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I'm so excited to share that we're teaming 27 00:01:25,920 --> 00:01:30,000 Speaker 1: up with Social Goods to launch our new She Pivots merch. 28 00:01:31,160 --> 00:01:34,680 Speaker 1: You probably remember their nineteen seventy three shirts from when 29 00:01:34,760 --> 00:01:39,720 Speaker 1: Amy Schumer wore it on SNL and everywhere else. This 30 00:01:39,840 --> 00:01:42,880 Speaker 1: is a perfect partnership because we are so aligned. Look, 31 00:01:43,000 --> 00:01:46,119 Speaker 1: I come from politics, they come from politics, and now 32 00:01:46,120 --> 00:01:48,040 Speaker 1: we're both in a place that we're trying to change 33 00:01:48,120 --> 00:01:51,960 Speaker 1: culture through conversation. They're doing it through their merch. I'm 34 00:01:52,000 --> 00:01:55,880 Speaker 1: doing it through this podcast. Our She Works Hard for 35 00:01:55,920 --> 00:01:59,080 Speaker 1: the Pivot merch is inspired by the iconic Donna Summer 36 00:01:59,120 --> 00:02:02,760 Speaker 1: Hit Hard for the Money, and it honors all the 37 00:02:02,800 --> 00:02:07,240 Speaker 1: ways women overcome life's challenges and to find their own success. 38 00:02:07,800 --> 00:02:11,359 Speaker 1: For every item sold, a donation is made to bottomless Closet, 39 00:02:11,720 --> 00:02:15,120 Speaker 1: a nonprofit that helps disadvantage New York City women enter 40 00:02:15,200 --> 00:02:19,560 Speaker 1: the workforce and achieve success. Shop the collection now at 41 00:02:19,600 --> 00:02:26,040 Speaker 1: social dash Goods dot com, slash she Pivots. I'm Lala 42 00:02:26,120 --> 00:02:28,520 Speaker 1: Kent and I am on vander Pump Rules. I'm bravo. 43 00:02:34,400 --> 00:02:37,320 Speaker 1: I'm excited to have Laala Kent on today from vander 44 00:02:37,360 --> 00:02:41,920 Speaker 1: Pump Rules. Vander Pump Rules is definitely my guilty pleasure, 45 00:02:42,240 --> 00:02:45,639 Speaker 1: especially when I was going through that postpartum up all night, 46 00:02:46,080 --> 00:02:49,400 Speaker 1: can't sleep? What is my sleeping pattern? I turned to 47 00:02:49,520 --> 00:02:52,800 Speaker 1: vander Pump, especially that first season that Lala came on. 48 00:02:53,160 --> 00:02:56,359 Speaker 1: I have loved seeing her evolution over the last couple 49 00:02:56,360 --> 00:03:00,000 Speaker 1: of seasons, and meeting her in person was much less 50 00:03:00,160 --> 00:03:03,120 Speaker 1: seeing her on the show, but a whole lot deeper. 51 00:03:05,840 --> 00:03:08,000 Speaker 1: We were able to talk about a lot of things 52 00:03:08,000 --> 00:03:09,640 Speaker 1: we had seen on the show, but a lot that 53 00:03:09,680 --> 00:03:12,320 Speaker 1: we hadn't everything from the way that she's dealing with 54 00:03:12,360 --> 00:03:15,800 Speaker 1: her custody battle around her daughter Ocean, to her abortion 55 00:03:15,960 --> 00:03:18,760 Speaker 1: in her early twenties and her whole path to getting 56 00:03:18,800 --> 00:03:21,080 Speaker 1: sober and how she stays that way. I love the 57 00:03:21,080 --> 00:03:24,760 Speaker 1: way that she talks honestly about whatever life has thrown 58 00:03:24,800 --> 00:03:27,560 Speaker 1: at her the way that she's been focused and how 59 00:03:27,600 --> 00:03:31,320 Speaker 1: she found sobriety as a real rock that now drives 60 00:03:31,320 --> 00:03:33,960 Speaker 1: her through her life. I think it's going to resonate 61 00:03:34,000 --> 00:03:36,440 Speaker 1: a lot with you guys, so I'm excited to share it. 62 00:03:41,640 --> 00:03:46,320 Speaker 1: You started working young, Yeah, the age of twelve. I 63 00:03:46,480 --> 00:03:48,960 Speaker 1: always knew I wanted to be in entertainment. I wanted 64 00:03:48,960 --> 00:03:51,120 Speaker 1: to be an actress, I wanted to sing. I just 65 00:03:51,200 --> 00:03:53,960 Speaker 1: wanted to be on stage. And so when I was twelve, 66 00:03:54,040 --> 00:03:58,480 Speaker 1: I was discovered at the mall and put into this 67 00:03:58,560 --> 00:04:03,720 Speaker 1: like Billibong casting call. So I always knew entertainment was 68 00:04:03,760 --> 00:04:05,760 Speaker 1: the end all be all. I don't know what I'm 69 00:04:05,800 --> 00:04:08,960 Speaker 1: going to do if this doesn't work out. Her parents 70 00:04:08,960 --> 00:04:12,000 Speaker 1: were always supportive of her ambition for the entertainment industry, 71 00:04:12,440 --> 00:04:16,279 Speaker 1: but I wondered if growing up in conservative Utah impacted 72 00:04:16,279 --> 00:04:19,760 Speaker 1: her family or her dreams. So my mom was an 73 00:04:19,920 --> 00:04:22,440 Speaker 1: army brat, so she moved all over the world and 74 00:04:22,560 --> 00:04:25,320 Speaker 1: then they ended up in Utah because of a family business. 75 00:04:25,360 --> 00:04:27,400 Speaker 1: But most of my family on my mom's side is 76 00:04:27,440 --> 00:04:31,680 Speaker 1: from the South, so they were very Christian. My dad 77 00:04:31,800 --> 00:04:35,560 Speaker 1: was raised very LDS which is Mormon, and left at 78 00:04:35,560 --> 00:04:37,560 Speaker 1: the age of twenty two, but he still struggled with 79 00:04:37,600 --> 00:04:39,640 Speaker 1: a lot of that guilt. But I feel like when 80 00:04:39,640 --> 00:04:42,400 Speaker 1: my mom and dad got together, my dad had already 81 00:04:42,440 --> 00:04:45,560 Speaker 1: left the church, and it was God was like present 82 00:04:45,680 --> 00:04:48,160 Speaker 1: in our household, but it wasn't like we were practicing 83 00:04:48,240 --> 00:04:52,120 Speaker 1: out of a book. It was more spiritual than anything. 84 00:04:52,480 --> 00:04:55,680 Speaker 1: Two intense religious worlds that they were like, this is 85 00:04:55,760 --> 00:04:58,960 Speaker 1: just not it's too much pressure. Yeah, yeah, too many rules, 86 00:04:59,040 --> 00:05:02,000 Speaker 1: too many rules, a book telling me what I should 87 00:05:02,040 --> 00:05:04,279 Speaker 1: and shouldn't be doing. Like, the pressure is going to 88 00:05:04,320 --> 00:05:06,480 Speaker 1: break us. So we're just gonna raise our children to like, 89 00:05:06,920 --> 00:05:09,440 Speaker 1: go and do their thing and be happy. And so 90 00:05:09,520 --> 00:05:12,640 Speaker 1: you ended up helping your family during the two thousand 91 00:05:12,640 --> 00:05:15,520 Speaker 1: and eight recession. What was that like? It was strange. 92 00:05:15,960 --> 00:05:18,919 Speaker 1: I grew up with my dad really having an incredible 93 00:05:19,000 --> 00:05:21,200 Speaker 1: job and that he built from the ground up, and 94 00:05:21,240 --> 00:05:24,640 Speaker 1: then it just being taken away from him. And a 95 00:05:24,680 --> 00:05:28,280 Speaker 1: lot of men, especially in the field that my dad 96 00:05:28,360 --> 00:05:30,600 Speaker 1: was in, he was in real estate development, they got 97 00:05:30,720 --> 00:05:35,200 Speaker 1: hit hard. But I just can't imagine being that age 98 00:05:35,440 --> 00:05:40,600 Speaker 1: and having everything just be different, going from an incredible 99 00:05:40,720 --> 00:05:44,159 Speaker 1: job and a business that you built from nothing to 100 00:05:44,480 --> 00:05:47,479 Speaker 1: someone saying your wife's saying, like, go get a job 101 00:05:47,520 --> 00:05:50,719 Speaker 1: at a fucking movie theater. I don't care. Just bring 102 00:05:50,760 --> 00:05:53,960 Speaker 1: in a paycheck like we need it. And I just 103 00:05:54,000 --> 00:05:56,480 Speaker 1: remember my dad like asking me for money at times, 104 00:05:56,560 --> 00:05:59,480 Speaker 1: and people have asked me if I resent him for that. 105 00:05:59,800 --> 00:06:02,320 Speaker 1: I I don't have any sort of resentment. I look 106 00:06:02,360 --> 00:06:04,719 Speaker 1: at my dad as just like the most perfect human 107 00:06:04,720 --> 00:06:07,680 Speaker 1: being on the planet. And I was just happy that 108 00:06:07,720 --> 00:06:10,320 Speaker 1: I could step up for my family when that happened. 