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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Annie and Samantha. I welcome to stephone

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Speaker 1: ever told you production of I Heart Radio, And welcome

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Speaker 1: to another sub sub segment of our watch of Sex

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Speaker 1: in the City. And we're already talking about how long

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Speaker 1: this is going to take. Yeah, I hope if we

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Speaker 1: ever do leave the show, someone takes the mental up

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Speaker 1: and continue with it because it needs to be finished.

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Speaker 1: But we are on episode four. I hope you had

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Speaker 1: the chance to. If you've not watched all of Sex

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Speaker 1: in City yet, you should watch it first. I get

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Speaker 1: I don't know, maybe you don't have to, yeah or

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Speaker 1: what I mean, but it's like, just just like that,

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Speaker 1: that is out and just like that is out right now,

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Speaker 1: and we have already done that episode, so I hope

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Speaker 1: you have enjoyed that as well. And there is an

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Speaker 1: accompaniment podcast through my Heart that is happening with and

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Speaker 1: just like that, but we are throwing it all the

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Speaker 1: way back to the original first season at this point

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Speaker 1: in time of Sex in the City. And and I

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Speaker 1: if you want to do a recap about first three episodes, okay,

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Speaker 1: because just a reminder, this is my first time um

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Speaker 1: watching these. It's been very interesting so far. We've had

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Speaker 1: conversations around women, single women versus married women. You've had

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Speaker 1: discussions around like body, liking your body or not liking

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Speaker 1: your body, and then loving like a man, that is,

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Speaker 1: to just have sex and be emotionless, I guess, and

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Speaker 1: not worrying about no emotions, no emotion, no connection, no connections,

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Speaker 1: and then models being an issue in general. Yes, very good,

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Speaker 1: and I guess we should go ahead and put this out.

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Speaker 1: We know what's going on in the world of sex

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Speaker 1: in the City and just like that, when it comes

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Speaker 1: to the allegations towards Chrisnoth, and are very glad to

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Speaker 1: see that the women, the main women of sex in

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Speaker 1: the City and just like that have issued a statement

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Speaker 1: and UM support of the women who have come forward,

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Speaker 1: as are we. This definitely changes how we see a

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Speaker 1: lot of this and I'm very sad by that. At

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Speaker 1: the same time, I'm very glad that the women have

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Speaker 1: found the courage to do what they needed to do

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Speaker 1: and we support them as well. We will definitely keep

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Speaker 1: a watch as to what that looks like UM in

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Speaker 1: the future. Of course, Yes, this is all just allegations

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Speaker 1: at this point in time, but we are very big

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Speaker 1: supporters of believing women and that's where we will leave that. So, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I don't know about you any but for me, we're

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Speaker 1: not something like this happens, which we did have a

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Speaker 1: conversation the other day. It was like why why are men?

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Speaker 1: Just in general, why are men um? And this is

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Speaker 1: kind of one of those moments of like, you know,

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Speaker 1: you see something and it changes your perspective forever. And

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Speaker 1: there are certain shows, movies, things that I can't watch

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Speaker 1: an more because of things like that, And so we

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Speaker 1: understand if you're like, yeah, this kills all of that

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Speaker 1: as well, there's a lot of process and yeah, just why,

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Speaker 1: just why. It's exhausting. It is really exhausting and very unfortunate,

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Speaker 1: right and we're not going to ignore it, which is

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Speaker 1: why we wanted to go ahead and address that. But

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Speaker 1: we are continuing on at this point in time. He's

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Speaker 1: not a big character right now, so we've already been

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Speaker 1: introduced to Skipper, who is not He's a he's a

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Speaker 1: kind of a main guy for the first couple of seasons,

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Speaker 1: I think, or at least the first season for sure,

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Speaker 1: but after that he does kind of fade away. We're

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Speaker 1: about to see him again. Um, but are you ready

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Speaker 1: for what is any's prediction. Everyone is ready, everyone for me.

