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Speaker 1: This is John.

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Speaker 2: This is your og Okay Storytime podcast hosts, and we have.

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Speaker 3: Some rocking stories for you coming up.

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Speaker 2: But before you rock out with your socks out, I

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Speaker 2: got a quick chum in an ad break from a sponsors,

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Speaker 2: keeping the show rocking and rolling.

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Speaker 4: My sister has always been the golden child. Our parents

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Speaker 4: only care about her achievements.

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Speaker 1: She's just better.

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Speaker 4: She's just better. I have five siblings, an older brother thirty,

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Speaker 4: two older sisters twenty seven and twenty two, a younger

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Speaker 4: sister twenty and a younger brother eighteen. My second oldest sister,

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Speaker 4: I'll call her Biebie is a year apart from me

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Speaker 4: and has always been the golden child. Not to say

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Speaker 4: that the rest of us were skitcoats. By the way,

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Speaker 4: this comes from Naikuku on the Okay Storytime Separate. So

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Speaker 4: Bibe did everything. She kept straight a's through school, was

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Speaker 4: always MVP or champion on her sports and academic teams.

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Speaker 4: Our parents kept a bunch of shells for her trophies

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Speaker 4: and medals, and it was always filled. They kept having

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Speaker 4: to add more space. Since the rest of my siblings

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Speaker 4: and I also did athletics and such. We all also

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Speaker 4: got shelves for our trophies, but they were never as

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Speaker 4: filled and never as successful as Bebees. Dang. She was

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Speaker 4: competitive and always a winner. The only sport we ever

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Speaker 4: equals in was soccer because we played on the same team,

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Speaker 4: but she always got MVP. There was a little resentment, yeah,

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Speaker 4: but I knew it had to be benched Bhebe didn't

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Speaker 4: have an ego or anything. She was just good at

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Speaker 4: what she did and it wasn't her fault that our

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Speaker 4: parents recognized it.

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Speaker 5: We got along really well.

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Speaker 4: We both go to school near to our parents' place,

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Speaker 4: but they've been in the process of moving houses and

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Speaker 4: doing remodels, so neither of us have been able to visit.

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Speaker 4: I know that Beebe continues to do sports, and actually

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Speaker 4: is most of her college paid for by sports scholarships.

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Speaker 4: Oh wow, our parents remodels were finished, and we both

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Speaker 4: came down to celebrate. They gave us the tour and

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Speaker 4: in the living room they have a huge shelf of trophies.

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Speaker 4: I figured they had consolidated all the trophies, but later

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Speaker 4: on I went down while everyone was out on the

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Speaker 4: deck and read the name plates. They are all bbs.

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Speaker 4: I could understand if my parents had maybe gotten rid

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Speaker 4: of my older sisters. Most of her were we're participation.

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Speaker 4: He's like, who cares if they got rid of her

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Speaker 4: my sister, Yeah, but mine, that's where I draw the line.

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Speaker 4: But my brother was really successful with the cross and

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Speaker 4: I did good at soccer and swimming. My younger sister

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Speaker 4: had numerous academic accolades. My younger brother is a really

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Speaker 4: talented weightlifter and wrestler. The fact that they got rid

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Speaker 4: of all of our trophies for bebies is insulting.

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Speaker 1: That is kind of crazy.

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Speaker 4: That's crazy.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you could like they got trophies too, You had shelves,

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Speaker 1: You got five shelves, you got five kids. Boom boom

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Speaker 1: boom boom boom.

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Speaker 4: Everyone gets one shelf and if you can't fit it

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Speaker 4: all on one shelf, then goes to storage.

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Speaker 1: Yep, but that's crazy, BBeB. Maybe you better be in

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Speaker 1: the Olympics. I would do this for my kids. They

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Speaker 1: were in the Olympics. Yeah, and then we sold our

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Speaker 1: house and went to a museum and they got to

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Speaker 1: see that show.

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Speaker 4: I saw there was this one like parent of an

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Speaker 4: olympian who posted kind of just like a oh I

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Speaker 4: love my children post on Instagram, and the first post

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Speaker 4: was like, I'm so proud of my children. I can't

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Speaker 4: remember which olympian was, but it was like, I'm so

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Speaker 4: out of my daughter, she's a gold medalist Olympian. And

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Speaker 4: then I'm so proud of my son he graduated seventh grade.

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Speaker 4: Oh my gosh, I'm assuming ours are either in storage

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Speaker 4: or the garbage because they're not up anywhere else in

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Speaker 4: the house. Our parents have never treated us any differently.

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Speaker 4: They love and appreciate us equally, but I guess not.

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Speaker 4: I just feel insulted. I was always vocal about how

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Speaker 4: much I love soccer and how important it was to me,

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Speaker 4: and when I moved on to college, I kept with it.

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Speaker 4: Sure I was never the best, but I was good

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Speaker 4: and I got trophies and medals. They just got rid

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Speaker 4: of them all for Beebe. I don't know how to feel.

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Speaker 4: Am I just being petty? What could I even say

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Speaker 4: to my parents right now? All I want to say

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Speaker 4: is screw you guys, But I feel like that's unreasonable

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Speaker 4: for a twenty one year old. Is there anything I

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Speaker 4: can say to them? Seriously? Is this just me being petty?

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Speaker 1: Nah?

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Speaker 4: Better, you just need to go harder at these sports.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it seems like you're just a failure. But I

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Speaker 1: have to live with that for the rest of your life.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, no, I think you're I think you could have

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Speaker 4: a conversation with your parents and either say like, hey,

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Speaker 4: can I where did you put my medals? Can I

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Speaker 4: have them? Or just like, hey, it seems like you

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Speaker 4: guys are really only focusing on BB and the rest

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Speaker 4: of us are feeling a little left out. And also

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Speaker 4: talk to your siblings about it, see how they're feeling.

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Speaker 1: Talk to BB to BB, what do you think about this?

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Speaker 1: Maybe B and then use that against your parents and

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Speaker 1: she gives you if they're like, oh, I think it's

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Speaker 1: all fair. I think it's all equal. M m, maybe

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Speaker 1: you're crazy. It's not.

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Speaker 4: No, get all of the siblings united, and then go

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Speaker 4: after the parents.

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Speaker 1: Here's the knife. Yeah, in between the ribs, you get BB,

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Speaker 1: you say it's unfair.

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Speaker 4: Mm hmm. You say yeah, you all go up to

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Speaker 4: the parents, and then Bbe steps up as you're representative

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Speaker 4: and says, hey, I've noticed that I've been getting a

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Speaker 4: lot of attention and that's not all fair. And they're like, oh, Bybee,

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Speaker 4: that's so nice of you. We should make it an even

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Speaker 4: bigger shelf for you. There's an update. So I spoke

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Speaker 4: to Bbe the night I wrote my post. I pointed

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Speaker 4: out that it was only her trophies on the shelf

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Speaker 4: and it wasn't my favorite interaction. I think being away

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Speaker 4: from her for so long definitely changed my perception of her,

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Speaker 4: and I didn't really notice that she had changed, especially

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Speaker 4: her ego.

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Speaker 5: Babe nuts, she's a monster.

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Speaker 4: What's much? I showed her each trophy and name plate,

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Speaker 4: and she went, well, of course, through my trophies. When

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Speaker 4: was the last time you got better than a bronze

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Speaker 4: bb bb BB? I asked her if it didn't upset

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Speaker 4: or that the rest of ours were basically hidden, even

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Speaker 4: though we've had a lot of dedication to our activities,

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Speaker 4: and she said, no, dedication doesn't make you a winner.

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Speaker 4: Bbe told me I was wasting her time, told me

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Speaker 4: to grow up and get over myself. Then she went

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Speaker 4: to go hang out with our parents, and I think

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Speaker 4: I finally got it. She was the golden child and

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Speaker 4: we were the scapegoats. The entire time I've been there,

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Speaker 4: they'd been hanging out with Bebe, and I was there too.

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Speaker 4: I felt so upset, and admittedly I self imploded. Having

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Speaker 4: my own sister that I looked up to and admired

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Speaker 4: treat me like that was just a slap in the face.

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Speaker 4: Our older siblings were so far in age from us

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Speaker 4: that we really got close and relying on each other. Later,

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Speaker 4: I got my parents separated from Beebee and asked. They

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Speaker 4: pretty much echoed her, telling me I hadn't earned my

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Speaker 4: spot on the shelf and that my trophies had gone

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Speaker 4: in the garbage because they didn't impress any anybody the

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Speaker 4: way that Bebe's did, and said that I was an

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Speaker 4: adult and I should basically just suck it up. I've

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Speaker 4: never been more hurt by anything.

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Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, your parents and BB sucked low contact, literally.

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Speaker 4: Low condoct maybe no conduct until they freaking figure out

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Speaker 4: that they were monsters. I don't think I fully realized

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Speaker 4: the scope of it when I was younger, but it

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Speaker 4: clicks now. My game was on the same day as Bebe's.

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Speaker 4: They went to hers. They brought snacks to Bbe's competition,

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Speaker 4: but not mine. Everything for BB was hosted at our house,

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Speaker 4: but nothing for the rest of us. I pushed so

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Speaker 4: much of it aside and called all my suspicions jealousy

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Speaker 4: because my relationship with my sister was more important, but

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Speaker 4: it didn't matter half as much to her. Her ego

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Speaker 4: had gotten stroke for years and years, and they finally

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Speaker 4: let it come out and rear its ugly head. I

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Speaker 4: was just flat out offended, especially that they thought everything

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Speaker 4: out as though we didn't matter as much as Bebe.

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Speaker 4: They'd thrown it all out. I was just so mad

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Speaker 4: that I ended up leaving and my parents yelled at

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Speaker 4: me for causing drama.

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Speaker 1: What your parents, SOB, You madeb Be sad?

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Speaker 4: You maybe be sad?

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Speaker 3: Please?

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Speaker 1: Bbe won't eat anything. Now it's your fault.

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Speaker 4: Byby's like, I'm so upset that p would be so

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Speaker 4: jealous of my accomplishments and her parents like, baby, no, Bybe,

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Speaker 4: what you did to b B. Look what you did

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Speaker 4: to Bebe?

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Speaker 5: Apologize to BB.

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Speaker 4: But you know what always has drama us. You can

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Speaker 4: join us live every week to have through PMPSD on YouTube,

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Speaker 4: Facebook and TikTok to see all of that juicy juicy drama.

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Speaker 4: Just tap her profile and there is a little bit left.

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Speaker 4: But uh dang dang, BBeB fell from grace. She was

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Speaker 4: so cool, she had it all. She was nice. She

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Speaker 4: was talented and now she's just a monster.

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Speaker 1: I wouldn't know what it's like to be a golden child.

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Speaker 4: I don't know, no, but it is, you know what.

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Speaker 4: It is really annoying when like, people who are really

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Speaker 4: good at stuff are horrible, Oh horrible people.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: I'm like, oh, why are you so talented? You know?

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Speaker 4: And they know they're talented too.

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Speaker 1: I'm not humble about it. It's like rub it in

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Speaker 1: your face.

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Speaker 4: They're like, yeah, I'm talented. I deserve this.

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Speaker 1: I having a good sportsmanship.

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Speaker 4: If you're not humble, what are you doing?

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Speaker 1: Exactly?

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Speaker 4: But uh, there is a little bit left to this.

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Speaker 4: I told my siblings about what had happened because I

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Speaker 4: thought they had a right to know that their trophies

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Speaker 4: got removed, and I did try to sound unbiased. It

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Speaker 4: didn't really work, because my whole family is in a

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Speaker 4: dramatic sinkhole. My younger brother called her parents sobbing. My

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Speaker 4: oldest sister has been playing passive aggressive and just flat

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Speaker 4: out aggressive phone tag with Biebe, and my little sister

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Speaker 4: was so upset she just called me bawling. All I've

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Speaker 4: been trying to do damage control, but everyone else is

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Speaker 4: just mad. For what's happened. We all got a text

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Speaker 4: from Biebe that basically read like, I'm sorry, I'm better

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Speaker 4: than you, but I deserve our parents love more than you. Bybe,

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Speaker 4: You're crazy, which naturally got everyone riled up again and

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Speaker 4: just caused more problems. This has been basically the worst

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Speaker 4: week of my life and I hate it. So, yeah,

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Speaker 4: there's my update. My family won't speak to one another

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Speaker 4: and we're all in a big dramatic mess something.