109 00:06:10,360 --> 00:06:13,880 Speaker 1: And luckily my mom worked my entire life, even though 110 00:06:13,920 --> 00:06:16,520 Speaker 1: my dad could have taken care of her. She always 111 00:06:16,600 --> 00:06:19,920 Speaker 1: planned for a rainy day that did come, and because 112 00:06:19,960 --> 00:06:22,360 Speaker 1: of that, I always planned for a rainy day, and 113 00:06:22,400 --> 00:06:24,680 Speaker 1: the rainy day did come. Like, I think it's so 114 00:06:24,839 --> 00:06:28,360 Speaker 1: important for women to just continue working, even if it's 115 00:06:28,480 --> 00:06:31,120 Speaker 1: just a little job, because you never know when things 116 00:06:31,120 --> 00:06:33,120 Speaker 1: are going to go south, and your rainy day could 117 00:06:33,120 --> 00:06:36,520 Speaker 1: look very different than mine. You know, my dad's was 118 00:06:37,080 --> 00:06:40,640 Speaker 1: the recession. Mine was I was being creeped around on 119 00:06:40,800 --> 00:06:42,120 Speaker 1: like you never know what it's going to look like, 120 00:06:42,200 --> 00:06:45,680 Speaker 1: but you have to have a plan B. Eventually, she 121 00:06:45,760 --> 00:06:48,440 Speaker 1: was ready to move on to something bigger, so, like 122 00:06:48,520 --> 00:06:53,800 Speaker 1: most young aspiring actresses, she moved to La I moved 123 00:06:54,000 --> 00:06:56,720 Speaker 1: out to La like right out of high school. That 124 00:06:56,800 --> 00:07:00,200 Speaker 1: city ate me alive. I was planning on auditioning. All 125 00:07:00,200 --> 00:07:02,240 Speaker 1: I did was like drink red wine all day and 126 00:07:02,279 --> 00:07:04,920 Speaker 1: watch Real Housewives of New Jersey. But I'm like, I'm 127 00:07:04,960 --> 00:07:08,120 Speaker 1: literally spending like three thousand dollars a month to do this. 128 00:07:08,600 --> 00:07:12,600 Speaker 1: Like it's not working, it's not the right time. So 129 00:07:13,120 --> 00:07:18,240 Speaker 1: I lasted maybe five months, went back home, decided to 130 00:07:18,280 --> 00:07:21,119 Speaker 1: go to college. I went to Salt Lake Community College, 131 00:07:21,160 --> 00:07:22,520 Speaker 1: and I was like, and then I'll transfer to the 132 00:07:22,560 --> 00:07:24,680 Speaker 1: you and I'll do that whole thing. I hated it. 133 00:07:24,680 --> 00:07:28,400 Speaker 1: Can I just tell you it was not my vibe. So, 134 00:07:28,520 --> 00:07:30,560 Speaker 1: like many young adults, she put a pause on her 135 00:07:30,640 --> 00:07:35,040 Speaker 1: dream and went back home, something totally normal and needed 136 00:07:35,120 --> 00:07:38,560 Speaker 1: in many people's journeys. In your book, you had said 137 00:07:38,560 --> 00:07:40,760 Speaker 1: that at some point during this early period you'd had 138 00:07:40,800 --> 00:07:44,120 Speaker 1: an abortion, which I think is an important story to 139 00:07:44,200 --> 00:07:47,640 Speaker 1: normalize as part of our personal stories, right Like, I 140 00:07:47,680 --> 00:07:50,080 Speaker 1: think it's important to talk about, and I also think 141 00:07:50,120 --> 00:07:51,840 Speaker 1: it's important to couch. I think in the way that 142 00:07:51,880 --> 00:07:54,200 Speaker 1: you did in your book that having the abortion doesn't 143 00:07:54,200 --> 00:07:56,880 Speaker 1: necessarily determine the rest of our lives. Having gone through it, 144 00:07:57,120 --> 00:07:58,880 Speaker 1: but the fact that you were able to determine your 145 00:07:58,880 --> 00:08:02,600 Speaker 1: own choices from that point is life determining. Of course, 146 00:08:03,320 --> 00:08:05,760 Speaker 1: I was twenty one, twenty two. The guy that I 147 00:08:05,840 --> 00:08:08,680 Speaker 1: was with, he was in college. He had a very 148 00:08:08,720 --> 00:08:12,720 Speaker 1: bright future in football, and I just I had to 149 00:08:12,800 --> 00:08:17,600 Speaker 1: take a moment and not only think about him and 150 00:08:17,640 --> 00:08:21,080 Speaker 1: his future, but also my own and knowing that I 151 00:08:21,120 --> 00:08:24,440 Speaker 1: didn't want to bring this innocent life who has no 152 00:08:24,680 --> 00:08:27,680 Speaker 1: say in the matter into a world that for me 153 00:08:27,800 --> 00:08:33,000 Speaker 1: is so unclear, like I'm drinking, I'm living a very 154 00:08:33,080 --> 00:08:35,560 Speaker 1: young life. I don't even know what I want to do. 155 00:08:35,679 --> 00:08:39,199 Speaker 1: I live with my parents, the dad is in college, 156 00:08:39,240 --> 00:08:43,000 Speaker 1: like we're kids. And the fact that I was able 157 00:08:43,720 --> 00:08:47,760 Speaker 1: to do that and have that choice, I wouldn't be 158 00:08:48,200 --> 00:08:50,280 Speaker 1: where I am right now. I wouldn't be able to 159 00:08:50,320 --> 00:08:54,600 Speaker 1: give my daughter now the life that she has and 160 00:08:54,640 --> 00:09:00,320 Speaker 1: that she deserves. A lamb sayh, what does a cows say? 161 00:09:01,480 --> 00:09:07,840 Speaker 1: What does a Horsey say? Who? Good job? Becoming a 162 00:09:07,880 --> 00:09:12,160 Speaker 1: mother did something to me. So there were many moments 163 00:09:12,200 --> 00:09:14,600 Speaker 1: that I battled it and had to work through it 164 00:09:14,679 --> 00:09:16,480 Speaker 1: because you know, there's a lot of people out here 165 00:09:16,480 --> 00:09:18,880 Speaker 1: who have an opinion, and I had to silence the 166 00:09:18,920 --> 00:09:22,120 Speaker 1: noise and only think about me and the fact that 167 00:09:22,200 --> 00:09:24,280 Speaker 1: I had it done in Utah, which is a very 168 00:09:24,320 --> 00:09:27,480 Speaker 1: conservative state, and they make it so you have to 169 00:09:27,520 --> 00:09:30,480 Speaker 1: like go to like a class where they talk about 170 00:09:30,520 --> 00:09:33,120 Speaker 1: it and you have to take seventy two hours to 171 00:09:33,559 --> 00:09:35,720 Speaker 1: decide if this is something you want to do. But 172 00:09:35,840 --> 00:09:39,120 Speaker 1: it was crazy to me that a place where I 173 00:09:39,160 --> 00:09:42,240 Speaker 1: grew up that was so conservative. The woman who I 174 00:09:42,280 --> 00:09:43,800 Speaker 1: was talking to and it was just me that day. 175 00:09:43,840 --> 00:09:45,679 Speaker 1: There were many chairs. I guess I was just the 176 00:09:45,679 --> 00:09:48,560 Speaker 1: only one seeking an abortion at that time, but she 177 00:09:48,720 --> 00:09:51,920 Speaker 1: was so kind and I will forever remember her and 178 00:09:51,960 --> 00:09:56,360 Speaker 1: her face and her tone because I was a mess, 179 00:09:56,400 --> 00:09:59,199 Speaker 1: and her saying to me, I want you to know 180 00:09:59,720 --> 00:10:03,640 Speaker 1: that you're not a bad person. If you choose this option. 