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Speaker 1: This is Cowboy Sam and this is Yeh John And

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Speaker 1: we've last showed in some amazing stories for y'all the

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Speaker 1: Okay Storytime podcasts.

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Speaker 2: But before that we got a wrangle, a quick little

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Speaker 2: tobe minute out break from those bucking sponsors.

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Speaker 1: We bucking love so much and they're paying us the

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Speaker 1: bucks to help this show stay alive.

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Speaker 3: My girlfriend refuses to believe that her boss likes her,

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Speaker 3: and now it's too late.

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Speaker 4: They're getting married now.

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Speaker 3: Two years ago, my girlfriend got a job as an

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Speaker 3: EA to the CEO and owner of a business. She

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Speaker 3: had been in a soulless job and loved that she

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Speaker 3: got to be where all the action was. It's a

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Speaker 3: smaller business, so she has a lot of access. She

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Speaker 3: sure does a lot of access. Oh and from the beginning,

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Speaker 3: I got a bad feeling. By the way, this comes

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Speaker 3: from Fast Past three six zero zero. And if you

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Speaker 3: want usb make your own stories, go to the r

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Speaker 3: slash Okay Storytime supperate it. And I'm Angie, I'm Sophia,

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Speaker 3: I'm Keon, and we're here to give good advice goofily.

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Speaker 3: But we don't have all the answers. We just know

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Speaker 3: what we would do in the situation, so let us

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Speaker 3: know what you would do in the comments so op seys.

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Speaker 3: When I first met him, he made comments that to

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Speaker 3: me were playing his day. He saw her as both

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Speaker 3: an employee and a girlfriend. He made a comment about

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Speaker 3: becoming the most important man in her life in a

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Speaker 3: joking way. Weird weird strikwan. He told her he wanted

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Speaker 3: to mentor her and would give her unsolicited relationship advice,

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Speaker 3: particularly when I traveled for work. He pushed boundaries almost

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Speaker 3: from the start. She said it was harmless and that

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Speaker 3: he was married and had three daughters. Yeah, like that's good,

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Speaker 3: that's our stuff to anyone.

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Speaker 4: She's like, he's married. Married men never cheat.

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Speaker 3: On their way, of course not. Over the last two years,

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Speaker 3: she has been at his beck and call. She has

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Speaker 3: taken five am calls or works late, often on projects

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Speaker 3: that were unimportant and just felt like a way for

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Speaker 3: him to spend time with her. She put up with

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Speaker 3: it because she felt important. He began to do things

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Speaker 3: that I interpreted as personal. He would get upset about

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Speaker 3: an unimportant issue and insist that she fixed the project,

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Speaker 3: often before we were scheduled take time away together. She

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Speaker 3: would fix a minor issue and he would be elated

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Speaker 3: with her at work only it had ruined our weekends

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Speaker 3: or get away. It became a routine, and I knew

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Speaker 3: that Friday, at nine pm, before we were going to

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Speaker 3: go somewhere, he would call her and insist that she

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Speaker 3: fixed a mistake first thing in the morning.

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Speaker 5: Hmmmm, geez, that's annoyance. Don't you ask know that we're

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Speaker 5: gonna go to the mountains. Don't you mat now we're

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Speaker 5: gonna imagine we're gonna go on to mountains, or we're

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Speaker 5: gonna we're gonna go with snorkeling or something.

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Speaker 3: Wouldn't be busy, We're busy, don't know. He would put

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Speaker 3: her in his place in meetings and allow her to

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Speaker 3: run with it. She was attending meetings and flying to places,

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Speaker 3: so she thought this was normal. In the last three months,

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Speaker 3: he brought himself and his wife to my girlfriend's yoga class.

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Speaker 3: They sometimes spent afternoons having her help him with personal errands,

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Speaker 3: like a Costco run. He bumped into friends once on

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Speaker 3: the street and eluded that.

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Speaker 6: They were dating.

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Speaker 4: What my girlfriend, ay, that's a bit odd, that's strange.

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Speaker 3: My girlfriend mentioned it felt odd. He apologized and they

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Speaker 3: moved on. She felt that she was finally a respected

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Speaker 3: employee after being laid off from her last job. I

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Speaker 3: warned her about boundaries and about how I felt She

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Speaker 3: would get upsets and suggest that it was all in

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Speaker 3: my head. She once even called me nuts for bringing

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Speaker 3: it back up. A few months back, they had begun

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Speaker 3: to travel for work. He would bring her to conferences

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Speaker 3: as his scribe, the sales ribe his scribe.

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Speaker 4: She's like, she's gonna take notes, and also she's my

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Speaker 4: in house artist. She draws pictures of me.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly, and I posed and then op. He's like

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Speaker 3: that's a little odd, and she's like nuts.

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Speaker 4: What are you a nut?

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Speaker 1: Is the job description?

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Speaker 4: Ah, I'm just a wacon girl.

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Speaker 3: The sales team felt that it was odd, as it

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Speaker 3: was supposedly their job. The travel was getting more frequent.

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Speaker 3: They were going all over for conferences that were only

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Speaker 3: tangently related to their industry. Still, she wouldn't see what

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Speaker 3: was happening. I believe I feel like she does see

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Speaker 3: what's happening, and she's just like, she's just cool with it.

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Speaker 4: Yeah. I feel like unless she's incredibly oblivious, yeah, which

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Speaker 4: sometimes we get those people sure or very defensive. I

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Speaker 4: think oftentimes there is this kind of feeling of inadequacy

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Speaker 4: when you find out that like a boss or someone

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Speaker 4: that you thought that you had a like professional rapport with, yeah,

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Speaker 4: is actually just keeping you there because they, you know,

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Speaker 4: like you in romantic sense, Yeah, exactly, And that can be,

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Speaker 4: you know, very hurtful. So that she could also just

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Speaker 4: be like trying to deny it to herself.

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Speaker 3: Very very possible. I was scheduled to go to a

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Speaker 3: conference and she wound up also being booked on a

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Speaker 3: last minute ture of that departed the same day that

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Speaker 3: I left. We were heading for opposite sides of the continent.

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Speaker 3: The end of day one, I'm returning to my hotel

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Speaker 3: and see missed calls. I get to my room to call,

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Speaker 3: and she's sobbing. She tells me that it had been

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Speaker 3: a ruse. He apparently told her that it was okay

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Speaker 3: to get her self permission to give into her desires

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Speaker 3: and had sought to have an affair and then tried

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Speaker 3: to kiss her openly at a bar. He made it

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Speaker 3: clear that there wasn't a business to be conducted. She

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Speaker 3: apparently told him no. They argued at the hotel. He

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Speaker 3: conveyed that she had given signals for two years and

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Speaker 3: then he packed and was leaving. So she calls me

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Speaker 3: in a panic. She's now alone in a strange city.

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Speaker 3: I'm several time zones away at critical meetings. She won't

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Speaker 3: stop crying. She doesn't know if she's stuck with the

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Speaker 3: bill and doesn't have tickets to leave for a few

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Speaker 3: more days. I tell her to leave in the morning.

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Speaker 3: She was able to change her ticket and instead of

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Speaker 3: flying home, she flies to where I am. By the

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Speaker 3: time I got home, I was and remain furious. I

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Speaker 3: told her for two years he had ill intent. He

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Speaker 3: would make little comments, he always glared at me. He

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Speaker 3: would do things that were clearly an attempt to ruin

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Speaker 3: our personal time. She would always defend the situation to

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Speaker 3: say that she had no interest in him, and I

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Speaker 3: genuinely don't think she ever slept with him or intended

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Speaker 3: to lead him on. He sent her an email apologize

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Speaker 3: and asking for discretion. She returned to work, and while

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Speaker 3: not fired, she was banished.

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Speaker 4: And now she needs to go to HR and say, hey,

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Speaker 4: I went on this work trip, or so I thought,

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Speaker 4: was propositioned by my boss who's in a higher position

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Speaker 4: than me, And now I have seen a change in

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Speaker 4: my employment.

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Speaker 3: I'm scared that there's not even HRX. This is a

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Speaker 3: small business, that's true. I'm scared that she won't.

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Speaker 4: Even be able to do that, in which case, if

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Speaker 4: you can't do that, then you have to The best

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Speaker 4: thing that you can do is quit that job.

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Speaker 3: She was moved to a different team and now reports

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Speaker 3: to a new person who knows the situation. She wants

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Speaker 3: to resign, but has no fallback yet. I'm bitter. She's

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Speaker 3: been sheepish and apologetic. She's been making special meals and

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Speaker 3: trying to be extra nice. She's booked a long weekend

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Speaker 3: get away for us as an attempt to make amends.

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Speaker 3: She can tell that I'm still angry. We haven't been

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Speaker 3: intimate for many weeks, despite her trying to initiate. I'm

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Speaker 3: not sure how to move forward. We've been together for

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Speaker 3: four years, and we had been discussing marriage, our anniversary

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Speaker 3: coming up, and all I can think about is how

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Speaker 3: angry I am. My friend's saying to let bygones be bygones,

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Speaker 3: and I should just swallow it and move on.

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Speaker 6: I disagree.

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Speaker 3: When I talk to my girlfriend, she just freezes, apologizes

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Speaker 3: and starts bawling, usually followed up with a plea to

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Speaker 3: make it up to me. We can't even talk about this.

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Speaker 3: I never feel like I'm hurt. For years, I put

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Speaker 3: up with this insane behavior and was made to feel crazy.

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Speaker 3: How would people who are not in a situation approach this?

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Speaker 3: I need perspective and we do have an update. But

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Speaker 3: what do you think?

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Speaker 4: Well, first of all, I don't think that you should

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Speaker 4: just gloss over the situation and let bygones be bygones,

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Speaker 4: because one I agree were you were made to feel crazy.

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Speaker 4: You brought up your concerns and she didn't listen to you,

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Speaker 4: which is an aspect of like just not trusting your

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Speaker 4: partner in a relationship. However, on the other hand, you

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Speaker 4: have her situation where she was, you know, harassed by

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Speaker 4: a person she works with and now has her entire

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Speaker 4: job affected. Yeah, and a person that she also trusted,

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Speaker 4: it seems, yeah, in which case, you know, like you

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Speaker 4: both have been wronged in some ways and that needs

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Speaker 4: to be talked about. Yeah, And I think, like try

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Speaker 4: and sit her down and say, hey, like, I know

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Speaker 4: this is upsetting, I know that this brings up a

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Speaker 4: lot of emotions, but I really I really need to

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Speaker 4: talk to you about this. Yeah, and it's not like

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Speaker 4: it's not about you having done anything. I don't think

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Speaker 4: you cheated on me. I don't think any of that.

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Speaker 4: But it is just like in the future, I want

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Speaker 4: to be coming from a place of like, we trust

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Speaker 4: our partners, we trust each other totally.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, because I think like in a lot of those situations,

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Speaker 3: you know, some people use it as a manipulative tactic

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Speaker 3: to like cry when you know they're in the wrong,

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Speaker 3: but then the situation is brought up again. I don't

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Speaker 3: think she's doing it in a manipulative way.

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Speaker 4: This was a really emotional situation where she was wronged.

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Speaker 3: But I do think that, you know, she should still

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Speaker 3: take some time to let him have the focus and

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Speaker 3: his emotions have the focus, because I mean, I think

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Speaker 3: her emotions definitely are valid. Like, I don't really think

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Speaker 3: she did anything wrong. I agree, she just was not.

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Speaker 4: In terms with full Yeah, not in terms of what

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Speaker 4: her relationship was with the boss.

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Speaker 3: I don't think she did anything wrong. What do you

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Speaker 3: think she did do wrong?

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Speaker 4: I think in not considering a piece feelings and when

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Speaker 4: he brings stuff up, calling him crazy. I think that

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Speaker 4: even if you disagree with someone, I think that being

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Speaker 4: like you're nuts. You're nuts. I think it's like, hey,

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Speaker 4: I hear you did say that I'll set up some

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Speaker 4: boundaries at work. Yeah, because I know that makes you uncomfortable, right,

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Speaker 4: So I feel like that is how she should have

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Speaker 4: approached it. She was seemingly very oblivious to this whole situation.

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Speaker 4: I'm not blaming her for anything that happened with the boss.

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Speaker 4: It's more so what happens in their relationship. I agree,

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Speaker 4: and we do have an update. So things have not

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Speaker 4: really gotten better. I a great They're changed and different,

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Speaker 4: but not better. I felt that no one would validate

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Speaker 4: what I experienced. Outside influence, including several of her friends

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Speaker 4: and her father were adding to my load, and my

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Speaker 4: girlfriend wasn't accepting the fact that I am carrying a

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Speaker 4: huge burden on her palt I went home and she

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Speaker 4: was already there, laying on the couch. I was still

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Speaker 4: completely angry, but I thought of trying a new approach.

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Speaker 3: Instead of talking, I just put my head on her back.

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Speaker 3: She completely started bawling again. She had a long cry

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Speaker 3: where she told me things, and I stayed completely silent

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Speaker 3: and let her talk. She told me she had accidentally

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Speaker 3: found the ring and was waiting for a proposal, and

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Speaker 3: then when she looked again, it was gone. She feared

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Speaker 3: I was going to dump her. Oh my gosh. I

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Speaker 3: told her no, that I knew she had found it,

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Speaker 3: but had hidden it elsewhere. What she really wanted was reassurance.

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Speaker 3: Despite how I felt, I gave her reassurances about our relationship.

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Speaker 3: Then she laid it on me she had been fired

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Speaker 3: at the previous lawsuit loss. Honestly, you're about to get

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Speaker 3: so much money.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I have a beautiful wedding for you, are about

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Speaker 4: to get so much money. I'm sorry boss propositioned you.

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Speaker 4: You got moved to a different department, and now you

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Speaker 4: got fired.

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Speaker 6: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: Lawsuits, lawsuits, and you have all I hope you have

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Speaker 4: all of that, like proof and stuff. Yeah, we have

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Speaker 4: anything in text, if anything you could say. I went

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Speaker 4: on this vacation that he told like, if you have

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Speaker 4: any emails that say like this is a work thing, right,

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Speaker 4: and then say he then told me that it wasn't.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, there was like no proof of there being any

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Speaker 3: work there.

