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Speaker 1: My identical twin sister wants me to stand in for

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Speaker 1: her at her wedding. Would I be the a hole

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Speaker 1: for saying, Hellna.

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Speaker 2: She wants her future husband to kiss her sister. Yes,

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Speaker 2: maybe that's her thing.

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Speaker 1: Maybe it's a it's a little bit of a polygamous steal,

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Speaker 1: a little bit of a.

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Speaker 3: Mister k sister, mister sister sister kissed to mister.

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Speaker 1: Mister missed his sister.

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Speaker 2: Mister mister sister's sister.

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Speaker 1: Kister, mister missus sister. Yes, I thirty female, have an

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Speaker 1: identical twin sister, and for the purposes of anonymity, I

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Speaker 1: will call her Jess. Say yes to the Jess. Jess

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Speaker 1: and I look so much alike that it can be freaky.

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Speaker 1: At one point, when we were still infants, they had

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Speaker 1: to draw a little dot at the bottom of one

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Speaker 1: of our feet just so they could keep track of

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Speaker 1: who is who for medical reasons. What are the medical reasons.

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Speaker 2: If you're identical?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, or your organs identical? Two? What medical reasons would

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Speaker 1: you have if you're identical? Doc?

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Speaker 2: Doctor Donner? Doctor?

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Speaker 1: My mom adored the fact that Jess and I were

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Speaker 1: cute baby twin girls and treated us like precious little

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Speaker 1: dolls who she would frequently dress alike and always make

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Speaker 1: us do things together, which low key kind of freaky

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Speaker 1: if out in public. Think of any horror movie.

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Speaker 2: Always to twins, Always.

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Speaker 1: To twin girls dress the same. We all fuck and

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Speaker 1: they're saying some creepy like nursery rhyme, ring around the

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Speaker 1: rosy packet f uphous. Yeah, you get the idea. At first,

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Speaker 1: I didn't mind it at all, because well, it was

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Speaker 1: my normal and I do genuinely love my sister. But

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Speaker 1: when we started getting older, I developed my own interests.

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Speaker 1: I'm my own human after all. Yeah, just because I'm

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Speaker 1: a twin don't mean I don't have my own I've.

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Speaker 3: Got different organs, different doctor's appointments.

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Speaker 1: Doctor's appointments, I got different boyfriends.

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Speaker 2: Different Husbandsfully, maybe not.

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Speaker 1: There's that. Have you seen that, like TLC documentary where

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Speaker 1: it's like I'm dating two twins and like the two

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Speaker 1: twins are both married to this one dude.

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Speaker 2: Was it in Utah? I don't know, Actually, maybe.

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Speaker 1: Maybe it could be. But when we started getting older,

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Speaker 1: I developed my own interests. I would get so frustrated

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Speaker 1: or upset when I either couldn't go to something because

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Speaker 1: Jess didn't want to come, or the only way I

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Speaker 1: could is if Jess would come with me, and vice versa.

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Speaker 1: It sucks, and despite our appearances, Jess was the more

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Speaker 1: extroverted twenty He liked to go to parties and do sports,

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Speaker 1: while I was the one that sucked. Well, it was

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Speaker 1: the introverted and artistic one. I was always made to

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Speaker 1: do what Jess wanted to do because me not wanting

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Speaker 1: to be social was seen as bad. And the only

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Speaker 1: way that Jess would agree to do slash endure my

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Speaker 1: hobbies was if I did her homework or chores.

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Speaker 3: It sounds it's like a cinderellas, Yeah, there's ashes in

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Speaker 3: the chimney.

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Speaker 2: Twin twin. We must get to the.

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Speaker 1: Ball, and you're I'm gonna go on your back. I

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Speaker 1: wonder if like she, like Jess had op like take

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Speaker 1: her test for her. She's like, not only am I

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Speaker 1: not doing my homework, you are taking my algebra test.

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Speaker 2: Too, hot take that's a good idea.

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Speaker 1: Or it's like Jess, I don't know what to get

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Speaker 1: my boyfriend for her birthday or I mean for his birthday, Uh,

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Speaker 1: Jess getting go by for for him?

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Speaker 2: I give it to him.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, not give it to him. No, Well, it sounds

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Speaker 1: like just gets all of the it just gets all

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Speaker 1: of the glory. Oh, he has to do all of

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Speaker 1: the bitch work. When my parents were divorcing, I was

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Speaker 1: over the moon. What I was over the moon? I

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Speaker 1: love divorce.

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Speaker 2: He does sound like like the worst twin.

