Speaker 1: Hell, I Suck at Dating with Dean, Vanessa and Jared
Speaker 1: and I Heart Radio podcasts. What is up, sucky daters.
Speaker 1: We are coming at you live from Planet Hollywood, Las Vegas.
Speaker 1: Just me and Jared are out here broadcasting from a
Speaker 1: hotel room, sitting on our couch, crossing our legs with
Speaker 1: the like real men do. With the I Heart crew,
Speaker 1: we're here with Ben and Ashley and Becca Antania Wells
Speaker 1: and not Stephanie Pratt's. But if you have a chance,
Speaker 1: check out their podcasts. They're all great, and they're all
Speaker 1: on I Heart Radio as well. And we have a
Speaker 1: guest coming on who is starting a new our Heart
Speaker 1: Radio podcast, which you should obviously tune into as well.
Speaker 1: I guess we'll just tease that. Yeah, tell them, tell
Speaker 1: us about that. I can't tell you about if I'm
Speaker 1: going to tease it. Okay, you're right, Jared, listening with you? Man?
Speaker 1: How are you? Things are good? How? How are things
Speaker 1: with you? Dean? How are things with Klin? You guys
Speaker 1: are I guess this is the boyfriend girlfriend you guys
Speaker 1: are in a relationship. Yeah, this is the first episode
Speaker 1: that we've recorded post Bachelor in Paradise. Yeah, so I
Speaker 1: can finally be a percent transparent on everything. Yeah, why
Speaker 1: don't we talk about that all episode? Yeah, that makes
Speaker 1: perfect sense to me. It makes kind of good sense
Speaker 1: to me too. Yeah, So how is relationship life? I
Speaker 1: mean it's been good. Um, well, obviously, like we've that
Speaker 1: sounds promising, it's good. We're taking one out of time.
Speaker 1: It's funny because like we've obviously been known to be
Speaker 1: in a relationship for a long time, Like we got
Speaker 1: sniped pictures a couple of times when you're in Italy
Speaker 1: and then like on planes and then in Venice, and
Speaker 1: so it's like it's been you're just so famous, we're
Speaker 1: like really freaking famous, and it kind of was, you know,
Speaker 1: everybody wants to take pictures of you, but it's pretty crazzy.
Speaker 1: It's pretty challenging sometimes when you're just this famous, popular
Speaker 1: and like everyone cool taste of you, but you don't
Speaker 1: have that many tastes to give out. No, you're only
Speaker 1: one man, only one lollipop. I only be like so
Speaker 1: many times, you know what I mean, Yeah, until you
Speaker 1: get to the center, right and then you find out
Speaker 1: that nothing is actually there, Yeah, and then you have
Speaker 1: no heart. But no, we can finally be in a relationship,
Speaker 1: which is great. I can finally like, well, we can
Speaker 1: finally start posting each other on our stories, like when
Speaker 1: we're hanging out. Do you have any videos old videos
Speaker 1: that you took when you guys were supposed to be
Speaker 1: a secret couple. We're going to post And I've been
Speaker 1: meaning to do this actually, just like running through all
Speaker 1: of my old UM photos and like posting them on
Speaker 1: my story tell the old dial tone here on help
Speaker 1: I second danting and like catching people up on what
Speaker 1: what we've been doing before we could really share anything.
Speaker 1: But I have not really got around to that yet.
Speaker 1: Maybe I'll do it, maybe I Well, we saw on
Speaker 1: the end of Bachelor in Paradise the after credits you
Speaker 1: did a MTV Cribs style of your van, which it
Speaker 1: wasn't a very long episode. It's a small space. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it was getting bigger van or something. No, I think
Speaker 1: the van is great. I'm just saying, you know, it's
Speaker 1: probably what hundred how many square feet is your van?
Speaker 1: I almost gave yeah, I almost said a hundred and
Speaker 1: fifty and as the words were leaving my mouth, I'm
Speaker 1: an idiot. Um. That video originally was like three or
Speaker 1: four minutes long. We cut it down for a minute.
Speaker 1: And actually I didn't see the credits. Uh. I saw
Speaker 1: what she posted on her story, which I assume the
Speaker 1: same same thing, right, and so it's quite you're very crafty.
Speaker 1: You made those drawers. Do you say drawers or drawings?
Speaker 1: It's eighty six square feet. By the way, how do
Speaker 1: you know that? I googled it, K how many cubic
Speaker 1: feet do we have? We're working with man, I gotta
Speaker 1: do some math on that. Just maybe check the height
Speaker 1: and then multiply the square feet by the height and
Speaker 1: that gives its cubic feet. Because that's pretty That's an
Speaker 1: important thing, right, Like normal house, you've got like a
Speaker 1: ten foot tall ceiling, but in my van, it's a
Speaker 1: six ft tall ceiling, so the cubic feet is going
Speaker 1: to be less than a one normal forty eight foot
Speaker 1: square Well, would you say within the van world that
Speaker 1: your van has vaulted ceilings? I mean it's a high top.
Speaker 1: It's a very high top. Vaulted ceilings. I got and
Speaker 1: actually get like hindeli or something to hang from it. Um. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so we did be a ceiling fan. We did the
Speaker 1: credits thing, which was you know that was a fun
Speaker 1: little that was like by the only word I said
Speaker 1: all Paradise Reunion van um, just like the red credits,
Speaker 1: Like I didn't really say anything the entire episode, you know,
Speaker 1: I don't know. Yeah, they didn't show you saying anything.
Speaker 1: I didn't. I didn't say anything. You really didn't know,
Speaker 1: Like I didn't really have anything to chime in on.
Speaker 1: Like there was the whole Like obviously Blake was up there,
Speaker 1: I said in my piece with Blake, and then um,
Speaker 1: like Clay was on the hot seat, didn't air him
Speaker 1: from what I understand, and like Dylan was up there,
Speaker 1: Tasso was up there, Uh, Katie and Chris were up there.
Speaker 1: But like I'm not gonna like trip in and like say,
Speaker 1: like Jordan and Christian were fighting, I was like holding
Speaker 1: Jordan's I'm sorry I was holding Christian back a couple
Speaker 1: of times. I was like, just sit down, Like who cares,
Speaker 1: No one cares to sit down. Don't fight him. You're
Speaker 1: not gonna fight him. Um. I was like very silent
Speaker 1: and actually was the first time in all four shows
Speaker 1: that I've done that I didn't have a hot seat.
Speaker 1: I don't know like if I should be offended or
Speaker 1: if I should be happy about that. Are you trying
Speaker 1: to say your old news now? It was just a
Speaker 1: weird feeling like I was cared about less this season.
Speaker 1: Why doesn't everybody care about me? Yes, I don't know.
Speaker 1: I'm used to being cared about. This is the first
Speaker 1: time I haven't been cared about. Well, you are very
Speaker 1: cared about, to the point where I have a question
Speaker 1: for you, because I have been being asked this question
Speaker 1: for the past few days numerous times. So you wore
Speaker 1: a sweet, sweet salmon jacket, and then it was very
Speaker 1: noticeable that you had a necktie on with a medallion
Speaker 1: that had a sea on it, and everybody is curious.
Speaker 1: Everybody in the world who's taking pictures of you, from
Speaker 1: Venice to Kelly, wants to know, Dean, did the sea
Speaker 1: stand for Kalin? Well, first and foremost, it's called the
Speaker 1: bolo tie. I don't know what it's called the necklace
Speaker 1: with the medallion. It's a necklace, it's around your neck.
Speaker 1: It has a medallion. Um, but what you are in
Speaker 1: this case because it's called the bolot type? Blow got it?
Speaker 1: He learned something new. Every day was for Chris Harrison.
Speaker 1: And I don't know why anyone would think it was
Speaker 1: for anything else than that. Oh, I don't know, maybe
Speaker 1: for your girlfriend. Oh yeah, it's got double meaning for
Speaker 1: her too. Yeah. So actually ordered to like the day
Speaker 1: of one for Chris for calin No, I ordered one
Speaker 1: that was like a sick big elk head with sweet
Speaker 1: huge antlers and it was like really large, and I
Speaker 1: was like, this thing is so cool and I want
Speaker 1: to wear it so bad, and it was like this
Speaker 1: copper color is so sick. But then I got to
Speaker 1: see one as well as like this could be like
Speaker 1: a fun gesture to wear for Caylin obviously, and I
Speaker 1: brought both of them to the reunion um Hotel sweet
Speaker 1: that we were saying, and before the show, and like
Speaker 1: even at the very last second, I was like, this
Speaker 1: one's so cool, but this one so much sweeter. So
Speaker 1: I don't know which one to wear. So I'm gonna
Speaker 1: say I reserved the elk head for um a later
Speaker 1: time perhaps, But yeah, the sea was for Kylin. Um,
Speaker 1: well that's so sweet. Yeah, I'm a pretty thoughtful guy.
Speaker 1: Well you can just wear the elk head. Uh maybe
Speaker 1: your wedding, shut up, maybe at the red carpet here
Speaker 1: in um Las Vegas. Yeah, And then you can give
Speaker 1: the back story. I think everybody would love to you.
Speaker 1: Although I did not bring it. Um, well, that proposed
Speaker 1: a problem obviously, right I did. I only brought really
Speaker 1: one outfit. So I'm just gonna be wearing the same
Speaker 1: thing every single night, the shorts you're currently wearing. Um,
Speaker 1: I brought these inner pair of jeans that I wore
Speaker 1: last night that you'll see me in, um every night
Speaker 1: from here on out it Las Vegas? Are you going
Speaker 1: where your beanie all week? Um? I'm gonna wear my
Speaker 1: bucket hat that Calin actually got me from the Cayman
Speaker 1: Islands and I put my lucky feather in it. Lucky.
Speaker 1: Why is this feather lucky? I don't know. I just
Speaker 1: found it when I was in Utah and I just
Speaker 1: called I dubbed it my lucky feather. From this point,
Speaker 1: for how long have you had this feather? A week?
