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Speaker 1: Hi. I'm Laura Vanderkamp. I'm a mother of five, an author, journalist,

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Speaker 1: and speaker.

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Speaker 2: And I'm Sarah hart Unger, a mother of three, practicing physician, writer,

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Speaker 2: and course creator. We are two working parents who love

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Speaker 2: our careers and our families.

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Speaker 1: Welcome to best of both worlds. Here we talk about

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Speaker 1: how real women manage work, family, and time for fun.

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Speaker 1: From figuring out childcare to mapping out long term career goals.

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Speaker 1: We want you to get the most out of life.

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Speaker 1: Welcome to best of both worlds. This is Laura. In

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Speaker 1: this episode, we're going to be talking about media in general,

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Speaker 1: how we curate our media consumption, not just social media.

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Speaker 1: I know we've talked about social media a lot, but

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Speaker 1: all the other kinds of media out there. How we

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Speaker 1: can make this a more intentional part of our lives.

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Speaker 1: And I know this is something that Sarah has been

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Speaker 1: very passionate about. So Sarah, maybe you could share with

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Speaker 1: our listeners what you're thinking is on this and why

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Speaker 1: media curation is a good part of a busy life.

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Speaker 2: Yes, full disclosure, this episode is is about my current obsession,

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Speaker 2: not necessarily anyone else's. But I still think media and

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Speaker 2: our use of time around. Media does impact us all

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Speaker 2: on a daily basis, So I think it's where it's

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Speaker 2: spending some time diving into and thinking about. And by

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Speaker 2: the way, I'm not talking about social media. We will

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Speaker 2: talk about social media because social media is a form

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Speaker 2: of media, so it's certainly included, and it is a

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Speaker 2: form that for some people it crowds out other things

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Speaker 2: they want to do media wise or otherwise. But that

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Speaker 2: this is not a social media themed episode. I'm more

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Speaker 2: talking about like what do you watch, what do you read,

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Speaker 2: what do you listen to? What do you choose to

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Speaker 2: consume in your downtime? And is there a lot of

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Speaker 2: intentionality there? Is it just whatever's in front of your face?

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Speaker 2: Where is the time actually going? Are you getting the

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Speaker 2: most enjoyment out of your media consumption as you can?

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Speaker 2: And I don't remember where I first started thinking about this,

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Speaker 2: but once I did, it just became something I'm very

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Speaker 2: interested in, to the point where I have started tracking

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Speaker 2: my media. So you guys know, I have a daily planner.

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Speaker 2: I love having like a little page for every single

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Speaker 2: day in my home Bunichi cousin where I write down

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Speaker 2: my schedule kind of my task for the day, different metrics.

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Speaker 2: I want to hit things like that. But one thing,

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Speaker 2: I had a lot of space on that page, and

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Speaker 2: I'm like, you know, it will be fun. I'll just

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Speaker 2: like see what podcasts I listened to and like what

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Speaker 2: I read. And I realized, like, oh, I want to

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Speaker 2: track my media consumption and just kind of see what

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Speaker 2: it is. And I was surprised by two things. One

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Speaker 2: how much we do listen to on autopilot, Like you know,

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Speaker 2: you just listen to whatever podcast comes up next, like

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Speaker 2: you didn't actively choose it.

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Speaker 1: So that was interesting.

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Speaker 2: But also the sheer volume of media that I consume

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Speaker 2: and I'm sure we all consume. And I consider myself

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Speaker 2: a pretty busy person and yet sometimes like the list

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Speaker 2: of like people talking at me things I read, it

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Speaker 2: was pretty sizable at the end of certain days with

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Speaker 2: not a lot of awareness around that. So I think

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Speaker 2: putting it onto paper has been super interesting for me.

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Speaker 2: And so then I asked, Laura, like you do all

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Speaker 2: this time tracking you know where every single like half

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Speaker 2: hour of your life goes back spanning years. Are you

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Speaker 2: tracking your media in there or is this something you've

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Speaker 2: ever thought about?

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Speaker 1: So, I mean the short answer is no, not so much.

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Speaker 1: I mean I do. If I'm watching TV, for instance,

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Speaker 1: I tend to put what it is just because it's

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Speaker 1: so rare that I do it. It's almost always a

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Speaker 1: sports kind of thing, so it'd be like watch Eagles

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Speaker 1: watch seventy six ers, so that will be like TV

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Speaker 1: slash seventy six ers, right, That's what I would put,

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Speaker 1: so I would know what I was watching in that case.

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Speaker 1: For reading, I usually just put read on my log

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Speaker 1: I don't put what it is, except if it's something

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Speaker 1: that like if I've just finished something big, right, like

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Speaker 1: would I finish Kristin Lavren's Daughter, that's you know, I

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Speaker 1: put like finish kl you know, as an entry because

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Speaker 1: that took many, many hours, it's like a fifteen hundred

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Speaker 1: page book. Or when I finished Warren Piece, like finished WNPAA,

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Speaker 1: because I felt that needed a little bit more acknowledgment

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Speaker 1: than just read. I did track my books for a

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Speaker 1: couple of years, so I went through something of a

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Speaker 1: reading renaissance in the year at twenty seventeen and twenty

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Speaker 1: eighteen where I decided to just check off a lot

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Speaker 1: of books that had been on my book bucket list.

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Speaker 1: So I wrote down what I was reading and have

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Speaker 1: that list somewhere and then I don't know, I guess

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Speaker 1: like by twenty nineteen, I kind of let it go

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Speaker 1: and then learned I was pregnant with Henry and just

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Speaker 1: kind of lost energy for a lot of things. So

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Speaker 1: the book reading and tracking took a little bit of

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Speaker 1: a news dive at that point. But you know, then

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Speaker 1: by twenty twenty one, I was doing my reading projects again,

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Speaker 1: where I read Warren Piece over the course of the

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Speaker 1: year and twenty twenty two Shakespeare twenty twenty three Jane Austin,

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Speaker 1: so that I was tracking in the sense that I

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Speaker 1: wanted to know what I had I read for that.

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Speaker 1: But yeah, I hadn't really thought about what media do

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Speaker 1: I consume in an average day. I was thinking about

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Speaker 1: this this morning as we were getting ready to record this.

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Speaker 1: We had a little bit of time before we were recording,

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Speaker 1: and I thought about, well, what was I sitting here

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Speaker 1: reading for like thirty minutes in the morning, And it's

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Speaker 1: various newsletters. It's newsletters and blogs. So I read like

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Speaker 1: Matt Iglesias's slow, boring newsletter most mornings. That's actually what

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Speaker 1: I'd recommend to people.

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Speaker 2: The title, by the way, She's not like knocking the

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Speaker 2: news letter.

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Speaker 1: Yes, it's not slow and boring. It's and he doesn't

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Speaker 1: mean it's tongue in cheek because slow boring does sound

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Speaker 1: like whatever. But it's about things change, like through the

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Speaker 1: slow boring of hardwoods or something like that. Right, it's

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Speaker 1: making small progress into big problems, and it's about various

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Speaker 1: public policy things. He's always a little contrarian, which is

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Speaker 1: what I like. I don't know if our politics would

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Speaker 1: be the same at all, but I think it's interesting

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Speaker 1: what he's saying, and so i'd throw that out there

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Speaker 1: as a recommendation. I often read Emily Oster. You know,

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Speaker 1: I obviously read your blog, Sarah. I read The Frugal Girl.

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Speaker 1: I read a couple others. You know, we've talked about

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Speaker 1: optimistic musings. I read Grateful K, I read Lisa, You're

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Speaker 1: you know, all these regular bloggers that have become friends

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Speaker 1: of the show over the years. So yeah, I mean

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Speaker 1: I consume a lot too. I'm sure. I just, you know,

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Speaker 1: have not really tracked it. So maybe I will.

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Speaker 2: Maybe you will. Oh wow, wow, that's interesting that I

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Speaker 2: didn't get that as your first take when you responded

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Speaker 2: to these notes. But I'm excited that maybe it's growing

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Speaker 2: on you. I'm not advocating that everybody track every single

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Speaker 2: piece of media that goes in every day, but I

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Speaker 2: do think it could be one of those things like

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Speaker 2: timetrack and where you do it every once in a

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Speaker 2: while to pay more attention. I admit that when I

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Speaker 2: read blogs specifically, I just write on my little log

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Speaker 2: I make a W meaning like websites. I don't know

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Speaker 2: I would do B, but I b as already books,

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Speaker 2: so and then I just write, like read feed lea

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Speaker 2: blogs because I use feed lee as my aggregator and

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Speaker 2: just kind of read the ones that I subscribe to.

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Speaker 2: All Right, so we are going to talk about social media,

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Speaker 2: even though I said this is not an episode about

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Speaker 2: social media, because it is one very common, very ubiquitous

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Speaker 2: form of media in this day and age, and Laura

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Speaker 2: and I also have different takes and feelings about it.

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Speaker 2: So I think it's like good to kind of share

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Speaker 2: both of our experiences around this because there is no

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Speaker 2: one right answer regarding any of these forms of media.

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Speaker 2: By the way, I just think it deserves some reflection

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Speaker 2: for each of us. So I've shared my social media

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Speaker 2: journey a bit before on this podcast. I think more

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Speaker 2: unbeest laid plans. But I quit Facebook in twenty sixteen

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Speaker 2: when I sensed the level of general vitriol going up,

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Speaker 2: but also because I found myself very addicted to reading

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Speaker 2: like physician, mommy group stuff. There's something about that particular

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Speaker 2: form of like bulletin board style media that ropes me

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Speaker 2: in and does not let me go. Like you know,

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Speaker 2: some people have issues with alcohol, some people have issues

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Speaker 2: with sugar. I know that is something I am like

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Speaker 2: very bad with, and so I was like, I am

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Speaker 2: better off without this temptation in my life and Facebook.

