Speaker 1: Hey, everybody, welcome to Creature Features Season two. Last time
Speaker 1: I left you on a cliffhanger. So today we'll be
Speaker 1: finishing up The Seven Deadly Sins Part two Electric Boogaloo. Sorry,
Speaker 1: I mean the Seven Deadly Sins Part two Erotic Bonabo. Anyways,
Speaker 1: we'll be diving head first into some of the most
Speaker 1: sinful animals and people. Let's explore some salacious song births,
Speaker 1: covetous canines, gluttonous goals, and much much more on today's
Speaker 1: episode of Creature Feature. With me today is Jack O'Brien.
Speaker 1: He's the host of The Daily Zychuys. Ye did get
Speaker 1: that one right? Huh? Despite your high pitched voice, you
Speaker 1: were correct. You could say the Daily z the days
Speaker 1: and on a declarative low note. Yeah, yeah, Hey, thanks
Speaker 1: for having me, big fan. Ye first time, long time. Today,
Speaker 1: let's first dive right into lust. I know, all right,
Speaker 1: it's pretty disgusting. I find it gross. It is gross.
Speaker 1: I mean, you know, I think if people just would
Speaker 1: stop feeling emotions, everything would be less disgusting totally. So
Speaker 1: the Bible blames the sin of lust for our human infidelities,
Speaker 1: But are there other driving factors behind the psychology of cheating.
Speaker 1: There's a study that looks at cheating not on your
Speaker 1: wife or husband, but on your trusting, loving bagel man.
Speaker 1: There was an economist who quit his job to sell bagels.
Speaker 1: He used the honor system. You would deliver bagels to
Speaker 1: businesses and leave a money collection box for taking a bagel.
Speaker 1: Most people would pay, but their word cheaters and cheating
Speaker 1: tended to increase at bigger more in personal offices during
Speaker 1: bad weather and during Christmas and Valentine's Day. According to surveys,
Speaker 1: people are more likely to cheat when they have the
Speaker 1: opportunity to and when they feel they're good Samaritans, like
Speaker 1: somehow deserved to cheat. So that explains why they feel
Speaker 1: like during Christmas and Valentine's Day you can cheat because
Speaker 1: you know you're buying people gifts, and maybe during bad
Speaker 1: weather you feel like, well, life is crappy, it's raining,
Speaker 1: so I'm just going to steal a bagel, right, Yeah,
Speaker 1: you're treating yourself right, right, Like like God decided to
Speaker 1: rain on me, I'm gonna take a bagel? Well, right,
Speaker 1: And during Christmas, we also, you know, drink and eat
Speaker 1: bad foods. Food doesn't have calories on Christmas or the
Speaker 1: Christmas season. Uh so, I'm sure it's that same sort
Speaker 1: of overall system of just not feeling like we need
Speaker 1: to be responsible for anything that is allowing us to
Speaker 1: steal the proverbial bagel. If you know what I'm saying,
Speaker 1: that's gross. But even if these excuses work for bagel pilfering,
Speaker 1: there's some thing about romantic cheating that is considered to
Speaker 1: be especially wicked, one of the ultimate breaches and trust.
Speaker 1: For humans, it's the emotional blow of having someone we
Speaker 1: love betray us. For animals, the costs of cheating are cold,
Speaker 1: cruel biological calculation. Most animals aren't monogamous, and for many
Speaker 1: species this is the best strategy. You're diversifying your genetic
Speaker 1: risk by mating with lots of partners. But birds are
Speaker 1: an exception. Almost nine of bird species are monogamous, meaning
Speaker 1: they will form a pair bond either for life or,
Speaker 1: as is often the case, just a single breeding season.
Speaker 1: And in a way this makes sense. Nests require work
Speaker 1: to build eggs, and chicks are vulnerable the predators and
Speaker 1: chicks are loud, insatiable little horrors, so having to parents
Speaker 1: around is often critical for their survival. But even though
Speaker 1: birds form adorable little nuclear families. Their infidelity is so
Speaker 1: dramatic it make Jerry Springer's head spin. That's a timely yeah,
Speaker 1: king of sin, Jerry Springer. Hey, my dude, millennials remember
Speaker 1: Jerry Springer. Um, that's interesting that birds are the sort
Speaker 1: of monogamous among us. Yeah, I mean, it's an interesting
Speaker 1: thing because I think it does have to do with
Speaker 1: how their babies are very helpless. So, like you know,
Speaker 1: you look at a lot of ungulates, like hooved animals,
Speaker 1: they just pop right out and they're ready to go.
Speaker 1: H They can walk within just about thirty minutes. But
Speaker 1: like a baby bird, they're just a little squishy balls
Speaker 1: of flesh. Sit there and open their mouth. Yeah, they
Speaker 1: are very similar to human Actually, human babies are, aren't
Speaker 1: They like known to be the most helpless of all
Speaker 1: the babies. They take the longest to develop, and they
Speaker 1: don't really make that much sense as an animal because
Speaker 1: their heads are huge. They can't even lift their own
Speaker 1: heads like when they're first born, and they have no
Speaker 1: motor skills that they absolutely can't do anything for themselves.
Speaker 1: And then it also takes them years to actually be
Speaker 1: able to survive on their own. I know, I have
Speaker 1: a two and a half year old and he's just
Speaker 1: now learning how to kill his own dinner. But yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean, and I think I've heard that the theory
Speaker 1: is that, uh, you know, they basically for that time
Speaker 1: that they're out and completely helpless, they could just be
Speaker 1: in the mother's body still justes stating, But they aren't
Speaker 1: because their head would be too wide to pass through. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: too wide and too solid, Like their head has to
Speaker 1: be squishy. Um, there's that where those plates connect on
Speaker 1: the head where it's like the fontanelle where it's like
Speaker 1: still squishy. Yeah, babies come out. This is a This
Speaker 1: was a big surprise to me and some of my
Speaker 1: friends who just had babies that babies come out looking
Speaker 1: like cone heads, and it's terrifying. You're like, oh no,
Speaker 1: what did we just do. You should never like rest
Speaker 1: your drink on a baby's head because it'll just like
Speaker 1: create like sort of an impression of your beer, you know,
Speaker 1: although it does make it easier for it to you
Speaker 1: know kind of a little. I mean, there there are
Speaker 1: you know, risk reward, right, right, You do want to
Speaker 1: have a place to rest your beer when when you
Speaker 1: have a new child around, you're going to need a beer, right,
Speaker 1: you need to stay pretty drunk. Guys, these are all
Speaker 1: good parenting. Yes, thank you, I'm good at parenting. Yes.
Speaker 1: So you want to go on an imagination I was
Speaker 1: waiting for you. Yeah, yeah, this is a fun one. Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm closing my eyes. Yes. Now, imagine if your wife
Speaker 1: started acting strangely. Hey, I don't need to imagine. That's
Speaker 1: my new catchphrase on That's right, fell is alright, that's
Speaker 1: You're just gonna be like, no, no no, no, I didn't
Speaker 1: mean it was. My wife does listen to the Daily Ziegeist,
Speaker 1: and I get in trouble basically every time her name
Speaker 1: comes up. I was like, I mean about that. It
Speaker 1: made me sounds mean. Uh So she makes grocery trips
Speaker 1: at odd hours and your energy bill skyrockets. Um. So
Speaker 1: there's a closet you're not supposed to go in because
Speaker 1: it has quote unquote Christmas presents in there. Um but
Speaker 1: you're you start to just get this this sinking feeling
Speaker 1: that something's weird. So you just it's uh you know,
Speaker 1: uh July. Yeah, I'm starting to get very suspicious. Uh
Speaker 1: So you decided to peek inside and you find that
Speaker 1: there's a large industrial refrigerator in there, so you open
Speaker 1: the door and there's, you know, a woosh of cold air,
Speaker 1: and inside are dozens of vials of a white substance,
Speaker 1: each labeled with a specimen number. And next to the
Speaker 1: fridge you find stacks of files containing information on quote
Speaker 1: unquote donors with the profile of their health and genetic
Speaker 1: compatibility with your wife. Oh that does not sound very
Speaker 1: good for me. Well, bad news if you're a bird.
Speaker 1: Oh that also doesn't sound very good. Katie knows this
Speaker 1: because she's sitting across from me, but most of the
Speaker 1: listeners might not know. I am a giant bird. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's it's like really disgusting in the office too, just everywhere. God,
Speaker 1: I hate bird poop. I mean, like I've heard people
Speaker 1: say that, oh, bird poop is one of the least
Speaker 1: obnoxious forms of animal poop. It's not smelling, but it's
Speaker 1: just it's white, and that's weird to me. It is weird.
