1 00:00:00,200 --> 00:00:03,480 Speaker 1: Now here's a highlight from Coast to Coast am on 2 00:00:03,560 --> 00:00:06,960 Speaker 1: iHeartRadio and welcome back to Coast to Coast George Nori 3 00:00:07,080 --> 00:00:09,440 Speaker 1: with you. Doctor Donna Marks with us has been a 4 00:00:09,480 --> 00:00:14,040 Speaker 1: licensed psychotherapist and addictions counselor in Palm Beach, Florida for 5 00:00:14,120 --> 00:00:17,440 Speaker 1: more than thirty years. In the nineteen eighty nine, doctor 6 00:00:17,480 --> 00:00:21,079 Speaker 1: Marks developed a chemical dependency training program at Palm Beach 7 00:00:21,120 --> 00:00:24,279 Speaker 1: Community College, which has now grown into a four year 8 00:00:24,320 --> 00:00:28,120 Speaker 1: degree and received the Florida Governor's Council Award. She also 9 00:00:28,160 --> 00:00:31,840 Speaker 1: teaches a course in miracles along with charryon her methods 10 00:00:31,840 --> 00:00:36,080 Speaker 1: with hundreds of thousands of listeners on podcasts and radio shows. Donna, 11 00:00:36,159 --> 00:00:39,200 Speaker 1: welcome to the program. Thank you for having me. I'm 12 00:00:39,280 --> 00:00:41,839 Speaker 1: very excited. We're gonna have a great night tonight. And 13 00:00:41,960 --> 00:00:46,040 Speaker 1: tell me how do we do a program on teaching 14 00:00:46,080 --> 00:00:49,080 Speaker 1: a course in miracles and also work on addictions. How'd 15 00:00:49,080 --> 00:00:52,360 Speaker 1: you tie those two together? Well, they're very related. A 16 00:00:52,440 --> 00:00:58,040 Speaker 1: course of miracles was developed through a psychological system. There 17 00:00:58,160 --> 00:01:03,040 Speaker 1: was a woman who was a psychiatrist at Columbia University 18 00:01:03,440 --> 00:01:05,760 Speaker 1: and she felt that there must be a better way 19 00:01:05,760 --> 00:01:09,640 Speaker 1: of doing things. And she was actually agnostic was not 20 00:01:09,800 --> 00:01:12,160 Speaker 1: miracle minded at all, but just the fact that she 21 00:01:12,319 --> 00:01:16,080 Speaker 1: had that thought. She started to have dreams and she 22 00:01:16,520 --> 00:01:20,360 Speaker 1: began to channel a voice that told her to take notes, 23 00:01:20,920 --> 00:01:23,680 Speaker 1: and she resisted it for a long time. She thought 24 00:01:23,760 --> 00:01:26,560 Speaker 1: she was losing her mind. She spoke. Her name was 25 00:01:26,640 --> 00:01:29,280 Speaker 1: doctor Helen Chuckman, and she spoke with her colleague, doctor 26 00:01:29,280 --> 00:01:32,440 Speaker 1: William Thetford, and he said, you're not crazy. Take notes. 27 00:01:33,480 --> 00:01:35,600 Speaker 1: Out of that came a course of miracles, which is 28 00:01:35,720 --> 00:01:40,240 Speaker 1: very much a psychoanalytical nature. I'm also a psychoanalyst. And 29 00:01:40,400 --> 00:01:43,920 Speaker 1: it tells us that everything that's happening to us and 30 00:01:44,040 --> 00:01:48,000 Speaker 1: our reactions to life are because of our past, and 31 00:01:48,120 --> 00:01:51,600 Speaker 1: it helps us to realize that we are choosing from 32 00:01:51,680 --> 00:01:54,920 Speaker 1: fear most of the time instead of love. And how 33 00:01:54,960 --> 00:01:58,880 Speaker 1: that ties in with addictions is that we stay connected 34 00:01:58,920 --> 00:02:03,480 Speaker 1: to our addictions because we are substituting those addictions for love, 35 00:02:03,840 --> 00:02:06,200 Speaker 1: and we are afraid to let go of those things 36 00:02:06,240 --> 00:02:10,480 Speaker 1: that we may suffer. We may feel the underlying cause 37 00:02:10,560 --> 00:02:13,520 Speaker 1: of the addiction, which needs to be felt and dealt with. 38 00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:17,120 Speaker 1: So when we choose love, we choose to embrace our humanity, 39 00:02:17,240 --> 00:02:21,240 Speaker 1: embrace our pain, embrace whatever's going on and