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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam, this is John, and we are

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Speaker 1: the founding hosts of Okay Storytime podcast and we have

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Speaker 1: some foundational stories coming up for you. But the thing

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Speaker 1: is this foundation needs a little support from these sponsors.

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Speaker 1: So stick around two minutes and we'll get into the episode.

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Speaker 2: I confessed my affair to my husband because the guilt

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Speaker 2: was too much.

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Speaker 3: It was weighing down.

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Speaker 2: I'm twenty seven and my husband is twenty six. We

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Speaker 2: got together when he was seventeen and I was nineteen.

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Speaker 2: One of those popular boys I thought was straight, and

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Speaker 2: even if he wasn't, I figured he wouldn't give an

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Speaker 2: overweight guy like me a second glance. He was a

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Speaker 2: jock and I was chubby. But somehow we made it

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Speaker 2: work despite all the hardships.

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Speaker 4: So these are two dudes too, Dudes, two dudes.

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Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from deleted and if you

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Speaker 2: want to spit your own stories, go to the r

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Speaker 2: slash Okay Storytime Separate it. So his dad threatened to

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Speaker 2: disown him when he found out about us. My boyfriend

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Speaker 2: told his father how much he loved and looked up

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Speaker 2: to him, how he'd even enlisted because he wanted to

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Speaker 2: be like him. But being into men wasn't something he

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Speaker 2: could change or suppress. Even though he loved his dad,

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Speaker 2: he chose me. We got married three years ago and

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Speaker 2: moved into our own place. We split chores, got along amazingly,

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Speaker 2: and have a good, spicy sleep life. We make decent money.

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Speaker 2: He earns comfortable mid five figures, and with the seven

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Speaker 2: day security details he's taken once a month, he hits

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Speaker 2: low six figures. Those week long assignments leave me missing

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Speaker 2: him badly, so I tried to distract myself. One night,

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Speaker 2: My friends and I went to a bar where I

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Speaker 2: met Maddie. Who's nineteen Oh oh oh at.

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Speaker 3: A bar not in Britain.

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Speaker 2: Line oh also if he's twenty seven?

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Speaker 3: Who's talking?

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Speaker 2: He gave me a lot of attention, which confused me,

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Speaker 2: since I find it hard to believe anyone would find

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Speaker 2: me attractive. We got spicy and it went on for

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Speaker 2: way longer than I'd like to admit.

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Speaker 3: Oh, a rather opee. That man's not right.

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Speaker 2: You suck.

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Speaker 3: He found an unripe man. Oh suck, he sucked.

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Speaker 2: Last week watching my husband get excited about the plans

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Speaker 2: we were making for when he returned from his next

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Speaker 2: assignment made me spiral after he left, I cried for

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Speaker 2: three days because I felt like, crap, you should you.

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Speaker 3: Should because you were hitting the craft.

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Speaker 2: Are you coming here for us to feel bad for you?

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Speaker 2: Because I don't you You're a cheater. I cut things

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Speaker 2: off with Maddie and decided to come clean, as you should.

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Speaker 2: He came home yesterday before me. When I walked in,

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Speaker 2: he was all smiles, cooking dinner.

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Speaker 4: No cooking dinner, and they getting bad getting hearing bad news.

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Speaker 4: Imagine cooking someone dinner and then immediately after hearing bad news.

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Speaker 2: Oh my goodness, Oh my goodness. He rushed to greet

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Speaker 2: me with a kiss, but I said we needed to talk.

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Speaker 3: Oh good, we have food here.

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Speaker 2: He kept kissing me, saying we talk after he got

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Speaker 2: a minute to admire me. Oh, we sat down. He

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Speaker 2: held my hands, squeezing gently, waiting for me to speak.

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Speaker 2: When I told him about the affair, he didn't let go,

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Speaker 2: just loosened his grip and nodded, okay. He said he

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Speaker 2: got up, ate dinner alone, then locked himself in our bedroom.

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Speaker 3: He still ate dinner after that.

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Speaker 2: Well, yeah, he's hungry, he's hungry.

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Speaker 5: I could not, dude, I couldn't, dude, No, no, no.

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Speaker 3: If someone told me that I want to throw.

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Speaker 2: Up, absolutely yeah. This morning, when I woke up, he

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Speaker 2: was gone, with all of his belongings. He won't return

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Speaker 2: my calls or texts. I deserve this. I spent the

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Speaker 2: whole next day crying about what happened and how stupid

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Speaker 2: I'd been. I downed a lot of vodka and passed out.

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Speaker 4: Dang.

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Speaker 2: This morning, I woke up to noise in the bedroom.

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Speaker 2: When I opened my eyes, I saw my husband getting dressed.

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Speaker 2: For a second, I was convinced it had all been

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Speaker 2: a dream. I'd never cheated and that grumpy look was

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Speaker 2: just because he hadn't had his coffee and sick yet.

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Speaker 2: But no, my reality was different. He told me I

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Speaker 2: looked like a mess and to shower before we were late.

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Speaker 2: He sarcasts ripped into me for buying the cheapest vodka,

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Speaker 2: telling me to get my taste back since I still

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Speaker 2: had access to our finances.

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Speaker 3: Hmmm.

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Speaker 2: When I asked where we were going, he gave me

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Speaker 2: the most disappointed look. Did he f your brain's out?

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Speaker 3: So good?

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Speaker 2: You forgot my brother's birthday party? So okay?

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Speaker 3: Hear me out, hear me out, hear me out?

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Speaker 4: Oh I think he's willing to get over this because

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Speaker 4: he's still joking about it, or is this petty joking.

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Speaker 2: I think this is petty joking.

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Speaker 4: I thought it was, Yeah, where you're kind of going

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Speaker 4: back going at him a little bit.

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Speaker 2: No, I think you're going to get over it. The

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Speaker 2: thing is that I think right now it seems like

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Speaker 2: he wants to maybe stay together, at least in the

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Speaker 2: current moment. However, I don't think that he should because

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Speaker 2: he's clearly, rightfully so very upset about this. Yeah, as

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Speaker 2: I got up to shower, I noticed a small cotton

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Speaker 2: ball in his arm. When I asked about it, he

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Speaker 2: said his dealer.

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Speaker 3: Was so kind to a.

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Speaker 2: I don't even know what that means to give it

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Speaker 2: to him after Okay.

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Speaker 5: Oh yeah, email here?

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Speaker 2: Oh okay, guys mentions of drugs, um wow, morning, all right.

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Speaker 2: When I didn't react to his sarcasm, he'd explained he'd

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Speaker 2: gone to the clinic to get tested very fair and smarts.

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Speaker 5: Okay, so it was a joke.

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Speaker 2: It was a joke. Yeah, it was a joke. He's

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Speaker 2: saying that he's getting tested for STD.

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Speaker 3: So this is how he coached everyone with jokes.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, we went to his brother's birthday party. My husband

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Speaker 2: is the second of four boys. The oldest is thirty one,

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Speaker 2: the youngest just turned seventeen. He's close with all of them,

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Speaker 2: and his niece always says he's her best friend. Watching

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Speaker 2: him play with her broke me even more, knowing I'd

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Speaker 2: never see him as a father to our children. And

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Speaker 2: that's your fault.

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Speaker 3: Yep, that's your fault.

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Speaker 2: Throughout the party, he put on a perfect act, talking

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Speaker 2: to me, arm around me, smiling with those loving eyes

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Speaker 2: he'd always have before. I confessed it was just a

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Speaker 2: backyard barbecue, and after three hours we went home. Sitting

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Speaker 2: in our living room, I asked where he'd been the

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Speaker 2: day before. He said he stayed in a hotel, went

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Speaker 2: for a walk, got ice cream and an energy drink,

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Speaker 2: and then sat on a bench listening to music and smoking.

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Speaker 2: Then he looked at me. I was alone, didn't have

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Speaker 2: anyone with me in there. I knew what he was

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Speaker 2: getting at. I asked if he had any questions about me.

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Speaker 2: The only thing he wanted to know was whether I'd

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Speaker 2: done this during his five month training deployment. I told

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Speaker 2: him I hadn't. After a short silence, I asked if

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Speaker 2: he wanted a divorce. Of course you'd want that, he replied.

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Speaker 2: The streets are more fun than these four walls with me.

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Speaker 2: I tried explaining that wasn't what I meant, but midway

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Speaker 2: through he gave me his typical I was being half

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Speaker 2: sarcastic look. Then he asked if I didn't find him

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Speaker 2: attractive anymore. That made me tear up. I told him

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Speaker 2: I found him very attractive, that he'd been the most

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Speaker 2: amazing husband anyone could ask for, and this had nothing

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Speaker 2: to do with his looks or personality or how he

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Speaker 2: treated me. This was all on me for being a

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Speaker 2: total idiot. I don't think you get to just say

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Speaker 2: you're an idiot. I don't think you get to betray

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Speaker 2: your partner who has been nothing but good to you,

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Speaker 2: and then just say, oh, I'm an idiot. You didn't

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Speaker 2: do it because you were stupid like that. I think

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Speaker 2: that gives it. I think that gives you.

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Speaker 4: Will say, I will say as a man, and I

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Speaker 4: can speak to this because I'm a man and you're

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Speaker 4: a woman, and you know nothing about this, Danga. I

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Speaker 4: was gonna say, sometimes you think with the wrong head

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Speaker 4: and you do idiotic move because you're just thinking with

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Speaker 4: your wiener head rather than your brain head. Sure you

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Speaker 4: can't be an idiot, but I agree, I think you

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Speaker 4: should add more words to the idiot.

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Speaker 3: Yeah you are.

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Speaker 2: I just don't think I think that it gives it,

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Speaker 2: like let you off the hook.

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Speaker 3: You know.

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Speaker 2: It's like, oh, I just wasn't thinking that's why I

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Speaker 2: did it. It's like, no, that's not that doesn't. You

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Speaker 2: can't get off that easily. He said. He wasn't planning

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Speaker 2: on divorcing me just yet. Dude, no divorce him.

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Speaker 3: He was too.

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Speaker 2: Embarrassed to tell his father after finding tooth and nail

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Speaker 2: for that man to still see him as his son,

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Speaker 2: someone who'd grown up playing rugby his whole life, someone

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Speaker 2: my husband loved dearly. He didn't want his mother to

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Speaker 2: have a tainted image of me either, So he was

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Speaker 2: planning something. He just needed time to figure it out.

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Speaker 3: That's sweet.

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Speaker 2: No, No, I asked what would happen until then? He said,

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Speaker 2: we'd have a marriage of convenience. I could continue living

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Speaker 2: the life he provided, an even better one, since he'd

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Speaker 2: been taking more details for a significantly higher pay, and

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Speaker 2: he'd keep up the charade of being a happily married

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Speaker 2: man in front of his family. I could sleep with

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Speaker 2: whoever I wanted, because spicy sleep was something I wouldn't

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Speaker 2: be getting from him good. I asked if this was

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Speaker 2: his way of saying he'd also sleep around. Shut up, Opie,

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Speaker 2: literally shut up. You don't get it O shut up.

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Speaker 2: He said his hand worked fine, and if he wanted

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Speaker 2: someone else, he wouldn't deny himself the same freedom he

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Speaker 2: gave me. When I asked if i'd be taking the couch,

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Speaker 2: he reminded me of our rule. No matter how mad

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Speaker 2: we got, we never slept apart. I don't know what's

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Speaker 2: going on here. I brought up how he locked me

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Speaker 2: out two days ago, and he said he'd unlocked it

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Speaker 2: before bed. I just hadn't checked in our bedroom. I

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Speaker 2: noticed him checking me out, those same eyes he'd get

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Speaker 2: when making a move, but instead he went to the

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Speaker 2: bathroom and returned in sweatpants and a T shirt. He

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Speaker 2: usually can't sleep in clothes at all. That small detail

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Speaker 2: hit me hard before sleep. I told him I loved him.

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Speaker 2: He paused and said, I love you more.

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Speaker 5: What is going on?

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Speaker 2: He turned away, and I spooned him, something I'd never

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Speaker 2: done before. I'm taller than him and holding him felt strange,

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Speaker 2: like I was suddenly the protector. I kissed the back

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Speaker 2: of his neck. I wish you hadn't told me, he whispered.

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Speaker 2: I would have been happier not knowing I was being

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Speaker 2: made a fool.

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Speaker 3: What is going on? I don't know.

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Speaker 4: I think he said, take the high road and be

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Speaker 4: like the fair person, and I, hey, this, he's just

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Speaker 4: trying to kill him nis and I say this.

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Speaker 2: He fell asleep in my arms. I stayed awake, crying,

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Speaker 2: realizing I wanted to be better, to undo the damage

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Speaker 2: I'd caused. I would keep fighting for us until he

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Speaker 2: told me it was too late, and there is an update.

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Speaker 2: I freaking hate this. I want them to break up.

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Speaker 4: He's taking the high road, trying not to seem like

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Speaker 4: the villain, but he's thinking of something. But he's but

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Speaker 4: he's thinking, but he's thinking of something to do tough.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I think maybe he's planning to get divorced. But he's

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Speaker 2: just like.

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Speaker 4: Making it seem everything's good, We're still to love, everything's

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Speaker 4: all right.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and then black buds get hit. Was you broke

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Speaker 3: his heart? He broke his He's not going to take that, and.

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Speaker 2: He can deserve it.

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00:10:26,120 --> 00:10:26,640
Speaker 3: Like it's nothing.

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Speaker 2: Update. A lot happened today while I was at work.

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Speaker 2: My first priority was scheduling a therapist appointment, talking to

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Speaker 2: my husband about marriage counseling, and starting to rebuild our

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Speaker 2: life from the ground up. I got home before he did,

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Speaker 2: arms full of groceries since I planned to make him dinner.

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Speaker 2: Four point thirty came and went odd, since he usually

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Speaker 2: gets home around then. He finally arrived around five point

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Speaker 2: forty on FaceTime with his youngest brother. His brother was

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Speaker 2: telling him how he'd been up since six am waiting

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Speaker 2: for Playboy Cardi's album, which finally dropped six hours late.

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Speaker 4: Ooh, and he's definitely going to be upset with it

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Speaker 4: because it wasn't that good.

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Speaker 2: He encouraged my husband to listen to it, but my

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Speaker 2: husband said he had and it was. But his brother said,

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Speaker 2: put op on the phone. I want his opinion, and

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Speaker 2: my husband replied, you think opia has the right to

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Speaker 2: disagree with me in my own house. When his brother said,

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Speaker 2: of course he does, what my husband shot back, yeah,

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Speaker 2: if he wants to camp in our backyard. Dude, this

248
00:11:21,280 --> 00:11:24,240
Speaker 2: is so unhealthy, this is so healthy.

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Speaker 3: I was going to control you.

250
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Speaker 2: It baffled me. How he could keep up this act

251
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Speaker 2: for so long. If he wasn't a soldier, he would

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Speaker 2: have been an actor. After dinner, he was doing the

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Speaker 2: dishes when I poured myself some vodka. He immediately poured

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Speaker 2: it down the drain, along with the entire bottle. With

255
00:11:41,120 --> 00:11:44,320
Speaker 2: burt in his eyes, he said, booze was destroying our marriage.

256
00:11:44,480 --> 00:11:47,280
Speaker 2: I think the cheating destroyed your marriage. He gave me

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Speaker 2: three options, see a therapist, check into rehab, or sign

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Speaker 2: divorce papers by Monday. I told him I had planned

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Speaker 2: to suggest therapy anyway. He said it was about time

260
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Speaker 2: I started thinking. Then he laid out all the times

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Speaker 2: he'd had to babysit me while I was wasted, how

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Speaker 2: he avoided drinking at events because he knew he'd have

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Speaker 2: to drive us home, and how I always turned to

264
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Speaker 2: booze in stressful times. He said he'd dropped tins for

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Speaker 2: years but avoided being controlling. Looking back, he regretted not

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Speaker 2: putting his foot down sooner. I suggested couple's therapy, but

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Speaker 2: he refused. We had to fix this ourselves. I told

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Speaker 2: him how scared I was of losing him, of ruining

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Speaker 2: his life. He said I hadn't even tried to build

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Speaker 2: a life. Dutchess Casana says, what I'm thinking, I'm confused.

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Speaker 2: Did Ope have a drinking problem? He hadn't mentioned, That's

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Speaker 2: what I'm saying, I think, so I think, Oh well,

273
00:12:35,160 --> 00:12:37,760
Speaker 2: Nina Nelson says, well, Opie blained, i'llcohol for cheating, So

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Speaker 2: I see the point. Yeah, that's true.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Then he grabbed my laptop and opened the novel I

277
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Speaker 2: started writing in the summer. Still stuck on page sixty,

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Speaker 2: he asked how I planned to be a writer without writing.

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00:12:48,120 --> 00:12:50,160
Speaker 2: I told him I had no motivation, and he said

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Speaker 2: drinking myself to sleep with the reason. He made me

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Speaker 2: sit down and write while he watched me.

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Speaker 4: That's okay, all right, what.

283
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Speaker 2: Is going on? I wrote a flashback scene of the

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Speaker 2: main characters first kiss, a recreation of our own. He

285
00:13:03,559 --> 00:13:06,040
Speaker 2: read it and asked if I'd really seen him as

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00:13:06,080 --> 00:13:08,600
Speaker 2: out of reach back then I said yes. He called

287
00:13:08,600 --> 00:13:10,520
Speaker 2: me a dumb butt for missing all of his flirting.

288
00:13:10,760 --> 00:13:12,880
Speaker 2: I said I thought he was joking. He asked if

289
00:13:12,880 --> 00:13:16,120
Speaker 2: I was serious about therapy. I promised i'd start monday.

290
00:13:16,240 --> 00:13:18,679
Speaker 2: He said he still wanted me, didn't want to throw

291
00:13:18,679 --> 00:13:22,240
Speaker 2: away a decade together and wanted to rebuild. He asked

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Speaker 2: if I'd like to go to that fancy restaurant that

293
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Speaker 2: opened last summer. I said yes, and he said he'd

294
00:13:27,440 --> 00:13:30,120
Speaker 2: make the reservation tomorrow. It was getting late, so we

295
00:13:30,160 --> 00:13:32,520
Speaker 2: moved to our bedroom. He went to shower while I

296
00:13:32,520 --> 00:13:35,040
Speaker 2: wrote on my laptop. He came back wearing just a

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00:13:35,080 --> 00:13:37,680
Speaker 2: towel around his waist, and I couldn't take my eyes

298
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Speaker 2: off him. I missed his touch more than ever. I

299
00:13:40,840 --> 00:13:43,680
Speaker 2: hadn't been able to love him since before he left

300
00:13:43,679 --> 00:13:46,200
Speaker 2: for that week. He lay in bed, saying his back

301
00:13:46,360 --> 00:13:49,560
Speaker 2: was unliving him. I put my laptop aside and told

302
00:13:49,600 --> 00:13:51,960
Speaker 2: him to lie on his stomach. I massaged him for

303
00:13:52,000 --> 00:13:54,560
Speaker 2: about an hour. Neither of us said a word. When

304
00:13:54,559 --> 00:13:57,000
Speaker 2: I finished, I kissed his back and moved away. He

305
00:13:57,080 --> 00:13:59,640
Speaker 2: thanked me as he covered himself with a blanket. He

306
00:13:59,679 --> 00:14:02,160
Speaker 2: stared at me as I continued writing. When he said

307
00:14:02,160 --> 00:14:04,000
Speaker 2: he was going to bed, I said good night. I

308
00:14:04,160 --> 00:14:07,000
Speaker 2: love you, he said, and it made me freeze. I

309
00:14:07,040 --> 00:14:10,199
Speaker 2: wanted to throw my laptop away and kiss him so badly.

310
00:14:10,760 --> 00:14:12,920
Speaker 2: I felt like he wanted it too, but I was

311
00:14:12,960 --> 00:14:15,160
Speaker 2: scared of making that move. I told him I loved

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00:14:15,240 --> 00:14:17,800
Speaker 2: him too, and we wished each other goodnight. I'm writing

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00:14:17,800 --> 00:14:19,760
Speaker 2: this as he snores next to me. Right now, I

314
00:14:19,760 --> 00:14:21,640
Speaker 2: feel like I have a clear shot at this Now,

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00:14:22,000 --> 00:14:24,080
Speaker 2: getting my husband back is my priority.

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Speaker 5: There's a second update.

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Speaker 4: Dude, I was not going to work out because one

318
00:14:28,360 --> 00:14:31,360
Speaker 4: you betrayed him, and two he's repaying you back by

319
00:14:31,360 --> 00:14:32,960
Speaker 4: being very controlling.

