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Speaker 1: Hi, Welcome back to the Carol Markowitz Show on iHeartRadio.

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Speaker 1: My guest today is Lisa Dipasqually. Lisa's author of the

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Speaker 1: gen X Handbook for Middle Age, writer and substacker at

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Speaker 1: get bright dot subseac dot com, and the former director

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Speaker 1: of CEPAC.

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Speaker 2: Hi, Lisa is so nice to have you on.

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Speaker 3: Hi, Carol, thanks for having me.

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Speaker 1: So the gen X Handbook for Middle Age.

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Speaker 2: I guess this is it. We're middle aged. This is

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Speaker 2: a fact.

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Speaker 4: I mean, we shoure lucky, right right, I guess we're

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Speaker 4: also true.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, what made you write the gen X Handbook?

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Speaker 4: Well, basically for me, at like age forty one, I

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Speaker 4: found myself single, unemployed, over three hundred pounds and basically,

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Speaker 4: oh and in about fifty thousand dollars in credit card debt.

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Speaker 4: This is all like post c pack wow, and basically

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Speaker 4: just spending too much time working for political nonprofits.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: I started with with weight loss to just get my

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Speaker 4: health back on track. There was a Bible verse that

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Speaker 4: I had read from Moses, I have put before you

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Speaker 4: light and dark, therefore choose or life and death. Light

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Speaker 4: and dark, therefore choose life.

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Speaker 3: And that's kind of when I went from the mindset of.

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Speaker 4: Rather than you know, kind of pretend to lose weight

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Speaker 4: so that when something happened to me and my family

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Speaker 4: would think, you know, she did all she could do.

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Speaker 4: It was like, no, I'm actually going to choose to

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Speaker 4: have a better life. And that was kind of the

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Speaker 4: beginning of you know, for me losing one hundred and

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Speaker 4: seventy pounds and just the catalyst for yeah, you know,

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Speaker 4: through good things in my life. I you know, obviously

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Speaker 4: found a job. I became debt free by twenty twenty one.

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Speaker 4: By twenty twenty two, I left a blue state like

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Speaker 4: you to find.

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Speaker 3: Smart, yeah, better life.

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Speaker 2: Where'd you go?

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Speaker 3: I'm in Texas, okay, but I left to eat the.

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Speaker 4: Northern Virginia for Texas in twenty twenty two, you know,

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Speaker 4: right after they're kind of in the midst of COVID

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Speaker 4: and and all of that. I don't have kids, but

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Speaker 4: it was just an overall you know, bfe also to

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Speaker 4: be with the love of my life, all.

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Speaker 2: Right, So a lot of things weren't right.

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Speaker 4: Like I said for the book, then, is just that

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Speaker 4: you know, we hear so often that you know, you

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Speaker 4: can't teach old dog new tricks.

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Speaker 3: And like one day it just sort of came to me.

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Speaker 4: Wait a minute, I did all of these things, you know,

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Speaker 4: particularly for women, you know, in my forties, and my

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Speaker 4: love of pop culture and particularly gen X pop culture,

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Speaker 4: which just a way to have fun with the subject

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Speaker 4: and you know, shoehorn all of my you know, favorite hues,

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Speaker 4: movies and quotes and things like that.

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Speaker 2: I love it.

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Speaker 1: So gen X is kind of unique where I think

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Speaker 1: that we aren't as obvious what our problems are. Like

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Speaker 1: I can tell you what millennials problems are or what

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Speaker 1: gen Z. For sure, I can tell you what the

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Speaker 1: boomers issues were, but gen X were sort of the

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Speaker 1: forgotten generation, and I don't think that our problems have

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Speaker 1: been explored.

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Speaker 2: As much as the other generations. So what would you

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Speaker 2: say is our biggest issue?

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Speaker 4: From what I see from a lot of people, it's

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Speaker 4: that they're kind of worried about retirement. And we kind

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Speaker 4: of grew up thinking that we were not going to

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Speaker 4: see social security.

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Speaker 3: You know, we're going to.

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Speaker 4: The last retirees. But it's all, you know, kind of

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Speaker 4: on us. I mean, the good thing about it is

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Speaker 4: that I think we're well equipped for that. And then

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Speaker 4: the other thing that I here from other people it's

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Speaker 4: just being the Sandwich generation and that they're finding themselves

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Speaker 4: taking care of their parents, right and then also navigating

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Speaker 4: taking care care of, you know, of their their kids.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Absolutely, I think that that's you know, that's just where

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Speaker 1: the age is at right now.