substitute all 40 00:02:21,240 --> 00:02:27,440 Speaker 1: that fear often labeled as anxiety with love is an addiction, Donna, 41 00:02:27,639 --> 00:02:29,560 Speaker 1: and I want to get into miracles of a second 42 00:02:29,600 --> 00:02:32,560 Speaker 1: here with you. But is an addiction something where people 43 00:02:32,600 --> 00:02:38,560 Speaker 1: are just so obsessed with, whether it's eating disorders, alcohol disorders, 44 00:02:38,680 --> 00:02:45,239 Speaker 1: gambling disorders. Is that what an addiction is drugs? It's 45 00:02:45,280 --> 00:02:49,440 Speaker 1: when we use something to feel better, and in my opinion, 46 00:02:49,600 --> 00:02:53,440 Speaker 1: it's a it's a substitute for love. We get that 47 00:02:53,600 --> 00:02:57,920 Speaker 1: feeling and we go for that feeling instead of feeling 48 00:02:57,919 --> 00:03:01,800 Speaker 1: good about ourselves by doing something that makes us actually 49 00:03:01,840 --> 00:03:07,000 Speaker 1: feel good about ourselves. So addiction is what I believe. 50 00:03:07,040 --> 00:03:11,079 Speaker 1: There's only one and it's that invisible whole inside of us, 51 00:03:11,080 --> 00:03:15,440 Speaker 1: and we're trying to build that emptiness. And so I say, 52 00:03:15,919 --> 00:03:18,600 Speaker 1: the reason that treatment hasn't worked and a lot of 53 00:03:18,639 --> 00:03:22,400 Speaker 1: other methods is because someone will go to treatment for 54 00:03:22,480 --> 00:03:25,920 Speaker 1: alcoholism and then they'll start smoking pot, or they'll quit 55 00:03:25,960 --> 00:03:30,280 Speaker 1: smoking and they'll start eating, they start cocaine and they 56 00:03:30,320 --> 00:03:34,200 Speaker 1: start gambling, or there they start sex. Addiction. I mean, 57 00:03:34,200 --> 00:03:40,640 Speaker 1: it just moves around like a merrio, replace one with another, right, absolutely, absolutely, 58 00:03:40,960 --> 00:03:45,960 Speaker 1: How do you know somebody is addicted? Well, an addiction 59 00:03:46,280 --> 00:03:48,920 Speaker 1: means that you've lost control, and if you're trying to 60 00:03:48,960 --> 00:03:52,280 Speaker 1: control a behavior, you're already addicted. But the key here 61 00:03:52,440 --> 00:03:57,400 Speaker 1: is that you're having negative consequences. You have a decreased 62 00:03:57,440 --> 00:04:01,800 Speaker 1: self esteem. It's the addiction and drains you. It drains 63 00:04:01,840 --> 00:04:06,040 Speaker 1: you of your self esteem, of your finances, of your relationships, 64 00:04:06,080 --> 00:04:10,080 Speaker 1: of your energy. Most important, as human beings, and I 65 00:04:10,120 --> 00:04:14,040 Speaker 1: believe we are all spiritual beings, it drains us of 66 00:04:14,080 --> 00:04:18,160 Speaker 1: that energy and disconnects us from our source, either our 67 00:04:18,200 --> 00:04:22,240 Speaker 1: spiritual source or our source with other human beings, and 68 00:04:22,320 --> 00:04:24,279 Speaker 1: it gets us in the box in the maze, I 69 00:04:24,360 --> 00:04:27,600 Speaker 1: call it. And the more addicted we become, the further 70 00:04:27,800 --> 00:04:29,920 Speaker 1: into the maze we go. And the heart rate is 71 00:04:29,960 --> 00:04:32,680 Speaker 1: to get out, or so it seems. It really isn't 72 00:04:32,680 --> 00:04:35,520 Speaker 1: hard to get out once you have that miracle of 73 00:04:35,600 --> 00:04:38,360 Speaker 1: changing your perception about the whole thing. We'll come back 74 00:04:38,360 --> 00:04:40,560 Speaker 1: in a moment and talk more about addictions who Your 75 00:04:40,560 --> 00:04:43,719 Speaker 1: book is called Exit the Maze. One addiction, one cause, 76 00:04:43,800 --> 00:04:48,000 Speaker 1: one solution. But this course and Miracles fascinates me. Do 77 00:04:48,080 --> 00:04:51,240 Speaker 1: you tap into things that are spiritual and religious or 78 00:04:51,360 --> 00:04:54,640 Speaker 1: is it something