Speaker 1: A black man who came into some money. I know
Speaker 1: you have some hats. Yeah, I know you have some hat.
Speaker 2: I'm not even had, guy, I got some. Yeah, ask
Speaker 2: me not to wear a bomber or some sneakers during
Speaker 2: my special. I'm a black man who came with some money.
Speaker 2: So I got a bunch of my husband. He would
Speaker 2: take so many times in and out of the cart
Speaker 2: in her park, all the time. You wake up there
Speaker 2: in the car. I remember doing this, David.
Speaker 3: You talked about this, David, David, David, David, you're a singan.
Speaker 4: Chips in yours racist money turning stuff.
Speaker 2: I can't tell me.
Speaker 1: Last night I was inside of you last night, making
Speaker 1: luck to you. I saw the sun, the moon, the
Speaker 1: mountains and the rivers. I saw heaven when I made
Speaker 1: sweet love to you. Welcome little mamas and gentiles alike
Speaker 1: to another phenomenal episode of My Mama Told Me.
Speaker 2: God Damn, the podcast where we dive deep, deep into
Speaker 2: the pockets of black conspiracy theories.
Speaker 1: And we finally we don't actually we don't. We're not
Speaker 1: proving anything. This isn't that kind of podcast.
Speaker 2: If you came here for proof, Bloyd, do I got
Speaker 2: bad news.
Speaker 1: This is so one thing I'm fresh out of y'all.
Speaker 2: Keep you know what.
Speaker 3: They keep asking for proof of the things that we're saying,
Speaker 3: as if every time.
Speaker 2: We don't tell them ahead of time. Hey, we don't
Speaker 2: have proof of the things we're saying.
Speaker 1: I mean, I think the nerds have been coming at
Speaker 1: our head for the last couple of weeks. They're really
Speaker 1: mad at us, and we're feeling that. And what I
Speaker 1: have to say you nerds is sorry, my bad bird,
Speaker 1: I didn't. I only see the matrix want to honey,
Speaker 1: I'll be honest.
Speaker 3: My only Transformers is that is him running with with
Speaker 3: Shilah buff back when he was a white child. I
Speaker 3: have no other framing for it. I was just saying stuff.
Speaker 3: I like the ones with their animals, So I didn't
Speaker 3: even that's what I like. I remember a raptor in
Speaker 3: there and it was cool, but I couldn't tell you
Speaker 3: his name.
Speaker 2: I like it, Yeah, I like you used to have
Speaker 2: it before school. You can jump in behind these Warsicionado,
Speaker 2: you're talking about air Raiser. That was a girl. She
Speaker 2: fell in love with the white tiger. They died together,
Speaker 2: had a baby, which was this like no with Timberwolf
Speaker 2: it's actually she fell in love with the wolf and
Speaker 2: then they had like a combined form. It was like
Speaker 2: the wolf with wings. Yeah, I hate that.
Speaker 3: I was talking and thank thank you for pointing that out.
Speaker 3: The Powers that Be I was talking about the one
Speaker 3: that was a trader to the DECEPTICONO.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Was he like joined the Maximals predics and the
Speaker 2: maxim the animal ProTem Yeah, it was. You know a
Speaker 2: previous episode, Langton did diagnose me with a little bit
Speaker 2: of tears. I'm tissed up, you know, and I stand
Speaker 2: on it and he's not wrong me me saying me
Speaker 2: correcting him on Maximals and Predacons. Yeah, you ever you
Speaker 2: have a rich Nerd memory. Yeah, yeah, that has to
Speaker 2: be diagnosed. That came to me early. My husband, He's
Speaker 2: like anniversary. I was like, it's coming July. Do you
Speaker 2: want me to remember? Just make you I go way
Speaker 2: back with him with with Megatron as a t red,
Speaker 2: as a purple he was Barney Matron was a purple
Speaker 2: t reck when no one made a Barney joke and.
Speaker 1: Was a Trana source wrecks. It feels like a terrible move.
Speaker 2: In hindsight, he got the Veneers. That's why you didn't
Speaker 2: know he does. Got Barney got the leaks. It's like
Speaker 2: Barney got the leak. Yeah, he got the consequences in
Speaker 2: the back like Michael hey brother at this ain't the
Speaker 2: time of the Blade many I Love You, You Love.
Speaker 1: Me was the only good teeth of that show Baby
Speaker 1: Bob had. Those were bad baby.
Speaker 2: I didn't think baby baby.
Speaker 1: Because they were well there they were baby was a baby.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but I think they were herbivores.
Speaker 1: They were baby baby, baby, baby baby baby baby by
Speaker 1: They were right right.
Speaker 2: You didn't feel like I like the idea.
Speaker 1: You didn't feel like they were a horror dinosaurs.
Speaker 2: And was what wait, I thought you meant younger? You
Speaker 2: thought baby bo what you thought baby would be affected
Speaker 2: by the snap benefits being cut? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Did you guys not feel that way?
Speaker 2: No, But now I get why you say that. It
Speaker 2: makes a lot of sense. She didn't have no clothes on.
Speaker 1: She didn't have clothes on. She was she was unwatched.
Speaker 1: She was too old to be talking like that, that's true.
Speaker 1: She she was like older than a baby, but she
Speaker 1: was talking like a baby, which makes me.
Speaker 2: Feel like And we called bjbj her brother. And they
Speaker 2: had different daddies because they were different from colors. They
Speaker 2: weren't even the same species. Ye Ye didn't like how
Speaker 2: you pointed at me, Really don't. I still really don't
Speaker 2: love the associations BJ a third tier dinosaur. It was dinosaurs.
Speaker 3: I'm not particularly cool on what's happening here, but I
Speaker 3: do respect.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think baby Bob was probably going through some
Speaker 2: stuff at home. She was never invited there.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 2: She always just showed up and they'd be like, oh, ship,
Speaker 2: baby Bob, know what it is. You know the house
Speaker 2: that always has kids in it? That was the house. Yeah,
Speaker 2: because those all the kids that were with Barney. He
Speaker 2: was telling to clean up. So Barney was running daycare center.
Speaker 2: Baby boy, she had to be there because you know,
Speaker 2: her mama was picking up all the time. He would
Speaker 2: sometimes come because he's an older brother. We gotta walk home, honey. Yeah,
Speaker 2: is that dinner? That's dinner?
Speaker 1: Yeah, because home is hard.
Speaker 2: It's hard.
Speaker 1: A bunch of others Barney, Yeah, he's got a bunch
Speaker 1: of like, he's got a bunch of velociraptors trying to
Speaker 1: make him go bodies.
Speaker 2: To teach you about a gang. Yeah, he goes over
Speaker 2: there testing the walls. Clever girl that's really sad. Yeah,
Speaker 2: it's it's.
Speaker 3: A tragic story when you unpack most of these these programs.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I always because like any kids program, I always
Speaker 1: am like that dirty kids going through it.
Speaker 2: Oh, okay, to right, that's not good. No, that's a sad.
Speaker 2: One problem with the Peanuts. It was interesting that even
Speaker 2: though they had a dirty child, you still were like, well,
Speaker 2: I'm checking on Franklin. Everything okay with Franklin him, he's
Speaker 2: on the side of the table by himself. He chose
Speaker 2: to sit next to pig Pin rather than sit next
Speaker 2: to Franklin. Well on the other side of the table.
Speaker 1: Well, you know, nobody talks about they bust Franklin.
Speaker 2: In whoa Okay, I thought you camp talk.
Speaker 1: They call it it's integration. Charlie Brown, Shorty.
Speaker 2: Get loose football.
Speaker 6: She changes the sun on therapy, say no if you
Speaker 6: need help about some of the changes that are happening
Speaker 6: around here.
Speaker 2: But yeah, yeah, no, Lucy does just become a Tim
Speaker 2: Dillons podcaster. Oh yeah, Lucy.
Speaker 1: Lucy makes you feel like it's the end of the world.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, the way she like the way in the
Speaker 1: way the same way that he makes me feel that way,
Speaker 1: like Lucy just like she flies. No, there's nothing. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean I see that she just keeps taking that football. Yeah,
Speaker 1: like that's nuts.
Speaker 2: She takes the football and I think, what, what really
Speaker 2: is the most football kicker?
Speaker 5: Like that?
Speaker 2: And she she also calls him blockhead.
Speaker 3: She calls him blockhead. But then she spends the entire
Speaker 3: show pretending as if she is the moral compass for
Speaker 3: the group. Yea, like her whole ship is being like,
Speaker 3: I'm clearly the best leader here.
Speaker 1: And yeah, why which is where we're right now? We
Speaker 1: were talking about she just saying ship that's trumpet, Lucy.
Speaker 2: Oh my god? Is the therapist? So imagine if your
Speaker 2: therapist behaved that way? Why are you getting bullied by
Speaker 2: your therapist with your therapyr cope with five cents? Though? Yeah,
Speaker 2: but you gotta scale that. It was the seventies. He
Speaker 2: was a child. He couldn't even understand his parents, much
Speaker 2: less know money. Yeah all the time?
Speaker 1: Am I crazy for thinking this was his dad?
Speaker 2: Of Barbara? Why do I think that if Charlie Brown's
Speaker 2: dad was a barber, that's that was the most depressive
Speaker 2: because he was so that's fucked up.
Speaker 1: Maybe I'm putting on.
Speaker 2: The Charlie Brown's barber just spreading nasty conspiracies. Brown Barber
Speaker 2: just would be like, I'm a move these three.
Speaker 1: I mean, Charlie would have really it would have been
Speaker 1: good if he had had Beijing or enhancements.
Speaker 2: That's a Charlie brown En hands Smith's. He definitely needed something. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I okay. When I was in Tuscaloosa, that's when the
Speaker 2: enhancements like dropped around around, like twenty thirteen, twenty twelve enhancements,
Speaker 2: because that's when they were doing it without asking you.
Speaker 2: They believe I'm gonna just and you go, whoa, what's that? Oh?
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm just yeah, I'm gonna give you that.
Speaker 3: They start pulling that card out and you're like, hold on,
Speaker 3: play boy, wait a minute.
Speaker 1: Have you ever seen when they have the visor and
Speaker 1: the gun, it's like the whole visor and then they airbrush.
Speaker 3: That's the one that hurts my feelings the most. Yeah,
Speaker 3: that one is when they're like, bro, I'm gonna need
Speaker 3: a whole system to fix what they say, Yeah at
Speaker 3: that point.
Speaker 2: Get the roller y Yeah.
Speaker 1: Well it it's like something I'd like to do with
Speaker 1: home away from other people.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't want you to show everybody, but every
Speaker 2: I mean everyone is like I mean, everyone is doing
Speaker 2: them now right.
Speaker 1: I'm still I'm still all natural.
Speaker 2: I'm not doing it. But I see so many people
Speaker 2: that have kind of like they do the enhancements, they
Speaker 2: do the chalk, they do the outline.
Speaker 3: I will say that crazy that on sets they do
Speaker 3: it and you don't really get a saying yeah, yeah, I.
Speaker 1: Mean like they want. That's the one time I've done it.
Speaker 2: Maybe feeling they be feeling in my eyebrows? Are you okay?
Speaker 5: Yeah?
Speaker 2: All right.
Speaker 1: I don't like that because they're showing you problems you
Speaker 1: didn't feel like you had.
Speaker 2: I didn't come in thinking about this. I didn't roll
Speaker 2: up to set and go to crafty thing. Yeah. But
Speaker 2: now I'm in the make up chair and she goes,
Speaker 2: you want me to do this? You started already, you
Speaker 2: did want Yeah. I can't just I can't look inquisitive.
Speaker 2: You've already snatched half my soul. Go ahead, finish looking
Speaker 2: like a teen. He isn't making out on public transportation're
Speaker 2: talking about I read through pencilvan eyebrows.
Speaker 1: Yea.
Speaker 2: Also people, Yeah, so musical, so musical, guess our guest today.
Speaker 2: I don't know we we have to intro. Yeah, we
Speaker 2: have to do an intro.
Speaker 3: I guess today we couldn't be more excited he's here.
Speaker 3: It was a tight squeeze. Yes, this motherfucker's busy, got
Speaker 3: ship going on.
