1 00:00:00,360 --> 00:00:02,920 Speaker 1: Am I the a hole for telling my depressed brother? 2 00:00:03,200 --> 00:00:07,080 Speaker 1: He only has himself to blame for our parents not 3 00:00:07,240 --> 00:00:10,800 Speaker 1: wanting to talk to him. Auch auchi. And this is 4 00:00:10,800 --> 00:00:13,720 Speaker 1: all answering the question when is a bad sibling relationship 5 00:00:13,760 --> 00:00:17,439 Speaker 1: salvage role? This comes from equivalent tree to a and 6 00:00:17,480 --> 00:00:21,200 Speaker 1: they say, my male thirty four younger brother, Matt male 7 00:00:21,280 --> 00:00:25,160 Speaker 1: thirty one, was engaged to this woman, Emma, female thirty 8 00:00:25,480 --> 00:00:28,880 Speaker 1: for the past year. Everyone in our family, my sister, parents, 9 00:00:28,880 --> 00:00:32,519 Speaker 1: and myself thought they were a perfect match. Emma was 10 00:00:32,640 --> 00:00:36,199 Speaker 1: very polite, well educated, had a great family who we 11 00:00:36,280 --> 00:00:39,600 Speaker 1: had met a few times, and was head over heels 12 00:00:39,920 --> 00:00:43,440 Speaker 1: for Matt. Fast forward to three months ago and Emma 13 00:00:43,479 --> 00:00:49,080 Speaker 1: finds out that Matt cheated on her with another woman. Ooh, 14 00:00:49,280 --> 00:00:54,920 Speaker 1: Cindy be male twenty five. Ooh damn ten years almost 15 00:00:54,920 --> 00:00:55,600 Speaker 1: ten years younger. 16 00:00:55,640 --> 00:00:56,520 Speaker 2: Ohins. 17 00:00:56,560 --> 00:00:59,240 Speaker 1: Needless to say, the marriage has been called off and 18 00:00:59,440 --> 00:01:02,640 Speaker 1: everyone has been beyond angry with Matt. 19 00:01:03,120 --> 00:01:04,679 Speaker 2: Fumbled the bag he really did. 20 00:01:05,360 --> 00:01:08,600 Speaker 1: Our parents haven't spoken to Matt since the fallout of 21 00:01:08,640 --> 00:01:12,360 Speaker 1: what's happened, and even I have only spoken to him twice, 22 00:01:12,720 --> 00:01:18,160 Speaker 1: each call lasting less than five minutes. Our sister has 23 00:01:18,280 --> 00:01:21,000 Speaker 1: also not spoken with him either. This morning, I received 24 00:01:21,000 --> 00:01:23,400 Speaker 1: a call from Matt saying that he wanted to reconcile 25 00:01:23,600 --> 00:01:27,119 Speaker 1: with the family. He mentioned how upset and depressed he's 26 00:01:27,160 --> 00:01:30,360 Speaker 1: been since making the worst mistake of his life and 27 00:01:30,440 --> 00:01:34,080 Speaker 1: how much he regrets his actions. I was listening up 28 00:01:34,160 --> 00:01:36,959 Speaker 1: until this point, but I got annoyed when he started 29 00:01:37,000 --> 00:01:41,480 Speaker 1: mentioning how also Cindy wants to meet our parents and 30 00:01:41,640 --> 00:01:45,240 Speaker 1: the rest of us, so he's still with Cindy. He 31 00:01:45,360 --> 00:01:47,480 Speaker 1: told me that he left our parents' voicemail a few 32 00:01:47,520 --> 00:01:50,000 Speaker 1: days ago, but they haven't responded, and that he feels 33 00:01:50,200 --> 00:01:54,280 Speaker 1: isolated from our family. I point blank told him that 34 00:01:54,360 --> 00:01:57,240 Speaker 1: he only had himself to blame for this, and that 35 00:01:57,320 --> 00:02:00,000 Speaker 1: he clearly didn't think what he did was a missus 36 00:02:00,040 --> 00:02:04,160 Speaker 1: since he was still with Cindy. He said he just 37 00:02:04,240 --> 00:02:07,320 Speaker 1: wanted us to give them a chance. But I told 38 00:02:07,400 --> 00:02:08,920 Speaker 1: him I had to go to work, and I left 39 00:02:08,960 --> 00:02:11,880 Speaker 1: the call while he was finishing a sentence, as I 40 00:02:12,040 --> 00:02:13,600 Speaker 1: was very frustrated with him. 41 00:02:14,280 --> 00:02:16,880 Speaker 2: Am I the A hole? 42 00:02:17,120 --> 00:02:20,600 Speaker 1: And there is an update five hours later, some relevant 43 00:02:20,600 --> 00:02:25,920 Speaker 1: comments and another juicy thick update. But yeah, John is 44 00:02:25,960 --> 00:02:26,720 Speaker 1: OP the A hole? 45 00:02:27,440 --> 00:02:30,000 Speaker 2: You know. I think it's a really important thing to 46 00:02:30,040 --> 00:02:34,360 Speaker 2: consider that a TELDR could be could be a great 47 00:02:34,400 --> 00:02:36,960 Speaker 2: thing in helping to determine whether or not one may 48 00:02:37,040 --> 00:02:39,120 Speaker 2: or may not be an you do you, what do 49 00:02:39,160 --> 00:02:41,639 Speaker 2: you think about that? What are your thoughts? I definitely 50 00:02:41,639 --> 00:02:46,960 Speaker 2: helped and listening. It's so dude, it's so for me. 51 00:02:47,040 --> 00:02:50,399 Speaker 2: It's the scrolling because like I'll scroll and then I'll 52 00:02:50,440 --> 00:02:53,720 Speaker 2: lose where I was in the story, and then I'm like, oh, 53 00:02:53,720 --> 00:02:55,720 Speaker 2: I got to get back, and then by the time, Yeah, 54 00:02:55,760 --> 00:02:56,280 Speaker 2: it's the whole thing. 55 00:02:56,360 --> 00:02:59,080 Speaker 1: I have no idea how how Riley does dude or 56 00:02:59,120 --> 00:03:01,120 Speaker 1: Sophia if he has the same brame as me, I 57 00:03:01,120 --> 00:03:01,760 Speaker 1: don't know how it worked. 