Speaker 1: Ready tell us one to go one two three.
Speaker 2: Together, we wrote this song we just did Welcome to.
Speaker 1: Let Me Ask my Dad podcast. I'm Gabby, that's Dad
Speaker 1: slash David, and we're coming to you live from New
Speaker 1: York City Baby.
Speaker 2: At the iHeartRadio Studios podcast studio. Exactly. What a gigantic
Speaker 2: green room this time. This is our We're moving on
Speaker 2: up up.
Speaker 1: Yeah. They started giving us snacks. That's how you know
Speaker 1: we're making them money. But we're not going to eat
Speaker 1: any of them because we're both on so many pets.
Speaker 1: I could barely sip water.
Speaker 2: I'm not even thirsty anymore. I'm not.
Speaker 1: I haven't felt a feeling in weeks. Exactly.
Speaker 2: I'm hollow.
Speaker 1: I'm hollow, and by that we mean then exactly, Dad,
Speaker 1: you're coming off, you're doing all your MSG shows. Tell
Speaker 1: us how you feel. Let's catch up quickly.
Speaker 2: It's great, real quick ketchup or more of a mustard?
Speaker 2: I know, well, it depends on what you would never
Speaker 2: have mustard on fries.
Speaker 1: I have mustard on fries all the time. What are
Speaker 1: you talking about? A sweet potato waffle? Hold on before
Speaker 1: you before you go, sweep before you before you jump
Speaker 1: in a sweet potato waffle fry with yellow mustard. That's
Speaker 1: the correct combination.
Speaker 2: Yellow is for the goyasha we have. We have only
Speaker 2: Deli mustard brown.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you don't put a Deli mustard on a french fry.
Speaker 1: What do you put on a hot dog?
Speaker 2: Mustard? Delli mustard?
Speaker 1: Well, now you're confusing me. You put a yellow mustard
Speaker 1: on a hot dog.
Speaker 2: No, never yellow mustard. That's bad.
Speaker 1: Why is that bad?
Speaker 2: Because that's not It's not a Jewish mustard. We need
Speaker 2: Jewish mustard.
Speaker 1: You've never told me this. And we've had yello mustard
Speaker 1: in the fridge and nothing else.
Speaker 2: Uh, probably because I ran out of the other one
Speaker 2: and I gave it to you.
Speaker 1: Oh, only Catholics use regular mustard. Wi, you have to
Speaker 1: use this spicy.
Speaker 2: Yes, it's and when you were bought mitsfoot had said
Speaker 2: it in all that crazy language.
Speaker 1: Oh look, I am okay. How the shows?
Speaker 2: How are the shows great? We're in reality?
Speaker 3: Now?
Speaker 2: This was three done. We did a Tuesday at Thursday.
Speaker 2: Last night was the Sunday?
Speaker 1: Did any select? Did Benson Moon come last night?
Speaker 2: He did not come last lock. Paul McCartney came though
Speaker 2: to the show on Thursday, which is pretty excellent.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and you open with the Beatles song It was
Speaker 1: crazy looking at.
Speaker 2: The guy who wrote it as you're singing it was
Speaker 2: pretty excellent and.
Speaker 1: Then scary or were you just vibe? No?
Speaker 2: I was like, look at this, look at this. I
Speaker 2: know you're judging me and grading me.
Speaker 1: Look at me, look at me.
Speaker 2: I could do this, Look at it. I could do that.
Speaker 1: I really wanted to meet him, but he disappeared.
Speaker 2: He was singing living on a prayer, he was jumping
Speaker 2: up and down, dancing. I meant him a bunch of
Speaker 2: times I took I went to high school with his wife.
Speaker 1: The fact that this beatle married someone from Jay Stevens,
Speaker 1: JP Stephens Edison, New Jersey is so fucking crazy.
Speaker 2: Well, you know, I mean it made sense, Edison.
Speaker 1: It makes no fucking But this is all great, But
Speaker 1: how do we get Benson Boone to the concert? Do
Speaker 1: you even know who that is?
Speaker 2: I know who it is. Who is great. He's the
Speaker 2: he's a great performan. He's the one that flips all around.
Speaker 1: Like yes, yeah, oh, how did you know that?
Speaker 2: I know him? He's really good.
Speaker 1: He's amazing. And he played Barkley Center this whole weekend.
Speaker 1: So I was like, can someone get Benson Boone on
Speaker 1: the horn, get him to the BJ show on Sunday.
Speaker 2: I'll work it.
Speaker 1: Well, he's gone, Dad, it's over. I tell you specifically,
Speaker 1: do call Benson Boone on this day? I say, get
Speaker 1: Riley Green on the phone. And you never do it.
Speaker 2: They're touring.
Speaker 1: You don't even know that. I know that. I just
Speaker 1: told you that right now. That's why you know that
Speaker 1: right now.
Speaker 2: I did text the Riley Green immediately after that, and what.