Speaker 1: It is good that it's not smelly, though they PopEd
Speaker 1: like dogs. That would be a real problem for us
Speaker 1: as people. Just dogs falling from the sky, just some
Speaker 1: kind of like dog bird hybrid. And there's just like
Speaker 1: mounds of poop all over chairs. No, I don't want
Speaker 1: to I don't want to think about that. So let's
Speaker 1: go back to birds, any species of birds. As I
Speaker 1: mentioned earlier, they're monogamous, but they will still cheat from
Speaker 1: time to time, and only at the grocery store. If
Speaker 1: if I'm getting your imagination journey correct, and then they
Speaker 1: tell their partners that it's so you know, I'm shopping
Speaker 1: for Christmas presents because it's bird Christmas? Do they put
Speaker 1: humans in a pear tree? Christmas? Bird Christmas? This isn't
Speaker 1: probably not going to come out around Christmas, so this
Speaker 1: is gonna Really these jokes are gonna land. Christmas jokes
Speaker 1: are only funny around Christmas. Uh. Researchers found that Goldian
Speaker 1: finch females will not cheat too often, but even if
Speaker 1: they cheat once, they can store the sperm from the
Speaker 1: tryst and use it to fertilize the majority of their offspring.
Speaker 1: So I don't know if you guessed on our little
Speaker 1: imagination journey, but you know that was a refrigerator fall
Speaker 1: of sperm? Is that? Oh? Yeah, you didn't specifically say that.
Speaker 1: I never I assume all white substances are sperm. That
Speaker 1: same mixed mayonnaise sandwich is very difficult for me. Yeah,
Speaker 1: mannais really I don't like it right now. Yeah, that's
Speaker 1: my thing. That's my trademark, not liking mayonnaise and thinking
Speaker 1: everything that is white and goody's probably sperm. Yeah, they're
Speaker 1: great trademarks. Katie, I've always said that, Hey it's Katie,
Speaker 1: it looks like sperm. Yeah, it's logical. So google and
Speaker 1: finches come into fla verse. There's the redheaded and the
Speaker 1: black headed. So redheaded finches are more genetically compatible with
Speaker 1: other redheaded finches, which sounds like if there was like
Speaker 1: a weird kind of like if Nazis were all redheads
Speaker 1: that just like you know, all frankly and redheads, they
Speaker 1: just all you're describing my night, they all. I mean,
Speaker 1: that'd be easy though, because instead of being killed by
Speaker 1: the Russian winter, they just anytime the sun comes out,
Speaker 1: they'd be like new, right, we must go inside. We
Speaker 1: cannot take over Europe. Your German accent, it's very good.
Speaker 1: I'm good at accent, I know. Right. Anyways, So if
Speaker 1: a redheaded finch mates with another redheaded finch, their offspring
Speaker 1: is much more likely to survive because it's a genetic masterpiece. Okay,
Speaker 1: that sounds very I'm Jewish, I get to say things. Okay,
Speaker 1: genetic masterpiece, red red genet. Sorry, I'm taking notes. Um.
Speaker 1: So this is also the same thing for like black
Speaker 1: headed finches, when they're paired up, their genetic compatibility is better.
Speaker 1: And isn't that the opposite of humans? Aren't humans supposed
Speaker 1: to mate with people who are genetically dissimilar. Yes, but
Speaker 1: it's sort of complicated, so like it is a good
Speaker 1: kind of herostic that someone who looks more different from
Speaker 1: you is probably gonna be more diverse from you. Um,
Speaker 1: but there are certain things that like in human there
Speaker 1: are certain markers that can fit together better and it
Speaker 1: doesn't seem to have any connection to physical appearance, so um,
Speaker 1: but in these finches, it's it's just a different kind
Speaker 1: of story. But yeah, in general, even with with animals,
Speaker 1: genetic diversity is better. Um, but there can be Yeah,
Speaker 1: And well, I mean it's not that diversity isn't better,
Speaker 1: It's just that there are certain compatible gene markers that
Speaker 1: occur in redheaded versus the Yeah it um, and if
Speaker 1: you mate with your twin, you will give birth to
Speaker 1: an evil king. Yeah, with six fingers right. Um. So
Speaker 1: the study paired up female finches with male finches and
Speaker 1: allowed them to mate, and they formed a social pair,
Speaker 1: and then the researchers allowed the female to have a
Speaker 1: short affair with another bird. Weird, I know, these research
Speaker 1: are just like, yeah, you're go have checks with that
Speaker 1: other bird. Um. Now that was a very convincing impression, yes,
Speaker 1: horny scientists, much better than your German impression. Ye kiss
Speaker 1: each other pairing alright. So, so they found that given
Speaker 1: the opportunity, the females were just as likely to cheat,
Speaker 1: no matter the head color of the male they were
Speaker 1: cheating with or the head color of their own partners.
Speaker 1: So they're just horny horny gals gals um. And female
Speaker 1: finches whose social bond was with different headed finches so
Speaker 1: less genetically compatible, and who had the chance to have
Speaker 1: a tryst with the same headed finch managed to store
Speaker 1: the sperm from the affair with the more genetically compatible finch,
Speaker 1: and they used it in up to of their fertilized eggs.
Speaker 1: So now, okay, so you're talking about storing sperm. I'm
Speaker 1: assuming these birds do not have industrial refrigerators in their
Speaker 1: in there or in their nest um. So is this
Speaker 1: a decision that they're making, like is it something that's
Speaker 1: happening in there? But I guess I was going to
Speaker 1: ask consciously they can they think about I want to
Speaker 1: hold onto this sperm. Probably not, it's just happening inside
Speaker 1: their body. Yeah, and they're not really No, I wouldn't
Speaker 1: say I don't think that they're because like you know,
Speaker 1: they're not thinking through like hey, al right, this sperm
Speaker 1: is more They're not like little robots who can analyze
Speaker 1: like the sperm and be like this sperm is not compatible.
Speaker 1: But things that can happen is like you look down
Speaker 1: to sort of the cellular level, there could be some
Speaker 1: ability for that sperm to be stored longer because it's
Speaker 1: like genetically more compatible. The just responding right, but positively.
Speaker 1: But to be honest, researchers aren't really sure. So researchers,
Speaker 1: Sarah Prike says, they don't totally know how the finches
Speaker 1: managed this. It's quote a little bit of a black box.
Speaker 1: What's actually happening inside the female Yeah, so the female
Speaker 1: finches vagina is a black box. They don't know. So
Speaker 1: when the birds crashed a boom roast did but yeah.
Speaker 1: I mean, like it's like if a bird crashes. I
Speaker 1: like this idea of like saying like, well, we gotta
Speaker 1: look at the bird vagina, right, So that's that's interesting. Yeah,
Speaker 1: did the study mentioned if they show, like when they're
Speaker 1: mating with somebody for the season, do they show a
Speaker 1: preference for a genetically similar versus genetically different or I
Speaker 1: guess you wouldn't really need to show that preference because
Speaker 1: your body is just doing some behind the scenes sperm juggling. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it seems to be more just that biologically there's a
Speaker 1: preference maybe not like intellectually, a preference for the genetically
Speaker 1: more compatible. And it's crazy because like they can keep
Speaker 1: that sperm stored in their reproductive track for up to
Speaker 1: thirteen days, which is kind of gross, right yeah, but
Speaker 1: but that means that they can be mating with their
Speaker 1: actual partner and use that sperm to continue to fertilize
Speaker 1: their eggs. What is the length that that happens with
Speaker 1: human to keep things in a disgusting area, but like,
Speaker 1: isn't there a long window that I think it's like,
Speaker 1: I think it remains viable for around a week, which
Speaker 1: is longer than I would have expected is longer than
Speaker 1: it should be. God made a horrible mistake. I think
Speaker 1: maybe it depends though, if like, if you're keeping yourself
Speaker 1: at room temperature or like, like I wonder if it's
Speaker 1: spoiled faster. It's like, now, don't go out in the sun.
Speaker 1: Red gross. It is all sexes gross, It's all disgusting.
Speaker 1: This podcast is about discouraging people from expression expressing physical
Speaker 1: forms of love. It's disgusting. You should be a I
Speaker 1: so disagreed with that sentiment. My mouth would even let
Speaker 1: me say it. It's like, no, you fool, that's mean.
Speaker 1: Stop it. Then our spec would die up. So only
Speaker 1: about four percent of all mammals are monogamous. Even our
Speaker 1: closest relatives, the apes, aren't always monogamous. Gibbons are faithful,
Speaker 1: but chimpanzees and gorillas are promiscuous. So why are some
Speaker 1: apes monogamous and others living a banana fueled or gy lifestyle.