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Speaker 1: So the title of this episode is called Valley of

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Speaker 1: the Twenties something. Guys, what do you think that is? Ah?

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Speaker 1: I think that it is a like twenty year old

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Speaker 1: men who young twenty year old men whom are kind

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Speaker 1: of out of I don't know if out of the

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Speaker 1: league is the right word, but they're like immaturely flirting

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Speaker 1: with older women and I don't know, maybe going to

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Speaker 1: places where twenty year old dudes have sort of overtaken it. Okay, okay,

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Speaker 1: we'll see. We'll see. Chris not is in this one.

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Speaker 1: I do remember this, okay, so he is back in here,

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Speaker 1: so we'll see. There's no I don't think there's any

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Speaker 1: introductions to anyone new er or a staple. So I

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Speaker 1: think this is This is fine. Also, we are sipping

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Speaker 1: because it is a happy hour. I made another round

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Speaker 1: of Cosmos and they are delicious. Are you ready? I'm ready?

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Speaker 1: Here we go. Okay, we'll see what you got right,

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Speaker 1: I don't know. All right, it's official, he's late. Who

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Speaker 1: Mr Big? Who else? Carrie? That's great? Is it? Date?

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Speaker 1: So he called it a thing? He said, meet me

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Speaker 1: maybe for a drinking she's really she's put on the fur,

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Speaker 1: she's really showing up for this date, right, this non date.

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Speaker 1: You know what, I think we've all been there. You

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Speaker 1: don't want to call it a date, so you call

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Speaker 1: it a meet up and get together, drink coffee, you know,

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Speaker 1: but it's not a date because but that does seem

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Speaker 1: outdated a little bit, that word. Maybe I'm just outdated dates. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: twenty something guys always know the really important be people,

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Speaker 1: bus points, something's know a lot of people and things

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Speaker 1: they're experimenting with a younger group. Oh so my partner

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Speaker 1: is five years younger than me. M. I think that's right,

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Speaker 1: and so he is coming towards his late third later

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Speaker 1: thirties and I am early forties. But it's something that

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Speaker 1: I had to really adjust to. It was like four

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Speaker 1: or five year difference, and as you know, young as

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Speaker 1: I feel it's so weird, right right, So going that significant,

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Speaker 1: I feel like this whole thing I will. And also

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Speaker 1: I think there's a personally and I think for a

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Speaker 1: lot of people. If I look back when I was twenty, no,

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Speaker 1: I did not know a thing. I did not know

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Speaker 1: a damn thing. Everybody in here is in their twenties

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Speaker 1: and so are we pretend to be twenties twenties? I

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Speaker 1: once accidentally, I was pretty drunk and I lied about

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Speaker 1: my age, And then later I was like, why did

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Speaker 1: I lie? From my age was older or younger, younger

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Speaker 1: but not by much. But it was just like why

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Speaker 1: did I? Yeah? I mean, if I was to go

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Speaker 1: back on the dating side, I wonder because I think,

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Speaker 1: have we hit the group where? Not because I don't

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Speaker 1: want to date my age, But when I was on

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Speaker 1: the app in being mid thirties, I was getting hit

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Speaker 1: on by guys from what one is now my age,

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Speaker 1: and their limit was like whenever I was thirty five,

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Speaker 1: that was the top of the limit, And so I wondered,

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Speaker 1: I was like, is it even worth it? Yeah, I'm

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Speaker 1: seeing each other for a couple of weeks. I really

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Speaker 1: like you. Tomorrow night after dinner, I want us to

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Speaker 1: have anal salt, so the screens together, all of the

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Speaker 1: women to have this discussion to do or not to

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Speaker 1: do anal Okay, it's all about control. It goes up there.