Speaker 1: Did you say? And what did you text him?
Speaker 2: I text extend that I copy and paste.
Speaker 1: What did you say? Let me see what you said?
Speaker 2: I'm not telling I.
Speaker 1: Gave him very specific instructions. I said, text Riley Green,
Speaker 1: tell him I have a beautiful daughter.
Speaker 2: He knows that.
Speaker 1: How would he know that.
Speaker 2: Because we talked about you when I saw him in Nashville.
Speaker 1: You never told me that once? And now and yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm freaking out.
Speaker 2: I'm like an onion.
Speaker 1: What did you say to him?
Speaker 2: Said my daughter wants to marry you?
Speaker 1: Did you just say that? Because that made me sound ugly?
Speaker 2: I did not say that at all.
Speaker 1: What did you say?
Speaker 2: I don't remember.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, this is a disaster. I said, we
Speaker 1: did this whole plan where it's very smooth.
Speaker 2: You did this whole plan.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and you my plans because no one makes plans
Speaker 1: except me, and then no one does the plans in
Speaker 1: the right way.
Speaker 2: It has to happen organically. Gap, it's not just.
Speaker 1: Well, apparently it didn't. You don't remember that over yet.
Speaker 2: Hello, What did you say?
Speaker 1: You said, I'm beautiful with the perfect amount of filler?
Speaker 1: What did you say?
Speaker 2: Uh? Duh?
Speaker 1: What did you say to him?
Speaker 2: You remember that was a while ago, just something she's
Speaker 2: a comedian. Last time I was how.
Speaker 1: Long did you show a photograph?
Speaker 2: And which one? When I jammed at the uh in
Speaker 2: the parking lot of Losers, because that's where I actually
Speaker 2: met Riley Green about twelve years ago, when he was
Speaker 2: just like a regular guy, singing, no one.
Speaker 1: Cares about this. That's to the point where you tell me?
Speaker 2: And then then I played, and then I went up
Speaker 2: and jammed with him, and then afterwards I that's all
Speaker 2: I talked about, was you.
Speaker 1: What did you say? What did you Why won't you
Speaker 1: tell me? What did you say?
Speaker 2: Nothing bad? Only good? I said, my daughter's a comedian.
Speaker 2: You should meet her. You should marry and have children.
Speaker 1: No, no, but don't joke around right now. What did
Speaker 1: you say to him?
Speaker 2: Just set your comedian and uh and and uh?
Speaker 1: Did you tell him that I wanted to marry him?
Speaker 2: Oh, I'm not telling you that. That's gap. That's that'll
Speaker 2: never work. It has to happen.
Speaker 1: No, I agree. So I'm just jebble checking. You didn't
Speaker 1: do that.
Speaker 2: No, I didn't do that.
Speaker 1: But did you tell him I'm beautiful?
Speaker 2: He saw pictures? Of course, you don't worry.
Speaker 1: You should have ped Well he hasn't yet, and apparently
Speaker 1: this was weeks ago, so we have a real miscommunication.
Speaker 2: We'll work on it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's yes, we will work I'm asking you to
Speaker 1: work on it.
Speaker 2: Okay, twenty bucks we have.
Speaker 1: Our producer just said we have to move on. I'll
Speaker 1: never move on for us. This just tanked the next
Speaker 1: three episodes.
Speaker 2: Okay, you're fine.
Speaker 1: What picture whatever put a pin in this episode?
Speaker 3: Two?
Speaker 1: Today, I'm going to start the episode with this when
Speaker 1: we are allotted.
Speaker 2: Okay, good?
Speaker 1: All right? Four? Oh my god, oh my god. Brian's
Speaker 1: specific question if you could imagine another one? Yeah, not
Speaker 1: a question, but an update on our listeners with the
Speaker 1: retail cheese bangs who wanted to adopt a child. Will
Speaker 1: What was that again?
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, we didn't know what that was.
Speaker 1: I okay, right they said they had retail cheese.
Speaker 2: We were talking about wholesale cheese bangs.
Speaker 1: Oh, they wrote in morning, I'm I'm so sorry for
Speaker 1: the confusion. I meant I work in retail selling cheese and.
Speaker 2: I have bangs. Wow is that a mashup?
Speaker 1: No clue where the bangs came in? Also an update,
Speaker 1: we are looking and have applied to adopt a set
Speaker 1: of twins, a boy and a girl age seven. Thanks
Speaker 1: for your podcast. Good luck on both your upcoming tours.
Speaker 2: So no bangs. No bangs works in retail.
Speaker 1: Works in retail selling cheese. When I hear selling cheese,
Speaker 1: I would never consider that retail, if that makes sense.
Speaker 1: In my mind, retail is just Sarah Well an urban
Speaker 1: outfitters selling cheese. Right, So in cheeses it's a small
Speaker 1: food bev.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's like a cheese shop.
Speaker 1: Yeah, the cheese department retailed cheese bangs.
