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Speaker 1: Pushkin.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god, that guy has a shirt that says

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Speaker 2: spilling the tea since seventeen seventy six.

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Speaker 1: That's awesome.

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Speaker 2: For this extra special episode in our new Happiness Hot

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Speaker 2: Takes season, I've decided to take a little field trip

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Speaker 2: to Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Oh gosh, there's so many school kids here.

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Speaker 2: There's like five hundred little kids who are here. I

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Speaker 2: guess see the Declaration of Independence.

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Speaker 1: You're not put your mouth you?

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Speaker 2: Okay? Where do we get in line for the tours?

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Speaker 2: I'm about to visit an important spot in my country's history,

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Speaker 2: one that's particularly inspiring for a happiness expert like me. Hey,

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Speaker 2: Happiness Lab listeners, I'm coming to you live from right

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Speaker 2: outside of Independence Hall in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. This is the

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Speaker 2: building where it all happened exactly two hundred and fifty

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Speaker 2: years ago this week. And I am super turning out

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Speaker 2: right now to see why this building has me in

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Speaker 2: nerding out so much. Let's do a quick American history lesson.

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Speaker 2: It's the summer of seventeen seventy six, and the fledgling

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Speaker 2: US colonies have grown more and more pissed off at

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Speaker 2: King George the Third and all the taxation and oppression

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Speaker 2: coming out of Great Britain. That frustration came to a

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Speaker 2: violent head with the so called shot heard round the

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Speaker 2: world at the Battle of Lexington, and so the colonists

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Speaker 2: decided to send a group of delegates known as the

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Speaker 2: Second Continental Congress to Philadelphia to figure out what to

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Speaker 2: do next. After some feeble attempts at a peaceful resolution,

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Speaker 2: the Congress concluded that the only viable solution was to

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Speaker 2: break from imperial rule and form a new independent republic.

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Speaker 2: The delegates appointed a committee of five to write the

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Speaker 2: historic announcement that the thirteen colonies were ready to formally.

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Speaker 1: Severtise with the British crown.

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Speaker 2: Fabled wordsmith Thomas Jefferson was charged with penning the first draft.

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Speaker 2: In addition to spelling out the colonists' many grievances and

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Speaker 2: inspiring his countrymen to pick up their muskets and fight

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Speaker 2: for freedom, Jefferson also had to write a document that

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Speaker 2: spelled out the principles the new republic would stand for,

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Speaker 2: a doctrine that he hoped would encapsulate what he would

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Speaker 2: later call the harmonizing sentiments of the day. After more

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Speaker 2: than two weeks toiling away in a sweltering Pennsylvania boarding house,

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Speaker 2: Jefferson was ready to share his draft with fellow committee

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Speaker 2: members Ben Franklin, John Adams, Roger Sherman, and Robert Livingston,

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Speaker 2: who then spent two more days making extensive edits changes

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Speaker 2: that Jefferson would describe as mutilations. Ouch but fresh with

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Speaker 2: those mutilated tract changes, Jefferson and the Committee finally shared

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Speaker 2: their famous announcement with the Continental Congress in this very building.

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Speaker 2: On July fourth, seventeen seventy six, the Second Continental Congress

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Speaker 2: voted to ratify what would later become known as the

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Speaker 2: Declaration of Independence. What words did Jefferson choose to inspire

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Speaker 2: the colonists and express those harmonizing sentiments of the day.

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Speaker 1: I'm guessing you may remember from history class.

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Speaker 2: We hold these truths to be self evident, that all

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Speaker 2: men are created equal, that they are endowed by their

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Speaker 2: career with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty,

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Speaker 2: and wait for it, the pursuit of happiness.

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Speaker 1: What a mic drop moment, and happened right here.

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Speaker 2: The pursuit of happiness has been a fundamental part of

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Speaker 2: the so called American experiment since the beginning, and that's

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Speaker 2: why I couldn't help but travel to this historic spot

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Speaker 2: in Philadelphia on the eve of the two hundred and

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Speaker 2: fiftieth anniversary of American Independence to announce this week's revolutionary

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Speaker 2: Happiness hot Take. With all due respect to Jefferson and

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Speaker 2: the founding fathers, I hold this happiness hot take to

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Speaker 2: be self evident that the pursuit of happiness is in

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Speaker 2: fact a very bad idea. You heard me right, The

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Speaker 2: pursuit of happiness not a good idea, or at the

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Speaker 2: very least, something that can go very wrong if we're

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Speaker 2: not careful. Why is your intrepid podcast host denouncing two

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Speaker 2: hundred and fifty years of revolutionary wisdom. Why is she

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Speaker 2: criticizing what, at first glance may seem to be the

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Speaker 2: entire point of this podcast. Well, get ready to join

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Speaker 2: me on a historic journey to find out. Our minds

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Speaker 2: are constantly telling us what to do to be happy.

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Speaker 2: But what if our minds are wrong? What if our

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Speaker 2: minds are lying to us, leading us away from what

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Speaker 2: will really make us happy. The good news is the

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Speaker 2: understanding the science of the mind can foint us all

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Speaker 2: back in the right direction. You're listening to the Happiness

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Speaker 2: Lab with Doctor Laurie Santois.

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Speaker 3: One of the things I always love to point out

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Speaker 3: is that the word for happiness in every Indo European

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Speaker 3: language without exception is cognate with luck. So the Old

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Speaker 3: Norse and Old English root of happiness is hap. It

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Speaker 3: shows up in words like happens or perhaps or mishap.

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Speaker 3: Shakespeare uses it hap what happened may he says.

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Speaker 2: This is Darren McMahon, a professor at Dartmouth College and

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Speaker 2: the author of an awesome book entitled Happiness, a History.

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Speaker 3: But the idea there is that happiness is a function

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Speaker 3: of luck of fortune, and that human beings don't really

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Speaker 3: have control over luck or fortune. Right. That's in the

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Speaker 3: hands of the gods or the fates, and we can't

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Speaker 3: really control them. And I like to make the point

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Speaker 3: that really, in most developing societies that is the norm, right,

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Speaker 3: Happiness is not something that you can aspire to and

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Speaker 3: control for yourself. If you get a little bit of

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Speaker 3: it here and there, good for you, but you can't

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Speaker 3: count on it.

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Speaker 2: Darren's an expert on how the concept of happiness has

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Speaker 2: changed over the last two thousand plus years. I've tagged

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Speaker 2: him in to help me make sense of what Jefferson

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Speaker 2: and the forefathers really meant with their famous phrase. But

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Speaker 2: to find that out, we need to start at the beginning,

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Speaker 2: and for most of human history, happiness wasn't something that

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Speaker 2: even made sense to pursue, because it kind of came

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Speaker 2: down to chance.

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Speaker 3: Now that older idea gets challenged by many of the

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Speaker 3: wisdom traditions that come into being in the first millennium

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Speaker 3: B see the classical religious traditions as well as classical

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Speaker 3: philosophical traditions in Greece and Roman other places. And essentially,

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Speaker 3: obviously you have massive differences between the Buddhist tradition and

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Speaker 3: classical Judaism and so forth. They share is the idea

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Speaker 3: that God is not random, that God is not inherently vengeful,

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Speaker 3: and that our own actions, the way that we shape

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Speaker 3: our personalities, the way that we live our lives, has

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Speaker 3: some bearing or fate on our ultimate happiness. And so

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Speaker 3: the crucial idea is expressed wonderfully by Aristotle to the

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Speaker 3: effect that happiness is a life lived accordance with virtue,

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Speaker 3: and that we can control in some ways our ultimate faith.

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Speaker 2: No one used a phrase like the pursuit of happiness

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Speaker 2: back in Aristotle's day. But he and his contemporaries were

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Speaker 2: the first to think that such a pursuit could even

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Speaker 2: be possible, that at least with a lot of work,

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Speaker 2: one could, in theory, try to become happier.

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Speaker 3: The thing that's so different though about those traditions is

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Speaker 3: that happiness remains a kind of special attainment. It's the

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Speaker 3: highest attainment. Aristotles is that the happier, the happy few right.

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Speaker 3: And even though in a tradition like Buddhism there's the

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Speaker 3: belief that all human beings have the capacity for happiness,

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Speaker 3: there's also the realization that most people don't get there right.

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Speaker 3: Happiness is attained, but it's really the highest human achievement.

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Speaker 3: It's something you have to devote your life to. It's

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Speaker 3: a craft that we cultivate through an entire life, and

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Speaker 3: that's just not something that most people are going to

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Speaker 3: be up to.

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Speaker 2: But all that changed during the Enlightenment period of the

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Speaker 2: eighteenth century. Just around the time that the American forefathers

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Speaker 2: were coming up with their revolutionary ideals, people began thinking

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Speaker 2: and talking about the concept of happiness in a very

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Speaker 2: different way. Darren argues that the eighteenth century was marked

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Speaker 2: by several important shifts that redefine how people thought about

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Speaker 2: what it meant to live a good life. The first

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Speaker 2: of these shifts involved the massive change to people's life expectancy.

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Speaker 2: After centuries of disease and famine, people were living longer.

