know, the only ones I could go
Speaker 6: to right because it was like I had a two
Speaker 6: block radius.
Speaker 4: I'm talking like ten years old when I could go
Speaker 4: and I would be like, I.
Speaker 6: Get to go over to the bedeka with the cat
Speaker 6: and then I would just like sit in the back
Speaker 6: and pet the cat for a good ten to fifteen minutes,
Speaker 6: and then I'd buy like a soda to justify my
Speaker 6: time with the cat.
Speaker 5: And then could you're in where you lived, could you
Speaker 5: not have pets? Oh?
Speaker 3: Is it a family?
Speaker 5: No?
Speaker 6: Specifically like I so my mom I had like a turtle,
Speaker 6: I had a hamster, every like small little apartment pet,
Speaker 6: you know. But my mom does not like cats, and
Speaker 6: so she was like no cats absolutely.
Speaker 7: So you had to go to cat store. You had
Speaker 7: to go find the cats out in the street.
Speaker 4: A great cat.
Speaker 6: Like looking back, it's like, thank god I didn't get ticks,
Speaker 6: you know, like it's a potaca cat is anyway some
Speaker 6: I feel like now they get taken care of, but
Speaker 6: back then, it was like, oh, that's just a random
Speaker 6: ass cat.
Speaker 4: I love, Yes, I always have. I grew up around them.
Speaker 7: But they're when everyone at Bridgetown in Portland. Went to
Speaker 7: some cat cafe where apparently you have hope and beverages, coffee,
Speaker 7: hot drinks, and there's cats. Cats just crawl around you
Speaker 7: and you pet multiple cats that didn't appeal to me.
Speaker 4: No interesting, I see that. I definitely see the fleas
Speaker 4: and the ticks that you mentioned.
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, yeah, well, and also I think the people
Speaker 5: that go there are so obsessed with the petting and
Speaker 5: the cats that I don't know how much they're having,
Speaker 5: Like a big old latte with foam right there on
Speaker 5: the table.
Speaker 3: I bet you that they there's like the focus is.
Speaker 4: The animal's peak.
Speaker 1: I would hope.
Speaker 3: So I want to go there.
Speaker 5: Now, make a rule where it's like you go in
Speaker 5: there first and have your drink after you watch your.
Speaker 7: Safe to assume if I get the focus lid cats,
Speaker 7: they're probably out of business.
Speaker 6: Now.
Speaker 7: That's you gotta buy the beverage.
Speaker 5: There alive, and it's all alcohol. It's hard alcohol that
Speaker 5: you have.
Speaker 4: To buy just drunk.
Speaker 5: My favorite thing when I lived in New York, and
Speaker 5: this is because I grew up in a in a
Speaker 5: very small and kind of countryish town in northern California.
Speaker 5: The idea that there were bodega's on the end of
Speaker 5: both ends of the block was the It was just like, oh,
Speaker 5: I could like truly roll out. There was one that
Speaker 5: was closer didn't have the good cookies.
Speaker 3: Than the one at the end.
Speaker 5: It had like the gourmet stuff, and it was just
Speaker 5: like this is true bounty. Like it blew my mind
Speaker 5: because in the way I grew up, you'd have to
Speaker 5: ask to get something, and then it'd be like, we're
Speaker 5: not going into town until blank, yes, beholden too, adults
Speaker 5: going to town, which is so fucking Laura Ingles Wilder.
Speaker 5: So when I was actually finally in New York, I
Speaker 5: was just like, first of all, for just I didn't
Speaker 5: need to do anything. I would just put in my
Speaker 5: my iPod and just walk, yes, walk for blocks and blocks.
Speaker 3: That was the greatest.
Speaker 1: Yes.
Speaker 6: I mean, I was taking the bus to school by
Speaker 6: myself at age ten, and that was I was going
Speaker 6: from Harlem to the Upper East Side and that was
Speaker 6: the city bus, you know what I mean, Like my
Speaker 6: mom would she would walk me sometime, like she would
Speaker 6: walk me in the beginning, like to the stop and
Speaker 6: she'd wait and then after a while she was like, Okay,
Speaker 6: I'm gonna watch you from the window and like make
Speaker 6: sure you get a set off. And then it was like,
Speaker 6: all right, I'm out, and I really like that. You know,
Speaker 6: it's not you know, certainly they're kids who grew up
Speaker 6: in New York who had like the party and all
Speaker 6: that kind of stuff lifestyle that wasn't me. But I
Speaker 6: just was very used to being self sufficient in really
Speaker 6: basic ways, and that has been a really difficult thing
Speaker 6: in moving out here.
Speaker 4: Because of the whole not driving, because I am used
Speaker 4: to just.
Speaker 6: Taking my feet or like as simple as exactly like
Speaker 6: I want to iced tea or I'm out of something
Speaker 6: at home, I can walk a block and grab it,
Speaker 6: you know. Like when I was in New York, I
Speaker 6: just kept going to Dwayne Read Too, which is three
Speaker 6: blocks away, because.