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Speaker 1: Like Iron Calls.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Also, I found out the sad part about Iron.

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Speaker 4: Cole that it's even sadder and that more siblings passed away.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, they had like another sibling passed away.

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Speaker 4: That movie is devastating.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, but dude, yeah, this is modern the modern modernization

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Speaker 1: of ironclore. H.

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Speaker 4: This is sad. This is sad. Bybe, You're you're stupid. Yeah, Opie,

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Speaker 4: I think you just stick with your other siblings and

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Speaker 4: you let BB pass you by. Maybe can have your

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Speaker 4: parents and you can have all of your other siblings.

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Speaker 4: And it sucks, but maybe that's the way it needs

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Speaker 4: to be for some time.

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Speaker 1: Bacs backs Fax Facs.

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Speaker 4: But that is the end of that story.

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Speaker 1: My daughter is upset with me because I paid for

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Speaker 1: her sister's weddings.

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Speaker 4: And not hers.

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Speaker 1: Maybe there's a double standard here. Am I the a

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Speaker 1: hole for only paying for one of my daughter's weddings

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Speaker 1: and down payment? So I fifty mail have three kids,

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Speaker 1: Sarah thirty five female, Jessica twenty five female, and Ben

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Speaker 1: twenty three mail. My wife and I had Sarah when

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Speaker 1: we were both sixteen. It wasn't easy, but with our parents' support,

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Speaker 1: we could finish college while we raised her. By the way,

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Speaker 1: this comes from practice complete one on the r slash

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Speaker 1: Okay story Tom subur So. When it was time for

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Speaker 1: her to go to college, we didn't have money to

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Speaker 1: help her, so she took out loans and paid for

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Speaker 1: them herself. We learned from our mistakes and started saving

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Speaker 1: for other siblings Jessica unbin, who got around a one

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Speaker 1: hundred K fund for college and had no debt. Through

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Speaker 1: all of this, Sarah never complained. She finished her education,

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Speaker 1: got a fantastic job, and could repay the loans in

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Speaker 1: just three years, while staying with us to save as

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Speaker 1: much as possible. She has also helped us a lot

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Speaker 1: with babysitting her younger siblings and has always been selfless

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Speaker 1: and helped out in any way she could, maybe even

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Speaker 1: to a fault.

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Speaker 4: Wow, that's crazy.

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Speaker 1: So when she told me five years ago she was

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Speaker 1: getting married, I talked to my wife and told her

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Speaker 1: how bad I felt that we never did anything for her,

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Speaker 1: and that I wanted to give her the inheritance I

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Speaker 1: got from my grandmother, which was around fifty K, to

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Speaker 1: help her pay for the wedding and down payment on

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Speaker 1: the house. Luckily, my wife agreed, and even though she

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Speaker 1: didn't really need it, I know it meant a lot time.

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Speaker 4: Okay. I was so worried that the title meant like, oh,

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Speaker 4: he was going to pay for the younger daughter and

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Speaker 4: not for this older daughter's wedding. But this makes so

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Speaker 4: much more sense than I think. That's very fair.

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Speaker 1: So right now, Yeah, Sarah has gotten a fifty k

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Speaker 1: for wedding and house.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: And Jessica and Ben have gotten one hundred k each

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Speaker 1: for the college.

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Speaker 4: Yeah and yeah, and Sarah had to spend all of

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Speaker 4: her money on college, had.

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Speaker 1: Paid it off and saved a lot.

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Speaker 4: And yeah.

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Speaker 1: The issue is this, Jessica is getting married next year

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Speaker 1: and had assumed we would plan a similar gift for her,

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Speaker 1: which she was quite surprised when I told her we

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Speaker 1: never discussed such plans and even if we wanted to,

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Speaker 1: we didn't have the budget for her. She just told

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Speaker 1: us it wasn't fair that we paid for her sister

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Speaker 1: but would not do the same for her. I tried

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Speaker 1: to explain the situation, telling her that in the long run,

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Speaker 1: we spent twice as much on her and her brother

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Speaker 1: as we ever did on Sarah. However, she insisted that

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Speaker 1: Sarah was already well off, noting that Sarah and her

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Speaker 1: husband had paid off the house and were doing extremely

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Speaker 1: well financially. I told her that this had nothing to

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Speaker 1: do with how much money her sister had. This was

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Speaker 1: us finally being able to do something for her oldest child,

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Speaker 1: who had to sacrifice so much because we had her

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Speaker 1: at such a young age. She didn't take it well,

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Speaker 1: left angry and won't speak to us. My wife thinks

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Speaker 1: we should maybe take out a small loan and give

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Speaker 1: her the money, because she isn't used to not talking

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Speaker 1: to her kids and is sad she is left out

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Speaker 1: of wedding preparations. She is even afraid of us not

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Speaker 1: getting invited to the wedding. But I have to put

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Speaker 1: my foot down and won't budge because she is not

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Speaker 1: entitled to our money. Yeah, yeah, agreed.

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Speaker 4: No, I think I think you could have a conversation

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Speaker 4: with her and say, hey, like, if you're having money troubles,

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Speaker 4: let's try, Like, let's try, and I will help you

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Speaker 4: try and figure out a budget, or will help you

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Speaker 4: try and get your own loan. But like, we can't,

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Speaker 4: we can't give you that money now.

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Speaker 1: Even Sarah is saying that this is getting out of

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Speaker 1: hand and even offered to pay half because of the money.

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Speaker 1: But personally, I'm at a point where I'd rather burn

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Speaker 1: the fifty k than give it to her. Sarah and

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Speaker 1: my wife think that it is not worth destroying our

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Speaker 1: family over, but I think that giving in will only

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Speaker 1: make her more entitled in the long I think so.

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Speaker 5: I think.

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Speaker 4: So Sarah's got nothing, and Sarah's doing the same thing

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Speaker 4: that she's done her whole life, which is giving up

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Speaker 4: stuff to help her family out, being selfless, being selfless,

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Speaker 4: And if Jessica can't realize that, then that's her own problem.

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Speaker 1: I want to see more red flags. I want to

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Speaker 1: see what else in this world has happened. Yeah, we

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Speaker 1: have an update. Thank you all for the fantastic comments.

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Speaker 1: Blah blah blah blah. I haveter reading the comments, I

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Speaker 1: feel even more convinced that I was in the riot.

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Speaker 1: So I sat down with my wife to talk. Following

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Speaker 1: many of your suggestions, I showed her the posts and

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Speaker 1: asked her to read it. She wasn't happy, especially when

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Speaker 1: she saw how many people had read it, but she

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Speaker 1: was also really curious. This has been on her mind

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Speaker 1: a lot lately, and she wanted to know while all

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Speaker 1: of you were thinking, she had a few issues with

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Speaker 1: my comments. She believes that when I said I would

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Speaker 1: rather burn the money, it indicates that I need to

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Speaker 1: change my approach to problem solving. While it might be

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Speaker 1: easy for people on the internet to suggest that parents

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Speaker 1: cut off contact with their child, she is not ready

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Speaker 1: to lose her little girl. Additionally, she thinks my statement

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Speaker 1: of doing my duty and wanting to take care of

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Speaker 1: her myself comes across as selfish and not something as

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Speaker 1: a parent should say.

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Speaker 4: I think that if they keep acquiescing to what you

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Speaker 4: know when Jessica wants, then she's just going to keep

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Speaker 4: demanding more and more.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and then there.

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Speaker 4: Is going to come a time when she's like, well,

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Speaker 4: you don't do this, I'm going to cut you off,

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Speaker 4: and she's going to keep using that as an excuse

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Speaker 4: to get you guys to come back and do what

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Speaker 4: she wants.

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Speaker 1: She believes there is a reasonable compromise. Instead of giving

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Speaker 1: her the full fifty K, we can offer for half

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Speaker 1: of the wedding. This way, she can cover most of

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Speaker 1: the expenses from our savings, borrow the rest from Sarah

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Speaker 1: if needed, and pay her back within a year. I

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Speaker 1: told her right away that I am not going to

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Speaker 1: do that. I told her that we could separate our

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Speaker 1: finances and that she could return to full time work

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Speaker 1: to help Jessica pay for the wedding. However, made it

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Speaker 1: clear I was done as selfish as it may seem.

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Speaker 1: I didn't feel obligated to Jessica anymore, and I want

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Speaker 1: to enjoy my life while I still can. She replied,

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Speaker 1: as she always does, that I'm stubborn and that she

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Speaker 1: would need to take that step if it meant keeping

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Speaker 1: the family together. I told her it was fine, but

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Speaker 1: not to come to me complaining about her health. When

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Speaker 1: she went back to work full time a couple of

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Speaker 1: days ago, she came to me and said that she

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Speaker 1: agreed with my proposal. We made a plan to open

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Speaker 1: a joint bank account where we would deposit our monthly expenses.

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Speaker 1: After that we can use our personal money however we like.

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Speaker 1: We decided on an amount to keep our savings account

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Speaker 1: for emergencies and agreed to split the remaining funds fifty

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Speaker 1: to fifty. I even agreed to cover sixty percent of

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Speaker 1: the money needed for our joint expenses. This is the

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Speaker 1: first time we will have more than one bank account,

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Speaker 1: so I am a bit nervous about how it will

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Speaker 1: turn out. I also believe she mentioned talking to her

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Speaker 1: boss about working more hours, but I want to avoid

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Speaker 1: getting involved in that discussion. But we have discussion every

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Speaker 1: weekday at three pm PSD. We need to join us

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Speaker 1: live on YouTube, Facebook and TikTok. Come along, Tap a profile,

377
00:16:09,040 --> 00:16:12,640
Speaker 1: tap it. The wife believes, yes, making her daughter happy

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Speaker 1: is for her to work, and yeah, just her to

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Speaker 1: work a full time job, but to work over time.

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Speaker 4: Apparently yeah, And apparently her daughter's totally fine with that,

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Speaker 4: which is so so.

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Speaker 1: Oh my gosh. Did you see that TikTok trend of

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Speaker 1: the guy The girl was like, hey, paye, I can't

384
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Speaker 1: pay the mortgage for this month, and the guy's like, Billy,

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Speaker 1: She's like, yeah, I can't. He's like, well, can you

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Speaker 1: work over your time on the weekend. It's crazy, Like

387
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Speaker 1: I don't want to work. I don't want to have

388
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Speaker 1: to work a job. But it was fake. It was fake. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: So like that was like, oh my gosh.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, there's rage bait things.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, but that's what's happening here.

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Speaker 6: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: I can't imagine asking my parents to work hard like now,

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00:16:47,360 --> 00:16:48,880
Speaker 4: not when I you know, different, When I was a child,

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Speaker 4: I didn't know about that. But now, as in a

396
00:16:51,240 --> 00:16:54,640
Speaker 4: you know, new adult, I guess to ask them to

397
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Speaker 4: work more hours to pay for something in my life.

398
00:16:59,040 --> 00:17:03,000
Speaker 4: That's crazy, That is crazy absurd. Yeah, no, this is ridiculous.

399
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Speaker 4: I do, however, think that it is a good decision

400
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Speaker 4: to have a separate account, because it is.

401
00:17:09,040 --> 00:17:09,359
Speaker 6: It is.