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Speaker 2: Society was also undergoing lots of changes in terms of

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Speaker 2: how people lived. From more hygienic practices to better home

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Speaker 2: heating to less smoke inhalation from chimneys to better lighting

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Speaker 2: to less itchy bedding. People's lives were starting to feel

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Speaker 2: more comfortable and more controllable.

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Speaker 3: So I talk about the eighteenth century as this crucial

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Speaker 3: period of a revolution in human expectations, when really, for

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Speaker 3: the first time in human history, large numbers of people

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Speaker 3: were presented with the possibility that they didn't have to

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Speaker 3: suffer inherently in life, that they ought to be happy.

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Speaker 3: And if they're not happy, then we need to address

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Speaker 3: the things that stand in the way. But basically, happiness

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Speaker 3: is the human default.

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Speaker 2: This idea of happiness as a default was also championed

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Speaker 2: by the new scientific ideas of the Enlightenment period. The

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Speaker 2: Forefathers grew up around the time that Isaac Newton was

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Speaker 2: coming up with his famous Laws of motion, and gravity,

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Speaker 2: and when thinkers like Renee Descartes began conceiving of the

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Speaker 2: universe as one big machine, these notions of order and

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Speaker 2: natural law were soon applied to mankind, leading to the

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Speaker 2: idea that human beings are creatures designed by God to

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Speaker 2: feel good and live well.

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Speaker 3: How do we know this well, because we naturally are

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Speaker 3: attracted to pleasure, and we naturally flee pain. John Locke,

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Speaker 3: the English philosopher is sometimes called the Newton of the Mind,

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Speaker 3: was a great admirer of Isaac Newton. And he imagines

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Speaker 3: human beings life like objects in space acted upon by gravity,

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Speaker 3: but in this case by pleasure pain. We are repulsed

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Speaker 3: by pain, and we are attracted to pleasure like an

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Speaker 3: object in space acted upon by gravity. And that's just natural,

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Speaker 3: he says. And so we need to get rid of

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Speaker 3: these older kind of hang ups we have about pleasure, right,

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Speaker 3: the Christian idea that pleasure is always the gateway to sin,

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Speaker 3: that pleasure is kind of inherently a taboo. No, Locke says,

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Speaker 3: pleasure is a good thing. We should work to cultivate it.

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Speaker 2: New scientific advances also changed what people thought about the

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Speaker 2: outward expression of pleasure. Consider, for example, the emerging field

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Speaker 2: of dentistry, which began in France around this same time.

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Speaker 3: Prior to that point, most people had bad teeth and

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Speaker 3: bad breath, and you don't open your mouth. Aristocrats don't

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Speaker 3: smile in public, in part because they don't want to

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Speaker 3: betray their emotions, but in part because they have these

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Speaker 3: kind of gaping mugs that they don't want to show.

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Speaker 4: Well.

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Speaker 3: That begins a change in the eighteenth century, and the

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Speaker 3: smile becomes an outward emblem of a good inner life.

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Speaker 3: So feeling well is an indication that you are being well,

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Speaker 3: that you're living well.

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Speaker 2: This importance of living well was also reflected in changes

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Speaker 2: to religious thought during the Enlightenment period.

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Speaker 3: You get a kind of de emphasis on an older

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Speaker 3: fire and brimstone type approach. You know that God is

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Speaker 3: an angry, vengeful God who sits up there on clouds

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Speaker 3: and sends thunderbolts down, a greater emphasis on God's love,

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Speaker 3: a greater emphasis on God's desire that were happy not

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Speaker 3: only in the next life, but in this life. So

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Speaker 3: you actually see the phrase the pursuit of happiness all

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Speaker 3: over the place in eighteenth century America in sermons, and

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Speaker 3: most people that's probably where they would have heard the

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Speaker 3: phrase for the first time.

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Speaker 1: Yes, that's right.

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Speaker 2: Clever a wordsmith as Jefferson was, he was not the

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Speaker 2: first to come up with that oh so catchy tagline

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Speaker 2: that he used in the Declaration of Independence. In fact,

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Speaker 2: Jefferson's contemporaries would easily recognize this quote and stuff they

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Speaker 2: were hearing all the time, both in churches and in

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Speaker 2: eighteenth century novels. But did the pursuit of happiness mean

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Speaker 2: the same thing back then as it does now? Our

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Speaker 2: forefathers understand that harmonizing sentiment in the same way we

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Speaker 2: do today. Well, let's start with one part of the

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Speaker 2: famous quote that you probably assume reads pretty much the

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Speaker 2: same now as it did back in the seventeen hundreds,

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Speaker 2: the word pursuit. Turns out that pursuit had a very

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Speaker 2: different connotation in the eighteenth century.

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Speaker 3: Samuel Johnson, right doctor Johnson, the Great english Man of Letters,

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Speaker 3: in his Dictionary of the English Language, defines pursuit as

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Speaker 3: to follow in hostility, and then he uses the example

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Speaker 3: of a pursuer, which, apparently, in Scottish law in the

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Speaker 3: eighteenth century is a criminal prosecutor, somebody who hunts down,

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Speaker 3: you know, criminals. The French have this phrase. Rather than

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Speaker 3: say the pursuit of happiness, they say las schassu bernard

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Speaker 3: the hunt for happiness. And I think that's wonderful. Because

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Speaker 3: you hunt something, what happens when you come upon it.

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Speaker 1: You know you have to kill it.

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Speaker 2: The eighteenth century notion of a pursuit was supposed to

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Speaker 2: be adversarial, the sort of frustrated hunt that often ends

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Speaker 2: in defeat, if it even ends at all. The Great

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Speaker 2: Enlightenment philosopher Thomas Hobbs famously describe the pursuit of happiness

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Speaker 2: as a quote perpetual and restless desire of power after

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Speaker 2: power that seetith only in death. That's not exactly the

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Speaker 2: way we tend to think about what it means to

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Speaker 2: pursue happiness today. But did Jefferson really mean to imply

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Speaker 2: that the quest for happiness was kind of doomed from

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Speaker 2: the start? Darren says that another hint comes from a

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Speaker 2: word that Jefferson and the Forefathers chose not to use

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Speaker 2: in their famous preamble.

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Speaker 3: Although the Declaration talks about a right to pursue happiness,

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Speaker 3: many of the state constitutions talk about a right to

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Speaker 3: obtain happiness. So George Mason, Jefferson's close friend in Virginia,

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Speaker 3: drafts the preamble to the Virginia Bill of Rights just

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Speaker 3: a month before the Declaration of Independence in June of

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Speaker 3: seventeen seventy six, and the Virginia Declaration of Right talks

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Speaker 3: about men as equals with certain inherent rights, including their

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Speaker 3: right to acquire and own property and to pursue and

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Speaker 3: obtain happiness. Pursuing and obtaining happiness then becomes a right,

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Speaker 3: and that's rea juice and a whole number of state constitutions,

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Speaker 3: including where I am now in New Hampshire, I left

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Speaker 3: to tell my Darkmuth students that they have a right

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Speaker 3: to obtain happiness, and that notion is really out there

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Speaker 3: in the eighteenth century, so much so that in the

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Speaker 3: nineteenth century you actually see a jurisprudence develop where people

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Speaker 3: start suing state governments for not fulfilling their right to

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Speaker 3: obtain happiness, which, you know, such a wonderfully American thing

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Speaker 3: to do, But there you have it.

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Speaker 2: By omitting that we had a right to obtain happiness.

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Speaker 2: It seems that Jefferson and the drafters of the Declaration,

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Speaker 2: we're trying to make an important distinction between the three

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Speaker 2: different rights they mentioned in the preamble. Life and liberty

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Speaker 2: are supposed to be straight up unalienable rights, well at

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Speaker 2: least unalienable for white rich landed men.

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Speaker 1: Important sidebar.

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Speaker 2: You didn't exactly get those same rights if you were poor,

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Speaker 2: or a woman, or a native person or a slave

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Speaker 2: working on one of Jefferson's many huge plantations.

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Speaker 1: But I digress.

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Speaker 2: If you were one of the unfortunately limited number of

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Speaker 2: people the preamble was aimed at, you were supposed to

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Speaker 2: get life and liberty as rights, for sure, no questions asked.

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Speaker 2: But the right to happiness didn't work the same way

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Speaker 2: as those first two other rights. Our right to happiness

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Speaker 2: was not guaranteed because the forefathers didn't give us an

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Speaker 2: unalienable right to obtain happiness, only to pursue it.

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Speaker 3: You know, they're reading Cicero and Plutarch and Epicurus and Aristotle,

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Speaker 3: and they take from them this idea that we have

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Speaker 3: to shape our personalities through hard work, right through discipline,

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Speaker 3: through moral craft and cultivation. We need to take on

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Speaker 3: much of the advice that you and pausitive psychologists give us.

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Speaker 3: A happiness doesn't just happen, we have to put the

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Speaker 3: blocks in place, and so they profoundly believe that idea.

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Speaker 3: And I think that Jefferson and others would have said that,

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Speaker 3: you know, you can't guarantee the outcome, because the outcome

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Speaker 3: depends on a life well lived, and that takes work,

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Speaker 3: it takes dedication, it takes craft, both at the individual

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Speaker 3: level and at the social level, and those two are

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Speaker 3: related for the founders, and we can't predict that outcome

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Speaker 3: until happens. So a right to get in the game,

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Speaker 3: a right to pursue, but not to obtain.