Speaker 4: I didn't have.
Speaker 6: When I was like, oh, I need to use my
Speaker 6: card as supposed to cash or something, and some of
Speaker 6: themdiggas were like, what you're what you're buying is four
Speaker 6: dollars and I will not let you use a credit card.
Speaker 4: So I was like, I gotta go to dwayde and Read.
Speaker 4: But I went there like twice in one day.
Speaker 6: Like it was just like grab it go like and
Speaker 6: that is something I missed, and you know now it's
Speaker 6: like I gotta do a target run. Yes, and I
Speaker 6: know La is allegedly a city, but to me, it's
Speaker 6: just much more like suburban with all the sketch of
Speaker 6: a city campy.
Speaker 4: It's so hard to walk to them.
Speaker 7: I feel really lucky in growing up in a town
Speaker 7: where it was pretty safe.
Speaker 4: As a kid.
Speaker 1: There was always the classic white.
Speaker 7: Fan kidnapper situation, and everyone was weary of that. They
Speaker 7: would announce everywhere who got kidnapped that week.
Speaker 1: I'm not even kidding, but no one. And then I
Speaker 1: found this article.
Speaker 7: By the way, twice I was in the paper, they
Speaker 7: would see me because I dress like a crossing guard.
Speaker 7: My mom made me a stop sign and I orange vest,
Speaker 7: and so someone at the Missouli and thought I was
Speaker 7: cute enough to go on the cover two different times.
Speaker 1: I saw this clipping recently.
Speaker 7: It said Chris Fairbanks walks to packs in elementary. His
Speaker 7: parents are Lynn and Jim, and he lives at two
Speaker 7: ten Cans. It had my street and my parents' name.
Speaker 3: It had the kidnapping script on the front page.
Speaker 1: And they were just like, for lack of we don't
Speaker 1: know what else to say.
Speaker 7: Here's I guess to let the reader know that they
Speaker 7: had permission to post my photos.
Speaker 1: So, hey, we know his parents, Lynn and Jim.
Speaker 7: Here's their address if you want to ask, ye, don't
Speaker 7: worry about just giving kidnap her some sweet sweet bait.
Speaker 5: It's completely Chris. I'm your father Jim's friends. Oh, he's
Speaker 5: in the hospital and your mother Lynn can't come.
Speaker 7: That's the that's how they do it. I would have
Speaker 7: done how they do it. I would have gone would hey,
Speaker 7: I'd be the president of a bank. It would have
Speaker 7: lit a fire under my ant that I regret never
Speaker 7: getting kidnapped. God, I'd be successful.
Speaker 5: But if someone did really have that, you had the
Speaker 5: businessman's edge that.
Speaker 3: You lack now because you trauma.
Speaker 7: Protected unkidnapped life that I just kind of haven't achieved
Speaker 7: that much.
Speaker 4: I do the bare minimize.
Speaker 6: Sometimes I wish I was taken to I'm like, Liam
Speaker 6: Neeson's daughter is doing so well, now you know what
Speaker 6: I mean.
Speaker 4: Like after she got ages, she's gorgeous, she kept it together.
Speaker 6: Okay, she got professional, and she's like, we gonna I'm
Speaker 6: gonna be a grown woman.
Speaker 4: And I was like, I love it.
Speaker 3: Oh, I love the movie you know what she did.
Speaker 5: She got mad, She got mad, and then she got revenge.
Speaker 5: I now I'm now, I weirdly am missing New York.
Speaker 5: I lived there so long ago and I only lived
Speaker 5: there for a year, But it really was because I
Speaker 5: grew up in that time where like I saw a
Speaker 5: Goodbye girl at a very young age, like that idea.
Speaker 5: I was convinced my parents were gonna get divorced my
Speaker 5: whole childhood, and so I was constantly preparing for, like
Speaker 5: when my parents get divorced, I have to live with
Speaker 5: my mom because that's what they always do. And if
Speaker 5: she moves to New York, I'm gonna have to get
Speaker 5: like I'm gonna have to get those rejoinders. I'm gonna
Speaker 5: have to get that Quinn Cummings sassy New York little
Speaker 5: girl act.
Speaker 6: Like.
Speaker 5: I was obsessed with that idea that like, I gotta
Speaker 5: make it. That's how you make it there. You have
Speaker 5: your comebacks and you read your books. I was obsessed
Speaker 5: with it. So when I out there, I was I
Speaker 5: was always like walking around.
Speaker 7: And then you throw your hat in the air.
Speaker 3: And pretend you're in Minneapolis.
Speaker 6: But that's so funny, though, because when you say that
Speaker 6: like thinking you have to like have that like attitude.