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Speaker 6: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: I went on the yeah, yeah, there's no proof of

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Speaker 4: any conferences going on, and I went under the assumption

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Speaker 4: that there was.

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Speaker 6: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: I then changed my flight after.

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Speaker 3: He yeah, you could totally do that, big old laugh,

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Speaker 3: totally go about to get it so much money. She

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Speaker 3: had been told that she was downsized and walked out.

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Speaker 3: That afternoon. She was walking around in a stupor. She

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Speaker 3: wasn't sleeping, she wasn't bathing. By Thursday morning, I had

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Speaker 3: to tell her that she needed to get into the shower.

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Speaker 3: I couldn't take time off as work's insane, but I

254
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Speaker 3: was worried that she would have a total breakdown and

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Speaker 3: I wouldn't be there. It was a difficult week. That evening,

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Speaker 3: I got home and she had an epic melt down.

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Speaker 3: She tripped and fell coming out of the bathroom, and

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Speaker 3: everything came flooding out. There was sobbing and ranting. The

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Speaker 3: whole truth came out about her boss. She had known

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Speaker 3: that he had icy intent, but he acted that way

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Speaker 3: with several female subordinate employees. She felt that it was

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Speaker 3: his personality and waved off the idea that he would

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Speaker 3: do anything more. She told me that when he kissed her,

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Speaker 3: he had to put a hand up her dress. Oh no,

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Speaker 3: I mostly rubbed her back or put my arm around her.

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Speaker 3: She was mad that she ignored the signs was upset

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Speaker 3: that I was upset. She was mad at herself, mad

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Speaker 3: at the whole situation. We had to talk about the

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Speaker 3: practicalities of the finances. She didn't make a lot of money,

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Speaker 3: and she basically was out of money after rent was

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Speaker 3: paid lawsuit. She was worried that she was going to

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Speaker 3: have to move in with her folks. She had booked

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Speaker 3: to get away for us and can no longer afford it.

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Speaker 3: I offered to cover things. I told her that we

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Speaker 3: should go to the getaway that she had planned, but

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Speaker 3: it'll get put on my credit card. I can cover rent,

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Speaker 3: and for now we're not in any immediate danger of

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Speaker 3: financial collapse. She did talk to a lawyer. Okay, all

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Speaker 3: she has from her job is an email quote downsizing her,

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Speaker 3: but no other documents. The lawyers have advised her to

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Speaker 3: write down instances where he acted poorly.

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Speaker 4: And also talk to the other women at the work.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. That's a good idea too.

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Speaker 4: Yeah they might you know, there's always a chance that

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Speaker 4: they might be too scared or fearful of losing their job. Yeah,

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Speaker 4: but when did.

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Speaker 3: This come out?

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Speaker 6: Do we know?

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Speaker 1: I could check?

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Speaker 4: Obviously, these things still happen, but post me Too movement

291
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Speaker 4: companies are gonna take it a lot more serious because

292
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Speaker 4: you can blast them online, especially like a small business too.

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Speaker 4: Oh yeah, you can destroy that business.

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Speaker 7: Yeah it looks like about a couple months ago.

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Speaker 4: Okay, yeah, that absolutely. You can do something about this.

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Speaker 4: Please get those other women involved.

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Speaker 3: She's been getting and copying text messages, writing notes, and

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Speaker 3: keeping it all organized. It's helped her have something to do.

299
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Speaker 3: She's clearly depressed and living on the couch during the day.

300
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Speaker 3: I know that when we go to bed, she lays

301
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Speaker 3: down and I fall asleep, but I know she's not sleeping.

302
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Speaker 3: Then Friday, we were notified that my employer's Canadian division

303
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Speaker 3: is shuddering and all operations are being folded into US operations,

304
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Speaker 3: so let staff are being offered relocation packages. I am

305
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Speaker 3: among those being asked to head to the US. It's

306
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Speaker 3: a big opportunity, not to mention, I could have the

307
00:14:03,800 --> 00:14:06,800
Speaker 3: possibility of actually buying a house. Friday, after work, I

308
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Speaker 3: had to tell her what transpired, and she again felt

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Speaker 3: on shaky ground. Her main question was whether I would

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Speaker 3: want her to come with me or stay BEHINDE in

311
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Speaker 3: a long distance deal. I don't want to do long

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Speaker 3: distance and would much rather that she joins me on

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Speaker 3: a big us move and.

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Speaker 4: Also, like I mean, obviously a lot of terrible things

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Speaker 4: have happened to lead up to this, but it is

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Speaker 4: kind of the perfect timing. She doesn't have a job,

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Speaker 4: she is the least tied that she has ever been to.

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Speaker 7: This place, right, gives her a distraction.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, exactly, You get to like move, you get to

320
00:14:39,280 --> 00:14:42,120
Speaker 4: think about buying a new place that's totally disconnected to

321
00:14:42,240 --> 00:14:43,720
Speaker 4: like the memories that.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I think this is.

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Speaker 6: A great idea.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I think so too. So we are hiring a

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Speaker 3: lawyer for her. I have a lawyer for me. We

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00:14:51,720 --> 00:14:54,200
Speaker 3: have to consider what to do about a move. We

327
00:14:54,280 --> 00:14:57,120
Speaker 3: have lost her income and are fully reliant on mine,

328
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Speaker 3: and Toronto is really expensive. We had to sell her

329
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Speaker 3: car as it's a maintenance hog and we simply couldn't

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Speaker 3: afford it on one income. Then her therapist said, she

331
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Speaker 3: thinks my girlfriend might be on the spectrum. So she

332
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Speaker 3: has been researching that. She has gotten back to the gym,

333
00:15:10,800 --> 00:15:13,440
Speaker 3: been taking walks, showering, and she's been eating again.

334
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Speaker 4: Amazing.

335
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Speaker 3: She didn't touch food for days and I almost considered

336
00:15:16,640 --> 00:15:19,560
Speaker 3: taking her to the hospital, but she finally began to eat.

337
00:15:19,840 --> 00:15:22,200
Speaker 3: She started cooking again and is back to making these

338
00:15:22,240 --> 00:15:24,520
Speaker 3: special things while she's home. I asked her if she's

339
00:15:24,560 --> 00:15:26,600
Speaker 3: going to look for work right now, and the answer

340
00:15:26,680 --> 00:15:29,920
Speaker 3: seems to be no. In shorts, my company is shutting down.

341
00:15:30,040 --> 00:15:32,840
Speaker 3: We need two lawyers for two different things. We are

342
00:15:32,960 --> 00:15:36,160
Speaker 3: down to one income. She's depressed and now worried that

343
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Speaker 3: I'm going to dumper at any moment, so she's trying

344
00:15:38,280 --> 00:15:41,560
Speaker 3: to be extra ice. She mostly seems to need reassurance

345
00:15:41,800 --> 00:15:44,440
Speaker 3: back her head scratches and hugs, which I'm able to offer.

346
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Speaker 3: I mostly let her talk, but there is a little

347
00:15:46,440 --> 00:15:49,000
Speaker 3: bit more into the story. But it sounded like things

348
00:15:49,000 --> 00:15:51,280
Speaker 3: were looking up, but then it also stayed the same

349
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Speaker 3: in like the next sentence.

350
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Speaker 4: I mean they're moving but still job in security. Yeah,

351
00:15:56,840 --> 00:15:59,320
Speaker 4: she's still very upset about it, obviously because that was

352
00:15:59,360 --> 00:16:02,480
Speaker 4: a very upset things processing it too. I do think,

353
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Speaker 4: you know, make sure that you're getting support too, make

354
00:16:06,520 --> 00:16:09,640
Speaker 4: sure you still have that conversation saying hey, you know,

355
00:16:09,880 --> 00:16:12,040
Speaker 4: not blaming you at all, but like in the future,

356
00:16:12,040 --> 00:16:14,240
Speaker 4: can we talk about trust between us.

357
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Speaker 3: Yeah.

358
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Speaker 4: I think the autism diagnosis does play a role in

359
00:16:18,720 --> 00:16:21,360
Speaker 4: the reaction to the boss's advances. And stuff and not

360
00:16:21,440 --> 00:16:24,800
Speaker 4: like recognizing that. But even then, I think that it's

361
00:16:24,840 --> 00:16:27,160
Speaker 4: even more important to have that conversation about trust, because

362
00:16:27,160 --> 00:16:30,200
Speaker 4: it's like, hey, you might not always pick up those

363
00:16:30,200 --> 00:16:32,960
Speaker 4: social cues that I'm picking up, and like, sometimes I

364
00:16:33,040 --> 00:16:35,400
Speaker 4: just want you to You don't have to necessarily trust

365
00:16:35,400 --> 00:16:39,120
Speaker 4: me blindly, but listen to me, yeah, and hear me out.

366
00:16:39,280 --> 00:16:40,840
Speaker 4: And I think that needs to be a conversation because

367
00:16:40,880 --> 00:16:42,520
Speaker 4: it seems like you're doing a lot of emotional support

368
00:16:42,560 --> 00:16:42,800
Speaker 4: for her.

369
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Speaker 3: There is a little bit more. I am still annoyed.

370
00:16:45,360 --> 00:16:48,000
Speaker 3: Her father wants to talk before we go away. I

371
00:16:48,040 --> 00:16:50,960
Speaker 3: would rather not. I'm mad at her boss and wish

372
00:16:51,040 --> 00:16:53,000
Speaker 3: that she would have fully admitted that she ignored my

373
00:16:53,040 --> 00:16:55,320
Speaker 3: concerns for two years. But at this point it's still

374
00:16:55,360 --> 00:16:57,200
Speaker 3: in a wound, and I worry that it would push

375
00:16:57,200 --> 00:16:58,680
Speaker 3: her over at the edge to talk about it. We're

376
00:16:58,720 --> 00:17:01,680
Speaker 3: at a crossroads now. Two paths lay before us. I

377
00:17:01,680 --> 00:17:04,560
Speaker 3: could take the relocation alone and we could try long distance,

378
00:17:04,960 --> 00:17:06,679
Speaker 3: or she could come with me and we start fresh

379
00:17:06,720 --> 00:17:10,040
Speaker 3: somewhere new. Despite everything, despite my anger and her mistakes,

380
00:17:10,200 --> 00:17:12,920
Speaker 3: I don't want to lose what we've built over four years.

381
00:17:13,000 --> 00:17:16,040
Speaker 3: We're pursuing legal action against her former employer and planning

382
00:17:16,119 --> 00:17:19,280
Speaker 3: to relocate together to the US. It's not the future

383
00:17:19,280 --> 00:17:21,280
Speaker 3: that we imagined, but it's the one that we're choosing

384
00:17:21,320 --> 00:17:22,240
Speaker 3: to face as a unit.

385
00:17:22,480 --> 00:17:24,840
Speaker 4: I've done that path. I don't think it's salt and

386
00:17:24,880 --> 00:17:28,159
Speaker 4: a wound. I think it's iodine or hydrogen peroxide. You know,

387
00:17:28,440 --> 00:17:33,640
Speaker 4: it's gonna sting like crazy, But in the long run,

388
00:17:33,760 --> 00:17:36,240
Speaker 4: I think talking about this stuff is going to be beneficial.

389
00:17:36,280 --> 00:17:38,640
Speaker 1: Clean that, yeah, clean it, clean it.

390
00:17:38,640 --> 00:17:40,600
Speaker 3: Up exactly, because I think you're doing a good job

391
00:17:40,600 --> 00:17:43,159
Speaker 3: at like being there for her, and she's obviously like

392
00:17:43,359 --> 00:17:45,439
Speaker 3: like it was, it was obviously more than just her

393
00:17:45,480 --> 00:17:49,680
Speaker 3: being upset, oh yeah, and like guilty feeling like it's

394
00:17:49,720 --> 00:17:53,159
Speaker 3: also her, you know, processing this whole situation and like

395
00:17:53,640 --> 00:17:55,480
Speaker 3: actually reflecting and being like, oh my god, it was

396
00:17:55,520 --> 00:17:57,720
Speaker 3: so different than I thought. It was so much worse

397
00:17:57,760 --> 00:17:59,560
Speaker 3: than I thought it was. So you're doing a great

398
00:17:59,640 --> 00:18:01,399
Speaker 3: job there for her. But yeah, I mean, like you

399
00:18:01,440 --> 00:18:04,239
Speaker 3: were saying, I think hopefully ope can just be like

400
00:18:04,320 --> 00:18:06,680
Speaker 3: I really love you, you don't need to feel guilty. Well,

401
00:18:06,760 --> 00:18:09,359
Speaker 3: don't say that, but I just say, like, I would

402
00:18:09,359 --> 00:18:11,920
Speaker 3: love to talk about my emotions now and like have

403
00:18:11,960 --> 00:18:12,800
Speaker 3: that be the focus.

404
00:18:13,080 --> 00:18:15,880
Speaker 4: Every time you've said you talked about it, Yeah, it's been.

405
00:18:15,960 --> 00:18:17,919
Speaker 4: I listened to her. Yeah, I comforted her.

406
00:18:18,040 --> 00:18:20,480
Speaker 3: Because that's truly like, I think some people just get

407
00:18:20,480 --> 00:18:22,679
Speaker 3: confused on how to react to that stuff, because some

408
00:18:22,680 --> 00:18:25,320
Speaker 3: people literally will feel guilty and feel sorry, and like

409
00:18:25,440 --> 00:18:27,240
Speaker 3: think that the way to handle it is just I'm sorry,

410
00:18:27,280 --> 00:18:29,879
Speaker 3: I'm sorry, I'm sorry, and just to show how upset

411
00:18:29,920 --> 00:18:32,639
Speaker 3: they are. But really what happens in those situations is

412
00:18:32,640 --> 00:18:34,920
Speaker 3: that like, like, yes, it might be good to show

413
00:18:35,040 --> 00:18:38,280
Speaker 3: how upset you are. If you really do feel like guilty,

414
00:18:38,359 --> 00:18:41,840
Speaker 3: then the focus should be on the the victim, if

415
00:18:41,840 --> 00:18:42,560
Speaker 3: you would call it that.