Speaker 1: Has it brought you luck? Um? Actually, now I dislocated
Speaker 1: my shoulder on Sunday, I'd get rid of the feather,
Speaker 1: So no, it's been pretty unlucky. Um. So what else
Speaker 1: is happening since the show? So have you guys? You
Speaker 1: guys have been traveling a lot. Well, this is the
Speaker 1: first time I've seen Caylin since uh, like it two
Speaker 1: weeks ago. Wait, so Vegas is we're currently recording in
Speaker 1: Planet Hollywood at Las Vegas, and this is the first
Speaker 1: time you're seeing Calin in two weeks something like that,
Speaker 1: maybe like ten or eleven days. So you guys certainly
Speaker 1: give each other, uh your individuality. Yeah, I mean I
Speaker 1: kind of encourage us to take our space from each other.
Speaker 1: She was so like I was in Los Angeles and
Speaker 1: we were like hanging out there. Obviously I was there
Speaker 1: for a couple of days. I think it was actually
Speaker 1: after the reunion show. It could have been anyways. And
Speaker 1: then now that doesn't make sense timeywise, and then I
Speaker 1: drove out to Denver and like stopped in Utah to
Speaker 1: rock climb for a couple of days, went to dinner
Speaker 1: for a Broncos game, and then went back to you
Speaker 1: taught the rock climb for a couple of days. And
Speaker 1: obviously she's not gonna come with me on those trips.
Speaker 1: Why not, She's not gonna rock climb. She doesn't want
Speaker 1: to just sit in my van while we're out like
Speaker 1: climbing rocks. There are other um adventures that she would
Speaker 1: like to go on that. You could bring her. Maybe
Speaker 1: not rock climbing, but she there's indoor rock climbing. That's
Speaker 1: a lot of fun for a couple. Yeah, but I'm
Speaker 1: not gonna drive my van to like an indoor rock
Speaker 1: climbing gym. Could be fun. You're not wrong. You want
Speaker 1: a double date. We could both go there. I've totally done.
Speaker 1: I've done it once. Very stressful on the forearms, in
Speaker 1: the hands. The good pump you get, it's a great pump.
Speaker 1: I would love to see Ashley try to do that,
Speaker 1: and I would love to see Klin trying to do
Speaker 1: that too. I think could be hilarious. Yeah, until dumb,
Speaker 1: let's do it. Honestly, women are more often than not
Speaker 1: better rock climbers than men, just because the way that
Speaker 1: they're like their weight is distributed, and like their weight
Speaker 1: to power ratio is typically stronger than like a man's.
Speaker 1: Really sometimes I don't know anyways, our next adventure, we
Speaker 1: are so the vans in Denver. Now I fled to Egypt. Next,
Speaker 1: I fled Egypt on Monday. What are you doing in Egypt?
Speaker 1: I just always wanted to go. Yeah, you're gonna go
Speaker 1: see the pyramids? Um so I'm going by myself to Egypt,
Speaker 1: and then I get back from Egypt, we are going
Speaker 1: to my best friend's sister's wedding in Hawaii where Caylin
Speaker 1: are going to that. And then when we get back
Speaker 1: from that, Caitlin's best friend is getting married in Arizona,
Speaker 1: so we're going to take the van from Denver to
Speaker 1: Arizona nice and do that. So it sounds like things
Speaker 1: are going pretty well. I mean, yeah, I don't think
Speaker 1: that they're not going well. No, that's great, that's good
Speaker 1: to hear. We're all very happy for you, that's all
Speaker 1: I'm asking. Um, No, it's been good. Like I said before,
Speaker 1: it was it must be weird for you because you're
Speaker 1: in such a public relationship. But I know that you
Speaker 1: guys are still you know, you're still in the early
Speaker 1: stages of dating. So I think, even for myself, we're
Speaker 1: you're always enquiring for more because it from a viewer standpoint,
Speaker 1: we've seen you guys go through so much already, Like
Speaker 1: a week in Paradise really isn't that long, but in
Speaker 1: that world, it is long. And then you left and
Speaker 1: then did this big, grand romantic gesture and won her back,
Speaker 1: and so I think everybody from an audience standpoints like, oh, yeah,
Speaker 1: they're they're going really strong. They are a solid relationships.
Speaker 1: Not to say you guys aren't, but it's just still
Speaker 1: so early. It's funny to hear like how critical people
Speaker 1: are of like the things that I'm saying and doing
Speaker 1: in the relationship. Like Cayleen and I have been dating
Speaker 1: for two months and like, I haven't. I don't. I
Speaker 1: haven't fallen in love with her, right, And people on
Speaker 1: the internet are like, oh my god, he's such a dick.
Speaker 1: He doesn't love his girlfriend. And I'm like, I've been
Speaker 1: dating her for two months. Yeah, not to be a jerk,
Speaker 1: I doubt she's falling in love with you too. She's
Speaker 1: she's way in love with me, and that makes sense actually,
Speaker 1: Like um, even like on the video that she posted
Speaker 1: when we finally, finally can announced yourselves as a couple.
Speaker 1: In the last video, she goes like, that's when you
Speaker 1: fell in love with me, and I didn't respond and
Speaker 1: I was just like we were joking obviously, and people
Speaker 1: in the comments were like, oh my gosh, you need
Speaker 1: to find a man that tells you he loves you, etcetera, etcetera,
Speaker 1: and I was like reading those comments just because like
Speaker 1: it's funny to me to read them, and I'm like,
Speaker 1: I've we've been dating for two months. I don't think
Speaker 1: it's that strange that I'm not in love with her yet.
Speaker 1: Then vice versa, she probably honestly really isn't in love
Speaker 1: with me. It's just like, it's it's so silly that
Speaker 1: people are like, especially sorry to interrupt you, it's really funny.
Speaker 1: Is the van thing? People are like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: Calin can't live in a van. She's not van of
Speaker 1: like equipped or like equipped to handle that. And my
Speaker 1: response to that in my head is always she's not
Speaker 1: living in the van. Yeah, and she's not going to
Speaker 1: live in She has a very nice apartment in West
Speaker 1: Hollywood that she lives in and she like sometimes takes
Speaker 1: trips with me in the van to places. Well. I
Speaker 1: guess the question is for you guys going forward, do
Speaker 1: you how long do you see yourself living in the
Speaker 1: van because this is a choice by you because you
Speaker 1: wanted to really experience that lifestyle and see what it
Speaker 1: was all about and travel, and so do you see
Speaker 1: yourself living in the van for a long center period
Speaker 1: of time or do you see this more of a
Speaker 1: short term over the next couple of months, and then
Speaker 1: most likely will be getting back into the normalcy of,
Speaker 1: you know, living in an apartment in Los Angeles. I mean,
Speaker 1: it's going low enough to the point where I don't
Speaker 1: foresee it ending anytime soon. I probably will if I
Speaker 1: can make it till next June. That's great. That's kind
Speaker 1: of what I'm setting my sights on. But honestly, like,
Speaker 1: I don't have any reason to want to move back
Speaker 1: into an apartment. Do you ever not feel safe? I
Speaker 1: think my paranoia would take off, and I've got a
Speaker 1: gun to protect myself. Yeah, I don't think there's a
Speaker 1: I don't think it's appropriate to talk about guns. It's
Speaker 1: not inappropriate. But I mean, I don't care if you
Speaker 1: want to get If you're listening to this and you're
Speaker 1: getting upset with me for owning a gun, um, that's
Speaker 1: very much your right to be upset with me. But
Speaker 1: also I hope you know that I went through the
Speaker 1: proper procedures to own the gun. It is a single
Speaker 1: uh handgun. It's not like the fully automatic rifles like
Speaker 1: that's where the gun of coursitions should be taken into account.
Speaker 1: I'm all for gun ownership. I just I'm all for
Speaker 1: responsible gun ownership. And one thing, Dean, you remembery you
Speaker 1: saying how surprisingly easy it was for you to get that,
Speaker 1: And I think that's a comment on the state of
Speaker 1: our system, especially in the state of California. California in
Speaker 1: America might be the most difficult state to get a gun,
Speaker 1: and it was still incredibly easy. I think that's a problem.
Speaker 1: Someone tweeted at me because they listened to Las Week's
Speaker 1: episode and they said something along the lines of they
Speaker 1: were shocked at how easy I made it sound because
Speaker 1: they were Canadian and how difficult it is to get
Speaker 1: a gun in Canada. Um. And like, I don't know
Speaker 1: enough about any of this stuff, like gun legislation or
Speaker 1: all that stuff to really have like a strong opinion
Speaker 1: of it. I do know that there needs to be
Speaker 1: things that need to be addressed and fixed, because obviously
Speaker 1: you see all of this horrible, horrible things that happened. Um.
Speaker 1: But it's like I think that just because like I'm
Speaker 1: some super liberal progressive doesn't mean that I can't own
Speaker 1: a gun to protect myself here. No, oh, of course.
Speaker 1: And I was never alluding to that. I just met
Speaker 1: in terms of the overall theme of this podcast, But
Speaker 1: I don't think that's I don't think it's inappropriate to
Speaker 1: talk about because like it's it's life. You know, I
Speaker 1: have a gun. I'm not gonna lie about not having
Speaker 1: a gun. I also think it's it's appropriate to talk
Speaker 1: about just because of the state of our our society
Speaker 1: right now in this country and how many mass shootings
Speaker 1: there are. I think there needs to be more conversation
Speaker 1: about gun control and the uh you know, possible changes
Speaker 1: that need to come within it um, even on a
Speaker 1: platform like help By such a Dating because unfortunately, you know,
Speaker 1: you see a lot of a lot of bad things
Speaker 1: overflowing into a lot of different areas of life today.
Speaker 1: But we don't need to continue to talk about that,
Speaker 1: because I know this podcast is supposed to be an
Speaker 1: escape for a lot of people and having fun. Uh.
Speaker 1: So we do have a very special guest coming up
Speaker 1: uh that has a brand new I Heart Radio podcast
Speaker 1: that you will be able to listen to coming out
Speaker 1: this week. But before we talked to her, let's take
Speaker 1: a little break. Welcome back to Help I Suck a
Speaker 1: Dating live from Planet Hollywood, Loss Vegas. I love that
Speaker 1: we say live, because it's definitely not right now. I
Speaker 1: say it too, we're living it now, but it's definitely
Speaker 1: not being broadcast live. It's always more fun to say live,
Speaker 1: as if I did the same thing at the top
Speaker 1: of the episode and I thought it back and I
Speaker 1: was like, what I say live, we're not live. It
Speaker 1: reminds me of when they're covering Times Square, what is
Speaker 1: it the it's the whatever? The show on time for
Speaker 1: New Year's Eve, the New Year's Eve Rock And yeah,
Speaker 1: they're always like live from Times Square, And I think
Speaker 1: it's just it's cool to say. Anyway, moving forward, we
Speaker 1: have very special guests sitting with us on the couch
Speaker 1: I Planet Hollywood, um not recording live. We have Teddy
Speaker 1: Mellencamp joining us. Now you might know Teddy from the
Speaker 1: Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Teddy, thank you so much
Speaker 1: for joining us. Oh thanks for having me of course. Congratulations.