Speaker 2: No wonder why we were confused.
Speaker 1: I forgot about that.
Speaker 2: That took it chat. What that means?
Speaker 1: Well, apparently means nothing, because I think it was a
Speaker 1: slip up and she typed bangs.
Speaker 2: But last least we talked her into twins. Good luck. Wow,
Speaker 2: I he'll never sleep again. And then we're at this
Speaker 2: age you know, you sleep less because then they were
Speaker 2: I need money, right, that never.
Speaker 1: Ends, By the way, I need money, But I wouldn't
Speaker 1: need money if I was married to Riley Green. So
Speaker 1: I'm kidding Riley. This is totally jokes. I'm not even
Speaker 1: that into so Yeah, okay, there. I can't believe they
Speaker 1: listen to our advice.
Speaker 2: Hey, listen, every once in a while people go against
Speaker 2: their judgment and listen to.
Speaker 1: Us and listen to us. Yeah, and I once again,
Speaker 1: we don't recommend it anyway. First question, Hello, Gabby and David. Ah,
Speaker 1: I'm fifty one years old, married to my husband for
Speaker 1: twenty two years, and polyamorous for four years. Do you
Speaker 1: know what polyamorous is? Oh?
Speaker 2: We back to these weird words again.
Speaker 1: Yeah, what do you think Polly no.
Speaker 2: No, hold on? Polly is many and amorous as loves right,
Speaker 2: which means that they're an open relationship.
Speaker 1: Would that be no? But you're you.
Speaker 2: Got I'm on the trail.
Speaker 1: Yeah, go back to the origin.
Speaker 2: Okay, let's go to Polly many loves amors loves right?
Speaker 1: Correct? What is that in layman's terms?
Speaker 2: Uh, you're cheating like crazy, I'm cheating.
Speaker 1: Nope, roll it back. I mean depends on your opinions here,
Speaker 1: but it's not they're polyamorous many loves. What do you
Speaker 1: think that means in modern day society?
Speaker 2: It's not open marriage, that's what we used to call that,
Speaker 2: or you're allowed to be with other people you except
Speaker 2: that you can have other people.
Speaker 1: Yeah, don't say we, well, not we, I mean right, well,
Speaker 1: people will just assume no, not us, I mean we
Speaker 1: in terms of you, in terms of your lifestyle.
Speaker 2: Oh okay, Uh.
Speaker 1: So my generation used to say that because now everyone
Speaker 1: is going to think you were in an open No no.
Speaker 2: No, my generation we said open.
Speaker 1: Right relation, which is still a thing. But polyamorous is
Speaker 1: sort of the Pokemon evolve of open relationships.
Speaker 2: Why do you guys have why does the generation have
Speaker 2: that new words? Can it just be open relation to
Speaker 2: words polyamorous? Now you're gonna look shit up, You're gotta
Speaker 2: ask chat.
Speaker 1: Well, I'm asking you right now. Chat is not even
Speaker 1: in the mix right now, And this is actually an
Speaker 1: old term. If you can imagine you just were You're
Speaker 1: just not on the poles of culture in this.
Speaker 2: Way, polyamorous culture, I am not. Yes, that's correct.
Speaker 1: Open is right.
Speaker 2: You can you spell it? Yeah, sure, know you're looking,
Speaker 2: you're looking now you're cheated.
Speaker 1: I know.
Speaker 2: Polyamorous a m O U are o us No.
Speaker 1: You missed an r in there. So polyamorous is when
Speaker 1: you're allowed to have many relationships at once. So it's
Speaker 1: not like you're open dating other people. It's like you have.
Speaker 2: Four girlfriends but they're married, but.
Speaker 1: There two of them are married that the husband and
Speaker 1: the wife, and then the husband can have a couple
Speaker 1: girlfriends and the wife can have a couple of boyfriends,
Speaker 1: or they could have another girlfriend together. Look, but it
Speaker 1: is really I know you're in shock. It is. It
Speaker 1: is a relationship.
Speaker 2: That's why we But it's called open relationship. That's what
Speaker 2: an open relationship for me means. It's, uh, you can
Speaker 2: do anything you want.
Speaker 1: Open is like you could fuck anyone you want and
Speaker 1: like be free in that way. Poly amors is like
Speaker 1: relations you have multiple committed relationships.
Speaker 2: Isn't that U? Mormons?
Speaker 1: It's kind of Mormon. It's kind of what's the other
Speaker 1: one with a bunch of wives.
Speaker 2: That's Mormons.
Speaker 1: I thought there was another one, like, like, uh, what's
Speaker 1: that they're not They're not pill surely they're not pill.
Speaker 1: What am I? What am I talking about? The ones
Speaker 1: who make the butter? They make all the butter.
Speaker 2: Oh the Amish?
Speaker 1: Amish, don't they have a couple of wives. No, and
Speaker 1: then there's another's there's Amish, right, we all agree, there's Amish.
