WEBVTT - Pricey Gifts and Freudian Slips 0:00:09.119 --> 0:00:12.760 And we're back with another episode of Separation Anxiety. I'm 0:00:12.800 --> 0:00:14.520 your host Marcus Jordan. 0:00:14.400 --> 0:00:16.280 And I'm Larsta Pippen, and. 0:00:16.280 --> 0:00:19.919 Today we're talking life in love with Larcus. I love 0:00:20.000 --> 0:00:22.720 that we're talking a little bit about spending, habits, talking 0:00:22.720 --> 0:00:26.000 a little bit about jealousy and a whole myriad of things. 0:00:26.040 --> 0:00:27.319 But let's jump into a babe. 0:00:27.400 --> 0:00:28.480 Okay, I'm ready, let's go. 0:00:28.640 --> 0:00:31.080 So Katie Thurston from season seventeen of The Bachelor that 0:00:31.200 --> 0:00:34.159 says she gifted her then boyfriend John Hershey of a 0:00:34.240 --> 0:00:36.640 new van prior to their breakup. The couple had been 0:00:36.720 --> 0:00:39.000 dating for six months they were living together when he 0:00:39.040 --> 0:00:41.559 broke up with her. He was a bartender and aspiring 0:00:41.760 --> 0:00:44.000 pilot and eventually paid her back for the van, but 0:00:44.000 --> 0:00:46.479 it took a long time because it was expensive. Now, 0:00:46.560 --> 0:00:49.559 Katie says she'll never buy a man a present of 0:00:49.600 --> 0:00:52.720 that caliber again. And So, a babe, what is the 0:00:52.720 --> 0:00:56.040 most expensive gift you've bought your significant other? 0:00:56.280 --> 0:00:58.000 I think when you're a married when you're dating, it's 0:00:58.040 --> 0:00:58.639 two different things. 0:00:58.680 --> 0:01:00.360 Okay, so talk about it. Let's talk. So. 0:01:00.400 --> 0:01:03.960 I think that like when you're dating someone, you there's 0:01:04.040 --> 0:01:07.760 like parameters, like you really shouldn't buy them a car. 0:01:08.080 --> 0:01:10.360 Yeah, I feel like I mean, I. 0:01:10.040 --> 0:01:11.160 Look, I'm not going to say it like that. I 0:01:11.160 --> 0:01:13.120 guess I shouldn't say like that because I have gotten cars. 0:01:13.240 --> 0:01:16.000 You've gotten cars, you've gotten You've received a lot of gifts. 0:01:16.040 --> 0:01:18.280 I feel like I'm saying for a girl, like I 0:01:18.319 --> 0:01:21.600 feel like it's a woman. I would not buy my 0:01:21.680 --> 0:01:25.560 boyfriend a car. However, I have guys buy me cars. 0:01:26.160 --> 0:01:28.600 So I guess it's kind of like you. 0:01:28.560 --> 0:01:30.479 Talk about it from the woman's perspective, I'll talk about 0:01:30.480 --> 0:01:30.920 it from the mass. 0:01:30.920 --> 0:01:33.760 Okay, okay, So from a woman's perspective. I don't think 0:01:33.760 --> 0:01:36.640 that I would buy a man a car if he's 0:01:36.720 --> 0:01:39.520 just a boyfriend. I think if you're my husband, then 0:01:39.520 --> 0:01:42.200 we share everything. You know, you can, I can give 0:01:42.200 --> 0:01:44.000 you whatever you want. You're going to give me whatever 0:01:44.040 --> 0:01:47.199 I want. But I think it's a woman. I don't. 0:01:47.319 --> 0:01:50.040 I just think like men give better gifts than women. 0:01:50.080 --> 0:01:53.280 I think, well, I think you know, for a man, 0:01:53.680 --> 0:01:58.760 you know, oftentimes that's your way of trying to you know, 0:01:59.080 --> 0:02:02.800 get noticed or you know, hook in your your girl 0:02:02.840 --> 0:02:05.200 that you're dating, you know, And so there's been times 0:02:05.200 --> 0:02:08.560 where I've spent you know, an abnormal amount of money 0:02:09.320 --> 0:02:13.560 on trying to impress somebody or get somebody, get somebody's attention. 