Speaker 2: I got a podcast before this. I'm probably gonna do
Speaker 2: one afterwards. I had to come through the brother tell
Speaker 2: about us. Brother, Me and Hamm are gonna get to
Speaker 2: the bottom of all of it. He keeps saying, y'all,
Speaker 2: I don't know, but I think the government's bad and
Speaker 2: it breaks my heart.
Speaker 1: Brother, those are just your friends.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I know, man, Yeah, sometimes that happens. People hurt you.
Speaker 2: That man said, who's listen, I'm gonna find out who's
Speaker 2: killing all these Palestinian children after my dinner with a Vanka,
Speaker 2: after I get done eating with Jared and Avanka, I'm
Speaker 2: gonna find out who's been killing these precious brown But I'm.
Speaker 7: Gonna have a fine meal. Yeah, and then I'm gonna
Speaker 7: start doing some independent googling.
Speaker 2: Man said I think there's someone behind all this, and
Speaker 2: then posted the that is crazy man. Our guess today
Speaker 2: is not crazy. He's not crazy.
Speaker 3: I'm a little bit he might be a little crazy.
Speaker 3: We're excited that he's here. He has a brand new
Speaker 3: Hulu special available for you now. We could not be
Speaker 3: more excited. Go watch, yes, ma'am on Hulu. Give it up,
Speaker 3: Jay Jorden, y'all.
Speaker 2: Would not at all. No, but I'm a dog. He's
Speaker 2: as black as can be.
Speaker 8: That's what you asked us to play, right, my dog,
Speaker 8: my dog because it's black as can be. Yeah, yes, ma'am.
Speaker 2: I think it ties in to ma mama told me
Speaker 2: because when my mama told me something, I said, yes, ma'am,
Speaker 2: happy to do the pod. I love having wake up
Speaker 2: every time we're together.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I said, thank you for having us.
Speaker 2: Work. Yeah, you know what it is is all I
Speaker 2: had to was that intro, and I had no other
Speaker 2: plans for today. Well the intro was I love dogs. Okay, good, Yeah, dude,
Speaker 2: I love I Do you wanna you want to offer
Speaker 2: some push back? A lot of people they think black
Speaker 2: folks don't love their dog.
Speaker 1: Brothers are filled. I think it's because and this is
Speaker 1: and you okay, you can attest to this. You talked
Speaker 1: to me on the telephone. We're willing to talk to
Speaker 1: them like they're not. I talked to a dog like
Speaker 1: I talked like a person, maybe even a little word.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you got. It's that second sentence
Speaker 2: that it's not that you talk to your dog. You
Speaker 2: do talk to her like a person. You just talk
Speaker 2: to her like a person you don't respect very much
Speaker 2: at all, a child.
Speaker 1: Do you respect people who don't pay bills? Do you
Speaker 1: respect people who poop in the house?
Speaker 2: I do not do that. I'm we're gonna I'm gonna
Speaker 2: be honest. This is also the unclification of David Boring.
Speaker 2: But because you you went straight to do you pay bills? Yeah?
Speaker 2: You got there fast. She's in there.
Speaker 1: I'm just saying she's in there.
Speaker 2: I think that I think the same thoughts, but when
Speaker 2: they come out, I do go Wait a second, that
Speaker 2: does that thought come with a pair of linen pants?
Speaker 1: Okay, here's you pay some bills. Here's my issue. I
Speaker 1: think too now that I'm really if I'm really like
Speaker 1: putting my brain to it. It is because in being
Speaker 1: in uncle, Yeah, my love language is acts of service. Yeah, so, bitch,
Speaker 1: you ever missed a meal? Yeah, maybe maybe I talked
Speaker 1: to you how I want to hear, Maybe I talk
Speaker 1: to you. You get sick, you go to the doctor,
Speaker 1: right right, Okay, yeah, so maybe I talk a little crazy.
Speaker 2: I'm there every day. There's a lot of dogs don't
Speaker 2: go to the bit, you know, where they go outside, they.
Speaker 1: Get worms and then they die.
Speaker 3: This whole thing feels like the speech from Fences, like
Speaker 3: you like.
Speaker 9: Why, I gotta like you say, I gotta like you
Speaker 9: prop on your head like I'm just saying, I like
Speaker 9: dog Troy Max, I'm doing I'm doing the stuff.
Speaker 2: Yeah, take her out all this well walked dog, well walked. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 2: everybody season that.
Speaker 1: She's freaking out because they're doing the roof. Bitch sitting
Speaker 1: on my lap. Yeah, I'm trying to send emails whatever.
Speaker 1: She's on my life, big guys, full grown. I'm just
Speaker 1: a big dogs, big dog. I think people just like
Speaker 1: want to be like you hate the dog, and it's
Speaker 1: like I with.
Speaker 3: The doghole, and I will say, to your credit, I've
Speaker 3: done some nasty propaganda on the podcast, thank you, thank you.
Speaker 3: I think I have only seen you treat your dog kindly.
Speaker 3: Come on, you have you have done nothing in my
Speaker 3: presence that would suggest you are unkind to your dog.
Speaker 2: Come on, But the way you speak to her. She
Speaker 2: can't speak English. Does give me pause. Sometimes she doesn't.
Speaker 2: It gives him, Okay, it gets him. And now y'all
Speaker 2: see why I accuse the man of autism.
Speaker 1: That was good. I liked it because it got it
Speaker 1: off of me. And I will say I could say
Speaker 1: I could speak softer to sometimes I do.
Speaker 2: It is crazy sometimes, well do you? I mean? And
Speaker 2: this is a bigger question. You want him yelling at
Speaker 2: that dog or young not a baby. I would prefer
Speaker 2: the dog, for sure. I just don't think we have
Speaker 2: to be one or the other. Okay, all right, I'm
Speaker 2: I'm here to inspire as much as parents. I can't
Speaker 2: talk to the dog the way that white people talk
Speaker 2: to their dogs. That's fair. I can't do that.
Speaker 1: That's fair. I can't be in my house and it's
Speaker 1: just not It's just not gonna happen. I'm but we're cool,
Speaker 1: and sometimes I do. Sometimes I talk nice to her too.
Speaker 1: I'll be like, hey, you're trying to oh.
Speaker 2: Put your vest on?
Speaker 9: Yeah, clothes, look at Yes, the pitch had sneakers for
Speaker 9: a minute.
Speaker 2: She lives great. Well, yeah you're no, you're doing more
Speaker 2: than I've ever done. We're walking out.
Speaker 1: I'm worried about the concrete being too hot, and I pause, like,
Speaker 1: I'm taking care this dog.
Speaker 2: Bro.
Speaker 3: I had a pet pug in Michigan, like ann Arbor, Michigan.
Speaker 3: I didn't put a coat on her once.
Speaker 1: I mean, she doesn't wear the coat, but she got one.
Speaker 2: And that was what I realized, is like this is
Speaker 2: this is so much. I mean, that's gonna get you
Speaker 2: in trouble. The pug community. I used to have a
Speaker 2: couple of jokes about pugs, and they go, hey, the
Speaker 2: jokes funny, but like I'm saying, wild ship the pug,
Speaker 2: we really like pugs.
Speaker 1: If you didn't, they would have died off a long
Speaker 1: time ago. It's an abomination.
Speaker 2: Bio engineer. It didn't do a great job. No, actually
Speaker 2: they did. Do you know what they were trying to do?
Speaker 3: I know was the original play, but but in ancient
Speaker 3: China they were engineered because the emperor wanted a dog
Speaker 3: that looked like a monkey.
Speaker 2: So we got a level of power there. I could
Speaker 2: not said the balance. Are you going to give him
Speaker 2: a little bit tears? Now too?
Speaker 5: You said.
Speaker 2: Anytime a black man starts off a sentence, well we
Speaker 2: know what it is. Because China, the emperor we wanted
Speaker 2: the dog that looks like a monkey. We've all read
Speaker 2: our punk history, right. I don't want none of you
Speaker 2: brothers not caught up on God. I'm so damn.
Speaker 1: I didn't never realize the emperors carried that kind of
Speaker 1: power that would corrupt me if I was powerful enough
Speaker 1: to see make this animal look like this animal.
Speaker 2: You know that with multiple breeds of Chinese originated dogs,
Speaker 2: they had standards that well the I mean it's not
Speaker 2: some other one, but there are a bunch of dogs
Speaker 2: that come from China that were like breed standards based
Speaker 2: on what the emperor wanted. Yeah, I don't want you
Speaker 2: to think this is like all dogs go to China.
Speaker 2: This is uh, here's the strength that you're showing. They
Speaker 2: were strength.
Speaker 1: I know that was That's the strongest I've ever been
Speaker 1: on this podcast. And I'd like to think that's growth. Yeah,
Speaker 1: he did that, and I sat here and I took it.
Speaker 2: You saw it.
Speaker 1: I'm an ally it's because I'm going to Asia. Yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: par Japan, Me and my little brothers going to Japan.
Speaker 2: Have you seen that people now are doing this. They're
Speaker 2: kind of telling Americans on TikTok. They're saying, I know
Speaker 2: everyone loves Japan, everyone loves Tokyo, everyone loves Future, everyone
Speaker 2: loves anime, and every every person on TikTok is like yeah.
Speaker 2: And then people go, you know, Japan, you should do
Speaker 2: bad stuff, and everyone's like, yeah, we know. Yeah, I'm
Speaker 2: going though.
Speaker 7: Yeah, Japan is really getting the the Creator treatment. Yeah,
Speaker 7: well said, that's exactly right. Yeah, it's getting that Tyler treatment.
Speaker 1: You're like, I don't give a funk. I'm listening to
Speaker 1: Chromo code.
Speaker 2: The Tiler situation. Whenever it kind of was reaching critical mass,
Speaker 2: there was this weird I don't know. I'm a millennial,
Speaker 2: so I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, I remember the cockroaches.
Speaker 2: Did y'all not remember the cockroaches? There were so many
Speaker 2: babies on the in and they're like, and then he
Speaker 2: used to do I was like, yeah, yeah, wait a second,
Speaker 2: I was. I was laughing and enjoying the music then,
Speaker 2: and is this a deal breaker for everyone? For me,
Speaker 2: it took me a minute to come around because I
Speaker 2: remember that.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I was like, oh, man, is he's dope.
Speaker 3: He's clearly like a good rapper, But I'm not on
Speaker 3: I'm not on bird on board with a human yet
Speaker 3: because I couldn't.
Speaker 1: Yeah, because when On Future came out, so it was
Speaker 1: too young for me.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we kids doing crazy shit. Brother loved Odd Future
Speaker 2: and Lord's Squad, and I had to be like, let
Speaker 2: me chuck on Mark. Yeah yeah, because it was like bro.
Speaker 1: I went to I got free tickets to an Odd
Speaker 1: Future show in San Francisco, and I remember I went
Speaker 1: and there was no life at the bar. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, this is not for me, this
Speaker 1: y Yeah, these are for kids.
Speaker 2: And then he grew up and I was like, oh
Speaker 2: that's cool. No, that's my fucking coolest shit and.
Speaker 1: Also allowed some space for growth.
Speaker 2: It happened.
Speaker 1: Everybody grows man. I used to have credit at the
Speaker 1: liquor store. Look at me now, nice to talk.
Speaker 2: Well, what happened is we we got you know who,
Speaker 2: we got to do that shit for us, and then
Speaker 2: we never had to worry about it and tell me
Speaker 2: if y'all disagree. We had Eminem and more specifically, we
Speaker 2: had all of D twelve, so we got bizarre, We
Speaker 2: got Obie Trice, We had like fucked up, crazy weird
Speaker 2: black dudes doing fucked up, crazy weird shit with Eminem,
Speaker 2: and then we just never had to deal with it.
Speaker 2: Like we got them and we like listen to them
Speaker 2: do that shit, and then we were like, oh well
Speaker 2: actually I'm cool now.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And I say, also, if we're talking about this,
Speaker 1: we're bringing it out there. Yeah, what's in the water
Speaker 1: in Detroit? Because they started that whole horror core wrap
Speaker 1: Yeah that was Detroit, right, Yeah, e Seian and all
Speaker 1: that crazy see that rap music that is scary to
Speaker 1: listen to.
Speaker 2: What's from there? What's going on? I'm not from there?
Speaker 2: He was just he was just walking up outside from there.
Speaker 3: Be careful, yeah, mom, But like it would be like
Speaker 3: asking a person who never returned to the island, okay
Speaker 3: with the island?
