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Speaker 1: Hello, Hey, what's up man? How you doing?

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Speaker 2: I'm good man. Yeah, it's my day off from work,

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Speaker 2: hanging out.

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Speaker 1: What Uh what's your name, sir?

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Speaker 2: My name is Steve.

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Speaker 1: What's going on, Steve? What are you doing with your

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Speaker 1: day off?

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Speaker 2: Uh? Right now, I'm just feeding all my animals and

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Speaker 2: I'm gonna go. There's like this natural spring that I

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Speaker 2: go to to fill up water jugs. So I'm gonna

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Speaker 2: go fill up my water.

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Speaker 1: Oh cool? How many jugs do you think you're gonna

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Speaker 1: fill up?

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Speaker 2: I got these glass five gallon jugs, and I got

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Speaker 2: I got three big glass five gallon jugs. Then I

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Speaker 2: got five one gallon jugs.

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Speaker 1: So how many gallons are that in total?

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Speaker 2: Like twenty gallons? Dude?

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Speaker 1: What's how big is a five gallon jug? That sounds huge?

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Speaker 2: I mean yeah, it's yeah, and it's made it they're

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Speaker 2: all glass, so yeah, they're pretty heavy.

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Speaker 1: How is how close is the stream to your house?

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Speaker 2: It's like a thirty minute drive. But like when they

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Speaker 2: were making the road the highway, the people that were

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Speaker 2: making the road just like tapped into these natural springs

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Speaker 2: and put these like fountains on top of it, and

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Speaker 2: it's just delicious clean water just coming out of the ground.

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Speaker 2: You can just people just pull over off the side

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Speaker 2: of the road and fill up their water.

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Speaker 1: And there's no sediment in there, there's no dirt, there's

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Speaker 1: no aids.

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Speaker 2: No, it's yeah, I mean, do you see the water

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Speaker 2: coming out? It's just crystal clear cold, fright. It's like

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Speaker 2: it's literally the best water ever. It's great.

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Speaker 1: You kind of sound like you have a very cheats

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Speaker 1: and show vibe in your voice.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, man, I mean I got yeah, I got

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Speaker 2: dreads like past like almost to my stomach, like creamage

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Speaker 2: to my stomach.

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Speaker 1: Why why do you fill up these jugs with water

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Speaker 1: instead of just like what's wrong with the tap? You know,

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Speaker 1: because and I this water sounds fucking delicious? But half

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Speaker 1: hour drive is I mean that's an hour that's an

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Speaker 1: hour commute.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, It's not like I do it every week. You know.

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Speaker 2: We probably go there like every two months, you know,

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Speaker 2: like every other month. Well, and we just make like

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Speaker 2: a family trip out of it, like, oh, we just

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Speaker 2: go on the dry we fill up the jug. It's

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Speaker 2: just kind of like, you know, I could see how

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Speaker 2: it could be seen as inconvenient, but for us, like, yeah,

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Speaker 2: the water's really good. It's free, it's from the earth,

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Speaker 2: and you know we kind of just make like a

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Speaker 2: little trip out of it.

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Speaker 1: Who's we.

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Speaker 2: Uh, me and my girlfriend and my daughter? You have

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Speaker 2: this seven year old daughter?

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Speaker 1: Oh, very nice house. Having a daughter.

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Speaker 2: I mean, like it's cool. It's hard. It's not easy

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Speaker 2: because you know, I feel like it's just you know,

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Speaker 2: it's hard being just two people and a baby, not

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Speaker 2: really having like a big family or like support system.

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Speaker 2: So there's things that are hard about it. But then

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Speaker 2: there's things that I really like about it. You know,

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Speaker 2: like you can kind of like, you know, like I

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Speaker 2: look at her and I kind of see like a

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Speaker 2: younger me, you know, and it's like I'm able to

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Speaker 2: heal my inner child by having a child sometime, you know,

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Speaker 2: if that make sense?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, sure, sure, How what uh maybe this might be

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Speaker 1: a loaded question, but wh what do you need to

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Speaker 1: heal about your inner child?

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Speaker 2: Well? I feel like I feel like when I was

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Speaker 2: a kid, I wasn't really like, uh nurtured, you know,

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Speaker 2: like my parents are really cold and harsh and like

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Speaker 2: didn't really do things with me. And I feel like

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Speaker 2: I was kind of like, you know, my inner child

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Speaker 2: was stifled a little bit like, no, you need to

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Speaker 2: grow up. You need to you know, like like I

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Speaker 2: feel like I missed out on a lot of childhood things,

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Speaker 2: so you know, I like to be there with her

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Speaker 2: and like do things with her instead of just like, oh,

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Speaker 2: I give you food, I give you a roof, I

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Speaker 2: give you clothes, that's it. That's kind of how my

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Speaker 2: parents were, you know, like they're like, Okay, you know,

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Speaker 2: we provide you with life and that's it, you know,

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Speaker 2: so I try to do like more.

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Speaker 1: Mmmmmmm right. Yeah, you had parents that just kind of

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Speaker 1: gave you the things that they were legally obligated to

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Speaker 1: give you, but didn't actually want to hang out.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, you know, yeah my uh yeah, yeah. I

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Speaker 2: left home when I was sixteen, you know, but I

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Speaker 2: started running away when I was probably twelve thirteen years old.

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Speaker 2: But I didn't leave for good twelve sixteen.

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Speaker 1: Why did you start running away?

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Speaker 2: My dad is an alcoholic and he's in the military,

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Speaker 2: and he was like he wasn't very good at separating

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Speaker 2: his work from his home, you know, like he would

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Speaker 2: come home and just act still like a drill sergeant,

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Speaker 2: you know what I mean. Like he was treated his

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Speaker 2: family kind of like how he would treat the Marines

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Speaker 2: that he was in charge of. You know, he was

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Speaker 2: a very harsh man, you know, like my way or

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Speaker 2: the Highway kind of deal, you know, and like, yeah

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Speaker 2: he was, yeah, he was. He was pretty mean, you know. So,

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Speaker 2: and I was homeschooled all of junior high Yeah, yeah, man.

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Speaker 2: So I started running away just because it felt like

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Speaker 2: I had a better chance out there than I did

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Speaker 2: where I was. But ultimately, is like when I was

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Speaker 2: a young team, like thirteen fourteen running away, eventually I

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Speaker 2: would have to come home because I would needed food

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Speaker 2: like that. That. Like there was times where I would

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Speaker 2: be gone for you know, a couple of weeks, but

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Speaker 2: I just never could get enough food, so I would

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Speaker 2: like come crawling back.

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Speaker 1: Basically, So you were twelve and you ran away. When

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Speaker 1: you ran away, where'd you go?

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Speaker 2: I mean I was really I used to read so

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Speaker 2: many books, and I would read a lot of like

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Speaker 2: wilderness survival books like My Side of the Mountain and like,

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Speaker 2: you know, just just books whether fantasy or fiction or

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Speaker 2: like nonfiction where like you know, someone did that where

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Speaker 2: they could just live off in the woods and like

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Speaker 2: take care of themselves and stuff. And I mean I

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Speaker 2: would run away and like be in the woods under

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Speaker 2: a bridge, you know, like sneaking out, stealing food, you know,

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Speaker 2: trying to find berries, you know, trying it just never

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Speaker 2: would work out. You know, it's not really how it

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Speaker 2: is in the books. You know, you read a book

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Speaker 2: and there's always like, you know, people always figure because

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Speaker 2: the story. It's not real life, so people always find

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Speaker 2: a way. But you know, it's a lot harder than

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Speaker 2: it seems. And I would always tell myself, you know,

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Speaker 2: when I'm big enough to take care of myself, I'm

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Speaker 2: gonna go and I'm not gonna come back. And it

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Speaker 2: was like probably a month after my sixteenth birthday, I

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Speaker 2: was like, you know this is you know, I'm old

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Speaker 2: enough now I can take care of myself. I don't

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Speaker 2: have to be here. And I mean my parents didn't

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Speaker 2: try and stop me. I was just like, you know,

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Speaker 2: I was like, I'm ready to go. I want to go,

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Speaker 2: and they packed me a backpack and I remember my

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Speaker 2: mom looked at me. She's the last thing she said

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Speaker 2: to me, She said, well, what are you going to do?

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Speaker 2: And I remember looking at her and I just said,

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Speaker 2: I don't know, but I'm going to do it, you know,

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Speaker 2: And like That's how it was. I had no idea. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: my very very strict Christian household, very very sheltered, very

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Speaker 2: very like in a bubble, you know, like not outside influence.

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Speaker 2: Like we didn't have cable, we didn't have internet. I'd

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Speaker 2: never used the computer, you know, Like we were like

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Speaker 2: very sheltered, you know. So I just went out into

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Speaker 2: the world, not really knowing what was going to happen,

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Speaker 2: but I just knew that, like, whatever it was out

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Speaker 2: there had to be better than where I was at.

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Speaker 1: What did you leave with what you have on you?

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Speaker 2: I mean I didn't even get to pick. My dad

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Speaker 2: packed my backpack for me, and it was like my

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Speaker 2: I had like this oversized school backpack, and I mean

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Speaker 2: he threw like some clothes in there. I didn't have

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Speaker 2: a phone, I didn't have a birth certificate, I didn't

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Speaker 2: have an ID, I didn't have a Social Security card.

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Speaker 2: It was like a bag with some clothes in it.

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Speaker 2: And my mom snuck me a twenty dollar bill because

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Speaker 2: my dad would have freaked out if he knew she

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Speaker 2: gave me any money. And she gave me a twenty

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Speaker 2: dollars bill. So that's how I know, That's how I

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Speaker 2: started my life at sixteen, you know, I had a

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Speaker 2: backpack with my old school backpack in like sixth grade,

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Speaker 2: with some clothes in it and a twenty dollar bill.

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Speaker 2: And I mean, I didn't I didn't know anybody because

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Speaker 2: I was homeschool. I didn't have any friends to go to.

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Speaker 2: We were living in Japan at the time. So they

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Speaker 2: flew me back to the States.

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Speaker 1: Wait, you were living in Japan during all this?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, oh for a year. Yeah, for a year. My

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Speaker 2: dad was in the Marines and we were stationed in Japan,

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Speaker 2: and I lived in Japan, and we lived in Japan,

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Speaker 2: and he just put out coming on a plane, flew

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Speaker 2: me back to the States.

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Speaker 1: Okay. So they so when you and when you were

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Speaker 1: so when you were twelve thirteen and you were first morning,

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Speaker 1: well yeah it was that was in California, Okay. And

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Speaker 1: then you're in Japan and you're like, I cannot be

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Speaker 1: with these people anymore. And so your dad says, well, okay,

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Speaker 1: then you don't have to, and he packs your bag

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Speaker 1: with some clothes. Your mom slips you twenty dollars. They

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Speaker 1: put you on a plane from Japan to to back

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Speaker 1: to California to lax Okay, and so you land in

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Speaker 1: Lax and you have no money, you don't know anyone.

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Speaker 3: Where do you go?

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Speaker 2: What do you do? I ended up on skid row?

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Speaker 1: How'd you get there? He walks, He's walk from LA I.

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Speaker 2: Mean, I met this guy from Boston out there and

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Speaker 2: he was basically like, kid, what are you doing? Where

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Speaker 2: are you going? I was like I don't know? And

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Speaker 2: he was like, well, I'm going this way to do this.

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Speaker 2: And I was just like following behind him, and I

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Speaker 2: mean he led me to skid row and fucking he

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Speaker 2: turned out to be a crackhead. And uh so we're

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Speaker 2: like going all up and down skid row. I mean

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Speaker 2: there's like people laying in their own ship and piss

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Speaker 2: on the sidewalk and we're like stepping over them. And

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Speaker 2: like he ends up buying crack. He's sitting there smoking

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Speaker 2: crack and I remember asked. I was like, hey, can

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Speaker 2: I have it? He was like I wanted to get

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Speaker 2: I was like, oh, can I smoke some? And he

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Speaker 2: was like have you ever smoked this before? And I

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Speaker 2: said nope, and he said, then you're not going to

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Speaker 2: do it. And I think about that guy sometimes cause

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Speaker 2: I'm like, man, you know, my life could have been

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Speaker 2: on a lot different trajectory if he had it, just

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Speaker 2: like not given a fucking ben Like, yeah, man here

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Speaker 2: smoked his crack. Because I was a dumb kid. I

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Speaker 2: was like, I just lost left my family. I had

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Speaker 2: smoked weed before. I didn't really know what was going on,

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Speaker 2: you know. So yeah, he was like, no, you're not

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Speaker 2: going to smoke this. You've never done it. And he

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Speaker 2: was like, so what do you do? Like all right,

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Speaker 2: I smoked weed and he was like all right, And

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Speaker 2: we went on on skid road just like looking for

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Speaker 2: a bag of weed. And you wouldn't believe how hard

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Speaker 2: it was to find a bag of weed. On skid row.

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Speaker 2: You could find anything but a bag of weed. We

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Speaker 2: finally found some and I smoked some weed and I

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Speaker 2: ended up hitting up someone that because I was homeschool

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Speaker 2: for junior high. But then I went to high school

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Speaker 2: and I ended up hitting up someone that I went

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Speaker 2: to high school losing. He came and picked me up

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Speaker 2: and I stayed with his family for maybe a year

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Speaker 2: or two. But yeah, and then then my life pretty

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Speaker 2: much changed completely, all because of a Facebook ad. So

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Speaker 2: I was like living in southern California. I had been

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Speaker 2: so I got off skid Row. I was because I

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Speaker 2: told this guy that I went to go. I was like, man,

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Speaker 2: I'm on skid Row. I don't know what to do.

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Speaker 2: So he came and got me. I stayed with him

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Speaker 2: and his family. Him and his family were really cool.

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Speaker 2: I ended up getting a job, and I don't know,

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Speaker 2: life just wasn't I don't know, it was just boring.

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Speaker 2: And I remember sitting there and I was on Facebook

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Speaker 2: and I seen this ad for the four twenties Festival

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Speaker 2: in Denver, Colorado. You know. It was just like I'm

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Speaker 2: gonna go to this. And my friend was like, dude,

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Speaker 2: you don't know anybody in Colorado, You've never been to Colorado.

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Speaker 2: Don't do this. And I just like got two hundred

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Speaker 2: dollars together, got on a Greyhound and just went to

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Speaker 2: Denver for the four twenty festival. And like, you know,

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Speaker 2: I I was always very spontaneous, you know, like I'm

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Speaker 2: just gonna do something. It doesn't matter what anyone's saying.

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Speaker 2: I'm just gonna do it, you know what I mean,

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Speaker 2: Like it doesn't matter how impossible it is, I'm just

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Speaker 2: gonna do it. That was always my mentality. And so

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Speaker 2: I go to Denver. And on the bus, I meet

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Speaker 2: this juggler. Dude. He's covered in face tattoos like you

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Speaker 2: would like like if you saw me, be like, oh,

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Speaker 2: this guy is sketchy, this guy, but he was really nice.

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Speaker 2: He's like this tall guy covering face tattoos. He had

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Speaker 2: like clown tattoos, like the upside him, triangles under his

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Speaker 2: eyes and like, you know, like this guy looked crazy.

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Speaker 2: And he was like, hey, man, like you know, me

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Speaker 2: and my friends are gonna have this four twenty barbecue.

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Speaker 2: And I was like, dude, hell yeah, and he's like,

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Speaker 2: you want to come with me? I mean, we had

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Speaker 2: been talking on the bus from California to Colorado and

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Speaker 2: he invited me to their barbecue. So when I got

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Speaker 2: to Colorad, I didn't even sleep outside one night because

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Speaker 2: I went straight to their house. It was like this

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Speaker 2: big Juggalo house where like everybody in there is a

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Speaker 2: Juggalo and they're having this huge barbecue and smoking weed

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Speaker 2: and like everyone was super cool, and I like slept

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Speaker 2: under their kitchen table. Yeah. Sorry, that was a lot.

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Speaker 1: No Jesus, no, oh my no, this is this is

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Speaker 1: uh no, this is a super super fascinating. It's funny

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Speaker 1: that you bring up Juggalos because you know what, it's

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Speaker 1: so funny you bring up Juggaloes because as you were,

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Speaker 1: I'm I'm making a little uh documentary about uh going

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Speaker 1: to the gathering of the Juggalos last month and everything

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Speaker 1: you're talking about. I don't know, I don't know why.

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Speaker 1: But actually, before you even said that you met a Juggalo,

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Speaker 1: I was thinking about just like your story is kind

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Speaker 1: of making me think about the gathering of the Juggalos.

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Speaker 1: So it's weird that I was thinking about it and

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Speaker 1: then you mentioned that you met a Juggalo because the

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Speaker 1: Juggalo culture is very like, uh, like bohemian and welcoming

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Speaker 1: towards you know, people who are are like, you know,

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Speaker 1: kind of trying to get their footing, you know, so

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Speaker 1: it's interesting you met one of them.

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Speaker 2: Did you.

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Speaker 1: Start to get involved in the Juggalo culture at all.

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Speaker 2: I've always been a Deadhead, so I was like the

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Speaker 2: grateful dead and the dead Heads and the Juggalos. We

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Speaker 2: used to say that they're like they're like brothers, They're

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Speaker 2: like step brothers. We got the same mom with different deads,

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Speaker 2: and like on like the service level. You might not

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Speaker 2: think that dead Heads and Juggalos would get along or

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Speaker 2: have a lot in common. But like there's a lot

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Speaker 2: of jugglos and deadheads who were like tight as folks,

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Speaker 2: you know, like they're like best friend. Like, yeah, I

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Speaker 2: have a lot of good friends that are Jugglers. You know.

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Speaker 2: I listened to the music a little bit, but yeah,

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Speaker 2: definitely more of a deadhead, you know. So I didn't

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Speaker 2: really get absorbed into it, but I was like alongside

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Speaker 2: with them.

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Speaker 1: So you were, I mean, yes, So you took a

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Speaker 1: greyhound from California to Colorado, met this juggal on a whim,

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Speaker 1: the juggle guy. He invites you to this house. There's

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Speaker 1: all these uh Juggalo people. They're having a party. You

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Speaker 1: sleep there for a little bit, just on a whim.

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Speaker 1: The plan was, but I mean, if you hadn't met

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Speaker 1: this guy, the plan was to just kind of sleep outside.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, like I had. Yeah, it was just go to

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Speaker 2: the four twenty event, and I'm I can talk to

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Speaker 2: pretty much anybody. I can just walk up to somebody.

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Speaker 2: I can just see somebody and just like start talking

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Speaker 2: to them, and you know, so I was just like, yeah,

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Speaker 2: I'm just gonna go there. It feels right. You'll talk

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Speaker 2: to some people, you know, but yeah, it was basically

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Speaker 2: just you know, I've slept outside in California. I was like, yeah,

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Speaker 2: it's summertime, there's early spring, you know, it's warm enough.

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Speaker 2: But yeah, I ended up staying with them, and then

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Speaker 2: I ended up getting a job with a tree service company,

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Speaker 2: and then I got my own apartment right next door

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Speaker 2: to there, so like in the same apartment complex, and uh,

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Speaker 2: which was cool working tree service. I did that in

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Speaker 2: Denver for like a year, but then yeah, I mean

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Speaker 2: all all of my roommates and all my coworkers were

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Speaker 2: drug addicts, so they have to tell like a lot

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Speaker 2: of things about like you know, like roofing, a lot

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Speaker 2: of people that do roofing, or like matheaddicts and opiate

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Speaker 2: addicts and kind of same with like tree service. At

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Speaker 2: least in my experience, a lot of the people were

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Speaker 2: meth addicts and heroin addicts. And I still just smoked weed,

334
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Speaker 2: didn't drink. But that's how I lost it all was.

335
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Speaker 2: I mean, my roommates were my coworkers, we all worked

336
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Speaker 2: for the same company, and basically the landlord had enough

337
00:19:18,480 --> 00:19:23,479
Speaker 2: of their bullshit, you know, having people coming over at

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Speaker 2: all weird hours, you know, just cops being called, just

339
00:19:26,200 --> 00:19:30,680
Speaker 2: random you know, just random things when you're living with

340
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Speaker 2: drug addicts, you know what I mean. So we ended

341
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Speaker 2: up my boss ended up well, he was on parole

342
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Speaker 2: and he ended up violating his probation because he was

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Speaker 2: doing drugs, went back to prison, and then none of

344
00:19:43,600 --> 00:19:47,440
Speaker 2: us had jobs, and then we lost our apartment. And

345
00:19:48,200 --> 00:19:51,160
Speaker 2: because I really wish I had saved more money, because

346
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Speaker 2: I was making really good money working for Tree Service,

347
00:19:54,800 --> 00:19:57,080
Speaker 2: but I had never had that kind of money before,

348
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Speaker 2: so I was just spending it as fast as I

349
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Speaker 2: could make it, you know. I didn't have like I'd

350
00:20:03,200 --> 00:20:05,399
Speaker 2: never had a reference for the money like that, like

351
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Speaker 2: I was. I mean, there was days where we'd make

352
00:20:08,160 --> 00:20:12,040
Speaker 2: I'd make a thousand dollars in a day, you know,

353
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Speaker 2: and I had no idea what to do with that

354
00:20:14,600 --> 00:20:18,879
Speaker 2: kind of money, you know. And at the end of

355
00:20:18,920 --> 00:20:21,040
Speaker 2: the day when we got kicked out, I'm sitting there

356
00:20:21,119 --> 00:20:25,000
Speaker 2: with all my bags and my cat, and I'm sitting outside.

357
00:20:25,040 --> 00:20:27,680
Speaker 2: I don't have nothing. I don't have any money, I

358
00:20:27,760 --> 00:20:30,080
Speaker 2: don't have anywhere, you know. So that, yeah, that that

359
00:20:30,240 --> 00:20:32,880
Speaker 2: was kind of a life lesson. Was like just because

360
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Speaker 2: it's good doesn't mean it always will be good.

361
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Speaker 1: What we tell.

362
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Speaker 2: Oh man. Just like my girlfriend at the time, Like

363
00:20:43,160 --> 00:20:46,320
Speaker 2: I like, I like met this girl online that we

364
00:20:46,400 --> 00:20:49,040
Speaker 2: were I was mutual friends with, and I like paid

365
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Speaker 2: for her to come out there and live with me.

366
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Speaker 2: And I mean I was just so I was buying

367
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Speaker 2: her so she I didn't she didn't work, so I

368
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Speaker 2: would just like go to work and like leave her

369
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Speaker 2: money and we eat cigarettes and like go to work

370
00:21:01,960 --> 00:21:09,080
Speaker 2: all day. I'd buy dab break, expensive dab brigs, expensive bongs, acid,

371
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Speaker 2: you know, shoes, clothes, just like movies, just blowing it,

372
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Speaker 2: man like, like literally just spending it. As soon as

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Speaker 2: I would get it, I would pay rent and I

374
00:21:21,720 --> 00:21:26,280
Speaker 2: would just spend it. But yeah, pretty much any day

375
00:21:26,359 --> 00:21:32,240
Speaker 2: off I would be downtown, and that's where I met

376
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Speaker 2: dirty kids for the first time, like travelers, like basically hippies,

377
00:21:38,200 --> 00:21:42,280
Speaker 2: but people that live outside by choice and kind of

378
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Speaker 2: just like travel around with what's in their backpack. And

379
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Speaker 2: like I would hang out with them, drop some acid

380
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Speaker 2: in the park, smoke some weed, and everybody seems so happy.

381
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Speaker 2: Man Like, everybody just seems happy. And I was like,

382
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Speaker 2: they have nothing. They got no, they don't own anything,

383
00:22:01,720 --> 00:22:03,320
Speaker 2: they don't have any stuff. They don't have a house,

384
00:22:04,280 --> 00:22:07,840
Speaker 2: and it just seems so happy and like running around

385
00:22:07,880 --> 00:22:10,600
Speaker 2: barefoot in the grass with their dogs smoking weed. And

386
00:22:10,680 --> 00:22:12,919
Speaker 2: I'd be like I saw that, and I was envious

387
00:22:13,000 --> 00:22:15,760
Speaker 2: of it, because like I have to go back to

388
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Speaker 2: my apartment. I have to I have to go do

389
00:22:19,800 --> 00:22:22,040
Speaker 2: this job. I have to go shovel wood chips all day.

390
00:22:22,080 --> 00:22:24,040
Speaker 2: I have to go cut trees, you know what I mean.

391
00:22:24,040 --> 00:22:25,520
Speaker 2: I have to go do all these things. But these

392
00:22:25,600 --> 00:22:29,200
Speaker 2: people are completely happy just hanging out in the grass.

393
00:22:30,840 --> 00:22:35,240
Speaker 2: And basically that's where I went when I got kicked

394
00:22:35,240 --> 00:22:38,560
Speaker 2: out of the apartment, didn't have the job, had all

395
00:22:38,600 --> 00:22:41,720
Speaker 2: my bags around me, had my little cat. I was

396
00:22:41,840 --> 00:22:43,719
Speaker 2: like what do I do? And I was like, all right,

397
00:22:44,560 --> 00:22:46,520
Speaker 2: I'm just gonna go down to the park and talk

398
00:22:46,560 --> 00:22:48,159
Speaker 2: to those guys. And I went down there and I

399
00:22:48,280 --> 00:22:50,600
Speaker 2: was like, hey, you know, I just lost my job.