0:02:13.280 --> 0:02:14.320 I'll say. 0:02:15.040 --> 0:02:17.480 And so I wouldn't say I've bought any cars, but 0:02:17.600 --> 0:02:20.519 I've gifted some things that were, you know, as expensive 0:02:20.520 --> 0:02:22.680 as cars for sure. 0:02:23.160 --> 0:02:25.000 And so I feel like, I feel like you spent 0:02:25.040 --> 0:02:26.040 a lot of money on my birthday. 0:02:26.680 --> 0:02:28.120 I spent a lot of money on you every day. 0:02:28.680 --> 0:02:30.920 I mean, yeah, your birthday. Yeah, I just wanted to 0:02:30.919 --> 0:02:32.600 make it special for you. You know. Again, I think 0:02:32.639 --> 0:02:35.720 you put a lot of value into those type of 0:02:35.720 --> 0:02:39.400 sentimental dates and moments and stuff like that. But you know, 0:02:40.240 --> 0:02:42.720 I feel like every day I'm trying to take things 0:02:42.800 --> 0:02:44.920 up a notch. And so I do feel like, you know, 0:02:45.360 --> 0:02:49.280 as a guy, there is you know, after you started 0:02:49.360 --> 0:02:52.519 dating or whatever your boyfriend girlfriend, I feel like there's 0:02:52.560 --> 0:02:57.840 a scale of like time spent together versus price and 0:02:58.000 --> 0:03:01.280 value of the gifts. I feel like over time you 0:03:01.440 --> 0:03:04.200 constantly have to outdo yourself, you know. So if you 0:03:04.280 --> 0:03:07.520 start off with a million dollar gifts, by year five 0:03:07.560 --> 0:03:10.519 of the relationship, you're up to five million dollars in gifts. Wow, 0:03:10.720 --> 0:03:11.320 Am I wrong? 0:03:11.440 --> 0:03:12.040 Yeah? 0:03:12.080 --> 0:03:13.960 You know? And so I just think that there's a 0:03:14.040 --> 0:03:18.880 double standard when it comes to guy's gifting versus girls gifting. 0:03:19.040 --> 0:03:21.079 Well, you know, my mom taught me this, and she said, 0:03:21.080 --> 0:03:23.240 you know what's the most important gift anyone can ever 0:03:23.240 --> 0:03:24.560 give you? What's that time? 0:03:24.919 --> 0:03:25.799 I agree with that. 0:03:25.720 --> 0:03:27.840 Because I feel like time is something. When someone gives 0:03:27.880 --> 0:03:30.680 you their time, it's more valuable than a gift. 0:03:30.760 --> 0:03:32.360 There's a lot of women out there though, that I 0:03:32.400 --> 0:03:35.880 feel like, are spending time with, you know, a deadbeat dude, 0:03:36.200 --> 0:03:38.720 and they're looking for the other types of gifts. Am 0:03:38.760 --> 0:03:39.040 I wrong? 0:03:39.080 --> 0:03:40.120 Why can't you get both? 0:03:41.000 --> 0:03:43.000 Why can't I mean, sometimes the guy don't have it 0:03:43.080 --> 0:03:44.760 like that, you know, so he's like, look, I'm gonna 0:03:44.760 --> 0:03:46.720 give you all the time I got in the world. 0:03:46.960 --> 0:03:49.960 But you know we're struggling. We grind it together, you know. 0:03:50.240 --> 0:03:52.240 So he might not be able to buy that five 0:03:52.280 --> 0:03:56.800 thousand dollars bag or something like that. So in that scenario, 0:03:56.880 --> 0:03:59.000 is that you would you still date that guy? I 0:03:59.040 --> 0:04:01.240 think so if you was grinding towards something. 0:04:01.360 --> 0:04:03.400 I think so I think that, Like I think like 0:04:03.440 --> 0:04:05.600 if someone makes you feel good and they make you happy, 0:04:05.640 --> 0:04:07.240 then that's like more important than any gift. 0:04:07.360 --> 0:04:09.200 I don't think I don't think so I feel I 0:04:09.280 --> 0:04:11.520 feel like you know again, I think we talked about 0:04:11.520 --> 0:04:14.680 this on our last episode, Like you like a boss, 0:04:14.760 --> 0:04:15.280 you know what I'm. 0:04:15.160 --> 0:04:16.919 Saying, like a boss. But I also grew up. My 0:04:17.000 --> 0:04:18.160 dad gave me everything. 0:04:18.279 --> 0:04:18.719 Of course. 