181 00:10:04,520 --> 00:10:06,280 Speaker 1: We're going to support you if you do it. We're 182 00:10:06,320 --> 00:10:08,640 Speaker 1: going to support you if you don't do it. Here's 183 00:10:08,679 --> 00:10:11,760 Speaker 1: two packets on whatever you decide, Like this is about 184 00:10:11,840 --> 00:10:15,640 Speaker 1: she said, this is about you and only you. I 185 00:10:15,679 --> 00:10:19,520 Speaker 1: want you to silence everyone else. And that was that 186 00:10:19,559 --> 00:10:22,360 Speaker 1: was a huge moment for me. And I also remember 187 00:10:22,600 --> 00:10:26,000 Speaker 1: asking my mom. I was at Planned Parenthood, which I 188 00:10:26,040 --> 00:10:29,560 Speaker 1: love an adore Planned parenthood so much. They've prevented many 189 00:10:29,600 --> 00:10:34,440 Speaker 1: pregnancies from me, provided me with free condoms. I love 190 00:10:34,480 --> 00:10:38,400 Speaker 1: planned parenthood. But I was with my mom and I 191 00:10:38,400 --> 00:10:41,320 Speaker 1: asked her, like, what would you do if you were me? 192 00:10:42,400 --> 00:10:45,240 Speaker 1: And she said, I don't want to affect your decision. 193 00:10:45,679 --> 00:10:48,880 Speaker 1: And I said, I really really need you to like 194 00:10:49,320 --> 00:10:51,840 Speaker 1: help me with this because I just feel like she 195 00:10:51,840 --> 00:10:54,400 Speaker 1: she has a say I'm her daughter, she knows me 196 00:10:54,440 --> 00:10:57,839 Speaker 1: better than I know myself. I needed someone in that moment, 197 00:10:57,920 --> 00:11:01,480 Speaker 1: like my mom to help me with this horrendous decision 198 00:11:01,480 --> 00:11:03,720 Speaker 1: that I was having to make. And she said, if 199 00:11:03,840 --> 00:11:07,080 Speaker 1: I were you, I would not have this baby. And 200 00:11:07,120 --> 00:11:10,200 Speaker 1: I felt like an elephant lift off my chest. I 201 00:11:10,240 --> 00:11:13,480 Speaker 1: was like, okay, like it's not the time and this 202 00:11:13,600 --> 00:11:16,560 Speaker 1: is my choice, right. Do you think it felt like 203 00:11:16,559 --> 00:11:18,640 Speaker 1: an elephant was lifted off your chest because you were 204 00:11:18,720 --> 00:11:21,840 Speaker 1: leaning in that direction. And she gave words to it, 205 00:11:22,080 --> 00:11:26,280 Speaker 1: she verbalized it. Yes, I needed an outsider who saw 206 00:11:26,320 --> 00:11:30,440 Speaker 1: the bigger picture and what my life could be with 207 00:11:30,520 --> 00:11:32,640 Speaker 1: the decision that she thought was right. And you know 208 00:11:32,720 --> 00:11:35,720 Speaker 1: she's never gonna steer me wrong. She's my mother, just 209 00:11:35,760 --> 00:11:38,640 Speaker 1: like I would never steer ocean wrong. Yeah, And I 210 00:11:38,720 --> 00:11:40,280 Speaker 1: know that if in that moment I was like, you 211 00:11:40,320 --> 00:11:42,880 Speaker 1: know what, I appreciate that, but I'm really feeling this way. 212 00:11:43,880 --> 00:11:47,199 Speaker 1: My mama would have stepped up, been my co parent, 213 00:11:47,200 --> 00:11:50,240 Speaker 1: my life partner, just like she is now. Yeah. So 214 00:11:50,720 --> 00:11:53,600 Speaker 1: it's a very very strange thing to go through. And 215 00:11:53,640 --> 00:11:56,000 Speaker 1: I have friends who have done it and they really 216 00:11:56,040 --> 00:12:00,240 Speaker 1: struggle with their decision, and I just think having the 217 00:12:00,360 --> 00:12:04,600 Speaker 1: choice is so I can't stress it enough. No one 218 00:12:04,640 --> 00:12:06,720 Speaker 1: is going to tell me what I can and cannot 219 00:12:06,720 --> 00:12:10,760 Speaker 1: do with my body. I own it, so back the 220 00:12:10,800 --> 00:12:14,920 Speaker 1: fuck off. Well, Unfortunately, in Utah now they might. I 221 00:12:14,920 --> 00:12:18,800 Speaker 1: mean they're banning all abortion except for very extreme cases. 222 00:12:18,840 --> 00:12:21,200 Speaker 1: Maybe even those are going to be banned. New abortion 223 00:12:21,400 --> 00:12:25,360 Speaker 1: restrictions could be reinstated today in Utah. A temporary restraining 224 00:12:25,440 --> 00:12:27,319 Speaker 1: order on the state's trigger law ends today in a 225 00:12:27,360 --> 00:12:31,120 Speaker 1: preliminary injunction here in this afternoon will determine what happens next. 226 00:12:31,240 --> 00:12:33,240 Speaker 1: Utah has a trigger law on the books. It was 227 00:12:33,280 --> 00:12:36,720 Speaker 1: passed back in twenty twenty, voted on. In anticipation of 228 00:12:36,800 --> 00:12:39,920 Speaker 1: today's decision, I just got chills all over my body. 229 00:12:40,640 --> 00:12:44,200 Speaker 1: I'm not quite sure where we have taken such a 230 00:12:44,320 --> 00:12:51,600 Speaker 1: drastic turn in the opposite direction. It's really heartbreaking. Does 231 00:12:51,640 --> 00:12:53,360 Speaker 1: it make you want to kind of be more involved. 232 00:12:53,400 --> 00:12:56,160 Speaker 1: I mean, you're obviously very outspoken in supportive planned parenthood. 233 00:12:57,080 --> 00:13:01,400 Speaker 1: I definitely want to be involved because I just cannot 234 00:13:01,440 --> 00:13:05,199 Speaker 1: be quiet in so many areas where I see things 235 00:13:05,200 --> 00:13:08,319 Speaker 1: that just are not right, I feel the need to 236 00:13:08,360 --> 00:13:11,600 Speaker 1: speak up. So I will be as involved as I 237 00:13:11,760 --> 00:13:16,000 Speaker 1: possibly can on many fronts, whether it's what I see 238 00:13:16,040 --> 00:13:19,319 Speaker 1: with abortion, what I see in the family court system. 239 00:13:19,760 --> 00:13:23,520 Speaker 1: Like i'm here, there's a lot that has changed in 240 00:13:23,559 --> 00:13:27,840 Speaker 1: the past fifteen months where I know where I want 241 00:13:27,840 --> 00:13:30,880 Speaker 1: my voice to be placed. I love what I do. 242 00:13:30,960 --> 00:13:33,719 Speaker 1: I love doing vander Pump Rules, but at the end 243 00:13:33,720 --> 00:13:36,440 Speaker 1: of the day, when I'm no longer here, I need 244 00:13:36,480 --> 00:13:41,120 Speaker 1: to know that I made some sort of impact, that 245 00:13:41,200 --> 00:13:46,320 Speaker 1: I left a mark. I cannot go out without having that. 246 00:13:46,880 --> 00:13:48,640 Speaker 1: So I won't shut up. And I'm sorry if I 247 00:13:48,679 --> 00:13:51,079 Speaker 1: annoy you, and you need to click onfollow. But this 248 00:13:51,240 --> 00:13:53,839 Speaker 1: is where I stand, and I know that there's many 249 00:13:53,880 --> 00:13:55,880 Speaker 1: women who are in the same boat I'm in, and 250 00:13:55,920 --> 00:13:58,600 Speaker 1: if I can use my platform to push us a 251 00:13:58,640 --> 00:14:01,360 Speaker 1: little bit further in the right direction, I'm going to 252 00:14:01,440 --> 00:14:11,000 Speaker 1: do that. Like so many twenty somethings who moved home 253 00:14:11,080 --> 00:14:15,120 Speaker 1: during or after college. Lala needed the time, time to pause, 254 00:14:15,480 --> 00:14:18,240 Speaker 1: time to pivot, but she was ready to go back. 255 00:14:19,040 --> 00:14:21,920 Speaker 1: Do you think that your mindset and approach to the 256 00:14:21,960 --> 00:14:25,160 Speaker 1: second time you moved to la really