1 00:00:00,200 --> 00:00:16,560 Speaker 1: Hi, everyone, It's Sophia. Welcome to Work in Progress. Hello whipsmarties, friends, 2 00:00:16,960 --> 00:00:22,520 Speaker 1: dear ones. I am beside myself. One of my favorite 3 00:00:22,600 --> 00:00:26,439 Speaker 1: human beings in the world is on the podcast today 4 00:00:26,880 --> 00:00:34,760 Speaker 1: to talk about life, love, personal evolution, becoming, curiosity, motherhood, martinis, 5 00:00:35,040 --> 00:00:39,880 Speaker 1: what reality TV she watches, and what the next phase 6 00:00:39,920 --> 00:00:44,040 Speaker 1: of life looks like. Today we are joined by my 7 00:00:44,360 --> 00:00:51,000 Speaker 1: forever floatis Michelle Obama. That's such an insane thing to 8 00:00:51,000 --> 00:00:54,520 Speaker 1: be saying. You know her as the forty fourth first 9 00:00:54,680 --> 00:00:58,240 Speaker 1: Lady of the United States of America. She is an 10 00:00:58,280 --> 00:01:03,760 Speaker 1: incredible advocate for women and girls education, democracy. She was 11 00:01:03,880 --> 00:01:06,959 Speaker 1: raised on the South side of Chicago, graduated from Princeton 12 00:01:07,080 --> 00:01:10,680 Speaker 1: University and Harvard Law School. Is married to none other 13 00:01:10,760 --> 00:01:15,200 Speaker 1: than our favorite President, Barack Obama, and is basically the 14 00:01:15,240 --> 00:01:18,600 Speaker 1: coolest mom any of us. Notes from her nonprofit work, 15 00:01:18,680 --> 00:01:22,200 Speaker 1: her advocacy for girls around the world, her work to 16 00:01:22,319 --> 00:01:27,960 Speaker 1: eradicate poverty. Her nonprofit and philanthropic work is something to behold. 17 00:01:28,000 --> 00:01:32,720 Speaker 1: Whether she has advocated for poverty awareness, encouraged and helped 18 00:01:32,880 --> 00:01:37,320 Speaker 1: to change the rules around girls' education, advocated for better 19 00:01:37,400 --> 00:01:41,360 Speaker 1: nutrition policies and physical activity and healthy eating in our country, 20 00:01:41,920 --> 00:01:44,640 Speaker 1: She has written three books, including her New York Times 21 00:01:44,640 --> 00:01:48,640 Speaker 1: best selling memoir Becoming and The Light We Carry, and 22 00:01:48,880 --> 00:01:52,360 Speaker 1: as if that weren't enough, runs an incredible production company 23 00:01:52,360 --> 00:01:56,240 Speaker 1: at Netflix, making some of our favorite TV shows, including 24 00:01:56,240 --> 00:01:59,760 Speaker 1: one of mine, The Later Daters, and Now when all 25 00:01:59,760 --> 00:02:03,520 Speaker 1: her free time, she is starting a podcast with her brother, 26 00:02:04,080 --> 00:02:09,520 Speaker 1: Imo In My Opinion is a gathering of Michelle Obama 27 00:02:09,520 --> 00:02:12,760 Speaker 1: and her big brother, Craig Robinson, as they bring their 28 00:02:12,960 --> 00:02:17,600 Speaker 1: unique experiences and candid perspectives to a range of listeners' 29 00:02:17,639 --> 00:02:22,000 Speaker 1: personal dilemmas, from the everyday to the existential, and every 30 00:02:22,040 --> 00:02:25,200 Speaker 1: week when they're answering your questions. They're also joined by 31 00:02:25,280 --> 00:02:31,200 Speaker 1: special guests to tackle practical advice, relatable anecdotes, and plenty 32 00:02:31,280 --> 00:02:36,280 Speaker 1: of laughs, from dating to relationships, parenting, and financial planning. 33 00:02:36,360 --> 00:02:41,040 Speaker 1: Imo sees our iconic First Lady at her most relaxed 34 00:02:41,440 --> 00:02:44,440 Speaker 1: and honest, and take it from me, this podcast will 35 00:02:44,480 --> 00:02:48,960 Speaker 1: leave you laughing, reflecting, and feeling more prepared to tackle 36 00:02:49,240 --> 00:02:53,239 Speaker 1: life's challenges. I can't wait to talk to her about 37 00:02:53,240 --> 00:02:56,280 Speaker 1: what inspired her to do this, why she's still giving 38 00:02:56,360 --> 00:03:00,840 Speaker 1: us so much of her incredible time, and what her 39 00:03:00,919 --> 00:03:03,799 Speaker 1: dreams are for what comes next. Let's dig in with 40 00:03:03,840 --> 00:03:19,360 Speaker 1: Michelle Obama. Hello, I am so just absolutely thrilled to 41 00:03:19,400 --> 00:03:21,080 Speaker 1: see you today, Sophia. 42 00:03:21,320 --> 00:03:24,280 Speaker 2: I'm beyond thrilled to be with you. Haven't seen you 43 00:03:24,440 --> 00:03:26,760 Speaker 2: in person in a while, but I've been watching you 44 00:03:26,919 --> 00:03:29,760 Speaker 2: and I'm so proud of the work that you're doing 45 00:03:29,840 --> 00:03:33,280 Speaker 2: out there in the world, and I'm just delighted to 46 00:03:33,280 --> 00:03:35,000 Speaker 2: be able to sit down and chat with. 47 00:03:34,880 --> 00:03:39,040 Speaker 1: You likewise, and that means the world and I will 48 00:03:39,040 --> 00:03:42,600 Speaker 1: always give people their flowers. A lot of people ask 49 00:03:43,080 --> 00:03:46,400 Speaker 1: me at this stage, you know, it's crazy to think 50 00:03:46,440 --> 00:03:50,360 Speaker 1: I signed up for my first presidential with you and 51 00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:53,280 Speaker 1: President Obama almost twenty years ago, and people will say, well, 52 00:03:53,280 --> 00:03:55,520 Speaker 1: where'd you get so into activism? Why do you care 53 00:03:55,560 --> 00:03:58,120 Speaker 1: so much about politics? And I'm like, I had the 54 00:03:58,160 --> 00:03:59,280 Speaker 1: best mentors in the game. 55 00:03:59,320 --> 00:04:03,120 Speaker 2: What are you talking about? But You're but but you know, 56 00:04:03,400 --> 00:04:07,880 Speaker 2: as we see now, not everybody you know feels the 57 00:04:08,360 --> 00:04:11,880 Speaker 2: compelled to to get involved in the at the level 58 00:04:11,880 --> 00:04:15,480 Speaker 2: that you did. And that's not just because of us 59 00:04:15,600 --> 00:04:19,000 Speaker 2: the campaign. That that's because of who you are. That 60 00:04:19,120 --> 00:04:23,720 Speaker 2: you are putting your ideas, your thoughts, your passions, your 61 00:04:23,720 --> 00:04:27,680 Speaker 2: disappointments into action, which is what we say that that's 62 00:04:27,680 --> 00:04:30,800 Speaker 2: what makes a democracy. You can't sit on the sidelines, 63 00:04:31,320 --> 00:04:34,200 Speaker 2: even if you don't if you're not thrilled with every 64 