Speaker 1: There's another Mennonite.
Speaker 2: Well, Mennonites are Amish.
Speaker 1: I don't think they think that.
Speaker 2: No, that's what they are. I believe me. I just
Speaker 2: was there.
Speaker 1: I was when you were with the Mennonites.
Speaker 2: Yes, we had a group meeting. We talked about polyamorous relationship.
Speaker 1: I just want to check in and make sure they're
Speaker 1: up to date on keep making that cheese.
Speaker 2: Wait, when we rehearsed. When we rehearsed in Littts, Pennsylvania's
Speaker 2: where we did our pre production. That's in the heart
Speaker 2: of the Amish.
Speaker 1: And you communed with them in some sort of way.
Speaker 2: No, we just saw their little carts and buggies going by.
Speaker 1: But you weren't asking that. You didn't roll down the couple.
Speaker 1: How many wives do you have?
Speaker 2: We were making up the name sir strip Bars, they
Speaker 2: would have like Mennonites after dark.
Speaker 1: You came up with other good ones? Do we do
Speaker 1: that on the Yeah we did. He's like, move on,
Speaker 1: move on. She's like, we've heard that joke. Okay, back
Speaker 1: to this, if you could imagine. Okay, so there, I'm
Speaker 1: only two sentences in and there's about so there.
Speaker 2: So there, there's a whole lot going on in that
Speaker 2: house in.
Speaker 1: That they've been married for twenty two years. Any kids,
Speaker 1: Let's see, is.
Speaker 2: There fifty five thousand relationships each?
Speaker 1: I mean at that point? Oh shit, Oh it gets crazy.
Speaker 1: I read ahead a little bit. Okay, rewind, I'm fifty
Speaker 1: one years old, married to my husband for twenty two years,
Speaker 1: and polyamorous for four years. You do that math?
Speaker 2: What four years? The last four years in the middle.
Speaker 1: I'm assuming they mean the last four years. It would
Speaker 1: be crazy if they told us about a certain chunk.
Speaker 1: My husband and I are in a closed quad where
Speaker 1: we have a partner. Okay, you got that.
Speaker 2: I need a chalkboard at this point.
Speaker 1: So four in a we have the original two original battery,
Speaker 1: plus they each have a partners extra Chris yep. And
Speaker 1: then that four closed quad. Oh so the cap it
Speaker 1: at for the capping it out.
Speaker 2: So their polyamorous is only at four. They're at quad.
Speaker 1: They're quad amorous.
Speaker 2: Is that quad amorous?
Speaker 1: I think we made that up, but I like it.
Speaker 2: I like it too.
Speaker 1: We live together and we're having a family. My husband
Speaker 1: and his partner are expecting their first child.
Speaker 2: Wow, this is a TV show.
Speaker 1: This is definitely on TEF dark right here, this is
Speaker 1: mennonit's after dark. With all that being said, we have
Speaker 1: a rule where we don't see other people outside of
Speaker 1: our quad. It's a closed well.
Speaker 2: You have to have some rule, no biting to.
Speaker 1: Rule.
Speaker 2: I'm in a rock band and I'm surprised.
Speaker 1: I mean, I could barely keep up with four people
Speaker 1: in my life, let alone a relationship that's a lot
Speaker 1: of Google Calendar invites. Okay, so a few nights ago, I.
Speaker 2: Said, like the gas crunch on and even days they
Speaker 2: get to date or something.
Speaker 1: The gas crunch. That's such a throwback.
Speaker 2: Look that up. But I know about it.
Speaker 1: I know about it because you guys won't stop fucking dogging.
Speaker 1: So a few nights ago, I went out with friends
Speaker 1: to a drag show to celebrate my birthday. Obviously they're
Speaker 1: going drags everyone polyamorous.
Speaker 2: It's kind of gay, it's quad amorous.
Speaker 1: It's quat amorous. Sorry, I got completely hammered and found
Speaker 1: myself waking up the next morning but ass naked in
Speaker 1: bed with my ex girlfriend. So this is a fifth character.
Speaker 1: I don't remember anything, but apparently she does. She had
Speaker 1: this big smile on her face, and when I mentioned
Speaker 1: that I don't remember, she got offended. I took a
Speaker 1: ride share home. Of course, you take a ride share
Speaker 1: because you.
Speaker 2: So. She's Polly Uber too.
Speaker 1: Yeah, she has to always be with a group. Yes,
Speaker 1: at least she knows what she believes in.
Speaker 2: I need three others with me.
Speaker 3: She's like, I couldn't possibly take this, Polly Uber. I
Speaker 3: took a garage your home.
Speaker 1: And didn't say a word to my family.
Speaker 2: This is probably the best one that we've ever had.
Speaker 1: This might be the best one we've ever had. I'm
Speaker 1: thinking about getting everyone together and just them, thinking about
Speaker 1: getting everyone together and just telling them, but I'm nervous.
