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Speaker 1: On this week's episode of Cultivating her Space, denial is

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Speaker 1: where the mess begins. So like just being honest with

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Speaker 1: yourself on where are you, how do you feel? And

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Speaker 1: where do you want things to go? And being able

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Speaker 1: to communicate the things that feel that you feel comfortable

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Speaker 1: communicating with them.

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Speaker 2: Hey lady, have you ever felt like the world just

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Speaker 2: doesn't get you? Well, we do.

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Speaker 1: Welcome to Cultivating her Space, the podcast dedicated to uplifting

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Speaker 1: and empowering women like you.

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Speaker 2: We're your hosts, doctor Dominique Brussard and educator and psychologists.

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Speaker 1: And Terry Lomax, a techie and transformational speaker.

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Speaker 2: Join us every week for authentic conversations about everything from

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Speaker 2: fibroids to fake friends. As we create space for black

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Speaker 2: women to just be.

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Speaker 1: Before we dive in, make sure you hit that fillow

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Speaker 1: button and leave us a quick five star review. We

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Speaker 1: are black founded and black owned, and your support will

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Speaker 1: help us reach even more women like you.

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Speaker 2: Now, let's get into this week's episode of Cultivating her Space.

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Speaker 1: If you're feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or unsure of your next steps,

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Speaker 1: this is for you. Hey, lady, is tea here and

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Speaker 1: I just want to invite you to my free goal

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Speaker 1: map like a pro coaching workshop, where I'll share the

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Speaker 1: five proven steps to get unstuck and achieve your goals.

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Speaker 1: Whether you're feeling overwhelmed by all your ideas, juggling scattered ideas,

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Speaker 1: or maybe you just need confidence to start, this workshop

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Speaker 1: will give you the clarity, tools and the motivation to

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Speaker 1: take back control. Reserve your spot for free by visiting

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Speaker 1: her spacepodcast dot com and clicking on the goal map

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Speaker 1: like a pro webinar link. Lady, don't miss this chance

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Speaker 1: to build a roadmap that fits your life and set

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Speaker 1: you up for success. I hope to see you there.

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Speaker 2: Our quote of the day, having a soulmate is not

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Speaker 2: always about love. You can find your soulmate in friendship too.

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Speaker 2: Mm hmm. You heard it, but I'm gonna say it again.

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Speaker 2: Having a soulmate is not always about love. You can

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Speaker 2: find your soulmates in a friendship too. All right. See, Okay,

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Speaker 2: so you know our topic for today, Male female relationships, friendships,

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Speaker 2: bonds connecting. When you hear that quote, what comes up

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Speaker 2: for you?

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Speaker 1: So when I hear that quote within the context of

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Speaker 1: the conversation we're having, I would like reframe the quote

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Speaker 1: and I would say, can you say, what're my time?

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Speaker 1: I want to make sure I don't mess it up?

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Speaker 1: What was it?

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Speaker 2: Yes, it's having a soulmate is not always about love.

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Speaker 2: You can find your soulmate in a friendship too.

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Speaker 1: I will replace love with sex just because I feel

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Speaker 1: like I've had friendships where there's let and this was

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Speaker 1: actually a female friendship where there's love and we felt

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Speaker 1: like soulmates, but it was platonic. And so I think

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Speaker 1: that you can usually when you feel like someone's your soulmate,

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Speaker 1: there is a level of love and care that you

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Speaker 1: have for that person, in my experience at least, And

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Speaker 1: so that's kind of like what I would what I

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Speaker 1: would tweak from that particular quote. But I do believe

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Speaker 1: that having a soulmate doesn't necessarily mean that that has

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Speaker 1: to be an intimate relationship that you have with a person.

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Speaker 2: A physically physically.

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Speaker 1: Yes, and thank you for that physically intimate What about you?

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Speaker 1: What comes up for you when you hear this quote?

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Speaker 2: I think similarly to you that I think a soulmate

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Speaker 2: isn't always about doesn't have to always be about or

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Speaker 2: connect it to romance. That you can have a soulmate

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Speaker 2: someone like to me, when I think of soulmate, I

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Speaker 2: think of this is your person, This is the person

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Speaker 2: who gets you, who understands you, and there's a deeper

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Speaker 2: connection there, and that connection there may be love there.

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Speaker 2: But love looks differently, right, Like love is the love

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Speaker 2: I have for a family member is not the same

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Speaker 2: love that I might have for a colleague or a

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Speaker 2: romantic partner. And so I'm with you on that. I

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Speaker 2: think that the key here for me, The word is romance,

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Speaker 2: right that like you can have you can have a soulmate,

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Speaker 2: and that there's no romance in that.

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Speaker 1: I like that a lot. That makes perfect sense. Okay,

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Speaker 1: so lady, we're about to get into this conversation. Now, lady,

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Speaker 1: as you, as we enter into the conversation, think about this, right,

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Speaker 1: have you ever had a male friend who swore he

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Speaker 1: just wanted to be friends until he didn't or maybe

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Speaker 1: you do have that one homeboy and y'all been solid

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Speaker 1: for years and never cross the line. Today we're asking

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Speaker 1: the question that sparks many debates, especially on the interwebs,

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Speaker 1: and the question is can women really have platonic friendships

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Speaker 1: with men? Now, Dom, I don't know if you saw

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Speaker 1: this stat but according to psychology today, sixty two percent

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Speaker 1: of people have had platonic friendships turned sexual. So are

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Speaker 1: we setting ourselves up or is this a myth we

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Speaker 1: need to let go of. Let's dive on in. Okay, So, dom,

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Speaker 1: have you ever had a platonic friendship with a man

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Speaker 1: that almost crossed the line or did cross the line,

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Speaker 1: and if so, what happened and did the friendship survive?

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Speaker 2: Nope?

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Speaker 1: Never?

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Speaker 2: Never? Really nope?

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Speaker 1: Interesting? Okay, So no platonic friendships have Okay, I.

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Speaker 2: Have more I haven't. Okay, so let me let me,

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Speaker 2: let me clear up, let me get more contexts. Okay,

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Speaker 2: because like because people are I'm sure somebody listening, like girls,

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Speaker 2: you what? Never? Let me get clear. I have never

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Speaker 2: had a platonic friendship with a guy that crossed the line.

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Speaker 2: M hm, never happened. I have. I have had friendships

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Speaker 2: that maybe we dated first and then we became we

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Speaker 2: moved to friendship.

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Speaker 1: Okay.

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Speaker 2: I have had friendships where one or the other or

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Speaker 2: both may have had some type of attraction to the

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Speaker 2: other person, but lines were but still lines were never crossed.

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Speaker 2: And I have platonic friendships that there was never any

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Speaker 2: at least not to my knowledge, be clear, at least

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Speaker 2: not to my knowledge, there was never any attraction there.

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Speaker 1: Okay, interesting, Okay, So when I was thinking about this

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Speaker 1: question as we were, I was like thinking about my

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Speaker 1: friendships with men in general, and I couldn't really think

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Speaker 1: of one would actually cross the line. That I do

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Speaker 1: remember an instance where it could have crossed the line

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Speaker 1: because the other person was trying to like push for

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Speaker 1: something and I set a boundary, and I was just like,

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Speaker 1: I don't think, No, I'm not interested in this right

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Speaker 1: And I think, honestly, I think sex can complicate things,

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Speaker 1: like if you do cross the line on you, once

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Speaker 1: you have that experience, you can't take it back. And

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Speaker 1: so when you have a genuine friend, I think it's

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Speaker 1: there are some things that need to be discussed, which

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Speaker 1: we're going to dig into in just a bit. But no,

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Speaker 1: I don't think I've had that happen either off the

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Speaker 1: job my memory, and see if there's another situation. But

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Speaker 1: the second question I have for you is do you

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Speaker 1: believe men and women can truly just be friends or

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Speaker 1: do you think sexual attension is always going to be

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Speaker 1: lurking in the background. And I think that there's a

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Speaker 1: distinction here between men and women that are attracted to

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Speaker 1: each other or what.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, so I do think that men and women. And

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Speaker 2: I want to also back up and clarify for our

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Speaker 2: audience that we're speaking specifically of heterosexual interactions. Yes, okay,

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Speaker 2: So for me, I have I have gay male friends,

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Speaker 2: and because they are interested in women, we don't have

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Speaker 2: that issue, right, So that's never, that's never in my

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Speaker 2: specific relationships. Let me be clear, because everybody's stuff is different.

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Speaker 2: In my specific relationships with my gay male friends, that's

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Speaker 2: not an issue. So I'm not speaking of those friendships, right.

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Speaker 2: The issue we may more likely run into is being

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Speaker 2: attracted to the same guy. And that's a whole other

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Speaker 2: topic of conversation. Oh okay, so that's a whole different

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Speaker 2: conversation for a different episode.

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Speaker 3: It is.

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Speaker 2: But we're speaking specifically around heterosexual dynamics because there's also

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Speaker 2: the thing of if you have lesbian or queer female friends,

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Speaker 2: there could be attraction there, right. Yeah, But again, those

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Speaker 2: aren't the relationships that we're talking about today. We are

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Speaker 2: speaking specifically about the dynamics of folks who identify as heterosexual.

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Speaker 2: And so go.

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Speaker 1: Ahead, No, I was just gonna say yes, and because

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Speaker 1: when you said that, I'm like, okay, yeah, but I

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Speaker 1: also have had a situation with a by male friend

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Speaker 1: where we're really close and then some things they showed interest.

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Speaker 1: And so it could lady get in where you're finding

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Speaker 1: because I feel like the world is so different these days,

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Speaker 1: people have different ways that they're identifying that it could

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Speaker 1: you could find yourself in a situation right where you

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Speaker 1: have this by friend who's interesting you and your you

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Speaker 1: know what I mean, that's at your point.