58 00:03:01,840 --> 00:03:05,519 Speaker 2: Dude, she she this is this is doing a zoom. 59 00:03:05,560 --> 00:03:08,320 Speaker 2: I'm like, I want to zoom, but I will destroy everything. 60 00:03:08,639 --> 00:03:15,240 Speaker 2: So yeah, talk quick quick TLDR. So Op's brother was 61 00:03:15,280 --> 00:03:19,280 Speaker 2: in a perfect relationship. Uh, then he cheated on that 62 00:03:19,480 --> 00:03:24,120 Speaker 2: partner with this girl, Cindy. The perfect relationship broke up. 63 00:03:24,360 --> 00:03:27,640 Speaker 2: Now he's with Cindy. The whole family has basically been like, 64 00:03:27,880 --> 00:03:31,640 Speaker 2: I am not going to talk to you anymore, god right, 65 00:03:31,760 --> 00:03:34,239 Speaker 2: And so the parents aren't talking to him, the other 66 00:03:34,360 --> 00:03:38,480 Speaker 2: sister isn't talking to him, and Ope isn't talking to him. 67 00:03:38,640 --> 00:03:43,000 Speaker 2: OPI is still Opie's brother is still with Cindy, and 68 00:03:43,000 --> 00:03:46,800 Speaker 2: then oh, pe call. Opie's brother calls Op and it's like, hey, 69 00:03:46,840 --> 00:03:49,480 Speaker 2: I'm really depressed. Can you give us another chance? 70 00:03:50,720 --> 00:03:56,440 Speaker 1: Op basically hung up on her brother because it's like, hey, 71 00:03:56,520 --> 00:03:58,160 Speaker 1: you dug your own grave. 72 00:03:58,520 --> 00:04:01,200 Speaker 2: You can sleep in it. This is op and their brother. 73 00:04:01,480 --> 00:04:05,320 Speaker 1: Yeah, so so it's op, Opie's brother who cheated on 74 00:04:05,680 --> 00:04:09,320 Speaker 1: his wife, his new affair partner now girlfriend, Cindy, and 75 00:04:09,360 --> 00:04:10,080 Speaker 1: then the parents. 76 00:04:10,200 --> 00:04:12,560 Speaker 2: Why is why is he asking his sister for Oh always, 77 00:04:12,560 --> 00:04:15,920 Speaker 2: he's asking for a second chance, just as a sibling. 78 00:04:16,000 --> 00:04:18,720 Speaker 1: Yeah, because he's like, I'm depressed and I just I 79 00:04:19,200 --> 00:04:21,839 Speaker 1: want to I just want to be with my family. 80 00:04:22,560 --> 00:04:25,880 Speaker 2: He was like, I was like, second chance at what? 81 00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:26,960 Speaker 1: Bro? 82 00:04:27,760 --> 00:04:33,040 Speaker 2: Like what the second chance? At a familial? Familial sibling says? 83 00:04:33,120 --> 00:04:35,040 Speaker 1: Do they still talk to the X? I don't know 84 00:04:35,080 --> 00:04:38,560 Speaker 1: if they still talk to the X? But they Oh 85 00:04:38,600 --> 00:04:40,200 Speaker 1: you mean like does the family still talk to the X? 86 00:04:40,279 --> 00:04:42,560 Speaker 1: There was no mention of that, but yeah, but the 87 00:04:42,760 --> 00:04:47,120 Speaker 1: but Opie's brother and the uh Cindy, the fair partner 88 00:04:47,200 --> 00:04:48,520 Speaker 1: are still together? 89 00:04:49,279 --> 00:04:49,640 Speaker 2: Got you? 90 00:04:50,120 --> 00:04:50,320 Speaker 1: Oh? 91 00:04:50,480 --> 00:04:52,480 Speaker 2: Is this is op? Okay? Yes? 92 00:04:52,520 --> 00:04:59,680 Speaker 1: Sorry, sorry reading comprehension low my mail thirty four. So 93 00:04:59,680 --> 00:05:06,200 Speaker 1: so Opie, Opie's brother. Oh he's a man. Oh yeah, 94 00:05:06,680 --> 00:05:10,320 Speaker 1: oh yeah, oh he's a man. So uh there are 95 00:05:10,400 --> 00:05:12,880 Speaker 1: full context. Do you think OPI is the a hole 96 00:05:12,880 --> 00:05:17,159 Speaker 1: for basically saying you can go ahead and you know 97 00:05:17,320 --> 00:05:21,880 Speaker 1: f off hmmm, basically they cut the family cut Yeah, 98 00:05:22,440 --> 00:05:28,200 Speaker 1: their uh, their their sibling and son out for cheating. Honestly, 99 00:05:28,839 --> 00:05:32,680 Speaker 1: I I feel like while you should continue to hold 100 00:05:32,680 --> 00:05:34,839 Speaker 1: them accountable, like don't let them get away with like 101 00:05:35,279 --> 00:05:38,559 Speaker 1: oh no it's okay, I you know whatever, like hold 102 00:05:38,560 --> 00:05:41,720 Speaker 1: them like ferociously accountable, but I don't know if you 103 00:05:42,800 --> 00:05:45,279 Speaker 1: excommunicate them, if anything, they I feel like I would 104 00:05:45,320 --> 00:05:46,200 Speaker 1: encourage him to do that. 105 00:05:46,320 --> 00:05:50,800 Speaker 2: More include and and conclude him more. Sorry that that 106 00:05:50,839 --> 00:05:54,719 Speaker 2: would like if he's now like excommunicated from his family, 107 00:05:55,240 --> 00:05:57,680 Speaker 2: maybe he doesn't like have anyone to hold him accountable 108 00:05:57,720 --> 00:05:58,200 Speaker 2: to not him. 109 00:05:58,240 --> 00:06:01,640 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I actually think op is being the A hole. 110 00:06:02,240 --> 00:06:05,480 Speaker 2: Yeah, I agree? Sorry, yes, I I yeah, I agree. 