00:04:34,320 --> 00:04:38,400 Speaker 2: choice you have on the ballot, and you you walk 65 00:04:38,480 --> 00:04:41,000 Speaker 2: the walk, always, always have. 66 00:04:41,800 --> 00:04:44,680 Speaker 1: Oh my goodness, I can't tell you how much it 67 00:04:44,720 --> 00:04:47,040 Speaker 1: means to me to hear that from you. I I 68 00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:50,440 Speaker 1: was planning on beginning with a question not having to 69 00:04:50,440 --> 00:04:53,720 Speaker 1: do with politics, but it's impossible not to ask you 70 00:04:53,760 --> 00:04:56,240 Speaker 1: about a little bit, and I kind of feel like, 71 00:04:56,320 --> 00:04:57,640 Speaker 1: let me ask you now. We'll get it out of 72 00:04:57,680 --> 00:05:01,320 Speaker 1: the way and then we can just hang. When you 73 00:05:01,480 --> 00:05:07,679 Speaker 1: talk about what a democracy means to you, it really 74 00:05:07,760 --> 00:05:11,000 Speaker 1: is soothing, not just for the years, but for the soul. 75 00:05:11,040 --> 00:05:15,520 Speaker 1: It's such a reminder that we can both advance a 76 00:05:15,640 --> 00:05:21,760 Speaker 1: nation because we care. That it requires telling the truth 77 00:05:22,040 --> 00:05:25,200 Speaker 1: and that it might not always be pretty, but if 78 00:05:25,240 --> 00:05:28,520 Speaker 1: we do the whole thing, you know, if we encompass 79 00:05:28,720 --> 00:05:33,160 Speaker 1: all of what it takes, it will be beautiful. And 80 00:05:34,560 --> 00:05:37,480 Speaker 1: you are a voice of reason for both the truth 81 00:05:37,560 --> 00:05:41,960 Speaker 1: and the beauty. And so many people seem scared to 82 00:05:42,040 --> 00:05:45,200 Speaker 1: talk about what's true, seems scared to acknowledge that our 83 00:05:45,240 --> 00:05:50,760 Speaker 1: diversity makes us better, seems scared to fight, they're disheartened, 84 00:05:50,760 --> 00:05:52,839 Speaker 1: and they're looking for hope. And the last thing I 85 00:05:52,880 --> 00:05:55,720 Speaker 1: want to do is ask another powerful black woman why 86 00:05:55,760 --> 00:05:57,880 Speaker 1: the rest of the world should be hopeful because you're 87 00:05:57,920 --> 00:06:02,320 Speaker 1: like we told you, but you are such an icon 88 00:06:02,360 --> 00:06:04,480 Speaker 1: to so many of us, and in this moment, is 89 00:06:05,360 --> 00:06:08,480 Speaker 1: there something you say, not necessarily as one of the 90 00:06:08,680 --> 00:06:11,039 Speaker 1: you know, former leaders of the free world, but just 91 00:06:11,080 --> 00:06:13,760 Speaker 1: as as a mom and a friend that you want 92 00:06:13,760 --> 00:06:16,200 Speaker 1: to say to the people you care about when they 93 00:06:16,200 --> 00:06:16,840 Speaker 1: feel afraid. 94 00:06:18,080 --> 00:06:21,440 Speaker 2: You know, I just want to remind people, first of all, 95 00:06:22,560 --> 00:06:27,920 Speaker 2: fear is real, and it's rational, rational, and it's it's reasonable. Look, 96 00:06:28,560 --> 00:06:31,400 Speaker 2: too many people in this country, I don't care what 97 00:06:31,640 --> 00:06:37,440 Speaker 2: their race, their political party, they're struggling these it's it's 98 00:06:37,480 --> 00:06:41,159 Speaker 2: it's hard to get ahead in this world these days. 99 00:06:42,240 --> 00:06:46,400 Speaker 2: Too much, too many people have too much, you know, 100 00:06:46,760 --> 00:06:49,840 Speaker 2: too few people have too much. Too many people don't 101 00:06:49,920 --> 00:06:53,680 Speaker 2: have enough. And that is the basis of a lot 102 00:06:53,720 --> 00:06:56,560 Speaker 2: of fear. You know, when when people can't, you know, 103 00:06:57,320 --> 00:07:02,120 Speaker 2: they can't build a life that is reasonable with all 104 00:07:02,160 --> 00:07:04,960 Speaker 2: the hard work that they put in. People are struggling 105 00:07:05,080 --> 00:07:08,960 Speaker 2: to get ahead. They are working too many jobs and 106 00:07:09,120 --> 00:07:14,160 Speaker 2: still not able to get ahead. And that that just 107 00:07:14,320 --> 00:07:19,120 Speaker 2: predisposes people to be afraid. So I think first we 108 00:07:19,240 --> 00:07:22,760 Speaker 2: have to acknowledge that we do need to create some 109 00:07:22,880 --> 00:07:27,960 Speaker 2: balance economically, that if we don't find a way to 110 00:07:28,160 --> 00:07:32,160 Speaker 2: really invest in the middle class, all of it right 111 00:07:32,640 --> 00:07:35,840 Speaker 2: as we did when my parents were growing up. 112 00:07:35,840 --> 00:07:36,200 Speaker 1: I mean, my. 113 00:07:36,640 --> 00:07:39,520 Speaker 2: Father was a blue collar worker. He worked for the city. 114 00:07:39,760 --> 00:07:44,080 Speaker 2: And let me stop there about how important city government 115 00:07:44,160 --> 00:07:48,160 Speaker 2: workers are, federal government workers. Those are the jobs, those 116 00:07:48,160 --> 00:07:51,880 Speaker 2: are the roles in our society that built America in 117 00:07:51,960 --> 00:07:55,760 Speaker 2: so many ways. And on that single salary, my father 118 00:07:56,240 --> 00:07:59,280 Speaker 2: could pay his bills, my mother could stay at home. 119 00:07:59,720 --> 00:08:03,480 Speaker 2: He put two of us through college, and he had 120 00:08:03,520 --> 00:08:07,240 Speaker 2: a little bit of savings and a pension. Right, that 121 00:08:07,360 --> 00:08:13,120 Speaker 2: reality doesn't exist for enough people anymore. And when you 122 00:08:13,240 --> 00:08:16,400 Speaker 2: don't have that, you are afraid, and you do look 123 00:08:16,480 --> 00:08:20,320 Speaker 2: around for someone to blame. And that's where leadership comes in, 124 00:08:20,440 --> 00:08:23,840 Speaker 2: because leadership can either lead buy fear. They can either 125 00:08:23,920 --> 00:08:27,240 Speaker 2: fuel that fear and explain it away by saying, be 126 00:08:27,320 --> 00:08:30,520 Speaker 2: afraid of other people, people who aren't like you, somebody 127 00:08:30,560 --> 00:08:33,400 Speaker 2: else is to blame for this, Or you have leaders 128 00:08:33,400 --> 00:08:37,240 Speaker 2: who leave lead with hope and remind us that we 129 00:08:38,120 --> 00:08:41,920 Speaker 2: swim and sink together, and that we have to do 130 00:08:42,000 --> 00:08:45,640 Speaker 2: our part to make sure that our neighbors have