0:04:18.800 --> 0:04:20.760 My dad always gave me gifts. My dad took me 0:04:20.800 --> 0:04:24.000 on shopping spreees like so for me love, Like, if 0:04:24.040 --> 0:04:25.799 you want to show me love, you give me things 0:04:25.800 --> 0:04:28.600 sometimes like I like it, but at the same time, 0:04:28.760 --> 0:04:30.880 like I have my mom who's the total opposite, and 0:04:30.880 --> 0:04:32.840 my mom tells me that, like, these things are not 0:04:32.880 --> 0:04:33.560 going to make you happy. 0:04:33.640 --> 0:04:36.160 Larsa, I feel like there was maybe a point in 0:04:36.160 --> 0:04:39.240 your life, especially when you stepped away from your previous marriage, 0:04:39.279 --> 0:04:41.800 that like you were single, you know, and you've probably 0:04:41.800 --> 0:04:45.400 had a lot of suitors out there, and so sometimes 0:04:45.640 --> 0:04:47.200 can you and I'm going to ask you this, sometimes 0:04:47.240 --> 0:04:50.400 can a woman get tired of too many gifts? Is 0:04:50.440 --> 0:04:51.880 there such thing as too many gifts? 0:04:52.080 --> 0:04:54.000 No, if it's from the right person now, but. 0:04:53.960 --> 0:04:55.839 What if it's not. What if it's from gods just 0:04:55.839 --> 0:04:56.960 trying to buy your love? 0:04:57.440 --> 0:05:02.000 I mean, listen, sounds like a not It sounds like. 0:05:02.000 --> 0:05:03.760 There's no such thing as too many gifts guys. 0:05:03.839 --> 0:05:05.680 No, there's no such thing as too many gifts. But 0:05:05.839 --> 0:05:09.120 I feel like people give you what they have to offer. Okay, okay, 0:05:09.160 --> 0:05:11.920 So some people have gifts to offer, some people have 0:05:12.000 --> 0:05:15.000 time to offer, some people have, you know, love to offer. 0:05:15.040 --> 0:05:17.560 I think it's like, you know, it's what they're offering 0:05:17.600 --> 0:05:19.400 is at that point, and I feel like, you can, 0:05:19.640 --> 0:05:21.080 you can have it all. Why can't you be with 0:05:21.080 --> 0:05:23.960 a guy that's successful and giving. Yeah, there's nothing worse 0:05:24.000 --> 0:05:25.640 than a guy that's successful and cheap. 0:05:25.880 --> 0:05:28.440 Has there ever been a guy that was constantly giving 0:05:28.440 --> 0:05:30.279 you gifts that you just knew you would never be 0:05:30.360 --> 0:05:33.200 with no matter how many gifts? 0:05:34.200 --> 0:05:36.159 Yeah, I think so, Yeah, I think so. 0:05:36.200 --> 0:05:37.239 I guess and vice versa. 0:05:37.920 --> 0:05:40.719 You know, you did you feel like you had to 0:05:40.760 --> 0:05:42.800 give girls gifts because of who you are? 0:05:43.640 --> 0:05:48.240 So that's twofold. Oftentimes when I was dating, when I 0:05:48.279 --> 0:05:50.919 was single and dating, you know, you kind of know 0:05:51.040 --> 0:05:52.720 if it's going to be a long term relationship or 0:05:52.720 --> 0:05:54.919 if it's like a fling, you know, And so I 0:05:54.960 --> 0:05:58.320 felt like a lot of times in my flings, you know, 0:05:58.520 --> 0:06:01.760 I would definitely give a lot of gifts just because 0:06:02.000 --> 0:06:05.040 you know, it's like you're trying to keep somebody happy, 0:06:05.200 --> 0:06:07.960 also trying to maybe you know, buy a little bit 0:06:08.000 --> 0:06:10.360 of silence, not have people go in public, you know, 0:06:10.400 --> 0:06:12.760 because when you're dating you not necessarily, you know, not 0:06:12.839 --> 0:06:16.320 everybody meets the boyfriend girlfriend's standard. Am I am? I right? 0:06:16.400 --> 0:06:16.919 No, I hear you. 0:06:17.120 --> 0:06:19.040 And so you know, there was there were some flings 0:06:19.040 --> 0:06:21.599 out there that maybe got some shoes or a bag 0:06:21.839 --> 0:06:24.320 or you know, some clothes from trophy room or something 0:06:24.360 --> 0:06:26.840 like that. And you know that's how I go That's 0:06:26.839 --> 0:06:29.359 how I went back then got it. Now I'm saving 0:06:29.400 --> 0:06:31.360 all my money so I can buy you the world. 