400
00:22:51,640 --> 00:22:54,320
Speaker 2: I just lost my apartment and I don't know what

401
00:22:54,440 --> 00:22:57,160
Speaker 2: to do. And they were like, oh, dude, youd hang

402
00:22:57,240 --> 00:23:00,480
Speaker 2: out with us. And you know, at the at that point,

403
00:23:00,600 --> 00:23:02,560
Speaker 2: still in my mind was like, oh, if you need money,

404
00:23:02,600 --> 00:23:05,920
Speaker 2: you get a job. So like I immediately like went

405
00:23:06,400 --> 00:23:08,919
Speaker 2: restaurant to restaurant, store, store, Hey, I need a job. Hey,

406
00:23:08,920 --> 00:23:11,960
Speaker 2: I need a job. Got a job under the table

407
00:23:12,000 --> 00:23:16,600
Speaker 2: at a sushi place in downtown Denver, making cash. The

408
00:23:16,680 --> 00:23:19,440
Speaker 2: guy never even asked me my name. I never filled

409
00:23:19,480 --> 00:23:21,479
Speaker 2: out a job application. He was just like, oh, can

410
00:23:21,520 --> 00:23:24,439
Speaker 2: you start tomorrow. And I started working there, and then

411
00:23:24,480 --> 00:23:26,159
Speaker 2: I would just like I would work at the sushi

412
00:23:26,240 --> 00:23:29,400
Speaker 2: place and then get on my skateboard and just skate

413
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Speaker 2: down to the park, sleep in the park with everybody,

414
00:23:33,280 --> 00:23:39,960
Speaker 2: drop acid, smoke weed. Uh. My boss eventually found out

415
00:23:40,000 --> 00:23:42,359
Speaker 2: that I was homeless. I didn't tell him, and I

416
00:23:42,400 --> 00:23:44,360
Speaker 2: thought I was gonna get fired. He was like, oh,

417
00:23:44,400 --> 00:23:46,000
Speaker 2: why didn't you tell me you live outside, because he

418
00:23:46,080 --> 00:23:49,119
Speaker 2: seen me out there one night and I was like, oh,

419
00:23:49,160 --> 00:23:51,280
Speaker 2: I didn't want you to, you know, fire me. And

420
00:23:51,400 --> 00:23:53,359
Speaker 2: he was like, oh well, And then after that he

421
00:23:53,440 --> 00:23:56,479
Speaker 2: started getting me a meal every day. So every day

422
00:23:56,480 --> 00:23:58,280
Speaker 2: i'd go into work, he'd let me have a meal,

423
00:23:58,800 --> 00:24:02,720
Speaker 2: and he'd let me leave my backpack there. He was

424
00:24:02,800 --> 00:24:05,000
Speaker 2: really cool. I felt bad when I quit that job,

425
00:24:06,040 --> 00:24:07,600
Speaker 2: you know, I really, I really did. I when I

426
00:24:07,960 --> 00:24:09,639
Speaker 2: when I told him I was quitting, you know, I

427
00:24:09,760 --> 00:24:16,280
Speaker 2: felt I felt pretty bad. But I was like, I

428
00:24:16,359 --> 00:24:18,119
Speaker 2: don't know, I was ready. I wanted to go to

429
00:24:18,200 --> 00:24:22,000
Speaker 2: San Francisco. And it's kind of crazy, but you hear

430
00:24:22,040 --> 00:24:25,960
Speaker 2: about San Francisco and you're like, Oh, it's like a

431
00:24:26,040 --> 00:24:28,719
Speaker 2: hippie paradise. You know, that's what you would think. At

432
00:24:28,840 --> 00:24:31,679
Speaker 2: least that's what I thought, you know. I was like, Oh,

433
00:24:31,680 --> 00:24:33,280
Speaker 2: I'm gonna get there and it's gonna be a bunch

434
00:24:33,320 --> 00:24:38,000
Speaker 2: of people like here, smoking weed, hanging out. So I

435
00:24:38,119 --> 00:24:41,960
Speaker 2: quit my job and I fucking I started hitchhiking to

436
00:24:42,000 --> 00:24:50,440
Speaker 2: San Francisco. And I remember, yeah, I had I didn't

437
00:24:50,440 --> 00:24:54,480
Speaker 2: have a backpack. All I had was a pair of shorts, shoes,

438
00:24:54,600 --> 00:24:57,600
Speaker 2: a shirt, and a bed sheet because someone stole all

439
00:24:57,680 --> 00:25:00,920
Speaker 2: my stuff and I I just like looked at the

440
00:25:01,040 --> 00:25:03,679
Speaker 2: map and followed the high start walking down the highway

441
00:25:03,720 --> 00:25:07,879
Speaker 2: with my thumb out, and it took me less than

442
00:25:07,920 --> 00:25:10,200
Speaker 2: a week to get to San Francisco from Denver. My

443
00:25:10,280 --> 00:25:12,520
Speaker 2: first time. That was my first time, like, that was

444
00:25:12,600 --> 00:25:16,600
Speaker 2: my first real hitchhiking trip. I had done small ones,

445
00:25:16,720 --> 00:25:18,760
Speaker 2: like fifty miles, one hundred miles, but that was my

446
00:25:18,920 --> 00:25:22,840
Speaker 2: first real getting your feet wet into it. It was

447
00:25:22,960 --> 00:25:29,480
Speaker 2: Denver to San Francisco, and I got to San Francisco

448
00:25:29,560 --> 00:25:31,399
Speaker 2: and it was not what I thought. It was cold.

449
00:25:32,640 --> 00:25:35,520
Speaker 2: It was very The air is very wet, it's very damp,

450
00:25:35,560 --> 00:25:38,720
Speaker 2: it's very cold. In the streets are very harsh. There's

451
00:25:38,760 --> 00:25:41,480
Speaker 2: a lot of a lot of hard drugs, a lot

452
00:25:41,520 --> 00:25:44,520
Speaker 2: of people with mental illness problems, and a lot of

453
00:25:44,560 --> 00:25:48,920
Speaker 2: people on drugs, and just like it wasn't that safe

454
00:25:48,960 --> 00:25:51,879
Speaker 2: and it wasn't that fun. So then I I was like,

455
00:25:51,880 --> 00:25:54,639
Speaker 2: all right, it's cold, I'm gonna start hitchhiking south. And

456
00:25:55,080 --> 00:25:58,359
Speaker 2: that's literally how it all unraveled. Like there was always

457
00:25:58,359 --> 00:26:00,520
Speaker 2: another place to go to. There was it was another

458
00:26:00,640 --> 00:26:03,840
Speaker 2: thing to do. Like I never like set out like, oh,

459
00:26:03,960 --> 00:26:05,680
Speaker 2: this is how I'm gonna live my life. Like it

460
00:26:05,840 --> 00:26:07,879
Speaker 2: was just like, oh, I'm gonna go here and do

461
00:26:08,000 --> 00:26:10,000
Speaker 2: this thing. And I was like, Oh, this kind of sucks.

462
00:26:10,000 --> 00:26:13,159
Speaker 2: I'm gonna go here and do this thing. And so

463
00:26:14,600 --> 00:26:20,040
Speaker 2: I ended up in Arizone at the gem Shows, which

464
00:26:20,080 --> 00:26:21,520
Speaker 2: I don't know if you've heard about it, but the

465
00:26:21,640 --> 00:26:26,320
Speaker 2: Tucson Gem Show is like the world's largest rock and

466
00:26:26,440 --> 00:26:30,000
Speaker 2: mineral exhibition, and people from all over the world have

467
00:26:30,119 --> 00:26:34,439
Speaker 2: all these different minerals and rocks and gemstones, and everybody's

468
00:26:34,560 --> 00:26:38,480
Speaker 2: like hanging out it's a huge thing. It's it's crazy.

469
00:26:38,640 --> 00:26:42,560
Speaker 2: And so I was there working at the gem show,

470
00:26:42,640 --> 00:26:47,479
Speaker 2: like unloading boxes of rocks, setting up boots, because if

471
00:26:47,480 --> 00:26:49,480
Speaker 2: you show up there earlier and you just walk around,

472
00:26:49,480 --> 00:26:50,959
Speaker 2: you're like, hey man, you need a hand, you need

473
00:26:51,000 --> 00:26:52,800
Speaker 2: a hand, and like you can get a job just

474
00:26:52,880 --> 00:26:56,359
Speaker 2: on yeah, unloading rocks, setting up boots. You don't need

475
00:26:56,400 --> 00:27:01,439
Speaker 2: an id, just under the tablework. And at the end

476
00:27:01,480 --> 00:27:06,479
Speaker 2: of that I heard about a rainbow gathering. I had

477
00:27:06,600 --> 00:27:08,760
Speaker 2: never heard. When I first heard about it, I thought

478
00:27:08,840 --> 00:27:10,520
Speaker 2: it was a gay thing, and I don't have anything

479
00:27:10,560 --> 00:27:13,359
Speaker 2: against gay people, but I was like, oh, you know,

480
00:27:13,480 --> 00:27:16,080
Speaker 2: that's probably not for me, and then I realized that

481
00:27:16,200 --> 00:27:19,359
Speaker 2: what it was like it's just called rainbow gathering, but

482
00:27:21,040 --> 00:27:25,399
Speaker 2: it's like meant to be what society would be like

483
00:27:26,720 --> 00:27:30,960
Speaker 2: if there wasn't money or like like it kind of

484
00:27:30,960 --> 00:27:33,399
Speaker 2: shows you how like okay, see they pick like a

485
00:27:33,520 --> 00:27:37,520
Speaker 2: national forest. Everybody shows up and you learn how to

486
00:27:37,640 --> 00:27:40,920
Speaker 2: dig a latrine and put lie in it so everybody

487
00:27:41,000 --> 00:27:43,639
Speaker 2: can shit in it and not spread disease. And they

488
00:27:43,680 --> 00:27:45,639
Speaker 2: show you how to get water from the river and

489
00:27:45,800 --> 00:27:49,840
Speaker 2: purify the water. And you know, there's different kitchens that

490
00:27:49,960 --> 00:27:53,720
Speaker 2: show up and make food and you help get firewood,

491
00:27:53,920 --> 00:27:58,280
Speaker 2: and they call it leaving Babylon, so you like leave

492
00:27:58,359 --> 00:28:00,320
Speaker 2: the sidewalk and you go in the wood and you're

493
00:28:00,359 --> 00:28:02,680
Speaker 2: like living in like a little mini society for a

494
00:28:02,720 --> 00:28:06,560
Speaker 2: little while. And then they have these gatherings all over

495
00:28:06,640 --> 00:28:09,520
Speaker 2: the world, not just the United States. They have them

496
00:28:10,400 --> 00:28:12,600
Speaker 2: all over the world, and I went to a lot

497
00:28:12,680 --> 00:28:21,280
Speaker 2: of them and they're a lot of fun. But yeah,

498
00:28:21,359 --> 00:28:25,159
Speaker 2: I was doing that for probably five years, just hitchhiking

499
00:28:25,240 --> 00:28:29,600
Speaker 2: around the United States, going to different rainbow gatherings, doing

500
00:28:29,680 --> 00:28:33,680
Speaker 2: different seasonal work, like oh, let's go harvest potatoes, let's

501
00:28:33,760 --> 00:28:38,200
Speaker 2: go harvest sugar beets, let's go prim marijuana. You know. Yeah,

502
00:28:38,200 --> 00:28:41,240
Speaker 2: I'd do jobs like that, like go to the Pacific

503
00:28:41,360 --> 00:28:45,120
Speaker 2: Northwest when I knew everybody was pulling their weed plants,

504
00:28:46,280 --> 00:28:48,480
Speaker 2: and you just hang out outside home depots. So like

505
00:28:48,960 --> 00:28:51,520
Speaker 2: these towns where people are growing weed up in the mountains,

506
00:28:51,840 --> 00:28:55,640
Speaker 2: there's only one home depot for like hundreds of miles,

507
00:28:56,160 --> 00:28:58,200
Speaker 2: you know, so any weed farmer has to go to

508
00:28:58,280 --> 00:28:59,959
Speaker 2: this home depot. So I would just hang out there

509
00:29:01,280 --> 00:29:04,320
Speaker 2: with like some weed trimming scissors in my hand, and

510
00:29:04,480 --> 00:29:06,360
Speaker 2: eventually someone will pick you up and be like, oh,

511
00:29:06,400 --> 00:29:09,320
Speaker 2: how many pounds can you trim in a day? And

512
00:29:09,520 --> 00:29:11,280
Speaker 2: if they like your answer, they'll take you up to

513
00:29:11,360 --> 00:29:15,160
Speaker 2: the mountain, provide you with food, room and board, and

514
00:29:15,240 --> 00:29:17,760
Speaker 2: you just trim weed all day. And I mean sometimes

515
00:29:17,800 --> 00:29:23,640
Speaker 2: for months. You just you're just way up on this mountain,

516
00:29:23,840 --> 00:29:30,560
Speaker 2: like no cell phone service, no roads anywhere, like the

517
00:29:30,640 --> 00:29:32,440
Speaker 2: type of mountain where in the winter people got to

518
00:29:32,480 --> 00:29:36,760
Speaker 2: use snowmobiles to get off it, and you basically just

519
00:29:36,840 --> 00:29:42,880
Speaker 2: trust these farmers that they're gonna pay you. And I

520
00:29:42,960 --> 00:29:44,800
Speaker 2: mean it was it was nice to get a break

521
00:29:44,840 --> 00:29:47,680
Speaker 2: from living on the road, and you know, like for

522
00:29:48,040 --> 00:29:51,840
Speaker 2: for at while you can just live in this little

523
00:29:51,920 --> 00:29:54,080
Speaker 2: shack on a mountain and trim weed. And it was

524
00:29:54,120 --> 00:29:57,520
Speaker 2: cool because I mean there'd be like twelve foot weed

525
00:29:57,600 --> 00:30:01,000
Speaker 2: plants hanging from the ceiling. I'd wake up just surrounded

526
00:30:01,120 --> 00:30:04,120
Speaker 2: by hanging weed. You wake up and you can smoke

527
00:30:04,160 --> 00:30:05,720
Speaker 2: as much weed as you can as long as you

528
00:30:05,760 --> 00:30:09,800
Speaker 2: can keep working, and I would just I would just

529
00:30:09,920 --> 00:30:13,400
Speaker 2: wake up fucking there'd be like a mason jar full

530
00:30:13,440 --> 00:30:16,760
Speaker 2: of oil, dab oil, a roll of fat joint with

531
00:30:16,960 --> 00:30:20,640
Speaker 2: some oil on it, smoke it, and you're just covering weed.

532
00:30:20,720 --> 00:30:23,040
Speaker 2: Like if the weed sticks to everything, sticks to your socks,

533
00:30:23,080 --> 00:30:26,880
Speaker 2: your clothes. I would just wake up twelve foot weed

534
00:30:26,920 --> 00:30:29,080
Speaker 2: plants hang from the sea and just grab some colas

535
00:30:29,160 --> 00:30:34,600
Speaker 2: start trimming. Yeah, and that was like, yeah, I see

536
00:30:34,680 --> 00:30:37,520
Speaker 2: different seasonal jobs Like that is basically how I stayed alive.

537
00:30:38,920 --> 00:30:40,200
Speaker 1: So for those five.

538
00:30:40,120 --> 00:30:46,080
Speaker 4: Years that you were doing this, did you hang on

539
00:30:46,560 --> 00:30:52,280
Speaker 4: to anyone or was it really just you for five years?

540
00:30:52,520 --> 00:30:58,000
Speaker 1: Like, do you have any sort of recurring people in

541
00:30:58,120 --> 00:30:59,520
Speaker 1: your life over that time?

542
00:31:01,880 --> 00:31:04,160
Speaker 2: I was out there for a total of twelve years.

543
00:31:07,920 --> 00:31:08,480
Speaker 3: Not really.

544
00:31:08,560 --> 00:31:11,360
Speaker 2: I mean the most constant thing in my life was

545
00:31:11,440 --> 00:31:11,840
Speaker 2: my dog.

546
00:31:16,040 --> 00:31:17,200
Speaker 1: Your dog went with you everywhere?

547
00:31:18,200 --> 00:31:18,320
Speaker 4: Uh?

548
00:31:18,440 --> 00:31:21,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, I didn't have them in the beginning. I ended

549
00:31:22,000 --> 00:31:24,120
Speaker 2: up getting my first dog because I was tired of

550
00:31:24,160 --> 00:31:29,400
Speaker 2: getting robbed. Like sleeping was the most dangerous part of

551
00:31:29,480 --> 00:31:34,480
Speaker 2: living out there is because people that don't sleep, they're

552
00:31:34,640 --> 00:31:37,400
Speaker 2: just out scheming at night looking for people that are

553
00:31:37,480 --> 00:31:41,640
Speaker 2: sleeping that they can take advantage of. Like sleeping was

554
00:31:41,760 --> 00:31:44,240
Speaker 2: hands down the most dangerous part of living out on

555
00:31:44,320 --> 00:31:48,360
Speaker 2: the road, Like, like you just get accustomed to survival,

556
00:31:48,480 --> 00:31:51,800
Speaker 2: Like I would have to position my head a certain

557
00:31:51,840 --> 00:31:53,960
Speaker 2: way every night when I went to bed, just to

558
00:31:54,160 --> 00:31:56,640
Speaker 2: limit the ways that people could walk up on me,

559
00:31:56,720 --> 00:31:58,320
Speaker 2: because you don't want someone to just be able to

560
00:31:58,360 --> 00:32:01,040
Speaker 2: walk right up on your head, you know. So I

561
00:32:01,120 --> 00:32:04,200
Speaker 2: would sleep like with my head to like a big

562
00:32:04,320 --> 00:32:06,360
Speaker 2: wall or a rock or a big tree or like

563
00:32:07,200 --> 00:32:11,040
Speaker 2: and people. It was serious, man, because you don't know

564
00:32:11,120 --> 00:32:13,080
Speaker 2: if you could be sleeping and then all of a

565
00:32:13,080 --> 00:32:18,680
Speaker 2: sudden someone's stealing your shoes in your backpack and like whatever.

566
00:32:18,880 --> 00:32:21,080
Speaker 2: You know, So I got I got tired of waking

567
00:32:21,160 --> 00:32:25,640
Speaker 2: up with no shoes, waking up with no backpack. So

568
00:32:25,800 --> 00:32:29,600
Speaker 2: I got my first dog and I never got robbed

569
00:32:29,600 --> 00:32:31,920
Speaker 2: in my sleep again. I made a deal with my dog.

570
00:32:31,960 --> 00:32:34,520
Speaker 2: I was like, hey, you know, I'll love you. I'll

571
00:32:34,560 --> 00:32:38,000
Speaker 2: give you the comfort that you need, the food, the water.

572
00:32:38,320 --> 00:32:40,640
Speaker 2: You just help me and not get robbed in my

573
00:32:40,760 --> 00:32:45,800
Speaker 2: sleep anymore. But I have my dog, go Ryd. He's

574
00:32:45,840 --> 00:32:48,320
Speaker 2: my second. My first dog that I had on the

575
00:32:48,400 --> 00:32:55,600
Speaker 2: road got stolen and it was one of the hardest

576
00:32:55,640 --> 00:32:59,920
Speaker 2: things I had to go through. Yeah, I hopped my

577
00:33:00,200 --> 00:33:04,200
Speaker 2: very first freight train with that dog because that's the day.

578
00:33:04,240 --> 00:33:09,160
Speaker 2: I went hitchhiking for maybe five years and then I

579
00:33:09,280 --> 00:33:16,200
Speaker 2: met some trainhoppers. So I was in Manitou Springs, Colorado,

580
00:33:16,360 --> 00:33:22,920
Speaker 2: which is this beautiful little mountaintown and Pike's Peak National Floors.

581
00:33:24,560 --> 00:33:28,680
Speaker 2: That place has natural soda water, so like kind of

582
00:33:28,720 --> 00:33:31,360
Speaker 2: like the water that I have here in Oregon, it's

583
00:33:32,160 --> 00:33:37,680
Speaker 2: instead over there, it's carbonated, so it's like natural soda

584
00:33:37,800 --> 00:33:39,760
Speaker 2: mineral water just coming out of the ground. And there's

585
00:33:39,760 --> 00:33:43,600
Speaker 2: all these fountains, and different fountains have different levels of

586
00:33:43,680 --> 00:33:46,360
Speaker 2: carbonation and like minerals, so they all taste different.

587
00:33:48,920 --> 00:33:51,880
Speaker 1: Did I asked real quick about So this first dog

588
00:33:52,000 --> 00:33:53,520
Speaker 1: that was stolen, what kind of dog was it?

589
00:33:54,920 --> 00:33:57,680
Speaker 2: She was like, uh, what people would call like a

590
00:33:57,800 --> 00:34:02,840
Speaker 2: red dog like she kind of looked like coyote mixed

591
00:34:03,440 --> 00:34:07,800
Speaker 2: like random desert looking dog like. She was like she

592
00:34:08,000 --> 00:34:11,640
Speaker 2: was vicious because she's like a tiny little like I

593
00:34:11,680 --> 00:34:14,759
Speaker 2: don't even like a brown dog with plenty years, like

594
00:34:16,719 --> 00:34:18,760
Speaker 2: kind of like the dogs that you'll see like around

595
00:34:18,880 --> 00:34:22,520
Speaker 2: native reservations in the south, what like in the desert areas.

596
00:34:23,080 --> 00:34:25,799
Speaker 1: How did you connect with this dog? How'd you find her?

597
00:34:27,120 --> 00:34:30,800
Speaker 2: Oh? I was at this truck stop and there was

598
00:34:30,920 --> 00:34:34,880
Speaker 2: these other travelers there, and I walked up and there

599
00:34:35,080 --> 00:34:38,399
Speaker 2: and the dog ran away from them and jumped into

600
00:34:38,440 --> 00:34:41,160
Speaker 2: my arms, and I'm holding his dog I'm like, what

601
00:34:41,320 --> 00:34:44,400
Speaker 2: the fuck, And the people were like, dude, that's not

602
00:34:44,520 --> 00:34:47,719
Speaker 2: our dog. We rescue that dog. That dog hates everybody.

603
00:34:48,440 --> 00:34:50,360
Speaker 2: And I didn't really understand what they meant by this

604
00:34:50,520 --> 00:34:53,440
Speaker 2: dog hates everybody, because this dog's in my arms, and

605
00:34:53,640 --> 00:34:57,080
Speaker 2: like the night we all camped together, and in the

606
00:34:57,160 --> 00:34:59,480
Speaker 2: next day they're like, dude, you know you can have

607
00:34:59,640 --> 00:35:02,840
Speaker 2: that dog. So I kept the dog, and then I

608
00:35:03,000 --> 00:35:06,040
Speaker 2: realized what they meant by she hates. She would bite anybody,

609
00:35:06,160 --> 00:35:10,560
Speaker 2: a child, an old lady, a woman, a man, anyone.

610
00:35:10,680 --> 00:35:13,080
Speaker 2: And she wouldn't growl, she wouldn't bark. She would just

611
00:35:13,320 --> 00:35:16,920
Speaker 2: lunge and attack them. And like like if someone was

612
00:35:16,960 --> 00:35:18,879
Speaker 2: trying to hand me money, I would have to walk

613
00:35:18,920 --> 00:35:21,320
Speaker 2: away from the dog and take the money. If like

614
00:35:21,440 --> 00:35:23,000
Speaker 2: someone was trying to give me a fist bump or

615
00:35:23,000 --> 00:35:25,120
Speaker 2: a handshake or anything, I would have to walk away

616
00:35:25,160 --> 00:35:29,520
Speaker 2: from the dog. Like people like drunk people like drunk

617
00:35:29,520 --> 00:35:30,880
Speaker 2: women would come out of the bars and be like,

618
00:35:30,960 --> 00:35:33,719
Speaker 2: oh my god, can I pet your dog. I'd be

619
00:35:33,840 --> 00:35:36,040
Speaker 2: like no, and then they would be like no, dogs

620
00:35:36,120 --> 00:35:39,279
Speaker 2: love me, and then it get bit or people wouldn't ask.

621
00:35:39,360 --> 00:35:42,040
Speaker 2: I'd be standing there and like turn away and someone

622
00:35:42,080 --> 00:35:44,920
Speaker 2: would try to pet my dog, and I mean that

623
00:35:45,040 --> 00:35:47,560
Speaker 2: was the dangerous part. She wouldn't give any warnings. She

624
00:35:47,560 --> 00:35:51,600
Speaker 2: wouldn't growl, she wouldn't bark, she would just bite. So

625
00:35:51,800 --> 00:35:54,919
Speaker 2: then I understood what those people meant by this dog

626
00:35:55,040 --> 00:35:58,200
Speaker 2: hates everybody. Like I don't know, It was like that

627
00:35:58,360 --> 00:36:01,640
Speaker 2: dog knew me. It was like like I just walked

628
00:36:01,680 --> 00:36:03,560
Speaker 2: up the truck stop and it just ran and jumped

629
00:36:03,600 --> 00:36:08,280
Speaker 2: into my arms. And like I didn't understand how important

630
00:36:08,320 --> 00:36:09,920
Speaker 2: that was when I first met the dog, but then

631
00:36:09,960 --> 00:36:12,319
Speaker 2: after being with her for so long, I was like, Oh,

632
00:36:12,440 --> 00:36:16,400
Speaker 2: that was really special, you know, like this dog hates everything.

633
00:36:17,239 --> 00:36:21,439
Speaker 1: Wow, that's so fast. I truly wonder what it must

634
00:36:21,520 --> 00:36:25,880
Speaker 1: have been. Do you have any idea, any hypothesis, anything

635
00:36:25,960 --> 00:36:28,200
Speaker 1: at all about what it was about you as a

636
00:36:28,320 --> 00:36:32,560
Speaker 1: stranger in that moment that she connected with you over

637
00:36:32,680 --> 00:36:33,359
Speaker 1: anyone else.