Speaker 2: Yeah, the mango in the water?
Speaker 1: Yeah, Like I don't know, it's see some of us
Speaker 1: believeing pedrogenetics.
Speaker 2: I think it was just like it's something in you.
Speaker 2: You think there's something in the in my core that
Speaker 2: just understands Detroit movement. Yeah, more than I do.
Speaker 3: I will say that Detroit is very weirdly a arts
Speaker 3: city and it doesn't get a lot of credit as
Speaker 3: an art city because it's a.
Speaker 2: Bummer to visit.
Speaker 3: Yeah, like it is legitimately a city with like a
Speaker 3: strong ass grassroots arts community, and I think that blossoms
Speaker 3: out into trying a lot of weird shit in their
Speaker 3: music and in their like culture like they have there.
Speaker 3: There's this this project that's on the I'm gonna fuck
Speaker 3: Butcher the name, But there's this arts project on like
Speaker 3: the west side of Detroit that like, this dude just
Speaker 3: basically turned his entire block into like a found art exhibit,
Speaker 3: right because all the houses are abandoned. It's just like
Speaker 3: decorate the whole fucking block with whatever he wanted. And
Speaker 3: so it's like weird shit. It's like skull, baby skull
Speaker 3: with a stick in it, and then it's like wrapped
Speaker 3: with barbed wire. It's like, really, is him just being
Speaker 3: like I'm not I'm just gonna do what I want
Speaker 3: with I think that's cool.
Speaker 1: I mean it's also like there are a lot of
Speaker 1: different types of black Like am I wrong about? There's
Speaker 1: a lot of black techno that came out of Detroit
Speaker 1: as well, this where house music was technically born, right,
Speaker 1: So it's like I get that that it's just a
Speaker 1: city trying a lot of stuff.
Speaker 2: The Heidelberg Project.
Speaker 1: Okay, And when you get that, you also get dudes
Speaker 1: wrapping up about eating stuff.
Speaker 2: I think so.
Speaker 3: I think if you go visit the Heidelberg Project as
Speaker 3: a young person and you see a baby with a
Speaker 3: fucking stick stab through its skull, you go, I think
Speaker 3: I could rap about whatever I want.
Speaker 2: I like that.
Speaker 4: I like that.
Speaker 2: And now the Detroit sound and the Milwaukee sound is
Speaker 2: just kind of a a rhythmic, offbeat syncopated, sort of
Speaker 2: very specific cadence. When growing up there were rappers where
Speaker 2: you're like that, this is scariest Buck and I don't.
Speaker 2: I'm not mad that Tyler was kind of that early on.
Speaker 2: I mean, you know pictures in like white Face. Also
Speaker 2: at the time I think it's coming back.
Speaker 4: It was.
Speaker 2: Like, okay, I've been talking to people what I'm saying.
Speaker 2: I dropped a joke.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry.
Speaker 2: I dropped a joke about I was starting rob on
Speaker 2: the internet the other day. Drop.
Speaker 1: I dropped a joke about being Leston for Halloween, and
Speaker 1: YE laughed and I was like, I think this, I think,
Speaker 1: I think white Face I think we could.
Speaker 2: Get in early first, I'm hearing of it.
Speaker 1: Well, I was thinking it would be funny if we
Speaker 1: were each other for Halloween.
Speaker 2: Yeah, no, that's not funny for me.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's the problems.
Speaker 2: Actually, the problems not funny for me because then because
Speaker 2: you go into the shades and you got going.
Speaker 7: Brother, no thing I can put on. It's a compliment
Speaker 7: to you. You know what you could do if it
Speaker 7: would be funny?
Speaker 1: If I showed up as you and you were you Okay,
Speaker 1: that's okay, right, that might get away with it.
Speaker 2: Or you say, oh, let's be let's be just Halloween
Speaker 2: and you just come in a bunch of Denver stuff.
Speaker 2: You go, look at me. I'm daming. You didn't have
Speaker 2: no Chicago stuff you wanted to put up? Yeah, no,
Speaker 2: I thought this was this what I thought thought we
Speaker 2: were having fun. You know, sei way went to my
Speaker 2: high school. You could have warned something about that. You
Speaker 2: would nuggets Jersey.
Speaker 1: That's true.
Speaker 2: I think you can't. That's bunny, that's comedy of error.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think that would probably be better. But I've
Speaker 1: just been thinking of me.
Speaker 2: But no, no, no, not for you.
Speaker 1: There would be Yeah, there's just no world. I get that,
Speaker 1: do you ever? I also do think, though this guy's diabolical.
Speaker 1: I think if we let it go and we were
Speaker 1: just like you'd be Leanston, you be David. I think
Speaker 1: he might show up in a gorilla cos.
Speaker 2: Oh my costume? What ever? You thought for a moment
Speaker 2: I would lose the competition. That's okay what I'm saying,
Speaker 2: And this is why we have rules. Said, why do
Speaker 2: you have a bone through your nose? You came with
Speaker 2: a spear?
Speaker 1: What I just got like a little bit of white
Speaker 1: face on and like a brighter sir would dragged and knuckles.
Speaker 2: Buffalo Bill's Super Bowls champ shirt that you think they
Speaker 2: shipped over there. That's an all the specific mean thing
Speaker 2: about African kids. You really dug d oh man, Dad,
Speaker 2: Now I'm gonna win the competition.
Speaker 1: Well, some Halloween, some Halloween will be able to join
Speaker 1: each other.
Speaker 3: I think when this country has righted the ship, when
Speaker 3: we when we're finally back to what we used to be.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, in a while. Now America doesn't say don't
Speaker 2: make it perfect? Can we get back to eight?
Speaker 1: Oh yes, we're pining for black face?
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 6: If that was if that was our biggest problem was
Speaker 6: was white people wearing black vests, I'd be so happy.
Speaker 2: So much better. That was so sim Yeah, Megan Kelly,
Speaker 2: put it back on. Put it back on. You deserve it.
Speaker 1: That's so funny because today my homie d M me
Speaker 1: and it was like, uh, there's a video of some
Speaker 1: white girl doing blackface for Halloween.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and he was like anybody, he were like this,
Speaker 2: I ain't even know he's the funny thing.
Speaker 1: He's the funniest thing.
Speaker 2: He was like, not gonna lie.
Speaker 1: I kind of look forward to these every year.
Speaker 2: They are legitimately funny.
Speaker 3: And I know you guys are gonna be mad at
Speaker 3: us for saying it, but they're they're legitimately funny.
Speaker 2: Well, because they're funny.
Speaker 1: Because of context.
Speaker 2: That's it.
Speaker 1: It's not like I don't if I saw that, if
Speaker 1: that walks into my Halloween party, in my laughing, I
Speaker 1: would not think that's funny. It's just like but like
Speaker 1: when you take everything. That's why.
Speaker 2: It's if it's on a phone and I have this
Speaker 2: aesthetic distance to be like you stepped in it.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I liked it out of awareness and humor, not
Speaker 2: out of liking it. I also, and.
Speaker 1: That's people need to realize humor isn't morality, I think
Speaker 1: is what needs to happen. David, that ship is not
Speaker 1: the funny thing, is not why these fucking comics are
Speaker 1: fucking idiots.
Speaker 2: All I about it? What's funny? Will you idiot?
Speaker 1: Then go kill yourself about you have funny something? Start
Speaker 1: of religion, you fucking ding dog. Bad stuff is funny.
Speaker 1: It's funny when bad stuff happens to people. But you
Speaker 1: can't live by that.
Speaker 2: It isn't just it isn't just the distance for me.
Speaker 3: It also there's this small piece of it where it's like, Bro,
Speaker 3: you did something everybody else is afraid of, and you
Speaker 3: had no idea that that likes.
Speaker 2: The bravery of black face, like Bro, I wouldn't, I
Speaker 2: couldn't do it, or maybe maybe or maybe last and
Speaker 2: enjoys the incongruity of those people doing that. And you're going,
Speaker 2: wait a sec. Everyone else's software has been updated. Everybody,
Speaker 2: I'll do it. This is it's crazy, and that's funny.
Speaker 2: It's so funny. You didn't get we passed the memo
Speaker 2: around the office. Did you know everybody knew? Y'all you
Speaker 2: live in the same place I do. It's it's so
Speaker 2: frowned upon, y'all. Stop doing it in your entertainment. It's
Speaker 2: not even like we got it out of ours. You
Speaker 2: stop entertaining each other with the ship and you're still
Speaker 2: that's good for you. That's very funny. It is funny.
Speaker 2: It is a good person that is a soulless devil.
Speaker 2: That is a funny mother. They always do choose, I mean,
Speaker 2: they always choose Doodo Brown to.
Speaker 1: Know this one.
Speaker 2: I saw.
Speaker 1: This microphone ass that Okay, it was it was. It
Speaker 1: was fucked because it was these white girls, I guess, being.
Speaker 2: W n b A players.
Speaker 1: What you're like, wait, it was like they're wearing like
Speaker 1: pink jerseys and it was crazy.
Speaker 2: That's true because okay, because here's something you are being
Speaker 2: a feminist because you are celebrating women's sports.
Speaker 1: Are you celebrating women?
Speaker 2: Give him? Give him? You could just be there are
Speaker 2: a white w n b A play. Famously, recently, there
Speaker 2: are a lot of what page backers came and bring
Speaker 2: and uh and Kaitlyn Clark. They are three easy names
Speaker 2: that are white NBA players that if you want to
Speaker 2: be a w NBA player, you can be. Kaitlyn Clark
Speaker 2: has controversial for so many of them. If you I mean,
Speaker 2: my my hot take is that Timothy Shallow made should
Speaker 2: go as Kaitlyn Clark because it's very close. It's close enough,
Speaker 2: it's close enough, they coming, they come. That was a
Speaker 2: good one. Okay, Okay, I've never seen them in the
Speaker 2: same room. You're going to good jail. You're going to
Speaker 2: fund jail. White. One time I did what a white person.
Speaker 2: One time, I did post the story on Instagram where
Speaker 2: I was wearing like some sort of mask and it
Speaker 2: was white, and I did post it on one of
Speaker 2: my Pagram stories, and one of my friends, who is white,
Speaker 2: she said, Jay, this is funny. Yeah, And I did
Speaker 2: have to be like, oh, I thought you were cool. Yeah,
Speaker 2: it is funny. I didn't posted on the I didn't
Speaker 2: posted on the grid. Is on the story. Come on,
Speaker 2: I'm just acknowledging a thing. I'm just doing my skincare routine.
Speaker 2: And I look, I was like, this is kind of funny.
Speaker 2: That is funny. It's gonna be going tomorrow the story
Speaker 2: and repost. That doesn't even count to me, right, No,
Speaker 2: That's where I'm at my most reckless.
Speaker 1: You just taught me about reposting, and I was just
Speaker 1: going through reposting ship and then I was like, oh, maybe, yeah.
Speaker 2: The order of what I'm doing, I need to put
Speaker 2: some social media curated. Yeah, otherwise you think I'm just like,
Speaker 2: but Instagram is also just back to telling the people now,
Speaker 2: because every time I see a big booty across the
Speaker 2: gender expanse, my friend's faces are very small now in
Speaker 2: the left hand corner and they're floating.
Speaker 1: Kind of smile.
Speaker 2: My friends. My friends are like.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and it's always the people.
Speaker 2: It's always the people. You don't want it to be.
Speaker 1: Man and the old guys, old guys who still think
Speaker 1: that she sees the heart that he says.
Speaker 2: Okay, I'm gonna say, Okay, guess what. Guess what. I'm
Speaker 2: gonna tell you something, and it does not leave this
Speaker 2: room even though this is being recorded. Kid, Okay, this okay.
Speaker 2: So there is an older comic in New York, and
Speaker 2: every time I get on Threads, there will be like
Speaker 2: a woman in an orange bikini and underne he will
Speaker 2: put like orange hearts, and I mean, like, whoa he
Speaker 2: coordinated their brother putting hearts that matches a bikini that's beautiful.
Speaker 1: That sucks.
Speaker 2: He's like, baby, I'm fan.
Speaker 1: Is that his computer with an orange fitted on.
Speaker 2: He's in bed with. If I never take it off,
Speaker 2: I'm not bought. That works. Imagine how that thing smells.
