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Speaker 1: It's the radio segment who's trying to get a piece

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Speaker 1: of that hair growth money and found a niche. No

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Speaker 1: one's doing nose hair transplants. His slogan, if your nostrils bear,

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Speaker 1: put some hair up there. Soon you'll be sporting a

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Speaker 1: flowing Maine thanks to Laser Story, the segment where we

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Speaker 1: read weird news stories around the globe, just like everyone

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Speaker 1: else does, except we've got a laser. Those other smell

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Speaker 1: junkies just don't. This first laser story is out of

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Speaker 1: New Mexico. LaVita Mitchell isn't just a high school teacher.

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Speaker 1: She's a really cool high school teacher is in a

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Speaker 1: lot of trouble after she let her students duel with

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Speaker 1: real swords. Way yeah, not too long ago. She brought

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Speaker 1: in Japanese katana style swords to class, and then she

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Speaker 1: had the students rearranged their desks to form a ring

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Speaker 1: in the center of the room.

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Speaker 2: These are always those things where there's so many steps

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Speaker 2: where you could have said someone could have been This

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Speaker 2: isn't a good idea.

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Speaker 1: We're gonna keep going with this. A pair of kids

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Speaker 1: were then allowed to square off with swords with not

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Speaker 1: a lot of rules. D In fact, not too long

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Speaker 1: after they started, one of the girls dueling was struck

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Speaker 1: across her right forearm, wrist, and hand and blood gushed everywhere.

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Speaker 2: Did you do like fake swords? There are so many

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Speaker 2: different options.

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Speaker 1: Then what's the consequence? Then, yeah, there has to be

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Speaker 1: some stakes. Missus Mitchell reportedly screamed, I'm in trouble and

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Speaker 1: order the students to delete any videos they had immediately

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Speaker 1: while the.

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Speaker 2: While the girls are sitting there bleeding. That's why she's.

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Speaker 1: Worried about the priorities broke and things got worse when

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Speaker 1: she didn't immediately call nine one one. Instead, she sent

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Speaker 1: her down the hall to the school nurse.

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Speaker 2: Oh, they always fixed everything.

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Speaker 1: And thirty minutes later the student was taken to the

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Speaker 1: emergency room. Oh man going to make national news.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, they were like, anything we can do with the hospital,

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Speaker 2: better cancel that western duel we had with the pistols

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Speaker 2: for later in the day.

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Speaker 1: If you're wondering how swords fit into a chemistry.

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Speaker 2: Class, it's a great question.

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Speaker 1: The assistant principle described the incident as a quote lesson

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Speaker 1: on metal and melding. When the student accidentally cut the

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Speaker 1: other student with it and the teacher, Missus Mitchell, was

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Speaker 1: fired and not surprisingly, there is a pending lawsuit.

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Speaker 2: Dany chemistry class is already the most dangerous of the classes.

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Speaker 2: Can you imagine?

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Speaker 1: His next lazer story is out of Port Saint Lucy, Florida.

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Speaker 1: Forty one year old Duke Tacker was at a strip

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Speaker 1: club last weekend.

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Speaker 2: Of course, Duke Tacker was the.

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Speaker 1: Strip club was called body talk, oh.

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Speaker 2: Piece of my body.

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Speaker 1: Even though he was enjoying himself, he wasn't tipping the stripper,

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Speaker 1: so they confronted him about it.

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Speaker 2: Nobody do you go as a group of strippers together

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Speaker 2: to talk about stripper? I don't know.

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Speaker 1: It comes well. The thing is, he was bragging about

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Speaker 1: how much money he makes. He didn't want to tip.

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Speaker 1: He told them that there weren't any signs up, stating

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Speaker 1: that it was mandatory on One of the women who

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Speaker 1: works there picked up a stack of cash and slapped

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Speaker 1: him upside the head.

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Speaker 2: With better than a stiletto. He looked out, that's.

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Speaker 1: Kind of a brag. That stripper was twenty eight year

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Speaker 1: old Victoria Jones, and after that happened, the guy called

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Speaker 1: the cops on her.

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Speaker 2: There is no way the cops are going to side

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Speaker 2: with him.