402
00:17:09,520 --> 00:17:12,400
Speaker 4: I mean, it's kind of unfair for regardless of whether

403
00:17:12,520 --> 00:17:14,640
Speaker 4: I think it's a good decision or not, Op's wife

404
00:17:14,720 --> 00:17:18,440
Speaker 4: is allowed to make certain monetary decisions for herself, even

405
00:17:18,440 --> 00:17:20,920
Speaker 4: if they're bad ones, and so I think that having

406
00:17:21,000 --> 00:17:24,040
Speaker 4: their separate accounts for them to make whatever decision they

407
00:17:24,080 --> 00:17:27,159
Speaker 4: want is a good idea because then it just it

408
00:17:27,280 --> 00:17:29,800
Speaker 4: won't breed resentment where one party is like, well I

409
00:17:29,800 --> 00:17:31,159
Speaker 4: don't want to use that money that way, and the

410
00:17:31,200 --> 00:17:32,680
Speaker 4: other person's like, I don't want to use that money

411
00:17:32,680 --> 00:17:34,679
Speaker 4: that way. Now you both have your own accounts, you

412
00:17:34,680 --> 00:17:35,880
Speaker 4: can do whatever you want with them.

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00:17:36,040 --> 00:17:39,120
Speaker 1: I spoke with Sarah and express my concerns about giving

414
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Speaker 1: Jessica any money, which I believe is a bad idea. However,

415
00:17:42,680 --> 00:17:46,080
Speaker 1: Sarah insists that she wants to help. She mentioned that

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00:17:46,200 --> 00:17:49,440
Speaker 1: while she agrees with my viewpoint, she doesn't want their

417
00:17:49,440 --> 00:17:52,480
Speaker 1: mom to return to work full time. She clarified that

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00:17:52,560 --> 00:17:55,840
Speaker 1: her decision to help was aimed at supporting their mom

419
00:17:56,080 --> 00:17:58,760
Speaker 1: and not Jessica. I told her that this was her

420
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Speaker 1: money and she could do as she pleased, but like

421
00:18:01,000 --> 00:18:04,320
Speaker 1: her mom, I wouldn't involve myself in the situation any further.

422
00:18:04,480 --> 00:18:06,520
Speaker 1: Right before I wrote this post, I sent an email

423
00:18:06,600 --> 00:18:10,440
Speaker 1: to Jessica expressing my feelings for her. I clarified where

424
00:18:10,480 --> 00:18:14,359
Speaker 1: I stood and mentioned that she could decide how involved

425
00:18:14,520 --> 00:18:16,960
Speaker 1: I would be in her wedding. I don't expect to reply,

426
00:18:17,200 --> 00:18:19,560
Speaker 1: but now I have to wait and see what happens.

427
00:18:19,640 --> 00:18:21,840
Speaker 4: We got neded, what does Jessica get to say?

428
00:18:21,960 --> 00:18:26,200
Speaker 1: Jessica's definitely going no contact. Yeah, no, I.

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Speaker 4: Didn't want to see you. And you're not invited to

430
00:18:28,000 --> 00:18:31,720
Speaker 4: my wedding anymore. Too bad. No one cares. Sarah's Wedding's

431
00:18:31,720 --> 00:18:32,640
Speaker 4: going to be better than yours.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, oh yeah, and you're gonna be mad and

433
00:18:34,680 --> 00:18:35,199
Speaker 1: sad about that.

434
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Speaker 5: Yeah.

435
00:18:35,760 --> 00:18:39,320
Speaker 1: I realize now that I didn't explain something clearly. My

436
00:18:39,400 --> 00:18:41,960
Speaker 1: wife wants to pay twenty five K for the wedding,

437
00:18:42,119 --> 00:18:45,080
Speaker 1: which she and Sarah have agreed to split. She believes

438
00:18:45,200 --> 00:18:48,480
Speaker 1: this is a reasonable compromise, but I disagree with her.

439
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Speaker 4: Uh freakin' Jessica gets what she wants because she's a

440
00:18:54,200 --> 00:18:55,240
Speaker 4: little brat.

441
00:18:55,040 --> 00:18:57,879
Speaker 1: Just because twenty five What is Jessica doing? Imagine me

442
00:18:57,960 --> 00:18:59,880
Speaker 1: complaining to my parents about you want.

443
00:18:59,800 --> 00:19:02,080
Speaker 4: To get married? Can you give me money?

444
00:19:02,200 --> 00:19:02,400
Speaker 7: Moon?

445
00:19:03,080 --> 00:19:07,159
Speaker 1: I that's so unfair. Also, the fiance of Jessica, Oh

446
00:19:07,200 --> 00:19:07,520
Speaker 1: my god.

447
00:19:07,600 --> 00:19:10,360
Speaker 4: Yeah, what are you thinking? Is can his family pay

448
00:19:10,440 --> 00:19:11,960
Speaker 4: or they just make it pay?

449
00:19:12,320 --> 00:19:15,080
Speaker 1: Yeah? I'd like to understand that situation. And what would

450
00:19:15,080 --> 00:19:16,440
Speaker 1: he do if he knew about this information?

451
00:19:16,640 --> 00:19:17,480
Speaker 4: Yeah?

452
00:19:17,560 --> 00:19:19,480
Speaker 5: I would in Is he part of this?

453
00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:20,320
Speaker 8: Yeah?

454
00:19:20,400 --> 00:19:22,479
Speaker 4: Oh it's the back of the hand. Thank you appreciate it.

455
00:19:22,760 --> 00:19:24,000
Speaker 1: That's the end of that story.

456
00:19:25,280 --> 00:19:28,879
Speaker 4: My monster mother said, I'm too impure to wear white

457
00:19:28,880 --> 00:19:32,040
Speaker 4: at my wedding. She's no longer invited. You can wear

458
00:19:32,080 --> 00:19:35,240
Speaker 4: red cause you're the freaking devil. Thirty female. I got

459
00:19:35,280 --> 00:19:38,359
Speaker 4: engaged a few weeks ago. I am incredibly excited. We're

460
00:19:38,400 --> 00:19:41,920
Speaker 4: excited for you too. We actually already have a beautiful, happy,

461
00:19:41,960 --> 00:19:44,840
Speaker 4: and inquisitive four year old daughter together. We've been living

462
00:19:44,840 --> 00:19:47,280
Speaker 4: together since my daughter was born and have been together

463
00:19:47,359 --> 00:19:50,359
Speaker 4: for seven years now, so it already feels like we're married,

464
00:19:50,480 --> 00:19:52,480
Speaker 4: but we want to make it official before we start

465
00:19:52,480 --> 00:19:54,560
Speaker 4: trying for a second. By the way, this comes from

466
00:19:54,680 --> 00:19:57,560
Speaker 4: Environmental Legal seventy eight on the OK storytime Separate.

467
00:19:57,960 --> 00:19:58,160
Speaker 5: So.

468
00:19:58,320 --> 00:20:01,639
Speaker 4: I met my fiance Joey thirty three male my first

469
00:20:01,760 --> 00:20:04,199
Speaker 4: year of law school. We started dating, and in the

470
00:20:04,200 --> 00:20:06,200
Speaker 4: fall of my last year of law school, I found

471
00:20:06,240 --> 00:20:09,640
Speaker 4: out I was pregnant. I was only twenty five at

472
00:20:09,640 --> 00:20:12,000
Speaker 4: the time, was getting ready to start my career, and

473
00:20:12,160 --> 00:20:16,680
Speaker 4: wasn't married or engaged, so it was a terrifying experience. Luckily,

474
00:20:16,800 --> 00:20:19,160
Speaker 4: Joey was supportive of me. He said he'd respect whatever

475
00:20:19,240 --> 00:20:21,800
Speaker 4: decision I made and that he'd support me no matter what.

476
00:20:22,000 --> 00:20:25,240
Speaker 4: His parents were terrified and definitely thought I should terminate

477
00:20:25,280 --> 00:20:27,639
Speaker 4: when we first told them, but they were also kind

478
00:20:27,760 --> 00:20:30,600
Speaker 4: and understanding. Initially, I was going to terminate the pregnancy

479
00:20:30,680 --> 00:20:32,879
Speaker 4: and went to the clinic twice, but I couldn't go

480
00:20:32,920 --> 00:20:35,760
Speaker 4: through with it. I come from an ultra conservative Christian family,

481
00:20:35,840 --> 00:20:38,600
Speaker 4: and my mom especially doesn't think people should have spicy

482
00:20:38,600 --> 00:20:41,280
Speaker 4: sleep before marriage. My two older sisters got married in

483
00:20:41,320 --> 00:20:43,720
Speaker 4: their early twenties and are now stay at home moms.

484
00:20:43,840 --> 00:20:46,600
Speaker 4: I'm the only sister who graduated from college, is no

485
00:20:46,680 --> 00:20:49,600
Speaker 4: longer religious, and has career goals. When I told them

486
00:20:49,640 --> 00:20:53,399
Speaker 4: I was pregnant, my parents were devastated. My mom cried,

487
00:20:53,600 --> 00:20:57,040
Speaker 4: called me used goods and asked how I could allow

488
00:20:57,080 --> 00:20:59,080
Speaker 4: this to happen. They said Joey and I needed to

489
00:20:59,080 --> 00:21:01,320
Speaker 4: get married since we were having a child together, and

490
00:21:01,359 --> 00:21:03,199
Speaker 4: I explained that we didn't want to rush into that.

491
00:21:03,280 --> 00:21:05,520
Speaker 4: My mom called me selfish and said neither of us

492
00:21:05,560 --> 00:21:08,280
Speaker 4: were putting our baby first. They didn't speak to me

493
00:21:08,600 --> 00:21:11,800
Speaker 4: until my baby girl was born because they were so

494
00:21:11,960 --> 00:21:14,320
Speaker 4: upset that I got pregnant out of wedlock and then

495
00:21:14,400 --> 00:21:17,520
Speaker 4: didn't marry Joey before the baby arrived. I see them

496
00:21:17,600 --> 00:21:20,200
Speaker 4: a few times a year, and they certainly love my daughter,

497
00:21:20,359 --> 00:21:23,439
Speaker 4: but I'm definitely a huge disappointment to them. Your family

498
00:21:23,480 --> 00:21:26,040
Speaker 4: freaking sucks. I'm sorry. My future in laws, on the

499
00:21:26,080 --> 00:21:29,040
Speaker 4: other hand, were extremely kind and helpful during the pregnancy.

500
00:21:29,160 --> 00:21:31,520
Speaker 4: They helped cover my medical care and even rented an

501
00:21:31,520 --> 00:21:33,720
Speaker 4: apartment for me and Joey to live in after the

502
00:21:33,720 --> 00:21:36,280
Speaker 4: baby was born. Since we didn't start working for a

503
00:21:36,320 --> 00:21:37,119
Speaker 4: few months.

504
00:21:36,880 --> 00:21:37,879
Speaker 5: After we graduated.

505
00:21:38,000 --> 00:21:40,360
Speaker 4: While I was studying for the bar exam, Joey's mom

506
00:21:40,400 --> 00:21:42,960
Speaker 4: did a ton of babysitting and was always there to

507
00:21:43,000 --> 00:21:45,480
Speaker 4: help if I needed a few hours to myself. I'm

508
00:21:45,560 --> 00:21:49,120
Speaker 4: so grateful to them, and feel even closer to Joey's

509
00:21:49,119 --> 00:21:51,720
Speaker 4: mom than to my own at this point. When we

510
00:21:51,840 --> 00:21:55,280
Speaker 4: told Joey's parents about the engagement, his mom cried and

511
00:21:55,359 --> 00:21:58,240
Speaker 4: said how happy she was for us and our daughter.

512
00:21:58,400 --> 00:22:00,399
Speaker 4: She also said she was so proud of us because

513
00:22:00,400 --> 00:22:02,720
Speaker 4: we stuck together and made the most of things when

514
00:22:02,760 --> 00:22:05,960
Speaker 4: life didn't go as we planned. She offered to help

515
00:22:06,000 --> 00:22:07,680
Speaker 4: with the wedding, but we said we wanted to pay

516
00:22:07,680 --> 00:22:10,359
Speaker 4: for it ourselves. We want a very small ceremony with

517
00:22:10,400 --> 00:22:13,720
Speaker 4: our immediate families, a few close friends, and our daughter.

