WEBVTT - Become a regular somewhere

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of My Heart Radio.

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<v Speaker 1>Good Morning. This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast.

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<v Speaker 1>Today's tip is about one efficient way to add happiness

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<v Speaker 1>into your life. Become a regular somewhere, ideally with good company.

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<v Speaker 1>In a recent episode, we talked about adding more serendipity

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<v Speaker 1>into our daily schedules. This can require new inputs, but

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<v Speaker 1>sometimes we can boost happiness by doubling down on existing

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<v Speaker 1>inputs and going all in to make these a regular

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<v Speaker 1>part of our lives. People my age and older no

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<v Speaker 1>doubt remember the theme song from the TV show Cheers.

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<v Speaker 1>Cheers was a place where everybody knows your name and

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<v Speaker 1>they're always glad you came. It's certainly an appealing concept,

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<v Speaker 1>and one reason some surveys show increased loneliness is that

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<v Speaker 1>isolated with our cell phones, we spend less time going

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<v Speaker 1>to local watering holes or other places. We can become

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<v Speaker 1>part of a community, houses of worship, civic organizations, even

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<v Speaker 1>organized play groups for kids where parents can commiserate to gather.

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<v Speaker 1>We know that social ties tend to make people happier,

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<v Speaker 1>but when people are busy, arranging specific times to get

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<v Speaker 1>together can feel like a ton of work. When you

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<v Speaker 1>always go somewhere at a particular time, though, and other

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<v Speaker 1>people do too, you don't have to do the planning

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<v Speaker 1>and scheduling. You get the relationships without the hassle. And

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<v Speaker 1>by the way, these relationships don't have to be deep,

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<v Speaker 1>soul full sorts of things. Most people will, in fact

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<v Speaker 1>feel happier when the local postal clerk addresses you by

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<v Speaker 1>name and asks about your family. As with all things

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<v Speaker 1>in life, there has to be a balance. You can

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<v Speaker 1>become a regular at a grocery store, but maybe you're

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<v Speaker 1>in a stage of life we're getting groceries delivered makes

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<v Speaker 1>more sense. Too much sameness and routine can be a

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<v Speaker 1>problem too, so I prefer to look at opportunities to

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<v Speaker 1>become a regular somewhere that would happen about once a

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<v Speaker 1>week or so, rather than daily. Fortunately, there are lots

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<v Speaker 1>of opportunities for this. As I look at my life,

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<v Speaker 1>I can see a few places where I might become

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<v Speaker 1>a regular. Most days, I make my own coffee, but

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<v Speaker 1>I pop by my neighborhood coffee shop when I'm in

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<v Speaker 1>the mood for a cappuccino. There are two casual restaurants

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<v Speaker 1>in my area where I've realized after a lot of experimentation,

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<v Speaker 1>that everyone in my family will be happy. So when

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<v Speaker 1>my family is going out to dinner, we go to

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<v Speaker 1>those two places. Over time, you get to know individual

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<v Speaker 1>waiters and specials. Same for the nice adult focused restaurant

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<v Speaker 1>downtown where my husband and I make reservations. When we

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<v Speaker 1>plan to entertain people. It's nice to know exactly where

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<v Speaker 1>to park our guests introduced the novelty, we know the

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<v Speaker 1>venue will be good. Maybe you've got some places like

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<v Speaker 1>this too. Are other things you do semi regularly in life.

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<v Speaker 1>There's a particular teacher at your gym that you always

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<v Speaker 1>enjoy when you manage to get there, or there's a

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<v Speaker 1>lunch spot in your work that you always like when

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<v Speaker 1>you go. To become a regular, and to get the

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<v Speaker 1>most out of this experience, do a few things. First,

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<v Speaker 1>look at your schedule and see if you could build

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<v Speaker 1>visiting this place into your life consistently. The exercise teacher

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<v Speaker 1>might teach on three different days, and sometimes each of

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<v Speaker 1>these is a possibility, but Tuesday nights tend to work

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<v Speaker 1>the best. Could you commit to going the vast majority

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<v Speaker 1>of Tuesday nights? I mean, there's always a reason One

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<v Speaker 1>week here and there won't work. But what if you

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<v Speaker 1>started telling yourself that Tuesday's pilates night. You'd start constructing

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<v Speaker 1>your life to make it possible. And you also wouldn't

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<v Speaker 1>have to think about it. At least one day a week,

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<v Speaker 1>you'd know exactly what you do for exercise. That's a

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<v Speaker 1>great outcome, But to truly get the most out of

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<v Speaker 1>being a regular, don't stop there. You can invite other

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<v Speaker 1>people to join you. It can be casual you tell

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<v Speaker 1>a friend about your great Tuesday night exercise class. Or

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<v Speaker 1>it can be more formal. Maybe you commit to taking

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<v Speaker 1>a different direct report out to lunch at your favorite

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<v Speaker 1>place every Monday. You can rotate through, but you get

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<v Speaker 1>to know the restaurant and you build relationships. And of course,

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<v Speaker 1>once you've decided to become a regular, you can pay

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<v Speaker 1>more attention to the people who are already there. At

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<v Speaker 1>the restaurant, you get to know the hostess and the

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<v Speaker 1>wait staff. Maybe at a bar, as with Cheers, you've

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<v Speaker 1>got your own favorite bartender who you can chat with.

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<v Speaker 1>You notice someone else comes most Tuesday nights the same

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<v Speaker 1>exercise class. Since you've committed to coming, you know it's

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<v Speaker 1>worth introducing yourself and building at least a casual friendship.

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<v Speaker 1>You might not become terribly entwined with each other's lives,

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<v Speaker 1>but it's nice that when you're out sick for a week,

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<v Speaker 1>someone notices and says, we missed you when you come back.

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<v Speaker 1>So look at your life. Where could you become a regular?

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<v Speaker 1>When could you make that happen? Who could join you

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<v Speaker 1>or who would you like to meet? Answering these questions

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<v Speaker 1>can bring a lot of happiness to your life. In

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<v Speaker 1>the meantime, This is Laura. Thanks for listening, and here's

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<v Speaker 1>to making the most of our time. Hey, everybody, I'd

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<v Speaker 1>love to hear from you. You can send me your tips,

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<v Speaker 1>your questions, or anything else. Just connect with me on Twitter, Facebook,

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<v Speaker 1>and Instagram at Before Breakfast pod that's b the number

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<v Speaker 1>four then Breakfast p o D. You can also shoot

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<v Speaker 1>me an email at Before Breakfast podcast at i heeart

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<v Speaker 1>media dot com that Before Breakfast is spelled out with

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<v Speaker 1>all the letters. Thanks so much, I look forward to

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<v Speaker 1>staying in touch. Before Breakfast is a production of I

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