638
00:36:34,440 --> 00:36:36,560
Speaker 2: I don't. I had never even had a dog, Like

639
00:36:36,640 --> 00:36:38,560
Speaker 2: when I was a kid, my parents never got me

640
00:36:38,640 --> 00:36:43,800
Speaker 2: a dog. I had only ever had cats. I have

641
00:36:44,040 --> 00:36:46,719
Speaker 2: literally no It was like the dog knew me. It

642
00:36:46,840 --> 00:36:48,719
Speaker 2: was like I just walked up and it was like

643
00:36:48,880 --> 00:36:50,719
Speaker 2: it knew me, and it just ran to me and

644
00:36:50,880 --> 00:36:55,040
Speaker 2: just jumped in my arms and like, and then they

645
00:36:55,239 --> 00:36:57,840
Speaker 2: we were camping, and I remember like laying there in

646
00:36:57,960 --> 00:37:02,360
Speaker 2: my camp just thinking about that dog. I'm like, message,

647
00:37:02,360 --> 00:37:05,879
Speaker 2: an awesome dog. She's so cool. And then the next

648
00:37:06,000 --> 00:37:08,239
Speaker 2: morning they were like, man, we thought about it, and

649
00:37:08,360 --> 00:37:10,839
Speaker 2: we think you should have this dog because they had

650
00:37:10,920 --> 00:37:13,680
Speaker 2: their own dogs, and that was like it was like

651
00:37:13,719 --> 00:37:16,440
Speaker 2: a dog that they were just like helping out because

652
00:37:16,480 --> 00:37:25,440
Speaker 2: they needed them at that moment. And yeah, and I

653
00:37:25,640 --> 00:37:29,600
Speaker 2: hitchhiked around with her and then yeah, like I said,

654
00:37:29,600 --> 00:37:31,719
Speaker 2: we were in Manitu Springs and I was living in

655
00:37:31,800 --> 00:37:37,880
Speaker 2: a cave in the mountains. There's like and there was

656
00:37:37,960 --> 00:37:39,600
Speaker 2: like a stream in front of the cave, and I

657
00:37:39,640 --> 00:37:41,880
Speaker 2: would wash my clothes in there. If I'd take my clothes,

658
00:37:41,920 --> 00:37:43,799
Speaker 2: put them in the river, put the rocks on them,

659
00:37:44,400 --> 00:37:47,000
Speaker 2: and he just let the river be like a washing

660
00:37:47,080 --> 00:37:49,880
Speaker 2: machine and wash my clothes. And the cave was like

661
00:37:50,719 --> 00:37:52,719
Speaker 2: made of clay and it went really deep, so it

662
00:37:52,800 --> 00:37:55,680
Speaker 2: was nice and cool in the summer. And there'd be

663
00:37:55,920 --> 00:37:59,840
Speaker 2: like a dozen of us in there eating mesculine, eating acid,

664
00:38:00,840 --> 00:38:03,839
Speaker 2: eating mushrooms, just living in this cave. And then we'd

665
00:38:03,920 --> 00:38:05,839
Speaker 2: go out at night into the town and like play

666
00:38:06,040 --> 00:38:10,480
Speaker 2: music and get leftovers, bring the food back to the cave,

667
00:38:10,600 --> 00:38:14,600
Speaker 2: share it with everybody. But I ended up meeting some

668
00:38:14,719 --> 00:38:18,399
Speaker 2: train hoppers and they came there staying in the cave

669
00:38:18,480 --> 00:38:21,000
Speaker 2: and we had a fire and we're all sitting around

670
00:38:21,000 --> 00:38:23,080
Speaker 2: the fire and they're telling me all these stories about

671
00:38:23,120 --> 00:38:26,879
Speaker 2: Ryan trains and I was like hanging on every word,

672
00:38:27,120 --> 00:38:30,480
Speaker 2: like it sounded like the ultimate adventure, you know, like

673
00:38:30,600 --> 00:38:34,839
Speaker 2: it was insane. Like I was like wow. And then

674
00:38:35,480 --> 00:38:37,120
Speaker 2: I hung out with them for a couple of days

675
00:38:38,120 --> 00:38:39,880
Speaker 2: and then they were going to leave, and I was like, Oh,

676
00:38:39,960 --> 00:38:42,480
Speaker 2: where are you guys going And they're like, oh, we're

677
00:38:42,480 --> 00:38:46,880
Speaker 2: going to Pleblu, Colorado to hop out of here. And

678
00:38:47,000 --> 00:38:49,080
Speaker 2: then and then they were like, do you want to

679
00:38:49,120 --> 00:38:52,880
Speaker 2: come with us? And me, I was like yes. And

680
00:38:53,000 --> 00:38:56,960
Speaker 2: so many times in my life I'm glad I took

681
00:38:57,040 --> 00:39:01,560
Speaker 2: opportunities like this where it's just like it changed and

682
00:39:01,760 --> 00:39:04,799
Speaker 2: it changed the entire trajectory of my life. Just saying yes.

683
00:39:05,120 --> 00:39:08,000
Speaker 2: It was like taking a chance, you know what I mean, Like,

684
00:39:08,600 --> 00:39:11,040
Speaker 2: even if it seems crazy, even if everyone's telling you

685
00:39:11,160 --> 00:39:14,000
Speaker 2: not to, just taking that chance because you never know

686
00:39:14,080 --> 00:39:20,440
Speaker 2: how what doors it's going to open. And yeah, hopping

687
00:39:20,520 --> 00:39:23,680
Speaker 2: my first train was one of the most terrifying things

688
00:39:23,719 --> 00:39:30,759
Speaker 2: I've ever done. It was very scary. Yes, uh, he

689
00:39:30,880 --> 00:39:34,120
Speaker 2: has a guy. His name was Scruffle up Agains, and

690
00:39:34,239 --> 00:39:37,920
Speaker 2: then the lady, her name was Mama Red. And they

691
00:39:38,000 --> 00:39:41,360
Speaker 2: brought me on my first train. Why it's so scary,

692
00:39:42,640 --> 00:39:44,920
Speaker 2: It was scary. Okay. So there was like eight of

693
00:39:45,040 --> 00:39:50,080
Speaker 2: us with just as many dogs. Okay, in the nighttime.

694
00:39:50,160 --> 00:39:53,359
Speaker 2: We've been waiting in this train yard for days. We're

695
00:39:53,400 --> 00:39:58,880
Speaker 2: trying to go east. And so Scruffy had told me,

696
00:39:58,960 --> 00:40:02,880
Speaker 2: he said, hey, the railroad police, the railroad workers, the

697
00:40:03,000 --> 00:40:07,120
Speaker 2: bull they're like a t rex. If you don't move,

698
00:40:07,680 --> 00:40:11,359
Speaker 2: they won't see you. That's what he told me. He said,

699
00:40:11,400 --> 00:40:13,680
Speaker 2: don't move. If you don't move, they're not gonna see you.

700
00:40:14,360 --> 00:40:17,279
Speaker 2: And like everybody wore like neutral colors, you know, like

701
00:40:17,560 --> 00:40:23,640
Speaker 2: earth tones, browns, grays, dark greens. Everybody had like a

702
00:40:23,760 --> 00:40:26,640
Speaker 2: bandana over their face and a hood pulled up and

703
00:40:26,960 --> 00:40:29,960
Speaker 2: you know what I mean, like it was serious. We're

704
00:40:29,960 --> 00:40:34,319
Speaker 2: all hiding in the shadows. Well, the train pulls up

705
00:40:34,320 --> 00:40:36,439
Speaker 2: and it's an old junk train, like a grain train

706
00:40:36,520 --> 00:40:39,440
Speaker 2: that they filled with grains, and you know, they got

707
00:40:39,480 --> 00:40:44,560
Speaker 2: oil tankers, maybe a couple of box cars. Now we

708
00:40:44,680 --> 00:40:47,520
Speaker 2: all climb on this train and we're laying there on

709
00:40:47,640 --> 00:40:52,759
Speaker 2: the grainer porch. It's hard to describe. It's like they

710
00:40:52,840 --> 00:40:55,400
Speaker 2: got these cars that they filled with good. They opened

711
00:40:55,440 --> 00:40:57,799
Speaker 2: the top and fill them with grain. But then at

712
00:40:57,840 --> 00:41:00,440
Speaker 2: the bottom there's like a ladder in some there's a

713
00:41:00,480 --> 00:41:03,800
Speaker 2: little platform right there you can lay on. And so

714
00:41:03,920 --> 00:41:06,840
Speaker 2: we're laying there. And as I'm laying there waiting for

715
00:41:06,960 --> 00:41:09,080
Speaker 2: the train to leave, I got my dog, I got

716
00:41:09,160 --> 00:41:12,200
Speaker 2: my backpack on. I'm holding my dog to my chest,

717
00:41:12,320 --> 00:41:14,040
Speaker 2: I got my bandan over my face, I got my

718
00:41:14,120 --> 00:41:17,680
Speaker 2: hood pulled up. And I'm laying there and I hear

719
00:41:17,840 --> 00:41:20,480
Speaker 2: the rocks crunching, because there's all these rocks along the

720
00:41:20,520 --> 00:41:23,520
Speaker 2: railroad tracks. And I hear him crunching. Someone's walking towards me,

721
00:41:24,440 --> 00:41:26,640
Speaker 2: and I look down the side of the train and

722
00:41:26,760 --> 00:41:29,280
Speaker 2: I see a railroad worker coming down with a lantern.

723
00:41:29,400 --> 00:41:32,720
Speaker 2: He's shining his light at each of the grainer porches,

724
00:41:32,800 --> 00:41:37,120
Speaker 2: walking closer and closer and closer. And I walked up

725
00:41:37,120 --> 00:41:38,600
Speaker 2: the guy next to me. I was like, dude, I'm

726
00:41:38,640 --> 00:41:40,439
Speaker 2: gonna get out of here. Because on the other side

727
00:41:40,440 --> 00:41:43,080
Speaker 2: of the train there was like an opening in the

728
00:41:43,200 --> 00:41:45,120
Speaker 2: fence and there was a big abandoned building and I

729
00:41:45,200 --> 00:41:46,520
Speaker 2: was like, I'm gonna get up and I'm gonna go.

730
00:41:47,120 --> 00:41:49,640
Speaker 2: And he said, no, remember what Scruffy told you. If

731
00:41:49,680 --> 00:41:52,239
Speaker 2: you don't move, they won't see you. And I was like, dude,

732
00:41:52,280 --> 00:41:56,160
Speaker 2: that's crazy, Like just lay down. So I'm laying there.

733
00:41:56,280 --> 00:41:59,440
Speaker 2: My heart's racing. I'm holding my dog and the crunching

734
00:41:59,520 --> 00:42:01,840
Speaker 2: is getting left and the louder and the udder and

735
00:42:02,000 --> 00:42:04,080
Speaker 2: I'm laying there and I'm eye level to this guy.

736
00:42:04,239 --> 00:42:07,360
Speaker 2: He shines the light right on me. He's looking me

737
00:42:07,480 --> 00:42:09,759
Speaker 2: dead in my eyes. And then he just puts the

738
00:42:09,880 --> 00:42:13,920
Speaker 2: light down and just keeps walking. My heart felt like

739
00:42:13,960 --> 00:42:15,800
Speaker 2: it was gonna come out of my mouth, like it

740
00:42:15,920 --> 00:42:19,319
Speaker 2: was like and I'm just holding my dog as tight

741
00:42:19,400 --> 00:42:24,000
Speaker 2: as I can, and then the train shakes. We go backwards,

742
00:42:24,040 --> 00:42:27,800
Speaker 2: and then it screeches, and then we start moving and

743
00:42:27,880 --> 00:42:31,640
Speaker 2: then we start moving faster, and the wind's blowing and

744
00:42:31,719 --> 00:42:34,719
Speaker 2: remem I was just I'm holding the railing and I'm

745
00:42:34,800 --> 00:42:38,400
Speaker 2: like sticking my head out and the wind's blowing and

746
00:42:38,640 --> 00:42:40,920
Speaker 2: the brake dust. You can smell the brake dust on

747
00:42:41,040 --> 00:42:44,319
Speaker 2: the train, and like every time it goes around a curve,

748
00:42:44,400 --> 00:42:49,520
Speaker 2: he like screeches and like, oh man, that first train

749
00:42:49,640 --> 00:42:54,480
Speaker 2: ride was just like exhilarating. I was. As soon as

750
00:42:54,520 --> 00:42:56,440
Speaker 2: I did, I was like, I am gonna do more

751
00:42:56,520 --> 00:43:00,360
Speaker 2: of this. And it was kind of crazy because the

752
00:43:00,440 --> 00:43:04,920
Speaker 2: train didn't go east. It went back to Denver, and

753
00:43:05,040 --> 00:43:07,719
Speaker 2: I had tried so hard to leave Denver, like I

754
00:43:08,440 --> 00:43:12,120
Speaker 2: it took me forever to get to Manitu Springs, and

755
00:43:12,320 --> 00:43:14,640
Speaker 2: I just ended up all the way back in Denver.

756
00:43:17,640 --> 00:43:20,040
Speaker 2: But those guys, they drank too much alcohol for me,

757
00:43:20,920 --> 00:43:25,560
Speaker 2: so they like, you know, they it was funny. Everybody

758
00:43:25,600 --> 00:43:29,000
Speaker 2: has like a funny name out there, and they were

759
00:43:29,080 --> 00:43:31,680
Speaker 2: calling me. My name is Trip out there, and they

760
00:43:31,680 --> 00:43:34,960
Speaker 2: would call me Trip to Shwilly because like a swilly

761
00:43:35,080 --> 00:43:36,840
Speaker 2: kid is someone that drinks a lot of alcohol. And

762
00:43:36,920 --> 00:43:40,520
Speaker 2: I didn't drink any alcohol, so they gave me the

763
00:43:40,600 --> 00:43:44,440
Speaker 2: name Trip the Swilly, which was funny because I just

764
00:43:44,520 --> 00:43:47,080
Speaker 2: didn't drink at all and everyone drank a lot of booze.

765
00:43:47,719 --> 00:43:51,280
Speaker 2: So I like left and like the first few trains

766
00:43:51,320 --> 00:43:55,160
Speaker 2: I hopped, I just like I was terrified of doing

767
00:43:55,200 --> 00:43:57,239
Speaker 2: it during the daytime, so I'd only do it at night.

768
00:43:58,800 --> 00:44:00,920
Speaker 2: And I didn't even know which way it was going,

769
00:44:02,520 --> 00:44:04,520
Speaker 2: you know, like that was a beautiful time in life,

770
00:44:04,600 --> 00:44:09,120
Speaker 2: like not having anywhere to go, You're just living, You're

771
00:44:09,200 --> 00:44:11,520
Speaker 2: just going to go, you know what. Like I would

772
00:44:11,560 --> 00:44:13,960
Speaker 2: just get on the train just because I know it's leaving.

773
00:44:15,040 --> 00:44:19,399
Speaker 2: And it took me years to like figure out which

774
00:44:19,440 --> 00:44:22,600
Speaker 2: ones are going, what way, why they're going that way?

775
00:44:22,800 --> 00:44:29,040
Speaker 2: You know. Yeah, all in all, I was out there

776
00:44:29,160 --> 00:44:30,040
Speaker 2: for twelve years.

777
00:44:36,719 --> 00:44:36,879
Speaker 4: Man.

778
00:44:38,239 --> 00:44:41,160
Speaker 2: Yeah. I rode trains every corner of the United States.

779
00:44:41,320 --> 00:44:46,440
Speaker 2: I rode freight all throughout, all through the United States

780
00:44:46,680 --> 00:44:52,920
Speaker 2: and Canada. I eventually did Canada because I was like bored.

781
00:44:53,200 --> 00:44:55,960
Speaker 2: It was kind of like riding a taxi, Like it

782
00:44:56,080 --> 00:44:59,560
Speaker 2: got so predictable. I just knew. I knew where the

783
00:44:59,600 --> 00:45:01,360
Speaker 2: train was stop, I knew where it was going to go.

784
00:45:02,080 --> 00:45:04,240
Speaker 2: I knew what to expect. I knew when to hide,

785
00:45:04,280 --> 00:45:05,960
Speaker 2: I knew when not to hide. I knew when to run.

786
00:45:06,160 --> 00:45:07,719
Speaker 2: That's the thing you got to when you're riding freight.

787
00:45:07,760 --> 00:45:09,359
Speaker 2: You gotta know when to run and when to hide.

788
00:45:10,480 --> 00:45:12,800
Speaker 2: And it just got blady, got mundane to me. It

789
00:45:12,920 --> 00:45:15,680
Speaker 2: was like I know what to expect. This was after

790
00:45:15,840 --> 00:45:21,480
Speaker 2: years and years. So then me and my current dog,

791
00:45:21,560 --> 00:45:25,279
Speaker 2: my dog O'Ryan, where I still have him. He's he's

792
00:45:25,280 --> 00:45:30,440
Speaker 2: eleven years old now. But me and him rode into Canada,

793
00:45:31,760 --> 00:45:38,640
Speaker 2: no idea, no passport, and we started Vermont, rode into Montreal,

794
00:45:38,840 --> 00:45:41,560
Speaker 2: and then we rode all the way to Vancouver and

795
00:45:41,640 --> 00:45:47,839
Speaker 2: then walked over the border. And it's one it's one

796
00:45:47,880 --> 00:45:50,839
Speaker 2: of my greatest achieved Honestly, I think it's my best

797
00:45:50,880 --> 00:45:55,920
Speaker 2: adventure ever, you know, because everybody told me not to

798
00:45:56,040 --> 00:45:59,799
Speaker 2: do it. They're like, dude, don't do it. You're gonna

799
00:45:59,800 --> 00:46:02,920
Speaker 2: get deported. Don't do that. It's insane. And I was like,

800
00:46:03,000 --> 00:46:07,920
Speaker 2: I gotta do it. And I pretty much asked anybody

801
00:46:08,000 --> 00:46:11,520
Speaker 2: I could, any trainhoper I met before I went up there,

802
00:46:11,560 --> 00:46:13,960
Speaker 2: I was like, hey, have you ever been to Canada?

803
00:46:14,680 --> 00:46:17,200
Speaker 2: Do you know anybody that's been to Canada? You know,

804
00:46:17,360 --> 00:46:20,719
Speaker 2: I wanted to know, how'd you get up there? How

805
00:46:20,880 --> 00:46:22,880
Speaker 2: long did you stay up there? Did you get deported?

806
00:46:22,960 --> 00:46:25,160
Speaker 2: Why'd you get deported? How'd you get caught? You know.

807
00:46:25,280 --> 00:46:28,440
Speaker 2: I just talked to anybody I met, you know, and

808
00:46:28,520 --> 00:46:32,760
Speaker 2: I just put all the information together and I learned

809
00:46:32,760 --> 00:46:35,319
Speaker 2: a lot, you know. I learned, you know, Canada really

810
00:46:35,360 --> 00:46:38,359
Speaker 2: doesn't like public drinking. So a lot of these kids

811
00:46:38,440 --> 00:46:41,560
Speaker 2: that were riding trains up there. They were getting arrested

812
00:46:41,600 --> 00:46:44,160
Speaker 2: and deported because they were like publicly intoxicated.

813
00:46:48,000 --> 00:46:51,400
Speaker 1: But where would they even send you when you got deported.

814
00:46:52,760 --> 00:46:55,960
Speaker 2: I mean they would hold Like I didn't get deported,

815
00:46:56,000 --> 00:46:57,919
Speaker 2: but they I mean they would hold you in jail

816
00:46:58,040 --> 00:47:00,879
Speaker 2: and then send you back to America. I'm not sure

817
00:47:00,920 --> 00:47:03,759
Speaker 2: where exactly, but maybe just right over the border. I'm

818
00:47:03,800 --> 00:47:07,040
Speaker 2: not sure exactly, but I know that they Yeah, they

819
00:47:07,040 --> 00:47:10,279
Speaker 2: would just hold you and then bring you back. And

820
00:47:12,360 --> 00:47:15,440
Speaker 2: that's like the ultimate failure. You fail, you know, I

821
00:47:16,000 --> 00:47:19,680
Speaker 2: wanted My goal was yeah, Montreal to Vancouver, and I

822
00:47:19,719 --> 00:47:23,440
Speaker 2: did it in three trains, and I mean I had to.

823
00:47:24,480 --> 00:47:27,120
Speaker 2: I ran from the Mounties three times, lied to them

824
00:47:27,160 --> 00:47:30,080
Speaker 2: and got out of it once. One other time. I

825
00:47:30,200 --> 00:47:33,840
Speaker 2: was up there for like two months. I met some

826
00:47:34,040 --> 00:47:37,120
Speaker 2: amazing people, dude people up there. But you hear that

827
00:47:37,200 --> 00:47:41,960
Speaker 2: Cano Canadians are stereotypically nice. They fucking work. Like I met,

828
00:47:42,440 --> 00:47:45,080
Speaker 2: I met some like I'd just be walking and people

829
00:47:45,120 --> 00:47:48,120
Speaker 2: would just like put money out the window. They'd just

830
00:47:48,200 --> 00:47:51,080
Speaker 2: be like, here, man, I'm just walking down this show.

831
00:47:51,080 --> 00:47:53,719
Speaker 2: I'm like, man, I must look rough, I must look

832
00:47:53,840 --> 00:47:59,480
Speaker 2: like I need it. Fucking yeah, I met some amazing people.

833
00:48:00,400 --> 00:48:03,080
Speaker 2: I met people that that's the thing about living out there,

834
00:48:03,200 --> 00:48:08,399
Speaker 2: man with no money and just like you just got

835
00:48:08,440 --> 00:48:11,680
Speaker 2: what's on your back. The people that hang out with

836
00:48:11,760 --> 00:48:13,560
Speaker 2: you and the people that stopped to talk to you,

837
00:48:14,440 --> 00:48:17,080
Speaker 2: you know that it's because they actually want to talk

838
00:48:17,160 --> 00:48:19,360
Speaker 2: to you and you they think you're a cool person.

839
00:48:19,440 --> 00:48:22,600
Speaker 2: It's not because you've got something they needs, not because

840
00:48:23,719 --> 00:48:25,880
Speaker 2: you've got coke at a party. It's not because you

841
00:48:25,960 --> 00:48:27,759
Speaker 2: got a nice car. It's not because you got a

842
00:48:27,880 --> 00:48:30,520
Speaker 2: nice job. It's not because they think that you you're

843
00:48:30,600 --> 00:48:33,359
Speaker 2: well loved. You know. Like I felt like I've met

844
00:48:33,400 --> 00:48:35,839
Speaker 2: a lot more down to earth and real people because

845
00:48:35,880 --> 00:48:38,080
Speaker 2: it put me in those situations to meet those people.

846
00:48:38,200 --> 00:48:42,480
Speaker 2: Because I mean, dude, for so long, I was the

847
00:48:42,560 --> 00:48:44,560
Speaker 2: kind of person that you if someone saw me, they

848
00:48:44,680 --> 00:48:46,560
Speaker 2: usually didn't look at me twice. They weren't even look

849
00:48:46,560 --> 00:48:50,160
Speaker 2: at me once. So if someone stopped and got on

850
00:48:50,280 --> 00:48:53,120
Speaker 2: my level to talk to me, a lot of times

851
00:48:53,120 --> 00:48:55,320
Speaker 2: they'd be like, dude, you're fucking cool as hell. They're like,

852
00:48:55,320 --> 00:48:58,560
Speaker 2: you're an actual person, you know. And that's the thing

853
00:48:58,680 --> 00:49:01,240
Speaker 2: is like it's easy to look out your car window

854
00:49:01,320 --> 00:49:04,279
Speaker 2: and see someone on the streets and be like, oh,

855
00:49:04,400 --> 00:49:07,279
Speaker 2: I know what their situation is. Oh, they could have

856
00:49:07,360 --> 00:49:09,000
Speaker 2: done X, Y and Z to get out of this.

857
00:49:09,200 --> 00:49:11,879
Speaker 2: They could, you know, but you don't know what they're

858
00:49:11,920 --> 00:49:13,840
Speaker 2: going through. You don't know what kind of childhood trauma

859
00:49:13,920 --> 00:49:16,840
Speaker 2: they got. You don't know how hard it is to

860
00:49:16,960 --> 00:49:19,840
Speaker 2: get a Social Security card when you've been chronically homeless

861
00:49:19,880 --> 00:49:24,360
Speaker 2: for over a decade. You know, there's a lot. I

862
00:49:24,520 --> 00:49:27,520
Speaker 2: just wish people had more compassion, and I wish that

863
00:49:27,600 --> 00:49:30,520
Speaker 2: they could see that they're you know, the people living

864
00:49:30,560 --> 00:49:35,520
Speaker 2: outside aren't your enemy. Those are your neighbors. You know,

865
00:49:36,280 --> 00:49:39,759
Speaker 2: those are your neighbors. Like we're all, You're not any

866
00:49:39,960 --> 00:49:42,439
Speaker 2: better than anyone just because you have something and they don't.

867
00:49:43,480 --> 00:49:48,880
Speaker 1: So well, I want to get into this. So you

868
00:49:48,960 --> 00:49:52,239
Speaker 1: were doing this for twelve years from yes, like from

869
00:49:52,320 --> 00:49:53,799
Speaker 1: about sixteen to twenty eight.

870
00:49:54,840 --> 00:49:57,319
Speaker 2: Yeah, and now you have.

871
00:49:58,800 --> 00:50:01,480
Speaker 1: A kid, and it sounds like you got a you know,

872
00:50:01,640 --> 00:50:04,799
Speaker 1: you got a car, and you are like, I.

873
00:50:06,960 --> 00:50:10,960
Speaker 2: Still haven't got a That's the crazy thing is I'm yeah,

874
00:50:11,000 --> 00:50:14,279
Speaker 2: I've never had a driver's license, and I'm kind of I.

875
00:50:14,280 --> 00:50:17,480
Speaker 1: Guess, sorry, I guess I I only I only assumed

876
00:50:17,560 --> 00:50:19,399
Speaker 1: that because I thought you were driving to this uh,

877
00:50:19,560 --> 00:50:21,760
Speaker 1: spring when we first started talking with THEE.