enough 131 00:08:46,360 --> 00:08:48,440 Speaker 2: so that they feel like they have a stake in 132 00:08:48,440 --> 00:08:53,520 Speaker 2: this democracy. That's why I think hope is important, you know, 133 00:08:53,800 --> 00:08:57,640 Speaker 2: because it does control how we feel, and we cannot 134 00:08:57,720 --> 00:09:05,360 Speaker 2: underestimate the role that negative, negative language does to our 135 00:09:05,400 --> 00:09:09,720 Speaker 2: psyche and it makes us tired, and it makes us 136 00:09:09,760 --> 00:09:12,480 Speaker 2: want to give up, and it taps into the worst 137 00:09:12,559 --> 00:09:16,240 Speaker 2: of us. So I always say we owe it to 138 00:09:16,320 --> 00:09:19,520 Speaker 2: the next generation to stay hopeful. We have to watch 139 00:09:19,600 --> 00:09:23,600 Speaker 2: our language. We may say what we how we feel 140 00:09:23,640 --> 00:09:26,640 Speaker 2: in the privacy of our own homes, but those of 141 00:09:26,760 --> 00:09:31,160 Speaker 2: us with public platforms, I think we have a responsibility 142 00:09:31,600 --> 00:09:37,080 Speaker 2: to keep moving us towards the light and encouraging everyone 143 00:09:37,120 --> 00:09:42,760 Speaker 2: to stay educated, focused and engaged in this democracy. So, 144 00:09:42,880 --> 00:09:46,920 Speaker 2: I mean, you know, there's no easy way to talk 145 00:09:46,960 --> 00:09:49,640 Speaker 2: about it, but I think we first have to acknowledge 146 00:09:49,640 --> 00:09:52,200 Speaker 2: that a lot of people don't feel like they have 147 00:09:52,280 --> 00:09:56,120 Speaker 2: a fair shake in this country, and when they don't, 148 00:09:56,240 --> 00:10:01,480 Speaker 2: they're easy pickings, you know, And it's easy for us 149 00:10:01,520 --> 00:10:04,960 Speaker 2: to turn on one another when so many of us 150 00:10:05,000 --> 00:10:05,800 Speaker 2: are struggling. 151 00:10:06,160 --> 00:10:09,520 Speaker 1: Do you think that part of that is because the 152 00:10:10,080 --> 00:10:14,200 Speaker 1: power that we're up against is so hard to kind 153 00:10:14,200 --> 00:10:17,520 Speaker 1: of quantify for the average person, And I say that 154 00:10:17,960 --> 00:10:22,280 Speaker 1: including myself. You know the idea that in the last 155 00:10:22,320 --> 00:10:26,440 Speaker 1: Trump presidency, twenty five percent of the entire United States 156 00:10:26,559 --> 00:10:31,000 Speaker 1: debt was created because we'd rather give a trillion dollar 157 00:10:31,200 --> 00:10:35,640 Speaker 1: tax cut to like sixty billionaires instead of just tax 158 00:10:35,679 --> 00:10:38,400 Speaker 1: folks that allowed for the system that your dad and 159 00:10:38,480 --> 00:10:42,040 Speaker 1: mom could flourish. And when you were a kid, it's 160 00:10:42,120 --> 00:10:46,880 Speaker 1: so hard to fathom that what those numbers mean that 161 00:10:46,960 --> 00:10:48,880 Speaker 1: it can be easier to think, well, there must be 162 00:10:48,920 --> 00:10:50,600 Speaker 1: waste in the government, and why do we have so 163 00:10:50,679 --> 00:10:54,560 Speaker 1: many federal employees. And now now that the federal employees 164 00:10:54,559 --> 00:10:56,880 Speaker 1: are getting cut and the cancer research is getting cut 165 00:10:56,880 --> 00:10:58,840 Speaker 1: and all these people are getting fired, they're like, wait. 166 00:10:58,679 --> 00:10:59,680 Speaker 2: Wait, wait, Yeah. 167 00:10:59,840 --> 00:11:03,160 Speaker 1: It almost seems to me like the reality that I 168 00:11:03,200 --> 00:11:07,600 Speaker 1: think the leadership that you and your husband displayed, the 169 00:11:07,679 --> 00:11:10,880 Speaker 1: leadership that so many of our great elders in the 170 00:11:10,880 --> 00:11:14,319 Speaker 1: progressive parties have displayed that have tried to teach us 171 00:11:14,440 --> 00:11:17,480 Speaker 1: that this doesn't work unless we acknowledge that it's a 172 00:11:17,559 --> 00:11:22,480 Speaker 1: community project. It feels like the need for communities finally 173 00:11:22,559 --> 00:11:23,280 Speaker 1: hitting people. 174 00:11:24,080 --> 00:11:28,960 Speaker 2: Yeah, I hope so I hope that we understand, as 175 00:11:29,040 --> 00:11:32,520 Speaker 2: I said before, that we all sink or swim together. 176 00:11:35,360 --> 00:11:38,560 Speaker 2: Is it's disappointing that we have to go through the 177 00:11:38,640 --> 00:11:42,160 Speaker 2: fire in this way, but sometimes, you know, I mean, 178 00:11:43,440 --> 00:11:47,200 Speaker 2: these issues are complicated, and we also have to remember 179 00:11:47,280 --> 00:11:51,480 Speaker 2: we're dealing in different times now where people are very distracted, 180 00:11:52,040 --> 00:11:59,320 Speaker 2: they're on their phones, they are tiktoking and thirty character writing, 181 00:11:59,480 --> 00:12:03,959 Speaker 2: and know, we're dealing with communication that is totally new, 182 00:12:04,480 --> 00:12:08,760 Speaker 2: and it's very hard to describe and explain very complicated 183 00:12:08,840 --> 00:12:15,880 Speaker 2: issues in thirty two characters or less, right, And so 184 00:12:16,080 --> 00:12:21,360 Speaker 2: I think it's difficult because people want their information in 185 00:12:21,440 --> 00:12:24,880 Speaker 2: sound bites. You know, we also have social media that 186 00:12:24,960 --> 00:12:30,160 Speaker 2: feeds people what they want, not necessarily the truth or 187 00:12:30,160 --> 00:12:32,959 Speaker 2: what they need to hear. So again, not only are 188 00:12:32,960 --> 00:12:38,520 Speaker 2: people struggling, but they're being confused. We don't have one 189 00:12:38,679 --> 00:12:42,600 Speaker 2: clear source for truth. We don't have one clear source 190 00:12:42,679 --> 00:12:45,160 Speaker 2: where we all sit around and gather the same kind 191 00:12:45,160 --> 00:12:48,040 Speaker 2: of news and we hear the same kind of facts, right, 192 00:12:48,960 --> 00:12:53,720 Speaker 2: And we've never experienced that in any time in our 193 00:12:53,880 --> 00:12:57,600 Speaker 2: history as a nation. Because this technology that we're dealing with, 194 00:12:57,720 --> 00:13:01,880 Speaker 2: we haven't quite figured it out yet. And just remember Sophia. 195 00:13:01,960 --> 00:13:07,400 Speaker 2: When we entered the White House, we came in using blackberries. Right. 