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Speaker 1: All right, it is time now for today's Strawberry Letter

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Speaker 1: and listen. If you need advice on relationships, work, sex, parenting,

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Speaker 1: and more, please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM

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Speaker 1: dot com. All you have to do is click submit

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Speaker 1: Strawberry Letter and we'll get your letter and we'll maybe

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Speaker 1: read it on the air, just like we're gonna do

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Speaker 1: this one right here, right now. You never know it

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Speaker 1: could be yours. Do it Strawberry Letter. Let's go. That's it. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: all right, thank you, Steve. Subject he needs to pace

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Speaker 1: himself with everything. Everything. Dear Stephen Shirley, I'm thirty and

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Speaker 1: my fiance is twenty eight years old. We've been together

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Speaker 1: two years and he proposed three months ago. I've held

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Speaker 1: out on intimacy with him until I got a commitment,

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Speaker 1: and he did not have a problem with that. The

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Speaker 1: night I got the ring, I gave in and we

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Speaker 1: had sex that night. It was not what I expected

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Speaker 1: at all. I'd seen him naked a million times and

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Speaker 1: I knew what he was working with, but I had

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Speaker 1: no idea if he knew what to do with it.

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Speaker 1: Our first time was such a disappointment, and I was

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Speaker 1: left unfulfilled. We laughed about him being excited because it

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Speaker 1: was our first time. He's quick in everything he does,

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Speaker 1: though since we met, I have teased him about eating

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Speaker 1: and drinking too fast. We cannot share appetizers because he

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Speaker 1: eats one after the other and I barely get any.

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Speaker 1: If we're having wine, I may get one glass because

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Speaker 1: he drinks it like water. I always have to encourage

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Speaker 1: him to pace himself. I shouldn't have to be surprised

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Speaker 1: when this same thing happened in the bedroom. I was

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Speaker 1: brutally honest with him about the sex because I'm about

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Speaker 1: to marry this man. I started having sex daily in

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Speaker 1: hopes that he can get used to me and learn

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Speaker 1: to pace himself. His doctor prescribed him something for mild anxiety.

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Speaker 1: Now during sex, he will mumble the entire time, or

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Speaker 1: he will stop abruptly and ask me questions about how

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Speaker 1: he's doing or how my day went. It is a

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Speaker 1: total letdown every time. His doctor says it's a temporary

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Speaker 1: problem and he will be fine once he's used to me.

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Speaker 1: I am afraid this may not be fixable because it

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Speaker 1: has been three months. If he can't figure out how

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Speaker 1: to pace himself sexually, should I pace myself on getting

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Speaker 1: married to him. Well, I say, yes, most definitely you

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Speaker 1: should because sex is an integral part of marriage and intimacy,

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Speaker 1: and it's a deal breaker in some instances. So if

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Speaker 1: you have a chance to get it right or to

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Speaker 1: fix it in your case, by all means, do that

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Speaker 1: pace yourself when it comes to the marriage. You don't

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Speaker 1: want to cheat or end up in divorce because of it.

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Speaker 1: And I can't express the importance of that enough. I mean,

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Speaker 1: it's important. It sounds like it's not so much about

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Speaker 1: pacing though I'm getting that, as it is about skill

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Speaker 1: with him. Skill you can teach. You just have to

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Speaker 1: be patient. You got to practice like you've been doing

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Speaker 1: for the last three months. And remember not to crush

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Speaker 1: his ego. You said you were brutally honest with him.

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Speaker 1: You know, maybe you know, come in a little softer,

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Speaker 1: not so so harsh and so brutal as you called it.

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Speaker 1: I'm assuming you really and truly love this man, otherwise

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Speaker 1: you wouldn't be marrying him. I think you want a

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Speaker 1: relationship and you want it to work right. Well, here's

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Speaker 1: where the work comes in. You know, you got to

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Speaker 1: talk about this stuff outside of the bedroom. You really

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Speaker 1: got to get to know each other and what you like.

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Speaker 1: I say, don't give up on him. If you love him,

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Speaker 1: and if this is what you really want, he can

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Speaker 1: learn to pace himself, learn to eat slower and do

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Speaker 1: everything slower. He can learn these tricks. You know this

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Speaker 1: is fixable. But he's got to want to do better too,

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Speaker 1: and it sounds like he does. He sounds like he

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Speaker 1: wants to plead you. Steve Well, I'm would take a

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Speaker 1: different approach here. This seems doomed. I can fix the

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Speaker 1: top half of your letter, and what I'm gonna suggest

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Speaker 1: on the bottom half of the letter you ain't gonna like,

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Speaker 1: so he would go, Okay, he needs to pace himself

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Speaker 1: with everything you thirty eight been together two years, he

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Speaker 1: proposed three months ago. I've held out on intimacy until him,

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Speaker 1: until I got a commitment. He didn't have a problem

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Speaker 1: with that. The night I got the ring, I gave

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Speaker 1: in and we had sex that night. Oh oh. Two

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Speaker 1: years of anticipation, but it wasn't quite what she expected.

