WEBVTT - Advice Letters 6 0:00:01.320 --> 0:00:05.720 Hello, beautiful people, Welcome to the Vitamin D Podcast. I 0:00:05.760 --> 0:00:09.000 am your host, Dawn Day here to be. I'd like 0:00:09.039 --> 0:00:11.959 to say, a light worker, um, just here to shed 0:00:12.039 --> 0:00:15.160 some light intoe your life, ensure that you get excited 0:00:15.160 --> 0:00:18.479 about your life and understand the importance of living in 0:00:18.520 --> 0:00:21.639 life one purpose and for a purpose, because you know, 0:00:21.720 --> 0:00:24.360 Vitamin D is all about shed and light. And here's 0:00:24.360 --> 0:00:27.080 the thing with Vitamin D, Wow, it's all about motivating 0:00:27.080 --> 0:00:30.360 and inspiring. It's also about cutting the light on. And 0:00:30.400 --> 0:00:32.680 when you cut the light on, you realize you're gonna 0:00:32.720 --> 0:00:35.160 see some good stuff and the bad stuff. And this 0:00:35.200 --> 0:00:37.120 is not a podcast where we're just gonna focus on 0:00:37.200 --> 0:00:39.400 just all the good stuff. Everything that smells like roses 0:00:39.479 --> 0:00:41.720 um um, looks like butterflies. We want to get in 0:00:41.760 --> 0:00:45.640 the book because we talk about the light. If you 0:00:45.680 --> 0:00:47.879 think about it like a diamond, that the reason why 0:00:47.880 --> 0:00:50.920 that diamond is so beautiful and why it shines the 0:00:50.960 --> 0:00:53.880 way it does is because the light starts to reflect 0:00:55.480 --> 0:00:58.560 off of every cutting and every piece of it. And 0:00:58.560 --> 0:01:02.400 if we related to ourselves rather than hiding things that 0:01:02.680 --> 0:01:05.959 you know may not be picture perfect, but to be 0:01:06.040 --> 0:01:08.440 transparent with self, that light that shines in it will 0:01:08.480 --> 0:01:11.119 just keep reflecting and see. If we try to cover 0:01:11.200 --> 0:01:14.080 these things up, what happens is is that it gets 0:01:14.080 --> 0:01:17.040 swallowed in. It's just suffocates into a dark shadow. And 0:01:17.080 --> 0:01:19.560 I don't know about true, I don't know about you, 0:01:19.920 --> 0:01:23.360 but I'm just trying to illuminate it. I'm just trying 0:01:23.400 --> 0:01:27.120 to shine. I'm just airing out. I'm clearing out in 0:01:27.160 --> 0:01:30.760 this season. What about you? What has been your mode 0:01:30.840 --> 0:01:35.720 for you know, it's February already, what's going on? And 0:01:35.760 --> 0:01:38.399 it's just the checkpoint, no pressure, but just something to 0:01:38.520 --> 0:01:43.360 think about, because that's what the light is. The light 0:01:43.480 --> 0:01:47.040 is to see. So I guess I'm looking in. I'm 0:01:47.120 --> 0:01:49.600 checking in with myself as we're going to the second month. 0:01:49.640 --> 0:01:51.880 And you know, this season is always a little iffy 0:01:51.960 --> 0:01:54.640 for me, and I usually I kind of forget until 0:01:54.720 --> 0:02:00.320 I realize that my body is remembering and it was 0:02:00.600 --> 0:02:06.200 this month. What is it? It was this month? What? 0:02:08.400 --> 0:02:14.920 Nine years ago? Then my mother died? Yeah, and the 0:02:15.040 --> 0:02:18.840 thing that, uh, you know, I've been working on trapping 0:02:18.960 --> 0:02:20.679 of what I want to talk about in the podcast 0:02:20.760 --> 0:02:22.800 as far as I mentioning my mom, you know, how 0:02:22.840 --> 0:02:26.040 I wanted to place it and I still don't know how, 0:02:26.200 --> 0:02:29.680 but I guess I had to remember a memory pop 0:02:29.760 --> 0:02:32.320 up on Facebook. It was a post I put up, 0:02:33.000 --> 0:02:35.560 and I'm gonna go to it right now. It was 0:02:35.760 --> 0:02:38.400 it popped up on Facebook as a memory way back, 0:02:38.480 --> 0:02:42.920 and it said twenty twelve, and the memory stated I 0:02:43.080 --> 0:02:47.680 was like, I'm excited about being the boys for Black 0:02:47.760 --> 0:02:51.800 History Month, you know what I'm saying. And so I 0:02:51.919 --> 0:02:53.560 think about that, and