111 00:06:05,520 --> 00:06:11,360 Speaker 2: I don't know. I'm sure there's some there's some cheating circumstances, 112 00:06:11,360 --> 00:06:14,320 Speaker 2: and I'm sure we've read some, but I think that 113 00:06:14,360 --> 00:06:15,880 Speaker 2: in this case, Yeah, the OP is a hole. 114 00:06:16,440 --> 00:06:18,760 Speaker 1: So, and I just think we made actually a rule 115 00:06:19,240 --> 00:06:25,200 Speaker 1: yesterday where if Sophia was to steal one of my partners, yeah, 116 00:06:25,480 --> 00:06:28,120 Speaker 1: I would not talk to her for every month I 117 00:06:28,160 --> 00:06:30,840 Speaker 1: was in a relationship with that person, right, and then 118 00:06:31,600 --> 00:06:34,600 Speaker 1: times three if she was still in a relationship with 119 00:06:34,600 --> 00:06:36,000 Speaker 1: that person. So if it was like a one night 120 00:06:36,040 --> 00:06:37,880 Speaker 1: stand or something that I wouldn't talk to her for 121 00:06:38,080 --> 00:06:40,719 Speaker 1: a month of her Yeah. So, but I would still 122 00:06:40,800 --> 00:06:44,360 Speaker 1: I would give it space. But I would still have 123 00:06:44,400 --> 00:06:46,160 Speaker 1: a relationship with my sister even if she. 124 00:06:47,760 --> 00:06:50,919 Speaker 2: Cheated on her partner. Yeah. I feel like it's like 125 00:06:51,040 --> 00:06:53,760 Speaker 2: other that kind of doesn't involve you as much, even 126 00:06:53,800 --> 00:06:54,960 Speaker 2: though you should still hold them account. 127 00:06:55,040 --> 00:06:57,360 Speaker 1: Yeah, I think in this, in this scenario, it doesn't 128 00:06:57,400 --> 00:06:58,520 Speaker 1: involve them at all. 129 00:06:58,680 --> 00:06:59,560 Speaker 2: Like, so, I don't know. 130 00:06:59,640 --> 00:07:06,640 Speaker 1: I like, it's not like uh Op's brother stole the girlfriend. 131 00:07:07,360 --> 00:07:12,520 Speaker 2: I agree. I'm not the a A hole A A 132 00:07:15,040 --> 00:07:20,880 Speaker 2: I agree. I'm trying, guys, I'm trying to look at 133 00:07:20,880 --> 00:07:23,800 Speaker 2: the camera. Who is that dombin? I'm trying, But there's 134 00:07:23,880 --> 00:07:26,640 Speaker 2: Sam's face here, there's the camera. The problem when I'm 135 00:07:26,680 --> 00:07:29,600 Speaker 2: looking at the camera, I press the buttons. I have 136 00:07:29,680 --> 00:07:32,880 Speaker 2: no idea, what's happening. I have no idea what's happening 137 00:07:32,920 --> 00:07:37,200 Speaker 2: over here, So like, yeah, anyways, we're doing great. I'm trying. 138 00:07:37,240 --> 00:07:40,640 Speaker 2: I'm trying. Anyways, you're doing great, You're doing great. 139 00:07:42,200 --> 00:07:43,600 Speaker 1: Yeah, I think the A hole, But I think a 140 00:07:43,600 --> 00:07:47,480 Speaker 1: lot of people in the chat are saying, not the 141 00:07:47,520 --> 00:07:50,880 Speaker 1: A hole. With Cindy, someone's partner, like a family member 142 00:07:50,960 --> 00:07:54,200 Speaker 1: or friends. No, No, it's just like he cheated on 143 00:07:54,680 --> 00:07:58,400 Speaker 1: his partner. So Elie have like, Cindy is just a 144 00:07:58,480 --> 00:08:01,280 Speaker 1: random person. Are there kids involved? 145 00:08:02,680 --> 00:08:05,760 Speaker 2: I know No. 146 00:08:06,160 --> 00:08:09,880 Speaker 1: Yeah, Matt was engaged to this woman for the past year, 147 00:08:09,920 --> 00:08:13,080 Speaker 1: so they were engaged. They were engaged for a year, 148 00:08:14,800 --> 00:08:18,760 Speaker 1: and then he cheated, so they not that it excuses him, 149 00:08:18,760 --> 00:08:22,160 Speaker 1: but they weren't even married. So they weren't married, didn't 150 00:08:22,200 --> 00:08:25,160 Speaker 1: have kids. Cindy is not the partner of anyone in 151 00:08:25,200 --> 00:08:25,640 Speaker 1: the family. 152 00:08:27,400 --> 00:08:32,320 Speaker 2: Sam's gold. You can cheat you're not married, how do 153 00:08:32,360 --> 00:08:35,559 Speaker 2: I zoom zoom zoom. 154 00:08:35,720 --> 00:08:40,520 Speaker 1: I was yeah, but yeah, no, there's no children. There's 155 00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:43,480 Speaker 1: no children. I think it's a little bit harsh. I 156 00:08:43,520 --> 00:08:45,400 Speaker 1: think it's too harsh. It's it's yeah. 157 00:08:45,880 --> 00:08:49,920 Speaker 2: If anything, I would stay uh, I would continue the 158 00:08:49,960 --> 00:08:53,760 Speaker 2: line of communication, to continue to hold them accountable. Yeah. 159 00:08:53,840 --> 00:08:56,640 Speaker 1: Yeah, that's actually a good point. It's like right, because 160 00:08:56,800 --> 00:09:00,120 Speaker 1: the more you isolate and excommunicate someone, the more or 161 00:09:00,120 --> 00:09:04,040 Speaker 1: they're gonna feel that they have like no choice. But 162 00:09:04,080 --> 00:09:06,120 Speaker 1: maybe to the continued to behavior like they need like 163 00:09:06,240 --> 00:09:09,160 Speaker 1: good role pressures them. Yeah, it pressures them, like they 164 00:09:09,200 --> 00:09:11,040 Speaker 1: know that they'll get called out again if they they 165 00:09:11,040 --> 00:09:13,640 Speaker 1: exactly do that exactly, and if they don't have anyone 166 00:09:13,679 --> 00:09:15,360 Speaker 1: looking over them, then they might just do it again. 167 00:09:16,679 --> 00:09:18,600 Speaker 1: Would you cut your sister out if she cheated on 168 00:09:18,640 --> 00:09:19,120 Speaker 1: her partner? 