Speaker 5: Mag Ma, you.
Speaker 2: Shirtless in bed with the Yankee fitted on.
Speaker 7: I don't even think he has that many hats, you
Speaker 7: know what I mean, Like I think he's I think
Speaker 7: he's it's like the same.
Speaker 2: I think he did a podcast with I believe what
Speaker 2: he said Matt TV paid him in hats a little bit.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, man, that is an old timey, devilish version
Speaker 1: of show business.
Speaker 2: Okay, you canna have a salary or you can have
Speaker 2: what we know you're gonna spend it on. What don't
Speaker 2: we know you're gonna spend Look, man, you see you
Speaker 2: see Airy Spence on the street with the side and
Speaker 2: you go, hey, I'm gonna give you some money. You're
Speaker 2: gonna spend on hats. Man, I'm swear to god, it's
Speaker 2: my last, my last I take you to make That
Speaker 2: was like by something. I don't need the money. I
Speaker 2: know you're just gonna buy hat. I'll take you to
Speaker 2: the liquor store. Just don't body has I but I
Speaker 2: was sorry. That's how I'm going to end up. My biggest,
Speaker 2: my biggest fear. I think you can wear hats all
Speaker 2: the time. You just can't have bad opinions. Yeah, me
Speaker 2: and me and what if you do both My husband
Speaker 2: bought me like a hat. Oh this is actually connected.
Speaker 2: Oh my goodness, y'all putting stuff together for me. So
Speaker 2: my my husband he bought me like a container for like,
Speaker 2: I got a bunch of hats. I said, what, I
Speaker 2: don't got that many hats. I don't need a container
Speaker 2: for these hats. I needed it. No, Yeah, And it's
Speaker 2: connected to my mom. My mom she had a lot
Speaker 2: of hats, church hats when she went to my granddad's. Yeah,
Speaker 2: when she went, thank you. It's it's the same. They
Speaker 2: are fascinators. She got a bunch of church hats. My mom.
Speaker 2: She's one to my granddad's dad's funeral in Atlanta. She
Speaker 2: got on a plane with the hat box. James Brown
Speaker 2: is on the plane, Yeah, trying food commercial. Well this
Speaker 2: was he was in the front, but this was this
Speaker 2: is like he has to be at the front front.
Speaker 1: Otherwise my world.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he's in the front. They're going to Atlanta. Him fly.
Speaker 1: He was like Charlie Sheen, Charlie Sheen fly the plane.
Speaker 1: And I'm like, James Brown is kind of like our Charlie.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I would say so. And this is that we've
Speaker 2: seen multiple interviews where it's like you high. Yeah, but
Speaker 2: he's in the he sees my mom with the hat box.
Speaker 2: And this is the story my mom told me, and
Speaker 2: I literally tell it every time someone brings up hat
Speaker 2: or James Brown. My mom was grieving her father and
Speaker 2: the thing she sees when she gets on this plane
Speaker 2: is a bunch of smiling, happy people about James Brown.
Speaker 2: She don't want to see James Brown. She gets James Brown.
Speaker 2: James Brown sees my mom. She's kind of sad, but
Speaker 2: she has a has a box with her and Jane
Speaker 2: go hey, got a half back. He sees this wonderful
Speaker 2: Southern woman getting playing kind of sad. He's don't cheer up. Yeah,
Speaker 2: he don't know my granddad's that she's sad. He goes
Speaker 2: got a half back. Yeah, he just was giving her
Speaker 2: a little something. Yeah, that's really sweet. That's really great.
Speaker 2: That's really no James Brown trying to fuck my mom agreeing.
Speaker 2: You don't know, listen, don't put that it could have
Speaker 2: been altristic, that's true.
Speaker 1: I don't you think it was alternative.
Speaker 2: I don't think James Brown was giving a little bit
Speaker 2: of his soul to your mom. Okay, but it's like
Speaker 2: and that was like when the first time was like, Mom,
Speaker 2: that's funny. Funny you think you have more hat than
Speaker 2: your mom? Sorry, no, well now you know now I
Speaker 2: think she has different types of hats because she'd be
Speaker 2: switching it up.
Speaker 1: My mom.
Speaker 2: She switches up now because my sister in law she
Speaker 2: do hair, so my mom, Mom can jump the line. Yeah,
Speaker 2: we're talking about Barbara etiquette before the pod started. But
Speaker 2: my mom always talking. She'd be she be jumping the
Speaker 2: line when it comes to Crystal, my sister in laws,
Speaker 2: you new hair, Mama, my mama will take your spot. Yeah,
Speaker 2: my mama. You know there's grandbabies now to say, yeah, wow,
Speaker 2: she'd be switching her hair up a lot. Now, my
Speaker 2: mama will send me yourself. He'll be like, okay, okay, yeah,
Speaker 2: you're really being loose, oh my mama, because he's not
Speaker 2: braids young. No, not so for your mom. For my
Speaker 2: mom to get braids and black and black and blond
Speaker 2: braids in her sixties, my first thought was love it.
Speaker 2: Mya said, who is my mama dating? Is ma mama
Speaker 2: sneaking out to sea?
Speaker 5: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Are your parents together? No? My dad he passed away.
Speaker 2: He passed down. I was fifteen. So they got divorced,
Speaker 2: so he never got to see.
Speaker 1: If they want to see, your mama's going on the carnival.
Speaker 2: Tom joining us. Oh, that's a class my mama. Mama
Speaker 2: is going on a voyage to Atlantis. Got a turn? Yeah,
Speaker 2: they taking turns. He know my mama. I know I
Speaker 2: used to. I couldn't really sexualize my mother until I
Speaker 2: got into my thirties. My mom went to the super
Speaker 2: Bowl one time, and I want to say in Jacksonville,
Speaker 2: she was a super Bowl. She went to super Bowl
Speaker 2: with this man. His name is doctor Truly. No, no,
Speaker 2: he was doctor What did you call him, doctor, trulieh.
Speaker 2: I called him doctor truly. I call him William William. No,
Speaker 2: I called him doctor truly. Okay, that's him. Then my
Speaker 2: mama mama only called him William when she was mad,
Speaker 2: and so I was like, oh, y'all date. Oh she
Speaker 2: called him doctor truly, and she called him doctor truly
Speaker 2: in front of us, and then on the phone she'd
Speaker 2: be saying. I was like, well William, I'd be like, okay,
Speaker 2: they're mad. So he took her to the super Bowl
Speaker 2: it was Eagles versus Patriots. Because I remember being like,
Speaker 2: my mom was going to the super Bowl. And at
Speaker 2: the time, I was like, she's going to super Bowl.
Speaker 2: That's crazy. Now looking back on it, then my mama
Speaker 2: got flewed out. Yeah, yeah, I know, she got flewed out.
Speaker 1: Mama got the highest state.
Speaker 2: My mama got the highest stage on the highest state.
Speaker 1: He said, to the super Bowl, to the super Bowl.
Speaker 2: That's way different than like a carnival on the most
Speaker 2: important day of the year. I choose your mom, biggest
Speaker 2: media event in America. Yeah. Hey, he's a good man
Speaker 2: for doing that. It didn't work out, But looking back
Speaker 2: on it, I ain't flying nobody else the super Bowl. No,
Speaker 2: you have a husband. Yeah, I mean, I still good.
Speaker 2: I wanted, but I meant, yeah, I don't fly him
Speaker 2: out he had here. No, Yeah, we asked about him,
Speaker 2: Like you said, I couldn't I couldn't fly him. I said,
Speaker 2: I wouldn't fly him. We we need to take a break.
Speaker 3: We have not even begun to address the conspiracy you
Speaker 3: showed up with today. So what we're gonna do is
Speaker 3: we're gonna take a break. We're gonna come back, we're
Speaker 3: gonna chat about your conspiracy. Then we'll do a voicemail if.
Speaker 2: We have time. Yeah, cooking, we have fun that it's great.
Speaker 2: This is an awesome episode. Mama, Ma, mama, hoand I'm
Speaker 2: this is what I said. Dating. No, I'll say this
Speaker 2: so dating yes. But because my mom was on this
Speaker 2: plane to the super Bowl. She was on it with
Speaker 2: some sex workers and we love sex work. Oh, because
Speaker 2: he was a super Bowl super Bowl my mom, I
Speaker 2: cannot make this up. She got on the plane. It
Speaker 2: was a bunch of girls and dresses with like tiny
Speaker 2: suitcases and they all on the plane. They're all going
Speaker 2: down Jackieville. My mom says, I'm so excited, and they
Speaker 2: were like yeah. She's like, where you going? She said,
Speaker 2: I'm going to super Bowl. We're going to super Bowl.
Speaker 2: And my mom she's a teacher. She's in the union.
Speaker 2: She was a teacher for thirty years. She said, oh,
Speaker 2: you know, it's tough for us working girls. And they
Speaker 2: said you're a working girl.
Speaker 1: Oh no, brother, that is an episode of living.
Speaker 10: Suddenly you had a Robert party. Wait a minute, good memory.
Speaker 10: Not usually he was the mayor.
Speaker 2: We're going to take a break more Jay Jarden more.
Speaker 1: My mama told me.
Speaker 2: But we're going to do this respectfully, otherwise we'll end
Speaker 2: in a duel. And I mean a duel, real life
Speaker 2: duel where only one person walks away. We can meet
Speaker 2: with guns, bottles, knives or books and equations, but we're
Speaker 2: going to do this, like man, So get ready, get ready,
Speaker 2: We're back. Get ready? Are you? Are you auditioning? Did
Speaker 2: you get the side for the ten powered biopinion brother?
Speaker 2: When it is available, when he's finally ready to do
Speaker 2: some work, you better believe when accomplishments are recognize is
Speaker 2: what you're saying and what I'll say.
Speaker 3: And this isn't me like in any I have no
Speaker 3: idea what my future is, right Like, I'm not one
Speaker 3: of these two who pretends that, like I'm going to
Speaker 3: become some big celebrity. Maybe that happens, maybe that yeah,
Speaker 3: But what I will commit to is that no matter
Speaker 3: what scale of celebrity I become, I am committed to
Speaker 3: the Terrence Howard film the second.
Speaker 2: It is available.
Speaker 1: You heard it here first, I would man deadline.
Speaker 3: Exclusive I become the biggest star in the world, which
Speaker 3: I don't anticipate. If by chance I should fall upon
Speaker 3: a magic that allows me to become a true champion
Speaker 3: of all men, I will still serve at the Terrence
Speaker 3: Howard throne and because I would love to see middle
Speaker 3: Terrence like mister Hollins Opus Terrence, where it's like it's working,
Speaker 3: but you don't know how big it's gonna get.
Speaker 2: Yeah, like pre Empire, you know what I'm saying. Because
Speaker 2: he was around.
Speaker 1: He wasn't he in Sunset Park Bros.
Speaker 2: He's been around for well, he was. He was in
Speaker 2: every black movie and then also somehow in every white
Speaker 2: TV show, and then like Empire was like a career renaissance.
Speaker 2: It was like he had already the flow had already happened.
Speaker 2: We were done with Terrence Howard. Yeah, little did we know?
Speaker 2: One times one? That's two, that's two because check the
Speaker 2: math right there? You got you got two of them?
Speaker 2: If I got a one and I got a one,
Speaker 2: how is that? Where this is where this is going.
Speaker 2: He's literally doing that magic trick where you go like this.
Speaker 2: I like that. You can do it better with one hand.
Speaker 1: He took this to Harvard.
Speaker 2: And they said, wait a minute, way way way, way, way,
Speaker 2: way time out. Hey, hey cavel cavel man, damon, come
Speaker 2: here look at this. How about these apples?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Do you think the Terrence Howard movie do you
Speaker 1: think it gets? Do you think it gets to real theaters.
Speaker 1: Do you think it's like a two B exclusive Rather,
Speaker 1: that's not for us to decide.
Speaker 2: No, it's gonna be on the app he owns and creates.
Speaker 2: That's the problem is now I have to give my
Speaker 2: information to watch. That's and that's what I meant.
Speaker 3: I didn't mean to be dismissive. I just mean that
Speaker 3: this is for Terrence Howard to choose what he wants
Speaker 3: his future.
Speaker 2: Y'all know how like everything in the entertainment industry is
Speaker 2: kind of like moving towards people being more and more siloed.