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Speaker 1: I mean, if you're celebrating your parents divorce. I was

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Speaker 1: over the moon. And my dad agreed to let me

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Speaker 1: live with him in another state, and Jess didn't want

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Speaker 1: to move away from all her friends. Op gets the

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Speaker 1: wind for the family splitting up.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: My mom cried when I had to tell her I

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Speaker 1: didn't want to live with her, and Jess accused me

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Speaker 1: of hating them. This really wrecked me emotionally and I

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Speaker 1: almost caved. My dad got me into therapy who helped

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Speaker 1: me gather the courage to just leave. So left.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it was like a full family divorced.

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Speaker 1: It's a full family. Like they're splitting down the middle,

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Speaker 1: put down the middle.

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Speaker 3: I wonder what I was like, at least they had

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Speaker 3: equal children to split, like, less less of debate.

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Speaker 1: And yeah, if you have three kids, it's like like

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Speaker 1: someone's definitely winning in that.

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Speaker 3: Scenario, or if you have like a son and a

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Speaker 3: daughter and one is like, you know, the superior child.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, your place in bets like draft picks,

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Speaker 1: like who gets number one? Exactly basically who's the favorite

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Speaker 1: between you and Anthony.

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Speaker 3: We have a fairly good setup. My mom, I think,

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Speaker 3: prefers my brother, and my dad prefers me. So if

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Speaker 3: there were to be a split, I think it would

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Speaker 3: be an easy for.

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Speaker 1: That that I love how you've already You've already planned

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Speaker 1: it out. I never did shake off the guilt until

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Speaker 1: around senior year, but I never once regretted my choice

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Speaker 1: because of how liberating I felt by just getting to

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Speaker 1: be me. I was slowly able to repair my relationship

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Speaker 1: with my mom and Jess, but Jess and I were

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Speaker 1: never as close as we used to be, and I

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Speaker 1: was honestly fine with that. Fast forward to adulthood and

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Speaker 1: Ja is engaged to her boyfriend Steve Steve thirty six

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Speaker 1: mail and their wedding is set for spring. Unfortunately, Jess

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Speaker 1: was recently in a bad accident and her face is

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Speaker 1: going to need to get cosmetic surgery. She's been crying

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Speaker 1: on and off. I wonder, what the what do you think,

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Speaker 1: do I mean probably car accident, right, yeah? Or it's

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Speaker 1: like Steve is just beating her household, which you should probably.

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Speaker 1: If Steve is either whacking with his fists or his bns,

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Speaker 1: you should break up with him and it's consensual.

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Speaker 3: If it's consensual, then BDS Get yours, Get yours.

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Speaker 1: Steve is the BDS A master. Come to Steve's sex dungeon.

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Speaker 1: We'll throw his rock hard cop hard wherever he wants.

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Speaker 1: Steve Sex Dungeon, Get yours for three payments of nineteen

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Speaker 1: ninety nine.

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Speaker 2: Daddy Steve That Doddy Steve for three easy payments does

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Speaker 2: not include chipping a handle.

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Speaker 1: She's been crying on and off for days over this,

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Speaker 1: because there's no way she'll be healed up in time

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Speaker 1: for the wedding. My Mom, Steve, and I have been

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Speaker 1: trying to console her, but it's not enough. Earlier this week,

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Speaker 1: my mom approached me with the idea of dressing up

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Speaker 1: as Jess and pretending to be her for the ceremony

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Speaker 1: in reception so the pictures will look nice.

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Speaker 2: How is just okay with this? Why does she go?

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Speaker 2: I guess she's not upset, but.

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Speaker 1: Well, she doesn't want to but you're missing out on.

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Speaker 2: Your whole wedding. Is she just just for the pictures,

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Speaker 2: just for the picture, for the picks.

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Speaker 1: Well, actually, no pretending for the ceremony. The receptions of

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Speaker 1: the pictures will look nice.

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Speaker 2: That's the whole wedding basically.

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Speaker 1: Just well, legally then it would be Op and Steve

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Speaker 1: will be married.

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Speaker 2: Quite legally, quite legally, quite quite.

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Speaker 1: Yes, the lawyers are in gable gavel. You are now married.

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Speaker 1: Would you rather have just god awful terrible wedding pictures

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Speaker 1: or would you rather just have a stand and get

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Speaker 1: married to me?

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Speaker 3: I think since really, I am getting married and throwing

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Speaker 3: the party for the memes, right, not for the picks.

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Speaker 1: Amen, for the picks, and not the memes. Then you got,

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Speaker 1: you got, you got, You got a cork up your

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Speaker 1: butt that needs to be released and splattered all over me.