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Speaker 2: And that gets to the final way that the eighteenth

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Speaker 2: century notion of the pursuit of happiness differs from what

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Speaker 2: we usually mean today. What Jefferson and his contemporaries implied

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Speaker 2: by the word happiness.

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Speaker 3: In the eighteenth century is this wonderful period that's suspended

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Speaker 3: between a very modern idea of thinking about happiness simply

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Speaker 3: as just getting more and more pleasure for longer and

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Speaker 3: longer periods, and an older Judaeo Christian and classical notion

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Speaker 3: of happiness as virtue, happiness as a kind of sustained

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Speaker 3: attention to crafting a life well lived.

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Speaker 2: Darren says that the Enlightenment notion of happiness was best

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Speaker 2: summarized as it's complicated. Pleasure was definitely a big part

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Speaker 2: of the pursuit of happiness for Jefferson and his contemporaries.

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Speaker 2: The Forefathers were into living a life that felt good

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Speaker 2: in the moment, But happiness, for the Forefathers also meant

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Speaker 2: something much broader than merely feeling good. To pursue happiness

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Speaker 2: in the eighteenth century, a person also had to live virtuously.

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Speaker 2: As Jefferson himself put it in later writings, happiness is

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Speaker 2: the aim of life, but virtue is the foundation of happiness.

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Speaker 2: The Forefathers thought that personal happiness could be obtained by

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Speaker 2: prioritizing the public good, by cultivating virtues like moderation, discipline,

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Speaker 2: and self sacrifice so that you could strive for the

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Speaker 2: betterment of all. I asked Darren what he thought Jefferson

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Speaker 2: would say if he could see how people think about

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Speaker 2: happiness in its pursuit today.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't think he'd be too pleased.

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Speaker 1: Let's put it that way, hmm.

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Speaker 2: I guess all our expensive lifestyle brands and personal wellness

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Speaker 2: routines and TikTok self care hacks would make poor old

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Speaker 2: Jefferson think that modern Americans had veered a little off track.

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Speaker 3: I think he would see a world in which people

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Speaker 3: have turned inward and pursue their own pleasures at the

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Speaker 3: expense of those of others as really profoundly disturbing.

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Speaker 2: But Darren says that this concern about how Americans pursue

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Speaker 2: happiness has actually been around for quite a while. When

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Speaker 2: we get back from the break, we'll meet a nineteenth

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Speaker 2: century writer who was seriously disturbed by how our countrymen

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Speaker 2: were pursuing the good life. Well hear what he thought

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Speaker 2: Americans were getting wrong and what modern science shows we

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Speaker 2: can start doing to get things right. The Happiness Lab

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Speaker 2: will be back in a moment. It's eighteen thirty one,

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Speaker 2: just fifty five years after the signing of the Declaration

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Speaker 2: of Independence, and a young French aristocrat by the name

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Speaker 2: of Alexis to Tokville has just landed on the bustling

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Speaker 2: streets of New York City. Over the next few months,

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Speaker 2: Topol would embark on a famous anthropological study of how

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Speaker 2: things were going for our new young republic in the

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Speaker 2: half century since it gained independence.

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Speaker 3: He's charged in the eighteen thirties by the French government

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Speaker 3: to come to America to study prisons so that he

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Speaker 3: can help carry out prison reform in France. And so

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Speaker 3: he comes to America really for only, you know, a

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Speaker 3: number of months, but it produces this magnum opis published

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Speaker 3: in two volumes in eighteen thirty five and eighteen forty,

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Speaker 3: which is his series of reflections on the democratic experiment

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Speaker 3: in America. Really seen as a vision of what the

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Speaker 3: world will become for Europe, and he sees America and

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Speaker 3: the American experiment as a kind of image of the future.

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Speaker 2: What did Tokeville think when he observed this new American experiment, Well,

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Speaker 2: let's just say, Monsieur Alexis would probably have been very

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Speaker 2: supportive of this week's happiness hot take.

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Speaker 3: You know, he has this wonderful line there where he

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Speaker 3: says that Americans find themselves in the most fortunate conditions,

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Speaker 3: and he says no one could work harder to be happy.

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Speaker 3: He has this line where he says, American will build

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Speaker 3: a house, you know, and before the roof is on,

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Speaker 3: we'll move on to the next one. Because he's constantly

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Speaker 3: pursuing happiness. He says that preachers there and he gets

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Speaker 3: us exactly right give sermons, and it's hard to tell

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Speaker 3: whether their goal is happiness in this life or salvation,

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Speaker 3: because the two are so conflated. And yet in the

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Speaker 3: midst of this ceaseless restless you desire or pursuit of happiness,

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Speaker 3: he finds what he calls a strange melancholy.

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Speaker 2: Tokeville identified two distinct problems with nineteenth century America's pursuit

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Speaker 2: of happiness. The first is one that historian Darren McMahon

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Speaker 2: alluded to. Before the Break, Americans in the eighteen hundreds

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Speaker 2: seemed to be forgetting the forefather's double sense of happiness,

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Speaker 2: that the good life involved not just striving for personal

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Speaker 2: pleasure but also seeking out the public good through virtues

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Speaker 2: like kindness and self restraint. But tofil also noticed a

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Speaker 2: second problem with americans pursuit of happiness. It just didn't

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Speaker 2: seem to be working. Democracy in the eighteen hundreds had

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Speaker 2: bestowed Americans with more opportunities for prosperity and social mobility

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Speaker 2: than was had by nearly any other country in the

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Speaker 2: world at the time, But America's new found freedom to

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Speaker 2: pursue a better life seemed to come at a cost.

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Speaker 2: As Tokefle put it in his famed double volume Democracy

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Speaker 2: in America. There is something astonishing in the spectacle of

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Speaker 2: so many lucky men restless in the midst of abundance,

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Speaker 2: he continued, it seemed that a cloud habitually hung on

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Speaker 2: their brow. They seemed serious and almost sad even in

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Speaker 2: their pleasures. Americans, he said, were in such a rush

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Speaker 2: to obtain happiness that they clutch everything but hold nothing fast,

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Speaker 2: and so lose grip as they hurry after some new delight.

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Speaker 2: That continues for each American, Tokeville explained, until death steps

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Speaker 2: in in the end and stops him before he has

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Speaker 2: grown tired of this feudal pursuit, of that complete felicity

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Speaker 2: which always escapes him.

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Speaker 3: In a world of phrenetic, ceaseless energy, where we're constantly

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Speaker 3: working to be satisfied and never are, you know, that

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Speaker 3: creates a kind of fatigue.

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Speaker 2: Tokeville was one of the first to notice a deep

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Speaker 2: irony an American's pursuit of happiness. The more we seek

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Speaker 2: happiness out, the less happy we seem to become. Unfortunately,

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00:20:46,996 --> 00:20:49,956
Speaker 2: it would take two hundred more years before scientists thought

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Speaker 2: to test whether Tokeville's hypothesis was actually right.

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Speaker 4: Despite the fact, and perhaps even because of the fact

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Speaker 4: that we pretty intensely strive to be happy, we fall

400
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Speaker 4: short of it. So there's a self defeating nature within

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Speaker 4: the pursuit of happiness.

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Speaker 2: I'm chatting with Iris Mouse, a psychology professor at UC Berkeley.

403
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Speaker 2: Iris is an expert on what we get wrong in

404
00:21:16,516 --> 00:21:19,876
Speaker 2: our quest to feel happier, and in fact, it's even

405
00:21:19,956 --> 00:21:23,476
Speaker 2: been shown that the more intensely.

406
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Speaker 4: People strive to be happy, the more likely they are

407
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Speaker 4: to get away from happiness.

408
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Speaker 2: Iris has christened this phenomenon the paradox of happiness.

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Speaker 4: And I think a lot of the bad effects on

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Speaker 4: the pursuit of happiness come from that sense of obligation

411
00:21:40,076 --> 00:21:43,676
Speaker 4: that we put on ourselves and maybe also on other people.

412
00:21:44,236 --> 00:21:48,836
Speaker 4: The moment you say that it's at least somewhat in

413
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Speaker 4: people's own control, the idea arises that people maybe should

414
00:21:55,596 --> 00:21:58,956
Speaker 4: or ought to strive for their own happiness.

415
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Speaker 2: Iras has studied the paradox of happiness in a series

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Speaker 2: of clever studies. In one experiment, she brought subjects into

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Speaker 2: the lab and had them read different theories about the

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Speaker 2: importance of feeling happy.

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Speaker 4: In what we called the obsession with happiness condition. We

420
00:22:13,756 --> 00:22:18,596
Speaker 4: had participants read an article that really extolled the importance

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Speaker 4: of being really happy and being really happy most of

422
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Speaker 4: the time. So they read sort of a fake newspaper

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Speaker 4: article that backed this up with a lot of real

424
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Speaker 4: signs except for we very much emphasized the idea that

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Speaker 4: you should be happy all the time. And in the

426
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Speaker 4: control condition, participants read a similar article but happiness wasn't mentioned.