Speaker 1: One theory is that infanticide has driven some species of
Speaker 1: apes to become monogamous, So that's killing of babies. So
Speaker 1: in species where there's a great threat of rival males
Speaker 1: killing the babies of their own species, monogamy ensures the
Speaker 1: males will work with the females to protect their offspring.
Speaker 1: This doesn't actually explain why humans are monogamous. This theory
Speaker 1: only works for a primate species who aren't in close
Speaker 1: knit troops or societies, in which the case the whole
Speaker 1: group will protect the babies. Human monogamy is on a
Speaker 1: different evolutionary path than that of gibbons, given that our
Speaker 1: closest ape relatives, chimps and bonobos are horning little tramps.
Speaker 1: They love humping each other. They'll hump anyone. It's just
Speaker 1: it's madness. It's evangelicals worst nightmare. Also, humans aren't always monogamous.
Speaker 1: Only sevent of human cultures exclusively allow for monogamy. But
Speaker 1: even in these more permissive cultures, people are still more
Speaker 1: likely to form monogamous relationships. So there's actually a book
Speaker 1: called Sex at Dawn that talks about how people had
Speaker 1: sex and formed family units in very early human societies
Speaker 1: and also looked at some tribal communities now like hunter gatherer.
Speaker 1: I think is the delineation he makes between like hunter
Speaker 1: gather pre government societies, and he was basically suggesting that
Speaker 1: tribal and like non monogamous is the natural state of humans,
Speaker 1: and basically he's suggesting that humans in the early tribal
Speaker 1: state would all have sex with each other and the
Speaker 1: men wouldn't know whose kid was who's so they would
Speaker 1: all just look out for all the children in their
Speaker 1: tribe and it would be this big. You know, if
Speaker 1: you ask me, the idea sounds kind of communist, down
Speaker 1: right communists, but sex communism. Sex communism, which communes are
Speaker 1: I mean, yeah, I've I've heard this theory before, and
Speaker 1: I think one of the difficulties with determining whether it's
Speaker 1: that we we are promiscuous by nature and therefore we
Speaker 1: created social groups is the causality. So it could be
Speaker 1: that once we form social groups, it's easier to be
Speaker 1: promiscuous because having that group looking out for you means
Speaker 1: that you won't be punished for sleeping around. Your children
Speaker 1: will be raised by the group and protected by the
Speaker 1: group no matter what it versus if you were isolated,
Speaker 1: where you have much more of a motivation to make
Speaker 1: sure your monogamous, make sure your partner's monogamous, so that
Speaker 1: you're investing everything in the correct genetic um organism, which
Speaker 1: sounds really cold, but that that is sort of the
Speaker 1: calculation that animals make um so, but then the other
Speaker 1: way could be that, oh, because we were promiscuous, then
Speaker 1: we formed these social groups because you know, if you
Speaker 1: don't know who you're your offspring is, then it's more
Speaker 1: beneficial to form these big groups where you're just all
Speaker 1: looking out for each other. So it's hard, it's hard
Speaker 1: to say which way that, like, did we did we
Speaker 1: start out sleeping around and form society around our desire
Speaker 1: to make promiscuous or did we start forming social groups?
Speaker 1: Because there is some evolutionary evidence that once our brain
Speaker 1: started to change and we became less aggressive and we
Speaker 1: have less testosterone, we became more pro social because we
Speaker 1: him more gentle, less prone to this sort of impulsive violence,
Speaker 1: and that enabled us to form social groups. Um just
Speaker 1: changing the way we think about right right, wanting to
Speaker 1: kill everything in front of us, right. It is kind
Speaker 1: of interesting because like, uh, you know, you you may
Speaker 1: have like some interaction that our ability to form social
Speaker 1: groups because we're a lot and even though chimps form
Speaker 1: social groups, they are a lot more violent, so they
Speaker 1: have trouble, like say, forming bigger social groups. They have
Speaker 1: these individual troops and they don't get along with other
Speaker 1: troops very well, but humans, being a little less aggro
Speaker 1: could potentially start to communicate with other other social groups
Speaker 1: and like, hey, you know, we're not so different. Let's
Speaker 1: trade shells and um, you know, and so it's it
Speaker 1: makes it. And then that nature, that kind of pro
Speaker 1: social nature may make people either It's hard to say
Speaker 1: whether that would make them more monogamous or more promiscuous,
Speaker 1: because I could see arguments both way, Like if you're
Speaker 1: more monogamous, you may form a stronger emotional connection because
Speaker 1: you're less aggressive, but you could also be you know,
Speaker 1: just like if everyone's socializing, there's more chance for promiscuity. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And I guess another way to look at it would
Speaker 1: be that the natural state is tribal where everybody has
Speaker 1: sex with everybody else, and that's like the best for
Speaker 1: the like overall utilitarian, like that's the highest level of happiness.
Speaker 1: But then like a handful of like jealous weak men
Speaker 1: were like, I'm going to build society so that I
Speaker 1: can control women so that they only have sex with me. Um.
Speaker 1: But I think that's basically the thesis of Dan Brown's
Speaker 1: Da Vinci code. Yeah, I mean, if you look at tender,
Speaker 1: that does seem to like, like if you're like, hey,
Speaker 1: have checked you with me and you're like no, like
Speaker 1: you dirty, she doesn't actually make sense. Yeah. And by
Speaker 1: the way, you heard the theory that I just suggested
Speaker 1: from a guy trying to get you to join his commune,
Speaker 1: right to make that clear to everybody his sex commune.
Speaker 1: One of the most common questions about monogamy and humans
Speaker 1: is whether it's a natural which is a tricky question
Speaker 1: given that even our early ancestors formed social groups which
Speaker 1: influence their behavior. But I think what this question is
Speaker 1: trying to get at is whether it's a biological imperative
Speaker 1: or culturally learned one. There are some biological markers that
Speaker 1: seem to indicate we should be monogamous. Primates with higher
Speaker 1: second to fourth finger length ratios tend to be less promiscuous,
Speaker 1: as it's a marker of lower tiestosterone exposure, and that's
Speaker 1: the case for humans like if you look at your hand.
Speaker 1: But monogamous primates like gibbons often have smaller tests due
Speaker 1: to the lack of need for sperm competition with rivals,
Speaker 1: and in polygamus species like chimpanzees, the tests are large.
Speaker 1: Ready to quote play ball with rival males um, but
Speaker 1: in humans, the testies ratio is kind of somewhere in
Speaker 1: the middle, not too big, not too small, the goldilocks
Speaker 1: of balls. So this is the issue with looking for
Speaker 1: a single biological marker to answer a complex social practice
Speaker 1: such as monogamy. It's very hard to trace one physiological
Speaker 1: characteristic to faithfulness, and society is such a strong driving
Speaker 1: force it's an extremely difficult challenge to parse whether this
Speaker 1: complex human behavior has evolved culturally or biologically. So I
Speaker 1: guess what I'm trying to say is, if you cheat
Speaker 1: and you try to blame it on your huge chimpanzee balls,
Speaker 1: sorry dude, but science does not have your back on
Speaker 1: this point. Hold onto your balls. We'll be right back
Speaker 1: after these nets into their Greed seems like one of
Speaker 1: the most natural elements on Earth. After all, evolution seems
Speaker 1: to be based on creed. Animals that gain the most
Speaker 1: resources and greeding opportunities succeed, But the added component of
Speaker 1: social networks among animals creates a competing force. Social groups
Speaker 1: may offer more benefits than temporary greed provides. Perhaps in
Speaker 1: this way, complex emotions can take form in more intelligent
Speaker 1: social animals, such as envy. Humans are the ultimate social animal,
Speaker 1: and we have a complex emotional landscape that includes being
Speaker 1: angry at those who we deem to be too greedy,
Speaker 1: and also to be envious of those who we think
Speaker 1: have gotten an unfair share. But are we the only
Speaker 1: ones who shall covet our neighbor's os or, as we'll
Speaker 1: see in some cases, our neighbors grapes. That's usually what
Speaker 1: I'm most covetous of the number of grapes that my
Speaker 1: neighbors have. Grapes are so good. It's like now that
Speaker 1: I'm an adult and I can't just eat canned you
Speaker 1: whenever I want. It's I feel like sometimes when I
Speaker 1: eat grapes or or little those little clementines, Oh, this
Speaker 1: is like candy, And then I feel sad because, like
Speaker 1: my seven year old in time, he was like, you fool.