878
00:50:22,719 --> 00:50:25,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, my girlfriend does the drive. I mean, I have

879
00:50:25,440 --> 00:50:27,840
Speaker 2: a bike, and I bike, but we live in a

880
00:50:27,960 --> 00:50:31,040
Speaker 2: small town where I can pretty much, you know. I

881
00:50:31,120 --> 00:50:33,959
Speaker 2: bike to work, I bike to the food bank. I bike.

882
00:50:34,719 --> 00:50:38,319
Speaker 2: I bike a lot, and I don't know cars giving

883
00:50:38,320 --> 00:50:41,560
Speaker 2: me a lot of anxiety and I and I never

884
00:50:41,719 --> 00:50:44,040
Speaker 2: learned how to drive, and I just don't really have

885
00:50:44,200 --> 00:50:46,439
Speaker 2: an interest in doing it. And my life's not really

886
00:50:47,600 --> 00:50:50,040
Speaker 2: you know, like I get around, I don't really. I

887
00:50:50,120 --> 00:50:52,720
Speaker 2: don't know a lot of people, you know, their cars,

888
00:50:52,800 --> 00:50:56,080
Speaker 2: like their personality and like their manness and like their

889
00:50:56,160 --> 00:50:58,600
Speaker 2: masculine you know what I mean. But I don't. I

890
00:50:58,680 --> 00:51:02,239
Speaker 2: don't attach that to to yeah, a big piece of machinery.

891
00:51:02,560 --> 00:51:04,880
Speaker 1: So well, what I was gonna say is, Okay, so

892
00:51:05,120 --> 00:51:08,759
Speaker 1: when you were twenty eight, like, uh, how'd you meet

893
00:51:09,320 --> 00:51:11,880
Speaker 1: uh the person you're with now? And then how do

894
00:51:11,920 --> 00:51:14,759
Speaker 1: you have a kid? And you see it, is it

895
00:51:14,840 --> 00:51:19,919
Speaker 1: accurate to say that you're less nomadic than you were

896
00:51:20,680 --> 00:51:21,919
Speaker 1: at that time?

897
00:51:22,840 --> 00:51:25,400
Speaker 2: Now? Yeah? Yeah, definitely.

898
00:51:25,760 --> 00:51:27,359
Speaker 1: How do you know kind of I want to hear

899
00:51:27,360 --> 00:51:28,240
Speaker 1: about that transition.

900
00:51:35,520 --> 00:51:39,160
Speaker 2: Oh it's kind of funny. I met my girlfriend on

901
00:51:39,320 --> 00:51:45,880
Speaker 2: Instagram and I like followed one of her friends on Instagram,

902
00:51:46,200 --> 00:51:48,080
Speaker 2: and then I seen her in a picture and I

903
00:51:48,239 --> 00:51:52,640
Speaker 2: was like, man, she's cute, like little, dark haired, dready girl.

904
00:51:53,160 --> 00:51:55,960
Speaker 2: And I was like, I just messaged her and I

905
00:51:56,080 --> 00:51:58,880
Speaker 2: was I didn't even say anything. I just sent her

906
00:51:58,920 --> 00:52:02,040
Speaker 2: a picture of me a cardboard sign that said blah

907
00:52:02,160 --> 00:52:06,759
Speaker 2: blah bump stuff, and I just sent it to her.

908
00:52:06,920 --> 00:52:09,440
Speaker 2: And then we started talking and I asked her. I

909
00:52:09,480 --> 00:52:11,719
Speaker 2: was like, hey, you ever ride trains? And that was

910
00:52:11,800 --> 00:52:14,120
Speaker 2: like my pickup line, was like, hey, you ever ride freight?

911
00:52:15,600 --> 00:52:18,399
Speaker 2: And she had only ever hitchhiked, and so we met

912
00:52:18,520 --> 00:52:25,800
Speaker 2: up to ride trains. And when we were living inside

913
00:52:25,840 --> 00:52:32,680
Speaker 2: of a bridge, like uh like literally inside of it,

914
00:52:32,800 --> 00:52:34,920
Speaker 2: Like a lot of the infrastructure around the city is

915
00:52:34,960 --> 00:52:38,640
Speaker 2: built hollow to make it cheaper. And we had found

916
00:52:38,719 --> 00:52:40,960
Speaker 2: a little door that led inside of a bridge, and

917
00:52:41,040 --> 00:52:44,239
Speaker 2: I got my own walk and replaced it, and we

918
00:52:44,360 --> 00:52:47,680
Speaker 2: were just living in there, and she got pregnant, and

919
00:52:51,080 --> 00:52:53,640
Speaker 2: you know, she asked me if I would go back

920
00:52:53,719 --> 00:52:58,040
Speaker 2: home to her home in Ohio and be a dad,

921
00:52:58,200 --> 00:53:02,640
Speaker 2: and I at the time, I was, you know, I

922
00:53:02,880 --> 00:53:05,600
Speaker 2: was like, no, I'm gonna ride trains. I'm gonna keep

923
00:53:05,760 --> 00:53:08,080
Speaker 2: riding trains, Like, you're crazy to think that we can

924
00:53:08,160 --> 00:53:10,719
Speaker 2: be parents. I don't even have I was like, how

925
00:53:10,760 --> 00:53:12,680
Speaker 2: could I That was the main thing in my head,

926
00:53:12,760 --> 00:53:15,000
Speaker 2: was like, how could I be a dad if I

927
00:53:15,040 --> 00:53:17,360
Speaker 2: don't even know what it's like to be to have

928
00:53:17,480 --> 00:53:21,560
Speaker 2: a good dad. You know, my parents were terrible little mods.

929
00:53:21,600 --> 00:53:24,480
Speaker 2: I didn't know, Like I still have problems with my

930
00:53:24,600 --> 00:53:26,920
Speaker 2: own dealing with my own childhood. How could I be

931
00:53:26,960 --> 00:53:28,239
Speaker 2: a dad? You know? Those are all the things that

932
00:53:28,280 --> 00:53:30,759
Speaker 2: were running I'm like, we live in a wall, we

933
00:53:30,920 --> 00:53:34,320
Speaker 2: eat garbage, I shower once a month. I'm like, you

934
00:53:34,480 --> 00:53:39,200
Speaker 2: cannot be parents, you know what I mean? And those, yeah,

935
00:53:39,239 --> 00:53:41,040
Speaker 2: those are the kinds of things that were running through

936
00:53:41,120 --> 00:53:44,560
Speaker 2: my head. And so I told her no, I said,

937
00:53:44,560 --> 00:53:49,600
Speaker 2: I'm gonna stay. I'm gonna keep Ryan trains. So she

938
00:53:49,719 --> 00:53:52,040
Speaker 2: went to the Greyhound and she got a Greyhound. She

939
00:53:52,160 --> 00:53:56,320
Speaker 2: went home to Ohio, and then a while later she

940
00:53:56,440 --> 00:53:58,600
Speaker 2: told me, hey, I'm gonna have the baby. The baby

941
00:53:58,719 --> 00:54:02,279
Speaker 2: was born December third, when I rode trains in the

942
00:54:02,320 --> 00:54:06,040
Speaker 2: middle of winter to Ohio and I saw the baby

943
00:54:06,120 --> 00:54:10,520
Speaker 2: being born. I held my daughter and then I left.

944
00:54:10,719 --> 00:54:12,680
Speaker 2: And you know a lot of people say they're like, oh,

945
00:54:12,840 --> 00:54:15,200
Speaker 2: when you hold your kid for the first time, something changes,

946
00:54:15,280 --> 00:54:18,520
Speaker 2: you know what I mean. It didn't change for me

947
00:54:18,719 --> 00:54:21,040
Speaker 2: right away, you know. It wasn't like this magic thing like,

948
00:54:21,120 --> 00:54:23,799
Speaker 2: oh you see the kid, all of a sudden, You're

949
00:54:23,840 --> 00:54:25,439
Speaker 2: gonna make it work. And I feel like it would

950
00:54:25,440 --> 00:54:27,040
Speaker 2: have been selfish of me to try to make it

951
00:54:27,120 --> 00:54:30,160
Speaker 2: work because I knew I wasn't ready, Like I knew.

952
00:54:30,400 --> 00:54:34,040
Speaker 2: I knew if I stay, I'm gonna go. And I

953
00:54:34,120 --> 00:54:35,880
Speaker 2: didn't want to do that to them, you know what

954
00:54:36,000 --> 00:54:38,480
Speaker 2: I mean. I felt like it was better to be

955
00:54:38,920 --> 00:54:42,239
Speaker 2: away than to be there just to rip it all away,

956
00:54:42,320 --> 00:54:47,240
Speaker 2: you know what I'm saying. So so I kept Bryan trains,

957
00:54:49,680 --> 00:54:55,680
Speaker 2: kept traveling, and I probably would still be out there

958
00:54:55,680 --> 00:54:57,759
Speaker 2: if it wasn't for some really nice people that I

959
00:54:57,880 --> 00:55:02,879
Speaker 2: met off Reddit, of all places. But yeah, I mean, yeah,

960
00:55:03,600 --> 00:55:06,200
Speaker 2: there was this. I used to post a lot on Reddit.

961
00:55:06,360 --> 00:55:09,439
Speaker 2: I don't anymore, but I used to post a lot

962
00:55:09,560 --> 00:55:13,160
Speaker 2: on a lot on there about me riding trains and stuff,

963
00:55:13,200 --> 00:55:16,759
Speaker 2: and people would follow my adventures and donate money to

964
00:55:16,840 --> 00:55:20,720
Speaker 2: me because I'd be you know, And there's this person

965
00:55:21,400 --> 00:55:25,560
Speaker 2: who lived in Sacramento, and it was like pretty much

966
00:55:25,640 --> 00:55:28,760
Speaker 2: every week she'd send me like fifty to one hundred dollars,

967
00:55:29,000 --> 00:55:31,240
Speaker 2: Like it was crazy. I was like, this is insane.

968
00:55:31,280 --> 00:55:39,160
Speaker 2: And then I'm in Oregon picking mushrooms around Thanksgiving and

969
00:55:39,360 --> 00:55:41,919
Speaker 2: she messages me and she's like, hey, do you want

970
00:55:41,920 --> 00:55:45,800
Speaker 2: to come to Thanksgiving dinner? And I sat there and

971
00:55:45,920 --> 00:55:48,560
Speaker 2: thought about it. I was like, I literally could not

972
00:55:48,680 --> 00:55:51,920
Speaker 2: remember the last time anybody had invited me to a

973
00:55:51,960 --> 00:55:55,719
Speaker 2: Thanksgiving dinner, Like it had been years and years and

974
00:55:55,800 --> 00:55:57,920
Speaker 2: years and years. Like every holiday for me was just

975
00:55:58,000 --> 00:56:01,400
Speaker 2: a Wednesday, it was just a Tuesday. It was Oh,

976
00:56:01,440 --> 00:56:06,120
Speaker 2: I'm behind this gas station, you know, And it meant

977
00:56:06,160 --> 00:56:08,520
Speaker 2: a lot that they invited me. So I went down there.

978
00:56:08,640 --> 00:56:12,440
Speaker 2: I got on the train, rode down the Sacramento from

979
00:56:12,520 --> 00:56:16,280
Speaker 2: Portland and I got there and I was only supposed

980
00:56:16,320 --> 00:56:17,879
Speaker 2: to be there for a day or two. These people

981
00:56:17,920 --> 00:56:22,840
Speaker 2: had a nice house, tons of money, kids, just regular

982
00:56:23,000 --> 00:56:27,040
Speaker 2: people and they liked me so much, and I liked

983
00:56:27,080 --> 00:56:29,920
Speaker 2: them that they were like, you know, she asked me,

984
00:56:30,080 --> 00:56:33,040
Speaker 2: she said, you know, if you can have anything, what

985
00:56:33,160 --> 00:56:36,120
Speaker 2: do you need right now? And like she asked me,

986
00:56:36,360 --> 00:56:39,040
Speaker 2: like what do you need? And I told her I

987
00:56:39,160 --> 00:56:43,320
Speaker 2: was like, I'm tired, you know, I'm tired. I was

988
00:56:43,360 --> 00:56:46,160
Speaker 2: like I need to rest. I need to just I

989
00:56:46,280 --> 00:56:51,840
Speaker 2: need to just relax and rest. And so they literally

990
00:56:51,920 --> 00:56:54,920
Speaker 2: sold their house and bought a bigger house that had

991
00:56:54,960 --> 00:56:58,640
Speaker 2: an extra bedroom, and I stayed with them for a

992
00:56:58,719 --> 00:57:02,399
Speaker 2: couple of years and learned how to live inside again.

993
00:57:02,560 --> 00:57:04,880
Speaker 2: It was hard because I would I would pack all

994
00:57:04,920 --> 00:57:07,720
Speaker 2: my stuff and leave it and I'd go ride trains

995
00:57:08,960 --> 00:57:11,680
Speaker 2: and then I'd just like feel like I was stuck

996
00:57:11,719 --> 00:57:13,840
Speaker 2: in this revolving door. You know. I was like, there's

997
00:57:13,880 --> 00:57:15,799
Speaker 2: nothing out here from me. I've already done it, I've

998
00:57:15,800 --> 00:57:18,600
Speaker 2: already seen it. And I would end up going back

999
00:57:20,400 --> 00:57:24,600
Speaker 2: and staying with them, and that kind of went on

1000
00:57:24,760 --> 00:57:30,760
Speaker 2: for a couple of years, just going back, leaving, going back. Well,

1001
00:57:30,960 --> 00:57:32,640
Speaker 2: you know, I had to I had to learn how

1002
00:57:32,680 --> 00:57:36,800
Speaker 2: to be stagnant. I had to learn how to because

1003
00:57:36,840 --> 00:57:39,200
Speaker 2: that's the thing is when you're when you're go, go go.

1004
00:57:39,400 --> 00:57:41,680
Speaker 2: Because I would never stay anywhere more than three days.

1005
00:57:41,800 --> 00:57:45,720
Speaker 2: Usually anytime anything got bad, you just go. And you

1006
00:57:46,360 --> 00:57:50,160
Speaker 2: when you stop, everything you were going from catches up

1007
00:57:50,200 --> 00:57:52,800
Speaker 2: to you. You think you have to deal with stuff,

1008
00:57:52,880 --> 00:57:57,080
Speaker 2: you know. So like if I didn't have that time

1009
00:57:57,960 --> 00:58:01,120
Speaker 2: to be in that safe space with them, I don't

1010
00:58:01,160 --> 00:58:02,760
Speaker 2: know if I could have been to Dad and been

1011
00:58:02,840 --> 00:58:06,440
Speaker 2: here with my family, because you know, I would have

1012
00:58:06,560 --> 00:58:08,240
Speaker 2: just left. If I had gone there, I wouldn't have

1013
00:58:08,280 --> 00:58:11,440
Speaker 2: been ready and I would have just left. So they

1014
00:58:11,560 --> 00:58:15,760
Speaker 2: gave me, like the no judgmental, unconditional love. I had

1015
00:58:15,800 --> 00:58:18,840
Speaker 2: never known unconditional love. They gave me unconditional love like

1016
00:58:19,920 --> 00:58:22,120
Speaker 2: you know, you deserve love. That was a lot of things.

1017
00:58:22,240 --> 00:58:24,160
Speaker 2: Was my self worth, you know, I felt like I

1018
00:58:24,320 --> 00:58:27,720
Speaker 2: deserved to live on the streets. I felt like I

1019
00:58:27,880 --> 00:58:30,800
Speaker 2: deserved to be on the sidewalk. I felt like I

1020
00:58:30,920 --> 00:58:34,400
Speaker 2: deserved to be cold. I felt like, you know, like

1021
00:58:36,080 --> 00:58:38,520
Speaker 2: my self worth was so little, you know, like I

1022
00:58:38,720 --> 00:58:41,880
Speaker 2: just I thought, that's always my life was always supposed

1023
00:58:41,920 --> 00:58:50,040
Speaker 2: to be. And anyway, I had this room I had.

1024
00:58:50,640 --> 00:58:53,280
Speaker 2: They paid for my food like weed, They paid for

1025
00:58:53,480 --> 00:58:55,480
Speaker 2: everything is Yeah, this is.

1026
00:58:55,600 --> 00:58:58,960
Speaker 1: Just a random family that you met on Reddit from

1027
00:58:59,160 --> 00:59:01,680
Speaker 1: from sharing adventures on one.

1028
00:59:03,480 --> 00:59:07,160
Speaker 2: They showed me more love than my own family ever had. Yeah,

1029
00:59:07,200 --> 00:59:11,720
Speaker 2: they showed they showed me compassion, They showed me that

1030
00:59:11,840 --> 00:59:16,720
Speaker 2: I could love myself like and it just blowed my

1031
00:59:16,840 --> 00:59:20,480
Speaker 2: mind like my own family. Because that's why I struggled

1032
00:59:20,480 --> 00:59:23,240
Speaker 2: with so long. Was like, you know, I don't deserve love.

1033
00:59:23,320 --> 00:59:26,480
Speaker 2: My own family could love me. My own family doesn't

1034
00:59:26,520 --> 00:59:30,200
Speaker 2: know if I'm alive or dead, you know, and like

1035
00:59:30,280 --> 00:59:34,600
Speaker 2: how could anyone else, hm, you know, the so I

1036
00:59:34,760 --> 00:59:40,480
Speaker 2: had to deal with that. But yeah, they gave me

1037
00:59:40,560 --> 00:59:43,560
Speaker 2: the space to just work everything out, work through the drama.

1038
00:59:44,560 --> 00:59:48,000
Speaker 2: It gave me the space to just be myself, you know.

1039
00:59:48,120 --> 00:59:51,680
Speaker 2: And and I still but I got through it, and

1040
00:59:51,760 --> 00:59:54,160
Speaker 2: I still wasn't happy. I felt like something was missing,

1041
00:59:54,320 --> 00:59:58,960
Speaker 2: Like I was sitting there sun shining, a beautiful house,

1042
00:59:59,200 --> 01:00:02,680
Speaker 2: fridge full of food, I mean, and I still wasn't happy,

1043
01:00:02,840 --> 01:00:05,479
Speaker 2: like there was something there was something missing in my life.

1044
01:00:05,520 --> 01:00:09,680
Speaker 2: And I realized, you know, ten years are gonna go

1045
01:00:09,760 --> 01:00:12,760
Speaker 2: buy it quick. My kid's gonna grow up, not gonna

1046
01:00:13,000 --> 01:00:17,080
Speaker 2: know me, not gonna want to know me. You know.

1047
01:00:17,200 --> 01:00:22,320
Speaker 2: The time's gonna go by fast. And so yeah, me

1048
01:00:22,400 --> 01:00:27,520
Speaker 2: and their mom reconnected, and so he asked me if

1049
01:00:27,560 --> 01:00:29,840
Speaker 2: I wanted to come see them, And I thought that

1050
01:00:29,920 --> 01:00:32,200
Speaker 2: I was only gonna visit, like I didn't think that

1051
01:00:32,280 --> 01:00:36,120
Speaker 2: it was gonna be a whole thing. And so I

1052
01:00:38,520 --> 01:00:40,520
Speaker 2: I went to one last music festival I went to

1053
01:00:40,560 --> 01:00:43,280
Speaker 2: Hardly Strictly in San Francisco. It's one of the only

1054
01:00:43,320 --> 01:00:45,160
Speaker 2: things I'll go. I used to go to San Francisco's

1055
01:00:45,200 --> 01:00:49,680
Speaker 2: four was there's an annual free bluegrass show and Golden

1056
01:00:49,720 --> 01:00:53,959
Speaker 2: Gate Park called Hardly Strictly, and it's it's like three

1057
01:00:54,080 --> 01:00:56,760
Speaker 2: days of live music. They got all the live stages

1058
01:00:56,880 --> 01:01:00,640
Speaker 2: and food and like it's a really chill time. They

1059
01:01:00,720 --> 01:01:02,800
Speaker 2: clean out Golden Gate Park and then it's just like

1060
01:01:03,040 --> 01:01:07,520
Speaker 2: a bluegrass show. It's been free forever, like since they've

1061
01:01:07,560 --> 01:01:10,720
Speaker 2: been having it. It's awesome. And I went there, had

1062
01:01:10,760 --> 01:01:14,600
Speaker 2: a great time, went to the day, hopped out and

1063
01:01:14,720 --> 01:01:21,440
Speaker 2: I rode trains from basically Oakland to Florida, and then

1064
01:01:21,480 --> 01:01:23,720
Speaker 2: I got on a bus from Florida up to North

1065
01:01:23,760 --> 01:01:29,680
Speaker 2: Carolina where they were staying in Section eight housing and

1066
01:01:29,840 --> 01:01:33,480
Speaker 2: I mean, man, they were they were like living in

1067
01:01:33,600 --> 01:01:38,200
Speaker 2: the projects. They were like living off government vouchers and

1068
01:01:38,440 --> 01:01:44,120
Speaker 2: like this giant Honeycomb apartment complex. My kid was running around.

1069
01:01:44,480 --> 01:01:47,200
Speaker 2: There's I've never seen a cockroach infestations so bad. My

1070
01:01:47,320 --> 01:01:51,480
Speaker 2: kid's running around just like catching cockroaches, you know. And

1071
01:01:52,160 --> 01:01:55,160
Speaker 2: I'm there and I'm like, you know, I couldn't leave.

1072
01:01:56,000 --> 01:01:58,200
Speaker 2: Like I thought. I was just going there to see

1073
01:01:58,240 --> 01:02:00,400
Speaker 2: them and the visit. But once I got out there,

1074
01:02:00,520 --> 01:02:04,160
Speaker 2: like I'm looking at my daughter and she's looking at me,

1075
01:02:05,680 --> 01:02:07,600
Speaker 2: and it was like I was looking at myself, and

1076
01:02:07,720 --> 01:02:10,240
Speaker 2: I couldn't just leave, you know, like I couldn't just

1077
01:02:10,400 --> 01:02:18,080
Speaker 2: leave them to live like that. And I stayed there

1078
01:02:18,160 --> 01:02:25,920
Speaker 2: for a year. Yeah. Now we live in Oregon and

1079
01:02:26,080 --> 01:02:29,160
Speaker 2: we live we live in like a duplex, so it's

1080
01:02:29,280 --> 01:02:33,320
Speaker 2: not like a giant apartment. We have like a shared backyard.

1081
01:02:34,360 --> 01:02:37,360
Speaker 2: We live less than a mile from the beach. I

1082
01:02:37,520 --> 01:02:41,720
Speaker 2: live like right on the beach, you know. I work

1083
01:02:41,760 --> 01:02:46,920
Speaker 2: at a resort as a housekeeper. And that was the

1084
01:02:46,960 --> 01:02:49,680
Speaker 2: hard thing, is you know, living that long without having

1085
01:02:49,720 --> 01:02:53,800
Speaker 2: a job or like being a part of society, and

1086
01:02:54,040 --> 01:02:58,840
Speaker 2: like that's probably some of the hardest parts. It's just yeah,

1087
01:02:59,040 --> 01:03:03,959
Speaker 2: like and I got a problem with authority, so having

1088
01:03:04,040 --> 01:03:07,919
Speaker 2: people telling me what to do, and just like it's

1089
01:03:07,960 --> 01:03:10,400
Speaker 2: hard working for money. When i'd be you know, like

1090
01:03:10,480 --> 01:03:12,640
Speaker 2: when you're on When I would live on the road,

1091
01:03:12,760 --> 01:03:14,800
Speaker 2: people would see me and they'd be like, oh, you're

1092
01:03:14,840 --> 01:03:17,960
Speaker 2: a road warrior. You're traveling. Like a lot of people

1093
01:03:18,040 --> 01:03:21,760
Speaker 2: didn't see me like a regular homeless person per se.

1094
01:03:22,000 --> 01:03:24,120
Speaker 2: You know, they would be like, oh, you're the traveler,

1095
01:03:24,200 --> 01:03:25,720
Speaker 2: you know, So they'd want to help me out because

1096
01:03:25,720 --> 01:03:28,560
Speaker 2: I'm leaving. So it's hard sometimes when it's like, yeah,

1097
01:03:28,560 --> 01:03:30,440
Speaker 2: people used to just throw money in food at me,

1098
01:03:31,640 --> 01:03:34,840
Speaker 2: but now I fucking scrub toilet's first food and money.

1099
01:03:36,680 --> 01:03:41,200
Speaker 2: But but it's worth it, man, It's word. That's all

1100
01:03:41,200 --> 01:03:43,200
Speaker 2: I got to keep telling myself is that it's worth it.

1101
01:03:43,400 --> 01:03:46,680
Speaker 2: Because you know, when I was out there on the

1102
01:03:46,760 --> 01:03:49,280
Speaker 2: road one time, this older guy told me, he said,

1103
01:03:49,640 --> 01:03:53,480
Speaker 2: you know, it's their good adventure, but it's not a

1104
01:03:53,560 --> 01:03:57,280
Speaker 2: good life. And I laughed in his face and I said,

1105
01:03:57,360 --> 01:03:59,760
Speaker 2: you're an idiot, old man, you don't know what you're

1106
01:03:59,800 --> 01:04:03,040
Speaker 2: talking talking about. And then the older I got, the

1107
01:04:03,240 --> 01:04:06,200
Speaker 2: more I realized he was right, Like it's it's not

1108
01:04:06,320 --> 01:04:10,840
Speaker 2: sustainable to live like that. Like I think everyone should,

1109
01:04:11,160 --> 01:04:14,640
Speaker 2: you know, maybe hitch like a thousand miles. Maybe you know,

1110
01:04:14,840 --> 01:04:17,480
Speaker 2: like maybe go maybe you could just take a break

1111
01:04:17,560 --> 01:04:21,160
Speaker 2: and just like rely on yourself and go have an adventure.