427
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Speaker 4: And then participants watched a couple of emotional film clips.

428
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Speaker 4: One film clip was really sad, and the sad film

429
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Speaker 4: clip showed a husband losing his wife.

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Speaker 1: Very sad film clip.

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00:22:55,396 --> 00:22:59,276
Speaker 4: In the happy film clip, participants saw a figure skater

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Speaker 4: win the Olympic gold medal, and it was actually Sarah

433
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Speaker 4: Hughes who won the gold medal in.

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Speaker 1: Two thousand and two.

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Speaker 4: But the scene was really similar to what we saw

436
00:23:09,236 --> 00:23:21,276
Speaker 4: recently when Alisa Lux won the gold medal, so it's

437
00:23:21,316 --> 00:23:25,316
Speaker 4: like pure joy. She realizes she's just like knocked it

438
00:23:25,316 --> 00:23:28,556
Speaker 4: out of the feel and celebrates with her coaches, and

439
00:23:28,596 --> 00:23:29,796
Speaker 4: the audience goes wild.

440
00:23:30,436 --> 00:23:33,196
Speaker 2: Both groups of participants, the experimental group who were told

441
00:23:33,196 --> 00:23:35,196
Speaker 2: that they should feel happy all the time and the

442
00:23:35,196 --> 00:23:38,196
Speaker 2: control group who read the non happiness related article or

443
00:23:38,236 --> 00:23:40,276
Speaker 2: asked to fill out a survey about how they felt

444
00:23:40,356 --> 00:23:41,516
Speaker 2: after watching the videos.

445
00:23:41,956 --> 00:23:45,836
Speaker 4: Now, in the sad film clip, there was no difference

446
00:23:45,956 --> 00:23:51,716
Speaker 4: between the two experimental conditions, no matter how highly participants

447
00:23:52,236 --> 00:23:55,916
Speaker 4: valued happiness, in that moment, they all felt really sad.

448
00:23:56,196 --> 00:23:58,556
Speaker 4: But in the happy film clip, we saw a really

449
00:23:58,596 --> 00:24:02,956
Speaker 4: interesting difference between the two experimental conditions, such that the

450
00:24:03,036 --> 00:24:06,996
Speaker 4: group that was led to highly value happiness actually felt

451
00:24:07,116 --> 00:24:12,716
Speaker 4: less happy after watching Sarah Hughes win the gold medal.

452
00:24:13,396 --> 00:24:15,996
Speaker 2: Participants who thought they were supposed to feel happy wound

453
00:24:16,076 --> 00:24:19,156
Speaker 2: up feeling less positive after witnessing a good event. In

454
00:24:19,156 --> 00:24:22,916
Speaker 2: this and other studies, IRIS has observed that paradoxically, the

455
00:24:22,916 --> 00:24:25,436
Speaker 2: more we think we're supposed to be pursuing happiness, the

456
00:24:25,516 --> 00:24:26,716
Speaker 2: less we seem to obtain it.

457
00:24:26,996 --> 00:24:32,076
Speaker 4: People almost feel like an obligation to reach that state

458
00:24:32,156 --> 00:24:36,996
Speaker 4: of happiness, and so they're evaluating how they feel compared

459
00:24:37,036 --> 00:24:40,236
Speaker 4: to where they think they should be. And we actually

460
00:24:40,916 --> 00:24:44,916
Speaker 4: assessed that idea with a question in the study where

461
00:24:44,916 --> 00:24:48,636
Speaker 4: we had asked our participants also how they felt about

462
00:24:48,676 --> 00:24:52,876
Speaker 4: their own feelings, So a question like how disappointed were

463
00:24:53,036 --> 00:24:56,236
Speaker 4: you with how you felt when you watched the film clip?

464
00:24:56,916 --> 00:25:02,756
Speaker 4: And people who were in the valuing happiness condition, they

465
00:25:02,836 --> 00:25:07,076
Speaker 4: actually were more disappointed about how they had felt. So

466
00:25:07,276 --> 00:25:11,476
Speaker 4: there's something about the idea that here, happiness is within

467
00:25:11,596 --> 00:25:16,596
Speaker 4: your reach. You're seeing this really lovely, beautiful, joyful film clip.

468
00:25:16,716 --> 00:25:20,436
Speaker 4: It's within reach, and yet you're falling short. And so

469
00:25:20,556 --> 00:25:22,356
Speaker 4: people judge themselves for that.

470
00:25:22,756 --> 00:25:25,556
Speaker 2: But why to seeking out happiness expecting to obtain it

471
00:25:25,596 --> 00:25:28,716
Speaker 2: paradoxically make us feel worse. Iras says that we can

472
00:25:28,756 --> 00:25:31,276
Speaker 2: gain some insight by looking at what happens when we

473
00:25:31,276 --> 00:25:33,116
Speaker 2: set our sites on any big objective.

474
00:25:33,636 --> 00:25:37,676
Speaker 4: Happiness is a goal, and from that perspective you can

475
00:25:37,716 --> 00:25:42,316
Speaker 4: see the pursuit of happiness as goal pursuit, and we

476
00:25:42,516 --> 00:25:45,556
Speaker 4: have quite a bit of understanding of the sort of

477
00:25:45,636 --> 00:25:49,916
Speaker 4: like steps that people walk along as they pursue goals.

478
00:25:50,636 --> 00:25:53,756
Speaker 2: Psychologists argue that our minds go through four distinct steps

479
00:25:53,756 --> 00:25:56,396
Speaker 2: when pursuing a new goal. The first step, and the

480
00:25:56,436 --> 00:25:59,036
Speaker 2: first spot where we could go wrong, is in choosing

481
00:25:59,076 --> 00:26:01,516
Speaker 2: a goal. Iris has found that there are better and

482
00:26:01,556 --> 00:26:03,836
Speaker 2: worse ways to set a goal. From the perspective of

483
00:26:03,876 --> 00:26:04,636
Speaker 2: feeling happier.

484
00:26:04,876 --> 00:26:07,436
Speaker 4: You can think of that goal either in terms of

485
00:26:07,596 --> 00:26:11,156
Speaker 4: how intensely you want to be happy, but also in

486
00:26:11,236 --> 00:26:14,476
Speaker 4: terms of how often you want to be happy, And

487
00:26:14,916 --> 00:26:19,716
Speaker 4: most people set pretty high goals for being happy. They

488
00:26:19,756 --> 00:26:24,956
Speaker 4: want to be pretty intensely happy, but also pretty frequently happy.

489
00:26:25,236 --> 00:26:27,356
Speaker 2: So is this the step where people go wrong in

490
00:26:27,396 --> 00:26:28,916
Speaker 2: terms of pursuing happiness.

491
00:26:29,116 --> 00:26:34,756
Speaker 4: So for a while, people including myself, thought that if

492
00:26:34,756 --> 00:26:39,196
Speaker 4: we set the goal too intensely, too highly, we're like

493
00:26:39,316 --> 00:26:43,516
Speaker 4: striving really hard to be happy, that that in itself

494
00:26:44,036 --> 00:26:48,196
Speaker 4: is harmful or self defeating. But when you take a

495
00:26:48,236 --> 00:26:53,036
Speaker 4: really close look, it turns out that just being motivated

496
00:26:53,476 --> 00:26:56,756
Speaker 4: to feel happy in and off itself we sometimes call

497
00:26:56,836 --> 00:27:02,436
Speaker 4: it aspiring to being happy, that alone is not necessarily

498
00:27:03,036 --> 00:27:07,436
Speaker 4: inherently harmful. And so we've moved away from thinking that

499
00:27:07,556 --> 00:27:12,236
Speaker 4: the goal itself is what's harmful to thinking that it's

500
00:27:12,516 --> 00:27:19,476
Speaker 4: rather how people go about pursuing that goal that reveals

501
00:27:19,676 --> 00:27:21,636
Speaker 4: the pitfalls.

502
00:27:20,796 --> 00:27:22,796
Speaker 1: Of pursuing happiness.

503
00:27:23,196 --> 00:27:25,396
Speaker 2: And step two in how people go about pursuing that

504
00:27:25,476 --> 00:27:28,556
Speaker 2: goal is what psychologists have called affect regulation.

505
00:27:28,956 --> 00:27:33,676
Speaker 4: And that's just the idea that people will regulate their

506
00:27:33,676 --> 00:27:37,716
Speaker 4: own affective or emotional states to be more in line

507
00:27:37,756 --> 00:27:38,556
Speaker 4: with their goal.

508
00:27:38,996 --> 00:27:41,316
Speaker 2: If your goal is to feel happier, you'll probably be

509
00:27:41,396 --> 00:27:44,236
Speaker 2: motivated to change your situation or what you're paying attention

510
00:27:44,316 --> 00:27:47,036
Speaker 2: to in order to improve your mood. You may also

511
00:27:47,156 --> 00:27:50,596
Speaker 2: try to regulate your affect by actively suppressing your feelings,

512
00:27:51,036 --> 00:27:52,996
Speaker 2: and Ira says that this is a point in the

513
00:27:52,996 --> 00:27:55,396
Speaker 2: goal pursuit process where people tend to go wrong.