I just can't help but think 0:02:53.600 --> 0:02:57.880 about my mom because I remember when it was time 0:02:57.919 --> 0:03:00.120 for me to go back to Detroit, because the act 0:03:00.160 --> 0:03:03.240 just that said, Hey Dawn, you need to get out here. 0:03:04.120 --> 0:03:06.080 Hey Dawn, you know just whatever you need to do, 0:03:06.240 --> 0:03:07.600 make sure you get out here. And I was so 0:03:07.680 --> 0:03:10.400 excited um to tell her. So here here's the post 0:03:10.400 --> 0:03:14.800 from February seven. I just had a surreal moment. I 0:03:14.880 --> 0:03:19.720 just why I wanted the Beyonce Jinette I voiced for 0:03:19.840 --> 0:03:23.240 Music Choice. Yes, I am the network's voice for Black 0:03:23.280 --> 0:03:26.120 History Month hashtag humble and that's when I lived in 0:03:26.160 --> 0:03:28.200 New York. I saw that because I remember in that 0:03:28.480 --> 0:03:32.360 point of joy, I was so excited. And it wasn't 0:03:32.440 --> 0:03:36.440 until which every day this was ulve that following weekend, 0:03:36.520 --> 0:03:38.720 I was heading to Detroit to go see my mom, 0:03:39.960 --> 0:03:42.960 and you know, my body remembers it because it was 0:03:43.000 --> 0:03:44.800 so traumatic. Because we're about to do we're about to 0:03:44.800 --> 0:03:50.440 step into the whole season of Whidney's Anniversary, and um, 0:03:50.440 --> 0:03:52.640 you know, I guess my whole point of just mentioning 0:03:52.680 --> 0:03:55.360 this is that when we're doing check in and Self, 0:03:55.480 --> 0:03:58.520 it's always going to be something here in this moment 0:03:59.280 --> 0:04:03.880 in February seven, I had no idea that in a 0:04:03.920 --> 0:04:08.480 couple of weeks my mother was going to be that deceased. 0:04:08.640 --> 0:04:12.080 Going from the start year old on was not going 0:04:12.160 --> 0:04:16.440 to have her mother anymore. Didn't know that. So check 0:04:16.520 --> 0:04:20.640 in with yourself, living life on purpose and for purpose, 0:04:20.800 --> 0:04:24.000 and who knows, you know, this couple episodes this month, 0:04:24.040 --> 0:04:25.800 I might dive in and just really get into that 0:04:25.920 --> 0:04:28.600 story I'm still figuring out. But that's what my check 0:04:28.680 --> 0:04:33.400 in is that So if you just do it in 0:04:33.440 --> 0:04:36.200 the Vitamin D welcome, That's what the podcast is about. 0:04:36.360 --> 0:04:39.680 It's about shedding the light. And while oftentimes I'll come 0:04:39.720 --> 0:04:42.640 in with the guest, there are other times that you know, 0:04:42.800 --> 0:04:45.440 I'll read an advice letter and if you've been listening, 0:04:45.520 --> 0:04:47.839 you'll see that we've added some quick doses during the week, 0:04:48.360 --> 0:04:50.360 and quick doses are kind of like with vitamin D. 0:04:50.440 --> 0:04:52.880 First started out as it was like a minute splurge 0:04:52.920 --> 0:04:55.800 and I would use the lyrics of popular music and 0:04:55.880 --> 0:05:01.000 intertwined into a motivational message. Yeah that was vitamin D. Yeah, 0:05:01.040 --> 0:05:04.000 I mean it still is vitamin D, but because I 0:05:04.040 --> 0:05:06.480 wanted to make sure I revived the spirit of vitamin 0:05:06.560 --> 0:05:09.320 D on on ahead and you can catch those on 0:05:09.320 --> 0:05:12.839 a Wednesday and Friday or whenever because it's it's accessible 0:05:12.839 --> 0:05:15.719 to see you whatever on whichever platform. You know, you 0:05:15.760 --> 0:05:18.640 can't contain the light because the light just shines. Okay, 0:05:18.680 --> 0:05:23.039 so make sure you check that out. And this episode 0:05:23.160 --> 0:05:25.880 is going to be about advice letters. So you guys 0:05:25.880 --> 0:05:29.799 have written in, we've solecited out to submit any advice letters, 0:05:29.880 --> 0:05:34.080 any questions or any inquiries about Vitamin D to Vitamin 0:05:34.160 --> 0:05:38.080 D at dawn day Speaks dot com. So on these 0:05:38.120 --> 0:05:43.440 advice letters, people right in