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00:14:33,200 --> 00:14:36,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, there's a second update. The morning felt slow, probably

321
00:14:36,600 --> 00:14:39,560
Speaker 2: because I was anticipating our date. My husband was heading

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Speaker 2: to the gym, so I made him sandwiches and sent

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Speaker 2: him on his way. He came back, showered and dinchores,

324
00:14:45,040 --> 00:14:47,320
Speaker 2: washed both our cars while I took care of the garden.

325
00:14:47,760 --> 00:14:49,840
Speaker 2: When it was time to get ready, I felt butterflies

326
00:14:49,840 --> 00:14:52,600
Speaker 2: in my stomach. Just watching him get dressed made my

327
00:14:52,680 --> 00:14:56,400
Speaker 2: heart skip beats. He looked so handsome. At the restaurant,

328
00:14:56,440 --> 00:14:59,400
Speaker 2: I told him he could drink since I'd be driving home.

329
00:14:59,480 --> 00:15:01,360
Speaker 2: He said he would in the mood for drinking, so

330
00:15:01,440 --> 00:15:04,320
Speaker 2: we both had what spicy flower?

331
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Speaker 5: What you guys are insane?

332
00:15:07,640 --> 00:15:10,280
Speaker 2: He was excited to try some exotic curry, and I

333
00:15:10,320 --> 00:15:13,440
Speaker 2: insisted he gets something else with it, something more suited

334
00:15:13,480 --> 00:15:16,360
Speaker 2: to his taste buds. What are you talking about? Talking

335
00:15:16,400 --> 00:15:19,360
Speaker 2: about the coca cola, but he's always been stubborn as

336
00:15:19,360 --> 00:15:22,040
Speaker 2: a mule, so naturally I had to finish my meal

337
00:15:22,160 --> 00:15:24,400
Speaker 2: and his because he didn't like it, then waited for

338
00:15:24,400 --> 00:15:27,080
Speaker 2: the burger he ordered. As he put it, sushi is

339
00:15:27,120 --> 00:15:30,600
Speaker 2: the furthest he'll go with unfamiliar food. We talked for hours,

340
00:15:30,640 --> 00:15:34,200
Speaker 2: reminiscing about our past friends we made and lost. He

341
00:15:34,280 --> 00:15:37,040
Speaker 2: went on about ongoing drama between him, his best friend

342
00:15:37,080 --> 00:15:39,200
Speaker 2: and another guy and their friend group. He was clearly

343
00:15:39,240 --> 00:15:42,240
Speaker 2: a bad fit from the start, the only red pill dude,

344
00:15:42,320 --> 00:15:46,120
Speaker 2: an otherwise open minded group. I hate this break up.

345
00:15:46,320 --> 00:15:50,240
Speaker 2: I like op he's writing this like it's cute. Yeah,

346
00:15:50,240 --> 00:15:53,560
Speaker 2: And even in the process of like actually writing it,

347
00:15:53,680 --> 00:15:56,240
Speaker 2: you know, like this is not just a you know,

348
00:15:56,640 --> 00:15:59,520
Speaker 2: recounting events like oh, he's actually trying to write it

349
00:15:59,560 --> 00:16:02,360
Speaker 2: in a certain style so that it's more cutesy.

350
00:16:02,720 --> 00:16:03,840
Speaker 5: And I still hate it.

351
00:16:04,120 --> 00:16:05,160
Speaker 2: I maybe hate it more.

352
00:16:05,680 --> 00:16:07,200
Speaker 5: Break up. We divorced.

353
00:16:07,440 --> 00:16:08,080
Speaker 6: I don't like it.

354
00:16:08,440 --> 00:16:11,560
Speaker 2: The conversation finally shifted to us. He asked how I

355
00:16:11,600 --> 00:16:13,360
Speaker 2: was feeling, but I didn't want to dwell on that.

356
00:16:13,840 --> 00:16:15,920
Speaker 2: I wanted to know what he was feeling. He said

357
00:16:15,920 --> 00:16:18,560
Speaker 2: he was angry at himself and blamed himself for letting

358
00:16:18,560 --> 00:16:20,960
Speaker 2: things get this far. I told him there was a

359
00:16:21,080 --> 00:16:23,920
Speaker 2: zero fault on his part. He asked what I do

360
00:16:24,000 --> 00:16:26,800
Speaker 2: if the roles were reversed. Before I could even think,

361
00:16:26,840 --> 00:16:29,360
Speaker 2: he said whatever I was thinking was wrong because I'd

362
00:16:29,440 --> 00:16:31,800
Speaker 2: never been cheated on, so I had no idea what

363
00:16:31,880 --> 00:16:34,680
Speaker 2: turmoil I'd paused. He said, when he was younger, he

364
00:16:34,720 --> 00:16:37,440
Speaker 2: always claimed he'd never stay with the cheater, but times

365
00:16:37,440 --> 00:16:41,080
Speaker 2: had changed, the situation was different. The betrayal was harsh,

366
00:16:41,120 --> 00:16:43,320
Speaker 2: but he understood I regretted it, which was why he

367
00:16:43,360 --> 00:16:46,320
Speaker 2: was giving me another chance. That and because I came

368
00:16:46,400 --> 00:16:48,840
Speaker 2: clean instead of him finding out on his own. I

369
00:16:48,920 --> 00:16:51,560
Speaker 2: started to apologize, but he stopped me, saying what's done

370
00:16:51,600 --> 00:16:54,440
Speaker 2: is done, and we needed to stop looking back and

371
00:16:54,520 --> 00:16:57,200
Speaker 2: move forward. Needless to say, we made out on the

372
00:16:57,200 --> 00:16:58,320
Speaker 2: couch for about an hour.

373
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Speaker 3: Okay, this was totally fanfic.

374
00:17:00,800 --> 00:17:02,480
Speaker 4: I don't even believe that this was real.

375
00:17:02,680 --> 00:17:03,600
Speaker 2: I don't believe it's real.

376
00:17:03,640 --> 00:17:04,760
Speaker 3: I don't want to believe it's real.

377
00:17:05,040 --> 00:17:06,479
Speaker 4: Someone just had a good time.

378
00:17:06,560 --> 00:17:07,600
Speaker 2: I want to believe that it's fake.

379
00:17:08,359 --> 00:17:10,040
Speaker 4: Made out for an hour, and that's where he ended.

380
00:17:10,080 --> 00:17:12,520
Speaker 4: Of course, he's a rider. Of course, that's where he's

381
00:17:12,520 --> 00:17:13,040
Speaker 4: gonna end it.

382
00:17:13,200 --> 00:17:15,560
Speaker 2: I don't like that. You guys need a divorce.

383
00:17:15,840 --> 00:17:18,760
Speaker 6: I mother in law stole my son's prize money, so

384
00:17:19,040 --> 00:17:20,040
Speaker 6: I called the cop.

385
00:17:20,160 --> 00:17:21,840
Speaker 3: And this comes from one of you.

386
00:17:21,960 --> 00:17:24,280
Speaker 6: Out there on the r slash okay storytime stubreddit.

387
00:17:24,280 --> 00:17:24,760
Speaker 3: Here he goes.

388
00:17:24,840 --> 00:17:27,640
Speaker 6: My mother in law's neighbor invited me, twenty three female,

389
00:17:27,680 --> 00:17:30,760
Speaker 6: my fiance twenty three male, and our two kids three

390
00:17:30,760 --> 00:17:33,680
Speaker 6: male and two female, to an Easter thing they hold

391
00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:35,880
Speaker 6: every year, a glow Way in the Dark egg hunt.

392
00:17:35,960 --> 00:17:37,040
Speaker 3: Everything was going well.

393
00:17:37,119 --> 00:17:40,480
Speaker 6: My son ended up finding a prize egg of paper

394
00:17:40,520 --> 00:17:43,560
Speaker 6: in an egg that said prize. After we showed the

395
00:17:43,560 --> 00:17:46,240
Speaker 6: neighbor he got one. When they asked, they brought out

396
00:17:46,280 --> 00:17:48,919
Speaker 6: one of those big eggs. It had a five dollars

397
00:17:48,960 --> 00:17:51,640
Speaker 6: bill and lots of candy. By the way, this comes

398
00:17:51,640 --> 00:17:53,440
Speaker 6: from us, your blue Jolly rancher twenty and if you

399
00:17:53,480 --> 00:17:55,439
Speaker 6: want to submit your own stories, go to the r

400
00:17:55,680 --> 00:17:59,640
Speaker 6: slash okay storytime stubreddit where this story was submitted. Mother

401
00:17:59,680 --> 00:18:02,440
Speaker 6: in law offered to take my kid's baskets back home

402
00:18:02,480 --> 00:18:04,840
Speaker 6: with her, as my fiance had felt bad and went

403
00:18:04,880 --> 00:18:06,760
Speaker 6: to use the restroom over there, and I had both

404
00:18:06,760 --> 00:18:09,200
Speaker 6: of my toddlers to wrangle at someone else's house whom

405
00:18:09,200 --> 00:18:11,160
Speaker 6: I didn't know. When my fiance came back, we said

406
00:18:11,200 --> 00:18:14,240
Speaker 6: our goodbyes and thanked everyone for including us in the hunt.

407
00:18:14,280 --> 00:18:15,879
Speaker 6: We went back to my mother in law's house and

408
00:18:15,880 --> 00:18:17,480
Speaker 6: the baskets were on the end of the couch. I

409
00:18:17,560 --> 00:18:21,280
Speaker 6: noticed immediately Frie's egg had gone missing. Hard to miss

410
00:18:21,359 --> 00:18:23,280
Speaker 6: as it was a huge egg with a clear part

411
00:18:23,320 --> 00:18:24,840
Speaker 6: to it. I asked my mother in law about it,

412
00:18:24,840 --> 00:18:26,879
Speaker 6: and she said she put it away for safe epic.

413
00:18:27,080 --> 00:18:29,800
Speaker 6: My fiance also asked her where the egg had gone,

414
00:18:29,920 --> 00:18:32,800
Speaker 6: and she said she took it back to the neighbor's house,

415
00:18:32,960 --> 00:18:36,600
Speaker 6: which was empty. Now the next day, being Easter, everything

416
00:18:36,640 --> 00:18:39,160
Speaker 6: was going well. We had our own hunt and everything,

417
00:18:39,240 --> 00:18:41,480
Speaker 6: and that evening I asked my mother in law about

418
00:18:41,520 --> 00:18:43,680
Speaker 6: the prize she had put away so that my son

419
00:18:43,720 --> 00:18:45,600
Speaker 6: could have it. We also planned on letting him choose

420
00:18:45,600 --> 00:18:47,639
Speaker 6: a couple snacks and toys from the dollar store with

421
00:18:47,760 --> 00:18:49,600
Speaker 6: the five dollars he got, and if.

422
00:18:49,440 --> 00:18:51,760
Speaker 3: He went over, we were going to pay the remainder.

423
00:18:51,840 --> 00:18:54,200
Speaker 6: She told me quote, I'm going to open an account

424
00:18:54,200 --> 00:18:55,880
Speaker 6: for the kids and put that in it.

425
00:18:55,960 --> 00:18:57,040
Speaker 3: Mind you, number one.

426
00:18:57,280 --> 00:18:59,600
Speaker 6: She didn't discuss this with me and number two, it's

427
00:18:59,640 --> 00:19:02,359
Speaker 6: not her money to do anything with. It's my son's money,

428
00:19:02,400 --> 00:19:05,320
Speaker 6: and she stole it. I e taking something that doesn't

429
00:19:05,359 --> 00:19:08,399
Speaker 6: belong to you anyway. I said, okay, what about the

430
00:19:08,400 --> 00:19:10,199
Speaker 6: candy from it so he can have some? And she

431
00:19:10,400 --> 00:19:13,280
Speaker 6: blew up at me, saying, I don't know, you probably

432
00:19:13,440 --> 00:19:15,199
Speaker 6: ate it. Which get out of my room with that

433
00:19:15,320 --> 00:19:16,159
Speaker 6: crazy crap.

434
00:19:16,400 --> 00:19:19,040
Speaker 3: Why okay?

435
00:19:19,560 --> 00:19:21,960
Speaker 6: I walked out of the room, and as I did,

436
00:19:22,080 --> 00:19:25,160
Speaker 6: because I was rightfully angry and insulted, I said, what's

437
00:19:25,240 --> 00:19:26,640
Speaker 6: crazy is taking.

438
00:19:26,480 --> 00:19:28,399
Speaker 3: Five dollars from a toddler.

439
00:19:28,520 --> 00:19:31,040
Speaker 6: Immediately after I said that, as I was near the

440
00:19:31,080 --> 00:19:34,119
Speaker 6: bathroom door, barges out from her room and starts shoving

441
00:19:34,200 --> 00:19:36,879
Speaker 6: me and demanding I leave her house, which we had

442
00:19:36,880 --> 00:19:39,400
Speaker 6: stayed at for the past few months due to renovations

443
00:19:39,440 --> 00:19:40,640
Speaker 6: on our house and.

444
00:19:40,640 --> 00:19:42,560
Speaker 3: Her telling us to stay there.

445
00:19:42,800 --> 00:19:45,359
Speaker 6: He shoved me through the entire house while I said

446
00:19:45,440 --> 00:19:47,760
Speaker 6: I'd leave, but I'm taking my kids with me. She

447
00:19:47,840 --> 00:19:50,800
Speaker 6: yelled at me to get the f out now, called

448
00:19:50,840 --> 00:19:53,920
Speaker 6: me a b multiple times, shoving me the entire time

449
00:19:54,200 --> 00:19:56,520
Speaker 6: while I had my arms raised above my head. So

450
00:19:56,680 --> 00:19:59,840
Speaker 6: her daughter, sister in law, and her husband, father in law,

451
00:20:00,080 --> 00:20:03,440
Speaker 6: and my fiance could see I wasn't doing a dang

452
00:20:03,600 --> 00:20:06,840
Speaker 6: thing anyway. She kept pushing me and blocking me from

453
00:20:06,840 --> 00:20:10,320
Speaker 6: getting to my kids, which made me increasingly more upset.

454
00:20:10,440 --> 00:20:13,000
Speaker 6: My fiance then got up and got her off me

455
00:20:13,280 --> 00:20:15,440
Speaker 6: so I could get our kids and exit the house.

456
00:20:15,520 --> 00:20:18,800
Speaker 6: After not only her physically shoving me, but her daughter

457
00:20:18,960 --> 00:20:22,160
Speaker 6: as well. I called the police because she had physically

458
00:20:22,200 --> 00:20:24,520
Speaker 6: shoved me and her daughter and bought me from getting

459
00:20:24,560 --> 00:20:27,679
Speaker 6: my kids. All that over five dollars and candy that

460
00:20:27,720 --> 00:20:29,600
Speaker 6: belonged to my son. So am I the a hole

461
00:20:29,640 --> 00:20:32,360
Speaker 6: for asking about where she put my son's money in candy?

462
00:20:32,440 --> 00:20:35,280
Speaker 6: I mean, I don't think that's the right question, oh pie.

463
00:20:35,840 --> 00:20:37,960
Speaker 6: I think the right question is should we have called

464
00:20:38,000 --> 00:20:40,720
Speaker 6: the police on a crazy old lady, which, when you

465
00:20:40,760 --> 00:20:43,159
Speaker 6: strip away all the contexts, that's what that sounds like.

466
00:20:43,280 --> 00:20:45,800
Speaker 7: I mean, I don't think that she's necessarily in the

467
00:20:45,800 --> 00:20:48,480
Speaker 7: wrong for doing that. If she's asking, if she'd be

468
00:20:48,480 --> 00:20:50,280
Speaker 7: the a hole if she went back and asked for

469
00:20:50,320 --> 00:20:52,679
Speaker 7: it again, I say, hey, maybe give it up.

470
00:20:52,680 --> 00:20:55,040
Speaker 8: It's five dollars in some candy. But I get the

471
00:20:55,080 --> 00:20:55,840
Speaker 8: principle of it.

472
00:20:55,920 --> 00:20:57,640
Speaker 6: Yeah, it's still not even an a hole. It's more

473
00:20:57,720 --> 00:20:59,200
Speaker 6: just like a we're wasting our time.

474
00:20:59,080 --> 00:21:01,600
Speaker 7: Right, it's gonna get what you want, it's probably gonna

475
00:21:01,680 --> 00:21:02,920
Speaker 7: end up getting shoved again.

476
00:21:03,240 --> 00:21:04,960
Speaker 8: Let's just like not even take.

477
00:21:04,760 --> 00:21:06,879
Speaker 7: The l because you like, let's just get out of

478
00:21:06,880 --> 00:21:07,920
Speaker 7: that situation.

479
00:21:07,560 --> 00:21:08,679
Speaker 8: And not talk to her anymore.

480
00:21:08,800 --> 00:21:10,800
Speaker 6: I mean, is there anywhere else we can stay with

481
00:21:10,840 --> 00:21:13,240
Speaker 6: the renovations going on at your place?

482
00:21:13,400 --> 00:21:13,480
Speaker 3: Like?

483
00:21:13,600 --> 00:21:16,160
Speaker 6: Is there? Because it sounds like, you know, like realistically,

484
00:21:16,160 --> 00:21:17,640
Speaker 6: the police aren't gonna do anything here.

485
00:21:18,160 --> 00:21:20,560
Speaker 3: It's just gonna make the situation a little worse.

486
00:21:20,840 --> 00:21:23,960
Speaker 7: Realistically, if you needed the police so that she would

487
00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:27,240
Speaker 7: stop shoving you, if she was like really being like persistent,

488
00:21:27,280 --> 00:21:30,120
Speaker 7: whether or like chasing you or something. Yeah, like okay, fine,

489
00:21:30,160 --> 00:21:31,720
Speaker 7: Like I get the police in that moment, but like

490
00:21:31,760 --> 00:21:32,920
Speaker 7: stop going back to it.

491
00:21:33,119 --> 00:21:35,679
Speaker 6: Also, husband or his husband husband needed to be our

492
00:21:35,720 --> 00:21:36,640
Speaker 6: police in this situation.

493
00:21:36,800 --> 00:21:39,360
Speaker 8: Way quicker husband may have been wrangling kids.

494
00:21:40,000 --> 00:21:42,359
Speaker 6: Yeah, I know I might have been wrong to say

495
00:21:42,400 --> 00:21:44,919
Speaker 6: what I did, but seriously, taking five dollars for my

496
00:21:44,960 --> 00:21:47,680
Speaker 6: toddler without talking to me about it makes me so mad.

497
00:21:47,760 --> 00:21:50,400
Speaker 6: Why would you need to take my son's five dollars

498
00:21:50,520 --> 00:21:52,720
Speaker 6: with which we have been saying we would let him

499
00:21:52,720 --> 00:21:54,880
Speaker 6: pick out stuff with it that day and first off,

500
00:21:54,920 --> 00:21:57,960
Speaker 6: say you didn't touch his egg, but somehow have his

501
00:21:58,080 --> 00:22:00,760
Speaker 6: five dollars, and apparently you're gonna put it in the bank.

502
00:22:00,880 --> 00:22:03,520
Speaker 6: So am I in the wrong to even question it?

503
00:22:03,600 --> 00:22:05,359
Speaker 6: Not to mention, my father in law came at my

504
00:22:05,400 --> 00:22:08,600
Speaker 6: fiance with a heavy metal object in hand, and when

505
00:22:08,680 --> 00:22:11,160
Speaker 6: my fiance defended me and himself, my mother in law

506
00:22:11,160 --> 00:22:13,680
Speaker 6: tried to play victim. But as I was always told,

507
00:22:13,720 --> 00:22:15,959
Speaker 6: don't take stuff that isn't yours and don't put your

508
00:22:16,000 --> 00:22:18,840
Speaker 6: hands on people, I'm really tearing myself A part about

509
00:22:18,880 --> 00:22:21,280
Speaker 6: this also some context. I was eighteen when I moved

510
00:22:21,320 --> 00:22:23,639
Speaker 6: in with my fiance. Because of family issues, I had

511
00:22:23,680 --> 00:22:26,160
Speaker 6: always offered to help clean and do dishes around the house.

512
00:22:26,200 --> 00:22:28,199
Speaker 6: I got pregnant with my son at nineteen, but I

513
00:22:28,240 --> 00:22:30,399
Speaker 6: had been working and giving mother in law money for

514
00:22:30,480 --> 00:22:33,160
Speaker 6: our insurance on our car, et cetera, et cetera. When

515
00:22:33,160 --> 00:22:35,440
Speaker 6: I was pregnant with my son, I became violently ill,

516
00:22:35,520 --> 00:22:37,760
Speaker 6: to the point I lost fifteen pounds in a week.