Speaker 2: But there aren't going to be celebrities that go, well,
Speaker 2: I have an app. Yeah, if you download this app,
Speaker 2: you can have access to me twenty four to seven. Yep,
Speaker 2: And you mean you mean a phone? You just you
Speaker 2: that's you're giving us your phone number. That's it. Yeah,
Speaker 2: you can reach out to me.
Speaker 3: I'll reach back everything I post and will be available
Speaker 3: to text you with as.
Speaker 1: The phone can. I say that The saddest thing that
Speaker 1: ever has happened to me in Hollywood is seeing people
Speaker 1: are used to watch on TV tell me about an app? Yeah,
Speaker 1: like just like in different they happened to us outside.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, what a He was like, no, no, no, yeah.
Speaker 2: When I was really breaking down that before your told
Speaker 2: this story, I'll tell this story. That's the Hollywood improv.
Speaker 2: That particular person looked at me and your do Travis'
Speaker 2: skulls and said, by the shape of y'all's head, I
Speaker 2: can tell what part of West Africa from I might
Speaker 2: even can figure out what tribe he guessed twice? What
Speaker 2: you got it wrong? Both? Of course, what do you guess? Well,
Speaker 2: you know, he guessed the two big Nigerian tribes and
Speaker 2: you go in and then he was like no. He
Speaker 2: was like, well that's that's really all I came here with.
Speaker 2: That's interesting. He said, well maybe you don't know. I
Speaker 2: like that though, I do like you don't know, maybe
Speaker 2: you just haven't done your research. And then he got
Speaker 2: to me. He's like, well gay gay people is different.
Speaker 2: You've been corrupted, brother, you had your skull pounded in.
Speaker 2: That's not to be like nigga. You wore the drugs.
Speaker 2: You was you oh man.
Speaker 1: But anyways, get to my mama told me, app we're
Speaker 1: selling all kinds of stuff as you thought Erica could
Speaker 1: sell in sense that smells like a pussy. Wait till
Speaker 1: you see the incense we're sitting, bro.
Speaker 3: If you want to know what I'm googling mapping with
Speaker 3: without actually going to places.
Speaker 1: Available on that, you want to see the last thirty
Speaker 1: days of my search history? WHOA, Okay, that's dangerous, that
Speaker 1: it's way weirder, that it's like weird, but that is true, bravery. No,
Speaker 1: I wouldn't actually do it. This is a bit I
Speaker 1: don't I can't allow anyone to. I wouldn't let my
Speaker 1: spouse see that.
Speaker 2: When the likes went away on Twitter, I was happy. Yeah, No,
Speaker 2: I don't need I got to it. Yeah, it's too vulnerable.
Speaker 2: I can't be out there like that.
Speaker 1: No, No, And it's like I it's you're not. I'm
Speaker 1: never as stupid as I am in my search. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's privacy.
Speaker 2: You know. Hey, I don't know that. Don't tell anyone.
Speaker 2: I don't know this, but I am. I'm looking up
Speaker 2: this again.
Speaker 1: And I or sometimes I'm like the people I'm trying
Speaker 1: to prove it to are right next year.
Speaker 3: And I bet our grandpas wouldn't like if we knew
Speaker 3: every page in the dictionary they hit you know what
Speaker 3: I mean, every Encyclopedia Britannica stops that they they went on,
Speaker 3: like a few of those you were a little embarrassed about.
Speaker 1: You know what I mean?
Speaker 2: Yeah, you you you do understand that. Like now we
Speaker 2: have infinitely more access than they did, so we are
Speaker 2: asking even more because they probably were just like, I
Speaker 2: need to spell this before we're able to be like
Speaker 2: I'm going to show with him. Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: it says not guilty. Okay, we can take a picture.
Speaker 2: That's what comedy is now. Comedy is like okay, well
Speaker 2: like bad rapists or like we don't know yet rapists.
Speaker 2: Comedy is not fun, is what it is.
Speaker 1: It is fun for us to do, but like as
Speaker 1: a whole, it's as fun as I had working at
Speaker 1: the gas station.
Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, in the sense you'd be like, hey, man,
Speaker 2: don't say that about women. They can hear you. Yeah
Speaker 2: yeah yeah.
Speaker 1: And also you're on coke.
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, they go, I know David, we're on him.
Speaker 2: I don't work here.
Speaker 3: Jay, you came to us with a conspiracy today. Uh
Speaker 3: that that we're very excited about. You said, my mama
Speaker 3: told me.
Speaker 2: All black celebrities know each other, every black and she
Speaker 2: believes this because you'll see things like Chris Rock will
Speaker 2: get slapped and then like Denzel and Tyler Perry will
Speaker 2: go over the will you pray for him, Samuel Jackson
Speaker 2: will pray for him to like. She thinks that there
Speaker 2: is a level of fame where you just lock in
Speaker 2: with all the famous black people. Oh yeah, she she
Speaker 2: thinks that I'm close to that, and I go, it's
Speaker 2: not happening. It's never gonna happen. And I've made fun
Speaker 2: of Tyler Perry too much. If that exists, I am
Speaker 2: ex communicated. You're in good company, man. I have made
Speaker 2: fun of that man so much. But she thinks they'd
Speaker 2: be calling each other. She thinks being a black celebrities
Speaker 2: like going to the big church in town. Yeah, oh yeah,
Speaker 2: I see.
Speaker 1: Do you think that now it's so disjoined? I think
Speaker 1: there was a time where it was more like that
Speaker 1: than we would think. Probably, Yeah, I do think that
Speaker 1: I do, because I think there was like it's like
Speaker 1: have you ever been I don't know. I'm like a
Speaker 1: show or a festival or some shit, and there's two
Speaker 1: people who were in the same whatever, and they gravitate
Speaker 1: just to each other just because there's no more of
Speaker 1: them here or whatever, or when.
Speaker 2: All the black comics at a comedy festival. Take a
Speaker 2: picture together and you can get the black comics. Yeah,
Speaker 2: there's one person who comes in you go you black?
Speaker 2: I was okay, yeah, glad.
Speaker 1: I thought it was a little more bemboped than hip hop.
Speaker 2: But yeah, maybe that's funny. What wings either way? Come on,
Speaker 2: we all like chicken, We all like, yeah, my granddaddy
Speaker 2: told you that.
Speaker 3: There's a part of me that I think feels almost
Speaker 3: closer to your mother in this story than away from her. Like,
Speaker 3: I do think that that it is not as every
Speaker 3: black celebrity knows each other, but I think after a
Speaker 3: certain level, they all do kind of knowing.
Speaker 2: My mama thinks that I'm close to getting the black
Speaker 2: celebrity text messages, not just to know that's not happening. Yeah,
Speaker 2: there's a few ascensions, and you are famous and doing well,
Speaker 2: and we're all very proud of you. You it means
Speaker 2: a lot. I've spent so many days at this community
Speaker 2: center really just not getting picked for basketball, and I'm
Speaker 2: so happy that I get to come here and do
Speaker 2: the ribbon cutting the gym. Yeah, yeah, I didn't play
Speaker 2: a lick. I was that. We don't remember. Nobody knows
Speaker 2: how you shoot.
Speaker 1: I saw him drop twenty eight.
Speaker 2: My mama. See just things that like, there is like
Speaker 2: this level of black fame that feels like a family
Speaker 2: re union and I just want to be like, no,
Speaker 2: I don't know if that's because we're fractured now.
Speaker 1: We are fracturing now. I also think there's a level
Speaker 1: and your mom may not know about this, but this
Speaker 1: is real. There's also a level when people get successful
Speaker 1: to a point where it's like they pretend to know
Speaker 1: each other anyway.
Speaker 2: Think about it.
Speaker 1: Think about I've had people within my career, which is
Speaker 1: not huge, where it was like before I was in
Speaker 1: open moment and then they saw something or saw and
Speaker 1: then now it's like it's up, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2: So I think there's like a ton of that.
Speaker 1: I think there's a way because that's happened that all
Speaker 1: of us, right, that's happened to you before.
Speaker 2: It like when an older black comic says your name
Speaker 2: and you go, how the fuck you know?
Speaker 5: Mom?
Speaker 1: Man? Or it's like I remember when we were in
Speaker 1: an audition together and you wouldn't look me in my eyes. Yeah,
Speaker 1: all of a sudden, now I say something, You're like
Speaker 1: I supposed David boy thing to say, and you're like, you.
Speaker 2: Don't like me like a man up to this point.
Speaker 2: I'll tell you who it is after this is over.
Speaker 2: Oh my god. Well, now maybe my mom is closer
Speaker 2: to right than wrong. I feel it's not exact.
Speaker 1: I think so, and I think because of that, it
Speaker 1: often comes because, like you ever notice, celebrities don't, at
Speaker 1: least from what I've seen in my experience and entertainment,
Speaker 1: celebrities don't like to admit that they don't know other celebrities.
Speaker 1: If somebody's hot, they'll always.
Speaker 2: It turns into the amount of like social currency. Yeah,
Speaker 2: you're not behind the times. No, I know everybody.
Speaker 1: Yeah that's my best friend.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I love I love Yeah, yeah, I know. That's
Speaker 2: not if you love him together. Yeah.
Speaker 5: I think.
Speaker 3: I think there is a need for community at all times,
Speaker 3: and that I think once you reach a certain level
Speaker 3: of celebrity, there's only like eight people you can even
Speaker 3: vibe with. And so you it's why Michelle Obama gives
Speaker 3: fucking George Bush the mints. Oh, it's like, bro, we're
Speaker 3: the only ones that can talk about I will say,
Speaker 3: you know.
Speaker 2: What it's like.
Speaker 1: It's like me and old people It's like when you
Speaker 1: hear old people talk about being so old that they're like,
Speaker 1: I don't even have we were in all I was
Speaker 1: in all these rooms. There's nobody else who around, who
Speaker 1: is even in those rooms, who I can talk to.
Speaker 1: I think it becomes a similar thing that I think.
Speaker 3: The reason birds chirp is because when they wake up
Speaker 3: in the morning, they just want to scream to everybody
Speaker 3: they survived the night.
Speaker 2: That's all.
Speaker 3: It is like when they wake up and everybody's going crazy,
Speaker 3: it's just them going, I survived.
Speaker 2: Okay, okay, I'm okay blank. Stand While while I believe
Speaker 2: that is true from a biological standpoint, is very close
Speaker 2: to Taraji saying, do you know why we run away
Speaker 2: when we laugh because we couldn't laugh? It was very
Speaker 2: close to that. First of all, you leave her out
Speaker 2: of this. I don't know it was funny that. I'm
Speaker 2: sorry it was. It was I was trying to commit
Speaker 2: to you out that was great. It was it was
Speaker 2: just you said they survived the night, and stuff is
Speaker 2: out to kill birds all the time. Cats mostly, I
Speaker 2: think I think they've got mostly predators, which was gent
Speaker 2: a way as a comic. That's kind of we're dealing
Speaker 2: with that too. Birds are female comics. Birds are female
Speaker 2: comments and kind of trill and we go shut the
Speaker 2: Oh my god, can you can you say that differently?
Speaker 2: I'm trying to sleep, lady. He stop talking. Let me
Speaker 2: focus on your breath. That's a chicken. I'll be putting
Speaker 2: my titties out too. In solidarit you do get on TV?
Speaker 2: Did you re HBO? One of the first things ever
Speaker 2: got it was I was basically a sex worker on
Speaker 2: high maintenance and my agent was like, they're asking for
Speaker 2: forefront of we're gonna settle for reear. I said, why
Speaker 2: can we do full front? They say, okay, your first
Speaker 2: time on TV. Don't show your dick because then you
Speaker 2: have no place to go. I mean you could just
Speaker 2: turn around. Well, what you mean interesting, senior dick? They
Speaker 2: have ever seen your butt? No, but you got to
Speaker 2: show the butt first. You usually show both. You show,
Speaker 2: you're showing, you're showing, but to usually yeah, if you're
Speaker 2: show my dick on my butt, you're you are a
Speaker 2: very specific I'm an oddly proportioned man. Congress on that dick.
Speaker 2: What are you talking about? You gotta tell me to
Speaker 2: put my dick away? Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna try.
Speaker 1: To sneak it into the butt shot.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm gonna go you but every time over, every time.