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Speaker 1: There's going to be a shifting this conversation too. Is

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Speaker 1: it about power? I guess when I have this conversation

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Speaker 1: with my friend. I was more like, it sounds like

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Speaker 1: you're just doing it because you think he's going to

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Speaker 1: leave you if you don't know, And I don't think

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Speaker 1: that's a healthy space. Yeah, the regular way, Yes, please.

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Speaker 1: As awkward as that is, that is at least a

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Speaker 1: healthy conversation. He tells her what he wants, she doesn't

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Speaker 1: want it, he accepts it and moves it on. In

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Speaker 1: the story, that's how it's done. Decisions, decisions, talking it through,

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Speaker 1: not being shamed, and what you like, right or what

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Speaker 1: you don't like and what you don't like. That is

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Speaker 1: healthy communication. Did they make it? No, because we never

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Speaker 1: see him again after this, that's still healthy community. All right,

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Speaker 1: what's my score? What do I get? Twenty somethings were there,

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Speaker 1: so I guess you get like I feel like I get. Okay,

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Speaker 1: i'll give you thirty. There was flirting with twenty year olds,

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Speaker 1: so i'll get you were going to places where they

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Speaker 1: were a bunch of twenty year olds. Okay, I'll give

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Speaker 1: you fifty because you're right, there was flirting. There were

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Speaker 1: twenty year olds involved, but it was more of an

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Speaker 1: experiment and it it's kind of funny to be on

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Speaker 1: all the different episodes that we watch. It is like

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Speaker 1: a very tale tale like experimentation of dating, and we've

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Speaker 1: all been there. That's one of the things I did

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Speaker 1: love about. I hate dating. I get anxious. I hate it.

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Speaker 1: My first actual online date, I was so freaked out.

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Speaker 1: I had my roommate and her boyfriend follow us. They

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Speaker 1: got seated right behind us, which is hilarious. Um, it

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Speaker 1: wasn't a good date. We moved on, but like it

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Speaker 1: became like a running story and I started dating more

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Speaker 1: and more. It became interesting because at least I had

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Speaker 1: the good stories to come away from it, which it's

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Speaker 1: kind of like this experiment of who are you dating?

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Speaker 1: Where did they come from? Type of thing? Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: and the kind of the puzzle of the whole thing.

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Speaker 1: And I think that is a very relatable experience of

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Speaker 1: going back to those assumptions that you have, that you

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Speaker 1: make and what you think a thing is versus what

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Speaker 1: the other person thinks the thing is. And that's why

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Speaker 1: communication is important, but also the other person being willing

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Speaker 1: to hear you. I think the nineties to early two

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Speaker 1: thousand's maybe it is still happening, and I don't understand

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Speaker 1: it because I'm not dating anymore as per se. But

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Speaker 1: it is like a power play of you know what,

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Speaker 1: I know what happens, because yeah, even before this relationship

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Speaker 1: has been a bit a while, like I would not

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Speaker 1: text unless he texted first. I would make sure that

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Speaker 1: it was very cool and not needy trying to be

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Speaker 1: playing it cool even though I'm freaking out. So if

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Speaker 1: I'm texting him, y'all went this far. If I was

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Speaker 1: texting him, i met him on the dating site and

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Speaker 1: he didn't respond in a certain amount of time, I

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Speaker 1: would go and see if he had been online, and

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Speaker 1: some of them would show the last time they were online.

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Speaker 1: I'm like you sort of a you son of a

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Speaker 1: all the bad things, and it was a power play. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I mean that's I feel like I was never very

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Speaker 1: healthy in my dating life, and I think maybe now

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Speaker 1: I've got more tools than I could be better. But

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Speaker 1: it was always about power. It was always about who

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Speaker 1: is holding the cards here, who is the one that

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Speaker 1: is more ready to leave and who's going to be

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Speaker 1: okay with that? And that's not a great way to

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Speaker 1: be but it to me it makes sense, like you're

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Speaker 1: kind of always thinking about the calculating like, okay, it

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Speaker 1: is calculation like who it looks more needy, who looks