0:06:31.960 --> 0:06:34.280 I love that. I love you. That's okay, I love 0:06:34.320 --> 0:06:34.600 you too. 0:06:35.279 --> 0:06:37.760 Have you ever regretted buying something expensive for a partner? 0:06:38.240 --> 0:06:39.919 Actually I do, Yeah, I do. 0:06:40.080 --> 0:06:40.960 Can we talk about it? 0:06:41.680 --> 0:06:42.040 Sure? 0:06:42.279 --> 0:06:44.279 Okay, what's up? Who was it? I mean, not necessarily 0:06:44.279 --> 0:06:45.680 who was what was it? 0:06:46.400 --> 0:06:49.039 I did give this guy a necklace, okay, and it 0:06:49.080 --> 0:06:50.280 was from our jewelry. 0:06:49.960 --> 0:06:53.080 Line okay, and Larsa Marie. 0:06:53.240 --> 0:06:57.320 Yeah, And it was kind of annoying because I like, 0:06:57.400 --> 0:06:59.479 he ended up getting back with his ax and I 0:06:59.480 --> 0:07:02.240 feel like she would have taken the necklace. It's just 0:07:02.279 --> 0:07:02.960 kind of annoying. 0:07:03.000 --> 0:07:04.960 Okay, so you regret giving that necklace. 0:07:05.000 --> 0:07:06.520 Yeah, I kind of feel like it was very personal 0:07:06.520 --> 0:07:08.039 because it was like it was like one of my 0:07:08.240 --> 0:07:10.920 very first like chain necklaces I was making, like the 0:07:11.000 --> 0:07:13.200 chain link necklaces that I love so much and my 0:07:13.320 --> 0:07:15.680 logo on there, and it was just annoying to think, 0:07:15.720 --> 0:07:17.520 like some other girl is going to be wearing a 0:07:17.560 --> 0:07:18.720 necklace that I gave this guy. 0:07:19.080 --> 0:07:21.000 Yeah, that's kind of I could. I could see that. 0:07:21.160 --> 0:07:21.360 You know. 0:07:22.440 --> 0:07:26.000 For me, I've never really regretted. I've always given a 0:07:26.000 --> 0:07:29.920 gift not expecting anything in return. You know. Obviously, you 0:07:29.960 --> 0:07:34.160 can maybe insinuate or hope that there's you know, something 0:07:34.160 --> 0:07:36.720 that you're going to get in return. But once I 0:07:36.760 --> 0:07:39.040 give a gift, I've given it, it's gone, like you know, 0:07:39.080 --> 0:07:41.080 and you see, I'm very generous in terms of like 0:07:41.120 --> 0:07:43.840 when we go out with friends or you know, obviously 0:07:43.840 --> 0:07:45.120 in our relationship. 0:07:44.640 --> 0:07:46.760 I think it's given. Take. I think in any relationship 0:07:46.760 --> 0:07:49.080 it's given. Takes. Some people, you know, you give things too, 0:07:49.160 --> 0:07:51.440 they do other things for you. I think it's given take. 0:07:51.600 --> 0:07:53.080 Have you ever had to give a gift back? 0:07:53.640 --> 0:07:53.840 No? 0:07:54.400 --> 0:07:58.080 Never, never. Oh, I wasn't going to call you out 0:07:58.080 --> 0:07:58.560 on that, one. 0:07:58.600 --> 0:08:01.280 But okay, so I did get it a g Wagon okay, 0:08:01.720 --> 0:08:04.040 and then mm hmm, and I had to end up 0:08:04.040 --> 0:08:04.640 giving it back. 0:08:04.720 --> 0:08:06.840 Yeah, we won't. We won't necessarily get into the details. 0:08:07.400 --> 0:08:08.280 I forgot about that. 0:08:08.320 --> 0:08:09.680 I wasn't trying to put you on friend street. 0:08:09.760 --> 0:08:11.960 Well, I had a lot of cars. Someone gifted me 0:08:12.000 --> 0:08:14.360 a lot of cars, and one of them was I 0:08:14.400 --> 0:08:16.760 gave them all back and I kept the g Wagon. 