Speaker 2: Oh here's what I got. This private that's for me,
Speaker 2: and no shout. I looked down there. This is mine,
Speaker 2: this is my dick. I'm looking at it. We're connecting.
Speaker 2: Oh wait till you did you full frontal or I've
Speaker 2: shown my butt. I haven't shown I haven't shown my
Speaker 2: my dick on camera. I've done like scenes in my underwear.
Speaker 2: So like if you get and then like, there are
Speaker 2: enough speedo pictures that if people know trigonometry, they can
Speaker 2: do the yeah, well if we look at this beast sign,
Speaker 2: yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, good for you for pulling up there.
Speaker 1: I won't paid attention. No, I just have little things
Speaker 1: that I remember that I can pull out to trick
Speaker 1: people who don't know math.
Speaker 2: Okay, because okay, and tell me if y'all did this
Speaker 2: happened y'all. Eleventh and twelfth grade math to me was
Speaker 2: the performance of math up tenth grade. I was in
Speaker 2: a college algebra, a little bit of geometry. I still
Speaker 2: got you. I understand why radius is important, area is important.
Speaker 2: When we got to trick and like, really we're messing
Speaker 2: around on the Texas instrument calculators.
Speaker 1: Yeah, oh yeah. It was all just learning how to
Speaker 1: learning how to pass the test, yeah, learning how to
Speaker 1: put stuff into that calculator, and then also playing Mario Brothers.
Speaker 2: Did you guys have computer at Mario games on your calculator? Yeah?
Speaker 1: But then I don't.
Speaker 2: I don't understand what that math was, you know, I haven't.
Speaker 2: I know you're supposed to be able to use it
Speaker 2: to like see the sun or something or like, No,
Speaker 2: that's how you can look at it. Yeah, but I don't.
Speaker 2: If you learn the math, you could stare directly at it,
Speaker 2: even during clips. You could just keep staring because you
Speaker 2: know mad.
Speaker 1: What happens though if you stare at her clip like
Speaker 1: you're trying to do a pillar, so you're gonna fry
Speaker 1: your eyeballs?
Speaker 2: Wait, you went biblical? Who did that happen to?
Speaker 5: Why?
Speaker 2: It's not a literal lots? Why she turned back? Which
Speaker 2: which one are you asking? Who are you asking?
Speaker 1: Who got their eyeballs?
Speaker 2: Right? Yeah? The pillar assault was lots of white. I
Speaker 2: went straight. He was like, we don't want her anymore?
Speaker 2: Yea god fire bomb in that city, not for being gay,
Speaker 2: but for trying to rape angels. Everyone who doesn't know
Speaker 2: about in the morning, you're mispronouncing it's rape an No,
Speaker 2: they were trying and know they were angel Yeah, so
Speaker 2: taken off of YouTube. Well well okay, dd so Lit
Speaker 2: welcome these angels into his home and then the men
Speaker 2: of the village were like them. Sometimes it was cute.
Speaker 2: Hey hey, so it was gang rape but gay. I
Speaker 2: think the gang was the priority. Yeah, was it? They
Speaker 2: were boy angels? Are there a lot of girl angels? Well?
Speaker 4: Angel?
Speaker 2: I mean, but I think there was mostly just wings
Speaker 2: and flames and eyeball angel. I saw someone do angelies
Speaker 2: halloweenco still recently, can I show y'all? No, no, no,
Speaker 2: it was the white girls, that's what. Oh, that's so funny. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I I don't even remember what we were talking about.
Speaker 2: Girl angels.
Speaker 3: Oh, girl angels. I don't know any I don't know
Speaker 3: that the Bible is writing about them. We we sort
Speaker 3: of they are the Harley Quinn of our world. We
Speaker 3: created those afterwards, and everybody was like, yeah.
Speaker 2: That's been the whole time. Yeah, yeah, because there's nothing
Speaker 2: by name, right, No, all the archangels are boys. Yeah,
Speaker 2: Michael and Gabriel and stuff. But I do think the
Speaker 2: rape was more the priority. Yeah, I didn't. I didn't
Speaker 2: know that they were coming for that. For that, I
Speaker 2: guess Angel, but Angel Booty and I I didn't have
Speaker 2: that Angelo cake that works on two levels.
Speaker 1: That was that was trigonometry, that Texas.
Speaker 2: That was a Pharaoh mont verse. Yeah, I think, Uh,
Speaker 2: what the fuck are we talking about? I don't know.
Speaker 2: I don't really know. I got dizzy. I've loved you said.
Speaker 2: You said, if you know the trigonometry, you can look
Speaker 2: at the sun, you said, burned retinas. Bird talking about
Speaker 2: the community of celebrities, and one of the things that
Speaker 2: it reminds me of is how often I don't think
Speaker 2: average people necessarily know this, but how often celebrities are
Speaker 2: constantly being invited into the same room with each other?
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, or like event after event after event, you
Speaker 3: are being asked to like share space. Be it like premieres,
Speaker 3: be it like weird sales events, your PR works with
Speaker 3: this other group that also is throwing a party that
Speaker 3: it'd be cool for y'all to show up to. And
Speaker 3: so in that way, I think a bunch of celebrities
Speaker 3: meet each other and then that performer. Development kicks in
Speaker 3: and you go, well I met you already where people
Speaker 3: are looking all the Yeah.
Speaker 2: This this was gonna make it the ebony. Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 2: This is an opportunity man to had that. I've had
Speaker 2: that moment. I just can't wait with all quit.
Speaker 1: If I get to take a picture with somebody and
Speaker 1: I know it's going into embony, that's good enough for me.
Speaker 2: Franchise someone it is. I think there. I think they're
Speaker 2: just the communities are smaller and more specific. Like if
Speaker 2: my mom said that about black out queer male comedians,
Speaker 2: I'd be like, yeah, I can text Dwayne, I can
Speaker 2: Tex Solomon, I can text Alex.
Speaker 1: Like that would be that would be a fact that
Speaker 1: you have a group. That would be a toxic group
Speaker 1: chat from what I know of you individually.
Speaker 2: For me, Alex and Dwayne took a picture I think
Speaker 2: in Austin together randomly at a club and I posted
Speaker 2: it and someone's like, yeah, I think that's all of them,
Speaker 2: got them. Yeah. If there would have been a fire
Speaker 2: that night, we would have lost. It'd be really fun.
Speaker 1: Good First, It's like if me and Reggie con question
Speaker 1: Mandal take a picture, I'm telling you comic though we
Speaker 1: knew Mandel was coming, like he's going to l a. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: how many funny shirts are the funny shirts in the city?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Well, I as I'll always think the praise of
Speaker 2: mandal and I remember when also just like truly, he
Speaker 2: is the funniest person who, at least up until this point,
Speaker 2: always would say, Man, I'm about to wrap it up.
Speaker 2: I don't want to do comedy no more. I'm about
Speaker 2: to get the CDL headliners for y'all.
Speaker 1: You say you wanted to be the greatest feature of
Speaker 1: all time. You forget that, though, Because I feel that
Speaker 1: in my heart all the time, I'm calling it out now.
Speaker 3: And Mandol's a dear friend. I love him with all
Speaker 3: of my heart. I think he's a goddamn liar. I
Speaker 3: think he knows that he's the funniest. Say you don't
Speaker 3: think he can do a backflip. I think he knows
Speaker 3: he's the funniest human being on the planet. And I
Speaker 3: think this is all a ruse to get us to
Speaker 3: just let him slide on a bunch of goofy ship
Speaker 3: till he ascends past.
Speaker 1: Every man, not knowing anybody's gonna be That's gonna be
Speaker 1: peak mandlin.
Speaker 2: He's gonna put them hats on and mean it. Oh yeah,
Speaker 2: you think when he goes, hey, y'all be easy. He
Speaker 2: gets in the truck last be like, he's gonna be like,
Speaker 2: make me a dog that looks like a monky which
Speaker 2: sleeves down the air walking around. Man is funny because
Speaker 2: Mandel also utilizes the fact that he can say any
Speaker 2: word funnier than you.
Speaker 1: So him saying it's like a tough thing. Yeah, those
Speaker 1: people are always you can't even fight it.
Speaker 2: Him saying Japan and then not being racist. But man,
Speaker 2: a lot of people would go racial. He just went silly.
Speaker 2: Pure silly. Silly is so silly, is like ethanol. You
Speaker 2: gotta cut it. You got pure silly. I'm what that
Speaker 2: man lives in a silly that I have not yet found.
Speaker 2: There's a freedom in then. I don't know that I
Speaker 2: ever will find it in that way.
Speaker 3: I'm deeply envious, so busy trying to be cute, but
Speaker 3: I and I'll say, I'm not going to give up
Speaker 3: on being cute, and I'm also not going to give
Speaker 3: up on him, so he can cut the ruse.
Speaker 2: I know you're lying.
Speaker 1: That's I'm trying to get sillier. Yeah, I'm too grounded.
Speaker 1: I hate whimsy.
Speaker 2: You are anti silly at times.
Speaker 1: It kind of pisses me off.
Speaker 2: You don't cut that silly shit out. I just sometimes
Speaker 2: here sometime.
Speaker 1: Yeah, sometimes very silly sometimes, but like most of the
Speaker 1: time it makes me angry.
Speaker 3: I get so mad you you are silly, but you
Speaker 3: like to return to straight man. Yeah, like you like
Speaker 3: to get silly than a motherfucker, but then be like, hey,
Speaker 3: but stop.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, since we are speaking of like being silly
Speaker 2: and a reverence, are y'all noticing so many comics kind
Speaker 2: of they skip silly and go to transgressive when they
Speaker 2: could be silly about a thing instead of being like
Speaker 2: angry about it.
Speaker 1: I think that's because they don't have that gear though,
Speaker 1: because silly I do think coincides with actual humor. I think, yeah,
Speaker 1: silly is funny, and I think a lot of people.
Speaker 1: You know what it is, it's all these new cool guys.
Speaker 1: Because we talk about say, all these new cool guys,
Speaker 1: cool guys are the least silly.
Speaker 2: And guess what, and guess what, it's even more than
Speaker 2: just guys who think they're cool. It's men who think
Speaker 2: they're the manliest man. Okay you if you if you
Speaker 2: think you're a manly comedian, a manly comedian, nigga. We
Speaker 2: both wear makeup, yeah, talking, we're both on stage doing poems.
Speaker 2: Basic am I am as desperate as you are. Yeah,
Speaker 2: it's like.
Speaker 1: Not because you are. You get to do that, because
Speaker 1: they get to do that, because there's no.
Speaker 2: Man over you.
Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, because I think they saw it. I think
Speaker 1: a few kind of tough guys seen it and they
Speaker 1: were like, oh yeah, sweet over you. I'm just kind
Speaker 1: of guy, know is Sam J? That's the that's my mind,
Speaker 1: know that ship Sam.
Speaker 2: Sam Jay comes and said, you go, hey your chance?
Speaker 2: Yeah you go, hey, ship. I don't know how he
Speaker 2: stuff about that, laugh about laughing. Sam Jay is our
Speaker 2: omar about that laughing? Sam J shows up and everyone goes, hey, hey, hey,
Speaker 2: hey man, how about that giggling. I've seen it.
Speaker 1: I've seen I've seen talking about I've seen people be
Speaker 1: nice to me because I'm with Sam.
Speaker 2: I like being a letter. She makes me feel safe.
Speaker 2: I like it. I make you feel Yeah, spoon big
Speaker 2: spoons were come over to a group of people talking
Speaker 2: and be like, what's so funny? We'll be like nothing,
Speaker 2: you like, nothing, No, what's so funny? Nothing? Nothing. We
Speaker 2: were talking about basketballn't I think as far as men
Speaker 2: strength and manliness, shut the funk up. That's not the
Speaker 2: point of the game that we play.
Speaker 1: It's not it's it's such a it's such a crazy ruse.
Speaker 1: And I get it because there's a lot of men
Speaker 1: looking for whatever on the internet. Daddy say, yeah, all
Speaker 1: that ship, but like, but like, that's not We're dumb
Speaker 1: over here, man Like.
Speaker 2: We're not. They but they also think, they think, and
Speaker 2: I can speak on they think that the end of
Speaker 2: all of this manly ship is success in a very
Speaker 2: I get a convertible and a bunch of money and
Speaker 2: a bunch of big titty women sort of way. And
Speaker 2: you go, nigga, this is comedy. You getting drink tickets
Speaker 2: for most of it, and at the end of it,
Speaker 2: maybe you get a girl with cool boobs and tattoos.