517
00:22:38,000 --> 00:22:40,200
Speaker 3: I had to be put on medication for that too.

518
00:22:40,520 --> 00:22:43,080
Speaker 6: Mind you, I was still cleaning, et cetera, although not

519
00:22:43,119 --> 00:22:45,920
Speaker 6: as frequently because of my pregnancy and the symptom then

520
00:22:46,280 --> 00:22:48,600
Speaker 6: five months after my son was born, I found out

521
00:22:48,640 --> 00:22:51,560
Speaker 6: I was pregnant again With my daughter. We had already

522
00:22:51,560 --> 00:22:54,200
Speaker 6: moved out once prior, but the job my fiance had

523
00:22:54,320 --> 00:22:57,679
Speaker 6: didn't work out. Also, we've been engaged since our second anniversary.

524
00:22:57,800 --> 00:23:00,719
Speaker 6: My son was conceived five months later. Anyway, I suffered

525
00:23:00,720 --> 00:23:03,280
Speaker 6: severe PPD after my son was born, so much so

526
00:23:03,320 --> 00:23:05,879
Speaker 6: that I was diagnosed in the hospital two days after

527
00:23:06,040 --> 00:23:08,560
Speaker 6: my son was born. Mother in law said this when

528
00:23:08,560 --> 00:23:10,159
Speaker 6: I told her about it, quote, what do you have

529
00:23:10,200 --> 00:23:12,960
Speaker 6: to be depressed about? Also, father in law has a

530
00:23:13,040 --> 00:23:16,080
Speaker 6: drinking problem. From five am to the eight pm he

531
00:23:16,160 --> 00:23:18,480
Speaker 6: will drink. All they did prior was talked down on

532
00:23:18,520 --> 00:23:20,720
Speaker 6: me and call me names or just constantly talk crap

533
00:23:20,760 --> 00:23:23,159
Speaker 6: about me for absolutely no reason and constantly look for

534
00:23:23,200 --> 00:23:26,040
Speaker 6: reasons to say anything bad about me. They absolutely hated

535
00:23:26,040 --> 00:23:27,840
Speaker 6: when I would stand up for myself. I always tried

536
00:23:27,880 --> 00:23:30,359
Speaker 6: to be kind and connect with them with gifts, et cetera,

537
00:23:30,520 --> 00:23:33,280
Speaker 6: and always asking them how they were and genuinely wanting

538
00:23:33,320 --> 00:23:35,399
Speaker 6: to hear about how they were feeling or how their

539
00:23:35,520 --> 00:23:37,800
Speaker 6: day was. The gifts me or my fiance would give

540
00:23:37,840 --> 00:23:41,960
Speaker 6: them have gone unused or unworn or not even considered

541
00:23:42,040 --> 00:23:44,600
Speaker 6: now back to the main topic. After the cops were

542
00:23:44,600 --> 00:23:46,960
Speaker 6: called by me, I was threatened days later by my

543
00:23:47,000 --> 00:23:47,560
Speaker 6: father in law.

544
00:23:47,600 --> 00:23:50,840
Speaker 3: He said, goll the cops owners again and you'll find out. Well,

545
00:23:50,840 --> 00:23:53,880
Speaker 3: good jes he's too drunk to probably get up out

546
00:23:53,880 --> 00:23:55,680
Speaker 3: of his chair. That's that's good news.

547
00:23:55,760 --> 00:23:58,760
Speaker 6: Anyways, Now, my kids and I have absolutely no reason

548
00:23:58,800 --> 00:24:00,720
Speaker 6: to be in contact with them, and I don't want

549
00:24:00,760 --> 00:24:03,000
Speaker 6: them over there for any reason at all. Again, we

550
00:24:03,040 --> 00:24:06,080
Speaker 6: are in our owned home. I've been no contact with

551
00:24:06,119 --> 00:24:08,359
Speaker 6: them since the incident, other than going over there to

552
00:24:08,359 --> 00:24:10,880
Speaker 6: pick up my kids after my fiance had us drop

553
00:24:10,960 --> 00:24:13,000
Speaker 6: them off for a date night that was not planned

554
00:24:13,040 --> 00:24:16,040
Speaker 6: by me but my fiance and was only a quick

555
00:24:16,160 --> 00:24:18,520
Speaker 6: one hour meal. Don't want to leave your kids with them, Yeah,

556
00:24:18,600 --> 00:24:20,240
Speaker 6: not anymore, not after they're.

557
00:24:20,119 --> 00:24:21,200
Speaker 8: Like, you're no contact?

558
00:24:21,200 --> 00:24:21,560
Speaker 2: How are you?

559
00:24:21,720 --> 00:24:25,000
Speaker 7: I guess, Okay, maybe wife's contact, husband's not. But why

560
00:24:25,040 --> 00:24:27,280
Speaker 7: are we leaving the kids there after they were.

561
00:24:27,200 --> 00:24:29,000
Speaker 6: If dad's got a drinking problem, why are we leaving?

562
00:24:29,040 --> 00:24:30,480
Speaker 6: Why are we leaving the kids there? You know, a

563
00:24:30,520 --> 00:24:32,919
Speaker 6: baby not a great environment, but the children. The police

564
00:24:32,920 --> 00:24:35,080
Speaker 6: station called me and asked if I was going to

565
00:24:35,119 --> 00:24:37,679
Speaker 6: press charges for misdemeanors on my mother in law. I

566
00:24:37,680 --> 00:24:40,760
Speaker 6: decided not to only for the sake of less drama,

567
00:24:40,880 --> 00:24:44,280
Speaker 6: which is actually, spoiler alert, one of the best ways

568
00:24:44,320 --> 00:24:47,480
Speaker 6: to go about life. I have actually always cared about

569
00:24:47,520 --> 00:24:49,800
Speaker 6: my in laws. I'm just tired of them treating me

570
00:24:49,880 --> 00:24:50,399
Speaker 6: like garbage.

571
00:24:50,440 --> 00:24:51,159
Speaker 3: There's plenty more I.

572
00:24:51,160 --> 00:24:53,680
Speaker 6: Could share, especially due to the fact our nephew seven

573
00:24:53,840 --> 00:24:56,119
Speaker 6: sister in law's son was with me twenty four to

574
00:24:56,160 --> 00:24:58,200
Speaker 6: seven from the time I moved in until present day.

575
00:24:58,240 --> 00:25:00,520
Speaker 3: Even after the drama, he's been welcomed in to our home.

576
00:25:00,560 --> 00:25:02,440
Speaker 6: I had a friend post this for me before because

577
00:25:02,480 --> 00:25:04,600
Speaker 6: I lost my account but just regained access to not

578
00:25:04,600 --> 00:25:06,919
Speaker 6: being able to log in forgot the password. I just

579
00:25:06,960 --> 00:25:09,119
Speaker 6: need opinions on if I'm the a hole and should

580
00:25:09,119 --> 00:25:11,000
Speaker 6: have left it alone, or if I was right to

581
00:25:11,000 --> 00:25:13,720
Speaker 6: stand my ground, especially since it was my son's money

582
00:25:13,760 --> 00:25:15,720
Speaker 6: and candy, not mine, not mother in laws, but my

583
00:25:15,720 --> 00:25:17,760
Speaker 6: three year old son. Honestly, it makes me upset just

584
00:25:17,800 --> 00:25:20,200
Speaker 6: thinking about it, because it wasn't for me or my fiance,

585
00:25:20,400 --> 00:25:23,000
Speaker 6: but my son to spend. However, he wanted a bank

586
00:25:23,000 --> 00:25:25,399
Speaker 6: account to be opened costs one hundred dollars in the

587
00:25:25,400 --> 00:25:28,000
Speaker 6: first place. Why was it necessary to take my son's

588
00:25:28,119 --> 00:25:29,600
Speaker 6: five dollars batally.

589
00:25:29,400 --> 00:25:32,160
Speaker 8: Doesn't cost a hundred. But I get what you mean.

590
00:25:33,160 --> 00:25:36,600
Speaker 7: If you're distancing yourself, you're doing everything right already. It

591
00:25:36,760 --> 00:25:39,880
Speaker 7: was clearly awful, and you know the and we know that,

592
00:25:39,960 --> 00:25:41,880
Speaker 7: and everyone here knows that we know this.

593
00:25:42,160 --> 00:25:45,239
Speaker 6: Someone I spoke to ask me, are you sure it

594
00:25:45,320 --> 00:25:46,680
Speaker 6: wasn't given to nephew?

595
00:25:46,800 --> 00:25:47,840
Speaker 3: But I can't assume.

596
00:25:47,920 --> 00:25:50,680
Speaker 6: Although it initially crossed my mind the day the altercation happened,

597
00:25:50,680 --> 00:25:52,679
Speaker 6: because why was she so upset I'd asked about it?

598
00:25:52,720 --> 00:25:55,280
Speaker 6: The explosion happened at the question about the candy. It

599
00:25:55,359 --> 00:25:56,879
Speaker 6: was a lot of candy that was different from the

600
00:25:56,880 --> 00:25:59,320
Speaker 6: normal Eastern candy, which I didn't care if she had

601
00:25:59,359 --> 00:26:01,200
Speaker 6: taken it. The kid didn't need all that much anyway.

602
00:26:01,280 --> 00:26:02,800
Speaker 6: She could have just said I hate it and that

603
00:26:02,800 --> 00:26:04,520
Speaker 6: would have been fine. I don't know. I guess y'all

604
00:26:04,520 --> 00:26:07,159
Speaker 6: can tell how upset I am because I'm rambling. We're

605
00:26:07,160 --> 00:26:08,879
Speaker 6: comfortable at home now and I've chosen to go no

606
00:26:09,000 --> 00:26:11,000
Speaker 6: contact and my kids won't be around them until they

607
00:26:11,040 --> 00:26:13,920
Speaker 6: can apologize. I've always been nothing but respectful towards them,

608
00:26:13,920 --> 00:26:15,879
Speaker 6: and I've stood up for myself only a few times

609
00:26:16,000 --> 00:26:18,080
Speaker 6: due to the BS father in law.

610
00:26:18,119 --> 00:26:20,040
Speaker 3: Spewing away while wasted.

611
00:26:20,200 --> 00:26:22,160
Speaker 6: Me and fiance I have been together for five years,

612
00:26:22,280 --> 00:26:24,879
Speaker 6: engaged for four and have our two children, two female

613
00:26:24,880 --> 00:26:26,200
Speaker 6: and three male and three male.

614
00:26:26,480 --> 00:26:30,280
Speaker 3: Am I the a whole? No? No, No, you're not.

615
00:26:30,480 --> 00:26:30,800
Speaker 3: You're not.

616
00:26:31,000 --> 00:26:33,639
Speaker 6: It'd be different, Like I think I'm not a parent,

617
00:26:33,720 --> 00:26:35,960
Speaker 6: but like I think given the context that like your

618
00:26:36,040 --> 00:26:37,879
Speaker 6: kid was the one like sort of.

619
00:26:37,960 --> 00:26:40,160
Speaker 3: Slided here by three.

620
00:26:40,480 --> 00:26:43,080
Speaker 6: Yeah, it's like I would be really upset about that

621
00:26:43,200 --> 00:26:45,680
Speaker 6: because it's not me. You're affecting my kid, You're affecting

622
00:26:45,720 --> 00:26:46,680
Speaker 6: your grandchild.

623
00:26:46,920 --> 00:26:48,800
Speaker 1: Sam here og host. We're going to get back to

624
00:26:48,840 --> 00:26:51,360
Speaker 1: these stories. But here's three minutes fads from our sponsors.

625
00:26:51,359 --> 00:26:55,960
Speaker 9: First, I found unhinged messages on my boyfriend's phone.

626
00:26:56,160 --> 00:26:57,399
Speaker 5: I want to report it.

627
00:26:57,720 --> 00:26:58,680
Speaker 2: How unhinged?

628
00:26:59,280 --> 00:27:01,840
Speaker 9: Hi, Reddit's I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend,

629
00:27:01,920 --> 00:27:04,080
Speaker 9: let's call him Fred, for two and a half years.

630
00:27:04,240 --> 00:27:07,720
Speaker 9: We're both physicians. He's thirty and I'm twenty eight. I'll

631
00:27:07,720 --> 00:27:09,280
Speaker 9: try to give you a full picture so I can

632
00:27:09,280 --> 00:27:11,480
Speaker 9: get accurate perspectives from you all.

633
00:27:11,640 --> 00:27:13,520
Speaker 5: By the way, this comes from Babe.

634
00:27:14,800 --> 00:27:18,320
Speaker 9: If you want me here, oh story, go to the

635
00:27:18,480 --> 00:27:20,440
Speaker 9: r slash Showcay story time to Supreddit.

636
00:27:21,280 --> 00:27:23,600
Speaker 5: When we started dating, we saw each other almost every day.

637
00:27:23,800 --> 00:27:25,760
Speaker 9: Now I only see him maybe twice a week as

638
00:27:25,800 --> 00:27:28,520
Speaker 9: he works twenty four hour shifts at two hospitals A

639
00:27:28,680 --> 00:27:32,280
Speaker 9: and B, with only one day off in between, which he.

640
00:27:32,480 --> 00:27:35,320
Speaker 5: Spends mostly sleeping. He used to spend those days with me,

641
00:27:35,600 --> 00:27:37,359
Speaker 5: even if it was just a nap in my bed,

642
00:27:37,760 --> 00:27:40,080
Speaker 5: but not anymore. A bit of context.

643
00:27:40,240 --> 00:27:42,679
Speaker 9: Fred lost his job at Hospital A last summer, and

644
00:27:42,760 --> 00:27:45,600
Speaker 9: due to financial issues. His childhood best friend will call

645
00:27:45,640 --> 00:27:48,919
Speaker 9: him Tom, helped him get into Hospital B in October.

646
00:27:49,280 --> 00:27:52,520
Speaker 9: Then in December, Hospital A re hired him, so now

647
00:27:52,560 --> 00:27:54,840
Speaker 9: he works at both. For my part, I worked at

648
00:27:54,840 --> 00:27:58,200
Speaker 9: a healthcare center that shut down and I haven't found

649
00:27:58,200 --> 00:28:00,600
Speaker 9: another job since. I've been depressed most of my life,

650
00:28:00,640 --> 00:28:03,360
Speaker 9: and I've had low self esteem despite often being told

651
00:28:03,440 --> 00:28:07,040
Speaker 9: I'm attractive. I suspect Fred also struggles with insecurity, but

652
00:28:07,119 --> 00:28:10,159
Speaker 9: he hides it behind an overly confident facade. We were

653
00:28:10,240 --> 00:28:13,040
Speaker 9: similar in some ways, but very different in others. Fred

654
00:28:13,040 --> 00:28:15,880
Speaker 9: has always had trouble showing empathy, especially when I cry.

655
00:28:16,200 --> 00:28:19,280
Speaker 9: To be fair, it often happened during fights, but the

656
00:28:19,359 --> 00:28:22,080
Speaker 9: things we fought over were often petty. For example, one

657
00:28:22,119 --> 00:28:24,720
Speaker 9: time during dinner with my family. He got furious because

658
00:28:24,720 --> 00:28:27,119
Speaker 9: I leaned over to see who viewed a story that

659
00:28:27,200 --> 00:28:30,240
Speaker 9: he had posted. He accused me of being jealous and

660
00:28:30,320 --> 00:28:34,399
Speaker 9: made me cry, yet offered no comfort. Early in our relationship,

661
00:28:34,440 --> 00:28:36,720
Speaker 9: we used to work together in the same building. Briefly,

662
00:28:37,000 --> 00:28:40,200
Speaker 9: that's how we met. I found out by checking his phone. Yes,

663
00:28:40,280 --> 00:28:42,600
Speaker 9: I know that before we got together, he was flirting

664
00:28:42,640 --> 00:28:45,760
Speaker 9: with nearly every woman at her workplace except me. In

665
00:28:45,840 --> 00:28:48,280
Speaker 9: chats with Tom, he described how he was shooting his

666
00:28:48,360 --> 00:28:52,080
Speaker 9: shot with all the women. It was humiliating, especially since

667
00:28:52,120 --> 00:28:53,360
Speaker 9: I had made the first move.

668
00:28:53,680 --> 00:28:57,040
Speaker 2: Ooh dang man, he was so intimidated by you that

669
00:28:57,080 --> 00:28:58,280
Speaker 2: he couldn't do it, he was saying.

670
00:28:58,360 --> 00:28:58,719
Speaker 8: Yes.

671
00:28:58,920 --> 00:29:01,360
Speaker 2: The last actually have been.

672
00:29:02,840 --> 00:29:05,560
Speaker 9: A month into our relationship. I also caught him flirting

673
00:29:05,600 --> 00:29:06,360
Speaker 9: with another girl.

674
00:29:06,560 --> 00:29:07,400
Speaker 2: Uh oh.

675
00:29:07,640 --> 00:29:09,880
Speaker 9: He has a very high libido and was honest about

676
00:29:09,880 --> 00:29:12,240
Speaker 9: it from the start. I, on the other hand, had

677
00:29:12,280 --> 00:29:15,000
Speaker 9: barely any libido before meeting him, but spicy sleep with

678
00:29:15,080 --> 00:29:18,200
Speaker 9: him was great. Unfortunately, I've gained weight from antidepressants and

679
00:29:18,480 --> 00:29:21,360
Speaker 9: ED treatment, and now I barely have any spicy sleep drive.

680
00:29:21,880 --> 00:29:26,040
Speaker 9: I once attempt itself harmonew I'm also planning to leave

681
00:29:26,080 --> 00:29:28,560
Speaker 9: the country to continue my studies. We had talked about

682
00:29:28,600 --> 00:29:31,000
Speaker 9: going together, but he seems to have forgotten that plan.

683
00:29:31,200 --> 00:29:34,400
Speaker 9: After going back to Hospital A about six days ago.

684
00:29:34,480 --> 00:29:36,840
Speaker 9: I went through his phone again. Six months earlier, I

685
00:29:36,840 --> 00:29:39,280
Speaker 9: had seen a message where he commented on a coworker's

686
00:29:39,320 --> 00:29:42,280
Speaker 9: skirt with Tom, and another where Tom sent a picture

687
00:29:42,320 --> 00:29:46,400
Speaker 9: of a patient's chart, which is Leah, a coworker from

688
00:29:46,440 --> 00:29:50,760
Speaker 9: Hospital A, and Fred replied, do a guynecological exam on

689
00:29:50,800 --> 00:29:54,880
Speaker 9: her please, which was gross but not conclusive since she

690
00:29:55,000 --> 00:29:57,600
Speaker 9: was actually there for a obgyn surgery.

691
00:29:58,120 --> 00:30:02,160
Speaker 2: I don't think you hate it about that, though you wouldn't.

692
00:30:02,200 --> 00:30:06,240
Speaker 2: I assume you know, just text Doctors don't just text

693
00:30:06,280 --> 00:30:09,480
Speaker 2: each other. Hey, can you perform a GUYANO exam?

694
00:30:09,560 --> 00:30:09,960
Speaker 6: Yeah?

695
00:30:09,960 --> 00:30:12,760
Speaker 3: They're like, Yo, this is like interesting readings.

696
00:30:12,800 --> 00:30:14,880
Speaker 4: You really have to do this so I can understand

697
00:30:15,320 --> 00:30:16,600
Speaker 4: like what this really means.

698
00:30:16,800 --> 00:30:21,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, they're like, hey, can you send some military to Yemen?

699
00:30:22,280 --> 00:30:22,600
Speaker 4: Yeah?

700
00:30:22,640 --> 00:30:25,600
Speaker 9: That was a politics Around that time. Fred changed his

701
00:30:25,680 --> 00:30:28,640
Speaker 9: phone password, and we do have an edit. It seems

702
00:30:28,640 --> 00:30:31,440
Speaker 9: that everyone is reacting specifically bad towards this part.

703
00:30:31,520 --> 00:30:34,040
Speaker 5: I want to note. I want to note that, and

704
00:30:34,080 --> 00:30:34,440
Speaker 5: all of.

705
00:30:34,360 --> 00:30:38,120
Speaker 9: You might think I'm delusional, but Leah is Fred's friend

706
00:30:38,240 --> 00:30:40,760
Speaker 9: and a very chill coworker from Hospital A. He was

707
00:30:40,840 --> 00:30:44,360
Speaker 9: never mentioned again by Fred with Tom. Tom sent her

708
00:30:44,440 --> 00:30:47,000
Speaker 9: chart because she was at Hospital B and Fred already

709
00:30:47,080 --> 00:30:50,240
Speaker 9: knew that she was getting byboid surgery because they are friends.