514
00:27:55,636 --> 00:28:00,396
Speaker 4: One really common mistake that people make, maybe because it's

515
00:28:00,476 --> 00:28:05,396
Speaker 4: so easy, is to simply not show how they feel

516
00:28:05,436 --> 00:28:08,556
Speaker 4: on the inside. I might feel a little bit sad,

517
00:28:09,476 --> 00:28:12,596
Speaker 4: and I might decide, Uh, it's easiest not to show that.

518
00:28:13,156 --> 00:28:19,196
Speaker 4: But it turns out that that's actually really harmful to happiness,

519
00:28:19,436 --> 00:28:23,276
Speaker 4: in part because it this connects us from other people.

520
00:28:23,916 --> 00:28:27,876
Speaker 4: And so the idea is that emotion suppression might feel

521
00:28:27,916 --> 00:28:32,196
Speaker 4: like a quick fix in the moment, but it actually

522
00:28:32,196 --> 00:28:35,956
Speaker 4: cuts us off from one of the main pathways to happiness,

523
00:28:36,316 --> 00:28:37,556
Speaker 4: which is social connection.

524
00:28:38,156 --> 00:28:41,116
Speaker 2: So step number two, this affect regulation step, is a

525
00:28:41,116 --> 00:28:43,436
Speaker 2: spot where we need to be careful. We're prone to

526
00:28:43,476 --> 00:28:46,596
Speaker 2: suppressing our feelings more than we should. We also tend

527
00:28:46,596 --> 00:28:48,516
Speaker 2: to go wrong in the next step of the happiness

528
00:28:48,556 --> 00:28:52,756
Speaker 2: goal pursuit process, step number three, which Iris calls monitoring.

529
00:28:53,076 --> 00:28:56,796
Speaker 4: So basically, we check in how am I doing? Am

530
00:28:56,836 --> 00:29:00,636
Speaker 4: I getting further along on my path. Am I falling back?

531
00:29:00,756 --> 00:29:01,876
Speaker 4: Am I falling behind?

532
00:29:02,436 --> 00:29:05,196
Speaker 2: But the mere act of posing these monitoring questions can

533
00:29:05,236 --> 00:29:07,316
Speaker 2: also be a recipe for unhappiness.

534
00:29:07,476 --> 00:29:11,716
Speaker 4: There's a saying, ask yourself whether you're happy, and you

535
00:29:11,876 --> 00:29:17,156
Speaker 4: cease to be so, and that encapsulates that very idea

536
00:29:17,356 --> 00:29:22,076
Speaker 4: that you will destroy the very thing you're seeking when

537
00:29:22,236 --> 00:29:24,356
Speaker 4: you're kind of checking in with yourself.

538
00:29:24,756 --> 00:29:26,876
Speaker 1: Am I happy? Yet? How happy? Am i?

539
00:29:27,556 --> 00:29:30,556
Speaker 2: Studies have shown that monitoring our happiness too frequently can

540
00:29:30,596 --> 00:29:33,756
Speaker 2: make us less happy. One experiment used what's known as

541
00:29:33,796 --> 00:29:37,196
Speaker 2: an experienced sampling procedure, which people are pinged at random

542
00:29:37,236 --> 00:29:39,876
Speaker 2: times and ask to report what they're thinking about and

543
00:29:39,916 --> 00:29:43,596
Speaker 2: how they're feeling. Participants reported feeling happier when they were

544
00:29:43,636 --> 00:29:47,356
Speaker 2: not thinking about their own happiness. Results like these are common,

545
00:29:47,636 --> 00:29:50,076
Speaker 2: but Iras says they don't necessarily mean that we should

546
00:29:50,116 --> 00:29:51,756
Speaker 2: abandon monitoring altogether.

547
00:29:52,196 --> 00:29:55,836
Speaker 4: No monitoring at all can't be the answer. Of course,

548
00:29:55,876 --> 00:30:00,476
Speaker 4: you have all these you know, like happiness tracking devices

549
00:30:00,596 --> 00:30:04,036
Speaker 4: these days, right, and a lot of people use them

550
00:30:04,156 --> 00:30:09,996
Speaker 4: to create effect because asking yourself in a really system way,

551
00:30:10,156 --> 00:30:14,356
Speaker 4: how happy am I? Can give you really important clues

552
00:30:14,396 --> 00:30:19,116
Speaker 4: as to what makes you happy? And how can you

553
00:30:19,356 --> 00:30:22,316
Speaker 4: do more of the things that make you happy. So

554
00:30:23,276 --> 00:30:27,916
Speaker 4: there's a tension here when it comes to monitoring, where

555
00:30:28,396 --> 00:30:33,116
Speaker 4: monitoring is sometimes bad and sometimes good for happiness.

556
00:30:33,716 --> 00:30:36,236
Speaker 2: One factor IRIS says is when you do the act

557
00:30:36,276 --> 00:30:38,996
Speaker 2: of monitoring, are you asking yourself how happy am I?

558
00:30:39,036 --> 00:30:41,756
Speaker 2: How happy am I during a positive event? Or do

559
00:30:41,796 --> 00:30:44,916
Speaker 2: you check in after a positive event has ended. Studies

560
00:30:44,956 --> 00:30:47,356
Speaker 2: show that the former type of monitoring makes us less

561
00:30:47,356 --> 00:30:50,196
Speaker 2: happy than the latter, in part because the active monitoring

562
00:30:50,236 --> 00:30:52,876
Speaker 2: takes us out of the present moment, but monitoring how

563
00:30:52,916 --> 00:30:55,356
Speaker 2: an event feels after it's over doesn't seem to hurt

564
00:30:55,356 --> 00:30:58,756
Speaker 2: our happiness as much, so step number three. Monitoring isn't

565
00:30:58,796 --> 00:31:00,916
Speaker 2: all bad, but it's also a spot where we need

566
00:31:00,956 --> 00:31:03,596
Speaker 2: to be careful about our technique, and that brings us

567
00:31:03,636 --> 00:31:06,476
Speaker 2: to step number four of the goal pursuit process. When

568
00:31:06,476 --> 00:31:08,996
Speaker 2: the IRIS has found often goes awry when it comes

569
00:31:08,996 --> 00:31:13,076
Speaker 2: to the pursuit of happiness what psychologists call the response phase,

570
00:31:13,436 --> 00:31:15,956
Speaker 2: we respond to and pass judgment on what it means

571
00:31:15,956 --> 00:31:17,396
Speaker 2: to be off track from our goal.

572
00:31:17,716 --> 00:31:22,996
Speaker 4: One very frequent reaction could be to ask ourselves, what

573
00:31:23,036 --> 00:31:26,236
Speaker 4: does it mean that I'm less happy than I want

574
00:31:26,276 --> 00:31:30,716
Speaker 4: to be? And really common answer is I think there's

575
00:31:30,756 --> 00:31:33,916
Speaker 4: something wrong with me because I'm less happy than I

576
00:31:33,956 --> 00:31:34,436
Speaker 4: want to be.

577
00:31:34,996 --> 00:31:37,516
Speaker 2: This is the step Iras says in which the paradoxical

578
00:31:37,516 --> 00:31:40,676
Speaker 2: effects of pursuing happiness creep in the most, in part

579
00:31:40,716 --> 00:31:43,676
Speaker 2: because it involves a lot of what she calls meta emotions.

580
00:31:43,956 --> 00:31:47,916
Speaker 4: So meta emotions are just emotions feelings that we have

581
00:31:48,196 --> 00:31:49,356
Speaker 4: about our feelings.

582
00:31:49,516 --> 00:31:50,516
Speaker 1: That's the meta part.

583
00:31:50,956 --> 00:31:52,956
Speaker 2: I'm guessing that even if you haven't heard the term

584
00:31:52,996 --> 00:31:58,876
Speaker 2: meta emotions, you're probably very familiar with them. Think judgment, shame, disappointment, frustration,

585
00:31:59,436 --> 00:32:01,796
Speaker 2: all the negative reactions you have when you don't feel

586
00:32:01,796 --> 00:32:04,596
Speaker 2: the way you want to feel. And Iris has found

587
00:32:04,636 --> 00:32:07,836
Speaker 2: that meta emotions explain a lot of the paradox of happiness.

588
00:32:08,276 --> 00:32:11,076
Speaker 2: In one study, she surveyed a group of participants about

589
00:32:11,076 --> 00:32:14,516
Speaker 2: how much they valued happiness. She then asked each subject

590
00:32:14,636 --> 00:32:16,796
Speaker 2: to keep a detailed diary of all the things that

591
00:32:16,876 --> 00:32:19,316
Speaker 2: happened to them throughout the day, and they told us

592
00:32:19,396 --> 00:32:24,236
Speaker 2: about the happiest event of their day for fourteen days,

593
00:32:24,676 --> 00:32:28,596
Speaker 2: and then we also asked them about their meta emotions.

