WEBVTT - Back Like We Never Left

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<v Speaker 1>Comeback Stories is a production I've Inflection Network and iHeartRadio.

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<v Speaker 2>What's going on, everyone, My name is Darren Waller. I'd

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<v Speaker 2>love to welcome you back to season three of Comeback Stories.

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<v Speaker 2>If this is your first time joining us, We're honored

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<v Speaker 2>to have you here. If you've been sticking with us

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<v Speaker 2>since day one, we love you, we appreciate you. For

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<v Speaker 2>those that are new, I'm Darren Waller. I'm going into

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<v Speaker 2>my eighth season in the NFL. You may know me

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<v Speaker 2>as a tie end that place for the New York Giants.

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<v Speaker 2>More on that and more on my journey to this

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<v Speaker 2>point later, but most importantly this comeback Story. This podcast

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<v Speaker 2>is about resiliency and about responding to adversity, and I

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<v Speaker 2>can't wait to dive into that with my friend, my brother,

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<v Speaker 2>my partner, my boy, Donnie Starkins. How you doing, man,

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<v Speaker 2>doing well?

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<v Speaker 3>What's up everyone? I'm Donnie Starkins. I'm a yoga and

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<v Speaker 3>meditation teacher and a personal development coach and Darren and

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<v Speaker 3>I started this podcast a few years ago to with

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<v Speaker 3>the mission of just reaching as many people as possible

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<v Speaker 3>to remind them that they're not alone and that we

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<v Speaker 3>all have a comeback story. Within us, So we're excited

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<v Speaker 3>for you to join in with us dive into season three.

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<v Speaker 3>You ready to get started, big.

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<v Speaker 2>D We're about four years of being friends and brothers

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<v Speaker 2>and just on the same journey together from the hard

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<v Speaker 2>knocks and you reaching out to me, and it's just

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<v Speaker 2>been a beautiful journey ever since. It's literally our conversations

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<v Speaker 2>in person, me having coaching sessions with you that turned

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<v Speaker 2>into what was the vision for this show? So I

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<v Speaker 2>feel like it's important to get people that context and

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<v Speaker 2>they like, Hey, we're really doing life together. You know,

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<v Speaker 2>this man was a groom's been in my wedding. You know,

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<v Speaker 2>just really beautiful life moments unfolding just from conversations that

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<v Speaker 2>we've been able to have and when we're lucky to

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<v Speaker 2>share it with you.

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<v Speaker 4>Guys.

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<v Speaker 3>Man, I can't tell you how many times I've told

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<v Speaker 3>the story of how we've connected and what it's transpired into,

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<v Speaker 3>and I've had multiple people have the same response and

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<v Speaker 3>they'll say, what a beautiful love story, And it really is.

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<v Speaker 3>It's like just the connection, the brotherly love that we

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<v Speaker 3>have and how it started maybe coach, but has evolved

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<v Speaker 3>into something way more meaningful than that. And then just

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<v Speaker 3>being aligned in so many ways, both sharing our story

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<v Speaker 3>publicly you on a way larger platform but with the

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<v Speaker 3>same mission, and to have the vision of the podcast

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<v Speaker 3>and starting it a few years ago during COVID and

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<v Speaker 3>we really didn't know what we were doing. I don't

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<v Speaker 3>know if we still do, but we know the message

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<v Speaker 3>that we want to share and we'd love to have

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<v Speaker 3>meaningful conversations. And selfishly for us having this podcast and

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<v Speaker 3>how many I think back to all of the guests

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<v Speaker 3>that we've had and being so immersed in those moments,

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<v Speaker 3>with these deep, meaningful conversations with some of the people

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<v Speaker 3>that I've looked up to my whole life, and now

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<v Speaker 3>we've got them on our platform, We're friends with them,

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<v Speaker 3>They're showing up at your wedding. It's just such a

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<v Speaker 3>beautiful thing.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, No, it's incredible, man. It's and I feel like

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<v Speaker 2>to really paint a picture of where we are now

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<v Speaker 2>in this journey and where we're going with it, I

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<v Speaker 2>feel like it's important for us to go back and

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<v Speaker 2>you know, revisit some of our stories, especially for some

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<v Speaker 2>of the new lists that may be coming in. So

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<v Speaker 2>to start off with with my journey, you know, I

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<v Speaker 2>was an after I played all sports growing up, football, basketball, baseball,

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<v Speaker 2>baseball is my favorite. Played a little bit of tennis

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<v Speaker 2>when I was younger. You know that that wasn't really

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<v Speaker 2>the issue. That that always seemed to work for me.

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<v Speaker 2>I always had a feel for it, But when it

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<v Speaker 2>came to just my internal situation, what was going on

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<v Speaker 2>the inside of me, it was very confusing. From from

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<v Speaker 2>early on. You know, I grew up in a really

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<v Speaker 2>nice community just north of Atlanta, Georgia, had no external problems.

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<v Speaker 2>Nothing about my upbringing was rough. I had both parents

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<v Speaker 2>and the home loving parents, parents that wanted to see

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<v Speaker 2>bring the best out of me without being abusive in

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<v Speaker 2>any type of way, and good schools, good environment. So

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<v Speaker 2>there was all these circumstances there for me to succeed,

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<v Speaker 2>and in most in most forms, in most realms, I

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<v Speaker 2>did succeed. But when it came to the social aspect

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<v Speaker 2>and just inside of me, it was rough. And it

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<v Speaker 2>was people of my skin color were telling I wasn't

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<v Speaker 2>black enough, and that was a wound that I can

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<v Speaker 2>trace back to my childhood and realized that really hurt me.

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<v Speaker 2>That was really tough and hard to deal with because

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<v Speaker 2>I can't just go anywhere and change my skin color,

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<v Speaker 2>like I can change my clothes, like I'm in this

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<v Speaker 2>black skin, and so just the narrative that began to

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<v Speaker 2>form my mind of like I'm black, but I'm not black,

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<v Speaker 2>so inherently I am wrong. Inherently there's something messed up

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<v Speaker 2>about me, and I need to try to fix it

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<v Speaker 2>in different ways by people pleasing, by performing in sports,

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<v Speaker 2>by just trying to put on masks everywhere that I went,

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<v Speaker 2>to try to fit into different environments, because really it

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<v Speaker 2>was just a cover up for me feeling lost, confused,

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<v Speaker 2>and lonely. And that's something that I carried through and

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<v Speaker 2>carried into sports. There was a beginning of my sports

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<v Speaker 2>journey where I didn't I was riding a bench on

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<v Speaker 2>a football.

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<v Speaker 4>Team my freshman year.

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<v Speaker 2>Sophomore year, I had a coach telling me I should

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<v Speaker 2>maybe try a non contact sport for anybody out there

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<v Speaker 2>that may be struggling early in their football journey. And

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<v Speaker 2>those were things that hurt me, and I carried my

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<v Speaker 2>people pleasing into sports, and it took the joy out

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<v Speaker 2>of it. By the end of my junior year, beginning

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<v Speaker 2>of my senior year of high school, there was no

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<v Speaker 2>joy in the sports. It was just anxiety around. I

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<v Speaker 2>gotta be this, I gotta be ranked this, I gotta

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<v Speaker 2>have scholarship offers. I only ended up with six scholarship offers.

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<v Speaker 2>There's so many more people with so many more offers

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<v Speaker 2>than me. I'm not doing something right, you know. And

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<v Speaker 2>that narrative just became the constant in my life. And

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<v Speaker 2>the only way that I felt like I could get

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<v Speaker 2>rid of that and numb that out and just feel better,

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<v Speaker 2>feel sense of peace was through getting high and drinking,

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<v Speaker 2>which started with painkillers for me, went to smoking weed,

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<v Speaker 2>drinking santix, cocaine.

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<v Speaker 4>I mean, whatever would.

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<v Speaker 2>Give me a feeling, you know, and it would just

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<v Speaker 2>take me out of the present moment and take me

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<v Speaker 2>somewhere else, you know. I went through college, played football

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<v Speaker 2>at Georgia Tech and started getting into a lot of trouble.

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<v Speaker 2>Got arrested for the first time my junior year of

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<v Speaker 2>high school, been arrested three times, been kicked off of

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<v Speaker 2>or suspended from every team on every level. I kicked

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<v Speaker 2>off my basketball team in high school, spending multiple times

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<v Speaker 2>at Georgia Tech, spending multiple times with the Baltimore Ravens ace.

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<v Speaker 4>I got into the NFL. You could see the.

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<v Speaker 2>Addiction, because none of these consequences deterred me even a

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<v Speaker 2>little bit from my habits, from wanting to use, from

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<v Speaker 2>wanting to escape, Like nothing materialistic, nothing external, was going

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<v Speaker 2>to be able to fill this internal void that I had.

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<v Speaker 2>But I didn't have the knowledge or the vocabulary or

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<v Speaker 2>the emotional intelligence to be able to be aware of

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<v Speaker 2>that or even like voice that at the time, and

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<v Speaker 2>I just thought success was all that mattered, performing, getting

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<v Speaker 2>to a certain point, graduating from a great institution, getting

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<v Speaker 2>drafted into the NFL. You know, I checked every box

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<v Speaker 2>from when I was a kid what success was presented

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<v Speaker 2>to me as but I was as miserable as I

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<v Speaker 2>could possibly be, And so you started asking yourself why,

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<v Speaker 2>like how did.

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<v Speaker 4>I get here?

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<v Speaker 2>And then you feel feel so powerless because the addiction

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<v Speaker 2>is so deep that you can't get out of it.

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<v Speaker 2>And that just turned me into a master of just

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<v Speaker 2>self sabotage and lying and hiding and essentially using people,

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<v Speaker 2>using women, using using people to make me feel better

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<v Speaker 2>about myself, because I always needed you to tell me

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<v Speaker 2>about that I was good in order for me to

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<v Speaker 2>believe it, because I couldn't inherently say I was good.

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<v Speaker 2>From that five year old kid that wasn't black enough,

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<v Speaker 2>and then all the things that I'm doing, getting arrested

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<v Speaker 2>and screwing people over and like, all those things build

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<v Speaker 2>up and it's just You're a piece of shit, is

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<v Speaker 2>the narrative, you know what I'm saying. So all that

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<v Speaker 2>stuff followed me, and you know, I crashed and burned

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<v Speaker 2>pretty hard, and the biggest moment probably would be an

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<v Speaker 2>overdose in twenty seventeen on what I thought was, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>the oxyes that I'm usually picking up, but ended up

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<v Speaker 2>being fentanyl. And by the grace of God, since that

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<v Speaker 2>next day forward, it's been almost six years of sobriety

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<v Speaker 2>and just an unfolding spiritual journey that's been amazing and

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<v Speaker 2>the best, the best thing that ever could happen to me.

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<v Speaker 2>Nobody would look back on moments like that and think

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<v Speaker 2>that's the I'm so grateful for that moment, you know

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<v Speaker 2>what I'm saying. But I truly am because it took

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<v Speaker 2>me off of this path of achieving, proving, accumulating and

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<v Speaker 2>put me onto this path of looking inward first and

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<v Speaker 2>finding value, finding richness, finding wealth on the inside before

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<v Speaker 2>I try to find it on the outside, and It's

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<v Speaker 2>been such a rewarding journey. I never even wanted to

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<v Speaker 2>go back into playing football, but God had other plans

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<v Speaker 2>for me. And here I am, six years after my suspension,

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<v Speaker 2>and people want me around. People think I'm a pro,

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<v Speaker 2>people think I work hard and set a good example,

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<v Speaker 2>and somebody that they want on their team. And now

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<v Speaker 2>I find myself, you know, on the Giants as one

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<v Speaker 2>of the old heads on the team. Like I'm one

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<v Speaker 2>of the top few oldest guys on the team. So

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<v Speaker 2>I'm literally setting an example with all my habits and

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<v Speaker 2>everything that I do and the energy that I bring

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<v Speaker 2>and the attitude that I bring. And none of that

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<v Speaker 2>happens without my moments of adversity that I had to

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<v Speaker 2>overcome and be vulnerable in and just grow for myself,

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<v Speaker 2>not just to get back to football, not just to

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<v Speaker 2>get back to being a name in society, but for myself.

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<v Speaker 2>And yeah, and my story continues to unfold. You know,

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<v Speaker 2>it's resulted in great moments, amazing times with the Raiders.

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<v Speaker 4>It's really successful.

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<v Speaker 2>Seasons, really on pace to be you know, I was

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<v Speaker 2>having visions of being one of the best players in

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<v Speaker 2>that that organization that has ever seen and you know,

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<v Speaker 2>things don't always go that way. I feel like, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>in a way, God was trying to see if if

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<v Speaker 2>I was clinging to the success again once I got

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<v Speaker 2>back to being in the limelight. He's like, well, if

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<v Speaker 2>I take this away, like this, is this your priority?

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<v Speaker 2>Is this what makes you use this your identity? So

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<v Speaker 2>that's why I feel like twenty twenty one, the last

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<v Speaker 2>half of twenty twenty one, and the twenty twenty two

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<v Speaker 2>sets with the Raiders are things I can look back

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<v Speaker 2>on and be like, those are the most valuable seasons

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<v Speaker 2>to me as a man. Not be those are my

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<v Speaker 2>least yardages in a season since being a starter. But

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<v Speaker 2>the lessons that I learned spiritually, mentally, emotionally are are

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<v Speaker 2>incredible and it leads me to where I am today,

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<v Speaker 2>ready to take on new challenges that come my way.