changed the way? 257 00:14:25,640 --> 00:14:27,360 Speaker 1: It changed in practice, like it changed the way you 258 00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:30,840 Speaker 1: operated when you got there. Absolutely, I had a different 259 00:14:31,560 --> 00:14:35,040 Speaker 1: grip on who I was and what I wanted. I mean, nineteen, 260 00:14:35,160 --> 00:14:38,080 Speaker 1: fresh out of high school, that's a baby. I had 261 00:14:38,200 --> 00:14:41,560 Speaker 1: much more hustle. So you you didn't go looking even 262 00:14:41,560 --> 00:14:44,440 Speaker 1: though you knew about the Real Housewives and reality franchise, 263 00:14:44,480 --> 00:14:46,840 Speaker 1: you didn't go looking for it. It found you. Oh, 264 00:14:46,960 --> 00:14:49,760 Speaker 1: I made fun of vander Pump rules. I was a 265 00:14:49,800 --> 00:14:53,240 Speaker 1: huge Housewives fan. But if you remember how the first 266 00:14:53,240 --> 00:14:56,280 Speaker 1: episode of vander Pump was kind of like it was 267 00:14:56,280 --> 00:14:59,280 Speaker 1: a lead in off of Real Housewives at Beverly Hills. 268 00:14:59,720 --> 00:15:01,720 Speaker 1: And I said to my mom, I was still living 269 00:15:01,720 --> 00:15:05,320 Speaker 1: in Utah, who would watch this? Who wants to watch servers? 270 00:15:05,560 --> 00:15:09,320 Speaker 1: Like this show looks lame? And my two best friends 271 00:15:09,360 --> 00:15:11,640 Speaker 1: that I grew up with in Utah were working at 272 00:15:11,680 --> 00:15:13,680 Speaker 1: sir so like they would pop in on the show. 273 00:15:14,200 --> 00:15:17,600 Speaker 1: But reality TV was something I just enjoyed. I was 274 00:15:17,640 --> 00:15:21,560 Speaker 1: a serious actress. Oh naturally, I grew up in the arts. 275 00:15:22,120 --> 00:15:26,080 Speaker 1: When oscars one day, God had a very different plan 276 00:15:26,360 --> 00:15:29,320 Speaker 1: for me. So do you think that you went to 277 00:15:29,360 --> 00:15:34,240 Speaker 1: sir knowing that you could end up on the show. No? Really, never. 278 00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:37,320 Speaker 1: I went there because they gave me free food and drinks, 279 00:15:37,520 --> 00:15:40,920 Speaker 1: and I was like, it's starving artist. And I obviously 280 00:15:41,000 --> 00:15:43,520 Speaker 1: knew who was working there because my two best friends 281 00:15:43,560 --> 00:15:44,960 Speaker 1: were working there, So it was kind of like I 282 00:15:45,040 --> 00:15:48,200 Speaker 1: was just in it. It was an organic feel, and 283 00:15:48,640 --> 00:15:52,680 Speaker 1: Lisa saw me being just drunk while I can, which 284 00:15:53,200 --> 00:15:56,360 Speaker 1: is awesome. Glad I'm not her anymore, but it was 285 00:15:56,440 --> 00:16:00,320 Speaker 1: awesome while it lasted. And just asked me, are you 286 00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:03,520 Speaker 1: looking for a job? We need a hostess. And with 287 00:16:03,920 --> 00:16:08,920 Speaker 1: that job came a part on the show. Before that 288 00:16:09,120 --> 00:16:12,800 Speaker 1: job offer on vander Pump came. Not really, I didn't 289 00:16:12,840 --> 00:16:14,560 Speaker 1: know that it was going to turn into a job, 290 00:16:14,720 --> 00:16:17,680 Speaker 1: but I had gone to a million and one castings 291 00:16:18,000 --> 00:16:21,320 Speaker 1: for commercials movies and I was noticing the call sheet 292 00:16:21,600 --> 00:16:24,760 Speaker 1: looked different than it used to and it now had 293 00:16:24,800 --> 00:16:29,280 Speaker 1: on it your social media following, and these girls had 294 00:16:29,320 --> 00:16:33,920 Speaker 1: like hundreds of thousands of followers and I maybe had 295 00:16:33,960 --> 00:16:37,320 Speaker 1: like six hundred and So when I went to the 296 00:16:37,360 --> 00:16:39,480 Speaker 1: restaurant that night, because I left it was I believe 297 00:16:39,520 --> 00:16:41,520 Speaker 1: a Target commercial and I left because I was like, 298 00:16:41,680 --> 00:16:44,440 Speaker 1: I can't compete with these numbers, Like I thought you 299 00:16:44,480 --> 00:16:47,200 Speaker 1: guys were going to care about where I trained for 300 00:16:47,560 --> 00:16:50,400 Speaker 1: acting to deliver this one line. So when I went 301 00:16:50,440 --> 00:16:52,080 Speaker 1: to Stir that night, it was really to just like 302 00:16:52,160 --> 00:16:54,520 Speaker 1: tape the edge off and get a good buzz. And 303 00:16:54,600 --> 00:16:56,920 Speaker 1: when Lisa came to me, I just felt like, what 304 00:16:57,040 --> 00:16:59,040 Speaker 1: do I have to lose, Like if the game has 305 00:16:59,080 --> 00:17:02,600 Speaker 1: shifted and this could help me cut the line I'm in. 306 00:17:03,360 --> 00:17:06,480 Speaker 1: They obviously saw something that they wanted to throw a 307 00:17:06,560 --> 00:17:10,320 Speaker 1: camera up and record my actions. I don't know exactly 308 00:17:10,359 --> 00:17:14,360 Speaker 1: what it was. Maybe I mean, I'm a big personality. 309 00:17:14,560 --> 00:17:17,400 Speaker 1: I'm a hard pill to swallow. I know I'm intense, 310 00:17:17,600 --> 00:17:20,680 Speaker 1: like I'm an acquired taste. But once you develop it, 311 00:17:20,720 --> 00:17:25,720 Speaker 1: like you can't get enough, baby, give me Lala, We're 312 00:17:25,760 --> 00:17:29,360 Speaker 1: not about to disengage, You're about to engage. Oh, I'm 313 00:17:29,400 --> 00:17:31,600 Speaker 1: so happy that I made the trailer. It's kind a 314 00:17:31,640 --> 00:17:33,760 Speaker 1: long way, and I'm happy to have been part of 315 00:17:33,760 --> 00:17:36,200 Speaker 1: her journey. She used to be speaking drinks me on 316 00:17:36,280 --> 00:17:40,879 Speaker 1: the hostess. Then you started your businesses, you give them 317 00:17:40,920 --> 00:17:45,520 Speaker 1: La La brands pretty quickly. I really have to give 318 00:17:45,560 --> 00:17:48,600 Speaker 1: credit to the people who are surrounding me at that time, 319 00:17:49,040 --> 00:17:51,879 Speaker 1: because for me, in my drunken state of mind, I 320 00:17:51,880 --> 00:17:54,960 Speaker 1: thought I had made it like I'm on TV, I 321 00:17:55,000 --> 00:17:58,640 Speaker 1: get to just be myself. And it wasn't until this 322 00:17:58,720 --> 00:18:01,159 Speaker 1: woman who has been a part of my team for 323 00:18:01,200 --> 00:18:03,480 Speaker 1: a very long time, was like, I love this all 324 00:18:03,520 --> 00:18:05,520 Speaker 1: for you, but like, whether you like it or not, 325 00:18:05,720 --> 00:18:08,199 Speaker 1: this show will come to an end one day, because 326 00:18:08,320 --> 00:18:10,520 Speaker 1: all good things come to an end. We got to 327 00:18:10,520 --> 00:18:13,639 Speaker 1: have a game plan, my loves. It is that day. 328 00:18:13,800 --> 00:18:17,040 Speaker 1: I have finally launched Give Them La La Beauty and 329 00:18:17,080 --> 00:18:19,840 Speaker 1: I am so excited to finally share my lippies with 330 00:18:19,880 --> 00:18:22,439 Speaker 1: you guys. Okay, you guys, this is my new moisturizer. 331 00:18:22,440 --> 00:18:25,080 Speaker 1: If I give them Lalla Skin, it is so amazing. 