594
00:32:29,116 --> 00:32:33,756
Speaker 2: How disappointed were you? How judging did you feel about

595
00:32:33,756 --> 00:32:38,156
Speaker 2: your own feelings? The subject's happiest moments included lots of

596
00:32:38,156 --> 00:32:41,676
Speaker 2: different positive events get togethers with friends and yummy meals

597
00:32:41,716 --> 00:32:44,996
Speaker 2: and birthday parties, But how much subjects enjoyed these good

598
00:32:44,996 --> 00:32:48,516
Speaker 2: events depended on how much they valued happiness. Subjects who

599
00:32:48,556 --> 00:32:51,236
Speaker 2: said they worried most about happiness were also the ones

600
00:32:51,236 --> 00:32:54,556
Speaker 2: who showed the most negative meta emotions during their happy events.

601
00:32:55,036 --> 00:32:58,916
Speaker 2: Those participants spent even the most positive moments feeling disappointed

602
00:32:59,036 --> 00:33:03,316
Speaker 2: and judgy. These results suggest overthinking in judgment can spoil

603
00:33:03,316 --> 00:33:06,476
Speaker 2: the very moments when happiness is most in reach. The

604
00:33:06,516 --> 00:33:09,356
Speaker 2: final part of goal pursuit isn't exactly a step person say,

605
00:33:09,716 --> 00:33:12,756
Speaker 2: but it's something Iris thinks is super important for understanding

606
00:33:12,796 --> 00:33:15,436
Speaker 2: where we go wrong when it comes to striving for happiness,

607
00:33:15,996 --> 00:33:18,516
Speaker 2: and that is the cultural context in which we find

608
00:33:18,556 --> 00:33:20,596
Speaker 2: ourselves whenever we're trying to pursue a goal.

609
00:33:21,196 --> 00:33:26,396
Speaker 4: Just like people have ideas about happiness, so do societies

610
00:33:26,436 --> 00:33:31,076
Speaker 4: and cultures, and that context is actually incredibly important. It

611
00:33:31,076 --> 00:33:35,636
Speaker 4: can really facilitate and take pressure off individuals, but it

612
00:33:35,676 --> 00:33:37,236
Speaker 4: can also work against them.

613
00:33:37,876 --> 00:33:41,556
Speaker 2: As a German immigrant currently living in Berkeley, California, Iras

614
00:33:41,596 --> 00:33:44,476
Speaker 2: has seen firsthand just how different two cultures can be

615
00:33:44,676 --> 00:33:46,356
Speaker 2: when it comes to the pursuit of happiness.

616
00:33:46,516 --> 00:33:48,116
Speaker 4: I mean, I've been here for a while, but I

617
00:33:48,156 --> 00:33:50,956
Speaker 4: still remember, sort of like when I first moved to

618
00:33:50,996 --> 00:33:54,116
Speaker 4: the US, and that was actually California, which might be

619
00:33:54,356 --> 00:33:58,476
Speaker 4: a special relationship to the pursuit of happiness within a

620
00:33:58,516 --> 00:34:01,476
Speaker 4: country that has a pretty special relationship to the pursuit

621
00:34:01,516 --> 00:34:04,876
Speaker 4: of happiness. It's small things, but I remember the first

622
00:34:04,956 --> 00:34:10,916
Speaker 4: time somebody said to me enjoy, I just noted that.

623
00:34:10,916 --> 00:34:14,716
Speaker 4: That struck me as almost a little bit funny. It's

624
00:34:14,756 --> 00:34:18,516
Speaker 4: that notion that number one, it's important to enjoy, which

625
00:34:18,596 --> 00:34:22,276
Speaker 4: is a little bit suspect to a German, but also

626
00:34:22,356 --> 00:34:25,276
Speaker 4: number two that it's very much in your control, you're

627
00:34:25,316 --> 00:34:26,316
Speaker 4: going to make it happen.

628
00:34:27,076 --> 00:34:30,276
Speaker 2: And Iris's observations about these cultural differences have been born

629
00:34:30,316 --> 00:34:31,036
Speaker 2: out by research.

630
00:34:31,396 --> 00:34:37,276
Speaker 4: There's actually a really lovely systematic study by a psychologist

631
00:34:37,316 --> 00:34:44,076
Speaker 4: named Burget Copenholm which she compared systematically American and German

632
00:34:44,796 --> 00:34:50,596
Speaker 4: attitudes toward emotions, and she analyzed condolence cards that people

633
00:34:50,636 --> 00:34:53,636
Speaker 4: send if somebody has lost a loved one. Both of

634
00:34:53,676 --> 00:34:58,916
Speaker 4: them acknowledged grief and loss and mourning, of course, but

635
00:34:58,996 --> 00:35:03,876
Speaker 4: the American condolence cards would also highlight an element of

636
00:35:03,916 --> 00:35:07,956
Speaker 4: a silver lining. They would say something like I hope

637
00:35:07,956 --> 00:35:12,156
Speaker 4: you find comfort and so forth, so some positivity coming

638
00:35:12,236 --> 00:35:16,716
Speaker 4: back in, whereas the German condolence cards would like all

639
00:35:16,796 --> 00:35:20,196
Speaker 4: the way lean into the morning with phrases like in

640
00:35:20,316 --> 00:35:24,956
Speaker 4: deepest sadness and tista traua, and there was no element

641
00:35:25,356 --> 00:35:31,156
Speaker 4: of a silver lining. There is something more important to

642
00:35:31,356 --> 00:35:36,796
Speaker 4: happiness in American culture, and were a little bit more

643
00:35:38,316 --> 00:35:44,436
Speaker 4: tolerant or embracing of sadness and unhappiness in German culture.

644
00:35:45,036 --> 00:35:46,196
Speaker 1: So let's recap.

645
00:35:46,516 --> 00:35:48,916
Speaker 2: Iris argues that to understand where we go wrong in

646
00:35:48,916 --> 00:35:51,476
Speaker 2: the pursuit of happiness, we need to understand the steps

647
00:35:51,516 --> 00:35:54,476
Speaker 2: our minds take during any goal pursuit. And those four

648
00:35:54,516 --> 00:35:57,796
Speaker 2: steps are setting a goal, regulating your affect to meet

649
00:35:57,796 --> 00:36:01,036
Speaker 2: that goal, monitoring how you did, and then responding as

650
00:36:01,116 --> 00:36:03,956
Speaker 2: needed if you got off track. And that entire process

651
00:36:03,956 --> 00:36:07,116
Speaker 2: of goal pursuit is embedded within a particular cultural context,

652
00:36:07,116 --> 00:36:10,276
Speaker 2: which can make the process easier or harder. So where

653
00:36:10,276 --> 00:36:12,036
Speaker 2: do we go wrong when it comes to these steps.

654
00:36:12,436 --> 00:36:16,156
Speaker 2: Sometimes it's during affec regulation we preemptively shut off our

655
00:36:16,196 --> 00:36:19,916
Speaker 2: negative emotions, which prevent us from connecting with others. Sometimes

656
00:36:19,916 --> 00:36:22,516
Speaker 2: it's in the monitoring step, we get so obsessed with

657
00:36:22,596 --> 00:36:25,556
Speaker 2: asking ourselves if we're feeling happy that we pull ourselves

658
00:36:25,556 --> 00:36:27,916
Speaker 2: out of the present moment. And sometimes it's in that

659
00:36:27,996 --> 00:36:31,436
Speaker 2: final response phase when we get stuck judging whatever experience

660
00:36:31,476 --> 00:36:34,716
Speaker 2: we're having with lots of nasty meta emotions. And if

661
00:36:34,756 --> 00:36:37,676
Speaker 2: all these steps happen in a culture that heavily emphasizes

662
00:36:37,716 --> 00:36:40,596
Speaker 2: how happy we should be, that demands we enjoy and

663
00:36:40,676 --> 00:36:43,316
Speaker 2: find silver linings all the time, that can make it

664
00:36:43,316 --> 00:36:45,916
Speaker 2: hard not to feel bad about ourselves whenever we fall

665
00:36:45,956 --> 00:36:48,996
Speaker 2: short of expectations. So that's what we get wrong when

666
00:36:48,996 --> 00:36:51,276
Speaker 2: it comes to our goal pursuit of happiness. But is

667
00:36:51,316 --> 00:36:54,596
Speaker 2: there a way we can engage in that pursuit more effectively. Well,

668
00:36:54,716 --> 00:36:57,316
Speaker 2: we'll find out when the Happiness Lab returns from this

669
00:36:57,396 --> 00:37:09,956
Speaker 2: quick break. Psychologist Iris Mouse has her career trying to

670
00:37:10,036 --> 00:37:12,716
Speaker 2: understand what we get wrong in our quest for happiness.

671
00:37:13,116 --> 00:37:15,916
Speaker 2: Before the break, she explained the science of goal pursuit

672
00:37:16,156 --> 00:37:17,916
Speaker 2: and where we tend to go wrong when it comes

673
00:37:17,916 --> 00:37:21,196
Speaker 2: to the four steps of pursuing happiness. Now that we're back,

674
00:37:21,356 --> 00:37:23,516
Speaker 2: I've asked Iris to teach us what the same science

675
00:37:23,556 --> 00:37:26,516
Speaker 2: shows about how we can do better. Her first piece

676
00:37:26,516 --> 00:37:30,116
Speaker 2: of advice involves a more effective way of handling affect regulation.

