Speaker 1: He looked like he had been through hell and back
Speaker 1: and he's like, I saw things nobody should ever see.
Speaker 1: He goes, have you ever seen the Godfather? And I
Speaker 1: was like, oh, Fox, say no more. Calm down with
Speaker 1: Erin and Carissa is a production of iHeartRadio. Oh, I
Speaker 1: don't think you've ever looked better home Home on the
Speaker 1: Range stars just like us. I mean, Beth Dutton meets
Speaker 1: white trash. I mean, I am just a whitesnake. Became
Speaker 1: a poster child for I don't know, like this is
Speaker 1: my Target tea. I only wear Target the Ranch. I
Speaker 1: don't do my hair anymore. I just roll on a hat.
Speaker 1: I'm disgusting. You're lucky that I put on some lipstick.
Speaker 1: Lipstick on a pig. Get over here. How's your acne update?
Speaker 1: I had to go on antibiotics. I had my neck
Speaker 1: knee finally cleared up. This is so for those of
Speaker 1: you that are new to the podcast. This podcast will
Speaker 1: cover a few things. Aaron being a new mom, me
Speaker 1: being on a ranch, are acne at age forty, respectively.
Speaker 1: And that's kind of all the things that we talk about,
Speaker 1: which gets us to one of our headlines. I'm just
Speaker 1: going to jump right into our headlines because it has
Speaker 1: to do with with a pimple. Yeah, so we have
Speaker 1: a lot to discuss on this podcast. Everyone settle in,
Speaker 1: grab a cocktail, and stay awhile. So this headline says,
Speaker 1: my hinge date was going so well. Then he asked
Speaker 1: to pop my pimple. Rebecca, who goes by Becket That
Speaker 1: was taken aback and humbled when an unidentified man, I
Speaker 1: always love that unidentified man asked to extract the blemish
Speaker 1: on her forehead. I never use apps, and if I do,
Speaker 1: I will mindlessly scroll. Blah blah blah. The pair's second meeting,
Speaker 1: including breakfast and a walk in Central Park, she was
Speaker 1: surprised about how much she liked him. Okay, let's just
Speaker 1: end it there. Have you ever had Jarrett pop a
Speaker 1: pimple for you? Oh no, wait, I heard where Mac
Speaker 1: wants to weigh in already. Yeah, Max got a couple
Speaker 1: on his cheek right now. I was like, yeah, mommy's boying. No,
Speaker 1: but I will say, because mine, I wear everything right here,
Speaker 1: like on my mouth, like blow my chin. That is
Speaker 1: my area from your chin strap? What's that now? I
Speaker 1: don't know, It's just I think it's hormonal. Thick, so,
Speaker 1: but he has it all on his like doesn't currently,
Speaker 1: but if he were to ever break out, it is
Speaker 1: on his back. And that has everything to do with
Speaker 1: wearing a jersey forever and equipment. But I like to
Speaker 1: think I am a full blown dermatologist. I get my tools,
Speaker 1: Q tips and that little like extractor thing. There was
Speaker 1: a time, I kid you not he had a mother
Speaker 1: of one. It was when he was playing. We were
Speaker 1: dating and I was like, can I just get this?
Speaker 1: And He's like, yeah, it exploded like on your back,
Speaker 1: stole diaper on my face almost in my eye. Convinced
Speaker 1: myself I was going to get pink eye, and I
Speaker 1: started screaming, oh my god, oh my god. And he
Speaker 1: turned around. He's like what what And I had it
Speaker 1: all like by my eye. No, bro, and I love,
Speaker 1: don't marry damn. Well, you know, there's a lot to
Speaker 1: love about Jared. We can overlook the where's doctor pimple
Speaker 1: Popper when we need her, By the way, I'm not ready.
Speaker 1: Times when I scroll through our calm down thing and
Speaker 1: all of a sudden one's there and I'm like, oh
Speaker 1: my god, it's breakfast. I mean, I am busy eating
Speaker 1: eggs I am not ready for my God, put the
Speaker 1: sour cream away. I sat like Jane Goodall like like
Speaker 1: she's like going through like Gorilla Zumba is on the
Speaker 1: back getting bugs off. I love popping pimples of my own.
Speaker 1: I like the satisfaction that I get when I especially
Speaker 1: a blackhead and then I don't leave a mark and
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh my god, it's so good, Like I
Speaker 1: get it. Why people like doing that. I have had
Speaker 1: Steve do it before. This is when I know like
Speaker 1: I love someone. He's like, yeah, right exactly because I'm
Speaker 1: like thank you, or I've pointed out like he has one.
Speaker 1: He's like, nope, I don't pick my face like you
Speaker 1: pick yours. I go to town, so I got to town.