about love, about relationships, about 0:05:43.440 --> 0:05:47.040 their career, about anything that's playing in them because they 0:05:47.160 --> 0:05:50.640 liked some advice for me. So that's what we do. 0:05:51.560 --> 0:05:53.800 And I want to say this, as I say on 0:05:53.920 --> 0:05:59.480 each advice letter episode, Okay, I'm gonna keep it red 0:05:59.480 --> 0:06:05.520 with you, okay. Just as though fire can keep you warm, 0:06:05.640 --> 0:06:08.720 it can burn you. I say all that to say 0:06:09.120 --> 0:06:12.320 is that all of it is meant for good. It 0:06:12.400 --> 0:06:14.800 may come out in a way that may seem harsh 0:06:14.920 --> 0:06:18.719 or not so kindly or quote unquote vitamin d airy 0:06:18.800 --> 0:06:21.760 soft lovely like, but I understand that just like a 0:06:21.800 --> 0:06:23.799 year and the young that's part of the vitamin D two. 0:06:24.200 --> 0:06:27.799 So I keep it real, unfiltered on curR and um. 0:06:27.839 --> 0:06:29.520 I had a chance to glance over the letters a 0:06:29.520 --> 0:06:32.960 little bit because I always like to familiarize myself and uh, 0:06:33.960 --> 0:06:37.720 you know, I hope to share. Hopefully I can share 0:06:37.800 --> 0:06:40.000 some of the things that I've experienced in my life 0:06:40.520 --> 0:06:44.120 as I give this advice, because uh, we gotta keep 0:06:44.120 --> 0:06:49.760 it real. We gotta keep it real, yo. That that 0:06:49.800 --> 0:06:53.440 should be the deal from today moving forward, keeping it 0:06:53.520 --> 0:06:56.480 for real more importantly with yourself, because that's who you 0:06:56.520 --> 0:07:01.000 gotta live with onkur all right, So without further ado, 0:07:01.960 --> 0:07:07.440 it's time for your dose. Does a vitamin D right 0:07:07.960 --> 0:07:15.400 with me? And get excited? Alright, y'all? Um, here's the 0:07:15.440 --> 0:07:19.559 first letter A subject. How should I ask for a raise? 0:07:20.240 --> 0:07:23.640 Dear Dawn, I've been within my company for nearly five 0:07:23.720 --> 0:07:26.200 years and in my current role as a project manager 0:07:26.280 --> 0:07:28.840 for nearly one year. I live in the UK. By 0:07:28.880 --> 0:07:31.880 the way, After doing a lot of research on websites 0:07:31.960 --> 0:07:34.720 like last Door, I've come to realize my salary so 0:07:34.760 --> 0:07:37.160 far as less than average of my particular role in 0:07:37.200 --> 0:07:40.240 my region. I know I was underpaid anyway, as there 0:07:40.240 --> 0:07:42.520 seems to be a lot of secrecy around the subject 0:07:42.560 --> 0:07:45.280 and being unable to talk about salaries with my peers 0:07:45.320 --> 0:07:48.160 on the same level the offices have been opened throughout 0:07:48.160 --> 0:07:51.320 the whole pandemic. Anyway, I pulled my boss into a 0:07:51.440 --> 0:07:53.240 room and asked for a pay raise the best way 0:07:53.280 --> 0:07:56.440 I could. His response was that I've been in the 0:07:56.440 --> 0:07:58.840 company roll long enough and my work is good enough 0:07:58.880 --> 0:08:01.800 to start thinking about it. However, this was over two 0:08:01.840 --> 0:08:04.080 weeks ago and I have yet to hear anything from 0:08:04.080 --> 0:08:07.680 the conversation. I'm struggling to work out at what point 0:08:07.760 --> 0:08:10.119 I should ask send a reminder about it, and even 0:08:10.160 --> 0:08:12.520 what to say, or if I should say anything at all. 0:08:13.160 --> 0:08:16.480 My life is progressing quite rapidly as a mid twins man, 0:08:16.840 --> 0:08:20.680 and extra pay is verging on it needed rather than 0:08:20.800 --> 0:08:25.880 want it, And what can I do? Hello? You better 0:08:25.960 --> 0:08:28.840 know yourself and know your worth. That means you got 0:08:28.840 --> 0:08:32.199 to speak up, you know. Um, I remember years ago 0:08:32.240 --> 0:08:35.200 I came across this quote, this picture, and uh, it's 0:08:35.200 --> 0:08:37.920 an image of clothing and it says, get off the 0:08:37.960 --> 0:08:44.439 clearance rack and get behind the glass where the valuables are. Hello. 