Speaker 1: I found that it helps to just keep it in candy,
Speaker 1: like you're a child until your teeth fall out. That's true. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but it's always between whether I'm more jealous of my
Speaker 1: neighbor's grapes or their oxen. Yeah. I mean like it's
Speaker 1: like your neighbor gets an ox and then you get
Speaker 1: a knox and then they get like the Ox arms
Speaker 1: racing Jetta, which I don't know. I think I'd rather
Speaker 1: have an OX for sure. So it's time for imagination station. Yeah, alright,
Speaker 1: eyes closed, and I everybody should know that my eyes
Speaker 1: are actually closed during this and I find that it
Speaker 1: helps and that you should also close your eyes, close
Speaker 1: your eyes unless even if you're driving, even if you're driving, right,
Speaker 1: I will go on record and say that, yeah, I'm
Speaker 1: not I'm not gonna keep your eyes open. I'd say
Speaker 1: buckle up safety first, turn it off. So, uh, say
Speaker 1: you and a friend find someone's wallet, what would make
Speaker 1: you angrier getting no reward for turning in the wallet,
Speaker 1: Or say your friend hands it over to the owner
Speaker 1: and the owner is just like, oh, thank you, you know,
Speaker 1: you're so great and completely ignores you and then like
Speaker 1: gives them two hundred dollars and says, don't you dare
Speaker 1: share a cent of this two hundred dollars. So they
Speaker 1: get all of the credit, all of the reward, and
Speaker 1: not you. Sorry, what was the first scenario again, you
Speaker 1: just don't get a reward at all. You return it
Speaker 1: and don't get a reward, or my friend gets the
Speaker 1: reward right exactly and my friend is not willing to
Speaker 1: share it with No, because that friend is me and
Speaker 1: I'm not sharing it at all. I think I would
Speaker 1: have to think about who my friends are and whether
Speaker 1: they're really my friend. Kat eyes are still closed? Should
Speaker 1: I open them? Sure? Okay? Cool, it was dark in there?
Speaker 1: What next? What? What would mad at you? You're mad
Speaker 1: at me? Would you feel worse if like you hand
Speaker 1: it in the wallet and the person is like, oh,
Speaker 1: great things and they didn't give you any reward, or
Speaker 1: if just me, just me Katie got all of the
Speaker 1: reward huh. I feel like, see, I'm extremely passive and
Speaker 1: conflict of verse. So I would probably just be happy
Speaker 1: that you got money and then probably like months down
Speaker 1: the road, be like wait, asshole, uh no, yeah, I
Speaker 1: would probably be happier that you got some money. Really yeah,
Speaker 1: but I'm better than most people. Yeah, because I wouldn't
Speaker 1: feel that way. Like I feel like if we both
Speaker 1: found the wallet together, like if it was sort of
Speaker 1: a team effort of lifting this, like each taking a
Speaker 1: corner of the wallet and lifting it off the ground,
Speaker 1: like oh this is a heavy as wallet, or like
Speaker 1: I spotted it and they picked it up and helped
Speaker 1: find the person and then they just got all the reward,
Speaker 1: even though on my surface, what my face would be
Speaker 1: saying would be, oh, I'm so happy for you. Good
Speaker 1: for you, I'm so got two hundred dollars and knowing
Speaker 1: it good. I think a place I'm very spiteful is
Speaker 1: in sports and politics. Like I would much rather neither
Speaker 1: side win than my team lose and the other side win.
Speaker 1: I hate the team that wins. I understand how that
Speaker 1: works with sports, but with politics, what does that mean
Speaker 1: neither side winning? So if the devastation, if it was
Speaker 1: between Trump winning the election in the world being as
Speaker 1: bad off as it is right now, or neither side winning,
Speaker 1: society collapsing and the world being as bad off as
Speaker 1: it is right now, I would probably go with society
Speaker 1: collapsing because I hate that the Republicans right about things
Speaker 1: right now. Yeah, but I feel like that's for a
Speaker 1: different podcast, Okay, Yeah, something like a daily maybe you know,
Speaker 1: maybe have me on the record. I know you don't
Speaker 1: need to say it through clenched teeth. It was just like, hey,
Speaker 1: maybe mightly clenched teeth Jack, I would love to be
Speaker 1: on your show again. I would love to Loah, this
Speaker 1: is just strangely tense. I think it's because we imagined me,
Speaker 1: reimagined me taking all of your money. That's right, that's
Speaker 1: what did it. So I guess I'm not as nice
Speaker 1: as I thought, right, And neither are chimps good. Okay,
Speaker 1: I didn't think chimps were nice though. Yeah, I know
Speaker 1: they did rip that one lady's face. I know that's
Speaker 1: what That's what did it for me. I was like,
Speaker 1: maybe chimps are nice. And then I listened to that
Speaker 1: nine one one calling. Yeah, it's pretty rough because it's
Speaker 1: just I mean, that woman survived, but her friend calls
Speaker 1: in is just like, yeah, it's pretty creepy. So researchers,
Speaker 1: they are always dicks, and they like to make dicky
Speaker 1: experiments where they dick around with chimpanzees. So too, chimpanzees
Speaker 1: were given rewards for exchanging tokens with the researcher. So
Speaker 1: like they get like a little like tablet or coin
Speaker 1: or something and they hand it to the researcher and
Speaker 1: they get a reward, and they're trained that this is
Speaker 1: how it works, so they are becoming good, good capitalists.
Speaker 1: In the test condition, that subject chimp was given a
Speaker 1: lesser reward than his partner. Um, So a bland, stupid
Speaker 1: cucumber versus a juicy, amazing grape. Um. The chimps who
Speaker 1: were given the cucumbers responded really negatively. So they're really
Speaker 1: jealous that for the same token that their partner gets
Speaker 1: like a grape, and then they get a shitty cucumber
Speaker 1: and they're really upset. Grape versus a cucumber. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: mean grapes. Grapes are way better. Grapes are way better.
Speaker 1: And for chimps, grapes are like that. They're like, yeah,
Speaker 1: just if you can imagine, like you know, they're like
Speaker 1: crown nuts or something. So, uh, back to cucumbers, Um,
Speaker 1: the chip dicks of vegetables, right, that is true. They
Speaker 1: are the chimp dicks of vegetables. Uh. And so when
Speaker 1: the chimp's just got a stupid cucumber and not a
Speaker 1: great grape, they would respond quote unquote negatively, which includes
Speaker 1: refusing to participate in the study, which is really funny
Speaker 1: to me. The visualizing like a chimp just like folding it.
Speaker 1: Starmon's being like, well, I won't be in your stupid experiment.
Speaker 1: It seems very passive for it. Yeah. Yeah, they'll they'll
Speaker 1: refuse to accept the cucumbers, so they'll like not even
Speaker 1: take it, Like I won't even take your stupid shitty cucumber.
Speaker 1: Um that they can't even throw away the cucumber, so
Speaker 1: like like throw it like you want you cucumber, just
Speaker 1: let it fall to the ground. Yeah. Um. And what's
Speaker 1: really interesting is chimps also differentiate between greed and jealousy.
Speaker 1: So it's not just that they really they're really greedy,
Speaker 1: they want the grape, and so they're angry that they
Speaker 1: don't get the grape. It's that they're specifically angry that
Speaker 1: their partner got the grape but not them. So chimps
Speaker 1: were shown a tasty grape and then prompted to do
Speaker 1: the whole exchanging coins for the grape. But instead uh,
Speaker 1: both the chimp test subject and his partner received gross cucumbers. Uh.
Speaker 1: And in that case, they were less likely to respond negatively,
Speaker 1: Like they weren't thrilled, but they weren't as violently angry.
Speaker 1: So they were just pissed, but in a general sense,
Speaker 1: because cucumber suck. Yeah, cucumber like it. I mean, imagine
Speaker 1: if someone hand you a cucumber, how would you react
Speaker 1: just like the fuck yeah, I guess I don't want
Speaker 1: a cucumber. Were they led to believe a grape was
Speaker 1: the payment for this? Yeah, I got it. Yeah, Like
Speaker 1: they were shown a grape, there was the old grape
Speaker 1: and switch the grape and switch. Yeah. Um. So they
Speaker 1: seem to have a concept of the unfairness of it
Speaker 1: and respond angrily. But it's the other person enjoying the
Speaker 1: grape that really say right right, And I'm sure that
Speaker 1: other chimp is being a real Also, yummy, I love
Speaker 1: this grape so tasty. Chimps aren't known for their subtlety
Speaker 1: unless you give them a cucumber, and they just go
Speaker 1: on strike. I mean not necessarily quietly, like they'll throw it,
Speaker 1: throw a fit, you know, good point, get really angry,
Speaker 1: poop on you say your experiments stop it. Yeah, call
Speaker 1: you a small dick Experimenteragee's signing small and then oblong
Speaker 1: no no, no wait. So Capucheon's and even dogs will
Speaker 1: respond the same way in similar studies, and the dogs
Speaker 1: would sulk and refuse to perform tricks if they saw
Speaker 1: another dograssy rewards when they didn't. And I have a dog,
Speaker 1: he's extremely spiteful. She uh like will loudly sigh if
Speaker 1: she feels like she's been tricks, so like she knows
Speaker 1: the drop it command and she'll get a treat and like,
Speaker 1: but now she's just learned that she takes things and
Speaker 1: steals things, and if she takes something, then she can
Speaker 1: extort treats out of me. But if I like get
Speaker 1: the thing from her without rewarding her, she'll like like
Speaker 1: like really angry at me and in sulks and like
Speaker 1: because she's like, that's not how we play this game. Um.