Speaker 1: I always get them on my jaw line, which waits
Speaker 1: stop me. If you've heard this before, maybe the outfit
Speaker 1: will tell you that I have too much testosterone in
Speaker 1: my system. I know we're all shocked, and so I'm
Speaker 1: on a spar lacton, which you know I like talk
Speaker 1: about all the time. I don't know why someone didn't
Speaker 1: introduce me. Ifadies and gentlemen, if you have acne, ask
Speaker 1: your dermatologists. If you're not adverse to antibiotics. Of course,
Speaker 1: consult with the doctor before taking any medication. Warning warning
Speaker 1: sparrolactone change my life. Like I still get them, but
Speaker 1: not as bad as they used to. And I've had
Speaker 1: ten fricking rounds of accutane, which God knows what that
Speaker 1: did to my inside over the I know. Any who,
Speaker 1: So what do you think about this story though? With
Speaker 1: the guy? I think, Fanta, you do absolutely, I'm not
Speaker 1: wasting time. If I can't have a guy be honest
Speaker 1: with me and I then go into the bathroom and
Speaker 1: there's something in my teeth or if there's a pimple,
Speaker 1: I will you and I you're the same way you'd
Speaker 1: be like, dude, did you not want to tell me
Speaker 1: that I have a massive ZiT? I'm in true. I
Speaker 1: think it's very true. M h. I think you get
Speaker 1: a house and personal right away. Yep. Yeah, I just
Speaker 1: need to know how big the ZiT was, Like did
Speaker 1: it have like a lot of a white head? Was
Speaker 1: it a little tiny like one little one that you
Speaker 1: can do really quickly, like in between the first and
Speaker 1: second quarter, which Aaron that has done. Sure you're not
Speaker 1: worried that it like back on camera or you just
Speaker 1: put your microphone like this and you'll guys. I always
Speaker 1: put my microphone like this. I mean, I have an
Speaker 1: epic picture of Greg Olsen and I when Greg was
Speaker 1: with the Panthers they were getting ready to play the
Speaker 1: New England Patriots got their ass kicked on Thursday Night football.
Speaker 1: Sorry Coach Rivera, Cam Newton and Greg. I had a
Speaker 1: course on my jaw. I had a monster of one
Speaker 1: that I was like, oh my god. And I looked
Speaker 1: at Greg like this the whole time I was talking
Speaker 1: to him on the dolls and I have a picture
Speaker 1: walking with him on the field and I'm like this, oh, which,
Speaker 1: by the way, I had my hair wait for it,
Speaker 1: half a half down and the part of it was
Speaker 1: like on the side, like I've got things before to
Speaker 1: cover up my acme. I'm not kidding because like that's
Speaker 1: how much I'm like, I or done these strands right here.
Speaker 1: And someone's like, do you want to move the hair
Speaker 1: off your face? No, it's perfectly positioned, thank you. Yeah, Okay,
Speaker 1: let's talk about going on a date with a guy,
Speaker 1: and let's talk about it. I'm sweating so bad. Is
Speaker 1: that this parallax? It's not the conversation either maybe it's
Speaker 1: the fact this house has no AC I smell. I
Speaker 1: know of Aaron andrews Ripe and stays buying a fucking
Speaker 1: air conditioner. Every time we turn around we're at home depot,
Speaker 1: he buys another one. I love that it's freezing. And
Speaker 1: then I'm sotting up hot my god, and he's moving.
Speaker 1: I'm around and I'm like, oh my god. Literally he's
Speaker 1: going upstairs, He's going over here, he's going in the
Speaker 1: living room. I'm like, she's rolling in on the thing,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, Jesus Christ, is where are we? Then
Speaker 1: he's in a headline. But it's how I feel like,
Speaker 1: literally controls my life, my traveling, my home life is
Speaker 1: air conditioning. If it's not going well in my life,
Speaker 1: like you would think I have fifty sist e xits
Speaker 1: on my chin. I mean, the world is not right.
Speaker 1: It's all I talk about. And wants to divorce me
Speaker 1: over I mean, I'm constantly walking up to the bend.
Speaker 1: I'm playing with the thing. Jared's like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: I don't even go into our I don't even want
Speaker 1: to call her our name. She's become like one of
Speaker 1: my loves, my best friend, my Angel. I don't even
Speaker 1: want to go into Angel Connie's room anymore. And today
Speaker 1: I walked in to grab the baby and she goes,
Speaker 1: why are you in here? And I go, I just
Speaker 1: wanted to come down. I can't go in a room
Speaker 1: because it's warm, and it pisses me off. I stand
Speaker 1: under her bent and I like, and then I stand
Speaker 1: on like a piece of furniture to feel it. I'm obsessed.
Speaker 1: You and Steve. Then, because I'm telling you, the middle
Speaker 1: of the night, this guy's rolling around the air conditioning
Speaker 1: unit to each room and I'm like, it's fine. He's like,
Speaker 1: it's not fine. He has to be like freezing for
Speaker 1: it to be fine. How many times did I say, fine, fine,
Speaker 1: we'll move on fine. What were you gonna say? Oh? Yeah, okay.
Speaker 1: So this was a little headline last week because a
Speaker 1: we love him a lot. Maxtell's new godfather, Travis Kelsey kidding,
Speaker 1: not really, will you do it? He'd be? I just
Speaker 1: kid't gonna say. He'd be an unbelievable Imagine the first
Speaker 1: birthday party present he would send. Then forget you. Imagine
Speaker 1: the outfit he'd wear to the Suff're right, I mean
Speaker 1: I have it when he was not in camp, and
Speaker 1: he's walking in with his glasses and his Louis Vaton
Speaker 1: cologne and all my single girlfriends like the bouncy house
Speaker 1: would be. You know, you get it all right, Let's
Speaker 1: move on. Okay. So Travis explain on his New Heights podcast,
Speaker 1: Thanks for the invite, Travis and Jason for being on
Speaker 1: that he was disappointed because he went to the concert
Speaker 1: in Kansas City, and she said, I was disappointed that
Speaker 1: she doesn't talk before or after her shows because she
Speaker 1: has to save her voice for the forty four songs
Speaker 1: she sings. So I was a little quote unquote but hurt.