else? Well, of course and Miracles is 79 00:04:54,680 --> 00:04:57,279 Speaker 1: definitely not religious, and it makes a point of telling 80 00:04:57,320 --> 00:05:01,560 Speaker 1: you that it's not religious, and personally, you know, religion 81 00:05:01,680 --> 00:05:03,839 Speaker 1: is a problem and it can be an addiction. Also 82 00:05:05,040 --> 00:05:08,359 Speaker 1: learning how to stay connected to our source and to 83 00:05:08,960 --> 00:05:14,000 Speaker 1: stay connected to love and the divine is certainly spiritual, 84 00:05:14,040 --> 00:05:18,279 Speaker 1: but not religious. Well, that's probably absolutely true. What about 85 00:05:18,320 --> 00:05:22,840 Speaker 1: prayer does that come into effect? Well, the Course of 86 00:05:22,920 --> 00:05:26,520 Speaker 1: Miracles doesn't talk that much about prayer, but does have 87 00:05:26,640 --> 00:05:29,320 Speaker 1: three hundred and sixty five lessons, one for each day 88 00:05:29,320 --> 00:05:32,880 Speaker 1: of the year, so that we can meditate on the concept. 89 00:05:32,960 --> 00:05:35,640 Speaker 1: So that the course teaches us, which is how to 90 00:05:35,680 --> 00:05:39,080 Speaker 1: get out of our ego, and that's where addiction resides. 91 00:05:39,640 --> 00:05:43,400 Speaker 1: The ego is always searching and never finding. But the 92 00:05:43,440 --> 00:05:47,279 Speaker 1: ego is also based on all of our past experiences, 93 00:05:47,560 --> 00:05:50,880 Speaker 1: so we're trying to hide from that pain and cover 94 00:05:51,000 --> 00:05:55,159 Speaker 1: it up with addiction. Of course, it's driven by fear, 95 00:05:55,600 --> 00:05:59,120 Speaker 1: and it's the home of anger and guilt where many 96 00:05:59,240 --> 00:06:03,560 Speaker 1: human beings stuck in either feeling angry or guilty. Underneath 97 00:06:03,560 --> 00:06:05,880 Speaker 1: all that is a lot of fear. Fear of not 98 00:06:06,000 --> 00:06:09,640 Speaker 1: being lovable, really is the bottom line. The course teaches 99 00:06:09,760 --> 00:06:14,440 Speaker 1: us through these daily meditations and a textbook to transfer 100 00:06:14,720 --> 00:06:17,960 Speaker 1: over into the place of who we really are, which 101 00:06:18,040 --> 00:06:23,200 Speaker 1: is spiritual. We have a holy spirit. It is a still, quiet, 102 00:06:23,440 --> 00:06:28,080 Speaker 1: loving voice, and we train ourselves to access that voice 103 00:06:28,400 --> 00:06:32,000 Speaker 1: instead of the raucous of the ego. Donna, give us 104 00:06:32,040 --> 00:06:35,839 Speaker 1: your definition of what a miracle is, Well, it's the 105 00:06:35,880 --> 00:06:39,200 Speaker 1: same as the course. It's a change in perception, rather 106 00:06:39,279 --> 00:06:42,599 Speaker 1: than seeing something that's a terrible, horrible thing, seeing it 107 00:06:42,680 --> 00:06:47,680 Speaker 1: as an opportunity to find deeper loves. That's impressible. I'd 108 00:06:47,680 --> 00:06:49,680 Speaker 1: like that. That's impressible. This is your first time on 109 00:06:49,720 --> 00:06:53,400 Speaker 1: the program. Where have you been? I don't know. I've 110 00:06:53,400 --> 00:06:55,640 Speaker 1: been right here in the same place my whole career. 111 00:06:56,040 --> 00:06:59,160 Speaker 1: How many books do you have out? Actually, right now 112 00:06:59,200 --> 00:07:02,799 Speaker 1: I have to read. The first one was called Learn, Grow, Forgive, 113 00:07:03,000 --> 00:07:06,600 Speaker 1: a Path to Spiritual Success. And then I wrote Exit 114 00:07:06,680 --> 00:07:10,760 Speaker 1: the Maze, which is released this week. Actually it was 115 00:07:10,800 --> 00:07:13,880 Speaker 1: released two days ago. It sold out on Amazon right away, 116 00:07:13,920 --> 00:07:16,480 Speaker 1: so we're very excited about that. And then I have 117 00:07:16,560 --> 00:07:20,480 Speaker 1: a third book coming out in April called The Healing Moment, 118 