518
00:22:13,880 --> 00:22:16,400
Speaker 4: We really wanted to be about celebrating our family and

519
00:22:16,480 --> 00:22:19,000
Speaker 4: our little girl and don't need a huge ceremony. I

520
00:22:19,080 --> 00:22:21,320
Speaker 4: told my parents the news last night since we got

521
00:22:21,359 --> 00:22:24,760
Speaker 4: into town for Thanksgiving and they didn't seem excited. Of

522
00:22:24,800 --> 00:22:26,960
Speaker 4: course they're not. Of course they won't be. This is

523
00:22:27,000 --> 00:22:27,880
Speaker 4: your parents, they saw.

524
00:22:28,080 --> 00:22:30,320
Speaker 1: Yeah, they're gonna flip flop, flip flop, flip flop.

525
00:22:30,520 --> 00:22:33,320
Speaker 4: Yeah, which is crazy because that's the whole like, that's

526
00:22:33,359 --> 00:22:36,120
Speaker 4: exactly what they wanted. My mom asked if we were

527
00:22:36,160 --> 00:22:39,800
Speaker 4: having a religious ceremony, and I said no. I explained

528
00:22:39,800 --> 00:22:41,800
Speaker 4: that we want a small, low key wedding and now

529
00:22:41,840 --> 00:22:44,360
Speaker 4: we're just getting eager to get married and make it official.

530
00:22:44,480 --> 00:22:46,760
Speaker 4: My mom then turned to my fiance and said he

531
00:22:46,880 --> 00:22:49,359
Speaker 4: clearly wasn't too eager since he got me pregnant and

532
00:22:49,440 --> 00:22:51,679
Speaker 4: lived with me for four years before asking me to

533
00:22:51,720 --> 00:22:54,359
Speaker 4: marry him. Joey explained that he's known he wanted to

534
00:22:54,400 --> 00:22:57,080
Speaker 4: marry me for years, but we were focused on our daughter,

535
00:22:57,240 --> 00:23:00,159
Speaker 4: our careers and getting out loans paid off, and have

536
00:23:00,240 --> 00:23:02,880
Speaker 4: been treading waters since we graduated from school. They didn't

537
00:23:02,920 --> 00:23:03,879
Speaker 4: have to to get married.

538
00:23:04,000 --> 00:23:06,440
Speaker 1: Yeah, they were so freaking busy that they were getting

539
00:23:06,480 --> 00:23:08,000
Speaker 1: that sauce in the education.

540
00:23:08,280 --> 00:23:11,199
Speaker 4: My mom then told him that she's ruined her dreams

541
00:23:11,200 --> 00:23:13,680
Speaker 4: of her daughter getting married since the event has been

542
00:23:13,760 --> 00:23:16,320
Speaker 4: spoiled now that we've been living together and already have

543
00:23:16,359 --> 00:23:16,760
Speaker 4: a child.

544
00:23:16,800 --> 00:23:17,480
Speaker 3: Dou dang bad.

545
00:23:17,600 --> 00:23:19,120
Speaker 1: There are your dreams in the first place.

546
00:23:19,200 --> 00:23:20,840
Speaker 5: Dude're literally not your dreams.

547
00:23:20,880 --> 00:23:23,240
Speaker 4: You have other kids who are fulfilling your dreams.

548
00:23:23,359 --> 00:23:25,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, done twice.

549
00:23:25,400 --> 00:23:29,639
Speaker 4: Yeah. She told me I can't in conscious wear white

550
00:23:29,800 --> 00:23:32,080
Speaker 4: to my wedding since I'm not a virgin and have

551
00:23:32,240 --> 00:23:34,440
Speaker 4: continued to sacrifice my purity.

552
00:23:34,800 --> 00:23:38,199
Speaker 1: No, guess what, you were not invited to the wedding.

553
00:23:38,320 --> 00:23:40,480
Speaker 4: You don't have to wear anything to our wedding because

554
00:23:40,480 --> 00:23:41,440
Speaker 4: you're not gonna be there.

555
00:23:41,600 --> 00:23:42,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly.

556
00:23:42,920 --> 00:23:44,000
Speaker 4: Yeah, don't invite these people.

557
00:23:44,640 --> 00:23:46,639
Speaker 1: Yeah, especially in law. I think the dad's just in

558
00:23:46,680 --> 00:23:48,600
Speaker 1: the corner, like in his rocking chair, like mm.

559
00:23:49,080 --> 00:23:50,560
Speaker 4: The mom is like, don't you agree?

560
00:23:50,600 --> 00:23:50,840
Speaker 5: How to you?

561
00:23:50,920 --> 00:23:52,880
Speaker 4: And he's like yep, And she's like, and you shouldn't

562
00:23:52,880 --> 00:23:54,520
Speaker 4: wear white to the wedding, don't you agree? And he's

563
00:23:54,560 --> 00:23:57,240
Speaker 4: like muh. Typically I laugh off my mom's comments, but

564
00:23:57,320 --> 00:23:59,600
Speaker 4: I started crying. I told my mom that I've tried

565
00:23:59,640 --> 00:24:02,840
Speaker 4: my best in life and don't need her constant judgments.

566
00:24:02,920 --> 00:24:05,359
Speaker 4: My mom said, I'm clearly ashamed of my life choices,

567
00:24:05,400 --> 00:24:08,080
Speaker 4: and that's why I'm crying. Oh boy, maybe she's crying

568
00:24:08,119 --> 00:24:10,200
Speaker 4: because they were freaking telling her that she's not pure

569
00:24:10,280 --> 00:24:12,160
Speaker 4: enough to wear white to her wedding. I asked how

570
00:24:12,200 --> 00:24:14,480
Speaker 4: anyone could be ashamed of my life choices when I

571
00:24:14,520 --> 00:24:16,600
Speaker 4: have such a beautiful little girl. My mom said that

572
00:24:16,600 --> 00:24:18,840
Speaker 4: we should have gotten married years ago for our child,

573
00:24:19,000 --> 00:24:21,400
Speaker 4: and that we're clearly not committed to her or each other.

574
00:24:21,480 --> 00:24:23,239
Speaker 4: I told my mom that I no longer want her

575
00:24:23,280 --> 00:24:25,600
Speaker 4: at my wedding because she's been nothing but cruel since

576
00:24:25,640 --> 00:24:28,040
Speaker 4: I got pregnant, and I only want people who love

577
00:24:28,160 --> 00:24:30,600
Speaker 4: and support us at the celebration. My dad said he

578
00:24:30,680 --> 00:24:33,000
Speaker 4: wasn't going if my mom wasn't included, and I said

579
00:24:33,040 --> 00:24:35,280
Speaker 4: that's fine with me. I cried myself to sleep, and

580
00:24:35,359 --> 00:24:38,920
Speaker 4: Joey was furious that my mother was treating me so terribly.

581
00:24:39,040 --> 00:24:40,840
Speaker 4: He also told me that he called and asked my

582
00:24:40,920 --> 00:24:43,879
Speaker 4: dad's permission before he proposed, and my dad was rude.

583
00:24:44,040 --> 00:24:46,040
Speaker 4: He said that he say no if it weren't for

584
00:24:46,080 --> 00:24:47,880
Speaker 4: the fact that we have a child together. He also

585
00:24:47,960 --> 00:24:50,840
Speaker 4: accused Joey of using me for spicy sleep and not

586
00:24:51,040 --> 00:24:54,040
Speaker 4: stepping up for our daughter and marrying me sooner. Joey

587
00:24:54,040 --> 00:24:55,760
Speaker 4: didn't want to upset me, but he thought it was

588
00:24:55,800 --> 00:24:58,040
Speaker 4: relevant in light of the fact that my parents clearly

589
00:24:58,080 --> 00:25:00,920
Speaker 4: aren't warming up to the situation. Needless to say, he

590
00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:03,240
Speaker 4: doesn't blame me for not wanting them at the wedding,

591
00:25:03,400 --> 00:25:06,440
Speaker 4: and he feels uncomfortable having them there too after all

592
00:25:06,480 --> 00:25:09,080
Speaker 4: the comments they've made. Oh my gosh, Yeah, I mean

593
00:25:09,400 --> 00:25:12,119
Speaker 4: this is they're also casting a judgment on him as

594
00:25:12,200 --> 00:25:12,720
Speaker 4: much as they.

595
00:25:12,600 --> 00:25:15,840
Speaker 1: Are not being man enough for not being a good person, a.

596
00:25:15,880 --> 00:25:19,040
Speaker 4: Good parent, a good partner. I wouldn't want them there either,

597
00:25:19,119 --> 00:25:20,960
Speaker 4: But I do want you guys to join us live

598
00:25:21,040 --> 00:25:24,240
Speaker 4: every weekday at three pmpst on YouTube, Facebook, and TikTok.

599
00:25:24,520 --> 00:25:26,159
Speaker 4: Just top our profile. But there is a little bit

600
00:25:26,200 --> 00:25:28,080
Speaker 4: left to the story. But do you have any final thoughts?

601
00:25:28,280 --> 00:25:32,320
Speaker 1: Coming from a conservative Christian family household, this is not

602
00:25:32,520 --> 00:25:35,040
Speaker 1: how to handle the situation. No, even if you don't

603
00:25:35,040 --> 00:25:37,959
Speaker 1: agree with someone's morals and like the choices you make,

604
00:25:38,000 --> 00:25:38,840
Speaker 1: you still gotta love them.

605
00:25:38,960 --> 00:25:41,920
Speaker 4: Especially Yeah, it's like, this is your child who has

606
00:25:42,040 --> 00:25:44,760
Speaker 4: their own child, and you're gonna keep paid this.

607
00:25:44,720 --> 00:25:47,800
Speaker 1: And also op is doing the best they can in life.

608
00:25:47,800 --> 00:25:50,280
Speaker 1: It's not like they got pregnant and then gave up. No,

609
00:25:50,480 --> 00:25:53,560
Speaker 1: they are working hard. They are being consistent and like

610
00:25:53,640 --> 00:25:55,200
Speaker 1: trying to provide for, trying to be a good parent,

611
00:25:55,280 --> 00:25:58,040
Speaker 1: trying to be a good parent, going to law school. Like,

612
00:25:58,119 --> 00:26:00,240
Speaker 1: come on, that's not easy, oh.

613
00:26:00,320 --> 00:26:03,080
Speaker 4: Especially with a child. This morning, I got a call

614
00:26:03,119 --> 00:26:05,200
Speaker 4: from one of my older sisters. She told me I

615
00:26:05,280 --> 00:26:06,800
Speaker 4: broke our mother's heart again.

616
00:26:07,080 --> 00:26:08,200
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh.

617
00:26:08,400 --> 00:26:10,840
Speaker 4: Now the sisters are like, you wrote mama's heart and

618
00:26:10,880 --> 00:26:12,800
Speaker 4: I'd be cruel not to include her in the wedding.

619
00:26:12,880 --> 00:26:14,959
Speaker 4: She also said Mom has loved and supported me and

620
00:26:15,000 --> 00:26:18,320
Speaker 4: my daughter, even though she strongly disagrees with my life choices.

621
00:26:18,440 --> 00:26:20,719
Speaker 4: My sister says, I've made my own choices and I

622
00:26:20,720 --> 00:26:23,080
Speaker 4: can't expect everyone to like and agree with them. But

623
00:26:23,119 --> 00:26:25,439
Speaker 4: family is family, and I should include my mother. She

624
00:26:25,480 --> 00:26:27,800
Speaker 4: also said that if my parents are included, she won't

625
00:26:27,800 --> 00:26:29,640
Speaker 4: be there either. Am I the able boy?