0:08:45.679 --> 0:08:47.720 Usually find the fine things in life behind the class 0:08:47.720 --> 0:08:49.880 because it kind of needs that protection. Nothing to block 0:08:50.000 --> 0:08:52.439 the view of it, but just to add an extra 0:08:52.440 --> 0:08:54.440 show of the protection. You know, always think of diamonds 0:08:54.440 --> 0:08:56.640 and you know we talk about vitamin D. Always think 0:08:56.679 --> 0:08:58.880 about the light and the diamonds. So that's what I 0:08:58.920 --> 0:09:01.800 say to you. Now here's the thing what I want. 0:09:01.840 --> 0:09:04.160 I want to appreciate you for for writing this in 0:09:04.280 --> 0:09:08.200 because there's some awakening going on. And you know, congratulations 0:09:08.200 --> 0:09:12.400 for you for even stepping forth and and confronting your 0:09:12.440 --> 0:09:15.240 boss or I shouldn't say confronting, but pulling your boss 0:09:15.240 --> 0:09:18.960 aside to say, hey, I need to be compensated for 0:09:19.080 --> 0:09:21.520 my worth. And and the thing that I really think 0:09:21.559 --> 0:09:25.240 this is promising is because your boss didn't say no. 0:09:25.960 --> 0:09:28.960 Your boss just said okay. But you have to do 0:09:29.000 --> 0:09:30.880 the follow ups. When we want things out of life, 0:09:31.160 --> 0:09:35.559 you can't ask or expect somebody to demand of you 0:09:35.559 --> 0:09:38.960 to want the best for yourself. You can't expect or 0:09:39.080 --> 0:09:42.680 ask or a demand that somebody wants you to have 0:09:42.760 --> 0:09:45.119 the best life. You have to walk in a situation 0:09:45.160 --> 0:09:47.760 of knowing your worth noring your value so people can 0:09:47.800 --> 0:09:50.120 treat you as as such, and you have to understand 0:09:50.120 --> 0:09:52.640 it and to keep it real with yourself. Here's the 0:09:52.720 --> 0:09:54.600 thing too. One of the first things that I would 0:09:54.640 --> 0:09:57.800 say is get your numbers in order, you know, because 0:09:57.880 --> 0:09:59.760 you can say, hey, I deserve this. But now it's 0:09:59.760 --> 0:10:04.520 time to use the business protocol and write it and 0:10:04.559 --> 0:10:07.120 make it plain were here biblically speaking, write the vision 0:10:07.120 --> 0:10:09.160 and blanket plan. You need to write your efforts, what 0:10:09.240 --> 0:10:11.840 you do and make your play. I myself have been 0:10:11.880 --> 0:10:14.920 in similar situations and going through that right now. It 0:10:15.000 --> 0:10:17.040 comes down to the point where you know your work 0:10:17.480 --> 0:10:19.200 and you can see that if you still been in 0:10:19.240 --> 0:10:22.160 your position and you're still getting accolades and praising for 0:10:22.280 --> 0:10:24.280 your work. Now it's time to get the numbers down, 0:10:24.280 --> 0:10:26.920 because either you're gonna get these numbers down for this 0:10:27.040 --> 0:10:29.440 job or you're gonna be preparing yourself with the next job. 0:10:29.840 --> 0:10:32.560 But here's the thing. You gotta move and just like 0:10:32.600 --> 0:10:34.400 I talked about on Vitamin D, and just like we 0:10:34.400 --> 0:10:37.000 talk about life and being an energy source, you're not 0:10:37.040 --> 0:10:40.400 meant to just stay in the same position because that's functioning, 0:10:40.640 --> 0:10:43.120 and we're not about functioning here. I don't say function 0:10:43.240 --> 0:10:46.800 your best life. I say live your best life. And 0:10:46.840 --> 0:10:48.760 that's gonna cause you to have to get some things 0:10:48.760 --> 0:10:52.200 in order, you know, um, but it's gonna be about 0:10:52.200 --> 0:10:54.520 what you're ready. You're gonna have to get those pieces. 