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Speaker 1: Stinky Sam, Stinky Sam, and Steve M bad Steve M.

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Speaker 3: So yeah, it's for the mens. I'm spending some near

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Speaker 3: one hundred thousand dollars. How much do weddings cost? I

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Speaker 3: think there's a funding.

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Speaker 1: Fun, Yeah, there is a fun, and he has fun

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Speaker 1: throwing parties.

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Speaker 2: When we first started dating.

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Speaker 3: Actually he asked me after a couple of months, So like,

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Speaker 3: should I prepare the funds to like book this wedding,

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Speaker 3: then you like, go ahead.

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Speaker 1: And already get venue.

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Speaker 2: We know which one is going to be out of Ye,

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Speaker 2: that's a bad news.

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Speaker 1: They'll never trap me down. They only need chains that

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Speaker 1: I'm putting on or in the sex dungeon, not the

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Speaker 1: ring sex dungeon Steve's. I was floored and gave a

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Speaker 1: hesitant no because of all I do know that this

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Speaker 1: would mean a lot to my sister. I just feel

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Speaker 1: really comfortable about getting married to Steve. My mom was

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Speaker 1: upset with me and said it's just for the pictures

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Speaker 1: and asked me if I really wanted to make it

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Speaker 1: so that Jess would have to be reminded of her

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Speaker 1: trauma whenever she had to look at her wedding photos

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Speaker 1: or just not have any photos at all. So am

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Speaker 1: I the asshole? Am I the asshole? I would love

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Speaker 1: to hear from you, guys. Is OP the asshole for

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Speaker 1: not one to get married to Steve for the pictures?

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Speaker 1: All the whole family is like, this is a super

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Speaker 1: normal thing to do. But I guess if you have

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Speaker 1: like a perfect stand in like not many people have

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Speaker 1: that power.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, we stickament, but yeah, I would use it. Would

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Speaker 2: you use the power for good or evil?

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Speaker 1: Oh? Evil for sure?

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Speaker 2: Sure.

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Speaker 1: I would be pulling all sorts of shenanigans. Yeah I would.

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Speaker 1: If I had an identical twin, I would like in

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Speaker 1: like high school, I would be switching every single class.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, because you want your your twins smarter than you.

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Speaker 1: And I mean like for that of those reasons, but

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Speaker 1: just like fuck with the system. Yeah, just to be

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Speaker 1: like the man, just the man. Yeah, I'm not gonna

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Speaker 1: take any ship from the man.

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Speaker 2: I only want ship from st.

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Speaker 1: Stinky Sam and BDS Steve him update. So I reached

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Speaker 1: out to Steve and I suggested, why don't you use photoshop?

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, we're in the twenty first century.

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Speaker 1: This fucking use photoshop.

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Speaker 2: Like created a Jess.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, Jehi chat gpt jazz And it turns out he

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Speaker 1: and Jess were already considering that before deciding to just

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Speaker 1: postpone the wedding as Jess is still dealing with PTSD

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Speaker 1: from the accident and doesn't believe that she's going to

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Speaker 1: be able to handle the stress of the wedding. I

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Speaker 1: was so relieved and told Steve that it would be

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Speaker 1: more than happy to help with getting word out that

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Speaker 1: the wedding wasn't happening right now, So I guess everything

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Speaker 1: is figure it out.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, heiece a good sister. She's trying to trying to help,

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Speaker 2: trying to help.

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Speaker 1: Well, what would you do in this situation? Please let

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Speaker 1: us know. We love you, we miss you. This is Ariana,

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Speaker 1: my girlfriend who's standing in for John, and we'll see

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Speaker 1: you in the next episode.

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Speaker 4: Am I the a hole for joking about my brother's

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Speaker 4: affair to his bride on their wedding day?

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Speaker 1: Okop? This is Okayop. I'm Samuel Donor. No, I'm John

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Speaker 1: Fry and we don't have any stories on the internet.

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Speaker 5: Yes we do, And Sam I have a question for you.

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Speaker 1: Please ask away John.

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Speaker 5: How many weddings have you been?

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Speaker 1: Oh? That many? I've been like many, one or two

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Speaker 1: or two? Yeah, I really haven't been to that many.

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Speaker 1: I went to my my second cousin's wedding like a

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Speaker 1: few months ago, and it almost got canceled because of

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Speaker 1: the fires in La there, like there was just fires

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Speaker 1: everywhere and it was smoky too. It was like, oh wow,

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Speaker 1: it was literally we were it was a wedding in

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Speaker 1: the middle of the fire.