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<v Speaker 2>But Donnie, go ahead and bless the people with your

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<v Speaker 2>amazing story.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, before I do, I just man, I love you

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<v Speaker 3>so much and I love your story and I could

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<v Speaker 3>hear it every day for the rest of my life

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<v Speaker 3>and still be inspired and hear something new and take

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<v Speaker 3>away so much and just to watch your evolution over

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<v Speaker 3>these last few years, there's so much to unpack and

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<v Speaker 3>what you said. One of the things I took away

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<v Speaker 3>was people people think I work hard, people want to

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<v Speaker 3>be around me, But I don't think that ever would

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<v Speaker 3>have happened or that perspective if you didn't think that

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<v Speaker 3>about yourself. And I think some of the beautiful work

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<v Speaker 3>we've done over the years is really just to chip

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<v Speaker 3>away at all the shit that was getting in the

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<v Speaker 3>way of that, all the old stories, the old you know,

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<v Speaker 3>universal not enough story that I believe all of us

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<v Speaker 3>have to some form to be able to chip away

0:11:13.493 --> 0:11:18.053
<v Speaker 3>at that and really just practice loving yourself every single day,

0:11:18.453 --> 0:11:20.693
<v Speaker 3>which I still just love the fact that we talk

0:11:20.733 --> 0:11:22.853
<v Speaker 3>about this. It brings a smile to my face when

0:11:23.573 --> 0:11:27.253
<v Speaker 3>people see you, the masculine of all masculine, a football

0:11:27.253 --> 0:11:30.213
<v Speaker 3>player like you know, to many people, a giant, I

0:11:30.213 --> 0:11:33.133
<v Speaker 3>mean six ' six and you know, and I always

0:11:33.173 --> 0:11:36.253
<v Speaker 3>tell people like, we're not talking about sports on the podcast.

0:11:36.333 --> 0:11:39.013
<v Speaker 3>We're talking about real stuff. We're talking about our emotions,

0:11:39.013 --> 0:11:42.493
<v Speaker 3>what we're afraid of, our vulnerabilities. I mean, we we

0:11:42.613 --> 0:11:45.933
<v Speaker 3>dive deep, and we're not gonna ask anybody to go

0:11:45.973 --> 0:11:47.853
<v Speaker 3>where we're not willing to go. And I think that's

0:11:47.893 --> 0:11:52.173
<v Speaker 3>the beauty of the platform where we create a safe

0:11:52.213 --> 0:11:55.213
<v Speaker 3>space for other people to open up because we're just

0:11:55.693 --> 0:11:59.133
<v Speaker 3>We've learned that sharing our story, our past has become

0:11:59.133 --> 0:12:02.413
<v Speaker 3>our best asset and that's how that's how we connected.

0:12:03.013 --> 0:12:05.453
<v Speaker 3>So yeah, I guess I'll say way into mind, and

0:12:05.453 --> 0:12:09.133
<v Speaker 3>I'll bring us back to that point. Up in Phoenix, Arizona.

0:12:09.213 --> 0:12:12.693
<v Speaker 3>Grew up playing baseball my whole life. I played baseball

0:12:12.693 --> 0:12:14.733
<v Speaker 3>and football, but played baseball all the way up until

0:12:14.733 --> 0:12:17.653
<v Speaker 3>my senior year in college at Arizona State, where I

0:12:17.733 --> 0:12:21.693
<v Speaker 3>had what was my fifth knee operation on my left knee,

0:12:21.693 --> 0:12:24.693
<v Speaker 3>and it was a big one. It was pretty traumatic,

0:12:24.773 --> 0:12:27.413
<v Speaker 3>to say the least. It was a cadaver transplant of

0:12:27.453 --> 0:12:29.933
<v Speaker 3>my meniscus. I was the first person in Arizona to

0:12:29.933 --> 0:12:33.413
<v Speaker 3>ever have this surgery. The doctor assured me that if

0:12:33.413 --> 0:12:35.293
<v Speaker 3>all went well, it would be like having a new

0:12:35.373 --> 0:12:39.213
<v Speaker 3>knee and I could possibly even play again. And so

0:12:39.333 --> 0:12:41.213
<v Speaker 3>I put my trust in the hands of the doctors

0:12:41.253 --> 0:12:44.413
<v Speaker 3>because he was the head orthopedic surgeon at Arizona State,

0:12:44.453 --> 0:12:47.333
<v Speaker 3>and I said, Okay, let's do this. And the day

0:12:47.333 --> 0:12:50.053
<v Speaker 3>I woke up from that surgery, I remember waking up

0:12:50.093 --> 0:12:53.533
<v Speaker 3>in that hospital bed all alone. It was like all

0:12:53.653 --> 0:12:56.173
<v Speaker 3>dark in there. I had a morphine drip, and that

0:12:56.253 --> 0:12:58.573
<v Speaker 3>morphine drip would go off every ten minutes, and I

0:12:58.653 --> 0:13:01.933
<v Speaker 3>just remember every eight minutes, nine minutes just hitting it

0:13:01.933 --> 0:13:04.253
<v Speaker 3>because I was in so much pain. I looked down

0:13:04.293 --> 0:13:07.133
<v Speaker 3>at my leg and my whole leg from the top

0:13:07.173 --> 0:13:09.413
<v Speaker 3>of my hip bone to my ankle or my foot

0:13:09.573 --> 0:13:13.293
<v Speaker 3>was one big bruise. So just from the massive signs

0:13:13.293 --> 0:13:17.653
<v Speaker 3>and scars of trauma, I knew baseball was over for me.

0:13:18.093 --> 0:13:20.613
<v Speaker 3>And it was from that day and for many years

0:13:20.613 --> 0:13:22.933
<v Speaker 3>after where my role got turned upside down from a

0:13:22.973 --> 0:13:26.013
<v Speaker 3>life of an addiction. Yes, it started with painkillers. I

0:13:26.093 --> 0:13:29.013
<v Speaker 3>was prescribed eighty percoset a week for a month straight

0:13:29.173 --> 0:13:32.413
<v Speaker 3>after the surgery and still getting no reprieve from the pain.

0:13:33.093 --> 0:13:35.653
<v Speaker 3>My knee was swollen bent, so they have to take

0:13:35.693 --> 0:13:37.373
<v Speaker 3>off your patella. They have to break it off to

0:13:37.413 --> 0:13:40.133
<v Speaker 3>go in and do the procedure. And a month after

0:13:40.173 --> 0:13:43.173
<v Speaker 3>the surgery, I'm like, eighty percoset a week, still dying

0:13:43.213 --> 0:13:45.493
<v Speaker 3>in pain. I'm like, the doctor had to have messed

0:13:45.533 --> 0:13:47.853
<v Speaker 3>this up? What is going on? A month and a

0:13:47.893 --> 0:13:51.173
<v Speaker 3>half later, I turned the corner pain wise, but I

0:13:51.213 --> 0:13:53.613
<v Speaker 3>had to drop out of all my classes, My senior year,

0:13:54.693 --> 0:13:57.253
<v Speaker 3>I would get up to go take a shower like

0:13:57.373 --> 0:14:00.453
<v Speaker 3>every third day because it was so exhausting just to

0:14:00.533 --> 0:14:03.653
<v Speaker 3>crutch up and get my leg over the bathtub into

0:14:03.693 --> 0:14:06.773
<v Speaker 3>the shower, where I was just wiped out. And so

0:14:07.573 --> 0:14:10.173
<v Speaker 3>about eight months later, the cadaver piece that they put

0:14:10.213 --> 0:14:12.653
<v Speaker 3>in my body ended up rejecting the piece, so the

0:14:12.693 --> 0:14:14.893
<v Speaker 3>whole surgery was a wash. By that time, I was

0:14:15.053 --> 0:14:19.053
<v Speaker 3>walking around and not really doing much other than partying

0:14:19.653 --> 0:14:22.613
<v Speaker 3>popping pills, and you know, pills are really what had

0:14:22.653 --> 0:14:24.973
<v Speaker 3>its grip on me. But like Darren, I also did

0:14:25.013 --> 0:14:27.813
<v Speaker 3>a lot of other drugs, but it would be the

0:14:27.933 --> 0:14:31.333
<v Speaker 3>drugs or the pain pills that would really I wasn't

0:14:31.333 --> 0:14:35.013
<v Speaker 3>taking to get fucked up. It was about feeling normal.

0:14:35.693 --> 0:14:37.773
<v Speaker 3>It was about once I would take them, to be

0:14:37.813 --> 0:14:40.453
<v Speaker 3>able to let all the fear go away, so I

0:14:40.493 --> 0:14:44.533
<v Speaker 3>could step foot outside my door and feel normal for

0:14:44.573 --> 0:14:48.253
<v Speaker 3>a couple hours until the pill started wearing off. And also,

0:14:48.413 --> 0:14:51.813
<v Speaker 3>like Darren, I also had an overdose. But that overdose

0:14:52.493 --> 0:14:55.493
<v Speaker 3>that I had in Mexico wasn't even my bottom. I

0:14:55.573 --> 0:14:57.933
<v Speaker 3>wasn't ready. I mean I remember my parents, my brother,

0:14:58.333 --> 0:15:00.373
<v Speaker 3>my brother, and my brother in law had to drive

0:15:00.413 --> 0:15:02.133
<v Speaker 3>to Mexico and come pick me up out of an

0:15:02.173 --> 0:15:04.773
<v Speaker 3>emergency room. And the next day they tried to do

0:15:04.853 --> 0:15:07.293
<v Speaker 3>an intervention, and I'm like, I'm not going to rehab.

0:15:07.573 --> 0:15:09.333
<v Speaker 3>I'll go to meetings. And I would go to twelve

0:15:09.333 --> 0:15:11.813
<v Speaker 3>Step meetings just to keep my family off my back,

0:15:11.933 --> 0:15:13.853
<v Speaker 3>because I didn't want to stop my life for thirty

0:15:13.973 --> 0:15:17.333
<v Speaker 3>days and go into rehab as if I had a

0:15:17.333 --> 0:15:20.893
<v Speaker 3>lot going on in my life. So when I finally

0:15:20.893 --> 0:15:23.933
<v Speaker 3>got in and my life got so bad, I got

0:15:23.933 --> 0:15:26.613
<v Speaker 3>into rehab and I just remember sitting on my knees

0:15:26.613 --> 0:15:28.613
<v Speaker 3>and saying, God, just tell me what I need to

0:15:28.653 --> 0:15:30.613
<v Speaker 3>do to get it right this time. I tried so

0:15:30.693 --> 0:15:33.693
<v Speaker 3>many times, and it was in that first night where

0:15:33.733 --> 0:15:36.093
<v Speaker 3>they bring in twelve Step meetings, where the guys came

0:15:36.093 --> 0:15:39.493
<v Speaker 3>in and they said things like go to meetings, get

0:15:39.493 --> 0:15:42.853
<v Speaker 3>a sponsor, work the steps with that sponsor, and I

0:15:42.893 --> 0:15:45.133
<v Speaker 3>heard it for the first time. Now, remember I've been

0:15:45.173 --> 0:15:48.333
<v Speaker 3>going to meetings prior to that, but never heard the message.

0:15:48.333 --> 0:15:50.693
<v Speaker 3>It's kind of like when the student is ready, the

0:15:50.733 --> 0:15:53.893
<v Speaker 3>teacher will appear. And so I had the prayer and

0:15:53.933 --> 0:15:55.893
<v Speaker 3>it was like a foxhole prayer because I had the

0:15:55.933 --> 0:15:59.293
<v Speaker 3>gift of desperation. To actually hit my knees and be like, please, God,

0:15:59.373 --> 0:16:01.453
<v Speaker 3>just tell me. And it was through the mouths of

0:16:01.493 --> 0:16:04.533
<v Speaker 3>those two men that brought in that meeting where I

0:16:04.493 --> 0:16:07.293
<v Speaker 3>heard the message, and so I knew what I needed

0:16:07.333 --> 0:16:10.333
<v Speaker 3>to do this time. Once I got out of rehab,

0:16:10.373 --> 0:16:11.773
<v Speaker 3>there was plenty of work I had to do, and

0:16:11.813 --> 0:16:14.733
<v Speaker 3>that's where I got exposed into just my first therapy

0:16:14.813 --> 0:16:18.413
<v Speaker 3>session and how powerful that was and so an important

0:16:18.453 --> 0:16:21.293
<v Speaker 3>part of my message. My story also is that after

0:16:21.413 --> 0:16:24.333
<v Speaker 3>three years of sobriety, I stopped doing the work. I

0:16:24.373 --> 0:16:28.453
<v Speaker 3>stopped going to meetings, I stopped working with others, I

0:16:28.493 --> 0:16:31.373
<v Speaker 3>stopped being of service. I straight away from the middle

0:16:31.413 --> 0:16:34.413
<v Speaker 3>of the herd, and I got picked off. I had

0:16:34.973 --> 0:16:37.133
<v Speaker 3>another operation on my right knee. It was like a

0:16:37.173 --> 0:16:40.973
<v Speaker 3>minor arthroscopic surgery, like nothing compared to these other surgeries.

0:16:41.453 --> 0:16:43.733
<v Speaker 3>But I remember waking up from that surgery and loving

0:16:43.733 --> 0:16:46.053
<v Speaker 3>the way that I felt. And six days later I

0:16:46.133 --> 0:16:49.613
<v Speaker 3>was back back in the doctor's office, lying about the

0:16:49.613 --> 0:16:51.573
<v Speaker 3>pain level so that I could get more pills. And

0:16:51.613 --> 0:16:54.933
<v Speaker 3>that sent me into about a year long relapse and

0:16:55.093 --> 0:16:58.613
<v Speaker 3>since then, I just celebrated ten years of sobriety on

0:16:58.893 --> 0:17:02.573
<v Speaker 3>May fifth. So May fifth twenty thirteen is my sobriety date.

0:17:02.613 --> 0:17:05.653
<v Speaker 3>But that relapse is one of the most important parts

0:17:05.653 --> 0:17:08.013
<v Speaker 3>of my story because it reminded me. I'm so grateful

0:17:08.013 --> 0:17:10.213
<v Speaker 3>for it. And in the beginning it wasn't fun, like

0:17:10.253 --> 0:17:12.453
<v Speaker 3>having to stand up in meetings and be a newcomer,

0:17:12.493 --> 0:17:16.013
<v Speaker 3>and the shame of just like going back out and

0:17:16.053 --> 0:17:19.013
<v Speaker 3>all of that coming up. But today it is the

0:17:19.013 --> 0:17:21.493
<v Speaker 3>most important part of my story because it's just reminded

0:17:21.533 --> 0:17:24.213
<v Speaker 3>me that the work will never stop. And thank god

0:17:24.253 --> 0:17:27.293
<v Speaker 3>it happened three years in to my sobriety and not

0:17:27.413 --> 0:17:31.133
<v Speaker 3>now ten years in, where there's so much more at stake.