Speaker 1: So much of this is reminding me of having a
Speaker 1: two year old. Yes, he is very we we also
Speaker 1: have a dog, and if a piece of his food
Speaker 1: falls on the ground, Uh, he doesn't care unless the
Speaker 1: dog gets it, in which case he's like, you mother,
Speaker 1: get dog. Well that's interesting because so chimps will actually
Speaker 1: show a similar level of greed and cooperation as human children.
Speaker 1: So they they're like, you know, these researchers are like,
Speaker 1: m We're gonna test these chimps and compare their scores
Speaker 1: to human children. Uh and so uh, here's a slight
Speaker 1: variation on the study we were talking about before. So
Speaker 1: chimps were offered to tokens. One token meant that both
Speaker 1: the chimp and its partner would receive an equal food reward,
Speaker 1: so that's the like cooperative token. And then there's the
Speaker 1: selfish token, which when they hand that into the researcher,
Speaker 1: they just get all of the rewards, so double the reward. UM.
Speaker 1: So I mean obviously double Uh. These are bad parents
Speaker 1: to these chimps. Uh so Uh. The catch is that
Speaker 1: he can't just hand the token to the experiments or
Speaker 1: so in one condition he can and when it's just
Speaker 1: like you're just sort of it's called like the dictator
Speaker 1: um game where it's like you just get to control
Speaker 1: the tokens. They obviously hand in the one that gives
Speaker 1: them all of the treats um. But then in the
Speaker 1: ultimatum game, they have to hand they don't have a
Speaker 1: direct way to hand it to the uh the researcher,
Speaker 1: so they have to hand it. They hand it to
Speaker 1: a partner, uh, and then that partner can hand it
Speaker 1: in to the researcher. So that means they get to
Speaker 1: select the token, but their partner has to actually be
Speaker 1: the one to turn it in for the reward. And
Speaker 1: that's why it's like an ultimatum that partner gets to
Speaker 1: decide whether or not they're going to actually go through
Speaker 1: with the transaction. UM. So in that case, the chimpanzees
Speaker 1: will actually select the one that is more fair and
Speaker 1: handed into their partner. UM, which seems to make sense.
Speaker 1: Like they're thinking, well, you know, you might think that
Speaker 1: it's because they've learned that when they hand in the
Speaker 1: selfish one, they just get nothing like that it's some
Speaker 1: kind of operat conditioning, But actually it turns out that
Speaker 1: it is completely independent of actual consequence. So like they
Speaker 1: didn't find that the partner chimp would refuse to hand
Speaker 1: in tokens, So the chimp is sort of predicting that
Speaker 1: perhaps this is the more pro social thing to do,
Speaker 1: and will preemptively be more fair rather than responding to
Speaker 1: a consequence. I think I kind of understand that. So yeah,
Speaker 1: so it's like there's no situation in which they don't
Speaker 1: receive a reward. They're never punished for handing in the
Speaker 1: selfish token to their partner. Their partner is just kind
Speaker 1: of like indiscriminately handing in the tokens to the researcher,
Speaker 1: got it. So really it's more they're thinking, oh, you
Speaker 1: know this may either they're kind of thinking, well, maybe
Speaker 1: if I hand this to my partner, it's going to
Speaker 1: piss them off, or they're kind of almost like maybe sheepish,
Speaker 1: like this is gonna seem really rude, because I think
Speaker 1: that's that's actually the case with humans as well, where
Speaker 1: it's like sometimes we do things that there's no consequence,
Speaker 1: Like say you have like a grocery cart and you're
Speaker 1: in a parking lot and like nobody's around to see
Speaker 1: you like leave it, you know, but you still kind
Speaker 1: of feel like I'm just gonna like push it out
Speaker 1: of the way of the cars and like put or
Speaker 1: put it in the carousel. Yeah what Yeah, no way,
Speaker 1: I push it out into traffic. Yeah, that that is
Speaker 1: the right thing to do. That is correct. Um, we're
Speaker 1: just things like privately, like like you're in your own
Speaker 1: home and you're deciding whether or not to recycle something
Speaker 1: like there's no social consequence to you, right, but you're
Speaker 1: you're just kinding, you know, because you love. It's like
Speaker 1: there's maybe just kind of a social instinct. And so
Speaker 1: they actually found that human children did the same thing
Speaker 1: as the chimps. It's interesting because in the Dictator game
Speaker 1: where they get complete control, complete power, they are selfish.
Speaker 1: But when they have to work together with this other child,
Speaker 1: even though there's not really a direct consequence to them
Speaker 1: handing the selfish token to their partner, they will still
Speaker 1: be more generous in that social situation. I think the
Speaker 1: tokens thing is confusing me. Yeah, So, like basically, if
Speaker 1: you don't have to work with some someone like you
Speaker 1: don't you don't have to look them in the eye
Speaker 1: and hand them this token that says I'm about to
Speaker 1: dick you over then, and they can just directly hand
Speaker 1: it into the researcher. Uh, they'll hand in the token
Speaker 1: that's like give me all of the reward, Whereas when
Speaker 1: they have to like be like, hey, would you please
Speaker 1: hand this to the researcher It says I get both bananas.
Speaker 1: It would you be cool with that? They don't do that.
Speaker 1: They avoid that situation where they are more likely to
Speaker 1: be like, Hey, I'm a I'm a cool chimp slash child.
Speaker 1: Here's a token that says we both get bananas, right,
Speaker 1: because they somehow feel bad about the fact that it's
Speaker 1: sucking the other right, Like, I wonder if it's even
Speaker 1: just having to look them in the eye and be like,
Speaker 1: I'm about to fuck you. Yeah right, Well isn't there.
Speaker 1: So you opened this episode talking about the bagel experiment.
Speaker 1: They're a bagel experiment where there's eyes drawn on the
Speaker 1: Do you know this one? I don't put that. I
Speaker 1: mean that sounds interesting. Yeah. So there's this one where
Speaker 1: they had a like donation just leave whatever you want
Speaker 1: jar next to bagels, and they found that people gave
Speaker 1: way more money when they just put photographs of eyes
Speaker 1: on the because it was just like they were somehow
Speaker 1: being reminded that eyes were like of somebody looking at them.
Speaker 1: So it's almost like it's communicating to a very dumb
Speaker 1: and basic part of our brain. I mean, I know
Speaker 1: they do that with an anti shoplifting signs, like they
Speaker 1: put a pair of eyes on those, and I think
Speaker 1: that's supposed to like Tom, they can't see me. Darn it,
Speaker 1: I could have been doing a lot of crime. Um.
Speaker 1: I mean, even so, children were actually a little more
Speaker 1: fair than the chimps, so that there is some hope
Speaker 1: for human children. They're a little um nicer than that
Speaker 1: is that is good for humans in general. My kid
Speaker 1: not so much. That would not be better. So that
Speaker 1: is that makes me fear for his future? Yeah, I
Speaker 1: will think about that after we're done. Uh. So, it's
Speaker 1: tempting to think that humans are just naturally greedy, especially
Speaker 1: when reading the news or wanting to merge on the freeway,
Speaker 1: but a study by Yale psychologist David g Rand calls
Speaker 1: this notion into question, and his study participants engaged in
Speaker 1: various economic games similar to what we described with the chimps.
Speaker 1: He found that when people are given less time to
Speaker 1: think about their decision, they act more cooperatively and altruistically,
Speaker 1: meaning that it's only after careful consideration that we decide
Speaker 1: to be selfish. So we may not be able to
Speaker 1: blame our greedy nature on our impulses, but rather on
Speaker 1: our rationality. So it's like, hmmm, yeah, I'm gonna be
Speaker 1: an asshole. That actually totally makes sense to me, But
Speaker 1: I've never thought about it before that all of my
Speaker 1: most like selfish, shitty decisions are the ones that I
Speaker 1: like reason my way into inherently just immediately knee jerk
Speaker 1: doing the right thing right right. I mean, I wonder
Speaker 1: if that's like when people like literally take a bullet
Speaker 1: for someone. I think that is they aren't they don't
Speaker 1: give themselves time to think about it, right, because it's
Speaker 1: a stupid thing to do. Well on people who are
Speaker 1: survived of taking a bullet for someone, or like there
Speaker 1: was like one guy who like jumped on the train
Speaker 1: tracks to flatten someone. I mean not only was it
Speaker 1: like not only was it altruistic, but it's really smart.