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Speaker 2: Yes, Okay, so I think yeah, so let's clarify that

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Speaker 2: we are speaking of these friendships particularly heterosexual, but there

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Speaker 2: is room for bisexual male friends when the male is

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Speaker 2: bisexual identified as bisexual. Yeah, yes, because what we're speaking

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Speaker 2: about in this conversation, the concern, the controversy that keeps

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Speaker 2: coming up is around can you be friends without there

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Speaker 2: being any type of romantic or sexual interests? Yeah, and

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Speaker 2: so that's why I think we're narrowing in on heterosexual

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Speaker 2: and potentially bisexual identities.

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Speaker 1: That makes sense, That makes sense. Okay, There's so much

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Speaker 1: that we could dive into. Dom I want to share

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Speaker 1: another thing because I'm wondering if now, Okay, so I

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Speaker 1: do believe that the men and women can be friends.

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Speaker 3: Right.

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Speaker 1: Yes, I think that when you are attracted to each

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Speaker 1: other and you're single, it can be tricky. I do

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Speaker 1: believe that. I think it's the attraction level in the

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Speaker 1: fact that you have the availability, right. Because when I

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Speaker 1: was married, I had male friends, but most were either

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Speaker 1: my partner's friends or they had partners of their own,

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Speaker 1: so it was like a clear boundary. We didn't spend

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Speaker 1: any intimate time together in certain situations that were like

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Speaker 1: one on one because it just didn't feel appropriate and

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Speaker 1: that's just not what we did. But now that I'm

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Speaker 1: single and have single male friends, I find that boundaries

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Speaker 1: are crucial. Yes, it's super important, and if sex is

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Speaker 1: even a remote possibility, I think it's important to talk

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Speaker 1: about it and like get clearing your intentions so you

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Speaker 1: don't damage their friendship. But it does feel trickier for

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Speaker 1: me as a single woman with a single man. It's like, Hey,

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Speaker 1: we're both attracted to the attracted to each other. What's

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Speaker 1: stopping us from going there if we wanted to, Right.

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Speaker 2: That's an important point. But I also would like to

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Speaker 2: know that no matter what your relationship status is, it

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Speaker 2: is important to have boundaries.

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Speaker 1: That's a good point.

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Speaker 2: Because as you were talking one of the I was

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Speaker 2: thinking about folks who are in in couple relationships, whatever

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Speaker 2: that level is with you are partnered, that doesn't automatically

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Speaker 2: rule you out from taking action on an attraction to

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Speaker 2: another person. It's true, and I think that that is

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Speaker 2: the thing that is the piece that can get some

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Speaker 2: people caught up because they might lower their boundaries or

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Speaker 2: expectations or communication because they make assumptions about well, me

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Speaker 2: being in a partnered dynamic automatically means that people know

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Speaker 2: I'm off limits. No it doesn't, okay, And you didn't

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Speaker 2: talk about it. No, it doesn't. And so I think

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Speaker 2: it's important, and we'll talk more about this a little

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Speaker 2: bit later, but it is, communication and boundaries are very

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Speaker 2: important no matter what your relationship status is.

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Speaker 1: Amen to that, Okay, y'all. So let's take in a

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Speaker 1: little bit deeper into this conversation. So let's just first

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Speaker 1: talk about the value of platonic friendships, because I think

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Speaker 1: that we both can probably list off a ton of

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Speaker 1: value that we get from them. I think, in my experience,

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Speaker 1: I've realized that men and women just bring different emotional

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Speaker 1: energies to a scenario, right, These friendships can offer emotional balance,

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Speaker 1: unique insights, especially a deeper understanding of the opposite sex.

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Speaker 1: When you have those conversations you're like, what's going on

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Speaker 1: with the you know, talking about the dating world and

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Speaker 1: all that, you can get some insight from them. I

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Speaker 1: think it can also just help to sharpen your dating

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Speaker 1: lens and just get that fresh perspective on specific situations

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Speaker 1: and unfiltered feedback that you may not get from your

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Speaker 1: female counterparts. I've had situations where I've shared the same

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Speaker 1: situation with a homeboy versus a homegirl, and you get

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Speaker 1: different responses, right, So it's like a nice sort of

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Speaker 1: holistic view. And then I think the last thing is

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Speaker 1: it's a safe space. It can be a safe space

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Speaker 1: when boundaries are clear, and that emotional support without the

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Speaker 1: romantic pressure can be very healing. And also just you know,

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Speaker 1: like just kind of like okay, it can be a relief,

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Speaker 1: is what I want to say.

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Speaker 2: Yes, And I think I think also too, it's important

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Speaker 2: to have a variety of perspectives in your friendships. And

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Speaker 2: so I think when I think about not just my

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Speaker 2: own personal friendships, but when I think about friendships that

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Speaker 2: I hear about from other people, from clients, from students.

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Speaker 2: It's important to have a variety of perspectives in your

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Speaker 2: social circle and that male female dynamic. Again, no matter

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Speaker 2: what your relationship status is, there are things that perhaps

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Speaker 2: your male friend may bring to the table that your

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Speaker 2: female friends might not, and vice versa. And so I

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Speaker 2: think it's about looking at for you as an individual,

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Speaker 2: what are the values that you seek in friendships and

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Speaker 2: who are the people that can bring those to the table.

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Speaker 1: Yes, I would agree with that, Okay, So shall we

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Speaker 1: talk about attraction? Is attraction always a deal breaker? So

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Speaker 1: when I think about having friendships with men, heterosexual men,

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Speaker 1: I'm still new for me in this post divorce phase, right,

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Speaker 1: So I would say it's easy for me to have

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Speaker 1: friendships with men who are not my type and who

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Speaker 1: I'm not attracted to because it's just, you know, there's

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Speaker 1: no romantic desire there. But sometimes what I find out

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Speaker 1: is that the male may be attracted, he may want

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Speaker 1: something more, but usually but I would be the one

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Speaker 1: setting the boundary. And so I think that presents an

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Speaker 1: interesting scenario. And I also saw something online where they

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Speaker 1: said male friends, they're like, wait, they're usually just like

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Speaker 1: waiting for their chance. Not all of them, but I'm

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Speaker 1: just saying it said that some of them do. They're like, Okay, well,

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Speaker 1: if I can't have her, I'll just settle for being

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Speaker 1: her friend, and the opportunity of ever presents itself, then

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Speaker 1: I'll be here. You know. So I think that does

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Speaker 1: happen in some situations. But what you need to say.

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Speaker 2: Laugh because I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure that that

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Speaker 2: can happen in some situations.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I also know that because I've experienced it, that you

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Speaker 2: can have someone that you're friends with and it's not there,

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Speaker 2: there's never that attraction there, right. You can also have

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Speaker 2: someone that you're friends with and the attraction can be

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Speaker 2: acknowledged and you all are clear that you a dope individual.

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Speaker 2: I'm a dope individual, but we're not gonna be too

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Speaker 2: dope people together in a romantic relationship. This friendship is

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Speaker 2: what truly works for us. And I think that also

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Speaker 2: comes with setting acknowledging it and setting those boundaries right,

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Speaker 2: so it doesn't have to be a deal breaker. But

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Speaker 2: I also think that it's about what each person values

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Speaker 2: and what's important in terms of how they want to

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Speaker 2: have their different relationship dynamics, because I know that there

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Speaker 2: are people out there who are very adamant that if

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Speaker 2: I'm in a relationship, I will not I'm not gonna

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Speaker 2: have friends of the opposite sex, and neither can my partner.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I don't agree with that. I don't think that that's healthy.

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Speaker 2: But I also recognize that each individual has the right

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Speaker 2: to determine for themselves what works and what doesn't. If

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Speaker 2: you know that you're not good with boundaries, and you

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Speaker 2: know that you can easily find your friends attractive, then okay,

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Speaker 2: maybe that maybe you don't need to have friends of

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Speaker 2: the opposite sets. Yeah, if you were. If you know

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Speaker 2: that you are someone who deals with a lot of insecurity,

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Speaker 2: which is usually what's propelling people to say I don't

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Speaker 2: want my partner to have friends of the opposite sets, you,

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Speaker 2: then that's something for you to take notice of and

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Speaker 2: for you to address.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that's a really good point, don I would agree

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Speaker 1: with you. I think that I don't think that attraction

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Speaker 1: has to be a deal breaker. I think that just

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Speaker 1: because you have an attraction doesn't mean that you have

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Speaker 1: to act on it. Like just because someone attracted doesn't

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Speaker 1: mean you want to have sex. With them necessarily right.

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Speaker 1: And I think that feeling a vibe doesn't mean that

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Speaker 1: the friendship is doomed. Like you said, boundaries are important.

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Speaker 1: You can acknowledge it, don't suppress it, because I feel

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Speaker 1: like when you start suppressing it, then it starts to

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Speaker 1: show up in different ways. So you can say, like,

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Speaker 1: like you said, I noticed there's something here, but I

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Speaker 1: value what we have and that can bring clarity and

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Speaker 1: not chaos and confusion into the situation. So I think

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Speaker 1: that's a really good point. And also I think that

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Speaker 1: there's a level of maturity in knowing the difference between

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Speaker 1: a fleeting feeling and a real threat to a friendship.

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Speaker 1: So yes, if y'all are drinking and you go out,

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Speaker 1: you're like, oh, you're looking kind good after this, you know,

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Speaker 1: this last shot, whatever it might be, it's like, do

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Speaker 1: you really want to act on that and like ruin

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Speaker 1: what you have? Because I have a lot of fears

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Speaker 1: on I don't know if we're going to talk about

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Speaker 1: this soon, but a lot of fears on what can

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Speaker 1: happen when you do cross the boundary and how that

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Speaker 1: can set you up for problems in the future. So

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Speaker 1: I don't know where we're going to talk about that,

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Speaker 1: but I definitely want to circle back to that point.