Speaker 6: My theory untested is that you know, when you think
Speaker 6: of a tough New Yorker and like New Yorkers are
Speaker 6: mean or whatever, that's actually not a native new Yorker.
Speaker 6: You're meeting someone who has moved to New York who
Speaker 6: thinks that is the exterior. I think actual New Yorkers
Speaker 6: are very nice because you know, anybody you talk to
Speaker 6: could attack you.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean like you're chilling.
Speaker 6: Warm, and in New York is like baby, go first.
Speaker 6: You want to go first, you want to push, go ahead,
Speaker 6: you want to like yes, like after you, sir.
Speaker 7: I'm not trying to die and full. I was told
Speaker 7: don't make eye contact everyone. I made eye contact with everyone.
Speaker 7: Everyone in New York is always friendly. It's such a
Speaker 7: myth that there's like a hardened edge and you can't
Speaker 7: like connect with people. I love being there. I'm always
Speaker 7: in a good mood there. Why haven't I moved there?
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 5: I also find that then I'm assuming they're native New Yorkers,
Speaker 5: because there is like when I would go to Dwayne
Speaker 5: Read the people who wrung me up. I would go
Speaker 5: there a couple times a day too, because I knew
Speaker 5: I needed stuff, and I also knew like if I
Speaker 5: was feeling like homesick or lonely or anything like that,
Speaker 5: that I would have a conversation with that cashier. That's
Speaker 5: something we would have an exchange if I made myself
Speaker 5: available to it. Or there would just be like something
Speaker 5: always happens in doing read right, there's like someone takes
Speaker 5: us lemonade and throws it somewhere, and then people are
Speaker 5: like and the cashiers were always so chill, like unshakeably chill,
Speaker 5: a little bit apathetic, always funny. Yeah, Like there would
Speaker 5: always be a good kind of sassy whatever. Yeah, and
Speaker 5: then they'd kind of be a little nice to you.
Speaker 5: They'd give you like a little yeah, go ahead, you're
Speaker 5: fine whatever.
Speaker 1: Where I do it, yeah, New York.
Speaker 6: The one girl she had it was like a young
Speaker 6: a young woman I would say, like early twenties, but
Speaker 6: she had a big pitbull with her in Duane Reed
Speaker 6: and the dog was chill, but he peed on the
Speaker 6: floor and literally.
Speaker 4: She was like, I'm sorry, he pee. And the girl
Speaker 4: doesn't say a word.
Speaker 6: She walks back, goes to the drawer, I mean on
Speaker 6: the shelf, grabs paper, towel from the stores inventory. Okay,
Speaker 6: oh is it, hands it to the girl and it's
Speaker 6: like you clean up your dog pete. Like it's not
Speaker 6: a situation. She's not like gotta got a manager clean
Speaker 6: up aisle. She was like, here's the paper towel, handle
Speaker 6: it all right, but like she just walking care of
Speaker 6: it behind the behind the register. And I thought it
Speaker 6: was so funny. I was like, do wa to read
Speaker 6: it your house like she's our.
Speaker 3: Clean up, clean it up, take care of your take
Speaker 3: care of your business.
Speaker 1: Clean it up. I really need that woman to have
Speaker 1: cleaned the woman.
Speaker 4: Yeah, the dog owner cleaned it up. Oh definitely.
Speaker 8: She was.
Speaker 6: You know, there's no way you can like hide that.
Speaker 6: And it was already I feel like she was already
Speaker 6: rolling the dice bringing the big dog in.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, because he was a little you gotta
Speaker 1: get a little red vest. Gotta put a little red
Speaker 1: vest on your exactly.
Speaker 4: He was not ware the vest. That's say, sir, who
Speaker 4: are you serving?
Speaker 3: Excuse me, sir, sir?
Speaker 4: I called.
Speaker 6: I think pimbulls are very much sirs, sirs and maths
Speaker 6: mm hmm.
Speaker 3: They're formal. I was walking up. Can I just tell
Speaker 3: one more New York story much.
Speaker 5: I love it so, but I was walking up I
Speaker 5: believe Seventh Avenue one time, and.
Speaker 3: It really was.
Speaker 5: It had the feel of that like when TUTSI, when
Speaker 5: Michael's out in his tutsy outfit, like I'm real, it's
Speaker 5: really working.
Speaker 3: Everyone's buying it, you know, And it's that like in.
Speaker 5: That certain time of day when the crowd on the
Speaker 5: New York streets are four across, like people are, people
Speaker 5: are moving up and down these streets on mass and
Speaker 5: you're just kind of like in a group going with it,
Speaker 5: and you're keeping pace and you're one of the city people.
Speaker 3: And then this girl who.
Speaker 5: Had just come out of kind of like a TJ
Speaker 5: Max type of store, who was holding a big glass thing.
Speaker 5: It wasn't a mirror, but it was like a big
Speaker 5: piece of piece of like friends a little bit because
Speaker 5: she walked a couple steps and it slipped.