Speaker 1: Any advice about what to do would be amazing. I mean,
Speaker 1: first of all, asking us advice on this is the
Speaker 1: craziest fucking thing you've ever done. I got to go
Speaker 1: outside of dating three other people.
Speaker 2: I got it. What I mean, Christmas must be wonderful
Speaker 2: at their house, right, set up a Christmas tree. Yeah,
Speaker 2: make believe it's the holidays, invite.
Speaker 1: Everybody over exactly, yeah.
Speaker 2: Exactly yeah, and then you can all get together.
Speaker 1: And I mean they could do a may pole in
Speaker 1: the whole house. They have enough people in there.
Speaker 2: You could play get Ouiji board, contact dead lovers, contact
Speaker 2: the other polyamorous people.
Speaker 1: Well, you know what's really shocking about this is like.
Speaker 2: Okay, so what do they actually asking about it?
Speaker 1: But hear me out thought experiment here. When you're in
Speaker 1: dating one other person and you cheat, it's horrible, right,
Speaker 1: you have to go home and you have to tell
Speaker 1: that one other person. Well what if you call it? Right?
Speaker 1: Imagine you you cheat and you have to go home
Speaker 1: and tell three other people that you cheated on them.
Speaker 1: I mean you have to hold a town hall in
Speaker 1: your kitchen. This is like, what have you done? This
Speaker 1: is a council. You have to approach a council.
Speaker 2: It isn't four enough of lovers, isn't four enough?
Speaker 1: It'sn't four enough? You what a hungry, hungry little hippo,
Speaker 1: a gluttonous little pig. You had.
Speaker 2: Right, you're in a thing where you got You've narrowed
Speaker 2: it down just before it because you can have as
Speaker 2: I guess, there is endless.
Speaker 1: I get, there's.
Speaker 2: Many many. So now you're a quad and you're like,
Speaker 2: I'm poured. I need I need to make it. You
Speaker 2: know you got five fingers on a hand. Let's just
Speaker 2: do for five?
Speaker 1: Yeah, go for five? I mean, capitalist pig. This is
Speaker 1: capitalism at its best, yes, or even at its worst.
Speaker 2: So you know what my advice would be, What if
Speaker 2: it's five, you know, why not make it seven?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Ring her, move her in. I mean, someone's got
Speaker 1: to raise this one child.
Speaker 2: What does this kike gonna look like? Is it gonna
Speaker 2: be a chromosome mess?
Speaker 1: This kid is gonna come out either, like, now, let
Speaker 1: me let me get one thing's right. Who's my mommy
Speaker 1: and daddy?
Speaker 2: Who the fuck are my parents?
Speaker 1: Yeah? And then you're gonna actually know someone catch this.
Speaker 1: I went to college with the girl who was weird, obviously,
Speaker 1: and she was raised in a polyamorous She had like
Speaker 1: five moms and seven dads and a whole thing, and
Speaker 1: sheld guess what she was totally fucking weird. Duh, it's
Speaker 1: the price you pay.
Speaker 2: Duh. Hi, mam Ma, mo mom?
Speaker 1: Do they have to go? Mama, mommy, popa pop? Are
Speaker 1: you gonna do? No?
Speaker 2: I think it like it was sort of like when
Speaker 2: George Foreman had he had twelve kids. He named all George, like,
Speaker 2: oh George, and they all come go mom, and all
Speaker 2: eight of them come out, and you go, dad, and
Speaker 2: twenty seven dads come out. You're like, I'm hungry, somebody,
Speaker 2: I'm hungry.
Speaker 1: What a great reference. I completely forgot that George Foreman
Speaker 1: did that. Yeah, that's that was one of the best things.
Speaker 2: That boy was everything. And he said because when I
Speaker 2: said George, everybody came. He's like, you come here.
Speaker 1: The other eleven George a guy he invented a very
Speaker 1: small grill.
Speaker 2: That girl saved his life.
Speaker 1: It did.
Speaker 2: Didn't you see the documentary on it?
Speaker 1: Of course, I didn't see the documentary.
Speaker 2: He was broke, he was already, he was done, he
Speaker 2: was done with all his boxing. He was broke, and
Speaker 2: somebody came to him. He was running his church, and
Speaker 2: they came in and they invested the money. This one
Speaker 2: guy invested the money from he didn't even know he
Speaker 2: invested it into the George Foreman grill.
Speaker 1: What do you mean he didn't know? He invested it
Speaker 1: one of.
Speaker 2: His friends, like took some money, his manager invested it in.
Speaker 2: Why did he have a manager for him, Well, because
Speaker 2: he had millions of dollars. He was boxer, George for.
Speaker 1: I didn't even know that. I didn't even know that.
Speaker 2: Gabby, he was the heavyweight champion of the world.
Speaker 1: Really, yes, George, no one I'm really obsessed with right now,
Speaker 1: Patty the battie speaking of fighters anyone.