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Speaker 2: I do think that that is an important point, and

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Speaker 2: we will circle back to that. I think also too,

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Speaker 2: it's about knowing. Part of that emotional maturity is about

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Speaker 2: knowing yourself. Right. I know myself that there are times

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Speaker 2: when when I'm engaging with people, I could see, I

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Speaker 2: have the awareness where I could see where it may

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Speaker 2: come across as flirtatious, right, or it may be so

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Speaker 2: warm and inviting that it may give off that I'm

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Speaker 2: attracted to the person. Yeah, when that's not the case

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Speaker 2: at all. Right, It's who I am, and that's who

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Speaker 2: i am, no matter who the person is that I'm

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Speaker 2: talking to, no matter what their identity is, right, And

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Speaker 2: so I think it's about having that awareness for yourself

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Speaker 2: and also reading the room. How is the person? How

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Speaker 2: is your friend responding to you? Right? If you know

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Speaker 2: that generally, like, there are things, there are times when

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Speaker 2: you can be kind of flirtatious. Is your friend flirting back?

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Speaker 1: Mm hmm?

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Speaker 2: If they are, then okay, wait, maybe we might need

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Speaker 2: to pause and have a conversation.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: If they're not, then they get you and we're in

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Speaker 2: all as well. Mm hmm.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, And I think that when you talked about emotional maturity,

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Speaker 1: I think there are a couple of ways that we

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Speaker 1: can see what or we can identify how emotional maturity

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Speaker 1: looks in real life. And so one we'll kind of

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Speaker 1: go back to what we said earlier, name the vibe

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Speaker 1: without making it weird, right, because when you suppress things,

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Speaker 1: it ends up coming up in ways that you really

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Speaker 1: don't intend for to come up. So seeing something like, hey,

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Speaker 1: I sent something here, but I'm clear on my boundaries

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Speaker 1: and I respect ours and what we're building here, So

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Speaker 1: I just want to say, like, you look it good

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Speaker 1: over there, but I'm gonna keep it. We're gonna keep

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Speaker 1: it right here, right, like just calling it out so

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Speaker 1: you know, Okay, this is how I feel, this is

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Speaker 1: where we're at. I think that could be helpful.

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Speaker 2: Yes, I agree, And I think also I also want

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Speaker 2: to acknowledge that sometimes people don't quite feel comfortable naming it,

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Speaker 2: and so if you don't feel comfortable naming it, make

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Speaker 2: sure your actions speak for themselves. Then. So if you

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Speaker 2: don't feel comfortable naming, I think I'm feeling an attraction,

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Speaker 2: right because I think that speaks to the fear of

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Speaker 2: changing the dynamic. Right, So if you don't feel comfortable

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Speaker 2: necessarily saying I think I'm feeling an attraction, then make

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Speaker 2: sure your actions are clear that this is strictly a friend.

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Speaker 2: Make sure that you're not coming across as flirting. Make

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Speaker 2: sure that you're not inviting them to your home after

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Speaker 2: ten o'clock at night, right, or whatever whatever your boundaries

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Speaker 2: might be. Right, I'm talking at ten o'clock out because

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Speaker 2: for whatever reason in the interwebs, ten o'clock seems to

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Speaker 2: be that cut off time where we move from platonic

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Speaker 2: to booty call hours. So and so you make sure

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Speaker 2: that you are upholding certain boundaries that your actions reflect

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Speaker 2: that we are platonic friends.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and Tom, I think also when you name it,

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Speaker 1: it could be naming it within yourself, like just getting

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Speaker 1: clear on it, not suppressing it within like, because like

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Speaker 1: you said, it could be it could be awkward to

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Speaker 1: mention to the other person. I've had people do that,

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Speaker 1: and it can change the dynamic because they're like, damn,

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Speaker 1: they're looking at me like this, and I thought we

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Speaker 1: were just, you know, cool. So that's a really good point.

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Speaker 1: I would say. Also when it comes to emotional maturity,

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Speaker 1: not using them as a placeholder for a partner, if

396
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Speaker 1: you all have not discussed that, Like if that's when

397
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Speaker 1: you all have established it, and you're like, you know what,

398
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Speaker 1: we're going to go on dates. We're going to do

399
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Speaker 1: this thing. But it's not a romantic type of thing.

400
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Speaker 1: It's just for hanging out. That's one thing. But if

401
00:24:03,320 --> 00:24:05,560
Speaker 1: you're just oh, I'm lonely, I really want to go

402
00:24:05,600 --> 00:24:07,800
Speaker 1: somewhere with someone and you just want to use them

403
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Speaker 1: as a placeholder, I think that's really important to like call,

404
00:24:11,680 --> 00:24:13,720
Speaker 1: you know, just kind of bring attention to for yourself

405
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Speaker 1: if you're emotionally leaning on them as your actual person.

406
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Speaker 1: I think that's where we get into the red flag area, right, Yeah.

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Speaker 2: And I think it's important to also be gentle with

408
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Speaker 2: yourself because the reality of that is that sometimes we

409
00:24:31,080 --> 00:24:35,160
Speaker 2: have people as emotional placeholders and we don't realize it

410
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Speaker 2: until sometime deeper in or after the fact, right. And

411
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Speaker 2: so it's to me it's truly about staying constantly aware. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: So if you find yourself take a moment every now

413
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Speaker 2: and then, take a moment and do a temperature check

414
00:24:59,320 --> 00:25:04,520
Speaker 2: within yourself, right of okay, and do this with all

415
00:25:04,560 --> 00:25:08,040
Speaker 2: of your friendships, right, do a temperature check and say, okay,

416
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Speaker 2: So with this person, I find that I'm texting them

417
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Speaker 2: all the time. They've become my go to person to text.

418
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Speaker 2: I want to go out and do ABC and D.

419
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Speaker 2: I'm calling the same person to do ABC and D.

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Speaker 2: And we're not dating, and this is not a romantic thing.

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Speaker 2: So I'm doing like you mentioned, I'm doing all the

422
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Speaker 2: things that I would do if I was dating someone

423
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Speaker 2: with this person. Oh wait, pause, let me hold on,

424
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Speaker 2: let me let me do a check. Is this someone

425
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Speaker 2: that maybe I am now romantically interested in and maybe

426
00:25:50,760 --> 00:25:54,680
Speaker 2: we need to have a conversation or was the friendship

427
00:25:54,800 --> 00:26:01,440
Speaker 2: so easy that we fell into this pattern that we

428
00:26:01,440 --> 00:26:04,360
Speaker 2: weren't aware of. And now, wait, hold on, we need

429
00:26:04,400 --> 00:26:08,239
Speaker 2: to pause and acknowledge that this is the pattern and

430
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Speaker 2: I need to diversify who I'm hanging out with.

431
00:26:12,520 --> 00:26:15,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's a really good one. Then check in like

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Speaker 1: are we on the same page? Because you don't want

433
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Speaker 1: to just drift. That's what I've learned too in this

434
00:26:19,080 --> 00:26:21,439
Speaker 1: dating world. It's like, don't just be going with the flow.

435
00:26:21,840 --> 00:26:23,480
Speaker 1: That's justn't for me. Because some people they like to

436
00:26:23,520 --> 00:26:25,080
Speaker 1: go with the flow, but I like to be able

437
00:26:25,119 --> 00:26:27,480
Speaker 1: to have an idea of like, what's happening here, because

438
00:26:27,520 --> 00:26:29,320
Speaker 1: that's how you kind of end up in situations and

439
00:26:29,359 --> 00:26:31,640
Speaker 1: then don't. The other thing is too like not every

440
00:26:31,680 --> 00:26:33,920
Speaker 1: connection needs to be pursued. Some are meant to teach

441
00:26:34,000 --> 00:26:38,800
Speaker 1: us things and not necessarily be our partners. Right, So

442
00:26:39,880 --> 00:26:42,280
Speaker 1: I think we should talk about how to avoid the

443
00:26:42,280 --> 00:26:45,240
Speaker 1: slippery slope and then dig into these tips to maintain

444
00:26:45,320 --> 00:26:47,520
Speaker 1: a healthy platonic friendship.

445
00:26:48,119 --> 00:26:51,440
Speaker 2: It's twenty twenty five, and we deserve a space where

446
00:26:51,480 --> 00:26:55,239
Speaker 2: we can show up just as we are, ready to

447
00:26:55,280 --> 00:26:59,359
Speaker 2: meet others just as they are. But does that space

448
00:26:59,400 --> 00:27:00,000
Speaker 2: even exist?

449
00:27:01,320 --> 00:27:04,760
Speaker 1: It sure does. I just created a Field account to

450
00:27:04,760 --> 00:27:07,480
Speaker 1: build my community dom and as a newly single woman

451
00:27:07,520 --> 00:27:10,439
Speaker 1: who's dating, I'm looking for great dating experiences, but I

452
00:27:10,480 --> 00:27:14,000
Speaker 1: also want to create deeper connections. Let's tell you about Field. Okay.

453
00:27:14,359 --> 00:27:16,280
Speaker 1: Field is not just a dating app. It's a space

454
00:27:16,320 --> 00:27:21,480
Speaker 1: where you can explore your desires, whether that's open relationships, olliamory, cuddling,

455
00:27:21,680 --> 00:27:24,280
Speaker 1: or just finding people who share your vibe. So think

456
00:27:24,440 --> 00:27:28,119
Speaker 1: brunch dates, wine tasting, or even a pottery class crew.

457
00:27:29,200 --> 00:27:32,800
Speaker 2: Ooh girl, okay, I think you might have had me

458
00:27:32,880 --> 00:27:37,160
Speaker 2: at brunch and wine tasting. But okay, wait, wait, wait wait,

459
00:27:38,480 --> 00:27:43,040
Speaker 2: how does Field make it different from the usual dating apps.