710
00:30:50,320 --> 00:30:52,320
Speaker 9: Fred already knew that she was there in Hospital B,

711
00:30:52,440 --> 00:30:55,960
Speaker 9: so Tom's showing her chart was most likely him saying, hey, look,

712
00:30:56,040 --> 00:30:56,880
Speaker 9: she's already.

713
00:30:56,560 --> 00:30:59,080
Speaker 5: Here, and Fred told him to please do an exam.

714
00:30:58,800 --> 00:31:01,560
Speaker 9: On her to make sure that she's okay all because

715
00:31:01,600 --> 00:31:03,080
Speaker 9: Tom didn't laugh or anything.

716
00:31:03,160 --> 00:31:04,400
Speaker 5: Okay, does that make sense?

717
00:31:04,440 --> 00:31:09,120
Speaker 2: Oh Pee, you are reaching? Yeah, preaching? Oh oh pee.

718
00:31:09,920 --> 00:31:12,719
Speaker 9: I checked again recently because I had this sinking feeling.

719
00:31:12,840 --> 00:31:15,040
Speaker 9: He's lied to me before, like when he came to

720
00:31:15,120 --> 00:31:18,200
Speaker 9: my place wasted and swore that he hadn't had a drink.

721
00:31:18,440 --> 00:31:21,600
Speaker 9: But nothing could have prepared me for what I found

722
00:31:21,600 --> 00:31:24,920
Speaker 9: this time. Fred and Tom have been regularly objectifying and

723
00:31:25,000 --> 00:31:28,440
Speaker 9: nearly every attractive woman that they work with. Some messages

724
00:31:28,480 --> 00:31:32,880
Speaker 9: include Fred on Nurse Monica, her body is amazing, but

725
00:31:33,040 --> 00:31:36,560
Speaker 9: it's delicious her kitty it must be wild, dude, I

726
00:31:36,640 --> 00:31:39,400
Speaker 9: was staring at her huge front airbag. I want to

727
00:31:39,560 --> 00:31:44,280
Speaker 9: suck them all the plastic comes out immediately.

728
00:31:44,920 --> 00:31:49,920
Speaker 2: Hr yeah, ring ring ring, hr screenshot screenshots, screen shot,

729
00:31:50,040 --> 00:31:53,040
Speaker 2: here you go, literally the break up.

730
00:31:53,280 --> 00:31:55,640
Speaker 5: That is so insane.

731
00:31:56,720 --> 00:32:04,200
Speaker 9: Friends, Yeah, oh my god. Fred on nurse Elena, she

732
00:32:04,320 --> 00:32:06,440
Speaker 9: looked impossible to satisfy.

733
00:32:06,640 --> 00:32:08,840
Speaker 3: She must be crazy a bed nice but.

734
00:32:09,200 --> 00:32:13,200
Speaker 9: And Tom said, yeah, she says so. She claims herself

735
00:32:13,200 --> 00:32:16,120
Speaker 9: to be good. In bet Fred also sent Tom a picture.

736
00:32:16,240 --> 00:32:20,080
Speaker 9: These were already opened see want's picture pictures, so I

737
00:32:20,120 --> 00:32:23,479
Speaker 9: didn't see them of a woman. I suspect Monica or Elena.

738
00:32:23,520 --> 00:32:26,920
Speaker 9: Apparently some girls sent him a picture of selfie exercising

739
00:32:26,920 --> 00:32:28,080
Speaker 9: at home, and he said, you.

740
00:32:28,080 --> 00:32:28,800
Speaker 3: Won't believe this.

741
00:32:28,880 --> 00:32:31,719
Speaker 5: Look how hot she is. Look at her exercising.

742
00:32:31,200 --> 00:32:34,240
Speaker 9: At home, and since the weather is hot, and that

743
00:32:34,280 --> 00:32:38,160
Speaker 9: picture made him quote kind of Cordney. He claims that

744
00:32:38,200 --> 00:32:40,959
Speaker 9: they weren't sent directly to him, that those were actually

745
00:32:40,960 --> 00:32:44,080
Speaker 9: screenshots from a story and not from a chat with her.

746
00:32:44,400 --> 00:32:47,720
Speaker 9: Tom even joked, well, you see where she's going sending

747
00:32:47,720 --> 00:32:50,600
Speaker 9: you those pics. You should have two phones for you

748
00:32:50,720 --> 00:32:53,600
Speaker 9: to be able to save those pics, and Fred replied, nah,

749
00:32:53,600 --> 00:32:56,280
Speaker 9: I won't go that far. There was also another one

750
00:32:56,320 --> 00:32:59,080
Speaker 9: in April, in which Fred sent Tom a picture. Again,

751
00:32:59,200 --> 00:33:00,800
Speaker 9: I couldn't see those, to which Tom.

752
00:33:00,640 --> 00:33:02,840
Speaker 3: Replied, oh my gosh.

753
00:33:02,280 --> 00:33:04,920
Speaker 9: And then Fred said, you told me to shoot my

754
00:33:04,960 --> 00:33:08,200
Speaker 9: shot everywhere. There were also direct messages with some of

755
00:33:08,200 --> 00:33:11,280
Speaker 9: the women. He replied, pretty to one of Elena's stories,

756
00:33:11,280 --> 00:33:14,239
Speaker 9: he's one of those guys. His chats with Monica and

757
00:33:14,280 --> 00:33:17,320
Speaker 9: Beth seemed work related, but I suspect that he deletes messages.

758
00:33:17,760 --> 00:33:21,120
Speaker 9: His chat with Leah was empty. Then there was a

759
00:33:21,160 --> 00:33:25,160
Speaker 9: particularly disturbing message from Fred told Tom as students, I've

760
00:33:25,160 --> 00:33:27,560
Speaker 9: done with work on this shift. I'll go sleep with

761
00:33:27,680 --> 00:33:31,040
Speaker 9: Sam as in sleep next to someone during a shift. Wait,

762
00:33:31,080 --> 00:33:32,360
Speaker 9: what okay?

763
00:33:32,560 --> 00:33:33,040
Speaker 2: All right?

764
00:33:33,440 --> 00:33:35,960
Speaker 9: When I confronted him, he pretended to not know who

765
00:33:36,000 --> 00:33:38,640
Speaker 9: Sam was until I showed him proof that he follows

766
00:33:38,640 --> 00:33:40,800
Speaker 9: her on Instagram, and he changed his story, saying that

767
00:33:40,880 --> 00:33:43,200
Speaker 9: she was not on his shift, which was a lie,

768
00:33:43,360 --> 00:33:47,080
Speaker 9: and eventually admitted that she changed shifts in December, also

769
00:33:47,160 --> 00:33:50,840
Speaker 9: probably a lot. He keeps brushing all this off as jokes,

770
00:33:50,840 --> 00:33:52,440
Speaker 9: saying things like Monica's.

771
00:33:52,040 --> 00:33:54,600
Speaker 5: Front airbags are ugly anyway, and no one ever set

772
00:33:54,680 --> 00:33:57,160
Speaker 5: me a picture. And then he's not shooting this shot

773
00:33:57,200 --> 00:33:59,600
Speaker 5: at all because he works really hard. And that's true,

774
00:33:59,600 --> 00:34:01,560
Speaker 5: I guess because I know it's not easy.

775
00:34:01,280 --> 00:34:02,160
Speaker 2: To work in the er.

776
00:34:02,520 --> 00:34:05,200
Speaker 3: This is what happens when people are raised on Gray's anatomy.

777
00:34:05,440 --> 00:34:11,360
Speaker 2: Oh is it? You're literally gaslighting yourself if OP comes

778
00:34:11,400 --> 00:34:14,000
Speaker 2: out of this as like, Okay, we're working on it.

779
00:34:14,400 --> 00:34:17,839
Speaker 5: Yeah, girl, this man is disgusting.

780
00:34:18,520 --> 00:34:21,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, Like, are you not embarrassed to be dating him?

781
00:34:22,280 --> 00:34:22,560
Speaker 5: Yeah?

782
00:34:22,600 --> 00:34:27,759
Speaker 9: He's disgusting absolutely, I mean, terrible person in general. But

783
00:34:27,800 --> 00:34:30,399
Speaker 9: then also while saying all of these things while he's

784
00:34:30,440 --> 00:34:34,120
Speaker 9: literally dating you, literally dating is like in that like

785
00:34:34,200 --> 00:34:37,480
Speaker 9: I would, I mean, I feel like you couldn't technically

786
00:34:37,480 --> 00:34:40,080
Speaker 9: call that cheating, but like pretty much, I mean, yeah,

787
00:34:40,280 --> 00:34:43,120
Speaker 9: he's trying to feel the same. He's absolutely trying to cheat,

788
00:34:43,200 --> 00:34:45,560
Speaker 9: speaking as if he is Yeah, yeah. I mean like

789
00:34:45,680 --> 00:34:49,919
Speaker 9: it's commenting on girls things like pretty like that's yeah yeah,

790
00:34:50,360 --> 00:34:54,600
Speaker 9: but there's just too much, too many comments, too many lies.

791
00:34:54,840 --> 00:34:58,760
Speaker 9: I don't have concrete proof that he's physically cheated, but emotionally, mentally,

792
00:34:58,960 --> 00:35:02,520
Speaker 9: I feel like he's constantly only fishing for attention, testing boundaries,

793
00:35:02,920 --> 00:35:06,480
Speaker 9: looking at his coworkers in a spicy way, and mocking

794
00:35:06,520 --> 00:35:09,000
Speaker 9: women with his friend reading their chats. It made me

795
00:35:09,080 --> 00:35:12,120
Speaker 9: sick the way they talk about women like meat like

796
00:35:12,200 --> 00:35:16,040
Speaker 9: playthings is deeply dehumanizing. And it's not just one or

797
00:35:16,080 --> 00:35:20,160
Speaker 9: two messages, it's hundreds. And the worst part, he chose

798
00:35:20,200 --> 00:35:21,959
Speaker 9: to talk about all of this with his best friend

799
00:35:22,080 --> 00:35:25,919
Speaker 9: like it's normal. I feel so overwhelmed. I don't trust him.

800
00:35:25,960 --> 00:35:28,040
Speaker 9: I don't even know if I truly ever did. But

801
00:35:28,080 --> 00:35:31,080
Speaker 9: I also don't know if I'm overreacting. Is this something

802
00:35:31,160 --> 00:35:32,200
Speaker 9: men do just for fun?

803
00:35:32,320 --> 00:35:32,440
Speaker 6: All?

804
00:35:32,560 --> 00:35:32,800
Speaker 2: Come on?

805
00:35:33,120 --> 00:35:35,680
Speaker 9: Are these just jokes? Or is this the ugliest kind

806
00:35:35,719 --> 00:35:37,359
Speaker 9: of red flagged? What would you do if you were

807
00:35:37,360 --> 00:35:39,239
Speaker 9: in my shoes? There is an edit for the people

808
00:35:39,280 --> 00:35:41,359
Speaker 9: saying that I should report him. I know that you're

809
00:35:41,400 --> 00:35:44,600
Speaker 9: completely right. Unfortunately, this kind of behavior has been normalized

810
00:35:44,600 --> 00:35:47,200
Speaker 9: in my culture. You see residents cheating all the time

811
00:35:47,239 --> 00:35:48,280
Speaker 9: with the nurses and such.

812
00:35:48,360 --> 00:35:51,800
Speaker 2: This the thing is, this isn't cheating. This isn't Yeah,

813
00:35:51,840 --> 00:35:56,440
Speaker 2: two people who you know have made a decision together

814
00:35:56,680 --> 00:35:59,000
Speaker 2: to cheat on you know, their partners whatever. They are

815
00:35:59,000 --> 00:36:02,359
Speaker 2: two adults who have made am the decision. That's bad, sure,

816
00:36:02,400 --> 00:36:06,560
Speaker 2: totally different. That is a consensual agreement between those two parties.

817
00:36:06,880 --> 00:36:11,279
Speaker 2: This is two freaking creeps, Yeah, creep like freaking predators

818
00:36:11,560 --> 00:36:16,440
Speaker 2: who are commenting on all the professionals that they work with, yeah,

819
00:36:16,520 --> 00:36:18,839
Speaker 2: and saying disgusting.

820
00:36:18,120 --> 00:36:23,120
Speaker 9: Things and also cheating on you exactly exactly. I was

821
00:36:23,160 --> 00:36:25,920
Speaker 9: in such a shock and still processing all of this.

822
00:36:26,200 --> 00:36:28,920
Speaker 9: My whole body is shaking from being so vulnerable by

823
00:36:28,920 --> 00:36:29,800
Speaker 9: sharing this post.

824
00:36:30,080 --> 00:36:32,560
Speaker 5: And I also want to thank all the kind words.

825
00:36:32,719 --> 00:36:33,799
Speaker 5: I really needed them.

826
00:36:34,200 --> 00:36:36,680
Speaker 9: Also, I do work but from home, but it's not

827
00:36:36,840 --> 00:36:39,439
Speaker 9: nearly as lucrative as working in a health center, which

828
00:36:39,440 --> 00:36:41,360
Speaker 9: has led to me not being able to pay my

829
00:36:41,400 --> 00:36:47,440
Speaker 9: therapist anymore. I LIKENEDO to immediately break up with her boyfriend, yeah, totum,

830
00:36:47,520 --> 00:36:49,600
Speaker 9: because I'm gonna be mad if that doesn't end.

831
00:36:49,920 --> 00:36:51,840
Speaker 2: This is not someone you want to be with.

832
00:36:51,960 --> 00:36:54,440
Speaker 9: It's not someone you want to eventually start a family

833
00:36:54,480 --> 00:36:55,680
Speaker 9: with and have sons with.

834
00:36:56,000 --> 00:36:56,839
Speaker 3: No, no, no, no.

835
00:36:57,080 --> 00:36:59,160
Speaker 2: You do not want this person to be around daughters.

836
00:36:59,200 --> 00:37:03,320
Speaker 2: You do not want this person to be raising suns. Nope, nope, nope, nope.

837
00:37:03,680 --> 00:37:05,520
Speaker 5: There is a little bit of an update, so let's

838
00:37:05,520 --> 00:37:06,080
Speaker 5: get into it.

839
00:37:06,239 --> 00:37:08,800
Speaker 9: I really didn't expect for so many people to respond

840
00:37:08,840 --> 00:37:11,080
Speaker 9: and to be so invested in this situation. It's even

841
00:37:11,080 --> 00:37:13,399
Speaker 9: funny to read some people saying it's fake. It's also

842
00:37:13,520 --> 00:37:16,360
Speaker 9: worth noting that I did use AI to improve my writing.

843
00:37:16,480 --> 00:37:19,440
Speaker 9: If I hadn't, I think I wouldn't have been able

844
00:37:19,480 --> 00:37:22,360
Speaker 9: to get my pointing cross. It's shocking seeing people's negative

845
00:37:22,360 --> 00:37:24,920
Speaker 9: reactions for everything, even for things that I talked about

846
00:37:24,920 --> 00:37:27,759
Speaker 9: early about our relationship that I didn't think were that bad.

847
00:37:28,040 --> 00:37:30,239
Speaker 9: I didn't plan to continue with this ugly story, but

848
00:37:30,320 --> 00:37:33,000
Speaker 9: since so many people are invested here, it goes Today.

849
00:37:33,040 --> 00:37:34,880
Speaker 9: I spoke with him, telling him that I'm going to

850
00:37:34,880 --> 00:37:38,120
Speaker 9: report him to his female bosses because he also spoke

851
00:37:38,120 --> 00:37:41,000
Speaker 9: about them, but I didn't add that, and he got

852
00:37:41,040 --> 00:37:43,760
Speaker 9: so mad that he told me that he's my enemy,

853
00:37:43,880 --> 00:37:44,600
Speaker 9: now what.

854
00:37:45,120 --> 00:37:47,240
Speaker 5: And that we should break up. It's over.

855
00:37:47,719 --> 00:37:49,960
Speaker 9: And he also responded with a threat, saying that that

856
00:37:50,160 --> 00:37:52,479
Speaker 9: was an illegal invasion to privacy and that he would

857
00:37:52,520 --> 00:37:54,799
Speaker 9: speak to his cousin who's an attorney, and that his

858
00:37:54,920 --> 00:37:56,239
Speaker 9: parents will find out about this.

859
00:37:56,360 --> 00:37:58,680
Speaker 2: Come on, Nope, he doesn't need like, she's not the police,

860
00:37:58,680 --> 00:37:59,680
Speaker 2: she doesn't need a warrant.

861
00:38:00,239 --> 00:38:01,040
Speaker 5: Yeah yeah.

862
00:38:01,360 --> 00:38:03,640
Speaker 2: Is it maybe bad for the relationship to snoop in

863
00:38:03,680 --> 00:38:07,239
Speaker 2: someone's phone? Yeah, sure, you're not on trial. Yeah, you

864
00:38:07,320 --> 00:38:08,600
Speaker 2: can snoop in your phone.

865
00:38:08,680 --> 00:38:10,879
Speaker 9: That's that's also just a funny way of saying it. Too,

866
00:38:11,080 --> 00:38:14,120
Speaker 9: like like that's illegal. I'm gonna tell my parents about it.

867
00:38:14,320 --> 00:38:16,560
Speaker 9: Come on, like, that's that's not.

868
00:38:16,480 --> 00:38:18,280
Speaker 3: Just tell your parents what you were doing.

869
00:38:18,360 --> 00:38:21,000
Speaker 5: So yeah, it's like great, I'll like, are you going

870
00:38:21,040 --> 00:38:21,960
Speaker 5: to tell them what I found?

871
00:38:22,440 --> 00:38:24,799
Speaker 3: Everyone should know about this? Actually, yeah, please.

872
00:38:24,560 --> 00:38:27,760
Speaker 9: Tell that everyone, right, And I'm very close with his parents,

873
00:38:27,880 --> 00:38:31,160
Speaker 9: so he will be prepared, and I told him, Okay.

874
00:38:31,480 --> 00:38:33,600
Speaker 9: What amazed me at that moment is that he would

875
00:38:33,600 --> 00:38:35,320
Speaker 9: be okay with his family finding out.

876
00:38:35,120 --> 00:38:37,480
Speaker 5: The things that he says. But oh, well, that I

877
00:38:37,480 --> 00:38:39,960
Speaker 5: guess is for the best. It's all too overwhelming.

878
00:38:40,320 --> 00:38:43,239
Speaker 9: But I do feel some clarity now and that is

879
00:38:43,280 --> 00:38:44,360
Speaker 9: the end of that story.

880
00:38:44,520 --> 00:38:44,840
Speaker 3: Wow.

881
00:38:45,000 --> 00:38:48,680
Speaker 9: Well, I'm glad that OPI is out of that situation

882
00:38:48,840 --> 00:38:54,440
Speaker 9: because holy crap, Holy crap, man, yikes, yikes, Yi, my

883
00:38:54,560 --> 00:38:58,480
Speaker 9: boyfriend snuck out on me just to avoid parenting duties.

884
00:38:58,680 --> 00:39:00,680
Speaker 3: Oh, because she's still a boy.

885
00:39:01,400 --> 00:39:03,560
Speaker 5: My boyfriend and I have a three year old daughter together.

886
00:39:03,920 --> 00:39:06,560
Speaker 9: He used to go away very occasionally by himself before

887
00:39:06,560 --> 00:39:09,120
Speaker 9: we had her, and this has increased quite a lot

888
00:39:09,160 --> 00:39:12,080
Speaker 9: since she was born. Not for long periods, just a

889
00:39:12,160 --> 00:39:14,759
Speaker 9: night or two. He also visits his daughter from a

890
00:39:14,800 --> 00:39:16,720
Speaker 9: previous relationship, which is fine.

891
00:39:16,760 --> 00:39:18,839
Speaker 5: But I'm mentioning this as it's relevant later.

892
00:39:19,080 --> 00:39:19,759
Speaker 2: By the way, this.

893
00:39:19,680 --> 00:39:22,800
Speaker 9: Comes from additional whereas six and If you want to

894
00:39:22,800 --> 00:39:25,000
Speaker 9: submit your own stories, go to the r slash Okay

895
00:39:25,040 --> 00:39:29,200
Speaker 9: storytime subbreddit. He is notoriously bad for informing me when

896
00:39:29,280 --> 00:39:32,040
Speaker 9: he is going away. He always claims he told me

897
00:39:32,200 --> 00:39:34,719
Speaker 9: and I forgot. There have been times where he has

898
00:39:34,800 --> 00:39:37,279
Speaker 9: arranged to see his daughter on weekends when plans have

899
00:39:37,400 --> 00:39:38,200
Speaker 9: already been made.