0:17:32.053 --> 0:17:34.453
<v Speaker 3>And through that process when I was at my rock bottom,

0:17:34.853 --> 0:17:37.013
<v Speaker 3>my mom, My mom was the one trying to help

0:17:37.053 --> 0:17:40.853
<v Speaker 3>me anyway that she could, and she was doing yoga.

0:17:40.933 --> 0:17:43.613
<v Speaker 3>I always say, way before yoga was school, and she

0:17:43.693 --> 0:17:45.493
<v Speaker 3>kept telling me, you need to do to yoga because

0:17:45.493 --> 0:17:47.853
<v Speaker 3>my body was so banged up five surgeries on my

0:17:47.933 --> 0:17:50.293
<v Speaker 3>left leg. I had three before I graduated high school,

0:17:50.853 --> 0:17:53.613
<v Speaker 3>and so my right hit my low back. I was

0:17:53.693 --> 0:17:57.253
<v Speaker 3>just dying physically and dying spiritually. And I would always

0:17:57.293 --> 0:17:59.493
<v Speaker 3>tell her yoga's for girls and hippies. I'm not doing

0:17:59.533 --> 0:18:01.653
<v Speaker 3>that shit. Like, that was my mindset at the time,

0:18:01.653 --> 0:18:05.773
<v Speaker 3>but I finally went with her once and after that

0:18:05.813 --> 0:18:07.533
<v Speaker 3>one class, I knew I would do yoga for the

0:18:07.533 --> 0:18:10.213
<v Speaker 3>rest of my life just from a physical standpoint, but

0:18:10.253 --> 0:18:11.853
<v Speaker 3>little did I know what it would do for the

0:18:11.973 --> 0:18:14.653
<v Speaker 3>mind and the soul. And so I ended up going

0:18:14.653 --> 0:18:17.333
<v Speaker 3>to teacher training and got out of teacher training, I'm like,

0:18:17.413 --> 0:18:19.533
<v Speaker 3>I want to quit my corporate job and go teach

0:18:19.613 --> 0:18:22.453
<v Speaker 3>yoga full time. And I got humbled pretty quick, and

0:18:22.493 --> 0:18:26.493
<v Speaker 3>there was a slow progression. About five years later, slowly

0:18:27.413 --> 0:18:30.653
<v Speaker 3>working my way out of corporate America, and five years

0:18:30.693 --> 0:18:33.933
<v Speaker 3>into teaching yoga, became a coach. I've done a lot

0:18:33.933 --> 0:18:37.493
<v Speaker 3>of work with Lululemon and led their internal personal development program,

0:18:37.533 --> 0:18:39.893
<v Speaker 3>and it just really allowed me to fall in love

0:18:40.013 --> 0:18:44.293
<v Speaker 3>with coaching and self development, self love, personal development, whatever

0:18:44.293 --> 0:18:46.973
<v Speaker 3>you want to call it. And so becoming a coach

0:18:47.053 --> 0:18:51.373
<v Speaker 3>has just been a great compliment to the yoga and

0:18:51.413 --> 0:18:54.533
<v Speaker 3>the meditation. It's like the mind, body, soul work that

0:18:54.573 --> 0:18:56.533
<v Speaker 3>we all need. And it's so cool to be able

0:18:56.573 --> 0:19:01.133
<v Speaker 3>to coach somebody like Darren or it could be a

0:19:01.173 --> 0:19:03.693
<v Speaker 3>stay at home mom, but honestly, the work that we

0:19:03.773 --> 0:19:06.253
<v Speaker 3>do is it's the same work, the work I do

0:19:06.293 --> 0:19:09.093
<v Speaker 3>with Darren. It's not about the on the field stuff,

0:19:09.133 --> 0:19:13.013
<v Speaker 3>it's everything else. It's giving him tools, techniques and practices

0:19:13.093 --> 0:19:16.453
<v Speaker 3>to be able to find his center. We're all getting

0:19:16.893 --> 0:19:19.413
<v Speaker 3>pulled in a thousand different directions by the world's to

0:19:19.573 --> 0:19:22.333
<v Speaker 3>demand for the attention of our mind. Now a pro

0:19:22.373 --> 0:19:25.733
<v Speaker 3>athlete or someone in the limelight probably has even more

0:19:25.773 --> 0:19:28.933
<v Speaker 3>of that, which is why it's so important to provide

0:19:28.973 --> 0:19:31.933
<v Speaker 3>these tools and to carry this message. And you know,

0:19:31.973 --> 0:19:34.333
<v Speaker 3>it's a lot of this stuff I learned in recovery,

0:19:34.373 --> 0:19:36.613
<v Speaker 3>and I believe we're all recovering from something, and so

0:19:37.253 --> 0:19:40.773
<v Speaker 3>we get to carry the message of recovery, even though

0:19:41.053 --> 0:19:44.093
<v Speaker 3>people listening might not be, or someone in a yoga

0:19:44.093 --> 0:19:48.493
<v Speaker 3>class might not be in recovery from a substance, but

0:19:48.573 --> 0:19:51.093
<v Speaker 3>it's the same message. And you know, going through and

0:19:51.133 --> 0:19:54.893
<v Speaker 3>working the twelve steps, you know, it's become the path

0:19:54.933 --> 0:19:58.733
<v Speaker 3>of freedom more than anything. And freedom that word runs

0:19:58.733 --> 0:20:02.173
<v Speaker 3>so deep to me today because it's like I remember

0:20:02.333 --> 0:20:04.813
<v Speaker 3>how free I was not and how bound I to

0:20:05.333 --> 0:20:09.053
<v Speaker 3>the drugs and to my addiction, and so I don't

0:20:09.093 --> 0:20:10.653
<v Speaker 3>want to shut the door on it. I want to

0:20:10.693 --> 0:20:13.573
<v Speaker 3>remember that because those are the days where I might

0:20:13.613 --> 0:20:15.373
<v Speaker 3>not be feeling it. That can kind of get me

0:20:15.413 --> 0:20:18.693
<v Speaker 3>off my butt and keep me inspired because I always say, like,

0:20:18.733 --> 0:20:21.653
<v Speaker 3>how free do you want to be? And just talking

0:20:21.693 --> 0:20:24.613
<v Speaker 3>about it. I think there's a lot of shameful things

0:20:24.613 --> 0:20:27.013
<v Speaker 3>that I did in my past in my addiction, but

0:20:27.133 --> 0:20:30.373
<v Speaker 3>what frees me from the shame is just sharing my story.

0:20:30.813 --> 0:20:33.493
<v Speaker 3>And it blows my mind that all of the terrible

0:20:33.573 --> 0:20:35.413
<v Speaker 3>decisions that I made and the pain I put my

0:20:35.493 --> 0:20:39.093
<v Speaker 3>family and friends through is actually what sets me free

0:20:39.093 --> 0:20:41.653
<v Speaker 3>today if I just talk about it, and the fact

0:20:41.693 --> 0:20:44.293
<v Speaker 3>that that can actually help somebody else, like I truly

0:20:44.333 --> 0:20:47.093
<v Speaker 3>feel there, like we are the luckiest. We are the

0:20:47.133 --> 0:20:49.293
<v Speaker 3>luckiest to find a way out, but then also to

0:20:49.333 --> 0:20:52.813
<v Speaker 3>find purpose through all the pain, much of it self inflicted,

0:20:52.893 --> 0:20:55.013
<v Speaker 3>Like we know that once we take ownership. And I

0:20:55.053 --> 0:20:57.773
<v Speaker 3>believe my life changed when I really started to take

0:20:57.933 --> 0:21:01.413
<v Speaker 3>ownership for my life and stop blaming the doctor that

0:21:01.453 --> 0:21:04.893
<v Speaker 3>screwed me over and my family that didn't understand, Like,

0:21:04.973 --> 0:21:08.773
<v Speaker 3>that's when things really started to change for me. And yeah,

0:21:08.813 --> 0:21:11.373
<v Speaker 3>I shared my story about a year into my sobriety

0:21:11.453 --> 0:21:14.653
<v Speaker 3>teaching a yoga event and from that day sharing my

0:21:14.733 --> 0:21:16.893
<v Speaker 3>story what used to bury me in guilt and shame

0:21:17.013 --> 0:21:20.733
<v Speaker 3>my past. Today it's my best asset. And then seeing

0:21:20.813 --> 0:21:24.213
<v Speaker 3>Darren share his story on HBO Hard Knox, I'm sitting

0:21:24.253 --> 0:21:26.293
<v Speaker 3>there watching it at home, and I'm like, who is

0:21:26.333 --> 0:21:29.093
<v Speaker 3>this dude? He's doing what I did, but like way

0:21:29.133 --> 0:21:32.173
<v Speaker 3>bigger platform. And so I reached out to him on

0:21:32.213 --> 0:21:35.053
<v Speaker 3>Instagram when he had about two thousand followers and nobody

0:21:35.093 --> 0:21:38.053
<v Speaker 3>knew who he was because he hadn't really played. He

0:21:38.133 --> 0:21:41.173
<v Speaker 3>was just coming off a year long suspension. And I'm

0:21:41.213 --> 0:21:44.173
<v Speaker 3>just so grateful that he saw my message, and I

0:21:44.293 --> 0:21:46.213
<v Speaker 3>just told him, I'm like, I work with other athletes.

0:21:46.253 --> 0:21:48.733
<v Speaker 3>I loved your story. I got you if you need anything,

0:21:48.773 --> 0:21:51.973
<v Speaker 3>and he responded and that's kind of where the love

0:21:52.053 --> 0:21:52.693
<v Speaker 3>story began.

0:21:54.213 --> 0:21:57.653
<v Speaker 2>Yes, sir man, that's such an amazing testimony. Man, Just

0:21:58.693 --> 0:22:02.053
<v Speaker 2>the similarities between our journeys have just it's just been

0:22:02.133 --> 0:22:06.213
<v Speaker 2>years of character development, man, years of spiritual development that

0:22:06.253 --> 0:22:08.493
<v Speaker 2>has been building something in us. You know, it's brought

0:22:08.493 --> 0:22:11.333
<v Speaker 2>hope back into our lives. You know, it's bought integrity

0:22:11.333 --> 0:22:14.093
<v Speaker 2>into our lives. It's brought courage into our lives. You know,

0:22:14.133 --> 0:22:17.213
<v Speaker 2>it's brought the willingness and the open mindedness to look

0:22:17.253 --> 0:22:22.093
<v Speaker 2>towards new paths and to be teachable, be coachable. It's

0:22:22.293 --> 0:22:24.453
<v Speaker 2>allowed us to make amends to other people and start

0:22:24.493 --> 0:22:27.453
<v Speaker 2>doing right by those people, and to keep taking inventory

0:22:27.453 --> 0:22:31.533
<v Speaker 2>of ourselves into you know, wanting to serve. And these

0:22:31.573 --> 0:22:33.653
<v Speaker 2>are things that you know that hold us down through

0:22:33.693 --> 0:22:36.053
<v Speaker 2>no matter what kind of storms come through our life. Now,

0:22:36.373 --> 0:22:39.613
<v Speaker 2>it's not what happens to us, it's more so, you know,

0:22:39.693 --> 0:22:42.573
<v Speaker 2>our response to what happens to us. You know, you

0:22:42.613 --> 0:22:44.053
<v Speaker 2>don't know when things are gonna happen. You don't know

0:22:44.093 --> 0:22:47.333
<v Speaker 2>the purpose behind a storm coming your way. It could be,

0:22:47.613 --> 0:22:50.013
<v Speaker 2>you know, like I just said, for your character development.

0:22:50.053 --> 0:22:53.813
<v Speaker 2>But that's how we can often view change as storms.

0:22:53.813 --> 0:22:55.253
<v Speaker 2>And you know, Donnie and I we spent a lot

0:22:55.293 --> 0:22:59.133
<v Speaker 2>of time talking about change, how to embrace it, how

0:22:59.173 --> 0:23:02.213
<v Speaker 2>to just a proper way to look at it. And Donnie,

0:23:02.213 --> 0:23:05.693
<v Speaker 2>you have so many good quotes on on change that

0:23:05.893 --> 0:23:08.973
<v Speaker 2>just allow you to just approach it in a simplified manner.

0:23:08.973 --> 0:23:10.133
<v Speaker 2>So I don't want to I don't want to steal

0:23:10.173 --> 0:23:11.373
<v Speaker 2>your thunder on that. I want to let you go

0:23:11.373 --> 0:23:12.213
<v Speaker 2>ahead and attack it.

0:23:12.453 --> 0:23:14.773
<v Speaker 3>No, I love, I mean it's the perfect topic with

0:23:15.573 --> 0:23:18.213
<v Speaker 3>you know, everything going on in your life. Right now

0:23:18.253 --> 0:23:21.053
<v Speaker 3>and the shift that's happened. But yeah, I always say

0:23:21.053 --> 0:23:23.973
<v Speaker 3>that change is not part of the process, it is

0:23:24.013 --> 0:23:27.133
<v Speaker 3>the process. And I think so many people there's a

0:23:27.133 --> 0:23:29.573
<v Speaker 3>part of the brain that does not like change, and

0:23:29.613 --> 0:23:31.613
<v Speaker 3>there's a part of the brain that likes to it's

0:23:31.653 --> 0:23:34.093
<v Speaker 3>trying to keep us safe and stay with what's familiar.

0:23:34.893 --> 0:23:38.293
<v Speaker 3>And in my experience in my own life and also

0:23:38.653 --> 0:23:41.413
<v Speaker 3>and in my life in sobriety and when I wasn't

0:23:41.453 --> 0:23:44.373
<v Speaker 3>in when I wasn't sober, how much we can fear

0:23:44.573 --> 0:23:47.573
<v Speaker 3>change and stepping into the unknown. But in order to

0:23:47.613 --> 0:23:49.653
<v Speaker 3>really step into the unknown, we have to we have

0:23:49.733 --> 0:23:51.453
<v Speaker 3>to die to the way we thought our life was

0:23:51.493 --> 0:23:53.973
<v Speaker 3>going to be. Like one of them only there's a few,

0:23:54.013 --> 0:23:57.053
<v Speaker 3>but one of the only constants in this life is

0:23:57.053 --> 0:24:01.013
<v Speaker 3>is change and also sacrifice, meaning we have to let

0:24:01.093 --> 0:24:04.493
<v Speaker 3>go of something in order to invite anything else new

0:24:04.733 --> 0:24:07.693
<v Speaker 3>in right, we have to make space like surrender daily.