Speaker 1: I didn't get to hander one of the bracelets I
Speaker 1: made for her. Basically on his friendship bracelet, he had
Speaker 1: his phone number in hopes of giving it to the
Speaker 1: singirl singer. Here's the thing. Yes, I'm going to say us.
Speaker 1: Somebody tweeted us, and I don't know if you saw it.
Speaker 1: Be like, don't be sad, Travis, especially when you have
Speaker 1: Aaron and Carissa throwing game at you. We're not throwing
Speaker 1: game at him. He knows. Yeah, are hot, older brother,
Speaker 1: Yeah exactly. Well, actually I'm older. That sucks, and you're
Speaker 1: older than everyone. These are children we're covering now, and
Speaker 1: he's just a good friend. I'm got excited to really
Speaker 1: ask for my ID at the door the other day
Speaker 1: and I was like, I haven't been parted big well
Speaker 1: we ask everyone. I was like, oh, well you could
Speaker 1: have shot. They leave that out, So I'm not going
Speaker 1: to leave this out. Taylor. I don't know what you
Speaker 1: are doing in your life right now besides rocking the
Speaker 1: world or rocking the United States. When an amazing, amazing
Speaker 1: concert that I'm bummed out. I'm not going to be
Speaker 1: able to make this summer in LA. But I will
Speaker 1: say this, if you are looking for a guy, if
Speaker 1: I hadn't want a good time, oh yeah, no, it's Mac.
Speaker 1: Please try our friend Travis. He is fantastic. I mean
Speaker 1: all four quarters. I mean this is not a first half.
Speaker 1: It's a little late now right because he's in the
Speaker 1: middle of camp. He's punching people, just kidding. He's fine.
Speaker 1: But I just this is one Taylor. I know we're
Speaker 1: not the best of friend, we're not even friends, but
Speaker 1: I consider you one. Take us up on this. Don't
Speaker 1: want a date with this guy? You would have it.
Speaker 1: I was just gonna say, do it. For yourself, do
Speaker 1: it for us, and do it for the people, because
Speaker 1: there's no one that would give you a better time
Speaker 1: than this guy. I mean I say that even like platonically,
Speaker 1: Like if you're not interested romantically, just go on a date,
Speaker 1: because I mean, a time is to be had. I'm
Speaker 1: just trying to Travis Kelsey likes to say, you got
Speaker 1: to fight for your right to date him. Yeah, so Taylor,
Speaker 1: if you have a hot second, try to find that
Speaker 1: friendship bracelet you know what I mean? Trav what a guy?
Speaker 1: Where I have to wait, We'll just let's open this
Speaker 1: up and we'll ask him when he's because he's agreed
Speaker 1: to come on our podcast with his brother at some
Speaker 1: point before the season starts. But I want to ask
Speaker 1: him what his perfect first date is. I can only imagine,
Speaker 1: like what that guy's doing. He's like at medieval times.
Speaker 1: He's like, come on, we're going to watch the ponies
Speaker 1: and have a sign of beer or something. Take it
Speaker 1: up like a piece of meat with his hands. But
Speaker 1: a guy. What a guy? And you would tease it
Speaker 1: on the show and said he had a little gifty
Speaker 1: poo for his new god son. Yes, Travis Kelsey, he
Speaker 1: insane is so adorable. He was like, I want to
Speaker 1: get Aaron something, and so then it didn't work out
Speaker 1: what we were gonna get you. But then this character
Speaker 1: Aaron sends me a picture of a Yes, we'll say it,
Speaker 1: because again I now don't buy anything expensive because it
Speaker 1: just gets stolen. He buys mac a Louis Vauton outfit.
Speaker 1: I can't handle it. Looks like with the sweet a
Speaker 1: game like it is. You have to you have to
Speaker 1: post the picture because it's so so frick and cute
Speaker 1: and it's also like in the middle of like everything
Speaker 1: this guy's got going on. He is so thoughtful. Sends
Speaker 1: it to where you are now, which is obviously like
Speaker 1: he has to ask for the address. He didn't ask
Speaker 1: me for the address. I don't know how he got
Speaker 1: it anyway, No, I was so curious. So anyways, but
Speaker 1: the fact that he would do that, and I was like,
Speaker 1: you're just the best. Anyways, this is our this is
Speaker 1: our huge pro Travis moment. But Taylor, he will buy
Speaker 1: your children amazing clothing, and even if you don't have children,
Speaker 1: he'll buy your friend's children amazing clothes. And you will
Speaker 1: write a fantastic song about him. We'll help you with
Speaker 1: some of the lyrics. He smells so good. We'll work
Speaker 1: on it. Yeah, you'll fall in love with him. And
Speaker 1: here's another headline. This woman fell in love with her mugger.
Speaker 1: You heard me, mugger. This is Crater, not mother muggert
Speaker 1: her in the street. I'm going to tell you right
Speaker 1: now who I'm not falling in love with the five
Speaker 1: dudes that are outside my house on Padam which, by
Speaker 1: the way, if you guys are listening, we're onto you.