677
00:37:30,956 --> 00:37:34,276
Speaker 2: Rather than trying to suppress and avoid negative emotions, Iras

678
00:37:34,276 --> 00:37:37,996
Speaker 2: says we should focus on the positive by intentionally engaging

679
00:37:38,076 --> 00:37:39,836
Speaker 2: and happier activities.

680
00:37:39,476 --> 00:37:44,396
Speaker 4: And this idea of prioritizing positivity was introduced by a

681
00:37:44,436 --> 00:37:48,276
Speaker 4: research or named Lana Cadalino and I mention the positive

682
00:37:48,316 --> 00:37:51,556
Speaker 4: activities because it's really about the things that you do

683
00:37:52,036 --> 00:37:56,116
Speaker 4: so you're less in your mind and you're actually able

684
00:37:56,196 --> 00:38:00,756
Speaker 4: to just live your life. It's structuring your days to

685
00:38:00,876 --> 00:38:04,236
Speaker 4: make it more likely that you're going to have positive

686
00:38:04,356 --> 00:38:05,876
Speaker 4: things happening to you.

687
00:38:06,716 --> 00:38:08,756
Speaker 2: Another spot where Iras says we can do better is

688
00:38:08,836 --> 00:38:11,396
Speaker 2: during in the act of monitoring those moments when we

689
00:38:11,436 --> 00:38:12,756
Speaker 2: ask ourselves, am I happyiet?

690
00:38:12,796 --> 00:38:13,356
Speaker 1: Am I happy?

691
00:38:13,396 --> 00:38:15,956
Speaker 2: Yet? Iris has found that we can monitor in a

692
00:38:15,996 --> 00:38:19,196
Speaker 2: healthy way if we use different questions like what went

693
00:38:19,236 --> 00:38:21,676
Speaker 2: well today or what are some things that I enjoyed.

694
00:38:22,236 --> 00:38:28,316
Speaker 4: Savoring is the idea of paying attention thinking about positive,

695
00:38:28,556 --> 00:38:31,516
Speaker 4: pleasurable experiences that we've had.

696
00:38:32,236 --> 00:38:33,196
Speaker 1: So basically, if.

697
00:38:33,196 --> 00:38:38,236
Speaker 4: You're once in a while checking in with what experiences

698
00:38:39,036 --> 00:38:42,876
Speaker 4: you have in your life and how they contribute to

699
00:38:43,436 --> 00:38:46,876
Speaker 4: making your life better overall, that's actually okay, and it

700
00:38:46,916 --> 00:38:49,236
Speaker 4: actually predicts greater happiness.

701
00:38:50,116 --> 00:38:52,636
Speaker 2: A third change we can make while pursuing happiness is

702
00:38:52,676 --> 00:38:55,836
Speaker 2: in that final response phase. Rather than judging how off

703
00:38:55,876 --> 00:39:00,796
Speaker 2: track you've gotten, Iris recommends embracing what researchers call radical acceptance,

704
00:39:01,276 --> 00:39:04,756
Speaker 2: the act of non judgmentally accepting your current situation just

705
00:39:04,836 --> 00:39:05,316
Speaker 2: as it is.

706
00:39:05,556 --> 00:39:08,156
Speaker 4: And people have pointed this out for a long time.

707
00:39:08,236 --> 00:39:15,196
Speaker 4: There's Buddhists, notions of mindfulness, there's acceptance and commitment therapy,

708
00:39:16,076 --> 00:39:20,476
Speaker 4: one of the core active ingredients of which is emotional acceptance,

709
00:39:21,036 --> 00:39:24,276
Speaker 4: and those things bring people greater happiness.

710
00:39:24,756 --> 00:39:27,916
Speaker 2: But the most important recommendation Iris has for pursuing happiness

711
00:39:27,916 --> 00:39:31,236
Speaker 2: more effectively is a suggestion I'm pretty sure Jefferson and

712
00:39:31,276 --> 00:39:34,316
Speaker 2: our forefathers would be proud of. We need to rethink

713
00:39:34,356 --> 00:39:37,116
Speaker 2: the particular kind of happiness we're trying to pursue.

714
00:39:37,236 --> 00:39:40,516
Speaker 4: There's sort of like two types of happiness that we distinguish.

715
00:39:40,916 --> 00:39:45,556
Speaker 4: One that's more about feeling good, hedonic happiness, and the

716
00:39:45,596 --> 00:39:49,876
Speaker 4: other that's more about leading a good life, sometimes called

717
00:39:49,956 --> 00:39:55,356
Speaker 4: you dimonic happiness, and that happiness helps us avoid some

718
00:39:55,516 --> 00:39:59,316
Speaker 4: of the pitfalls that we fall into when we're single

719
00:39:59,436 --> 00:40:03,436
Speaker 4: mindedly focused on the more headonic aspects of happiness.

720
00:40:04,556 --> 00:40:07,356
Speaker 2: New research has observed a bunch of reasons that pursuing

721
00:40:07,396 --> 00:40:10,676
Speaker 2: that virtuous you dimonic happen weepiness feels better than going

722
00:40:10,716 --> 00:40:14,196
Speaker 2: after personal pleasure. First, lots of studies have shown that

723
00:40:14,236 --> 00:40:17,236
Speaker 2: focusing on other people's happiness tends to make us feel

724
00:40:17,236 --> 00:40:20,076
Speaker 2: better than focusing on our own. There's also evidence that

725
00:40:20,116 --> 00:40:22,116
Speaker 2: the good feelings we get from doing nice things for

726
00:40:22,196 --> 00:40:24,756
Speaker 2: others tends to stick around longer than the boost we

727
00:40:24,796 --> 00:40:28,516
Speaker 2: get from selfish actions. Psychologists have long known that hedonic

728
00:40:28,556 --> 00:40:32,636
Speaker 2: pleasure is subject to what's called hedonic adaptation, the tendency

729
00:40:32,676 --> 00:40:35,156
Speaker 2: for good feelings to go back to baseline after a

730
00:40:35,156 --> 00:40:38,116
Speaker 2: positive event, but studies show that we tend to adapt

731
00:40:38,276 --> 00:40:41,196
Speaker 2: less quickly to the positive feelings we get from actions

732
00:40:41,196 --> 00:40:44,676
Speaker 2: that benefit other people. Kindness just isn't a subject to

733
00:40:44,716 --> 00:40:46,476
Speaker 2: hedonic adaptation, which is.

734
00:40:46,556 --> 00:40:47,156
Speaker 1: Kind of cool.

735
00:40:47,756 --> 00:40:50,796
Speaker 2: Finally, research shows that we tend to have more realistic

736
00:40:50,836 --> 00:40:54,796
Speaker 2: expectations about how good we'll feel after purposeful activities than

737
00:40:54,836 --> 00:40:58,316
Speaker 2: hedonic ones, which means that seeking out you diimonic goals

738
00:40:58,636 --> 00:41:02,436
Speaker 2: leads to less judgy meta emotions than going after hedonic pursuits.

739
00:41:03,156 --> 00:41:06,556
Speaker 4: It's a pretty young area of research, but we're beginning

740
00:41:06,596 --> 00:41:11,156
Speaker 4: to see the people who see happiness more in terms

741
00:41:11,196 --> 00:41:17,596
Speaker 4: of these eudaemonic virtue, value based, pro social based aspects

742
00:41:17,996 --> 00:41:24,236
Speaker 4: tend to be more likely to achieve lasting and sustainable

743
00:41:24,316 --> 00:41:30,436
Speaker 4: happiness compare to people who predominantly see happiness in more

744
00:41:30,516 --> 00:41:34,996
Speaker 4: howdonic terms. Now, I really want to emphasize something that

745
00:41:35,756 --> 00:41:40,316
Speaker 4: I find really important and interesting, and sometimes we sort

746
00:41:40,316 --> 00:41:43,476
Speaker 4: of jump to the conclusion that those two types of

747
00:41:43,516 --> 00:41:47,076
Speaker 4: happiness are sort of mutually exclusive, like you're either going

748
00:41:47,116 --> 00:41:51,556
Speaker 4: to be miserable but super virtuous or kind of like

749
00:41:51,636 --> 00:41:57,476
Speaker 4: the happy pig that Socrates talked about, And psychological research

750
00:41:57,556 --> 00:42:03,076
Speaker 4: actually indicates that that's not the case. They can be distinct.

751
00:42:03,196 --> 00:42:07,356
Speaker 4: You can pull those two aspects of happiness apart, but

752
00:42:07,596 --> 00:42:14,156
Speaker 4: usually they coincide. So having a value driven life also

753
00:42:14,396 --> 00:42:16,876
Speaker 4: feels good to people. And I think that's a really

754
00:42:16,956 --> 00:42:22,076
Speaker 4: lovely and hopeful conclusion, that you don't have to choose

755
00:42:22,196 --> 00:42:23,476
Speaker 4: between one.

756
00:42:23,476 --> 00:42:25,036
Speaker 1: Or the other. Hmm.