0:10:54.520 --> 0:10:57.199 But I don't think there's anything wrong with following up. 0:10:57.559 --> 0:10:59.120 I think you could definitely do a peek in, but 0:10:59.160 --> 0:11:01.800 I think one importantly get your ducks in order, even 0:11:01.800 --> 0:11:04.720 though ducks don't walk into orders day and three Brown 0:11:04.800 --> 0:11:08.640 told me. But I mean to say, is get down 0:11:08.640 --> 0:11:11.800 what you've done, how long you've been there, and what 0:11:11.840 --> 0:11:14.679 do you feel that you should be compensated for. Because 0:11:14.720 --> 0:11:16.880 if I'm looking at giving you my money, you can say, hey, 0:11:16.960 --> 0:11:19.280 I want some more money done, But show me what 0:11:19.400 --> 0:11:22.199 have you done so that I can see it. Because 0:11:22.440 --> 0:11:25.040 I imagine what your boss is probably over maybe a 0:11:25.080 --> 0:11:28.720 dozen or more other employees. It's not that they don't 0:11:28.800 --> 0:11:31.600 value that, they just might be busy. So I'd say 0:11:31.640 --> 0:11:34.959 you get everything written out. But um, don't sit there 0:11:34.960 --> 0:11:38.120 and be quiet about it because Drake said it. No yourself, No, 0:11:38.240 --> 0:11:41.199 you're you're on your worth. Get off the clearance where 0:11:41.200 --> 0:11:45.160 I can get behind the glass where the valuables are. Hello, 0:11:45.720 --> 0:11:48.600 clothes mouths, don't get fed. I don't know how many 0:11:48.640 --> 0:11:52.400 other ways. UM, I can say, get rich or die. 0:11:52.480 --> 0:11:56.600 Try in um scare money, don't make no money? Um 0:11:56.640 --> 0:12:00.800 hashtag get money, hashtag pick up for yourself and do 0:12:00.800 --> 0:12:04.520 what you gotta do. Okay, but good for you for 0:12:04.679 --> 0:12:07.320 sticking up and taking that first step. And look at you. 0:12:07.360 --> 0:12:10.400 If you're in your mid twenties now, Okay, if you're 0:12:10.400 --> 0:12:12.559 in your mid twenties now and you're able to fool 0:12:12.600 --> 0:12:15.400 your boss aside, imagine when you get to your late twenties, 0:12:15.840 --> 0:12:18.239 and then when you get to your thirties, the men thirties, 0:12:18.520 --> 0:12:20.439 and I know, oh what sounds scary with the age. 0:12:20.440 --> 0:12:22.360 But I say all that to say, it's the growth. 0:12:22.679 --> 0:12:25.640 Because now you may be negotiating what a three thousand, 0:12:25.679 --> 0:12:28.480 five thousand, ten thousand. The next time it's going to 0:12:28.559 --> 0:12:30.800 be more steaks on the line. It's gonna be more 0:12:30.840 --> 0:12:34.080 about more vacation days. What those bonuses are gonna look 0:12:34.080 --> 0:12:37.560 like start acting as if you already are you already 0:12:37.559 --> 0:12:39.640 said You're not in the whole. You know, you're in 0:12:39.640 --> 0:12:44.360 a situation of acquiring the life that you want. You know, 0:12:45.240 --> 0:12:47.000 so I want you to have the best, and I 0:12:47.040 --> 0:12:50.480 want that for yourself too. Okay, all right, let's go 0:12:50.520 --> 0:12:54.880 on to the second letter subject, feel too stressed to think? 0:12:55.520 --> 0:12:59.800 Dear Dawn. I am usually a very chill, laid back guy. 0:13:00.160 --> 0:13:04.079 Since last January, I slowly but truly became more toxic 0:13:04.160 --> 0:13:06.880 and stressed out over time. It began when my father 0:13:07.160 --> 0:13:10.440 was inches away from death due to kidney failure. I 0:13:10.520 --> 0:13:13.600 was devastated. They told me a transplant might be needed. 0:13:13.960 --> 0:13:17.960 He somehow miraculously got better in February, but I remained stressed. 0:13:18.520 --> 0:13:21.839 Then it all went downhill with the Corona Lockdown. During it, 0:13:22.280 --> 0:13:24.600 I was extremely stressed because it was my last year 0:13:24.640 --> 0:13:26.920 of medical school and no one knew what would happen 0:13:27.080 --> 0:13:29.920 or if we would need to go out into the field. 