460
00:27:42,680 --> 00:27:46,240
Speaker 1: Like what's the Energy Girl? First of all, you don't

461
00:27:46,240 --> 00:27:48,639
Speaker 1: have to worry about that algorithm nonsense. You are in

462
00:27:48,680 --> 00:27:51,719
Speaker 1: full control of your experience and there's no pressure to swipe.

463
00:27:52,200 --> 00:27:54,200
Speaker 1: Oh you know what else, I love to You can

464
00:27:54,280 --> 00:27:56,960
Speaker 1: actually go back if you change your mind about someone,

465
00:27:57,200 --> 00:27:59,320
Speaker 1: and I know on some of these other apps, you

466
00:27:59,440 --> 00:28:01,800
Speaker 1: swipe and you're like, oh wait, I wanted to go.

467
00:28:01,880 --> 00:28:04,840
Speaker 1: I wanted to so yeah, you can go back. Plus,

468
00:28:04,840 --> 00:28:07,359
Speaker 1: they have this constellation feature that lets you link up

469
00:28:07,359 --> 00:28:10,119
Speaker 1: with your friends or partners, so it's really like meeting

470
00:28:10,160 --> 00:28:13,320
Speaker 1: people with your community already in mind. And also Dom

471
00:28:13,400 --> 00:28:15,600
Speaker 1: you're gonna love this part. Okay, come in close for this, y'all.

472
00:28:16,040 --> 00:28:19,879
Speaker 1: Transparency is key. This is a space where people are

473
00:28:19,960 --> 00:28:23,239
Speaker 1: upfront about their relationship styles and what they're looking for.

474
00:28:23,359 --> 00:28:25,600
Speaker 1: So no more guessing games, because y'all know how it

475
00:28:25,680 --> 00:28:28,000
Speaker 1: is where you're going at. You meet somebody who started

476
00:28:28,040 --> 00:28:30,520
Speaker 1: liking them and you find out they got fifty eleven

477
00:28:30,560 --> 00:28:34,520
Speaker 1: baby mama's and this relationship over here. Transparency is key

478
00:28:34,520 --> 00:28:35,280
Speaker 1: over here.

479
00:28:36,520 --> 00:28:43,120
Speaker 2: Listen, I like that. Okay, Transparency I love that. So

480
00:28:43,960 --> 00:28:48,480
Speaker 2: no weird swiping games, no worrying about being catfished. It's

481
00:28:48,520 --> 00:28:53,240
Speaker 2: a space where people actually like communicate using big people

482
00:28:53,280 --> 00:28:55,600
Speaker 2: words like this sounds refreshing.

483
00:28:56,320 --> 00:28:58,960
Speaker 1: Okay exactly. And you know what else I love too.

484
00:28:59,320 --> 00:29:02,240
Speaker 1: It's not just about dating. You can literally use Field

485
00:29:02,280 --> 00:29:07,040
Speaker 1: to find friendships, travel buddies, or even creative collaborators. And

486
00:29:07,200 --> 00:29:11,040
Speaker 1: the thing is too dom If your desires or identity evolve,

487
00:29:11,480 --> 00:29:13,479
Speaker 1: it's not a big deal. What I read is that

488
00:29:13,520 --> 00:29:16,440
Speaker 1: sixty two percent of members actually shift their interest in

489
00:29:16,440 --> 00:29:17,600
Speaker 1: their first year on the app.

490
00:29:18,800 --> 00:29:22,360
Speaker 2: What okay, lady, I mean you had me at brunch

491
00:29:22,400 --> 00:29:26,760
Speaker 2: and wine tasting, but I think now I'm convinced. So

492
00:29:27,480 --> 00:29:30,200
Speaker 2: I know if I'm convinced, other people want to know.

493
00:29:30,960 --> 00:29:32,800
Speaker 2: Where can they check this out?

494
00:29:33,040 --> 00:29:37,640
Speaker 1: I got y'all. Go download Field spelled fee l d

495
00:29:37,840 --> 00:29:41,280
Speaker 1: and it's pronounced like soccer field okay, on the App

496
00:29:41,280 --> 00:29:44,160
Speaker 1: Store or on Google Play. Get into it, and if

497
00:29:44,240 --> 00:29:46,600
Speaker 1: y'all see me on Field, stop by and say hello, Okay,

498
00:29:46,600 --> 00:29:49,040
Speaker 1: because I'm on there. I'm building our community.

499
00:29:49,640 --> 00:29:52,760
Speaker 2: All right, y'all, So go check out Field and let

500
00:29:52,840 --> 00:29:53,640
Speaker 2: us know what you think.

501
00:29:55,880 --> 00:29:57,360
Speaker 1: Now I want to passage to you for how to

502
00:29:57,400 --> 00:29:59,360
Speaker 1: avoid the slippery slope, because I feel like these were

503
00:30:00,160 --> 00:30:04,000
Speaker 1: the points that you really dug into. So let's get it.

504
00:30:04,040 --> 00:30:06,240
Speaker 2: Okay. So we talked about these already, but the one

505
00:30:06,280 --> 00:30:08,640
Speaker 2: that we haven't necessarily okay, there's a couple that we've

506
00:30:08,680 --> 00:30:11,320
Speaker 2: mentioned already, and then there's some that all right that

507
00:30:12,560 --> 00:30:17,400
Speaker 2: just just hold on, lady, hear us out and then

508
00:30:17,480 --> 00:30:24,720
Speaker 2: we can talk about it. So hugs, all right, we

509
00:30:24,800 --> 00:30:31,680
Speaker 2: all know that there's that church lady, half lean to

510
00:30:31,760 --> 00:30:36,200
Speaker 2: the side, had on the back, not quite like you know,

511
00:30:36,800 --> 00:30:41,480
Speaker 2: like I'm not giving you a full hug, right, and

512
00:30:41,520 --> 00:30:42,800
Speaker 2: then there's that full.

513
00:30:42,600 --> 00:30:46,120
Speaker 1: Hug body the body, body, the body.

514
00:30:46,640 --> 00:30:50,960
Speaker 2: Here's the way I look at it, the way I

515
00:30:51,160 --> 00:30:54,400
Speaker 2: try to operate with friends, no matter what their gender

516
00:30:54,440 --> 00:31:01,760
Speaker 2: identity is, we get equal treatment. So my my homegirls

517
00:31:02,840 --> 00:31:06,640
Speaker 2: get the same hug as my homeboys. I'm a hugger.

518
00:31:08,600 --> 00:31:14,520
Speaker 2: For me, a hug does not equate to physical intimacy

519
00:31:15,120 --> 00:31:21,840
Speaker 2: or romantic intimacy, or romantic or physical or sexual attraction.

520
00:31:22,240 --> 00:31:25,040
Speaker 2: Hugs don't that's not hugs. Ain't that that's not it

521
00:31:25,120 --> 00:31:31,280
Speaker 2: for me? Yes, the type of hug, that full frontal hug,

522
00:31:31,680 --> 00:31:33,479
Speaker 2: that deep grandma hug.

523
00:31:34,160 --> 00:31:35,880
Speaker 1: Oh, I will.

524
00:31:35,720 --> 00:31:38,360
Speaker 2: Give that to everybody with no problem.

525
00:31:38,800 --> 00:31:39,280
Speaker 1: Got you?

526
00:31:39,360 --> 00:31:45,640
Speaker 2: Okay, that's me personally. Yeah, not everybody is like that,

527
00:31:47,760 --> 00:31:52,600
Speaker 2: And so I think to avoid that slippery slope, you

528
00:31:53,000 --> 00:31:58,080
Speaker 2: have to identify within yourself what hugs mean to you.

529
00:31:59,160 --> 00:32:01,040
Speaker 1: That's a good one. I would agree with that. I

530
00:32:01,080 --> 00:32:03,880
Speaker 1: think you have to identify, really for all the conversations

531
00:32:03,920 --> 00:32:06,200
Speaker 1: that we're having, right like, identify what resonates with you.

532
00:32:06,480 --> 00:32:09,640
Speaker 1: And this next one right here, I mean, this might

533
00:32:09,760 --> 00:32:12,760
Speaker 1: be number one right here, because the flirty banter that

534
00:32:12,800 --> 00:32:17,760
Speaker 1: crosses the line. Now listen, y'all know exactly No, we

535
00:32:17,800 --> 00:32:20,960
Speaker 1: all have heard of this example or have experienced ourselves

536
00:32:21,640 --> 00:32:26,360
Speaker 1: people talking shit. Okay, don't start talking about Oh we

537
00:32:26,400 --> 00:32:28,520
Speaker 1: get you know how it is when you have that conversation,

538
00:32:28,600 --> 00:32:31,959
Speaker 1: you're like, yeah, because I I you say something and

539
00:32:32,000 --> 00:32:34,000
Speaker 1: it's like what you mean? Like let me see you

540
00:32:34,040 --> 00:32:35,240
Speaker 1: know what I mean? When you get to that conversation,

541
00:32:35,360 --> 00:32:37,040
Speaker 1: we're like, I know, I know you didn't say you

542
00:32:37,080 --> 00:32:39,360
Speaker 1: could just do this and do that, and then it

543
00:32:39,400 --> 00:32:41,800
Speaker 1: starts to be this like competitive flirty. I don't want

544
00:32:41,800 --> 00:32:43,160
Speaker 1: to get into too many details, but I think y'all

545
00:32:43,160 --> 00:32:46,240
Speaker 1: know what I'm talking about. That conversation on huh. So

546
00:32:46,360 --> 00:32:49,240
Speaker 1: that right there can be very slippery, especially if you're

547
00:32:49,240 --> 00:32:52,240
Speaker 1: trying to maintain the platonic friendship. Calling it out or

548
00:32:52,280 --> 00:32:53,920
Speaker 1: shutting it down is the best thing to do, because

549
00:32:53,920 --> 00:32:56,560
Speaker 1: you don't want to get in a situation where you

550
00:32:56,640 --> 00:32:59,800
Speaker 1: f around to find out, especially if it's supposed to

551
00:32:59,840 --> 00:33:06,480
Speaker 1: own literally andatively. Okay, oh yes, well.