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Speaker 1: Well. Police interviewed Victoria and she said Duke had been

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Speaker 1: insulting the strippers and claimed that she just tossed the

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Speaker 1: cash at him in a non aggressive manner.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's right, but security.

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Speaker 1: Footage showed her hitting him with the cash while also

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Speaker 1: striking him with an open hand, actually assaulted. So she

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Speaker 1: is now facing charges for misdemeanor battery battery with stripper.

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Speaker 2: Catch here, some ones, let's cover her bail.

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Speaker 1: Careful because you might get called for assault for throwing

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Speaker 1: the ones at Quarters, Jeff, this next laser story is

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Speaker 1: out of living it up Headquarters. For some reason, the

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Speaker 1: rapper jah Rule has been making his way onto conversations

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Speaker 1: on this show lately.

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Speaker 2: He has been a hot topic here.

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Speaker 1: And he will not go away. And I say that

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Speaker 1: because his former business partner, Billy McFarland, the guy behind

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Speaker 1: the Fire Festival, he announced yesterday the sequel is getting

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Speaker 1: even closer to happening. That's right, Billy says the pre

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Speaker 1: sales have already made one hundred and ten million dollars.

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Speaker 2: Everybody is I would believe anything that man says he's

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Speaker 2: made that much money.

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Speaker 1: The ticket price has started at twenty five hundred dollars

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Speaker 1: a piece, with the highest access level ticket costing more

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Speaker 1: than a million actually performing. Then he didn't say how

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Speaker 1: many tickets sold though, only that the next time we'd

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Speaker 1: hear from him it'll be after his business partners make

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Speaker 1: their official Fire Festival two announcement. I want to go

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Speaker 1: this is gonna be lit.

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Speaker 2: I promise you you are making me believe that they

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Speaker 2: actually have sold that many tickets.

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Speaker 1: Jaw is going to be performing himself, because if he is,

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Speaker 1: I can promise you, this little morning radio show will

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Speaker 1: be broadcasting live from fire Festival too. Brook, get your

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Speaker 1: camping tent ready so we get.

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Speaker 2: Allay some lunchables in the shelter.

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Speaker 1: This next les of stories. Out of the world of words,

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Speaker 1: the site word tips just put out a comprehensive report

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Speaker 1: on regional slang throughout the US.

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Speaker 2: Why do I feel like you're a member of the

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Speaker 2: site the word Tip. Yeah, for a lot of tip sites.

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Speaker 1: Here's the most fascinating things that they found about slang.

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Speaker 1: Our most loved slang word overall comes from Texas. It's conniption,

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Speaker 1: which is a fit of rage or a tantrum.

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Speaker 2: I don't hear that fit.

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Speaker 1: It's fun word to say, I think that's what they're

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Speaker 1: talking about. It's not like the most used. We just

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Speaker 1: like to say it makes sense. The second place goes

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Speaker 1: to the word in a Boston area accent wicked.

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Speaker 2: Wick wicked wicked.

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Speaker 1: America's most hated slang term is from the Midwest. It's slashy,

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Speaker 1: which is a hybrid bar slash liquor store establishment. Yeah, yeah, slashy,

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Speaker 1: go ahead to the slash, followed by the Denver area

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Speaker 1: term Colorado kool aid, which is slang for cools.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, taste the rockies.

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Speaker 1: And our favorite slang from New York is cringe. From California,

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Speaker 1: it's out of pocket.

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Speaker 2: It's not hella.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, which out of pocket you say when someone has

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Speaker 1: crossed the line out of pocket? The worst from California

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Speaker 1: is clutch. That's so clutch, And from Texas it's clod hopper.

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Speaker 1: That's an insult for someone who's clumsy or on cultured,

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Speaker 1: or it could be slaying for a heavy shoe.

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Speaker 2: Yes, got the clod hoppers on today, Jeffrey.

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Speaker 1: This guy can only dream of getting clod hopped by

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Speaker 1: a heavy shoe. Yeah. In fact, it's on his Christmas

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Speaker 1: wishless Thanks Sanna A sound In's Lazy Stories has come

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Speaker 1: to an end for the day. We'll do it again,

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Speaker 1: same time on Friday,