196 00:13:08,640 --> 00:13:12,320 Speaker 2: There was no such thing as social media, right, we 197 00:13:12,320 --> 00:13:14,920 Speaker 2: were learning about it. I mean there was meet Up 198 00:13:15,160 --> 00:13:18,240 Speaker 2: if you remember that, that was a big organizing tool 199 00:13:18,440 --> 00:13:21,760 Speaker 2: of the Obama campaign. There was no Zoom, there was 200 00:13:21,800 --> 00:13:25,720 Speaker 2: no Insta, there was no you know, my kids. I 201 00:13:25,840 --> 00:13:31,200 Speaker 2: was barely learning how to parent them with these new tools. Right. 202 00:13:31,760 --> 00:13:35,839 Speaker 2: So we're also dealing with a new kind of information 203 00:13:36,440 --> 00:13:41,680 Speaker 2: challenge and we haven't figured it out. I don't think 204 00:13:41,720 --> 00:13:45,680 Speaker 2: either party has figured it out. Politically, I think people 205 00:13:45,720 --> 00:13:48,320 Speaker 2: don't know who to trust. We don't get the same 206 00:13:48,400 --> 00:13:51,960 Speaker 2: kinds of information, and therefore it is very hard to 207 00:13:52,160 --> 00:13:55,880 Speaker 2: then explain what tariffs are, and you know, what the 208 00:13:55,960 --> 00:13:59,240 Speaker 2: deficit is, and what certain spending cuts is and are, 209 00:13:59,480 --> 00:14:04,320 Speaker 2: and what how the federal government actually does serve you. You know, 210 00:14:04,400 --> 00:14:07,559 Speaker 2: there there are books out there, but people aren't reading books. 211 00:14:07,640 --> 00:14:10,840 Speaker 2: You know. The Fifth Risk that talks about the role 212 00:14:10,920 --> 00:14:14,160 Speaker 2: that the government plays and how much we depend on 213 00:14:14,240 --> 00:14:18,560 Speaker 2: it for our weather and FEMA and you know, and 214 00:14:18,640 --> 00:14:21,120 Speaker 2: I could go on and on and on, but you 215 00:14:21,160 --> 00:14:24,640 Speaker 2: know the government doesn't have a pr campaign, right, right, 216 00:14:24,960 --> 00:14:28,360 Speaker 2: I mean they don't have the resources of the technology 217 00:14:28,400 --> 00:14:32,720 Speaker 2: technology giants to promote what government does. So it's very 218 00:14:32,720 --> 00:14:35,280 Speaker 2: easy for people to say, yeah, this is the problem. 219 00:14:35,440 --> 00:14:39,840 Speaker 2: You know, it exploded. What does the VA actually do? 220 00:14:40,360 --> 00:14:43,240 Speaker 2: You know, Well, let's just WoT. Yeah, of the VIA 221 00:14:43,280 --> 00:14:46,240 Speaker 2: does a lot. But if you're not getting that fit 222 00:14:46,320 --> 00:14:50,400 Speaker 2: to you twenty four to seven, then the average American 223 00:14:50,480 --> 00:14:52,760 Speaker 2: probably fully doesn't understand it. 224 00:14:52,840 --> 00:14:54,920 Speaker 1: We'll be back in just a minute, but here's a 225 00:14:54,960 --> 00:15:01,880 Speaker 1: word from our sponsors speaking of social media. So a 226 00:15:01,880 --> 00:15:05,680 Speaker 1: great meme this week that was like talking about how 227 00:15:06,040 --> 00:15:09,160 Speaker 1: this sort of economic disaster that's done on purpose can 228 00:15:09,200 --> 00:15:11,840 Speaker 1: only happen every hundred years because everybody who made it 229 00:15:11,880 --> 00:15:13,400 Speaker 1: happen the last time has to be dead. 230 00:15:13,680 --> 00:15:17,960 Speaker 2: Ye try to happen again. I saw, and I was like, that's. 231 00:15:17,880 --> 00:15:21,000 Speaker 1: Part of it, because we lose sight of how it 232 00:15:21,120 --> 00:15:25,960 Speaker 1: actually works. But something that feels important to say, including 233 00:15:26,120 --> 00:15:28,080 Speaker 1: the book that you just referenced, which we will put 234 00:15:28,120 --> 00:15:30,520 Speaker 1: in our show notes, because we do say the audience 235 00:15:30,560 --> 00:15:33,000 Speaker 1: of this this podcast is whip smart. They like to 236 00:15:33,080 --> 00:15:39,560 Speaker 1: learn things. Black women show up for democracy in record numbers, 237 00:15:39,920 --> 00:15:42,320 Speaker 1: and we would be remiss not to say that as 238 00:15:42,960 --> 00:15:46,280 Speaker 1: confusing as these silos can be, as toxic as these 239 00:15:46,320 --> 00:15:52,120 Speaker 1: algorithms are, as much as this is an information kind 240 00:15:52,160 --> 00:15:56,440 Speaker 1: of warfare. Now with social media, you still see black 241 00:15:56,480 --> 00:15:59,720 Speaker 1: women show up at ninety two percent rates and vote 242 00:15:59,760 --> 00:16:03,760 Speaker 1: for progress. And so what I would like to suggest 243 00:16:04,160 --> 00:16:08,120 Speaker 1: to the folks listening to this show is not only 244 00:16:08,240 --> 00:16:13,720 Speaker 1: to follow our esteemed guest, but to tailor your algorithm. 245 00:16:14,320 --> 00:16:19,480 Speaker 1: Follow women like Brittany Pacnett Cunningham, follow social justice leaders 246 00:16:19,480 --> 00:16:25,320 Speaker 1: in your communities. Tailor your algorithm to begin to expose 247 00:16:25,400 --> 00:16:28,880 Speaker 1: you to the people who stand up for what America 248 00:16:29,000 --> 00:16:32,440 Speaker 1: is supposed to be at her best, because you can 249 00:16:32,600 --> 00:16:35,960 Speaker 1: change your algorithm. And that would be my first tip 250 00:16:36,000 --> 00:16:37,360 Speaker 1: for the folks at home to do that. 251 00:16:37,840 --> 00:16:41,120 Speaker 2: And I want to add that we need to get 252 00:16:41,120 --> 00:16:44,400 Speaker 2: off our phones too and make sure that our real 253 00:16:44,520 --> 00:16:50,080 Speaker 2: lives are filled with diverse voices and experiences. We cannot 254 00:16:50,120 --> 00:16:53,920 Speaker 2: rely on somebody else telling us who our neighbors are. 255 00:16:54,440 --> 00:16:59,520 Speaker 2: It is our responsibility to step outside of our comfort 256 00:16:59,600 --> 00:17:04,280 Speaker 2: zone and meet some people who think differently, who look differently. 