1 00:00:03,440 --> 00:00:06,680 Speaker 1: Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of My Heart Radio. 2 00:00:09,520 --> 00:00:14,080 Speaker 1: Good Morning. This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. 3 00:00:14,960 --> 00:00:18,520 Speaker 1: Today's tip is about one efficient way to add happiness 4 00:00:18,560 --> 00:00:23,720 Speaker 1: into your life. Become a regular somewhere, ideally with good company. 5 00:00:25,040 --> 00:00:28,160 Speaker 1: In a recent episode, we talked about adding more serendipity 6 00:00:28,160 --> 00:00:32,519 Speaker 1: into our daily schedules. This can require new inputs, but 7 00:00:32,640 --> 00:00:36,600 Speaker 1: sometimes we can boost happiness by doubling down on existing 8 00:00:36,640 --> 00:00:40,280 Speaker 1: inputs and going all in to make these a regular 9 00:00:40,360 --> 00:00:44,080 Speaker 1: part of our lives. People my age and older no 10 00:00:44,200 --> 00:00:47,720 Speaker 1: doubt remember the theme song from the TV show Cheers. 11 00:00:48,479 --> 00:00:51,920 Speaker 1: Cheers was a place where everybody knows your name and 12 00:00:51,960 --> 00:00:55,920 Speaker 1: they're always glad you came. It's certainly an appealing concept, 13 00:00:56,000 --> 00:01:00,080 Speaker 1: and one reason some surveys show increased loneliness is that 14 00:01:00,600 --> 00:01:03,720 Speaker 1: isolated with our cell phones, we spend less time going 15 00:01:03,760 --> 00:01:06,800 Speaker 1: to local watering holes or other places. We can become 16 00:01:06,840 --> 00:01:12,400 Speaker 1: part of a community, houses of worship, civic organizations, even 17 00:01:12,480 --> 00:01:15,559 Speaker 1: organized play groups for kids where parents can commiserate to gather. 18 00:01:17,120 --> 00:01:19,760 Speaker 1: We know that social ties tend to make people happier, 19 00:01:20,440 --> 00:01:23,840 Speaker 1: but when people are busy, arranging specific times to get 20 00:01:23,840 --> 00:01:26,920 Speaker 1: together can feel like a ton of work. When you 21 00:01:26,959 --> 00:01:30,560 Speaker 1: always go somewhere at a particular time, though, and other 22 00:01:30,600 --> 00:01:33,400 Speaker 1: people do too, you don't have to do the planning 23 00:01:33,400 --> 00:01:38,440 Speaker 1: and scheduling. You get the relationships without the hassle. And 24 00:01:38,480 --> 00:01:40,840 Speaker 1: by the way, these relationships don't have to be deep, 25 00:01:41,200 --> 00:01:44,600 Speaker 1: soul full sorts of things. Most people will, in fact 26 00:01:44,640 --> 00:01:48,240 Speaker 1: feel happier when the local postal clerk addresses you by 27 00:01:48,320 --> 00:01:52,360 Speaker 1: name and asks about your family. As with all things 28 00:01:52,400 --> 00:01:54,760 Speaker 1: in life, there has to be a balance. You can 29 00:01:54,800 --> 00:01:57,280 Speaker 1: become a regular at a grocery store, but maybe you're 30 00:01:57,280 --> 00:02:00,440 Speaker 1: in a stage of life we're getting groceries delivered makes 31 00:02:00,480 --> 00:02:03,760 Speaker 1: more sense. Too much sameness and routine can be a 32 00:02:03,800 --> 00:02:07,280 Speaker 1: problem too, so I prefer to look at opportunities to 33 00:02:07,320 --> 00:02:10,160 Speaker 1: become a regular somewhere that would happen about once a 34 00:02:10,160 --> 00:02:14,840 Speaker 1: week or so, rather than daily. Fortunately, there are lots 35 00:02:14,840 --> 00:02:18,079 Speaker 1: of opportunities for this. As I look at my life, 36 00:02:18,480 --> 00:02:20,960 Speaker 1: I can see a few places where I might become 37 00:02:20,960 --> 00:02:24,880 Speaker 1: a regular. Most days, I make my own coffee, but 38 00:02:24,919 --> 00:02:27,160 Speaker 1: I pop by my neighborhood coffee shop when I'm in 39 00:02:27,160 --> 00:02:30,760 Speaker 1: the mood for a cappuccino. There are two casual restaurants 40 00:02:30,800 --> 00:02:34,440 Speaker 1: in my area where I've realized after a lot of experimentation, 41 00:02:34,919 --> 00:02:38,080 Speaker 1: that everyone in my family will be happy. So when 42 00:02:38,160 --> 00:02:40,360 Speaker 1: my family is going out to dinner, we go to 43 00:02:40,400 --> 00:02:43,880 Speaker 1: those two places. Over time, you get to know individual 44 00:02:43,919 --> 00:02:48,359 Speaker 1: waiters and specials. Same for the nice adult focused restaurant 45 00:02:48,360 --> 00:02:51,480 Speaker 1: downtown where my husband and I make reservations. When we 46 00:02:51,520 --> 00:02:55,280 Speaker 1: plan to entertain people. It's nice to know exactly where 47 00:02:55,280 --> 00:02:59,359 Speaker 1: to park our guests introduced the novelty, we know the 48 00:02:59,440 --> 00:03:02,720 Speaker 1: venue will be good. Maybe you've got some places like 49 00:03:02,800 --> 00:03:06,760 Speaker 1: this too. Are other things you do semi regularly in life. 50 00:03:07,280 --> 00:03:09,919 Speaker 1: There's a particular teacher at your gym that you always 51 00:03:10,000 --> 