Speaker 1: And he thought about it in like half a second.
Speaker 1: Where it's like there's a guy on unconscious lying across
Speaker 1: the train car, like jumped down got him, you know,
Speaker 1: parallel to the tracks so that he'd be under the
Speaker 1: car and they both survived and he like kept him flat,
Speaker 1: so like the train just passed over him. But I
Speaker 1: wouldn't recommend it, Like that's very risky. They could he
Speaker 1: could have died, um, but you know he didn't. And
Speaker 1: he was saying like afterwards, he's like, you know, people
Speaker 1: are like, oh, you're so brave, and he's like, no,
Speaker 1: I mean I literally wasn't thinking And if I had
Speaker 1: thought about it for longer, I probably wouldn't have done it. Um.
Speaker 1: And that's a really common trend in like these amazing
Speaker 1: acts of altruism where there's like some part of our
Speaker 1: our brain that's just like it is very not that
Speaker 1: we don't always listen to Well, yeah, it's like courage
Speaker 1: equals not thinking, because that's what you know chanting And
Speaker 1: a lot of the army drills are called thoughts stopping exercises,
Speaker 1: And when you're playing a sport and you choke, it's
Speaker 1: usually because you're thinking about it, because they say, like
Speaker 1: a good way to get around choking in sports is
Speaker 1: to just start singing a song because you're focused on
Speaker 1: that and then you're you let like the you know,
Speaker 1: unconscious part of your brain takeover for the actions. So yeah,
Speaker 1: basically our our ability to think. It's almost like the
Speaker 1: Book of Genesis and the Adam and Eve story knew something. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: women just screw everything up. Thank you. I didn't want
Speaker 1: to say it, but I'm glad you did. On that
Speaker 1: lovely note that won't get us angry. D m S.
Speaker 1: We're going to take a quick break, and what do
Speaker 1: I think? It's not hard to find gluttonous sinners in
Speaker 1: the animal kingdom. Often animals will eat more than what's
Speaker 1: good for them. Open up the stomach of seagulls who
Speaker 1: come to buffet at a landfill and you can find tinfoil,
Speaker 1: metal glass, rubber bands, plastic cutlery, and more. Sharks also
Speaker 1: have eaten their fair share of creative cuisine, including boots, raincoats,
Speaker 1: pieces of boats, toys, license plates. Maybe that's where all
Speaker 1: the POGs wound up. But do humans ever eat the inedible?
Speaker 1: Pika is a disorder found in both humans and animals.
Speaker 1: Those with pica will eat inedible or even dangerous items.
Speaker 1: Some of the more common forms of pika are pagophagia
Speaker 1: eating ice, trictophagia eating hair, xylophagia eating paper, lithophasia stones,
Speaker 1: geophagia soil, and even corporophasia feces which I'm sure I
Speaker 1: pronounced all of those perfectly. What's the name for people
Speaker 1: like me who eat taco bell am? I right, fellows. Uh.
Speaker 1: It can be a purely psychological disorder, but it can
Speaker 1: also indicate a mineral deficiency, such as low iron, which
Speaker 1: is associated with eating soil, or anemia, especially among those
Speaker 1: who eat ice, and I mean like water ice, not um. Anyways,
Speaker 1: Pregnant women and children are more likely to have pike
Speaker 1: it and are also more likely to be simultaneously suffering
Speaker 1: from anemia. If you own a dog, you know, they
Speaker 1: might occasionally dabble in coprophagia, the eating of their own feces.
Speaker 1: Coprophagia isn't always pike a. Many animals find feces to
Speaker 1: be nutritional and delicious, such as rabbits, guinea pigs, baby koalas,
Speaker 1: and flies. Dogs who take to eating their poop maybe
Speaker 1: trying to make up for a nutritional deficiency or to
Speaker 1: help nourish their gut biome. But they could also just
Speaker 1: be anxious or simply bored. That's why I do it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I know who among us doesn't like to sit down
Speaker 1: and just eat some ship when you're bored. Yeah, So
Speaker 1: earlier I mentioned tricophagia, which is also called Rapunzel syndrome
Speaker 1: because that means eating your own hair, which, as we
Speaker 1: know in the classic fairy tale, she eats her hair, right,
Speaker 1: the famous story of her Punzel who eats all her
Speaker 1: own hair. Love that scene Entangled where she eats her
Speaker 1: own hair. Um, it's like a bunch of linguini. So
Speaker 1: this can actually be really dangerous. Hair is indigestible and
Speaker 1: conform blockages in the intestines. Right. I remember we did
Speaker 1: a story back in our days at that one website where, yeah,
Speaker 1: like the weirdest things removed. Back when we were like
Speaker 1: highbrow journalists, we did an article about the weirdest things
Speaker 1: removed from people's bodies. Giant hairballs. Yeah, yeah, and they
Speaker 1: have to be surgically removed. One of the records setting
Speaker 1: ones weighed fourteen pounds. And you don't need a Google
Speaker 1: image it. You don't need to. It looks like a
Speaker 1: big chunk of condensed hair. Yeah, I did. I had
Speaker 1: described it for you. Yeah, it's a it's if you've
Speaker 1: ever removed a hairball from like a drain. Just picture
Speaker 1: that that but like like a neutron star of that.
Speaker 1: It's like very compacted. But to put it bluntly, so
Speaker 1: like eating other parts of your body wouldn't really technically
Speaker 1: count as pika because it'd be pretty nutritious. Like if
Speaker 1: you ate a finger, that'd be nutritious. What about fingernails, No,
Speaker 1: that's just that, that's just keraton. It doesn't doesn't add anything,
Speaker 1: and you can't digest it. Sorry, Jack, I know you've
Speaker 1: been doing it wrong. I have to start spitting them out.
Speaker 1: You're supposed to eat the actual fingers. Um, So let's
Speaker 1: go on an imagination journey through the mind to a
Speaker 1: stop imagination station all aboard the brain train. So if
Speaker 1: you were starving, what what body part would you eat first? Like,
Speaker 1: like you're on a raft in the middle of the ocean.
Speaker 1: There's nothing you can eat. There's no fish in this scenario,
Speaker 1: or you're just really bad at fishing. So it's like
Speaker 1: five years in the future, right right, Um, we're all
Speaker 1: we're all flooded, but there's no fish and all the
Speaker 1: bees are dead. And but I've already eating all the
Speaker 1: people that I've been went on the board, You've already
Speaker 1: eaten the cabin boy. Um, So there's no no more
Speaker 1: boys to eat um, no more eat um. So what
Speaker 1: body part would you eat first? My butt? Where are
Speaker 1: you gonna sit though? I'm a face sleeper, okay, so
Speaker 1: just cut on into the butt. I think it's what
Speaker 1: i'd go for, nice and meaty rump rosta Yeah, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: that's that's ends. That sounds disgusting. But yeah, I mean
Speaker 1: I guess that's like a good choice because it's very fatty.
Speaker 1: You so much, I mean, I'm appreciate, I appreciate you
Speaker 1: in that round about way telling me I have a
Speaker 1: fat Yeah. Well, you know, um, and it's like there's
Speaker 1: not there's not like too many blood vessels. There so
Speaker 1: no major arteries in your butt. Uh so you know
Speaker 1: you you Yeah, let's face it, I'm a white male.
Speaker 1: Nobody's gonna miss. But it's it's you might barely there
Speaker 1: to begin. You might like get like the nickname the
Speaker 1: butt survivor. But you know, but survivor. Yeah, you mean
Speaker 1: the superhero name, but survivor, right, But you do actually
Speaker 1: have to I mean, like I feel, I guess if
Speaker 1: you're starving, though, would like a human butt be appetizing.
Speaker 1: I think it's the first thing I would eat even
Speaker 1: if I had food. No, I I don't know. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I guess I was kind of thinking that that has
Speaker 1: the most because don't they say that fat has a
Speaker 1: lot of energy, like a lot of calories. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean, I mean fat is Yeah, it has a
Speaker 1: lot of calories, and it's probably you're probably getting the
Speaker 1: most bang for your buck with the butt because there's
Speaker 1: no there's not like bones in there. There's not a
Speaker 1: lot of tendons, and like it would be among the
Speaker 1: hardest things to turniquet though, that is true, a butt tourniquet.
Speaker 1: I don't know, but you know, maybe like maybe you
Speaker 1: just like slice it real thin, like like a ham,
Speaker 1: like one of those like one of those slicers at
Speaker 1: the grocery store. So it's like it's so thin you
Speaker 1: don't even feel it. Yeah, I don't think that's possible.