332 00:18:25,320 --> 00:18:29,240 Speaker 1: I use it every single day and night. Hello, my loves, 333 00:18:29,440 --> 00:18:33,280 Speaker 1: and welcome to they Give Them La La Podcast. I'm 334 00:18:33,359 --> 00:18:36,960 Speaker 1: kind of shitting bricks right now because and we came 335 00:18:37,000 --> 00:18:39,040 Speaker 1: out with six lip glasses that I was like, we'll 336 00:18:39,080 --> 00:18:42,680 Speaker 1: just see how it does, and people really loved it. 337 00:18:43,200 --> 00:18:45,639 Speaker 1: And I think what makes Give Them La La different 338 00:18:45,720 --> 00:18:49,760 Speaker 1: than most beauty brands. Is it's approachable. So for me, 339 00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:54,199 Speaker 1: I wanted to give something to people that where it's 340 00:18:54,240 --> 00:18:56,440 Speaker 1: like you can build on it. If you have never 341 00:18:56,520 --> 00:18:59,240 Speaker 1: done makeup a day in your life, or you're an expert, 342 00:18:59,840 --> 00:19:06,560 Speaker 1: you can use this. Tired of ads interrupting your gripping investigations, 343 00:19:07,160 --> 00:19:10,760 Speaker 1: Good news AD free listening on Amazon Music is included 344 00:19:10,800 --> 00:19:13,680 Speaker 1: with your Prime membership. Ads shouldn't be the scariest thing 345 00:19:13,680 --> 00:19:16,919 Speaker 1: about true crime. Just head to Amazon dot com slash 346 00:19:17,000 --> 00:19:19,280 Speaker 1: ad free true Crime to catch up on the latest 347 00:19:19,320 --> 00:19:23,159 Speaker 1: episodes without the ad shows at free for puncuscriptions. Some 348 00:19:23,160 --> 00:19:26,280 Speaker 1: shows me that ready to disrupt your industry without disrupting 349 00:19:26,320 --> 00:19:29,600 Speaker 1: your flow, The LEV Evening NBA program at Santa Clara 350 00:19:29,720 --> 00:19:32,720 Speaker 1: University could be the perfect fit. The LEV School of 351 00:19:32,760 --> 00:19:35,919 Speaker 1: Business is where you'll reach new heights without compromising your 352 00:19:35,920 --> 00:19:39,360 Speaker 1: current career. You'll meet your part time NBA cohor two 353 00:19:39,560 --> 00:19:42,320 Speaker 1: evenings per week on Lev's campus in the very heart 354 00:19:42,320 --> 00:19:47,120 Speaker 1: of Silicon Valley, where innovation and creativity thrive. Join Silicon 355 00:19:47,240 --> 00:19:51,359 Speaker 1: Valley's premiere part time MBA program for working professionals. Search 356 00:19:51,440 --> 00:19:57,840 Speaker 1: Lev Evening MBA to discover more. After the roaring success 357 00:19:57,840 --> 00:20:00,639 Speaker 1: of van der Pump Rules in her new brand, Lala 358 00:20:00,760 --> 00:20:03,680 Speaker 1: was quickly confronted by the reality of her life following 359 00:20:03,680 --> 00:20:06,360 Speaker 1: the death of her father. Can you talk to us 360 00:20:06,400 --> 00:20:09,560 Speaker 1: about you had a journey becoming sober, which I think 361 00:20:09,640 --> 00:20:12,679 Speaker 1: is also so real. What was the day that you 362 00:20:12,680 --> 00:20:15,480 Speaker 1: woke up and said I'm going to start. There were 363 00:20:15,520 --> 00:20:19,760 Speaker 1: many times that I was like, we're not doing this anymore, 364 00:20:19,800 --> 00:20:22,600 Speaker 1: We're not going to drink, and then you know, noon 365 00:20:22,680 --> 00:20:25,840 Speaker 1: hits and it's like, oh, we're drunk at the growth again, lovely, 366 00:20:26,840 --> 00:20:28,639 Speaker 1: and then it was like, you know what, we're going 367 00:20:28,760 --> 00:20:31,200 Speaker 1: to do a two drink maximum. We're only going to 368 00:20:31,280 --> 00:20:33,800 Speaker 1: do beer and wine. And then I just settled into 369 00:20:34,359 --> 00:20:38,000 Speaker 1: you know what, you like drinking when you get pregnant, 370 00:20:38,160 --> 00:20:40,680 Speaker 1: you like you're going to settle down. You're in your twenties, 371 00:20:40,960 --> 00:20:44,879 Speaker 1: just live your best life. It wasn't until October twenty 372 00:20:44,920 --> 00:20:49,560 Speaker 1: second that I had been drinking from morning until night. 373 00:20:50,280 --> 00:20:55,399 Speaker 1: At Disney World. I could not stop obsessing over where 374 00:20:55,440 --> 00:20:58,639 Speaker 1: the bar was getting before we left the hotel. I 375 00:20:58,680 --> 00:21:02,520 Speaker 1: would slam too drinks and get two roadies for the car. 376 00:21:02,560 --> 00:21:06,560 Speaker 1: It was like I was fixated. She talked about this 377 00:21:06,640 --> 00:21:09,680 Speaker 1: in her book Give Them La La, saying I used 378 00:21:09,680 --> 00:21:12,600 Speaker 1: alcohol as a crutch during filming or when things got 379 00:21:12,640 --> 00:21:16,000 Speaker 1: hard in my life. I admitted it to myself. It 380 00:21:16,040 --> 00:21:19,560 Speaker 1: was like eyes opened, you're an alcoholic and you're getting 381 00:21:19,600 --> 00:21:21,760 Speaker 1: help today, and there was nothing that was going to 382 00:21:21,840 --> 00:21:24,920 Speaker 1: change my mind. I for the first time saw the 383 00:21:24,960 --> 00:21:27,920 Speaker 1: tiniest little bit of light at the end of the tunnel, 384 00:21:28,480 --> 00:21:31,160 Speaker 1: and I loved that. It was like I was free. 385 00:21:31,240 --> 00:21:34,480 Speaker 1: I like broke free of chains that day, Like I 386 00:21:34,600 --> 00:21:37,480 Speaker 1: was no longer going to wake up and have these 387 00:21:37,520 --> 00:21:40,439 Speaker 1: moments of like do I drive off of a cliff today? 388 00:21:40,800 --> 00:21:43,359 Speaker 1: We all know what that feeling is like the next morning, 389 00:21:43,800 --> 00:21:46,720 Speaker 1: it's horrific. I never want to live that way again. 390 00:21:47,280 --> 00:21:50,240 Speaker 1: I mean, societally, we're so ill equipped to deal with grief, 391 00:21:50,680 --> 00:21:53,120 Speaker 1: Like we don't have good language, we don't have good 392 00:21:53,160 --> 00:21:56,600 Speaker 1: recognition of what people are going through. What tools did 393 00:21:56,640 --> 00:21:58,880 Speaker 1: you have to deal with so that you could get 394 00:21:58,960 --> 00:22:02,480 Speaker 1: rid of the crutch of dresa. I went to a 395 00:22:02,520 --> 00:22:07,960 Speaker 1: psychiatrist with my ex and she had him leave the 396 00:22:08,040 --> 00:22:10,680 Speaker 1: room at one point and started drilling me on my drinking. 397 00:22:11,480 --> 00:22:13,600 Speaker 1: And she said, I want you to take this phone 398 00:22:13,680 --> 00:22:16,800 Speaker 1: number down, and I like paused and said, are you 399 00:22:17,160 --> 00:22:19,960 Speaker 1: asking me to be sober, because like that ain't happening. 