Speaker 1: I got a follow up on that, but I won't
Speaker 1: say more. I'm not allowed to anyways. This is the
Speaker 1: headline that means you really do have a follow up. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I was walking down the street where he lives, and
Speaker 1: unfortunately I was mugged, the woman identified as Emmanuela told
Speaker 1: reporters while recounting their first quote first date at a
Speaker 1: media event. Her Robert told his side of the story,
Speaker 1: saying I was going through a difficult situation because I
Speaker 1: didn't have a woman. You know, when I saw her
Speaker 1: photo on the phoneviously he stole her phone, I said
Speaker 1: to myself, what a beautiful brunette. You don't see a
Speaker 1: brunette like that every day. The two are now reportedly
Speaker 1: dating for two years they've been dating. I'm sorry, but like,
Speaker 1: if that's how you meet, that is the weirdest. I
Speaker 1: need more. Actually, I don't need more information on that.
Speaker 1: That's like these crazies that right, men that are in
Speaker 1: jail convicted, like Peterson or like all that. Like, what
Speaker 1: are you doing? Nope, by no, I can't, there's not Actually,
Speaker 1: I totally retract my statement more. I'm like, oh, I
Speaker 1: need more information. I have already heard enough. You're not
Speaker 1: dating the guy that tried to hurt you and steal
Speaker 1: from you. That's not how we should start off the relationship.
Speaker 1: That's that's normally how mine ends. You know. I should
Speaker 1: have just had that fast forward at the beginning, and
Speaker 1: then it could save me a lot of time and money.
Speaker 1: You know. Anyhow, I hate this, but I can't wait
Speaker 1: for the good news about your robbery. Suck it, Okay,
Speaker 1: this one. I know you weren't in a sorority. I was,
Speaker 1: but I saw the title. It was in the Wall
Speaker 1: Street Journal, sorry the headline, and I sent it to Ryan.
Speaker 1: This is crazy to me. Parents hire four thousand dollars
Speaker 1: sorority consultants to help daughters dress and impress during rush.
Speaker 1: What I don't even have to read the rest of
Speaker 1: this story. This is ridiculous. I went to the University
Speaker 1: of Florida. I rushed. I had no clue what I
Speaker 1: was doing. Greek systems pally there, right, Greek system in
Speaker 1: the South is massive. It's like and I guess it is.
Speaker 1: There's a show about it. But basically, there is a
Speaker 1: woman that offers a six hundred dollars seminar for women
Speaker 1: and their mothers. What trying to learn the basics about
Speaker 1: getting into a sorority? Thirty five hundred dollars buys unlimited
Speaker 1: access to sorority mentors who advise. I'm a mentor, guys,
Speaker 1: I'm a mentor and a mother. I was in a sorority.
Speaker 1: Just be cool. Who gives a crap? And by the way,
Speaker 1: if this is the way it's going in the South
Speaker 1: or with these sororities, what are we doing? Yeah, it's
Speaker 1: like two competitive No matter what you're wearing, it shouldn't matter.
Speaker 1: It should matter you know what you're into, if you're
Speaker 1: going to be a good sister, if you're super fun,
Speaker 1: if you are going to help out the community, volunteer.
Speaker 1: We're worried about a stylist for Rush. That's bad, that's
Speaker 1: actually sad. I don't like that this is happening, right,
Speaker 1: And maybe maybe this is an outlier. I don't know,
Speaker 1: but I just think that that's sad that you would
Speaker 1: have to feel pressured. I mean, I guess it's like anything.
Speaker 1: And look, you want to make up good first impression right,
Speaker 1: like to a job interview, you are a nice outfit,
Speaker 1: or if you're going, you know, going on a first
Speaker 1: date or whatever it is. I can't that you. You know,
Speaker 1: there's a little bit of that, you know, the outward
Speaker 1: appearance that you care about, but not the four thousand dollars.
Speaker 1: I didn't even have a stylist when I first started
Speaker 1: in the industry. I was stressing myself from Express and
Speaker 1: a tailor. Then mind what are we doing? Thank you Bb,
Speaker 1: Thank God for Victoria. She gave me five dollars from
Speaker 1: Fox's budget. And I was so excited when I got
Speaker 1: to go to Bbe and get a ruffle top. I know,
Speaker 1: a little sheer ruffle top from Oh my bot is
Speaker 1: Bab's still a thing. I don't know, Boabe, I don't know,
Speaker 1: but I just I got so excited when I would
Speaker 1: wear those shirts, they're terrible. When Vicky sends me Vicky
Speaker 1: is our wonderful stylist that works at Fox, but she
Speaker 1: sends me these like ten years She's like ten years
Speaker 1: ago today, these flashback photos. And I was like, I was,
Speaker 1: I'm not ready for some of the flashbacks that I've
Speaker 1: seen of myself. It has been a wild ride. What's
Speaker 1: the wild ride at Disneyland? Mister Toad's wild ride? There
Speaker 1: we go. You'll be on it with Mac. I can't wait.
Speaker 1: You will, Well, I can't wait to go with him.
Speaker 1: But anyway, So for this sorority thing, I think that's
Speaker 1: sad and just be yourself because well I'm not giving
Speaker 1: advice on getting into a sorority, but just in life.
Speaker 1: And if this is what the sororities are expecting, I'll
Speaker 1: go out on a limb. Shame on you. This is
Speaker 1: not what it's all about. This is crazy. Everyone relaxed,
Speaker 1: dial it down. How do you feel? You know? So
Speaker 1: the other day I said, every time I turn around it,
Speaker 1: so Steve goes how often you turned it around? Huh?
Speaker 1: You always just turning around? You saying go out on
Speaker 1: a limb? How many times you got on that limb? Girl,
Speaker 1: like every day. I love you. I don't know no idea.
Speaker 1: What do we got here? On the on the menu?