626
00:26:29,640 --> 00:26:31,359
Speaker 1: You might as well call the other sister and say, hey,

627
00:26:31,359 --> 00:26:31,960
Speaker 1: you're non invited.

628
00:26:32,119 --> 00:26:34,160
Speaker 4: Yeah, think to say, okay, don't come. I don't want

629
00:26:34,200 --> 00:26:36,920
Speaker 4: you there. Yeah, this is ridiculous. You literally haven't done

630
00:26:36,960 --> 00:26:39,879
Speaker 4: anything wrong. You are just living life. Life doesn't always

631
00:26:39,960 --> 00:26:43,480
Speaker 4: turn out the way that you know other people want

632
00:26:43,520 --> 00:26:45,679
Speaker 4: you to do it exactly. But that is the end

633
00:26:45,760 --> 00:26:46,480
Speaker 4: of that story.

634
00:26:47,680 --> 00:26:48,400
Speaker 3: Hey, it's John here.

635
00:26:48,400 --> 00:26:50,120
Speaker 2: We're gonna get back to this episode, but a quick

636
00:26:50,160 --> 00:26:52,160
Speaker 2: three minute break with Aswermar sponsors.

637
00:26:52,560 --> 00:26:56,159
Speaker 6: My boyfriend hates my dog. He told me to get

638
00:26:56,240 --> 00:26:56,800
Speaker 6: rid of him.

639
00:26:56,920 --> 00:26:57,879
Speaker 1: Sounds like someone I know.

640
00:26:58,119 --> 00:26:59,879
Speaker 6: I'll try to keep this short, but I think it

641
00:27:00,040 --> 00:27:02,240
Speaker 6: will end up longer than I expect. I live in

642
00:27:02,280 --> 00:27:04,399
Speaker 6: a house with one roommate, twenty three female who is

643
00:27:04,440 --> 00:27:08,720
Speaker 6: also my best friend. Over the summer, two things happened.

644
00:27:09,000 --> 00:27:12,320
Speaker 6: Oh and by the way, this comes from a user

645
00:27:12,400 --> 00:27:14,240
Speaker 6: a dog Throwaway ninety one and if you want to

646
00:27:14,240 --> 00:27:17,840
Speaker 6: submit your stories, go to the r slash okay storytime subreddit.

647
00:27:18,200 --> 00:27:21,560
Speaker 6: One of my family's two dogs became very ill, and

648
00:27:21,720 --> 00:27:25,560
Speaker 6: my stepfather walked out on our family two days before

649
00:27:25,600 --> 00:27:28,600
Speaker 6: my half brother sixteen male birthday.

650
00:27:28,800 --> 00:27:29,440
Speaker 1: Wow.

651
00:27:29,480 --> 00:27:32,520
Speaker 6: Needless to say, things got hectic, and I moved back

652
00:27:32,520 --> 00:27:34,360
Speaker 6: in with my family for a couple months to help

653
00:27:34,359 --> 00:27:36,840
Speaker 6: take care of the dog and try to provide some

654
00:27:36,920 --> 00:27:38,080
Speaker 6: stability for my brother.

655
00:27:38,680 --> 00:27:40,080
Speaker 5: Sick dog had to be.

656
00:27:40,080 --> 00:27:43,320
Speaker 6: Put to sleep, which was really hard. My mother also

657
00:27:43,400 --> 00:27:45,199
Speaker 6: had to find a new place and she could not

658
00:27:45,240 --> 00:27:48,600
Speaker 6: afford the old house on her salary alone. She finds

659
00:27:48,680 --> 00:27:51,960
Speaker 6: the perfect house, but the landlord did not allow pets.

660
00:27:52,240 --> 00:27:56,280
Speaker 6: My landlord does, however, and after clearing it with my roommate,

661
00:27:56,400 --> 00:28:01,280
Speaker 6: I decided to bring Galahad, seven male, home with me.

662
00:28:02,400 --> 00:28:05,800
Speaker 6: I've always loved Galahad, but since he's quote moved in,

663
00:28:06,040 --> 00:28:09,600
Speaker 6: we're pretty much inseparable. Nothing makes me smile like this,

664
00:28:09,840 --> 00:28:13,480
Speaker 6: You don dog. Roommates adore him and we often joke

665
00:28:13,560 --> 00:28:16,200
Speaker 6: that he is our child. My friends love him too,

666
00:28:16,280 --> 00:28:18,920
Speaker 6: and he is very cute and tends to charm everyone,

667
00:28:19,119 --> 00:28:23,440
Speaker 6: everyone except my boyfriend. It seems boyfriend was never very

668
00:28:23,520 --> 00:28:26,840
Speaker 6: keen on Galahad. I guess cordial is the best word

669
00:28:26,960 --> 00:28:29,480
Speaker 6: for it, if you can apply that to a relationship

670
00:28:29,520 --> 00:28:32,120
Speaker 6: with a dog. I always assumed it was because he's

671
00:28:32,160 --> 00:28:34,560
Speaker 6: a cat person. Two cats at his place. Oh there

672
00:28:34,720 --> 00:28:38,200
Speaker 6: is This never really bothered me until last weekend. I'm

673
00:28:38,200 --> 00:28:41,239
Speaker 6: planning on going to a dog Halloween party hosted by

674
00:28:41,240 --> 00:28:45,080
Speaker 6: the Humane Society. The roommate is going to this party

675
00:28:45,120 --> 00:28:48,200
Speaker 6: as well, and we are dressing up as medieval maidens,

676
00:28:48,200 --> 00:28:50,640
Speaker 6: and Galahad is going to be a night. I was

677
00:28:50,720 --> 00:28:54,120
Speaker 6: excitedly telling my boyfriend about these plans and showing him

678
00:28:54,120 --> 00:28:55,440
Speaker 6: our costumes.

679
00:28:55,120 --> 00:28:56,680
Speaker 5: When he freaks out.

680
00:28:57,040 --> 00:28:59,720
Speaker 6: He said Galahad shouldn't be around other dogs or even

681
00:29:00,040 --> 00:29:04,840
Speaker 6: range humans because of his behavioral problems. I was surprised

682
00:29:05,160 --> 00:29:08,400
Speaker 6: because Galahad gets along great with dogs and people and

683
00:29:08,480 --> 00:29:10,000
Speaker 6: has never shown aggressive behavior.

684
00:29:10,000 --> 00:29:12,920
Speaker 5: Boyfriend ranted for a while, but here's a condensed version.

685
00:29:12,960 --> 00:29:17,400
Speaker 6: When Galahad wants attention, like to be in someone's lap

686
00:29:17,520 --> 00:29:20,920
Speaker 6: or get pets, he'll lick your foot or leg almost always.

687
00:29:21,120 --> 00:29:23,480
Speaker 3: Just once, John, we're gonna get back to the story.

688
00:29:23,560 --> 00:29:26,480
Speaker 3: But uh, you're old. You're as old as me now, Powell.

689
00:29:26,520 --> 00:29:28,000
Speaker 3: It might be as old as you, but I feel

690
00:29:28,040 --> 00:29:30,080
Speaker 3: like you have more wisdom.

691
00:29:30,240 --> 00:29:32,040
Speaker 5: I've got some wisdom in this sult noga, and you've got.

692
00:29:32,000 --> 00:29:33,160
Speaker 3: A piece of wisdom for me right now.

693
00:29:33,240 --> 00:29:37,040
Speaker 8: Always respect, And I think the other piece of wisdom

694
00:29:37,080 --> 00:29:39,520
Speaker 8: that I've learned from John is quite okay.

695
00:29:39,720 --> 00:29:41,840
Speaker 3: Story time member Chips, Yeah.

696
00:29:41,680 --> 00:29:42,400
Speaker 4: That's freaking right.

697
00:29:42,440 --> 00:29:46,280
Speaker 2: We have sixty plus hours of exclusive live streams on Monday,

698
00:29:46,320 --> 00:29:47,440
Speaker 2: Wednesdays and Fridays.

699
00:29:47,480 --> 00:29:49,360
Speaker 8: It's only five bucks a month, so go to the

700
00:29:49,400 --> 00:29:53,760
Speaker 8: link in our description. YouTube dot Com, slash Okop Show, slash.

701
00:29:53,560 --> 00:29:56,640
Speaker 3: Joint, Get it, now while I'm still alive. Now back

702
00:29:56,680 --> 00:29:57,160
Speaker 3: to the story.

703
00:29:57,280 --> 00:29:59,560
Speaker 6: I don't mind this, but I realize not everyone feels

704
00:29:59,600 --> 00:30:02,640
Speaker 6: the same when guests are over. I tried to distract

705
00:30:02,680 --> 00:30:04,680
Speaker 6: and redirect him from this, but I let my guests

706
00:30:04,760 --> 00:30:06,680
Speaker 6: know it's okay to tell him not. When he hears no,

707
00:30:06,880 --> 00:30:09,680
Speaker 6: he will not repeat the behavior. When someone he does

708
00:30:09,760 --> 00:30:12,840
Speaker 6: not know enters the house. Galahad will bark a couple

709
00:30:12,920 --> 00:30:15,160
Speaker 6: of times. This is not an aggressive bark. It's more

710
00:30:15,280 --> 00:30:17,680
Speaker 6: like an attention bark. The only other times that he

711
00:30:17,760 --> 00:30:19,600
Speaker 6: barks is when he needs to go outside or when

712
00:30:19,640 --> 00:30:21,120
Speaker 6: he sees me grab the treat bag.

713
00:30:21,200 --> 00:30:23,200
Speaker 7: So Galahad and Iron like the same person.

714
00:30:23,360 --> 00:30:26,200
Speaker 6: So Galahad sleeps on my bed on a special blanket.

715
00:30:26,480 --> 00:30:28,720
Speaker 6: Boyfriend does not like this, so when he's over for

716
00:30:28,720 --> 00:30:30,760
Speaker 6: the night, I put Galahad in his crate in my room.

717
00:30:30,800 --> 00:30:33,480
Speaker 6: One night, boyfriend insisted that the crate be placed in

718
00:30:33,520 --> 00:30:35,360
Speaker 6: another room. All right, this guy just sucks. Can we

719
00:30:35,440 --> 00:30:38,360
Speaker 6: just be make it clear, dude, boyfriend? Actually this got boyfriend.

720
00:30:38,400 --> 00:30:41,640
Speaker 6: The boyfriend sucks. How can a dude be jealous of

721
00:30:41,680 --> 00:30:45,360
Speaker 6: a dog? I complied, but Galahad hated this and cried

722
00:30:45,400 --> 00:30:47,960
Speaker 6: for about thirty minutes until I brought him back into

723
00:30:48,040 --> 00:30:50,840
Speaker 6: my room. He went to sleep normally then and slept

724
00:30:50,920 --> 00:30:54,120
Speaker 6: quietly the rest of the night. Galahad likes to be

725
00:30:54,240 --> 00:30:57,560
Speaker 6: watched while he eats. This started when the other dog

726
00:30:58,160 --> 00:31:00,640
Speaker 6: was put down and I noticed Galahad lost a lot

727
00:31:00,640 --> 00:31:03,000
Speaker 6: of weight and ate very little. I had to coax

728
00:31:03,000 --> 00:31:05,280
Speaker 6: and encourage him to eat, which eventually turned into me

729
00:31:05,320 --> 00:31:07,200
Speaker 6: sitting at the table next to his bowl with him

730
00:31:07,480 --> 00:31:11,720
Speaker 6: for about fifteen minutes while he eats. Boyfriend lists all

731
00:31:11,760 --> 00:31:15,800
Speaker 6: of these as problems, including that I'm too obsessed with Galahad,

732
00:31:15,840 --> 00:31:18,640
Speaker 6: and ending with he thinks I need to send Galahad

733
00:31:18,680 --> 00:31:21,760
Speaker 6: back to live with my family. I explain to him

734
00:31:21,840 --> 00:31:24,920
Speaker 6: why that is not an option. He said he didn't

735
00:31:24,920 --> 00:31:26,920
Speaker 6: want to come to my house anymore while Galahad is

736
00:31:26,960 --> 00:31:30,040
Speaker 6: still here. I asked him if that was an ultimatum,

737
00:31:30,080 --> 00:31:31,800
Speaker 6: and he told me take it.