400 00:22:20,560 --> 00:22:22,360 Speaker 1: She said, I'm not asking you to do anything. I'm 401 00:22:22,359 --> 00:22:24,560 Speaker 1: asking you to take a phone number down and if 402 00:22:24,600 --> 00:22:28,040 Speaker 1: you ever need it, reach out to them. That Monday, 403 00:22:28,080 --> 00:22:31,760 Speaker 1: I reached out to that person. I said, I'm Laala, 404 00:22:32,280 --> 00:22:34,479 Speaker 1: I'm an alcoholic. I got your number from so and 405 00:22:34,520 --> 00:22:38,639 Speaker 1: so and I really need help, like I cannot do 406 00:22:38,720 --> 00:22:41,480 Speaker 1: this on my own. And she said, I want you 407 00:22:41,560 --> 00:22:44,720 Speaker 1: to call me every day and on Thursday, I want 408 00:22:44,720 --> 00:22:48,040 Speaker 1: you to come in. And that's what I did. I 409 00:22:48,080 --> 00:22:50,760 Speaker 1: got a sponsor. I was in a meeting Thursday night 410 00:22:51,000 --> 00:22:53,840 Speaker 1: with my sponsor. I had never met before, just spoken 411 00:22:53,880 --> 00:22:55,840 Speaker 1: to her that day on the phone, met her at 412 00:22:55,880 --> 00:22:59,680 Speaker 1: a meeting and we were just doing back to back meetings, 413 00:23:00,359 --> 00:23:05,440 Speaker 1: reading the Big Book, starting my Steps, just unpacking everything 414 00:23:05,480 --> 00:23:09,040 Speaker 1: that I was mortified by in my past that would 415 00:23:09,080 --> 00:23:12,400 Speaker 1: not have happened had I not been drinking, and basically 416 00:23:12,480 --> 00:23:15,800 Speaker 1: just like laying my soul out for someone to just 417 00:23:16,200 --> 00:23:21,199 Speaker 1: look at without judgment. Recognizing her platform, Lalla decided she 418 00:23:21,280 --> 00:23:25,399 Speaker 1: needed to use it to share her story. I'm watching 419 00:23:25,880 --> 00:23:29,399 Speaker 1: my generation struggle people younger than me, older than me, 420 00:23:29,600 --> 00:23:32,520 Speaker 1: and I have something that could potentially save their life, 421 00:23:32,560 --> 00:23:34,480 Speaker 1: and I'm not going to talk about it, so I 422 00:23:34,520 --> 00:23:39,280 Speaker 1: feel the need to talk about it. In your book, 423 00:23:39,320 --> 00:23:43,000 Speaker 1: you're actually quite effusive about your ex as being part 424 00:23:43,040 --> 00:23:45,919 Speaker 1: of the sobriety process for you. Do you think that 425 00:23:46,119 --> 00:23:49,000 Speaker 1: you were maybe sort of subbing in like a codependency 426 00:23:49,040 --> 00:23:53,120 Speaker 1: with him for the alcohol. I think he blanketed himself 427 00:23:53,280 --> 00:23:55,879 Speaker 1: in a lot of ways in my world, like he 428 00:23:56,000 --> 00:23:58,560 Speaker 1: wanted now, like I said, I can look back and 429 00:23:58,640 --> 00:24:02,480 Speaker 1: him saying that he wanted me to be sober while 430 00:24:02,520 --> 00:24:06,320 Speaker 1: he was out getting wasted and doing drugs, or me 431 00:24:06,440 --> 00:24:09,600 Speaker 1: being a month sober and taking me to a nightclub 432 00:24:10,040 --> 00:24:13,520 Speaker 1: for my birthday and having them bring out magnum bottles 433 00:24:13,560 --> 00:24:19,000 Speaker 1: of Tito's with Lala, You're not helping me stay sober. 434 00:24:19,440 --> 00:24:22,879 Speaker 1: So I think he tried to appear that he was 435 00:24:22,920 --> 00:24:27,280 Speaker 1: helping me in many ways when actually, like I was 436 00:24:27,320 --> 00:24:30,440 Speaker 1: holding the power the whole time. I had the power 437 00:24:30,480 --> 00:24:33,840 Speaker 1: the whole time. That wasn't him, That was my own 438 00:24:33,880 --> 00:24:38,040 Speaker 1: freaking strength. As we talked, I wanted to understand her 439 00:24:38,080 --> 00:24:41,600 Speaker 1: new perspective since writing her book, her perspective outside of 440 00:24:41,600 --> 00:24:46,480 Speaker 1: the cameras in the headlines. I feel because what was 441 00:24:46,520 --> 00:24:49,600 Speaker 1: going on at home was so different than what was 442 00:24:49,640 --> 00:24:53,600 Speaker 1: on vander Pump. You know, I was constantly dealing with him. 443 00:24:54,040 --> 00:24:56,399 Speaker 1: What did you talk about today? You didn't talk about me, 444 00:24:57,200 --> 00:24:59,680 Speaker 1: What did you say? There was so much pressure that 445 00:24:59,760 --> 00:25:02,240 Speaker 1: when I I went to film vander Pump, it was 446 00:25:02,640 --> 00:25:05,040 Speaker 1: put on a happy face because I don't want to 447 00:25:05,080 --> 00:25:08,240 Speaker 1: deal with that at home. When this airs, I don't 448 00:25:08,240 --> 00:25:10,639 Speaker 1: have it in me. It's taking a lot for me 449 00:25:10,680 --> 00:25:14,120 Speaker 1: to even be here. My mom now says you were 450 00:25:14,160 --> 00:25:16,919 Speaker 1: in a severe depression when you weren't filming and I 451 00:25:16,920 --> 00:25:20,439 Speaker 1: would come out. You were in a bathrobe from morning 452 00:25:20,600 --> 00:25:22,919 Speaker 1: until night. I couldn't even get you to leave the 453 00:25:23,000 --> 00:25:28,120 Speaker 1: house because you were so just depleted. I just thought 454 00:25:28,119 --> 00:25:31,200 Speaker 1: that I liked being at home. That was not the case. 455 00:25:31,840 --> 00:25:36,960 Speaker 1: I was miserable, but had become just comfortable with what 456 00:25:37,160 --> 00:25:40,040 Speaker 1: was my normal. It's hard for me to watch vander 457 00:25:40,080 --> 00:25:42,520 Speaker 1: Pump in the sense that when I watch and I 458 00:25:42,560 --> 00:25:44,800 Speaker 1: see things, I'm like, oh, I remember that day because 459 00:25:44,840 --> 00:25:48,840 Speaker 1: at home, this happened. Right. But a person can only 460 00:25:48,880 --> 00:25:53,640 Speaker 1: take so much before they explode. Before those photos came 461 00:25:53,680 --> 00:25:56,520 Speaker 1: out of him with the other two chicks, I was 462 00:25:56,560 --> 00:26:02,639 Speaker 1: already looking at houses, planning to get out, and I 463 00:26:02,720 --> 00:26:04,800 Speaker 1: knew that I was going to have to share my baby. 464 00:26:05,200 --> 00:26:07,120 Speaker 1: I most certainly thought I was just going to leave 465 00:26:07,160 --> 00:26:09,720 Speaker 1: the house. I was going to start a new life. 466 00:26:10,200 --> 00:26:13,960 Speaker 1: I would have a co parent. And then on October fifteenth, 467 00:26:14,000 --> 00:26:17,399 Speaker 1: it was like, oh no, this is real life, Like 468 00:26:17,520 --> 00:26:20,760 Speaker 1: this person is a really bad guy, and we got 469 00:26:20,800 --> 00:26:23,000 Speaker 1: to enter a custody battle, Like not only do you 470 00:26:23,040 --> 00:26:24,400 Speaker 1: have to leave, you got to get the kid out. 471 00:26:25,119 --> 00:26:26,680 Speaker 1: And now I've been in it for over a year. 472 00:26:27,440 --> 00:26:32,320 Speaker 1: And unless you've got the funds and you've got something, 473 00:26:32,760 --> 00:26:35,720 Speaker 1: things that can really really back you up, like you 474 00:26:35,800 --> 00:26:37,680 Speaker 1: have to be comfortable with just like you got to 475 00:26:37,720 --> 00:26:40,480 Speaker 1: split the kid. He wasn't around the first little bit. 476 00:26:40,480 --> 00:26:42,639 Speaker 1: Well he wants to be around now, so drop the 477 00:26:42,720 --> 00:26:46,239 Speaker 1: kid off. You're breastfeeding, well, too bad, start weaning her 478 00:26:46,240 --> 00:26:48,600 Speaker 1: off because you got to share the kid. It is 479 00:26:49,240 --> 00:26:53,840 Speaker 1: disturbing And I'm not the only one. What do you 480 00:26:53,880 --> 00:27:04,919 Speaker 1: want to be remembered for? Oh my passion right now? Sorry, 481 00:27:09,000 --> 00:27:12,240 Speaker 1: I really really have to make an impact in the 482 00:27:12,240 --> 00:27:18,800 Speaker 1: family court system and protecting women and children. Violence Against 483 00:27:18,880 --> 00:27:22,800 Speaker 1: Women's Act is very important to me. Caden's Law needs 484 00:27:22,800 --> 00:27:26,920 Speaker 1: to be passed in all fifty states. There's just things 485 00:27:26,920 --> 00:27:29,080 Speaker 1: that I never thought that I would