00:07:20,960 --> 00:07:25,160 Speaker 1: Seven Paths to Turn Messes into Miracles. I like that. Well, 119 00:07:25,240 --> 00:07:27,800 Speaker 1: let's make sure you come back on the program when 120 00:07:27,800 --> 00:07:31,800 Speaker 1: that book comes out. Okay, sure, thank you. I've always 121 00:07:31,880 --> 00:07:35,320 Speaker 1: believed that miracles have a lot to do with ability 122 00:07:35,360 --> 00:07:43,040 Speaker 1: of intent and belief that somewhat positive and real. Absolutely, 123 00:07:43,080 --> 00:07:48,200 Speaker 1: if you intend to connect to love and your Holy 124 00:07:48,240 --> 00:07:52,760 Speaker 1: Spirit and you believe that you can, then you will. 125 00:07:52,880 --> 00:07:56,840 Speaker 1: But there's an element there of fates, because you know, 126 00:07:56,960 --> 00:08:00,120 Speaker 1: when we're addicted minded, we want it right now. Okay, 127 00:08:00,160 --> 00:08:04,280 Speaker 1: where's the miracle, where's the money, where's the lover? Where's 128 00:08:04,320 --> 00:08:11,360 Speaker 1: my house? Right exactly? And that's all ego. As we 129 00:08:11,440 --> 00:08:14,560 Speaker 1: evolve and we get more and more connected to who 130 00:08:14,640 --> 00:08:17,520 Speaker 1: we truly are, we know that all good things will 131 00:08:17,520 --> 00:08:20,800 Speaker 1: come in time. We know that we will manifest because 132 00:08:20,840 --> 00:08:23,560 Speaker 1: we are embracing a vision in a dream and our 133 00:08:23,560 --> 00:08:26,920 Speaker 1: purpose of why we're here. And everybody has a purpose. 134 00:08:27,080 --> 00:08:30,320 Speaker 1: Everybody has a mission, and we get lost in the 135 00:08:30,400 --> 00:08:34,640 Speaker 1: addiction maze. So once we connect to that purpose emission, 136 00:08:35,440 --> 00:08:40,240 Speaker 1: we become alive and we become at one width, so 137 00:08:40,280 --> 00:08:42,719 Speaker 1: to speak. And I don't mean this in an eferial way. 138 00:08:42,760 --> 00:08:46,240 Speaker 1: I mean it in a literal way. Our lives change 139 00:08:47,200 --> 00:08:50,280 Speaker 1: slowly like any good thing. You know, you have a 140 00:08:50,280 --> 00:08:53,000 Speaker 1: beautiful garden, but you don't put the seat in the soil, 141 00:08:53,040 --> 00:08:55,960 Speaker 1: and overnight expected to pop up the same thing with 142 00:08:56,040 --> 00:08:59,080 Speaker 1: our own evolution. We have the faith and we know 143 00:08:59,280 --> 00:09:02,000 Speaker 1: that as long as we take care of who we 144 00:09:02,080 --> 00:09:06,520 Speaker 1: are and nurture that true aspect of ourselves and learn 145 00:09:06,559 --> 00:09:10,120 Speaker 1: how to source from love instead of ego, we will 146 00:09:10,200 --> 00:09:13,960 Speaker 1: manifest joy and peace and all the other things. And 147 00:09:14,000 --> 00:09:15,920 Speaker 1: we don't worry about it anymore. We just know it 148 00:09:15,920 --> 00:09:20,280 Speaker 1: will happen. Where does positive thinking come into the mix. Well, 149 00:09:20,320 --> 00:09:23,160 Speaker 1: I think positive thinking is very important. There's been so 150 00:09:23,200 --> 00:09:27,520 Speaker 1: many fabulous speakers about that over their last century. And 151 00:09:27,640 --> 00:09:30,760 Speaker 1: it's the same thing. It's sourcing the part of your 152 00:09:30,760 --> 00:09:36,079 Speaker 1: mind that is divine and creative, and you still have 153 00:09:36,160 --> 00:09:41,360 Speaker 1: to develop that spiritual muscle. Though of fate, who creates 154 00:09:41,360 --> 00:09:44,400 Speaker 1: the miracle? Do we do it individually or is it 155 00:09:44,520 --> 00:09:48,000 Speaker 1: that source out there? Well, the miracle is a change 156 00:09:48,000 --> 00:09:52,199 Speaker 1: in perception. It's a collaborative effort. I have to be 157 00:09:52,240 --> 00:09:56,000 Speaker 1: willing to see something differently, and so I learn how 158 00:09:56,080 --> 00:09:59,520 Speaker 1: to say, Holy Spirit, help me to see this differently. 