257 00:17:04,640 --> 00:17:06,960 Speaker 2: You know, I always say this if you're sitting around 258 00:17:07,040 --> 00:17:10,320 Speaker 2: a table, or if you're at a table of leadership 259 00:17:10,359 --> 00:17:13,840 Speaker 2: and everybody looks like you, and everybody agrees with you 260 00:17:14,280 --> 00:17:17,160 Speaker 2: something is wrong. That is at the core of why 261 00:17:17,200 --> 00:17:20,760 Speaker 2: diversity is important, because we get to meet each other 262 00:17:20,880 --> 00:17:26,800 Speaker 2: and share ideas and have real intellectual conversations. This is 263 00:17:26,840 --> 00:17:29,520 Speaker 2: why your podcast is important. It's one of the reasons 264 00:17:29,560 --> 00:17:35,880 Speaker 2: why I'm starting IMO. I mean IMO in my opinion 265 00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:38,399 Speaker 2: are My new podcast with my brother is not a 266 00:17:38,400 --> 00:17:44,280 Speaker 2: political podcast, because I think right now people shut their 267 00:17:44,880 --> 00:17:48,639 Speaker 2: ears off to politics. But we do need to be 268 00:17:48,960 --> 00:17:52,720 Speaker 2: in real conversations with each other, you know. We have 269 00:17:52,840 --> 00:17:57,160 Speaker 2: to be having these kind of serious conversations but having 270 00:17:57,200 --> 00:18:01,120 Speaker 2: some fun and learning how we think and and engaging 271 00:18:01,359 --> 00:18:04,480 Speaker 2: face to face with people. So I want your listeners 272 00:18:04,480 --> 00:18:07,800 Speaker 2: to say that there is no substitute for really knowing 273 00:18:07,840 --> 00:18:11,320 Speaker 2: your neighbor, for having a conversation with the person on 274 00:18:11,359 --> 00:18:14,280 Speaker 2: the train next to you, putting down your phone while 275 00:18:14,280 --> 00:18:18,399 Speaker 2: you're standing in line at the checkout counter, maybe looking 276 00:18:18,440 --> 00:18:21,800 Speaker 2: over at the doctor's office and saying hi to the 277 00:18:21,840 --> 00:18:25,440 Speaker 2: person sitting next to you, especially if they don't look 278 00:18:25,520 --> 00:18:31,679 Speaker 2: like you. We have to be mindful, vigilant and purposeful 279 00:18:32,119 --> 00:18:36,919 Speaker 2: about creating diversity in our lives because social technology is 280 00:18:37,000 --> 00:18:38,760 Speaker 2: pushing us in the opposite direction. 281 00:18:39,480 --> 00:18:42,879 Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, I love that you mentioned the podcast 282 00:18:42,920 --> 00:18:45,560 Speaker 1: because this is exactly where I wanted to go. As 283 00:18:45,600 --> 00:18:48,080 Speaker 1: you know, sitting in your home studio in front of 284 00:18:48,119 --> 00:18:50,480 Speaker 1: a micro is tracking the time, and I'm like, we've 285 00:18:50,480 --> 00:18:53,520 Speaker 1: already spent twenty minutes on democracy, and I want to 286 00:18:53,520 --> 00:18:54,560 Speaker 1: ask the questions. 287 00:18:54,280 --> 00:18:55,520 Speaker 2: Because I'd be remiss not too. 288 00:18:55,720 --> 00:18:57,560 Speaker 1: I really just want to hang out with you and 289 00:18:57,720 --> 00:19:00,719 Speaker 1: like have a kiky And this that's what made me 290 00:19:00,760 --> 00:19:03,720 Speaker 1: so excited when I read the announcement and I saw 291 00:19:03,760 --> 00:19:07,800 Speaker 1: what you and your brother are doing, because you are 292 00:19:07,840 --> 00:19:11,080 Speaker 1: just gathering people for a little bit of a of 293 00:19:11,119 --> 00:19:15,520 Speaker 1: a respite and a laugh and maybe some learning. And 294 00:19:15,600 --> 00:19:19,399 Speaker 1: to be clear, like, you don't owe us more. You 295 00:19:19,480 --> 00:19:23,399 Speaker 1: don't need to do this podcast. So why didn't you 296 00:19:23,440 --> 00:19:25,640 Speaker 1: decide that this was the thing you wanted to do, 297 00:19:25,720 --> 00:19:27,400 Speaker 1: this was the way you wanted to do it. 298 00:19:27,600 --> 00:19:30,120 Speaker 2: What is what? The honest answer is, I don't know 299 00:19:30,280 --> 00:19:36,640 Speaker 2: what was right. But the truth is, I, you know, 300 00:19:37,280 --> 00:19:44,280 Speaker 2: I feel like I I want to offer something in 301 00:19:44,320 --> 00:19:47,720 Speaker 2: these times. I you know why, I don't owe anybody 302 00:19:47,760 --> 00:19:51,280 Speaker 2: anything When you have the opportunity to have a platform 303 00:19:51,520 --> 00:19:56,760 Speaker 2: and to share stories and to you know, engage. For 304 00:19:56,840 --> 00:19:59,960 Speaker 2: me personally, it's a little selfish because I love people. 305 00:20:00,880 --> 00:20:04,399 Speaker 2: I love engaging with the American public, you know, I 306 00:20:04,440 --> 00:20:07,959 Speaker 2: really I am curious about what they are struggling with 307 00:20:08,160 --> 00:20:11,960 Speaker 2: and how they're talking about things, and if I would 308 00:20:11,960 --> 00:20:14,080 Speaker 2: be the kind of person who would be talking to 309 00:20:14,119 --> 00:20:17,439 Speaker 2: you on the grocery line, if I was allowed to 310 00:20:17,480 --> 00:20:20,119 Speaker 2: go into a grocery store like a normal person without 311 00:20:20,160 --> 00:20:24,840 Speaker 2: secret service, right. I mean, my life is as it 312 00:20:24,960 --> 00:20:29,159 Speaker 2: stands now, is not the usual life I'm used to living. 313 00:20:29,640 --> 00:20:32,720 Speaker 2: I'm not connecting with people in the way that I 314 00:20:33,000 --> 00:20:38,560 Speaker 2: like to, you know, So the podcast vehicle allows for that. 315 00:20:38,880 --> 00:20:42,560 Speaker 2: It allows me with my brother outside of my husband, 316 00:20:42,800 --> 00:20:46,080 Speaker 2: the person that I love most, who knows me best. 317 00:20:46,320 --> 00:20:48,560 Speaker 2: So it's also kind of a cool thing for me 318 00:20:48,640 --> 00:20:50,960 Speaker 2: to be working on a project with my big brother. 