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Speaker 5: But you could say that the wedding was fire.

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Speaker 1: It was fire. But I'm shay, but yeah, no not.

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Speaker 4: I haven't been to many any crazy crazy things, like

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Speaker 4: what was the craziest thing that went down in that wedding?

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Speaker 1: I mean the whole place was burning.

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Speaker 5: Literally the thing was on fire, mentioned.

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Speaker 1: Like like the wedding almost like it just passed by

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Speaker 1: and literally like it was. You could like the visibility

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Speaker 1: was incredibly low because there was so.

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Speaker 5: Much mo Wow. Okay, that's like really bad.

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Speaker 1: Yeah it was, it was, it was, it was on fire.

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Speaker 5: Wow.

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Speaker 4: Well, we have another wedding story today. I don't know

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Speaker 4: if it's worse.

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Speaker 1: We'll see.

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Speaker 5: I'll let you. I'll let you be the decider.

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Speaker 1: Say if it's a dumpster fire or just a dumpster

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Speaker 1: or just a fire.

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Speaker 4: Am I the a hole for joking about my brother's

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Speaker 4: affair to his bride on their wedding day?

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Speaker 1: Probably? Probably, it seems likely. It seems likely.

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Speaker 4: So when I was when I was in elementary school,

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Speaker 4: I was a type of kid who got disrupts class

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Speaker 4: often on their report card, So I never focused much

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Speaker 4: on school.

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Speaker 1: Classic class clown maybe classic class clown said that three

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Speaker 1: times fast, Classic class clown, classic Clex clown, classic class clown.

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Speaker 1: It sounds like some sort of like alien thing. Oh yeah,

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Speaker 1: it does like a Rick and Morty alien.

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Speaker 3: Ye.

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Speaker 4: My district had the system where they would pair high

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Speaker 4: schoolers with younger kids to help them with school, et cetera.

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Speaker 4: And my mom made me do this after I kept

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Speaker 4: getting in trouble, bad boy of the group.

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Speaker 5: What you're gonna do?

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Speaker 1: When are they coming for you? What you gotta do,

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Speaker 1: what you gotta do? What you got when they coming

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Speaker 1: for you? Uh So, really really am thought lightning with

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Speaker 1: Queen today. I am feeling the lightning Queen vibes today.

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Speaker 1: What is it if you're if you take off the

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Speaker 1: rest and whatever, you can look just like me?

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Speaker 5: I butchered the quote, But I have no idea.

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Speaker 1: I haven't really watched cars Cotchow, I know that one.

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Speaker 1: So my tutor was a freshman Abby. Uh So she

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Speaker 1: would come to our house after school to help me

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Speaker 1: with my homework or something I honestly barely remember.

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Speaker 5: Now.

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Speaker 4: My brother John was the same age as Abby, so

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Speaker 4: they would talk with each other, and one thing led

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Speaker 4: to another and they ended up dayton.

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Speaker 1: Okay, okay, I'll see you Johnny Aby, Oh, let me

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Speaker 1: teach you a few things. Let me have spread you

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Speaker 1: over that homework. Let me show you these angles. Oh,

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna calculating this trigonometry. Fuck, I don't school guys.

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Speaker 1: Let me show you the history of this dick. There

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Speaker 1: we go getting I'm a virgin. There's no history, no

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Speaker 1: history whatsoever.

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Speaker 5: She's uh.

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Speaker 4: She stopped tutoring me officially about a month after that. Uh,

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Speaker 4: But since she was at our house a lot, I

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Speaker 4: started talking to Abby quite often and we were quite

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Speaker 4: close as well. Fast forward ten years, Abby and John

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Speaker 4: get married and have a child together.

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Speaker 1: Whoa Abby and John? From tutoring to scootering to noodling

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Speaker 1: the babe babe boodling, ring all the oodlings the oodlings

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Speaker 1: have been done. But then five years after that, John

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Speaker 1: tells me that he's getting a divorce because he's met

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Speaker 1: someone new. Oh no, oh, and.

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Speaker 4: It sucked because I really liked John and Abby together

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Speaker 4: a lot.

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Speaker 1: But whatever, love is love, I guess I guess we

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Speaker 1: are an asshole.

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Speaker 4: But he tells me that he had an affair with

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Speaker 4: this new girlfriend, so we started dating her while he

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Speaker 4: was still in a maryor not a good look not

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Speaker 4: a good look.

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Speaker 5: Not a good look.