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Speaker 2: But then Instagram was just becoming popular, and by twenty

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Speaker 2: twenty one, some of that very same energy was gripping me.

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Speaker 2: With Instagram. I get very COMPARI I get I don't know,

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Speaker 2: I just it awakens something very bad in me. And

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Speaker 2: I also find it just like very hard to turn

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Speaker 2: off the phone once I start. And so in twenty

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Speaker 2: twenty one, I put in a way message up on

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Speaker 2: Instagram that was like I think I'm leaving. I don't know.

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Speaker 2: It's like my last post I've never posted since then

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Speaker 2: you can look at it. I don't go in there.

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Speaker 2: And then it had the thing that was key for

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Speaker 2: me because I knew that like, yes, some people might

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Speaker 2: look me up on Instagram and I didn't have a

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Speaker 2: business at that point, but like I had a podcast

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Speaker 2: and I wanted people to be able to find me.

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Speaker 2: So I just put up all the links and then

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Speaker 2: was like, goodbye, I'm not opening this ever again, and

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Speaker 2: I really haven't. I will click on a link if

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Speaker 2: someone sends me something, and then that automatically opens it,

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Speaker 2: but then I'm like so terrified of going back to

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Speaker 2: the more addictive place that I just like I have

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Speaker 2: no desire to and I just like close it immediately.

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Speaker 2: So I really don't do any social media, and I

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Speaker 2: do feel like I'm weird, like I don't I know

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Speaker 2: that many people in the same boat who don't post it,

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Speaker 2: but also like don't consume it. I never got into TikTok.

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Speaker 2: I do love podcasts, I love blogs. I watch a

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Speaker 2: little bit of YouTube for very specific niche stuff, but

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Speaker 2: it never had that kind of pull on me. I

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Speaker 2: think because videos like it's a little slower, I can't

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Speaker 2: consume it at that like obscene pace or I don't

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Speaker 2: want to, and that never was like a problem for me.

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Speaker 2: So I do it every once in a while, But

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Speaker 2: that's my social media story, and I can honestly say

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Speaker 2: for me, and I'm not saying for you, for Laura,

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Speaker 2: for any of you listening that this is like your journey,

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Speaker 2: but for me, that was one hundred percent of the

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Speaker 2: right call. I am a happier human without it, period.

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Speaker 1: I was gonna say social media has actually been like

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Speaker 1: saving me the past few days. If if my voice

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Speaker 1: sounds funny, this is our second episode that I'm recording

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Speaker 1: from my bed, so I apologize for the sound quality here,

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Speaker 1: but been a bit debilitated with some back and leg pain,

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Speaker 1: so recording this from up here, and when you are bedbound,

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Speaker 1: it's hard to do much. And I don't actually have

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Speaker 1: a TV in my so I've been doing a lot

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Speaker 1: of social media consumption, but you know, it is what

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Speaker 1: it is. I don't find Facebook all that appealing anymore.

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Speaker 1: I don't know what it is, but Instagram's starting to

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Speaker 1: have some of that same energy. I feel like I'm

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Speaker 1: getting a lot more videos and ads of things I

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Speaker 1: didn't ask for. I've tried to be better about curating it,

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Speaker 1: like going to post like on dollhouse furniture, which I like.

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Speaker 1: I was like the Mega Family posts. There's some really

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Speaker 1: funny ones, like the fit Dad CEO on Instagram. I

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Speaker 1: anyone wants to check him out, He's pretty funny and Twitter.

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Speaker 1: I just like hearing the variety of voices on different

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Speaker 1: news topics because again, I follow people all over in everything.

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Speaker 1: I don't know, I just kind of want to hear

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Speaker 1: what people are saying, which we want to have. When

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Speaker 1: listeners like I can't believe you follow this person, I'm like, well,

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Speaker 1: is it better to not know what they're saying. I

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Speaker 1: don't think it's an endorsement to see what they're doing.

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Speaker 1: But you know, anyway, when I'm in my normal life,

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Speaker 1: I do try to have other things that I do first,

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Speaker 1: so it's not all my time. So partly some of

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Speaker 1: that is about having total brainless books to read or

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Speaker 1: look at pretty pictures, Like I like to check out

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Speaker 1: coffee table books from the library so I can look

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Speaker 1: at those. I like to do my puzzles. You know,

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Speaker 1: I think I'm more of a moderator on it, Sarah

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Speaker 1: as an abstainer, I'm a moderator at this point. I

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Speaker 1: don't feel like it's a problem if in my life,

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Speaker 1: like if I'm not getting other things done because I'm

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Speaker 1: on social media or not hanging out with my family

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Speaker 1: or something because I'm on social media, then it would

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Speaker 1: be time to examine it. But so far it just

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Speaker 1: sort of fits in the crevices of life as just,

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Speaker 1: you know, something to pass the time, and even the

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Speaker 1: busy people sometimes need something to pass the time. So

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Speaker 1: questions about media in general, Sarah, how do you keep

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Speaker 1: track of things that you might want to read or

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Speaker 1: listen to or watch in the future.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I love doing this. I feel like thinking about

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Speaker 2: what I want to read and to some degree watch

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Speaker 2: in advance ends up enhancing my experience of reading or

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Speaker 2: watching said thing. Don't that would be true for everyone,

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Speaker 2: But part of it is just that if you are

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Speaker 2: curating your reading list and getting your stuff from sources

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Speaker 2: that work for you, you're probably gonna end up reading

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Speaker 2: things that you end up really liking. And so I've

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Speaker 2: always had a to B red list going that I

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Speaker 2: would keep track of. This also helps because I get

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Speaker 2: a lot of books from the library, and if you

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Speaker 2: kind of have to play the library Holds game of

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Speaker 2: like how long things are going to take, you kind

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Speaker 2: of need to think a little bit ahead. Obviously, you

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Speaker 2: could also purchase books and get them very quickly or

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Speaker 2: instantly if you go to a actual bookstore, but if

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Speaker 2: you are using the library, thinking ahead is helpful. And

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Speaker 2: so this year I'm doing it a little different where

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Speaker 2: I'm trying to like curate a list by season with

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Speaker 2: like a little bit of a theme, a very loose theme,

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Speaker 2: which like this season I'm trying to read like other

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Speaker 2: people's twenty twenty three favorites, and then like I think

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Speaker 2: I'm gonna do like backlist in the spring or whatever.

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Speaker 2: We've had Friend of the podcast and Boggle on before

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Speaker 2: I think a couple of times I often use her

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Speaker 2: reading list to get a lot of inspiration for mine,

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Speaker 2: and then I just keep track of it either on

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Speaker 2: like a paper or on my blog. I actually haven't

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Speaker 2: even made my twenty twenty four books page. Maybe I

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Speaker 2: will by the time this comes out, but I have

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Speaker 2: it in a paper form for myself currently and then

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Speaker 2: for watching. I have gotten in the habit and this

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Speaker 2: is like part of my seasonal planning is all just

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Speaker 2: google like movies and shows coming out and see if

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Speaker 2: there's anything that looks really really fun and exciting, like

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Speaker 2: I'm gonna see Mean Girls this weekend. So I have

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Speaker 2: been looking forward to that, and I've gotten my kids

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Speaker 2: to look forward to that, and just knowing that it's

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Speaker 2: there has been just a little bit of fun and

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Speaker 2: an anticipation never killed anyone, right, Like you get the

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Speaker 2: anticipatory yourself, even with things like watching a movie if

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Speaker 2: you know about them advance. So I've done a little

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Speaker 2: just quick Google search what's coming out soon, and tried

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Speaker 2: to do that every couple months.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't have a good system for this. I

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Speaker 1: do track. I have my Bach calendar, my buck listening calendar,

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Speaker 1: which we will talk about a little bit more in

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Speaker 1: a later part of this episode. I have put down

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Speaker 1: books in my planner that I know are coming out

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Speaker 1: that I would like to read. But it's also so

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Speaker 1: just like when I if I see something good, I'll

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Speaker 1: like maybe get the free sample from Amazon on the

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Speaker 1: Kindle and check it out and then often wind up

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Speaker 1: buying it from there. But no, I don't have currently

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Speaker 1: have a good TVR system going or anything like that.

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Speaker 1: So different things again, maybe I need to start doing this,

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Speaker 1: but something for the future.

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Speaker 2: As an author, I think if you preorder, like if

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Speaker 2: you know you love an author, and like like, let's

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Speaker 2: say Laura's coming out with a new book, and you're like, oh,

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Speaker 2: I'm just going to pre order that now. Then you

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Speaker 2: don't even have to remember or keep track of it.

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Speaker 2: But when it arrives, we'd be like, Ooh, I gave

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Speaker 2: myself a present, and now my TVR list is like

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Speaker 2: physically in front of me. So shout out to like

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Speaker 2: doing pre orders to give yourself a little surprise in

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Speaker 2: the future.

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Speaker 1: Past self, giving a little gift to future you. Exactly.