00:03:12,400 Speaker 1: enjoy when you manage to get there, or there's a 52 00:03:12,480 --> 00:03:15,160 Speaker 1: lunch spot in your work that you always like when 53 00:03:15,200 --> 00:03:18,560 Speaker 1: you go. To become a regular, and to get the 54 00:03:18,600 --> 00:03:23,040 Speaker 1: most out of this experience, do a few things. First, 55 00:03:23,560 --> 00:03:26,120 Speaker 1: look at your schedule and see if you could build 56 00:03:26,200 --> 00:03:31,400 Speaker 1: visiting this place into your life consistently. The exercise teacher 57 00:03:31,480 --> 00:03:34,320 Speaker 1: might teach on three different days, and sometimes each of 58 00:03:34,360 --> 00:03:37,400 Speaker 1: these is a possibility, but Tuesday nights tend to work 59 00:03:37,440 --> 00:03:41,640 Speaker 1: the best. Could you commit to going the vast majority 60 00:03:41,720 --> 00:03:44,880 Speaker 1: of Tuesday nights? I mean, there's always a reason One 61 00:03:44,880 --> 00:03:47,240 Speaker 1: week here and there won't work. But what if you 62 00:03:47,280 --> 00:03:52,800 Speaker 1: started telling yourself that Tuesday's pilates night. You'd start constructing 63 00:03:52,840 --> 00:03:55,920 Speaker 1: your life to make it possible. And you also wouldn't 64 00:03:55,920 --> 00:03:58,480 Speaker 1: have to think about it. At least one day a week, 65 00:03:58,840 --> 00:04:02,080 Speaker 1: you'd know exactly what you do for exercise. That's a 66 00:04:02,120 --> 00:04:05,640 Speaker 1: great outcome, But to truly get the most out of 67 00:04:05,680 --> 00:04:09,840 Speaker 1: being a regular, don't stop there. You can invite other 68 00:04:09,880 --> 00:04:13,240 Speaker 1: people to join you. It can be casual you tell 69 00:04:13,240 --> 00:04:16,520 Speaker 1: a friend about your great Tuesday night exercise class. Or 70 00:04:16,520 --> 00:04:19,640 Speaker 1: it can be more formal. Maybe you commit to taking 71 00:04:19,680 --> 00:04:22,320 Speaker 1: a different direct report out to lunch at your favorite 72 00:04:22,320 --> 00:04:26,640 Speaker 1: place every Monday. You can rotate through, but you get 73 00:04:26,640 --> 00:04:31,160 Speaker 1: to know the restaurant and you build relationships. And of course, 74 00:04:31,240 --> 00:04:33,920 Speaker 1: once you've decided to become a regular, you can pay 75 00:04:33,960 --> 00:04:37,080 Speaker 1: more attention to the people who are already there. At 76 00:04:37,080 --> 00:04:38,960 Speaker 1: the restaurant, you get to know the hostess and the 77 00:04:38,960 --> 00:04:42,760 Speaker 1: wait staff. Maybe at a bar, as with Cheers, you've 78 00:04:42,800 --> 00:04:45,320 Speaker 1: got your own favorite bartender who you can chat with. 79 00:04:46,320 --> 00:04:48,880 Speaker 1: You notice someone else comes most Tuesday nights the same 80 00:04:48,920 --> 00:04:52,840 Speaker 1: exercise class. Since you've committed to coming, you know it's 81 00:04:52,839 --> 00:04:56,719 Speaker 1: worth introducing yourself and building at least a casual friendship. 82 00:04:57,680 --> 00:05:00,799 Speaker 1: You might not become terribly entwined with each other's lives, 83 00:05:01,240 --> 00:05:03,400 Speaker 1: but it's nice that when you're out sick for a week, 84 00:05:04,120 --> 00:05:08,720 Speaker 1: someone notices and says, we missed you when you come back. 85 00:05:09,760 --> 00:05:12,799 Speaker 1: So look at your life. Where could you become a regular? 86 00:05:13,640 --> 00:05:16,640 Speaker 1: When could you make that happen? Who could join you 87 00:05:17,320 --> 00:05:20,480 Speaker 1: or who would you like to meet? Answering these questions 88 00:05:20,520 --> 00:05:23,400 Speaker 1: can bring a lot of happiness to your life. In 89 00:05:23,480 --> 00:05:27,679 Speaker 1: the meantime, This is Laura. Thanks for listening, and here's 90 00:05:27,720 --> 00:05:36,720 Speaker 1: to making the most of our time. Hey, everybody, I'd 91 00:05:36,720 --> 00:05:39,160 Speaker 1: love to hear from you. You can send me your tips, 92 00:05:39,240 --> 00:05:43,800 Speaker 1: your questions, or anything else. Just connect with me on Twitter, Facebook, 93 00:05:43,920 --> 00:05:49,159 Speaker 1: and Instagram at Before Breakfast pod that's b the number 94 00:05:49,160 --> 00:05:53,359 Speaker 1: four then Breakfast p o D. You can also shoot 95 00:05:53,400 --> 00:05:56,760 Speaker 1: me an email at Before Breakfast podcast at i heeart 96 00:05:56,839 --> 00:05:59,640 Speaker 1: media dot com that Before Breakfast is spelled out with 97 00:05:59,680 --> 00:06:02,360 Speaker 1: all the letters. Thanks so much, I look forward to 98 00:06:02,440 --> 00:06:10,640 Speaker 1: staying in touch. Before Breakfast is a production of I 99 00:06:10,760 --> 00:06:14,640 Speaker 1: Heart Radio. For more podcasts from I heart Radio, visit 100 00:06:14,680 --> 00:06:18,080 Speaker 1: the i heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you 101 00:06:18,080 --> 00:06:21,680 Speaker 1: listen to your favorite shows. H