Speaker 3: Out of her hands and it dropped, and everyone on.
Speaker 5: The street froze, so literally like ten people all stop
Speaker 5: in their tracks to make sure they didn't get glass
Speaker 5: on them or whatever, and that everyone was okay and
Speaker 5: kind of looked around. And then the girl who was
Speaker 5: seemed like she might have been new to town.
Speaker 3: She was like, oh my god, I'm so sorry. Are
Speaker 3: you okay?
Speaker 5: And she's like looking at the people in front of
Speaker 5: her where the gas glass kind of smashed. And then
Speaker 5: this really short old lady who came out of nowhere
Speaker 5: steps into the center and goes, no you okay, I
Speaker 5: fucking lost my mind. And then they all just started
Speaker 5: kind of like picking things, you know what I mean,
Speaker 5: like taking care of business.
Speaker 3: But the old lady was just like did anyone else
Speaker 3: see her?
Speaker 5: And that.
Speaker 7: Whenever you're in New York City, you're just suddenly in
Speaker 7: a scene from a movie.
Speaker 4: It just exactly Yeah, for real.
Speaker 3: People are hilarious.
Speaker 6: She hears the glass shatter. That old lady like her
Speaker 6: job is to be in places and do that. So
Speaker 6: she hears a glass shatter, she makes quick run to
Speaker 6: that intersection, you know what I mean, Like she's like, okay, I.
Speaker 4: Gotta go in there, make sure people are okay.
Speaker 3: I gotta check. I gotta check everybody. Yeah, I genius.
Speaker 7: When I first was in New York for Premium Plan
Speaker 7: it was two thousand and.
Speaker 3: Three, I knew it Premium Blend.
Speaker 1: Did I already talk about the garbage leaping there? Was
Speaker 1: just the garbage.
Speaker 7: People were on strike and there was garbage everywhere, and
Speaker 7: it was hot, and I was excited about being on
Speaker 7: TV for the first time, and maybe I'd had some drinks.
Speaker 7: But I was jumping off fire escapes into piles of
Speaker 7: garbage all night. I just was leaping into garbage. It
Speaker 7: was so funny. It was one of the funnest I
Speaker 7: like to leap. People know that I like to leap
Speaker 7: into trash bins. This is too quirky.
Speaker 4: You're a man.
Speaker 1: People. They're shocked at first.
Speaker 7: And then if you saw it, I swear you I'd
Speaker 7: win you over with my trash leaping. But one of
Speaker 7: the last leaps, it seemed like just a pile of
Speaker 7: hefty sacks, like black bags. But there's a trash canon
Speaker 7: there filled exclusively with fish remains, oh sales, and.
Speaker 1: It poured on me. I just fish cuts.
Speaker 7: And I went into a bar as with Joe Angrigioni
Speaker 7: and Sepra people and I just covered in fish, like
Speaker 7: He'll lifted the cat. And I went in and people
Speaker 7: are like, it sounds like fish in here, and I
Speaker 7: just done scales.
Speaker 1: Oh what a disgusting story. But god, I love that city.
Speaker 4: Okay, when it comes to trash jumping, though, my concern
Speaker 4: is that there's going to be something hard and sharp
Speaker 4: in the bag and you're going to be in pale.
Speaker 7: I thought, please, no one, some ninja that just quit
Speaker 7: his job, don't throw away your sword today.
Speaker 3: Could just be Or how about needles.
Speaker 5: I mean, like, let's true why we stay away from
Speaker 5: I was in my twenties.
Speaker 1: I was like needles, Bring them on. I was not scared.
Speaker 7: Now I'm scared of driving over certain sharp, sharp litter.
Speaker 7: I'm afraid it'll go and threw my car into me.
Speaker 4: That's you like a rebar.
Speaker 1: I have nightmares about it.
Speaker 4: Hey, But back then, at that.
Speaker 5: Time, we drove we drove over an aluminum ladder on
Speaker 5: the frame.
Speaker 4: Oh my god, yeah what I.
Speaker 5: Think about it all the time because it was this
Speaker 5: kind of thing where so we were on the freeway
Speaker 5: up in northern California. It was me and Pfix and
Speaker 5: we were driving eighty miles an hour at night on
Speaker 5: the five eighty and this aluminum you know, standard like
Speaker 5: ladder six foot I'd say, we watch it roll off
Speaker 5: the back of this truck that's ahead of us, bounce
Speaker 5: go and bounced A car soars like this whatever, and
Speaker 5: it's coming straight at us, and Pe goes, I'm gonna
Speaker 5: drive over it, and I'm like okay, and he we
Speaker 5: just drived drove over it and nothing happened.
Speaker 4: Yeah, so it like landed on the ground.
Speaker 3: Oh yes, it was like it was kind of flying.