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Speaker 1: All right, Well, we're going to take a quick ad

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Speaker 1: break and then we'll be back with a little bit

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Speaker 1: more on curating your media consumption, planning your media and

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Speaker 1: things that can make it a more enjoyable part of

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Speaker 1: your life. So Sarah, what, We're back from our commercial

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Speaker 1: break here and we're talking about ways to get more

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Speaker 1: out of your media consumption, all forms of media, how

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Speaker 1: you can make it a more enjoyable part of your life.

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Speaker 1: This is certainly something Sarah has been focusing a lot

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Speaker 1: on this year. So Sarah, what are ways that help

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Speaker 1: you enjoy the media you are consuming more?

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Speaker 2: So? As I already mentioned the recording, so I won't

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Speaker 2: go into that, but I think that does kind of

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Speaker 2: somehow help deepen the experience of enjoying it, like knowing

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Speaker 2: that I'm writing it down. Don't know why, but whatever

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Speaker 2: works for me. But I will say also getting into

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Speaker 2: a theme or series. So just like I picked for

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Speaker 2: a certain part of the year reading backless titles, I

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Speaker 2: just think it's more fun and like gives it a

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Speaker 2: little bit more dimension if there's like a little bit

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Speaker 2: of a project aspect to it. I think the key

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Speaker 2: is not being really rigid with this, like do it

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Speaker 2: if it's fun, and then if something else comes up

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Speaker 2: that's like really fun to consume for media, then you

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Speaker 2: can pivot finding other people who also like xyz form

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Speaker 2: of media is also a really fun way to enhance

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Speaker 2: the experience. That's why I love book clubs. I'm in

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Speaker 2: an in real life book club that I kind of

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Speaker 2: started up, and then of course we have our Patreon

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Speaker 2: book club where we read nonfiction titles three times a year,

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Speaker 2: And honestly, anytime anybody's like I think we should start

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Speaker 2: a book club, I'm like, yes, because I like to

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Speaker 2: read and I like talking about books, and yeah, it's

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Speaker 2: the perfect commingling of those two things.

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Speaker 1: Absolutely. Yeah, the Patreon one is the only book club

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Speaker 1: I'm in currently, I'm open to the possibility of being

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Speaker 1: in one in person. I just haven't found the right

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Speaker 1: match yet. But I'm a big fan of having a

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Speaker 1: project as well, and so this year I'm doing a

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Speaker 1: project where I'm listening to all the works of Bach.

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Speaker 1: I know a couple other people are playing along. Either

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Speaker 1: they were inspired to do this by hearing me mention it,

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Speaker 1: or they were thinking of doing it too, and we

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Speaker 1: touch base about it. But he has over eleven hundred

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Speaker 1: known works. It works out to, you know, three or

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Speaker 1: so per day, and I have been creating a calendar

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Speaker 1: of what I'm going to listen to each day, and

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Speaker 1: it's pulling not just from like do works one through

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Speaker 1: three on the first day, four through six, because as

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Speaker 1: we've I think I've mentioned I here before, the first

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Speaker 1: two hundred or all cantatas, which are roughly twenty minute

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Speaker 1: vocal pieces, and so I would be listening to nothing

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Speaker 1: but cantatas for a long long time. So I've been

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Speaker 1: mixing it up, doing BWV one, which is a cantata,

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Speaker 1: plus starting with the organ music, which it starts at

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Speaker 1: BWV five twenty five. So I do like on the

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Speaker 1: first day BWB one and BWV five twenty five and

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Speaker 1: five twenty six, for instance, And that way I could

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Speaker 1: get about thirty to forty minutes of listening every day

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Speaker 1: and get a variety of box work instead of all

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Speaker 1: of just one variety.

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Speaker 2: And you created a calendar to support this correct.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, It's only actually done out through late February

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Speaker 1: at this point, because I just keep trying to make

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Speaker 1: sure that I'm doing it a sustainable way. I figure

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Speaker 1: out how much I can listen to each day. But

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Speaker 1: so far this has actually not been problematic. I'm thinking

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Speaker 1: I could probably even up the number that I'm listening

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Speaker 1: to each day, just to give myself a little bit

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Speaker 1: of a buffer for the future and for travel and

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Speaker 1: things like that. But yeah, that helps me enjoy it more.

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Speaker 1: Like as I know, I'm the completest aspect of this,

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Speaker 1: because you learn things when you read or listen to

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Speaker 1: all of somebody's stuff as opposed to just like a

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Speaker 1: little bit of their stuff. And I'm not saying there's

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Speaker 1: not a place for listening to the greatest hits of anyone,

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Speaker 1: Like I think that's a great way to be introduced

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Speaker 1: to something. But if you are finding yourself into something right,

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Speaker 1: Like you think that this person has a lot of talent,

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Speaker 1: or this composer was great, or this author showed a

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Speaker 1: lot of different things. In the three books I've read,

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Speaker 1: you could read everything and to set that as a

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Speaker 1: goal and just make sure you give yourself enough time

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Speaker 1: that you will be able to get through it without

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Speaker 1: inspiring a lot of resistance. So for me, a year

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Speaker 1: has been good for that for the reading projects, because

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Speaker 1: you tend not to have to do that much on

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Speaker 1: any given day. But you know, especially if it's somebody

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Speaker 1: who hasn't written quite as much, maybe you say it's

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Speaker 1: like a six month project or a three month project

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Speaker 1: or something like that, like ninety days of this author

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Speaker 1: and get through everything and see how they're writing evolved,

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Speaker 1: how they revisit themes. It just gives you more insight

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Speaker 1: into them as an artist, and I think that's really cool.

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Speaker 2: I almost feel like you should do like a diary

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Speaker 2: of like what you're listening experiences in January versus December,

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Speaker 2: because I think it'll deepen, Like you're gonna gain this

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Speaker 2: like appreciation for nuances that you probably wouldn't notice having

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Speaker 2: all this experience. And so that's going to be. Part

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Speaker 2: of the fun is seeing how like you notice details

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Speaker 2: that you might not have noticed in the beginning.

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Speaker 1: I think it's super cool.

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Speaker 2: I'm always interested at the beginning of every year, like

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Speaker 2: what is Laura's media consumption project going to be? Because

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Speaker 2: it has been that really for the last few years,

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Speaker 2: and it's always interesting and it's not always what I

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Speaker 2: would expect, So I think it's cool.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and I'm already seeing some stuff like the I mean,

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Speaker 1: I'm definitely more familiar with the kantata as an art

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Speaker 1: form now than having listened to we were recording this

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Speaker 1: on January eighteen. I've listened to eighteen of them, as

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Speaker 1: you can imagine, And yeah, I now know how Bach

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Speaker 1: handled a kantata in many ways, but you know, you

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Speaker 1: also start to see how he borrowed from his own

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Speaker 1: work extensively. There are a couple different you know things

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Speaker 1: where I'd be listening to a kantata, I'm like, I

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Speaker 1: know that, and it's because he'd later use that same

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Speaker 1: theme in one of his you know, masses or bigger works.

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Speaker 1: And he was a working musician. He needed something to

433
00:20:34,080 --> 00:20:36,439
Speaker 1: be performed, and so he would mind what he had

434
00:20:36,440 --> 00:20:38,640
Speaker 1: already created. If he thought it would work well in

435
00:20:38,760 --> 00:20:41,000
Speaker 1: a future piece, and so that's that's been kind of

436
00:20:41,040 --> 00:20:43,560
Speaker 1: fun to see as well. Love it well.

437
00:20:43,600 --> 00:20:46,680
Speaker 2: I can't wait to hear the continued progress reports. All Right,

438
00:20:46,720 --> 00:20:49,240
Speaker 2: So here is a challenge that I'm currently facing that

439
00:20:49,280 --> 00:20:52,160
Speaker 2: I don't have a great answer to. But a lot

440
00:20:52,200 --> 00:20:54,480
Speaker 2: of times I love the idea of a family movie

441
00:20:54,560 --> 00:20:58,520
Speaker 2: night and all sitting down to enjoy media, enjoy TV

442
00:20:58,680 --> 00:21:02,640
Speaker 2: or movie altogether. But my kids are six, almost ten,

443
00:21:03,720 --> 00:21:08,040
Speaker 2: and almost twelve, and the number of things that capture

444
00:21:08,200 --> 00:21:12,120
Speaker 2: all of their fancy are quite limited. We've had good

445
00:21:12,119 --> 00:21:14,359
Speaker 2: success recently with Harry Potter, but then one of my

446
00:21:14,400 --> 00:21:16,359
Speaker 2: kids recently was like, oh, I've seen it too many times.

447
00:21:16,359 --> 00:21:18,919
Speaker 2: I don't want to keep watching these et cetera. So

448
00:21:19,400 --> 00:21:21,240
Speaker 2: I mean, do you just give up? I remember Sarah

449
00:21:21,240 --> 00:21:23,400
Speaker 2: from The Mom I were talking about how she held

450
00:21:23,440 --> 00:21:25,159
Speaker 2: on to this idea of everybody watching the same thing

451
00:21:25,200 --> 00:21:26,960
Speaker 2: for a really long time and then she just moved

452
00:21:27,000 --> 00:21:29,040
Speaker 2: on from it because it was just too hard and

453
00:21:29,080 --> 00:21:32,480
Speaker 2: everybody wanted to do their own thing. But I guess

454
00:21:32,800 --> 00:21:35,440
Speaker 2: I don't know thoughts on this or are there certain

455
00:21:35,680 --> 00:21:39,760
Speaker 2: forms that really do lens of themselves to multiple age groups?