1112
01:04:21,320 --> 01:04:23,400
Speaker 2: But I don't think it's a good it's not a

1113
01:04:23,480 --> 01:04:27,880
Speaker 2: good life. And yeah, it took some grown up to

1114
01:04:28,000 --> 01:04:33,040
Speaker 2: kind of come to those towns, you know, m it's

1115
01:04:33,080 --> 01:04:40,120
Speaker 2: a good life, yeah man, yeah, yeah, And almost everybody

1116
01:04:40,280 --> 01:04:48,040
Speaker 2: that I knew is dead, like from alcoholism or fetanyl,

1117
01:04:49,080 --> 01:04:52,320
Speaker 2: or they're in prison, or they got cut in half

1118
01:04:52,400 --> 01:04:54,880
Speaker 2: by a train. Like there was a lot like a

1119
01:04:54,920 --> 01:04:58,040
Speaker 2: lot of people that I knew would drink a lot

1120
01:04:58,120 --> 01:05:01,440
Speaker 2: of alcohol, do heroin and go hop and then get

1121
01:05:01,480 --> 01:05:03,800
Speaker 2: their arm cut off, get their leg cut off, get

1122
01:05:03,840 --> 01:05:10,680
Speaker 2: cut in half, get paralyzed, like yeah, I got yeah.

1123
01:05:12,880 --> 01:05:15,080
Speaker 2: And the crazy thing is like I knew that I

1124
01:05:15,120 --> 01:05:18,880
Speaker 2: could die any moment out there, but I didn't really

1125
01:05:19,000 --> 01:05:21,200
Speaker 2: have I was just living to live. I didn't really

1126
01:05:21,320 --> 01:05:25,040
Speaker 2: like think about five years in the future or ten

1127
01:05:25,120 --> 01:05:26,760
Speaker 2: years in the future. It was just day to day,

1128
01:05:26,880 --> 01:05:30,000
Speaker 2: like what do I need today? What does my dog

1129
01:05:30,120 --> 01:05:33,560
Speaker 2: need today? You know, like but now and now I worry.

1130
01:05:33,680 --> 01:05:35,400
Speaker 2: But now I sit here and I think about ten

1131
01:05:35,480 --> 01:05:38,800
Speaker 2: years from now, I think about five years from now.

1132
01:05:40,960 --> 01:05:47,960
Speaker 2: It's yeah, it's a lot different. And yeah, the other

1133
01:05:48,120 --> 01:05:52,520
Speaker 2: day I saw some train hoppers here just like hang

1134
01:05:52,640 --> 01:05:55,600
Speaker 2: I was. I got off work, went to bike home

1135
01:05:55,680 --> 01:05:59,200
Speaker 2: and I seen I just start crying, and I was like,

1136
01:05:59,280 --> 01:06:02,520
Speaker 2: can I just talk cold you guys, because like they

1137
01:06:02,600 --> 01:06:04,280
Speaker 2: got up there, liked you, gonna give you a hug,

1138
01:06:04,280 --> 01:06:06,120
Speaker 2: and you're just like the random you was just hugging

1139
01:06:06,200 --> 01:06:09,120
Speaker 2: me and I'm like, like, man, I wish I could

1140
01:06:09,440 --> 01:06:13,200
Speaker 2: be still just sitting here with my dog, but at

1141
01:06:13,200 --> 01:06:16,240
Speaker 2: the same time, like I know that I have to

1142
01:06:16,360 --> 01:06:19,360
Speaker 2: be here in that part of my life's over. M

1143
01:06:19,560 --> 01:06:26,840
Speaker 2: hmmmm mm hmm. Yeah, man, I've wanted to talk to

1144
01:06:26,880 --> 01:06:27,720
Speaker 2: you for a long time.

1145
01:06:29,000 --> 01:06:33,720
Speaker 1: I'm so glad you did. Oh man, oh man, hm

1146
01:06:33,760 --> 01:06:38,640
Speaker 1: hmmm mm hmmm. So you've been with your family for

1147
01:06:40,240 --> 01:06:40,640
Speaker 1: a year.

1148
01:06:43,120 --> 01:06:44,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, it's been about a year.

1149
01:06:46,800 --> 01:06:54,600
Speaker 1: And hm hmm. How are you feeling like when you so,

1150
01:06:54,720 --> 01:06:58,040
Speaker 1: you say you haven't Uh, you're kind of new to

1151
01:06:58,160 --> 01:07:01,080
Speaker 1: thinking about the future. And when you are thinking about

1152
01:07:01,080 --> 01:07:06,720
Speaker 1: the future, what are your feelings about it? Are you excited?

1153
01:07:06,800 --> 01:07:09,240
Speaker 1: Are you nervous? Are you you know? How do you

1154
01:07:10,120 --> 01:07:11,760
Speaker 1: How do you feel when you think about the future.

1155
01:07:13,160 --> 01:07:18,840
Speaker 2: I'm excited because there's you know, like I used to

1156
01:07:18,880 --> 01:07:22,400
Speaker 2: be really suicidal, you know. I used to I just

1157
01:07:22,520 --> 01:07:25,040
Speaker 2: want to die, and now I just want to live.

1158
01:07:25,160 --> 01:07:27,080
Speaker 2: And I wish that I could go and tell myself

1159
01:07:27,640 --> 01:07:29,520
Speaker 2: in the past, like, hey, it's not always going to

1160
01:07:29,560 --> 01:07:32,840
Speaker 2: be like this. It's going to get better, you know,

1161
01:07:33,040 --> 01:07:35,640
Speaker 2: because it does. And it's hard when you're in it

1162
01:07:35,800 --> 01:07:39,040
Speaker 2: to see that. But I worry man, I worry because

1163
01:07:41,640 --> 01:07:42,400
Speaker 2: I don't. I don't.

1164
01:07:42,520 --> 01:07:43,200
Speaker 1: I don't want my.

1165
01:07:45,160 --> 01:07:47,640
Speaker 2: I work so hard, and I just want my daughter

1166
01:07:47,720 --> 01:07:49,640
Speaker 2: to like do good in life. And I don't want

1167
01:07:49,640 --> 01:07:51,400
Speaker 2: her to work as hard as I do, and like

1168
01:07:52,040 --> 01:07:54,280
Speaker 2: I wanted life to be as hard as mine is,

1169
01:07:54,640 --> 01:07:58,720
Speaker 2: and like I just worry that no matter how hard

1170
01:07:58,800 --> 01:08:02,880
Speaker 2: I try, that it's just like genetic where because we're poor,

1171
01:08:03,560 --> 01:08:05,800
Speaker 2: they're like, she's not gonna have a good chance in life,

1172
01:08:06,200 --> 01:08:08,280
Speaker 2: you know, And I know I can't think like that,

1173
01:08:08,560 --> 01:08:10,840
Speaker 2: but like, you.

1174
01:08:10,920 --> 01:08:14,959
Speaker 1: Know, well, ok, well bro, I mean we'll think about

1175
01:08:14,960 --> 01:08:19,720
Speaker 1: it like this, man, I mean, you know, well, well,

1176
01:08:19,760 --> 01:08:21,080
Speaker 1: I have a few things I want to say, but

1177
01:08:21,479 --> 01:08:25,960
Speaker 1: I want to have you. Have you seen your parents

1178
01:08:26,080 --> 01:08:29,080
Speaker 1: since you were sixteen? Have you talked to them at all?

1179
01:08:30,200 --> 01:08:33,840
Speaker 2: I went, yeah. They lived in North Carolina. And when

1180
01:08:33,840 --> 01:08:37,400
Speaker 2: I went to see my my daughter and my girlfriend,

1181
01:08:37,520 --> 01:08:41,240
Speaker 2: I just showed up. I didn't tell them I was

1182
01:08:41,320 --> 01:08:43,439
Speaker 2: coming because I had no contact with him, and I

1183
01:08:43,640 --> 01:08:47,200
Speaker 2: just showed up. And I confronted my dad with a

1184
01:08:47,280 --> 01:08:51,200
Speaker 2: lot of things. And I just really don't like the

1185
01:08:51,320 --> 01:08:53,240
Speaker 2: answer that he had for me, because I was, you know,

1186
01:08:53,360 --> 01:08:55,960
Speaker 2: I was like, dude, I was basically like, why were

1187
01:08:56,000 --> 01:09:01,120
Speaker 2: you so hard on me? Like, you know, like why

1188
01:09:01,200 --> 01:09:03,719
Speaker 2: did you just throw me around? Why did you scream

1189
01:09:03,800 --> 01:09:07,479
Speaker 2: at me? Why why were you sent me? Like? Well,

1190
01:09:07,720 --> 01:09:09,800
Speaker 2: and he's all he had to say was that his

1191
01:09:10,000 --> 01:09:12,680
Speaker 2: dad was an alcoholic and his dad was meaning him.

1192
01:09:13,640 --> 01:09:16,800
Speaker 2: He was like, that's not good enough because my dad

1193
01:09:16,960 --> 01:09:19,760
Speaker 2: was an alcoholic. My dad beat the shit out of me,

1194
01:09:19,800 --> 01:09:23,840
Speaker 2: and I don't do that to my kid, you know.

1195
01:09:24,000 --> 01:09:26,120
Speaker 2: So I just felt like it just wasn't good enough,

1196
01:09:26,479 --> 01:09:29,400
Speaker 2: like and I told him, I don't forgive you, like

1197
01:09:29,479 --> 01:09:31,960
Speaker 2: that's not but that's not good enough. That's not enough.

1198
01:09:33,560 --> 01:09:33,760
Speaker 1: Wow.

1199
01:09:34,200 --> 01:09:36,960
Speaker 2: I thought I would have closure, but it's just like

1200
01:09:39,160 --> 01:09:40,840
Speaker 2: you know, and I would tell him things like, oh,

1201
01:09:41,720 --> 01:09:44,080
Speaker 2: you know, this traumatic thing that happened in my childhood

1202
01:09:44,800 --> 01:09:47,240
Speaker 2: still affects me today. And I would tell him about it,

1203
01:09:47,240 --> 01:09:49,200
Speaker 2: and then he'd just say, oh, I don't remember that,

1204
01:09:49,640 --> 01:09:53,519
Speaker 2: Oh that didn't happen, and what do you mean it

1205
01:09:53,680 --> 01:09:56,760
Speaker 2: did happen? Like this, this is something that shaved my

1206
01:09:56,880 --> 01:10:01,519
Speaker 2: whole life and you're telling me it didn't happen. And

1207
01:10:02,040 --> 01:10:07,360
Speaker 2: you know, they're really really really like ultra evangelical Christians,

1208
01:10:07,439 --> 01:10:11,920
Speaker 2: So like all he ever says is, Oh, that's the devil.

1209
01:10:12,240 --> 01:10:15,240
Speaker 2: That's the devil in your head telling you things. Anything

1210
01:10:15,320 --> 01:10:18,799
Speaker 2: good that happens, oh that was God. Anything bad that happens,

1211
01:10:18,840 --> 01:10:22,000
Speaker 2: Oh that's the devil. That's the devil putting lines in

1212
01:10:22,120 --> 01:10:26,479
Speaker 2: your head to trick you. And it's like the ultimate

1213
01:10:26,880 --> 01:10:30,759
Speaker 2: you gotta gaslight me with some fucking demons and shit,

1214
01:10:32,760 --> 01:10:37,760
Speaker 2: you know. So it was just they basically acted like

1215
01:10:37,880 --> 01:10:39,960
Speaker 2: I died, Like they had all these pictures of me

1216
01:10:40,360 --> 01:10:43,760
Speaker 2: from when I was a kid, and just like they've

1217
01:10:43,880 --> 01:10:47,360
Speaker 2: just always been waiting, like the product the story of

1218
01:10:47,400 --> 01:10:50,280
Speaker 2: the Prodigal Sun, you know, like waiting for the son

1219
01:10:50,360 --> 01:10:52,920
Speaker 2: to just like come back. And my dad told me,

1220
01:10:53,000 --> 01:10:56,559
Speaker 2: you know, like he kept setting like timelines. Okay, by

1221
01:10:56,600 --> 01:10:58,920
Speaker 2: the time he's twenty, he'll come back and he'll have

1222
01:10:59,080 --> 01:11:01,960
Speaker 2: his share, he'll he'll have his fellow sin out there

1223
01:11:02,000 --> 01:11:04,000
Speaker 2: in the world and he'll just come back. Oh nope,

1224
01:11:04,080 --> 01:11:07,320
Speaker 2: okay by twenty two, he'll oh by twenty five. And

1225
01:11:09,120 --> 01:11:12,400
Speaker 2: I'm like, yeah, I've always been here. But I mean,

1226
01:11:12,560 --> 01:11:15,120
Speaker 2: like who I am is who I am. They just

1227
01:11:15,200 --> 01:11:20,000
Speaker 2: don't accept me for who I am. And it's okay

1228
01:11:20,080 --> 01:11:22,400
Speaker 2: to cut off your family, you know, that's what is.

1229
01:11:22,479 --> 01:11:26,880
Speaker 2: It's hard, but sometimes your family is just like it's

1230
01:11:26,960 --> 01:11:28,760
Speaker 2: better to be away from them and it's better to

1231
01:11:28,840 --> 01:11:35,040
Speaker 2: not talk to them, and it's hard, you know. Like

1232
01:11:35,240 --> 01:11:37,639
Speaker 2: like the other day, I was biking home from work

1233
01:11:37,680 --> 01:11:40,960
Speaker 2: and I saw this guy my age in a driveway

1234
01:11:41,080 --> 01:11:43,800
Speaker 2: with an older guy that looked like his dad, and

1235
01:11:43,840 --> 01:11:46,920
Speaker 2: they're sitting shooting some hoops, and I just I just

1236
01:11:47,040 --> 01:11:49,720
Speaker 2: think about I'm like, what would it be like, you know,

1237
01:11:50,040 --> 01:11:51,960
Speaker 2: to just build a thing out with my dad and

1238
01:11:52,040 --> 01:11:58,559
Speaker 2: you just like talk to him just like normal people.

1239
01:11:58,680 --> 01:12:00,360
Speaker 2: That's all I ever wanted. They just wanted to be

1240
01:12:00,439 --> 01:12:02,280
Speaker 2: a normal person having life.

1241
01:12:03,360 --> 01:12:10,240
Speaker 1: Mm hmm, well let me let me, let me let

1242
01:12:10,280 --> 01:12:13,760
Speaker 1: me I mean, well, let me tell you something, man.

1243
01:12:13,960 --> 01:12:17,880
Speaker 1: This is just from my vantage point here is like

1244
01:12:20,479 --> 01:12:24,320
Speaker 1: I can tell how uh, I can tell how deeply

1245
01:12:24,439 --> 01:12:29,400
Speaker 1: you you really really really care about your daughter, uh

1246
01:12:29,880 --> 01:12:32,519
Speaker 1: not having had it as as rough as you and

1247
01:12:32,560 --> 01:12:38,880
Speaker 1: I'm I'm I'm really really sorry that you had to

1248
01:12:40,720 --> 01:12:45,479
Speaker 1: you had it this rough. But I'll say that the

1249
01:12:46,640 --> 01:12:49,400
Speaker 1: good news is is that I know that you're like

1250
01:12:50,800 --> 01:12:53,880
Speaker 1: really anxious and worried about your daughter having a nice

1251
01:12:54,760 --> 01:12:57,559
Speaker 1: life and not having to have dealt with the things

1252
01:12:57,680 --> 01:13:02,439
Speaker 1: that you had to tear with but you're in a

1253
01:13:02,720 --> 01:13:06,479
Speaker 1: really like great position where like I mean, bro, like

1254
01:13:06,680 --> 01:13:11,320
Speaker 1: you you're fucking there, you know, like you're fucking there,

1255
01:13:11,600 --> 01:13:16,240
Speaker 1: you know, and whether or not regardless of of of

1256
01:13:17,320 --> 01:13:22,760
Speaker 1: whatever material resources you you you do or don't have,

1257
01:13:23,040 --> 01:13:26,400
Speaker 1: or your daughter, like you're you're sucking there. Man, You're

1258
01:13:26,439 --> 01:13:30,120
Speaker 1: there and you care and you love her, you know,

1259
01:13:30,640 --> 01:13:38,120
Speaker 1: and that's that's it, right, So I think that like

1260
01:13:38,400 --> 01:13:42,120
Speaker 1: I don't, I don't think you have to worry about

1261
01:13:47,479 --> 01:13:51,960
Speaker 1: whether or not your daughter is gonna feel like you

1262
01:13:52,040 --> 01:13:54,960
Speaker 1: were there for her and and and it's and it's nice, man,

1263
01:13:55,520 --> 01:13:59,200
Speaker 1: it's it's like, it fucking sucks ship that your your

1264
01:13:59,400 --> 01:14:01,880
Speaker 1: dad came back to you with like, oh well my

1265
01:14:02,040 --> 01:14:03,920
Speaker 1: dad was like this and his dad was like that.

1266
01:14:04,000 --> 01:14:06,280
Speaker 1: I'm sure his fucking dad was. And I'm sure you're

1267
01:14:06,520 --> 01:14:09,760
Speaker 1: a part of a fucking long cycle of like you know,

1268
01:14:13,760 --> 01:14:17,640
Speaker 1: absentinis and it's like it's fucking sucks shit. And I

1269
01:14:17,840 --> 01:14:20,400
Speaker 1: I really I'm sorry. I feel your pain that you

1270
01:14:21,040 --> 01:14:24,720
Speaker 1: are a part of that cycle. But you have this

1271
01:14:25,360 --> 01:14:27,599
Speaker 1: I'm not even gonna say opportunity because it's it's something

1272
01:14:27,640 --> 01:14:29,639
Speaker 1: you're doing. It's not even an opportunity. It's just it's

1273
01:14:29,760 --> 01:14:32,800
Speaker 1: it's your life, you know, it's it's it's it's embodied

1274
01:14:32,840 --> 01:14:36,920
Speaker 1: and expressed by the decisions that you've made to be

1275
01:14:37,040 --> 01:14:45,040
Speaker 1: there with your kid where you're doing this really tremendously powerful, beautiful,

1276
01:14:45,080 --> 01:14:49,160
Speaker 1: amazing thing, where you're breaking the cycle because you're fucking

1277
01:14:49,240 --> 01:14:53,240
Speaker 1: there for your daughter. You know, you got you get

1278
01:14:53,320 --> 01:14:55,560
Speaker 1: in the car and you're going to the spring and

1279
01:14:55,640 --> 01:14:58,880
Speaker 1: you're filling up water, you know, like you're fucking there,

1280
01:14:59,360 --> 01:15:04,479
Speaker 1: you know. So again, I'm I'm really I'm really sorry

1281
01:15:04,560 --> 01:15:08,080
Speaker 1: that you, like I can feel that you feel a

1282
01:15:08,120 --> 01:15:11,000
Speaker 1: lot of pain at being part of the cycle. But uh, brother,

1283
01:15:11,040 --> 01:15:15,800
Speaker 1: I'm I'm very very proud of you and very I

1284
01:15:16,320 --> 01:15:20,920
Speaker 1: deeply deeply commend you for breaking the cycle and being

1285
01:15:21,000 --> 01:15:23,479
Speaker 1: there for your daughter and giving a ship and going

1286
01:15:23,600 --> 01:15:26,680
Speaker 1: back and you know and being here. And I and

1287
01:15:26,840 --> 01:15:30,360
Speaker 1: I hope that you know, I know from what you've

1288
01:15:30,400 --> 01:15:35,200
Speaker 1: expressed that you've had a lot of you know, self image,

1289
01:15:36,240 --> 01:15:40,519
Speaker 1: uh problems, and I and I really hope and I really,

1290
01:15:41,160 --> 01:15:47,360
Speaker 1: uh I want you to understand that, like, bro, you're

1291
01:15:47,520 --> 01:15:49,320
Speaker 1: like you're you're beautiful, you know, like it's it's a

1292
01:15:49,439 --> 01:15:53,920
Speaker 1: beautiful thing that you're you're. I I don't even want

1293
01:15:53,920 --> 01:15:56,160
Speaker 1: to say doing. It's like you're it's like you're living it.

1294
01:15:57,240 --> 01:15:59,320
Speaker 1: Uh And and I hope you feel good. I hope

1295
01:15:59,320 --> 01:16:00,840
Speaker 1: that makes you feel good. I hope that makes you,

1296
01:16:01,520 --> 01:16:05,000
Speaker 1: uh sleep easy at night when when you're when you're

1297
01:16:05,040 --> 01:16:07,519
Speaker 1: in the house with your family, with your daughter, that

1298
01:16:07,680 --> 01:16:11,479
Speaker 1: you're you're there and uh I and life gets hard

1299
01:16:11,520 --> 01:16:13,479
Speaker 1: and you sometimes you try to do shit and it

1300
01:16:13,520 --> 01:16:16,719
Speaker 1: doesn't always work, but like you're trying, you know, you're.

1301
01:16:16,600 --> 01:16:17,080
Speaker 2: Not just like.

1302
01:16:19,920 --> 01:16:22,280
Speaker 1: Doing what your dad did, like your your dad came

1303
01:16:22,360 --> 01:16:23,760
Speaker 1: back to you man with it, with the yeah, with

1304
01:16:23,800 --> 01:16:25,760
Speaker 1: the bullshit excuse of like, well my dad was like

1305
01:16:25,840 --> 01:16:27,800
Speaker 1: this and that that that that fucked you up and

1306
01:16:27,880 --> 01:16:31,000
Speaker 1: you and you know you could have easily done that

1307
01:16:31,120 --> 01:16:33,760
Speaker 1: to your daughter, but you didn't because you're because you're

1308
01:16:34,200 --> 01:16:39,560
Speaker 1: because you're a fucking because you're a great guy. So

1309
01:16:39,880 --> 01:16:42,640
Speaker 1: I I uh, I hope I hope you recognize that

1310
01:16:42,680 --> 01:16:45,439
Speaker 1: about yourself and and that you feel that and you

1311
01:16:45,600 --> 01:16:49,080
Speaker 1: understand that, and you let that be a thing that

1312
01:16:49,880 --> 01:16:53,040
Speaker 1: lets you live your life a little bit lighter and

1313
01:16:53,200 --> 01:17:01,160
Speaker 1: a little bit less anxious and heavy. That you understand

1314
01:17:01,240 --> 01:17:06,120
Speaker 1: that you're you're doing all the right stuff and that you,

1315
01:17:06,280 --> 01:17:09,000
Speaker 1: and you and you and you don't don't beat yourself

1316
01:17:09,080 --> 01:17:12,200
Speaker 1: up if everything doesn't go fucking perfectly, you know.

1317
01:17:13,840 --> 01:17:19,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, trouble is I think when when things are going

1318
01:17:19,200 --> 01:17:21,720
Speaker 2: really good, I'm just always worried that they're about to

1319
01:17:21,800 --> 01:17:24,960
Speaker 2: fall apart. And I think, I think that's just that's

1320
01:17:24,960 --> 01:17:27,320
Speaker 2: something I got to work through, you know. I'm always

1321
01:17:27,360 --> 01:17:29,720
Speaker 2: like like like when things are good, I'm like, oh no,

1322
01:17:30,720 --> 01:17:34,280
Speaker 2: you know, I'm like, oh no, what's what's gonna happen?

1323
01:17:34,360 --> 01:17:37,840
Speaker 2: And then nothing happens. I think that it's just it's

1324
01:17:38,000 --> 01:17:38,920
Speaker 2: just it's just me.

1325
01:17:42,160 --> 01:17:45,320
Speaker 1: You said your daughter is seven, now, yeah, she's.

1326
01:17:45,120 --> 01:17:48,559
Speaker 2: About to be. Yeah, she's almost seven to start first grade?

1327
01:17:49,640 --> 01:17:56,000
Speaker 1: Cool, how's she doing? Like, what's what's she? What's she into?

1328
01:17:56,160 --> 01:17:59,320
Speaker 1: What's her? What's her? How's she doing?

1329
01:18:01,200 --> 01:18:06,080
Speaker 2: She's doing good? I just she is struggling in school already,

1330
01:18:06,840 --> 01:18:09,000
Speaker 2: and I see a lot of myself and her, and

1331
01:18:10,040 --> 01:18:11,720
Speaker 2: I just, yeah, I just want her to do good

1332
01:18:11,800 --> 01:18:14,760
Speaker 2: in school. But she and I mean, the problems that

1333
01:18:14,880 --> 01:18:17,320
Speaker 2: she has is like what I think would be normal.

1334
01:18:17,439 --> 01:18:21,519
Speaker 2: She just like wants to be a kid. She wants

1335
01:18:21,560 --> 01:18:23,759
Speaker 2: to do what she wants to do, and she has trouble,

1336
01:18:23,920 --> 01:18:28,400
Speaker 2: like listening to authority and like following structure and guide

1337
01:18:28,439 --> 01:18:31,240
Speaker 2: and you know, they're just trying to put her into

1338
01:18:31,280 --> 01:18:33,479
Speaker 2: the meat grinder of school. You know how, you know,

1339
01:18:33,840 --> 01:18:36,120
Speaker 2: you either stit or you don't. So I feel like,

1340
01:18:38,360 --> 01:18:40,599
Speaker 2: like I like that she can socialize with other kids

1341
01:18:40,600 --> 01:18:43,439
Speaker 2: because that was something I missed out on. You know,

1342
01:18:43,560 --> 01:18:45,960
Speaker 2: I didn't really get to have friends or socialize with

1343
01:18:46,040 --> 01:18:50,360
Speaker 2: people my own age, So I think that's important for her.