0:24:07.773 --> 0:24:09.373
<v Speaker 3>That's why I love yoga. You can go to your

0:24:09.813 --> 0:24:11.773
<v Speaker 3>just chip away at all the shit that's in the way,

0:24:12.293 --> 0:24:15.493
<v Speaker 3>whether it's a you know, tension in the body, which

0:24:15.613 --> 0:24:18.413
<v Speaker 3>ultimately is coming from our thinking and coming from stress,

0:24:18.453 --> 0:24:21.253
<v Speaker 3>and all stress really is is wanting the moment to

0:24:21.293 --> 0:24:23.733
<v Speaker 3>be something that it's not. So it comes back to

0:24:23.773 --> 0:24:27.573
<v Speaker 3>when we resist change. Yeah, it's it's add on pain.

0:24:28.253 --> 0:24:30.133
<v Speaker 3>And I know there's people out there that have had

0:24:30.413 --> 0:24:33.893
<v Speaker 3>terrible things happen to them and lots of loss and tragedy.

0:24:34.133 --> 0:24:38.493
<v Speaker 3>But acceptance doesn't mean that we need to like it.

0:24:38.573 --> 0:24:41.293
<v Speaker 3>Acceptance doesn't mean that it's it wasn't fair, it wasn't

0:24:41.333 --> 0:24:43.893
<v Speaker 3>fucked up that it happened, but we do have to

0:24:43.973 --> 0:24:46.933
<v Speaker 3>accept that it's happened. And I know sometimes there can

0:24:46.973 --> 0:24:49.693
<v Speaker 3>be a process, there can be grief, but we have

0:24:49.813 --> 0:24:53.373
<v Speaker 3>to have tools to actually go through that process. If not,

0:24:53.853 --> 0:24:57.973
<v Speaker 3>and we're resisting change, it just becomes add on pain.

0:24:58.493 --> 0:25:01.133
<v Speaker 3>So even though it's painful whatever it might be in

0:25:01.173 --> 0:25:04.333
<v Speaker 3>your life, if we're not, if we're resisting it, it

0:25:04.493 --> 0:25:07.213
<v Speaker 3>just creates more suffering. And you know, there's a quote

0:25:07.213 --> 0:25:11.333
<v Speaker 3>out there suffering is optional, but it does take awareness, right,

0:25:11.373 --> 0:25:14.133
<v Speaker 3>And that's like the beauty of all of these conversations

0:25:14.133 --> 0:25:17.493
<v Speaker 3>that we have. And just to see how much awareness, Darren,

0:25:17.533 --> 0:25:20.653
<v Speaker 3>that you've cultivated in your life from the consistency of

0:25:20.693 --> 0:25:24.373
<v Speaker 3>the work that you've done, like is it is the

0:25:24.373 --> 0:25:27.733
<v Speaker 3>coolest thing ever to sit back and watch your revolution,

0:25:27.973 --> 0:25:31.893
<v Speaker 3>but even more so your discipline on certain practices that

0:25:31.933 --> 0:25:35.293
<v Speaker 3>you have, you know, a year under our coaching, I'm

0:25:35.293 --> 0:25:37.013
<v Speaker 3>seeing the things you're doing, and I'm your coach, and

0:25:37.053 --> 0:25:38.773
<v Speaker 3>I'm like, dude, I got to step up my game

0:25:39.173 --> 0:25:41.173
<v Speaker 3>because you were so dialed in and you had your

0:25:41.213 --> 0:25:44.613
<v Speaker 3>non negotiables and your prayer and meditation and your journaling

0:25:44.653 --> 0:25:48.213
<v Speaker 3>game is off the charts. And I think what I've seen,

0:25:48.293 --> 0:25:52.333
<v Speaker 3>and if we're talking about change, what that's allowed you

0:25:52.493 --> 0:25:55.493
<v Speaker 3>to do is just have this completely different perspective that

0:25:55.573 --> 0:25:58.533
<v Speaker 3>it is all happening for us and not to us, right,

0:25:58.573 --> 0:26:01.013
<v Speaker 3>and that this is God's will, not our will, and

0:26:01.093 --> 0:26:04.053
<v Speaker 3>when we can surrender to that and accept the things

0:26:04.053 --> 0:26:07.173
<v Speaker 3>that we can not change, like, that's really what sets

0:26:07.253 --> 0:26:08.053
<v Speaker 3>us free.

0:26:08.333 --> 0:26:10.973
<v Speaker 2>No question, man, Because I mean you're looking at a

0:26:10.973 --> 0:26:14.933
<v Speaker 2>guy that is I'm experiencing the most change that I've

0:26:14.973 --> 0:26:18.373
<v Speaker 2>ever had to take on in my life, especially in

0:26:18.453 --> 0:26:22.293
<v Speaker 2>this new life. You know, since the last time we

0:26:23.053 --> 0:26:27.253
<v Speaker 2>been putting out comeback stories episodes, I've become a married man,

0:26:29.053 --> 0:26:32.973
<v Speaker 2>changed teams, gone from the West Coast to the East coast.

0:26:34.173 --> 0:26:37.733
<v Speaker 2>I'm adjusting to living in New Jersey. I'm currently in Vegas,

0:26:37.773 --> 0:26:40.773
<v Speaker 2>as we record this, but for the most part, I'll

0:26:40.813 --> 0:26:44.293
<v Speaker 2>be in New Jersey now. So it's a lot of

0:26:44.373 --> 0:26:49.293
<v Speaker 2>things that I never would have expected to happen, but

0:26:50.493 --> 0:26:53.493
<v Speaker 2>things that I have the character to embrace. Now I

0:26:53.533 --> 0:26:56.293
<v Speaker 2>have the I have the wisdom and the knowledge to

0:26:56.533 --> 0:27:00.053
<v Speaker 2>embrace it and not resist it, because if I don't,

0:27:00.173 --> 0:27:02.813
<v Speaker 2>If I look back far enough, when I was at

0:27:02.813 --> 0:27:06.573
<v Speaker 2>Baltimore Raven and there was an opportunity for me to

0:27:06.813 --> 0:27:09.973
<v Speaker 2>go to the Raiders, if I would have resisted that change,

0:27:10.733 --> 0:27:13.653
<v Speaker 2>I would have been blocking myself from an immense amount

0:27:13.693 --> 0:27:16.533
<v Speaker 2>of blessing, an immense amount of opportunities. And so who's

0:27:16.573 --> 0:27:20.053
<v Speaker 2>to say that things can't continue to change, to work

0:27:20.053 --> 0:27:23.373
<v Speaker 2>in my favor, to continue to expand and unfold a

0:27:23.453 --> 0:27:27.773
<v Speaker 2>life that I never dreamed was possible. So it's a

0:27:27.893 --> 0:27:31.093
<v Speaker 2>I think embracing change starts with realizing that a lot

0:27:31.093 --> 0:27:33.293
<v Speaker 2>of the things that we hold in high value in

0:27:33.293 --> 0:27:37.493
<v Speaker 2>this world are fleeting. Like success is fleeting. You're not

0:27:37.533 --> 0:27:39.853
<v Speaker 2>going to be successful all the time, trust me. Like

0:27:40.693 --> 0:27:44.493
<v Speaker 2>I've been successful in my career, I'll still drop a pass.

0:27:45.013 --> 0:27:47.413
<v Speaker 2>I'll still you know, if you look at the entirety

0:27:47.413 --> 0:27:49.613
<v Speaker 2>of my journey, I mean, we can roll. Well, I

0:27:49.733 --> 0:27:51.653
<v Speaker 2>look like one of those dudes that's rolling the scroll

0:27:51.693 --> 0:27:53.173
<v Speaker 2>out and the papers rolling on the ground. If we're

0:27:53.173 --> 0:27:56.493
<v Speaker 2>talking about mistakes, if we're talking about moments where I

0:27:56.493 --> 0:28:00.773
<v Speaker 2>didn't show up as my most authentic self, and that's

0:28:00.813 --> 0:28:03.253
<v Speaker 2>a part of it, man Like, we we have to

0:28:03.413 --> 0:28:07.493
<v Speaker 2>embrace that journey is not going to be perfect, but

0:28:08.413 --> 0:28:12.093
<v Speaker 2>moments like that is what makes everything worth it. Man Like,

0:28:13.613 --> 0:28:16.413
<v Speaker 2>I'm grateful to be where I'm at. Yeah, I'm distant

0:28:16.453 --> 0:28:20.853
<v Speaker 2>from my wife, but this is an opportunity for me

0:28:21.093 --> 0:28:25.733
<v Speaker 2>to continue to, you know, take my career as far

0:28:25.733 --> 0:28:28.893
<v Speaker 2>as it could possibly go and maximize that. And I'm

0:28:28.933 --> 0:28:32.613
<v Speaker 2>supported in that by my wife being in this new place.

0:28:32.733 --> 0:28:35.413
<v Speaker 2>Like I'm here on assignment, I'm not here by accident.

0:28:35.453 --> 0:28:37.373
<v Speaker 2>I didn't just get thrown to New Jersey. I got

0:28:37.413 --> 0:28:39.333
<v Speaker 2>placed in New Jersey for a reason. I got placed

0:28:39.373 --> 0:28:44.533
<v Speaker 2>in New Jersey for a purpose, leading men on this team,

0:28:44.533 --> 0:28:47.253
<v Speaker 2>continuing the impact that my foundation has had, bringing that

0:28:47.253 --> 0:28:49.893
<v Speaker 2>to the East Coast, trying to save lives, give people

0:28:49.933 --> 0:28:56.293
<v Speaker 2>opportunities to recover. But once I realize what's fleeting like money, success,

0:28:57.453 --> 0:29:00.613
<v Speaker 2>what people are saying about me, and realize that what

0:29:00.693 --> 0:29:03.533
<v Speaker 2>isn't fleeting is my spirit. What isn't fleeting is my

0:29:03.653 --> 0:29:06.093
<v Speaker 2>heart in my mind. Like those are constants that are

0:29:06.093 --> 0:29:08.413
<v Speaker 2>going to go with me everywhere that I go, and

0:29:08.453 --> 0:29:11.613
<v Speaker 2>I stay disciplined in those things, That's what's going to

0:29:11.653 --> 0:29:14.853
<v Speaker 2>allow me to be anywhere and not just feel peace,

0:29:14.893 --> 0:29:17.973
<v Speaker 2>but be the piece where in the middle of the storm,

0:29:18.133 --> 0:29:20.413
<v Speaker 2>be the piece when it's chaos all around me, where

0:29:20.653 --> 0:29:23.053
<v Speaker 2>there is real no foundation for me. I'm living in

0:29:23.093 --> 0:29:27.493
<v Speaker 2>a new spot, I'm transitioning apartments, I'm you know, missing

0:29:27.773 --> 0:29:30.493
<v Speaker 2>the most important person in my life to me, Like

0:29:30.613 --> 0:29:32.573
<v Speaker 2>all those things are kind of like it's a little

0:29:32.573 --> 0:29:35.573
<v Speaker 2>bit shaky ground. But when I know that it starts

0:29:35.573 --> 0:29:39.013
<v Speaker 2>from me just being myself everywhere that I go and

0:29:39.133 --> 0:29:41.493
<v Speaker 2>just being and not having to do, not having to perform,

0:29:41.653 --> 0:29:46.053
<v Speaker 2>not placing unneeded pressure on myself, That's when I'm free

0:29:46.173 --> 0:29:49.173
<v Speaker 2>enough to respond to change in the best way that

0:29:49.213 --> 0:29:52.133
<v Speaker 2>I know that I can. And I can't do that

0:29:52.173 --> 0:29:54.413
<v Speaker 2>when I'm stressed, Like you said, Like, what do you

0:29:54.413 --> 0:29:56.733
<v Speaker 2>say about stress is when you want the moment to

0:29:57.413 --> 0:30:00.453
<v Speaker 2>be something that is not Like a lot of times,

0:30:00.893 --> 0:30:03.293
<v Speaker 2>a lot of times that change is not going to

0:30:03.333 --> 0:30:05.093
<v Speaker 2>be what you wanted because as you may have been

0:30:05.133 --> 0:30:09.013
<v Speaker 2>comfortable in your previous situation, in the previous circumstances, but

0:30:09.093 --> 0:30:10.733
<v Speaker 2>this is bringing you out of your comfort zone. But

0:30:11.253 --> 0:30:13.693
<v Speaker 2>I feel like we all know by now is stepping

0:30:13.693 --> 0:30:16.253
<v Speaker 2>outside your comfort zone is the only way any type

0:30:16.253 --> 0:30:17.213
<v Speaker 2>of growth is going to happen.

0:30:21.933 --> 0:30:25.493
<v Speaker 3>Man, you know, just thinking about you going to New

0:30:25.573 --> 0:30:28.773
<v Speaker 3>York City and us speaking this out to the universe

0:30:28.853 --> 0:30:32.093
<v Speaker 3>and to God and to this platform of we're on

0:30:32.093 --> 0:30:34.413
<v Speaker 3>a mission to reach as many people as possible, and

0:30:34.493 --> 0:30:38.413
<v Speaker 3>here God places you in New York City, the media

0:30:38.493 --> 0:30:42.013
<v Speaker 3>capital of the world, Like, well, of course it aligns

0:30:42.053 --> 0:30:44.773
<v Speaker 3>with it aligns with your mission, Like there's a reason

0:30:44.773 --> 0:30:48.413
<v Speaker 3>why you're here, and it's way way bigger than catching

0:30:48.453 --> 0:30:51.093
<v Speaker 3>touchdowns and we know that. And I think that's another

0:30:51.653 --> 0:30:55.733
<v Speaker 3>direct reflection of the work that you've done. And I

0:30:55.733 --> 0:30:59.653
<v Speaker 3>think what's cool for me my core wound. Darren talked

0:30:59.693 --> 0:31:04.493
<v Speaker 3>about his of being different where mine was just baseball

0:31:04.653 --> 0:31:06.573
<v Speaker 3>was my identity, it was everything. It was the love

0:31:06.613 --> 0:31:08.493
<v Speaker 3>of my life. It was like that was the plan.