456
00:21:39,760 --> 00:21:43,080
Speaker 1: And interests. I don't know. I mean, I'm not a

457
00:21:43,080 --> 00:21:45,280
Speaker 1: big TV or movie person, so I'm probably not the

458
00:21:45,320 --> 00:21:47,280
Speaker 1: right person to ask on this. I do know that

459
00:21:47,359 --> 00:21:50,160
Speaker 1: we took all five kids to Disney on Ice and

460
00:21:50,840 --> 00:21:53,399
Speaker 1: so that was a live experience, but they all liked it,

461
00:21:53,880 --> 00:21:56,680
Speaker 1: so I will throw that out as something that everyone

462
00:21:56,800 --> 00:21:59,600
Speaker 1: can get into. And sometimes, yeah, things like the Harry

463
00:21:59,640 --> 00:22:02,639
Speaker 1: Potter or even a really good old Disney movies, sometimes

464
00:22:02,680 --> 00:22:04,760
Speaker 1: at least three of the kids or you know, four

465
00:22:04,800 --> 00:22:07,240
Speaker 1: of the kids will like it too. But I will

466
00:22:07,280 --> 00:22:10,119
Speaker 1: say that if you once to at least experience it

467
00:22:10,119 --> 00:22:12,160
Speaker 1: with like one other family member or one or two

468
00:22:12,200 --> 00:22:15,080
Speaker 1: other family members, maybe all family members might be hard

469
00:22:15,119 --> 00:22:19,760
Speaker 1: to pull off, but definitely different people have some matched

470
00:22:19,760 --> 00:22:21,640
Speaker 1: interests and it can be good when they can consume

471
00:22:21,680 --> 00:22:24,119
Speaker 1: something to gather and so just rather than go for

472
00:22:24,240 --> 00:22:26,840
Speaker 1: everyone the see if you could find like matched pairs.

473
00:22:27,160 --> 00:22:29,640
Speaker 1: I know my husband does this. He will watch four

474
00:22:30,000 --> 00:22:31,840
Speaker 1: movies that are coming out that he thinks some of

475
00:22:31,840 --> 00:22:34,600
Speaker 1: the kids will like to see, and often Jasper and

476
00:22:34,640 --> 00:22:37,879
Speaker 1: Sam would be into going to a action movie. Sometimes

477
00:22:37,960 --> 00:22:41,520
Speaker 1: Alex two if it's appropriate. He'll watch for the animated

478
00:22:41,600 --> 00:22:45,920
Speaker 1: movies and then take Henry and Alex and Ruth to those,

479
00:22:45,960 --> 00:22:49,680
Speaker 1: and sometimes Jasper likes all movies, so he go to anything.

480
00:22:50,720 --> 00:22:55,600
Speaker 1: But you know, then he's watching The Simpsons with Ruth

481
00:22:55,640 --> 00:22:58,720
Speaker 1: and Young Sheldon with Ruth. He's been watching Game of

482
00:22:58,800 --> 00:23:00,720
Speaker 1: Thrones with the boys. I've just I just not to

483
00:23:00,720 --> 00:23:02,840
Speaker 1: worry about that too much. My older boys are basically,

484
00:23:02,880 --> 00:23:06,199
Speaker 1: you know, getting toward adulthood. I can just not ponder

485
00:23:06,240 --> 00:23:08,919
Speaker 1: that one too much. Something they like to do together,

486
00:23:09,320 --> 00:23:12,040
Speaker 1: and I will throw out there that video games are

487
00:23:12,080 --> 00:23:15,639
Speaker 1: often these days a very good way to experience media

488
00:23:16,160 --> 00:23:19,160
Speaker 1: in community with other people. And I'm maybe someone listening

489
00:23:19,200 --> 00:23:21,800
Speaker 1: to this sounding like, wow, that's ridiculous. Video games are

490
00:23:21,800 --> 00:23:24,359
Speaker 1: like whatever, But it is how and I see this

491
00:23:24,520 --> 00:23:28,639
Speaker 1: through probably because I have so many boys that it

492
00:23:28,880 --> 00:23:32,320
Speaker 1: often tends to be more of a boy group type thing,

493
00:23:32,320 --> 00:23:34,480
Speaker 1: though I'm sure there are many groups of girls who

494
00:23:34,480 --> 00:23:38,360
Speaker 1: also enjoy lots of different video game type things. But

495
00:23:38,880 --> 00:23:41,920
Speaker 1: Sam will play various games with his friends. They'll call

496
00:23:41,960 --> 00:23:43,439
Speaker 1: each other on the phone and then they'll all be

497
00:23:43,520 --> 00:23:46,359
Speaker 1: logged on at the same time. So that's something you know,

498
00:23:46,440 --> 00:23:48,320
Speaker 1: you could do as family members as well, Like my

499
00:23:48,640 --> 00:23:52,560
Speaker 1: husband and Sam and Alex will all play Fortnite together, right,

500
00:23:52,640 --> 00:23:55,720
Speaker 1: the three of them will be on a team and

501
00:23:56,000 --> 00:23:59,080
Speaker 1: so they can play. You know, we actually wound up

502
00:23:59,119 --> 00:24:01,920
Speaker 1: with two xbox is now, so that like multiple games

503
00:24:01,960 --> 00:24:05,520
Speaker 1: can be going, So yeah, you know, or Halo or

504
00:24:05,560 --> 00:24:10,159
Speaker 1: anything like that. Just look into something that Minecraft for

505
00:24:10,240 --> 00:24:12,600
Speaker 1: younger kids. If you can get like all of your

506
00:24:12,680 --> 00:24:15,000
Speaker 1: kids playing on Minecraft simultaneously, they can be in each

507
00:24:15,000 --> 00:24:17,840
Speaker 1: other's worlds or various other roadblocks games they might enjoy,

508
00:24:18,600 --> 00:24:20,600
Speaker 1: you know, like theme Park, Tycoon or something that they

509
00:24:20,600 --> 00:24:23,520
Speaker 1: can all try out each other's worlds. So being on

510
00:24:23,560 --> 00:24:27,320
Speaker 1: the lookout for games that you don't absolutely hate and

511
00:24:27,320 --> 00:24:28,879
Speaker 1: that multiple people can do together.

512
00:24:29,680 --> 00:24:32,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, I like that. And I'm not judging about games either,

513
00:24:32,200 --> 00:24:35,280
Speaker 2: especially if you can get everybody in the family to participate.

514
00:24:35,320 --> 00:24:37,199
Speaker 2: I mean, again, there's probably only a limited set of

515
00:24:37,200 --> 00:24:39,200
Speaker 2: games depending on your kids ages where that's going to

516
00:24:39,240 --> 00:24:40,959
Speaker 2: be true, But there's definitely some out there, and you're right,

517
00:24:41,040 --> 00:24:44,200
Speaker 2: Minecraft is definitely one of them, certain parts of roadblocks,

518
00:24:44,200 --> 00:24:44,680
Speaker 2: et cetera.

519
00:24:44,880 --> 00:24:47,919
Speaker 1: So that's a good point. Well, because let's talk about that.

520
00:24:47,960 --> 00:24:49,840
Speaker 1: I Mean, you said a question here, how do you

521
00:24:49,880 --> 00:24:52,800
Speaker 1: approach others media's choices that you might not align with,

522
00:24:52,920 --> 00:24:54,920
Speaker 1: Like you know, what if your kids or your husband

523
00:24:55,000 --> 00:24:58,320
Speaker 1: or whatever has media that you really are not that into,

524
00:24:58,440 --> 00:24:59,359
Speaker 1: I mean, what do you do with that?

525
00:25:00,320 --> 00:25:04,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, in general, unless I'm trying to curate a movie

526
00:25:04,840 --> 00:25:07,120
Speaker 2: night type experience, there's a lot up to each their

527
00:25:07,119 --> 00:25:09,480
Speaker 2: own in our household. And like my husband watches a

528
00:25:09,600 --> 00:25:14,040
Speaker 2: lot of sports, Cameron enjoys watching a lot of sports

529
00:25:14,080 --> 00:25:18,119
Speaker 2: with him. So again traditional gender divide, but it is

530
00:25:18,160 --> 00:25:21,040
Speaker 2: what it is. They really enjoy doing that together. And

531
00:25:21,080 --> 00:25:25,080
Speaker 2: then sometimes Animall watches skincare videos on YouTube and then

532
00:25:25,119 --> 00:25:29,239
Speaker 2: I can learn from her there and I will say, like,

533
00:25:30,119 --> 00:25:32,040
Speaker 2: I'm not too judging unless I think it's something that's

534
00:25:32,080 --> 00:25:36,119
Speaker 2: really bad for them. I am still not having my

535
00:25:36,200 --> 00:25:40,520
Speaker 2: kids do social media themselves. I feel like I can

536
00:25:40,560 --> 00:25:42,960
Speaker 2: see some of my own tendencies in some of my kids,

537
00:25:43,000 --> 00:25:46,200
Speaker 2: and I don't need that to be an issue earlier

538
00:25:47,119 --> 00:25:49,560
Speaker 2: than it needs to be. I think if it becomes

539
00:25:49,560 --> 00:25:51,439
Speaker 2: a point where a child approaches me and is like,

540
00:25:51,520 --> 00:25:53,760
Speaker 2: this is why I need certain access to certain social

541
00:25:53,800 --> 00:25:55,719
Speaker 2: media and this is how we're going to handle it,

542
00:25:55,760 --> 00:25:57,840
Speaker 2: I'm open to conversations about it. But right now that

543
00:25:58,240 --> 00:26:01,080
Speaker 2: actually has not been too much of an So that

544
00:26:01,240 --> 00:26:03,400
Speaker 2: is the one thing that we kind of like don't

545
00:26:03,400 --> 00:26:05,359
Speaker 2: do as a family.