Speaker 1: By the way, you were pregnant with your third child. Yes,
Speaker 1: you know, pregnant in Vegas. It's really it's really where
Speaker 1: it's at. Yeah, where else would you want to be.
Speaker 1: I woke up this morning, I'm like, why do I
Speaker 1: feel hungover? I haven't had one drink. I'm like, oh,
Speaker 1: it's just being in Vegas. There's breathing the air of
Speaker 1: everybody's second hand smoke. Well, last year we had Joanna
Speaker 1: was here pregnant. Joanna was pregnant, yep, and now carrying
Speaker 1: on the tradition, Yeah, you know, I got to have
Speaker 1: one little heart baby coming around. Yeah, that's the only
Speaker 1: reason you hear, because you were pregnantic. I had to.
Speaker 1: They're like, oh, I gotta finish this. So you're on
Speaker 1: Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and you're also starting a
Speaker 1: podcast with I Heart Radio. I'm starting a podcast about
Speaker 1: going down the rabbit hole? What does that mean? Okay,
Speaker 1: So example, I'll start with you. So I watched Bachelor
Speaker 1: in Paradise, and so casually I'll like go onto y'all's
Speaker 1: Instagram and then I don't even know what happens, but
Speaker 1: I find myself forty five minutes later on like your
Speaker 1: Aunt's brother, Sisters, Dogs page, and I'm like, how did
Speaker 1: I get here? And why do I care? So it's
Speaker 1: really about any kind of topic that's currently going on,
Speaker 1: digging deep and finding out all the information and then
Speaker 1: getting the specialists on to talk about very cool I
Speaker 1: like that, and how did you get involved with that?
Speaker 1: Because it's like, I don't know, it seems like a
Speaker 1: very interesting thing for me specifically, I've had this experience
Speaker 1: when I first got my first motorcycle. I was like
Speaker 1: looking up motorcycle crashes, fatal motorcycle crashes, and then all
Speaker 1: of a sudden, I was watching like hummingbirds eating out
Speaker 1: right plan you go down the rabbit hole of YouTube,
Speaker 1: But like you know, it's just it's a very good
Speaker 1: it's a great concept because I realized it was something
Speaker 1: that I actually do. Like I'll lay in bed at night,
Speaker 1: I'll be like, I'm just going to go to sleep,
Speaker 1: and then I'll start slowly and then I'll just have
Speaker 1: gotten into a deep situation and I'm like I need
Speaker 1: to know more, and then I like need to talk
Speaker 1: to doctors and specialist and somebody that actually does it
Speaker 1: so I can have every little crumb I don't I
Speaker 1: don't want to miss it. Is there anything that you
Speaker 1: want to learn more about? Specifically? Is there one thing
Speaker 1: like this is why I'm starting the podcast. No, it's everything.
Speaker 1: I think that's the beauty of it. It doesn't matter
Speaker 1: if I'm watching reality television show or it's a serial killer,
Speaker 1: or it's about narcissism. I just want to know what
Speaker 1: kind of what's your favorite reality television show. There's a
Speaker 1: right answer here. I hate to say about its Bachelor Paradise.
Speaker 1: I know, I know it's like and now that you
Speaker 1: guys are here, I'm like, oh my gosh, I can't. Well,
Speaker 1: I do watch my arts, like my season, because I've
Speaker 1: watched all of the season. I actually used to be
Speaker 1: it used to be Bachelor for me, and then I
Speaker 1: just switched the last couple of seasons. I haven't done
Speaker 1: Bachelor's Bachelor. I can sense a little bit of nervousness
Speaker 1: for me right now. I just want you to know
Speaker 1: we're normal people. I mean, we're kind of a big deal. Well,
Speaker 1: I've already made all of my decisions and now it's
Speaker 1: just hard. Well, hey, it's an honor, honestly, it really is.
Speaker 1: Um So, when does the podcast like come out? Have
Speaker 1: you been working on it or is it one of
Speaker 1: these things that's going to start pretty soon? It comes
Speaker 1: out Tuesday? Tuesday. Teddy Teapod Teddy Teapod love that name.
Speaker 1: So is it like spilling the tea? That's why Teddy
Speaker 1: Tea pod. You're getting the tea every week? You know
Speaker 1: I got it? Did you get that? My mind still
Speaker 1: just goes somewhere it shouldn't go. It goes to the
Speaker 1: tea bag, and and I know I shouldn't say. That
Speaker 1: would be a whole another podcast. Honestly, there could be
Speaker 1: an entire episode. Well, my first podcast was all about
Speaker 1: swinging and open marriage and to sucking. Tell us about
Speaker 1: to I heard about the toast sucking. Oh I'm deep,
Speaker 1: and so apparently it's about somebody or shipping your feet.
Speaker 1: It's a it's a fetish. Yeah, can I can? I?
Speaker 1: I think it's the dominant factor. Can I ask you guys,
Speaker 1: do either of you suck toes or have you ever
Speaker 1: had it done? I've never done or sucked at all, neither.
Speaker 1: But I do have this one person that consistently dms
Speaker 1: me anytime my foot is like in an Instagram and
Speaker 1: he goes, you've got some nice big feet. I guess
Speaker 1: they're a pretty normal size. No, I don't know. I
Speaker 1: got a message saying that this person would pay me
Speaker 1: fifty dollars for a photo of my feet, But did
Speaker 1: you send them? I did not. I haven't responded yet.
Speaker 1: Maybe I should I get a lot of show me
Speaker 1: more of those feet. And I'm like, come on, come on, man, like,
Speaker 1: I'm probably gonna put more pictures of my feet, and
Speaker 1: now I feel weird about it. There's a complete website
Speaker 1: dedicated to showing your feet. Yeah, like, I'm sure if
Speaker 1: you typed in your name your feet and and here.
Speaker 1: Look we're not king shaman here, like, if you you're
Speaker 1: in defeat, that's fine. I'm not in feet. I'm sorry. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I have like hair on my big toes. Yes, I'm
Speaker 1: trying not to notice that you have sandals on right now. Mandals,
Speaker 1: I can't look. I just got my cut my two
Speaker 1: days ago. This is too close. I can't mandals ros
Speaker 1: I think they're Harry look like topics. Yeah, the male
Speaker 1: body you want you want to bust you guys in
Speaker 1: your podcast. Because I feel like this is going pretty well.
Speaker 1: I feel like we can go down some rabbit hole.
Speaker 1: And honestly, I'm a litt selfconciou about putting my feet,
Speaker 1: like anywhere you can move those over away, just put
Speaker 1: them away. I think that could be appropriate for us
Speaker 1: to speak about as well, because it's a dating podcast,
Speaker 1: Like let's say you're dating someone and then all of
Speaker 1: a sudden, you've been getting to get intimate with them,
Speaker 1: turns out their big toe suckers. Apparently, according to the
Speaker 1: Fetish Lady, you should express that you want it from
Speaker 1: the beginning because you want to find a partner that's
Speaker 1: also into us. So this is like this is well,
Speaker 1: isn't so into it? It's like a make or break deal,
Speaker 1: like you have to suck toes otherwise you're not getting
Speaker 1: your I guess it gives you like the best. Oh well,
Speaker 1: relationships are all about compromise, you guys, almost ten years
Speaker 1: if my husband asked me to suck his feet, I'd
Speaker 1: be like, honestly, there's the dark. What if he wanted
Speaker 1: to suck your feet? Then I would think he was
Speaker 1: a lunatic. Like no, I get if you like it,
Speaker 1: but I mean, especially now to mention it this late
Speaker 1: in the game, like now you're interested in my closet
Speaker 1: toe sucker for ten years, like you've just been waiting
Speaker 1: for the right moment to tell me. I guess it
Speaker 1: would depend finally, trust you, I gotta tell you secret.
Speaker 1: I guess it would depend on the level of toe sucking,
Speaker 1: Like do they want to suck for like five minutes,
Speaker 1: or they want a little taste. If they want to taste,
Speaker 1: that's worrisome. I don't think it's about taste, well, not
Speaker 1: like taste in general. But I'm using it as to
Speaker 1: describe the nerve endings. But I think it's if you
Speaker 1: want to suck someone's toes, where do you? What is that?
Speaker 1: How does that appeal to you? I want the listener's opinion.
Speaker 1: If you have some weird fetish or if you've dated
Speaker 1: someone with a weird fetish, email us at I Suck
Speaker 1: at Dating at iHeart media dot com. We want to
Speaker 1: hear your weird fetishes. If it sucking toes, if it's
Speaker 1: what's what's the other weird once we can ring off
Speaker 1: real quick. There's some people that are like extremely obsessed
Speaker 1: with like hand sanitizer, but like they need to sanitize
Speaker 1: people's full bodies and that's like a sexual thing. Yes,
Speaker 1: like the cleanliness, like they need them to be clean
Speaker 1: to that level. I don't know if that applies in
Speaker 1: the What about the one where you put on all
Speaker 1: of the skin tight plastic. Uh you have to use
Speaker 1: like powder to get in those things? Yeah? You about this, guys,
Speaker 1: I have gone down a lot of rabbit holes. I'm
Speaker 1: not an expert in any of them. I'm actually, I
Speaker 1: would say, because I see it all the time on
Speaker 1: barstool sports, I'm going to say it eating would be
Speaker 1: an interesting fetish. I actually have a friend her Her
Speaker 1: husband loves her to eat her. Oh he gets yes.
Speaker 1: Usually I'm like your good wife, because no, thank you
Speaker 1: so much. Good for them. Honestly, you know, hey, I
Speaker 1: couldn't believe she told me. Actually, I was like, I'm
Speaker 1: not sure. I can never look at him again. I'm
Speaker 1: sure you didn't. But Knicks podcast last week, I was
Speaker 1: talking about my sexual life in my um the things
Speaker 1: that I'm into, and I'm basically just straight missionary for
Speaker 1: two to six minutes with the lights off, and I
Speaker 1: wanted to be silent the whole time. So you make
Speaker 1: it through one song? Yeah, well maybe like half a song.