416
00:18:42,840 --> 00:18:45,080
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's like how did that make you feel? What

417
00:18:45,160 --> 00:18:47,480
Speaker 4: did you want to talk about? Anything that you wanted

418
00:18:47,480 --> 00:18:48,280
Speaker 4: to get off your chest?

419
00:18:48,320 --> 00:18:51,239
Speaker 3: Because then it makes you know, obviously, opee try to

420
00:18:51,280 --> 00:18:54,000
Speaker 3: feel comfort the one saying sorry, it's like, I don't

421
00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:55,600
Speaker 3: know what it's supposed to sing, so I think it's

422
00:18:55,640 --> 00:18:58,040
Speaker 3: you know, innocent. But yeah, I hope you can have

423
00:18:58,080 --> 00:19:00,520
Speaker 3: a real conversation about that, and I hope you have

424
00:19:00,600 --> 00:19:02,399
Speaker 3: a wonderful life together in the US.

425
00:19:02,440 --> 00:19:03,080
Speaker 4: Me too.

426
00:19:03,200 --> 00:19:05,160
Speaker 3: But that's the end of a story. We've got another one.

427
00:19:05,200 --> 00:19:08,520
Speaker 2: My previous one night stand is now my coworker.

428
00:19:08,840 --> 00:19:11,160
Speaker 8: I'm sure that won't be awkward at all, right.

429
00:19:11,240 --> 00:19:13,760
Speaker 2: I, twenty five female, was in a bad place this

430
00:19:13,800 --> 00:19:16,639
Speaker 2: past summer. I had just lost my job and was

431
00:19:16,680 --> 00:19:20,200
Speaker 2: lonely and depressed. Deciding I needed to put myself out

432
00:19:20,200 --> 00:19:23,840
Speaker 2: there more, I joined Tinder Sure went out with a

433
00:19:23,880 --> 00:19:27,119
Speaker 2: guy named Eric, twenty five male. We went to a

434
00:19:27,359 --> 00:19:30,800
Speaker 2: Bruski festival together and the date was fun, but we

435
00:19:31,240 --> 00:19:34,679
Speaker 2: and especially I, got way too wasted. He ended up

436
00:19:34,680 --> 00:19:38,120
Speaker 2: going back to his place and having the chick about Wow,

437
00:19:38,560 --> 00:19:42,080
Speaker 2: it was definitely me who initiated.

438
00:19:41,520 --> 00:19:44,240
Speaker 7: Like how me's in all caps? What me is on

439
00:19:44,280 --> 00:19:45,920
Speaker 7: all caps? It was definitely me.

440
00:19:46,520 --> 00:19:51,159
Speaker 2: Long story short, after we had spicy sleep, I burst

441
00:19:51,200 --> 00:19:54,320
Speaker 2: into drunken tears. By the way, this comes from user

442
00:19:54,600 --> 00:19:57,920
Speaker 2: x flings spreading rumo and if you want to submit

443
00:19:58,000 --> 00:20:00,119
Speaker 2: your own stories, go to the r slash show case.

444
00:20:00,119 --> 00:20:01,600
Speaker 6: Story Time suppered it and we got to give you

445
00:20:01,600 --> 00:20:02,520
Speaker 6: a good advice. Goofly.

446
00:20:02,560 --> 00:20:04,000
Speaker 2: But we don't have all the answers. We only know

447
00:20:04,040 --> 00:20:05,240
Speaker 2: what we would do, so to let us know what

448
00:20:05,280 --> 00:20:08,640
Speaker 2: you do in the comments. As Op says, to this day,

449
00:20:09,119 --> 00:20:11,520
Speaker 2: I'm still not sure what caused it exactly.

450
00:20:11,680 --> 00:20:13,440
Speaker 6: He didn't do or say anything.

451
00:20:13,880 --> 00:20:16,159
Speaker 2: I was just hammered and very sad inside, and it

452
00:20:16,200 --> 00:20:17,680
Speaker 2: all came out on this poor guy.

453
00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:19,840
Speaker 6: It sounds like you know exactly what happened.

454
00:20:20,480 --> 00:20:22,640
Speaker 7: I wanted to say something, but I'm not gonna say it.

455
00:20:22,720 --> 00:20:23,080
Speaker 6: Say it.

456
00:20:23,240 --> 00:20:24,800
Speaker 8: You can't say that until much.

457
00:20:24,840 --> 00:20:28,760
Speaker 7: It's those words rearranged. But you never mind.

458
00:20:28,960 --> 00:20:30,760
Speaker 6: Okay, okay, kean.

459
00:20:32,800 --> 00:20:33,640
Speaker 8: Guy kyan.

460
00:20:37,160 --> 00:20:39,400
Speaker 2: He was really uncomfortable and didn't know what to do

461
00:20:39,720 --> 00:20:41,920
Speaker 2: and asked if I wanted to go home or stay.

462
00:20:42,080 --> 00:20:43,639
Speaker 6: I mumbled that I would stay.

463
00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:46,840
Speaker 2: The next morning, I woke up embarrassed and very hungover

464
00:20:46,920 --> 00:20:48,960
Speaker 2: to an empty bed. I get up, go to the

465
00:20:49,000 --> 00:20:51,560
Speaker 2: living room and he's there watching TV. He gives me

466
00:20:51,600 --> 00:20:53,080
Speaker 2: a ride home, which is fair.

467
00:20:53,200 --> 00:20:54,920
Speaker 6: I'd be like, I don't know.

468
00:20:55,160 --> 00:20:58,080
Speaker 2: I I I probably would have moved the couch in

469
00:20:58,119 --> 00:20:58,880
Speaker 2: the middle of the night.

470
00:20:59,000 --> 00:21:01,919
Speaker 8: Sorry, guys, all you all good, good morning.

471
00:21:02,200 --> 00:21:05,240
Speaker 7: Sorry. I just I just saw pretty much the inside

472
00:21:05,240 --> 00:21:06,160
Speaker 7: of Riley right there.

473
00:21:06,359 --> 00:21:06,399
Speaker 9: What.

474
00:21:08,359 --> 00:21:10,680
Speaker 7: Yeah, he just mooned me. It was great.

475
00:21:11,200 --> 00:21:12,840
Speaker 6: He just showed you his monkey butt.

476
00:21:13,000 --> 00:21:15,640
Speaker 7: Yeah he did away, Well, you got a harry butt.

477
00:21:15,920 --> 00:21:16,480
Speaker 6: Dang.

478
00:21:16,760 --> 00:21:18,560
Speaker 7: He's not denying it.

479
00:21:18,520 --> 00:21:21,199
Speaker 6: Says I did not do that. I did not do that.

480
00:21:21,480 --> 00:21:24,960
Speaker 2: I don't believe I feel bad about what happens, because

481
00:21:25,000 --> 00:21:27,760
Speaker 2: I know that I genuinely enjoyed my date with him

482
00:21:28,240 --> 00:21:30,800
Speaker 2: until the crying part. I send him a casual text

483
00:21:30,800 --> 00:21:32,720
Speaker 2: a couple days later to see if there's still a chance,

484
00:21:32,720 --> 00:21:33,720
Speaker 2: and he doesn't respond.

485
00:21:33,960 --> 00:21:35,640
Speaker 9: I don't know that I would have ever been able

486
00:21:35,680 --> 00:21:37,360
Speaker 9: to set a follow up to that.

487
00:21:37,680 --> 00:21:40,880
Speaker 6: I don't believe that you stayed or he let you.

488
00:21:40,920 --> 00:21:42,360
Speaker 6: I would have been like, are you going to do.

489
00:21:42,359 --> 00:21:44,320
Speaker 8: If it's the middle of the night at that point.

490
00:21:44,160 --> 00:21:46,000
Speaker 6: I'm like, I'm calling you an uber.

491
00:21:46,520 --> 00:21:46,920
Speaker 8: Nah.

492
00:21:49,000 --> 00:21:51,719
Speaker 6: I guess it depends on how messed up care couch. No.

493
00:21:51,800 --> 00:21:54,200
Speaker 2: But if I hook up with somebody and they burst

494
00:21:54,200 --> 00:21:55,920
Speaker 2: into tears afterwards.

495
00:21:55,440 --> 00:21:58,560
Speaker 6: And I don't get like a reason why.

496
00:21:58,160 --> 00:22:00,360
Speaker 7: This is like the first he's so unc home, Yeah,

497
00:22:00,640 --> 00:22:02,640
Speaker 7: the first time you're meeting them, Like this is the first,

498
00:22:02,680 --> 00:22:03,760
Speaker 7: this is the first day. I remember?

499
00:22:03,840 --> 00:22:06,359
Speaker 9: That's fine, and I would feel bad for the person

500
00:22:06,400 --> 00:22:08,840
Speaker 9: and I would not send them home in the middle

501
00:22:08,880 --> 00:22:09,320
Speaker 9: of the night.

502
00:22:09,680 --> 00:22:11,919
Speaker 6: But it could be more like why did you just

503
00:22:12,080 --> 00:22:12,520
Speaker 6: burst in?

504
00:22:12,600 --> 00:22:14,800
Speaker 8: She explained it. She said, I was just sad.

505
00:22:14,880 --> 00:22:17,200
Speaker 6: No, she explained it to us, not to him.

506
00:22:17,400 --> 00:22:18,520
Speaker 7: He's like I couldn't explain it to me.

507
00:22:18,600 --> 00:22:20,680
Speaker 9: I think you let the person go to bed and

508
00:22:20,760 --> 00:22:21,960
Speaker 9: you can talk about it in the morning.

509
00:22:22,040 --> 00:22:23,040
Speaker 7: I couldn't go to sleep.

510
00:22:23,080 --> 00:22:24,600
Speaker 4: If you can't, well then you stay up.

511
00:22:24,600 --> 00:22:26,960
Speaker 6: They're going to bed, I think he did. He probably

512
00:22:26,960 --> 00:22:29,000
Speaker 6: sat out there and watched Okay, all.

513
00:22:29,160 --> 00:22:31,760
Speaker 7: I would be like, dang one, this stranger.

514
00:22:31,640 --> 00:22:37,000
Speaker 8: Dank, I'm super go home.

515
00:22:37,160 --> 00:22:37,719
Speaker 3: You cried.

516
00:22:38,400 --> 00:22:41,520
Speaker 2: I would like, clear, don't want to be here or

517
00:22:41,640 --> 00:22:46,120
Speaker 2: something's going on. I don't know, maybe you should go

518
00:22:46,240 --> 00:22:49,399
Speaker 2: home to your your bed and your home.

519
00:22:49,880 --> 00:22:52,920
Speaker 7: Very awkward, especially since I just meant this awkward.

520
00:22:53,240 --> 00:22:56,440
Speaker 9: I'm just saying we need to make sure this person's okay.

521
00:22:56,720 --> 00:22:59,840
Speaker 6: That's what would send. That's what he did in Imbri.

522
00:23:00,359 --> 00:23:04,520
Speaker 7: Yeah, I'd like, no one has said we're gonna like leave.

523
00:23:04,600 --> 00:23:06,520
Speaker 7: It's just like I'm gonna feel awkward and like if

524
00:23:06,560 --> 00:23:08,360
Speaker 7: they're gonna be sleeping in my bed, I don't think

525
00:23:08,359 --> 00:23:10,520
Speaker 7: I'd fall asleep comfortably with that person in my bed.

526
00:23:10,600 --> 00:23:12,359
Speaker 7: I'd be like, okay, well that are you. Do you

527
00:23:12,359 --> 00:23:13,720
Speaker 7: want to stay? And he did ask like do you

528
00:23:13,760 --> 00:23:14,800
Speaker 7: want to stay? Do you want to go? And she's

529
00:23:14,840 --> 00:23:16,560
Speaker 7: like I want to stay. I'm like I would also

530
00:23:16,600 --> 00:23:18,040
Speaker 7: follow up with like, do you want to stay in

531
00:23:18,040 --> 00:23:19,320
Speaker 7: the bed? Do you want to steep on the couch

532
00:23:19,359 --> 00:23:22,760
Speaker 7: because you feel you seem uncomfortable? I feel bad? Is

533
00:23:22,760 --> 00:23:23,200
Speaker 7: that okay?

534
00:23:23,280 --> 00:23:23,359
Speaker 2: Like?

535
00:23:23,400 --> 00:23:24,199
Speaker 7: What do you want to do?

536
00:23:24,560 --> 00:23:26,240
Speaker 8: So we have different reactions.

537
00:23:26,680 --> 00:23:27,320
Speaker 6: Are you sure?

538
00:23:27,520 --> 00:23:31,800
Speaker 2: I send him one more text, apologizing for what happened

539
00:23:31,840 --> 00:23:34,160
Speaker 2: and that it wasn't his fault. I was just really wasted.

540
00:23:34,240 --> 00:23:37,159
Speaker 2: He doesn't respond. I get the hint and move on

541
00:23:37,240 --> 00:23:39,760
Speaker 2: with my life. Fast forward to now. I'm in a new,

542
00:23:40,040 --> 00:23:44,760
Speaker 2: great relationship with somebody Jake from Tender. I've gotten a

543
00:23:44,760 --> 00:23:46,960
Speaker 2: good hold on my depression, and in general, I'm doing

544
00:23:47,080 --> 00:23:47,520
Speaker 2: very well.

545
00:23:47,640 --> 00:23:49,320
Speaker 6: I even got a new job.

546
00:23:49,760 --> 00:23:53,760
Speaker 2: Except I started this job two weeks ago, and guess who.

547
00:23:53,600 --> 00:23:57,040
Speaker 6: I'm working with, Eric, my one night stand.

548
00:23:57,480 --> 00:24:00,760
Speaker 2: It is obvious to everyone on my very first day

549
00:24:00,840 --> 00:24:03,399
Speaker 2: that Eric and I know each other. When people asked me,

550
00:24:03,520 --> 00:24:05,760
Speaker 2: I just brushed it aside and said I met him

551
00:24:05,880 --> 00:24:07,240
Speaker 2: randomly this summer.

552
00:24:07,359 --> 00:24:10,080
Speaker 6: Well, Eric has told everyone we work with what happened

553
00:24:10,119 --> 00:24:10,720
Speaker 6: between us.

554
00:24:11,400 --> 00:24:14,800
Speaker 2: I don't know if that classifies as a form of

555
00:24:14,840 --> 00:24:15,639
Speaker 2: harassment or not.