Speaker 1: But there's like this thing called like mapping the Human
Speaker 1: Body project or something, and like it's where they take
Speaker 1: dead people's bodies and then like they map the whole
Speaker 1: body by taking pictures of cross sections all throughout the body.
Speaker 1: And to do that you have to freeze. Yes, they
Speaker 1: freeze the body and actually watch this and it's a
Speaker 1: you know, when you get past the fact this was
Speaker 1: like a human it's actually kind of interesting because they
Speaker 1: like take like very thin shavings off of it and
Speaker 1: take a picture and then that way they can make
Speaker 1: a three D They put all of those pictures into
Speaker 1: a computer program and it makes it an entirely complete
Speaker 1: three D model of everything, the skin, the fat tissues,
Speaker 1: the circulatory system, the bones um. And there was this
Speaker 1: lady who like volunteered to do it, and it's just
Speaker 1: like it's so weird because you like there's just like
Speaker 1: a pair of legs and like the bottom half of
Speaker 1: the body, just like getting sliced up, and it's hot.
Speaker 1: It's hot, it's hot. It's really yeah. Um So, I
Speaker 1: thought this was about gluttony, not lust. Come on, come on, guys,
Speaker 1: come on. Eating your own butt would be called auto cannibalism.
Speaker 1: And see, squirts are marine. Squirts are marine invertebrates who
Speaker 1: practice auto cannibalism. So in their adult forms, they look
Speaker 1: like these weird, globbly, colorful tube things that, uh, they
Speaker 1: don't even look like animals. They look like some kind
Speaker 1: of weird SpongeBob plant because they're attached to rocks or reefs.
Speaker 1: They don't really move on their own. They they're just
Speaker 1: kind of look like like very colorful inflatable you know,
Speaker 1: those like inflatable dudes that are outside of like card
Speaker 1: dealerships and stuff where it's like, oh, it's like a
Speaker 1: wacky inflatable dude. Nick, do I have to tell her
Speaker 1: that those aren't real dudes? I need to reassess my
Speaker 1: relationship then one of those. Um So, adults can either
Speaker 1: be solitary or form colonies, and they they're really weird.
Speaker 1: And it took me a lot of time to wrap
Speaker 1: my mind around this. Because they can reproduce sexually by
Speaker 1: just shooting out sperm and egg or by collecting sperm
Speaker 1: that is fertilized within the C. Squirt. And they can
Speaker 1: also reproduce a sexually by butting, which is a form
Speaker 1: of like creating a clone of itself forming colonies. And
Speaker 1: it's just it's basically they'll just try anything one budding
Speaker 1: b U D D I. Yes, yes, not butting. That's
Speaker 1: that's what we were talking about earlier with the butt
Speaker 1: eating um. That is the scientific name for it. By
Speaker 1: the way, could we edit it so that when she
Speaker 1: asks what I would do, or even before she asked
Speaker 1: the question, I have the I'd eat my own butt
Speaker 1: answer like way too ready to go, Like immediately, I'm
Speaker 1: just like I'd eat my own butt, Katie, proceed with
Speaker 1: your question. So, uh. Some colonial species of C squirts
Speaker 1: are linked by root like projection called stolens, which sounds
Speaker 1: like gross, and these stolens can grow into new individuals
Speaker 1: within the colony called zooids. This just sounds like an
Speaker 1: alien porno now, like I'm gonna part my stolen in
Speaker 1: your huoid. Yeah yeah, yeah, super hot, And everyone was
Speaker 1: thinking that before you said, yeah, I mean we're all
Speaker 1: on the same page here, right, Yeah, So other species
Speaker 1: of sea squirts can just like break apart and form
Speaker 1: new buds, like new little protos c squirts, or they'll
Speaker 1: split in half and make two seats. It's just like
Speaker 1: they do anything they feel like they can. They can
Speaker 1: have sex, bite just randomly tossing out sperm and eggs
Speaker 1: or like sperm eggs and like, it's just it's crazy
Speaker 1: that they have all these different types of reproductive strategies
Speaker 1: where they can like just be like I'm just gonna
Speaker 1: like just pop off a couple of babies a sexually,
Speaker 1: or I'm just gonna like dissolve into a few new babies,
Speaker 1: or we're all split in half and create a twin.
Speaker 1: It's it's really weird. That would be a great imagination
Speaker 1: station for down the road, just imagining if humans had
Speaker 1: the ability to just reproduce all of those ways. Like,
Speaker 1: would we ever have sex with each other? Because I
Speaker 1: feel like everybody would just probably break themselves off because
Speaker 1: we're all narcissists. But I mean, I feel like people
Speaker 1: don't always just have sex to have babies these days.
Speaker 1: What I know, right, I'm sorry, I have to reevaluate
Speaker 1: my relationship. I'm sorry, Jesus. Um. So, for C squirts
Speaker 1: who fertilize their eggs doing reproduction in the normal god
Speaker 1: fear in American way, then the missionary position, a larva
Speaker 1: will form, and the larva actually looks like tadpoles, which
Speaker 1: is weird because the adult forms of C squorts look
Speaker 1: like weird plants and the larva look like actual kind
Speaker 1: of like you know, like a tadpole. Um, And they
Speaker 1: undergo process called retrogressive metamorphosis because that means that their
Speaker 1: adult form is more simplistic than the larval form, just
Speaker 1: like humans. Huh yeah, we lose a lot of our
Speaker 1: souls when we become adults. Yeah yeah, um so children
Speaker 1: are so pure, they are pure. Nobody has ever said that.
Speaker 1: Who has had children? Right? Right? Yeah? So they attached
Speaker 1: themselves to rocks or reef material, and they'll become a
Speaker 1: mobile filter feeders, which is called being sessile, which to me,
Speaker 1: it just sounds like ale and porn. Again. It's like
Speaker 1: like I'm gonna put my chest and shy of your huoid.
Speaker 1: I'm that's your sex voice. Yeah, I'm here to deliver
Speaker 1: some stolene. But look appears you do not have any credits,
Speaker 1: so I'm going to seshile. So basically they're just a
Speaker 1: mouth of stomach and a butt tube. But that's not
Speaker 1: the crazy part. The c squirt larvae have like tadpole
Speaker 1: form of them have this very simple brain vesicle. It's
Speaker 1: a nerve cord and a primitive precursor to the spine
Speaker 1: uh and sensory organ so like an I dot which
Speaker 1: detects light and an autolith which detects gravity. So it
Speaker 1: forms this very simple, dumb little brain nervous system that
Speaker 1: allows it to seek out a solid surface to attach to.
Speaker 1: Once it attaches itself to a reef and becomes an adult,
Speaker 1: it will eat its own brain, nervous system and tail
Speaker 1: because it doesn't need them anymore. Kind of. So this
Speaker 1: is one of those things where like the headlines are
Speaker 1: like it eats its own brain, and then you read
Speaker 1: it further and it's still really cool, but it's not
Speaker 1: just like somehow physically and possibly like turn running around
Speaker 1: and chewing on its own brain and digests it right right,
Speaker 1: so it absorbs it kind of like if anybody watches
Speaker 1: Doctor who the absorble off or it just sort of
Speaker 1: like melds things into its body um nerd alert, nerd alert.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, no, we all watch that. Yeah yeah here
Speaker 1: in America. Move along, I watched Sports Center. Uh. So
Speaker 1: it'll absorb its own tail nerve cord and sensory organs,
Speaker 1: and the brain vesicle that controlled movement and digestion is
Speaker 1: also absorbed, and it's recycled into sort of a more
Speaker 1: simple form of like it's a cerebral ganglion, which is
Speaker 1: just kind of a group of nerve cell bodies that
Speaker 1: now all it does is allows it to eat and reproduce,
Speaker 1: so turns into just this like tube that it's just
Speaker 1: like eaten, having sex and pupin the ultimate center because
Speaker 1: it's like getting drunk for that species. Feel like yeah,
Speaker 1: I guess so, because it's just like sitting around just
Speaker 1: allowing everything to come to it, like you know, like
Speaker 1: it doesn't even move to like go have sex. It's
Speaker 1: just like I don't know, just come, you know, order
Speaker 1: to pizza. It's like getting way too drunk. I think
Speaker 1: it's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, like like the kind of
Speaker 1: drink you shouldn't be doing where you're just like ordering
Speaker 1: a bunch of food off of like Amazon Prime, where
Speaker 1: you're just like groceries, not even a meal. Just I want,
Speaker 1: like I want like a dozen eggs. Yeah, I mean,
Speaker 1: I like pomegrants take into account all the work. That's when,
Speaker 1: you know, you know, like when it's just like you
Speaker 1: you wake up and you're surrounded by like eggshells and
Speaker 1: like half eaten pomegranates, that you're in trouble. That's that's
Speaker 1: what told me so. But if you're more interested in
Speaker 1: the kind of glutton that uses its mouth to eat,
Speaker 1: gosh darn unaccepting people like you should be able to
Speaker 1: eat too. I know. There's a frog called the argentinean
Speaker 1: wide mouth frog, which is which is really insulting, just
Speaker 1: like the wide mouth um. It's also known as the
Speaker 1: pac man frog, and it makes a lot of sense
Speaker 1: because the frog has a mouth that takes up a
Speaker 1: bunch of its body volume, and it mainly subsists on ghosts,
Speaker 1: so it looks like a green pac man and it
Speaker 1: acts like one too. It'll just fearlessly eat rodents, reptiles,
Speaker 1: large spiders, each other, and even prey that's too large
Speaker 1: to fit in its mouth, and it's it will actually
Speaker 1: like choke to death or even rip its own stomach open.