0:08:17.360 --> 0:08:19.400 And then but I also think that you know, not 0:08:19.480 --> 0:08:23.360 to tell your story, but I also feel like, you know, 0:08:23.800 --> 0:08:27.840 there might have been extra expectations put on the friendship, 0:08:27.920 --> 0:08:31.520 not necessarily you know, sexually, but like you know, spending 0:08:31.520 --> 0:08:33.840 time with somebody and you know, all of that stuff. 0:08:33.880 --> 0:08:35.560 And I don't think that you were in a position 0:08:35.600 --> 0:08:37.400 that you wanted to do that, and so it's probably 0:08:37.400 --> 0:08:40.840 better to give the gifts back versus like leading someone 0:08:40.880 --> 0:08:42.000 in the direction you don't want to go. 0:08:42.200 --> 0:08:44.600 Totally, Yeah, I agree, But you know what my dad 0:08:44.600 --> 0:08:46.640 always taught me. My dad literally has been telling me 0:08:46.679 --> 0:08:49.720 this my whole life, like, people don't give you gifts 0:08:49.760 --> 0:08:50.240 for nothing. 0:08:50.440 --> 0:08:51.320 I feel like I've said that. 0:08:51.320 --> 0:08:53.440 To you, and my dad always always used to say 0:08:53.440 --> 0:08:55.200 this to me, and I would be like Oh, they're 0:08:55.240 --> 0:08:55.880 just my friend. 0:08:56.120 --> 0:08:59.280 Yeah and yeah, no, I mean, look for me as 0:08:59.280 --> 0:09:01.480 a man, if you give a gift, you give a gift. 0:09:01.600 --> 0:09:04.640 You know what I'm saying, don't. I wouldn't expect anything back, 0:09:04.679 --> 0:09:08.320 and so would you expect or would they expect you 0:09:08.360 --> 0:09:10.480 to pay something back? Have you ever been expected to 0:09:10.480 --> 0:09:13.400 pay back something for a gift? No, I don't think 0:09:13.440 --> 0:09:16.560 I've ever met. No, I've never asked it. Like, that's insane. 0:09:16.559 --> 0:09:17.360 That's an insane So. 0:09:17.320 --> 0:09:19.360 Let me ask you a question. If you gave someone 0:09:19.400 --> 0:09:21.120 an engagement ring and you guys broke up, would you 0:09:21.120 --> 0:09:21.760 want the ring back? 0:09:21.920 --> 0:09:25.480 Nah? Yeah, I feel like once I spend my money 0:09:25.520 --> 0:09:27.959 on it, like it's in my mind, I've written it off, 0:09:27.960 --> 0:09:29.240 it's gone, it's yours. You know. 0:09:29.280 --> 0:09:30.760 I'm like that too, unless. 0:09:32.120 --> 0:09:34.840 I haven't given it to that person. For example, let' 0:09:34.840 --> 0:09:37.800 say I bought an engagement ring and something happened and 0:09:37.800 --> 0:09:41.000 now we're calling you know, not that we're calling engagement now, 0:09:41.000 --> 0:09:43.199 but we're breaking up, and so yeah, I'm not mad 0:09:43.200 --> 0:09:46.360 at taking the ring back at that you've never given it. 0:09:46.800 --> 0:09:48.360 I'm not going to save it for the next woman 0:09:48.360 --> 0:09:50.680 I'm gonna get because she might like a different cut 0:09:50.720 --> 0:09:52.280 of stone or something. You know what I'm saying. 0:09:52.320 --> 0:09:53.200 I feel like that's normal. 0:09:53.440 --> 0:09:56.720 Yeah, So anything else you want to add on this topic. 0:09:56.720 --> 0:09:59.240 I feel like we can talk about this for a while. No, 0:09:59.400 --> 0:10:02.079 I feel it's confidential a little bit. 0:10:02.520 --> 0:10:06.719 I mean I have to. But I do like the 0:10:06.760 --> 0:10:08.240 way we are with each other because I feel like 0:10:08.280 --> 0:10:09.559 we're both very generous with each other. 0:10:09.600 --> 0:10:11.800 I feel like we try to outdo each other's love 0:10:12.000 --> 0:10:14.880 in different ways, you know, whether it's giving a gift 0:10:15.040 --> 0:10:18.320 or a BackRub, or you know, surprising each other with 0:10:18.360 --> 0:10:20.280 dinner or something like that. Like I feel like we 0:10:20.400 --> 0:10:23.080 are constantly trying to want up each other. Yeah. 0:10:23.080 --> 0:10:25.520 I feel like we're like who's. 0:10:24.760 --> 0:10:31.840 In the lead. Yeah, you know, I wasn't gonna say okay, 0:10:31.960 --> 0:10:32.400 And so. 0:10:33.040 --> 0:10:34.080 Let's talk about jealousy. 