169 00:09:19,840 --> 00:09:20,960 Speaker 2: No, I don't think so. 170 00:09:21,120 --> 00:09:24,000 Speaker 1: I wouldn't cut my sister out. I would be like naughty, 171 00:09:24,280 --> 00:09:26,560 Speaker 1: don't do that. Yeah, Like why why are you doing that? 172 00:09:26,559 --> 00:09:29,760 Speaker 2: Why do that? Yeah? If anything, I would like probably 173 00:09:29,800 --> 00:09:32,040 Speaker 2: to like connect with her more to yeah, to figure 174 00:09:32,040 --> 00:09:33,600 Speaker 2: out like what what the heck's like, why are you 175 00:09:33,640 --> 00:09:35,679 Speaker 2: doing that? What's going on? Yeah? 176 00:09:36,160 --> 00:09:40,440 Speaker 1: I feel like I feel like that It basically you 177 00:09:40,480 --> 00:09:43,800 Speaker 1: have a chance to maybe influence them in a good way. Yeah, 178 00:09:44,040 --> 00:09:46,000 Speaker 1: if you stay around longer, which is kind of what 179 00:09:46,040 --> 00:09:50,319 Speaker 1: you've been saying. But there is more to this story, 180 00:09:51,840 --> 00:09:57,679 Speaker 1: Kansas says. Good zooms update, so uh for more context 181 00:09:57,960 --> 00:10:00,480 Speaker 1: for everyone suggesting that Matt found his true love and 182 00:10:00,520 --> 00:10:03,560 Speaker 1: Cindy that's questionable from my perspective. He still claims his 183 00:10:03,640 --> 00:10:06,720 Speaker 1: current relationship with her as of his stake, and I'm 184 00:10:06,720 --> 00:10:09,960 Speaker 1: fairly certain he has said as much to her in 185 00:10:10,040 --> 00:10:11,040 Speaker 1: the past. 186 00:10:11,559 --> 00:10:13,360 Speaker 2: Wow to his ex partner. 187 00:10:13,520 --> 00:10:16,920 Speaker 1: No for Cindy, the person he's early in a relationship with. 188 00:10:17,480 --> 00:10:22,640 Speaker 1: Oh he's saying it's a mistake, that's crazy. 189 00:10:22,320 --> 00:10:25,840 Speaker 2: Then then why are you? Yeah? Okay, because of spite. 190 00:10:25,840 --> 00:10:30,240 Speaker 1: I don't know, to make it feel like he did 191 00:10:30,640 --> 00:10:32,560 Speaker 1: the right thing or like he didn't do it for nothing. 192 00:10:33,480 --> 00:10:34,559 Speaker 2: Guy sucks. 193 00:10:35,040 --> 00:10:39,400 Speaker 1: So update two five hours later, after readings of the 194 00:10:39,440 --> 00:10:43,360 Speaker 1: comments and doing some self reflection, I've decided to reach 195 00:10:43,520 --> 00:10:49,160 Speaker 1: out to my brother. I've decided it's true he's done 196 00:10:49,160 --> 00:10:51,800 Speaker 1: something terrible and there is simply no other way of 197 00:10:51,840 --> 00:10:55,040 Speaker 1: seeing it. However, despite the disappointment, I still do feel 198 00:10:55,040 --> 00:10:57,880 Speaker 1: that I have a responsibility towards him at this low 199 00:10:57,920 --> 00:11:01,320 Speaker 1: point in his life. I agree if Sophia cheated on 200 00:11:01,360 --> 00:11:03,840 Speaker 1: her partner, I would be there for her, right Sophia. 201 00:11:04,640 --> 00:11:07,960 Speaker 2: Sofia is here here changing our eyes. Packs Yeah, like 202 00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:08,920 Speaker 2: a great system, right. 203 00:11:08,840 --> 00:11:18,040 Speaker 1: Sophia, Especially considering that my parents and sister probably won't 204 00:11:18,080 --> 00:11:20,800 Speaker 1: be reaching out to him. I called him the call 205 00:11:20,920 --> 00:11:26,440 Speaker 1: lasted about twenty minutes. That that's four times longer than 206 00:11:26,559 --> 00:11:29,160 Speaker 1: the last calls. The lost calls only lasted five minutes, 207 00:11:29,200 --> 00:11:33,760 Speaker 1: so improvement, improvement. So An offered to meet him in person, 208 00:11:33,800 --> 00:11:37,680 Speaker 1: which did seem to cheer him quite a bit up. I, however, 209 00:11:37,760 --> 00:11:40,920 Speaker 1: made it abundantly clear to him that I have no 210 00:11:41,320 --> 00:11:45,600 Speaker 1: interest in meeting Cindy. At this point, he said something 211 00:11:45,960 --> 00:11:49,360 Speaker 1: that confirmed my suspicions on what he thinks of Cindy, 212 00:11:49,720 --> 00:11:52,560 Speaker 1: but was still pretty surprising to hear him say. He 213 00:11:52,679 --> 00:11:55,800 Speaker 1: told me that he's open to the idea of dumping 214 00:11:55,840 --> 00:11:59,440 Speaker 1: Cindy if it helps build back his relationship with our 215 00:11:59,559 --> 00:12:02,880 Speaker 1: parents and sister. When I asked him if he was 216 00:12:02,880 --> 00:12:06,079 Speaker 1: sure about that, he said that she was small time 217 00:12:06,480 --> 00:12:10,040 Speaker 1: and that she knew the risks of getting into a 218 00:12:10,080 --> 00:12:13,120 Speaker 1: relationship with him to her feelings would be on her. 219 00:12:13,760 --> 00:12:15,760 Speaker 2: Why did he? Why did he? 220 00:12:16,880 --> 00:12:19,880 Speaker 1: It's such a weird way of phrasing it, Like she knew, 221 00:12:19,920 --> 00:12:21,880 Speaker 1: like getting involved with a married man. 222 00:12:21,920 --> 00:12:24,319 Speaker 2: Was going to come at a cost, but like you, 223 00:12:24,320 --> 00:12:27,800 Speaker 2: you're the one that's cheating. Yeah, you're and presumably you 224 00:12:27,880 --> 00:12:31,640 Speaker 2: knew how your family would feel about it. Yeah, I 225 00:12:31,640 --> 00:12:36,840 Speaker 2: I really don't like that response. Fame she was small 226 00:12:36,960 --> 00:12:42,120 Speaker 2: time and that she knew the risk. That feels what 227 00:12:42,120 --> 00:12:46,240 Speaker 2: what is that that? That's like he doesn't unepathetic, he 228 00:12:46,600 --> 00:12:50,680 Speaker 2: doesn't care about her. He literally I feel like he's 229 00:12:50,720 --> 00:12:51,600 Speaker 2: just doing things. 