Speaker 1: It's it's so interesting because I'm sure that girls that
Speaker 1: look at you think, wow, he must be Its like,
Speaker 1: he's so handsome and charismatic, he must be crazy behind
Speaker 1: closed doors. Depend so many drinks you put and then yeah,
Speaker 1: and then you find out nope, he just two to
Speaker 1: six minutes, lights off, nobody speaks missionary and we're done,
Speaker 1: and then we don't talk about it for a week
Speaker 1: after and I don't look at you, what what are
Speaker 1: you weirdly into Jared weirdly into sexually with your dean?
Speaker 1: I don't talk I'm married. I don't talk about my
Speaker 1: sex and left to ask, uh, we you know, uh,
Speaker 1: we try some different things, dude. Yeah, that's kind of
Speaker 1: the fun thing about being married. I'm sure Teddy could
Speaker 1: attest this too. It's like once you are fully like
Speaker 1: committed in the relationship. Obviously you guys were committed in
Speaker 1: you relationships before getting married, but like you can like
Speaker 1: start start spicing it up and getting interesting and like
Speaker 1: getting kinky with some uff I bet well. I think
Speaker 1: the um when you first start exploring each other and
Speaker 1: then you have that conversation of hey, you know, no, roof,
Speaker 1: let's just talk what are you really into? Like what
Speaker 1: do you want? And I think that's the most fun
Speaker 1: because then you could be honest and conversations change whether
Speaker 1: you're drinking or not. Like I had conversations with my
Speaker 1: husband at the beginning when we were dating, and we'd
Speaker 1: be drinking and be like, oh yeah, totally be down
Speaker 1: for that, and then like the morning comes just so
Speaker 1: you know, like I wouldn't actually be down for that idea.
Speaker 1: Why like where I was blacked out until until the
Speaker 1: next time you're blacked out and you're like, you know what,
Speaker 1: let's do it, come on, let's try it out. Um,
Speaker 1: but no, Yeah, I've had that this you know actually,
Speaker 1: and I've had those conversations sober. Yeah. Yeah, I think
Speaker 1: that's fun being like because I like, I like I
Speaker 1: like telling you know, I like telling her like, hey,
Speaker 1: this is this is kind of what I like. I
Speaker 1: think it's kind of fun. It's the victory of finding
Speaker 1: out like I'm her awkward. Yeah, they'll let use the
Speaker 1: actual female to pretend to be your wife. That's that
Speaker 1: probably would make it worse. Stick with you, yeah, just
Speaker 1: staring attended met you five minutes ago, and this is
Speaker 1: what I like sexual, you know what, I'm going to
Speaker 1: be vulnerable with you right now. Um, so what other
Speaker 1: fetishes have you? Guys started about you talking about swinging. Well,
Speaker 1: I learned the difference between swinging and open marriage. And
Speaker 1: what's the difference. So swinging is you go as a
Speaker 1: couple and you decide together to swing and like you're
Speaker 1: watching it. It's a group activity. There's clubs, things like that.
Speaker 1: And then open marriage, which is where I kind of
Speaker 1: have an issue understanding. Most of the time happens after
Speaker 1: like your husband cheats on you or something, and then
Speaker 1: he's like, well you want to be together, Uh, we've
Speaker 1: got to have an open marriage, which means he's free
Speaker 1: to do what he wants, she's free to do what
Speaker 1: she wants. But I just think that's a whole messy situation.
Speaker 1: That's yeah, that creates a lot of It's one thing
Speaker 1: if you start your relationship like that, you're like, hey, listen,
Speaker 1: this is what I'm meant to blah blah blah. But
Speaker 1: if it's after something bad happens and they're like, this
Speaker 1: is the only way we're going to stay together, I'd
Speaker 1: be like, then you make an interesting point. I think
Speaker 1: that's worth noting that if you're in a committed, monogamous relationship,
Speaker 1: it would be weird to transition from that to an
Speaker 1: open relationship. But if you start in an open relationship,
Speaker 1: it's different. Yeah, Immediately the expectations are, this is who
Speaker 1: I am, and if you want to be with me
Speaker 1: this way, it's really kind of on you. But if
Speaker 1: it's I'm gonna marry, I'm gonna be with you the
Speaker 1: rest of our lives. And then three years down the
Speaker 1: road your board and you're like, hey, you know what,
Speaker 1: I want to be able to sleep with other people,
Speaker 1: and you know what I can tell you or not
Speaker 1: tell you will come up with our own rules, and
Speaker 1: you too, what are your thoughts on threesomes? That because
Speaker 1: I just read an article. I didn't read the article,
Speaker 1: just read the headline. You didn't go down the rabbit hole, Jerry. Well,
Speaker 1: there's this whole Demi Moore thing. I don't know if
Speaker 1: you've been hearing about this, because she wrote a book
Speaker 1: describing her relationships in the past. It's like an autobiography,
Speaker 1: and there's an article that said that the reason that
Speaker 1: her Nation Kitcher ended was because they started having threesomes. Well,
Speaker 1: I think at first it could probably be fine, or
Speaker 1: if it maybe happened one time with one person or
Speaker 1: one time with multiple people. But I think if you
Speaker 1: do it a couple of times, it's impossible for one
Speaker 1: person not to get jealous, one person to feel left out,
Speaker 1: or I would start to notice like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: my husband is looking at her in a different way
Speaker 1: than he's ever looked at me. I would start over analyzing.
Speaker 1: There's no way jealousy doesn't come. It's impossible. And if
Speaker 1: you're that person that's like, I've never been jealous a
Speaker 1: day of my life, well then you're a liar, like
Speaker 1: come on yeah, or you really don't care. So I
Speaker 1: just think, yes, maybe for fun a couple of times,
Speaker 1: that would be fine, But in the long run, I
Speaker 1: think threesomes don't work. I've never had a threesome. You know,
Speaker 1: I was gonna ask that question before you asked it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I was ready for it. Yeah, we've talked about this
Speaker 1: before you Have you ever had a three I haven't.
Speaker 1: I've talked about it, but one of those things that
Speaker 1: you can talking about it and then never. I'm not
Speaker 1: much of a mathematician, but on this catch right now,
Speaker 1: there's three people. If you guys want to get weird,
Speaker 1: let's get weird. There's there's too many people in this room, guys,
Speaker 1: let's keep it, let's keep it clean. You don't want
Speaker 1: to have a threesome with the guy who lives in
Speaker 1: a van with a mustache but having to look at
Speaker 1: his feet. Absolutely not. Oh god, well, okay, I guess
Speaker 1: I've I've had one threes in my life. I've talked
Speaker 1: about that on the podcast before, and I tell you what,
Speaker 1: I have only had one for a reason. It wasn't
Speaker 1: really my favorite thing in the world. So I can see,
Speaker 1: was it two girls? We don't need to get into
Speaker 1: the specifics. Well, yes, that's actually what I do. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's what you do on the podcasts, diving deep, no
Speaker 1: pun intending. You know, as I've stated on this podcast before,
Speaker 1: it's a very free spirit. My best friends and a
Speaker 1: girl who's also a very good friend of ours, and
Speaker 1: we were in college and we were Do you think
Speaker 1: it's better to have sex within a threesome with uh, like,
Speaker 1: your close friends or strangers? Probably strange, I would say stranger,
Speaker 1: as long as you're safe obviously. Yeah, well I would
Speaker 1: say maybe one person you're close with them than a stranger.
Speaker 1: But I don't know, so many friends you kind of
Speaker 1: you've kind of crossed the line there. I think, Yeah,
Speaker 1: if you have a like a you know, a friend
Speaker 1: that you hook up with, I think if you were
Speaker 1: a third party in that you both don't really know,
Speaker 1: that could maybe work and it kind of just you know,
Speaker 1: you haven't and then it goes away. But what if,
Speaker 1: like the person picking is always picking somebody and not
Speaker 1: your type. Well, that's why I wouldn't be a constant thing.
Speaker 1: I don't think it would work. You know, you have
Speaker 1: your friends with benefits. I don't think you could have
Speaker 1: your friends with benefits and three sims. I don't think
Speaker 1: that would work well. But also, friends with benefits never
Speaker 1: ends up working. It always ends horrible. It always ends
Speaker 1: up yeah, or you're just a denial that you think
Speaker 1: it's working well. I was. I would love to hear
Speaker 1: an example of how it doesn't end well. I mean,
Speaker 1: I still have friends that I was friends with benefits
Speaker 1: before in the past, But you guys were straight up
Speaker 1: friends with benefits and you think the other person never
Speaker 1: or developed any feelings. I don't know. I guess I
Speaker 1: can't speak for their for their feelings, you just ignore them.
Speaker 1: Or was a friend that you like, I'm still friends
Speaker 1: with them. Was it a friend that you like hooked
Speaker 1: up with and then you guys were just friends but
Speaker 1: then you hooked up like once or twice, or was it, Hey,
Speaker 1: we're friends, but we also find each other very attractive,
Speaker 1: so we're gonna hook up. And you guys had that talk. Yes,
Speaker 1: Oh you had the talk prior? Are you just drinking
Speaker 1: one night and then because there's a difference. It's one
Speaker 1: thing if you like have a little chemistry and it
Speaker 1: happens one night and then you're like, you know what,
Speaker 1: we may be just move right on from this and
Speaker 1: never talked about it again. But to have the conversation
Speaker 1: I don't think I could do that. Let's be friends
Speaker 1: with benefits. Yeah I tried. That happened to be once
Speaker 1: where I had the conversation. We were like, we're friends,
Speaker 1: but we're also going to hook up. Uh, and yeah,
Speaker 1: of course it didn't way to controlling no way. Yeah,
Speaker 1: Like I the thought of just having absolutely no control
Speaker 1: over my emotions and no idea what the other person's feeling. Like, Okay,
Speaker 1: well I'm good enough for him to hook up with,
Speaker 1: but we're never going to have that other discussion. It's
Speaker 1: one thing to say like let's casually date, but like
Speaker 1: to immediately close that door. I don't know that i'd
Speaker 1: be interested. Why do you think it's different for guys
Speaker 1: and girls? Because I feel like in this particular area,
Speaker 1: it does seem a lot of the times girls are
Speaker 1: the ones who developed feelings and guys are the ones
Speaker 1: who are somehow able to compartmentalize that because I think
Speaker 1: women sometimes take things more personally than men, you know,
Speaker 1: like we're I I can really only speak to myself
Speaker 1: about myself, but I contend to like overthink something and
Speaker 1: take Like if if I were to hook up with
Speaker 1: somebody and they would be like, you know what, let's
Speaker 1: just and it was the next day, let's just be friends,
Speaker 1: I'd be like, Oh, he's not into me obviously, but
Speaker 1: then why would you want to keep having sex with me? Yeah?