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Speaker 2: But like, you know, I feel like with.

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Speaker 1: Millennials, they're kind of thought as as people pleasers and

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Speaker 1: then Gen z's like the lazy the boomers won't let go.

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Speaker 1: Do we have something like that that makes us a

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Speaker 1: problem for other people?

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Speaker 4: I think it's like it's like with a lot of things,

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Speaker 4: you know, like if we were in a job interview

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Speaker 4: and you asked me for my biggest weakness, you know,

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Speaker 4: I would kind of tell you how it was also

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Speaker 4: my strength.

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Speaker 2: It's perfectionist, of course.

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Speaker 3: And I think for Gen X it's probably our independence.

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Speaker 3: So like, on one.

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Speaker 2: Hand, yeah, that's a good one.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, you know, I read this statistic the other day

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Speaker 4: that was something like twenty percent of kids that are

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Speaker 4: sixteen are getting their driver's license or have an interest

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Speaker 4: in getting a driver's license, And I that was just

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Speaker 4: like crazy.

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Speaker 2: Now, we couldn't wait to be free.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, And so you wanted to have your own space,

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Speaker 4: you wanted to be out of the freedom just to

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Speaker 4: even you know, go a couple streets over. You wanted

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Speaker 4: to be able to get a job so that you

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Speaker 4: could have the independence of your own money. And I

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Speaker 4: think on the negative side, our independence is probably not

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Speaker 4: asking for help, like you said, you know when in

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Speaker 4: the places where we needed I mean, yeah.

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Speaker 2: We want to do it all ourselves.

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Speaker 4: It's apologizing for asking people, oh, do you want to

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Speaker 4: talk about my book?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Right, yes, that is one of our issues for sure,

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Speaker 1: asking for help when you lost the weight and you

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Speaker 1: got yourself out of debt and all of that. Is

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Speaker 1: it hard to talk about and to go back to

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Speaker 1: a place where you were in a dark place, right,

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Speaker 1: I mean you couldn't have been happy?

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Speaker 3: Then?

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Speaker 2: Is that hard to discuss with the public?

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Speaker 1: Like I saw you on Michael Malice's show, for example,

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Speaker 1: and I was like, she is brave talking about this

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Speaker 1: talking about weight loss, and he is, you know, Malice

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Speaker 1: asks some uh some real pointed questions.

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Speaker 2: So I thought of you was very brave for doing that.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm hopefully I'm going to get my third chance,

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Speaker 4: or actually I think it's my fourth episode with him,

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Speaker 4: and so this will now be after my loose skin

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Speaker 4: removal surgery, and so you know, hopefully we'll get into

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Speaker 4: the issues of the book. But also I'm kind of

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Speaker 4: looking forward to not having to go back to the past.

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Speaker 1: But I write, right, yeah, helps.

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Speaker 4: Is I think at the very least, you know, it

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Speaker 4: sounds kind of cliche to say that I do want

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Speaker 4: to help people that you know might be in in

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Speaker 4: my situation and come at it from an honest way.

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Speaker 3: I mean, if I didn't talk.

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Speaker 4: About, say my weight at all, that the actual number,

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Speaker 4: like being my highest three hundred twenty pounds at five

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Speaker 4: to four, you know, someone who might be slightly over

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Speaker 4: slightly under all of that, they kind of wouldn't know

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Speaker 4: where I was, you know, coming from as far as

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Speaker 4: you know, having that same you know, he'll he'll to

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Speaker 4: go up. The other thing that I think made it

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Speaker 4: kind of easier for me is being in politics for.

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Speaker 3: For so long.

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Speaker 4: You know, some of my most public moments were at

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Speaker 4: that you know, highest weight.

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Speaker 3: I mean when I was the director of.

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Speaker 4: Sea Pack, I uh introduced Rush Limbaugh in two thousand

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Speaker 4: and nine when he was on stage and we basically

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Speaker 4: looked like the same size.

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Speaker 3: We were both wearing very slimming.

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Speaker 4: And then in twenty eleven, I invited Donald Trump top

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Speaker 4: get Seapack.

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Speaker 3: For his you know, first ever political speech.

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Speaker 4: And you know that that picture of me and him

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Speaker 4: at Seapack is on his Wikipedia for like forever. I

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Speaker 4: think he will probably be forever because he looks really angry,

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Speaker 4: because I think he'll probably keep it.