230 00:12:51,840 --> 00:12:56,240 Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm I'm really confused that that that that that 231 00:12:56,280 --> 00:12:57,959 Speaker 1: would be a red flag to me. It feels like 232 00:12:58,000 --> 00:13:00,320 Speaker 1: he still hasn't learned his lesson. It's like he's it's 233 00:13:00,400 --> 00:13:02,959 Speaker 1: he you know what, you know what that is. It's 234 00:13:03,040 --> 00:13:07,960 Speaker 1: him not taking responsibility for his actions. It's like, yeah, 235 00:13:08,120 --> 00:13:13,320 Speaker 1: she knew what she was getting into. Yeah, and like 236 00:13:13,320 --> 00:13:16,960 Speaker 1: like yeah, yeah, it's it feels kind of whack. This 237 00:13:17,000 --> 00:13:19,240 Speaker 1: whole situation sucks and I don't even know what to 238 00:13:19,280 --> 00:13:22,800 Speaker 1: feel about it anymore. So some relevant comments, how is 239 00:13:22,920 --> 00:13:26,760 Speaker 1: Emma doing? And as a reminder, Emma was the perfect 240 00:13:26,840 --> 00:13:32,439 Speaker 1: person that he was engaged to before he decided to cheat. 241 00:13:33,360 --> 00:13:36,640 Speaker 1: Deadly Cat six x' seven he's condescending, Yeah, I think 242 00:13:36,640 --> 00:13:41,200 Speaker 1: that's what it is. He's condescending too, Yeah, and cherish 243 00:13:41,280 --> 00:13:46,400 Speaker 1: high vibes is Wow, He's a giant ale period for sure. 244 00:13:46,559 --> 00:13:49,680 Speaker 1: I Mean he cheated on his on his perfect, perfect 245 00:13:50,000 --> 00:13:55,240 Speaker 1: soon to be wife. So getting back into relevant comments, 246 00:13:55,280 --> 00:13:57,440 Speaker 1: how is Emma doing. I can only hope she's doing 247 00:13:57,440 --> 00:14:00,319 Speaker 1: better now. We have unfortunately kind of lost con with 248 00:14:00,360 --> 00:14:02,760 Speaker 1: her since then. It was very hard for her given 249 00:14:02,800 --> 00:14:06,120 Speaker 1: how much she loved Matt. Another comment, what's the point 250 00:14:06,160 --> 00:14:09,240 Speaker 1: of meeting Cindy when he made just as soon cheat 251 00:14:09,280 --> 00:14:11,640 Speaker 1: on her and what does it say about her character? 252 00:14:12,080 --> 00:14:14,240 Speaker 1: My mom actually mentioned this in the past. She doesn't 253 00:14:14,280 --> 00:14:17,400 Speaker 1: want to get to know a new girl and for 254 00:14:17,559 --> 00:14:20,720 Speaker 1: us to develop a relationship with her only for it 255 00:14:20,760 --> 00:14:22,440 Speaker 1: to end the same way. 256 00:14:23,560 --> 00:14:27,240 Speaker 2: Oh, because she'll go and cheat on Bill, cheat on 257 00:14:27,240 --> 00:14:28,480 Speaker 2: each other maybe, so. 258 00:14:28,480 --> 00:14:32,240 Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly. The Mom's like, I don't I don't need 259 00:14:32,240 --> 00:14:36,360 Speaker 1: to look at this random relationship because I feel like, 260 00:14:37,040 --> 00:14:40,120 Speaker 1: uh like like they're gonna break up in a in 261 00:14:40,160 --> 00:14:41,760 Speaker 1: a second anyway, which. 262 00:14:41,560 --> 00:14:43,560 Speaker 2: That, like, I don't agree, was cutting off the sun. 263 00:14:43,680 --> 00:14:46,240 Speaker 2: I agree with that for not wanting to meet Cindy 264 00:14:46,080 --> 00:14:47,120 Speaker 2: the affair partner. 265 00:14:47,440 --> 00:14:50,280 Speaker 1: Yes, exactly, exactly, so like I don't need to build 266 00:14:50,280 --> 00:14:53,800 Speaker 1: a relationship. This random person ask him how Cindy feels 267 00:14:53,880 --> 00:14:58,840 Speaker 1: about being called the worst mistake of his life facts 268 00:15:01,080 --> 00:15:04,160 Speaker 1: Opie responds sadly, I'm fairly certain he said this to 269 00:15:04,200 --> 00:15:05,760 Speaker 1: her around the time they got together. 270 00:15:06,000 --> 00:15:06,520 Speaker 2: My God. 271 00:15:06,680 --> 00:15:10,160 Speaker 1: During one of his early calls posts the cheating, he 272 00:15:10,280 --> 00:15:13,520 Speaker 1: mentioned how he hadn't argue with Cindy about Emma. He 273 00:15:13,720 --> 00:15:15,920 Speaker 1: hinted to me that he may have said something like 274 00:15:16,000 --> 00:15:18,960 Speaker 1: this to her, but maybe it was like you're my 275 00:15:19,080 --> 00:15:20,920 Speaker 1: dirty little mistake, you know. 276 00:15:21,600 --> 00:15:28,600 Speaker 2: Oh, maybe John's like, you know, gross. 277 00:15:30,520 --> 00:15:33,520 Speaker 1: Then OPI is voted not the A hole, but people 278 00:15:33,560 --> 00:15:37,280 Speaker 1: have varying opinions on going no contact. I don't think. 