546
00:26:05,840 --> 00:26:06,560
Speaker 1: I guess no one.

547
00:26:06,600 --> 00:26:08,440
Speaker 2: No one in my family does social media.

548
00:26:08,680 --> 00:26:10,639
Speaker 1: No one in your family's on social media. Yeah, I'm

549
00:26:10,680 --> 00:26:13,440
Speaker 1: sure that my husband doesn't doesn't use it all that much.

550
00:26:13,440 --> 00:26:16,200
Speaker 1: I mean he checks Facebook on occasion, but not that frequently.

551
00:26:17,440 --> 00:26:21,080
Speaker 1: Jasper has like Instagram and Snapchat. I don't think he

552
00:26:21,119 --> 00:26:24,480
Speaker 1: actually uses it all that much. It's more of a

553
00:26:24,720 --> 00:26:27,840
Speaker 1: I think interaction with friends is often done group texting,

554
00:26:27,960 --> 00:26:32,760
Speaker 1: which I've found can be more hazardous in some ways

555
00:26:32,880 --> 00:26:38,000
Speaker 1: than social media, but needs to be just something you

556
00:26:38,040 --> 00:26:40,879
Speaker 1: deal with as a parent. I don't think Sam's been

557
00:26:40,880 --> 00:26:43,240
Speaker 1: that interested in social media so far. Again, his interaction

558
00:26:43,320 --> 00:26:45,680
Speaker 1: with friends is mostly through the group texting and through

559
00:26:46,280 --> 00:26:49,920
Speaker 1: video game that they play together. Yeah, yeah, which is great.

560
00:26:50,000 --> 00:26:55,159
Speaker 1: I think it's fun. I have found some horrendous stuff

561
00:26:55,160 --> 00:26:57,800
Speaker 1: coming out of Alex's iPad on occasion when he's like

562
00:26:57,840 --> 00:27:00,960
Speaker 1: watching YouTube shorts, so I've had to police that at

563
00:27:01,000 --> 00:27:06,200
Speaker 1: various points. But you know, that is an ongoing battle.

564
00:27:06,440 --> 00:27:09,040
Speaker 1: We've just limited the time he can have it, and

565
00:27:09,080 --> 00:27:12,560
Speaker 1: that seems too and if it's affecting behavior, then it

566
00:27:12,600 --> 00:27:17,000
Speaker 1: goes away. So that's generally been the judge there. You know,

567
00:27:17,280 --> 00:27:19,479
Speaker 1: if kids are happy and have friends and are doing

568
00:27:19,560 --> 00:27:22,119
Speaker 1: well in school and have some limits on it, like

569
00:27:22,320 --> 00:27:25,840
Speaker 1: they can't have their devices overnight, then for our family

570
00:27:25,840 --> 00:27:28,679
Speaker 1: that's mostly worked. Okay, I maybe have to change that.

571
00:27:28,720 --> 00:27:30,800
Speaker 1: I reserve my right to change that if things go

572
00:27:30,920 --> 00:27:33,800
Speaker 1: south quickly. But you know, so far that's been all

573
00:27:33,880 --> 00:27:38,280
Speaker 1: right for me. So you wanted to talk a little

574
00:27:38,280 --> 00:27:40,719
Speaker 1: bit about if people are trying to use their phones

575
00:27:40,880 --> 00:27:43,280
Speaker 1: less because they feel that it is crowding out other

576
00:27:43,400 --> 00:27:46,760
Speaker 1: media experiences. Well, first, how you might start noticing that,

577
00:27:47,200 --> 00:27:48,840
Speaker 1: and then what are some steps you can take.

578
00:27:49,920 --> 00:27:52,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, Well, one thing I've heard people talk about and

579
00:27:52,720 --> 00:27:55,760
Speaker 2: be very frustrated with themselves about is double devising, which

580
00:27:55,800 --> 00:27:57,359
Speaker 2: is when you're like trying to watch a movie or

581
00:27:57,400 --> 00:27:59,240
Speaker 2: TV show, but then you also have your phone there,

582
00:27:59,280 --> 00:28:01,480
Speaker 2: and then you're actually paying attention neither, and then you

583
00:28:01,520 --> 00:28:02,920
Speaker 2: miss a key part of the thing, and then you

584
00:28:02,960 --> 00:28:06,040
Speaker 2: like you give up, and then you're mad because you

585
00:28:06,080 --> 00:28:08,080
Speaker 2: didn't really get the experience you wanted, but you did

586
00:28:08,080 --> 00:28:11,040
Speaker 2: it to yourself. So I think it can be helpful

587
00:28:11,080 --> 00:28:13,720
Speaker 2: to a if phone use is something you're trying to

588
00:28:13,760 --> 00:28:16,800
Speaker 2: cut down, be very very specific and physical about how

589
00:28:16,800 --> 00:28:19,440
Speaker 2: you're going to separate from said device, especially if it's

590
00:28:19,440 --> 00:28:21,840
Speaker 2: not yet a habit, so you know, the simplest stuff

591
00:28:21,880 --> 00:28:24,680
Speaker 2: of like putting it in another room or plugging it in.

592
00:28:25,040 --> 00:28:26,960
Speaker 2: I personally find an Apple Watch helps me do that

593
00:28:27,040 --> 00:28:29,199
Speaker 2: much better because if someone does call, I don't have

594
00:28:29,200 --> 00:28:30,960
Speaker 2: to race around looking for it. I can even answer

595
00:28:31,000 --> 00:28:34,199
Speaker 2: it on my watch. So technology to solve technology's addiction

596
00:28:34,240 --> 00:28:37,560
Speaker 2: to technology works for me, I don't know. And then

597
00:28:37,720 --> 00:28:41,320
Speaker 2: the other thing is I think it helped me at

598
00:28:41,320 --> 00:28:43,280
Speaker 2: one point to just write a manifesto of like how

599
00:28:43,320 --> 00:28:45,160
Speaker 2: do I want to use this phone? Because obviously it

600
00:28:45,160 --> 00:28:47,440
Speaker 2: has some awesome stuff in it. I like texting too,

601
00:28:47,760 --> 00:28:49,640
Speaker 2: I like the convenience of using What's up? I like

602
00:28:49,760 --> 00:28:51,880
Speaker 2: ordering food on my phone, Like I do plenty of

603
00:28:51,920 --> 00:28:53,880
Speaker 2: things on my phone, But then there were things I

604
00:28:53,960 --> 00:28:55,479
Speaker 2: like didn't want to be doing with them, and like

605
00:28:55,720 --> 00:28:58,160
Speaker 2: double devicing is an example of something I'm like, I

606
00:28:58,200 --> 00:29:01,040
Speaker 2: never want to do that. If the movie is that bad,

607
00:29:01,040 --> 00:29:02,920
Speaker 2: then I need to scroll my phone. That's fine, but

608
00:29:02,960 --> 00:29:04,840
Speaker 2: I can just not watch the movie and like do

609
00:29:04,960 --> 00:29:07,640
Speaker 2: something else, like I hate the idea of doing that.

610
00:29:07,680 --> 00:29:09,560
Speaker 2: And then there were some other behaviors that I didn't

611
00:29:09,560 --> 00:29:11,600
Speaker 2: want to do, like different forms of social media, like

612
00:29:11,640 --> 00:29:14,560
Speaker 2: we talked about, and I wrote it down and I

613
00:29:14,600 --> 00:29:16,160
Speaker 2: thought about it and I looked at it and I

614
00:29:16,240 --> 00:29:17,719
Speaker 2: had to pay a lot of attention to it. But

615
00:29:18,320 --> 00:29:21,640
Speaker 2: I guess I think obviously manifestos don't work for everyone,

616
00:29:21,680 --> 00:29:24,000
Speaker 2: Otherwise we'd all get be doing everything we want to

617
00:29:24,040 --> 00:29:26,200
Speaker 2: do all the time, and that's not true for anyone,

618
00:29:26,240 --> 00:29:29,200
Speaker 2: including me. But just cultivating that awareness of what you

619
00:29:29,400 --> 00:29:31,920
Speaker 2: are looking for out of that relationship, I think can

620
00:29:31,960 --> 00:29:33,120
Speaker 2: be a helpful practice.

621
00:29:34,040 --> 00:29:37,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think that, you know, I have a rule

622
00:29:37,240 --> 00:29:41,240
Speaker 1: of effort full before effortless. And if you're just pulling

623
00:29:41,240 --> 00:29:45,400
Speaker 1: out the phone out of sort of mindless habit and

624
00:29:45,440 --> 00:29:48,280
Speaker 1: then doing that in lieu of other things that you

625
00:29:48,320 --> 00:29:50,600
Speaker 1: would prefer to do more, just challenge yourself to do

626
00:29:50,640 --> 00:29:53,600
Speaker 1: those things you'd prefer to do more first, and then

627
00:29:53,840 --> 00:29:56,000
Speaker 1: you can scroll around on your phone all you want afterwards.

628
00:29:56,000 --> 00:29:58,640
Speaker 1: So if you're trying to listen to great music, you know,

629
00:29:58,760 --> 00:30:00,840
Speaker 1: just pull that up on your phone first and start

630
00:30:00,840 --> 00:30:02,720
Speaker 1: listening to it and then you know, go scroll around.