Speaker 1: What are we doing? Okay, we have we have so
Speaker 1: many different things. So my new favorite segment on the
Speaker 1: Calm Down podcast is what Aaron has learned as a mother.
Speaker 1: So Mac is officially one month old. Yay Mac, one
Speaker 1: month over the baby? So what have we learned this week?
Speaker 1: So our tip of the week from Angel Connie is
Speaker 1: we okay? So Jarrett and I knew that we had
Speaker 1: a real poopy diaper to take care of this uh
Speaker 1: not this week, but this was the lesson that we learned.
Speaker 1: So it was like, I'll help you. We're sitting here,
Speaker 1: we're together, we're not rushed, We're good to go. So
Speaker 1: we went over and our angel was downstairs going about
Speaker 1: our business. We were handling it, and she came up
Speaker 1: and said, did you guys do a diaper change? And
Speaker 1: we said we did and it went great, and she goes,
Speaker 1: I didn't even hear him screaming because I have to burp. Sorry, guys,
Speaker 1: he was screaming a little, which you added away. Getting
Speaker 1: my kid to burp is a big deal. It's like,
Speaker 1: does not happen so anyways, he was. He kind of
Speaker 1: fusses sometimes when you do a diaper change. Whatever hopefully
Speaker 1: gets over that. Yeah, so we are doing the diaper change,
Speaker 1: and we are doing it in the middle of a
Speaker 1: feeding because, as Angel Connie would say, just like give
Speaker 1: him a little bit, you know, fill him up a
Speaker 1: little bit and then calm him down. You don't want
Speaker 1: to do the diaper change right when he's hungry and
Speaker 1: freaking out, So give him a little bit of food.
Speaker 1: So he's a little bit, you know, fall you you feel,
Speaker 1: let's put him in a position to have some success. Yeah, yeah, exactly,
Speaker 1: not screaming, crying. I'm hungry. I'm hungry. I'm hungry. So
Speaker 1: we do that. So we go over to the changing
Speaker 1: table and we decide to you know, change him. Well,
Speaker 1: what we did was laid him down, his heads to
Speaker 1: his side. We put his bottle in just a little bit,
Speaker 1: just the tip, so he can, you know, just get
Speaker 1: a little bit of the formula. Great, good to go,
Speaker 1: not crying, poopy diaper. We're all set. She comes up.
Speaker 1: How come I didn't hear him crying right then and
Speaker 1: there and we had been caught for some reason. I
Speaker 1: was like, if this was an idea of hers. We
Speaker 1: would have been taught this already. I just looked at
Speaker 1: her and I was like, uh oh, And Jared wouldn't
Speaker 1: even look at her. She says, what it's like, you're
Speaker 1: in trouble, Like the teacher has come and been like,
Speaker 1: why did you not finish your homework? Okay, got it.
Speaker 1: We told her our idea about having the bottle there
Speaker 1: a little bit and she goes, no, uh huh. Why
Speaker 1: why can't we do that? She said, because what if
Speaker 1: you're in the middle of doing it, you open up
Speaker 1: his diaper, he's sucking on the bottle. All of a sudden,
Speaker 1: he's like choking from what's in the bottle. You're gonna
Speaker 1: flip him up and shit goes everywhere, and then you're
Speaker 1: gonna be freaking out. You got shit everywhere. She's right,
Speaker 1: She's always right. Let's just go ahead and fast forward
Speaker 1: to that. She's always right. But you know what here
Speaker 1: this and as I'm sure you're learning, everything is trial
Speaker 1: and error, and obviously she's an incredible resource for you.
Speaker 1: But it's good to make some of those mistakes because
Speaker 1: guess he's not going to do that again. Exactly with Jared,
Speaker 1: this crew. So what's been the hardest part in the
Speaker 1: first month and what's been the best part about being
Speaker 1: a mom In the first month? You have ship flying everywhere.
Speaker 1: That was one of her quotes of the week, And
Speaker 1: you got ship flying everywhere. Hardest part. I would just say,
Speaker 1: every single time you try something, you're wrong. You know,
Speaker 1: it's a lesson. We're ins ful right now. Every time
Speaker 1: we're trying something, it's wrong. Like we had to go
Speaker 1: drive to the pediatrician this week and I'm like trying
Speaker 1: to put him in the car seat and like click
Speaker 1: it in, and that's fricking hard. And then I'm like,
Speaker 1: you know, a little frustrated about whatever. And then I
Speaker 1: get in the car and then she gets out of
Speaker 1: the car and closes my passenger side because I left
Speaker 1: it wide open and I'm getting ready to pull out.
Speaker 1: It's just like, yeah, I'm learning every single time something new.
Speaker 1: And also patients, which I don't have much of. I
Speaker 1: don't either, I have no pati. I want to screw
Speaker 1: this kid up and be like the mother because she
Speaker 1: seems so calm and so great, and I don't want
Speaker 1: to be the asshole that's like, and then the kids
Speaker 1: like that you know because we can't have two of
Speaker 1: me in this house. I was going to tell you though,
Speaker 1: and I think I've said this to you on the phone.