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Speaker 4: John John's with H's look bad at least be j

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Speaker 4: o N.

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Speaker 1: Come on, don't make the John with H community. Uh,

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Speaker 1: you know, I have to apologize for you. It's a

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Speaker 1: real community. In case you don't know, all your fellow

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Speaker 1: John's with H's comments below, Yeah.

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Speaker 5: Comment below if you got an H, let it be known.

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Speaker 4: This also sucks because I should have told him that

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Speaker 4: he shouldn't have hurt Abby like that. But whatever, I

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Speaker 4: guess this guy says whatever a lot.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm just imagining like a classic like Teeners, like whatever, mom, Wait,

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Speaker 1: I need to do my I need to do my

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Speaker 1: justin Bieber, whatever, Mom.

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Speaker 5: Their flip was quintessential I'm.

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Speaker 1: In love with an emo girl.

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Speaker 4: At this point, I decided to ask Abby how she

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Speaker 4: was doing, and she said, unsurprisingly, she wasn't doing so hot,

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Speaker 4: but she told me that she didn't want to be

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Speaker 4: the reason that I have a bad relationship with my brother.

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Speaker 5: Dang, this girl has literally been cheated on and.

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Speaker 1: She's still like worried about a freaking saint over here.

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Speaker 1: She's waist.

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Speaker 5: However, two months before the wedding, Abby.

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Speaker 4: Calls me and tells me that my brother's girlfriend has

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Speaker 4: been harassing her NonStop.

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Speaker 5: Oh no, ridiculous.

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Speaker 1: Why she can't she can't get to break.

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Speaker 4: Good quote, Yeah, she really can't. She showed me the texts,

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Speaker 4: and his girlfriend was saying pretty disturbing things about how

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Speaker 4: she's so much better than Abby, taunting Abby for having

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Speaker 4: to share custody of her kid now, et cetera, just

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Speaker 4: making fun of her and bowling her. Why, just just.

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Speaker 1: Why she must be pretty insecure to have to do

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Speaker 1: that has to.

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Speaker 4: Be I mean, she is in a relationship with someone

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Speaker 4: who uh got there by cheating.

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Speaker 1: You know what they say about relationships that start with cheating,

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Speaker 1: they will be long and healthy.

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Speaker 4: Yes, that's exactly what they say. I told my brother

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Speaker 4: about this and he said he would ask his girlfriend

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Speaker 4: about it, okay, buddy. A month later, I asked him

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Speaker 4: if he ever brought it up, and he said he

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Speaker 4: did but saw nothing wrong with the texts, which pissed

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Speaker 4: me off. And I confirmed that he saw the texts

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Speaker 4: that I saw. What ridiculous, Absolutely ridiculous. Abby apologized for

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Speaker 4: involving me in the whole thing in the first place

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Speaker 4: and encouraged me to still go to the wedding where

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Speaker 4: my brother had asked me to make a speech.

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Speaker 1: Oh, he's gonna make a speech, all right. Oh, I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna get the talking, buddy. The speech went well until

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Speaker 1: I made a joke. The gist of the joke was

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Speaker 1: me turning to his new wife to be and telling

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Speaker 1: her that if she's learning anything from this, she would

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Speaker 1: know that my brother will never let his wife stop

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Speaker 1: him from finding the love of his life.

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Speaker 4: Oh I wish I could have been in the room.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, what a what a joke. That's a curb,

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Speaker 1: that's a nuclear bomb. Right, Yeah, this got my This

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Speaker 1: got my brother and my wife really mad. Yeah, I

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Speaker 1: can imagine.

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Speaker 4: And after that, after fuming over it for a minute,

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Speaker 4: they decided to kick me out.

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Speaker 1: Understandable. Yeah, they can't sit with their own terribleness.

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Speaker 5: Nope.

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Speaker 4: And my brother has been calling and texting me non stop,

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Speaker 4: yelling at me ever since.

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Speaker 1: I mean, like, I think it's a funny joke as

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Speaker 1: an outsider, hilarious, hilarious, hilarious, hilarious, But you know what,

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Speaker 1: as also always hilarious. Uh your boys at okopy, follow

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Speaker 1: us on Spotify and TikTok and you want to be

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00:20:06,680 --> 00:20:09,080
Speaker 1: a real one. Support us on Patreon, also subscribe on

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Speaker 1: YouTube Yeah do that too, and on Patreon joined Joey

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Speaker 1: Sandra Casey's Aphorious to Vida Mohammed Amanda will desire King

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Speaker 1: and Simmons and Catholic like like sis oo