Speaker 5: So thought I thought it was coming through the windshield
Speaker 5: force sure, and we both had to just wait to
Speaker 5: see where it landed. And then so it went like
Speaker 5: bounced down and then we were just.
Speaker 3: Like and it because it's so light.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it didn't.
Speaker 3: It just got smashed.
Speaker 4: Wow, Yeah it was. You'll see it, Dann.
Speaker 7: We you live in Los Angeles now, right, Yeah, these
Speaker 7: freeways are lousy with discarded ladders and not kidding.
Speaker 1: You will see many. You'll be like, what this is
Speaker 1: a thing.
Speaker 7: Kind of like stray cats and Texas people don't care
Speaker 7: about cats. There no offense to the entire state. But
Speaker 7: there's ladders everywhere. They just fall off trucks and no
Speaker 7: one can just wait over. They just keep going.
Speaker 6: See about driving and like stuff like that, Like I
Speaker 6: can't take it if a car in front of me,
Speaker 6: you know, it was like that pick up or just
Speaker 6: open back where they have stuff.
Speaker 4: Oh, I'm not riding behind that car. Yeah, you know
Speaker 4: what I mean.
Speaker 6: Like, I'm like, we got to get to the sad
Speaker 6: or in front of it because someone'll come back. I'm
Speaker 6: gonna get him paled. As you said, the rebar fear.
Speaker 6: That's how I feel about open restaurant hatches in New York,
Speaker 6: walking down stream, my parents falling in to the hatch
Speaker 6: and like, you know, going down hard. And the other thing,
Speaker 6: now that is, you know, the stuff coming off of
Speaker 6: someone's car because that like happened to a family friend friend,
Speaker 6: you know, the story like it was real, but again
Speaker 6: a person who I never knew, but literally, like, well,
Speaker 6: one guy hit.
Speaker 4: A deer and the ambler pierced him. Oh boy, that terror,
Speaker 4: that's terror. Yeah, And this is why I don't drat.
Speaker 6: These are the stories that stick in my mind and
Speaker 6: or why I don't ever want to get behind the wheel.
Speaker 1: Yes, it may because you didn't drive in New York obviously.
Speaker 6: No. I got a license at twenty one just for
Speaker 6: a job I had, But it isn't like, yeah, I
Speaker 6: never really drove.
Speaker 7: After that overwhelming place to learn, even just turning left
Speaker 7: and in an inner section you have to go to
Speaker 7: the outside of town and learn to.
Speaker 6: Don't get me started on these left turns are a
Speaker 6: death sentence.
Speaker 4: It's a death sentence. It's a left turn in Los
Speaker 4: Angeles is a death stone.
Speaker 7: It's ridiculous that I'm even comfortable with them.
Speaker 4: I can't, I can't, I will never.
Speaker 6: And but at the same time I do want, obviously
Speaker 6: the independence and that feeling of like like I always
Speaker 6: feel like such a fucking loser at part like a
Speaker 6: party of event Where'm like, can I.
Speaker 4: Ride back with you?
Speaker 6: You know, like I'm just like girl, you too, Olf,
Speaker 6: It is this is very high school to be.
Speaker 8: You get real close like that, You get like real close,
Speaker 8: you know, do you mind real quicks?
Speaker 4: Like about that?
Speaker 1: Gilse, Well you did. You did get very close to
Speaker 1: my face, So I guess.
Speaker 4: Yes, I guess yes.
Speaker 5: But the beauty part of like of the and it's
Speaker 5: there's also a very bad part about it of like
Speaker 5: the gig economy, but the uber lift element at least
Speaker 5: makes it so that I think so many more people
Speaker 5: take those, you know, those things because then they can drink,
Speaker 5: and it's taking like drinking and driving off the table entirely.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's true.
Speaker 6: I mean, it's not as great now post pandemic, or
Speaker 6: you know, as we kind of at the tail end
Speaker 6: stuff work it out. Yeah, you know people that as
Speaker 6: people should not have, you know, accepted Prop twenty two
Speaker 6: or no of the yes either way to one we
Speaker 6: did was wrong. Yeah, yeah, way, and but you know that. Sorry,
Speaker 6: but the Supreme Court is bouncing up.
Speaker 4: Yep, yep, yeah, I know, thank you God.
Speaker 6: But then also, Carrie, you know it is every time
Speaker 6: I get in a lift, I'm rolling the dice that
Speaker 6: I may be murdered. Okay, yes, when I get in
Speaker 6: that car, before I close the door, I make sure
Speaker 6: to feel the inside to make sure that that handle
Speaker 6: has not been sawn.
Speaker 4: Off, because that's what they can do.
Speaker 6: Yep, yep, Okay, I'm making sure that my locks work.
Speaker 6: Don't you put a child lock on my situation. I'm
Speaker 6: grown and like that's the other layer of it too. Again,
Speaker 6: I've taken so many I am I've lived to tell
Speaker 6: the tale like nothing has happened.
Speaker 4: You know.