556
00:24:16,040 --> 00:24:18,800
Speaker 7: I guarantee this guy not I mean, depending on the context.

557
00:24:18,800 --> 00:24:21,399
Speaker 7: I guarantee this guy came in to work and be like, guys,

558
00:24:21,560 --> 00:24:23,360
Speaker 7: if you were in this situation.

559
00:24:23,000 --> 00:24:24,160
Speaker 8: It's not something you say at works.

560
00:24:24,160 --> 00:24:26,919
Speaker 9: Still, yeah, there's no reason to explain the nitty gritty

561
00:24:26,920 --> 00:24:29,240
Speaker 9: details of that to your brand new coworkers.

562
00:24:29,400 --> 00:24:30,880
Speaker 7: I don't think it was his brand new coworkers.

563
00:24:30,920 --> 00:24:32,520
Speaker 8: Did she start the job or did he start the show?

564
00:24:32,600 --> 00:24:33,360
Speaker 6: She started the job.

565
00:24:33,440 --> 00:24:36,680
Speaker 9: Okay, there's still no reason to explain that to your coworkers.

566
00:24:36,840 --> 00:24:37,479
Speaker 4: That's weird.

567
00:24:37,760 --> 00:24:40,240
Speaker 6: Well it'd be less weird if it was like that's.

568
00:24:40,040 --> 00:24:42,280
Speaker 9: Something that you go to hr together and you go, hey,

569
00:24:42,480 --> 00:24:43,640
Speaker 9: just we're just gonna put it out there.

570
00:24:43,640 --> 00:24:44,359
Speaker 8: We have a history.

571
00:24:44,680 --> 00:24:47,680
Speaker 6: I mean everyone we work with. Is probably an exaggeration.

572
00:24:48,000 --> 00:24:51,399
Speaker 2: It's probably like his coworkers whoever he's friends with, probably

573
00:24:51,480 --> 00:24:53,760
Speaker 2: heard about what happened, and then when she showed up

574
00:24:53,840 --> 00:24:56,040
Speaker 2: he went, oh my god, guys, that's her. But even

575
00:24:56,080 --> 00:24:58,080
Speaker 2: that is like, still like, why would you do that?

576
00:24:58,280 --> 00:25:00,560
Speaker 2: Like you have no it'd be more pathy for that.

577
00:25:00,600 --> 00:25:02,480
Speaker 2: This guy sounds like a bit of a tool, not

578
00:25:02,560 --> 00:25:03,320
Speaker 2: gonna lie.

579
00:25:03,160 --> 00:25:04,960
Speaker 7: Like he's like that's the girl. I'm like, ah, that's

580
00:25:05,000 --> 00:25:07,000
Speaker 7: not smart. Like you probably did talk about the situation,

581
00:25:07,080 --> 00:25:08,680
Speaker 7: but never like you said, this is who and who

582
00:25:08,720 --> 00:25:10,520
Speaker 7: he's just like, but now he's like aired it out.

583
00:25:10,640 --> 00:25:15,159
Speaker 9: Yeah yeah, when he Anderson says gossip is not an explanation.

584
00:25:15,200 --> 00:25:17,679
Speaker 6: I'm incredibly embarrassed and I feel alienated.

585
00:25:17,720 --> 00:25:21,760
Speaker 2: At my new job. People think I'm some crazy, promiscuous.

586
00:25:20,960 --> 00:25:23,280
Speaker 6: Girl who gets really wasted.

587
00:25:23,680 --> 00:25:25,960
Speaker 2: I've made one friend. She's the one who told me

588
00:25:26,000 --> 00:25:28,200
Speaker 2: about Eric's story. I don't know what to do because

589
00:25:28,320 --> 00:25:30,960
Speaker 2: Eric is not spreading a lie. He's telling everyone the

590
00:25:31,000 --> 00:25:34,080
Speaker 2: truth about what happened between us. The truth is just

591
00:25:34,240 --> 00:25:37,440
Speaker 2: dark and embarrassing for me. Once my current boyfriend, Jake

592
00:25:37,520 --> 00:25:39,200
Speaker 2: came to pick me up from work and I heard

593
00:25:39,359 --> 00:25:42,640
Speaker 2: Eric and a coworker snickering. I'm so humiliated. I feel

594
00:25:42,680 --> 00:25:44,320
Speaker 2: like I'm in high school. What can I do to

595
00:25:44,359 --> 00:25:46,920
Speaker 2: make this go away? And there are comments I would

596
00:25:47,119 --> 00:25:48,640
Speaker 2: I mean, if you have an age of art apartment,

597
00:25:48,680 --> 00:25:51,920
Speaker 2: you need to go there? Yeah, because that's actually crazy

598
00:25:52,080 --> 00:25:54,119
Speaker 2: that It's like, dude, are we in high school?

599
00:25:54,119 --> 00:25:54,199
Speaker 3: Like?

600
00:25:54,240 --> 00:25:55,360
Speaker 6: How old are you? Yeah?

601
00:25:55,359 --> 00:25:58,240
Speaker 8: We can't just work together and move on, come at one.

602
00:25:58,320 --> 00:26:01,280
Speaker 2: It's the truth and it's already there, so own it.

603
00:26:01,480 --> 00:26:04,440
Speaker 2: I assume Jake knows the situation. If not, please tell

604
00:26:04,480 --> 00:26:06,480
Speaker 2: him right away and be open about it. There's nothing

605
00:26:06,480 --> 00:26:09,200
Speaker 2: you can do to change the past, either the drunken

606
00:26:09,480 --> 00:26:12,600
Speaker 2: post spicy sleep crying or Eric telling everyone so. My

607
00:26:12,640 --> 00:26:14,760
Speaker 2: best advice is to focus on work and act as

608
00:26:14,800 --> 00:26:16,679
Speaker 2: if it's no big deal. No one is going to

609
00:26:16,720 --> 00:26:18,119
Speaker 2: come to you and make fun of you for it,

610
00:26:18,160 --> 00:26:20,000
Speaker 2: and even if they did, that would be way more

611
00:26:20,000 --> 00:26:22,120
Speaker 2: cringe worthy than what you did. I know it's way

612
00:26:22,119 --> 00:26:24,439
Speaker 2: easier said than done, but if anyone brings it up,

613
00:26:24,480 --> 00:26:25,360
Speaker 2: try to laugh it off.

614
00:26:25,400 --> 00:26:28,000
Speaker 6: If you can. Oh, well, I get really emotional about

615
00:26:28,040 --> 00:26:28,800
Speaker 6: micro bruise.

616
00:26:28,920 --> 00:26:29,560
Speaker 7: It's funny.

617
00:26:29,800 --> 00:26:33,080
Speaker 2: This will blow over, Reply says, unless the office is

618
00:26:33,119 --> 00:26:35,879
Speaker 2: really clicky and Eric is one of the popular kids.

619
00:26:36,440 --> 00:26:37,600
Speaker 6: I really don't.

620
00:26:37,359 --> 00:26:40,600
Speaker 2: Want to be a wie downer, but some workplaces live

621
00:26:40,680 --> 00:26:43,480
Speaker 2: on bullying and clicks and intimidation, and even if as

622
00:26:43,480 --> 00:26:45,760
Speaker 2: a new employee you go to HR, it's you the

623
00:26:45,840 --> 00:26:48,720
Speaker 2: consequences will come down on Ope. Hopefully your new job

624
00:26:48,760 --> 00:26:51,320
Speaker 2: isn't a place like this, but it kind of has

625
00:26:51,400 --> 00:26:52,199
Speaker 2: trappings of it.

626
00:26:52,359 --> 00:26:54,440
Speaker 6: If someone came up to me with that story.

627
00:26:54,200 --> 00:26:56,760
Speaker 2: At work, I'd say, so, you've never been wasted and

628
00:26:56,760 --> 00:26:59,160
Speaker 2: did something embarrassing, not even once, and shut it down.

629
00:26:59,280 --> 00:27:01,199
Speaker 6: I would still go to HR I don't know.

630
00:27:01,480 --> 00:27:02,879
Speaker 9: I think you can still go to HR to at

631
00:27:02,960 --> 00:27:05,240
Speaker 9: least have it just like on the record, even if

632
00:27:05,240 --> 00:27:07,160
Speaker 9: you're like you're like, oh, I don't want to push

633
00:27:07,240 --> 00:27:09,480
Speaker 9: this any further, but like, can I just document this

634
00:27:09,520 --> 00:27:12,120
Speaker 9: to you in case like this continues to happen kind

635
00:27:12,119 --> 00:27:12,520
Speaker 9: of thing.

636
00:27:12,560 --> 00:27:14,440
Speaker 6: I think you can. You can kind of you either

637
00:27:14,480 --> 00:27:16,520
Speaker 6: own it or you just ignore it. Those are your

638
00:27:16,560 --> 00:27:18,480
Speaker 6: two options on a personal.

639
00:27:18,160 --> 00:27:22,560
Speaker 7: Level conversation with Eric, like, hey, elfin in the room here. Yeah,

640
00:27:22,600 --> 00:27:25,560
Speaker 7: I'm gonna be working here. Let's let's make things civil,

641
00:27:25,800 --> 00:27:26,960
Speaker 7: you know's be adults.

642
00:27:27,080 --> 00:27:30,320
Speaker 2: I think I would have that conversation through HR with

643
00:27:30,440 --> 00:27:32,000
Speaker 2: theator present.

644
00:27:31,800 --> 00:27:33,119
Speaker 7: Yeah, the three of you. I think that would be

645
00:27:33,160 --> 00:27:33,800
Speaker 7: the smartest thing.

646
00:27:33,880 --> 00:27:35,879
Speaker 2: Comment two says, give it time. By next week, this

647
00:27:35,920 --> 00:27:38,080
Speaker 2: will be last week's story. Just told your head high

648
00:27:38,080 --> 00:27:40,119
Speaker 2: and remember how far you've come, and people will forget.

649
00:27:40,160 --> 00:27:41,840
Speaker 2: And if Eric keeps bringing it up, you go straight

650
00:27:41,880 --> 00:27:44,000
Speaker 2: to HR. Comment three says, why is he bringing up

651
00:27:44,080 --> 00:27:47,080
Speaker 2: your mutual one night stand at coworkers? That seems really

652
00:27:47,119 --> 00:27:50,119
Speaker 2: inappropriate on Eric's end. If he keeps making it an issue,

653
00:27:50,119 --> 00:27:54,600
Speaker 2: you need to bring this situation to HR. This is harassment, IMO,

654
00:27:54,920 --> 00:27:57,639
Speaker 2: keep your head up, stay as professional as you can be,

655
00:27:57,880 --> 00:28:00,719
Speaker 2: and you'll get to know your co workers as time progresses,

656
00:28:00,840 --> 00:28:03,679
Speaker 2: and they'll get to know you reply, says one theory.

657
00:28:03,840 --> 00:28:06,560
Speaker 2: He mentioned this after the initial crying incident happened, and

658
00:28:06,560 --> 00:28:08,440
Speaker 2: then sees Op at work and goes to his work

659
00:28:08,480 --> 00:28:11,120
Speaker 2: buddies and says, oh my god, Gods, remember at Chuk

660
00:28:11,119 --> 00:28:13,080
Speaker 2: who cried after we had those passes sleep.

661
00:28:13,240 --> 00:28:16,000
Speaker 6: He's the new girl. She cried because you're so bad

662
00:28:16,040 --> 00:28:16,359
Speaker 6: at it.

663
00:28:16,640 --> 00:28:18,400
Speaker 9: Yeah, I mean fully, if he wants to just keep

664
00:28:18,400 --> 00:28:21,520
Speaker 9: being mean little baby about it at work, pretty easy,

665
00:28:21,520 --> 00:28:22,280
Speaker 9: come back right there?

666
00:28:22,440 --> 00:28:25,879
Speaker 2: Update what Thanks to everyone who responded to my original post.

667
00:28:26,240 --> 00:28:28,000
Speaker 2: Most of you told me to keep my head high

668
00:28:28,080 --> 00:28:30,320
Speaker 2: and own what happened and focus on my work, and

669
00:28:30,359 --> 00:28:32,920
Speaker 2: that's exactly what I did. To those of you reminding

670
00:28:32,960 --> 00:28:35,600
Speaker 2: me to tell my boyfriend, I actually already had and

671
00:28:35,600 --> 00:28:37,920
Speaker 2: he was supportive and sympathetic to my situation.

672
00:28:38,080 --> 00:28:38,720
Speaker 7: Good boyfriend.

673
00:28:38,760 --> 00:28:40,440
Speaker 6: You guys were right. I just had to wait for

674
00:28:40,480 --> 00:28:41,200
Speaker 6: things to blow over.

675
00:28:41,240 --> 00:28:43,320
Speaker 2: It's been about two weeks since I posted and one

676
00:28:43,320 --> 00:28:45,320
Speaker 2: month since I started my new job. I made a

677
00:28:45,360 --> 00:28:48,560
Speaker 2: really diligent effort to be really helpful, friendly and hard working,

678
00:28:48,560 --> 00:28:51,320
Speaker 2: and it worked I'm getting along with all my coworkers now,

679
00:28:51,360 --> 00:28:52,160
Speaker 2: including Eric.

680
00:28:52,320 --> 00:28:54,760
Speaker 6: I no longer feel paranoid that people are whispering about

681
00:28:54,800 --> 00:28:56,120
Speaker 6: me being crazy or anything.

682
00:28:56,200 --> 00:28:58,920
Speaker 2: In fact, what inspired me to write this post was

683
00:28:58,960 --> 00:29:01,000
Speaker 2: that Eric and I had been signed to tackle a

684
00:29:01,080 --> 00:29:03,720
Speaker 2: project together. Yesterday, we both had to stay late to

685
00:29:03,760 --> 00:29:06,200
Speaker 2: wrap up a presentation we'd been working on for a while,

686
00:29:06,280 --> 00:29:08,400
Speaker 2: which was the first time we had ever actually been

687
00:29:08,440 --> 00:29:11,960
Speaker 2: alone besides well for the time we had the spiciously.