Speaker 2: Maybe you are not getting action star ship because you
Speaker 2: chose comedy.
Speaker 1: That's what you're doing over here.
Speaker 2: You wanted to hoop, Yeah, you just weren't good enough
Speaker 2: at sports to do that. So what do you want?
Speaker 2: Because I knew I was I wasn't gonna make it.
Speaker 2: I knew the whole time. That's why I was like,
Speaker 2: I'll be the funny one on the team. Yeah. I
Speaker 2: was just not gonna get taller. And that's OK. That
Speaker 2: was it. I was scared about that basket. Yeah, I
Speaker 2: don't feel it. Every time I learned a decent mid
Speaker 2: range that got me through a lot of ship. Yeah,
Speaker 2: let that out like that.
Speaker 3: There was a part of my brain that just wasn't
Speaker 3: strong enough to be able to be like a nigga
Speaker 3: at the rim.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and so I was. I knew it wasn't happening. Yeah,
Speaker 2: it just is, y'all can accept you want to how
Speaker 2: tough you have to be to be like less than
Speaker 2: like six three to be good at basketball, you have
Speaker 2: to be Derek Rose. You have to be a gang member. Yes, yeah,
Speaker 2: you have to be a gang member at least affiliate.
Speaker 2: To be careful, you gotta go back. Hey, we're not
Speaker 2: here to decide who is. We just know that his
Speaker 2: brother kept him safe.
Speaker 1: You have to be tough enough to achieve your childhood
Speaker 1: dream and have it not show on your face. Bro
Speaker 1: Scotch dropping And then I couldn't.
Speaker 2: I would.
Speaker 1: There are things Dereck's Rose has done in his career
Speaker 1: that would make me cry. I would cry. I would
Speaker 1: cry much.
Speaker 2: Like okay, much like basketball right now. I think also
Speaker 2: people discuss comedy through an a historical lens. So right
Speaker 2: now everyone says, oh, basketball is not great. I go,
Speaker 2: basketball is amazing. I don't know why, y'all y'all lieing.
Speaker 2: It's the same with people go oh, you know, especially honestly,
Speaker 2: especially black people, when it discussed comedy. Now, I go,
Speaker 2: wait a second, nigga, are you watching? Are you or
Speaker 2: are you just remembering what you used to love? Because
Speaker 2: I watched comed of you too, But what are you
Speaker 2: watching currently? I don't think.
Speaker 1: I don't think anybody watches comedy. I think people watch clips.
Speaker 1: I think they like personalities. I think people listening I
Speaker 1: don't even know if they watch clips. If there's when
Speaker 1: they clips. I think they watch personality. I think they
Speaker 1: watch clips that give insight into your personality or give
Speaker 1: your politics, and they align themselves.
Speaker 2: I think the I think the true fan base of
Speaker 2: comedy are people who do comedy. Oh We've been talking
Speaker 2: about that a lot, like a handful. I'm meant to
Speaker 2: watch the majority of the common and I think it's just.
Speaker 1: They always want to do it.
Speaker 2: Some of my fans they know they can't because they
Speaker 2: can't because they have they have trouble making eye contact
Speaker 2: in the meet and Greek. I said, well, maybe you
Speaker 2: ain't going. We all do meet and Greek, all of us.
Speaker 2: It's different comedy people. It's nice to do me Greeks
Speaker 2: more games. Yeah, well because that day. Yeah, how we
Speaker 2: spelling me? How we spelling me to me? You know,
Speaker 2: you know there's a whole app for me and Greek
Speaker 2: that simzy nippy. But whenever, you know, like whenever you
Speaker 2: plan a place and like the queer people and the
Speaker 2: black people show up and they're happy to be there,
Speaker 2: they do want a picture with a comedian because they
Speaker 2: did kind of go out of their way to go
Speaker 2: to the space. That's not necessarily cool young queer and black.
Speaker 2: Like that does happen, not, that doesn't happen in that way.
Speaker 1: For me, it happens like when I'm in Springfield, Missouri
Speaker 1: and this guy comes up, he's like all the podcast,
Speaker 1: he's like, I just married a white girl and I
Speaker 1: live out here exclusively now. And then the same man
Speaker 1: says to me, I only eat black foods, okay, And
Speaker 1: then you do have and then you do have to
Speaker 1: go what does that mean?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Yeah, and then he tells me macaroni and cheese like
Speaker 1: he likes it down for you. I got a picture
Speaker 1: of I'll show you guys after I got a picture
Speaker 1: of him in my phone.
Speaker 2: Okay, who's cooking these foods for him?
Speaker 1: Though I think he does. I don't think he lets
Speaker 1: a white lady cook. She didn't even come to the show.
Speaker 1: Show wanted to know.
Speaker 3: He honors the he he recognizes that he made a
Speaker 3: mistake and he honors.
Speaker 1: Yeah. It was at Springfield, Missouri. It's when I did
Speaker 1: that bring David a plate show where people were bringing
Speaker 1: me plates.
Speaker 2: What he brought a plate and.
Speaker 3: It's like, look, I do want you to know that
Speaker 3: white hands did touch this plate, but not the food
Speaker 3: on top.
Speaker 2: Of exactly she put the foil on it. That's because
Speaker 2: he's like Dirk to have the ten four play in
Speaker 2: the tunnel. That black woman said, maybe put put something
Speaker 2: on your wreath, don't put them on your miill. Derek,
Speaker 2: I baked that chicken. Go ahead, man, but that such
Speaker 2: a German white man thing to do is to have
Speaker 2: a black woman and be like, you don't eat that food.
Speaker 2: He's like, I'm gonna eat my wife's food. Don't make
Speaker 2: fun of me. You want her to be here. I'm
Speaker 2: a multimion there, but I'm respecting food.
Speaker 1: Man.
Speaker 2: I want to take leftover's places when I'm a multi
Speaker 2: This seems cool. Have you what have you done anything
Speaker 2: like that? Have you done anything recently? No? What's the
Speaker 2: what's the blackest thing you've done in in recent history
Speaker 2: that is blacker than where you are? You know what
Speaker 2: I mean? Or like, you do something and you look
Speaker 2: around and go, oh, that was pretty black of me.
Speaker 2: I lie dirt bringing a plate. Yeah, damn. We regularly do.
Speaker 3: Like uh, like big We'll have like backyard parties and
Speaker 3: ship and I don't always realize how black the party
Speaker 3: is constructed until some white people show up, and then
Speaker 3: it becomes they are the only ones there, and everybody's
Speaker 3: like talking very loud, playing taboo. Like we we ordered
Speaker 3: from Stevie's, which is like creole food. Yeah, unbelievable. Ship,
Speaker 3: and like we we've just like we've put out a
Speaker 3: whole fucking yeah, a cookout of sorts and then here
Speaker 3: comes my white friend.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and they don't we don't have anything for them.
Speaker 2: That's it's more that energy.
Speaker 1: That's a better story for them anyways. I think, so yeah,
Speaker 1: they're happier that they got there. I truly feel like
Speaker 1: yeah I was. I go like, no, it's my friend,
Speaker 1: and then they show up. I'm like, fuck, I don't
Speaker 1: know how to I guess you could be my neighbor.
Speaker 2: I only asked that because the last thing that I
Speaker 2: did where I was like, oh, okay, they're like I
Speaker 2: was treating I was interviewing people at sun Dance for Vulture,
Speaker 2: and I was treating the black cast so different. I
Speaker 2: was their publicisers be like everyone be like, do y'all
Speaker 2: want to go? They say, I gotta go.
Speaker 1: They'd be like, no, not every entertainment space where you
Speaker 1: try to, Like, I feel like every entertainment space, so
Speaker 1: you you gravitate towards the black people.
Speaker 2: Feel like, I'm prove my mama right like this.
Speaker 1: No, I think I don't know back to you. I
Speaker 1: think your mom was closer than you.
Speaker 2: You want to know. I get it because it comes
Speaker 2: from your mom and you don't.
Speaker 1: Know nothing about show business. This is what I do
Speaker 1: and you don't want to have inside.
Speaker 2: I know that lady in apology. I think I think
Speaker 2: she kind I think she's kind of right, like, hey,
Speaker 2: I'll send it back to Jacksonville. She's a good mama,
Speaker 2: and she told you right.
Speaker 1: It's cool man, send it back to Duval County.
Speaker 2: All right, we need to say one more break. Well,
Speaker 2: we're gonna wrap this thing up more. J Jorden one,
Speaker 2: my mama told me I actually am one point four
Speaker 2: percent my Jerry and African. I'm a sister. Okay, we're
Speaker 2: back brothers. Sisters. However minimum that's what I mean. That's
Speaker 2: what he looked at me, said one point five. I
Speaker 2: can see it on you at one point five some stuff,
Speaker 2: he said, Now, you little.
Speaker 1: I'm smelling you got that day. Listen, we could talk
Speaker 1: about our brand energy drinks all day here.
Speaker 2: We're here because we got a voicemail. Yeah, we got
Speaker 2: a voicemail. We're gonna play a really fun voicemail for you.
Speaker 5: Now, Yo, what a DG and uh Langston, I fuck
Speaker 5: with Bustown, I beat Jack. I watched that shit all
Speaker 5: the time, this beach out the meal and I wanted
Speaker 5: to comment on the subject. I just heard you talking
Speaker 5: about about Barbers. I've been thinking about this ship for
Speaker 5: like nine days since I went to the New barber,
Speaker 5: and are you fucking my whole barber for like twenty years,
Speaker 5: but this new barber, I cut in this chair and
Speaker 5: like y'all say, sometime you's on our pose your eyes.
Speaker 5: And I felt this motherfucker like saving my ear here,
Speaker 5: And so I've been thinking, like nobody ever say my
Speaker 5: ear like I said. My barber would come out here
Speaker 5: for twenty years. He never did no ship like that,
Speaker 5: And I always noticed the ear hair.
Speaker 2: But from the gate, can we pose from you?
Speaker 5: Gotta be a little.
Speaker 2: Let him fel let him no regret, let him fits.
Speaker 2: You literally hit a pause, not a figure than pause.
Speaker 2: He said, can we pause that? You could just say pause?
Speaker 2: He digging, he digging in your ear hole. He said,
Speaker 2: I noticed the ear He said, I knew the whole time. Yeah,
Speaker 2: he said, I was never gonna address it. Man. Now
Speaker 2: he's saying, shame on this man for addressing the intimacy
Speaker 2: among young black men, because you do we hear the
Speaker 2: top of this. He said, you know, I was suck
Speaker 2: with my old barber. It sounds like he's gonna say,
Speaker 2: old lady, no, my old barber for twenty years. I
Speaker 2: went to this new barber. I said, in the chair.
Speaker 2: I closed my eyes. He digging in my ear hole. Yeah,
Speaker 2: he flicking my my ear, my ear. He didn't like, Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: I'm having an ear gas trip. He dropped.
Speaker 1: Oh wait, let's hear the rest of them.
Speaker 2: I do want to hear. And I believe we paused
Speaker 2: that kind of gag. I think he was saying, I
Speaker 2: think we can find the kind of gay. Ye.
Speaker 5: He never did know ship like that, and I always
Speaker 5: noticed the ear hair. But barber is gay, like he's
Speaker 5: mother fuck. You gotta be a little gay to be,
Speaker 5: especially a good one like a hairdresser or something, because
Speaker 5: like it makes sense. I don't see that movie Good
Speaker 5: Hair with the motherfucker smack Will Smith and.
Speaker 2: Composition Smack Will That's.
Speaker 1: That's what.
Speaker 2: That's what we're gonna say. You know this nigga, smack
Speaker 2: Will Smith, this motherfucker is coming from a nigger ass dimension,
Speaker 2: he said. Because I thought he was gonna say it
Speaker 2: felt gay to give the ear hair clip, he said, thinking, no,
Speaker 2: I'm thinking about it. To be a barber, you gotta
Speaker 2: be a little yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so that the levels are barbering then hairdressing.
Speaker 2: You're saying there's an optimism here. Yeah, you're not hearing
Speaker 2: this as as hate speech, and I'm hearing him go,
Speaker 2: I want a detailed, oriented man who really cares about
Speaker 2: how good men look. Oh here, yeah, he is telling
Speaker 2: this as a positive. I think this ship ends up experience.