900
00:39:38,400 --> 00:39:41,040
Speaker 2: These were all pre the VID.

901
00:39:42,239 --> 00:39:44,520
Speaker 9: Once I had arranged for my mom to babysit for

902
00:39:44,520 --> 00:39:47,120
Speaker 9: our anniversary and for us to go out. Another time,

903
00:39:47,160 --> 00:39:48,960
Speaker 9: I was meant to be attending a baby shower and

904
00:39:49,040 --> 00:39:51,759
Speaker 9: needed him to watch our daughter. Another time, I had

905
00:39:51,840 --> 00:39:54,279
Speaker 9: arranged to go to the theater with a friend. His

906
00:39:54,360 --> 00:39:57,239
Speaker 9: daughter lives quite far away, so he wouldn't have made

907
00:39:57,239 --> 00:39:59,560
Speaker 9: it back in time to watch our daughter. He was

908
00:39:59,600 --> 00:40:02,480
Speaker 9: fully aware of all these plans, and he claimed that

909
00:40:02,560 --> 00:40:05,600
Speaker 9: he forgot When arranging to see his daughter. I didn't

910
00:40:05,600 --> 00:40:07,799
Speaker 9: ask him to cancel, as it is not fair on her,

911
00:40:08,040 --> 00:40:11,799
Speaker 9: so I had to make other arrangements in each case. Obviously,

912
00:40:12,160 --> 00:40:15,000
Speaker 9: he has been going away less because of restrictions. As

913
00:40:15,000 --> 00:40:18,680
Speaker 9: soon as they east. He has been going away. I

914
00:40:18,920 --> 00:40:21,239
Speaker 9: have never had a night away from our daughter. I

915
00:40:21,400 --> 00:40:24,240
Speaker 9: had made a couple plans, but each time a lockdown happened,

916
00:40:24,280 --> 00:40:27,480
Speaker 9: so obviously they got canceled. He says he encourages me

917
00:40:27,600 --> 00:40:29,560
Speaker 9: to go away and that he is not stopping me.

918
00:40:29,880 --> 00:40:32,160
Speaker 9: I have tried to explain that his going away so

919
00:40:32,280 --> 00:40:35,200
Speaker 9: much does stop me as someone needs to look after

920
00:40:35,239 --> 00:40:35,880
Speaker 9: our child.

921
00:40:36,120 --> 00:40:40,839
Speaker 6: Yes, it's like, hello boy, do you not understand the

922
00:40:40,880 --> 00:40:43,120
Speaker 6: baby can't take care of itself right.

923
00:40:44,360 --> 00:40:46,719
Speaker 9: It's not comfortable for either of my parents to watch

924
00:40:46,719 --> 00:40:49,280
Speaker 9: her yet, just in case of any risk in the summer,

925
00:40:49,320 --> 00:40:51,960
Speaker 9: once restrictions are lifted, I have arranged to see my

926
00:40:52,000 --> 00:40:54,320
Speaker 9: friend for a couple of days. I told him about

927
00:40:54,360 --> 00:40:56,160
Speaker 9: it and he said I couldn't do it on that

928
00:40:56,280 --> 00:40:58,720
Speaker 9: date because he was going on a cycle holiday.

929
00:40:59,280 --> 00:41:01,520
Speaker 5: I told him that he hasn't told me anything.

930
00:41:01,280 --> 00:41:04,080
Speaker 9: About this, and yet again he claims that he did

931
00:41:04,280 --> 00:41:07,239
Speaker 9: and I just forgot. He asked me to cancel it,

932
00:41:07,280 --> 00:41:10,120
Speaker 9: saying that I could go to my friends anytime. I

933
00:41:10,200 --> 00:41:13,160
Speaker 9: could rearrange it, but feel that I shouldn't have to.

934
00:41:13,640 --> 00:41:17,400
Speaker 9: He could also rearrange camping, so I have been refusing

935
00:41:17,680 --> 00:41:20,400
Speaker 9: and he is now in a sulk. Am I the

936
00:41:20,440 --> 00:41:22,920
Speaker 9: a hole for not rearranging my plans. And there is

937
00:41:22,960 --> 00:41:26,000
Speaker 9: a little edit. I had gotten a family calendar when

938
00:41:26,040 --> 00:41:28,760
Speaker 9: the issues of him double booking seeing his daughter arose.

939
00:41:29,280 --> 00:41:31,400
Speaker 9: Problem is he will only write in it if I

940
00:41:31,520 --> 00:41:33,840
Speaker 9: nag him to do so, or he will say that

941
00:41:33,880 --> 00:41:36,120
Speaker 9: he'll do it later, and not to treat him like

942
00:41:36,200 --> 00:41:38,759
Speaker 9: a child. The verdict from the comments is not the

943
00:41:38,800 --> 00:41:40,759
Speaker 9: a whole, but I want to hear your answer A

944
00:41:40,880 --> 00:41:41,400
Speaker 9: whole or not.

945
00:41:42,040 --> 00:41:43,000
Speaker 3: Definitely not the ale.

946
00:41:43,320 --> 00:41:47,960
Speaker 6: Your partner is child and I would immediately start pressuring

947
00:41:48,000 --> 00:41:51,440
Speaker 6: him like, look, if you can't do this stuff, clearly

948
00:41:51,640 --> 00:41:54,640
Speaker 6: like you don't want to be in our daughter's life

949
00:41:55,000 --> 00:41:56,759
Speaker 6: as much as you want to be in your other

950
00:41:56,960 --> 00:42:00,279
Speaker 6: daughter's life exactly. So if that's the case, let's just

951
00:42:00,360 --> 00:42:03,279
Speaker 6: go ahead and set up however much money you're gonna

952
00:42:03,280 --> 00:42:07,000
Speaker 6: send me. Yep, yes, I'm going to rerange my plans.

953
00:42:07,160 --> 00:42:10,839
Speaker 6: But can you watch the kid? No? No, I have plans. Well,

954
00:42:10,960 --> 00:42:13,920
Speaker 6: so I can't rearrange my plans. You absolute do fiz.

955
00:42:13,760 --> 00:42:16,120
Speaker 5: So STPID there are some relevant comments.

956
00:42:16,200 --> 00:42:18,880
Speaker 9: So in response to an INFO request about what the

957
00:42:18,920 --> 00:42:21,839
Speaker 9: boyfriend is like as a father, Oh, he says he

958
00:42:21,880 --> 00:42:24,680
Speaker 9: loves our daughter to pieces, but is very much for

959
00:42:24,800 --> 00:42:27,319
Speaker 9: the fun stuff. He has started helping a bit more,

960
00:42:27,560 --> 00:42:29,680
Speaker 9: but the last year he has been helping with part

961
00:42:29,719 --> 00:42:32,560
Speaker 9: time and bedtime. Before that, it was just me doing

962
00:42:32,600 --> 00:42:35,360
Speaker 9: those things. She wakes up regularly in the night. It

963
00:42:35,440 --> 00:42:38,479
Speaker 9: is always me attending to her because but he says

964
00:42:38,520 --> 00:42:41,759
Speaker 9: that it's not his fault he's a heavy sleeper. I

965
00:42:41,800 --> 00:42:44,399
Speaker 9: have had to wake him before when she has been

966
00:42:44,520 --> 00:42:45,759
Speaker 9: up from one am.

967
00:42:45,920 --> 00:42:47,359
Speaker 2: She wasn't settling back down.

968
00:42:47,400 --> 00:42:48,960
Speaker 9: And I have work in the morning, so I can

969
00:42:48,960 --> 00:42:51,480
Speaker 9: get a couple of hours of sleep before work. Small

970
00:42:51,600 --> 00:42:55,760
Speaker 9: update here, This is four months later. Whoa Okay, okay,

971
00:42:55,880 --> 00:42:58,520
Speaker 9: big jump. Now the baby's taking care of itself.

972
00:42:58,680 --> 00:43:00,359
Speaker 5: Yeah, right, now she's old enough.

973
00:43:00,920 --> 00:43:02,760
Speaker 9: So I had a word with him about the family

974
00:43:02,800 --> 00:43:06,360
Speaker 9: calendar and people's suggestions about if it's not on the calendar,

975
00:43:06,480 --> 00:43:08,640
Speaker 9: it doesn't exist, making.

976
00:43:08,320 --> 00:43:09,879
Speaker 5: Sure my time away.

977
00:43:09,800 --> 00:43:10,480
Speaker 2: Was on there.

978
00:43:10,840 --> 00:43:12,719
Speaker 9: He seemed to go along with it and said that

979
00:43:12,760 --> 00:43:16,880
Speaker 9: he would reschedule his cycle trip. Great, I thought, until

980
00:43:16,880 --> 00:43:19,160
Speaker 9: it came to the morning of the trip. My boyfriend

981
00:43:19,200 --> 00:43:21,480
Speaker 9: often gets up super early and I roll over and

982
00:43:21,560 --> 00:43:23,279
Speaker 9: go back to sleep, so I thought nothing of it

983
00:43:23,320 --> 00:43:24,240
Speaker 9: when he was up early.

984
00:43:24,840 --> 00:43:26,040
Speaker 5: I see where this is going.

985
00:43:26,560 --> 00:43:28,920
Speaker 9: I heard the door go, but just presumed that he

986
00:43:29,480 --> 00:43:31,120
Speaker 9: was taking out of the bins or something.

987
00:43:31,600 --> 00:43:32,120
Speaker 5: But when I.

988
00:43:32,080 --> 00:43:35,440
Speaker 9: Woke up, I couldn't find him and the car had gone.

989
00:43:36,000 --> 00:43:38,640
Speaker 9: I tried to phone him, but no answer. Some of

990
00:43:38,640 --> 00:43:39,640
Speaker 9: his stuff had gone.

991
00:43:39,920 --> 00:43:40,160
Speaker 3: WHOA.

992
00:43:40,320 --> 00:43:42,200
Speaker 9: I asked my neighbor to check his garage for my

993
00:43:42,239 --> 00:43:45,360
Speaker 9: boyfriend's bike where he keeps it, but it had gone.

994
00:43:46,120 --> 00:43:50,240
Speaker 9: Confused and quietly seething at this point, trying his phone

995
00:43:50,320 --> 00:43:53,680
Speaker 9: a couple of more times, nothing. I phone my friend

996
00:43:53,719 --> 00:43:56,120
Speaker 9: at this point, saying that I can find him and

997
00:43:56,360 --> 00:44:00,319
Speaker 9: will probably miss my train. But about midday I get

998
00:44:00,320 --> 00:44:03,400
Speaker 9: a phone call. He had gone on his trip. He

999
00:44:03,480 --> 00:44:06,319
Speaker 9: tells me to check the calendar. He has typed out

1000
00:44:06,320 --> 00:44:09,480
Speaker 9: my writing and written in his trip. I say a

1001
00:44:09,520 --> 00:44:12,560
Speaker 9: few choice words to him. He basically says that it's

1002
00:44:12,640 --> 00:44:15,480
Speaker 9: my fall, as I should have gotten up earlier. So

1003
00:44:15,600 --> 00:44:17,560
Speaker 9: I told him that he won and he is now

1004
00:44:17,640 --> 00:44:20,680
Speaker 9: free to go on as many cycle trips as he once.

1005
00:44:20,760 --> 00:44:23,920
Speaker 3: Now. Oh, yes, and I bet you now, he goes, Wait,

1006
00:44:24,400 --> 00:44:27,600
Speaker 3: but what do you mean by that? Are you mad?

1007
00:44:27,960 --> 00:44:28,759
Speaker 2: Yeah? Do fish?

1008
00:44:28,840 --> 00:44:30,640
Speaker 3: I'm mad? Yeah, of course I'm mad at you.

1009
00:44:31,000 --> 00:44:33,239
Speaker 9: Like, go ahead, you go on your cycle trips. You

1010
00:44:33,320 --> 00:44:34,640
Speaker 9: just can't see our daughter anymore.

1011
00:44:34,800 --> 00:44:36,279
Speaker 2: Yep. Sorry.

1012
00:44:36,560 --> 00:44:40,120
Speaker 9: Friends suggested taking the kids to the seaside because her

1013
00:44:40,120 --> 00:44:43,000
Speaker 9: son is a similar age. We spent the next day

1014
00:44:43,040 --> 00:44:45,399
Speaker 9: at the beach and had a nice time. I told

1015
00:44:45,400 --> 00:44:48,560
Speaker 9: my boyfriend to not come back. He says, I'm overreacting,

1016
00:44:48,760 --> 00:44:50,120
Speaker 9: but I am done.

1017
00:44:50,160 --> 00:44:50,799
Speaker 2: Good for you.

1018
00:44:51,000 --> 00:44:55,320
Speaker 5: There is another small update, but yeah, take him to court.

1019
00:44:55,880 --> 00:44:58,120
Speaker 5: You're like, okay, you I have not.

1020
00:44:58,200 --> 00:45:00,120
Speaker 9: Had a day off, like you change all these thing.

1021
00:45:00,200 --> 00:45:03,000
Speaker 9: You're basically an absent father, only there for the fun stuff.

1022
00:45:03,200 --> 00:45:05,799
Speaker 9: Like I'm wondering if even if she did go on

1023
00:45:05,880 --> 00:45:07,319
Speaker 9: some sort of trip or go to a friend's house

1024
00:45:07,400 --> 00:45:08,040
Speaker 9: or something.

1025
00:45:07,840 --> 00:45:10,080
Speaker 5: Would he even be able to take care of this child.

1026
00:45:10,160 --> 00:45:12,680
Speaker 3: Yeah, I feel like I'm gonna trust him. I doubt it.

1027
00:45:12,680 --> 00:45:14,960
Speaker 6: It doesn't sound like he really is the primary caretaker

1028
00:45:15,000 --> 00:45:17,960
Speaker 6: of any of the kids. Yeah, you know, he's just

1029
00:45:18,040 --> 00:45:20,400
Speaker 6: the fun parent that comes in with the gifts and

1030
00:45:20,640 --> 00:45:22,920
Speaker 6: whatever for I guess for his other daughter.

1031
00:45:23,160 --> 00:45:25,280
Speaker 5: Just wants to enjoy a cute little baby.

1032
00:45:25,400 --> 00:45:26,000
Speaker 3: Yeah.

1033
00:45:26,080 --> 00:45:29,640
Speaker 5: He came back on Sunday. Unfortunately, can't change the logs

1034
00:45:29,680 --> 00:45:33,320
Speaker 5: due to renting. He came back like nothing had really happened.

1035
00:45:33,719 --> 00:45:36,120
Speaker 5: I calmly asked him to leave, as our daughter was

1036
00:45:36,160 --> 00:45:39,160
Speaker 5: about He said he wasn't going anywhere and he will

1037
00:45:39,200 --> 00:45:41,320
Speaker 5: watch her next week so I could go away.

1038
00:45:42,040 --> 00:45:42,920
Speaker 3: I said, I.

1039
00:45:42,920 --> 00:45:46,160
Speaker 9: Couldn't believe that he has completely missed the point of

1040
00:45:46,200 --> 00:45:48,839
Speaker 9: what he has done. I called my brother and asked

1041
00:45:48,880 --> 00:45:51,279
Speaker 9: him to pick us up. We have been staying there

1042
00:45:51,400 --> 00:45:53,760
Speaker 9: until I can sort out the practical parts of the split.

1043
00:45:54,200 --> 00:45:57,000
Speaker 9: My ex has called NonStop and turned up at my

1044
00:45:57,040 --> 00:46:00,760
Speaker 9: brother's house, where my brother turned him away. He has

1045
00:46:00,840 --> 00:46:04,600
Speaker 9: finally apologized. I said that I am still done. I

1046
00:46:04,680 --> 00:46:07,920
Speaker 9: just don't have the energy or the will anymore. There

1047
00:46:07,920 --> 00:46:11,200
Speaker 9: are some relevant comments in response to an info request

1048
00:46:11,239 --> 00:46:14,839
Speaker 9: about who owns their residence we rent. Both names are

1049
00:46:14,880 --> 00:46:16,759
Speaker 9: on the lease. I'm hoping that he will do the

1050
00:46:16,800 --> 00:46:20,000
Speaker 9: sensible thing and stay with his friend. Unfortunately, the reality

1051
00:46:20,040 --> 00:46:22,320
Speaker 9: is that I can't punt him out and change the locks.

1052
00:46:22,400 --> 00:46:24,239
Speaker 9: And he is due back on the Sunday, and as

1053
00:46:24,239 --> 00:46:25,359
Speaker 9: we know, he came back on some day.

1054
00:46:25,440 --> 00:46:28,719
Speaker 6: I would certainly not bet on him being reasonable.

1055
00:46:29,000 --> 00:46:31,319
Speaker 9: Oh, he says, I'm back at the flat now with

1056
00:46:31,400 --> 00:46:33,960
Speaker 9: my daughter. Exus staying with the friend who has a

1057
00:46:33,960 --> 00:46:36,520
Speaker 9: spare room. He is helping out with the rent a

1058
00:46:36,560 --> 00:46:39,239
Speaker 9: bit until I can find somewhere more affordable. For the

1059
00:46:39,280 --> 00:46:41,960
Speaker 9: last two weeks he has turned up on one Saturday.

1060
00:46:42,440 --> 00:46:45,000
Speaker 9: He is giving me child sport at the moment, which

1061
00:46:45,040 --> 00:46:47,000
Speaker 9: we are doing directly between us.

1062
00:46:47,400 --> 00:46:48,399
Speaker 5: He seems to think that he.

1063
00:46:48,400 --> 00:46:50,520
Speaker 9: Is just giving me space, despite the fact that I

1064
00:46:50,600 --> 00:46:53,319
Speaker 9: have told him I am done. My priority for the

1065
00:46:53,320 --> 00:46:55,400
Speaker 9: moment is making sure that my daughter is as settled

1066
00:46:55,440 --> 00:46:58,120
Speaker 9: as possible. It has been very difficult for her not

1067
00:46:58,160 --> 00:47:00,959
Speaker 9: having him about as much as she used to. I'm

1068
00:47:01,000 --> 00:47:03,000
Speaker 9: still at the flat until the lease is up. My

1069
00:47:03,080 --> 00:47:04,759
Speaker 9: ex is still at a friends as far as I know.

1070
00:47:05,000 --> 00:47:07,520
Speaker 9: He has started seeing someone else and visits with our

1071
00:47:07,600 --> 00:47:11,000
Speaker 9: daughter have become a little bit sporadic. But it's only

1072
00:47:11,080 --> 00:47:12,920
Speaker 9: been a month and he only sees her once a

1073
00:47:12,960 --> 00:47:15,680
Speaker 9: week anyway, So I will give it a little bit longer,

1074
00:47:16,160 --> 00:47:18,319
Speaker 9: and if it keeps changing, then I think I may

1075
00:47:18,360 --> 00:47:20,239
Speaker 9: have to go to court. But I don't want to

1076
00:47:20,239 --> 00:47:23,520
Speaker 9: stop her from seeing her dad, but also don't want

1077
00:47:23,600 --> 00:47:25,040
Speaker 9: him constantly.

1078
00:47:24,560 --> 00:47:26,640
Speaker 5: Letting her down. And there is an update.

1079
00:47:27,000 --> 00:47:29,759
Speaker 6: Well, at least he did the sensible thing of not

1080
00:47:30,239 --> 00:47:34,200
Speaker 6: fighting over the apartment. But it's that's nice, you know,

1081
00:47:34,360 --> 00:47:39,960
Speaker 6: He's just fun Dad times only. Yeah, can't really show

1082
00:47:40,040 --> 00:47:41,200
Speaker 6: up on a day to day.

1083
00:47:41,280 --> 00:47:43,880
Speaker 5: Yeah, exactly. I feel broken.

1084
00:47:44,440 --> 00:47:47,280
Speaker 9: I reconciled with my ex and he blew our holiday

1085
00:47:47,360 --> 00:47:53,000
Speaker 9: fund in a spicy club. Oh my gosh, this is

1086
00:47:53,120 --> 00:47:56,640
Speaker 9: one year since the original post. We co parented together

1087
00:47:56,680 --> 00:47:58,840
Speaker 9: well for a while. Then he started seeing someone and

1088
00:47:58,920 --> 00:48:02,440
Speaker 9: became disinterested in our daughter. Wonder if he's got another

1089
00:48:02,480 --> 00:48:04,120
Speaker 9: one on the way with this new person.

1090
00:48:04,640 --> 00:48:07,320
Speaker 6: Yeah, this guy's trying to repopulate the earth.

1091
00:48:07,440 --> 00:48:09,480
Speaker 5: Yeah, he seems like it.