688
00:29:12,120 --> 00:29:14,280
Speaker 2: I was nervous about it, but determine to just focus

689
00:29:14,320 --> 00:29:15,800
Speaker 2: on work and get through it. Where We had a

690
00:29:15,800 --> 00:29:19,120
Speaker 2: little downtime while we were uploading our presentation slash video

691
00:29:19,200 --> 00:29:21,720
Speaker 2: to the server and we started chatting, at which point

692
00:29:21,840 --> 00:29:24,880
Speaker 2: I made a self deprecating joke, if this thing crashes,

693
00:29:25,080 --> 00:29:28,239
Speaker 2: I might just burst into tears again. He laughed at that,

694
00:29:28,360 --> 00:29:31,640
Speaker 2: and we ended up clearing the air. He first started

695
00:29:31,640 --> 00:29:34,400
Speaker 2: by apologizing if he or anyone at work had made

696
00:29:34,440 --> 00:29:38,040
Speaker 2: me uncomfortable, and then described our tender incident last summer,

697
00:29:38,080 --> 00:29:41,400
Speaker 2: but from his perspective, basically he had actually just downloaded

698
00:29:41,400 --> 00:29:43,640
Speaker 2: Tinder that week over the summer. When we started talking,

699
00:29:44,000 --> 00:29:45,720
Speaker 2: I was the first person he had ever talked to

700
00:29:45,880 --> 00:29:47,640
Speaker 2: or gone on a date with through the app. His

701
00:29:47,720 --> 00:29:49,720
Speaker 2: work friends were actually the ones who encouraged him to

702
00:29:49,760 --> 00:29:51,720
Speaker 2: download it, so they knew about me and our planned

703
00:29:51,800 --> 00:29:53,960
Speaker 2: date almost from the beginning. They were actually the ones

704
00:29:53,960 --> 00:29:56,880
Speaker 2: who suggested the Bruce Ski festival. So we have our

705
00:29:56,960 --> 00:29:59,960
Speaker 2: date and it goes horribly, and of course on Monday,

706
00:30:00,000 --> 00:30:02,600
Speaker 2: everyone's asking him how it goes, and he basically explains

707
00:30:02,600 --> 00:30:04,680
Speaker 2: to him what happened, and they all laugh off the

708
00:30:04,680 --> 00:30:07,080
Speaker 2: situation with how awful that must have been, and how

709
00:30:07,080 --> 00:30:09,280
Speaker 2: it sucks that that was his first daid and maybe

710
00:30:09,280 --> 00:30:10,520
Speaker 2: tender just isn't for him.

711
00:30:10,360 --> 00:30:12,320
Speaker 6: Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.

712
00:30:12,360 --> 00:30:15,080
Speaker 2: So when I first started working there, they all already

713
00:30:15,160 --> 00:30:17,600
Speaker 2: knew who I was from way back in the summer,

714
00:30:17,720 --> 00:30:19,880
Speaker 2: which is actually kind of a relief because it means

715
00:30:20,000 --> 00:30:22,840
Speaker 2: Eric didn't immediately see me and spill the beans to

716
00:30:22,880 --> 00:30:26,560
Speaker 2: everyone like some duty man. Eric and I then cleared

717
00:30:26,600 --> 00:30:28,720
Speaker 2: the air and said that from getting to know me

718
00:30:28,800 --> 00:30:32,200
Speaker 2: over the last month, I seemed very cool and professional,

719
00:30:32,600 --> 00:30:35,080
Speaker 2: and he hopes there is no ill will between us.

720
00:30:35,240 --> 00:30:38,520
Speaker 2: I said, definitely not. I don't blame him for what happened.

721
00:30:38,600 --> 00:30:40,880
Speaker 2: I explained very briefly about how I was just in

722
00:30:40,920 --> 00:30:42,680
Speaker 2: a bad place when I met him that summer from

723
00:30:42,720 --> 00:30:45,120
Speaker 2: losing my job and just drank too much, and he

724
00:30:45,160 --> 00:30:47,720
Speaker 2: said not to worry about it, and he totally understands.

725
00:30:47,880 --> 00:30:50,080
Speaker 6: I'm just glad we were able to address the elephant

726
00:30:50,080 --> 00:30:52,440
Speaker 6: in the room. Also about the one friend I had

727
00:30:52,440 --> 00:30:54,960
Speaker 6: made previously who told me what Eric was saying. She

728
00:30:55,040 --> 00:30:58,640
Speaker 6: actually is relatively new to the office also and wasn't

729
00:30:58,840 --> 00:31:02,600
Speaker 6: around last summer when this thing happened, So from her perspective,

730
00:31:02,800 --> 00:31:05,760
Speaker 6: it looked like Eric was spreading a fresh rumor when

731
00:31:05,800 --> 00:31:09,400
Speaker 6: in actuality, people were discussing stuff they had already known. So, yeah,

732
00:31:09,600 --> 00:31:11,920
Speaker 6: things are good, and that is the Internet story.

733
00:31:12,160 --> 00:31:14,080
Speaker 9: So they low key did bring it up again, but

734
00:31:14,240 --> 00:31:16,400
Speaker 9: just in like, oh my god, you rubber this kind

735
00:31:16,400 --> 00:31:16,760
Speaker 9: of way.

736
00:31:16,840 --> 00:31:18,120
Speaker 7: Yeah, it was more like adult you know.

737
00:31:18,120 --> 00:31:20,080
Speaker 9: It was very like I still think the airstream and

738
00:31:20,120 --> 00:31:22,840
Speaker 9: cleared before that was going around the office. Maybe like

739
00:31:22,920 --> 00:31:26,000
Speaker 9: when she got there, new people that don't know the

740
00:31:26,040 --> 00:31:29,400
Speaker 9: story shouldn't necessarily have been getting clued into it that

741
00:31:29,520 --> 00:31:31,400
Speaker 9: quickly in the office, like you can talk with your

742
00:31:31,440 --> 00:31:33,840
Speaker 9: buddies that know about it, but if new people are

743
00:31:33,920 --> 00:31:36,440
Speaker 9: learning about it, we're still retelling the whole story.

744
00:31:36,680 --> 00:31:39,600
Speaker 6: Yeah, I mean, it's it's gotta spread around.

745
00:31:39,760 --> 00:31:42,280
Speaker 8: It doesn't it doesn't have to spread around.

746
00:31:42,440 --> 00:31:45,440
Speaker 6: Well, I mean it doesn't have to. Have you worked

747
00:31:45,480 --> 00:31:46,200
Speaker 6: in her office.

748
00:31:46,320 --> 00:31:49,240
Speaker 8: I've worked in many offices, rumors don't have to.

749
00:31:49,240 --> 00:31:50,080
Speaker 3: Go around to them.

750
00:31:50,320 --> 00:31:52,200
Speaker 6: You know that they do, but they don't you know

751
00:31:53,000 --> 00:31:54,160
Speaker 6: exactly how they do.

752
00:31:54,360 --> 00:31:57,200
Speaker 9: I think that you can bring just your bros aside.

753
00:31:57,440 --> 00:32:00,320
Speaker 9: It's almost like a little chat and the new people

754
00:32:00,320 --> 00:32:00,920
Speaker 9: don't hear it.

755
00:32:01,000 --> 00:32:03,280
Speaker 2: I agree that it doesn't have to, but it's like

756
00:32:03,320 --> 00:32:06,680
Speaker 2: one of those it's one of those things where it's like,

757
00:32:06,800 --> 00:32:09,280
Speaker 2: if it doesn't, that would be miraculous.

758
00:32:09,400 --> 00:32:12,360
Speaker 9: Everybody could just be a little bit bitter about their

759
00:32:12,480 --> 00:32:14,160
Speaker 9: their hot goss in the office.

760
00:32:14,520 --> 00:32:14,920
Speaker 6: Yeah.

761
00:32:14,960 --> 00:32:17,400
Speaker 2: Well, I assume if people knew that he was on

762
00:32:17,520 --> 00:32:20,040
Speaker 2: that app and that he was going on a date,

763
00:32:20,120 --> 00:32:22,960
Speaker 2: that people had probably seen her profile pictures as well.

764
00:32:23,040 --> 00:32:23,680
Speaker 6: Because it's like.

765
00:32:25,600 --> 00:32:28,240
Speaker 2: And it's like, so even if he didn't say anything,

766
00:32:28,320 --> 00:32:31,480
Speaker 2: people could have recognized her without him being involved.

767
00:32:31,560 --> 00:32:32,160
Speaker 8: That's fine.

768
00:32:32,400 --> 00:32:35,120
Speaker 2: So that I say, it just becomes I know, it's

769
00:32:35,120 --> 00:32:36,719
Speaker 2: not what you're saying. I'm just saying it's once when

770
00:32:36,800 --> 00:32:38,520
Speaker 2: so many people already know about this thing. It's like

771
00:32:38,520 --> 00:32:40,760
Speaker 2: it's an organic It's almost like an organism.

772
00:32:40,920 --> 00:32:43,440
Speaker 8: I need a woman in this story.

773
00:32:43,600 --> 00:32:47,800
Speaker 6: I'm not saying it's good. I'm just saying what I'm not.

774
00:32:47,920 --> 00:32:50,280
Speaker 2: I'm not saying that and we should all be happy

775
00:32:50,280 --> 00:32:52,840
Speaker 2: about it. I'm just saying, that's why it happens.

776
00:32:52,920 --> 00:32:54,560
Speaker 7: All right. We have another story coming up.

777
00:32:54,800 --> 00:32:56,000
Speaker 1: It's johnio og host here.

778
00:32:56,000 --> 00:32:57,320
Speaker 2: We're going to get back to the stories, but he's

779
00:32:57,320 --> 00:32:59,200
Speaker 2: a quick three minute break of ass from our sponsors.

780
00:32:59,800 --> 00:33:03,120
Speaker 9: My boyfriend dreads the idea of proposing to me.

781
00:33:03,560 --> 00:33:05,520
Speaker 6: Wow, that's that's a hard one.

782
00:33:05,680 --> 00:33:08,200
Speaker 9: I am a thirty female and I have been with

783
00:33:08,240 --> 00:33:10,560
Speaker 9: my thirty nine male boyfriend.

784
00:33:10,160 --> 00:33:11,720
Speaker 4: For eight years.

785
00:33:12,440 --> 00:33:13,440
Speaker 8: I do not want.

786
00:33:13,400 --> 00:33:15,720
Speaker 9: Kids and he supports this, but I would like to

787
00:33:15,760 --> 00:33:18,160
Speaker 9: be married soon. We have been open with each other

788
00:33:18,240 --> 00:33:20,640
Speaker 9: about wanting to get married since day one, and we

789
00:33:20,720 --> 00:33:23,360
Speaker 9: have lived together for four and a half years. At

790
00:33:23,400 --> 00:33:26,200
Speaker 9: the four year mark, I brought up getting engaged and

791
00:33:26,240 --> 00:33:29,160
Speaker 9: he said it wasn't the right time because once engaged,

792
00:33:29,440 --> 00:33:32,080
Speaker 9: he wants us to be married within a year. However,

793
00:33:32,160 --> 00:33:34,760
Speaker 9: he felt like things were too busy with work, et cetera.

794
00:33:35,000 --> 00:33:37,440
Speaker 9: By the way, this comes from Blue Ams and if

795
00:33:37,440 --> 00:33:39,120
Speaker 9: you want us to make your own stories, go to

796
00:33:39,120 --> 00:33:41,760
Speaker 9: the r slash Okay Storytime Subredd and we're here to

797
00:33:41,760 --> 00:33:42,560
Speaker 9: give good advice.

798
00:33:42,600 --> 00:33:44,800
Speaker 8: Goofully. But we don't have all the answers.

799
00:33:44,840 --> 00:33:46,360
Speaker 9: We only know what we would do, So let us

800
00:33:46,400 --> 00:33:48,640
Speaker 9: know what you would do in the comment and Opie says.

801
00:33:49,040 --> 00:33:51,080
Speaker 9: Then the next year, I brought it up again, and

802
00:33:51,240 --> 00:33:53,840
Speaker 9: same thing. A year after that, we were talking about

803
00:33:53,920 --> 00:33:56,800
Speaker 9: rings and I showed him the fifteen hundred dollars ring.

804
00:33:56,760 --> 00:33:57,719
Speaker 8: I wanted on Etsy.

805
00:33:57,920 --> 00:33:59,960
Speaker 9: He liked the design and I sent him the lane,

806
00:34:00,200 --> 00:34:02,400
Speaker 9: but I didn't set a timeline or anything, but he

807
00:34:02,440 --> 00:34:05,400
Speaker 9: seemed hesitant and said he wanted a perfect proposal. I

808
00:34:05,440 --> 00:34:08,040
Speaker 9: told him it doesn't need to be an extravagant proposal

809
00:34:08,200 --> 00:34:10,920
Speaker 9: and could be very simple. Last year, I brought up

810
00:34:10,920 --> 00:34:13,799
Speaker 9: this topic again and he said the proposal was too

811
00:34:13,920 --> 00:34:18,640
Speaker 9: much pressure and he would rather skip ahead to the wedding.

812
00:34:19,200 --> 00:34:22,440
Speaker 6: What how does this guy exist in real life? What

813
00:34:22,480 --> 00:34:22,919
Speaker 6: do you mean?

814
00:34:23,080 --> 00:34:25,000
Speaker 8: I really don't want to ask you to marry me.

815
00:34:25,040 --> 00:34:26,120
Speaker 8: I think we should just get married.

816
00:34:26,360 --> 00:34:28,640
Speaker 6: Yeah, I think working is too much pressure. Can we

817
00:34:28,680 --> 00:34:29,880
Speaker 6: skip to getting a promotion?

818
00:34:30,000 --> 00:34:30,320
Speaker 2: Please?

819
00:34:30,760 --> 00:34:32,319
Speaker 8: I think we should just skip all of it. We're

820
00:34:32,320 --> 00:34:32,879
Speaker 8: just married them.

821
00:34:33,040 --> 00:34:35,479
Speaker 6: Oh, no, watching the game is too much. I'm gonna

822
00:34:35,480 --> 00:34:37,439
Speaker 6: skip to the end and just see the score. There's

823
00:34:37,480 --> 00:34:38,000
Speaker 6: too much.