0:31:08.573 --> 0:31:10.093
<v Speaker 3>I didn't have a plan B. So when that was

0:31:10.133 --> 0:31:12.693
<v Speaker 3>taken away from me, I didn't know what to do.

0:31:12.893 --> 0:31:15.853
<v Speaker 3>And yes, I had some physical injuries, but at the

0:31:15.893 --> 0:31:18.213
<v Speaker 3>core I was taking drugs and alcohol because I didn't

0:31:18.213 --> 0:31:21.613
<v Speaker 3>want to feel the emotional pain of the loss of

0:31:21.613 --> 0:31:26.173
<v Speaker 3>my purpose of baseball. And so immediately when Darren and

0:31:26.213 --> 0:31:28.813
<v Speaker 3>I started working together, it's like, you better know who

0:31:28.853 --> 0:31:31.653
<v Speaker 3>you are beyond the sport. And this isn't just for athletes.

0:31:31.693 --> 0:31:34.053
<v Speaker 3>This can be for the parent, to someone who puts

0:31:34.053 --> 0:31:37.333
<v Speaker 3>all of their identity into their job, that you better

0:31:37.333 --> 0:31:38.933
<v Speaker 3>know who you are because it's going to end one

0:31:39.013 --> 0:31:41.853
<v Speaker 3>day for you and if you don't, if you don't

0:31:41.853 --> 0:31:45.213
<v Speaker 3>have something bigger, it's going to get messy. That literally

0:31:45.253 --> 0:31:48.413
<v Speaker 3>almost killed me. And so to see the evolution of

0:31:48.493 --> 0:31:52.573
<v Speaker 3>Darren beyond the sport with rap music, you know, being

0:31:52.613 --> 0:31:56.133
<v Speaker 3>a musician, a very talented musician, having the podcast, having

0:31:56.173 --> 0:32:00.333
<v Speaker 3>the foundation, becoming a husband, like all of these things.

0:32:00.453 --> 0:32:02.453
<v Speaker 3>I say this all the time, and I speak for Darren,

0:32:02.493 --> 0:32:04.933
<v Speaker 3>but I'm very confident like football could and for him

0:32:04.933 --> 0:32:07.573
<v Speaker 3>tomorrow and he's going to be good and he's not

0:32:07.693 --> 0:32:09.693
<v Speaker 3>going to fall down that path that so many other

0:32:09.733 --> 0:32:13.813
<v Speaker 3>athletes might fall down because his purpose is something bigger

0:32:13.853 --> 0:32:17.933
<v Speaker 3>than just you know, on the field stuff. So, yeah,

0:32:18.013 --> 0:32:20.093
<v Speaker 3>that was another thing I wanted to mention with what

0:32:20.133 --> 0:32:22.453
<v Speaker 3>you said is just yeah, that lesson of the lesson

0:32:22.493 --> 0:32:27.173
<v Speaker 3>of impermanence, where nothing lasts forever, and that can be good.

0:32:27.333 --> 0:32:29.933
<v Speaker 3>I mean, that can work for us and against us. Right,

0:32:29.973 --> 0:32:32.533
<v Speaker 3>So when all the good stuff is happening, that's not permanent,

0:32:33.213 --> 0:32:34.973
<v Speaker 3>and then when the bad stuff, if you're in a

0:32:35.053 --> 0:32:37.653
<v Speaker 3>valley right now and you're feeling like you know, there's

0:32:37.653 --> 0:32:40.453
<v Speaker 3>no light at the end of the tunnel, nothing is permanent.

0:32:41.253 --> 0:32:44.213
<v Speaker 3>So that lesson of impermanence is a great reminder that like,

0:32:44.333 --> 0:32:46.573
<v Speaker 3>we will come out of it. It's like just learning

0:32:46.573 --> 0:32:49.093
<v Speaker 3>how to ride the waves. And that's so much of

0:32:49.133 --> 0:32:52.573
<v Speaker 3>the work that we do and Darren, that you continue

0:32:52.613 --> 0:32:55.333
<v Speaker 3>to do is just trying to continue to find your center,

0:32:56.213 --> 0:32:59.293
<v Speaker 3>keep the non negotiables, keep the practices that allow us

0:32:59.293 --> 0:33:03.093
<v Speaker 3>to embrace change, to not resist, to see that like

0:33:03.253 --> 0:33:07.053
<v Speaker 3>this is all working for us, right. And the other

0:33:07.093 --> 0:33:10.013
<v Speaker 3>thing I wanted to cover was you talking about being

0:33:10.413 --> 0:33:12.653
<v Speaker 3>the peace in the storm or the calm and the storm,

0:33:13.213 --> 0:33:15.093
<v Speaker 3>and so now being in New York City, I remember

0:33:15.133 --> 0:33:18.733
<v Speaker 3>teaching a yoga class in Bryant Park in New York

0:33:18.773 --> 0:33:22.093
<v Speaker 3>City and it was like the coolest moment ever because

0:33:22.413 --> 0:33:27.853
<v Speaker 3>here we were doing this yoga class outside sirens NonStop sirens,

0:33:27.893 --> 0:33:31.253
<v Speaker 3>all kinds of noise, and we were the calm and

0:33:31.453 --> 0:33:33.613
<v Speaker 3>just like you know, you and Vegas. I feel like

0:33:33.733 --> 0:33:35.693
<v Speaker 3>Vegas has a lot of bright lights, but as we know,

0:33:35.773 --> 0:33:38.253
<v Speaker 3>there's a lot of darkness in that town too. For

0:33:38.333 --> 0:33:41.213
<v Speaker 3>you to come in and be the light in a

0:33:41.253 --> 0:33:44.133
<v Speaker 3>town that certainly could use it. And now coming into

0:33:44.173 --> 0:33:46.533
<v Speaker 3>New York City and being the calm and being that

0:33:46.733 --> 0:33:50.093
<v Speaker 3>rock and being that center in the midst of the chaos,

0:33:50.133 --> 0:33:52.213
<v Speaker 3>like this is what's going to help you, you know,

0:33:52.373 --> 0:33:55.373
<v Speaker 3>deal with manage. So I guess my question to you

0:33:55.533 --> 0:33:58.693
<v Speaker 3>is like, how are you managing? How has the transition

0:33:58.933 --> 0:34:01.293
<v Speaker 3>been for you on a psychological level?

0:34:01.333 --> 0:34:03.733
<v Speaker 2>So far, It's been a good transition. There's been a

0:34:03.773 --> 0:34:05.453
<v Speaker 2>lot of great that's come from it. I feel like

0:34:05.533 --> 0:34:10.373
<v Speaker 2>everything that's been happening with the team and and and

0:34:10.453 --> 0:34:14.333
<v Speaker 2>immersing myself in that environment, that culture has been outstanding.

0:34:15.653 --> 0:34:17.453
<v Speaker 2>And even even the new place that I'm living in

0:34:17.493 --> 0:34:20.333
<v Speaker 2>New Jersey. It's just like it's a different way, different

0:34:20.333 --> 0:34:24.293
<v Speaker 2>than Las Vegas, way different than Georgia. But I've really

0:34:24.373 --> 0:34:28.853
<v Speaker 2>enjoyed it. But I feel like going into it, uh,

0:34:28.933 --> 0:34:30.773
<v Speaker 2>maybe like a lot of people would because I'm human,

0:34:30.813 --> 0:34:34.133
<v Speaker 2>I'm thinking like and there's there of course there's media

0:34:34.253 --> 0:34:37.933
<v Speaker 2>covering my transition. I can't transition like a like a

0:34:37.973 --> 0:34:41.333
<v Speaker 2>normal person. But so it makes me think like, okay,

0:34:41.413 --> 0:34:45.533
<v Speaker 2>like I have to like this is a transition, but no,

0:34:45.773 --> 0:34:47.853
<v Speaker 2>this is gonna this isn't gonna be hard.

0:34:47.973 --> 0:34:49.733
<v Speaker 4>This is gonna be fine.

0:34:49.813 --> 0:34:51.573
<v Speaker 2>This is gonna be I have the tools, I have,

0:34:51.813 --> 0:34:55.653
<v Speaker 2>the the practices I got, the discipline, like this is,

0:34:55.693 --> 0:34:57.093
<v Speaker 2>this is gonna be fine. I'm gonna handle it the

0:34:57.093 --> 0:35:00.133
<v Speaker 2>best way possible and that's that. But I feel like

0:35:00.173 --> 0:35:04.253
<v Speaker 2>I had allowed myself to accept that, you know, this

0:35:04.373 --> 0:35:07.253
<v Speaker 2>is this is difficult, This is a lot, this is.

0:35:09.853 --> 0:35:11.573
<v Speaker 4>You know, we're coming out into.

0:35:11.373 --> 0:35:14.453
<v Speaker 2>The wilderness per se, if anybody, if anybody reads the Bible,

0:35:15.493 --> 0:35:18.613
<v Speaker 2>but just allowing it to allowing it to be hard,

0:35:18.813 --> 0:35:23.293
<v Speaker 2>like not like self pitying in it, not wallowing in it,

0:35:23.453 --> 0:35:28.333
<v Speaker 2>not being like being overridden by like asking myself why

0:35:28.413 --> 0:35:30.453
<v Speaker 2>and all this, but just like, hey, like this is

0:35:30.573 --> 0:35:32.653
<v Speaker 2>I'm gonna make the most of it. But this is difficult.

0:35:32.813 --> 0:35:36.053
<v Speaker 2>This is difficult for anyone. These are three different things

0:35:36.053 --> 0:35:39.293
<v Speaker 2>that are probably the top five things that stress people out,

0:35:39.333 --> 0:35:43.093
<v Speaker 2>and they happen to me at all at once. So

0:35:43.173 --> 0:35:46.773
<v Speaker 2>it's just accepting that and moving forward. You talk about

0:35:46.813 --> 0:35:50.733
<v Speaker 2>finding your ciner. You know, I do that in a

0:35:50.813 --> 0:35:54.893
<v Speaker 2>multitude of ways, but just the idea of finding the center.

0:35:54.933 --> 0:35:57.373
<v Speaker 2>It's like you kind of think of it as like

0:35:57.413 --> 0:35:59.253
<v Speaker 2>a rope's trying to pull you in each direction. And

0:35:59.293 --> 0:36:01.333
<v Speaker 2>one is like the change is trying to get you

0:36:01.373 --> 0:36:03.413
<v Speaker 2>to latch onto the past and how good that was

0:36:03.453 --> 0:36:06.253
<v Speaker 2>and romanticizing that and how you don't want to leave it.

0:36:06.413 --> 0:36:08.333
<v Speaker 2>And there's another side that's like, okay with change. It

0:36:08.333 --> 0:36:10.213
<v Speaker 2>is trying to pull you into the future, trying to

0:36:10.333 --> 0:36:12.933
<v Speaker 2>line up every single thing, trying to get everything planned out,

0:36:12.973 --> 0:36:16.773
<v Speaker 2>trying to make sure everything goes perfectly so I don't

0:36:16.813 --> 0:36:17.853
<v Speaker 2>have to stress out.

0:36:17.933 --> 0:36:19.453
<v Speaker 4>But neither of those.

0:36:19.293 --> 0:36:21.453
<v Speaker 2>Make me effective right where I'm at in the present

0:36:21.453 --> 0:36:24.453
<v Speaker 2>moment and the things that keep me to the present

0:36:24.493 --> 0:36:28.733
<v Speaker 2>moment or meditation something I'm a I'm almost six years

0:36:28.733 --> 0:36:35.813
<v Speaker 2>into on a journey with journaling therapy, seeing like seeing

0:36:35.853 --> 0:36:38.733
<v Speaker 2>a therapist. I've done group therapy, I still do when

0:36:38.773 --> 0:36:41.933
<v Speaker 2>I want therapy, Like my life doesn't change without me

0:36:43.053 --> 0:36:46.693
<v Speaker 2>consistently being in vulnerable settings for me to share and

0:36:46.733 --> 0:36:50.053
<v Speaker 2>to talk. So it's that it's having a sponsor. It's

0:36:51.213 --> 0:36:55.653
<v Speaker 2>making sure that i'm you know, I'm reading. I'm continuing

0:36:55.693 --> 0:36:57.893
<v Speaker 2>to try to expand my relationship with God. I'm still creating,

0:36:58.013 --> 0:37:00.893
<v Speaker 2>making music like things that fill my cup, that bring

0:37:00.973 --> 0:37:04.093
<v Speaker 2>me joy, and not just because it's easy in my

0:37:04.213 --> 0:37:07.773
<v Speaker 2>stage to focus on I got to perform like these

0:37:07.893 --> 0:37:10.373
<v Speaker 2>last couple of years, the injury, the injuries and the

0:37:10.373 --> 0:37:12.533
<v Speaker 2>time is taken away from what I was doing before,

0:37:12.653 --> 0:37:13.493
<v Speaker 2>like I gotta perform.

0:37:13.533 --> 0:37:15.213
<v Speaker 4>I gotta perform now, I gotta do this, and it.

0:37:16.693 --> 0:37:18.973
<v Speaker 2>Okay, yeah, I want to be excellent at what I do,

0:37:19.093 --> 0:37:23.573
<v Speaker 2>but me trying to me being in a performance mode

0:37:24.053 --> 0:37:28.613
<v Speaker 2>is not healthy for Darren Waller, who goes home and

0:37:28.653 --> 0:37:30.293
<v Speaker 2>who has a soul and a spirit at the end

0:37:30.333 --> 0:37:33.373
<v Speaker 2>of the night and is a human being. I want

0:37:33.373 --> 0:37:34.973
<v Speaker 2>to be excellent and be great at everything that I

0:37:35.013 --> 0:37:38.853
<v Speaker 2>do and uh and leave a legacy, leave a powerful legacy.

0:37:38.893 --> 0:37:43.093
<v Speaker 2>But you know, I I perform my best when I'm

0:37:43.133 --> 0:37:46.093
<v Speaker 2>just being you know, we're not We're not human doings.