0:10:34.120 --> 0:10:36.679 Let's talk about it. Let's talk about it. Can feelings 0:10:36.679 --> 0:10:39.640 of jealousy be a good thing in a relationship? We 0:10:39.720 --> 0:10:44.360 all experience romantic jealousy differently, but the common emotions associated 0:10:44.400 --> 0:10:48.000 to jealousy are rage, fear, possessiveness, and sadness. And so, 0:10:49.120 --> 0:10:50.960 you know, jealousy is a kind of a reaction to 0:10:51.080 --> 0:10:54.920 losing something or someone that you have And according to 0:10:54.960 --> 0:10:58.480 research psychologists Jolie Hamilton. The knee jerk reaction of jealousy 0:10:58.520 --> 0:11:01.360 has been documented in infant as early as six months old, 0:11:01.400 --> 0:11:04.840 so they are biological. There is a biological component, which 0:11:04.840 --> 0:11:08.440 means jealousy is completely natural. It's about what you do 0:11:08.520 --> 0:11:09.720 with those feelings that matter. 0:11:10.600 --> 0:11:12.600 I like a bit of jealousy, you like. 0:11:12.559 --> 0:11:13.959 A little bit of Talk to me about that, Like, 0:11:14.000 --> 0:11:14.480 what does that mean? 0:11:14.520 --> 0:11:16.200 I mean, I feel like if you don't have a 0:11:16.200 --> 0:11:18.840 little bit of jealousy, you really don't care. Yeah, because 0:11:18.880 --> 0:11:21.440 I've been in situations where I'm like, I didn't care, 0:11:21.520 --> 0:11:23.120 And if I didn't care, that means I don't have 0:11:23.280 --> 0:11:26.320 enough like emotion in the relationship. I'm not emotionally invested 0:11:26.320 --> 0:11:28.280 in the relationship if I'm not jealous. 0:11:28.400 --> 0:11:28.880 Yeah. 0:11:28.960 --> 0:11:30.680 So I do feel like there's like it's good to 0:11:30.679 --> 0:11:32.760 be a little jealous, it's good to be on your toes. 0:11:32.840 --> 0:11:34.559 All those feelings are normal. I think it's just how 0:11:34.559 --> 0:11:35.280 you deal with them. 0:11:35.360 --> 0:11:38.720 Yeah. So, according to life coach Jacqueline Missla, dealing with 0:11:38.800 --> 0:11:41.360 jealousy head on can actually create more trust in a 0:11:41.360 --> 0:11:43.439 stronger bond in a relationship. And so I think that's 0:11:43.480 --> 0:11:45.600 kind of what you're alluding to is that a little 0:11:45.600 --> 0:11:49.120 bit of jealousy doesn't necessarily hurt. It could create like 0:11:49.200 --> 0:11:51.760 a talking point. Then maybe it might build a stronger bond, 0:11:51.920 --> 0:11:52.800 you know, I think so. 0:11:52.960 --> 0:11:55.240 I think it's like, you know, keep everything in, you know, 0:11:55.280 --> 0:11:57.560 in the middle, not too crazy, don't get too crazy, 0:11:57.559 --> 0:11:58.520 don't get too jealous. 0:11:58.559 --> 0:11:59.640 Like just okay. 0:12:00.000 --> 0:12:01.800 So, I feel like your partner makes you feel a 0:12:01.800 --> 0:12:03.880 certain way. So if you're feeling a bit jealous, your 0:12:03.880 --> 0:12:06.240 partner can come in and like make you feel good 0:12:06.320 --> 0:12:08.280 and like communicate and make you feel like it's a 0:12:08.320 --> 0:12:11.319 safe place. But if your partner is study doing crazy 0:12:11.360 --> 0:12:13.920 things and that's making you jealous, it's a very unhealthy 0:12:14.320 --> 0:12:17.280 like situation and relationship. I think that's like a problem 0:12:17.320 --> 0:12:18.160 that's never going to work. 0:12:18.200 --> 0:12:20.320 Okay, that's perfect. You set me up perfectly for this 0:12:20.400 --> 0:12:23.440 segue into this example. And so if your partner says 0:12:23.480 --> 0:12:26.400 you need to stop texting with members of the opposite sex, 0:12:26.800 --> 0:12:29.520 is that an impracticable request that is only going to 0:12:29.600 --> 0:12:30.920 put a band aid on the issue. 