Speaker 2: So then he did the George Forman grill and it
Speaker 2: made him one hundreds of millions of dollars. Brought it
Speaker 2: right back, and then they did in the plato version.
Speaker 2: Remember I brought you the plato one yet with the
Speaker 2: sizzle sound. Yes, that's the best thing ever.
Speaker 1: Wait, George form what a genius. And then of course
Speaker 1: that actually makes perfect sense. Of course he named all
Speaker 1: his kids George because he had his head rocked so
Speaker 1: many times that he couldn't think of another name.
Speaker 2: Listen, he knew his name.
Speaker 1: CT is a hell of a drug.
Speaker 2: He knew his name.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you said George, that's all I got.
Speaker 2: No, they said you know what he wanted to name
Speaker 2: the baby. My name is George.
Speaker 1: Yeah, he goes, well, I named the grill George. Why
Speaker 1: would I not name the baby George?
Speaker 2: Just right? Everybody George. So anyway, so what we're telling
Speaker 2: you was name your kid George.
Speaker 1: I mean I think you'd take wow. Wow, I don't
Speaker 1: even know what to say.
Speaker 2: You've stumped the band. Actually stuff the bad I've actually unbelievable.
Speaker 2: Why don't you give us advice?
Speaker 1: I mean, clearly you've unlocked a new way of living
Speaker 1: that we're just we just got to peptides. We're not
Speaker 1: even close to Polly, We're on the original p So
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 2: I wonder this. You know, what, is there like some
Speaker 2: tax benefit?
Speaker 1: Maybe there has to be.
Speaker 2: There has to be Can you imagine that, will I
Speaker 2: would like to the couch.
Speaker 1: Goes to the third way, the TV goes to the sixth.
Speaker 2: That's right, the fifth husband gets.
Speaker 1: The fifth husband gets nothing. Fuck him?
Speaker 2: Yeah, fuck him?
Speaker 1: You know, like there has to be some I mean,
Speaker 1: imagine the amount of vendettas in that house. It's hard
Speaker 1: to have roommates, let alone if you're fucking all of them.
Speaker 1: And then and then add on raising a child, then
Speaker 1: what's kind of breastfeed all of them?
Speaker 2: Well, and then do you what kind of house do
Speaker 2: you have? You have to have twenty seven bedrooms, just.
Speaker 1: For more of a complex than anything else. Yeah, maybe
Speaker 1: they got an apartment building. You know, it's like a
Speaker 1: two home.
Speaker 2: It's actually sounding like a cult if you really think
Speaker 2: about it. This is now cold show.
Speaker 1: Let's make one thing clear, it's for sure a cult.
Speaker 1: They haven't mentioned Jesus yet, but I'm assuming if they
Speaker 1: added one more paragraph Jesus Jesus. But they did mention, Actually,
Speaker 1: you know what, flip that on its head. They mentioned
Speaker 1: a drag show. So I think it's it's gay. Wait, okay, this.
Speaker 2: Is no, it's everything.
Speaker 1: Now, this is it's everything. That's Jesus, it's drag.
Speaker 2: It's it's kids.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's right.
Speaker 2: I love cars. Do you have to have in the drive?
Speaker 1: They don't need a car, they have ride shares.
Speaker 2: Oh right, sorry, this is real.
Speaker 1: It's a carpool situation.
Speaker 2: That's a family.
Speaker 1: It's us.
Speaker 2: What's this the fucking Partridge family? They have to have
Speaker 2: like a school bus out.
Speaker 1: This is the modern Partridge family.
Speaker 2: This is no, this is the fucked up part Partridge family.
Speaker 1: How did you meet all these? I mean, like, I
Speaker 1: can't even hold down one boyfriend? How do you have five?
Speaker 2: Hold on? So now you've shown me that there's all
Speaker 2: these dating apps for everything? Is there a polyamorous dating appa? People?
Speaker 2: Twenty seven people around me?
Speaker 1: I love how there's producers for different things in this room.
Speaker 1: I'm like, anyone know, and someone's like, Field, there's Field?
Speaker 1: Field is I think I mentioned field to.
Speaker 2: You, Like everybody in a field? I want to screw
Speaker 2: all of them.
Speaker 1: Field is like playing the field? You know that phrase?
Speaker 1: It comes off of that. I'm assuming that was that.
Speaker 2: Was the OG statement.
Speaker 1: We used to say, yeah, and Field is the app
Speaker 1: for Kinks. So you get to put in whatever you're
Speaker 1: into and then it matches you with a person who's
Speaker 1: into that. So like if you put in part.
Speaker 2: Yeah, or matches you with the twenty seven people?
Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly, you say Polly and then you match. And
Speaker 1: then sometimes you go on the dating app and it'll
Speaker 1: be and this is shocking, when it comes up, it'll
Speaker 1: be you're used to one guy, one guy, one guy.