552
00:33:06,360 --> 00:33:13,160
Speaker 2: No, wait before we move so that so that flirting banter,

553
00:33:14,120 --> 00:33:17,160
Speaker 2: I do think it is important to also know. Again,

554
00:33:17,240 --> 00:33:19,560
Speaker 2: I think for all of these it's about knowing yourself.

555
00:33:21,240 --> 00:33:29,680
Speaker 2: Because you may have friends that you talk shit with

556
00:33:31,360 --> 00:33:36,000
Speaker 2: that to someone else on the outside looking in, they

557
00:33:36,120 --> 00:33:40,440
Speaker 2: might look at that and perceive that as flirting. But

558
00:33:40,640 --> 00:33:45,120
Speaker 2: you and your friend know that that's not. Yeah, and

559
00:33:45,160 --> 00:33:50,400
Speaker 2: so I think it's important to be very clear with

560
00:33:50,520 --> 00:33:55,560
Speaker 2: the people that you were talking to what this really

561
00:33:55,600 --> 00:34:00,800
Speaker 2: looks like for you. Right, My friends know I will

562
00:34:00,840 --> 00:34:05,520
Speaker 2: talk shit and I will share details. And again, doesn't

563
00:34:05,560 --> 00:34:10,759
Speaker 2: matter your gender identity, I'm gonna talk shit, right and

564
00:34:11,160 --> 00:34:13,839
Speaker 2: that I think it's about knowing yourself and knowing that,

565
00:34:14,440 --> 00:34:19,360
Speaker 2: knowing that dynamic. Now, this one, this one ain't happening.

566
00:34:19,360 --> 00:34:22,520
Speaker 2: I'm sorry. This one is the number for me. This

567
00:34:22,560 --> 00:34:25,640
Speaker 2: one feels like the number one that will truly lead

568
00:34:25,719 --> 00:34:27,279
Speaker 2: to a slippery slope.

569
00:34:27,480 --> 00:34:30,239
Speaker 1: Mm hm. Oh, yeah, no, this is true. Mm hmm.

570
00:34:31,080 --> 00:34:36,360
Speaker 2: Cuddling. First of all, why are we cuddling? What scenario

571
00:34:37,600 --> 00:34:42,040
Speaker 2: is set up that? What scenario did you find yourself in?

572
00:34:42,160 --> 00:34:48,200
Speaker 2: You and your platonic friend that you were cuddling. Because

573
00:34:48,239 --> 00:34:52,120
Speaker 2: I'm trying, I'm trying to be open. But as I

574
00:34:52,239 --> 00:34:57,680
Speaker 2: think about my own personal friendship dynamics and I think

575
00:34:57,719 --> 00:35:04,680
Speaker 2: about other people's platonic friendship dynamics, nowhere in the history

576
00:35:04,680 --> 00:35:08,880
Speaker 2: of those friendships have I heard of people cuddling and

577
00:35:09,840 --> 00:35:11,280
Speaker 2: amongst the platonic friends.

578
00:35:12,000 --> 00:35:14,280
Speaker 1: As you say that, go ahead, but I'm.

579
00:35:14,120 --> 00:35:18,560
Speaker 2: Open to hearing. I'm open to hearing what other people's

580
00:35:18,600 --> 00:35:19,759
Speaker 2: experiences have been.

581
00:35:20,360 --> 00:35:20,640
Speaker 1: Yeah.

582
00:35:21,640 --> 00:35:25,319
Speaker 2: To me, that definitely feels like a slippery slope where

583
00:35:25,360 --> 00:35:29,200
Speaker 2: that could eat or that would easily lead to a

584
00:35:29,320 --> 00:35:32,279
Speaker 2: level of physical intimacy that then crosses the lines that

585
00:35:32,320 --> 00:35:35,080
Speaker 2: you won't necessarily trying to cross. Mm hmm.

586
00:35:35,840 --> 00:35:38,279
Speaker 1: I feel you. I think it goes back to where

587
00:35:38,280 --> 00:35:40,640
Speaker 1: you said no yourself. I know someone's listening, They're like, well,

588
00:35:40,680 --> 00:35:43,680
Speaker 1: don I cuddle with my platonic friends that we'd be cool.

589
00:35:44,400 --> 00:35:46,880
Speaker 1: It depends like I'm with you, I don't that's not

590
00:35:46,960 --> 00:35:49,040
Speaker 1: for me. If we're not doing nothing else, I'm not

591
00:35:49,040 --> 00:35:51,319
Speaker 1: trying to don't cuddle me. No, we're not doing that

592
00:35:51,400 --> 00:35:54,000
Speaker 1: because like what is it leading to? M M? So yeah,

593
00:35:54,000 --> 00:35:58,799
Speaker 1: that's not gonna happen. But to each his own, that's

594
00:35:58,840 --> 00:36:03,480
Speaker 1: all I'm gonna say. Now, boundaries, got to say the boundaries. Now, y'all,

595
00:36:03,480 --> 00:36:05,000
Speaker 1: we're going to dig into these tips to maintain a

596
00:36:05,080 --> 00:36:07,799
Speaker 1: healthy platonic friendship in like one second. The last thing

597
00:36:07,800 --> 00:36:10,879
Speaker 1: I think we already talked about late night conversations, right, yes,

598
00:36:11,080 --> 00:36:14,279
Speaker 1: like after ten? Okay, cool, yeah, we could skip that then, y'all.

599
00:36:14,320 --> 00:36:17,240
Speaker 1: So let's dig right into tips to maintain a healthy

600
00:36:17,280 --> 00:36:22,480
Speaker 1: platonic friendship. So number one, it's practice impulse control. Attraction

601
00:36:22,719 --> 00:36:26,239
Speaker 1: is normal, but it's not a directive. Okay. I have

602
00:36:26,320 --> 00:36:29,359
Speaker 1: plenty of friends. I love my gay male friends, and

603
00:36:29,400 --> 00:36:32,920
Speaker 1: they are fine. Okay, they are fine. I'm like, listen,

604
00:36:33,480 --> 00:36:38,680
Speaker 1: you lucky. You're lucky you not on his team because

605
00:36:38,680 --> 00:36:40,799
Speaker 1: they do look good. But like you said, like you

606
00:36:40,840 --> 00:36:44,040
Speaker 1: can feel something without acting on it. Als and ask yourself,

607
00:36:44,600 --> 00:36:47,680
Speaker 1: is this moment worth the risk? Right? Try to avoid

608
00:36:47,719 --> 00:36:49,719
Speaker 1: those moments of weakness. If you know how you get

609
00:36:49,840 --> 00:36:53,040
Speaker 1: when you off the henty. Don't be with your friend

610
00:36:53,160 --> 00:36:55,480
Speaker 1: one on one when you off the hinney. Okay, like

611
00:36:55,960 --> 00:36:57,600
Speaker 1: you wanted to be texting or trying to link up

612
00:36:57,640 --> 00:37:02,160
Speaker 1: when you're lonely or vulnerable, freshly heartbroken, especially if you

613
00:37:02,200 --> 00:37:04,440
Speaker 1: want to maintain the platonic friendship. Now, if you are

614
00:37:04,640 --> 00:37:06,800
Speaker 1: looking to build something else, this is not the conversation

615
00:37:06,920 --> 00:37:09,120
Speaker 1: that we're talking about today, So we have another episode

616
00:37:09,120 --> 00:37:12,680
Speaker 1: for that. The other thing is to train yourself to

617
00:37:12,840 --> 00:37:16,320
Speaker 1: ride out the urge. There are so many times where

618
00:37:17,440 --> 00:37:19,239
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna say, I've talked to I've talked to

619
00:37:19,320 --> 00:37:20,960
Speaker 1: some of my male friends where they've talked about how

620
00:37:21,000 --> 00:37:24,160
Speaker 1: they have masturbated before they've gone on a date so

621
00:37:24,160 --> 00:37:28,040
Speaker 1: that they can just be a listen, I'm listen. I've

622
00:37:28,080 --> 00:37:29,520
Speaker 1: done it a couple of times too, and it saved

623
00:37:29,560 --> 00:37:31,560
Speaker 1: me because it can just give you the clarity that

624
00:37:31,600 --> 00:37:34,120
Speaker 1: you might need, so you're not just thinking with the

625
00:37:34,160 --> 00:37:35,799
Speaker 1: other parts of your body that you may not want

626
00:37:35,800 --> 00:37:38,799
Speaker 1: to be thinking with. And then the last thing is

627
00:37:38,920 --> 00:37:44,400
Speaker 1: temptation is a wave, so don't drown it like yeah.

628
00:37:44,360 --> 00:37:49,560
Speaker 2: And be very clear too that, like like you mentioned,

629
00:37:50,040 --> 00:37:56,200
Speaker 2: attraction is normal but also being very clear on why

630
00:37:56,280 --> 00:38:02,360
Speaker 2: you're attracted so or are you attracted to this person,

631
00:38:03,239 --> 00:38:09,400
Speaker 2: this friend? Are you attracted to them because it's what's available.

632
00:38:10,520 --> 00:38:16,040
Speaker 2: Are you attracted to them because you are lonely? Like

633
00:38:16,320 --> 00:38:21,120
Speaker 2: identifying for yourself what is the reason that you're attracted

634
00:38:21,160 --> 00:38:24,640
Speaker 2: to them? That can also help you slow down that

635
00:38:24,800 --> 00:38:29,879
Speaker 2: impulse to act, to act on something that you might

636
00:38:29,960 --> 00:38:33,400
Speaker 2: regret later. Yeah, And I think the other piece with

637
00:38:33,480 --> 00:38:36,680
Speaker 2: the impulse control is to think about to like you said,

638
00:38:36,760 --> 00:38:44,880
Speaker 2: ride that temptation wave and if this keeps occurring, then

639
00:38:45,040 --> 00:38:47,799
Speaker 2: maybe you need to pause and have a different conversation

640
00:38:47,960 --> 00:38:52,799
Speaker 2: with yourself around what am I doing? What is this

641
00:38:52,920 --> 00:38:56,759
Speaker 2: dynamic that we have going on here? Is this another conversation,

642
00:38:56,840 --> 00:39:00,279
Speaker 2: a different conversation that we need to have versus is

643
00:39:02,520 --> 00:39:04,680
Speaker 2: was it this one moment where I felt this and

644
00:39:04,680 --> 00:39:06,719
Speaker 2: what was the context?