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Speaker 2: And they love that. Yeah, uh huh.

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Speaker 4: And so I mean, if I get anything out of

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Speaker 4: this experience, I just want like another picture taken with.

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Speaker 3: With for sure.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and he's looking svelt. Also, he's like lost weight

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Speaker 1: and yeah. It's also it's funny because you know, they's

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Speaker 1: even commenting on waight right like I I you know,

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Speaker 1: I don't love when people are like, oh my god,

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Speaker 1: you lost weight, like I'm often I haven't. Like it's

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Speaker 1: just my makeup's a little bit better that day. I

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Speaker 1: like conterered out the chin a little bit better. And

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Speaker 1: so then you have to be like, no, actually, I

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Speaker 1: haven't lost any weight. I don't really know what you're talking,

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Speaker 1: you know, just like there's like the running commentary on

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Speaker 1: stuff like that. I don't know, and then you and

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Speaker 1: then you're talking so openly about it.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, And I think what helped is being like slightly better,

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Speaker 4: you know at certain times. But then you know there

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Speaker 4: are times, you know, like the first interview I did

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Speaker 4: with with Michael Malice.

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Speaker 3: I did have, you know, regrets. I hope.

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Speaker 4: I don't know if he'll I'll hear this, and you know,

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Speaker 4: this is negative against him because he's a good friend.

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Speaker 3: But I thought, based on.

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Speaker 4: The comments, you know, I did this too soon because

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Speaker 4: I was kind of expecting kind of to get credit

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Speaker 4: for what I had done so far, and there was

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Speaker 4: really any.

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Speaker 2: Really that's too badly.

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Speaker 3: Jokes not from him, although of course.

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Speaker 2: Not from him.

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Speaker 1: I mean, yeah, yeah, he did have How much had

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Speaker 1: you lost by that point?

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Speaker 3: Maybe around one hundred pounds?

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Speaker 2: Wow?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, but I was still I was over two hundred.

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Speaker 2: Just people on the internet.

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Speaker 1: You can't you know what I mean, Like, it's just

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Speaker 1: you can't take them seriously. You got to just imagine

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Speaker 1: that they are like four hundred pounds and in their basements.

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Speaker 1: And Matt mad at you for for fixing yourself, for

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Speaker 1: like trying to be better, for you know, making positive changes.

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Speaker 2: What was the hardest kind of adjustment?

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Speaker 1: Was it the way?

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Speaker 2: Was it the you know, getting out of debt?

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Speaker 3: Was it?

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Speaker 1: I mean, was it leaving the blue state, Like, what

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Speaker 1: was the toughest change for you?

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Speaker 4: Oh, my gosh it, I think probably as far as

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Speaker 4: getting out of my comfort zone. I mean, this is

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Speaker 4: such a good time to talk about it with after

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Speaker 4: you know, the election.

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Speaker 1: We're recording this the day after the election where mom

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Speaker 1: Donnie becomes the socialist mayor of New York City and

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Speaker 1: Virginia and New Jersey unsurprisingly really but they stay blue.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: I think that's important to remember, is like blue states

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Speaker 4: remain blue.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, so.

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Speaker 4: Blue Mother's th blue. It might have been leaving that

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Speaker 4: comfort zone of warhead I had been for the last

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Speaker 4: you know, twenty some years.

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Speaker 3: I mean prior to that, I grew up in Florida.

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Speaker 4: So I left Florida at twenty one and then left

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Speaker 4: Virginia at forty five.

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Speaker 3: So I lived in slightly wow, Yeah, northern Virginia. So

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Speaker 3: like the blue Virginia.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, the real blue Virginia.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: And you know, coming to a state, you know, working

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Speaker 4: remote and it's kind of like and I'm not in

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Speaker 4: a big city.

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Speaker 3: I'm between Waco and Austin.

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Speaker 4: So you know, my my plan A is to be

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Speaker 4: a writer on substacks sell books. I don't know what

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Speaker 4: job opportunities are here when yeah, it happens there. I

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Speaker 4: mean I can obviously commute to Austin or or move,

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Speaker 4: but I think it was a really big chance.

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Speaker 3: On top of that, you know.

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Speaker 4: Movie it does shift Yeah for a relationship, right, I

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Speaker 4: mean that's also from yeah yeah.