Speaker 1: It comes up and it's a guy and a girl
Speaker 1: and that couple is looking for someone Brooklyn's. I mean,
Speaker 1: it's a fucking war zone. It's a war zone right now.
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm swiping in the trenches. Okay, I
Speaker 1: have trench foot on both.
Speaker 2: Feet and my ass.
Speaker 1: It's a disaster.
Speaker 2: Well, don't be polyamorous, Okay, I have no I'm not
Speaker 2: going to walk down the aisle with you in twenty
Speaker 2: seven other people. Okay, not fucking doing it.
Speaker 1: That would be a hell of a wedding.
Speaker 2: I'm not paying for it, and I'm not doing that.
Speaker 1: What we need to wearhouse?
Speaker 2: Oh my god? How much is that? Weddings?
Speaker 1: A chain of people that's so funny?
Speaker 2: And one kid and one kid, kid with a big head.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you go something really bad. We can't really figure
Speaker 1: out who's the mom.
Speaker 2: And who's the kids. Slow. It is slow.
Speaker 1: You can't say slow. You can't say that.
Speaker 2: You can't say it anymore. I can't. He's polyamorous, affected.
Speaker 1: He's affected.
Speaker 2: Let's go with affected, he pa affected, polyamorous affected.
Speaker 1: Yeah, now, this is a total disaster. I don't know
Speaker 1: what you should do, but I know you've done everything
Speaker 1: wrong up until this moment, so let's just keep doing that.
Speaker 2: I think if you have a storm sounds like one
Speaker 2: hell of a storm going on, so let it keep going.
Speaker 1: I think you've come home, you come home with the
Speaker 1: ex girlfriend, like you're bringing home a puppy on Christmas,
Speaker 1: and you say, I know, we're we capped it at four,
Speaker 1: but what if we up the ante a little bit?
Speaker 2: Here it's a it's an odd number.
Speaker 1: It's odd. It's fun.
Speaker 2: We'll get to six.
Speaker 1: We'll get to yeah, we believe we'll get to six. Yes,
Speaker 1: that house, Yeah, they're they're around the you know, around.
Speaker 2: The one kid.
Speaker 1: The kids, like that kid is going to need so
Speaker 1: much therapy. I would start saving now. Oh yeah, all right,
Speaker 1: do we even even have time for another one? All right?
Speaker 1: Should I do the last one in shorter? You? Okay? Hi?
Speaker 1: Gabby and David? Hi, Hi, Hi, my god, Hi. My
Speaker 1: friends insist on splitting restaurant bills even.
Speaker 2: This is oh we're back to North Okay, good, we
Speaker 2: can handle restaurant bills, not fifty five.
Speaker 3: Back on planet Earth here kids, all right, yeah, everyone just.
Speaker 1: Puts a credit card down. It's super easy. The manager
Speaker 1: does it exactly, Just go split it, yes, just split it,
Speaker 1: and then if the waitress gives you any lip, you
Speaker 1: just have.
Speaker 2: That Venmo thing, even like you can split it on
Speaker 2: the venmo.
Speaker 1: Yeah, let me read the whole thing. Okay, sorry, God
Speaker 1: forbid this one. Sound everyone splitting the bills because we're Polly.
Speaker 1: My friend insists on splitting restaurant bills evenly, no matter
Speaker 1: what everyone orders. I don't mind occasionally doing this, but
Speaker 1: I'm getting tired of paying more than what I ordered
Speaker 1: because my friends want to get multiple rounds of drinks
Speaker 1: with their dinner. Is there any plate way of to
Speaker 1: suggest everyone pays for what they ordered? Or am I wrong?
Speaker 1: I actually just went to dinner with all your friends,
Speaker 1: and these are all men in their sixties, and it
Speaker 1: was such a fucking disaster that, I mean, someone is
Speaker 1: putting out Someone's like, put sixty bucks cash and then
Speaker 1: put thirty on this card. And then this is a
Speaker 1: nice restaurant, and the guy's like, I don't even bear
Speaker 1: speak English, let alone I'm splitting all of these cards.
Speaker 1: And then everyone's I mean, they're all every man has
Speaker 1: thirty pairs of readers on and they're switching readers, and
Speaker 1: there's readers traveling around the table because no one can
Speaker 1: see the fucking check. And then they all give it
Speaker 1: to me I can't count. I'm the only one who
Speaker 1: could see. So now I'm trying to reference everything I.
Speaker 2: Get back because the thing you can't do.
Speaker 1: You were screaming. You were screaming at everyone.
Speaker 2: No, you can't say that word. Sorry, beep beep beep that.
Speaker 1: Let's see.
Speaker 2: Sorry, they're they're not intelligent.
Speaker 1: Well that you're digging a hole.
Speaker 2: Now they're stupid, stupid.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but cut and then I'm so sorry. Cut everything
Speaker 1: before that? So what the thing my dad was let
Speaker 1: me finish the story because it was so insane. What
Speaker 1: I'm trying to tell you is that this even happens
Speaker 1: with people in their sixties. My dad was screaming across
Speaker 1: the table, saying, Chris, what the fuck are you talking about?