0:13:30.280 --> 0:13:33.000 Also was amplified by the past events with my father 0:13:33.080 --> 0:13:37.320 and the isolation of lockdown itself. Things ended up going 0:13:37.320 --> 0:13:40.120 smoothly and I'm not working on my residency, but I 0:13:40.200 --> 0:13:44.400 remained extremely stressed. I try to relax, but I just 0:13:44.440 --> 0:13:47.079 can't stop thinking about all the suffering that people are 0:13:47.120 --> 0:13:50.200 going through, and how my father is super high risk 0:13:50.280 --> 0:13:53.679 and how I'm unable to see him. So after months 0:13:53.679 --> 0:13:55.839 of this, it is taking a very big toll on 0:13:55.920 --> 0:13:59.160 my relationships. I've been snapping with my girlfriend, I haven't 0:13:59.160 --> 0:14:02.240 spoken to my friend some weeks. I rarely even call 0:14:02.360 --> 0:14:05.040 my dad. I just don't know how to stop the 0:14:05.080 --> 0:14:08.520 downward spout or find the light in my life. Is 0:14:08.559 --> 0:14:12.840 there anything you think I should try? Hello young man, 0:14:14.240 --> 0:14:20.960 Thank you, thank you, Thank you for reaching out, thank 0:14:21.000 --> 0:14:23.440 you for saying that I'm not okay, and I'm here 0:14:23.440 --> 0:14:26.840 to tell you that it's okay not to be okay, 0:14:26.880 --> 0:14:30.720 because oftentimes, you know, people get so used of not 0:14:30.840 --> 0:14:34.280 being okay that it becomes their norm and they start 0:14:34.360 --> 0:14:38.000 to observe everything that you said, but rather than saying, hey, 0:14:38.120 --> 0:14:41.160 is there something I can do or I should try, 0:14:41.320 --> 0:14:44.360 they kind of just wallow in it. So one of 0:14:44.400 --> 0:14:50.240 the first things I'd say, definitely put your feelers out there, 0:14:50.680 --> 0:14:54.320 open up your mind to see a therapist, because you 0:14:54.360 --> 0:14:56.560 can have, you know, friends, and you can listen to 0:14:56.640 --> 0:14:59.400 motivational tapes, you can meditate, you can listen to music, 0:14:59.560 --> 0:15:02.720 but I think sometimes it takes somebody skilled in that 0:15:02.880 --> 0:15:06.000 area that can really give you the advice and the 0:15:06.080 --> 0:15:09.040 viewpoint that you really can need. But in the instroim 0:15:09.320 --> 0:15:11.400 or not. Blood, let's go and because this is something 0:15:11.640 --> 0:15:17.880 in addition to right, keep asking yourself these questions, keep 0:15:17.920 --> 0:15:20.160 taking note of the times that you aren't feeling okay 0:15:20.160 --> 0:15:23.760 and when they're happening, and start to write, write it 0:15:23.800 --> 0:15:27.240 down because um, it's something different. You know. I've talked 0:15:27.240 --> 0:15:31.160 about this before. I've talked about how the importance of 0:15:31.520 --> 0:15:35.840 writing division and and making it plain. I talked about 0:15:35.880 --> 0:15:39.960 how you have to be sure to have the communication 0:15:40.040 --> 0:15:44.160 with your spirit mind and your physical mind. And the 0:15:44.200 --> 0:15:48.200 whole idea is is that you have to realize you're 0:15:48.240 --> 0:15:53.240 a physical being having a spiritual experience. And what that 0:15:53.320 --> 0:15:56.880 being said is that while you may have these feelings, 0:15:56.880 --> 0:15:59.640 but are you physically being aware? And sometimes it takes 0:16:00.080 --> 0:16:03.160 you to see it to catch it. So as you're 0:16:03.200 --> 0:16:05.320 going through these films, white down your feelings so you 0:16:05.320 --> 0:16:07.760 can see what it is, so you can see at 0:16:07.760 --> 0:16:10.440 what point you're feeling this, and therefore you're gonna start 0:16:10.440 --> 0:16:12.760 to have the dialogue with yourself. And then what is 0:16:12.800 --> 0:16:14.800 it that you wish you did have, because if you 0:16:14.920 --> 0:16:17.920 keep being in this dark situation, the very moment that 0:16:17.960 --> 0:16:21.240 got you in the shock about your dad could be 0:16:21.280 --> 0:16:23.320 the very results of you're not saying him. What do 0:16:23.400 --> 0:16:25.640 I mean by that, Well, you just said that back 0:16:25.680 --> 0:16:28.760 in February or January last year year you had a 0:16:28.800 --> 0:16:32.160 scary bout with your dad, right and you weren't necessarily 0:16:32.360 --> 0:16:37.600 um sure of how things are gonna turn out. Because 0:16:37.640 --> 0:16:40.000 if you're not careful right now, what you're gonna realize 0:16:40.040 --> 0:16:42.320 is that you're gonna miss all the moment with your 0:16:42.360 --> 0:16:46.000 dad and if anything anything, Because I can relate to this, 0:16:47.320 --> 0:16:49.680 my god, not having a parent there, so I know 0:16:49.800 --> 0:16:53.200 exactly what the trauma that you went through the fact 0:16:53.240 --> 0:16:58.760 the idea of not knowing. I mean, I live in California. 