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Speaker 2: Did you guys meet online or was it like not.

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Speaker 3: In a dating way.

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Speaker 4: He had read some of my stuff on I'm Brightbard

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Speaker 4: and asked, you know in Arizona. I let him know,

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Speaker 4: and as it happened, I was going to be there

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Speaker 4: the next week. This was in twenty fourteen. And then

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Speaker 4: we were just you know, friends for years and years,

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Speaker 4: and then one day we're kind of just like, wait

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Speaker 4: a minute, you're my person, You're I love you.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I love that.

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Speaker 1: I didn't tell my husband and me. Also, we're best

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Speaker 1: friends for like a decade.

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Speaker 2: That's great. That's the way to do it.

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Speaker 1: I recommend it to everybody. Go find a best friend,

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Speaker 1: wait a little while, and then marry them.

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Speaker 4: Well, and I should mention he's you know, I'm a writer.

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Speaker 4: He's a very talented artist. He was with DC and

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Speaker 4: Marble for.

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Speaker 3: Twenty plus years. He did my book for he did

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Speaker 3: the graphic novel edition of Clinton Cash. So we fit

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Speaker 3: very very well together.

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Speaker 2: I love it.

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Speaker 1: We're going to take a quick break and be right

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Speaker 1: back on the Carol Marco wid Show.

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Speaker 2: What are you most proud of in your life?

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Speaker 3: Oh?

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Speaker 4: Geez, I think probably starting that weight loss journey, even

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Speaker 4: though it did lead to lots of other bigger, better things,

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Speaker 4: because I had been overweight most of my life. The

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Speaker 4: last time I was at a normal weight was probably

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Speaker 4: when I was born, and that was because I was

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Speaker 4: a preemi. So I mean, I think, you know, I

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Speaker 4: don't want to pat myself on the back too much,

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Speaker 4: but I think it takes a lot of courage to

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Speaker 4: it in when I've failed a million times and just.

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Speaker 3: Still r right.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I fail at losing ten pounds very often all

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Speaker 1: the time. Actually, I fail at least once or twice

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Speaker 1: a year, if not more.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, it's funny because it never gets easier because I

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Speaker 4: would like to lose about ten more and I have

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Speaker 4: the same amount of anxiety as like when I yeah,

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Speaker 4: one hundred.

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Speaker 2: So what was the total? How much did you lose?

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Speaker 2: In total?

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Speaker 3: I've lost one hundred and seventy pounds.

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Speaker 2: Wow, Wow, it's amazing.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, So that's the thing is, it's it's such a

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Speaker 4: weird number. I mean I remember having different goals like, oh,

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Speaker 4: I would just like to be in the two hundreds,

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Speaker 4: or would be cool if I could, you know, say

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Speaker 4: I've lost a hundred pounds.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you know you do you feel like a different person?

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Speaker 1: Like do you feel like a different human?

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Speaker 3: I mean?

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Speaker 2: Or or are you the same just in a different body?

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Speaker 3: Yeah?

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Speaker 4: I mean I definitely have been able to do things

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Speaker 4: I did and think I could do. But I also

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Speaker 4: find myself not thinking I can do certain things, Like

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Speaker 4: I have a personal trainer.

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Speaker 3: And there'll be times when she'll.

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Speaker 4: Have me do something and you know, I'll like a

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Speaker 4: something as simple as a burpie.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and I feel.

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Speaker 4: Myself hesitating because I don't think I can I can

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Speaker 4: do it, right.

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Speaker 1: I only know what a burpie is because my twelve

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Speaker 1: year old son has gotten into working out, so.

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Speaker 2: He does burpy's.

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Speaker 3: I don't like them.

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Speaker 2: I just I don't think anybody likes them.

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Speaker 3: I get tripped up on my feet.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, give us a five year out prediction, and it

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Speaker 1: could be about anything, the world, the country, you know,

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Speaker 1: or anything.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: So I was listening to your last podcast and as

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Speaker 4: it turned out, I have the same one but the

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Speaker 4: opposite prediction.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't know.

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Speaker 2: This is airing in a few weeks. So who was

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Speaker 2: the last podcast?