Speaker 6: I've had a few, like just either weirdos or a guy.
Speaker 6: I've had a couple of road rage people where it's
Speaker 6: like it shouldn't be doing this work, Like one guy
Speaker 6: literally like swerved and stopped and started yelling at the
Speaker 6: other car, and I was like, I'm gonna get out
Speaker 6: if you're about to start a fight, you know what
Speaker 6: I mean, shouldn't be here if you're gonna fight with him.
Speaker 6: But nothing has happened. But it always just feels like,
Speaker 6: you know, nine times out of ten, the driver's a guy,
Speaker 6: and this person can literally take me anywhere. Yeah, and
Speaker 6: I sure, And it's like, okay, which one is more
Speaker 6: anxiety inducing? Turning left or getting a stranger's car, which
Speaker 6: is exactly what you were taught not to do from
Speaker 6: the age of three.
Speaker 7: Yeah, yeah, I talked to strangers online or get into
Speaker 7: strange cars.
Speaker 1: And now you do it both with one app do it.
Speaker 5: Both voluntarily all the time you pay to do it? Yes,
Speaker 5: which is the one time. So let's all say our
Speaker 5: favorite worst lift or uber stories if you have them.
Speaker 3: Because I just have two quick ones.
Speaker 5: One was a guy immediately put on Christian music and
Speaker 5: tried to sell me The Lord, where I was just like.
Speaker 3: Oh, wow, bro, I've heard about all this stuff, like.
Speaker 5: Don't worry, I know about and but then he just
Speaker 5: kept Christian music blasting the whole time, which was just insane.
Speaker 5: Another time, a guy came and his truck that I
Speaker 5: think was lifted three two four feet off the ground.
Speaker 4: So I had to.
Speaker 5: Like the door open, and I had to grab like
Speaker 5: the inner handle and like pull myself up into kind
Speaker 5: of like a half lifted like truck.
Speaker 3: And it was. And then once I was inside, so I.
Speaker 5: Was like, that was weird, Like what would you do
Speaker 5: if it was a person that couldn't have lifted themselves
Speaker 5: or whatever?
Speaker 3: And then I turned around.
Speaker 5: His mother was in the back seats, like you know,
Speaker 5: therese like a truck with like a little almost like
Speaker 5: jump seats behind. There was a lady behind it was
Speaker 5: I don't I don't know if he was he had
Speaker 5: to keep her with him during the day or she was.
Speaker 5: They were doing it for seeing she was fully alive.
Speaker 5: She was she was alive, and she was thriving in
Speaker 5: that back seat. This was what was beautiful. I think
Speaker 5: that was so nice.
Speaker 4: That's good, that's good.
Speaker 3: Do you guys have do you guys have bad lifts wies?
Speaker 7: Or did I just drive down and remembering suddenly now
Speaker 7: there was a woman that I think was having some
Speaker 7: sort of a mental breakdown.
Speaker 1: She was just being very, very very quiet, and then
Speaker 1: she said.
Speaker 7: I just figured she didn't want to talk, and I
Speaker 7: wasn't making a weird face or anything. And then she said,
Speaker 7: I feel like you're angry with me. And I was like,
Speaker 7: I'm sorry, are you talking to me? She's like, I
Speaker 7: feel uncomfortable and scared of you. I thought she was
Speaker 7: like listening to a yeah, a language tape or something,
Speaker 7: so I was kind of ignoring her like this, but
Speaker 7: I was getting really nervous and I can feel my
Speaker 7: heart racing, and I said, I don't want you to
Speaker 7: feel bad. I why don't you let me out now
Speaker 7: and then we can both feel okay.
Speaker 1: And she did. She let me out of the cabin,
Speaker 1: so I called and I left the message.
Speaker 7: I don't think anyone ever got back to me, but
Speaker 7: she was she should not have been driving, and it
Speaker 7: was scared.
Speaker 1: She was distracted and it seemed like going to wack.
Speaker 7: But the other time, this old guy just introduced me
Speaker 7: to Alan Partridge Roger and we have Alan Parsons, sorry,
Speaker 7: and we listened in my Yeah, I was like.
Speaker 4: The whole family Parsons.
Speaker 3: And watching TV.
Speaker 4: He does stop.
Speaker 1: He hung out for a half hour and just we
Speaker 1: talked about music.
Speaker 7: And he wouldn't leave and it was off the'clock, and
Speaker 7: I was like, I love that guy. I want to
Speaker 7: hang out with that's sixty something year old guy again.
Speaker 7: But again, you have their phone for just one day
Speaker 7: and you can never call them back forever gone.