Speaker 1: If I haven't, then I'm going to reiterate it. I
Speaker 1: already see a difference in you though, Like you are soft,
Speaker 1: you are you're so like you as a friend have
Speaker 1: always been incredible and like this is you know, I've
Speaker 1: told you these things before, but like especially in a
Speaker 1: crisis situation, like there's no one that I want near me,
Speaker 1: Like there's no one I want near me, I like
Speaker 1: push everyone away except for like you, because like you
Speaker 1: go into crisis mode, like when any of our friends
Speaker 1: have something, You're like, these are the resources, these are
Speaker 1: the things. And it's a reporter seeing you as a mom,
Speaker 1: like you are softer and like there's just something that's
Speaker 1: like really sweet to watch from afar. You're not going
Speaker 1: to screw them up. And it's like your tenacity and
Speaker 1: like all the things that you went through to bring
Speaker 1: him here is he's not here if you don't keep
Speaker 1: fighting for him and do all these things. So all
Speaker 1: of those things are going to be incredible qualities that
Speaker 1: he has. And give yourself some grace. You have never
Speaker 1: been a mother before. Hello, and it's one month and
Speaker 1: he's just he's alive. That's all that matters, is like
Speaker 1: he's here and you're doing great, bab, you're doing great. Seriously,
Speaker 1: Steve left us the best video. I don't know if
Speaker 1: you saw it. He made Mac a video on his
Speaker 1: one month birthday of the Big Mac, his new anil deal.
Speaker 1: Hold on because Steve didn't even know that while I
Speaker 1: was in Target. Because Steve's rant, and we'll put it
Speaker 1: on our Calm Down podcast to give you guys some
Speaker 1: reference what we're talking about. So Steve my boyfriend, just
Speaker 1: like Mac is his best friend. Yeah, and constantly asked
Speaker 1: about him, like the whole thing. So he is waiting
Speaker 1: for me in Target on one of my seventy five trips.
Speaker 1: I have to go there for different things for the ranch,
Speaker 1: and I come out unbeknownst to Steve. Hold On, I
Speaker 1: did buy Mac stuff. Hold on, wait talk amongst yourself
Speaker 1: can hold on? Anyway, Steve had a great video that
Speaker 1: he sent me about Max nil deal and his first one.
Speaker 1: It's gonna be with McDonald Big Mac, and then he
Speaker 1: cheers Mac with a big Mac eating it, and I
Speaker 1: got very jealous. Because I haven't had a big Mac
Speaker 1: in a while, and I would love that to be
Speaker 1: my kids first and ildal. This is where we'll pause
Speaker 1: and wait till the girl comes back longer than Oh
Speaker 1: my god, are you okay? I moved it? Wait? This
Speaker 1: is because of course I only shop at Target. Now,
Speaker 1: what's that? It's not Louis Vauton. It's a little onesie
Speaker 1: for and cute. This is his ranch ware ranch ware.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, ranch it's a ranchy and those ranch ware. Baby.
Speaker 1: So Steve made a video talking of which I didn't
Speaker 1: know that he was doing, and it's like this bitching
Speaker 1: about not in a bad way, about how long I
Speaker 1: was in Target, and he's like, she's probably buying you stuff.
Speaker 1: And then I came out I watched the video. I go,
Speaker 1: how did you know I was buying him stuff? He goes,
Speaker 1: cause you alway but him stuff. And I was like, well,
Speaker 1: he's my baby, yeah, the big Mac. Like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: you drove while I was in there. You drove to McDonald's,
Speaker 1: got a big Mac and did a whole video. He goes, well, god,
Speaker 1: I could have drove to the McDonald's in Los Angeles.
Speaker 1: You were in there, so long, relaxed Steve. Well, I
Speaker 1: don't know if you know this, because I'm hoping it's
Speaker 1: still Steve's hope that I hope you're getting paid by them.
Speaker 1: It's I hope this is still Steve's email address. We
Speaker 1: made Mac an email, and so we jarreed and I
Speaker 1: will write him emails and then we're going to give
Speaker 1: him the password when he's eighteen. You have to you
Speaker 1: have to explain what this is because I think it's
Speaker 1: the cutest thing. Oh well, so we just made him
Speaker 1: an email and so like on the day he was born,
Speaker 1: we wrote him and then on his one month, you know,
Speaker 1: we just sent him random emails like if Jared's like, oh,
Speaker 1: I'm sitting here right now and you're with me and
Speaker 1: like this you just took a big dup or something
Speaker 1: like that. But Steve made this video for him on
Speaker 1: his one month birthday. So I forwarded it to Mac
Speaker 1: with Steve on it, and I said, Uncle, Steve, one month,
Speaker 1: you know, birthday tribute to you. So I I've got
Speaker 1: to find out if that's still Steve's email because I
Speaker 1: afforded him the MAC address. Oh my god, that's so cute. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we'll put it on there anyways, So he like loves
Speaker 1: he can't get enough of Mac and he'll like randomly
Speaker 1: be sitting there. He's like, I wonder what Max Stone
Speaker 1: right now, I'm like sleeping probably one of three things, sleeping, sleeping, eating,
Speaker 1: or yeah, crying. Okay, so you had an experience on
Speaker 1: the ranch with one of your children. So yeah, I'm
Speaker 1: not a mother to humans. I am a mother to animals,
Speaker 1: and I know Aaron's gonna try to which, by the way,
Speaker 1: I'm happy to open up this conversation for another podcast
Speaker 1: because I would love everyone's input. So I'm in a
Speaker 1: place right now. This is not a tangent. This is
Speaker 1: just a quick like comment. Ninety nine percent sure I
Speaker 1: don't want children. Aaron's convinced that I have to have one,
Speaker 1: and she's going to try to convince me to do so,
Speaker 1: which I am open to all things. I've done one
Speaker 1: round of eggue freezing. I need to do another. She
Speaker 1: teks to me about it all the time. So as
Speaker 1: soon as the Spirolactron's out of my system, never I
Speaker 1: think I need to do another. Realm. So, anyways, I
Speaker 1: have animals as my children right now, had seven had
Speaker 1: as in past tense had seven of these longhorn steers
Speaker 1: that I inherited when I bought the property. I love
Speaker 1: these things, like when we go out and like we're
Speaker 1: touring around and like on this little mule thing, like
Speaker 1: I can't wait to see them. I feed them apples.