645
00:39:07,719 --> 00:39:10,719
Speaker 1: Yes, that's good, don We said we will revisit this.

646
00:39:10,719 --> 00:39:12,000
Speaker 1: I felt like this is a good place to talk

647
00:39:12,000 --> 00:39:14,200
Speaker 1: about it. But when it comes to impulse control, one

648
00:39:14,239 --> 00:39:16,359
Speaker 1: of the things, one of my greatest fears when it

649
00:39:16,360 --> 00:39:20,120
Speaker 1: comes to male friends in general, is crossing a boundary

650
00:39:20,160 --> 00:39:24,000
Speaker 1: for some fleeting moment and you have a valuable friendship

651
00:39:24,000 --> 00:39:25,920
Speaker 1: because my thing is when they get into a relationship

652
00:39:25,960 --> 00:39:28,520
Speaker 1: down the line, it's gonna be weird. They're one, They're

653
00:39:28,600 --> 00:39:30,440
Speaker 1: likely want to tell their partner like, hey, me and

654
00:39:30,480 --> 00:39:32,319
Speaker 1: this friend who we're friends, but we also did something

655
00:39:32,360 --> 00:39:35,120
Speaker 1: back in the day that makes things so weird when

656
00:39:35,120 --> 00:39:37,719
Speaker 1: they have a new partner in the future, and oftentimes

657
00:39:37,760 --> 00:39:40,680
Speaker 1: then it becomes they have to choose between you and

658
00:39:40,719 --> 00:39:42,719
Speaker 1: the other person. So I really like to if I

659
00:39:42,800 --> 00:39:44,880
Speaker 1: value a friendship and I don't want to cross that boundary,

660
00:39:44,920 --> 00:39:47,120
Speaker 1: I really try to communicate that because I would hate

661
00:39:47,120 --> 00:39:49,360
Speaker 1: for a situation to happen where now this person's in

662
00:39:49,360 --> 00:39:51,160
Speaker 1: a relationship, so we can't be friends anymore. And that

663
00:39:51,200 --> 00:39:52,520
Speaker 1: was my homie, you know what I mean. So I

664
00:39:52,560 --> 00:39:55,480
Speaker 1: think that impulse control is so important. I'm really thinking

665
00:39:55,520 --> 00:39:58,760
Speaker 1: with Don goss of y'all, thinking long term is ideally

666
00:39:58,760 --> 00:40:00,080
Speaker 1: where I like to do. What were you going to say?

667
00:40:00,560 --> 00:40:06,239
Speaker 2: I do think thinking long term is important. However, this

668
00:40:06,360 --> 00:40:09,680
Speaker 2: is also where that emotional maturity and open communication comes

669
00:40:09,719 --> 00:40:13,759
Speaker 2: into play, right because if I have a homie that

670
00:40:15,880 --> 00:40:20,080
Speaker 2: we were friends, we crossed the line, we decided that's

671
00:40:20,080 --> 00:40:22,600
Speaker 2: not for us, and we go back to being friends.

672
00:40:24,280 --> 00:40:26,080
Speaker 2: We're going to have a conversation and we're going to

673
00:40:26,160 --> 00:40:30,239
Speaker 2: be very clear about what those boundaries look like, what

674
00:40:30,360 --> 00:40:33,640
Speaker 2: our friendship looks like, and when either of us gets

675
00:40:33,680 --> 00:40:39,880
Speaker 2: into another a different romantic relationship, we're going to revisit

676
00:40:40,280 --> 00:40:43,720
Speaker 2: the conversation and talk about, like, what does this look

677
00:40:43,840 --> 00:40:48,799
Speaker 2: like now that one of us is in or one

678
00:40:49,000 --> 00:40:52,240
Speaker 2: or both of us that somebody's in a romantic relationship,

679
00:40:52,760 --> 00:40:54,960
Speaker 2: how are we navigating this friendship?

680
00:40:55,600 --> 00:40:55,880
Speaker 1: Yeah?

681
00:40:56,680 --> 00:41:01,160
Speaker 2: Right, what are some things that might need to change?

682
00:41:01,480 --> 00:41:06,799
Speaker 2: And for me, it's also about trust. If I'm in

683
00:41:06,840 --> 00:41:14,279
Speaker 2: a romantic relationship and I have a friend and we

684
00:41:14,480 --> 00:41:21,160
Speaker 2: were romantically linked previously, but we are friends, my partner

685
00:41:21,239 --> 00:41:25,920
Speaker 2: is going to know, yeah, and I am going to

686
00:41:25,960 --> 00:41:29,040
Speaker 2: be very clear that I am not doing anything that

687
00:41:29,120 --> 00:41:33,840
Speaker 2: might violate my partner's trust. Yeah, And so we're going

688
00:41:33,920 --> 00:41:37,600
Speaker 2: to communicate about what needs to happen, what that dynamic

689
00:41:37,680 --> 00:41:41,160
Speaker 2: looks like. Right. So, maybe my partner says, I would

690
00:41:41,200 --> 00:41:47,120
Speaker 2: prefer to always know when you're hanging out with this person. Cool.

691
00:41:49,080 --> 00:41:51,200
Speaker 2: And so I think that leads us to this second

692
00:41:51,239 --> 00:41:58,440
Speaker 2: piece about open communication. Yes, that it's about being honest

693
00:41:58,560 --> 00:42:03,480
Speaker 2: with yourself with them, about if there's a shift in

694
00:42:03,520 --> 00:42:11,160
Speaker 2: the vibe between you, right, and and constantly checking in

695
00:42:11,800 --> 00:42:15,040
Speaker 2: because you might have been you might have been friends

696
00:42:15,040 --> 00:42:23,439
Speaker 2: for years without any romantic nothing happening, right, and then

697
00:42:23,600 --> 00:42:27,080
Speaker 2: something shifts. You may need to revisit that.

698
00:42:28,600 --> 00:42:31,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's a good one, don I got a story

699
00:42:31,360 --> 00:42:33,920
Speaker 1: for you for the after show girl. Okay, so we're

700
00:42:33,920 --> 00:42:36,400
Speaker 1: going to dive into that soon. But number three here

701
00:42:37,320 --> 00:42:41,680
Speaker 1: is let's see what is number three? Set internal boundaries?

702
00:42:42,360 --> 00:42:45,160
Speaker 1: So know what makes you feel or what makes you

703
00:42:45,200 --> 00:42:47,759
Speaker 1: start to catch feelings? Right? Is it frequent texting? Is

704
00:42:47,760 --> 00:42:55,680
Speaker 1: it deep combos, flurty energy, then long body hugs? Okay, listen,

705
00:42:56,840 --> 00:42:59,800
Speaker 1: know yourself. Also check your intentions, right, are you texting

706
00:42:59,840 --> 00:43:03,160
Speaker 1: them more than are you texting them more than usual?

707
00:43:03,160 --> 00:43:06,359
Speaker 1: Because you're creating attention or emotional closeness, right. I think

708
00:43:06,400 --> 00:43:09,440
Speaker 1: also creating mental guardrails can be helpful. So asking yourself

709
00:43:10,120 --> 00:43:12,839
Speaker 1: what would I or would I do or say this

710
00:43:13,520 --> 00:43:16,480
Speaker 1: if they were my partner? Right, just to kind of

711
00:43:16,480 --> 00:43:18,520
Speaker 1: see like how am I? How am I showing up

712
00:43:18,520 --> 00:43:21,200
Speaker 1: with this person? And then also be real about your weaknesses,

713
00:43:21,200 --> 00:43:24,960
Speaker 1: which we talked about before. Denial is where the mess begins.

714
00:43:25,000 --> 00:43:27,480
Speaker 1: So like just being honest with yourself and where are you,

715
00:43:27,920 --> 00:43:29,839
Speaker 1: how do you feel, and where do you want things

716
00:43:29,840 --> 00:43:31,719
Speaker 1: to go? And being able to communicate the things that

717
00:43:31,760 --> 00:43:34,719
Speaker 1: feel that you feel comfortable communicating with them.

718
00:43:35,040 --> 00:43:39,880
Speaker 2: Yes, And I think also recognizing that to know to

719
00:43:40,040 --> 00:43:44,479
Speaker 2: do that internal boundary setting will require regular check ins

720
00:43:44,480 --> 00:43:50,719
Speaker 2: with yourself. Yeah, that something that you might not part

721
00:43:50,760 --> 00:43:53,480
Speaker 2: of being in relationship with others allows us to learn

722
00:43:53,520 --> 00:43:57,640
Speaker 2: about ourselves. And so there may be something that this

723
00:43:57,719 --> 00:44:02,759
Speaker 2: friend starts doing that you haven't experience before and you

724
00:44:03,080 --> 00:44:07,360
Speaker 2: like it, But does that mean that this is something

725
00:44:07,800 --> 00:44:11,200
Speaker 2: romantic or is this something that you need from friendships? Right? So,

726
00:44:11,920 --> 00:44:15,360
Speaker 2: constantly checking in to see how does it feel to

727
00:44:15,440 --> 00:44:18,239
Speaker 2: be around this person and what is the information that

728
00:44:18,280 --> 00:44:24,960
Speaker 2: you're learning about yourself through this interaction, and constantly using

729
00:44:25,040 --> 00:44:29,640
Speaker 2: those check ins to then reevaluate what your internal boundaries are.