738
00:31:31,840 --> 00:31:34,400
Speaker 5: How I wished. This guy sucks.

739
00:31:34,520 --> 00:31:37,760
Speaker 6: This week, our communication has been the bare minimum, and

740
00:31:37,800 --> 00:31:40,920
Speaker 6: boyfriend still seems very upset with me. Roommate is furious

741
00:31:40,960 --> 00:31:43,040
Speaker 6: about it. I just want to smooth things over. Should

742
00:31:43,080 --> 00:31:46,360
Speaker 6: I take Galahad to a dog training class train him

743
00:31:46,400 --> 00:31:46,720
Speaker 6: to do what?

744
00:31:46,960 --> 00:31:47,600
Speaker 5: It'd be a nice.

745
00:31:47,880 --> 00:31:50,320
Speaker 6: I don't have the money for a personal dog trainer,

746
00:31:50,360 --> 00:31:53,520
Speaker 6: and I think Galahad is just being a normal DOCS

747
00:31:53,600 --> 00:31:55,800
Speaker 6: in for the most part, am I in the wrong

748
00:31:55,880 --> 00:31:57,640
Speaker 6: and it's a DOCS and he's hating on the docs

749
00:31:57,720 --> 00:32:01,120
Speaker 6: In update number one, I've been at to update, so

750
00:32:01,240 --> 00:32:04,280
Speaker 6: here it is. I want to thank everyone who took

751
00:32:04,280 --> 00:32:06,720
Speaker 6: the time to respond. I got a couple questions asking

752
00:32:07,080 --> 00:32:10,040
Speaker 6: if I was minimizing Galahad's behavior, and I think I

753
00:32:10,480 --> 00:32:14,360
Speaker 6: was mainly the barking thing. Galahad only barks a couple

754
00:32:14,480 --> 00:32:16,880
Speaker 6: times at people entering the house, but he is loud

755
00:32:17,480 --> 00:32:19,920
Speaker 6: it can be startling to people who aren't familiar with him.

756
00:32:19,960 --> 00:32:22,080
Speaker 5: Also, the wanting to be watched while eating.

757
00:32:22,480 --> 00:32:24,560
Speaker 6: I think I downplayed it because I managed to work

758
00:32:24,600 --> 00:32:26,840
Speaker 6: it into my routine easily, and I have a lot

759
00:32:26,880 --> 00:32:29,520
Speaker 6: of guilt over him dropping so much weight. This isn't

760
00:32:29,560 --> 00:32:32,040
Speaker 6: normal behavior, though, and needs to be corrected. With all

761
00:32:32,080 --> 00:32:34,840
Speaker 6: of this in mind, I decided Galahad should be enrolled

762
00:32:35,200 --> 00:32:38,479
Speaker 6: in a dog training class and hopefully I could address

763
00:32:38,520 --> 00:32:40,760
Speaker 6: his other behaviors with a professional I planned to tell

764
00:32:40,760 --> 00:32:43,000
Speaker 6: this to boyfriend on Halloween and hopefully it would all

765
00:32:43,000 --> 00:32:44,360
Speaker 6: work out well.

766
00:32:44,520 --> 00:32:45,440
Speaker 3: It didn't.

767
00:32:45,640 --> 00:32:48,320
Speaker 6: I texted boyfriend Halloween morning that I wanted to come

768
00:32:48,360 --> 00:32:51,480
Speaker 6: to his place and talk before or after the Humane

769
00:32:51,480 --> 00:32:54,440
Speaker 6: Society Halloween party. He didn't respond, so me, roommate and

770
00:32:54,480 --> 00:32:57,920
Speaker 6: Galahad got costumed up and went to the party. It

771
00:32:58,040 --> 00:33:00,680
Speaker 6: was a blast, and I could tell Galahad I enjoyed

772
00:33:00,840 --> 00:33:03,240
Speaker 6: some canine company. On the way back to the house,

773
00:33:03,360 --> 00:33:05,440
Speaker 6: boyfriend calls me and asks me to come over so

774
00:33:05,480 --> 00:33:07,680
Speaker 6: we can talk. I tell him I have to drop

775
00:33:07,720 --> 00:33:10,240
Speaker 6: off a roommate and Galahad first, then I would be

776
00:33:10,320 --> 00:33:10,760
Speaker 6: right over.

777
00:33:11,200 --> 00:33:12,960
Speaker 5: He just hangs up.

778
00:33:15,720 --> 00:33:18,760
Speaker 6: I get to his apartment and I can tell he's pierced.

779
00:33:19,480 --> 00:33:22,840
Speaker 6: He asks why I haven't gotten rid of Galahad. I

780
00:33:22,880 --> 00:33:25,000
Speaker 6: tell him I'm not getting rid of my dog, and

781
00:33:25,840 --> 00:33:28,680
Speaker 6: I tell him about taking him to classes. Boyfriend says

782
00:33:28,760 --> 00:33:31,800
Speaker 6: that's not good enough. We fight for a while, neither

783
00:33:31,840 --> 00:33:34,800
Speaker 6: of us would bend. We ended up breaking up. I

784
00:33:34,840 --> 00:33:36,880
Speaker 6: get back home and roommate until I've been crying, so

785
00:33:36,920 --> 00:33:39,840
Speaker 6: we spend the night watching Bill and Ted, drinking wine

786
00:33:39,880 --> 00:33:42,480
Speaker 6: and calling ex boyfriend a medieval weiener head.

787
00:33:43,040 --> 00:33:47,040
Speaker 5: I'm lucky to have such a great friend. So we've

788
00:33:47,040 --> 00:33:47,320
Speaker 5: done it.

789
00:33:47,360 --> 00:33:50,920
Speaker 6: We're atys at the finish line, this is good.

790
00:33:51,160 --> 00:33:57,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's this is weird. I feel if this would continue,

791
00:33:57,680 --> 00:34:00,680
Speaker 1: he would want to control other things rather than the

792
00:34:00,680 --> 00:34:03,640
Speaker 1: presence of your dog in your life. Update number two.

793
00:34:03,720 --> 00:34:05,880
Speaker 6: I'm pretty sure this is gonna be my last update

794
00:34:05,920 --> 00:34:08,640
Speaker 6: on this subject unless something crazy happens. Thanks for all

795
00:34:08,680 --> 00:34:11,880
Speaker 6: the support in my previous posts. So last Saturday, I

796
00:34:11,920 --> 00:34:15,440
Speaker 6: got a surprise visit from X. I asked roommate to

797
00:34:15,440 --> 00:34:18,400
Speaker 6: watch Galahad in another room while I talked to X.

798
00:34:18,719 --> 00:34:21,840
Speaker 6: He actually showed up with a box of dog treats.

799
00:34:22,000 --> 00:34:24,520
Speaker 6: They were for large dogs, so they were way too

800
00:34:24,600 --> 00:34:27,680
Speaker 6: big for Galahad, but it was a really sweet gesture.

801
00:34:27,440 --> 00:34:31,400
Speaker 1: Do not feed those dog treats to the dog.

802
00:34:31,600 --> 00:34:34,959
Speaker 6: We chitchat about various things for a couple minutes. Then

803
00:34:35,200 --> 00:34:38,000
Speaker 6: X apologizes, says he misses me and that he wants

804
00:34:38,080 --> 00:34:41,520
Speaker 6: me back. As much as I've played tough in my posts,

805
00:34:41,560 --> 00:34:44,160
Speaker 6: I really love this guy and breaking up has been hard.

806
00:34:44,640 --> 00:34:47,080
Speaker 6: We started to talk about how we could make it work.

807
00:34:47,400 --> 00:34:49,960
Speaker 6: He proposed that we could hang out at his apartment

808
00:34:50,360 --> 00:34:52,319
Speaker 6: and if he came over to my house, Galahad would

809
00:34:52,320 --> 00:34:55,360
Speaker 6: be put in a different room than us.

810
00:34:55,640 --> 00:34:58,480
Speaker 1: No, we still shoe is still about goal ahead, what

811
00:34:58,760 --> 00:34:59,920
Speaker 1: like this is I need.

812
00:35:00,200 --> 00:35:03,360
Speaker 6: I need a clear cut reason why you literally cannot

813
00:35:03,440 --> 00:35:04,360
Speaker 6: stand my dog?

814
00:35:04,520 --> 00:35:06,319
Speaker 1: Yeah, like, what's going on?

815
00:35:06,520 --> 00:35:08,600
Speaker 7: The only thing I could be, like, I'll give him

816
00:35:08,600 --> 00:35:10,640
Speaker 7: it is if he's allergic, that's it.

817
00:35:10,760 --> 00:35:13,000
Speaker 5: You're right, but no an indication of that.

818
00:35:13,400 --> 00:35:13,799
Speaker 3: But he's not.

819
00:35:13,920 --> 00:35:15,960
Speaker 6: I told him I needed time to think and that

820
00:35:16,080 --> 00:35:19,080
Speaker 6: I wasn't ready to jump back into official status yet,

821
00:35:19,560 --> 00:35:23,759
Speaker 6: and his demeanor completely changed. He got quiet for a

822
00:35:23,800 --> 00:35:27,920
Speaker 6: second and then said, what the earth His voice got angry,

823
00:35:28,200 --> 00:35:30,239
Speaker 6: not sure if I would say raised, and then he

824
00:35:30,280 --> 00:35:32,480
Speaker 6: went on about how I should just accept his apology,

825
00:35:32,719 --> 00:35:35,319
Speaker 6: that he was doing everything to make this relationship work

826
00:35:35,560 --> 00:35:39,040
Speaker 6: and I was purposefully sabotaging it. I could feel tears

827
00:35:39,040 --> 00:35:42,640
Speaker 6: welling up, and he said, and now you're gonna effing cry. Hey,

828
00:35:42,680 --> 00:35:45,560
Speaker 6: what a great what a bunch of great evidence right

829
00:35:45,600 --> 00:35:47,600
Speaker 6: there as to why you shouldn't be dating this guy.

830
00:35:48,239 --> 00:35:50,600
Speaker 1: So you have a first fight. This is how he

831
00:35:50,640 --> 00:35:51,080
Speaker 1: fights you.

832
00:35:52,480 --> 00:35:54,719
Speaker 6: The roommate walked into the room from the living room

833
00:35:54,760 --> 00:35:57,440
Speaker 6: to the kitchen and went to get something from the fridge.

834
00:35:58,200 --> 00:36:01,040
Speaker 6: X then took this as his cue and got up

835
00:36:01,080 --> 00:36:03,399
Speaker 6: and left without saying anything else to me. By the way,

836
00:36:03,480 --> 00:36:05,759
Speaker 6: We're gonna say a whole bunch of more stuff to you.

837
00:36:06,120 --> 00:36:08,759
Speaker 6: When you listen to full episodes with stories like this,

838
00:36:10,000 --> 00:36:11,560
Speaker 6: all you have to do is go to Spotify or

839
00:36:11,560 --> 00:36:15,040
Speaker 6: Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to your podcasts right

840
00:36:15,800 --> 00:36:16,920
Speaker 6: and search.

841
00:36:16,920 --> 00:36:17,640
Speaker 5: Okay, story time.

842
00:36:17,719 --> 00:36:20,439
Speaker 6: So to pull a Taylor Swift, we are never ever

843
00:36:20,520 --> 00:36:21,840
Speaker 6: ever getting back together.

844
00:36:23,280 --> 00:36:24,239
Speaker 5: I don't like op now.

845
00:36:28,520 --> 00:36:29,480
Speaker 1: Him chat Pye.