Speaker 6: I had one recently, one scary so I was I
Speaker 6: was working. I was shooting a small part of the
Speaker 6: show on Staten Island and didn't wrap until like eleven
Speaker 6: eleven thirty pm. They were calling, like the production was
Speaker 6: calling me an uber. So the uber coms I live
Speaker 6: in Harlem. Harlem is Staten Island. When I was getting there,
Speaker 6: it took about forty five minutes, which I was like, oh,
Speaker 6: not so bad. Going back, it was like almost it
Speaker 6: was gonna be like two hours. There was like something
Speaker 6: going on, and then the guy was like, I don't know.
Speaker 6: There was a moment I guess like our wires got crossed.
Speaker 6: He starts to drive into New Jersey. I live in Manhattan.
Speaker 6: It's midnight. I am freaking the fuck out, like I
Speaker 6: just start my heart. Was kind of like, oh my god,
Speaker 6: he's gonna murder me. I was like, it's not even
Speaker 6: an uber on my account.
Speaker 1: A door handle sawt off situation.
Speaker 6: I was like, oh, he's taking me to somebody else.
Speaker 6: Why are we going to another state? Why are we
Speaker 6: going to another state?
Speaker 4: Okay? And then I was like where are we going?
Speaker 4: Like you know, I got I.
Speaker 6: Tried to say something and at one point I called I
Speaker 6: called Andy and I was all like just talking to
Speaker 6: him about something and I was like, yeah, i'll.
Speaker 4: See you did the did our child eat yet? Like
Speaker 4: I wanted him to know I had a family, Like
Speaker 4: I was trying to personalize myself, you know, from him.
Speaker 4: And then literally it was like I'm.
Speaker 6: Terrible at geography and like from Staten Island, I didn't
Speaker 6: I realized that New Jersey is very close and to
Speaker 6: avoid the traffic, we needed to go into.
Speaker 4: Jersey to go up and around.
Speaker 6: Yeah, I was like a good twenty five minutes before
Speaker 6: I realized it. And then when I got and then
Speaker 6: we got there, I go, I'm so sorry.
Speaker 4: I doubted you. Yeah you knew what you were doing.
Speaker 7: Yeah, you know, just because he's a good navigator doesn't
Speaker 7: mean he's not a murderer.
Speaker 4: Well he was also like cold too.
Speaker 6: He was like really like you know, he didn't say anything,
Speaker 6: So it was like already the tone was set in
Speaker 6: a sarky and because it was so late, and I
Speaker 6: was just like, so that was like reasonly. And then
Speaker 6: one time in La I had an older man driving,
Speaker 6: probably in his seventies. I think he even told me that,
Speaker 6: and I was he was picking me up from work
Speaker 6: or taking me to work in the way like universal
Speaker 6: like on the lot or something. And normally I don't
Speaker 6: tell people what I do, but I said, oh, he's
Speaker 6: seventy something, he don't care.
Speaker 4: Yeah, well, well, well.
Speaker 6: As he drives, he proceeds to pull up his wife's
Speaker 6: YouTube videos. Oh, hands me back his phone so I
Speaker 6: could watch his wife because she is a very funny comedian.
Speaker 4: Then he pulls up his reel.
Speaker 6: So now imagine an old man trying to drive and
Speaker 6: search the internet at the same time. Oh boy, And
Speaker 6: then he gives me his phone. I'm like, don't you
Speaker 6: need your phone to know where to take me? Like
Speaker 6: you like directions on it? And he's literally showing him
Speaker 6: and his wife's like they're like acting reels.
Speaker 7: And I was like, oh, this is sir. You should
Speaker 7: keep your phone. You never know when your agent might
Speaker 7: be calling.
Speaker 4: Wait.
Speaker 5: That one was in La. Yeah, of course, oh, thank god.
Speaker 5: It would have been worse if it was if you
Speaker 5: were like a JFK.
Speaker 3: And then then it was like an old cap driver
Speaker 3: that's like, I've got a dream.
Speaker 4: You've got a real I just someone like that.
Speaker 7: There is a senior comedy YouTube market out there.
Speaker 6: I know because he said she started stand up. He's like,
Speaker 6: she just started doing it a couple of years ago.
Speaker 6: She started like a seventy and I was lady, no,
Speaker 6: I don't know.
Speaker 7: They're doing the open mics in Austin would bring out
Speaker 7: when I started there, they'd bring out these characters that
Speaker 7: were really unlikely comics, and there were a few like
Speaker 7: seniors that were like, I've always wanted to do stand up.
Speaker 7: I wrote ten minutes of material and they'd be around
Speaker 7: all year and they'd get really good and then you know,
Speaker 7: of course die but I'm just kidding, or they just
Speaker 7: stop showing up.
Speaker 1: I mean, people die. Let's talk about it.
Speaker 5: No, No, you're right, you're right, it's real. It's a
Speaker 5: real thing in this country. We're afraid of death.
Speaker 4: Yeah, open micers die all the time. Yes, let's face it.
Speaker 1: You can hear them right now.
Speaker 5: Booked comedians, you guys need to face that open micers
Speaker 5: fit are.