730
00:44:30,680 --> 00:44:34,279
Speaker 2: So then that helps you once you kind of understand

731
00:44:34,360 --> 00:44:39,680
Speaker 2: those internal boundaries, that helps you to then communicate the

732
00:44:39,960 --> 00:44:48,040
Speaker 2: external boundaries. Right. So, if you know that talking with

733
00:44:48,120 --> 00:44:53,920
Speaker 2: this person after ten o'clock at night will lead you

734
00:44:54,000 --> 00:44:56,279
Speaker 2: to a space of feeling, you can't just send a

735
00:44:56,320 --> 00:45:01,279
Speaker 2: simple text after ten o'clock and it just be a

736
00:45:01,320 --> 00:45:05,799
Speaker 2: simple text. Talking to this person after ten o'clock makes

737
00:45:05,840 --> 00:45:10,520
Speaker 2: you start to feel romantic towards them. Okay, So then

738
00:45:10,560 --> 00:45:13,239
Speaker 2: that needs to be your boundary of we do not

739
00:45:13,440 --> 00:45:17,759
Speaker 2: text after ten o'clock at night. And maybe it's they

740
00:45:17,800 --> 00:45:19,560
Speaker 2: can text you, but you're not looking at it or

741
00:45:19,600 --> 00:45:23,759
Speaker 2: responding till the next day, all right. And so it's

742
00:45:23,760 --> 00:45:31,200
Speaker 2: about figuring out for yourself and then communicating what you need,

743
00:45:31,320 --> 00:45:33,680
Speaker 2: what your boundaries are going to be with that other person,

744
00:45:34,280 --> 00:45:40,600
Speaker 2: and being open to hear and respect what their boundaries are.

745
00:45:42,400 --> 00:45:46,440
Speaker 2: So maybe you know, I like to use a lot

746
00:45:46,440 --> 00:45:50,840
Speaker 2: of colorful language, and maybe I have a friend that

747
00:45:51,440 --> 00:45:57,560
Speaker 2: doesn't like colorful language, and so then when I communicate

748
00:45:57,600 --> 00:46:00,439
Speaker 2: with that person, I'm gonna be more mind I'm full

749
00:46:00,440 --> 00:46:03,759
Speaker 2: of not using colorful language. It's gonna slip because that's

750
00:46:03,800 --> 00:46:07,440
Speaker 2: who I am, like, that's that's how I engage. But

751
00:46:07,480 --> 00:46:12,600
Speaker 2: I'm gonna be more mindful of not using it as

752
00:46:12,800 --> 00:46:17,080
Speaker 2: often with this friend because that's a boundary for them.

753
00:46:17,560 --> 00:46:20,480
Speaker 1: All right. Now, that takes us to number five, which

754
00:46:20,560 --> 00:46:24,160
Speaker 1: is respect relationship status is kind of going back to

755
00:46:24,160 --> 00:46:26,279
Speaker 1: what we said before. Now, let me just tell y'all.

756
00:46:26,280 --> 00:46:30,239
Speaker 1: I had this homegirl and her and her husband. They

757
00:46:30,239 --> 00:46:32,520
Speaker 1: would go out to like lunch or dinner and one

758
00:46:32,560 --> 00:46:36,160
Speaker 1: of his homegirls would go with them, and she was

759
00:46:36,239 --> 00:46:38,960
Speaker 1: so flirty and she will always come out wear her

760
00:46:39,040 --> 00:46:42,520
Speaker 1: titties out, like she would have these these shirts would

761
00:46:42,520 --> 00:46:46,560
Speaker 1: low cleavage, what is it neckline and she would just

762
00:46:46,560 --> 00:46:48,279
Speaker 1: have her titties out. And my friend was told me like, yeah,

763
00:46:48,280 --> 00:46:50,080
Speaker 1: it was so obnoxious, like she just got the vibe

764
00:46:50,080 --> 00:46:53,120
Speaker 1: like she was really into the husband. And I thought

765
00:46:53,160 --> 00:46:56,839
Speaker 1: that was like super inappropriate. So respect relationships, right, So

766
00:46:56,920 --> 00:47:00,400
Speaker 1: being mindful of emotional cheating, right, you can ass a

767
00:47:00,400 --> 00:47:03,560
Speaker 1: line without touching anyone, that is a thing. And also

768
00:47:04,440 --> 00:47:08,680
Speaker 1: being aware that the dynamic may shift when your best

769
00:47:08,719 --> 00:47:11,040
Speaker 1: friend or your male friend gets into a relationship because

770
00:47:11,080 --> 00:47:13,080
Speaker 1: of the dynamic that he has with his partner, right,

771
00:47:13,360 --> 00:47:15,600
Speaker 1: So just being aware of that and like again talking

772
00:47:15,640 --> 00:47:18,480
Speaker 1: about it so you know where you all stand, and

773
00:47:18,520 --> 00:47:21,200
Speaker 1: then try not to become the go to person for

774
00:47:21,239 --> 00:47:23,400
Speaker 1: problems in their relationship because that's where things can get

775
00:47:23,440 --> 00:47:26,560
Speaker 1: a little tricky as well. Oh that's that's tricky, Like

776
00:47:26,560 --> 00:47:28,440
Speaker 1: I get it, it's your friend, but it's also like

777
00:47:28,440 --> 00:47:30,879
Speaker 1: you want to come that's the thing. That's the thing.

778
00:47:30,920 --> 00:47:32,480
Speaker 1: This is just like a random thing to put out

779
00:47:32,480 --> 00:47:33,840
Speaker 1: there but you think about if it's going to be

780
00:47:33,880 --> 00:47:35,799
Speaker 1: suitable for you, because if it's your friend, you want

781
00:47:35,800 --> 00:47:37,880
Speaker 1: to be able to vent to them about things. But

782
00:47:37,920 --> 00:47:40,319
Speaker 1: then it's like, if you're inventing about the relationship, could

783
00:47:40,400 --> 00:47:42,799
Speaker 1: that put you in interesting territory? I don't know what

784
00:47:42,840 --> 00:47:44,040
Speaker 1: were you going to say down, because it's like you

785
00:47:44,120 --> 00:47:45,399
Speaker 1: had something you.

786
00:47:45,320 --> 00:47:48,759
Speaker 2: Know, I was going to say that for me that

787
00:47:50,360 --> 00:47:52,520
Speaker 2: I want to be clear that a lot of these dynamics,

788
00:47:52,600 --> 00:47:56,000
Speaker 2: a lot of these tips that we're giving should should

789
00:47:56,040 --> 00:48:00,560
Speaker 2: be across gender line, sexual orientation lines, on matter who

790
00:48:00,640 --> 00:48:06,600
Speaker 2: your friends are, right that I'm gonna be respectful of

791
00:48:06,640 --> 00:48:11,040
Speaker 2: my friends' relationships no matter what, no matter who they are,

792
00:48:13,320 --> 00:48:18,520
Speaker 2: that I am going to be clear with my friends

793
00:48:19,160 --> 00:48:21,720
Speaker 2: that you know, I'm gonna check in with folks like, okay,

794
00:48:21,760 --> 00:48:25,480
Speaker 2: so are you are you a late night text or

795
00:48:25,480 --> 00:48:28,239
Speaker 2: are you an early morning text? Or does it matter? Right?

796
00:48:30,160 --> 00:48:32,960
Speaker 2: Does it bother your partner? Like I have friends that

797
00:48:34,000 --> 00:48:36,520
Speaker 2: they're dating, and you know, like if they are, they

798
00:48:36,560 --> 00:48:39,719
Speaker 2: don't live with their partners, and so if they are

799
00:48:40,000 --> 00:48:43,439
Speaker 2: with their partner for the night, then they're like, I'm

800
00:48:43,440 --> 00:48:47,880
Speaker 2: not responding to text messages. Don't text me, don't whatever, Okay, cool,

801
00:48:48,360 --> 00:48:51,399
Speaker 2: I'm gonna respect that. And they're like, on the nights

802
00:48:51,400 --> 00:48:54,279
Speaker 2: that I'm not with them, we can we can talk

803
00:48:54,320 --> 00:48:59,200
Speaker 2: all night, okay, and so but it's about that communication.

804
00:49:01,360 --> 00:49:06,000
Speaker 2: And yeah, I can't streuss enough. I think it really

805
00:49:06,040 --> 00:49:09,960
Speaker 2: is about the communication, Yeah, for sure. And I do

806
00:49:10,080 --> 00:49:14,359
Speaker 2: think that when you start to have emotional intimacy with

807
00:49:14,440 --> 00:49:19,800
Speaker 2: someone outside of your partner, that again, it doesn't matter

808
00:49:20,160 --> 00:49:24,040
Speaker 2: if it doesn't matter the identity of the other person.

809
00:49:24,640 --> 00:49:27,879
Speaker 2: If you are forming emotional intimacy that you don't have

810
00:49:28,000 --> 00:49:33,560
Speaker 2: in your romantic relationship, that can breed problems. And I

811
00:49:33,600 --> 00:49:36,880
Speaker 2: think it's important to be aware of that and to

812
00:49:36,960 --> 00:49:39,439
Speaker 2: have a conversation. I think in regards to the piece

813
00:49:39,480 --> 00:49:46,400
Speaker 2: around venting about your relationship to friends of the opposite sex, Yeah,

814
00:49:46,560 --> 00:49:49,160
Speaker 2: it's about what are those friendship dynamics from the beginning.

815
00:49:49,680 --> 00:49:54,399
Speaker 1: Yes, that is spot on, right, Like, if.

816
00:49:54,320 --> 00:50:00,840
Speaker 2: That is the dynamic of the friendship, yeah, then that's

817
00:50:00,920 --> 00:50:03,080
Speaker 2: not going to change when you get in a relationship.