1344
01:18:50,439 --> 01:18:53,840
Speaker 2: But yeah, she I mean, at this stage, she's just

1345
01:18:54,040 --> 01:19:01,680
Speaker 2: like obsessed with like cats and legos and uh, we

1346
01:19:01,800 --> 01:19:07,240
Speaker 2: have pet roly polis, which is pretty cool. Most people

1347
01:19:07,360 --> 01:19:09,360
Speaker 2: are like, what what do you mean? You have petroly

1348
01:19:09,680 --> 01:19:14,479
Speaker 2: like little isopods, little roly pulleys. We have like there's

1349
01:19:14,560 --> 01:19:17,320
Speaker 2: like a community of people that keep like exotic ones

1350
01:19:17,400 --> 01:19:21,719
Speaker 2: that have different colors, and we have like white ones

1351
01:19:21,920 --> 01:19:25,559
Speaker 2: with yellow and black spots, and we have zebra ones

1352
01:19:25,600 --> 01:19:30,280
Speaker 2: that are black with white stripes. And I don't know.

1353
01:19:30,439 --> 01:19:32,320
Speaker 2: When I was a kid, I was really into bugs

1354
01:19:32,360 --> 01:19:34,559
Speaker 2: and shit, and dude, if my dad had to show

1355
01:19:34,720 --> 01:19:37,280
Speaker 2: any interest in anything that I like like that, that

1356
01:19:37,360 --> 01:19:42,600
Speaker 2: would have been huge. So yeah, we live in like

1357
01:19:43,400 --> 01:19:46,880
Speaker 2: a tiny town with a lot of like trees, and

1358
01:19:47,040 --> 01:19:49,560
Speaker 2: forests and stuff around. So I take her out on

1359
01:19:49,680 --> 01:19:54,439
Speaker 2: hikes and go on hikes and I try to teach her.

1360
01:19:54,520 --> 01:19:57,439
Speaker 2: We feed the crows. There's crow met here. We'll go

1361
01:19:57,600 --> 01:19:59,720
Speaker 2: feed the crows together, and I try to teach her

1362
01:20:00,080 --> 01:20:03,960
Speaker 2: know to respect nature and all life is valuable, even

1363
01:20:04,000 --> 01:20:08,479
Speaker 2: if it's small, its life still has value, you know.

1364
01:20:08,720 --> 01:20:12,679
Speaker 2: So we go rock hound. I bring her to look

1365
01:20:12,720 --> 01:20:16,519
Speaker 2: for fossils. There's like certain areas near us where you

1366
01:20:16,520 --> 01:20:18,920
Speaker 2: can find a lot of like marine fossils, like shells

1367
01:20:18,960 --> 01:20:25,800
Speaker 2: and stuff. Who go and do that. He likes wearing

1368
01:20:25,880 --> 01:20:30,160
Speaker 2: little cat ears and cat tails, and it's just funny

1369
01:20:30,200 --> 01:20:32,760
Speaker 2: with people. What is she intellect? She's into cats, so like,

1370
01:20:32,840 --> 01:20:36,160
Speaker 2: I don't know, she really likes cats.

1371
01:20:36,840 --> 01:20:44,240
Speaker 1: That sounds appropriate for a seven year old. Yeah, you

1372
01:20:44,320 --> 01:20:45,519
Speaker 1: sound you sound like a great dad.

1373
01:20:45,600 --> 01:20:45,760
Speaker 2: Man.

1374
01:20:46,240 --> 01:20:47,920
Speaker 1: You're doing all this great stuff.

1375
01:20:49,240 --> 01:20:53,280
Speaker 2: Try man, I try. I just tried. And my dad,

1376
01:20:53,400 --> 01:20:56,320
Speaker 2: my dad saw his wife and his children his property,

1377
01:20:56,840 --> 01:20:59,200
Speaker 2: you know, like like they were like they were a

1378
01:20:59,400 --> 01:21:02,080
Speaker 2: dresser or a night stand, you know, like they were

1379
01:21:02,160 --> 01:21:05,479
Speaker 2: his things that he could do with thatever he wanted,

1380
01:21:05,560 --> 01:21:07,720
Speaker 2: because they're his, you know. And I try to I

1381
01:21:07,880 --> 01:21:10,120
Speaker 2: treat my girlfriend and my daughter like through their own

1382
01:21:10,200 --> 01:21:13,800
Speaker 2: individual people. And you know, she tells me how I

1383
01:21:13,840 --> 01:21:16,160
Speaker 2: don't want to hug you right now. Okay, well I

1384
01:21:16,200 --> 01:21:18,400
Speaker 2: don't want to do that. You know. I treat her

1385
01:21:18,479 --> 01:21:22,640
Speaker 2: like she's a person, you know, I ask her, I

1386
01:21:22,760 --> 01:21:24,519
Speaker 2: try and talk to her like a human being. And

1387
01:21:26,320 --> 01:21:28,160
Speaker 2: you know, that's one thing I never understood is I

1388
01:21:28,240 --> 01:21:32,920
Speaker 2: told my dad, you know, like, my life's been really hard, man,

1389
01:21:33,000 --> 01:21:36,000
Speaker 2: my life's been I've been struggling, and he just told me, oh,

1390
01:21:36,240 --> 01:21:39,840
Speaker 2: my life was hard too, And he just kind of

1391
01:21:39,920 --> 01:21:42,760
Speaker 2: has that mentality of like, oh, if my life was hard,

1392
01:21:43,240 --> 01:21:46,000
Speaker 2: your life should be hard because it'll build character or whatever.

1393
01:21:46,280 --> 01:21:49,240
Speaker 2: Like no one helped me, why should anyone help you.

1394
01:21:49,439 --> 01:21:52,000
Speaker 2: But I'm under the impression. I'm like I think of

1395
01:21:52,080 --> 01:21:55,000
Speaker 2: it like you're supposed to make it easier on the

1396
01:21:55,120 --> 01:21:58,320
Speaker 2: next generation. So the next drink becomes more educated and

1397
01:21:58,439 --> 01:22:00,599
Speaker 2: their life is a lot easier. In the next air,

1398
01:22:00,800 --> 01:22:03,960
Speaker 2: they're even more educated, and they have they make more money,

1399
01:22:04,000 --> 01:22:07,080
Speaker 2: and they're like, it's easy. You're not supposed to make

1400
01:22:07,160 --> 01:22:09,960
Speaker 2: it harder on the next generation because it was hard

1401
01:22:10,000 --> 01:22:11,600
Speaker 2: for you and it was hard for your dad. Like

1402
01:22:12,479 --> 01:22:16,720
Speaker 2: that's just going nowhere. So I my parents were really

1403
01:22:16,760 --> 01:22:19,280
Speaker 2: young when they had me too, So I try, like

1404
01:22:19,360 --> 01:22:21,479
Speaker 2: I try to look in perspective, like my parents were

1405
01:22:21,560 --> 01:22:25,320
Speaker 2: sixteen when they had me, So it's kind of crazy

1406
01:22:25,400 --> 01:22:27,800
Speaker 2: to think, like when I left home, my parents were

1407
01:22:27,880 --> 01:22:29,800
Speaker 2: like my age, and it's hard to think of like

1408
01:22:30,880 --> 01:22:33,760
Speaker 2: why was my dad such an asshole so young? Like

1409
01:22:33,840 --> 01:22:36,640
Speaker 2: why was he such a dick so young? Like he like,

1410
01:22:37,840 --> 01:22:41,000
Speaker 2: I don't know, it's just it's hard to think, like, oh, dude,

1411
01:22:41,000 --> 01:22:44,679
Speaker 2: he was like twenty two being that much of an asshole,

1412
01:22:45,640 --> 01:22:50,920
Speaker 2: Like come on, man, you know I was supposed to

1413
01:22:50,960 --> 01:22:53,560
Speaker 2: make it harder on the next generation. We're supposed to

1414
01:22:53,600 --> 01:22:58,240
Speaker 2: make it easier. Build generational wealth, build heal generational trauma.

1415
01:23:03,240 --> 01:23:05,040
Speaker 2: Do you do you?

1416
01:23:05,600 --> 01:23:10,000
Speaker 1: I know it's uh maybe maybe it's hard to do,

1417
01:23:10,120 --> 01:23:12,840
Speaker 1: but for whatever reason, but do you you know, I

1418
01:23:13,200 --> 01:23:18,519
Speaker 1: hope you acknowledge yourself as uh uh having a lot

1419
01:23:18,640 --> 01:23:22,600
Speaker 1: of power and strength. Again, like I've been saying, to

1420
01:23:24,960 --> 01:23:28,880
Speaker 1: form your own beliefs about how this ship should go

1421
01:23:29,080 --> 01:23:29,560
Speaker 1: and live it.

1422
01:23:31,960 --> 01:23:35,720
Speaker 2: Yeah. I feel like a lot of people just like, oh,

1423
01:23:35,920 --> 01:23:40,280
Speaker 2: they're my parents, this is how things are. But you know,

1424
01:23:41,479 --> 01:23:43,800
Speaker 2: I've always been like, no, yeah, I'm gonna make my

1425
01:23:43,880 --> 01:23:47,240
Speaker 2: own past. You know, if they're not gonna treat me right,

1426
01:23:47,280 --> 01:23:49,240
Speaker 2: I'm gonna go make my own past. I'm gonna go

1427
01:23:49,320 --> 01:23:53,439
Speaker 2: make my own family traditions. I'm gonna just because you're

1428
01:23:54,040 --> 01:23:56,639
Speaker 2: your family is toxic, just because of your family doesn't

1429
01:23:56,640 --> 01:23:58,880
Speaker 2: mean you have to put up with it, you know,

1430
01:23:59,040 --> 01:24:01,160
Speaker 2: like you can set boundaries, you can be like, no,

1431
01:24:01,280 --> 01:24:03,320
Speaker 2: I'm not going to be treated like that. My daughter's

1432
01:24:03,360 --> 01:24:06,400
Speaker 2: not going to be treated like that. We're not going

1433
01:24:06,479 --> 01:24:09,280
Speaker 2: to live like that. So it is. It does. It

1434
01:24:09,400 --> 01:24:14,400
Speaker 2: does take a lot of strength. And that's kind of

1435
01:24:14,479 --> 01:24:16,320
Speaker 2: like what I learned from being on the road for

1436
01:24:16,479 --> 01:24:19,840
Speaker 2: so long is like I had that sense, you know,

1437
01:24:19,920 --> 01:24:23,080
Speaker 2: I look around, I look behind me, nobody's there. I

1438
01:24:23,200 --> 01:24:26,679
Speaker 2: look around nobody nobody knew if I had food, nobody

1439
01:24:26,720 --> 01:24:28,880
Speaker 2: knew if I had sheltered nobody knew if I had clothes,

1440
01:24:28,960 --> 01:24:32,960
Speaker 2: only me, only me. I got myself there. So I

1441
01:24:33,000 --> 01:24:36,360
Speaker 2: feel like that strength I continue now because I'm like, oh,

1442
01:24:37,120 --> 01:24:41,960
Speaker 2: I know I can do it, and it is. Yeah.

1443
01:24:41,960 --> 01:24:44,000
Speaker 2: I feel I feel like I had pulled myself out

1444
01:24:44,080 --> 01:24:49,000
Speaker 2: from under the sidewalk, you know, like I started with

1445
01:24:49,240 --> 01:24:51,600
Speaker 2: less than nothing. Because I feel like I'm catching up

1446
01:24:51,640 --> 01:24:53,559
Speaker 2: to a lot of people my age, But I try

1447
01:24:53,640 --> 01:24:57,120
Speaker 2: not to compare myself too much because I'll start feeling

1448
01:24:57,160 --> 01:25:00,960
Speaker 2: about like, oh, like when will I ever own a house?

1449
01:25:01,040 --> 01:25:05,640
Speaker 2: When will I? You know this or that? But not

1450
01:25:05,800 --> 01:25:09,240
Speaker 2: everybody starts at the same spot, you know what I mean, Like,

1451
01:25:10,520 --> 01:25:14,559
Speaker 2: not every not everybody starts at go some people start

1452
01:25:15,400 --> 01:25:15,960
Speaker 2: behind me.

1453
01:25:18,120 --> 01:25:18,439
Speaker 1: M m.

1454
01:25:19,240 --> 01:25:21,519
Speaker 2: It's not fair to compare yourself to it. Even if

1455
01:25:21,600 --> 01:25:23,519
Speaker 2: someone's the same age. It's not fair to compare yourself

1456
01:25:23,560 --> 01:25:27,160
Speaker 2: because not everybody had the same opportunities, you know.

1457
01:25:29,080 --> 01:25:37,920
Speaker 1: Hmm, you know, I uh, I actually don't know if

1458
01:25:38,720 --> 01:25:47,160
Speaker 1: I ever caught your name, Steve, Steve, Steve, hm, hmm.

1459
01:25:48,760 --> 01:25:49,040
Speaker 2: How do you?

1460
01:25:49,600 --> 01:25:51,280
Speaker 1: I have a lot of questions for you.

1461
01:25:51,760 --> 01:25:52,400
Speaker 2: How do you? Uh?

1462
01:25:54,600 --> 01:25:56,799
Speaker 1: How do you feel? Having talked about all this stuff

1463
01:25:58,280 --> 01:26:01,920
Speaker 1: for the last let's see, almost hour and a half.

1464
01:26:03,560 --> 01:26:06,120
Speaker 2: Well, I didn't realize though, Well, I mean, I feel

1465
01:26:06,520 --> 01:26:08,880
Speaker 2: I feel better. I feel like I got some stuff

1466
01:26:08,920 --> 01:26:12,600
Speaker 2: off my chest. I feel better just talking about it.

1467
01:26:12,640 --> 01:26:16,920
Speaker 2: I've been yeah, a long time listener, first time called yeah.

1468
01:26:17,040 --> 01:26:20,920
Speaker 2: I mean, I've listened for so I it kind of

1469
01:26:21,000 --> 01:26:24,040
Speaker 2: helps me. I like listening so much to your show

1470
01:26:24,160 --> 01:26:28,519
Speaker 2: because it helps me not think about my own problems

1471
01:26:28,560 --> 01:26:31,280
Speaker 2: sometimes like listen to other people's problems and kind of

1472
01:26:31,320 --> 01:26:34,080
Speaker 2: helps me put it in perspective. You know, everybody's got

1473
01:26:34,160 --> 01:26:36,720
Speaker 2: different things going on. You never know what someone's got

1474
01:26:36,920 --> 01:26:39,719
Speaker 2: going on, you know, you just see them in that moment,

1475
01:26:41,240 --> 01:26:43,240
Speaker 2: and that that's all. That's all the reference you have.

1476
01:26:43,479 --> 01:26:46,080
Speaker 2: So I like, yeah, just hearing people's stories, hearing what

1477
01:26:46,160 --> 01:26:50,200
Speaker 2: people are going through, you know, any day. Like I've

1478
01:26:50,320 --> 01:26:53,519
Speaker 2: thought about it so much, like what would I talk about?

1479
01:26:53,560 --> 01:26:55,800
Speaker 2: What would I say? And yeah, I mean I got

1480
01:26:55,840 --> 01:27:00,920
Speaker 2: a lot to say, but it just came naturally once

1481
01:27:00,960 --> 01:27:03,320
Speaker 2: I started talking. Yeah, you're very easy to talk to you,

1482
01:27:03,720 --> 01:27:05,439
Speaker 2: you know, once I started talking, you just.

1483
01:27:07,240 --> 01:27:10,640
Speaker 1: You know, Brah, have you ever thought about, uh, have

1484
01:27:10,760 --> 01:27:15,200
Speaker 1: you ever thought about like writing a book or a

1485
01:27:15,439 --> 01:27:20,639
Speaker 1: memoir or a I'm sure I mean after I mean,

1486
01:27:20,760 --> 01:27:23,880
Speaker 1: I mean, I'll tell you this and this has got

1487
01:27:24,040 --> 01:27:26,439
Speaker 1: to be I mean, I've been doing this show for

1488
01:27:26,560 --> 01:27:29,000
Speaker 1: five years. This has got to be one of one

1489
01:27:29,040 --> 01:27:32,639
Speaker 1: of my favorite conversations I think I've ever had doing

1490
01:27:32,720 --> 01:27:36,480
Speaker 1: this show. It's uh, I mean, it's it's it's it's fascinating.

1491
01:27:36,560 --> 01:27:36,680
Speaker 3: Man.

1492
01:27:36,680 --> 01:27:40,679
Speaker 1: You're really really good at you know, telling your story.

1493
01:27:42,439 --> 01:27:44,840
Speaker 1: Have you ever I mean, after twelve fucking years of

1494
01:27:45,680 --> 01:27:48,160
Speaker 1: riding trains. You must have so many stories. Have you

1495
01:27:48,200 --> 01:27:52,600
Speaker 1: ever thought about like doings? I mean, you know, I

1496
01:27:52,680 --> 01:27:55,720
Speaker 1: mean it's awesome. I really appreciate you, uh coming on

1497
01:27:55,840 --> 01:27:58,200
Speaker 1: here and and and telling your story because I think

1498
01:27:58,240 --> 01:28:04,840
Speaker 1: it's I think it's fucking and incredible. Have you ever

1499
01:28:04,920 --> 01:28:08,600
Speaker 1: thought about writing a memoir or even like doing you know,

1500
01:28:08,720 --> 01:28:12,840
Speaker 1: a little YouTube things or anything like that. I don't

1501
01:28:12,880 --> 01:28:15,040
Speaker 1: know why that's where my brain goes, but I just

1502
01:28:16,320 --> 01:28:19,519
Speaker 1: I just like, I love I love your stories. You've

1503
01:28:19,560 --> 01:28:21,120
Speaker 1: lived in a wild life.

1504
01:28:23,479 --> 01:28:26,240
Speaker 2: I have thought about it, and I've had I've even

1505
01:28:26,320 --> 01:28:29,760
Speaker 2: had different people reach out to me asking if they

1506
01:28:29,840 --> 01:28:34,040
Speaker 2: could make something with me about it, or nothing ever

1507
01:28:34,120 --> 01:28:39,880
Speaker 2: really panned forward with it. I write poetry sometimes I

1508
01:28:40,040 --> 01:28:43,599
Speaker 2: do write like in a journal when I write things,

1509
01:28:44,600 --> 01:28:47,479
Speaker 2: but I've never tried to organize it. I gave you

1510
01:28:47,680 --> 01:28:53,720
Speaker 2: like the short version of everything. I'm sure, yeah, yeah, yeah,

1511
01:28:53,800 --> 01:28:58,160
Speaker 2: I would like to just so it's not lost, just

1512
01:28:58,160 --> 01:29:02,479
Speaker 2: because I do like sharing my story and I feel like, yeah,

1513
01:29:02,520 --> 01:29:05,120
Speaker 2: there's other people that maybe could take use, you know,

1514
01:29:05,200 --> 01:29:09,040
Speaker 2: maybe they're going through really hard time. They don't. When

1515
01:29:09,080 --> 01:29:11,639
Speaker 2: you're in something, you don't see how it could get better.

1516
01:29:12,120 --> 01:29:13,720
Speaker 2: You know that. That's the thing is like when you're

1517
01:29:13,840 --> 01:29:16,320
Speaker 2: going through it, you don't see how it could possibly

1518
01:29:16,400 --> 01:29:21,280
Speaker 2: get any better different, you know, and it gets overwhelming.

1519
01:29:22,520 --> 01:29:25,960
Speaker 2: But think things really do take wild turns. You can

1520
01:29:26,080 --> 01:29:28,519
Speaker 2: change your life. You know, Like a few years ago,

1521
01:29:28,520 --> 01:29:30,240
Speaker 2: I would have thought for sure, you know, I'm gonna

1522
01:29:30,280 --> 01:29:32,240
Speaker 2: I'm gonna die outside on the side of the road

1523
01:29:32,320 --> 01:29:36,679
Speaker 2: somewhere and now here I am, I'm you know, so yeah,

1524
01:29:37,880 --> 01:29:40,920
Speaker 2: I uh, I don't even know where I would start,

1525
01:29:42,800 --> 01:29:45,920
Speaker 2: you know. I. I guess I should think about it more.

1526
01:29:46,960 --> 01:29:51,160
Speaker 2: But do you do you do you do?

1527
01:29:51,240 --> 01:29:54,519
Speaker 1: You do you if like it's it's okay, it's okay

1528
01:29:54,600 --> 01:29:57,040
Speaker 1: if not, and you know, if you want if you

1529
01:29:57,520 --> 01:30:00,679
Speaker 1: if you want to make something, well, I was gonna

1530
01:30:00,680 --> 01:30:04,439
Speaker 1: ask you do you have do you do you post

1531
01:30:04,520 --> 01:30:06,840
Speaker 1: anything anyway? I know you said you write poems? Right,

1532
01:30:06,880 --> 01:30:09,240
Speaker 1: do you do you post anything anywhere? Like if if

1533
01:30:09,360 --> 01:30:13,360
Speaker 1: people who are listening to this wanted to keep up

1534
01:30:13,400 --> 01:30:15,880
Speaker 1: with you or anything like that, if that's something you want.

1535
01:30:16,439 --> 01:30:19,640
Speaker 1: You know, not you don't have to feel obligated to,

1536
01:30:19,920 --> 01:30:22,920
Speaker 1: but if that was something you want, do you have

1537
01:30:23,120 --> 01:30:25,040
Speaker 1: a thing that anyone listening to this?

1538
01:30:26,080 --> 01:30:26,240
Speaker 2: Uh?

1539
01:30:27,240 --> 01:30:29,439
Speaker 1: I want to catch up with you on I.

1540
01:30:29,520 --> 01:30:31,840
Speaker 2: Mean, I used to get quite a bit of traction

1541
01:30:32,000 --> 01:30:37,160
Speaker 2: on Reddit and Instagram, and I just like I got

1542
01:30:37,240 --> 01:30:39,559
Speaker 2: rid of it. I deleted every I don't. It's kind

1543
01:30:39,600 --> 01:30:45,040
Speaker 2: of crazy because yeah, man, I I completely hopped off

1544
01:30:45,600 --> 01:30:48,280
Speaker 2: social media because it was not doing so good for

1545
01:30:48,400 --> 01:30:49,120
Speaker 2: my mental health.

1546
01:30:49,240 --> 01:30:50,400
Speaker 1: Like I understand that too.

1547
01:30:50,560 --> 01:30:55,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, Like I I don't have Reddit, Facebook, Instagram, Snap,

1548
01:30:55,240 --> 01:30:57,080
Speaker 2: none of those on my phone. I don't use any

1549
01:30:57,120 --> 01:31:00,800
Speaker 2: of those. And like when I got rid of them, dude,

1550
01:31:00,880 --> 01:31:03,679
Speaker 2: my thumb would go and click on the empty space

1551
01:31:03,720 --> 01:31:06,760
Speaker 2: where those apps used to be. Like like anytime I

1552
01:31:06,840 --> 01:31:09,120
Speaker 2: had my I had a down moment, my thumb would

1553
01:31:09,160 --> 01:31:13,559
Speaker 2: just go to click those empty spaces at one. Yeah,

1554
01:31:13,680 --> 01:31:16,680
Speaker 2: I used to like, you know, yeah, I just I

1555
01:31:17,080 --> 01:31:20,840
Speaker 2: don't right now. It would be awesome because I wish

1556
01:31:20,880 --> 01:31:23,240
Speaker 2: I could show you some pictures, Uh, show you some

1557
01:31:23,360 --> 01:31:27,519
Speaker 2: pictures riding trains and stuff. Well, yeah, people used to.

1558
01:31:27,760 --> 01:31:30,000
Speaker 2: I felt it was kind of a debating thing when

1559
01:31:30,040 --> 01:31:33,360
Speaker 2: I deleted everything. I thought about it for a long time.

1560
01:31:33,680 --> 01:31:35,840
Speaker 2: I have a lot of the photos and videos saved.

1561
01:31:36,040 --> 01:31:38,880
Speaker 1: But well, well well let me let me let me

1562
01:31:38,960 --> 01:31:41,120
Speaker 1: tell you that if you if you ever do well,

1563
01:31:41,240 --> 01:31:44,120
Speaker 1: if and you again no pressure to ever, you know,

1564
01:31:44,680 --> 01:31:47,040
Speaker 1: do anything, because I also I also understand why people,

1565
01:31:47,760 --> 01:31:50,120
Speaker 1: you know, I mean, we had the I remember, I

1566
01:31:50,160 --> 01:31:52,360
Speaker 1: don't know if you heard this episode, but we talked

1567
01:31:52,400 --> 01:31:54,280
Speaker 1: to the guy a little bit of a similar story

1568
01:31:54,280 --> 01:31:56,280
Speaker 1: to yours who went to go live in a cave

1569
01:31:56,439 --> 01:31:58,400
Speaker 1: in the tenery violence.

1570
01:31:59,280 --> 01:31:59,479
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1571
01:31:59,760 --> 01:32:03,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. And he he started Instagram. But

1572
01:32:03,640 --> 01:32:05,479
Speaker 1: then I think he was kind of like, I want

1573
01:32:05,520 --> 01:32:07,479
Speaker 1: to stay offline, but it's up to you. But I

1574
01:32:07,600 --> 01:32:11,280
Speaker 1: just wanted to say, if you ever want to, uh,

1575
01:32:11,680 --> 01:32:14,439
Speaker 1: you know, do something, you can always I don't know

1576
01:32:14,439 --> 01:32:17,519
Speaker 1: if you have me on Instagram or whatever, but I

1577
01:32:17,840 --> 01:32:21,040
Speaker 1: check my dms and ships. So if you ever want

1578
01:32:21,080 --> 01:32:24,120
Speaker 1: to send me an email, or if you ever want

1579
01:32:24,640 --> 01:32:27,360
Speaker 1: to start posting anything or whatever, you can send me

1580
01:32:27,439 --> 01:32:30,160
Speaker 1: a d M or an email and I'll shout it

1581
01:32:30,240 --> 01:32:32,439
Speaker 1: out on you know, one of one of the future

1582
01:32:32,479 --> 01:32:36,320
Speaker 1: episodes of the podcast or on Instagram or something. So

1583
01:32:36,439 --> 01:32:38,800
Speaker 1: you know, invitation is open if you ever think about

1584
01:32:38,840 --> 01:32:41,479
Speaker 1: it and you want to start doing something like that.