824
00:34:38,239 --> 00:34:41,640
Speaker 9: So even though I didn't completely understand his hang up,

825
00:34:41,760 --> 00:34:44,960
Speaker 9: he's very confident and not an anxious man. I started

826
00:34:44,960 --> 00:34:48,120
Speaker 9: looking up wedding venues and getting excited. Then he shut

827
00:34:48,160 --> 00:34:50,319
Speaker 9: it down and said it was too much, and to

828
00:34:50,440 --> 00:34:55,240
Speaker 9: ask him in six months what she's not asking you, buddy,

829
00:34:55,719 --> 00:34:57,560
Speaker 9: You're supposed to ask her what's.

830
00:34:57,400 --> 00:34:59,160
Speaker 6: Gonna be different six months from now?

831
00:34:59,160 --> 00:35:02,040
Speaker 2: You've been together for eight years or was it even

832
00:35:02,120 --> 00:35:03,280
Speaker 2: longer eight years?

833
00:35:03,560 --> 00:35:06,640
Speaker 6: If you don't know, I think you would by now.

834
00:35:06,840 --> 00:35:09,800
Speaker 9: I waited twelve months because he got injured around the

835
00:35:09,840 --> 00:35:10,640
Speaker 9: six months mark.

836
00:35:10,960 --> 00:35:13,200
Speaker 8: Lately, he's been having more issues with me.

837
00:35:13,360 --> 00:35:16,680
Speaker 9: He doesn't like my new hiking and backpacking hobby. It

838
00:35:16,680 --> 00:35:20,440
Speaker 9: feels like I don't prioritize him, saying he's an afterthought

839
00:35:20,520 --> 00:35:23,239
Speaker 9: and that this was an issue in his last long

840
00:35:23,360 --> 00:35:27,399
Speaker 9: term relationship too, and bringing up problems that I thought

841
00:35:27,440 --> 00:35:30,840
Speaker 9: we solved from years ago. We're bringing up our last

842
00:35:30,840 --> 00:35:33,160
Speaker 9: long term relationship after eight years.

843
00:35:33,560 --> 00:35:37,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, like you are your guys' last long term relationship ry,

844
00:35:37,320 --> 00:35:37,920
Speaker 2: Like we're.

845
00:35:37,719 --> 00:35:38,719
Speaker 4: Currently in it.

846
00:35:39,200 --> 00:35:42,560
Speaker 6: Come on, he was the best guy.

847
00:35:44,440 --> 00:35:47,120
Speaker 9: I feel like I am a great girlfriend, but he

848
00:35:47,160 --> 00:35:50,880
Speaker 9: has high expectations. I'm starting individual therapy to work on

849
00:35:50,960 --> 00:35:54,080
Speaker 9: myself because I'm feeling like I'm not good enough, et cetera.

850
00:35:54,360 --> 00:35:57,920
Speaker 9: Last week, I brought up engagement and marriage in couples

851
00:35:58,040 --> 00:36:00,680
Speaker 9: therapy and how I'm worried he's not going to commit

852
00:36:00,680 --> 00:36:03,200
Speaker 9: to me because he isn't happy and has all these

853
00:36:03,239 --> 00:36:06,480
Speaker 9: issues with me. He got super upset and defensive and

854
00:36:06,520 --> 00:36:09,480
Speaker 9: said he's dreading the proposal but excited to be married

855
00:36:09,480 --> 00:36:12,279
Speaker 9: to me. He said he'd go to the courthouse tomorrow,

856
00:36:12,480 --> 00:36:15,319
Speaker 9: but he basically said there will not be a proposal.

857
00:36:15,800 --> 00:36:18,520
Speaker 9: I even said he could propose on the couch at home,

858
00:36:18,760 --> 00:36:21,239
Speaker 9: but I just wanted him to ask. I don't want

859
00:36:21,320 --> 00:36:24,240
Speaker 9: to ask him. He even brought up an excuse, saying

860
00:36:24,360 --> 00:36:28,080
Speaker 9: I don't like to wear rings, which is true because

861
00:36:28,080 --> 00:36:30,000
Speaker 9: I work with my hands for my job. But I've

862
00:36:30,040 --> 00:36:32,800
Speaker 9: said for many years that I will wear the engagement

863
00:36:32,800 --> 00:36:35,160
Speaker 9: and wedding rings, but maybe put a silicone ring on

864
00:36:35,239 --> 00:36:35,680
Speaker 9: at work.

865
00:36:35,800 --> 00:36:37,880
Speaker 6: This is insane. This guy's add to like he's like

866
00:36:37,920 --> 00:36:38,959
Speaker 6: a five year old.

867
00:36:39,080 --> 00:36:41,120
Speaker 4: He's like, I don't want to do it.

868
00:36:41,480 --> 00:36:44,120
Speaker 2: She said something and then now it's like it's like

869
00:36:44,200 --> 00:36:46,000
Speaker 2: imagine like a five year old wo at night ice

870
00:36:46,040 --> 00:36:48,200
Speaker 2: cream or like so, I don't know, it's just like

871
00:36:48,320 --> 00:36:50,440
Speaker 2: it's just because he said, like, oh, I can't do it,

872
00:36:50,600 --> 00:36:52,600
Speaker 2: and now you're like you can literally just do Like

873
00:36:52,719 --> 00:36:53,560
Speaker 2: there's too much pressure.

874
00:36:53,560 --> 00:36:55,080
Speaker 6: I can't do it. You can do it on the couch.

875
00:36:57,080 --> 00:36:59,799
Speaker 9: You're already telling this man that you will be saying yes,

876
00:37:00,280 --> 00:37:02,200
Speaker 9: so there shouldn't be any pressure.

877
00:37:02,520 --> 00:37:04,440
Speaker 4: Yeah, like you have your answer already.

878
00:37:04,520 --> 00:37:07,760
Speaker 8: He's like, I'll marry you tomorrow. But I just can't ask.

879
00:37:07,560 --> 00:37:08,120
Speaker 3: You to marry me.

880
00:37:08,440 --> 00:37:12,080
Speaker 9: I can't accu Our therapist suggested we should try focusing

881
00:37:12,120 --> 00:37:13,399
Speaker 9: on just the marriage part.

882
00:37:13,560 --> 00:37:15,480
Speaker 8: It was a really frustrating conversation.

883
00:37:15,800 --> 00:37:18,840
Speaker 9: I appreciate my boyfriend reassuring me that he wants to

884
00:37:18,880 --> 00:37:19,640
Speaker 9: be with me and.

885
00:37:19,719 --> 00:37:21,399
Speaker 8: Is serious about marrying me, But.

886
00:37:21,560 --> 00:37:24,600
Speaker 9: After I waited another year to bring this up and

887
00:37:24,640 --> 00:37:27,279
Speaker 9: then to have him get so mad and make excuses,

888
00:37:27,480 --> 00:37:30,560
Speaker 9: I'm really questioning things. I know he loves me, and

889
00:37:30,600 --> 00:37:32,839
Speaker 9: I have accepted that he is stubborn, but I don't

890
00:37:32,840 --> 00:37:36,320
Speaker 9: think I'm being unreasonable for wanting a proposal. It hurts

891
00:37:36,360 --> 00:37:39,160
Speaker 9: to hear that he's dreading the proposal. Plus it's a

892
00:37:39,200 --> 00:37:41,319
Speaker 9: tough pill to swallow, and knowing there won't be a

893
00:37:41,320 --> 00:37:44,000
Speaker 9: proposal when I made it clear I want one. I'm

894
00:37:44,000 --> 00:37:47,000
Speaker 9: in a weird spot because now anything I do or

895
00:37:47,080 --> 00:37:50,480
Speaker 9: say moving forward in relation to wedding planning will feel

896
00:37:50,480 --> 00:37:53,680
Speaker 9: like I'm forcing him. How should I proceed going to

897
00:37:53,719 --> 00:37:56,239
Speaker 9: the courthouse after all of this doesn't feel right?

898
00:37:56,360 --> 00:37:58,160
Speaker 8: But maybe I need to change my mindset.

899
00:37:58,320 --> 00:37:59,920
Speaker 9: I also do not think he will take it in

900
00:38:00,000 --> 00:38:02,600
Speaker 9: initiative and ask me to go to the courthouse.

901
00:38:02,840 --> 00:38:03,680
Speaker 8: On Reddit, I.

902
00:38:03,640 --> 00:38:07,360
Speaker 9: See other couple skipping the proposal, eloping, and being happy

903
00:38:07,360 --> 00:38:09,759
Speaker 9: in their marriage. But I've also seen a lot of

904
00:38:09,800 --> 00:38:13,080
Speaker 9: posts advising women to leave the relationship. I have some

905
00:38:13,200 --> 00:38:15,680
Speaker 9: friends saying to just let go of the proposal, and

906
00:38:15,760 --> 00:38:19,040
Speaker 9: other friends saying, my boyfriend's on thin ice looking for

907
00:38:19,160 --> 00:38:22,239
Speaker 9: some kind and honest advice. Thank you, And we have

908
00:38:22,320 --> 00:38:25,640
Speaker 9: some comments. But what's your kind and honest advice?

909
00:38:25,920 --> 00:38:28,640
Speaker 2: I think you just go all right, Hey, you don't

910
00:38:28,640 --> 00:38:30,319
Speaker 2: want to propose, we're not getting married.

911
00:38:30,400 --> 00:38:30,600
Speaker 6: Fine.

912
00:38:30,640 --> 00:38:31,960
Speaker 2: I know you want to be married so bad. We're

913
00:38:32,000 --> 00:38:33,640
Speaker 2: not going to do it without a proposal. Ye, same

914
00:38:33,640 --> 00:38:36,400
Speaker 2: way that you're not going to propose. Fine, I'm not

915
00:38:36,400 --> 00:38:39,080
Speaker 2: going to get married without a proposal. Boom, I guess

916
00:38:39,120 --> 00:38:39,880
Speaker 2: we're not gett married.

917
00:38:39,880 --> 00:38:41,919
Speaker 9: That one kind of just goes back to ope again.

918
00:38:41,960 --> 00:38:44,120
Speaker 8: Though Opie wants to get married.

919
00:38:43,960 --> 00:38:44,799
Speaker 6: Do are you sure?

920
00:38:44,960 --> 00:38:48,440
Speaker 2: But like, if this guy refuses to propose to you,

921
00:38:48,800 --> 00:38:50,239
Speaker 2: will you get married to this guy?

922
00:38:50,400 --> 00:38:50,480
Speaker 9: No?

923
00:38:50,840 --> 00:38:53,040
Speaker 2: I think he's so so I don't think that's I

924
00:38:53,080 --> 00:38:54,360
Speaker 2: don't know if that's in the cards.

925
00:38:54,560 --> 00:38:56,520
Speaker 9: Crazy that you're asking him to do something and you

926
00:38:56,680 --> 00:39:00,200
Speaker 9: literally told him that he can do the like simplest, easiest.

927
00:39:00,400 --> 00:39:03,160
Speaker 8: You can sit on the couch next.

928
00:39:02,840 --> 00:39:04,799
Speaker 9: To me and ask me and I will say yes

929
00:39:04,880 --> 00:39:05,759
Speaker 9: and that will be enough.

930
00:39:05,800 --> 00:39:07,680
Speaker 8: And he's like, I can't do that.

931
00:39:07,960 --> 00:39:10,200
Speaker 6: Yeah, but now you're telling me to do it. Now

932
00:39:10,239 --> 00:39:12,319
Speaker 6: I can't do it. I can't do it. I've been

933
00:39:12,640 --> 00:39:14,799
Speaker 6: I've been told that you would like it, so I

934
00:39:14,840 --> 00:39:15,480
Speaker 6: won't do it.

935
00:39:15,560 --> 00:39:19,279
Speaker 9: Comments aggravating ad eighty one fifty says sorry, op but

936
00:39:19,440 --> 00:39:22,040
Speaker 9: I'm not liking the looks of this. You've been very

937
00:39:22,040 --> 00:39:24,560
Speaker 9: clear about what you want, but instead of finding ways

938
00:39:24,600 --> 00:39:27,360
Speaker 9: to give it to you, your boyfriend is stalling, making

939
00:39:27,440 --> 00:39:31,160
Speaker 9: excuses and breadcrumbing you by saying he wants marriage but

940
00:39:31,280 --> 00:39:33,960
Speaker 9: do nothing about it. All he's offering is a perfunctory

941
00:39:34,000 --> 00:39:38,040
Speaker 9: courthouse marriage, and it's clear that you'd like at least

942
00:39:38,080 --> 00:39:42,239
Speaker 9: a little more nice proposal ring, which isn't unreasonable. You're

943
00:39:42,320 --> 00:39:44,640
Speaker 9: being shut down and put on the defensive when you

944
00:39:44,719 --> 00:39:47,840
Speaker 9: try to discuss this with him. You're making yourself smaller

945
00:39:47,880 --> 00:39:50,680
Speaker 9: and asking for less and less, trying to appease him.

946
00:39:50,920 --> 00:39:53,920
Speaker 9: And now after four point five.

947
00:39:53,840 --> 00:39:59,160
Speaker 2: Eight years, four and a half, eight years, after forty

948
00:39:59,200 --> 00:40:01,240
Speaker 2: four years, suddenly.

949
00:40:00,800 --> 00:40:02,759
Speaker 8: He's finding all sorts of faults with you.

950
00:40:03,360 --> 00:40:05,399
Speaker 9: And they edited to update the timeline, so I guess

951
00:40:05,480 --> 00:40:06,600
Speaker 9: that was four and a half.

952
00:40:06,480 --> 00:40:07,479
Speaker 8: Updated to eight years.

953
00:40:07,520 --> 00:40:11,200
Speaker 9: Ask yourself, are these actions of a loving partner not?

954
00:40:11,320 --> 00:40:13,320
Speaker 9: In my book? They aren't, and we have a judgment

955
00:40:13,360 --> 00:40:16,319
Speaker 9: of not the a whole and an update six weeks later,

956
00:40:16,360 --> 00:40:18,480
Speaker 9: and I did accidentally read the first sentence.

957
00:40:18,719 --> 00:40:19,280
Speaker 6: I didn't.

958
00:40:19,440 --> 00:40:19,760
Speaker 3: Great.