have to deal 486 00:27:29,119 --> 00:27:33,719 Speaker 1: with that I'm dealing with. And what was really really 487 00:27:34,400 --> 00:27:37,800 Speaker 1: just jaw dropping and almost like a nightmare, was that 488 00:27:37,960 --> 00:27:41,560 Speaker 1: my situation is not unique and I actually have a 489 00:27:41,640 --> 00:27:45,040 Speaker 1: voice and a platform. Like there are women who sit 490 00:27:45,119 --> 00:27:48,600 Speaker 1: there and their children belong to a court system. These 491 00:27:48,640 --> 00:27:51,960 Speaker 1: women carry their children for nine months, they know what's 492 00:27:52,000 --> 00:27:55,600 Speaker 1: best for them, and they've got some random person in 493 00:27:55,640 --> 00:27:58,520 Speaker 1: a courthouse that's going to tell them what's best for 494 00:27:58,600 --> 00:28:02,399 Speaker 1: their child. My heart is pounding just thinking about it. 495 00:28:02,440 --> 00:28:05,800 Speaker 1: I mean, women and children are losing their lives, begging 496 00:28:05,840 --> 00:28:10,120 Speaker 1: for protection, and because no one does anything, you can't 497 00:28:10,160 --> 00:28:13,840 Speaker 1: repair it. We've got to stop stepping in when it's 498 00:28:13,880 --> 00:28:18,439 Speaker 1: too late. I mean, you're one of the rare people 499 00:28:18,480 --> 00:28:21,639 Speaker 1: who actually has footage to go back and see themselves 500 00:28:21,760 --> 00:28:24,040 Speaker 1: because you were actually filmed through all of it. Do 501 00:28:24,119 --> 00:28:26,560 Speaker 1: you look back and think to yourself like, ugh, you know, 502 00:28:27,160 --> 00:28:29,240 Speaker 1: I should have thought differently about that. I should have 503 00:28:29,720 --> 00:28:31,560 Speaker 1: seen that flag. Like do you go back and think 504 00:28:31,600 --> 00:28:36,400 Speaker 1: that you can literally see it? Yeah? Once I had 505 00:28:36,400 --> 00:28:40,240 Speaker 1: the thirty thousand foot view, it took a lot of 506 00:28:40,280 --> 00:28:45,000 Speaker 1: work for me to not just kick myself and go 507 00:28:45,120 --> 00:28:48,920 Speaker 1: how could you be so stupid? A lot? There were 508 00:28:48,960 --> 00:28:52,760 Speaker 1: red flags everywhere, and whether I just chose not to 509 00:28:53,080 --> 00:28:56,400 Speaker 1: see them, or whether I was in my alcoholism, or 510 00:28:56,440 --> 00:28:58,520 Speaker 1: maybe I was just burnt out and I just didn't 511 00:28:58,520 --> 00:29:01,440 Speaker 1: have the energy to care. I don't know what it 512 00:29:01,640 --> 00:29:04,160 Speaker 1: was that was making it so I couldn't see what 513 00:29:04,280 --> 00:29:06,880 Speaker 1: was in front of me. But I think unless you've 514 00:29:06,920 --> 00:29:10,360 Speaker 1: been through it and dealt with that type of situation, 515 00:29:11,080 --> 00:29:14,560 Speaker 1: you will never understand. I can try to explain it 516 00:29:14,600 --> 00:29:17,520 Speaker 1: to people and no matter what, I'm going to look 517 00:29:17,600 --> 00:29:20,680 Speaker 1: like You're just an idiot. You didn't want to see it. Oh, 518 00:29:20,720 --> 00:29:23,800 Speaker 1: you just liked as money, you just liked this. But 519 00:29:23,920 --> 00:29:26,320 Speaker 1: women who have been through it where we connect and 520 00:29:26,360 --> 00:29:31,600 Speaker 1: have that bond because they understand that's unbreakable, because unless 521 00:29:31,640 --> 00:29:34,640 Speaker 1: you've been in it, you don't understand the amount of 522 00:29:35,520 --> 00:29:40,600 Speaker 1: just constant mental abuse and breakdown to where you're just 523 00:29:40,600 --> 00:29:43,280 Speaker 1: a shell of a person, and when you come out 524 00:29:43,320 --> 00:29:46,040 Speaker 1: of it, you're looking at yourself going who am I? 525 00:29:46,160 --> 00:29:48,200 Speaker 1: What do I stand for? How did I end up here? 526 00:29:48,640 --> 00:29:53,600 Speaker 1: Like you're just broken, depleted. So I've thought about this 527 00:29:53,840 --> 00:29:56,800 Speaker 1: over I've obsessed over it, and it has kept me 528 00:29:56,920 --> 00:30:02,280 Speaker 1: up many nights cold sweats, thinking I just don't understand. 529 00:30:02,360 --> 00:30:05,280 Speaker 1: I've got to make it make sense. You can't make 530 00:30:05,320 --> 00:30:09,360 Speaker 1: sense of it. Your response is making me feel self 531 00:30:09,400 --> 00:30:13,680 Speaker 1: conscious that I framed the question almost like asking you 532 00:30:14,720 --> 00:30:17,040 Speaker 1: to have been able to have seen it. I don't 533 00:30:17,040 --> 00:30:19,480 Speaker 1: take it that way I at all. I don't feel 534 00:30:19,480 --> 00:30:22,760 Speaker 1: any I don't feel any judgment from you. I hope not. 535 00:30:23,040 --> 00:30:26,360 Speaker 1: No I do. It's like I feel like it's it's 536 00:30:26,360 --> 00:30:32,120 Speaker 1: that you can't see it. But through it all, her 537 00:30:32,160 --> 00:30:35,120 Speaker 1: support system was solid, even having kids at the same 538 00:30:35,160 --> 00:30:39,360 Speaker 1: time as her castmates, but also in the parenting that 539 00:30:39,440 --> 00:30:41,280 Speaker 1: you guys went through it, like are you guys in 540 00:30:41,320 --> 00:30:44,280 Speaker 1: a pregnancy pact? I really don't know how that happened. 541 00:30:46,120 --> 00:30:50,760 Speaker 1: I mean, I really don't. Like I remember Stacy, Brittany, Katie, 542 00:30:50,840 --> 00:30:54,200 Speaker 1: and myself saying to each other like we should like 543 00:30:54,600 --> 00:30:57,120 Speaker 1: tried to have babies together. But like that was just 544 00:30:57,160 --> 00:30:59,480 Speaker 1: like a fun talk that you do on a PJ. 545 00:31:00,080 --> 00:31:04,120 Speaker 1: You know. I was like, you're having girls talk, and 546 00:31:04,160 --> 00:31:08,400 Speaker 1: then all of a sudden, it was like Stacy is pregnant. 547 00:31:09,120 --> 00:31:11,880 Speaker 1: After she got pregnant, I feel like that's when everyone 548 00:31:12,000 --> 00:31:13,800 Speaker 1: was like, oh, we're like doing this, we should just 549 00:31:13,800 --> 00:31:16,880 Speaker 1: do it. Yeah, we're doing this, Like I called my accent, 550 00:31:17,000 --> 00:31:20,960 Speaker 1: was like, here's the deal, Like I want my friends 551 00:31:21,480 --> 00:31:23,280 Speaker 1: to have babies that are friends with my kid, Like 552 00:31:23,280 --> 00:31:26,120 Speaker 1: I don't want to go make mom friends. So we're 553 00:31:26,200 --> 00:31:29,680 Speaker 1: not getting married. The pandemic is pausing everything. We know. 554 00:31:29,720 --> 00:31:33,200 Speaker 1: We're going to be together forever. Cut to spoiler alert 555 00:31:33,480 --> 00:31:36,480 Speaker 1: did not happen, but like, let's just get it pop 556 00:31:36,520 --> 00:31:39,200 Speaker 1: in and then it was back to back. Shea was 557 00:31:39,240 --> 00:31:43,320 Speaker 1: the craziest cause Sheina was nowhere near those conversations of 558 00:31:43,400 --> 00:31:47,080 Speaker 1: like getting pregnant together and she was also knocked up. 559 00:31:47,960 --> 00:31:50,920 Speaker 1: Do you think that because some are still on the 560 00:31:50,960 --> 00:31:53,080 Speaker 1: show and some are not on the show, has that 561 00:31:53,200 --> 00:31:56,960 Speaker 1: changed your actual relationships because you