818
00:50:04,480 --> 00:50:06,719
Speaker 2: There may be some things that you're going to say,

819
00:50:06,719 --> 00:50:08,480
Speaker 2: you know, this is going to be a little bit

820
00:50:08,480 --> 00:50:11,520
Speaker 2: more private because I am married to this person or

821
00:50:11,560 --> 00:50:15,879
Speaker 2: I'm in a committed relationship. We're moved beyond dating mm hmm.

822
00:50:17,640 --> 00:50:21,919
Speaker 2: But I think that it's healthy for people to have

823
00:50:22,120 --> 00:50:26,960
Speaker 2: friends that they can process their relationship issues with. I

824
00:50:26,960 --> 00:50:30,960
Speaker 2: think that the problem comes in when the only thing

825
00:50:31,040 --> 00:50:34,600
Speaker 2: you talk about with your friends are the problems in

826
00:50:34,640 --> 00:50:37,040
Speaker 2: the relationship mm hmm.

827
00:50:37,120 --> 00:50:39,239
Speaker 1: Or the other person's not clear only you know they

828
00:50:39,360 --> 00:50:40,640
Speaker 1: trying to sneak in there, you know.

829
00:50:41,320 --> 00:50:44,080
Speaker 2: Yes, And so this again, this is where communication and

830
00:50:44,120 --> 00:50:47,640
Speaker 2: being honest with yourselves and each other is important for sure.

831
00:50:48,640 --> 00:50:50,719
Speaker 2: And so then I think that leads us to the

832
00:50:50,760 --> 00:50:58,440
Speaker 2: next tip of mutual understanding on what the friendship terms are. Right, So,

833
00:51:00,120 --> 00:51:08,400
Speaker 2: are we truly friends platonically or is this a friendship

834
00:51:08,480 --> 00:51:12,160
Speaker 2: that we're hoping will evolve into something more? Because we

835
00:51:12,280 --> 00:51:17,840
Speaker 2: know that ideally the relationships romantic relationships that last the

836
00:51:17,880 --> 00:51:22,840
Speaker 2: longest have a solid foundation, and typically that solid foundation

837
00:51:24,760 --> 00:51:28,640
Speaker 2: started off as friends. Now, going back to that statistic

838
00:51:28,840 --> 00:51:36,719
Speaker 2: from earlier of sixty two percent of friendships turn sexual,

839
00:51:38,520 --> 00:51:44,800
Speaker 2: we see how it can happen. However, you can decide

840
00:51:45,840 --> 00:51:49,440
Speaker 2: that this person we are friends with the intention of

841
00:51:49,480 --> 00:51:55,480
Speaker 2: it moving to romance, or it's we are platonic friends,

842
00:51:55,719 --> 00:51:57,279
Speaker 2: you to homie.

843
00:51:57,600 --> 00:51:57,920
Speaker 1: That's it.

844
00:51:58,160 --> 00:51:58,560
Speaker 2: That's it.

845
00:51:58,840 --> 00:52:03,359
Speaker 1: That's it. That's all this, so I love it. That's

846
00:52:03,400 --> 00:52:07,200
Speaker 1: really good. And then the last one, lady is check yourself,

847
00:52:07,400 --> 00:52:10,280
Speaker 1: check yourself, check your heart. Okay, be brutally honest with yourself.

848
00:52:10,320 --> 00:52:15,799
Speaker 1: Are you secretly hoping that one day, one day y'all

849
00:52:15,800 --> 00:52:20,040
Speaker 1: will have something going on? Okay? Also stop using the

850
00:52:20,080 --> 00:52:23,280
Speaker 1: friendship to fill a romantic void. Sometimes we find ourselves

851
00:52:23,280 --> 00:52:25,160
Speaker 1: in positions where we're like, Okay, I'm gonna, like we

852
00:52:25,200 --> 00:52:27,239
Speaker 1: said before, use this person as a placeholder because I

853
00:52:27,280 --> 00:52:29,000
Speaker 1: don't want to get out there on date or I

854
00:52:29,000 --> 00:52:30,880
Speaker 1: don't think that I'm gonna have a positive experience. Right,

855
00:52:30,920 --> 00:52:32,680
Speaker 1: It's not fair to do that to you or them,

856
00:52:33,080 --> 00:52:35,920
Speaker 1: So being mindful of that, also noticing your patterns. You

857
00:52:36,080 --> 00:52:39,040
Speaker 1: always end up catching feelings for guy friends. If that's

858
00:52:39,080 --> 00:52:41,480
Speaker 1: the case, you might want to explore that, right, see

859
00:52:41,480 --> 00:52:43,680
Speaker 1: if there's something else behind that. And then I always

860
00:52:43,680 --> 00:52:45,440
Speaker 1: say the last thing here when it comes to checking

861
00:52:45,480 --> 00:52:49,680
Speaker 1: in with yourself is if things are shifting, take space.

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00:52:50,360 --> 00:52:54,520
Speaker 1: Protecting their friendship sometimes sometimes means pressing pause, taking a

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00:52:54,520 --> 00:52:57,040
Speaker 1: step back, giving me both space to figure things out

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00:52:57,080 --> 00:52:58,480
Speaker 1: and just to clear your head and be able to

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00:52:58,520 --> 00:53:01,799
Speaker 1: have the literal space it's and also mental bandwidth to

866
00:53:01,800 --> 00:53:04,520
Speaker 1: really understand, like what's happening, how are my feelings? When

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00:53:04,520 --> 00:53:06,359
Speaker 1: you give yourself that space, you can see what comes

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00:53:06,440 --> 00:53:08,239
Speaker 1: up naturally in your mind that you can figure out

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00:53:08,239 --> 00:53:09,960
Speaker 1: your path forward from there.

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00:53:11,680 --> 00:53:15,840
Speaker 2: Yes, I agree with that. Constantly it's important to constantly

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00:53:15,880 --> 00:53:19,720
Speaker 2: check in with yourself, and maybe you need to talk

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00:53:19,760 --> 00:53:25,960
Speaker 2: to a therapist, a cold a mentor to get a

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00:53:26,040 --> 00:53:29,839
Speaker 2: sense of Yeah, are there some things that you're observing?

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00:53:30,640 --> 00:53:33,480
Speaker 2: Are that they're observing in you that maybe you haven't

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00:53:33,520 --> 00:53:36,160
Speaker 2: noticed that part?

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00:53:36,640 --> 00:53:38,560
Speaker 1: All right, lady, we're going to do a quick recap

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00:53:39,280 --> 00:53:41,279
Speaker 1: and then we'll close on out and we'll catch on

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00:53:41,320 --> 00:53:43,480
Speaker 1: the after show for some juicy stuff. Okay, So number one,

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00:53:43,480 --> 00:53:47,040
Speaker 1: when it comes to tips to maintaining a healthy platonic friendship,

880
00:53:47,080 --> 00:53:51,279
Speaker 1: you have impulse control. Number one. Number two is open communication.

881
00:53:51,719 --> 00:53:57,040
Speaker 1: Number three is internal boundary setting, Number four clear external boundaries,

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00:53:57,400 --> 00:54:02,360
Speaker 1: Number five respecting relationship statuses, number six mutual agreement on

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00:54:02,400 --> 00:54:05,839
Speaker 1: the friendship terms, and number seven. Check yourself and we'll

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00:54:05,880 --> 00:54:07,640
Speaker 1: make sure to add these in the show notes. You

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00:54:07,680 --> 00:54:08,840
Speaker 1: can see them as well. Lady.

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00:54:10,320 --> 00:54:13,160
Speaker 3: Hey, lady, it's doctor Dom here from the Cultivating her

887
00:54:13,200 --> 00:54:17,200
Speaker 3: Space podcast. Are you currently a resident of the state

888
00:54:17,239 --> 00:54:22,680
Speaker 3: of California and contemplating starting your therapy journey well. If so,

889
00:54:23,440 --> 00:54:27,680
Speaker 3: please reach out to me at doctor Dominique Brusard dot com.

890
00:54:28,160 --> 00:54:33,000
Speaker 3: That's d R D O M I N I q

891
00:54:33,320 --> 00:54:38,720
Speaker 3: U E b R O U ss ar D dot

892
00:54:38,760 --> 00:54:43,680
Speaker 3: com to schedule a free fifteen minute consultation. I look

893
00:54:43,719 --> 00:54:48,680
Speaker 3: forward to hearing from you. Thanks for tuning into Cultivating

894
00:54:48,719 --> 00:54:54,319
Speaker 3: her Space. Remember that while this podcast is all about healing, empowerment,

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00:54:54,400 --> 00:54:59,040
Speaker 3: and resilience, it's not a substitute for therapy. If you

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00:54:59,239 --> 00:55:03,640
Speaker 3: are someone you need support, check out resources like Therapy

897
00:55:03,640 --> 00:55:08,400
Speaker 3: for Black Girls or Psychology Today. If you love today's episode,

898
00:55:08,680 --> 00:55:10,720
Speaker 3: do us a favor and share it with a friend

899
00:55:10,719 --> 00:55:14,719
Speaker 3: who needs some inspiration, or leave us a quick five

900
00:55:14,760 --> 00:55:18,319
Speaker 3: star review. Your support means the world to us and

901
00:55:18,440 --> 00:55:20,240
Speaker 3: helps keep this space thriving.

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00:55:20,760 --> 00:55:25,640
Speaker 1: And before we meet again, repeat after me. My actions

903
00:55:25,719 --> 00:55:33,400
Speaker 1: are aligned with purpose leading to continuous transformation. Keep thriving, lady,

904
00:55:33,560 --> 00:55:37,600
Speaker 1: and tune in next Friday for more inspiration from Cultivating

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00:55:37,600 --> 00:55:40,640
Speaker 1: her Space. In the meantime, be sure to connect with

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00:55:40,719 --> 00:55:43,719
Speaker 1: us on Instagram at her Space Podcast