279 00:15:37,520 --> 00:15:40,480 Speaker 1: I don't think going no contact, at least at this point. 280 00:15:40,600 --> 00:15:42,280 Speaker 2: I think I think OPI is the A hole for 281 00:15:42,320 --> 00:15:43,040 Speaker 2: going no contact. 282 00:15:43,320 --> 00:15:46,080 Speaker 1: I also think OPI is the A hole for going 283 00:15:46,640 --> 00:15:51,880 Speaker 1: no contact. But there is another update two days later. 284 00:15:52,520 --> 00:15:55,280 Speaker 1: So it's been exhausting a few days, but enough has 285 00:15:55,280 --> 00:15:57,360 Speaker 1: happened since my last post to warrn an update. So 286 00:15:57,960 --> 00:16:01,640 Speaker 1: I ended up meeting with my brother to discuss what's 287 00:16:01,680 --> 00:16:04,720 Speaker 1: going on. We live in the same city, so arranging 288 00:16:04,720 --> 00:16:06,960 Speaker 1: a time and a place wasn't too difficult. After some 289 00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:08,960 Speaker 1: small talk and a bit of catching up, we got 290 00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:12,320 Speaker 1: straight into talking about what's been on his mind. He 291 00:16:12,440 --> 00:16:16,320 Speaker 1: reiterated how he made a major mistake and wants our 292 00:16:16,400 --> 00:16:19,480 Speaker 1: parents and sister's acceptance. He also said that it's way 293 00:16:19,520 --> 00:16:21,400 Speaker 1: too late for him to try reaching out to Emma, 294 00:16:21,440 --> 00:16:25,120 Speaker 1: and even if he did, she would never accept. Good 295 00:16:25,280 --> 00:16:29,200 Speaker 1: on you, Emma, you deserve respect. While he admitted responsibility, 296 00:16:29,440 --> 00:16:32,520 Speaker 1: he also blamed Cindy and pointed out that meeting our 297 00:16:32,600 --> 00:16:35,640 Speaker 1: parents was mainly her idea. He mentioned how he didn't 298 00:16:35,640 --> 00:16:39,800 Speaker 1: consider their relationship too serious despite what Cindy thought, and 299 00:16:39,960 --> 00:16:42,800 Speaker 1: was annoyed that she kept pushing him to make things 300 00:16:42,880 --> 00:16:44,119 Speaker 1: more official. 301 00:16:45,320 --> 00:16:49,200 Speaker 2: Likes I retract my previous statement, cut this guy off. 302 00:16:49,240 --> 00:16:53,680 Speaker 1: This guy sucks, sucks, He sucks so much. 303 00:16:54,280 --> 00:16:56,120 Speaker 2: He's literally the worst. Yeah. 304 00:16:56,280 --> 00:16:59,200 Speaker 1: He said that he had turned down requests from her 305 00:16:59,640 --> 00:17:02,640 Speaker 1: for him him to meet her family and friends, and 306 00:17:02,800 --> 00:17:06,640 Speaker 1: that so far she's only met handful of his friends. 307 00:17:07,040 --> 00:17:08,960 Speaker 1: After saying all this, he told me that none of 308 00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:11,720 Speaker 1: it mattered anyway, since he broke up with her since 309 00:17:11,760 --> 00:17:13,440 Speaker 1: I last spoke with him. 310 00:17:13,720 --> 00:17:14,399 Speaker 2: He said that he. 311 00:17:14,400 --> 00:17:18,080 Speaker 1: Wants a fresh start and thinks Cindy will stifle that. 312 00:17:18,640 --> 00:17:21,240 Speaker 1: So basically he's like, he's cutting him off, cutting her 313 00:17:21,320 --> 00:17:24,200 Speaker 1: off so he can have a relationship with his family. 314 00:17:24,240 --> 00:17:29,119 Speaker 2: Again. Uh, yes, you should you should have I mean, 315 00:17:29,160 --> 00:17:31,159 Speaker 2: you should have cut off your relationship with Cindy a 316 00:17:31,200 --> 00:17:38,679 Speaker 2: while ago, and yeah, he's still not He still sucks. 317 00:17:38,800 --> 00:17:39,520 Speaker 2: He still sucks. 318 00:17:39,560 --> 00:17:43,000 Speaker 1: That doesn't deserve does he Just do you think that 319 00:17:43,280 --> 00:17:47,240 Speaker 1: deserves a relationship with the sister and parents? 320 00:17:47,760 --> 00:17:51,879 Speaker 2: Yeah? I think he sucks so much. Like I literally 321 00:17:51,920 --> 00:17:56,240 Speaker 2: hate him like family. If that was my sibling, I 322 00:17:56,240 --> 00:18:00,639 Speaker 2: would be like, you are so stupid and like don't 323 00:18:00,680 --> 00:18:04,080 Speaker 2: care about other people's emotions. It is infuriating, But I 324 00:18:04,080 --> 00:18:07,600 Speaker 2: would probably still have a relationship to a degree to 325 00:18:07,640 --> 00:18:09,399 Speaker 2: be able to stay and communicate that. 326 00:18:09,520 --> 00:18:13,520 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, to say a stuper hue, Yeah, exactly, that's 327 00:18:13,560 --> 00:18:14,520 Speaker 1: what you gotta need. 328 00:18:14,640 --> 00:18:18,400 Speaker 2: I think. So he needs someone hold him accountable. Yeah. 329 00:18:18,600 --> 00:18:21,000 Speaker 1: He mentioned how she was crying and didn't want their 330 00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:24,080 Speaker 1: relationship to end, but he remained firm. What made me 331 00:18:24,080 --> 00:18:26,359 Speaker 1: feel bad for her was when he mentioned how she 332 00:18:26,520 --> 00:18:29,760 Speaker 1: has her thesis defense in a few weeks, but Matt 