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Speaker 1: She'd seen him naked a million times and she knew

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Speaker 1: what he was working with, but had no idea if

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Speaker 1: he knew what to do with him. The first time

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Speaker 1: was a huge disappointment, she said. I was left unfulfilled.

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Speaker 1: We laughed about him being excited because it was our

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Speaker 1: first time. He's quicken everything he does, though, So now

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Speaker 1: let me fix this part of the letter. Since we met,

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Speaker 1: I've teased him about eating and drinking too fast. We

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Speaker 1: can't share appetizers called eat one after the other, and

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Speaker 1: I barely get in it. Y'all gonna have to start

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Speaker 1: getting too appetised. Fixing, she fix it this part. I

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Speaker 1: can help you with. Y'all gots to start getting too

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Speaker 1: damn appetised. If we're having wine, I may get one

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Speaker 1: glass before he drank, because he drinks it like water.

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Speaker 1: Here we go again, who bottles of wine? Now you

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Speaker 1: can sit over there and finish here as fast as

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Speaker 1: he won't, and you can keep sipping yours like the

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Speaker 1: lady you are. I've always tried to encourage him to

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Speaker 1: pace himself, and so you shouldn't have been surprised when

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Speaker 1: the same thing happened in the bedroom, and I was

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Speaker 1: brutally honest with him about the sex because I'm about

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Speaker 1: to marry this man. So what did you say to him? Hey, hey,

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Speaker 1: well that that's it. Ain't to crust him. Excuse me,

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Speaker 1: excuse me, Uncle Ben minute right, that's it, Hey, Jack

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Speaker 1: in the box, Oh, it is what we fit to do,

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Speaker 1: quick drawing. That's it. Hang on, hey, speedy goes on.

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Speaker 1: What you doing? Hang on? Oh your reverence, road runner.

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Speaker 1: What we're doing now? Part two of Steve's response is

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Speaker 1: coming up at twenty three minutes after today's Strawberry Letters.

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Speaker 1: Subject is he needs to pace himself with everything. We'll

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Speaker 1: get back into it right after this. It's gonna be

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Speaker 1: quick too. You're listening show, all right, Come on, Steve,

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Speaker 1: let's recap today's Strawberry letter. The subject he needs to

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Speaker 1: he needs to pace himself with everything. She's marriage. She's

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Speaker 1: got a proposal from this twenty eight year old guy.

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Speaker 1: She's thirty that she's held out her intimacy until she

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Speaker 1: got a commitment. He didn't have no problem. He bought

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Speaker 1: a ring. After two years seeing this man neck in

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Speaker 1: a hundred times, they finally had sex. She was disappointed

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Speaker 1: because his pace was incredible. He just too fast, but

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Speaker 1: it's just the way he lives his life. He eats

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Speaker 1: too fast, he drinks too fast. They order or dirts.

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Speaker 1: She don't hardly get any because heat one after another

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Speaker 1: out of suggested, y'all need to start getting two or DERs.

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Speaker 1: Next thing, order bottle of wine. She only get one glass.

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Speaker 1: Y'all got to start order two bottles of wine. Give

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Speaker 1: him his own damn bottle. So you're gonna be in

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Speaker 1: a little while when the metabolism change. You're gonna be

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Speaker 1: married to a fatass alcoholic. Looked like to me because

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Speaker 1: he eats thing in front of them, and he drinking

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Speaker 1: everything and he leaving. You know he is metabolism high

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Speaker 1: right now, as soon as it slow down once again,

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Speaker 1: you're gonna be married to a fat ass alcoholic, all right.

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Speaker 1: And you've encouraged him to pace himself, so you shouldn't

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Speaker 1: have been surprised when the same thing happened in the bedroom.