Speaker 3: They're at risk in a very real way, the older
Speaker 3: they get, for WORSA. Here's here's what I love on
Speaker 3: this show. Off times.
Speaker 5: We try to keep we try to keep time, and
Speaker 5: every anytime I look, it's always like, well, be like
Speaker 5: halfway done.
Speaker 3: And that's what I thought was going to happen, and.
Speaker 5: We've gone over. Of course with you, of course, I
Speaker 5: love you so much. Name, I are adore you so hilarious.
Speaker 4: And Chris, I adore you now too.
Speaker 7: Yeah, I agnore you as well. I'm glad you I
Speaker 7: did not I thought you were still in New York.
Speaker 7: It's great that you're here. Let's be friends when it's
Speaker 7: safe too.
Speaker 6: Yeah, let's all go meet outside somewhere. Yes, and just yeah,
Speaker 6: I have an iced tea.
Speaker 3: Let's I have an eight year dinner.
Speaker 4: I owe you.
Speaker 5: But still hanging on my personal debt wall, my friendship
Speaker 5: debt wall.
Speaker 3: Oh, it's so long. That was back when I used
Speaker 3: to act like it was. There was a quarantine, but
Speaker 3: it was just at one house.
Speaker 4: Because I you were like, I don't go out.
Speaker 6: I have to meet outside at a safe distance, and
Speaker 6: it was like it's twenty seventeen.
Speaker 3: She's what a visionary she do?
Speaker 4: You do?
Speaker 3: You can feel it? Is there anything you want to plug?
Speaker 5: Oh? You're Comedy Central half hour? When's that gonna air?
Speaker 6: I don't know when the Netflix half hour airs, but
Speaker 6: it will be sumheretime in October, is what we said about.
Speaker 6: I don't have an exact date, but just like, look
Speaker 6: out for it, guys, because I will not stop talking
Speaker 6: about it, so don't worry.
Speaker 4: You'll find out.
Speaker 6: And as always, yes, listen to the pods couple's therapy.
Speaker 6: We're always having fun. Okay, and it's I noticed not
Speaker 6: a ringing endorsement, but it is. We're having fun. Come
Speaker 6: join the fun, call us, ask us your relationship questions.
Speaker 6: I will answer them. Yeah, And I love a Lifetime movie.
Speaker 6: If you don't have to watch the movie still like
Speaker 6: the podcast.
Speaker 5: That's sometimes that's the best thing where if you've seen
Speaker 5: a Lifetime movie, you can throw some some I always
Speaker 5: call them airbuds. You can throw some air buds in
Speaker 5: do the dishes, and it's it's just people hilariously retelling
Speaker 5: you a Lifetime movie essentially and being like, here's what
Speaker 5: is amazing next?
Speaker 3: Like that's the best part about's.
Speaker 7: Familiar with any of them. You already know the plot formula.
Speaker 6: Yeah, exactly, exactly, and you're just having fun with us.
Speaker 6: You know, it's like I watch so you don't have to.
Speaker 6: That's another way to look at it.
Speaker 5: Two amazing comedians watch it so you don't have to,
Speaker 5: and then make it what you wish you could make it.
Speaker 3: As you watch it.
Speaker 7: Next time you're on me, you will be able to
Speaker 7: drive you somewhere when it's convenient.
Speaker 5: So much and save up some errands. Get a little
Speaker 5: list of a united place. Do you need to go
Speaker 5: to the nursery? Do you need to go to the Americana?
Speaker 4: Like? Maybe just go to the vet.
Speaker 6: We'll go to the vet and then we'll sit in
Speaker 6: the parking lot wait for me able to get her
Speaker 6: shots perfect.
Speaker 4: You know that'll give us a good hour. Yeah, I like,
Speaker 4: just wait in the parking lot of Miwawk Alley.
Speaker 5: Just some hot car energy car energy so good for.
Speaker 4: Carson energy too.
Speaker 3: Oh I love that, very similar energies.
Speaker 1: Thank you for being here, Naomi, You're terrific.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that was awesome.
Speaker 4: Thank you so much.
Speaker 1: You have been listening to Do you need a ride?
Speaker 3: D y n A A? Are are you leaving on
Speaker 3: you on your way back home.
Speaker 7: Either way, we want to be.
Speaker 2: There, doesn't matter how much baggage you claim and give
Speaker 2: us time and they termino and gay.
Speaker 3: We want to send you off InStyle. You wanna welcome
Speaker 3: you back home.
Speaker 2: Tell us all about it.
Speaker 4: We scared her?
Speaker 3: Was it fine?
Speaker 5: Malforn?
Speaker 3: Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?
Speaker 1: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 3: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 4: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 2: Do you need ride?
Speaker 1: Do you ride? Do you mean with Karen and chriss
Speaker 5: Mm hmm, yeah, you'll never make the cheerleading squad now,
Speaker 5: Stephen bad news