757
00:42:25,636 --> 00:42:28,356
Speaker 2: Iris's hopeful idea that you don't need to choose between

758
00:42:28,356 --> 00:42:32,316
Speaker 2: personal pleasure and the public good seems suspiciously similar to

759
00:42:32,356 --> 00:42:34,876
Speaker 2: what the forefathers were trying to tell us two hundred

760
00:42:34,876 --> 00:42:38,436
Speaker 2: and fifty years ago. To paraphrase Jefferson, if happiness is

761
00:42:38,476 --> 00:42:41,316
Speaker 2: our aim in life, then virtue is the foundation through

762
00:42:41,356 --> 00:42:42,116
Speaker 2: which we achieve it.

763
00:42:42,436 --> 00:42:46,076
Speaker 3: Happiness is not just about pleasure, pain calculus, although it's

764
00:42:46,076 --> 00:42:48,956
Speaker 3: about that as well, but it's also about crafting and

765
00:42:48,996 --> 00:42:50,396
Speaker 3: cultivating a life.

766
00:42:50,636 --> 00:42:53,836
Speaker 2: Could returning to that eighteenth century notion of happiness that

767
00:42:53,916 --> 00:42:57,196
Speaker 2: it necessarily involves both the personal good and the public

768
00:42:57,236 --> 00:43:00,116
Speaker 2: good be the key to pursuing the good life more effectively.

769
00:43:00,756 --> 00:43:04,436
Speaker 2: Historian Darren McMahon thinks so. In fact, Darren says that

770
00:43:04,476 --> 00:43:07,556
Speaker 2: this same solution to our faulty pursuit of happiness was

771
00:43:07,596 --> 00:43:10,756
Speaker 2: proposed over two hundred years go by the scholar who

772
00:43:10,836 --> 00:43:13,756
Speaker 2: first observed the paradox at the heart of this week's

773
00:43:13,756 --> 00:43:16,916
Speaker 2: Happiness hot take. The og critic of our country's pursuit

774
00:43:16,916 --> 00:43:19,756
Speaker 2: of happiness, Alexis to Tokeville.

775
00:43:19,356 --> 00:43:21,196
Speaker 3: Topfil is critical in some ways, but he's also a

776
00:43:21,236 --> 00:43:24,156
Speaker 3: great admirer in America, There's just no question about that.

777
00:43:24,636 --> 00:43:27,756
Speaker 3: And he's constantly looking for ways that this experiment can

778
00:43:27,796 --> 00:43:29,716
Speaker 3: be preserved. And he has this wonderful phrase where he

779
00:43:29,756 --> 00:43:33,236
Speaker 3: says that Americans are good at what he calls self

780
00:43:33,316 --> 00:43:34,996
Speaker 3: interest rightly understood.

781
00:43:35,476 --> 00:43:37,956
Speaker 2: Tokeville noticed that even though the citizens of our new

782
00:43:37,996 --> 00:43:41,916
Speaker 2: republic had a passion for material pleasures, they still understood,

783
00:43:42,036 --> 00:43:44,516
Speaker 2: as he put it, when to sacrifice some of their

784
00:43:44,556 --> 00:43:47,876
Speaker 2: private interests to save the rest. They still had what

785
00:43:47,996 --> 00:43:51,396
Speaker 2: he called an enlightened regard for themselves, which could prompt

786
00:43:51,436 --> 00:43:54,956
Speaker 2: them to assist one another and the state. Tokeville ended

787
00:43:54,956 --> 00:43:58,836
Speaker 2: his historic visit still feeling hopeful that future Americans would

788
00:43:58,836 --> 00:44:02,596
Speaker 2: discover what the forefathers knew well and what modern psychological

789
00:44:02,676 --> 00:44:06,156
Speaker 2: science has now shown so clearly, that feeling good is

790
00:44:06,196 --> 00:44:09,276
Speaker 2: deeply intertwined with doing good, and he sees.

791
00:44:09,156 --> 00:44:11,876
Speaker 3: In the eighteen thirty still a great deal of that

792
00:44:12,036 --> 00:44:14,836
Speaker 3: around him, and he has confidence in some ways that

793
00:44:14,916 --> 00:44:18,836
Speaker 3: this will preserve America and the American experiment. I'm not

794
00:44:18,876 --> 00:44:21,316
Speaker 3: sure if you were with us today, you know how

795
00:44:21,356 --> 00:44:23,916
Speaker 3: optimistic Key would be. I think he would see, like

796
00:44:23,956 --> 00:44:27,916
Speaker 3: we all do, the kind of visceration of that daimonic side,

797
00:44:28,276 --> 00:44:31,756
Speaker 3: the evisceration of the link that the founder saw profoundly

798
00:44:31,836 --> 00:44:34,996
Speaker 3: between the pursuit of individual happiness and the pursuit of

799
00:44:35,076 --> 00:44:39,116
Speaker 3: social happiness, the recognition that those two go together, and

800
00:44:39,156 --> 00:44:41,916
Speaker 3: that ultimate divorce I think would really worry toke Phil

801
00:44:41,956 --> 00:44:43,116
Speaker 3: as it worries many of us.

802
00:44:43,916 --> 00:44:46,996
Speaker 2: Like Darren, I am pretty worried about this ultimate divorce

803
00:44:47,436 --> 00:44:51,156
Speaker 2: that people today don't always remember this important connection between

804
00:44:51,196 --> 00:44:55,236
Speaker 2: the pursuit of individual happiness and the pursuit of social good. Well,

805
00:44:55,316 --> 00:44:59,036
Speaker 2: like Tokville, observing our American experiment back in the nineteenth century,

806
00:44:59,516 --> 00:45:01,756
Speaker 2: I still think there's lots of reason for hope, and

807
00:45:01,836 --> 00:45:03,996
Speaker 2: that's why I was so excited to share this week's

808
00:45:03,996 --> 00:45:07,396
Speaker 2: happiness hot take that the pursuit of happiness, at least

809
00:45:07,396 --> 00:45:08,196
Speaker 2: as we tend to do.

810
00:45:08,156 --> 00:45:09,636
Speaker 1: It today, is a bet idea.

811
00:45:10,316 --> 00:45:12,996
Speaker 2: We assume that the pursuit of happiness is all about us,

812
00:45:13,356 --> 00:45:16,476
Speaker 2: that hedonic pleasure is the path to feeling good. We

813
00:45:16,516 --> 00:45:18,836
Speaker 2: also get wrapped up in this idea that we're supposed

814
00:45:18,876 --> 00:45:21,396
Speaker 2: to feel happy, that our pursuits of the good life

815
00:45:21,436 --> 00:45:24,276
Speaker 2: are supposed to succeed, and when they don't, we tend

816
00:45:24,316 --> 00:45:26,996
Speaker 2: to freak out about what went wrong and judge ourselves

817
00:45:26,996 --> 00:45:30,196
Speaker 2: with lots of painful meta emotions. But the science shows

818
00:45:30,236 --> 00:45:34,076
Speaker 2: that a healthier, more effective pursuit of happiness requires acknowledging

819
00:45:34,156 --> 00:45:37,036
Speaker 2: what our forefathers knew so well that we have an

820
00:45:37,156 --> 00:45:40,636
Speaker 2: unalienable right to strive for happiness, but not necessarily to

821
00:45:40,716 --> 00:45:43,116
Speaker 2: obtain it, and that our pursuit will go a lot

822
00:45:43,156 --> 00:45:46,796
Speaker 2: better if we remember that cultivating other people's happiness is

823
00:45:46,836 --> 00:45:50,116
Speaker 2: the most effective path to achieving it for ourselves. So,

824
00:45:50,236 --> 00:45:53,356
Speaker 2: on this two hundred and fiftieth birthday of the American Experiment,

825
00:45:53,836 --> 00:45:56,316
Speaker 2: an experiment that I really hope will still be going

826
00:45:56,316 --> 00:45:59,276
Speaker 2: strong two hundred and fifty years from now, I hope

827
00:45:59,276 --> 00:46:01,916
Speaker 2: that all my listeners will take this week's Happiness hot

828
00:46:01,916 --> 00:46:04,996
Speaker 2: Take to heart and embrace the kind of happiness that

829
00:46:05,116 --> 00:46:08,356
Speaker 2: really is worth pursuing. And since I wanted to share

830
00:46:08,396 --> 00:46:11,156
Speaker 2: something extra special for my listeners in honor of fourth

831
00:46:11,196 --> 00:46:14,396
Speaker 2: of July this year, I'll be continuing my conversation with

832
00:46:14,476 --> 00:46:18,676
Speaker 2: happiness historian Darren McMahon next week, but next time he'll

833
00:46:18,716 --> 00:46:21,916
Speaker 2: be interviewing me. You'll get to hear the conversation I

834
00:46:21,956 --> 00:46:24,796
Speaker 2: had with Darren at his home institution at Dartmouth College

835
00:46:25,156 --> 00:46:28,156
Speaker 2: as part of the Nelson A. Rockefeller Center at Dartmouth's

836
00:46:28,276 --> 00:46:32,156
Speaker 2: Public Conversations on the Pursuit of Happiness. That's all next

837
00:46:32,156 --> 00:46:35,436
Speaker 2: time on the Happiness Lab with me, Doctor Laurie Santos