159 00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:02,960 Speaker 1: And once I do that, I get awarenesses that I 160 00:10:03,000 --> 00:10:05,839 Speaker 1: did not have before. So in other words, take the 161 00:10:06,000 --> 00:10:08,880 Speaker 1: simple stupid, you know, as a glass of water half 162 00:10:08,880 --> 00:10:11,640 Speaker 1: full or half it. If I'm just looking and dwelling 163 00:10:11,679 --> 00:10:14,280 Speaker 1: on them. Now, I don't have enough of whatever I want. 164 00:10:14,320 --> 00:10:17,719 Speaker 1: This that's one state of consciousness. But when I look 165 00:10:17,760 --> 00:10:20,200 Speaker 1: at the glass and say, isn't that wonderful? I have 166 00:10:20,600 --> 00:10:23,200 Speaker 1: half full and I know that it will continue to 167 00:10:23,200 --> 00:10:27,560 Speaker 1: fill up if I'm living in the right consciousness. That 168 00:10:27,720 --> 00:10:30,439 Speaker 1: is the miracle. I would always talk to people, Donna 169 00:10:30,480 --> 00:10:33,319 Speaker 1: and say, is it partly cloudy out? Or is it 170 00:10:33,360 --> 00:10:38,439 Speaker 1: partly sunny? Exactly? And I'm very interested in their responses 171 00:10:38,559 --> 00:10:42,600 Speaker 1: because that tells me volumes about them. And not only that, 172 00:10:42,640 --> 00:10:45,400 Speaker 1: you can take that a step further. If it's totally 173 00:10:45,480 --> 00:10:49,760 Speaker 1: cloudy out, isn't that wonderful? It means that the plant 174 00:10:49,840 --> 00:10:52,480 Speaker 1: is doing what it's supposed to do. There could be rain, 175 00:10:52,640 --> 00:10:55,679 Speaker 1: which I may not want it, but there's poor little 176 00:10:55,760 --> 00:10:58,480 Speaker 1: plants out there needed sure. And so you know, this 177 00:10:58,559 --> 00:11:02,240 Speaker 1: is a divine, one dful, creative process. And when we 178 00:11:02,280 --> 00:11:05,400 Speaker 1: are grateful for the clouds as well as the sunshine, 179 00:11:05,440 --> 00:11:10,440 Speaker 1: we are really at a place of spiritual enlightenment's And 180 00:11:10,520 --> 00:11:13,240 Speaker 1: then we have we source this joy so that no 181 00:11:13,320 --> 00:11:18,000 Speaker 1: matter whether our day is cloudy or sunny inside or outside, 182 00:11:18,080 --> 00:11:22,079 Speaker 1: we are feeling connected and grateful the people who take 183 00:11:22,160 --> 00:11:26,000 Speaker 1: the course in miracles. Why did they take it? Well, 184 00:11:26,040 --> 00:11:28,960 Speaker 1: most people are already searching, like I was. I was 185 00:11:29,040 --> 00:11:31,560 Speaker 1: nearly sober when I heard about it. I was having 186 00:11:31,600 --> 00:11:34,520 Speaker 1: a conversation with a friend of mine and I said, 187 00:11:34,600 --> 00:11:38,839 Speaker 1: I really would like to find some type of spirituality 188 00:11:38,960 --> 00:11:42,880 Speaker 1: course or a church. I'd been all over the place 189 00:11:43,480 --> 00:11:47,240 Speaker 1: in my life trying to connect with something. And we 190 00:11:47,360 --> 00:11:51,000 Speaker 1: started talking about Jesus, and I said, you know, religion 191 00:11:51,040 --> 00:11:55,000 Speaker 1: has gotten so crazy and making people feel guilty and 192 00:11:55,040 --> 00:11:58,280 Speaker 1: they have to be controlled and their sinners. Jesus never 193 00:11:58,320 --> 00:12:02,040 Speaker 1: taught that. He said, love yourself, love one another, I 194 00:12:02,080 --> 00:12:06,000 Speaker 1: love God, and that was his mission. And so when 195 00:12:06,040 --> 00:12:08,120 Speaker 1: I said that, she said, oh, you'd probably like a 196 00:12:08,160 --> 00:12:10,400 Speaker 1: course of miracles. I'm like, what is that? She said, well, 197 00:12:10,400 --> 00:12:12,840 Speaker 1: I don't really know. I haven't taken it, but I 198 