Speaker 1: Like it was. It was a disaster.
Speaker 2: Because the fail is if you're gonna split it, you
Speaker 2: can't add the tip because then you get the bill
Speaker 2: and then you don't put a tip in, and you
Speaker 2: look like an idiot because the tip goes to the server,
Speaker 2: not to the house, not to the rest of right,
Speaker 2: So I'm like, split what the bill is and then
Speaker 2: each of you tip, right, yes, and if you have
Speaker 2: cash in it, then that messes everything up. Then you
Speaker 2: have to put the original what you're splitting the cash
Speaker 2: and then leave.
Speaker 1: I understand you want to get rid of the cash. Yeah,
Speaker 1: take this, I need it.
Speaker 2: It's like an ATM.
Speaker 1: It's true. But uh, you have to pick one friend
Speaker 1: who's good at math and they're in charge of all
Speaker 1: of this.
Speaker 2: It's not so hard.
Speaker 1: I'm always like, let's split it evenly and then she's
Speaker 1: definitely right. But she's right because people are drinking, and
Speaker 1: that's a lot of money.
Speaker 2: One rule, if you order the bottle of wine is expensive,
Speaker 2: that's on you. That's a separate tip because she usually
Speaker 2: wants expensive. You shouldn't split that. If you order, if
Speaker 2: you get the big wine, anything that's that thick is
Speaker 2: going to be expensive. Right.
Speaker 1: But this is I can't imagine. This is someone who's
Speaker 1: looking drink.
Speaker 2: If they don't drink or anything, then just go, hey, listen,
Speaker 2: I'll pay for my meal.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's it's tricky. This is tricky. If you want
Speaker 1: this is my advice. If you're the one who wants
Speaker 1: to do separate numbers, you're the one who's going to
Speaker 1: have to add it up because the people who are
Speaker 1: drinking are already drunk and they're just like just split it.
Speaker 1: You know, if you want to be the one who's
Speaker 1: being yeah, boring at the table and not drinking, no offense,
Speaker 1: you're the one who's going to have to do the
Speaker 1: sober math.
Speaker 2: Hold on, no, no, I think what you just bought
Speaker 2: up a very interesting point. That's a that's a penalty
Speaker 2: for not drinking. You have to pay for the drinking. Oh,
Speaker 2: that's a split, heavi. So eventually you will learn to
Speaker 2: drink with your friends.
Speaker 1: Eventually you'll learn to have a little goddamn fun exactly.
Speaker 1: And my uncle is in the room who is sober,
Speaker 1: and I cond sense he's mad at.
Speaker 2: Us, yes, and we don't care, and that we agree
Speaker 2: on drink or pay have a little fun. That's called
Speaker 2: a sober penalty.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's a terriff in today's terms, that's a teriff. Yes,
Speaker 1: either you pay, you split it evenly, or you're going
Speaker 1: to sit there with your stupid little calculators and you're
Speaker 1: going to do the math. Well, we're in the corner drinking's.
Speaker 2: Prints, exactly, and you're paying.
Speaker 1: For it, and you pay for it, so yeah, there
Speaker 1: you go soft, yeah, or run out on the bill.
Speaker 1: But there also are all these actually got to come back.
Speaker 1: There's applications. There's called split wise. You could upload the receipt,
Speaker 1: you could venmo. There's a lot of different options you
Speaker 1: could do here. I would suggest, how about you fucking
Speaker 1: live a little.
Speaker 2: Drink drink drink, and if you don't, you have to
Speaker 2: pay for it. It's a penalty.
Speaker 1: Sorry, maybe go, why don't you?
Speaker 2: Sorry advice. We're not so good on polyamorous, but we
Speaker 2: know about drinking.
Speaker 1: This is this, this question. We could confidence.
Speaker 2: That's exactly right, or pay for it, or and pay
Speaker 2: for your weakness. That's weakness and you have to pay.
Speaker 1: Have fun exactly well, that's soft gap. Yeah. I think
Speaker 1: we did really bad and then we saved it on
Speaker 1: the back end.
Speaker 2: Well, if you look at this is we batted five
Speaker 2: hundred and if we played baseball, we could make millions,
Speaker 2: hundreds of millions.
Speaker 1: Hey, if we don't make me do math. I don't
Speaker 1: even know what you just said.
Speaker 2: Just say yes, okay, yes, great, that's exactly right.
Speaker 1: We gotta go.
Speaker 2: We're done.
Speaker 1: Thank you for listening. Don't forget on Instagram and TikTok, subscribe.
Speaker 2: Radio where on I Radio? Oh no bang written on
Speaker 2: the spot. Happy is My Girl? We played the gathering
Speaker 2: thing to gather the gatherery.
Speaker 1: This