1092
00:48:10,000 --> 00:48:12,040
Speaker 9: Fast forward to three months ago, he started to show

1093
00:48:12,080 --> 00:48:14,920
Speaker 9: interest again in seeing our daughter because he was single again.

1094
00:48:15,320 --> 00:48:17,400
Speaker 9: I tried to keep it purely about her, but I

1095
00:48:17,440 --> 00:48:19,640
Speaker 9: gave in. I let myself be sucked in with his

1096
00:48:19,719 --> 00:48:22,640
Speaker 9: crappy promises. I agreed to start dating him again.

1097
00:48:23,040 --> 00:48:23,760
Speaker 2: I will be honest.

1098
00:48:23,840 --> 00:48:26,120
Speaker 9: My heart had broken the last six months for my daughter,

1099
00:48:26,200 --> 00:48:27,799
Speaker 9: and if I had a chance to make it work,

1100
00:48:27,880 --> 00:48:30,239
Speaker 9: I felt that I owed it to her. We said

1101
00:48:30,280 --> 00:48:32,680
Speaker 9: that we would go on holiday together, so we started

1102
00:48:32,680 --> 00:48:35,240
Speaker 9: putting some money in a jar kept in my flat.

1103
00:48:35,560 --> 00:48:37,719
Speaker 9: This weekend, he said that he would take it to

1104
00:48:37,760 --> 00:48:40,640
Speaker 9: book a holiday and put the rest in himself. It

1105
00:48:40,719 --> 00:48:43,799
Speaker 9: was about three hundred pounds. I didn't see him after

1106
00:48:43,800 --> 00:48:46,800
Speaker 9: he left the flat, still living separately, so I didn't

1107
00:48:46,800 --> 00:48:50,160
Speaker 9: think anything of it. One of his friend's girlfriends texted

1108
00:48:50,160 --> 00:48:52,359
Speaker 9: me this morning and told me that they had all

1109
00:48:52,400 --> 00:48:52,839
Speaker 9: been on.

1110
00:48:52,840 --> 00:48:55,280
Speaker 5: A stag too. Oh British slang.

1111
00:48:55,880 --> 00:48:56,800
Speaker 2: What even is that?

1112
00:48:57,000 --> 00:48:59,960
Speaker 3: It's a bachelor party? Whatever sounds good?

1113
00:49:00,520 --> 00:49:00,680
Speaker 5: Uh?

1114
00:49:01,719 --> 00:49:04,080
Speaker 3: Hope he I'm so upset that you got back with

1115
00:49:04,160 --> 00:49:04,560
Speaker 3: this guy.

1116
00:49:04,920 --> 00:49:08,360
Speaker 6: You forgot how exhausted you were after those six months.

1117
00:49:08,400 --> 00:49:09,879
Speaker 2: I get it, poor poor op.

1118
00:49:10,280 --> 00:49:13,319
Speaker 6: You're doing it for your daughter, but like, man, this

1119
00:49:13,400 --> 00:49:15,040
Speaker 6: is not the arrangement exactly.

1120
00:49:15,320 --> 00:49:18,240
Speaker 9: Her boyfriend had mentioned it, and my ex was dropping

1121
00:49:18,280 --> 00:49:20,640
Speaker 9: a lot of money in there. I confronted him and

1122
00:49:20,680 --> 00:49:24,240
Speaker 9: he admitted to using the holiday money. I just don't

1123
00:49:24,280 --> 00:49:28,040
Speaker 9: know what to do. We are done, forever done, but

1124
00:49:28,120 --> 00:49:30,279
Speaker 9: I just don't know how I will move past this.

1125
00:49:30,360 --> 00:49:32,160
Speaker 5: And there are some relevant comments.

1126
00:49:32,440 --> 00:49:35,279
Speaker 3: Well, i'll tell you. The first step is don't get

1127
00:49:35,280 --> 00:49:36,239
Speaker 3: back together with him.

1128
00:49:36,320 --> 00:49:38,400
Speaker 5: Yeah, there are some relevant comments.

1129
00:49:38,520 --> 00:49:41,160
Speaker 9: Galaxyan Warrior says, I can't believe you actually got back

1130
00:49:41,200 --> 00:49:43,759
Speaker 9: together with him. You've been burned time and time again.

1131
00:49:44,040 --> 00:49:46,120
Speaker 9: He only took interest in your daughter after he broke

1132
00:49:46,200 --> 00:49:47,960
Speaker 9: up at the person that he was seeing. He is

1133
00:49:48,040 --> 00:49:49,960
Speaker 9: not a good father to her. That's all you need

1134
00:49:50,000 --> 00:49:52,840
Speaker 9: to know. Ohp he says, I feel like an idiot.

1135
00:49:53,200 --> 00:49:55,480
Speaker 9: He kept saying how irrational it was to leave him

1136
00:49:55,480 --> 00:49:58,239
Speaker 9: in the first place over something so minor, How my

1137
00:49:58,600 --> 00:50:00,520
Speaker 9: stubbornness was affecting our daughter.

1138
00:50:00,920 --> 00:50:01,240
Speaker 2: Ough.

1139
00:50:01,800 --> 00:50:04,200
Speaker 9: Finally it came to the realization that I was setting

1140
00:50:04,239 --> 00:50:06,480
Speaker 9: up my daughter for a poor image of how you

1141
00:50:06,480 --> 00:50:08,600
Speaker 9: should be treated. I want to be better for her.

1142
00:50:08,920 --> 00:50:11,480
Speaker 5: I currently am just in contact with his mom, and

1143
00:50:11,520 --> 00:50:14,160
Speaker 5: if he wants to see her, it will be via her,

1144
00:50:14,640 --> 00:50:17,319
Speaker 5: at least for the time being. And there's an update too.

1145
00:50:17,560 --> 00:50:19,319
Speaker 5: Let's just jump right into it.

1146
00:50:19,400 --> 00:50:19,840
Speaker 3: Let's go.

1147
00:50:20,560 --> 00:50:24,600
Speaker 9: So this is two months since that previous update. Turns

1148
00:50:24,640 --> 00:50:26,440
Speaker 9: out he is going to be a father again.

1149
00:50:26,840 --> 00:50:28,200
Speaker 2: I literally called it.

1150
00:50:28,400 --> 00:50:29,880
Speaker 3: I literally called it straight up.

1151
00:50:30,160 --> 00:50:31,160
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh.

1152
00:50:31,239 --> 00:50:33,759
Speaker 9: From what I can gather, the woman is past the

1153
00:50:33,800 --> 00:50:36,520
Speaker 9: twelve week mark. When I was dropping off my daughter

1154
00:50:36,560 --> 00:50:38,759
Speaker 9: for the weekend, he mentioned the pregnancy and whether he

1155
00:50:38,760 --> 00:50:40,920
Speaker 9: could have the baby stuff that I had from when

1156
00:50:40,960 --> 00:50:43,320
Speaker 9: our daughter was little that we were saving for a

1157
00:50:43,360 --> 00:50:45,920
Speaker 9: potential second. I told him that he is welcome to

1158
00:50:45,920 --> 00:50:48,720
Speaker 9: take anything that he bought, which is the grand total

1159
00:50:48,800 --> 00:50:50,160
Speaker 9: of a novelty.

1160
00:50:49,920 --> 00:50:52,799
Speaker 2: Baby grow and a hat obviously.

1161
00:50:53,120 --> 00:50:55,040
Speaker 9: Now I don't need the stuff, and I don't know

1162
00:50:55,120 --> 00:50:56,880
Speaker 9: if I'm being petty, but I told him, and no,

1163
00:50:57,160 --> 00:51:00,239
Speaker 9: absolutely not. He hasn't even seemed to acknowledge to the

1164
00:51:00,239 --> 00:51:03,120
Speaker 9: fact that he got her pregnant when we were trying

1165
00:51:03,160 --> 00:51:04,040
Speaker 9: to get back together.

1166
00:51:04,760 --> 00:51:07,120
Speaker 5: But that's a battle that I just can't get the

1167
00:51:07,239 --> 00:51:07,919
Speaker 5: energy to fight.

1168
00:51:08,360 --> 00:51:11,080
Speaker 9: My ex mother in law has remained pretty neutral, and

1169
00:51:11,120 --> 00:51:13,120
Speaker 9: I have a pretty good relationship with her, but she's

1170
00:51:13,160 --> 00:51:14,879
Speaker 9: been putting a bit of pressure on me to give

1171
00:51:14,920 --> 00:51:17,319
Speaker 9: him the stuff. Am I the a hole for not

1172
00:51:17,400 --> 00:51:20,520
Speaker 9: even considering passing the baby stuff onto him? D from

1173
00:51:20,560 --> 00:51:22,520
Speaker 9: the comments is not the a hole? And that's my

1174
00:51:22,600 --> 00:51:26,600
Speaker 9: answer to yeah, the whole Yeah, we were trying to

1175
00:51:26,600 --> 00:51:29,600
Speaker 9: get back together. So either you cheated on her with

1176
00:51:29,680 --> 00:51:32,719
Speaker 9: me or you're cheated on me with her. Either way,

1177
00:51:33,600 --> 00:51:34,000
Speaker 9: if you.

1178
00:51:34,600 --> 00:51:37,759
Speaker 3: Just an absolute buffoon, yeah, of a.

1179
00:51:37,719 --> 00:51:41,560
Speaker 9: Man, there are some relevant comments. Nico nine says, not

1180
00:51:41,719 --> 00:51:44,399
Speaker 9: the a hole, don't do it. He's he absolutely does

1181
00:51:44,480 --> 00:51:47,399
Speaker 9: not deserve it. Did you even ever get the three

1182
00:51:47,480 --> 00:51:50,920
Speaker 9: hundred back that he stole? OPI says no, If I'm honest,

1183
00:51:50,960 --> 00:51:52,960
Speaker 9: I didn't really talk to him after that. Anything to

1184
00:51:52,960 --> 00:51:55,719
Speaker 9: do with our daughter goes it via his mom. I

1185
00:51:55,800 --> 00:51:58,120
Speaker 9: want to try and maintain my composure for my daughter.

1186
00:51:58,239 --> 00:52:02,560
Speaker 9: I couldn't cope with this bull excuses any more. He

1187
00:52:02,600 --> 00:52:04,759
Speaker 9: doesn't seem to think that he owes me anything. And

1188
00:52:04,880 --> 00:52:07,040
Speaker 9: update number three, we're gonna jump right into it. This

1189
00:52:07,120 --> 00:52:09,759
Speaker 9: is ten months now since this last update. If we're

1190
00:52:09,840 --> 00:52:13,200
Speaker 9: keep in track, the baby is now five. My ex

1191
00:52:13,280 --> 00:52:17,640
Speaker 9: had a baby boy. Finally he finally got the son

1192
00:52:17,719 --> 00:52:20,759
Speaker 9: that he wanted. That's can you imagine that's why it's

1193
00:52:20,800 --> 00:52:21,120
Speaker 9: doing it?

1194
00:52:22,040 --> 00:52:24,600
Speaker 3: Maybe that was what it was. Is that what he's saying.

1195
00:52:24,760 --> 00:52:27,279
Speaker 9: Trying again, he's like, you can It's like it's like

1196
00:52:27,400 --> 00:52:30,440
Speaker 9: King Henry with all his wives. He's like, you can't

1197
00:52:30,440 --> 00:52:33,319
Speaker 9: give me a son, So gone with you. We'll try

1198
00:52:33,360 --> 00:52:35,680
Speaker 9: the next one, and then no one can give him

1199
00:52:35,680 --> 00:52:39,080
Speaker 9: a son, and like guiotine next, yeah, exactly. I ended

1200
00:52:39,120 --> 00:52:41,280
Speaker 9: up giving him the very few items that he bought

1201
00:52:41,280 --> 00:52:44,160
Speaker 9: for our daughter, which mainly consisted of novelty hats and

1202
00:52:44,239 --> 00:52:45,400
Speaker 9: novelty baby grows.

1203
00:52:45,640 --> 00:52:47,319
Speaker 2: I think our thoughts are the same.

1204
00:52:47,440 --> 00:52:49,480
Speaker 3: They're the same that as they've been all of this

1205
00:52:49,600 --> 00:52:50,120
Speaker 3: whole time.

1206
00:52:50,320 --> 00:52:52,279
Speaker 2: So let's just wrap this thing up.

1207
00:52:52,320 --> 00:52:54,600
Speaker 3: You are worth more than this pathetic man.

1208
00:52:54,800 --> 00:52:57,680
Speaker 9: Yeah, Unfortunately he has little to do with our daughter.

1209
00:52:57,840 --> 00:52:59,960
Speaker 9: He has let her down many times since the new

1210
00:53:00,040 --> 00:53:02,719
Speaker 9: baby came. I won't close the door, as I want

1211
00:53:02,760 --> 00:53:04,520
Speaker 9: to be able to hold my head high and tell

1212
00:53:04,560 --> 00:53:06,680
Speaker 9: her I never stopped him seeing her, even though a

1213
00:53:06,680 --> 00:53:09,080
Speaker 9: big part of me wants to tell him to do

1214
00:53:09,239 --> 00:53:13,080
Speaker 9: one British slang. It breaks my heart that she gets

1215
00:53:13,120 --> 00:53:15,759
Speaker 9: so excited and he lets her down. I have toyed

1216
00:53:15,840 --> 00:53:18,160
Speaker 9: with going to court and make him fight for visitation.

1217
00:53:18,680 --> 00:53:20,840
Speaker 9: I just don't think that he cares enough. On a

1218
00:53:20,880 --> 00:53:23,399
Speaker 9: positive note, my daughter is very happy and my brother

1219
00:53:23,440 --> 00:53:24,640
Speaker 9: and his wife are very.

1220
00:53:24,440 --> 00:53:27,200
Speaker 5: Involved, so she can see what a healthy relationship looks like.

1221
00:53:27,280 --> 00:53:27,839
Speaker 3: That is good.

1222
00:53:27,920 --> 00:53:32,200
Speaker 6: But I do say, definitely do the visitation stuff if

1223
00:53:32,239 --> 00:53:33,919
Speaker 6: he's constantly letting your daughter down.

1224
00:53:34,360 --> 00:53:37,240
Speaker 9: I'm uninterested in meeting anyone at the moment, but maybe

1225
00:53:37,239 --> 00:53:39,839
Speaker 9: one day I'll dip my footback. And i also got

1226
00:53:39,840 --> 00:53:41,920
Speaker 9: a promotion at work, so I'm in a much happier

1227
00:53:41,960 --> 00:53:42,439
Speaker 9: place now.

1228
00:53:42,800 --> 00:53:46,400
Speaker 5: That is the end of that story. But yeah, I agree.

1229
00:53:46,440 --> 00:53:47,879
Speaker 5: It's like I think.

1230
00:53:47,840 --> 00:53:50,799
Speaker 9: Your daughter, especially once she grows up, I think she

1231
00:53:50,920 --> 00:53:55,480
Speaker 9: will be more disappointed from the fact that her father

1232
00:53:55,600 --> 00:53:59,880
Speaker 9: is so unpredictable like this than in the fact of

1233
00:54:00,200 --> 00:54:03,600
Speaker 9: like you potentially protecting her from that. I think you

1234
00:54:03,640 --> 00:54:07,600
Speaker 9: should definitely stop him and she'll I don't think she'll

1235
00:54:07,640 --> 00:54:10,640
Speaker 9: care that you just like, you know, let him try

1236
00:54:10,680 --> 00:54:11,279
Speaker 9: and try again.

1237
00:54:11,360 --> 00:54:13,520
Speaker 6: Well, if you go through like the courts and create

1238
00:54:13,560 --> 00:54:17,760
Speaker 6: a visitation process and then he doesn't show up to that, yeah,

1239
00:54:17,800 --> 00:54:19,840
Speaker 6: there's no way he can ever try to spin like,

1240
00:54:20,000 --> 00:54:23,440
Speaker 6: oh well I was being It's like, no, no, you.

1241
00:54:23,440 --> 00:54:26,120
Speaker 3: Just did not show up. Yeah, yeah, no one was

1242
00:54:26,239 --> 00:54:27,160
Speaker 3: keeping you from doing this.

1243
00:54:27,200 --> 00:54:29,680
Speaker 6: There was a whole arrangement we had, and you refuse

1244
00:54:29,760 --> 00:54:32,480
Speaker 6: to show up exactly, and so if you know, and

1245
00:54:32,520 --> 00:54:34,920
Speaker 6: then he can be held accountable for that. Yeah, he's

1246
00:54:34,960 --> 00:54:36,880
Speaker 6: John og Host. We don't get back to the stories,

1247
00:54:36,920 --> 00:54:39,240
Speaker 6: but a quick free minute break of ads from our sponsors.

1248
00:54:39,840 --> 00:54:42,960
Speaker 6: My fiance refused to change her last name after marriage

1249
00:54:42,960 --> 00:54:44,359
Speaker 6: and now I want to break up.

1250
00:54:45,040 --> 00:54:47,799
Speaker 5: Wow, didn't know you were anti feminist?

1251
00:54:47,920 --> 00:54:51,120
Speaker 6: What a few weeks ago, my fiance twenty seven female,

1252
00:54:51,120 --> 00:54:54,600
Speaker 6: and I twenty eight male. We're talking about our wedding,

1253
00:54:54,719 --> 00:54:57,719
Speaker 6: which is scheduled for June of next year, and our honeymoon.

1254
00:54:57,880 --> 00:55:00,000
Speaker 6: At one point I jokingly said something to the effect

1255
00:55:00,280 --> 00:55:04,239
Speaker 6: we'll see about that future missus my last name, and

1256
00:55:04,320 --> 00:55:07,279
Speaker 6: she visibly cringed. She told me she isn't going to

1257
00:55:07,320 --> 00:55:11,120
Speaker 6: be missus my last name. By the way, this comes

1258
00:55:11,120 --> 00:55:13,839
Speaker 6: from user a chemical seesaw at ninety nine and if

1259
00:55:13,880 --> 00:55:15,440
Speaker 6: you want to submit your own stories, go to the

1260
00:55:15,520 --> 00:55:15,920
Speaker 6: r slagh.

1261
00:55:15,920 --> 00:55:16,920
Speaker 3: Okay story, I'm say.

1262
00:55:16,760 --> 00:55:21,200
Speaker 6: About it, sure, I said, Okay, then I'll be mister

1263
00:55:21,680 --> 00:55:24,120
Speaker 6: her last name, because I don't really care if she

1264
00:55:24,160 --> 00:55:26,879
Speaker 6: takes my name or I take hers. I just want

1265
00:55:26,920 --> 00:55:29,680
Speaker 6: to share one. She said, no, I'm keeping my name

1266
00:55:29,719 --> 00:55:32,160
Speaker 6: and you can keep yours. I asked who our future

1267
00:55:32,200 --> 00:55:34,759
Speaker 6: kids would be named after. She said her, because she's

1268
00:55:34,800 --> 00:55:38,120
Speaker 6: the mother, so I'd be the odd one out. Edit

1269
00:55:38,120 --> 00:55:40,359
Speaker 6: to add I should have clarified this, but she's also

1270
00:55:40,440 --> 00:55:43,359
Speaker 6: opposed to hyphenating. She's adamant we should each keep our

1271
00:55:43,360 --> 00:55:46,359
Speaker 6: own last names and any future kids will only have hers.

1272
00:55:46,400 --> 00:55:48,919
Speaker 6: For context, I grew up in a foster care after

1273
00:55:48,960 --> 00:55:51,799
Speaker 6: both of my parents passed away. I didn't have any

1274
00:55:51,800 --> 00:55:54,279
Speaker 6: other biological families, so I was bounced around from home

1275
00:55:54,280 --> 00:55:56,440
Speaker 6: to home from the ages of five to eighteen. When

1276
00:55:56,440 --> 00:55:58,960
Speaker 6: I aged out, I never felt welcome in any of

1277
00:55:59,000 --> 00:56:01,200
Speaker 6: those foster homes. I never felt like I had a

1278
00:56:01,239 --> 00:56:04,880
Speaker 6: real family. I always swore i'd have a real family

1279
00:56:04,920 --> 00:56:07,480
Speaker 6: one day, though, so naturally, I want to share a

1280
00:56:07,560 --> 00:56:11,120
Speaker 6: last name with my wife and our kids. I truly

1281
00:56:11,160 --> 00:56:13,480
Speaker 6: don't care what name mine hers a new one that

1282
00:56:13,520 --> 00:56:15,719
Speaker 6: we both choose. I don't care. It doesn't matter to me.

1283
00:56:16,080 --> 00:56:18,640
Speaker 6: I just want a real family that I feel connected to.