00:12:12,880 --> 00:12:15,320 Speaker 1: think you would enjoy it because it sounds like what 199 00:12:15,400 --> 00:12:18,680 Speaker 1: you just said, and it certainly was. I went to 200 00:12:19,080 --> 00:12:21,920 Speaker 1: a Unity church and picked up a copy. She told 201 00:12:21,920 --> 00:12:24,240 Speaker 1: me that's where I could purchase it, and I've been 202 00:12:24,280 --> 00:12:27,719 Speaker 1: studying it ever since, well with doctor Donna Marks. Her 203 00:12:27,840 --> 00:12:31,199 Speaker 1: new book is called Exit the Maze, One Addiction, One Cause, 204 00:12:31,280 --> 00:12:34,160 Speaker 1: One Solution. Her website is linked up at Coast to 205 00:12:34,240 --> 00:12:37,920 Speaker 1: coastam dot com. She also has a full social media 206 00:12:38,040 --> 00:12:41,600 Speaker 1: campaign going on. She's on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube as well, 207 00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:44,480 Speaker 1: and we've got those links for you too at Coast 208 00:12:44,480 --> 00:12:47,640 Speaker 1: to coastdam dot com. So how do people get addicted 209 00:12:47,679 --> 00:12:52,600 Speaker 1: in the first place, Donna? Well, usually not always, but 210 00:12:52,840 --> 00:12:56,240 Speaker 1: usually there's some type of trauma that happens in childhood. 211 00:12:56,280 --> 00:13:00,400 Speaker 1: And it could just be something as mild as feeling 212 00:13:00,480 --> 00:13:04,440 Speaker 1: upset about your pet dying and getting messages like, you know, 213 00:13:04,520 --> 00:13:08,640 Speaker 1: get over it, so they don't ever process the sadness 214 00:13:08,720 --> 00:13:12,640 Speaker 1: in the grief, but more often it's something more major. 215 00:13:13,240 --> 00:13:16,400 Speaker 1: There's one of the things I want to clarify. I 216 00:13:16,480 --> 00:13:20,880 Speaker 1: never blame parents. I made all the mistakes myself as 217 00:13:20,920 --> 00:13:26,360 Speaker 1: a parent, and we pass it in intergenerationally, on and on. 218 00:13:26,760 --> 00:13:29,640 Speaker 1: So it's not to blame anybody, but we have to 219 00:13:29,679 --> 00:13:33,280 Speaker 1: look at it and heal it. Sometimes children are abused. 220 00:13:33,559 --> 00:13:37,959 Speaker 1: Um there's verbal abuse, there's emotional abuse, there's neglect, there's 221 00:13:38,000 --> 00:13:41,520 Speaker 1: sexual abuse. I personally experienced all of them as a child, 222 00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:46,280 Speaker 1: and so that creates a sense of what's wrong with me, 223 00:13:46,800 --> 00:13:52,840 Speaker 1: And with that lack of spiritual and maternal and paternal 224 00:13:53,160 --> 00:13:57,280 Speaker 1: sufficient love, there's that's where that void initially forms, like 225 00:13:57,600 --> 00:13:59,600 Speaker 1: what am I doing wrong? What's wrong with me? How 226 00:13:59,640 --> 00:14:03,760 Speaker 1: come I lovable? And then there's that emptiness. So when 227 00:14:03,760 --> 00:14:08,880 Speaker 1: you're around people, you feel different, you feel separated, and 228 00:14:09,160 --> 00:14:12,000 Speaker 1: then the ego later on in life uses all those 229 00:14:12,040 --> 00:14:14,840 Speaker 1: early memories to keep it churning, keep it going. And 230 00:14:14,920 --> 00:14:20,440 Speaker 1: so the minute that somebody like that has that fix, 231 00:14:20,600 --> 00:14:24,000 Speaker 1: whether it's the sugar fix of ah, this feels so good, 232 00:14:24,120 --> 00:14:26,640 Speaker 1: you know, or the alcohol or the drug or the 233 00:14:26,680 --> 00:14:30,800 Speaker 1: corn or whatever it might be, that feeling is the 234 00:14:30,960 --> 00:14:36,160 Speaker 1: substitute for love and the spirituality that would be there naturally, 235 00:14:36,240 --> 00:14:40,880 Speaker 1: it's naturally an every child. When a child's needs are met, 236 00:14:41,160 --> 00:14:44,960 