333 00:18:29,840 --> 00:18:32,719 Speaker 1: said she didn't matter to him, as once again he 334 00:18:32,800 --> 00:18:34,360 Speaker 1: reiterated she. 335 00:18:34,400 --> 00:18:37,080 Speaker 2: Knew the risks. I literally hate this man. 336 00:18:37,440 --> 00:18:40,399 Speaker 1: He mentioned how Cindy had been texting him asking why 337 00:18:40,440 --> 00:18:43,160 Speaker 1: he's being so mean to her and why he ended 338 00:18:43,200 --> 00:18:46,959 Speaker 1: things abruptly. He texted her back some pretty awful things, 339 00:18:47,240 --> 00:18:50,040 Speaker 1: and I don't want to repeat them. That did get 340 00:18:50,119 --> 00:18:52,600 Speaker 1: her to stop trying to contact him. 341 00:18:53,280 --> 00:18:58,120 Speaker 2: Dang like that he's doing. Even when he almost does 342 00:18:58,160 --> 00:19:01,840 Speaker 2: something right, he does it wrong. Yeah, it's just I mean, 343 00:19:02,560 --> 00:19:05,840 Speaker 2: he's just kind of a butt. H He's just kind 344 00:19:05,880 --> 00:19:06,480 Speaker 2: of a butt. 345 00:19:06,960 --> 00:19:10,400 Speaker 1: But he's a butt, and he's your family, and you'll 346 00:19:10,480 --> 00:19:11,920 Speaker 1: never give up on family. 347 00:19:12,320 --> 00:19:15,159 Speaker 2: Sometimes you do, sometimes you give a fun family. 348 00:19:15,320 --> 00:19:18,439 Speaker 1: The conversation ended with Matt requesting that I help him 349 00:19:18,440 --> 00:19:20,760 Speaker 1: build up his relationship with our parents and sister. Again, 350 00:19:21,240 --> 00:19:23,400 Speaker 1: I didn't want to make any promises and only told 351 00:19:23,480 --> 00:19:27,120 Speaker 1: him that I would do what I can. Maybe our 352 00:19:27,240 --> 00:19:30,360 Speaker 1: parents might be convinced to meet him meet with him 353 00:19:30,400 --> 00:19:33,280 Speaker 1: down the line, but I'm not too sure about our sister. 354 00:19:33,600 --> 00:19:37,679 Speaker 1: She told me that her entire image of him was shattered, 355 00:19:38,119 --> 00:19:40,639 Speaker 1: that it will take a lot of time for her 356 00:19:41,080 --> 00:19:45,120 Speaker 1: to accept that. And we do have some relevant comments before 357 00:19:45,119 --> 00:19:50,359 Speaker 1: we jump into any anything. But someone says your brother 358 00:19:50,400 --> 00:19:53,439 Speaker 1: is an a hole and needs therapy. That opie response, 359 00:19:53,480 --> 00:19:55,600 Speaker 1: I don't think he needs therapy, per say, not that 360 00:19:55,640 --> 00:19:57,359 Speaker 1: he did ever go. I think he was just being 361 00:19:57,400 --> 00:20:00,760 Speaker 1: needlessly mean to Cindy. The message is he sent her 362 00:20:01,080 --> 00:20:05,760 Speaker 1: We're just awful and then finally someone says, he seems 363 00:20:05,800 --> 00:20:07,400 Speaker 1: like he has a lot of issues that he will 364 00:20:07,400 --> 00:20:11,879 Speaker 1: continue to keep bringing into other relationships, which is maybe 365 00:20:11,920 --> 00:20:14,639 Speaker 1: a reason that people are saying no contact. Because he's like, 366 00:20:14,720 --> 00:20:17,120 Speaker 1: if he's this much of an a hole to Cindy 367 00:20:17,560 --> 00:20:20,600 Speaker 1: and his perfect partner, Emma, what is he going to 368 00:20:20,680 --> 00:20:25,920 Speaker 1: do in his relationship with his family? And he responds, 369 00:20:25,960 --> 00:20:28,000 Speaker 1: I hope not. He kept reiterating that he needs a 370 00:20:28,000 --> 00:20:31,240 Speaker 1: fresh start and he'll do better next time, and that's 371 00:20:31,240 --> 00:20:34,000 Speaker 1: where this story ends. So, John, what do you think 372 00:20:34,080 --> 00:20:36,960 Speaker 1: do you think he do you think he deserves another 373 00:20:37,040 --> 00:20:37,879 Speaker 1: chance with the family? 374 00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:43,160 Speaker 2: He sucks so much, so much, he definitely needs therapy, 375 00:20:43,400 --> 00:20:50,000 Speaker 2: that is for sure. Yeah, I think it could. Literally 376 00:20:50,040 --> 00:20:54,840 Speaker 2: the only communication could be just keeping him accountable and 377 00:20:54,880 --> 00:20:58,440 Speaker 2: being like, like anytime he's like, oh hey, like let's 378 00:20:58,440 --> 00:21:02,400 Speaker 2: get together Dad, it's like, you know, I love you, 379 00:21:02,560 --> 00:21:07,160 Speaker 2: but like, I, how are you doing? What's new? Yeah? 380 00:21:07,200 --> 00:21:10,760 Speaker 2: Tell me the things you've been telling Cindy recently, Like 381 00:21:11,160 --> 00:21:12,280 Speaker 2: some some I don't know. 382 00:21:12,560 --> 00:21:14,600 Speaker 1: I would I would probably I would probably say like 383 00:21:14,600 --> 00:21:16,640 Speaker 1: why are you being so mean to Cindy? Like, yes, 384 00:21:16,720 --> 00:21:19,520 Speaker 1: you said you should apologize for that. Like I I like, 385 00:21:19,560 --> 00:21:22,080 Speaker 1: maybe it's like, Hey, he doesn't know how to not 386 00:21:22,080 --> 00:21:24,640 Speaker 1: be an a hole, so let me let me tell 387 00:21:24,680 --> 00:21:26,399 Speaker 1: him what he needs to do to stop being an 388 00:21:26,440 --> 00:21:29,160 Speaker 1: a hole and earn his place in my life. 389 00:21:29,240 --> 00:21:31,520 Speaker 2: Well, let me match you with this, right, so let's 390 00:21:31,520 --> 00:21:35,719 Speaker 2: say match me daddy. Uh. You keep doing this and 391 00:21:35,800 --> 00:21:40,400 Speaker 2: you basically become his like like it's like the pick coach. Yeah, 392 00:21:40,600 --> 00:21:42,760 Speaker 2: you know, like in Pixar where they have like the emotions. 