319 00:20:51,080 --> 00:20:55,040 Speaker 2: We have never worked together in a way. We've never 320 00:20:55,160 --> 00:21:02,199 Speaker 2: done any work project together. So I just like the 321 00:21:02,280 --> 00:21:05,639 Speaker 2: fact that once a week I get to be in 322 00:21:05,760 --> 00:21:09,480 Speaker 2: conversation with our listeners. I get to hear what's going 323 00:21:09,520 --> 00:21:12,800 Speaker 2: on in their lives. We get to pull in some friends, 324 00:21:12,800 --> 00:21:16,399 Speaker 2: some celebrities, some experts. I get to learn, continue to 325 00:21:17,119 --> 00:21:21,040 Speaker 2: learn and grow, and we're not talking about you know, 326 00:21:21,119 --> 00:21:25,240 Speaker 2: I don't have to be right about everything because we're 327 00:21:25,720 --> 00:21:28,560 Speaker 2: you know, I'm not coming in as the expert. It's 328 00:21:28,680 --> 00:21:32,480 Speaker 2: just our opinion, you know, and we all have them, 329 00:21:32,680 --> 00:21:37,360 Speaker 2: and so I think it's a really fun and exciting 330 00:21:37,400 --> 00:21:40,560 Speaker 2: way for me to continue to stay engaged with the 331 00:21:40,600 --> 00:21:44,359 Speaker 2: American people and the people who have come to know 332 00:21:44,720 --> 00:21:49,200 Speaker 2: and trust and look for me. I don't want anyone 333 00:21:49,240 --> 00:21:52,800 Speaker 2: to feel like, while I'm never going to go into politics, 334 00:21:53,880 --> 00:21:57,159 Speaker 2: I care about what happens in this country, and I 335 00:21:57,240 --> 00:22:01,000 Speaker 2: care about how people are managing through it. And if 336 00:22:01,600 --> 00:22:03,960 Speaker 2: I can offer a little bit of light once a 337 00:22:04,000 --> 00:22:07,359 Speaker 2: week to somebody, you know, why not. 338 00:22:08,000 --> 00:22:10,040 Speaker 1: Yeah, So a little bit of joy. 339 00:22:10,640 --> 00:22:12,520 Speaker 2: I hope it's a little bit of joy and a 340 00:22:12,520 --> 00:22:15,280 Speaker 2: little bit of support as well. 341 00:22:15,600 --> 00:22:17,960 Speaker 1: And now a word from our sponsors that I really 342 00:22:18,040 --> 00:22:26,080 Speaker 1: enjoy and I think you will too. I love hearing 343 00:22:26,119 --> 00:22:28,920 Speaker 1: you talk about the why, because every once in a 344 00:22:28,920 --> 00:22:32,080 Speaker 1: while someone will ask me why I do this, and 345 00:22:32,760 --> 00:22:35,560 Speaker 1: I'll lean he in, go Kamere. You realize I made 346 00:22:35,560 --> 00:22:39,520 Speaker 1: it my job to ask really cool people a bunch 347 00:22:39,600 --> 00:22:42,560 Speaker 1: of questions and hanging out for an hour. It's like 348 00:22:43,000 --> 00:22:47,040 Speaker 1: it feels like I won the career lottery. You talking 349 00:22:47,080 --> 00:22:50,159 Speaker 1: about your relationship with Craig is a segue into what 350 00:22:50,280 --> 00:22:52,880 Speaker 1: is normally my first question for people, but I feel 351 00:22:52,920 --> 00:22:55,240 Speaker 1: like people really do know a lot about your life. 352 00:22:55,840 --> 00:22:58,040 Speaker 1: I usually like to sit down with people and ask 353 00:22:58,080 --> 00:23:02,320 Speaker 1: them that if from this this moment, you could like 354 00:23:02,560 --> 00:23:06,800 Speaker 1: bend space time go back and meet your nine year 355 00:23:06,840 --> 00:23:12,440 Speaker 1: old self, would you see yourself in her? Would you go, oh, 356 00:23:12,520 --> 00:23:16,080 Speaker 1: I see how I became this? And I'm really curious 357 00:23:16,080 --> 00:23:18,040 Speaker 1: about what you think it would be like to sit 358 00:23:18,119 --> 00:23:22,399 Speaker 1: down at nine with you and your brother. Would you 359 00:23:22,480 --> 00:23:24,600 Speaker 1: go like, oh, yeah, it makes sense that these two 360 00:23:24,600 --> 00:23:27,199 Speaker 1: are doing this funny, quirky job together. 361 00:23:27,560 --> 00:23:31,080 Speaker 2: You know, that's a great question, and I'm thinking about 362 00:23:31,080 --> 00:23:35,760 Speaker 2: it as you ask it, and I think there are 363 00:23:35,800 --> 00:23:38,840 Speaker 2: parts of it that are like, yes, you know, there 364 00:23:38,840 --> 00:23:41,760 Speaker 2: are parts of my nine year old self, you know, 365 00:23:42,520 --> 00:23:47,560 Speaker 2: my kind of overly confident, bossy kind of self at nine, 366 00:23:48,000 --> 00:23:50,280 Speaker 2: the person who you know, could get my brother to 367 00:23:50,320 --> 00:23:54,000 Speaker 2: do anything for me. You know. My mother always said, 368 00:23:54,200 --> 00:23:56,640 Speaker 2: you know, I stopped raising you when you were ten 369 00:23:56,760 --> 00:23:58,840 Speaker 2: because you seem to know what you were doing, right. 370 00:23:58,920 --> 00:24:01,680 Speaker 2: I mean, she she would say that, But I'm like, Mom, 371 00:24:02,080 --> 00:24:04,040 Speaker 2: you know, half of the stuff I do is you 372 00:24:04,160 --> 00:24:07,280 Speaker 2: in my head. So you were there. But I think 373 00:24:07,320 --> 00:24:10,240 Speaker 2: that was her way of saying that I was kind 374 00:24:10,240 --> 00:24:15,120 Speaker 2: of beyond my years, you know, and kind of independent 375 00:24:15,240 --> 00:24:18,600 Speaker 2: in a way. But on the flip side, I'd also say, 376 00:24:18,760 --> 00:24:21,880 Speaker 2: as a little girl growing up working class black girl 377 00:24:21,920 --> 00:24:25,760 Speaker 2: on the South Side of Chicago, there's absolutely no way 378 00:24:25,840 --> 00:24:29,280 Speaker 2: I could have imagined the life that I have now 379 00:24:29,960 --> 00:24:34,960 Speaker 2: that wasn't a life that was routinely available to kids 380 00:24:35,160 --> 00:24:38,240 Speaker 2: that came from where I came from, you know. So 381 00:24:38,320 --> 00:24:40,800 Speaker 2: the notion that me and my brother would you know, 382 00:24:41,640 --> 00:24:46,200 Speaker 2: capture audiences and that are back and forth banter, and 383 00:24:46,480 --> 00:24:50,000 Speaker 2: the lessons that we learned under the roof of Marion 384 00:24:50,160 --> 00:24:54,879 Speaker 2: and Fraser Robinson would be would provide a base of 385 00:24:54,920 --> 00:25:00,359 Speaker 2: wisdom for other people. Nah, I wouldn't have imagined in that. 386 00:25:00,480 --> 00:25:04,280 Speaker 2: And I think that's also part of why I, you 387 00:25:04,280 --> 00:25:07,040 Speaker 2: know now that I think about why I'm doing this, 388 00:25:07,720 --> 00:25:12,520 Speaker 2: because at nine and at nine, at twenty, at thirty, 389 00:25:12,560 --> 00:25:18,320 Speaker 2: at fifty, because I am a woman period, I didn't 390 00:25:18,359 --> 00:25:26,240 Speaker 2: own my wisdom until now, right. I mean, as women were, 391 00:25:26,640 --> 00:25:32,239 Speaker 2: we so question what we know. You know, we we're like, well, 392 00:25:32,280 --> 00:25:34,360 Speaker 2: maybe I don't know what I'm talking about, So let 393 00:25:34,359 --> 00:25:36,560 Speaker 2: me not raise my hand in class, and let me 394 00:25:36,600 --> 00:25:40,960 