0:12:31.679 --> 0:12:33.640 I think it depends who the person you're texting is. 0:12:33.760 --> 0:12:37.280 Oh okay, well, because it could be like legit, like 0:12:37.360 --> 0:12:39.720 a friend or a business partner, or something like that. 0:12:39.880 --> 0:12:43.160 I think, like you can jealousy is okay, but it 0:12:43.200 --> 0:12:45.320 has to be like like there has to be a 0:12:45.360 --> 0:12:47.720 reason for it, and you can't just be jealous over anything, 0:12:47.760 --> 0:12:47.960 you know. 0:12:48.400 --> 0:12:50.480 True, I agree. I think most often. 0:12:50.280 --> 0:12:52.160 My mom is really jealous. Just so you know, really 0:12:52.240 --> 0:12:53.360 my mom is super jealous. 0:12:53.440 --> 0:12:55.120 Well, I mean, she has good reasons, so she's got 0:12:55.160 --> 0:12:55.880 a great man on. 0:12:55.840 --> 0:12:57.800 This side, you know, and it's definitely very jealous. 0:12:57.840 --> 0:13:00.800 So if somebody went and talked to your she would 0:13:00.800 --> 0:13:02.520 get she would be like she'd be looking them up 0:13:02.520 --> 0:13:03.720 and down, surveying who it is. 0:13:03.960 --> 0:13:06.240 Oh, yeah, she's not about that life. I remember on 0:13:06.360 --> 0:13:08.080 Nanny that I brought to my parents' house and she 0:13:08.200 --> 0:13:10.120 just kept talking to my dad. She kind of like 0:13:10.880 --> 0:13:13.520 wasn't even acknowledging my mom, and she kept trying to 0:13:13.559 --> 0:13:15.920 be funny all my dad and talking to my dad. Yeah, 0:13:15.960 --> 0:13:18.240 and my mom and Arabic said to me, like, if 0:13:18.280 --> 0:13:20.640 you guys are not staying here tonight, like you're taking 0:13:20.640 --> 0:13:22.760 your nanny, you're going home, Like you're not staying at 0:13:22.800 --> 0:13:25.160 my house tonight. Because I had a house fifteen minutes 0:13:25.200 --> 0:13:26.839 away my parents' house, like a big house. But I 0:13:26.840 --> 0:13:28.400 always wanted to stay at my parents' house when I 0:13:28.400 --> 0:13:30.240 would first get into town, when I would first get 0:13:30.240 --> 0:13:32.840 to Chicago, and my mom did not want that lady 0:13:32.840 --> 0:13:34.600 in her house. She was like, oh, no, you're not 0:13:34.640 --> 0:13:35.480 bringing that lady. 0:13:35.840 --> 0:13:39.080 You know. It's funny because I feel like it depends 0:13:39.240 --> 0:13:42.080 on the person, right, because you have a lot of 0:13:42.080 --> 0:13:44.560 guy friends. You got a lot of male business partners, 0:13:44.640 --> 0:13:48.160 you know, and so you're constantly communicating with men. And 0:13:48.280 --> 0:13:51.199 sometimes I think, I jokingly say, you know, you need 0:13:51.240 --> 0:13:54.600 more women friends or you need more girlfriends, And I think. 0:13:54.480 --> 0:13:57.680 Women friends are more threatening than male friends, just so 0:13:57.720 --> 0:13:59.200 you know, because I feel like a women friends to 0:13:59.240 --> 0:14:02.200 who well to any relationship because I feel like if 0:14:02.240 --> 0:14:04.559 I had a bunch of girlfriends, they would always want 0:14:04.559 --> 0:14:06.400 me to go out and do things, and like that 0:14:06.440 --> 0:14:07.440 puts you into more of a. 0:14:07.960 --> 0:14:11.000 Like you're saying, you going out with your girlfriends is 0:14:11.800 --> 0:14:15.560 might lead to, you know, a trickier issue than if 0:14:15.600 --> 0:14:16.920 you were hanging out with your guy friends. 