1284
00:56:19,360 --> 00:56:24,160
Speaker 6: Have you said that exactly that way? That sounds like

1285
00:56:24,200 --> 00:56:27,520
Speaker 6: the exact thing to say right to your wife?

1286
00:56:27,880 --> 00:56:30,240
Speaker 5: Let her know, man communication.

1287
00:56:30,000 --> 00:56:31,960
Speaker 6: She needs to and if she does know that, and

1288
00:56:32,000 --> 00:56:34,040
Speaker 6: she's still saying this, yikes.

1289
00:56:34,480 --> 00:56:34,960
Speaker 5: Yeah.

1290
00:56:35,000 --> 00:56:37,440
Speaker 6: We've been dating for three years and engaged for almost

1291
00:56:37,480 --> 00:56:39,360
Speaker 6: five months, and this is the first time that she

1292
00:56:39,480 --> 00:56:42,360
Speaker 6: said she doesn't want to share a name. Previously, she

1293
00:56:42,400 --> 00:56:44,520
Speaker 6: never said anything when I called her the future missus

1294
00:56:44,560 --> 00:56:46,279
Speaker 6: my last name, So either this is.

1295
00:56:46,360 --> 00:56:47,880
Speaker 3: New or she had been holding it in.

1296
00:56:48,480 --> 00:56:50,560
Speaker 6: I've tried to talk to her about why she doesn't

1297
00:56:50,600 --> 00:56:52,520
Speaker 6: want either of us to change our last name, but

1298
00:56:52,600 --> 00:56:55,040
Speaker 6: she doesn't want to discuss it further, and I met

1299
00:56:55,040 --> 00:56:55,960
Speaker 6: a loss of what to do.

1300
00:56:56,600 --> 00:56:58,680
Speaker 3: Would it be an overreaction to break up over this?

1301
00:56:58,760 --> 00:57:01,960
Speaker 6: Since she won't talk talk to me about her reasons,

1302
00:57:01,680 --> 00:57:04,359
Speaker 6: She's acting like everything is normal, so I don't know

1303
00:57:04,360 --> 00:57:06,680
Speaker 6: what to think. Thank you to all who replied or

1304
00:57:06,719 --> 00:57:09,520
Speaker 6: sent messages, except those calling me a misogynist for even

1305
00:57:09,600 --> 00:57:12,920
Speaker 6: suggesting she changed her name. I've decided to try to

1306
00:57:12,960 --> 00:57:15,920
Speaker 6: have one more serious conversation with her about my feelings

1307
00:57:15,960 --> 00:57:18,760
Speaker 6: on this subject. I've packed a box with all the

1308
00:57:18,800 --> 00:57:20,800
Speaker 6: things she's left in my house, so if it doesn't

1309
00:57:20,800 --> 00:57:24,120
Speaker 6: go well, I'll return her belongings and end things. We're

1310
00:57:24,160 --> 00:57:25,640
Speaker 6: meeting at a park, and I have a good friend

1311
00:57:25,680 --> 00:57:28,560
Speaker 6: who's going to stay nearby but unseen, just in case

1312
00:57:28,560 --> 00:57:31,320
Speaker 6: things go south. If for no other reason, then I

1313
00:57:31,360 --> 00:57:33,360
Speaker 6: have a witness that I tried everything I could to

1314
00:57:33,400 --> 00:57:37,320
Speaker 6: talk things out. There are some comments, but I mean,

1315
00:57:37,400 --> 00:57:39,240
Speaker 6: if that really is look, I mean, clearly, this is

1316
00:57:39,280 --> 00:57:41,680
Speaker 6: a very big deal to you. This is like something

1317
00:57:41,680 --> 00:57:44,800
Speaker 6: that you absolutely want out of a marriage and out

1318
00:57:44,800 --> 00:57:48,040
Speaker 6: of a family. Is that y'all share a name? And if,

1319
00:57:48,080 --> 00:57:51,200
Speaker 6: like for some reason, your dear partner is diametrically opposed

1320
00:57:51,200 --> 00:57:56,160
Speaker 6: to that idea, well then I think it won't work ally,

1321
00:57:56,280 --> 00:57:59,040
Speaker 6: mom of four, Why is she so opposed to it?

1322
00:57:59,200 --> 00:58:02,240
Speaker 3: Has she said? Why? It's something very important to you?

1323
00:58:02,960 --> 00:58:04,880
Speaker 6: Is it important enough that it could be the end

1324
00:58:05,000 --> 00:58:07,680
Speaker 6: of a relationship that would otherwise be headed towards marriage.

1325
00:58:08,040 --> 00:58:10,560
Speaker 6: I don't think you are overreacting at all. Your feelings

1326
00:58:10,600 --> 00:58:13,160
Speaker 6: are completely valid. She may not want to talk about

1327
00:58:13,160 --> 00:58:15,120
Speaker 6: it anymore, but she's going to have to if she

1328
00:58:15,200 --> 00:58:18,040
Speaker 6: wants the relationship to work in the end. Only you

1329
00:58:18,160 --> 00:58:21,520
Speaker 6: know what your deal breakers are, Opie says. She won't

1330
00:58:21,560 --> 00:58:24,400
Speaker 6: tell me. When I ask, she says she won't discuss

1331
00:58:24,440 --> 00:58:27,080
Speaker 6: it further and stops speaking unless I change the subject.

1332
00:58:27,320 --> 00:58:30,479
Speaker 6: Gray Dog thirteen sixteen says, what did that interaction look

1333
00:58:30,600 --> 00:58:33,200
Speaker 6: like the last time it happened? Opie says, she said

1334
00:58:33,200 --> 00:58:35,560
Speaker 6: she didn't want to discuss it and walked away. I

1335
00:58:35,640 --> 00:58:37,640
Speaker 6: really feel like if you pull, like the move where

1336
00:58:37,640 --> 00:58:40,280
Speaker 6: it's like, if we can't discuss this, then this relationship

1337
00:58:40,320 --> 00:58:41,479
Speaker 6: is fundamentally over.

1338
00:58:42,120 --> 00:58:46,200
Speaker 3: I feel like she'll I don't know that stream to me. No,

1339
00:58:46,240 --> 00:58:47,760
Speaker 3: but it's like that's but that's his position.

1340
00:58:48,280 --> 00:58:50,240
Speaker 6: It's like, I'm not going to continue to move forward

1341
00:58:50,320 --> 00:58:52,360
Speaker 6: and go to marriage if you're like we can't have

1342
00:58:52,440 --> 00:58:53,040
Speaker 6: the same name.

1343
00:58:53,480 --> 00:58:54,800
Speaker 5: She's not willing to communicate.

1344
00:58:55,200 --> 00:58:58,960
Speaker 9: I think that is something more serious to take into

1345
00:58:59,000 --> 00:59:01,560
Speaker 9: account in like a in a relationship. Obviously, like the

1346
00:59:01,680 --> 00:59:03,680
Speaker 9: name thing is important to him, So I don't want

1347
00:59:03,680 --> 00:59:06,160
Speaker 9: to make it seem like that's not serious. But yeah,

1348
00:59:06,200 --> 00:59:10,440
Speaker 9: to break up only like only over that feels extreme

1349
00:59:10,600 --> 00:59:13,120
Speaker 9: right now. But again, like I think you can bring

1350
00:59:13,200 --> 00:59:14,760
Speaker 9: up like, hey, like if we're going to go into

1351
00:59:14,800 --> 00:59:16,760
Speaker 9: a marriage, we need to be able to communicate.

1352
00:59:16,840 --> 00:59:18,320
Speaker 3: Yeah, especially I'm going to have kids.

1353
00:59:18,360 --> 00:59:22,560
Speaker 9: Like that's an even bigger like underlying issue to this.

1354
00:59:22,640 --> 00:59:23,520
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think you're right.

1355
00:59:23,520 --> 00:59:25,920
Speaker 6: It's it's more that just like it's like, what happens

1356
00:59:25,920 --> 00:59:27,760
Speaker 6: if there's something else we need to talk about and

1357
00:59:27,800 --> 00:59:32,280
Speaker 6: you pull this Yeah, like Miroku zero zero zero replies,

1358
00:59:32,520 --> 00:59:36,240
Speaker 6: this is more concerning than the original problem. She can

1359
00:59:36,320 --> 00:59:39,400
Speaker 6: choose not to take your name, but she can't unilaterally

1360
00:59:39,480 --> 00:59:41,919
Speaker 6: choose to tell you that you can't take her name,

1361
00:59:42,120 --> 00:59:45,440
Speaker 6: and she can't unilaterally decide about the kids either. The

1362
00:59:45,480 --> 00:59:47,240
Speaker 6: next time she walks away, ask her to set a

1363
00:59:47,240 --> 00:59:49,000
Speaker 6: time when she will be ready to talk about it.

1364
00:59:49,160 --> 00:59:51,520
Speaker 6: If she's unwilling to do so, then start playing the

1365
00:59:51,520 --> 00:59:54,320
Speaker 6: same game about any wedding planning. Tell her you don't

1366
00:59:54,320 --> 00:59:56,240
Speaker 6: want to set a date until you resolve the issue

1367
00:59:56,240 --> 00:59:58,919
Speaker 6: with you being excluded from the family balcony, HERB says,

1368
00:59:59,000 --> 01:00:01,120
Speaker 6: Tell her you'd like to change name and why she

1369
01:00:01,200 --> 01:00:04,080
Speaker 6: may not realize the reason for it, and maybe projecting

1370
01:00:04,080 --> 01:00:07,240
Speaker 6: her desire to maintain her name on you. If she

1371
01:00:07,280 --> 01:00:09,600
Speaker 6: can't hear you and understand how hurt you are, I'd

1372
01:00:09,600 --> 01:00:12,240
Speaker 6: be second guessing as well. Since you aren't imposing a

1373
01:00:12,320 --> 01:00:15,160
Speaker 6: change on her, it's worth a discussion. OPI says, she

1374
01:00:15,280 --> 01:00:21,040
Speaker 6: knows why. She knows all about my past. Interesting asks, Uh,

1375
01:00:21,240 --> 01:00:24,760
Speaker 6: does she know why because she knows your past? Or

1376
01:00:24,760 --> 01:00:27,160
Speaker 6: does she know why because you've explicitly spelled it out

1377
01:00:27,200 --> 01:00:30,520
Speaker 6: to her. Some people don't connect dots very well. Op says,

1378
01:00:30,560 --> 01:00:33,960
Speaker 6: I've told her very clearly why I want this, and

1379
01:00:34,040 --> 01:00:37,000
Speaker 6: up until recently she seemed to understand. And there is

1380
01:00:37,040 --> 01:00:37,600
Speaker 6: an update.

1381
01:00:38,160 --> 01:00:42,320
Speaker 9: Yeah, so she understands why he wants this, but it

1382
01:00:42,360 --> 01:00:45,600
Speaker 9: is still like doesn't want to talk about it.

1383
01:00:45,760 --> 01:00:47,600
Speaker 6: That's and I think that, at the end of the day,

1384
01:00:47,640 --> 01:00:50,640
Speaker 6: would be the deal breaker more than like, well, it's

1385
01:00:50,720 --> 01:00:53,640
Speaker 6: like the names. It's more like like this, The way

1386
01:00:53,680 --> 01:00:57,880
Speaker 6: that we're behaving with each other right now unsustainable. It's

1387
01:00:57,920 --> 01:01:01,160
Speaker 6: both of them can't she's not speaking, she's not being clear,

1388
01:01:01,280 --> 01:01:02,240
Speaker 6: she's not being open.

1389
01:01:02,480 --> 01:01:04,680
Speaker 3: He can't be open because she won't have the conversation.

1390
01:01:04,920 --> 01:01:08,120
Speaker 6: Yeah, so there, it's just like again, what happens when

1391
01:01:08,120 --> 01:01:08,919
Speaker 6: this is something else?

1392
01:01:09,280 --> 01:01:11,840
Speaker 3: Right? We met up at a park today.

1393
01:01:12,120 --> 01:01:14,360
Speaker 6: I asked her late last night if she could meet

1394
01:01:14,360 --> 01:01:17,000
Speaker 6: me to talk about something, and she immediately agreed because

1395
01:01:17,040 --> 01:01:19,720
Speaker 6: it seemed she thought it was about the wedding. My

1396
01:01:19,800 --> 01:01:21,840
Speaker 6: friend was with me but waited in my car so

1397
01:01:21,880 --> 01:01:24,520
Speaker 6: he wouldn't be spotted. But I did decide to turn

1398
01:01:24,520 --> 01:01:26,760
Speaker 6: on the voice recorder on my phone because in the

1399
01:01:26,800 --> 01:01:30,560
Speaker 6: past she's manipulated her telling of certain situations to make

1400
01:01:30,600 --> 01:01:32,040
Speaker 6: it seem like she's blameless.

1401
01:01:32,400 --> 01:01:33,040
Speaker 3: Red flag.

1402
01:01:33,760 --> 01:01:35,720
Speaker 6: I overlooked it before because I thought she was just

1403
01:01:35,840 --> 01:01:37,640
Speaker 6: used to getting her way, but now I realized that

1404
01:01:37,760 --> 01:01:39,920
Speaker 6: was a mistake on my part. So I got there

1405
01:01:39,960 --> 01:01:42,160
Speaker 6: early and walked around for a few minutes before meeting

1406
01:01:42,240 --> 01:01:44,720
Speaker 6: up with her in a picnic area. I asked her

1407
01:01:44,760 --> 01:01:46,640
Speaker 6: to sit down with me because I needed to ask

1408
01:01:46,640 --> 01:01:49,360
Speaker 6: her some very important questions about our future. I told

1409
01:01:49,400 --> 01:01:51,200
Speaker 6: her I needed answers, and I needed her to give

1410
01:01:51,200 --> 01:01:53,480
Speaker 6: me enough respect as a human to not walk away

1411
01:01:53,560 --> 01:01:56,720
Speaker 6: when I'm trying to talk. I started by explaining again

1412
01:01:56,800 --> 01:01:58,400
Speaker 6: how I've never felt like I was part of a

1413
01:01:58,440 --> 01:02:01,960
Speaker 6: real family since I lost my parents, and how important

1414
01:02:02,000 --> 01:02:04,080
Speaker 6: it is to me that I feel that connection to

1415
01:02:04,160 --> 01:02:06,720
Speaker 6: my wife and kids. It may seem like a small

1416
01:02:06,720 --> 01:02:09,440
Speaker 6: thing to most, but to me, it's huge. I've lived

1417
01:02:09,440 --> 01:02:12,640
Speaker 6: most of my life feeling like I'm completely alone. She

1418
01:02:12,680 --> 01:02:14,520
Speaker 6: told me she knows how hard my life has been,

1419
01:02:14,600 --> 01:02:17,240
Speaker 6: and now I have her, so I'm not alone anymore.

1420
01:02:17,720 --> 01:02:18,760
Speaker 3: Then I asked her if.

1421
01:02:18,640 --> 01:02:21,520
Speaker 6: She could please explain to me exactly why she is

1422
01:02:21,600 --> 01:02:26,200
Speaker 6: so vehemently against us having the same last name, if

1423
01:02:26,200 --> 01:02:29,080
Speaker 6: she acknowledges that she knows how important it is to

1424
01:02:29,120 --> 01:02:31,520
Speaker 6: me that I share a name with my wife and kids,

1425
01:02:31,840 --> 01:02:33,560
Speaker 6: so I feel like I'm in a real family and

1426
01:02:33,600 --> 01:02:36,160
Speaker 6: not an outsider. I reminded her that I don't expect

1427
01:02:36,160 --> 01:02:38,280
Speaker 6: her to take my name, and I'm more than willing

1428
01:02:38,320 --> 01:02:42,480
Speaker 6: to take hers to hyphenate or come up with something different. Entirely,

1429
01:02:43,160 --> 01:02:45,439
Speaker 6: I just want to share a name with my wife

1430
01:02:45,480 --> 01:02:47,439
Speaker 6: and kids so we are one family unit.

1431
01:02:48,000 --> 01:02:51,880
Speaker 3: Her response to that was surprising. She rolled her eyes

1432
01:02:52,480 --> 01:02:55,640
Speaker 3: and told me it's quote so cringey when people have

1433
01:02:55,680 --> 01:02:58,280
Speaker 3: the same last name after they get married. That was

1434
01:02:58,320 --> 01:03:02,080
Speaker 3: her sole reason for us not sharing an I God,

1435
01:03:02,680 --> 01:03:03,520
Speaker 3: I don't believe her.

1436
01:03:03,640 --> 01:03:04,960
Speaker 2: I have so ah.

1437
01:03:05,360 --> 01:03:07,400
Speaker 3: At this point, I honestly don't believe her. I'm like,

1438
01:03:07,440 --> 01:03:08,080
Speaker 3: what's going on?

1439
01:03:08,520 --> 01:03:08,720
Speaker 2: Do you?

1440
01:03:08,800 --> 01:03:11,400
Speaker 6: Are you secretly married to someone else? Does someone not know?

1441
01:03:11,520 --> 01:03:13,560
Speaker 6: Are you in a relationship with another person? I don't

1442
01:03:13,560 --> 01:03:16,120
Speaker 6: know about what is going on here to where if

1443
01:03:16,120 --> 01:03:19,560
Speaker 6: your name changed, something in your life gets exposed.

1444
01:03:19,760 --> 01:03:20,440
Speaker 3: What's happening.

1445
01:03:21,000 --> 01:03:24,120
Speaker 9: It's possible that she's just so against any sort of tradition,

1446
01:03:25,760 --> 01:03:30,160
Speaker 9: which you know, sure you could be against it, I guess,

1447
01:03:30,880 --> 01:03:35,000
Speaker 9: but like, because it's cringey, girl, grow up.

1448
01:03:35,200 --> 01:03:37,360
Speaker 3: That almost could have been worse than anything she could

1449
01:03:37,360 --> 01:03:37,640
Speaker 3: have said.

1450
01:03:37,760 --> 01:03:40,280
Speaker 8: It's literally like that evokes such.

1451
01:03:40,080 --> 01:03:41,160
Speaker 5: A reaction to me.

1452
01:03:41,840 --> 01:03:42,000
Speaker 9: Uh.

1453
01:03:42,560 --> 01:03:44,760
Speaker 6: She went on a whole rant about how she thinks

1454
01:03:44,760 --> 01:03:47,600
Speaker 6: it's cheesy when she meets a couple and they introduced

1455
01:03:47,640 --> 01:03:52,120
Speaker 6: themselves as the Blanks, the Smiths, the Jones, the whatever's,

1456
01:03:52,680 --> 01:03:54,560
Speaker 6: and then it makes her want to throw up when

1457
01:03:54,560 --> 01:03:57,760
Speaker 6: she hears it, and so many other ways, and it

1458
01:03:57,880 --> 01:04:00,480
Speaker 6: makes her angry. When I brought up the fact that

1459
01:04:00,520 --> 01:04:02,479
Speaker 6: her parents have the same last name because they're married,

1460
01:04:02,640 --> 01:04:06,360
Speaker 6: she said that's different and I wouldn't understand because of

1461
01:04:06,400 --> 01:04:08,200
Speaker 6: being an orphan, which really threw me.

1462
01:04:08,320 --> 01:04:10,880
Speaker 5: WHOA, what are you telling me about that's different.

1463
01:04:10,920 --> 01:04:13,600
Speaker 3: Your parents are marry you and they have the same name.

1464
01:04:14,160 --> 01:04:17,600
Speaker 6: She said, that's different and I wouldn't understand because of

1465
01:04:17,680 --> 01:04:19,440
Speaker 6: being an orphan, which really threw me.

1466
01:04:19,720 --> 01:04:20,880
Speaker 3: Long story short.