Speaker 1: I guess as a guy, it's the best of both worlds.
Speaker 1: It don't have to commit, you don't have to do anything,
Speaker 1: you don't have to spend money, and it's like, as
Speaker 1: a guy sometimes, you know, in my younger years, would
Speaker 1: be like you would do this, and you you were like, Okay,
Speaker 1: we're not going to do that again because it's just
Speaker 1: not going to end well. And then all of a sudden,
Speaker 1: a week goes by and you're like, screw it, let's
Speaker 1: just do it up. But like exactly why, It's just
Speaker 1: it's I feel like men are unable to control their
Speaker 1: urges as well as women, and that might be a
Speaker 1: stereotype was a different a different time, But I think
Speaker 1: you can also. It can be in a fun situation,
Speaker 1: but the second one person has that conversation, that's when
Speaker 1: it shifts. Right. If you're just hooking up, you're hooking up.
Speaker 1: But if one person has been like, so, what's going
Speaker 1: on here? Then you're done. Then you gotta stop it. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I guess I get that. That makes sense. Well, what's
Speaker 1: great about this conversation is none of us have to
Speaker 1: deal with it right now. I know it's two married
Speaker 1: couple and a guy who's about to get married picking
Speaker 1: up letting rings. Yeah, yeah, you talked to Neelie. Yeah,
Speaker 1: what's up with Neil? Yeah, we've been texting a little
Speaker 1: bit back and forth. You're sending me pictures nice very Dwarves. Um,
Speaker 1: who is your favorite Paradise couple this year? Besides obvious me?
Speaker 1: And it's It's it's strange. I never really have favorites.
Speaker 1: I have least favorites. Okay, tell us the least favorites
Speaker 1: perfectly fine. I'm like scared he's going to be here.
Speaker 1: I had a little bit of a hard time with
Speaker 1: John Paul Jones. He's not here. Tasia is here, though,
Speaker 1: Tashia's here. I didn't, but I haven't even seen the finale.
Speaker 1: That's the last one. The last one I saw was
Speaker 1: the one right before. What specifically did you have a
Speaker 1: problem with. I don't like when he got like all
Speaker 1: revved up and was like at somebody else's wedding because
Speaker 1: argumentative skills are not It's weird because he's articulate when
Speaker 1: he wants to be. But then that whole argument was
Speaker 1: you were like, what are you doing? Yeah, it just
Speaker 1: made me feel very uncomfortable. But I thought that, like
Speaker 1: Hannah and Dylan, we're a nice couple. But then once
Speaker 1: you become a nice couple, you don't see them anymore.
Speaker 1: So then you like, whose interest as of you are
Speaker 1: probably like lat and gone home or something that came
Speaker 1: back and asked her to be Yeah, just add add
Speaker 1: some draws the only logical thing to do. Really, Okay,
Speaker 1: So we don't like John Paul. I mean, it's not
Speaker 1: that we don't like him, we don't like his character
Speaker 1: on you know, John wul Jones seems he's he seems
Speaker 1: like such a big teddy bear, and he seems like
Speaker 1: he has such a big heart. But I think he
Speaker 1: in areas of life is very immature, and I think
Speaker 1: that was shown at the wedding when he just was
Speaker 1: trying to build those over people to what ended up.
Speaker 1: Because I didn't watch the finale what happened with Clay
Speaker 1: and his check they broke up. Didn't hear any of
Speaker 1: that though, right not at the reunion, but they showed
Speaker 1: them leaving Paradise separately. The thing was, it was weird
Speaker 1: because Nicole was saying, Hey, you're either in love with
Speaker 1: me or you're not, and Clay was like, I'm not
Speaker 1: there yet, but I want to leave together to work
Speaker 1: on things, and she was like, no, it's either love
Speaker 1: or nothing. And then and then he said by oh,
Speaker 1: they didn't specify. Well, he was like I want to
Speaker 1: leave with you, but I'm not there yet, which I
Speaker 1: thought was totally respectable. And she was like, nope, you're
Speaker 1: either in love with me by now or you're not.
Speaker 1: And I probably could have guessed that tell us about
Speaker 1: Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Well, you know, it's it's
Speaker 1: a different thing because they're filming us in our own environment.
Speaker 1: So you're living your life with your family, you're doing
Speaker 1: your job, you're being with friends, but you never know
Speaker 1: how much is going to be air, you know, you know,
Speaker 1: last season we filmed Tuesday through Saturday, and so that's
Speaker 1: a lot of filming. And then I was like, wow,
Speaker 1: we didn't see anything of anything I did with my
Speaker 1: family or my business. We've just seen me, like with
Speaker 1: the other women. So and then the year before we
Speaker 1: saw so much about my family. So you kind of
Speaker 1: never really know what you're gonna get. But people like,
Speaker 1: is it scripted? And it's really not. But the way
Speaker 1: I kind of say it is like I'm not a
Speaker 1: dramatic person. But the second that you know that, like
Speaker 1: someone's saying something to you and it's about to be
Speaker 1: judged in a very large scale, you may have a
Speaker 1: bigger reaction to it than you do in your natural life.
Speaker 1: Why do you think that is? Because if somebody okay,
Speaker 1: and and like day to day life, if you said
Speaker 1: something rude to me, I'd be like, Okay, I'm probably
Speaker 1: just gonna ignore this person, but I'm not going to
Speaker 1: see you the next day and have to be at lunch.
Speaker 1: And you know, so I would if I knew I
Speaker 1: was gonna have to see you the next day and
Speaker 1: we're going to keep being together, I would have to say, like,
Speaker 1: you know, Dean, I thought that was kind of what
Speaker 1: you said, and then all of a sudden there's drama.
Speaker 1: I agree. I think it's very similar in the Bachelor
Speaker 1: world because in everyday life, you don't have to face
Speaker 1: these confrontations. You know, you can just walk away, you
Speaker 1: can let it brush right off your shoulder, be the
Speaker 1: bigger person and just move on. But in this reality
Speaker 1: TV world, you are forced to face that because you
Speaker 1: are going to see them because you're on the same
Speaker 1: beach together, and you have like producers encouraging confrontation too.
Speaker 1: But ours actually really don't. I've heard that a lot
Speaker 1: about the Bachelor. They really don't. But if if they
Speaker 1: can feel it, Sometimes you won't see that person for
Speaker 1: a while, so then it builds because then you're talking
Speaker 1: maybe about that person because you haven't been able to
Speaker 1: see them. And it's also with the batch, Laura, I don't.
Speaker 1: It's not like a producer coming up and saying you
Speaker 1: have to go talk to this person. It's just done
Speaker 1: in a way where you're sitting at a table and
Speaker 1: all of a sudden, the other person walks into the
Speaker 1: same area as you, and there's a huge elephant in
Speaker 1: the room that's just impossible to ignore. And there's there's
Speaker 1: that too, and there's uh, there's a lot of agreeing
Speaker 1: with to like inflate your sense of I guess like
Speaker 1: pride in something. You know. It's like, let's it's like
Speaker 1: two people are arguing, right, and then they go their
Speaker 1: separate ways. Uh, you'll have you know, this person's idea
Speaker 1: being agreed with over here, while this person's idea is
Speaker 1: being good with over here. So it's basically just like
Speaker 1: spiraling more their like their ideas are just getting bigger
Speaker 1: and bigger and bigger. And then when they get back
Speaker 1: into an argument, they're like even more convicted because they've
Speaker 1: talked about it, because they've been agreed with and they've
Speaker 1: like they've been thought that their idea is the right right.
Speaker 1: You know, what was the deal with the uh the
Speaker 1: date food? You're not supposed to eat the date food?
Speaker 1: I mean you can't eat it. I don't that you
Speaker 1: talked about girl? Yeah, Like what was going on? I
Speaker 1: was like, what is happening? We eat our food, we
Speaker 1: go to dinner, and we're like we're going to eat. Well,
Speaker 1: they feed you before the date. They make sure that
Speaker 1: you eat because the food. I think also, eating on
Speaker 1: camera is not the most appealing. You know, sometimes we're
Speaker 1: just desperate, you know, hey we have to We're like,
Speaker 1: we've been hours, I'm going for it, and so I
Speaker 1: think that's why you're probably fed before the date, so
Speaker 1: you're not hungry going on it. I would still always
Speaker 1: eat the food, because all in love in a day,
Speaker 1: you know, there's some time for eating. You gotta be
Speaker 1: talking the whole time. You gotta be like coloring each
Speaker 1: other in pain. Who talk about the future and kids
Speaker 1: and your demons in your past? Beverly Hill start for you.
Speaker 1: For me, Um, I knew one of the women just
Speaker 1: casually through like a mommy and meat class, and then
Speaker 1: they kind of reached out and said, would you be
Speaker 1: interested in doing it? And so it was already a
Speaker 1: show and you kind of people were like a late
Speaker 1: later edition. I guess a later edition. What's a mommy
Speaker 1: and me class? Mommy, and oh you're gonna learn all
Speaker 1: about this naturally have kids. That's really good. Can you
Speaker 1: give Jared some advice as a newly married man, like
Speaker 1: what you can do to keep actually happy? Yeah, well
Speaker 1: keep my wife happy, you know, I think listen, ask questions,
Speaker 1: but around the times that you know she wants to talk.