Speaker 2: not you know, while our counterparts as early as twenty 395 00:25:41,000 --> 00:25:42,639 Speaker 2: are like, I know the answer, I know how to 396 00:25:42,680 --> 00:25:46,160 Speaker 2: fix this, I know what I'm doing. I've noticed that women, 397 00:25:46,520 --> 00:25:50,080 Speaker 2: we don't own our wisdom until we have tested and 398 00:25:50,280 --> 00:25:54,240 Speaker 2: proven and gone through the fire and won a bunch 399 00:25:55,160 --> 00:25:58,639 Speaker 2: that we can say I kind of think I know 400 00:25:58,800 --> 00:26:02,399 Speaker 2: something now. I think I have I think I've gotten 401 00:26:02,520 --> 00:26:05,240 Speaker 2: enough things right in this world that maybe, now it's 402 00:26:05,280 --> 00:26:11,520 Speaker 2: sixty one, I have confidence that the lessons I've learned, 403 00:26:11,560 --> 00:26:16,000 Speaker 2: the trials and tribulations that I've gone through, actually have 404 00:26:16,160 --> 00:26:18,280 Speaker 2: given me some insight. Yes. 405 00:26:19,119 --> 00:26:23,480 Speaker 1: And then if you own your wisdom, someone will say, wow, well, 406 00:26:23,520 --> 00:26:24,800 Speaker 1: don't you think you've had enough? 407 00:26:24,840 --> 00:26:25,040 Speaker 2: Now? 408 00:26:25,040 --> 00:26:30,160 Speaker 1: You need to celebrate it too, no matter what, you're 409 00:26:30,160 --> 00:26:35,959 Speaker 1: going to get criticized. And I love that you're willing 410 00:26:36,040 --> 00:26:42,520 Speaker 1: to share that and name that is from this moment 411 00:26:42,720 --> 00:26:45,280 Speaker 1: at sixty one saying, oh, I get to own this. 412 00:26:45,840 --> 00:26:49,840 Speaker 1: I think I have some valuable lessons to share. Are 413 00:26:49,880 --> 00:26:54,600 Speaker 1: there is there a big Robinson House lesson that you 414 00:26:54,800 --> 00:26:58,639 Speaker 1: see now as such wisdom that you didn't see them? 415 00:26:58,840 --> 00:27:05,320 Speaker 2: There's so many Robinson House lessons. I will say that 416 00:27:05,560 --> 00:27:12,359 Speaker 2: looking back now, my parents were beyond their years, you know, 417 00:27:12,480 --> 00:27:15,600 Speaker 2: just beyond their experiences. I mean they did not They 418 00:27:15,600 --> 00:27:19,879 Speaker 2: were not college educated, but my parents majored in common sense. 419 00:27:20,320 --> 00:27:23,879 Speaker 2: They had PIA, both of them had PhDs, and just 420 00:27:23,920 --> 00:27:29,000 Speaker 2: some common sense ways of thinking about life. And one 421 00:27:29,040 --> 00:27:32,359 Speaker 2: of them was I share this all the time. My 422 00:27:32,960 --> 00:27:37,000 Speaker 2: mother's view to child rearing was and I shared this 423 00:27:37,119 --> 00:27:39,920 Speaker 2: in the light. She was like, I'm not raising babies, 424 00:27:40,040 --> 00:27:44,919 Speaker 2: I'm raising adults. Yes, And so she said she thinks 425 00:27:44,960 --> 00:27:48,679 Speaker 2: that one of the big mistakes that parents make that 426 00:27:48,800 --> 00:27:51,879 Speaker 2: she would see, is that you're raising your child to 427 00:27:51,920 --> 00:27:54,920 Speaker 2: continue to be dependent on you, as if they will 428 00:27:54,960 --> 00:27:57,160 Speaker 2: never grow up and have to go out into the big, 429 00:27:57,200 --> 00:28:01,879 Speaker 2: bad world. She saw it in in her family, you know, 430 00:28:01,960 --> 00:28:05,040 Speaker 2: of how some of her older brothers and sisters, her 431 00:28:05,080 --> 00:28:08,720 Speaker 2: father was still waking them up and you know, making 432 00:28:08,720 --> 00:28:11,440 Speaker 2: sure they got to school on time. My mother, being 433 00:28:11,440 --> 00:28:15,560 Speaker 2: the middle child, always thought, well, why can't you Why 434 00:28:15,560 --> 00:28:18,040 Speaker 2: didn't you teach my older sister how to set an 435 00:28:18,080 --> 00:28:21,840 Speaker 2: alarm and get up? Why would you continue to wake 436 00:28:21,960 --> 00:28:25,760 Speaker 2: up a child to go to school to get their 437 00:28:25,800 --> 00:28:29,320 Speaker 2: own education, right, Because if you got to wake them 438 00:28:29,400 --> 00:28:31,280 Speaker 2: up for school, you're not going to be able to 439 00:28:31,320 --> 00:28:33,719 Speaker 2: wake them up to get to class. At college or 440 00:28:33,760 --> 00:28:40,040 Speaker 2: to have a job when they're thirty. Yeah, to play 441 00:28:40,080 --> 00:28:43,160 Speaker 2: out that wisdom. My brother and I we had alarm 442 00:28:43,200 --> 00:28:47,520 Speaker 2: clocks in kindergarten. She gave us both alarm clocks when 443 00:28:47,560 --> 00:28:50,800 Speaker 2: we reached kindergarten. He was first, and she was like, 444 00:28:50,880 --> 00:28:54,600 Speaker 2: this is how it works. You are now responsible for 445 00:28:54,680 --> 00:28:58,160 Speaker 2: your education. I got mine. You should go to school, 446 00:28:58,960 --> 00:29:01,040 Speaker 2: and you have to wake up up, you know. And 447 00:29:01,080 --> 00:29:03,840 Speaker 2: it wasn't like my mother wasn't up. She just wasn't 448 00:29:03,840 --> 00:29:06,120 Speaker 2: going to wake us up. She was up making breakfast. 449 00:29:06,240 --> 00:29:10,480 Speaker 2: But she wanted us to own our lives. So I 450 00:29:10,520 --> 00:29:14,800 Speaker 2: think that piece of wisdom has helped me tremendously, and 451 00:29:14,920 --> 00:29:17,560 Speaker 2: not only as a human being, but it's helped me 452 00:29:17,600 --> 00:29:23,040 Speaker 2: as a mother. Yeah, because she handed me and my 453 00:29:23,120 --> 00:29:25,920 Speaker 2: brother our lives, not leaving us out in the cold. 454 00:29:25,960 --> 00:29:29,880 Speaker 2: But she said, this is your life, these are your choices, 455 00:29:30,040 --> 00:29:33,600 Speaker 2: and I'm gonna let you practice making those choices really early. 456 00:29:34,440 --> 00:29:38,120 Speaker 2: I'm not going to wait until you're sixteen to have 457 00:29:38,240 --> 00:29:41,400 Speaker 2: you make your first decisions about a set of things. 