631
00:30:02,800 --> 00:30:05,680
Speaker 1: Or if you are, you know, trying to read a book,

632
00:30:05,720 --> 00:30:07,640
Speaker 1: go to the Kindle app on your phone first and

633
00:30:07,960 --> 00:30:09,920
Speaker 1: read for three minutes and then you can go scroll

634
00:30:09,960 --> 00:30:12,160
Speaker 1: around or you know, do something off your phone and

635
00:30:12,360 --> 00:30:14,600
Speaker 1: go do a puzzle for a couple of minutes. But yeah,

636
00:30:15,000 --> 00:30:17,040
Speaker 1: it's hard because I do get my texts on my

637
00:30:17,120 --> 00:30:19,520
Speaker 1: phone and that is what I'm doing. I often notice

638
00:30:19,560 --> 00:30:22,120
Speaker 1: I haven't even gone to email or web or whatever else.

639
00:30:22,160 --> 00:30:25,960
Speaker 1: I'm just texting with various people while I'm doing something else.

640
00:30:26,040 --> 00:30:28,120
Speaker 1: So it's hard to know about that is because that's

641
00:30:28,520 --> 00:30:32,320
Speaker 1: I mean, it's relationship stuff. I'm just apparently attempting to

642
00:30:32,480 --> 00:30:38,280
Speaker 1: maintain multiple relationships simultaneously in various text threads. So for

643
00:30:38,360 --> 00:30:41,160
Speaker 1: any new listeners, we always end our episodes with a

644
00:30:41,280 --> 00:30:43,240
Speaker 1: love of the week. I mean, we'll do a question too,

645
00:30:43,280 --> 00:30:47,080
Speaker 1: But since we are kind of talking about media, we

646
00:30:47,120 --> 00:30:49,560
Speaker 1: thought we'd share some of our favorite media that we've

647
00:30:49,600 --> 00:30:52,400
Speaker 1: been consuming lately, kind of in lieu of our love

648
00:30:52,480 --> 00:30:56,920
Speaker 1: of the week. So Sarah, let's start with your favorite

649
00:30:56,960 --> 00:30:58,040
Speaker 1: books you've been reading lately.

650
00:30:58,360 --> 00:30:59,840
Speaker 2: That's going to say, I don't have anything in my

651
00:31:00,040 --> 00:31:03,440
Speaker 2: social media category. I'm so sorry, but it's el vandercam.

652
00:31:03,560 --> 00:31:05,320
Speaker 2: Obviously that's the best account.

653
00:31:04,960 --> 00:31:06,840
Speaker 1: To you follow. That's the only one you need to follow.

654
00:31:07,440 --> 00:31:08,000
Speaker 1: I'm just kidding.

655
00:31:08,600 --> 00:31:09,400
Speaker 2: It probably is awesome.

656
00:31:09,440 --> 00:31:10,160
Speaker 1: I don't actually know.

657
00:31:10,320 --> 00:31:13,040
Speaker 2: Laura has to actually text me stuff I need to

658
00:31:13,080 --> 00:31:13,800
Speaker 2: know about them.

659
00:31:14,120 --> 00:31:17,600
Speaker 1: Okay, screenshot stuff and text her things from social media.

660
00:31:17,840 --> 00:31:21,760
Speaker 1: You gotta see this, Sarah, which I love. Keep texting me.

661
00:31:22,120 --> 00:31:26,520
Speaker 2: That's always appreciated. My recent book that I loved was

662
00:31:26,640 --> 00:31:29,280
Speaker 2: The Heaven and Earth Grocery Store by James McBride, and

663
00:31:29,640 --> 00:31:31,480
Speaker 2: took me a little minute to get into it. His

664
00:31:31,520 --> 00:31:34,160
Speaker 2: writing style is different, but it's also delightful, like he

665
00:31:34,200 --> 00:31:36,760
Speaker 2: has these long, long sentences, but they're so colorful and

666
00:31:36,800 --> 00:31:38,600
Speaker 2: the characters are so good. And this one happened to

667
00:31:38,640 --> 00:31:41,680
Speaker 2: be set in Pennsylvania and featured a Jewish community that

668
00:31:41,760 --> 00:31:45,040
Speaker 2: was like commingling with the black community, and it was awesome,

669
00:31:45,120 --> 00:31:47,880
Speaker 2: like the characters were, they truly came alive. And I

670
00:31:47,960 --> 00:31:50,480
Speaker 2: will read everything. Maybe that'll be a reading project I do,

671
00:31:50,560 --> 00:31:52,960
Speaker 2: because I guess that's my second book I've read by him,

672
00:31:52,960 --> 00:31:55,960
Speaker 2: and they've both been excellent. So that was a recent

673
00:31:56,040 --> 00:31:56,520
Speaker 2: media win.

674
00:31:58,240 --> 00:32:02,720
Speaker 1: So I recently reread Dave Berry's Best State Ever, which

675
00:32:02,760 --> 00:32:05,040
Speaker 1: is about Florida, about Sarah's neck of the wood. So

676
00:32:05,120 --> 00:32:08,160
Speaker 1: she's reading about Philadelphia and I am reading about Florida.

677
00:32:08,560 --> 00:32:12,000
Speaker 1: And if people have not read Dave Berry, he's a

678
00:32:12,160 --> 00:32:14,920
Speaker 1: humor writer. He wrote for the Miami Herald for many years,

679
00:32:15,440 --> 00:32:17,920
Speaker 1: did a syndicated column that went ran in a lot

680
00:32:17,960 --> 00:32:22,640
Speaker 1: of different newspapers around the United States. And he's funny.

681
00:32:22,720 --> 00:32:26,240
Speaker 1: And this is a book about Florida and the various

682
00:32:26,560 --> 00:32:29,680
Speaker 1: humorous aspects of Florida. I know many people have joked

683
00:32:29,680 --> 00:32:33,080
Speaker 1: about the crime headlines that are like Florida, man does

684
00:32:33,440 --> 00:32:35,720
Speaker 1: there's always something weird, right. I think it's never just

685
00:32:35,800 --> 00:32:39,880
Speaker 1: you know, stealing a car. It's like stole a car

686
00:32:39,920 --> 00:32:42,400
Speaker 1: with an alligator in it or something like that. You know,

687
00:32:42,520 --> 00:32:45,800
Speaker 1: it just makes a little Florida angle that gets in

688
00:32:45,880 --> 00:32:48,640
Speaker 1: all the national media. And so that's what this book

689
00:32:48,720 --> 00:32:52,720
Speaker 1: is about. And I enjoyed rereading it. It's just funny.

690
00:32:52,840 --> 00:32:55,680
Speaker 1: Sometimes you really need that. Sarah, what have you been

691
00:32:55,880 --> 00:32:57,719
Speaker 1: listening to lately that you're enjoying?

692
00:32:59,040 --> 00:33:02,120
Speaker 2: I have been listening to an artist called Mitzki, in

693
00:33:02,160 --> 00:33:04,520
Speaker 2: part because I think she's great, and in part because

694
00:33:04,520 --> 00:33:06,640
Speaker 2: we're going to a concert of hers. By the time

695
00:33:06,680 --> 00:33:08,520
Speaker 2: this airs, we will have already gone. I hope it

696
00:33:08,600 --> 00:33:11,280
Speaker 2: was amazing, But we haven't gone to many concerts as

697
00:33:11,320 --> 00:33:13,680
Speaker 2: of late. I don't think we went to any last year,

698
00:33:14,080 --> 00:33:17,600
Speaker 2: but I saw these tickets pop off and I actually

699
00:33:17,600 --> 00:33:19,440
Speaker 2: bought them before the I had to go stub hub,

700
00:33:19,520 --> 00:33:21,200
Speaker 2: so I was happy because they sold out pretty quick.

701
00:33:21,520 --> 00:33:23,800
Speaker 2: And I also feel like I'm gonna be the oldest

702
00:33:23,800 --> 00:33:25,880
Speaker 2: one there because I did notice. I had a couple

703
00:33:25,880 --> 00:33:28,040
Speaker 2: of patients tell me they like Mitski, and then my

704
00:33:28,160 --> 00:33:30,160
Speaker 2: daughter's like, oh, this friend at school likes her, and

705
00:33:30,200 --> 00:33:31,440
Speaker 2: I'm like, oh my god, is it going to be

706
00:33:31,480 --> 00:33:33,560
Speaker 2: me and like a bunch of like thirteen year olds,

707
00:33:33,560 --> 00:33:36,680
Speaker 2: But I don't know. The All Songs Considered crew really

708
00:33:36,760 --> 00:33:38,640
Speaker 2: likes her too, so they'll probably be at least one

709
00:33:38,680 --> 00:33:43,719
Speaker 2: other person of voting drinking age there. Plus my husband's

710
00:33:43,720 --> 00:33:44,920
Speaker 2: going with me, so I can't wait.

711
00:33:45,760 --> 00:33:48,360
Speaker 1: Well, if nothing else to drive all the thirteen year olds,

712
00:33:48,400 --> 00:33:50,280
Speaker 1: I'm not sure everyone would just drop their thirteen year

713
00:33:50,280 --> 00:33:52,920
Speaker 1: olds off at a concert for the night, so they're

714
00:33:52,920 --> 00:33:54,760
Speaker 1: going to need a chaperone. So it'll be at least

715
00:33:54,840 --> 00:33:58,160
Speaker 1: you and the chaperones, right, true. Well, I'm excited.

716
00:33:58,280 --> 00:33:59,400
Speaker 2: So that's what I've been listening to.