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Speaker 1: like they have the power? Who left it on red? Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: those Texas And yes, well, And I think that's interesting

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Speaker 1: about like when it comes to women and how we've

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Speaker 1: been socialized. Of the conversation Charlotte had of if I

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Speaker 1: don't do this, you're never going to marry me, because

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Speaker 1: it means I'm basically the slut, I would say, versus

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Speaker 1: if I also don't do it, then I'm letting you down,

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Speaker 1: and you feel like I owe this to you, And

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Speaker 1: I feel like a lot of a lot of us

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Speaker 1: in a lot of women feel that way, um, where

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Speaker 1: you're always kind of like balancing that line of I

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Speaker 1: have to satisfy this dude in this very head row relationship,

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Speaker 1: but also I can't be two forward with what I

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Speaker 1: want or two I can't give in also in quotes

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Speaker 1: of like having anal sex because then he'll be done

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Speaker 1: with me, right, I mean, And that's definitely a big

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Speaker 1: conversation we've constantly had, and we still have the idea

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Speaker 1: that we owe them something and we owe them what

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Speaker 1: they want to the full thing, as well as the

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Speaker 1: fact that you know the same lady in the streets breaking,

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Speaker 1: the streaking, the cheese lady in the streets type of thing.

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Speaker 1: It's that conversation of like being a certain type of

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Speaker 1: way and only one way, and it's all about you

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Speaker 1: and how we make you look or how we make

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Speaker 1: you feel and want to say. We talk about in

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Speaker 1: a heteronormative idea of women versus men, But that is

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Speaker 1: that big conversation and I do really like that that

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Speaker 1: she was able to say no, I don't like this,

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Speaker 1: And of course her character seems a lot more conservative

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Speaker 1: compared to but it's a really great conversation to have

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Speaker 1: and try to see where she was able to say no.

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Speaker 1: She was able to talk to all of our friends

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Speaker 1: with very different thoughts and processing and then being able

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Speaker 1: to say no, I don't like it, and him accepting it. Again,

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Speaker 1: I'm like, that's nice. Is that always reality? No, But

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Speaker 1: I'm glad to see it like that that she didn't

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Speaker 1: just give in me too. I think that's I wish

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Speaker 1: I had had the bill reality to do that, because

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Speaker 1: I would get so in my head about I have

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Speaker 1: to do it this way or this way. But it

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Speaker 1: was never about what I wanted to write, always about

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Speaker 1: what the other person wanted, and I wish I'd had

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Speaker 1: at least had the conversation, even if the answer, which

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Speaker 1: so often it was for me, was I don't know right, um,

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Speaker 1: but I'm not comfortable with it right now. And I

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Speaker 1: you know, we've talked about this before. I was raised

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Speaker 1: very conservatively, so there are a lot of things where

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Speaker 1: I was like, even if I'm okay with this, I'm like,

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Speaker 1: knee jerk, not okay, right, agreed. I mean, I've definitely

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Speaker 1: had the figuring out what a blowjob was was hilarious,

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Speaker 1: and me asking my mom about it and the fact

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Speaker 1: that my mom was very straightforward and their moment, like

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Speaker 1: I kind of didn't want to know this from my

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Speaker 1: mother because that makes me think, oh, no, I didn't

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Speaker 1: need to know about this about my parents. But but

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Speaker 1: the fact of about it, she's like, you know, she's

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Speaker 1: kind of the same way as we talk about sex

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Speaker 1: in the old school conservative ideas about loving someone and

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Speaker 1: enjoying something because you love that person conversation, and I

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Speaker 1: was like, uh, that's an interesting take, yeah, because for

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Speaker 1: so long it's so dirty and it's all about men

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Speaker 1: having power over women or men having power over someone else, um,

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Speaker 1: in general, So it felt very nice to see my

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Speaker 1: that perspective and being able to ask her and she

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Speaker 1: didn't completely freak out. Yeah, it was was a good conversation.