Speaker 1: I get so excited. One day up here, like last week,
Speaker 1: We're driving on like the road and I came around
Speaker 1: the corner and one of the cows was on his
Speaker 1: side and knew right away that he was dead, and
Speaker 1: so then I started crying, and then I started freaking out,
Speaker 1: like I don't I'm not good at estimating weight. It's
Speaker 1: a cow like massive cows, right shit, yeah, these longhorned cattles.
Speaker 1: And I'm like bears, I'm like animals. Like then I'm
Speaker 1: like mountain lions, Like all of these things are gonna come.
Speaker 1: This is like national geographic. This is a dead cow.
Speaker 1: Of course there's gonna be other animals. I didn't think.
Speaker 1: Now the vultures are overhead. I'm like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: and my dad was coming to visit. In my dad's
Speaker 1: here now visiting, which, by the way, is a whole thing.
Speaker 1: Scott Thompson is brought his work boots He even packed
Speaker 1: his own work gloves. He goes, oh, well, I wasn't
Speaker 1: going to wear some of yours. You got to have
Speaker 1: ones that are broken in. Who packs her own work gloves? Yeah,
Speaker 1: he goes, your mom's really missing out. My mom wouldn't
Speaker 1: come because she didn't want to leave her flowers in Seattle.
Speaker 1: She goes, Look, my flowers are only in bloom for
Speaker 1: three months out of the year in Seattle. She goes, Scott,
Speaker 1: I can't come. Oh my god, your mom is going
Speaker 1: to be so jealous when she realizes, like just what
Speaker 1: a treasure in that place is. Oh my god. She's
Speaker 1: so she's like, oh, well, I'll come eventually. My dad goes, well,
Speaker 1: now you're not invited. This was a one time invite. Yeah.
Speaker 1: So we're just sending her all these pictures and being like,
Speaker 1: oh wish you were here. Anyways, Sorry, kath enjoy your flowers.
Speaker 1: There's also flowers here, weirdo. Any who, Scott's on fire
Speaker 1: here and there's like not a project he doesn't want
Speaker 1: to tackle. That said, I'm like, I can't have my dad,
Speaker 1: so you and I are Daddy's girls, like my whole
Speaker 1: You should just see me. I was a psychopath, like
Speaker 1: wanting to get everything perfect before he came in. Not
Speaker 1: that like this is a therap conversation. I don't. My
Speaker 1: dad would be fine if I didn't do one thing
Speaker 1: before he came. But I just have this thing. I
Speaker 1: want my dad to be proud of me. I want
Speaker 1: my dad because he's, you know, been a hard worker,
Speaker 1: like my mom and dad had my sister when they
Speaker 1: were eighteen, Like they've always just worked so hard, like
Speaker 1: their whole life on everything and even oh my god,
Speaker 1: you should have seen Steve and I before we picked
Speaker 1: up my dad at the airport and go we got
Speaker 1: to get the car washed. My dad will kill me
Speaker 1: if this car is dirty. I was like, we can't
Speaker 1: pick him up and have a dirty car because then
Speaker 1: this is what the face he's gonna let him make
Speaker 1: hmm and'll and then I'm thinking he's gonna help breaking
Speaker 1: it anything. Yeah, but there was dust everyone. I was like,
Speaker 1: so you should have seen Steve. He takes his T
Speaker 1: shirt and he's like windexing the like way he goes.
Speaker 1: He can't he can't see the spots he's gonna know. Anyways,
Speaker 1: I love my dad. I want my dad's approval just
Speaker 1: because I want him to be proud of me. Okay,
Speaker 1: we get it. So I'm like, there's a fucking dead
Speaker 1: cow here, like and now I'm crying about the cat.
Speaker 1: Then ask cow. So now we got to get a bulldozer.
Speaker 1: We got to bury the cow because we can't leave
Speaker 1: this cow out there. Well, and then there's like a
Speaker 1: whole other like sub story to this about you're supposed
Speaker 1: to save the horns is like a tribute and I'm like,
Speaker 1: I can't. I can't do all this. So there's all
Speaker 1: these different things. Thank God for Tony and thank God
Speaker 1: for Steve because with Tony's dad dad's help, they knew
Speaker 1: what to do. I didn't participate. I just said a
Speaker 1: little prayer and was sad for the cow. So that
Speaker 1: was Wednesday, and your boyfriend stood up to the place
Speaker 1: like he stood up. He dealt with it, and he
Speaker 1: told him jar and I FaceTime him. He looked like
Speaker 1: he had been through hell and back and he's like
Speaker 1: I saw things. Nobody. He goes, have you ever seen
Speaker 1: the Godfather? And I was like, oh, Fox, say no more.
Speaker 1: I don't want to know anything because I just want
Speaker 1: to like yeah, anyways, and then he killed a Rattlesnake.