0:14:17.080 --> 0:14:20.840 Yes, because my guy friends, that relationship has been established. 0:14:20.880 --> 0:14:22.600 It's not like it's you're not going to really go 0:14:22.720 --> 0:14:25.400 from like guys that I talk to all the time 0:14:25.480 --> 0:14:26.920 that like you're not going. 0:14:26.880 --> 0:14:28.120 To like know, yeah. 0:14:28.320 --> 0:14:31.840 Now, I mean, look, our situation, how our situation started 0:14:31.840 --> 0:14:34.320 as friends was different because we really weren't around each other. 0:14:34.480 --> 0:14:36.680 I think there was you know, you know that's true, 0:14:36.960 --> 0:14:39.680 and you know the way we met. I don't know, 0:14:39.720 --> 0:14:42.560 I just obviously it was a different circumstance, but there 0:14:42.640 --> 0:14:46.280 was like a level of attraction that built up over time, 0:14:46.440 --> 0:14:48.160 you know what I'm saying. It wasn't like I was 0:14:48.400 --> 0:14:50.600 we just both friend zoned each other, you know. I 0:14:50.680 --> 0:14:52.760 think that we wanted to get get to know each 0:14:52.800 --> 0:14:55.240 other a little more too. I don't know, I just 0:14:55.280 --> 0:14:59.800 feel like it depends on the situation, because, like you know, 0:15:00.040 --> 0:15:03.360 if I go out with my guy friends, then maybe 0:15:03.360 --> 0:15:06.760 there's a little more mischief that I would get into 0:15:06.960 --> 0:15:08.720 than if I went out with my girlfriends. 0:15:08.760 --> 0:15:09.760 Exactly. That's my point. 0:15:09.840 --> 0:15:11.040 Yeah, I get it, I get it. I get it. 0:15:11.080 --> 0:15:12.720 That's kind of where I feel like having guy friends 0:15:12.760 --> 0:15:13.640 is like a safe zone. 0:15:13.640 --> 0:15:15.560 But I feel like so that means I can go 0:15:15.600 --> 0:15:20.400 and have more female friends. No, I'm just I'm just 0:15:20.440 --> 0:15:22.560 saying I'm throwing that out. I don't know. I just 0:15:22.880 --> 0:15:24.760 you know, I think it's situational. 0:15:24.840 --> 0:15:25.560 I think a situation. 0:15:25.600 --> 0:15:28.000 I think it's situational. And you know, with this example 0:15:28.040 --> 0:15:30.440 of texting somebody of the opposite sext, I agree. I 0:15:30.440 --> 0:15:33.520 think the subject matter counts depends on what you're talking about. 0:15:33.560 --> 0:15:35.800 If you're sitting there talking about business all day or 0:15:36.200 --> 0:15:38.360 you know, things like that, I feel like, don't be shady. 0:15:38.520 --> 0:15:40.240 That's the thing. I think a lot of people are shady. 0:15:40.280 --> 0:15:42.480 Don't be shady, like tell it, say what it is, 0:15:42.520 --> 0:15:44.200 and that way everyone understands what it is. 0:15:44.400 --> 0:15:46.360 Yeah, but I think, you know, again, friends of the 0:15:46.400 --> 0:15:50.560 opposite sex, there could be ulterior motives there. Or it 0:15:50.600 --> 0:15:52.960 could be a girl, you know, lying in the Louise 0:15:53.000 --> 0:15:54.960 waiting for her shot. It could be a guy you know, 0:15:55.240 --> 0:15:57.320 laying lot waiting for their shot. You know, and so 0:15:57.440 --> 0:15:59.400 you know it just I'm just saying, you know, it 0:15:59.440 --> 0:16:00.480 depends on situation. 0:16:00.680 --> 0:16:03.080 I think when you make your partner feel really good 0:16:03.080 --> 0:16:05.720 and stable and like great, they're not going anywhere. And 0:16:05.720 --> 0:16:07.520 I think when you don't take care of your home, 0:16:08.040 --> 0:16:09.960 then you make it very easy for someone to creep 0:16:10.000 --> 0:16:10.720 in out of the back door. 0:16:10.840 --> 0:16:14.680