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Speaker 4: I'm blanking on the name, but the gender biologists scientists

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Speaker 4: Colin Wright, huh is the AI bubble? I think it

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Speaker 4: won't make as much a difference, picularly when it comes

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Speaker 4: to art and culture. I think it's very easy to

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Speaker 4: tell the difference. I think the sourcing is smarter. I mean,

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Speaker 4: there's an ad that just came out from Coca Cola

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Speaker 4: where they kind of boasted that they fired people and

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Speaker 4: they did it all AI within five minutes. You know,

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Speaker 4: the internet is pointing out that the truck is a

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Speaker 4: different truck in every single right. I think without that

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Speaker 4: soul there, people will crave, you know, writing in art

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Speaker 4: and movies more.

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Speaker 3: I mean, Essin Bateman's been really good about that.

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Speaker 4: I think it might still be good for you know,

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Speaker 4: healthcare and data sourcing and all of that, But when

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Speaker 4: it comes to art, it's a giant bubble, and it's

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Speaker 4: just a parlor trick. Like look at this silly dancing

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Speaker 4: dog I made.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's funny.

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Speaker 1: AI has become the answer, like for this question and

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Speaker 1: just you know, for other for advice questions that I ask.

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Speaker 1: People are very focused on AI for positive and negative.

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Speaker 1: Some people just like it's going to ruin society. We're

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Speaker 1: all going to lose our jobs.

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Speaker 2: You know.

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Speaker 1: My fifteen year old daughter was like, I don't know,

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Speaker 1: I could see the future being communism where the government

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Speaker 1: just pays us not to work because AI does everything.

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Speaker 2: And it's like that is.

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Speaker 1: Terrifying actually, But then I love to hear that people

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Speaker 1: think it might be a bubble because we've been through bubbles.

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Speaker 2: I know how to handle a bubble. I don't know

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Speaker 2: how to handle.

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Speaker 1: Nobody working and nobody uh having to work because AI

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Speaker 1: does everything.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, I.

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Speaker 4: Don't know if it'll be you know as I think

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Speaker 4: it'll have like some some usage. I mean, I think

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Speaker 4: healthcare is probably the biggest place where.

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Speaker 3: I mean I love.

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Speaker 1: Running my stats through AI to get the healthcare Like

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Speaker 1: what do you think this is?

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Speaker 2: And it's like nothing, You're fine.

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Speaker 3: Well, also just uploading like.

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Speaker 4: You know, X rays and things like that, you know,

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Speaker 4: faster and across not just what a particular say oncologist

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Speaker 4: really or radiology it's the scene, but with like every

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Speaker 4: radiologist I.

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Speaker 2: Don't know economically how that works.

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Speaker 1: Are we going to just have fewer doctors or you know,

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Speaker 1: fewer people reading charts?

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Speaker 2: I don't know.

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Speaker 1: But if it leads to healthier people and people, you know,

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Speaker 1: having things found that wouldn't be found.

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Speaker 2: Otherwise, it's hard to complain about.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean hopefully lead.

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Speaker 4: To less of that you know, computer or burnout work

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Speaker 4: that doctors complain about. You adding back the human connection,

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Speaker 4: I mean, similar to why I think it will fail

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Speaker 4: with art.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. People want the humanity, they want the soul.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean generally, like when you hear physicians talking

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Speaker 4: about burnout.

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Speaker 3: I mean they're not saying, you know, I.

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Speaker 4: Have to talk to people so much time and the

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Speaker 4: patient you're talking about, you know, inputting.

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Speaker 1: Stuff right right, Yeah, you're you're absolutely right.

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Speaker 3: Well.

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Speaker 2: I have loved this conversation.

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Speaker 1: I can't wait to read your gen X handbook because

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Speaker 1: I feel it's it's written specifically for me. Leave us

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Speaker 1: here with your best tip for my listeners on how

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Speaker 1: they can improve their lives.

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Speaker 4: I think it's to do uncomfortable things. I mean for me,

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Speaker 4: it was kind of everything weight loss. For you, maybe

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Speaker 4: leaving your home state, you know, it might be having

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Speaker 4: kids before you're you're ready or financially ready.

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Speaker 3: I think generally we need.

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Speaker 4: To be more tuned to doing uncomfortable things because that

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Speaker 4: can you know, lead to you know, a better life.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, all right, finally, so I'll do the burpees okay.

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Speaker 2: She is the author of gen X Handbook for Middle Age.

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Speaker 1: Check out her substack at get bright dot substack dot com.

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Speaker 1: Lisa Dipasqually, thank you so much for coming on.

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Speaker 3: Thanks Carol,