Speaker 1: Like example, I am like a big talker in the morning,
Speaker 1: but before bed, like honestly zip it, like I just
Speaker 1: want to go to sleep. My husband will come home
Speaker 1: and be like, so tell me about your day and
Speaker 1: but and want to have this full conversation, like can
Speaker 1: we just like set a day day and we'll like
Speaker 1: go over all of these details. But like eight thirty
Speaker 1: at night when I'm like watching my show I Love
Speaker 1: how eight I was. I thought you're gonna say eleven
Speaker 1: o'clock Jared when I'm in bed and want to just
Speaker 1: fall asleep. But once you have three kids and you
Speaker 1: are you known with another one, you you go to
Speaker 1: bed early. But I think the biggest thing is listening,
Speaker 1: doing like spending time together when you both want to,
Speaker 1: not like doing those like we have to go in
Speaker 1: to day, We're going to do this tonight, but like
Speaker 1: things that are actually special. See that's an interesting And
Speaker 1: do you find yourself having to schedule those dates though,
Speaker 1: because I feel like I've heard from a lot of
Speaker 1: married couples you have to schedule those dates. Yeah, well,
Speaker 1: especially once you have kids. And also what we were
Speaker 1: realizing for a while we were always scheduling like double
Speaker 1: dates or things with a group, which are fun, but
Speaker 1: you're not really connecting When you're in a group. You're
Speaker 1: having fun and you're drinking or you're doing whatever. But
Speaker 1: like to actually connect with your spouse, you have to
Speaker 1: figure out what it is that you're going to do together.
Speaker 1: So for us, it'll be like, oh, we'll go on
Speaker 1: a hike, and then we'll go before I was pregnant,
Speaker 1: like a boozy brunch and that's kind of you know,
Speaker 1: We'll have a babysitter for the kids, and then afterwards
Speaker 1: we're like, we're great parents, let's go home and have fun.
Speaker 1: But we're connecting in that way versus a dinner at
Speaker 1: eight o'clock, nine o'clock at night, where you're tired, you
Speaker 1: get a babysitter to watch your kids sleep, and you're
Speaker 1: just like, all right, we're here, now, we have a
Speaker 1: glass of wine and dessert, get the hell out here.
Speaker 1: Let's keep this moving. So I think it's just keeping
Speaker 1: it figuring out what it is that you guys like, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I noticed that Ashley and I connected more in the
Speaker 1: honeymoon than we have in a very long time. Because
Speaker 1: it was just the two of us, which is something
Speaker 1: you know, we can make it if we try, just
Speaker 1: with us, you and I. Um, but I I noticed
Speaker 1: that that it was the first time for months that
Speaker 1: it was just her and I without any distractions and
Speaker 1: really connecting on a different level than we had in
Speaker 1: a very long time, because before the wedding, we were
Speaker 1: planning so hard for that moment, which we're very happy
Speaker 1: that we did, because when the day came, the weekend came,
Speaker 1: everything happened exactly how we wanted to and it's so
Speaker 1: personalized that it meant the world to us. But for
Speaker 1: months before, just with the wedding and work, because Ashley
Speaker 1: and I, you know, being from the Bachelor franchise, we
Speaker 1: kind of do quote unquote almost work together to a
Speaker 1: certain extent as well. Um, So I think for a while,
Speaker 1: you you spend so much time together that you forget
Speaker 1: that you're not spending quality time together. That was in unison.
Speaker 1: That was impressive. Yeah, well, she knows, because just being
Speaker 1: in the present of your partner doesn't actually mean you're
Speaker 1: spending time together. Just sitting there and watching sports or
Speaker 1: a show or whatever. It doesn't mean you're connecting. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but sometimes that's nice you want to sit there and
Speaker 1: hold each other's hand, but like you have to actually
Speaker 1: be vulnerable and talk about what's going on in your
Speaker 1: life to actually grow as people and as partners, and
Speaker 1: you got to share your fears or what you're excited
Speaker 1: about totally. And even just you know, we if we're
Speaker 1: having coffee together in the morning or anything, it's always like,
Speaker 1: all right, we'll have this and that, and then to die.
Speaker 1: You're going over your schedule and what we're doing, and
Speaker 1: you're always working for the next thing. And and so
Speaker 1: I think on the honeymoon, when we're having coffee or
Speaker 1: breakfast in the morning, we're just sitting together and it
Speaker 1: was just a different feeling and you're spending you're you're
Speaker 1: connecting on a different level. And so ever since we
Speaker 1: got back, I think it's been a little sad, just
Speaker 1: because now it's back to all right, well, what's next,
Speaker 1: we gotta do that, and you're scheduling and you're forgetting, Okay,
Speaker 1: we really need to just spend quality while you're scheduling,
Speaker 1: schedule that one little pocketed time time for you guys
Speaker 1: to do something special. I know it's not something you're
Speaker 1: getting paid to do, not something that not an appearance,
Speaker 1: not a concert, something you guys really want to do together.
Speaker 1: It is hard, though, because you spend so much time
Speaker 1: together with your your significant other that it's weird to
Speaker 1: schedule just a time with them that doesn't have to
Speaker 1: do with work or anything like that because you don't
Speaker 1: see other people in your life, you know, like, yeah,
Speaker 1: but as you get older, you're gonna see even less people. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I know, but it's it's so weird because I think
Speaker 1: friends don't understand. Like a great example, uh is a
Speaker 1: friend Nick who like always kind of bust my balls that,
Speaker 1: like he doesn't see me anymore because I spend so
Speaker 1: much time with Ashley. But then when I'm with Ashley,
Speaker 1: I think I don't spend enough quality time with her.
Speaker 1: So it's hard to balance life. And everybody goes through that.
Speaker 1: I'm sure you've obviously been through that with friends and
Speaker 1: and ever since being married that you're like, no, I
Speaker 1: need to spend more time with my wife because we
Speaker 1: don't spend enough quality time together. But I think if
Speaker 1: you actually kind of schedule even it's something that my
Speaker 1: husband loves to go play basketball with his friends, and
Speaker 1: he used to do it on Saturdays. And I was like,
Speaker 1: you know, here's the thing. I want you to see
Speaker 1: your friends. I really do, but Saturdays like our family
Speaker 1: day and we're together. Like, can you pick one night
Speaker 1: during the week you can go play basketball as late
Speaker 1: as you want, go out to drink with your friends after,
Speaker 1: but like, can you just do it a different day
Speaker 1: than Saturday, because I feel a disconnection from you when
Speaker 1: you go and do that every Saturday. And then him
Speaker 1: just switching the day around made such a big difference
Speaker 1: for us, and neither of us a feeling like we're
Speaker 1: missing something. But he didn't have to give it up.
Speaker 1: He didn't have to give it up. I'm like, hey,
Speaker 1: just pick a night now, I'll do it Thursday nights.
Speaker 1: And you know, it's great, but I can't wait to
Speaker 1: be married having to you know, you have to make compromises,
Speaker 1: but I have to do things like, you know, make
Speaker 1: his breakfast And I'm like, we took that. Have you
Speaker 1: guys taken the love languages? I'm sure, of course, but
Speaker 1: such a millennial, not as a couple, but I know
Speaker 1: what my love language are. I give of physical touch
Speaker 1: and acts of service, and I receive acts of service
Speaker 1: and physical touch. Yeah, so my husband's acts of service,
Speaker 1: I'm like, I hate doing things for people that's yours,
Speaker 1: that's yours as well. Uh. Now mine is I think
Speaker 1: quality time and uh I think it's acts of service.
Speaker 1: Nobody's words of affirmation really yes, which I was like,
Speaker 1: I don't even I feel so uncomfortable when I get compliment.
Speaker 1: That seems like strange to me, but I realized it's
Speaker 1: it comes with like when I do an acts of
Speaker 1: service for my husband. So if he's like, hey, we
Speaker 1: get breakfast or whatever it is, and then I give
Speaker 1: it and he'll be like, hey, where's the salt and pepper,
Speaker 1: you know, then I'm like yourself versus when he's like, oh, thanks, babe,
Speaker 1: I appreciate it, love you. You know. Those things really
Speaker 1: resonate with me and kind of set the tone for
Speaker 1: our day. I will say. One of the reasons that
Speaker 1: Mine Kalin's relationship works so well is I'm really bad
Speaker 1: at giving words of affirmation. It's like, by far my
Speaker 1: weakest love language to give, by like a long shot,
Speaker 1: and she doesn't receive her least receiving love languages words
Speaker 1: of affirmation, Like I'm so bad just like waking up
Speaker 1: and running over and be like, oh my god, you're
Speaker 1: so beautiful and I care about you so much. Like like,
Speaker 1: obviously I think those things and I do feel those ways,
Speaker 1: but I'm just like bad at expressing it. You get
Speaker 1: nervous saying it, or you just don't want to feel vulnerable.
Speaker 1: I don't know, I just I'm uncomfortable saying it. Maybe
Speaker 1: I don't maybe it's like a fear of vulnerability or something.
Speaker 1: But I guess my point is it's like she doesn't
Speaker 1: she doesn't need that to feel loved by me, which
Speaker 1: is really nice. She probably likes affection and she likes
Speaker 1: physical touch. She's an acts of service and like quality times.
Speaker 1: She's big unquality time of course as well. Why is
Speaker 1: it hard to say words of affirmation? I find it
Speaker 1: difficult as well sometimes, Like I think about this not
Speaker 1: only with my relationship with Ashley, but also my relationship
Speaker 1: with my sister, my parents. For some reason, I find
Speaker 1: it difficult. I'm getting better at it, but I find
Speaker 1: it difficult to really like say I love you. I
Speaker 1: don't know. I think it might be a man thing
Speaker 1: because even sometimes of my dad, like you can tell,
Speaker 1: it's almost an uncomfortable it's an uncomfortable moment when we're
Speaker 1: like on the phone together and we're about to hang up,
Speaker 1: and I'm just like, all right, uh, I love you bye,
Speaker 1: as if like I just gotta say because I love
Speaker 1: you and I want you to know that, and I
Speaker 1: know you know that I'm gonna say it anyway because
Speaker 1: I want to say it. I sent. Uh. This was
Speaker 1: what I spent the night in Denver at my best
Speaker 1: friend's house this past weekend. And as I was leaving,
Speaker 1: I like rushed out the door because like, like great
Speaker 1: seeing your bro, Like I'll catch you later. And then
Speaker 1: I was like driving with my brother out to Utah,
Speaker 1: and I was thinking to myself, I was like wow,
Speaker 1: like I really wasn't appreciative enough of like what Mike did.