717
00:34:00,120 --> 00:34:03,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, I know that sounds awesome. That sounds awesome. Obviously,

718
00:34:03,080 --> 00:34:05,080
Speaker 1: I've been just listening to a lot of Bach. But

719
00:34:05,120 --> 00:34:07,040
Speaker 1: if people want to check out one of the early

720
00:34:07,080 --> 00:34:10,120
Speaker 1: cantatas from what I've already listened to, I can recommend

721
00:34:10,400 --> 00:34:14,680
Speaker 1: the Ascension Oratorio, which is BWV eleven. All right, it

722
00:34:14,719 --> 00:34:20,400
Speaker 1: has some pretty cool corrals in it. And enjoyed listening

723
00:34:20,480 --> 00:34:25,200
Speaker 1: to that. Movies, Sarah, what are recommending? Okay, sounds good.

724
00:34:25,760 --> 00:34:27,560
Speaker 2: I don't have a recommendation of movies yet. I'm just

725
00:34:27,560 --> 00:34:29,600
Speaker 2: excited to go to Mean Girls and then oh, I

726
00:34:29,600 --> 00:34:31,640
Speaker 2: think this comes out later in the year. But also

727
00:34:31,680 --> 00:34:33,560
Speaker 2: on my to be watched with kids, and my kids

728
00:34:33,600 --> 00:34:35,560
Speaker 2: are all excited about is there's a sequel to Inside

729
00:34:35,560 --> 00:34:38,200
Speaker 2: Out coming out, which is a Disney Pixar and I

730
00:34:38,280 --> 00:34:40,400
Speaker 2: love the first one, like, I like genuinely love it,

731
00:34:40,480 --> 00:34:42,040
Speaker 2: like not just as a parent watching with her kids,

732
00:34:42,040 --> 00:34:44,480
Speaker 2: but like it's awesome. So I'm excited about that.

733
00:34:45,400 --> 00:34:48,040
Speaker 1: Yeah. Well, I'm not much of a movie person. I

734
00:34:48,040 --> 00:34:51,200
Speaker 1: can't say I have gone to much recently or planned to.

735
00:34:51,360 --> 00:34:54,320
Speaker 1: But I did go to the Taylor Swift concert movie

736
00:34:54,680 --> 00:34:57,080
Speaker 1: with Jasper and a friend of his, and you know,

737
00:34:57,160 --> 00:34:59,359
Speaker 1: it was fun. I had seen the concert in May

738
00:34:59,400 --> 00:35:01,239
Speaker 1: and it was pretty much the same thing, but I

739
00:35:01,440 --> 00:35:03,040
Speaker 1: enjoy her music, and I thought it was a well

740
00:35:03,080 --> 00:35:05,640
Speaker 1: staged show, so it was cool to get to see

741
00:35:05,640 --> 00:35:09,360
Speaker 1: it a second time for a much cheaper price. And

742
00:35:09,640 --> 00:35:13,360
Speaker 1: given that you're watching a lot on the big screen

743
00:35:13,400 --> 00:35:15,200
Speaker 1: at the concert too, ias you can see her in person,

744
00:35:15,239 --> 00:35:16,920
Speaker 1: but you see a lot of it's put up on

745
00:35:16,960 --> 00:35:19,200
Speaker 1: the screen as well. It wasn't that different an experience

746
00:35:19,200 --> 00:35:22,280
Speaker 1: of what you were watching with the movie versus that. Tugh. Obviously,

747
00:35:22,320 --> 00:35:24,480
Speaker 1: the live event is wonderful in its own way, and

748
00:35:24,480 --> 00:35:27,160
Speaker 1: I'm happy we went. But yeah, I'm not a movie person,

749
00:35:27,160 --> 00:35:29,200
Speaker 1: so it's really good. My husband is. And this was

750
00:35:29,360 --> 00:35:31,960
Speaker 1: actually a point of contention maybe early in our relationship

751
00:35:32,000 --> 00:35:36,320
Speaker 1: that I wasn't that much into going to movies. In fact,

752
00:35:37,360 --> 00:35:39,600
Speaker 1: the only like sort of true movie he and I

753
00:35:39,640 --> 00:35:41,800
Speaker 1: have seen in a movie theater together. This could be

754
00:35:41,880 --> 00:35:44,400
Speaker 1: like a Laura Vandercam trivia question if anyone wants to

755
00:35:44,400 --> 00:35:48,719
Speaker 1: hear it is Talladega Nights. That's the only one. It's

756
00:35:48,719 --> 00:35:51,600
Speaker 1: a good movie we've seen together in a theater. But

757
00:35:51,840 --> 00:35:53,200
Speaker 1: now my kids love to go with him and he

758
00:35:53,239 --> 00:35:55,360
Speaker 1: loves to go, so that yeah, they go together. So

759
00:35:55,440 --> 00:36:00,000
Speaker 1: there you go. All right, So we're moving to our question. Second,

760
00:36:00,840 --> 00:36:03,319
Speaker 1: this is from somebody who has a question about sort

761
00:36:03,320 --> 00:36:06,480
Speaker 1: of planning and kids. So she has a fifth grader

762
00:36:06,520 --> 00:36:08,440
Speaker 1: that will be a rising sixth grader soon, and she

763
00:36:08,480 --> 00:36:11,279
Speaker 1: wants to know how can I help him organize his assignments.

764
00:36:11,640 --> 00:36:13,640
Speaker 1: I've been talking to friends that have high schoolers and

765
00:36:13,680 --> 00:36:17,200
Speaker 1: college age kids that still struggle with their school work.

766
00:36:17,560 --> 00:36:19,920
Speaker 1: The stakes for them are obviously so much higher. So

767
00:36:19,960 --> 00:36:21,520
Speaker 1: she wants to know what she can do to help

768
00:36:21,560 --> 00:36:27,160
Speaker 1: her child build good habits now. So, Sarah, what would

769
00:36:27,160 --> 00:36:27,920
Speaker 1: you suggest.

770
00:36:28,960 --> 00:36:31,440
Speaker 2: There's no one size fits all, but like one thing

771
00:36:31,480 --> 00:36:35,440
Speaker 2: to think about, depending on the kid's personality, is making

772
00:36:35,480 --> 00:36:38,640
Speaker 2: something very visible and very physical. So I do think

773
00:36:38,680 --> 00:36:41,480
Speaker 2: sometimes like something like a whiteboard can be helpful for

774
00:36:41,520 --> 00:36:44,200
Speaker 2: a kid that has multiple activities, multiple classes, different due

775
00:36:44,280 --> 00:36:46,680
Speaker 2: dates and things. And at least one of my kids

776
00:36:46,920 --> 00:36:49,920
Speaker 2: actually she uses a planner now, but we've done the

777
00:36:49,920 --> 00:36:52,760
Speaker 2: whiteboard approach in the past to kind of help demonstrate like, Okay,

778
00:36:52,800 --> 00:36:54,640
Speaker 2: if you have like dance that goes late this night,

779
00:36:54,640 --> 00:36:56,360
Speaker 2: and you have soccer that goes late this night, like

780
00:36:56,680 --> 00:36:58,279
Speaker 2: what's the only night you have to get things done?

781
00:36:58,320 --> 00:37:00,840
Speaker 2: And actually seeing it in some kind of form and

782
00:37:00,880 --> 00:37:02,239
Speaker 2: a whiteboard is nice because you don't have to be

783
00:37:02,239 --> 00:37:04,080
Speaker 2: precious about it. You can raise stuff, you can you know,

784
00:37:04,160 --> 00:37:07,080
Speaker 2: start the week all over again, whatever. But it just

785
00:37:07,120 --> 00:37:09,680
Speaker 2: makes things physical. I think that is one tool to

786
00:37:09,719 --> 00:37:13,240
Speaker 2: potentially play with. That said, kids' preferences are going to vary,

787
00:37:13,320 --> 00:37:15,279
Speaker 2: and keep in mind a lot of the tools to

788
00:37:15,320 --> 00:37:16,880
Speaker 2: manage this stuff are going to be digital now. I

789
00:37:16,880 --> 00:37:18,640
Speaker 2: mean it's going to be Google classroom, but you still

790
00:37:18,680 --> 00:37:21,080
Speaker 2: have to help them cultivate the habit of looking ahead

791
00:37:21,080 --> 00:37:23,160
Speaker 2: at Google classroom and seeing what's doue and make sure

792
00:37:23,160 --> 00:37:24,719
Speaker 2: you've checked everything off at the end of the day,

793
00:37:24,760 --> 00:37:28,480
Speaker 2: et cetera. I also just have to say paying attention

794
00:37:28,560 --> 00:37:31,839
Speaker 2: to what the screen distractions are during worktime is going

795
00:37:31,880 --> 00:37:36,040
Speaker 2: to be important because nothing makes homework impossible like trying

796
00:37:36,080 --> 00:37:37,280
Speaker 2: to do TikTok.

797
00:37:37,320 --> 00:37:41,480
Speaker 1: At the same time, it tends not to go that well.

798
00:37:42,280 --> 00:37:44,919
Speaker 1: Each takes quite as long. You're doing bad tiktoks and

799
00:37:45,080 --> 00:37:48,279
Speaker 1: you are not getting your homework done. Yeah. I think

800
00:37:48,320 --> 00:37:51,520
Speaker 1: this totally depends on the kid, Like you need to

801
00:37:51,600 --> 00:37:54,280
Speaker 1: tread carefully here, and obviously you know your child best.