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Speaker 1: But in my head, it's definitely one of those things

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Speaker 1: like why would we do this? I don't understand this,

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Speaker 1: what is this? And it's a joke, and it's a

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Speaker 1: joke A gets women. That's what it felt like for

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Speaker 1: so long. Yeah, and we talked about that. I was

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Speaker 1: the same way. And this is not to say because

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Speaker 1: I've had friends who said I feel very powerful being

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Speaker 1: able to get that type of pleasure, But to me,

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Speaker 1: I always thought it was degrading. And I think some

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Speaker 1: of the things like we saw on TV, I would

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Speaker 1: see running jokes if like it must have been his birthday,

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Speaker 1: or basically implying it's definitely not about her. It's something

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Speaker 1: that is all about the dude's pleasure and kind of

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Speaker 1: a transactional thing, which we've also been talking about. All right,

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Speaker 1: But I do know people who and I think that's good,

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Speaker 1: Like if it's healthy and you know why you want

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Speaker 1: it and you're cool with it, and you have this

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Speaker 1: kind of conversation about it, and yeah, go for it.

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Speaker 1: I mean to be honest for me as well, like

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Speaker 1: not to get too personal, like I do enjoy things

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Speaker 1: like knowing that making that's just making someone happy, but

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Speaker 1: it feels sexy to me too, and that's that's great.

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Speaker 1: But like, of course again that a change on a

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Speaker 1: flip with who your partner is. And that's the conversation too, yes,

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Speaker 1: and and like why you're doing it and others like

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Speaker 1: asking and it's all these questions that they were having

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Speaker 1: in this of always like what it is, trying to

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Speaker 1: figure out what's behind, do you feel comfortable? Do you

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Speaker 1: want to do it? And the good having good like

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Speaker 1: aspects kind of like the listener has sent us when

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Speaker 1: we did the original uh Sex in the City episode.

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Speaker 1: She was like, you know, I feel like they all

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Speaker 1: represent one person, but different aspects of your personality. I

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Speaker 1: was like, yeah, absolutely, you're correct. I feel like they

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Speaker 1: do like have a thing that like there's a small

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Speaker 1: bit of each of them in one person typically yes,

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Speaker 1: typically all right, So what did you think about this episode?

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Speaker 1: I enjoyed it. I think there was a lot of

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Speaker 1: Obviously it stirred up some conversation with us. I was

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Speaker 1: able to relate in things that I've talked about with

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Speaker 1: my friends. I enjoyed as always the nineties, hardcore nineties,

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Speaker 1: Timothy Oliphant, some are too. Yeah, I've never noticed that ever.

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Speaker 1: I feel like the nerd. Okay, every time I love it. Yes, Well,

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Speaker 1: I'm glad you enjoyed it. Yeah, and y'all I enjoyed it,

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Speaker 1: and I hope you guys can join us again and

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Speaker 1: that you've enjoyed it as well, because we're going to

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Speaker 1: keep on going. Yes, this is the Sminty Gauntlet, only

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Speaker 1: nine episodes left in a couple of movies. Yes, and

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Speaker 1: we hope that you will join us along the way. Listeners,

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Speaker 1: and as always, we would love to hear your thoughts

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Speaker 1: about any and everything we're talking about. You can email

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Speaker 1: us at Stephanie mom Stuff at I hurt media dot com.

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Speaker 1: You can find us on Twitter at mom Stuff podcast

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Speaker 1: or on Instagram at stuff I Never Told you. Thanks.

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Speaker 1: It's always to our super producer, Christina super super Oh. Yes,

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Speaker 1: and thanks to you for listening. Stuff wonder told the production.

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Speaker 1: But I Hurt Radio for more podcast When I Hurt

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Speaker 1: Radio is the I Heart Radio app. I'm a podcast

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Speaker 1: or wherever you listen to your favorite shows