959
00:40:19,800 --> 00:40:22,560
Speaker 9: Then you give us your advice and guess where this

960
00:40:22,680 --> 00:40:23,040
Speaker 9: is going.

961
00:40:23,200 --> 00:40:25,279
Speaker 8: Divorce, they're not married.

962
00:40:25,120 --> 00:40:29,920
Speaker 3: Prevorce, divorce, they get married and they break up immediately.

963
00:40:30,120 --> 00:40:32,759
Speaker 2: I think it really is telling though, Like I think

964
00:40:32,800 --> 00:40:35,680
Speaker 2: this is and it's very common. I think in very

965
00:40:35,800 --> 00:40:41,200
Speaker 2: long term like comfortable relationships, and one party maybe is

966
00:40:41,239 --> 00:40:43,879
Speaker 2: like I'm done, but they just can't say it because

967
00:40:43,920 --> 00:40:46,160
Speaker 2: they're like afraid whatever you want to call it.

968
00:40:46,200 --> 00:40:47,080
Speaker 8: They're eight years in.

969
00:40:47,239 --> 00:40:50,040
Speaker 9: I feel like they started to feel obligations, like, yeah,

970
00:40:50,040 --> 00:40:51,000
Speaker 9: it's just something that I.

971
00:40:51,000 --> 00:40:51,959
Speaker 8: Have to do now.

972
00:40:52,239 --> 00:40:54,759
Speaker 2: So at this point, this guy's like, I can't, I'm

973
00:40:54,800 --> 00:40:57,919
Speaker 2: not going to propose, and no. His excuses like because

974
00:40:57,920 --> 00:40:59,360
Speaker 2: it just be too much, But it feels like the

975
00:40:59,400 --> 00:41:01,719
Speaker 2: real reason is he's like, because because I can't be.

976
00:41:01,680 --> 00:41:02,160
Speaker 6: Married to you.

977
00:41:02,280 --> 00:41:04,080
Speaker 9: I also see a lot of commenters being like, why

978
00:41:04,160 --> 00:41:05,800
Speaker 9: does it always have to be the man who asks?

979
00:41:05,920 --> 00:41:06,520
Speaker 8: It doesn't.

980
00:41:06,560 --> 00:41:09,279
Speaker 9: But when your partner comes to you and expresses, this

981
00:41:09,320 --> 00:41:11,759
Speaker 9: is something that I've really looked forward to, and this

982
00:41:11,800 --> 00:41:14,160
Speaker 9: is something that I feel that I really want and

983
00:41:14,200 --> 00:41:16,759
Speaker 9: would like make me really happy and be something that

984
00:41:16,840 --> 00:41:19,520
Speaker 9: I would personally need to go forward with it, then

985
00:41:19,600 --> 00:41:22,000
Speaker 9: it's really not that hard of a thing to do. Still,

986
00:41:22,120 --> 00:41:24,279
Speaker 9: you could do it sitting on the couch, Like she's

987
00:41:24,320 --> 00:41:26,719
Speaker 9: not asking for you to spend like a ton of elaborate,

988
00:41:26,760 --> 00:41:27,640
Speaker 9: crazy proposals.

989
00:41:27,680 --> 00:41:31,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, this isn't about him having to ask because he's

990
00:41:31,120 --> 00:41:33,799
Speaker 2: the man. It's about him having to ask because she's like,

991
00:41:33,960 --> 00:41:36,840
Speaker 2: it's just I just would like it, right, And it's like,

992
00:41:37,400 --> 00:41:39,680
Speaker 2: I'm not asking you to ask me on a trip

993
00:41:39,719 --> 00:41:40,400
Speaker 2: to the moon.

994
00:41:40,760 --> 00:41:43,120
Speaker 6: I'm asking you to ask me on the couch.

995
00:41:43,480 --> 00:41:46,799
Speaker 9: Right. It's like, this is a tiny thing that would

996
00:41:46,880 --> 00:41:49,040
Speaker 9: mean so much to your partner and make you just

997
00:41:49,320 --> 00:41:52,240
Speaker 9: like it's an easy thing to make someone really happy.

998
00:41:52,360 --> 00:41:53,799
Speaker 4: Why would you not just do that.

999
00:41:53,920 --> 00:41:55,680
Speaker 2: It's like if your partner asks you to get a

1000
00:41:55,680 --> 00:41:57,680
Speaker 2: glass of water for them, it's like, well, water, why

1001
00:41:57,680 --> 00:41:59,480
Speaker 2: I have to go, okay, the glass of water? Why

1002
00:41:59,640 --> 00:42:01,400
Speaker 2: you can't go get your own glass of water? So

1003
00:42:01,520 --> 00:42:03,239
Speaker 2: well I could, but I just asked you.

1004
00:42:03,360 --> 00:42:07,080
Speaker 8: I don't know, and AI story like that recently.

1005
00:42:07,360 --> 00:42:09,160
Speaker 1: Hey, it's Sam. We're gonna get back to these stories.

1006
00:42:09,160 --> 00:42:11,160
Speaker 1: But here's three bits of bads from our sponsors that

1007
00:42:11,239 --> 00:42:11,960
Speaker 1: keep the show alive.

1008
00:42:12,560 --> 00:42:15,719
Speaker 9: Of date six weeks later, and we broke up two

1009
00:42:15,719 --> 00:42:18,680
Speaker 9: weeks ago. I did call his bluff, but he said

1010
00:42:18,680 --> 00:42:21,279
Speaker 9: he wanted to ask my dad for permission and not

1011
00:42:21,400 --> 00:42:22,320
Speaker 9: a lope right away.

1012
00:42:22,600 --> 00:42:24,719
Speaker 6: Eight years you've never asked permission.

1013
00:42:25,040 --> 00:42:27,600
Speaker 9: You didn't think about that, and that because she also

1014
00:42:27,640 --> 00:42:30,080
Speaker 9: at one point was like, fine, I'll give you six months.

1015
00:42:30,120 --> 00:42:32,319
Speaker 8: I even ended up giving him a whole year. You

1016
00:42:32,680 --> 00:42:33,680
Speaker 8: had the time.

1017
00:42:33,880 --> 00:42:37,880
Speaker 2: That's when you're again, it's just the guy wants to

1018
00:42:37,920 --> 00:42:41,640
Speaker 2: say anything except becoming the bad guy and being like, hey,

1019
00:42:41,680 --> 00:42:44,160
Speaker 2: I actually don't think this is working and I want

1020
00:42:44,160 --> 00:42:45,719
Speaker 2: to break up, and now I'm the bad guy.

1021
00:42:46,200 --> 00:42:47,680
Speaker 6: And what is it? It has a name.

1022
00:42:47,840 --> 00:42:49,880
Speaker 2: I think it's like rug pulling, where it's like you

1023
00:42:50,040 --> 00:42:53,080
Speaker 2: never let any of your dissatisfaction show in a relationship

1024
00:42:53,120 --> 00:42:54,839
Speaker 2: until it just gets to a point where you're just like,

1025
00:42:55,239 --> 00:42:58,160
Speaker 2: I can't do this, and then it's like what and

1026
00:42:58,200 --> 00:42:59,640
Speaker 2: it comes out of absolutely nowhere.

1027
00:43:00,000 --> 00:43:00,799
Speaker 6: I can't really fix it.

1028
00:43:00,840 --> 00:43:01,479
Speaker 8: Renie says.

1029
00:43:01,520 --> 00:43:03,839
Speaker 9: So if he said I would just really like if

1030
00:43:03,840 --> 00:43:05,680
Speaker 9: you changed your last name and it meant a ton

1031
00:43:05,760 --> 00:43:07,160
Speaker 9: to him, would we push her to do it?

1032
00:43:07,239 --> 00:43:08,759
Speaker 8: I don't see why that also couldn't be.

1033
00:43:09,160 --> 00:43:11,120
Speaker 9: I think that if it's truly if it's something either

1034
00:43:11,160 --> 00:43:13,399
Speaker 9: way that would make someone happy, that's totally a fair

1035
00:43:13,440 --> 00:43:15,520
Speaker 9: and valid discussion that you have with your partner about

1036
00:43:15,520 --> 00:43:16,040
Speaker 9: all that stuff.

1037
00:43:16,120 --> 00:43:18,680
Speaker 6: Yeah, and even then it's like you can hyphenate.

1038
00:43:18,360 --> 00:43:20,600
Speaker 9: There's options for everything, And I think that if it's

1039
00:43:20,600 --> 00:43:23,279
Speaker 9: something small and easy like that, sure do it.

1040
00:43:23,280 --> 00:43:25,960
Speaker 2: Can't hyphenate a proposal. Imagine they just both propose at

1041
00:43:25,960 --> 00:43:27,080
Speaker 2: the exact same moment.

1042
00:43:27,280 --> 00:43:28,600
Speaker 8: I've seen that happen before.

1043
00:43:29,320 --> 00:43:32,080
Speaker 9: I had a friend that proposed to her girlfriend, and

1044
00:43:32,200 --> 00:43:34,239
Speaker 9: the girlfriend reached into her backpack and.

1045
00:43:34,200 --> 00:43:36,080
Speaker 4: Pulled out a ring back and he was like, I

1046
00:43:36,280 --> 00:43:37,560
Speaker 4: was gonna do it this trip.

1047
00:43:39,040 --> 00:43:40,080
Speaker 8: It was really cute.

1048
00:43:40,120 --> 00:43:42,520
Speaker 9: The next morning, I had a bad gut feeling about

1049
00:43:42,560 --> 00:43:45,120
Speaker 9: eloping and felt like I was pressuring him into it.

1050
00:43:45,200 --> 00:43:47,160
Speaker 9: When I told him how I was feeling, he said,

1051
00:43:47,239 --> 00:43:49,600
Speaker 9: either we elope, or you'll have to wait until I

1052
00:43:49,680 --> 00:43:51,760
Speaker 9: say I'm ready to start planning a wedding.

1053
00:43:52,160 --> 00:43:54,920
Speaker 8: But that didn't feel right. There were also.

1054
00:43:54,680 --> 00:43:57,040
Speaker 9: Other issues going on in the relationship, which a lot

1055
00:43:57,120 --> 00:43:59,919
Speaker 9: of people highlighted in the comments as the main problem here.

1056
00:44:00,200 --> 00:44:02,960
Speaker 9: I started to really reflect on those issues and rowe

1057
00:44:02,960 --> 00:44:06,040
Speaker 9: a pros and cons list. I was wearing rose colored

1058
00:44:06,040 --> 00:44:07,840
Speaker 9: glasses and saw how many red.

1059
00:44:07,640 --> 00:44:08,600
Speaker 8: Flags I ignored.

1060
00:44:08,840 --> 00:44:11,960
Speaker 9: Long story short, he confronted me about being distant and

1061
00:44:12,200 --> 00:44:14,319
Speaker 9: asked if I want to break up. I said yes,

1062
00:44:14,880 --> 00:44:17,880
Speaker 9: and then he gasled me into thinking problems I listed

1063
00:44:17,920 --> 00:44:21,040
Speaker 9: were not problems. He said he would do anything to

1064
00:44:21,080 --> 00:44:23,400
Speaker 9: stay with me and even said he would propose.

1065
00:44:23,880 --> 00:44:24,600
Speaker 8: I love it.

1066
00:44:24,560 --> 00:44:27,440
Speaker 9: When you are finally like, okay, you know what, I

1067
00:44:27,440 --> 00:44:28,360
Speaker 9: can't do this anymore.

1068
00:44:28,440 --> 00:44:30,239
Speaker 8: Here's the list of reasons why. And they're like, wait, wait, wait,

1069
00:44:30,239 --> 00:44:30,640
Speaker 8: wait wait.

1070
00:44:31,040 --> 00:44:32,799
Speaker 9: I know you've been trying to get me to do

1071
00:44:32,840 --> 00:44:34,560
Speaker 9: all these things, and we've talked about this so many times.

1072
00:44:34,560 --> 00:44:36,680
Speaker 9: But now that you're like serious and you're breaking up

1073
00:44:36,719 --> 00:44:38,279
Speaker 9: with me, I really think I can do all those

1074
00:44:38,280 --> 00:44:38,879
Speaker 9: things for you.

1075
00:44:39,000 --> 00:44:41,839
Speaker 3: Yeah, like I would. I would do anything with you

1076
00:44:41,960 --> 00:44:45,040
Speaker 3: or to keep you, but I just I'm starting now,

1077
00:44:45,200 --> 00:44:46,359
Speaker 3: starting now. I would do anything.

1078
00:44:46,400 --> 00:44:49,799
Speaker 2: I would do anything to keep you right now, right now,

1079
00:44:50,120 --> 00:44:51,480
Speaker 2: and later I won't.

1080
00:44:53,000 --> 00:44:54,520
Speaker 3: I'm worried about that.

1081
00:44:54,920 --> 00:44:58,120
Speaker 2: Right now, I'll do anything, but don't ask me in

1082
00:44:58,160 --> 00:44:58,720
Speaker 2: two weeks.

1083
00:44:59,480 --> 00:45:02,120
Speaker 9: Then a week later he broke up with me and

1084
00:45:02,239 --> 00:45:05,160
Speaker 9: trying to blame me for how things were falling apart.

1085
00:45:05,600 --> 00:45:08,359
Speaker 8: That's not where I thought that was going. We just

1086
00:45:08,400 --> 00:45:09,760
Speaker 8: had to read one more sentence.

1087
00:45:10,160 --> 00:45:12,880
Speaker 4: Oh no, I moved.

1088
00:45:13,200 --> 00:45:16,200
Speaker 2: That's honestly, I'm sorry, but like I'm glad you learned

1089
00:45:16,200 --> 00:45:19,560
Speaker 2: that lesson that you shouldn't just get once you decide

1090
00:45:19,640 --> 00:45:22,719
Speaker 2: and you break up with someone and they say I'll

1091
00:45:22,760 --> 00:45:24,080
Speaker 2: do all the things that would make us a bit,

1092
00:45:24,160 --> 00:45:26,720
Speaker 2: but that you don't get back together with that person, Yeah,

1093
00:45:26,800 --> 00:45:27,160
Speaker 2: you don't.