Speaker 1: He was so proud of himself. This guy's really earning
Speaker 1: his girl scout stripes over here, boy scout, you know
Speaker 1: little vest that he's going to be wearing. But yeah,
Speaker 1: so it was sad, but it's also great. So many
Speaker 1: different projects, so many different things. The baby chicks are growing.
Speaker 1: I know you don't care about that. Yeah, you don't
Speaker 1: care about that. So many eggs. Oh my god, every
Speaker 1: day egg I feel I'm like always surprised. I'm like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, look there's another egg. It's like, do
Speaker 1: you even eat eggs? Like when you have an egg
Speaker 1: in the morning. Oh, Steve this morning made biscuits and
Speaker 1: scrambled eggs for my dad and I. Oh yeah, just
Speaker 1: kay what it is? Jared? And we need I've been
Speaker 1: looking for a Jarrett my whole life and finally found it. Anyways,
Speaker 1: So yeah, Ranch life is great. I only have a
Speaker 1: few more days of it because then we are back
Speaker 1: to life, back to reality. It is July thirty first,
Speaker 1: as we record this episode, and you and I are
Speaker 1: back at it. I have a game, well that preseason game,
Speaker 1: but we are. We've been saying this for months. Are
Speaker 1: Punky Brewster? Is that you also look at all your
Speaker 1: own hair. Oh god, this is one thing you guys
Speaker 1: are just listening. Aaron's hair is like luscious locks. No
Speaker 1: it's not. It's gonna it's about to be all fried
Speaker 1: off because of all the styling we're going to do.
Speaker 1: That's one thing. As much as I do love our job,
Speaker 1: can I tell you one thing I don't want to do?
Speaker 1: Dress up? Pack wear a ton of makeup. That's it.
Speaker 1: I love it, and I think I wanted you to
Speaker 1: look this. I'm a boy. I'm a straight up boy.
Speaker 1: I stink. I don't do my hair. I just throw
Speaker 1: on a hat and I put on makeup the other
Speaker 1: day because I actually had to be on like a
Speaker 1: real call for I don't know, try to make money
Speaker 1: to pay for this ranch. I got off there and
Speaker 1: I was like, what is this paint by numbers I'm
Speaker 1: doing with my face? Like I look a hundred. I
Speaker 1: used to wear so much makeup, so much makeup, and
Speaker 1: even when I put it on now, I'm like, I
Speaker 1: feel like it makes me look older. It makes anyone else.
Speaker 1: All you girls that are wearing so much makeup, stop it,
Speaker 1: take it off, stop it, put it tails on it,
Speaker 1: take off your makeup and the window. Put that down
Speaker 1: too while you're at it. Here's the thing, I just like,
Speaker 1: can you imagine if we got to do a football
Speaker 1: game in just like a baseball hat, a T shirt? Wow?
Speaker 1: T shirt? Oh okay, actually, actually it would be this.
Speaker 1: It would be this. I wonder who we're talking about AnyWho?
Speaker 1: So wonder Yeah? My god, who sings that? Uh? Thank you?
Speaker 1: Kurt Kurt from love Field. Kurt are wonderful producer who's
Speaker 1: filling in for Ryan as a producer. Kurt also has
Speaker 1: the unenviable task of putting these episodes together and editing
Speaker 1: out things and making captions where we'll text him later
Speaker 1: and be like, oh, can you actually check that out?
Speaker 1: That might get us in trouble. So imagine the unedited Kurt.
Speaker 1: Kurt knows where all the bodies are buried at this point,
Speaker 1: and the cab at this point. My god, what a time?
Speaker 1: All right, girl? I love you and I'm so proud
Speaker 1: of you. You are a mom of a one month
Speaker 1: old baby. You're doing great, and he's just as cute
Speaker 1: as can be and I just love, love, love love
Speaker 1: love him. And you are killing rattlesnakes. You are getting
Speaker 1: the eggs in the morning. You are hanging the cow's
Speaker 1: head to save that. No, God, you were really even
Speaker 1: our boss. God love him. Eric Shangsy used to had
Speaker 1: a moment in Vegas. Yes, we were all over served.
Speaker 1: But he goes, I am so proud of you, Kurt.
Speaker 1: He did say that, and I was like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: thank you for saying that. Shanks. Well, I can't wait
Speaker 1: to give him the update. Oh my god, he's being
Speaker 1: on that text shame. I will two weeks later. But
Speaker 1: that's fine. He's busy. Go Usa. I love you. Give
Speaker 1: Mack a kiss for me and you guys, as we
Speaker 1: say every week, seriously, thank you for caring about our lives.
Speaker 1: Thank you for caring about our pregame submitting questions, and
Speaker 1: please weigh in on two things. I need help on
Speaker 1: the window the protocol on the windows situation took putting
Speaker 1: that down in the morning. And also for all of
Speaker 1: you that want children or don't want children, I think
Speaker 1: this is an important conversation. Yes, and all you massive
Speaker 1: swifty fans, help us get your girl to go on
Speaker 1: a date with Godfather. Speaking of Godfather, Travis Kelsey, come on, Taylor,
Speaker 1: that's I feel like we're doing a petition to like
Speaker 1: get a law past. We're like, we're collecting as many
Speaker 1: signatures as we can to encourage Travis Kelsey and Taylor
Speaker 1: Swift is the next couple any who Love you Guys,
Speaker 1: love you, E Bye, Kurt. Calm Down with Erin and
Speaker 1: Carissa is a production of iHeartRadio. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio,
Speaker 1: visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get
Speaker 1: your podcasts.