802
00:37:54,680 --> 00:37:56,840
Speaker 1: I know. I could tell you I would totally have

803
00:37:56,920 --> 00:37:59,279
Speaker 1: rebelled if my parents made me write my assignments on

804
00:37:59,320 --> 00:38:02,400
Speaker 1: a whiteboard, like not your business, Like, I'll deal with it,

805
00:38:02,520 --> 00:38:05,400
Speaker 1: not you. So I think you need to know if

806
00:38:05,440 --> 00:38:07,520
Speaker 1: your kid is going to do that before you suggest

807
00:38:07,760 --> 00:38:12,160
Speaker 1: anything along those lines. And I would also caution you, like,

808
00:38:12,200 --> 00:38:14,719
Speaker 1: I don't know what your district or the school that

809
00:38:14,760 --> 00:38:16,719
Speaker 1: you are sending your child to where the split is

810
00:38:17,480 --> 00:38:19,720
Speaker 1: a lot of places. K through five is elementary school,

811
00:38:19,760 --> 00:38:22,520
Speaker 1: six through eight or six through nine is junior high

812
00:38:22,719 --> 00:38:26,799
Speaker 1: middle school. It may be entirely different for him next

813
00:38:26,840 --> 00:38:29,919
Speaker 1: year versus this year. He may be moving, in fact,

814
00:38:29,960 --> 00:38:33,640
Speaker 1: from one class this year to multiple teachers next year.

815
00:38:33,680 --> 00:38:36,000
Speaker 1: And if that's the case, I'm not sure that what

816
00:38:36,040 --> 00:38:38,640
Speaker 1: you do now is going to have that much to

817
00:38:38,760 --> 00:38:40,640
Speaker 1: do with what he does in sixth grade. You might

818
00:38:40,640 --> 00:38:42,440
Speaker 1: need to just think of like sixth grade is the

819
00:38:42,480 --> 00:38:45,120
Speaker 1: experimental year where we figure out what it looks like

820
00:38:45,200 --> 00:38:48,600
Speaker 1: when you have assignments from multiple teachers and how we

821
00:38:48,719 --> 00:38:53,400
Speaker 1: juggle them. But if the kid asks for suggestions or

822
00:38:53,440 --> 00:38:57,359
Speaker 1: you want to just like helpfully bring up how you

823
00:38:57,480 --> 00:38:59,879
Speaker 1: track multiple things, right, So it's not that you're telling

824
00:38:59,880 --> 00:39:03,600
Speaker 1: you kid what to do, but you could say, oh, yeah,

825
00:39:03,600 --> 00:39:05,440
Speaker 1: this I remember sixth grade. Yeah, you get a lot

826
00:39:05,440 --> 00:39:08,960
Speaker 1: of assignments from different places, right you know, it's so

827
00:39:09,080 --> 00:39:12,799
Speaker 1: hard for me to manage multiple assignments, Like I'm working

828
00:39:12,880 --> 00:39:15,400
Speaker 1: on projects with three different teams right now, and so

829
00:39:15,440 --> 00:39:17,279
Speaker 1: what I have to do is I have to like

830
00:39:17,360 --> 00:39:20,200
Speaker 1: keep track of them somewhere written so I know when

831
00:39:20,239 --> 00:39:23,000
Speaker 1: all the do dates are. Yeah, you know, if you

832
00:39:23,040 --> 00:39:25,000
Speaker 1: ever want a notebook or anything for that, just let

833
00:39:25,000 --> 00:39:27,319
Speaker 1: me know. I've got it for you. That sort of thing,

834
00:39:27,320 --> 00:39:29,839
Speaker 1: I think. And if you drop the ball on something like,

835
00:39:30,160 --> 00:39:32,000
Speaker 1: oh my goodness, do you know what happened to me

836
00:39:32,120 --> 00:39:34,200
Speaker 1: last night? I thought I was going to be able

837
00:39:34,239 --> 00:39:36,320
Speaker 1: to get to this work on Thursday, and then do

838
00:39:36,400 --> 00:39:38,680
Speaker 1: you remember we had all that issue with the plumbing

839
00:39:38,719 --> 00:39:40,239
Speaker 1: and I was dealing with the plumber and you know,

840
00:39:40,400 --> 00:39:41,960
Speaker 1: all this, and I couldn't do it Thursday, and we

841
00:39:42,000 --> 00:39:44,279
Speaker 1: had to push this thing forward. It was a little

842
00:39:44,280 --> 00:39:47,600
Speaker 1: embarrassing for me at work. Kids love that kind of stuff,

843
00:39:47,600 --> 00:39:49,600
Speaker 1: like when you screwed up, Oh my goodness, Like that's

844
00:39:49,640 --> 00:39:54,560
Speaker 1: actually a bigger teacher than anything else. So I would

845
00:39:54,640 --> 00:39:57,520
Speaker 1: suggest maybe framing it as much I possible term of

846
00:39:57,520 --> 00:40:01,480
Speaker 1: what you are learning, as they fellow student of figuring

847
00:40:01,520 --> 00:40:04,320
Speaker 1: out your time and then just be patient, because I

848
00:40:04,320 --> 00:40:05,839
Speaker 1: think a lot of kids go through a time when

849
00:40:05,880 --> 00:40:08,680
Speaker 1: the work gets tougher and they have to decide that

850
00:40:08,880 --> 00:40:11,600
Speaker 1: they want to do a good job. And if you

851
00:40:11,600 --> 00:40:13,440
Speaker 1: have a kid who generally does, that's great. If you're

852
00:40:13,440 --> 00:40:15,840
Speaker 1: not sure, I would just caution you to be be

853
00:40:16,000 --> 00:40:21,239
Speaker 1: patient and not be yelling and hardline and all about that,

854
00:40:21,280 --> 00:40:23,040
Speaker 1: because you don't want it to be that doing well

855
00:40:23,080 --> 00:40:25,880
Speaker 1: in school is a mommy thing. You want it to

856
00:40:25,920 --> 00:40:28,799
Speaker 1: be that they want to do it, and as much

857
00:40:28,840 --> 00:40:31,880
Speaker 1: as possible, if you can be patient and just encourage

858
00:40:31,880 --> 00:40:35,320
Speaker 1: it when things go right and help the child explore

859
00:40:35,360 --> 00:40:37,440
Speaker 1: feelings if they're upset that they got to see on

860
00:40:37,520 --> 00:40:40,480
Speaker 1: something like that's going to be more helpful long term

861
00:40:40,600 --> 00:40:42,600
Speaker 1: than anything else, because your sixth grade work does not

862
00:40:42,680 --> 00:40:44,719
Speaker 1: matter in the long term. Thinks that it's how you

863
00:40:44,760 --> 00:40:47,720
Speaker 1: build the habits and the motivation that's what matters.

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00:40:48,440 --> 00:40:51,919
Speaker 2: And then the line of habit building and motivation you

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00:40:52,000 --> 00:40:54,600
Speaker 2: doing the planning for them is not going to be helpful.

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00:40:54,640 --> 00:40:56,200
Speaker 2: So as Laura is saying, like sixth grade is a

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00:40:56,200 --> 00:40:59,000
Speaker 2: great time to kind of let them fail. So even

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00:40:59,000 --> 00:41:01,640
Speaker 2: if you're offering tools and offering ideas and like some

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00:41:01,719 --> 00:41:04,160
Speaker 2: tools may resonate like Laura's like I would never wanted

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00:41:04,160 --> 00:41:06,840
Speaker 2: to do that. You're still giving them tools for them

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00:41:07,280 --> 00:41:11,120
Speaker 2: to use and manage it, because I'm watching firsthand as

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00:41:11,120 --> 00:41:14,600
Speaker 2: I see in middle school parents still very much telling

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00:41:14,600 --> 00:41:17,799
Speaker 2: their kids when to do what, like hovering over them

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00:41:17,800 --> 00:41:19,920
Speaker 2: to submit, and I think that's just only going to

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00:41:19,960 --> 00:41:22,719
Speaker 2: backfire later on. I want my kids to learn how

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00:41:22,719 --> 00:41:24,759
Speaker 2: to manage that stuff. That is like part of the

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00:41:24,800 --> 00:41:26,160
Speaker 2: whole point of middle school.

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00:41:26,680 --> 00:41:28,719
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, learning how to do this on your own.

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00:41:29,280 --> 00:41:31,160
Speaker 1: All right, Well, this has been best of both worlds.

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00:41:31,200 --> 00:41:34,719
Speaker 1: We have been talking all things media, media curation, how

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00:41:34,800 --> 00:41:37,239
Speaker 1: to get more out of the media you are consuming.

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00:41:37,800 --> 00:41:39,800
Speaker 1: We will be back next week with more on making

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00:41:39,840 --> 00:41:41,120
Speaker 1: work and life fit together.

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00:41:43,160 --> 00:41:45,920
Speaker 2: Thanks for listening. You can find me Sarah at the

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00:41:45,960 --> 00:41:50,319
Speaker 2: shoebox dot com or at the Underscore Shoebox on Instagram,

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00:41:50,760 --> 00:41:51,120
Speaker 2: and you.

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00:41:51,040 --> 00:41:55,319
Speaker 1: Can find me Laura at Laura vandercam dot com. This

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00:41:55,360 --> 00:41:58,640
Speaker 1: has been the best of both worlds podcasts. Please join

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00:41:58,719 --> 00:42:01,440
Speaker 1: us next time for more on making work and life

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00:42:01,560 --> 00:42:02,240
Speaker 1: work together.