458 00:29:41,880 --> 00:29:44,440 Speaker 1: Well, it sounds like she was putting your agency in 459 00:29:44,520 --> 00:29:50,080 Speaker 1: your hands in perhaps ahead of the curve, but appropriate 460 00:29:50,200 --> 00:29:54,560 Speaker 1: ways exactly. And I find it really interesting. You know, 461 00:29:54,840 --> 00:29:57,840 Speaker 1: my friends and I talk a lot about the difference 462 00:29:57,840 --> 00:30:00,920 Speaker 1: for us at forty is our and didn't have access 463 00:30:00,960 --> 00:30:03,240 Speaker 1: to any of the tools we have access to. Yeah, 464 00:30:03,600 --> 00:30:06,120 Speaker 1: you know, we we can go to therapy, we can 465 00:30:06,200 --> 00:30:08,840 Speaker 1: read about therapy, we can listen to as you know, 466 00:30:08,920 --> 00:30:14,040 Speaker 1: Mel Robbins, whatever it is. And and that debate about 467 00:30:14,080 --> 00:30:17,480 Speaker 1: how you are your child's safest place, how you can 468 00:30:17,600 --> 00:30:20,719 Speaker 1: nurture them through things, but also how you have to 469 00:30:20,720 --> 00:30:23,520 Speaker 1: teach them to be resilient, because if you just baby 470 00:30:23,560 --> 00:30:26,880 Speaker 1: them through everything, you're just gonna, to your point, raise babies. 471 00:30:27,040 --> 00:30:31,200 Speaker 2: Yeah, and when we confuse being that safe sometimes we 472 00:30:31,240 --> 00:30:36,280 Speaker 2: confuse being that safe place because sometimes we're trying to 473 00:30:36,360 --> 00:30:41,120 Speaker 2: make ourselves safe, right, I mean, because a lot of 474 00:30:41,160 --> 00:30:44,680 Speaker 2: the stuff that we do in the name of protecting 475 00:30:44,720 --> 00:30:49,960 Speaker 2: our kids is sometimes protecting us from our fears about them, 476 00:30:50,640 --> 00:30:53,760 Speaker 2: from letting them go. It's a scary thing to have. 477 00:30:53,840 --> 00:30:57,360 Speaker 2: The first of all, you're shocked by how much you 478 00:30:57,480 --> 00:31:02,280 Speaker 2: love your kids. No one can prepare you for how 479 00:31:02,360 --> 00:31:06,560 Speaker 2: this little person you've adopted or carried around inside of you, 480 00:31:06,680 --> 00:31:09,800 Speaker 2: however you were blessed to have that child in your life, 481 00:31:10,440 --> 00:31:14,320 Speaker 2: how they would just take over your heart, you know, 482 00:31:14,680 --> 00:31:18,600 Speaker 2: and make you feel so helpless and so you know, 483 00:31:18,800 --> 00:31:23,280 Speaker 2: desperate not to mess it up. Right, So if you're 484 00:31:23,320 --> 00:31:27,320 Speaker 2: not prepared for that, you don't recognize that most of 485 00:31:27,400 --> 00:31:31,280 Speaker 2: us parent out of straight up fear. It's like, I 486 00:31:31,400 --> 00:31:35,200 Speaker 2: just want to keep you alive, right, I just and 487 00:31:35,280 --> 00:31:37,880 Speaker 2: I don't want you to hurt because it hurts me 488 00:31:38,040 --> 00:31:39,360 Speaker 2: to have you hurt. 489 00:31:40,080 --> 00:31:40,200 Speaker 1: Right. 490 00:31:40,760 --> 00:31:44,640 Speaker 2: And so then instead of parenting, we start protecting. And 491 00:31:45,120 --> 00:31:49,000 Speaker 2: we're not just protecting our children, we're protecting our own hearts. 492 00:31:50,760 --> 00:31:54,280 Speaker 2: And I think we got we gotta kind of really 493 00:31:54,320 --> 00:31:57,800 Speaker 2: be mindful about some of the decisions that we may 494 00:31:58,080 --> 00:32:01,560 Speaker 2: out of the well intentioned love that we feel for 495 00:32:01,600 --> 00:32:07,520 Speaker 2: our children. Yeah, and we can accidentally handycap them. We 496 00:32:07,600 --> 00:32:12,520 Speaker 2: can make them believe that we don't believe in them 497 00:32:12,560 --> 00:32:15,160 Speaker 2: because we're protecting them. I mean, one of the best 498 00:32:15,160 --> 00:32:17,120 Speaker 2: things my mother had us do. And we lived in 499 00:32:17,160 --> 00:32:19,959 Speaker 2: a time in a neighborhood where you could walk to school, 500 00:32:20,520 --> 00:32:24,600 Speaker 2: right and in kindergarten, after a couple of days of 501 00:32:24,640 --> 00:32:28,000 Speaker 2: walking me to school, my mom was like, you can 502 00:32:28,040 --> 00:32:31,000 Speaker 2: do this. You know, there are crossing guards at the corner. 503 00:32:31,440 --> 00:32:34,280 Speaker 2: You know. The school was literally down the block around 504 00:32:34,280 --> 00:32:37,479 Speaker 2: the corner and there was a one big major street 505 00:32:37,760 --> 00:32:39,640 Speaker 2: with a crossing guard. And then I was at the 506 00:32:39,640 --> 00:32:42,960 Speaker 2: school yard, but of course in kinderar and I thought 507 00:32:42,960 --> 00:32:45,280 Speaker 2: my mother was crazy. I was like, I, you know, 508 00:32:45,720 --> 00:32:47,800 Speaker 2: why do you trust me out here in the world. 509 00:32:47,960 --> 00:32:51,160 Speaker 2: Isn't it bad out here? But she sent me off, 510 00:32:51,480 --> 00:32:54,160 Speaker 2: and there was a level of pride that I developed 511 00:32:54,160 --> 00:32:59,280 Speaker 2: a sense of confidence in myself that I actually accomplished it. Right, 512 00:32:59,400 --> 00:33:01,240 Speaker 2: So when I write and the light that you know, 513 00:33:01,320 --> 00:33:05,000 Speaker 2: when we deprive our kids of that independence, we're also 514 00:33:05,080 --> 00:33:08,959 Speaker 2: depriving of the feeling of confidence that they can master 515 00:33:09,400 --> 00:33:15,800 Speaker 2: like really small things. So my current Michelle Obama confidence, 516 00:33:16,520 --> 00:33:20,800 Speaker 2: if I were to pinpoint, it started with that decision, 517 00:33:20,960 --> 00:33:24,560 Speaker 2: those small decisions that my mom made to give me 518 00:33:24,640 --> 00:33:27,680 Speaker 2: my life and watched me succeed at it and be 519 00:33:27,840 --> 00:33:32,440 Speaker 2: okay when I failed, right, Yeah, And so that kind 520 00:33:32,440 --> 00:33:37,040 Speaker 2: of wisdom, for example, has helped me. I think it's 521 00:33:37,160 --> 00:33:42,440 Speaker 2: uncommon in parenting today, but it's something we should talk about, right, 522 00:33:42,560 --> 00:33:46,160 Speaker 2: We should talk about why we parent the way we parent. 523 00:33:46,800 --> 00:33:49,880 Speaker 2: Are we operating with a philosophy or are we just 524 00:33:50,320 --> 00:33:51,800 Speaker 2: are we just winging it? You know? 525 00:33:52,120 --> 00:33:56,880 Speaker 1: Yeah, Well, isn't this just the best, let's continue this conversation. 526 00:33:57,880 --> 00:34:16,400 Speaker 1: We'll be back with Part two with Obama