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Speaker 1: I was brutal, lialis with him, about to sex because

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Speaker 1: I'm about to marry this man. So you call him

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Speaker 1: a bunch of names, speedy, Gonzalez, road runner, stuff like that,

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Speaker 1: how fast we're gonna do this? And then what you

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Speaker 1: did was you started having sex with him daily and

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Speaker 1: hopes that he can get used to you and learn

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Speaker 1: to pace himself. Then his doctor prescribed him something for

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Speaker 1: mild anxiety. Now he would go this, what the letters about?

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Speaker 1: Now doing sex? He will mumble the entire time, and

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Speaker 1: or he will stop abruptly and ask me questions about

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Speaker 1: how he's doing or how my day went right. He said,

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Speaker 1: it's a total to let down. Well, let me tell

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Speaker 1: you what that is. Okay. When a young boy can't

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Speaker 1: control himself, the best thing he do is try to stop,

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Speaker 1: change the subject, get his mind on something else. Oh,

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Speaker 1: then go back. Now he's gonna count the downtime as

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Speaker 1: time served. Let me give you an example. So let's say,

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Speaker 1: y'all been at it for a strong too minutes, two minutes,

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Speaker 1: two minutes, all hell, he got his three okay, wow,

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Speaker 1: So he just started mumbling. The mumbling is he's actually

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Speaker 1: making himself talk about other things. Man, I got to

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Speaker 1: fix my car to day. I wonder how bunch of

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Speaker 1: gas prices is. Sure is nice? You know it's tuesdays?

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Speaker 1: All you can eat down and walk. This is the

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Speaker 1: stuff he's doing it. Try to occupie. Then he'll stop

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Speaker 1: and ask you how he doing it. Now he gonna

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Speaker 1: talk to you for five minutes, but he wants to

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Speaker 1: count that five minutes with the two minutes. And then

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Speaker 1: he gonna start back up now we have seven minutes

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Speaker 1: because he's young and he's stupid. Now, the doctor say

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Speaker 1: it's a temporary problem and he'll be fine once he's

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Speaker 1: used to me. Yeah, I'm afraid this may not be

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Speaker 1: fixable because it's been three months. If he can't figure

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Speaker 1: out how to pace himself sexually, should I pace myself

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Speaker 1: on getting married him? I think he should or else

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Speaker 1: you're gonna have to get used to the wham bam,

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Speaker 1: thank you man, right, because that's all it's been to be.

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Speaker 1: Now you're readiness, Yes, you ready for the answer? Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Part you ain't gonna like the comedian in me, I

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Speaker 1: think is wrong. All right. I think her ass need

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Speaker 1: to pick the pace up herself. Oh okay, you're taking

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Speaker 1: too damn loan. We ain't got all day. He got

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Speaker 1: to go to work. You take it too long. You

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Speaker 1: need to pick your pace up. You know you we're

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Speaker 1: doing the three minutes. Let's go help heppppppp. Let's do it.

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Speaker 1: It's got no time for you all this loan, like

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Speaker 1: you fit to being here all day. You need to

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Speaker 1: pick your pace up. Okay, maybe that's the problem. See,

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Speaker 1: sometimes you have to speak speak up for weak men.

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Speaker 1: Sometimes you have to give the inadequate man a voice. Okay,

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Speaker 1: that's right. Now I'm speaking for the inadequate men, speaking

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Speaker 1: for the men who don't have a voy y' all this?

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Speaker 1: You know all this? Here you you you too here?

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Speaker 1: Are you taking too long? Too slow? You know? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I'm too fast. Your ass is too slow. You can't

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Speaker 1: please me. You're here, You ain't all that your damns

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Speaker 1: So they're just arguing now, you know, just all this

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Speaker 1: is you too small? How about you too be? How

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Speaker 1: about that? See now I'm speaking for the man. So

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Speaker 1: the all you men out there, this mechanism can't please

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Speaker 1: a woman. Ask yourself, fellas, is that your damn job? Really,

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Speaker 1: I'm speaking for them. I'm speaking for the broken man,

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Speaker 1: the man that don't have a boy. Here they're here up,

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Speaker 1: she says you too small? Tell her she too be?

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Speaker 1: That's all you got to fight back, brother, Yeah, now

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Speaker 1: it's a fight in the bedroom. She talked about you

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Speaker 1: can't last catch up? All right? Listen? Please leave your

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Speaker 1: comments on Today's letter on Instagram at Steve Harvey FM,

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Speaker 1: and check out the Strawberry Letter podcast on demand. Coming

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Speaker 1: up next, we'll talk about Tom Brady's return to the

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Speaker 1: NFL and what Chazelle has to say about it. Right

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Speaker 1: after this, you're listening to the Stave Harvey Morning Show