0:37:46.133 --> 0:37:50.133
<v Speaker 2>We're human beings. Like when I'm being the best version

0:37:50.133 --> 0:37:54.173
<v Speaker 2>of myself, just being who I am, that's when things

0:37:54.213 --> 0:37:56.773
<v Speaker 2>line up. That's when all these opportunities that I have,

0:37:57.293 --> 0:38:00.493
<v Speaker 2>I feel worthy of them, and I maximize them and

0:38:00.533 --> 0:38:03.253
<v Speaker 2>I do great things with them. But it's all about

0:38:03.293 --> 0:38:05.493
<v Speaker 2>just practicing and keeping myself in this space of like

0:38:06.333 --> 0:38:09.533
<v Speaker 2>each and every moment that comes, I'm gonna be there

0:38:09.573 --> 0:38:11.213
<v Speaker 2>for it. I'm not gonna be anywhere else and be

0:38:11.293 --> 0:38:14.893
<v Speaker 2>right where my feet are and just staying in my practices.

0:38:14.933 --> 0:38:19.013
<v Speaker 2>It's fundamentals. It's you know, waking up and like how

0:38:19.013 --> 0:38:22.293
<v Speaker 2>people go to the gym and do certain things, Like

0:38:22.813 --> 0:38:25.213
<v Speaker 2>I'm hitting these fundamentals every day because it allows when

0:38:25.253 --> 0:38:27.533
<v Speaker 2>something comes and may hit me out of nowhere and

0:38:27.573 --> 0:38:30.813
<v Speaker 2>surprise me or shock me, I can come back to

0:38:31.213 --> 0:38:33.533
<v Speaker 2>exactly who I am, come back to my center and

0:38:33.573 --> 0:38:35.333
<v Speaker 2>be like, Okay, We're going to find a way to

0:38:35.813 --> 0:38:39.373
<v Speaker 2>not only to survive this, but thrive in this, because

0:38:39.453 --> 0:38:41.413
<v Speaker 2>I'm not meant to just be here to just exist

0:38:41.453 --> 0:38:44.853
<v Speaker 2>and survive and get by, like we're meant to live

0:38:44.893 --> 0:38:46.093
<v Speaker 2>life and live life to the full.

0:38:46.413 --> 0:38:49.133
<v Speaker 3>I would love anybody that's listening, maybe a new listener,

0:38:49.213 --> 0:38:52.813
<v Speaker 3>to go back and listen to episode one, which is

0:38:52.933 --> 0:38:57.573
<v Speaker 3>Darren sharing his comeback story and just noticing the shift

0:38:57.733 --> 0:39:00.213
<v Speaker 3>in these last few years in his voice and in

0:39:00.293 --> 0:39:03.373
<v Speaker 3>his clarity, and it's not just like it doesn't just

0:39:03.453 --> 0:39:07.293
<v Speaker 3>magically appear. I'm telling you it's a direct reflection of

0:39:07.333 --> 0:39:10.053
<v Speaker 3>the work that he's committed to. There's so many things

0:39:10.133 --> 0:39:12.453
<v Speaker 3>that came up to me, came up for me when

0:39:12.613 --> 0:39:15.453
<v Speaker 3>you were just sharing. One of them was I remember

0:39:15.493 --> 0:39:18.973
<v Speaker 3>when during COVID playing in an empty Raiders stadium, right

0:39:19.013 --> 0:39:22.053
<v Speaker 3>and asking you like, how was it? How was it

0:39:22.373 --> 0:39:27.493
<v Speaker 3>like not having fans and that external noise and validation

0:39:27.773 --> 0:39:30.733
<v Speaker 3>that you can just but you can feel energetically and

0:39:30.853 --> 0:39:34.653
<v Speaker 3>hear by the sounds. And I remember you saying it

0:39:34.733 --> 0:39:38.013
<v Speaker 3>was peaceful, and I was like, wow, how many people

0:39:38.093 --> 0:39:40.493
<v Speaker 3>would say that? And how many guys on you know,

0:39:40.933 --> 0:39:44.293
<v Speaker 3>throughout the NFL were struggling because they didn't have that,

0:39:44.373 --> 0:39:47.893
<v Speaker 3>because they needed something outside of them. So that was

0:39:47.933 --> 0:39:50.653
<v Speaker 3>when I was like, man, this dude is different. But

0:39:50.853 --> 0:39:52.933
<v Speaker 3>it came with It wasn't like, again, you were just

0:39:53.293 --> 0:39:55.373
<v Speaker 3>handed this stuff. You've done a lot of work to

0:39:55.413 --> 0:39:58.813
<v Speaker 3>get to this place to have the perspective that you have,

0:39:58.973 --> 0:40:02.333
<v Speaker 3>and it's just it's inspired. How do you feel like

0:40:02.413 --> 0:40:07.573
<v Speaker 3>your recovery had helped you in the transition in the

0:40:07.573 --> 0:40:09.533
<v Speaker 3>physical move from Vegas to New York.

0:40:09.933 --> 0:40:15.573
<v Speaker 2>It's helped tremendously. It's you know, just starting with the

0:40:15.573 --> 0:40:19.853
<v Speaker 2>the realization of like I don't have to manage everything.

0:40:19.893 --> 0:40:24.373
<v Speaker 2>I don't have to have everything, you know, be overseen

0:40:24.493 --> 0:40:27.973
<v Speaker 2>by me, and like every single detail of this transition

0:40:28.053 --> 0:40:30.453
<v Speaker 2>has to be like lined up in a particular way

0:40:30.773 --> 0:40:33.653
<v Speaker 2>in order for it to go well. Like I can,

0:40:33.933 --> 0:40:36.453
<v Speaker 2>I can come out here and it can be rough sometimes,

0:40:36.453 --> 0:40:39.373
<v Speaker 2>it can be scary, it can be exciting, it can

0:40:39.413 --> 0:40:42.333
<v Speaker 2>be lonely, like it could be all of these things.

0:40:42.333 --> 0:40:44.653
<v Speaker 2>And I don't have to try to make sure that

0:40:45.413 --> 0:40:47.533
<v Speaker 2>I have to be happy at all times. I have

0:40:47.653 --> 0:40:50.493
<v Speaker 2>to be upbeat at all times. And you know, I

0:40:50.533 --> 0:40:54.813
<v Speaker 2>also don't have to be sad and down in the dumps,

0:40:54.933 --> 0:40:57.053
<v Speaker 2>you know, because I'm also in a position in a

0:40:57.093 --> 0:40:59.333
<v Speaker 2>way to where I'm leading and setting the tone in

0:40:59.373 --> 0:41:01.853
<v Speaker 2>my marriage and it requires me to bring a certain

0:41:01.933 --> 0:41:06.013
<v Speaker 2>level of energy and intentionality to it. So yeah, I mean,

0:41:06.053 --> 0:41:10.693
<v Speaker 2>recovery helps tenfold. It. It doesn't allow me to bottle

0:41:10.733 --> 0:41:13.893
<v Speaker 2>things up. It doesn't allow me to isolate, It doesn't

0:41:13.893 --> 0:41:18.333
<v Speaker 2>allow me to just sit into things that are bothering me.

0:41:18.413 --> 0:41:22.533
<v Speaker 2>It forces me to bring those to another person. It

0:41:22.573 --> 0:41:28.533
<v Speaker 2>forces me to make sure that you know, I'm operating

0:41:28.573 --> 0:41:30.973
<v Speaker 2>in a healthy manner because when I keep things in,

0:41:31.573 --> 0:41:34.093
<v Speaker 2>those things eat at me on the inside, and my

0:41:34.213 --> 0:41:37.333
<v Speaker 2>brain can go left in a heartbeat, you know. Like

0:41:37.853 --> 0:41:41.053
<v Speaker 2>that's the thing about alcoholism and addiction. It's like it's

0:41:41.133 --> 0:41:44.293
<v Speaker 2>the thinking aspect of it more so than it is.

0:41:44.253 --> 0:41:45.573
<v Speaker 4>Like the drinking.

0:41:45.653 --> 0:41:49.253
<v Speaker 2>Like sure, like I haven't had a drink or a

0:41:49.373 --> 0:41:52.413
<v Speaker 2>pill in almost six years, but it's the mind that

0:41:52.573 --> 0:41:57.453
<v Speaker 2>still operates like it's an addict or an alcoholic, and

0:41:58.093 --> 0:42:00.813
<v Speaker 2>it tries to enforce its will on all types of

0:42:00.813 --> 0:42:05.773
<v Speaker 2>different situations and relationships. And it's just if I'm not

0:42:05.773 --> 0:42:07.733
<v Speaker 2>doing these if I'm not praying, if I'm not meditating,

0:42:07.813 --> 0:42:11.293
<v Speaker 2>if I'm not going to meetings, being in these environments,

0:42:11.413 --> 0:42:15.373
<v Speaker 2>then something small in my day or is going to

0:42:15.413 --> 0:42:17.893
<v Speaker 2>start eating away at my piece. And it's gonna be

0:42:17.933 --> 0:42:20.133
<v Speaker 2>little things over time, and then you look up and

0:42:20.173 --> 0:42:24.893
<v Speaker 2>be like, oh man, I'm depressed or I'm just angry,

0:42:25.373 --> 0:42:29.133
<v Speaker 2>or I'm resentful. And it wasn't just one major thing happening.

0:42:29.133 --> 0:42:31.133
<v Speaker 2>It was just little things that started to add up.

0:42:31.213 --> 0:42:33.013
<v Speaker 2>And I can't afford to allow those little things to

0:42:33.013 --> 0:42:35.693
<v Speaker 2>add up. It's a constant state of awareness, constant state

0:42:35.733 --> 0:42:40.733
<v Speaker 2>of mindfulness that allows me to continue to approach this

0:42:40.773 --> 0:42:44.013
<v Speaker 2>thing one day at a time. It's as cliche as

0:42:44.053 --> 0:42:49.293
<v Speaker 2>it sounds, that philosophy. That perspective changed my career because

0:42:49.293 --> 0:42:51.173
<v Speaker 2>I don't have to go and I learned I don't

0:42:51.213 --> 0:42:52.693
<v Speaker 2>have to go into a season and say I need

0:42:52.733 --> 0:42:55.733
<v Speaker 2>twelve hundred yards. I can go into a season and say, hey,

0:42:55.853 --> 0:42:58.453
<v Speaker 2>I got practice today. Each and every period, each and

0:42:58.493 --> 0:43:00.853
<v Speaker 2>every drill, each and every rep of practice, I'm going

0:43:00.933 --> 0:43:03.173
<v Speaker 2>to be present for and try to maximize that one

0:43:03.213 --> 0:43:06.373
<v Speaker 2>rep and one rep start to stack. You know, people

0:43:06.413 --> 0:43:08.773
<v Speaker 2>want to we want to get there, we want to

0:43:08.773 --> 0:43:12.253
<v Speaker 2>get to the endpoint, but there ultimately is here, like

0:43:12.373 --> 0:43:15.413
<v Speaker 2>the word here is in there. So it's like, if

0:43:15.453 --> 0:43:18.653
<v Speaker 2>I'm maximizing each and every moment, I don't even have

0:43:18.693 --> 0:43:20.373
<v Speaker 2>to check the stat sheet, I don't even got to

0:43:20.573 --> 0:43:22.413
<v Speaker 2>check none of that. It's gonna add up. But the

0:43:22.453 --> 0:43:23.933
<v Speaker 2>end of the year you can look up and be like, Wow,

0:43:23.973 --> 0:43:26.973
<v Speaker 2>this is what I accomplished by staying in the moment

0:43:27.333 --> 0:43:31.213
<v Speaker 2>as much as I possibly could. And that's what recovery

0:43:31.253 --> 0:43:32.693
<v Speaker 2>is doing for me. Man. It's approaching things from a

0:43:32.693 --> 0:43:39.613
<v Speaker 2>spiritual perspective, not going into environments and situations and locker rooms,

0:43:39.693 --> 0:43:43.093
<v Speaker 2>demanding that things be about me, demanding about me getting

0:43:43.093 --> 0:43:45.533
<v Speaker 2>my performance, me getting my shine. No, it's about being

0:43:45.533 --> 0:43:48.093
<v Speaker 2>a part of a greater whole, a greater good, and

0:43:48.133 --> 0:43:53.013
<v Speaker 2>serving that greater good, and knowing that all I've wanted

0:43:53.053 --> 0:43:54.533
<v Speaker 2>all along, when I was trying to get high and

0:43:54.573 --> 0:43:56.133
<v Speaker 2>trying to get drunk, was just to be a part

0:43:56.173 --> 0:43:57.693
<v Speaker 2>of something that was meaningful and be a part of

0:43:57.733 --> 0:44:00.933
<v Speaker 2>something that was bigger than myself, because the traps and

0:44:00.973 --> 0:44:03.373
<v Speaker 2>the prisons that I was setting around me were self centered,

0:44:03.453 --> 0:44:07.173
<v Speaker 2>and they were by you know, we were self inflicted,

0:44:07.213 --> 0:44:08.013
<v Speaker 2>like you said earlier.

0:44:08.053 --> 0:44:10.293
<v Speaker 4>So it's a it's.

0:44:10.493 --> 0:44:12.933
<v Speaker 2>A culmination of all those things, man, and just continuing

0:44:12.933 --> 0:44:14.653
<v Speaker 2>to put one foot in front of the other and

0:44:14.733 --> 0:44:17.853
<v Speaker 2>allow myself to be taught, allow myself to be coached.

0:44:19.093 --> 0:44:21.053
<v Speaker 2>And I feel like I have everything figured out, because

0:44:21.093 --> 0:44:23.013
<v Speaker 2>I don't. I'm not even close.

0:44:23.933 --> 0:44:27.213
<v Speaker 3>I love that beginner's mindset which you've always had, and

0:44:27.253 --> 0:44:30.853
<v Speaker 3>you've always been so humbled, I always say, sometimes humble

0:44:30.933 --> 0:44:34.493
<v Speaker 3>to a fault where I felt my part time job

0:44:34.533 --> 0:44:37.053
<v Speaker 3>has been your hype man for the last few years,

0:44:37.373 --> 0:44:40.253
<v Speaker 3>which I love, and I'll and I'll be I'll be

0:44:40.373 --> 0:44:43.333
<v Speaker 3>that person forever for you. Yeah, you said the small things.