846
00:36:31,400 --> 00:36:34,680
Speaker 6: Since then, I've blocked him on social media except Instagram,

847
00:36:34,719 --> 00:36:38,040
Speaker 6: where I've been posting pictures of Galahad. It's petty, but

848
00:36:38,120 --> 00:36:39,839
Speaker 6: it makes me feel better. In other news, I've been

849
00:36:39,840 --> 00:36:41,400
Speaker 6: training Galahad to eat by himself.

850
00:36:41,680 --> 00:36:43,520
Speaker 1: Sorry, one second, can you see if you can find

851
00:36:43,560 --> 00:36:44,759
Speaker 1: pictures of Galahad? Thank you?

852
00:36:44,920 --> 00:36:48,759
Speaker 6: Okay, mixed success so far, but slow and stead he

853
00:36:48,800 --> 00:36:49,439
Speaker 6: wins the race.

854
00:36:50,000 --> 00:36:52,640
Speaker 5: And that is the end of that story.

855
00:36:54,360 --> 00:36:56,680
Speaker 1: My boyfriend revealed that he doesn't want to marry me

856
00:36:57,080 --> 00:37:00,000
Speaker 1: after stringing me along for five years?

857
00:37:00,360 --> 00:37:00,960
Speaker 3: What do you want?

858
00:37:01,040 --> 00:37:04,360
Speaker 1: My partner? Twenty five mel is my twenty six female

859
00:37:04,640 --> 00:37:08,399
Speaker 1: rock and I'm miss literally. He tells me that all

860
00:37:08,440 --> 00:37:11,600
Speaker 1: the time, including yesterday. We've been together for five years

861
00:37:11,640 --> 00:37:16,920
Speaker 1: and have truly a wonderful relationship, always talking, laughing, comfortable

862
00:37:16,960 --> 00:37:21,279
Speaker 1: with one another, able to communicate healthily even when we disagree.

863
00:37:21,680 --> 00:37:25,719
Speaker 1: After surviving abuse as a child and surviving and struggling

864
00:37:26,120 --> 00:37:29,239
Speaker 1: with unhealthy romantic relationships in the past, the fact is

865
00:37:29,280 --> 00:37:32,160
Speaker 1: that we love each other in a respectful way, secure

866
00:37:32,320 --> 00:37:35,960
Speaker 1: and profoundly healthy way is truly my biggest blessing, and

867
00:37:36,000 --> 00:37:38,640
Speaker 1: I wake up every day so happy and grateful for him.

868
00:37:38,960 --> 00:37:43,600
Speaker 1: He's an incredible man with so much drive, intelligence, kindness

869
00:37:43,640 --> 00:37:45,439
Speaker 1: and gifts to give to the world. By the way,

870
00:37:45,520 --> 00:37:48,239
Speaker 1: this comes from Bath Mermaid on the r slideh Owkay story.

871
00:37:48,239 --> 00:37:49,759
Speaker 1: TOMPs up about it. Abut a year and a half ago.

872
00:37:50,480 --> 00:37:53,480
Speaker 1: It came up for the first time that we saw

873
00:37:53,520 --> 00:37:56,360
Speaker 1: ourselves getting married one day. It was such a beautiful

874
00:37:56,360 --> 00:38:00,200
Speaker 1: moment and rocked my world to have been vulnerable those

875
00:38:00,280 --> 00:38:04,600
Speaker 1: words and have him say them too. Since it's only

876
00:38:04,640 --> 00:38:07,600
Speaker 1: been something incredibly happy that I get to hold in

877
00:38:07,640 --> 00:38:10,839
Speaker 1: my heart and look forward to. The subject has come

878
00:38:10,920 --> 00:38:14,520
Speaker 1: up sporadically since then, but I haven't wanted to push

879
00:38:14,560 --> 00:38:17,239
Speaker 1: it too far since we are young and it is

880
00:38:17,400 --> 00:38:20,800
Speaker 1: very much and eventually think both of our parents are divorced,

881
00:38:21,000 --> 00:38:22,839
Speaker 1: and this has come from money. He got a lot

882
00:38:22,840 --> 00:38:26,040
Speaker 1: of strong advice growing up to not marry young and

883
00:38:26,120 --> 00:38:29,640
Speaker 1: protect his assets, to see it from a more financial

884
00:38:29,760 --> 00:38:33,640
Speaker 1: view than I ever have thought of. Nevertheless, the thought

885
00:38:33,800 --> 00:38:37,120
Speaker 1: makes me happy, and we often daydream about the future

886
00:38:37,160 --> 00:38:40,279
Speaker 1: we'll build together, the little house in New Hampshire will

887
00:38:40,320 --> 00:38:42,919
Speaker 1: hope to buy, and the dogs the chickens will have.

888
00:38:43,520 --> 00:38:48,000
Speaker 1: These are conversations he participates in and brings up on

889
00:38:48,040 --> 00:38:49,719
Speaker 1: his own all the time. I want to be able

890
00:38:49,760 --> 00:38:53,360
Speaker 1: to talk casually about the marriage aspect too, go to

891
00:38:53,400 --> 00:38:56,120
Speaker 1: bed with the sleepy can't wait to marry you, or

892
00:38:56,440 --> 00:39:00,560
Speaker 1: love out my life. But for some reason, recently, whenever

893
00:39:00,600 --> 00:39:04,480
Speaker 1: the subject has come up, he's clammed up and made

894
00:39:04,520 --> 00:39:09,919
Speaker 1: it feel really serious. This accumulated maybe two months ago

895
00:39:10,040 --> 00:39:13,680
Speaker 1: with a really weird conversation in which I since he

896
00:39:13,800 --> 00:39:18,239
Speaker 1: might not have processed what marriage really means in the

897
00:39:18,280 --> 00:39:21,279
Speaker 1: way that I had, and that he wasn't ready to

898
00:39:21,360 --> 00:39:24,120
Speaker 1: be talking about this in the way that I was,

899
00:39:24,640 --> 00:39:27,600
Speaker 1: or as much as he has led on. I told

900
00:39:27,640 --> 00:39:30,960
Speaker 1: him I don't want to put a pupew to his head.

901
00:39:31,880 --> 00:39:34,560
Speaker 1: This is something that makes me happy to think about

902
00:39:34,600 --> 00:39:37,640
Speaker 1: and talk about. And I tell him everything I say.

903
00:39:37,719 --> 00:39:40,279
Speaker 1: I love him for him, and I'd wait as long

904
00:39:40,320 --> 00:39:43,160
Speaker 1: as he needed, but that I firmly didn't want to

905
00:39:43,200 --> 00:39:46,600
Speaker 1: bring up the subject again until he was comfortable discussing it.

906
00:39:46,680 --> 00:39:49,359
Speaker 1: I wanted to relieve the pressure on him, and I

907
00:39:49,400 --> 00:39:53,000
Speaker 1: haven't mentioned it since. Well. Yesterday we spent a really

908
00:39:53,080 --> 00:39:56,279
Speaker 1: lovely day getting lunch and hiking with my family. They

909
00:39:56,360 --> 00:39:57,920
Speaker 1: live far away, so we don't get to see them

910
00:39:58,000 --> 00:40:01,680
Speaker 1: very often. My stepsister and and fiance were there as well,

911
00:40:02,080 --> 00:40:04,360
Speaker 1: and of course there was a little bit of a

912
00:40:04,800 --> 00:40:09,920
Speaker 1: conversation about their upcoming wedding. My boyfriend was his usual friendly,

913
00:40:10,120 --> 00:40:14,040
Speaker 1: easy going self. I noticed he seemed quiet on the

914
00:40:14,080 --> 00:40:17,160
Speaker 1: way home and later that evening, so I asked if

915
00:40:17,200 --> 00:40:19,799
Speaker 1: he was worried about work, but he just said that

916
00:40:19,840 --> 00:40:22,480
Speaker 1: he was tired from a long day of traveling. I

917
00:40:23,000 --> 00:40:25,520
Speaker 1: made him a drink, kissed him on the forehead like

918
00:40:25,600 --> 00:40:27,960
Speaker 1: I always do, and promised we could do whatever he

919
00:40:28,040 --> 00:40:31,560
Speaker 1: wanted to relax. That night, just did what I normally

920
00:40:31,640 --> 00:40:35,040
Speaker 1: do when I see that he's stressed, try to show empathy,

921
00:40:35,239 --> 00:40:38,360
Speaker 1: take care of him. But then as I'm making dinner,

922
00:40:38,719 --> 00:40:42,920
Speaker 1: he comes over to me and drops this bomb.

923
00:40:43,239 --> 00:40:43,800
Speaker 5: Oh god.

924
00:40:44,280 --> 00:40:47,680
Speaker 1: He came over crying and said spending time with an

925
00:40:47,680 --> 00:40:51,680
Speaker 1: engaged couple, and even barely talking about their wedding had

926
00:40:51,680 --> 00:40:54,920
Speaker 1: sent him into a panic, and he didn't know if

927
00:40:54,960 --> 00:40:58,160
Speaker 1: he could ever see himself getting married. I try to

928
00:40:58,160 --> 00:41:00,680
Speaker 1: parse what he was saying, but it was like my

929
00:41:00,760 --> 00:41:05,239
Speaker 1: brain was stuck. Evidently, he had been locking himself in

930
00:41:05,239 --> 00:41:08,600
Speaker 1: his office at work all week and crying about this.

931
00:41:08,719 --> 00:41:08,879
Speaker 6: Ah.

932
00:41:08,960 --> 00:41:11,440
Speaker 5: See, so this is a great example of bad communication.

933
00:41:12,200 --> 00:41:15,400
Speaker 1: I kept asking him why he would say he wanted

934
00:41:15,400 --> 00:41:18,400
Speaker 1: to marry me if he didn't. He said he was lying,

935
00:41:18,440 --> 00:41:22,480
Speaker 1: basically that he wanted to give me what he knew.

936
00:41:22,560 --> 00:41:25,920
Speaker 1: I wanted to make me happy. I could only just

937
00:41:26,000 --> 00:41:29,839
Speaker 1: stare at him, open mouthed. I kept trying to pinpoint

938
00:41:29,880 --> 00:41:32,439
Speaker 1: if he was saying to me, I don't think I'll

939
00:41:32,480 --> 00:41:34,719
Speaker 1: be ready to get married for a long time, or

940
00:41:35,160 --> 00:41:37,200
Speaker 1: I don't think I'll ever be ready to get married.

941
00:41:37,239 --> 00:41:40,239
Speaker 1: And I really don't think he knows himself. I don't

942
00:41:40,280 --> 00:41:43,839
Speaker 1: think he has put any kind of mature thought into

943
00:41:43,840 --> 00:41:44,440
Speaker 1: marriage at all.

944
00:41:44,760 --> 00:41:46,640
Speaker 3: John, you've been dancing a lot.

945
00:41:46,680 --> 00:41:48,759
Speaker 2: I'm gonna give you a live demonstration and you're gonna

946
00:41:48,760 --> 00:41:49,160
Speaker 2: see it too.

947
00:41:49,160 --> 00:41:53,320
Speaker 3: Show me those hips. Oh no, that is a good move.

948
00:41:53,560 --> 00:41:56,400
Speaker 3: But you know what is also an amazing move what

949
00:41:56,480 --> 00:41:59,440
Speaker 3: does that say becoming an Okay story dive member. Yeah,

950
00:41:59,520 --> 00:42:00,239
Speaker 3: that's freaking right.

951
00:42:00,320 --> 00:42:04,160
Speaker 2: We have sixty plus hours of exclusive live streams on Monday,

952
00:42:04,200 --> 00:42:05,280
Speaker 2: Wedndays and Fridays.

953
00:42:05,360 --> 00:42:07,239
Speaker 8: It's only five bucks a month, so go to the

954
00:42:07,280 --> 00:42:10,919
Speaker 8: link in our description. YouTube dot com slash Okop Show

955
00:42:11,000 --> 00:42:11,680
Speaker 8: slash Joint.

956
00:42:11,719 --> 00:42:12,920
Speaker 3: Well, let's get back to the story.