Speaker 2: I think this ship ends up pros the It sounds
Speaker 2: like what he's saying is only a man knows what
Speaker 2: a man me. Wow, I bring Will Smith back into it.
Speaker 2: Let's find out. I'm very excited. Okay, that's true here with.
Speaker 5: The mother Will Smith and the competition that they had
Speaker 5: at the end, they dudes, and then I used to
Speaker 5: get my haircut by his.
Speaker 1: Pause like pause, shout out to Deborah. She's really going
Speaker 1: through it. She's putting up with a lot of sounds. Okay,
Speaker 1: and he watched buzz Down.
Speaker 2: Yeah, no, this is this is my fami. I think
Speaker 2: this is a good guy. I think so too. Let's see,
Speaker 2: let's see where this headed, because we've been it's a
Speaker 2: journey to get this. It's taking a minute. So we
Speaker 2: found out about three barbers now.
Speaker 1: Which is confusing to me because twenty years nine days
Speaker 1: he was sneaking off and you were sneaking off with that.
Speaker 2: Okay, let's let's let's find out more.
Speaker 5: About that somebody miss named Deba. She said, have me
Speaker 5: crispy and like even if they don't like they could
Speaker 5: be d l because why you want to be that
Speaker 5: close to another man and that's on their hand and.
Speaker 2: Want me to look good?
Speaker 5: Why you want another man to be looking good? Like?
Speaker 5: I mean, no, knock to the barbers and keep doing
Speaker 5: y'all things.
Speaker 2: We need y'all book.
Speaker 5: I think they gave you, don't be damned little bit,
Speaker 5: especially to be good about all the masculine, like super
Speaker 5: hard barbers like they do the Boat'll be good your
Speaker 5: barber gay.
Speaker 2: You're gonna be Christian, You're gonna be chrispy. All right, man, listen,
Speaker 2: we got there. Yeah. He does sa't nothing about gay people.
Speaker 2: He just said, if you're a barber and you are
Speaker 2: just invested in men's looks, I need you bill a
Speaker 2: little gay to care about your profession.
Speaker 3: And I think this is a prime example of when
Speaker 3: of when culture the language is not necessarily being presented
Speaker 3: in a way where you go like, oh, this is
Speaker 3: an ally, well that's one percent ally logic. Yeah, that's
Speaker 3: a person fully committed to supporting the gay community. They
Speaker 3: just don't necessarily have all the language that we considered.
Speaker 2: So you know, you know where the Venn diagram is
Speaker 2: for gay men and barbers. Ahead is a head ahead?
Speaker 2: Add Yeah he's there.
Speaker 1: He's no.
Speaker 2: I think he's I like this.
Speaker 1: I think he's a good guy.
Speaker 2: You know. Yeah, be nice to even though y'all wearing
Speaker 2: the same south Pole jeans. Be nice, you know, be
Speaker 2: a little bit more respectful to Deborah.
Speaker 5: Or maybe not.
Speaker 2: We don't know how Dever spoke. She could be a bit,
Speaker 2: but had him crispy, never did have him. He's worried
Speaker 2: about all he's Yeah, he said he doesn't want the
Speaker 2: hard niggas well, because think about it, like the real
Speaker 2: masculine barbers, like the hands, all big and clumsy, they
Speaker 2: wust to be on the.
Speaker 1: I hate a popularized barber. Yeah, I hate somebody replaying
Speaker 1: high school in the barber. Never the best guy.
Speaker 2: He's talking about big game. I don't like when they
Speaker 2: moved my head rough Yeah, yeah, you know what I mean. Like,
Speaker 2: don't be rough with me, yeah nice, Be careful with me,
Speaker 2: Be careful, be careful with me. Hey, hey a little hey, Hey,
Speaker 2: who do you think is it? You're gonna be taking
Speaker 2: me in kind of place? I know we're not friends,
Speaker 2: but we were friends right now.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, you'd be just rough. Yeah yeah, I got
Speaker 1: the cape on come on, man, I'm superman. I got
Speaker 1: the marathon continuous capon. That don't got nothing to do
Speaker 1: with what happens to this barber shop. I have a
Speaker 1: theory that Nipsey Hustle is represented in every single barbershop
Speaker 1: from here to the Mississippi. That's one way, or any
Speaker 1: picture or a mural in a picture, a mural, a
Speaker 1: cape that says marathon, there is some Nipsy memorabilia of
Speaker 1: some sort in every single barbershop.
Speaker 2: Kind of touched every barber shop.
Speaker 1: I know my barber in Denver had hell a marathon ship,
Speaker 1: John Jones from Denver.
Speaker 2: But that's not l a different. That's not that crazy.
Speaker 2: It's pretty crazy. It's pretty far really, it's.
Speaker 3: But culturally in a lot of I mean, it's right,
Speaker 3: I think Denver is more uh like rural than we
Speaker 3: think it will relax.
Speaker 2: Now, yeah, chances were saying earlier about how it's just mostly.
Speaker 1: This is when he gets a bone in his nose.
Speaker 1: You start here, and then it's gorilla masks where.
Speaker 2: White people rub sticks together. Yeah, yeah, it's where the
Speaker 2: white people talk like they're they're they have a click language.
Speaker 1: That's the funniest thing because I don't think it click.
Speaker 1: I don't think it would be clicked. If if you
Speaker 1: had like a tonal relation, if you had a tonal
Speaker 1: language for white people, it would be various size, Yeah,
Speaker 1: like that would instead of clicks, it would be size.
Speaker 2: Like like like white liberal.
Speaker 1: Yeah, with getting an order rock, you.
Speaker 2: Know what I mean?
Speaker 3: That would think that's one hundred per I think it
Speaker 3: would be totally Wow, that's really beautiful.
Speaker 2: That's their clickling.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And why do you bring it up to you
Speaker 1: guys all the time?
Speaker 2: Too?
Speaker 1: Do you speak side?
Speaker 2: Do you speak side? White people? You gotta start speaking side.
Speaker 2: Come on, we we know you speak SiGe. You can
Speaker 2: speak speak at home. They don't speak, they don't. But
Speaker 2: I like to see a SI renaissance. We get some
Speaker 2: side restaurants. Stop losing your side recipes. Come on. I
Speaker 2: haven't asked y'all, and I feel like, but y'all will
Speaker 2: have opinions. What's going on with y'all? Girls?
Speaker 1: Sidney Sweeney that's not I don't know. That was the
Speaker 1: one who just had her titties up.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's what I know. Yeah, that's in the kind
Speaker 2: of liquid she was wearing, like Alex mac Yeah, I
Speaker 2: think childhood celebrity is bad for everybody.
Speaker 1: Was she drunk?
Speaker 5: Is she?
Speaker 2: I don't know. I think she was young enough that
Speaker 2: that brain is mushed because euphoria. Because because you were
Speaker 2: you were not only a child, but you were a
Speaker 2: babbitch as a child. Everybody chose to ignore the fact that.
Speaker 3: You're a Yeah, you were, you were, you were cast
Speaker 3: as a child. Bro eighteen is a baby, Yeah, don't.
Speaker 3: I'm too far past that to think that that's a
Speaker 3: grown person.
Speaker 2: That was a baby.
Speaker 3: And we went, I want to fuck that baby, and
Speaker 3: now that baby is acting up and I don't think
Speaker 3: we we are going to be able to figure that out.
Speaker 1: He's the one with the white jeans.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's right, blue.
Speaker 1: But the thing was like she got a great.
Speaker 2: White jeans, like look at these, look at these, look
Speaker 2: at these white jeans. Blue wink, Yeah, great blue jeans.
Speaker 3: And I don't even think that that was I think
Speaker 3: she probably has a lot of malicious people in her
Speaker 3: corner that were happy for her to do that. But
Speaker 3: I don't think that's an evolved enough person to know
Speaker 3: what they were doing.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean to bron and I, my god, is
Speaker 2: that you know what I mean? If that's not a
Speaker 2: person being preyed upon, I don't know, kind of famous
Speaker 2: for praying on people and taking.
Speaker 1: Well, how she gets Sydney's ways, Versionsy's.
Speaker 2: Way, Sinney's way, that's that's a that's a drug heist
Speaker 2: movie City's version version. Oh my god, that's honestly not
Speaker 2: my angle. I don't really know much over that. I
Speaker 2: was just I was noticing that everyone was talking about
Speaker 2: her titties this week because she had them out. And
Speaker 2: I'll I knew it made it to y'all. I knew
Speaker 2: it made it to y'all. And I'm sure I didn't
Speaker 2: make it to you, like I'm sure some of my
Speaker 2: didn't make it to you. I'm sure some of my
Speaker 2: humanizing oh my god, you could drive a truck through
Speaker 2: that po.
Speaker 11: Hey, I'm sure some of my humanizing of Sidney Sweetey
Speaker 11: perhaps comes from things I may have seen, things that
Speaker 11: maybe I appreciated more than King.
Speaker 1: Oh man, I never seen you room like that.
Speaker 2: I am, I am human, just like everyone else. I
Speaker 2: scrolled with one hand, just like everyone else. Oh my god,
Speaker 2: that's a that's a as as a bisexual journey. Smollette
Speaker 2: did it for me this week. She journey. I'm getting it.
Speaker 2: You got some new things. What journey, pus? You have
Speaker 2: some journey? She looks so good. I went you know what?
Speaker 2: Your brother was beat up? Somebody beat that boy. Hold
Speaker 2: on it. We're done. We did it. Jay, this is great.
Speaker 2: Can you tell the people where they can find you? Well?
Speaker 2: You in on social media at j Jorden j y
Speaker 2: j U r d e n on all social media
Speaker 2: including the Nazi app up Twitter. I'm still there in
Speaker 2: the Good Fight Resistance. Also the special. Yes, ma'am, it's
Speaker 2: on Hulu. You can watch it. It's full of joke.
Speaker 2: If you like every episode I'm on when it comes
Speaker 2: to MoMA told me you'll love the special. There we
Speaker 2: got the special Bory which you got?
Speaker 1: Cool guy joke eighty seven On Instagram. You can find
Speaker 1: me apparently a journey small Let's dmut eves by you?
Speaker 1: Do you want to think about the other day that
Speaker 1: I always confused with the eaves by You.
Speaker 2: Is Jason's lyrics. Wow, they're very different.
Speaker 1: From I know, but I think the covers were the same.
Speaker 1: The covers of the vhs were the same tone. Yeah no,
Speaker 1: you're not making a big they are black movie. No
Speaker 1: no no no no no no, not just but like
Speaker 1: the like I think they were.
Speaker 2: Physically Holiday Heart and baby Boy Wow. You can follow
Speaker 2: me at Langston Kerrman on all social media platforms. You
Speaker 2: can see me on tour. I'm still on the Aspiring
Speaker 2: Deadbeat Tour uh and you can follow us at my
Speaker 2: Mama Told Me pod or whatever the fuck it is
Speaker 2: on Instagram and Twitter and and not Twitter, Instagram and
Speaker 2: TikTok TikTok and and most importantly, send us your drops,
Speaker 2: your emails. If you want to tell us what else
Speaker 2: you saw in them, Sydney Sweeney photo, send it all
Speaker 2: to my Mama pod at gmail dot com.
Speaker 1: Also Deborah, if you want to rebuttal yeah eight four
Speaker 1: Little Moms A four four A Little Moms.
Speaker 3: Call us back, Deborah. We want to hear from you,
Speaker 3: like subscribe, rate review, look at them pictures? Bye, bitch,
Speaker 3: Hey bitch?
Speaker 2: Is that one my Mama told Me? Is a production
Speaker 2: of Will Ferrell's Big Money Players Network and iHeart podcasts.
Speaker 1: Created and hosted by Langston Krekt, co hosted by David Bori,
Speaker 1: executive produced by Will Ferrell, Hansani and Olivia Akilon.
Speaker 2: Co produced by Bee Wayne.
Speaker 1: Edited and engineered by Justin Komon, music by Nick Chambers.
Speaker 2: Artwork by Dogone. You can now watch episodes My Mama
Speaker 2: Told Me on YouTube. Follow that my Mama Told Me
Speaker 2: and subscribe to our channel