Speaker 1: they feel happy, they feel good, they feel worthy. But 237 00:14:45,080 --> 00:14:48,800 Speaker 1: when those needs aren't met or they're they're subverted through 238 00:14:48,840 --> 00:14:52,000 Speaker 1: some type of abuse, that child feels deficient and so 239 00:14:52,040 --> 00:14:54,800 Speaker 1: there's always that search to feel Okay, Donna, would you 240 00:14:54,840 --> 00:14:59,640 Speaker 1: say a serial killer is addicted, Well, in a way, 241 00:15:00,800 --> 00:15:04,360 Speaker 1: I mean they have to kill. Yeah, it's a very Yeah, 242 00:15:04,400 --> 00:15:08,200 Speaker 1: it's a compulsion and they're certainly negative consequences, but that 243 00:15:08,280 --> 00:15:12,160 Speaker 1: person has become so disconnected to their conscience and to 244 00:15:12,240 --> 00:15:18,000 Speaker 1: their source that it's very hard to turn around, although 245 00:15:18,080 --> 00:15:22,800 Speaker 1: some people have helped law enforcement to solve crimes, which 246 00:15:22,880 --> 00:15:28,479 Speaker 1: is turning it around. But anything that you're doing despite 247 00:15:28,560 --> 00:15:32,480 Speaker 1: negative consequences would definitely be an addiction, and serial killers 248 00:15:32,560 --> 00:15:35,800 Speaker 1: certainly fall into that category. Is there with an addiction 249 00:15:36,000 --> 00:15:42,080 Speaker 1: and underlining purpose that they're addicted. I mean, I've always wondered, 250 00:15:42,200 --> 00:15:45,960 Speaker 1: you know why somebody can't just stop drinking to excess, 251 00:15:46,720 --> 00:15:50,080 Speaker 1: have a few drinks, enjoy yourself. But don't, you know, 252 00:15:50,200 --> 00:15:53,680 Speaker 1: drink forty drinks at tequila and pass out every night? 253 00:15:54,600 --> 00:15:57,800 Speaker 1: What determines that one person who has one or two 254 00:15:57,880 --> 00:16:03,480 Speaker 1: drinks and has some social fun to somebody who goes overboard. Well, 255 00:16:03,840 --> 00:16:08,120 Speaker 1: when I was doing my research for my book, millions, 256 00:16:08,320 --> 00:16:10,680 Speaker 1: hundreds of millions of people just in the US alone 257 00:16:10,680 --> 00:16:13,720 Speaker 1: have addictions. So they don't realize it. Said the notion 258 00:16:13,760 --> 00:16:15,520 Speaker 1: that you know, you can just have a few drinks 259 00:16:15,560 --> 00:16:18,800 Speaker 1: and enjoy yourself. Some people can, but they may be 260 00:16:18,840 --> 00:16:24,400 Speaker 1: addicted to sugar or food, or compulsive exercise or something else. 261 00:16:25,000 --> 00:16:29,680 Speaker 1: So it's it's a slippery slope, if you will. And 262 00:16:30,240 --> 00:16:34,760 Speaker 1: what happens is that things are made to get us addicted. 263 00:16:35,520 --> 00:16:38,880 Speaker 1: They stimulate that frontal lobe in such a way that 264 00:16:38,960 --> 00:16:42,840 Speaker 1: produces chemicals in the brain. You know, alcohol doesn't need 265 00:16:42,920 --> 00:16:46,160 Speaker 1: to be fifteen proof or twenty proof. You know, it 266 00:16:46,160 --> 00:16:49,560 Speaker 1: could be a lot less alcohol and you would still 267 00:16:49,600 --> 00:16:53,880 Speaker 1: get a mild relaxation, but now it gets you where 268 00:16:53,920 --> 00:16:56,680 Speaker 1: you want to go high. Same thing with a lot 269 00:16:56,720 --> 00:17:00,360 Speaker 1: of the drugs, Same thing with sugar. It has the 270 00:17:00,480 --> 00:17:04,160 Speaker 1: same effect as cocaine on the brain, and so that's 271 00:17:04,200 --> 00:17:09,200 Speaker 1: why it's so refined. Unrefined sugar is not nearly as potent. 272 00:17:09,640 --> 00:17:13,199 Speaker 1: So we know for sure that cigarettes had chemicals added. 