0:44:43.333 --> 0:44:46.053
<v Speaker 3>The small things add up, and that can work for

0:44:46.133 --> 0:44:47.853
<v Speaker 3>us and it can work against us. It's like the

0:44:47.853 --> 0:44:51.173
<v Speaker 3>relapse doesn't happen the day we relapse. It was for

0:44:51.293 --> 0:44:53.773
<v Speaker 3>me the moment I decided to not go to that

0:44:53.813 --> 0:44:56.613
<v Speaker 3>meeting or not go call my sponsor, and then that

0:44:56.773 --> 0:45:00.373
<v Speaker 3>just turned into probably four months later on actual relapse.

0:45:00.693 --> 0:45:03.893
<v Speaker 3>But in the same way, those small that compounding effect,

0:45:04.013 --> 0:45:07.093
<v Speaker 3>just like pound interest, you know, the small shifts. It's

0:45:07.093 --> 0:45:08.493
<v Speaker 3>like if you are out in the ocean and you

0:45:08.613 --> 0:45:13.333
<v Speaker 3>change your location or your route one degree, you'll end

0:45:13.413 --> 0:45:16.613
<v Speaker 3>up in a completely different location. So if you're out

0:45:16.613 --> 0:45:18.693
<v Speaker 3>there and you're struggling and you don't see the light

0:45:18.693 --> 0:45:21.133
<v Speaker 3>at the end of the tunnel, just know like that

0:45:21.173 --> 0:45:24.493
<v Speaker 3>one little win, that one little thing, the promise that

0:45:24.533 --> 0:45:26.253
<v Speaker 3>you keep to yourself if you say you're going to

0:45:26.333 --> 0:45:28.453
<v Speaker 3>do something and get out of bed the next day

0:45:28.493 --> 0:45:30.733
<v Speaker 3>and maybe just take ten deep breaths, not try to

0:45:30.773 --> 0:45:34.093
<v Speaker 3>start some twenty minute meditation practice, but just take ten

0:45:34.133 --> 0:45:36.173
<v Speaker 3>deep breaths, or write down a couple things that you're

0:45:36.213 --> 0:45:38.453
<v Speaker 3>grateful for. If writing it down feels like too much,

0:45:38.733 --> 0:45:41.293
<v Speaker 3>think of a couple things that you're grateful for. But

0:45:41.333 --> 0:45:43.613
<v Speaker 3>the most self confident people in the world are the

0:45:43.613 --> 0:45:45.813
<v Speaker 3>ones that keep the promises that they make to themselves,

0:45:46.133 --> 0:45:48.093
<v Speaker 3>and so we want to be impeccable with our word

0:45:48.293 --> 0:45:50.933
<v Speaker 3>like the like the Four Agreements talks about, which Darren

0:45:50.973 --> 0:45:53.213
<v Speaker 3>and I reference all the time, which if you haven't

0:45:53.253 --> 0:45:55.253
<v Speaker 3>read that book, read it is it will change your

0:45:55.253 --> 0:45:57.133
<v Speaker 3>life forever. It's something that I wish we would have

0:45:57.173 --> 0:46:01.253
<v Speaker 3>read in elementary school and high school. Things would be

0:46:01.293 --> 0:46:05.653
<v Speaker 3>a lot different. So yeah, it's I'm just so proud

0:46:05.853 --> 0:46:08.493
<v Speaker 3>of you, and I'll never forget. One of the greatest

0:46:09.493 --> 0:46:12.173
<v Speaker 3>days of my life was probably the greatest day of

0:46:12.213 --> 0:46:15.733
<v Speaker 3>your life was your wedding day. And from my perspective,

0:46:15.813 --> 0:46:20.253
<v Speaker 3>to get to sit back and just watch a man

0:46:20.453 --> 0:46:25.013
<v Speaker 3>like heartbusted wide open, which wasn't always the case, so

0:46:25.173 --> 0:46:27.253
<v Speaker 3>in love, but at the same time at your wedding,

0:46:27.253 --> 0:46:30.533
<v Speaker 3>which it was such an epic wedding, you having so

0:46:30.653 --> 0:46:36.493
<v Speaker 3>much clean fun, performing dan scene so happy like that

0:46:36.653 --> 0:46:38.693
<v Speaker 3>was just one of the greatest moments. To be able

0:46:38.733 --> 0:46:40.973
<v Speaker 3>to bear witness to that was such an honor and

0:46:41.053 --> 0:46:43.973
<v Speaker 3>such a gift. But so that's a big change for you.

0:46:44.053 --> 0:46:48.613
<v Speaker 3>How has Like what's the energetic or emotional change of

0:46:48.693 --> 0:46:50.453
<v Speaker 3>now being a married man.

0:46:51.093 --> 0:46:52.613
<v Speaker 4>It's a shift that is.

0:46:54.133 --> 0:46:59.653
<v Speaker 2>Indirect, like contradiction to the man I was in like

0:46:59.693 --> 0:47:03.453
<v Speaker 2>my previous life, you know, like the addict, Like the

0:47:03.533 --> 0:47:07.693
<v Speaker 2>thinking behind it is like completely self centered, right, whereas

0:47:07.733 --> 0:47:11.853
<v Speaker 2>being married is the complete opposite. It's about really being

0:47:11.853 --> 0:47:13.893
<v Speaker 2>in service, you know, Like I feel like my recovery

0:47:13.933 --> 0:47:17.733
<v Speaker 2>journey has prepared me for this in ways that I

0:47:17.773 --> 0:47:22.213
<v Speaker 2>wasn't even realizing before. It's serving without all, without needing

0:47:22.293 --> 0:47:28.253
<v Speaker 2>ah a standing ovation. It's it's doing little things. It's

0:47:29.613 --> 0:47:34.253
<v Speaker 2>being aware of how another person gives and receives love

0:47:34.333 --> 0:47:38.893
<v Speaker 2>and making sure that their needs are met in that capacity,

0:47:40.053 --> 0:47:45.973
<v Speaker 2>and just being intentional, intentional with time, intentional with just

0:47:46.053 --> 0:47:48.693
<v Speaker 2>spending quality time and in physical touch. You know, we're

0:47:48.733 --> 0:47:51.733
<v Speaker 2>we're two very busy people, so we probably have to

0:47:51.773 --> 0:47:55.413
<v Speaker 2>be a lot more intentional than the average. And not

0:47:55.493 --> 0:47:59.333
<v Speaker 2>to mention being on separate coasts, you know, it's it's

0:47:59.373 --> 0:48:02.133
<v Speaker 2>it's really forced me to and challenge me to be

0:48:02.253 --> 0:48:05.373
<v Speaker 2>intentional with you know, the every other weekend, I was

0:48:05.973 --> 0:48:08.533
<v Speaker 2>flying to where she was, whether she had a game

0:48:08.693 --> 0:48:11.533
<v Speaker 2>or on the road, or you know, drove to Connecticut

0:48:11.533 --> 0:48:13.493
<v Speaker 2>for a game. From Jersey. It was like three and

0:48:13.533 --> 0:48:16.213
<v Speaker 2>a half hours. So it's like doing whatever it takes

0:48:16.253 --> 0:48:19.133
<v Speaker 2>to let that person know that you're there with them

0:48:19.173 --> 0:48:21.533
<v Speaker 2>and that we're on a team, and how we communicate

0:48:21.573 --> 0:48:24.613
<v Speaker 2>with each other, how we interact with each other. You know,

0:48:25.053 --> 0:48:28.613
<v Speaker 2>we start, we started as friends and you know, remain

0:48:28.693 --> 0:48:33.613
<v Speaker 2>friends throughout that process, and you know we're you know, partners, lovers.

0:48:33.613 --> 0:48:34.813
<v Speaker 2>But at the end of the day, it's just like

0:48:35.253 --> 0:48:38.973
<v Speaker 2>enjoying being around somebody, and we enjoy being around somebody

0:48:39.213 --> 0:48:42.813
<v Speaker 2>and you are not bringing a ton of emotional baggage

0:48:42.813 --> 0:48:46.573
<v Speaker 2>into the picture. It allows you to have a really

0:48:46.693 --> 0:48:51.453
<v Speaker 2>healthy and just an experience that the joy continues to

0:48:51.493 --> 0:48:53.973
<v Speaker 2>expand each and every each and every day that we're

0:48:54.013 --> 0:48:57.173
<v Speaker 2>involved in it, you know. And I feel like doing

0:48:57.213 --> 0:49:00.293
<v Speaker 2>pre marital counseling, counseling beforehand allowed us to prepare for

0:49:00.333 --> 0:49:03.493
<v Speaker 2>that as well. That's something that I would recommend because

0:49:03.493 --> 0:49:04.613
<v Speaker 2>I don't if a lot of people are doing and

0:49:04.693 --> 0:49:07.813
<v Speaker 2>that it allows you, it really allows you to separate

0:49:08.173 --> 0:49:10.093
<v Speaker 2>the petty you know. It's like a lot of things

0:49:10.133 --> 0:49:13.973
<v Speaker 2>that petty things that people may get mad about, and

0:49:14.053 --> 0:49:16.333
<v Speaker 2>couples get frustrated over a sock that's on the floor

0:49:16.493 --> 0:49:20.413
<v Speaker 2>or dishes in the dishwasher or things like that. It

0:49:20.413 --> 0:49:22.373
<v Speaker 2>allows you to move above that, like we need to

0:49:22.373 --> 0:49:25.373
<v Speaker 2>go to a different level with our marriages and not

0:49:25.413 --> 0:49:27.453
<v Speaker 2>looking and not looking to be offended and looking for

0:49:27.493 --> 0:49:31.053
<v Speaker 2>these little things, but overseeing those and really get into

0:49:31.053 --> 0:49:33.533
<v Speaker 2>the depths of the matter, like what have you been through?

0:49:33.533 --> 0:49:35.613
<v Speaker 2>What are some wounds that you're still trying to heal from.

0:49:35.733 --> 0:49:37.253
<v Speaker 2>How can I be there for you? How can I

0:49:37.293 --> 0:49:40.853
<v Speaker 2>create a safe space for you and allow you to

0:49:41.333 --> 0:49:43.813
<v Speaker 2>feel like you can continue to grow to the best

0:49:43.893 --> 0:49:45.813
<v Speaker 2>version of yourself. So those are those are some things

0:49:45.813 --> 0:49:49.293
<v Speaker 2>that since being married that continue to unfold them, continuing

0:49:49.333 --> 0:49:55.573
<v Speaker 2>to learn and you know, I'll be four months into

0:49:55.613 --> 0:49:57.893
<v Speaker 2>marriage here pretty soon, and it's you know, I don't

0:49:57.933 --> 0:49:59.973
<v Speaker 2>have the handbook on this thing by any means, but

0:50:00.613 --> 0:50:03.773
<v Speaker 2>I feel like if I continue to continue to show

0:50:03.853 --> 0:50:05.693
<v Speaker 2>up and love myself health the practice that I do,

0:50:06.813 --> 0:50:09.013
<v Speaker 2>it allows me to be able to love her. Because

0:50:09.013 --> 0:50:11.653
<v Speaker 2>I can't love myself first, then it's going to be

0:50:11.653 --> 0:50:14.133
<v Speaker 2>impossible for me to continue to show up with that

0:50:14.253 --> 0:50:17.973
<v Speaker 2>level of energy for her. So it's an ongoing journey,

0:50:18.013 --> 0:50:19.413
<v Speaker 2>just like everything else we're discussing.

0:50:20.213 --> 0:50:22.893
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, I mean that last thing you said is the

0:50:22.973 --> 0:50:25.333
<v Speaker 3>key thing to remember that we can only love somebody

0:50:25.333 --> 0:50:28.293
<v Speaker 3>else as much as we're willing to love ourselves. And oftentimes,

0:50:28.733 --> 0:50:31.693
<v Speaker 3>like we went through with drugs and alcohol, there was

0:50:31.733 --> 0:50:35.453
<v Speaker 3>a void, a god shaped hole, if you will, inside

0:50:35.493 --> 0:50:38.133
<v Speaker 3>of us, and so we seek we looked outside of

0:50:38.133 --> 0:50:41.053
<v Speaker 3>ourselves to fill that void where It's the same thing

0:50:41.093 --> 0:50:46.453
<v Speaker 3>with love. If you cannot truly love yourself wholeheartedly, you know,

0:50:46.493 --> 0:50:49.253
<v Speaker 3>you will look to the external and ultimately, like when

0:50:49.293 --> 0:50:56.053
<v Speaker 3>we place expectations or all of our validation through the outside,

0:50:56.093 --> 0:50:58.893
<v Speaker 3>we're always going to be disappointed. So you know, when

0:50:58.933 --> 0:51:02.533
<v Speaker 3>we can love ourselves first, you know, let's just say

0:51:01.893 --> 0:51:05.133
<v Speaker 3>you truly have that, and then you find to partner,

0:51:05.533 --> 0:51:07.813
<v Speaker 3>it's like you know how to hold your heart in

0:51:07.813 --> 0:51:10.413
<v Speaker 3>your hand, and then when somebody else comes and also

0:51:10.533 --> 0:51:13.853
<v Speaker 3>holds your heart, it's great. But if that person lets go,

0:51:14.453 --> 0:51:17.453
<v Speaker 3>you're okay because you're still holding your heart. And if

0:51:17.493 --> 0:51:20.333
<v Speaker 3>you don't have that piece, breakups and change like we're

0:51:20.333 --> 0:51:25.053
<v Speaker 3>talking about, can be an absolute disaster. So loving yourself

0:51:25.213 --> 0:51:27.333
<v Speaker 3>has to be priority number one, and then doing so,

0:51:28.133 --> 0:51:31.493
<v Speaker 3>everybody else wins. So I'm glad you brought that up.

0:51:31.533 --> 0:51:34.253
<v Speaker 3>And yeah, just hearing you talk about Kelsey. If you

0:51:34.293 --> 0:51:38.013
<v Speaker 3>have not heard the episode with Kelsey as our guests,

0:51:38.413 --> 0:51:40.573
<v Speaker 3>go back and check that one out. We will definitely

0:51:40.613 --> 0:51:42.933
<v Speaker 3>be having Kelsey on for round two because it's gonna

0:51:42.933 --> 0:51:45.413
<v Speaker 3>be a it's gonna look and sound a lot different

0:51:45.413 --> 0:51:48.293
<v Speaker 3>than it did in episode one where they were friends

0:51:48.333 --> 0:51:51.733
<v Speaker 3>at the time, but they were not lovers yet or partners.