Speaker 1: So I send like this long text like hey, like
Speaker 1: I really appreciate our friendship, but you know, you were
Speaker 1: a great host blah blah blah. But like for some reason,
Speaker 1: saying it was a lot harder than just like texting it,
Speaker 1: you know, and like I know that he was like dude,
Speaker 1: of course, like I knew that you were super grateful
Speaker 1: and all that kind of stuff, but I appreciate you
Speaker 1: saying something. It's like your father, Like your father knows
Speaker 1: that you love him, but like sometimes it's hard to
Speaker 1: say it. Yeah, it's that's where you are, and you're
Speaker 1: like your frame of mind that day, and you don't
Speaker 1: want to feel like it sounds forced or fake because
Speaker 1: the second you feel like you're saying thank you or
Speaker 1: I appreciate it, or you made so much to me,
Speaker 1: but you're not actually feeling in that moment, then all
Speaker 1: of a sudden you're like, I don't feel genuine doing that,
Speaker 1: because like, how many movies do I have to see
Speaker 1: where you know, the main character is losing someone they
Speaker 1: love and they're like, I should have changed you second
Speaker 1: of every day. And it's like I need to be
Speaker 1: saying it every second of every day because I want
Speaker 1: to say it, and for some reason I have difficulties,
Speaker 1: especially if you feel it. Um, well, that was that
Speaker 1: was great. We're gonna jump into some Facebook questions and Teddy,
Speaker 1: we want you here to help us answer these questions. Okay,
Speaker 1: before we do that, we are going to take one
Speaker 1: quick break and then we'll dive right into it. Welcome
Speaker 1: back to help myselfcome back to help I suck at dating,
Speaker 1: not live. I don't know I did that. I started,
Speaker 1: and I thought it was gonna be plentier than it was.
Speaker 1: Then no one laughed and you were like, oh, I'm
Speaker 1: missing social kids. Anyway, we're in Las Vegas at Planet Hollywood.
Speaker 1: We have Teddy Mellencamp joining us for some Facebook questions.
Speaker 1: If you guys are not in the Facebook group, you
Speaker 1: should be. And let's give a shout out to the
Speaker 1: moderators Millie and Suz Susie Susie. I think Susie might
Speaker 1: be a moderate. I'm not sure, but she also constantly active.
Speaker 1: I haven't been keeping up on the Facebook page as
Speaker 1: much as I used to do, but we do. UM
Speaker 1: obviously love encouraging conversation there, and if you guys have
Speaker 1: any questions or like you want to chime in about
Speaker 1: the podcast, obviously right on that wall on Facebook, or
Speaker 1: you can of course email us at I Second Dating
Speaker 1: at iHeart media dot com. You're kinky things that you're
Speaker 1: interested in, just email us anonymously. Maybe that's better than
Speaker 1: the Facebook post because in your name is attached to it.
Speaker 1: But yeah, if you have any kinky stuff they want
Speaker 1: to keep secret, definitely emails anonymous. We have UM some
Speaker 1: questions that you guys asked that Jared's going to read
Speaker 1: and we're going to try and talk about them. Of course,
Speaker 1: so obviously quick shout out to the Facebook group podcast
Speaker 1: and also quick shout out to the Instagram, which we've been.
Speaker 1: You're killing the Instagram. I'm not gonna lie doing pretty good.
Speaker 1: Do you like? Did you like my post? I was like,
Speaker 1: how dode she would have been if I posted that
Speaker 1: I'm allowed because I know, I know, I appreciate it.
Speaker 1: It was that I was my favorite post of ours
Speaker 1: to Willie Wonka, Lilli Wonka and Neopa Loompa, which I
Speaker 1: don't really understand how it could be both of those
Speaker 1: because you're so tan. I think the lompa and then
Speaker 1: the hair kind of like the way that it flowed
Speaker 1: down my ears. And I think it was also the
Speaker 1: color of your jacket. Yeah, that's because I think he
Speaker 1: wears well it's like salmon. It was like salmon purple.
Speaker 1: Yet yeah, very Willie Wonka ask um, So anyway, h
Speaker 1: should we say people's names? I guess right, because it's
Speaker 1: on Facebook. Uh So this is Rebecca and she writes,
Speaker 1: at what point do you think it's normal to have
Speaker 1: the defining the relationship talk. Uh, And she gives a
Speaker 1: poll here two months after the first date, one month
Speaker 1: after the first date, or four months after the first day,
Speaker 1: and the winner is two months, second places one month,
Speaker 1: third place is four months. I don't think there's like
Speaker 1: an umbrella length of time you can be like, all right,
Speaker 1: we've been dating for sixty days. Time to dtr this,
Speaker 1: you know, But um, what do you think? I think
Speaker 1: if you're not sure at four months what you're actually doing,
Speaker 1: then that probably means you don't need to have the
Speaker 1: conversation because you're probably just casually dating. Yeah, probably you're
Speaker 1: probably it's probably not going anywhere. I think, Um, I mean, yeah,
Speaker 1: I would say a few weeks. I'd say I think
Speaker 1: a few weeks is a little a little early. But
Speaker 1: I think I think I think two months is fine.
Speaker 1: But I also think having to have that defining conversation
Speaker 1: almost isn't necessary if you're in a good situation. Well,
Speaker 1: yes and no. I think both people want to be
Speaker 1: on the same page of hey, this is a boyfriend girlfriend, right,
Speaker 1: not just hey we're hanging out, but we're not sure
Speaker 1: where it's going. Right. But I don't you think when
Speaker 1: you're in a good relationship and you're having regular conversations.
Speaker 1: There isn't just that one sit down like, hey, what
Speaker 1: are we doing here? I would say yes and no
Speaker 1: because I feel like I have so many friends that
Speaker 1: feel like they're in really good relationships where it just
Speaker 1: hasn't there, like I'm really sure that we're right. But
Speaker 1: then but then once they have the conversation, is it
Speaker 1: over or is it good? No? I think what you
Speaker 1: have the conversation, as long as you're in a good relationship,
Speaker 1: then it would be hey, we're boyfriend girlfriend, because it
Speaker 1: is awkward being in that situation. Say, you know, say hypothetically, Teddy,
Speaker 1: you were dating Dean and you guys were hanging out
Speaker 1: a few times, and it's been a month in and
Speaker 1: then Teddy you were like, hey, my cousin's having a cookout,
Speaker 1: would love for you to come. He comes and you're like, hey,
Speaker 1: this is my um uh, this is Dean and we
Speaker 1: are hanging out. So I think before you even bring
Speaker 1: him to the cookout, wouldn't you want to have a
Speaker 1: conversation to say, hey, am I introducing you as my boyfriend?
Speaker 1: Because we're boyfriend girlfriend? Right. I'm kind of old school.
Speaker 1: I would hope that he had the conversation with me.
Speaker 1: I don't know where I would. I don't know if
Speaker 1: if I have to be in a situation where I'm like,
Speaker 1: do you do you like me enough? How I can
Speaker 1: introduce you? I don't think I'm going to keep going
Speaker 1: down there? All right, that's fair, that's fair. Do you
Speaker 1: have another Facebook question? Jean Christine stole my phone is
Speaker 1: going through. I don't bring my phone to the podcast.
Speaker 1: I try to focus on the conversations that we have,
Speaker 1: but yes, let's see this young lady. Melissa says she
Speaker 1: just got back on the dating scene and she wants
Speaker 1: to know why guys that she meets for the first
Speaker 1: time start texting her babe, how are you? Or babe?
Speaker 1: When are we hanging out? She says she feels a
Speaker 1: bit weird about them calling her babes and she barely
Speaker 1: knows them. Does that mean that they're into her? Or
Speaker 1: are they looking to just come over and make out?
Speaker 1: I think they're just looking to come over and make out.
Speaker 1: Who calls someone baby stranger? Baby? They're they're looking to
Speaker 1: hook up, I sometimes say, and Ashley can attest this
Speaker 1: um sometimes, hon But I'm a married man, so I
Speaker 1: feel like I can say now, but like, I know
Speaker 1: that sounds weird, but my dad says it and that's
Speaker 1: where I got it, where like he's getting coffee and
Speaker 1: he'd be like, oh, thanks, son, you say you say
Speaker 1: hon to Ashley? Are people know to other people? But
Speaker 1: like I don't call Ashley hone other like people like
Speaker 1: strangers out in the world. I call Ashley babe. I know,
Speaker 1: I know happening. I know it's but my dad. I
Speaker 1: got it from my dad and he does it all
Speaker 1: the time, and it's such a yeah, it's kind of
Speaker 1: like that, and so I've I've noticed doing it and
Speaker 1: in the moment like why the hell did I say that?
Speaker 1: I'm so awkward And I really just blame my father. No,
Speaker 1: I think it's fine, it's fine, it's not by And also,
Speaker 1: what time are they texting you? Yeah, it's like in
Speaker 1: the middle of the night, all right, So you up.
Speaker 1: Matt posted a question and the Facebook group as well.
Speaker 1: He says, why do you girls find it such a
Speaker 1: turn off that, at five years old, despite him having
Speaker 1: a good job, that they don't like that he lives
Speaker 1: at home with his parents as a year old man.
Speaker 1: It's kind of like the new normal I'm sorry, but
Speaker 1: twenty living at home isn't that crazy? You're on your
Speaker 1: parents health insurance till you're twenty six. He just wants
Speaker 1: he wants to know what women generally think of it.
Speaker 1: So tell you, what would you think if you were
Speaker 1: let's say you were single and you met a guy
Speaker 1: and you're interested in it turns out he's living at
Speaker 1: home with his parents. I haven't ever had to go
Speaker 1: through that, but I think for me, I would be
Speaker 1: a little bit like, Okay, you graduated college, you have
Speaker 1: a job, Like, don't you want to support yourself and
Speaker 1: start progressing. But his defense, he says that rent is
Speaker 1: very expensive. He's like saving up some money, he's got
Speaker 1: a good job. He's just like I mean, but in
Speaker 1: order to grow, you have to invest in yourself or
Speaker 1: invest in the life that you're creating. And if you're
Speaker 1: still having your mommy do your laundry, you're kind of
Speaker 1: stifling yourself. Yes, I think it also depends because if
Speaker 1: you're twenty five and you know that you're going to
Speaker 1: move out at some point soon, that's different than you're
Speaker 1: twenty five and you have no idea where you're going.
Speaker 1: And that's why I think I don't think it's necessarily
Speaker 1: living at home. But if you're with a guy and
Speaker 1: they don't seem like they have any goals or drive,
Speaker 1: to me, that's not attractive totally. But if you're living
Speaker 1: at home because you two dollars in college day, then
Speaker 1: that's different than being twenty five and working at you know,
Speaker 1: the seven eleven because you don't know where you're doing
Speaker 1: with your life. Not saying severne's a bad job, it's
Speaker 1: a great job, but just in terms of yours have
Speaker 1: have a goal and to want to have a purpose
Speaker 1: in their life, and that's what women are attracted to totally.