just have to spend 562 00:31:56,960 --> 00:31:59,560 Speaker 1: more time with the people that are on it. I 563 00:31:59,600 --> 00:32:04,680 Speaker 1: think that motherhood, like when you have friends who have 564 00:32:04,800 --> 00:32:08,000 Speaker 1: babies and you're also on the same show together, like 565 00:32:08,080 --> 00:32:12,280 Speaker 1: you just naturally gravitate towards those people. I've had ups 566 00:32:12,280 --> 00:32:14,400 Speaker 1: and downs with my entire cast, but I will say 567 00:32:14,720 --> 00:32:17,280 Speaker 1: Sheena and I have probably had the most bumps in 568 00:32:17,320 --> 00:32:20,959 Speaker 1: the road, and we're in such a great place and 569 00:32:21,080 --> 00:32:25,240 Speaker 1: just having the lightheartedness and being able to talk to 570 00:32:25,240 --> 00:32:29,760 Speaker 1: her about things that she understands, and also talking to 571 00:32:29,760 --> 00:32:31,960 Speaker 1: her about things that she may not understand but has 572 00:32:32,000 --> 00:32:35,800 Speaker 1: a baby, so she can only imagine, Like what the 573 00:32:35,880 --> 00:32:40,680 Speaker 1: dynamic is between me and my ex. It's just very 574 00:32:40,760 --> 00:32:43,800 Speaker 1: important for me to maintain the friendships, whether the people 575 00:32:43,800 --> 00:32:46,360 Speaker 1: are on the show or not. You are in a 576 00:32:46,440 --> 00:32:49,640 Speaker 1: unique position where you kind of have a coport, Like 577 00:32:49,840 --> 00:32:53,920 Speaker 1: you have your cast members right which it feels like 578 00:32:53,960 --> 00:32:57,240 Speaker 1: have become real friends. They are They're like my family, 579 00:32:57,400 --> 00:33:00,520 Speaker 1: even when we're going toes with each other telling each 580 00:33:00,520 --> 00:33:02,600 Speaker 1: other I can't stand you. Maybe they don't feel this 581 00:33:02,640 --> 00:33:04,920 Speaker 1: way about me. I most certainly feel this way about them, 582 00:33:05,360 --> 00:33:08,720 Speaker 1: where I'm like I can't stand you, but like I 583 00:33:08,760 --> 00:33:12,040 Speaker 1: really freaking love you. If you needed anything, I'd be there, 584 00:33:12,080 --> 00:33:14,760 Speaker 1: But like you do annoy me. Well, you guys have 585 00:33:14,840 --> 00:33:18,480 Speaker 1: gone through something together over many years that people on 586 00:33:18,520 --> 00:33:21,960 Speaker 1: the outside can't possibly understand. No, Like do you have 587 00:33:22,040 --> 00:33:24,880 Speaker 1: these business conversations about like I'm going into this line, 588 00:33:25,000 --> 00:33:26,800 Speaker 1: what I'm thinking about this, Like you should structure it 589 00:33:26,800 --> 00:33:30,240 Speaker 1: this way. I wish we had more of those conversations. 590 00:33:30,440 --> 00:33:34,680 Speaker 1: I think our cast is very competitive. I don't necessarily 591 00:33:34,760 --> 00:33:39,880 Speaker 1: think that my cast is rooting for people to do 592 00:33:40,120 --> 00:33:42,840 Speaker 1: great things. I mean, it's more of like, wait, you're 593 00:33:42,920 --> 00:33:45,840 Speaker 1: doing that? Why am I not doing that? It's very strange. 594 00:33:46,440 --> 00:33:49,280 Speaker 1: I most certainly want to see them all thrive because 595 00:33:49,360 --> 00:33:51,840 Speaker 1: I want to be around a bunch of bosses. So 596 00:33:52,880 --> 00:33:56,600 Speaker 1: do you even want a man? I don't know yet. 597 00:33:57,040 --> 00:33:59,280 Speaker 1: Can I tell you what my dream would be? Getting 598 00:33:59,360 --> 00:34:02,040 Speaker 1: a big old house, filling it with all of my 599 00:34:02,120 --> 00:34:05,040 Speaker 1: girls in my gaze, and then we can all just 600 00:34:05,080 --> 00:34:07,200 Speaker 1: have hot men come in and out and like we 601 00:34:07,240 --> 00:34:11,080 Speaker 1: don't need anything from them, just strictly getting off purposes. 602 00:34:11,320 --> 00:34:15,520 Speaker 1: That sounds extremely reasonable to me. It sounds great, right, Yeah, 603 00:34:15,719 --> 00:34:18,680 Speaker 1: I am okay on my own. If someone were to 604 00:34:18,719 --> 00:34:22,200 Speaker 1: tell me you never find like a life partner, a dude, 605 00:34:22,239 --> 00:34:25,319 Speaker 1: it's like, I'm good. I don't need that. Do I 606 00:34:25,400 --> 00:34:27,799 Speaker 1: want that? Yes? That would be great if I could 607 00:34:27,800 --> 00:34:29,759 Speaker 1: find it, But if it never happens, it's not going 608 00:34:29,840 --> 00:34:33,200 Speaker 1: to shake my world. What is something in your life 609 00:34:33,200 --> 00:34:35,080 Speaker 1: that you at the time thought was kind of a 610 00:34:35,120 --> 00:34:37,840 Speaker 1: negative or like a low point, and in retrospect you 611 00:34:37,880 --> 00:34:40,880 Speaker 1: see it as having launched you. Probably all of my 612 00:34:40,960 --> 00:34:45,480 Speaker 1: drunken moments. All of my drunken moments have turned into 613 00:34:45,960 --> 00:34:47,799 Speaker 1: iconic moments. I thought they were going to be the 614 00:34:47,840 --> 00:34:51,400 Speaker 1: end of the world, iconic moments and led me to sobriety, 615 00:34:51,840 --> 00:34:55,400 Speaker 1: and I'm like, this is awesome. How can I have 616 00:34:55,680 --> 00:34:58,719 Speaker 1: iconic moments and then come out of them where it's 617 00:34:58,719 --> 00:35:00,640 Speaker 1: like that was a dark time? Call it for you, 618 00:35:01,040 --> 00:35:04,120 Speaker 1: very dark for me. Yeah, we're all winning. I would 619 00:35:04,120 --> 00:35:06,719 Speaker 1: say that. Thank you so much, Lala. It's been so 620 00:35:06,800 --> 00:35:12,640 Speaker 1: great having you. Thank you for having me. You can 621 00:35:12,640 --> 00:35:15,600 Speaker 1: catch Laala on the latest season of vander Pump Rules. 622 00:35:16,280 --> 00:35:20,040 Speaker 1: She continues to run her Give Them Laala Empire, which 623 00:35:20,080 --> 00:35:26,560 Speaker 1: includes her book, Baby Brand, skincare, and podcast Between it All. 624 00:35:26,680 --> 00:35:29,480 Speaker 1: Laala is a proud mom to her daughter, Ocean, and 625 00:35:29,600 --> 00:35:32,400 Speaker 1: still speaks on her sobriety journey in the hopes that 626 00:35:32,440 --> 00:35:36,200 Speaker 1: sharing her story will help spread awareness. You can find 627 00:35:36,280 --> 00:35:42,000 Speaker 1: Laala on Instagram at Lalla Kent. To learn more about 628 00:35:42,000 --> 00:35:46,440 Speaker 1: our guests, follow us on Instagram at she Pivots. The podcast. 629 00:35:47,160 --> 00:35:49,920 Speaker 1: Leave a rating and comment if you enjoyed this episode 630 00:35:50,120 --> 00:35:53,680 Speaker 1: to help others learn about it. A special thank you 631 00:35:53,719 --> 00:35:56,080 Speaker 1: to our partner Marie Clare and the team that made 632 00:35:56,120 --> 00:36:03,400 Speaker 1: this episode possible. Talk to you next week. She Pivots 633 00:36:03,440 --> 00:36:07,360 Speaker 1: is hosted by me Emily Tish Sussman, produced by Emily 634 00:36:07,600 --> 00:36:11,440 Speaker 1: eda Veloshik, with sound editing and mixing from Nina Pollock 635 00:36:11,840 --> 00:36:15,360 Speaker 1: and research and planning from Christine Dickinson and Hannah Cousins. 636 00:36:16,800 --> 00:36:31,320 Speaker 1: I norsh Te Pivots. 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