1094
00:45:27,400 --> 00:45:29,840
Speaker 9: I moved out of our apartment and left him the

1095
00:45:29,920 --> 00:45:32,920
Speaker 9: cats and all the furniture. Around the same time, I

1096
00:45:33,040 --> 00:45:36,360
Speaker 9: was offered a travel job in a mountain town close

1097
00:45:36,400 --> 00:45:37,560
Speaker 9: to some national.

1098
00:45:37,200 --> 00:45:38,560
Speaker 8: Parks and took it.

1099
00:45:38,560 --> 00:45:41,640
Speaker 9: It has been incredibly painful to grieve this relationship, but

1100
00:45:41,680 --> 00:45:44,319
Speaker 9: I truly do believe the saying if he wanted to,

1101
00:45:44,440 --> 00:45:47,400
Speaker 9: he would. In the end, we were incompatible. He didn't

1102
00:45:47,440 --> 00:45:50,160
Speaker 9: know how I changed over the years and had made

1103
00:45:50,280 --> 00:45:52,680
Speaker 9: me feel like I was the problem. I am now

1104
00:45:52,719 --> 00:45:55,680
Speaker 9: working on rebuilding my self worth and I am going

1105
00:45:55,719 --> 00:45:57,560
Speaker 9: to hike and backpack all summer.

1106
00:45:57,840 --> 00:46:01,480
Speaker 8: Excellent, We've got just a little bit, but good for euop.

1107
00:46:02,080 --> 00:46:05,120
Speaker 2: Hey, now you know, now, you know, when you've been

1108
00:46:05,120 --> 00:46:07,080
Speaker 2: with someone for eight years and they.

1109
00:46:07,120 --> 00:46:11,320
Speaker 6: Refuse to propose to you and you want to be married,

1110
00:46:11,760 --> 00:46:15,120
Speaker 6: it's not sustainable. There, I go to a courthouse right now?

1111
00:46:15,360 --> 00:46:15,759
Speaker 6: What is that?

1112
00:46:16,360 --> 00:46:17,840
Speaker 1: What was that?

1113
00:46:17,840 --> 00:46:20,719
Speaker 6: That was the weird That is the weird part that

1114
00:46:20,760 --> 00:46:21,680
Speaker 6: he said that.

1115
00:46:21,960 --> 00:46:25,720
Speaker 8: He's like, what do we propose? I will not propose.

1116
00:46:25,760 --> 00:46:28,239
Speaker 8: I refuse to ask you to marry me. Would if

1117
00:46:28,239 --> 00:46:30,440
Speaker 8: we went down to the courthouse right now?

1118
00:46:30,480 --> 00:46:32,480
Speaker 6: Though, yeah, got married.

1119
00:46:32,880 --> 00:46:35,120
Speaker 9: I'm not asking you though, Like I'm not proposing this,

1120
00:46:35,600 --> 00:46:37,560
Speaker 9: but like if we just end up at the courthouse

1121
00:46:37,760 --> 00:46:38,160
Speaker 9: could be.

1122
00:46:38,160 --> 00:46:38,640
Speaker 8: Kind of fun.

1123
00:46:38,760 --> 00:46:41,120
Speaker 3: I wonder if he was saying that because he knew

1124
00:46:41,160 --> 00:46:43,200
Speaker 3: that she didn't want to do that, so he was

1125
00:46:43,280 --> 00:46:45,719
Speaker 3: just saying it to like make it look like you

1126
00:46:46,080 --> 00:46:49,040
Speaker 3: wanted to marry her, but knew that she wouldn't like

1127
00:46:49,120 --> 00:46:49,799
Speaker 3: go through with that.

1128
00:46:50,080 --> 00:46:52,560
Speaker 9: I could see it being like I'm stringing you along,

1129
00:46:52,600 --> 00:46:54,960
Speaker 9: like I'm offering this. Yeah, I know you don't want

1130
00:46:55,000 --> 00:46:56,600
Speaker 9: a courthouse marriage, but I'll marry you.

1131
00:46:56,600 --> 00:46:59,400
Speaker 3: It's like, well, I offered, I said I would do this,

1132
00:46:59,480 --> 00:47:01,200
Speaker 3: but you who didn't want to do that.

1133
00:47:01,480 --> 00:47:02,120
Speaker 8: I could see it.

1134
00:47:02,239 --> 00:47:03,200
Speaker 4: Perhaps we've got.

1135
00:47:03,120 --> 00:47:05,000
Speaker 8: A little bit lift which a silly little man.

1136
00:47:05,320 --> 00:47:07,520
Speaker 6: Silly man, silly, silly little man.

1137
00:47:07,800 --> 00:47:10,759
Speaker 9: I won't let another person dull my light again. I

1138
00:47:10,800 --> 00:47:13,879
Speaker 9: won't make myself smaller. I never want fear to hold

1139
00:47:13,920 --> 00:47:17,000
Speaker 9: me back. It's been an incredibly difficult breakup, but I'm

1140
00:47:17,000 --> 00:47:19,359
Speaker 9: grateful for my friends and family who have been here

1141
00:47:19,400 --> 00:47:22,440
Speaker 9: to support me. Thank you to this community and everyone

1142
00:47:22,440 --> 00:47:26,359
Speaker 9: who left kind comments to encourage me to reevaluate the relationship.

1143
00:47:26,480 --> 00:47:29,200
Speaker 9: Sending love to anyone who was in a similar situation

1144
00:47:29,440 --> 00:47:32,240
Speaker 9: or going through a breakup and edit, thank you everyone

1145
00:47:32,440 --> 00:47:33,520
Speaker 9: that is the end of that story.

1146
00:47:33,520 --> 00:47:40,240
Speaker 2: Thank you everyone, to all a good night, hello, everynon bye.

1147
00:47:40,400 --> 00:47:43,239
Speaker 8: That's the end of that story. And we've got comments.

1148
00:47:43,320 --> 00:47:44,719
Speaker 6: We've got comments to read.

1149
00:47:44,960 --> 00:47:48,400
Speaker 3: We've got some comments from the video. My stepsister stole

1150
00:47:48,480 --> 00:47:49,919
Speaker 3: my wedding dress.

1151
00:47:50,080 --> 00:47:52,319
Speaker 6: Okay, I think I remember this one and this.

1152
00:47:52,360 --> 00:47:57,040
Speaker 3: Was posted on November thirteenth, twenty twenty five, little teldr.

1153
00:47:57,160 --> 00:48:00,080
Speaker 3: For those who haven't seen it, Opi reunited with her

1154
00:48:00,160 --> 00:48:04,200
Speaker 3: dad at twenty two. They became super close. Dad's wife Lily,

1155
00:48:04,360 --> 00:48:07,760
Speaker 3: got insanely jealous. Dad had to keep their hangout secret

1156
00:48:07,840 --> 00:48:12,480
Speaker 3: like sneaking breakfast dates. No, Lily gave Dad an ultimatum

1157
00:48:12,560 --> 00:48:15,960
Speaker 3: and he chose her ghosting ope for years.

1158
00:48:16,200 --> 00:48:17,880
Speaker 4: Oh wow, now they're.

1159
00:48:17,680 --> 00:48:20,840
Speaker 3: Back in contact, but it's still secret. Opie is planning

1160
00:48:20,880 --> 00:48:22,920
Speaker 3: to have kids and refuses to let her children have

1161
00:48:22,960 --> 00:48:26,680
Speaker 3: a hidden relationship with Grandpa or deal with Lily's crazy jealousy,

1162
00:48:26,960 --> 00:48:29,680
Speaker 3: but she is scared to confront Dad about it. If

1163
00:48:29,719 --> 00:48:32,200
Speaker 3: you are curious to know the full story, you can

1164
00:48:32,239 --> 00:48:34,799
Speaker 3: go watch the full video. And we do have some

1165
00:48:34,920 --> 00:48:37,399
Speaker 3: comments on that story. Do you guys remember that one?

1166
00:48:37,480 --> 00:48:38,520
Speaker 6: I do? I do not?

1167
00:48:38,760 --> 00:48:40,319
Speaker 8: And just to hear fine, I think that.

1168
00:48:40,440 --> 00:48:42,640
Speaker 4: Was s two from that episode, and you should go

1169
00:48:42,920 --> 00:48:44,040
Speaker 4: you should go watch it.

1170
00:48:44,320 --> 00:48:47,080
Speaker 3: I believe you are right. That was s two and

1171
00:48:47,120 --> 00:48:49,920
Speaker 3: we do have some comments on it. Bomb dot Com

1172
00:48:49,920 --> 00:48:53,480
Speaker 3: at twenty one sixty eight says story two is absolutely insane.

1173
00:48:53,680 --> 00:48:56,000
Speaker 3: She's treating Ope like her husband's mistress.

1174
00:48:56,080 --> 00:48:57,720
Speaker 8: It's his biological daughter.

1175
00:48:58,080 --> 00:48:59,400
Speaker 4: I can't believe.

1176
00:48:59,080 --> 00:49:01,360
Speaker 3: That he's willing to stay with someone who even admitted

1177
00:49:01,480 --> 00:49:04,640
Speaker 3: to only loving her children one at a time, like

1178
00:49:04,760 --> 00:49:05,799
Speaker 3: even conditionally.

1179
00:49:06,200 --> 00:49:07,520
Speaker 6: That was a big part of it.

1180
00:49:07,719 --> 00:49:08,480
Speaker 3: That's wild.

1181
00:49:08,920 --> 00:49:12,120
Speaker 6: She's like, well, it's impossible for you to actually care

1182
00:49:12,120 --> 00:49:14,719
Speaker 6: about your daughter like that because you could only love

1183
00:49:14,719 --> 00:49:17,080
Speaker 6: one child's to time. So I don't know what you're

1184
00:49:17,120 --> 00:49:19,839
Speaker 6: trying to do here, but I don't want you seeing her.

1185
00:49:19,920 --> 00:49:21,960
Speaker 8: I like this story, but that's crazy.

1186
00:49:22,200 --> 00:49:23,280
Speaker 6: Yeah, No, she was unwell.

1187
00:49:23,440 --> 00:49:24,360
Speaker 3: That's wild.

1188
00:49:24,520 --> 00:49:27,640
Speaker 6: He had a mantally unwell lady as a wife. Uh.

1189
00:49:27,640 --> 00:49:30,160
Speaker 3: The common continues. If she's abusive to OPII, I wonder

1190
00:49:30,200 --> 00:49:32,720
Speaker 3: how she is with her own children. Lily is abusive

1191
00:49:32,760 --> 00:49:35,800
Speaker 3: and is completely isolating OPI's dad. I hope he figures

1192
00:49:35,800 --> 00:49:37,640
Speaker 3: his step out and leaves asap.

1193
00:49:38,040 --> 00:49:38,879
Speaker 8: I hope so too.

1194
00:49:39,120 --> 00:49:42,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, I agree, Wed. You have some more comments. Samantha

1195
00:49:42,200 --> 00:49:45,480
Speaker 3: Spencer nine oh seven says, story number two is so

1196
00:49:45,840 --> 00:49:48,319
Speaker 3: cruel to expect his daughter to be okay with half

1197
00:49:48,360 --> 00:49:52,760
Speaker 3: a relationship. It's not your responsibility to manage someone else's jealousy, period,

1198
00:49:53,400 --> 00:49:56,520
Speaker 3: just like any other emotion. That's for Lily to figure out.

1199
00:49:56,640 --> 00:49:59,560
Speaker 3: She's just using this jealousy and let's be real, it's

1200
00:49:59,640 --> 00:50:02,880
Speaker 3: massage because she isn't as mad at the brother to

1201
00:50:03,040 --> 00:50:05,920
Speaker 3: icolyate and manipulate the dad. Bet her own kids will

1202
00:50:05,960 --> 00:50:08,600
Speaker 3: cut her off when she pulls that ish on their kids.

1203
00:50:08,920 --> 00:50:09,680
Speaker 4: Yeah, totally.

1204
00:50:09,760 --> 00:50:13,920
Speaker 3: And we have a third comment were Peka eight says

1205
00:50:14,520 --> 00:50:18,040
Speaker 3: about the second story, everyone is missing That daughter doesn't

1206
00:50:18,080 --> 00:50:20,680
Speaker 3: have a step on issue, she has a dad issue.

1207
00:50:20,760 --> 00:50:23,920
Speaker 3: The man is the problem here, period. He is a coward.

1208
00:50:24,360 --> 00:50:26,479
Speaker 3: If he is willing to lie to his wife about

1209
00:50:26,480 --> 00:50:28,360
Speaker 3: his daughter, he's for sure willing to lie to his

1210
00:50:28,440 --> 00:50:30,640
Speaker 3: daughter about his wife. I doubt he has tried to

1211
00:50:30,640 --> 00:50:32,840
Speaker 3: build any bridges between the two because it's easier for

1212
00:50:32,920 --> 00:50:35,560
Speaker 3: him to keep them separated and to lie to them both.

1213
00:50:35,680 --> 00:50:39,160
Speaker 3: This is a piece of crap, man, and the daughter

1214
00:50:39,280 --> 00:50:42,920
Speaker 3: choosing to forgive him is her choosing not to prioritize herself.

1215
00:50:43,200 --> 00:50:45,319
Speaker 3: She wouldn't let her own kids be treated this way.

1216
00:50:45,520 --> 00:50:47,480
Speaker 3: Why is she letting herself?

1217
00:50:47,719 --> 00:50:51,279
Speaker 6: That's a good point. It could just could be very

1218
00:50:51,280 --> 00:50:53,880
Speaker 6: well code based. If he's lying to her, why wouldn't

1219
00:50:53,880 --> 00:50:54,480
Speaker 6: he lie to you?

1220
00:50:55,200 --> 00:50:59,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, like a liar, Like a liar would, like a liar.

1221
00:50:59,800 --> 00:50:59,960
Speaker 6: Dad.

1222
00:51:00,880 --> 00:51:03,480
Speaker 9: That's the end of that story and the end of

1223
00:51:03,480 --> 00:51:04,200
Speaker 9: this episode.

1224
00:51:04,640 --> 00:51:07,720
Speaker 6: So if you love us, make sure you subscribe.

1225
00:51:08,040 --> 00:51:11,279
Speaker 3: We love you and see you tomorrow.