Speaker 1: Attempting to gorge itself on something way too big, and
Speaker 1: they're like pictures of it, like with like a lizard
Speaker 1: just like popping out of its stomach because it's like
Speaker 1: it's like that looks about right, and it's just like
Speaker 1: forcing it in, like Kirby, just like get in there. Stop.
Speaker 1: What is the evolutionary advantage of like not having a
Speaker 1: I'm too full reflex? Just fast eating like and it's
Speaker 1: it's not even that it's too full, it's like that
Speaker 1: it doesn't even it's not even thinking about like what
Speaker 1: it's eating. It's just like eating eat. It's like if
Speaker 1: it isn't thinking before eating, it's going to be faster
Speaker 1: at grabbing prey and uh and then like on average,
Speaker 1: you know that'll be okay because even like like big,
Speaker 1: bigger prey, prey that's too big will generally maybe be
Speaker 1: able to escape and so like no harm, no foul,
Speaker 1: but like, uh, if it's indiscriminate, it's going to get
Speaker 1: as much in there as possible. But sometimes too much,
Speaker 1: sometimes too much, and then they're just like a statistic
Speaker 1: and uh, you know it's it's too bad for the
Speaker 1: pac man frog. But overall it's a relatively good strategy
Speaker 1: to just like, I guess animals can look at us
Speaker 1: and be like, why do they do drugs? Until that
Speaker 1: didn't make sense. Yeah, uh so creepy or still there's
Speaker 1: a human version of the argentinean wide mouth frog. I
Speaker 1: feel bad because they're about no. So it's he's actually
Speaker 1: a Frenchman in the late eighteenth century. And I swear
Speaker 1: I did not plan out like calling them like like
Speaker 1: making comparing a French person to a frog. That was
Speaker 1: not that. There's no reason to do that. I'm not intentional.
Speaker 1: So in the late eighteenth century, this guy was known
Speaker 1: simply as Tarar, and Tarar was insatiably hungry, eating anything
Speaker 1: and everything he could. Uh. He was a normally sized man,
Speaker 1: even kind of a little bit on the skinny side,
Speaker 1: but his stomach would distend to accommodate his strange and
Speaker 1: gluttonous diet. I think what the kids call this day
Speaker 1: like a food baby. And he had an abnormally wide
Speaker 1: mouth and loose skin on his cheeks, just like kind
Speaker 1: of flocking around Aura and his own kid just unlocked
Speaker 1: her joke fit an entire gerbil inside my mouth. His
Speaker 1: own parents kicked him out for eating too much. He
Speaker 1: traveled as an entertainer and this is kind of gross,
Speaker 1: but he would swallow full baskets of apples, dozens of eggs,
Speaker 1: feasts in one sitting, and even live eels, snakes, lizards,
Speaker 1: and live cats and puppies. Yeah, I mean yeah, I
Speaker 1: mean this is back in the eighteenth century where they're
Speaker 1: just like it's we don't see the amazing. We don't
Speaker 1: have TVs, so I don't know, eat a kitten, throw
Speaker 1: your cat at and see what happens. So there, you know,
Speaker 1: Peter didn't exist at the time, so people were like, oh,
Speaker 1: he just ate seven kittens, how droll um. So while
Speaker 1: he was in the hospital attempting to undergo treatment, he
Speaker 1: even attempted to eat bodies in the morgue, and he
Speaker 1: was accused, although it was not proven, of eating a toddler.
Speaker 1: Uh So the hospital kicked him out like well, like
Speaker 1: they're like, all right, you can eat as many dead
Speaker 1: bodies in the morgue, but you eat a toddler, that's it.
Speaker 1: Animal Again, they found him in like the newborn nursery. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm not sure, like what they I think a toddler
Speaker 1: just went missing. So they were like, tarare I heard
Speaker 1: he even ate the hospital food. All right, guys, so
Speaker 1: the hospital kicked him out. I've been Jack everyone Jack's
Speaker 1: been jack Um. And so that's the story of ter Aar,
Speaker 1: the legendary human pac man frog. The hospital kicked him out,
Speaker 1: and he just kind of well, he eventually died. Yeah, dissolved,
Speaker 1: dissolved into like like several smaller terrs, like I don't
Speaker 1: knows where he is to this day. He might be.
Speaker 1: He could be right behind you, that's right in your
Speaker 1: back seat, yes, because you're driving, or like yeah, open
Speaker 1: your eyes. By the way, Oh, ship, we never told
Speaker 1: you got a seat to drive. Your car is covered
Speaker 1: in human body parts. Well, at least you know, at
Speaker 1: least you learned something. At least you learned. You've been
Speaker 1: on a journey. You've been on a learning journey, learning journey,
Speaker 1: learning journey. Uh, that's gonna be the new name of
Speaker 1: this podcast, My Good Mouth eaton Boys a learning journey.
Speaker 1: So this seems like it was a more common thing
Speaker 1: to just eat ship, like not ship, but like eat
Speaker 1: just things that aren't supposed to be eaten. Because another
Speaker 1: article we did at an hour old hybrow publication was
Speaker 1: about like people with really weird diets and Darwin, in
Speaker 1: addition to like discovering all these species and like coming
Speaker 1: up with the theory of evolution ate every species that
Speaker 1: we documented. And there are a bunch of kings and
Speaker 1: other people throughout history who just like ate everything. They
Speaker 1: thought it was like a sign of like maybe that
Speaker 1: was before we had gotten used to being out of
Speaker 1: the food chain, and like that's how you showed your
Speaker 1: dominance over Interesting. There's like that one French scientist guy
Speaker 1: who like this is like right before the French Revolution
Speaker 1: and like all he would do is drink milk for
Speaker 1: a long time to see if that worked. He was
Speaker 1: killed in the revolution, but to see if that would
Speaker 1: bring peace to the French countries in the world. Know,
Speaker 1: think it was more of a scientific thing, like can
Speaker 1: you just drink milk? Oh, to see if that would
Speaker 1: make them all the sustenance that he needed. Yeah, Mussolini
Speaker 1: was also that he would only eat white things and
Speaker 1: mostly at the end of his life was just racist.
Speaker 1: Don't say that about Muslin. Um, Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 1: I mean, I think, although to be fair to Darwin,
Speaker 1: if you're like the grandfather of discovering all these new species,
Speaker 1: wouldn't you just taste them? I wouldn't. But that's where
Speaker 1: you and Darwin are different. He found like an entirely
Speaker 1: new turtle. You wouldn't just taste it. Then he ate
Speaker 1: an entire turtle like a giant tortoise. Ate turtles. But
Speaker 1: that's crazy. I mean, there's used to be a food before,
Speaker 1: Like we killed a lot of them, and I guess
Speaker 1: I went out of vogue. Well, this is the Animal
Speaker 1: Theme podcast, where we actively encourage eating endangered species. So, Jack,
Speaker 1: you got anything to plug? I don't know, like maybe
Speaker 1: a podcast tong sort. Yeah, we have a podcast here
Speaker 1: on this very network. It's called The Daily Zeitgeist. Uh.
Speaker 1: We published a new episode every weekday. Is I My
Speaker 1: co host Miles Gray, who was on the episode about
Speaker 1: Weird Moms from season one. We talk about all the
Speaker 1: news that's fit to print and just try and figure
Speaker 1: out what people are thinking and talking about down in
Speaker 1: the pop culture. It's a blast. And you follow me
Speaker 1: on Twitter at Jack Underscore O'Brien, and you can follow
Speaker 1: us on Twitter by us, I mean me, it's the
Speaker 1: Royal US creature feet pod, not feet like as in
Speaker 1: feet but at the a t you can tell me
Speaker 1: at Community Golden and at pro Bird writes, because I'm
Speaker 1: very much an activists or burbs uh. And we'll be
Speaker 1: back next Wednesday with another episode of Creature Future by
Speaker 1: Guys bye ye h