393 00:21:43,080 --> 00:21:46,760 Speaker 2: You are literally his empathy like emotional character. So like 394 00:21:47,240 --> 00:21:49,679 Speaker 2: he's just like, what do I do with this situation? Yes, 395 00:21:49,720 --> 00:21:51,919 Speaker 2: and then you're like, oh my, like I really have 396 00:21:52,000 --> 00:21:58,480 Speaker 2: to tell and instruct this is like like it's with 397 00:21:58,560 --> 00:22:04,080 Speaker 2: gratitude you like, oh, let me give you. It's weakened 398 00:22:04,119 --> 00:22:09,680 Speaker 2: that Bernie empathy. Yeah. I think. I think. 399 00:22:10,480 --> 00:22:13,000 Speaker 1: I think if I mean, luckily I don't have a 400 00:22:13,480 --> 00:22:17,920 Speaker 1: massive a hole of a sister and she's pretty great, 401 00:22:17,960 --> 00:22:23,320 Speaker 1: do you No, she's but like I am, if she 402 00:22:23,520 --> 00:22:27,160 Speaker 1: like had a brain injury and became an a hole, 403 00:22:28,080 --> 00:22:31,119 Speaker 1: I would I think I and and wasn't actively an 404 00:22:31,160 --> 00:22:32,720 Speaker 1: a hole to me to the point where I had 405 00:22:32,720 --> 00:22:34,119 Speaker 1: to cut her out, and it was just an a 406 00:22:34,200 --> 00:22:38,000 Speaker 1: hole to like her romantic partners. I would still keep 407 00:22:38,000 --> 00:22:40,360 Speaker 1: her in my life to try to be that good influence, 408 00:22:40,440 --> 00:22:43,240 Speaker 1: like we were saying earlier, and maybe be her empathy 409 00:22:43,600 --> 00:22:46,879 Speaker 1: coach until she got back on the straight and narrow. 410 00:22:47,400 --> 00:22:49,919 Speaker 2: Yeah, I guess there's a difference between empathy coach and 411 00:22:50,240 --> 00:22:55,919 Speaker 2: literal like empathy brain puppeteer puppeteer. Yeah, I don't know. 412 00:22:55,960 --> 00:22:57,080 Speaker 2: I just I can't. 413 00:22:57,240 --> 00:23:00,399 Speaker 1: I mean, I'm I just can't imagine cutting out my sister. 414 00:23:00,640 --> 00:23:03,199 Speaker 1: I think it's so hard to imagine. I just I 415 00:23:03,320 --> 00:23:06,000 Speaker 1: just like and we both have great relationships with our siblings, 416 00:23:06,000 --> 00:23:10,000 Speaker 1: so it's like it's it's it's really hard to be like, like, 417 00:23:10,080 --> 00:23:14,040 Speaker 1: I can't, Like I think I would. I still even 418 00:23:14,040 --> 00:23:17,399 Speaker 1: if my sister killed someone, I would encourage her to 419 00:23:17,440 --> 00:23:20,200 Speaker 1: go to to confess. 420 00:23:20,400 --> 00:23:23,800 Speaker 2: But I don't I wouldn't cut her out. Yeah, like 421 00:23:23,920 --> 00:23:30,440 Speaker 2: I feel, uh, children, Yeah, that wasn't That was neither 422 00:23:30,600 --> 00:23:36,880 Speaker 2: a agreement nor disagreement. But I think siblings and children 423 00:23:36,920 --> 00:23:41,679 Speaker 2: are hard. Yeah. Have you seen Dexter? I haven't, but 424 00:23:41,720 --> 00:23:45,320 Speaker 2: I know the premise hills. 425 00:23:45,440 --> 00:23:47,359 Speaker 1: Yeah, but his dad is like, yeah, I know you 426 00:23:47,440 --> 00:23:49,919 Speaker 1: have these urges to kill, but you got to do 427 00:23:50,000 --> 00:23:53,000 Speaker 1: it in a way that is healthy and basically like 428 00:23:53,080 --> 00:23:58,000 Speaker 1: teaches his son to kill bad people, and so he's like, 429 00:23:58,280 --> 00:24:01,320 Speaker 1: I know you have this urge to kill in your sociopath, 430 00:24:01,359 --> 00:24:04,080 Speaker 1: but but i'm your and I'm here for you. 431 00:24:04,160 --> 00:24:06,600 Speaker 2: I'm on board. I'm on board for that because now 432 00:24:07,000 --> 00:24:10,960 Speaker 2: because now you're not actually you are doing it to 433 00:24:11,040 --> 00:24:14,760 Speaker 2: the people that are causing the harm, therefore reducing the harm, 434 00:24:15,200 --> 00:24:18,320 Speaker 2: therefore doing good. 435 00:24:18,720 --> 00:24:22,240 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I think I agree. 436 00:24:22,320 --> 00:24:23,680 Speaker 2: I'm down for that. Matt. 437 00:24:23,720 --> 00:24:25,800 Speaker 1: Matt could have a brain injury at birth. You know, 438 00:24:26,280 --> 00:24:28,000 Speaker 1: no one he's a sociopath. 439 00:24:28,720 --> 00:24:30,720 Speaker 2: Yeah, he's He's an idiot. That's idiot. 440 00:24:30,880 --> 00:24:35,600 Speaker 1: Anyway, Jelly says, oh Sam would use her to his 441 00:24:35,720 --> 00:24:44,320 Speaker 1: advantage if she was murderous. The what what are you about? 442 00:24:44,400 --> 00:24:47,439 Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, dude, the comments have been coming for 443 00:24:47,560 --> 00:24:48,040 Speaker 1: me lately.