1467
01:04:20,680 --> 01:04:22,520
Speaker 6: I let her know that I need some time to

1468
01:04:22,560 --> 01:04:25,200
Speaker 6: myself to really think things over and decide how I

1469
01:04:25,280 --> 01:04:27,560
Speaker 6: want to move forward. I asked her to give me

1470
01:04:27,640 --> 01:04:29,439
Speaker 6: time and I would let her know when I'm ready

1471
01:04:29,480 --> 01:04:32,560
Speaker 6: to talk. She didn't like hearing that, but I told

1472
01:04:32,600 --> 01:04:34,720
Speaker 6: her I needed to leave. So now I'm at home

1473
01:04:35,080 --> 01:04:37,840
Speaker 6: thinking about everything and wondering how to move on. I

1474
01:04:37,880 --> 01:04:40,440
Speaker 6: know the relationship is over, but I haven't made the

1475
01:04:40,480 --> 01:04:43,520
Speaker 6: breakup official yet. It's going to hurt for a long time,

1476
01:04:43,560 --> 01:04:45,320
Speaker 6: but I know what I need to do for my

1477
01:04:45,480 --> 01:04:48,800
Speaker 6: own mental health. I can compromise on some things, but

1478
01:04:48,880 --> 01:04:52,120
Speaker 6: I can't be with someone who won't also compromise. Her

1479
01:04:52,120 --> 01:04:54,920
Speaker 6: belongings are still packed up and my friend has offered

1480
01:04:54,920 --> 01:04:57,320
Speaker 6: to drop them off once I end things with her. Luckily,

1481
01:04:57,400 --> 01:04:59,720
Speaker 6: I live in a gated condo community, so once I

1482
01:04:59,760 --> 01:05:02,600
Speaker 6: take her name off the approved visitors list, she won't

1483
01:05:02,600 --> 01:05:04,720
Speaker 6: be able to come to my house. Think I know

1484
01:05:04,840 --> 01:05:06,959
Speaker 6: she won't react well when I tell her we're over

1485
01:05:07,480 --> 01:05:10,040
Speaker 6: and that's all. I'm gonna take some time for myself

1486
01:05:10,080 --> 01:05:10,640
Speaker 6: and try.

1487
01:05:10,400 --> 01:05:11,520
Speaker 3: To get over everything.

1488
01:05:11,840 --> 01:05:14,400
Speaker 6: And being an engagement is tough, and I don't wish

1489
01:05:14,480 --> 01:05:18,760
Speaker 6: this heartbreak on anyone. And we have some comments. Tn

1490
01:05:18,840 --> 01:05:22,560
Speaker 6: Bell zero five two to two says, she seriously tried

1491
01:05:22,600 --> 01:05:25,720
Speaker 6: weaponizing the very reason that you want to have the

1492
01:05:25,760 --> 01:05:28,760
Speaker 6: same last name as your spouse and kids when trying

1493
01:05:28,800 --> 01:05:31,280
Speaker 6: to tell you why you wouldn't understand why her parents

1494
01:05:31,360 --> 01:05:33,400
Speaker 6: sharing a last name isn't cringey.

1495
01:05:33,360 --> 01:05:34,560
Speaker 3: But other couples are.

1496
01:05:35,360 --> 01:05:38,560
Speaker 6: Seriously, I'd say she doesn't deserve a discussion for the breakup.

1497
01:05:38,760 --> 01:05:41,080
Speaker 6: Write a letter, put it in her box of crap,

1498
01:05:41,120 --> 01:05:43,400
Speaker 6: and have the friend leave it at her door, unless

1499
01:05:43,400 --> 01:05:45,360
Speaker 6: the ring is an heirloom and you want it back,

1500
01:05:45,400 --> 01:05:47,800
Speaker 6: of course, in that case, make sure you get it

1501
01:05:47,840 --> 01:05:49,000
Speaker 6: away from the witch.

1502
01:05:49,400 --> 01:05:50,040
Speaker 3: What the what?

1503
01:05:50,360 --> 01:05:53,200
Speaker 6: Three two one four says And she still doesn't make

1504
01:05:53,240 --> 01:05:56,720
Speaker 6: sense anyway, because how are her parents, a married couple

1505
01:05:56,760 --> 01:05:59,439
Speaker 6: that share the same last name, any different than any

1506
01:05:59,520 --> 01:06:02,800
Speaker 6: other read a couple sharing the same last name. I'm

1507
01:06:02,800 --> 01:06:05,040
Speaker 6: sure if OPI had pressed her to define how it's

1508
01:06:05,040 --> 01:06:07,080
Speaker 6: different for them, she would have come back with the

1509
01:06:07,120 --> 01:06:11,040
Speaker 6: air tight argument it just is Opie should let them know.

1510
01:06:11,160 --> 01:06:13,680
Speaker 6: Apparently their daughter thinks they're the only married people out

1511
01:06:13,680 --> 01:06:16,320
Speaker 6: there who aren't cringey for doing what most married couples do.

1512
01:06:16,840 --> 01:06:19,240
Speaker 6: There is literally no logic to her argument, just some

1513
01:06:19,280 --> 01:06:22,240
Speaker 6: odd sentimental pass for her parents but no one else.

1514
01:06:22,600 --> 01:06:25,919
Speaker 6: She has no empathy for her fiance whatsoever. And there

1515
01:06:26,000 --> 01:06:30,560
Speaker 6: is a second update six days later. I anticipate this

1516
01:06:30,760 --> 01:06:33,400
Speaker 6: just being and she's trying to be a nightmare because

1517
01:06:33,400 --> 01:06:34,480
Speaker 6: you shouldn't be gone.

1518
01:06:35,120 --> 01:06:35,400
Speaker 3: Yeah.

1519
01:06:35,960 --> 01:06:40,440
Speaker 9: Yeah, her logic absolutely does not make sense because she's

1520
01:06:40,480 --> 01:06:42,640
Speaker 9: not even offering any like she's she just said that

1521
01:06:42,680 --> 01:06:44,840
Speaker 9: it's cringey for them to do it, and yeah, it

1522
01:06:45,120 --> 01:06:48,120
Speaker 9: won't go any further into the explanation about why it's

1523
01:06:48,160 --> 01:06:49,760
Speaker 9: not with her parents.

1524
01:06:49,920 --> 01:06:50,160
Speaker 6: Yeah.

1525
01:06:50,760 --> 01:06:53,720
Speaker 9: So yeah, this is this is a big, big red flag.

1526
01:06:53,800 --> 01:06:56,560
Speaker 9: I'm so glad that they're not like actively getting married.

1527
01:06:57,240 --> 01:06:58,600
Speaker 3: Yeah, not anymore.

1528
01:06:58,800 --> 01:06:59,280
Speaker 5: Yeah.

1529
01:06:59,600 --> 01:07:03,640
Speaker 6: I can't think of a more cringey thing than having

1530
01:07:03,760 --> 01:07:08,320
Speaker 6: literally zero empathy for your orphaned fiance's like, I want

1531
01:07:08,360 --> 01:07:10,960
Speaker 6: to share a name with my beautiful family. I don't

1532
01:07:11,000 --> 01:07:13,000
Speaker 6: care who it is. It's not about me, it's just

1533
01:07:13,040 --> 01:07:15,160
Speaker 6: about us all having a name. Oh and you're like,

1534
01:07:15,240 --> 01:07:17,680
Speaker 6: you gross, that's giving me the ick. Yeah, it's like

1535
01:07:18,000 --> 01:07:21,240
Speaker 6: what it's like? Okay, well you have fun being single

1536
01:07:21,320 --> 01:07:22,360
Speaker 6: because we're breaking up.

1537
01:07:22,560 --> 01:07:24,200
Speaker 3: Literally six days later.

1538
01:07:25,040 --> 01:07:27,280
Speaker 6: I went to work on Monday and my boss could

1539
01:07:27,280 --> 01:07:29,680
Speaker 6: tell I was depressed, so she asked me what was

1540
01:07:29,720 --> 01:07:32,440
Speaker 6: going on. I explained everything that I had on my

1541
01:07:32,520 --> 01:07:35,040
Speaker 6: mind and the conversation I had to have over the weekend.

1542
01:07:35,600 --> 01:07:37,800
Speaker 6: She asked me if I wanted a distraction from everything,

1543
01:07:37,840 --> 01:07:40,440
Speaker 6: and offered to have me accompany her and her husband,

1544
01:07:40,440 --> 01:07:42,640
Speaker 6: who are co owners of the company I work for,

1545
01:07:42,920 --> 01:07:45,640
Speaker 6: on a short trip to meet with some potential clients.

1546
01:07:45,800 --> 01:07:48,200
Speaker 6: I would be working on the project anyway, so she

1547
01:07:48,320 --> 01:07:50,160
Speaker 6: thought it might be good to have me in the meetings,

1548
01:07:50,280 --> 01:07:52,720
Speaker 6: especially if I needed to get out of town. So

1549
01:07:52,880 --> 01:07:55,680
Speaker 6: early Tuesday morning, the three of us left for the meetings.

1550
01:07:55,960 --> 01:07:58,240
Speaker 6: We were busy all afternoon and part of the evening,

1551
01:07:58,360 --> 01:08:01,520
Speaker 6: so I wasn't checking my personal So at ten pm

1552
01:08:01,560 --> 01:08:04,040
Speaker 6: I saw I had a lot of missed calls I

1553
01:08:04,040 --> 01:08:09,560
Speaker 6: wonder from who and texts from my fiance By a lot,

1554
01:08:09,600 --> 01:08:12,800
Speaker 6: I mean over fifty texts and nineteen missed calls since

1555
01:08:12,840 --> 01:08:15,520
Speaker 6: that morning. It seems she went to my condo and

1556
01:08:15,560 --> 01:08:17,640
Speaker 6: when security wouldn't let her in since I took her

1557
01:08:17,640 --> 01:08:20,680
Speaker 6: off my list of approved visitors. She flipped out, so

1558
01:08:20,720 --> 01:08:23,439
Speaker 6: she started calling and texting me. Then she started trying

1559
01:08:23,479 --> 01:08:25,840
Speaker 6: to contact our mutual friends and her family, none of.

1560
01:08:25,840 --> 01:08:27,479
Speaker 3: Whom knew where I was either.

1561
01:08:27,920 --> 01:08:29,720
Speaker 6: Her last ditch effort to get me to answer her

1562
01:08:29,760 --> 01:08:31,240
Speaker 6: was to threaten to call the police and say she

1563
01:08:31,280 --> 01:08:34,919
Speaker 6: hadn't seen me in days and was worried for my safety,

1564
01:08:35,600 --> 01:08:38,000
Speaker 6: and when I didn't answer right away, she went through

1565
01:08:38,040 --> 01:08:40,240
Speaker 6: with that plant. The police were allowed to enter the

1566
01:08:40,240 --> 01:08:42,800
Speaker 6: condo community, and when I didn't answer my door, they

1567
01:08:42,800 --> 01:08:46,439
Speaker 6: couldn't do anything else and left. This didn't please my fiance,

1568
01:08:46,880 --> 01:08:49,680
Speaker 6: and she kept calling and texting. When I saw the

1569
01:08:49,720 --> 01:08:51,720
Speaker 6: calls and messages, I sent one text and I reply

1570
01:08:51,880 --> 01:08:53,839
Speaker 6: that only said I'm on a work trip until Thursday.

1571
01:08:54,120 --> 01:08:56,599
Speaker 6: Please respect my need for time to think about everything.

1572
01:08:56,920 --> 01:08:59,519
Speaker 6: We will talk when I get home. Then I ignored

1573
01:08:59,600 --> 01:09:01,920
Speaker 6: everything from her for the rest of the week while

1574
01:09:01,920 --> 01:09:05,000
Speaker 6: I was away. Fast forward to Thursday evening. We land

1575
01:09:05,120 --> 01:09:07,479
Speaker 6: back in the city and I drove home wanting to

1576
01:09:07,560 --> 01:09:09,719
Speaker 6: go to bed and sleep in the next day since

1577
01:09:09,720 --> 01:09:11,920
Speaker 6: I was given the day off. I guess she was

1578
01:09:12,000 --> 01:09:14,600
Speaker 6: lurking nearby because I was told later. She tried to

1579
01:09:14,640 --> 01:09:16,879
Speaker 6: follow me into the gate, but was stopped by security

1580
01:09:17,000 --> 01:09:19,880
Speaker 6: since she never scanned a parking pass. That's when she

1581
01:09:19,960 --> 01:09:23,519
Speaker 6: starts blowing up my phone again. I texted back one

1582
01:09:23,520 --> 01:09:25,840
Speaker 6: more time to tell her to give me space and

1583
01:09:25,880 --> 01:09:29,240
Speaker 6: we would talk later, then showered and went to sleep.

1584
01:09:29,760 --> 01:09:33,160
Speaker 6: What's so funny about this, too, is that she was

1585
01:09:33,200 --> 01:09:35,240
Speaker 6: the one who would go like, we're not talking about

1586
01:09:35,280 --> 01:09:37,720
Speaker 6: this anymore, and then we just walk away. And then

1587
01:09:37,720 --> 01:09:40,600
Speaker 6: you do it to her and she literally has a

1588
01:09:40,640 --> 01:09:43,840
Speaker 6: fatal meltdown, like in her computer brain where it's like.

1589
01:09:43,880 --> 01:09:46,479
Speaker 3: No, no, no, wait, I'm gonna call you seventy two times.

1590
01:09:46,560 --> 01:09:48,760
Speaker 9: You would think there would be like a learning experience

1591
01:09:48,760 --> 01:09:49,599
Speaker 9: for her of being.

1592
01:09:49,439 --> 01:09:51,120
Speaker 5: Like whoa self reflection?

1593
01:09:51,680 --> 01:09:55,120
Speaker 3: But no, clearly not. She can't. There's nothing else to reflect,

1594
01:09:55,160 --> 01:09:56,400
Speaker 3: it's just the self. Yep.

1595
01:09:56,800 --> 01:09:59,000
Speaker 6: So that's when she started blowing up my phone again.

1596
01:09:59,160 --> 01:10:01,640
Speaker 6: I texted back one more time to tell her to

1597
01:10:01,680 --> 01:10:04,000
Speaker 6: give me space and we would talk later, then showered

1598
01:10:04,040 --> 01:10:06,400
Speaker 6: and went to sleep. By Friday morning, I had seventy

1599
01:10:06,439 --> 01:10:09,320
Speaker 6: three more texts and thirty two missed calls. At that point,

1600
01:10:09,360 --> 01:10:11,040
Speaker 6: I knew I had to just end things with her.

1601
01:10:11,080 --> 01:10:13,160
Speaker 6: Sooner rather than later, so I could get some peace.

1602
01:10:13,760 --> 01:10:16,800
Speaker 6: Long story made short. As of yesterday afternoon, I've ended

1603
01:10:16,800 --> 01:10:19,400
Speaker 6: the engagement. I took the same friend who was nearby

1604
01:10:19,479 --> 01:10:21,200
Speaker 6: last weekend so i'd have a witness in case she

1605
01:10:21,280 --> 01:10:24,599
Speaker 6: did anything. She refuses to give the ring back because

1606
01:10:24,600 --> 01:10:27,160
Speaker 6: she thinks I'll come to my senses soon and she'll

1607
01:10:27,240 --> 01:10:30,240
Speaker 6: keep it until then. I don't even care she can

1608
01:10:30,280 --> 01:10:32,519
Speaker 6: have it. I think Op has done the right thing.

1609
01:10:34,080 --> 01:10:38,000
Speaker 6: It was that you gotta call it. Yeah, you realize

1610
01:10:38,040 --> 01:10:41,760
Speaker 6: that your partner is completely unfit for partnership.

1611
01:10:41,800 --> 01:10:43,519
Speaker 2: It seems like it sucks that.

1612
01:10:44,600 --> 01:10:47,879
Speaker 9: You know, being ready for marriage and talking about marriage

1613
01:10:47,920 --> 01:10:49,519
Speaker 9: is kind of how you ended up here. But at

1614
01:10:49,560 --> 01:10:53,920
Speaker 9: the same time, you know you learned something new about

1615
01:10:53,960 --> 01:10:57,439
Speaker 9: your partner every day. It's still an important conversation to have.

1616
01:10:57,520 --> 01:11:00,320
Speaker 9: It's still good that you are not.

1617
01:11:00,320 --> 01:11:04,800
Speaker 5: Quite married yet before figuring out this and huge red flag.

1618
01:11:05,080 --> 01:11:06,880
Speaker 3: It's good it happened before the wedding.

1619
01:11:07,240 --> 01:11:10,639
Speaker 6: Yes, her friends and family started calling me within fifteen

1620
01:11:10,680 --> 01:11:13,080
Speaker 6: minutes of me ending things. I've blocked them all since

1621
01:11:13,120 --> 01:11:15,160
Speaker 6: they're being nasty to me and blaming me.

1622
01:11:15,400 --> 01:11:15,920
Speaker 3: For it all.

1623
01:11:16,439 --> 01:11:18,360
Speaker 6: Judging by what they're saying, it seems like she made

1624
01:11:18,439 --> 01:11:20,759
Speaker 6: up a story about me having a mental health crisis

1625
01:11:20,760 --> 01:11:23,519
Speaker 6: and wanted to be alone again. I don't even care

1626
01:11:24,120 --> 01:11:26,360
Speaker 6: my good friends were told what happened when my friends

1627
01:11:26,360 --> 01:11:29,240
Speaker 6: sent out a text with a brief explanation. I hope

1628
01:11:29,280 --> 01:11:31,639
Speaker 6: she leaves me alone so I can heal from everything

1629
01:11:31,680 --> 01:11:36,480
Speaker 6: over time. I'm just so emotionally exhausted. There are some comments.

1630
01:11:37,640 --> 01:11:41,200
Speaker 6: Lincoln Hawk calling says you've been more than reasonable with

1631
01:11:41,240 --> 01:11:43,360
Speaker 6: her on this issue. You even offered to take her

1632
01:11:43,439 --> 01:11:46,280
Speaker 6: name if she didn't want yours. You thoroughly explained why

1633
01:11:46,320 --> 01:11:48,960
Speaker 6: Sherry a name was very important to you. She instead

1634
01:11:49,040 --> 01:11:51,160
Speaker 6: chose to ignore all of that and drew her line

1635
01:11:51,160 --> 01:11:54,040
Speaker 6: in the sand. I don't know what she was expecting. Honestly,

1636
01:11:54,080 --> 01:11:56,120
Speaker 6: it sounds like you dodged a bullet. If you hadn't

1637
01:11:56,160 --> 01:11:58,519
Speaker 6: had this argument and went through with your plan for marriage.

1638
01:11:58,680 --> 01:12:01,240
Speaker 6: It appears she had very little, well if any, respect

1639
01:12:01,520 --> 01:12:04,000
Speaker 6: or consideration for you. Glad you are free of her

1640
01:12:04,000 --> 01:12:07,000
Speaker 6: now and can finally have some piece op the real

1641
01:12:07,120 --> 01:12:10,720
Speaker 6: Carpe Felis says, I think she loves having control and

1642
01:12:10,760 --> 01:12:13,160
Speaker 6: getting to have everything her own way, far more than

1643
01:12:13,200 --> 01:12:16,200
Speaker 6: she ever loved op A lot of commenters are saying

1644
01:12:16,240 --> 01:12:19,200
Speaker 6: she sounds unhinged. I agree, but I think it's more

1645
01:12:19,240 --> 01:12:22,280
Speaker 6: than just that you've described before how she always has

1646
01:12:22,360 --> 01:12:24,800
Speaker 6: to have her way. I think the name issue was

1647
01:12:24,840 --> 01:12:27,439
Speaker 6: a power play on her part, because the cringe thing

1648
01:12:27,479 --> 01:12:29,759
Speaker 6: sounds like utter bs she made up on the spot,

1649
01:12:30,040 --> 01:12:31,760
Speaker 6: and now that you've broken it off with her, she

1650
01:12:31,920 --> 01:12:35,960
Speaker 6: lost the upper hand, and now she's pissed. You definitely

1651
01:12:36,040 --> 01:12:38,120
Speaker 6: haven't seen or heard the last of her. She's going

1652
01:12:38,160 --> 01:12:40,519
Speaker 6: to get vindictive and you'll probably need a restraining order.

1653
01:12:41,120 --> 01:12:41,439
Speaker 3: Yeah.

1654
01:12:41,520 --> 01:12:44,080
Speaker 6: I was gonna say, we should definitely get ahead of

1655
01:12:44,120 --> 01:12:47,400
Speaker 6: any false narratives that she's putting out there. If people

1656
01:12:47,439 --> 01:12:49,720
Speaker 6: are reaching out to you, you know, at whatever her

1657
01:12:49,720 --> 01:12:52,240
Speaker 6: family unit. Your friend seems to have already taken care

1658
01:12:52,240 --> 01:12:54,120
Speaker 6: of it on the friend's side, But in terms of

1659
01:12:54,120 --> 01:12:56,679
Speaker 6: her family I would just send out a brief group

1660
01:12:56,760 --> 01:12:58,840
Speaker 6: message to them and be like, this is the last

1661
01:12:59,040 --> 01:13:00,519
Speaker 6: I'm not going to respond to it anything that could

1662
01:13:00,520 --> 01:13:03,519
Speaker 6: send here. I'm just sending the real story. Yeah, exactly,

1663
01:13:03,720 --> 01:13:06,479
Speaker 6: and then that is the end of that story.

1664
01:13:06,720 --> 01:13:07,200
Speaker 2: Yes, it is.