1585
01:32:42,720 --> 01:32:43,800
Speaker 2: I appreciate this.

1586
01:32:44,160 --> 01:32:46,559
Speaker 1: I also wanted to, uh, you know, I'm live. We're

1587
01:32:46,600 --> 01:32:49,960
Speaker 1: live on twitch right now. If it's cool, I guess

1588
01:32:50,000 --> 01:32:52,920
Speaker 1: I'm you know, before we go, I could ask the

1589
01:32:52,960 --> 01:32:56,120
Speaker 1: twitch chat if they have any uh questions they want

1590
01:32:56,120 --> 01:32:56,519
Speaker 1: to ask you?

1591
01:32:56,680 --> 01:33:00,160
Speaker 2: Is that yah? Yeah? Yeah, I closed the chat when

1592
01:33:00,200 --> 01:33:01,600
Speaker 2: I when I when I answered the.

1593
01:33:01,680 --> 01:33:06,160
Speaker 1: Call, So I'm it's okay. I'll I'll give it the

1594
01:33:06,200 --> 01:33:11,960
Speaker 1: twitch chat a second to write some questions and I'll pick.

1595
01:33:13,840 --> 01:33:17,599
Speaker 1: I'll pick some stuff we have. One person said, tell

1596
01:33:17,720 --> 01:33:24,960
Speaker 1: Steve he is awesome. Keep doing what he's doing. A

1597
01:33:25,040 --> 01:33:28,519
Speaker 1: little pig boy says what was his favorite state from

1598
01:33:28,600 --> 01:33:29,559
Speaker 1: going coast to coast?

1599
01:33:30,520 --> 01:33:37,720
Speaker 2: Oh? Man, Really, it's hard to pick the I have

1600
01:33:37,920 --> 01:33:44,440
Speaker 2: like a top three. My top three is Colorado, Montana,

1601
01:33:44,560 --> 01:33:49,360
Speaker 2: and Oregon. But it's really hard for me to pick

1602
01:33:49,400 --> 01:33:52,840
Speaker 2: a pick. Like I love Colorado, but I also really

1603
01:33:52,960 --> 01:33:56,519
Speaker 2: love the ocean. I love the mountains. I love the

1604
01:33:56,720 --> 01:33:59,920
Speaker 2: nature of the forest. But yeah, like Montana, Oregon, call

1605
01:34:00,000 --> 01:34:04,680
Speaker 2: Colorado or just like the southeast never really hit my

1606
01:34:04,880 --> 01:34:08,160
Speaker 2: vibe that well, Like I went there a bunch, you know,

1607
01:34:08,280 --> 01:34:12,160
Speaker 2: it's just never really felt it, you know. But in

1608
01:34:12,360 --> 01:34:17,240
Speaker 2: like Montana, oh my gosh, fucking beautiful. You just open

1609
01:34:17,360 --> 01:34:21,200
Speaker 2: sky is beautiful. The people there are cool. Like I

1610
01:34:21,240 --> 01:34:23,400
Speaker 2: could just walk into a town and just be like, hey,

1611
01:34:23,479 --> 01:34:26,400
Speaker 2: I need work. I need a job, and I'd find like, oh,

1612
01:34:27,200 --> 01:34:30,000
Speaker 2: so and so down at the furnire stores renovating, you know,

1613
01:34:30,160 --> 01:34:32,840
Speaker 2: like it was like like people are always really cool

1614
01:34:32,960 --> 01:34:37,080
Speaker 2: up there. Oh I like the land up there. Yeah, Montana,

1615
01:34:37,600 --> 01:34:40,120
Speaker 2: Oregon and Colorado is my favorite, for sure.

1616
01:34:46,200 --> 01:34:50,880
Speaker 1: Someone wants to know, Uh, what was the other if

1617
01:34:50,920 --> 01:34:55,280
Speaker 1: you had any other, Like what the other scariest encounter

1618
01:34:55,640 --> 01:35:00,960
Speaker 1: was besides almost getting caught by the rail worker.

1619
01:35:03,320 --> 01:35:05,559
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I mean that was just the very first

1620
01:35:05,680 --> 01:35:12,599
Speaker 2: train I ever got on. I mean there was times. Yeah,

1621
01:35:12,640 --> 01:35:15,839
Speaker 2: I mean I got taken to jail twice for riding trains.

1622
01:35:16,000 --> 01:35:17,800
Speaker 2: But I used to tell people, you know, if you're

1623
01:35:17,840 --> 01:35:21,599
Speaker 2: scared to go to jail, don't ride trains, because that's

1624
01:35:21,640 --> 01:35:23,200
Speaker 2: not the worst thing that can happen. The worst thing

1625
01:35:23,240 --> 01:35:27,160
Speaker 2: I can even fucking die, you know what I mean. So, uh,

1626
01:35:28,520 --> 01:35:30,920
Speaker 2: that's not the scariest thing. I mean, I've had people

1627
01:35:30,960 --> 01:35:35,800
Speaker 2: I've been robbed at gunpoint, like had I literally just peeple.

1628
01:35:35,840 --> 01:35:37,720
Speaker 2: I'm like, man, I'm not gonna get shot over there.

1629
01:35:37,920 --> 01:35:39,559
Speaker 2: Like you know, like I've had people be like, oh

1630
01:35:39,640 --> 01:35:42,120
Speaker 2: what do we didn't do anything, and it's like, bro,

1631
01:35:42,320 --> 01:35:44,400
Speaker 2: you do what you want. To get shot over your

1632
01:35:44,479 --> 01:35:47,800
Speaker 2: fucking backpack, but you want to fucking die, you know,

1633
01:35:48,080 --> 01:35:53,760
Speaker 2: and it's not worth it, really, I bet yeah. I

1634
01:35:53,880 --> 01:35:56,920
Speaker 2: had the one time this guy with a machete. I

1635
01:35:57,040 --> 01:35:59,040
Speaker 2: was sitting there with this kid that'd never hopped a train.

1636
01:35:59,120 --> 01:36:00,680
Speaker 2: That was one of my favorite things to do is

1637
01:36:00,800 --> 01:36:04,960
Speaker 2: bring people that never rode trains Ryan trains, because I

1638
01:36:05,080 --> 01:36:07,480
Speaker 2: love to just look in their face, you know, when

1639
01:36:07,520 --> 01:36:09,640
Speaker 2: you start going and you just look at them and

1640
01:36:09,840 --> 01:36:13,639
Speaker 2: you can see that glint in their eye and it's just, yeah,

1641
01:36:13,680 --> 01:36:17,120
Speaker 2: it's magical. And this guy with a machete was just

1642
01:36:17,240 --> 01:36:20,840
Speaker 2: like walking around us all tweaked out on myth and

1643
01:36:20,920 --> 01:36:23,519
Speaker 2: he's just like, oh, you know how many of you

1644
01:36:23,720 --> 01:36:26,240
Speaker 2: are there? And I told I was like, oh, there's

1645
01:36:26,240 --> 01:36:28,360
Speaker 2: about four or five of us at the liquor store

1646
01:36:28,400 --> 01:36:31,160
Speaker 2: right now. And then he like walked away. And the

1647
01:36:31,600 --> 01:36:34,640
Speaker 2: greenhorn when you're new to something like Ryan trains to

1648
01:36:34,720 --> 01:36:37,240
Speaker 2: call them greenhorns. He was like, man, why'd you say

1649
01:36:37,320 --> 01:36:39,200
Speaker 2: that there was more of us? And I was like, bro,

1650
01:36:39,360 --> 01:36:40,920
Speaker 2: that guy does not need to know that it's just

1651
01:36:41,040 --> 01:36:45,280
Speaker 2: me and you down here, because we're like, I mean,

1652
01:36:45,360 --> 01:36:48,080
Speaker 2: that's the hardest thing is like getting off the train,

1653
01:36:49,280 --> 01:36:52,160
Speaker 2: because then you've got the cops fucking with you. You

1654
01:36:52,320 --> 01:36:55,639
Speaker 2: got people all kinds of crazy, tweaked out homeless people

1655
01:36:55,720 --> 01:36:58,880
Speaker 2: fucking with you, you know what I mean, Like you're

1656
01:36:58,960 --> 01:37:01,280
Speaker 2: just trying to get some food and water and supplies

1657
01:37:01,360 --> 01:37:05,000
Speaker 2: and go. So that was like the hardest part. I mean,

1658
01:37:05,000 --> 01:37:09,280
Speaker 2: I almost died riding trains now that I mean that

1659
01:37:09,400 --> 01:37:11,680
Speaker 2: will still give me nightmares, Like I still wake up

1660
01:37:11,800 --> 01:37:17,880
Speaker 2: sometimes with nightmares from that. I almost died of dehydration,

1661
01:37:19,840 --> 01:37:22,439
Speaker 2: and it was, I mean, it got It was so serious.

1662
01:37:22,479 --> 01:37:26,720
Speaker 2: I was having auditory and visual hallucinations just from dehydration,

1663
01:37:28,040 --> 01:37:30,600
Speaker 2: and my press real vision was gone. It was like

1664
01:37:31,240 --> 01:37:33,519
Speaker 2: someone was holding their hands over my eyes, like it

1665
01:37:33,600 --> 01:37:35,599
Speaker 2: was all black all around my eyes and I could

1666
01:37:35,640 --> 01:37:38,720
Speaker 2: only see right in front of me. I basically I

1667
01:37:38,800 --> 01:37:43,120
Speaker 2: hopped onto a coal train and I thought it was

1668
01:37:43,200 --> 01:37:44,960
Speaker 2: going one way, but we ended up going towards a

1669
01:37:45,040 --> 01:37:49,160
Speaker 2: coal mine and we sided out. So the train stopped

1670
01:37:49,720 --> 01:37:51,519
Speaker 2: and I was on an empty coal train and I

1671
01:37:51,600 --> 01:37:54,479
Speaker 2: look and there's a what I thought was a full

1672
01:37:54,560 --> 01:37:57,240
Speaker 2: train loaded with coal. So I got off and got

1673
01:37:57,280 --> 01:37:58,920
Speaker 2: on that one because I'm like, oh, this loaded coal

1674
01:37:59,000 --> 01:38:02,320
Speaker 2: is gonna leave, and mind you, it's over one hundred degrees.

1675
01:38:02,320 --> 01:38:06,160
Speaker 2: It's like one hundred and eight degrees. And the next

1676
01:38:06,240 --> 01:38:08,960
Speaker 2: day we're still there. And I walked to the front

1677
01:38:08,960 --> 01:38:10,479
Speaker 2: of the train, walk to the back of the train.

1678
01:38:10,560 --> 01:38:14,479
Speaker 2: There's no engines. It's just a string of coal in

1679
01:38:14,560 --> 01:38:17,000
Speaker 2: the middle of nowhere. And I look all around. There's

1680
01:38:17,040 --> 01:38:20,200
Speaker 2: no bushes, there's no trees, there's no shade, there's no

1681
01:38:20,439 --> 01:38:23,320
Speaker 2: power lines, there's no pupp of smoke. I'm like out

1682
01:38:23,400 --> 01:38:28,080
Speaker 2: in the open planes, just on this string of loaded coal.

1683
01:38:30,120 --> 01:38:34,000
Speaker 2: And I run out of water quick and at one

1684
01:38:34,040 --> 01:38:38,120
Speaker 2: point I started walking away and then I was like no.

1685
01:38:38,320 --> 01:38:39,920
Speaker 2: I was like, I need to go back to the train,

1686
01:38:39,960 --> 01:38:41,880
Speaker 2: because they're not just going to leave a loaded coal

1687
01:38:41,960 --> 01:38:45,640
Speaker 2: train there forever. They'll eventually come back for it. And

1688
01:38:45,760 --> 01:38:47,280
Speaker 2: I was like, if I just walk where am I

1689
01:38:47,320 --> 01:38:49,200
Speaker 2: walking to it? Ut to the horizon, I'm gonna die.

1690
01:38:49,280 --> 01:38:51,720
Speaker 2: So I walked back to the string of trains and

1691
01:38:53,000 --> 01:38:54,760
Speaker 2: did I tell the story to people and they're like, man,

1692
01:38:54,840 --> 01:38:57,559
Speaker 2: you probably drank your piss, huh. And I'm like, dude,

1693
01:38:57,600 --> 01:39:00,960
Speaker 2: I was so dehydrated I couldn't piss. Like I was trapped.

1694
01:39:01,040 --> 01:39:03,400
Speaker 2: One point, I had my dog bowl and I was

1695
01:39:03,479 --> 01:39:05,400
Speaker 2: trying to pee into the dog bowl to drink it.

1696
01:39:05,439 --> 01:39:09,200
Speaker 2: And I couldn't even pee anything there was. I couldn't

1697
01:39:09,200 --> 01:39:11,320
Speaker 2: even it was so bad, I couldn't even piss. And

1698
01:39:11,360 --> 01:39:15,000
Speaker 2: then like I'm hearing voices, I'm hearing people laughing at me,

1699
01:39:15,760 --> 01:39:20,000
Speaker 2: mocking my condition. I'm seeing like shadow people running in

1700
01:39:20,040 --> 01:39:23,920
Speaker 2: front of my vision, and like I thought I was

1701
01:39:24,040 --> 01:39:28,400
Speaker 2: gonna die, gag. I had came to peace with my

1702
01:39:28,600 --> 01:39:31,000
Speaker 2: leg I was like, this is it, this is my

1703
01:39:31,120 --> 01:39:34,840
Speaker 2: last train. I fucked up. I'm gonna die, this is it,

1704
01:39:35,640 --> 01:39:39,840
Speaker 2: and I had I was so out of it that

1705
01:39:39,960 --> 01:39:42,559
Speaker 2: I thought I was cold, and I had every layer

1706
01:39:42,640 --> 01:39:45,320
Speaker 2: of clothing on me. So they eventually did come for

1707
01:39:45,479 --> 01:39:51,640
Speaker 2: the train, and the railroad workers saved my life. I

1708
01:39:51,760 --> 01:39:53,479
Speaker 2: was in and out of consciousness. I was going in

1709
01:39:53,560 --> 01:39:56,720
Speaker 2: and out of consciousness, and I it was over one

1710
01:39:56,760 --> 01:39:59,240
Speaker 2: hundred degrees and I had every article. I had my

1711
01:39:59,400 --> 01:40:02,600
Speaker 2: thermal un to wear on, I had my being on,

1712
01:40:03,000 --> 01:40:05,280
Speaker 2: I had my hoodie on, I had my jacket, I

1713
01:40:05,360 --> 01:40:08,479
Speaker 2: had everything on because I thought I was freezing. I

1714
01:40:08,960 --> 01:40:12,439
Speaker 2: thought it was freezing cold. And they found me. They

1715
01:40:12,520 --> 01:40:17,519
Speaker 2: brought me the hospital. They fucking but yeah, man, every

1716
01:40:17,600 --> 01:40:19,840
Speaker 2: day since then's been extra for me, I've been like

1717
01:40:19,920 --> 01:40:24,320
Speaker 2: every day since. Then's an extra. That was my first

1718
01:40:24,520 --> 01:40:26,800
Speaker 2: first couple of years Ryan trains, and it happened because

1719
01:40:26,800 --> 01:40:29,840
Speaker 2: I was arrogant and coffee and I just thought I

1720
01:40:29,880 --> 01:40:31,840
Speaker 2: could get on and off whenever I wanted. I was like,

1721
01:40:31,920 --> 01:40:34,040
Speaker 2: I'm in control, you know. But you went to know

1722
01:40:34,200 --> 01:40:37,519
Speaker 2: that the trains in control. There's no such thing as

1723
01:40:37,560 --> 01:40:40,360
Speaker 2: the wrong train. You just went a way you didn't

1724
01:40:40,360 --> 01:40:42,160
Speaker 2: want to go. You know, the trains goes where the

1725
01:40:42,200 --> 01:40:47,519
Speaker 2: train goes. But dude, I'll wake up like screaming for

1726
01:40:47,720 --> 01:40:52,519
Speaker 2: water and shit gets bad. I'll feel like I'm still

1727
01:40:52,680 --> 01:40:56,280
Speaker 2: there on that cold train, fucking with no water. I

1728
01:40:56,400 --> 01:40:59,559
Speaker 2: had food, I had weed, I had everything except water.

1729
01:41:00,160 --> 01:41:00,599
Speaker 1: Mm hmm.

1730
01:41:02,360 --> 01:41:04,280
Speaker 2: I know it was probably a longer answer than you were.

1731
01:41:04,880 --> 01:41:04,920
Speaker 4: No.

1732
01:41:05,400 --> 01:41:08,679
Speaker 2: No, no, no, no no no. Yeah. It's real out there, man.

1733
01:41:08,800 --> 01:41:11,600
Speaker 2: It's like like people will ask me, oh, what's the

1734
01:41:11,640 --> 01:41:13,040
Speaker 2: worst thing that happened to you out there? And then

1735
01:41:13,080 --> 01:41:14,639
Speaker 2: when I tell them, I can just see the look

1736
01:41:14,680 --> 01:41:16,720
Speaker 2: in their faith they like they didn't really expect it

1737
01:41:16,760 --> 01:41:21,479
Speaker 2: to be that deep. I'm like, the highs are really high.

1738
01:41:21,960 --> 01:41:24,679
Speaker 2: The lows are like I've seen the worst that humanity

1739
01:41:24,760 --> 01:41:26,679
Speaker 2: has to offer, but I've also seen the best.

1740
01:41:27,479 --> 01:41:29,599
Speaker 1: Well like that kind of actually, well, what you're saying

1741
01:41:29,600 --> 01:41:33,360
Speaker 1: actually brings me into the next question that somebody asked that.

1742
01:41:34,280 --> 01:41:34,400
Speaker 2: Uh.

1743
01:41:35,120 --> 01:41:40,519
Speaker 1: I'm also a little bit curious about as someone said.

1744
01:41:44,960 --> 01:41:48,160
Speaker 1: Basically they were like, you know, someone in the chat

1745
01:41:48,280 --> 01:41:50,800
Speaker 1: was like, I want to get into hopping trains. How

1746
01:41:50,840 --> 01:41:53,400
Speaker 1: should I get into it? But I want to ask you, uh,

1747
01:41:54,120 --> 01:41:56,439
Speaker 1: you know, in light of a comment like that, like

1748
01:41:57,000 --> 01:42:01,479
Speaker 1: after everything, if somebody came to you and said, I

1749
01:42:01,560 --> 01:42:03,519
Speaker 1: want to start hopping trains, how should I get into it?

1750
01:42:03,880 --> 01:42:07,960
Speaker 1: Would you recommend that they that they that they that

1751
01:42:08,040 --> 01:42:09,759
Speaker 1: they start, that they go on the journey.

1752
01:42:11,200 --> 01:42:14,680
Speaker 2: I don't regret it at all. Man, it was the

1753
01:42:14,760 --> 01:42:16,800
Speaker 2: best thing I could have made, that choice could go.

1754
01:42:17,120 --> 01:42:19,120
Speaker 2: But it's not for everybody. And I used to tell

1755
01:42:19,160 --> 01:42:22,160
Speaker 2: people out there, you know, like if you've got somewhere

1756
01:42:22,200 --> 01:42:24,600
Speaker 2: to go back to, if you got people that love you,

1757
01:42:24,720 --> 01:42:27,200
Speaker 2: if you've got a family, if you got a support system,

1758
01:42:27,240 --> 01:42:29,320
Speaker 2: if you got good for you will eventually go home.

1759
01:42:30,320 --> 01:42:33,160
Speaker 2: You know, like like there's no ifans there, but if

1760
01:42:33,160 --> 01:42:35,800
Speaker 2: you've got that support system, eventually you'll go home because

1761
01:42:35,800 --> 01:42:39,760
Speaker 2: you'll get tired of being hungry, cold, fucking whatever, you know,

1762
01:42:39,920 --> 01:42:44,519
Speaker 2: But this whole time, ain't Lots of people have asked

1763
01:42:44,560 --> 01:42:47,240
Speaker 2: me this question and I always tell them the same thing.

1764
01:42:47,360 --> 01:42:51,320
Speaker 2: You cannot learn how to do this by watching YouTube videos.

1765
01:42:51,360 --> 01:42:54,080
Speaker 2: You cannot learn how to just do You will die.

1766
01:42:54,520 --> 01:42:57,800
Speaker 2: You will fucking die. Like the only way that I

1767
01:42:57,960 --> 01:43:01,880
Speaker 2: recommend anybody get into this, and it's hard to do this,

1768
01:43:02,040 --> 01:43:04,400
Speaker 2: but it's to find someone that knows what they're doing

1769
01:43:04,439 --> 01:43:07,160
Speaker 2: and is already doing it, you know what I mean?

1770
01:43:07,280 --> 01:43:09,600
Speaker 2: Like that, like that can show you, hey, if you

1771
01:43:09,680 --> 01:43:12,479
Speaker 2: step there, you don't want to step there, because when

1772
01:43:12,560 --> 01:43:14,800
Speaker 2: the train buckles, your foot will get caught and you

1773
01:43:14,840 --> 01:43:18,679
Speaker 2: will fucking die, you know. Like like there's just certain things,

1774
01:43:19,439 --> 01:43:21,960
Speaker 2: like it goes beyond just getting on the train, hiding

1775
01:43:22,080 --> 01:43:26,280
Speaker 2: and getting off the train. Like you know, there's shipping facilities.

1776
01:43:26,360 --> 01:43:28,479
Speaker 2: Your train could get pulled into a shipping facility and

1777
01:43:28,560 --> 01:43:31,720
Speaker 2: all of a sudden you're surrounded by barbed wire and

1778
01:43:31,840 --> 01:43:35,000
Speaker 2: watch towers and they're fucking yanking all the cargo containers

1779
01:43:35,040 --> 01:43:36,320
Speaker 2: off the train with cranes.

1780
01:43:37,360 --> 01:43:37,560
Speaker 1: You know.

1781
01:43:37,800 --> 01:43:41,000
Speaker 2: They they got railroad police that won't arrest you. They'll

1782
01:43:41,040 --> 01:43:43,559
Speaker 2: take a box cutter and cut the straps of your backpack.

1783
01:43:43,960 --> 01:43:46,160
Speaker 2: Leave you there with a backpack you can't wear, take

1784
01:43:46,160 --> 01:43:48,120
Speaker 2: your sleeping bag, cut your sleeping bag up, leave you

1785
01:43:48,200 --> 01:43:53,519
Speaker 2: there like that. Uh, it's if you're gonna do it,

1786
01:43:53,880 --> 01:43:55,800
Speaker 2: you gotta go with somebody. And the best way to

1787
01:43:55,880 --> 01:43:59,160
Speaker 2: meet I think the best way to meet someone like

1788
01:43:59,240 --> 01:44:02,680
Speaker 2: that is, like I said those Rainbow gatherings in the

1789
01:44:02,720 --> 01:44:06,400
Speaker 2: beginning of my story that I was talking about, you

1790
01:44:06,560 --> 01:44:09,320
Speaker 2: go to enough Rainbow. You're gonna meet some train hoppers

1791
01:44:10,200 --> 01:44:12,240
Speaker 2: and they might not like you at first day. You

1792
01:44:12,320 --> 01:44:14,960
Speaker 2: know what, the first train hoppers I've ever very met

1793
01:44:15,760 --> 01:44:19,360
Speaker 2: made fun of me because I was a hitchhiker and

1794
01:44:19,439 --> 01:44:22,040
Speaker 2: train hoppers think hitchhikers are stupid.

1795
01:44:24,760 --> 01:44:28,639
Speaker 1: But that's a very interesting, Uh, that's a very weird rivalry.

1796
01:44:28,720 --> 01:44:29,920
Speaker 1: I never even thought about that.

1797
01:44:30,960 --> 01:44:35,280
Speaker 2: Well, dude, dude out there, like there's like cast systems almost,

1798
01:44:35,439 --> 01:44:38,479
Speaker 2: you know what I mean, Like like like the train

1799
01:44:38,560 --> 01:44:43,160
Speaker 2: hoppers think that they're better than the people that drive

1800
01:44:43,200 --> 01:44:44,960
Speaker 2: around in cars and putting cars, and they think that

1801
01:44:45,000 --> 01:44:48,200
Speaker 2: they're better than like the hitchhikers. And also the people

1802
01:44:48,280 --> 01:44:51,080
Speaker 2: we call them home bums, the people that are just

1803
01:44:51,840 --> 01:44:54,240
Speaker 2: homeless in one town and don't go anywhere and don't

1804
01:44:54,280 --> 01:44:56,639
Speaker 2: do anything like we kind of hold it. We won't

1805
01:44:56,680 --> 01:44:59,200
Speaker 2: hang out with those people usually like you know what

1806
01:44:59,280 --> 01:45:01,679
Speaker 2: I mean, it's like, uh knows in the air. Fuck

1807
01:45:01,760 --> 01:45:05,200
Speaker 2: you get away from me, because you're the reason everybody

1808
01:45:05,320 --> 01:45:07,479
Speaker 2: hates us is because you're just sitting here in one

1809
01:45:07,600 --> 01:45:11,439
Speaker 2: spot making a miss. You know. But any train hopper

1810
01:45:11,520 --> 01:45:14,720
Speaker 2: that tells you he doesn't hitchhike is a liar. You've

1811
01:45:14,720 --> 01:45:17,320
Speaker 2: got to hitchhike when you're Ryan train. Eventually you're gonna

1812
01:45:17,320 --> 01:45:20,479
Speaker 2: have You're gonna have to hitchhike. But yeah, you know,

1813
01:45:20,640 --> 01:45:23,040
Speaker 2: train hoppers are like, oh, why would you just stand

1814
01:45:23,080 --> 01:45:25,400
Speaker 2: there with your thumb ow? You can just fucking ride freight.