Speaker 1: I was get I was kind of, um, I guess
Speaker 1: not throwing off or anything like that. Like what do
Speaker 1: you have like long term goals that you set for yourself?
Speaker 1: Like do you like write down you're like five year,
Speaker 1: ten year, fifteen year goals? I do. I don't write
Speaker 1: them down. Um, but I think, especially now newly married,
Speaker 1: my goals are more family oriented about you know, buying
Speaker 1: a house, having kids, uh, you know, seeing where we're
Speaker 1: going to settle down. That's kind of in terms in
Speaker 1: terms of my goals right now, I'm still a career focused, um,
Speaker 1: but that's been obviously the main focus of my head
Speaker 1: right now. I don't write down long term goals, but
Speaker 1: I do write down, like in the morning, I write
Speaker 1: down some things that I'm grateful for. I have anxiety,
Speaker 1: so for me, that really helps, like these are the
Speaker 1: things I'm grate for. And then I write down my
Speaker 1: three non negotiables of every day, So three things that
Speaker 1: I'm going to accomplish. And I know that when I
Speaker 1: do those things, it'll like create confidence in making sure
Speaker 1: that I continue to get that. Can you give us
Speaker 1: like a for instance, like an example of one of
Speaker 1: those you know, it could be something like, you know,
Speaker 1: I had to I run a business so that I
Speaker 1: have forty five women that worked for me. And I
Speaker 1: was like, I am going to set the zoom call
Speaker 1: for this week. This is what's happening. I'm going to
Speaker 1: set it for Tuesday, and I'm taking action today because
Speaker 1: you know, sometimes in your head you're like, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: do this, and then you put it off and then
Speaker 1: all of a sudden you've created this unnecessary, like weird
Speaker 1: feeling inside yourself because you're just not doing it right.
Speaker 1: And then you do it and it takes it takes
Speaker 1: two seconds, and you're like, why was I thinking about
Speaker 1: this for three days? That's a good that's a good
Speaker 1: method to write down the three non negotiables that you're
Speaker 1: going to do that day. Yeah, and it could be
Speaker 1: fitness related, could be health related. It could be I'm
Speaker 1: going to have that conversation with this person today, but
Speaker 1: I'm not putting it off, because putting it off is
Speaker 1: what creates that like uncomfortable. Yeah. I guess the reason
Speaker 1: I asked that question is because for me personally, like
Speaker 1: I guess when I think of goals long term, I
Speaker 1: don't know what it might not necessarily be. And so
Speaker 1: it's like you want to date someone that has goals obviously,
Speaker 1: and you to be attracted to people that have goals
Speaker 1: and um are working towards them. But like I'm trying
Speaker 1: to think about mine are and like, well, I think
Speaker 1: you can. It doesn't necessarily have to be goals, but like,
Speaker 1: what do you want out of your life? And if
Speaker 1: you're still fully I have no idea? Like for me,
Speaker 1: I knew I like wanted to feel comfortable in my
Speaker 1: own skin. I wanted to be married and have kids,
Speaker 1: and I wanted to feel like I had a purpose
Speaker 1: so I found a career that I feel that way.
Speaker 1: You know, I help other people and yeah, but I
Speaker 1: wanted both because I had one, and then I was
Speaker 1: feeling like I want to be able to do both.
Speaker 1: And I think that just being able to talk through
Speaker 1: it with your partner and saying these are the types
Speaker 1: of things that I care about. That's enough. So one
Speaker 1: more question before we wrap up from the Facebook group.
Speaker 1: This is from Melissa, and she says, am I overreacting
Speaker 1: if a guy I'm talking two takes over two hours
Speaker 1: to respond back to me. He's told me he isn't
Speaker 1: talking to other people, but obviously we haven't d t
Speaker 1: R yet. Do we know what a find the relationship?
Speaker 1: I'm an idiot? Wow? Should I be worried or just relax?
Speaker 1: Dating sucks? Crying face emoji? If he says he's not
Speaker 1: talking to other girls and you don't have any reason
Speaker 1: not to believe him, it sounds like he's kind of
Speaker 1: defining the relationship there. And I think everybody's a different
Speaker 1: type of texter, Like my husband is not an immediate
Speaker 1: texter or back or unless he needs something. But you know,
Speaker 1: I'm the type like if I have my phone on
Speaker 1: me I'm gonna text right back. Texting really changed the
Speaker 1: dating game, didn't it, Because now you no longer call anybody,
Speaker 1: you just text. And now texting is such a game
Speaker 1: to a lot of people where they have to wait
Speaker 1: to respond because they don't want to see needy or
Speaker 1: uh you. You know, you text immediately back because you
Speaker 1: want them to know that you're interested. But like, just
Speaker 1: like either the guy likes you or he doesn't, the
Speaker 1: text time really doesn't matter. You're going to figure out
Speaker 1: whether he's into not by if he texts you within
Speaker 1: twenty minutes or two hours. See, I used to you'd
Speaker 1: plan out that time I was thinking about in high
Speaker 1: school before texting was a mainstream thing. Um. I remember
Speaker 1: one time there was a girl that I told her
Speaker 1: i'd call her that day, but I was so terrified
Speaker 1: to call her that I knew she had cheerleading practice,
Speaker 1: So I intentionally called her while she was at cheerleading practice,
Speaker 1: so I knew she wouldn't pick up, so it took
Speaker 1: all the pressure off. And then when she called me
Speaker 1: back into an an answer. So she thought you were
Speaker 1: playing a game, but you were just a nervous rack
Speaker 1: probably or she just thought I was an idiot. I
Speaker 1: don't know, probably the latter, but you know, so now
Speaker 1: that's just like the modern day of like texting but
Speaker 1: waiting two hours and be like, oh sorry, I was
Speaker 1: doing this. I do remember as a like a middle
Speaker 1: schooler in high school or calling someone that you were
Speaker 1: like had of crushed on was like the most terrifying
Speaker 1: thing in the world. So I can empathize with you
Speaker 1: because it was very scary, especially if you had to
Speaker 1: call her house because then you would ask is is.
Speaker 1: But we when I was growing up was different. We
Speaker 1: all had pages like like this is the nineties. You'd
Speaker 1: get the page and then you're like, oh, wow, okay,
Speaker 1: I call that. This is my cue. My children are
Speaker 1: my stepdaughter is eleven, and then my daughter is six
Speaker 1: and my son is five and I'm you know, four
Speaker 1: and half months. So the stepdaughter is about to be
Speaker 1: at that age where she like, I'm sure she's probably
Speaker 1: like dating boys, right, No, I hope not. I don't know.
Speaker 1: I know, well I try to in denial about that. Well, no,
Speaker 1: you try to like hint around but without giving them
Speaker 1: any ideas. But I mean, I don't know my actually
Speaker 1: the seven year old or the six year old she
Speaker 1: talks about boys a lot more than her older sister,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, can you not? She was like, did
Speaker 1: you see him at school the day he grew his
Speaker 1: hair out? I'm like, yeah, always tell mommy everything mean
Speaker 1: while I'm like, I'm like, sure, we're doing all girls
Speaker 1: birthday girls, no boys, no boys ever allowed. All right,
Speaker 1: Well to do it. For this week's episode of Help
Speaker 1: I Suck at Dating Um live from Las Vegas hashtag
Speaker 1: not live. Teddy thanks for coming on, Thanks guys for
Speaker 1: having me. Yeah, make sure you check out her podcast,
Speaker 1: which comes out Tuesday. Teddy Tea Pod, not tea Bag,
Speaker 1: Teddy Tea Pod on I Heart Radio were Teddy Mellencamp
Speaker 1: jumps into all different types of subjects and goes into
Speaker 1: a dive deep of each one of them. Uh, Teddy,
Speaker 1: thank you so much for coming on. We really appreciate it.
Speaker 1: You're the best. Thanks you, guys. I hope to have
Speaker 1: you on mine as well. Oh my gosh, I would
Speaker 1: love nothing more. You just let us know. You guys,
Speaker 1: bring me a good topic and we'll we but we
Speaker 1: have to do fair investigation. I'm gonna find the most
Speaker 1: random thing for us to talk about, all right. I
Speaker 1: would love to think maybe something about mustaches. Yeah, you
Speaker 1: a hard wood for putting us up here in Las Vegas.
Speaker 1: The best casino on the strip. Oh it's the best.
Speaker 1: And also thank you to Shake Shack. Who doesn't love
Speaker 1: shake Shack right, They've got so many locations all over
Speaker 1: the place. They've got the best burgers around. They've got
Speaker 1: this flat top Viana hot dogs that we all know
Speaker 1: and love. And the shakes, my god, the shakes. Shakes
Speaker 1: for the best. A shake cheeseburger and the cheese fries
Speaker 1: with the cheese on the side so you can dip
Speaker 1: it in. I heard about this hack the other day. Yeah,
Speaker 1: actually does that mean because it's the cheese fries, but
Speaker 1: you put the cheese on the side so you control
Speaker 1: how much cheese are on your fries. Oh my god,
Speaker 1: it's it's you know. Shake Shack really puts the eatering control.
Speaker 1: I love it, um And you can find a location
Speaker 1: near you at shake shack dot com or on the
Speaker 1: Shack app. That, of course, is our beloved Easton Allen,
Speaker 1: who is the biggest shake Shack officion auto. Anyways, that'll
Speaker 1: do over this week's episode of Help I Suck at Dating?
Speaker 1: Thank you again, to every one of you for listening,
Speaker 1: and to Teddy and to Jared and to everything else.
Speaker 1: To Vanessa, who unfortunately could not make it to Vegas,
Speaker 1: but we're thinking of her, her podcast and we love her.
Speaker 1: I'm just kidding. I texted yesterday. Apparently her dog got
Speaker 1: really sick. So let's send her some good vibes. Good
Speaker 1: vibes towards Vanessa. UM be sure to do next week,
Speaker 1: where maybe we will suck a little bit less. Follow
Speaker 1: help by Suck at Dating with Dean, Vanessa and Jared
Speaker 1: on I Heart Radio or wherever you listen to podcast