273 00:17:13,520 --> 00:17:16,679 Speaker 1: Nicotine is already like one of the most addictive drugs 274 00:17:16,720 --> 00:17:19,280 Speaker 1: on the planet, and they put other chemicals in it. 275 00:17:19,359 --> 00:17:23,240 Speaker 1: So things are made through advertising and through the substances 276 00:17:23,280 --> 00:17:26,040 Speaker 1: in them to get us addicted, or the visual images 277 00:17:26,160 --> 00:17:29,080 Speaker 1: or the video games, and again you know pornography. I 278 00:17:29,080 --> 00:17:32,080 Speaker 1: think one of my researches with like thirty eight thousand 279 00:17:32,200 --> 00:17:37,200 Speaker 1: hits per minute on the Internet. So we've we are addicted. 280 00:17:37,240 --> 00:17:40,080 Speaker 1: We are an addictive society, but it's only because we've 281 00:17:40,160 --> 00:17:43,520 Speaker 1: lost our direction to what we're really trying to get 282 00:17:43,680 --> 00:17:48,359 Speaker 1: is that feeling of being plugged in, feeling good, feeling joy, 283 00:17:48,600 --> 00:17:52,080 Speaker 1: and we're just sourcing in ways that don't work. Are 284 00:17:52,119 --> 00:17:56,560 Speaker 1: there any addictions that are okay or good for you? Well, 285 00:17:56,600 --> 00:17:59,440 Speaker 1: they wouldn't be an addiction, it would be a behavior 286 00:17:59,520 --> 00:18:03,080 Speaker 1: that's good for you. Interesting, Yeah, because that's a defining 287 00:18:03,160 --> 00:18:07,760 Speaker 1: factor there is. What are the negative consequences all about 288 00:18:07,800 --> 00:18:12,639 Speaker 1: addictions that may be not as harmful as another addiction. 289 00:18:13,200 --> 00:18:16,560 Speaker 1: Is that possible or are they all bad? Well, in 290 00:18:16,640 --> 00:18:20,960 Speaker 1: the long term, if we don't intervene on ourselves, they 291 00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:23,520 Speaker 1: can lead to things. Now, when I quit smoking, I've 292 00:18:23,520 --> 00:18:27,280 Speaker 1: started a long distance bicycling and then after that running 293 00:18:27,280 --> 00:18:33,080 Speaker 1: marathons and it was extreme. So so I guess could 294 00:18:33,080 --> 00:18:37,040 Speaker 1: you be addicted to running marathons? Some people are addicted 295 00:18:37,080 --> 00:18:40,159 Speaker 1: and that can be like converted to an addiction to 296 00:18:40,200 --> 00:18:42,320 Speaker 1: your body, you know, like it has to look a 297 00:18:42,320 --> 00:18:46,199 Speaker 1: certain way. You're you're sure, okay, So I mean just 298 00:18:46,200 --> 00:18:48,399 Speaker 1: go Like I said, it's a merry go round and 299 00:18:48,440 --> 00:18:52,119 Speaker 1: it's never ending. But if that makes you physically feel 300 00:18:52,160 --> 00:18:55,760 Speaker 1: better and you're healthier, that's not a bad addiction. Well, 301 00:18:55,800 --> 00:18:58,520 Speaker 1: so exercise is very good for you. I do it 302 00:18:58,560 --> 00:19:02,640 Speaker 1: regularly and it makes me feel good about myself. It's 303 00:19:02,640 --> 00:19:06,320 Speaker 1: a self discipline and I get endorphins and and I'm 304 00:19:06,359 --> 00:19:08,880 Speaker 1: healthier for it. I'm not on any kind of medications 305 00:19:08,960 --> 00:19:12,280 Speaker 1: or anything like that, so that's one thing. But when 306 00:19:12,280 --> 00:19:15,840 Speaker 1: it's taken to an extreme and if I don't do it, 307 00:19:15,920 --> 00:19:19,040 Speaker 1: I'm in a bad mood. I'm yelling at people. I'm 308 00:19:19,160 --> 00:19:21,639 Speaker 1: upset because I didn't get to do my rent today, 309 00:19:22,080 --> 00:19:27,160 Speaker 1: or my body's breaking down because I'm an extreme exercise, 310 00:19:27,840 --> 00:19:30,160 Speaker 1: or I have to take off. That's not good. That's 311 00:19:30,160 --> 00:19:33,679 Speaker 1: not good. That's really where we're abusing ourselves. Listen to 312 00:19:33,800 --> 00:19:37,600 Speaker 1: more Coast to Coast AM every weeknight at one am Eastern, 313 00:19:37,840 --> 00:19:40,280 Speaker 1: and go to Coast to Coast am dot com for 314 00:19:40,400 --> 00:19:40,600 Speaker 1: more