1815
01:45:25,560 --> 01:45:28,400
Speaker 2: But like Ryan frays, not for any but everybody. Like,

1816
01:45:29,360 --> 01:45:31,960
Speaker 2: when it's hot, it's hot. When it's cold, it's cool.

1817
01:45:32,000 --> 01:45:34,320
Speaker 2: I've rode trains in negative ten, and i rode trains

1818
01:45:34,360 --> 01:45:39,920
Speaker 2: in one hundred and ten. I'd rather ride in negative

1819
01:45:39,960 --> 01:45:43,400
Speaker 2: ten than one hundred and ten, honestly, which surprises a

1820
01:45:43,439 --> 01:45:48,519
Speaker 2: lot of people. But yeah, when when it's negative ten,

1821
01:45:48,920 --> 01:45:51,800
Speaker 2: if you got the right gear, you're fine. But one

1822
01:45:51,880 --> 01:45:56,280
Speaker 2: hundred and ten there is no right gear. Like you're

1823
01:45:56,360 --> 01:46:01,000
Speaker 2: on a fucking piece of metal, no shade that the

1824
01:46:01,080 --> 01:46:03,760
Speaker 2: metal is hot as fuck. It's like burning up. You

1825
01:46:03,960 --> 01:46:07,880
Speaker 2: touch it at all, and you're yeah, so I'd much

1826
01:46:08,000 --> 01:46:12,200
Speaker 2: rather ride and negative can. But and it's never the

1827
01:46:12,280 --> 01:46:14,920
Speaker 2: answer people want to hear. No one ever wants to hear. Oh,

1828
01:46:15,080 --> 01:46:19,559
Speaker 2: go find a train hopper and fucking get bullied by

1829
01:46:19,680 --> 01:46:23,439
Speaker 2: them and like either greenhorn and carry their water and

1830
01:46:23,560 --> 01:46:26,599
Speaker 2: stuff and go and learn the ropes. But really, that's

1831
01:46:26,640 --> 01:46:29,800
Speaker 2: how you do it and keep your limbs, you know,

1832
01:46:30,080 --> 01:46:34,799
Speaker 2: like you gotta find somebody, you gotta get caught the waves,

1833
01:46:34,920 --> 01:46:39,560
Speaker 2: because you can't just watch some YouTube videos and be

1834
01:46:39,720 --> 01:46:46,160
Speaker 2: like I'm gonna do it. It's just too dangerous. Hitch hiking. Yeah,

1835
01:46:46,240 --> 01:46:50,200
Speaker 2: go out hitchhiking, and fucking you'll run into people. Man

1836
01:46:50,320 --> 01:46:51,880
Speaker 2: Like when I went out, I didn't know that people

1837
01:46:52,040 --> 01:46:54,120
Speaker 2: lived out there doing that. I didn't know that there

1838
01:46:54,200 --> 01:46:59,200
Speaker 2: was like a whole subculture of people just like by choice,

1839
01:46:59,320 --> 01:47:01,880
Speaker 2: living out there on the road with their backpack. When

1840
01:47:01,920 --> 01:47:04,599
Speaker 2: I went out, I had no idea. So like, that's

1841
01:47:04,600 --> 01:47:06,200
Speaker 2: the best way to get into it. Just go out

1842
01:47:06,240 --> 01:47:08,519
Speaker 2: here chiking, Go to some rainbow gatherings, go to the

1843
01:47:08,600 --> 01:47:12,160
Speaker 2: gem shows, go to the Tucson gem Show. Check out something,

1844
01:47:12,280 --> 01:47:14,880
Speaker 2: go to hardly strictly, do you know, like you go

1845
01:47:15,120 --> 01:47:18,360
Speaker 2: places where the culture is and you'll meet people, you know.

1846
01:47:21,320 --> 01:47:28,360
Speaker 1: M hmmm, Steve, this has been I said it again,

1847
01:47:28,439 --> 01:47:30,599
Speaker 1: but I you know, I mean, I'm sorry I said

1848
01:47:30,640 --> 01:47:31,960
Speaker 1: it before, but I'll say it again. Yeah, this is

1849
01:47:32,080 --> 01:47:34,919
Speaker 1: this has been. Yeah, one of my you know, favorite

1850
01:47:36,000 --> 01:47:38,720
Speaker 1: conversations that I've had doing this. I would say, I

1851
01:47:38,840 --> 01:47:42,360
Speaker 1: really appreciate you sharing your story. I'm like, you know,

1852
01:47:42,479 --> 01:47:45,920
Speaker 1: I I know that you haven't had the chat open,

1853
01:47:46,040 --> 01:47:48,080
Speaker 1: but there's a lot of people in the chat who

1854
01:47:48,160 --> 01:47:51,600
Speaker 1: are just you know, uh, giving you your flowers on

1855
01:47:52,000 --> 01:47:55,360
Speaker 1: you know, uh getting to where you are from where

1856
01:47:55,360 --> 01:47:58,400
Speaker 1: you've been and you know, doing you and being you.

1857
01:47:58,520 --> 01:48:01,200
Speaker 1: So I hope, uh helpe you recognize that you got

1858
01:48:01,240 --> 01:48:02,280
Speaker 1: a lot of support out there.

1859
01:48:03,560 --> 01:48:04,560
Speaker 2: I appreciate that.

1860
01:48:04,800 --> 01:48:04,960
Speaker 4: You know.

1861
01:48:05,200 --> 01:48:07,280
Speaker 2: I don't got enough people in my life telling me

1862
01:48:07,479 --> 01:48:09,719
Speaker 2: I'm doing a good job, you know, like so sometimes

1863
01:48:09,800 --> 01:48:15,280
Speaker 2: the reference is out of sight for me because I'm like, oh, yeah,

1864
01:48:15,320 --> 01:48:16,880
Speaker 2: I appreciate that, bro.

1865
01:48:17,080 --> 01:48:21,280
Speaker 1: Yeah. I again, everyone in this chat is like really

1866
01:48:21,400 --> 01:48:25,000
Speaker 1: really really supportive, and you know, I hope I don't

1867
01:48:25,040 --> 01:48:30,640
Speaker 1: what do I hm hm hmmm, this, I don't I

1868
01:48:30,680 --> 01:48:34,280
Speaker 1: don't know how there's some guy commented being like, I

1869
01:48:34,400 --> 01:48:37,200
Speaker 1: can help you tell your story if you want to

1870
01:48:38,320 --> 01:48:39,840
Speaker 1: tell it. I don't know, I got I'd let you

1871
01:48:39,920 --> 01:48:42,720
Speaker 1: know here. I'll do this because I know that, like

1872
01:48:42,880 --> 01:48:44,840
Speaker 1: I I I already said this, but I'll say it

1873
01:48:44,880 --> 01:48:49,040
Speaker 1: again if you want to. You know, I don't know

1874
01:48:49,080 --> 01:48:50,920
Speaker 1: if you have me on Instagram or you have me

1875
01:48:51,000 --> 01:48:54,280
Speaker 1: on whatever, but if you want to create some form

1876
01:48:54,400 --> 01:48:58,240
Speaker 1: of line of communication for anyone who hears this to

1877
01:48:58,960 --> 01:49:01,080
Speaker 1: get in touch with you, you can hit me up

1878
01:49:01,360 --> 01:49:04,040
Speaker 1: and I'll figure out a way to Yeah.

1879
01:49:04,080 --> 01:49:08,600
Speaker 2: I only listen to the Spotify Okay, I mean I

1880
01:49:08,720 --> 01:49:12,240
Speaker 2: have an email and I have Blue Sky, but yeah,

1881
01:49:12,280 --> 01:49:12,920
Speaker 2: that's about it.

1882
01:49:13,760 --> 01:49:15,439
Speaker 1: You can, I mean, you can drop your email if

1883
01:49:15,479 --> 01:49:17,880
Speaker 1: you want, you know, if you if you I'm sure,

1884
01:49:18,000 --> 01:49:20,599
Speaker 1: I'm I'm like one hundred percent sure that there will

1885
01:49:20,640 --> 01:49:22,040
Speaker 1: be people who want to get in touch with you

1886
01:49:22,120 --> 01:49:23,880
Speaker 1: after this, and if that's something you're open to, you're

1887
01:49:23,880 --> 01:49:25,720
Speaker 1: totally welcome to drop your email on here.

1888
01:49:26,680 --> 01:49:29,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, I like talk. Like I said in

1889
01:49:29,240 --> 01:49:31,080
Speaker 2: the beginning, man, I'm one of those people I can

1890
01:49:31,200 --> 01:49:34,240
Speaker 2: just walk up to anybody and start talking to them.

1891
01:49:34,400 --> 01:49:36,160
Speaker 2: So it does help me to talk to people and

1892
01:49:36,320 --> 01:49:38,479
Speaker 2: just you know, so my email is kind of long,

1893
01:49:39,520 --> 01:49:44,280
Speaker 2: but there's no like all right, So it's trip Trap

1894
01:49:45,479 --> 01:49:49,160
Speaker 2: tramp trash at gmail dot com.

1895
01:49:49,560 --> 01:49:53,960
Speaker 1: Okay, trip t r I p t r I p

1896
01:49:55,240 --> 01:49:55,680
Speaker 1: t r.

1897
01:49:55,800 --> 01:50:02,160
Speaker 5: A p so trip trap, trip trap tramp p r

1898
01:50:02,320 --> 01:50:07,719
Speaker 5: A M p mm HM trash, trip trap tramp trash.

1899
01:50:07,840 --> 01:50:10,880
Speaker 2: That's that was my full name on the road that

1900
01:50:11,000 --> 01:50:14,040
Speaker 2: I gave myself was trip Trap tramp Trash, trip.

1901
01:50:14,120 --> 01:50:16,559
Speaker 1: Trap tramp trash at gmail.

1902
01:50:17,520 --> 01:50:19,200
Speaker 2: Yes at gmail dot com.

1903
01:50:19,560 --> 01:50:24,639
Speaker 1: Okay, trip trap tramp trash at gmail dot com.

1904
01:50:25,120 --> 01:50:29,080
Speaker 2: Okay, no underscores or dots or anything. Yeah, just all

1905
01:50:29,200 --> 01:50:29,800
Speaker 2: under case.

1906
01:50:30,479 --> 01:50:33,720
Speaker 1: Yeah man, trap tramp trash. Yeah, let me know if

1907
01:50:35,320 --> 01:50:37,880
Speaker 1: me I'm curious if people reach out to you, that'd

1908
01:50:37,920 --> 01:50:39,360
Speaker 1: be cool, that'd be cool.

1909
01:50:39,479 --> 01:50:43,599
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, we'll see how this goes. I don't get

1910
01:50:43,600 --> 01:50:44,120
Speaker 2: too any of you.

1911
01:50:47,479 --> 01:50:50,680
Speaker 1: Steve Man. Once again, dude, thank you. This is this

1912
01:50:50,760 --> 01:50:52,880
Speaker 1: is this actually might be the longest phone call I've

1913
01:50:53,040 --> 01:50:57,000
Speaker 1: had on this show. At How long is this? Like

1914
01:50:57,080 --> 01:51:00,880
Speaker 1: fucking we've been going for on for almost two hours?

1915
01:51:00,960 --> 01:51:02,280
Speaker 1: I really I appreciate your time.

1916
01:51:02,320 --> 01:51:02,479
Speaker 4: Man.

1917
01:51:02,560 --> 01:51:05,760
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for uh for for getting on

1918
01:51:05,880 --> 01:51:08,720
Speaker 1: here with me and telling your story. It was super fascinating.

1919
01:51:08,800 --> 01:51:13,320
Speaker 1: It was uh and dude, I wish you the best

1920
01:51:13,360 --> 01:51:16,920
Speaker 1: of luck. I think you're doing a fucking great job

1921
01:51:18,479 --> 01:51:20,439
Speaker 1: being a father, being there for your kid, making the

1922
01:51:20,479 --> 01:51:22,599
Speaker 1: decisions you got to make to be there for your family.

1923
01:51:22,920 --> 01:51:26,600
Speaker 1: I think you're doing awesome. I'm excited for you for

1924
01:51:26,720 --> 01:51:31,040
Speaker 1: the future. And you know, thanks, thanks again for your time, man,

1925
01:51:31,120 --> 01:51:34,280
Speaker 1: Thanks for thanks for chat with us. I'm sure I'm

1926
01:51:34,320 --> 01:51:35,920
Speaker 1: sure a lot of people will listen to this and

1927
01:51:36,720 --> 01:51:41,599
Speaker 1: you know, gain some form of camaraderie if they themselves

1928
01:51:41,680 --> 01:51:46,240
Speaker 1: feel like they're not doing so hot. Is there anything

1929
01:51:46,280 --> 01:51:47,720
Speaker 1: else you want to say to the people of the

1930
01:51:47,800 --> 01:51:48,720
Speaker 1: computer before we go?

1931
01:51:50,320 --> 01:51:53,760
Speaker 2: Just keep going. You know you got it. Even if

1932
01:51:53,840 --> 01:51:56,320
Speaker 2: you can't see it. There's light at the end of

1933
01:51:56,360 --> 01:51:59,760
Speaker 2: the tunnel. You'll get through it. Just because you can't

1934
01:51:59,760 --> 01:52:02,479
Speaker 2: see it now, it doesn't even it's not there. You

1935
01:52:02,560 --> 01:52:04,479
Speaker 2: know that. That's probably the biggest thing. And I know

1936
01:52:04,600 --> 01:52:07,600
Speaker 2: it's hard to see it when you're in it, but

1937
01:52:07,760 --> 01:52:10,720
Speaker 2: you just keep going. You just keep you just persevere,

1938
01:52:11,240 --> 01:52:15,679
Speaker 2: you know, like we're all gonna die anyway. You only

1939
01:52:15,720 --> 01:52:18,839
Speaker 2: get this one life, so like, just live it because

1940
01:52:18,920 --> 01:52:21,240
Speaker 2: then it's over, you know what I mean, Like you

1941
01:52:21,439 --> 01:52:24,160
Speaker 2: just live it like you got this one life, you

1942
01:52:24,240 --> 01:52:27,519
Speaker 2: got this one chance. It's gonna be over anyway, so

1943
01:52:27,800 --> 01:52:28,240
Speaker 2: just live it.

1944
01:52:30,479 --> 01:52:32,560
Speaker 1: Books gig, Thank you, Steve. I appreciate you.

1945
01:52:32,640 --> 01:52:32,760
Speaker 2: Man.

1946
01:52:32,800 --> 01:52:35,439
Speaker 1: You have the rest of the day you toobe books

1947
01:52:35,960 --> 01:52:44,080
Speaker 1: by Steve. What a what a What a phone call? Folks?

1948
01:52:45,000 --> 01:52:47,519
Speaker 1: What a phone call? Folks. I wasn't just blowing smoke

1949
01:52:47,600 --> 01:52:49,439
Speaker 1: up up Steve's ass. I really that was one of

1950
01:52:49,520 --> 01:52:53,479
Speaker 1: the my favorite episodes of the show I think I've recorded.

1951
01:52:53,520 --> 01:52:56,720
Speaker 1: I mean, he was you know, he had such an

1952
01:52:57,800 --> 01:53:05,200
Speaker 1: amazing story and he told it so well, and it's

1953
01:53:05,320 --> 01:53:10,439
Speaker 1: just wild, man. I mean, twelve fucking years of of

1954
01:53:10,560 --> 01:53:17,320
Speaker 1: hopping trains and you know, dealing with like fucking family

1955
01:53:17,479 --> 01:53:25,639
Speaker 1: shit and then uh, it's really it's beautiful to hear

1956
01:53:25,720 --> 01:53:28,240
Speaker 1: about someone like going out and breaking the cycle and

1957
01:53:28,360 --> 01:53:31,920
Speaker 1: trying to like be the father that they didn't have.

1958
01:53:32,240 --> 01:53:34,240
Speaker 1: Like I think that's so I think that's so cool,

1959
01:53:35,200 --> 01:53:37,120
Speaker 1: you know, I think that's so cool because it's so

1960
01:53:38,400 --> 01:53:43,720
Speaker 1: easy to let life smack you around and mold you

1961
01:53:43,880 --> 01:53:51,280
Speaker 1: into something, and just to to talk to someone who

1962
01:53:51,400 --> 01:53:55,240
Speaker 1: who through sheer like force of fucking will, right, Like

1963
01:53:55,520 --> 01:53:58,760
Speaker 1: I don't I always wonder, I always there's so much

1964
01:53:58,880 --> 01:54:02,919
Speaker 1: that shapes us as people that's out of our fucking control.

1965
01:54:03,960 --> 01:54:06,120
Speaker 1: You know, there's so much that shapes this as people

1966
01:54:06,160 --> 01:54:11,200
Speaker 1: that's out of our fucking control, Like who our parents are, weird,

1967
01:54:13,200 --> 01:54:16,880
Speaker 1: neurological synaps, firing, whatever, the fuck shit that I don't

1968
01:54:16,880 --> 01:54:23,760
Speaker 1: know about, environment, time, random chance, whatever. There's so much

1969
01:54:23,920 --> 01:54:27,599
Speaker 1: that's beyond us that like shapes who we are.

1970
01:54:28,320 --> 01:54:28,840
Speaker 5: And then.

1971
01:54:30,360 --> 01:54:33,080
Speaker 1: You know, I hear a story like Steve's and it's

1972
01:54:33,200 --> 01:54:36,840
Speaker 1: like and and little shit about it where he's like, yeah,

1973
01:54:36,920 --> 01:54:39,760
Speaker 1: fucking guy offered me crack and I wanted to try

1974
01:54:39,840 --> 01:54:43,320
Speaker 1: it and this guy was like, I'm not gonna give

1975
01:54:43,360 --> 01:54:45,960
Speaker 1: you your first hit of crack, and like that just

1976
01:54:46,280 --> 01:54:49,560
Speaker 1: you know, saved his ass. And you know, everyone around

1977
01:54:49,600 --> 01:54:53,720
Speaker 1: him was drinking and he wasn't into drinking, and is

1978
01:54:54,200 --> 01:54:57,280
Speaker 1: you know, dad was shitty to him and he ended

1979
01:54:57,360 --> 01:55:00,400
Speaker 1: up being a good dad regardless, and like, bro, just

1980
01:55:00,480 --> 01:55:06,120
Speaker 1: the story of a guy just like encountering every pitfall

1981
01:55:06,800 --> 01:55:11,320
Speaker 1: that was possible to knock him down and still like

1982
01:55:14,000 --> 01:55:19,120
Speaker 1: creating a beautiful life for himself. It's cool. It makes

1983
01:55:19,280 --> 01:55:26,200
Speaker 1: me question my often deterministic viewpoint about life and and

1984
01:55:27,320 --> 01:55:29,600
Speaker 1: lean more heavily into the idea that we have free

1985
01:55:29,680 --> 01:55:34,120
Speaker 1: will over who we want to become and not letting

1986
01:55:34,360 --> 01:55:38,640
Speaker 1: the ship that happens to us or the world we

1987
01:55:38,720 --> 01:55:42,920
Speaker 1: live in or whatever like shape us permanently. It's cool.

1988
01:55:42,920 --> 01:55:47,080
Speaker 1: It's an inspiring story. I appreciate I appreciate you staring

1989
01:55:47,080 --> 01:55:54,360
Speaker 1: at sharing it. Steve once again, Yeah, what is it again? Trip?

1990
01:55:54,880 --> 01:55:59,920
Speaker 1: I wrote it down trip Trap tramp Trash a GMI

1991
01:56:00,240 --> 01:56:03,720
Speaker 1: dot com. I don't know. Sometimes I like the idea

1992
01:56:03,800 --> 01:56:05,680
Speaker 1: that you know, I mean, we had We've had a

1993
01:56:05,720 --> 01:56:11,120
Speaker 1: few callers on this podcast that uh wires have crossed

1994
01:56:11,680 --> 01:56:17,880
Speaker 1: somehow by people listening to it, and uh, cool things happen.

1995
01:56:18,000 --> 01:56:20,880
Speaker 1: So I like, I like throwing it. I like throwing

1996
01:56:20,920 --> 01:56:27,600
Speaker 1: it out there for that to happen. Anyway. Uh, this

1997
01:56:27,720 --> 01:56:30,560
Speaker 1: has been the the Therapy Gecko podcast. Thank you all

1998
01:56:30,680 --> 01:56:33,240
Speaker 1: very much for listening. This was This was great.

1999
01:56:33,520 --> 01:56:33,640
Speaker 2: Uh.

2000
01:56:34,160 --> 01:56:36,200
Speaker 1: If you enjoyed this episode, share it with your friends.

2001
01:56:36,960 --> 01:56:38,600
Speaker 1: I'd like, I'd like people to hear this. I think

2002
01:56:38,640 --> 01:56:40,240
Speaker 1: this is a really cool story. I think this is

2003
01:56:40,280 --> 01:56:42,720
Speaker 1: a good uh you know, I mean I've been doing

2004
01:56:42,920 --> 01:56:44,560
Speaker 1: I've been doing this like two episodes a week for

2005
01:56:44,680 --> 01:56:48,120
Speaker 1: five years, and sometimes I'm like, are we out of

2006
01:56:48,160 --> 01:56:52,200
Speaker 1: stories and then something comes, something comes by the desk

2007
01:56:53,200 --> 01:56:56,640
Speaker 1: and I'm like, oh shit, you know, uh this this

2008
01:56:57,040 --> 01:57:00,960
Speaker 1: this thing keeps uh given and given interesting stuff. So,

2009
01:57:02,400 --> 01:57:05,680
Speaker 1: you know, I'm proud to be doing this show. I'm

2010
01:57:05,760 --> 01:57:11,440
Speaker 1: honored to have you guys listening to it. And anything else.

2011
01:57:11,480 --> 01:57:12,760
Speaker 1: I don't know if I have anything else to say.

2012
01:57:13,600 --> 01:57:17,600
Speaker 1: I think that's it, all right, Thank you all for

2013
01:57:17,720 --> 01:57:22,800
Speaker 1: listening gek bless see you around the universe. Hello, folks,

2014
01:57:23,080 --> 01:57:26,360
Speaker 1: it's Lyle here. That's the end of this episode. But

2015
01:57:26,560 --> 01:57:31,560
Speaker 1: get this, I'm releasing a bonus episode this week. That's right,

2016
01:57:31,760 --> 01:57:36,040
Speaker 1: an entire extra hour of the podcast that you can

2017
01:57:36,120 --> 01:57:40,000
Speaker 1: listen to. By becoming a premium member of Therapy Gecko

2018
01:57:40,400 --> 01:57:45,200
Speaker 1: over at Therapy Gecko dot supercast dot com. Supercast subscribers

2019
01:57:45,240 --> 01:57:48,480
Speaker 1: get access to bonus episodes, they get a completely ad

2020
01:57:48,720 --> 01:57:52,280
Speaker 1: free podcast feed of the regular show, they get recordings

2021
01:57:52,320 --> 01:57:55,680
Speaker 1: from my live shows, members only streams, and they help

2022
01:57:55,760 --> 01:57:59,520
Speaker 1: support my ability to continue doing this podcast. So here's

2023
01:57:59,520 --> 01:58:03,880
Speaker 1: a clip from this week's members only bonus episode. So

2024
01:58:04,720 --> 01:58:10,160
Speaker 1: you have these uh bass gastric distress as you call it,

2025
01:58:12,680 --> 01:58:14,880
Speaker 1: and it says here that this causes you to shit

2026
01:58:14,920 --> 01:58:17,880
Speaker 1: your pants. Uh in several inopportune situations.

2027
01:58:18,440 --> 01:58:21,400
Speaker 3: Yeah, I went to a I went to a show,

2028
01:58:21,840 --> 01:58:26,280
Speaker 3: and I, uh, I ship myself right before we went

2029
01:58:26,360 --> 01:58:28,760
Speaker 3: into the show. I just to give some context, I

2030
01:58:28,960 --> 01:58:32,000
Speaker 3: ate a cheeseburger, and at the time I didn't know,

2031
01:58:32,160 --> 01:58:32,680
Speaker 3: but now I know.

2032
01:58:32,840 --> 01:58:36,120
Speaker 2: I'm lactose intolerant. It's kind of embarrassing, but I kind

2033
01:58:36,120 --> 01:58:37,840
Speaker 2: of tell it to my friends with a funny story.

2034
01:58:37,920 --> 01:58:41,080
Speaker 2: The mouse sagure it on here. I'm kind of like,

2035
01:58:41,200 --> 01:58:43,400
Speaker 2: dam like, it's kind of fucked up.

2036
01:58:44,720 --> 01:58:46,600
Speaker 1: No, I think it's pretty funny. If you want to

2037
01:58:46,640 --> 01:58:49,040
Speaker 1: hear this full conversation, you can sign up to become

2038
01:58:49,080 --> 01:58:53,360
Speaker 1: a premium member at therapy Gecko dot supercast dot com,

2039
01:58:54,080 --> 01:58:57,600
Speaker 1: or find the link in the episode description that's therapy

2040
01:58:57,720 --> 01:59:02,560
Speaker 1: Gecko dot supercast dot All right, I have nothing else

2041
01:59:02,680 --> 01:59:03,040
Speaker 1: to say.

2042
01:59:04,240 --> 01:59:07,680
Speaker 2: There. Repeat goes on the line, taking your phone calls

2043
01:59:07,760 --> 01:59:08,360
Speaker 2: every night.

2044
01:59:08,680 --> 01:59:10,600
Speaker 1: The repink Can goes doing his ride.

2045
01:59:10,720 --> 01:59:12,840
Speaker 2: He's teaching you aloud in the middle of your life,

2046
01:59:13,200 --> 01:59:15,400
Speaker 2: but he's not really an expert.