0:17:00.000 --> 0:17:03.440 We have earthquakes. Now. I'm cool with them now as 0:17:03.480 --> 0:17:06.840 far as like I'm not tripping, but it is literally 0:17:07.200 --> 0:17:11.879 the earth shaking beneath your feet and everything around you, 0:17:12.960 --> 0:17:16.439 which that's you know, you have control of nothing. So 0:17:16.520 --> 0:17:20.120 I can imagine when you said, like, hey, Dawn, my 0:17:20.359 --> 0:17:24.920 dad was inches away from death due to kidney failure. 0:17:25.320 --> 0:17:29.879 That is like your whole world is being rocked. And 0:17:29.920 --> 0:17:34.960 if you think that's not something to take serious, who 0:17:34.960 --> 0:17:37.159 do you think that you are? And how dare you 0:17:37.280 --> 0:17:43.160 not treat yourself with grace? Huh? Nobody's perfect. So when 0:17:43.200 --> 0:17:46.840 I say that, treat yourself with grace as such, because 0:17:46.920 --> 0:17:48.879 if you're in a situation, I think that's everything is 0:17:48.880 --> 0:17:51.080 supposed to be okay. When you almost lost the man 0:17:51.160 --> 0:17:54.320 that brought you into this world, one of the earliest 0:17:54.359 --> 0:17:59.639 representations of a man a figure in your life. And 0:17:59.680 --> 0:18:01.040 you know, there is the thing we get to itself, 0:18:01.080 --> 0:18:03.439 this whole part of sometimes functioning that goes back to 0:18:03.440 --> 0:18:05.600 the functioning thing when we start to ignore things and 0:18:05.800 --> 0:18:08.000 you just start to move about in life and this 0:18:08.160 --> 0:18:11.119 whole functioning you don't even realize all the rough bumps 0:18:11.119 --> 0:18:13.919 that you're hitting just because you've chosen not to get 0:18:14.000 --> 0:18:15.439 to the heart of the matter. But see, for you, 0:18:15.480 --> 0:18:19.640 I appreciate it because this God that's all children laid back. 0:18:19.720 --> 0:18:23.959 You're noticing the difference with how you feel. And here's 0:18:24.000 --> 0:18:27.080 the thing. If you don't say anything, if you don't 0:18:27.119 --> 0:18:30.000 get the help that you need, you can lose everything. 0:18:30.640 --> 0:18:33.639 When you're stressed out that attects your health. You know 0:18:33.840 --> 0:18:36.879 I mentioned this before on a podcast episode. But I 0:18:36.920 --> 0:18:39.399 remember when I was on Last Make a Deal and 0:18:39.440 --> 0:18:41.760 I talked to this nurse and um, we had made 0:18:41.800 --> 0:18:44.560 mention about cancer, and we were just talking about different 0:18:44.600 --> 0:18:46.600 diseases and what people die of, and I spoke about 0:18:46.640 --> 0:18:48.600 my mom and I was like, wow, you know my 0:18:48.640 --> 0:18:51.600 mom died of cancer. And then she said, hey, you 0:18:51.640 --> 0:18:54.240 know why a lot of people feel as though that 0:18:54.359 --> 0:18:59.040 it is um cancer or different diseases that people are cancer, 0:18:59.040 --> 0:19:01.320 I should say rather, she said, well, a lot of 0:19:01.320 --> 0:19:04.800 people think that cancer. She said, do you know the 0:19:04.880 --> 0:19:07.640 number one reason or the cause of death is stress. 