0:51:51.773 --> 0:51:55.053
<v Speaker 3>But that that episode is what activated everything. And if

0:51:55.093 --> 0:51:56.933
<v Speaker 3>you go back and you watch it on YouTube or

0:51:57.373 --> 0:52:00.893
<v Speaker 3>listen to it, you will hear magic happening and kind

0:52:00.893 --> 0:52:04.333
<v Speaker 3>of having You can kind of feel God's hands going

0:52:04.333 --> 0:52:09.733
<v Speaker 3>to work in this beautiful connection. So we've come a

0:52:09.773 --> 0:52:10.373
<v Speaker 3>long way, my.

0:52:10.413 --> 0:52:15.093
<v Speaker 4>Man, no doubt. Man, it's a life. Life continues to

0:52:15.093 --> 0:52:15.493
<v Speaker 4>get better.

0:52:15.533 --> 0:52:17.613
<v Speaker 2>I don't know if somebody I feel like needs to

0:52:17.653 --> 0:52:22.133
<v Speaker 2>hear that that may be in uh, just just in

0:52:22.293 --> 0:52:25.973
<v Speaker 2>shit man, in the mess and like not seeing any

0:52:26.093 --> 0:52:28.693
<v Speaker 2>kind of hope and feeling like we felt at one

0:52:28.733 --> 0:52:31.213
<v Speaker 2>point in time. They just need to hear that life

0:52:31.293 --> 0:52:34.693
<v Speaker 2>gets better. Like my life is only continuing to get better.

0:52:34.733 --> 0:52:39.013
<v Speaker 2>It's not free from adversity, it's not free of difficult

0:52:39.053 --> 0:52:41.573
<v Speaker 2>moments that I need to find ways to work through

0:52:41.613 --> 0:52:45.213
<v Speaker 2>and solutions for But as I continue to work through

0:52:45.213 --> 0:52:48.173
<v Speaker 2>those things and walk in the direction of my fear

0:52:48.173 --> 0:52:52.373
<v Speaker 2>as opposed to running from them, this thing just keeps

0:52:52.373 --> 0:52:57.493
<v Speaker 2>getting better. This ride just keeps getting more meaningful and fulfilling.

0:52:57.013 --> 0:52:59.413
<v Speaker 4>As I go along. Man, So this is a this

0:52:59.493 --> 0:53:00.733
<v Speaker 4>is cool dog. It's a lot.

0:53:00.853 --> 0:53:02.933
<v Speaker 2>It may be a lot for people to take in

0:53:03.213 --> 0:53:05.573
<v Speaker 2>if this is their first time listening to us. If

0:53:05.613 --> 0:53:07.893
<v Speaker 2>you could give somebody like one thing to take away

0:53:07.933 --> 0:53:11.333
<v Speaker 2>that they don't need to miss when they take their

0:53:11.333 --> 0:53:13.933
<v Speaker 2>headphones off when they close out this podcast, Like, what

0:53:14.053 --> 0:53:15.533
<v Speaker 2>do you think that one takeaway would be for you?

0:53:16.453 --> 0:53:18.373
<v Speaker 3>I mean, the only story that matters is the one

0:53:18.413 --> 0:53:21.613
<v Speaker 3>you tell yourself. Right, this is like the comeback stories

0:53:22.213 --> 0:53:24.693
<v Speaker 3>that were we thought of the podcast name. I mean,

0:53:24.693 --> 0:53:26.413
<v Speaker 3>this is what we wanted to We wanted people to

0:53:26.413 --> 0:53:31.173
<v Speaker 3>share their comebacks. But come back story, you know, coming back.

0:53:31.213 --> 0:53:33.573
<v Speaker 3>The essence of meditation is to come back, come back home,

0:53:33.733 --> 0:53:36.053
<v Speaker 3>come back to your breath, come back to your heart.

0:53:37.093 --> 0:53:40.653
<v Speaker 3>But also it's the stories that we tell ourselves. So

0:53:40.733 --> 0:53:43.213
<v Speaker 3>if you have that story, which in my experience as

0:53:43.253 --> 0:53:46.133
<v Speaker 3>a coach and just speaking and talking to everyone, there

0:53:46.173 --> 0:53:49.413
<v Speaker 3>is a not enough story that so many of us,

0:53:49.453 --> 0:53:51.733
<v Speaker 3>almost all of us I believe have, whether it's not

0:53:51.813 --> 0:53:56.293
<v Speaker 3>good enough, not pretty enough, not skinny enough, whatever it is,

0:53:57.133 --> 0:54:00.853
<v Speaker 3>that if that story is running the show, it doesn't

0:54:00.893 --> 0:54:05.133
<v Speaker 3>matter what you acquire, receive, achieve, it's never going to

0:54:05.213 --> 0:54:09.653
<v Speaker 3>be enough. So we have to change the narrative. And

0:54:09.733 --> 0:54:12.613
<v Speaker 3>it does come with work, but we can't do it alone.

0:54:13.333 --> 0:54:16.253
<v Speaker 3>And the work, I promise you, is still an easier,

0:54:16.293 --> 0:54:19.773
<v Speaker 3>softer way than continuing to do things the same old way,

0:54:19.853 --> 0:54:22.933
<v Speaker 3>because nothing changes if nothing changes. So it has to

0:54:22.973 --> 0:54:26.333
<v Speaker 3>start with how we feel about ourselves and then you know,

0:54:26.373 --> 0:54:28.973
<v Speaker 3>the belief system that we have and how we see

0:54:28.973 --> 0:54:31.533
<v Speaker 3>ourselves in the world and how we see the world,

0:54:32.093 --> 0:54:34.573
<v Speaker 3>and from there the internal dialogue and the thoughts can

0:54:34.573 --> 0:54:35.333
<v Speaker 3>start to change.

0:54:35.333 --> 0:54:36.413
<v Speaker 4>But you know, it.

0:54:36.413 --> 0:54:39.893
<v Speaker 3>Comes back to each day doing the work to chip

0:54:39.933 --> 0:54:42.413
<v Speaker 3>away at all the shit that's in the way and

0:54:42.613 --> 0:54:45.373
<v Speaker 3>just honoring that that is going to be the work,

0:54:45.373 --> 0:54:48.573
<v Speaker 3>and the work will become a labor of love eventually,

0:54:48.973 --> 0:54:52.373
<v Speaker 3>like it is work. But it's still the easier, softer way.

0:54:52.413 --> 0:54:55.413
<v Speaker 3>And I think we have to change. The story that

0:54:55.453 --> 0:54:59.253
<v Speaker 3>we're telling ourselves is the most important thing that matters.

0:54:59.053 --> 0:54:59.613
<v Speaker 4>It's powerful.

0:54:59.613 --> 0:55:02.173
<v Speaker 3>What do you got and answer your own question?

0:55:02.933 --> 0:55:06.093
<v Speaker 2>Oh, yeah, I got to I would tell somebody, I

0:55:06.093 --> 0:55:09.333
<v Speaker 2>would reinforce what I said earlier. It's not about what happens,

0:55:09.373 --> 0:55:14.013
<v Speaker 2>it's about your response to what happens. Made clear and

0:55:14.093 --> 0:55:18.813
<v Speaker 2>evident by our own two stories. I got banned from

0:55:18.813 --> 0:55:22.413
<v Speaker 2>the league for over a year for drugs and alcohol.

0:55:22.453 --> 0:55:25.013
<v Speaker 2>If I continue to wallow in self pity and thinking

0:55:25.053 --> 0:55:28.373
<v Speaker 2>that using was going to continue to bring me some

0:55:28.413 --> 0:55:33.013
<v Speaker 2>sort of peace that was long gone, there's no way

0:55:33.053 --> 0:55:35.093
<v Speaker 2>I'm sitting here. But the way that I responded each

0:55:35.133 --> 0:55:39.213
<v Speaker 2>and every day and continue to respond allows me and

0:55:39.253 --> 0:55:43.973
<v Speaker 2>sets me up for life where being a platform, being

0:55:43.973 --> 0:55:48.413
<v Speaker 2>a voice, being somebody, a person of impact is a

0:55:48.453 --> 0:55:50.893
<v Speaker 2>possibility just by the way that I responded and said,

0:55:50.933 --> 0:55:53.653
<v Speaker 2>this thing that happened in my life, this thing that

0:55:53.733 --> 0:55:55.973
<v Speaker 2>I take ownership for, is not going to define me.

0:55:56.733 --> 0:55:58.333
<v Speaker 2>Somebody may be listening to this. They spent time in

0:55:58.373 --> 0:56:00.613
<v Speaker 2>a sale. That doesn't have to define you. Somebody may

0:56:00.653 --> 0:56:02.733
<v Speaker 2>have been abused that's listening to this, that doesn't have

0:56:02.853 --> 0:56:05.493
<v Speaker 2>to define you. It's all about your response to that,

0:56:05.853 --> 0:56:08.133
<v Speaker 2>a loving response, and you respond to that with the

0:56:08.213 --> 0:56:11.133
<v Speaker 2>story that you tell yourself. That's the only thing that's

0:56:11.133 --> 0:56:13.053
<v Speaker 2>going to allow you to put one foot in front

0:56:13.053 --> 0:56:15.893
<v Speaker 2>of the other, just leaving a crack of the door

0:56:15.933 --> 0:56:20.093
<v Speaker 2>open towards faith and hope in whatever it is that

0:56:20.133 --> 0:56:24.933
<v Speaker 2>you believe in. That's the only way is responding to circumstances,

0:56:24.933 --> 0:56:26.853
<v Speaker 2>because things are going to happen that are out of

0:56:26.853 --> 0:56:29.533
<v Speaker 2>your control and that may have been totally in your control.

0:56:29.853 --> 0:56:33.053
<v Speaker 2>But there's no one event, there's no one circumstance, there's

0:56:33.093 --> 0:56:38.213
<v Speaker 2>no one day or moment that can define you good

0:56:38.333 --> 0:56:41.093
<v Speaker 2>or bad. It's all about our consistent response and our

0:56:41.093 --> 0:56:44.413
<v Speaker 2>consistent approach to the adversity that comes our way. So

0:56:45.613 --> 0:56:47.933
<v Speaker 2>if you need one nugget to take with you on

0:56:47.933 --> 0:56:50.853
<v Speaker 2>the road, please take that, don't let it go, and

0:56:50.973 --> 0:56:55.813
<v Speaker 2>please remember what Donnie just said, because this is powerful stuff,

0:56:55.853 --> 0:56:58.813
<v Speaker 2>this stuff that has changed our lives, and we're excited

0:56:58.853 --> 0:57:01.293
<v Speaker 2>to watch your lives change as well on this journey

0:57:01.333 --> 0:57:06.573
<v Speaker 2>with us. So we're grateful, grateful that you guys are

0:57:06.573 --> 0:57:09.573
<v Speaker 2>rejoining us this season for this show. Like I said,

0:57:09.613 --> 0:57:11.013
<v Speaker 2>what was your first time where you've been with us

0:57:11.013 --> 0:57:15.013
<v Speaker 2>since day one. We're grateful that you're coming back. We're

0:57:15.013 --> 0:57:17.333
<v Speaker 2>going to keep coming back. Go tell somebody else that

0:57:17.373 --> 0:57:19.813
<v Speaker 2>we've come back for season three. This is going to

0:57:19.813 --> 0:57:23.893
<v Speaker 2>be an amazing ride. We've got some amazing guests. Can't

0:57:23.893 --> 0:57:26.293
<v Speaker 2>wait for you guys to take in all that we're

0:57:26.333 --> 0:57:27.973
<v Speaker 2>going to create and all that we're going to talk about.

0:57:28.733 --> 0:57:31.693
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, I just echo all of those same things. And

0:57:31.733 --> 0:57:33.653
<v Speaker 3>if you're out there and you still don't know where

0:57:33.693 --> 0:57:35.893
<v Speaker 3>to start, hopefully you have maybe a little bit more

0:57:35.933 --> 0:57:39.453
<v Speaker 3>awareness or something that Darren and I spoke today that

0:57:39.493 --> 0:57:41.973
<v Speaker 3>maybe spoke to your heart. One of the best things

0:57:42.013 --> 0:57:44.893
<v Speaker 3>you can do is just talk about it. If there's

0:57:44.933 --> 0:57:47.293
<v Speaker 3>someone out there and you want to share our podcast

0:57:47.373 --> 0:57:50.173
<v Speaker 3>and have some downloads with the person you know, one

0:57:50.213 --> 0:57:52.733
<v Speaker 3>of your friends or mentors, to just talk about these

0:57:52.773 --> 0:57:55.453
<v Speaker 3>new AHAs that you're having. You know, it has to

0:57:55.493 --> 0:57:57.933
<v Speaker 3>start somewhere. You can't do it alone. And it just

0:57:57.973 --> 0:58:01.293
<v Speaker 3>goes back to our mission to remind people that you're

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<v Speaker 3>not alone. And the only story that matters is the

0:58:03.653 --> 0:58:07.493
<v Speaker 3>one you tell yourself. But we do this work together.

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<v Speaker 3>We cannot do it alone. And I'll just keep reminding

0:58:10.973 --> 0:58:14.333
<v Speaker 3>our listeners and I have to remind myself that often too.

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<v Speaker 3>But this is the power of the collective and why

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<v Speaker 3>we're here.

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<v Speaker 2>Powerful stuff. So we can't wait for you guys to

0:58:20.133 --> 0:58:22.213
<v Speaker 2>join us. Next week got special guests, someone that you

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<v Speaker 2>may have noticed from ESPN back in the day, but

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<v Speaker 2>a man who.

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<v Speaker 4>Is a storyteller, a podcast host.

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<v Speaker 2>A man by the name of Michael smith Man that

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<v Speaker 2>we can't wait to talk to and share that conversation

0:58:33.733 --> 0:58:35.493
<v Speaker 2>with you. So we hope you guys have a blessed

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<v Speaker 2>week and we're gonna catch it in.

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<v Speaker 1>Comeback Stories is a production of Inflection Network and iHeartRadio.

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<v Speaker 1>For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcast,

0:58:52.453 --> 0:58:54.093
<v Speaker 1>or wherever you get your podcasts.