0:19:09.400 --> 0:19:12.560 You can't afford the stress. And remember stress is the 0:19:12.600 --> 0:19:16.439 whole thing that blocks things. Stress is pressure. Now, there 0:19:16.480 --> 0:19:19.960 are some instances where pressure apply can make diamonds, right, 0:19:20.400 --> 0:19:22.679 but this ain't the time of pressure or stress that 0:19:22.720 --> 0:19:24.800 you need because you're not You don't have the ability 0:19:24.840 --> 0:19:27.919 to grow, you don't have the ability to move. So 0:19:28.000 --> 0:19:30.720 this stress is gonna knock you in your health, your sanity, 0:19:30.760 --> 0:19:32.840 everything that you built up to do the residency. You 0:19:32.880 --> 0:19:35.040 thought that the coronavirus gonna get in a way. How 0:19:35.040 --> 0:19:38.359 about you dealing with the anxiety virus getting in the way, 0:19:38.520 --> 0:19:41.200 the stress virus getting in a way. Then you're talking 0:19:41.240 --> 0:19:44.840 about how you're working on this residency. How are you 0:19:44.880 --> 0:19:47.280 going to be focused if you're playing your your your 0:19:47.440 --> 0:19:50.000 your mind is racked, and if that's happening at work. 0:19:50.280 --> 0:19:52.919 You're even saying that this is happening with your friends 0:19:52.960 --> 0:19:56.959 and even with your girlfriend. Don't let that mess up 0:19:56.960 --> 0:20:00.840 your home. And and then like I want to just 0:20:00.880 --> 0:20:03.400 circle back, you're saying you rarely even call your dad. 0:20:03.480 --> 0:20:06.240 You went from one moment a feeling with life would 0:20:06.240 --> 0:20:08.480 be shocked, and how your world will be locked up 0:20:08.560 --> 0:20:11.359 not having him in your life. He's still here right 0:20:11.359 --> 0:20:14.360 now and you're unable to call him. As someone who 0:20:14.400 --> 0:20:17.560 cannot call their mother or their father, I suggest that 0:20:17.600 --> 0:20:19.639 you would get the support that you need because if 0:20:19.680 --> 0:20:22.920 you think it's hard now, imagine when you can't pick 0:20:23.000 --> 0:20:26.600 up the phone. You can't because something is saying and 0:20:26.720 --> 0:20:28.199 you that you need to work through the pick up 0:20:28.200 --> 0:20:29.840 the phone to call. But what do I when you 0:20:30.000 --> 0:20:35.120 physically can't? So yes, get a therapist. Do not let 0:20:35.160 --> 0:20:37.480 your world go down. Do not feel like you've gotta 0:20:37.520 --> 0:20:39.200 be superman, that you got it all to have it 0:20:39.240 --> 0:20:43.879 all together. Remember their strength and vulnerability. You gotta let 0:20:43.880 --> 0:20:47.560 it flow. It's nothing different than the water. It's something 0:20:47.600 --> 0:20:51.080 that can give life and drown you. Do you hear 0:20:51.080 --> 0:20:54.920 what I'm saying. Water can give you life and it 0:20:55.000 --> 0:20:58.399 can take it away. It doesn't take away the beauty 0:20:58.440 --> 0:21:02.159 of it. But I say to you, don't let this 0:21:02.359 --> 0:21:05.960 drown you. Take a simp of life by stepping into 0:21:05.960 --> 0:21:08.240 the light. Step into the life, by seeing a therapist, 0:21:08.400 --> 0:21:11.000 stepping into the light, by doing the journaling, step into 0:21:11.040 --> 0:21:13.879 the light, by raising your sin and say I'm not okay. 0:21:13.880 --> 0:21:16.240 And you started it with me, but make sure you 0:21:16.280 --> 0:21:17.840 do it at home to do what check in with 0:21:18.000 --> 0:21:21.119 So check in with self. You know, Vinamon did is 0:21:21.119 --> 0:21:23.240 about selves, as selfish as it might sound, might even 0:21:23.240 --> 0:21:25.199 died is about self because you realize that when you 0:21:25.240 --> 0:21:28.040 treat yourself with such that like that, you allowed the 0:21:28.080 --> 0:21:30.560 light to shine and you it, it shines out to others. 0:21:31.200 --> 0:21:34.400 And that's what it's about, that synergy. So I would 0:21:34.440 --> 0:21:41.000 definitely recommend to go see a therapist. You know, um, 0:21:41.080 --> 0:21:43.440 you don't know how how much time we have left 0:21:43.440 --> 0:21:44.840 on this earth, and you want to make sure that 0:21:44.880 --> 0:21:47.840 you value each moment life. It's too short to be 0:21:47.960 --> 0:21:52.879 stressed out. Life is too short to be not be enjoyed, 0:21:53.800 --> 0:22:00.879