957
00:42:13,239 --> 00:42:16,959
Speaker 1: It was like talking to a scared child. He kept

958
00:42:17,040 --> 00:42:20,879
Speaker 1: saying stuff about not knowing where his career will need

959
00:42:21,360 --> 00:42:23,400
Speaker 1: or if we'll have money. He has a great job

960
00:42:23,760 --> 00:42:27,879
Speaker 1: extending network and he's definitely not poor. Neither of us are.

961
00:42:28,280 --> 00:42:32,920
Speaker 1: And I was just like, we're a partnership. You wanted

962
00:42:32,960 --> 00:42:35,279
Speaker 1: to be with me yesterday, you wanted to be with

963
00:42:35,320 --> 00:42:37,640
Speaker 1: me today. Do you want to be with me tomorrow?

964
00:42:38,160 --> 00:42:38,879
Speaker 3: Yes? He said.

965
00:42:38,960 --> 00:42:41,680
Speaker 1: I said, well that's all that matters. We have a

966
00:42:41,719 --> 00:42:45,160
Speaker 1: life we love and we'll take on the future together

967
00:42:45,239 --> 00:42:48,760
Speaker 1: when it comes. I'm devastated. He left for his mother's

968
00:42:48,760 --> 00:42:51,520
Speaker 1: house and I don't know when he'll be home. I

969
00:42:51,560 --> 00:42:54,960
Speaker 1: cannot take another sleeping pill or my heart will stop.

970
00:42:55,320 --> 00:42:58,160
Speaker 1: But I can't sleep a wink. I literally spiked a

971
00:42:58,200 --> 00:43:01,880
Speaker 1: one hundred degree fever and spent all night sweating and freezing.

972
00:43:02,239 --> 00:43:04,319
Speaker 1: I had no idea it was possible to be in

973
00:43:04,360 --> 00:43:08,320
Speaker 1: so much pain. It makes you physically sick. This person

974
00:43:08,640 --> 00:43:12,440
Speaker 1: is the bedrock of my life. We have always had

975
00:43:12,600 --> 00:43:16,080
Speaker 1: rock solid confidence that we can trust each other, be

976
00:43:16,200 --> 00:43:19,960
Speaker 1: vulnerable around each other, and be our full, authentic selves

977
00:43:20,320 --> 00:43:25,200
Speaker 1: without inhibition or fear of judgment. We share everything together

978
00:43:25,600 --> 00:43:28,680
Speaker 1: and we are best friends. He even said that over

979
00:43:28,760 --> 00:43:31,440
Speaker 1: and over as he saw that. He told me he

980
00:43:31,480 --> 00:43:35,080
Speaker 1: loved me and he didn't want to get married. Hours ago,

981
00:43:35,520 --> 00:43:38,760
Speaker 1: I had the most beautiful and solid relationship in the world.

982
00:43:39,120 --> 00:43:41,120
Speaker 1: Now I don't know if we're going to break up.

983
00:43:41,480 --> 00:43:42,120
Speaker 1: I'm reeling.

984
00:43:43,480 --> 00:43:44,800
Speaker 5: Wait what we're talking about.

985
00:43:44,960 --> 00:43:49,440
Speaker 6: He just said I'm through sobbing tears, that he loves

986
00:43:49,480 --> 00:43:53,640
Speaker 6: you but he can't get married. Yeah, so there's something there,

987
00:43:54,880 --> 00:43:57,640
Speaker 6: but like it's just it just seems to.

988
00:43:57,560 --> 00:44:00,160
Speaker 5: Be talked out. I don't know, it's weird. This is weird.

989
00:44:00,239 --> 00:44:03,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm reelling. I feel like I've been stabbed in

990
00:44:03,200 --> 00:44:06,600
Speaker 1: the back by my safe space. The earth fell out

991
00:44:06,640 --> 00:44:08,960
Speaker 1: from under me, and I don't even know what to

992
00:44:09,000 --> 00:44:12,520
Speaker 1: think anymore. Well, got an update, dude. I mean, I

993
00:44:12,560 --> 00:44:16,160
Speaker 1: think a nice little couple's therapy session you those would

994
00:44:16,239 --> 00:44:18,800
Speaker 1: go a long ways here, I believe.

995
00:44:19,520 --> 00:44:21,319
Speaker 7: Yeah, I feel like this guy has like is in

996
00:44:21,360 --> 00:44:23,879
Speaker 7: his head. It's just I got two decisions here. Yeah,

997
00:44:23,960 --> 00:44:27,080
Speaker 7: Either keep going and just like be scared, or just

998
00:44:27,120 --> 00:44:28,240
Speaker 7: break it off and I'll be okay.

999
00:44:28,480 --> 00:44:30,959
Speaker 1: The longest short of it, he left me. I called

1000
00:44:31,040 --> 00:44:33,239
Speaker 1: him the next day asking when he would come home.

1001
00:44:33,600 --> 00:44:35,719
Speaker 1: He told me he needed a day to think, but

1002
00:44:36,480 --> 00:44:39,480
Speaker 1: he was talking like we were broken up. I asked

1003
00:44:39,560 --> 00:44:42,080
Speaker 1: him to at least tell me if we're still together.

1004
00:44:42,440 --> 00:44:46,239
Speaker 1: He wouldn't. Yeah, he just torched it pretty much in

1005
00:44:46,280 --> 00:44:49,120
Speaker 1: an instant. I had been leaning a lot on the

1006
00:44:49,200 --> 00:44:52,440
Speaker 1: kind words I received from folks who reassured me that

1007
00:44:52,480 --> 00:44:55,480
Speaker 1: one fights does not need to derail everything we built

1008
00:44:55,760 --> 00:44:58,799
Speaker 1: over the last five years. I took the perspective that

1009
00:44:58,880 --> 00:45:01,680
Speaker 1: the question of marriage was something that we need to

1010
00:45:01,719 --> 00:45:05,560
Speaker 1: discuss and seriously and hopefully through therapy to arrive at

1011
00:45:05,600 --> 00:45:07,360
Speaker 1: what both of us want. I had no idea that

1012
00:45:07,400 --> 00:45:11,200
Speaker 1: he would just abend the table with no warning, without

1013
00:45:11,320 --> 00:45:14,239
Speaker 1: ever expressing his feelings or giving us the chance to

1014
00:45:14,280 --> 00:45:17,440
Speaker 1: address it with even a single conversation. So many of

1015
00:45:17,440 --> 00:45:21,120
Speaker 1: the comments I revolved around the question, is not marrying

1016
00:45:21,239 --> 00:45:23,920
Speaker 1: him a deal breaker for you? Would it be okay

1017
00:45:23,960 --> 00:45:27,360
Speaker 1: with simply a long term relationship. I don't know. I

1018
00:45:27,360 --> 00:45:29,920
Speaker 1: would have to search my soul for that answer. But

1019
00:45:29,960 --> 00:45:32,680
Speaker 1: I didn't even get the chance. He just made the

1020
00:45:32,760 --> 00:45:38,080
Speaker 1: choice for me five beautiful years and he just effing left.

1021
00:45:38,280 --> 00:45:41,239
Speaker 1: Needless to say, there were a million better ways to

1022
00:45:41,320 --> 00:45:45,520
Speaker 1: do this while honoring his fears and feelings, while still

1023
00:45:45,560 --> 00:45:48,759
Speaker 1: showing me an ounce of respect as his partner and

1024
00:45:49,000 --> 00:45:53,320
Speaker 1: someone who loves him. This owed a conversation, and even

1025
00:45:53,400 --> 00:45:56,719
Speaker 1: if we still reached the same conclusion, I would understand.

1026
00:45:57,239 --> 00:46:00,560
Speaker 1: But this, this is not what I deserve. Yeah, dude,

1027
00:46:00,560 --> 00:46:06,200
Speaker 1: now what I am like? Speechless? I'm mad myself because

1028
00:46:06,200 --> 00:46:07,720
Speaker 1: I gave this guy a chance. I was like, Okay,

1029
00:46:07,840 --> 00:46:10,840
Speaker 1: this guy's hurt, he's hurt inside and he's he and

1030
00:46:10,880 --> 00:46:12,719
Speaker 1: he doesn't know how to communicate, and he's gonna like

1031
00:46:12,840 --> 00:46:15,200
Speaker 1: work on that. Why Why did I fall for this?

1032
00:46:15,960 --> 00:46:19,400
Speaker 1: I did see him one night and we have been texting.

1033
00:46:20,560 --> 00:46:24,319
Speaker 1: He said all of this awful stuff about how he

1034
00:46:24,400 --> 00:46:26,919
Speaker 1: was just trying to tell me everything I wanted to hear,

1035
00:46:27,480 --> 00:46:30,560
Speaker 1: and how I wouldn't liked the person he really is

1036
00:46:31,120 --> 00:46:35,319
Speaker 1: underneath all his people pleasing, He's got a lot of this,

1037
00:46:35,480 --> 00:46:38,920
Speaker 1: don't talk about it, just run in his family, including

1038
00:46:38,920 --> 00:46:44,040
Speaker 1: his parents' relationship. My partner has always said he doesn't

1039
00:46:44,080 --> 00:46:47,880
Speaker 1: respect this kind of behavior and talk to vehemently about

1040
00:46:47,880 --> 00:46:52,279
Speaker 1: how his values are different, and then just did the

1041
00:46:52,360 --> 00:46:55,840
Speaker 1: same thing. Although when I wrote my original post, I

1042
00:46:55,880 --> 00:47:00,840
Speaker 1: wanted nothing more than continue living our happy day together.

1043
00:47:01,440 --> 00:47:05,799
Speaker 1: But given this entire nightmare, space is the only thing

1044
00:47:05,840 --> 00:47:08,399
Speaker 1: that can do anything for either of us. At this point,

1045
00:47:08,680 --> 00:47:11,200
Speaker 1: he has no idea what he's feeling or how to

1046
00:47:11,200 --> 00:47:13,640
Speaker 1: talk about it in a healthy way. My dad had

1047
00:47:13,680 --> 00:47:17,360
Speaker 1: the simplest take and yet said it best. He's immature.

1048
00:47:17,840 --> 00:47:20,200
Speaker 1: He needs to work on himself, and I hope he does.

1049
00:47:20,640 --> 00:47:23,640
Speaker 1: As for me, i'd be an idiot. You still want

1050
00:47:23,680 --> 00:47:26,040
Speaker 1: to marry him knowing this is the kind of thing

1051
00:47:26,280 --> 00:47:28,880
Speaker 1: he's capable of. By the way, you can be capable

1052
00:47:28,920 --> 00:47:31,440
Speaker 1: of joining us on your favorite podcast platform. Just go

1053
00:47:31,480 --> 00:47:34,200
Speaker 1: to Spotify or Apple Podcasts, wherever you listen, search up

1054
00:47:34,200 --> 00:47:37,240
Speaker 1: Okay story Tom, and you can hear more crazy stories

1055
00:47:37,320 --> 00:47:37,920
Speaker 1: just like these.

1056
00:47:38,000 --> 00:47:39,360
Speaker 5: Right in your ear holes.

1057
00:47:39,680 --> 00:47:42,919
Speaker 1: So we've got to break our least apartment hunting. While

1058
00:47:42,920 --> 00:47:45,120
Speaker 1: still rilling from this one to eighty flip of my

1059
00:47:45,239 --> 00:47:48,400
Speaker 1: life has been terrible. We moved to the city together

1060
00:47:48,840 --> 00:47:51,319
Speaker 1: and pretty much every friend I have met is through him,

1061
00:47:51,400 --> 00:47:54,080
Speaker 1: so I'm really scared. Will mean losing a lot of

1062
00:47:54,120 --> 00:47:57,319
Speaker 1: other people I love too. It's going to be expensive

1063
00:47:57,520 --> 00:48:00,600
Speaker 1: and miserable to live on my own, but I'm still

1064
00:48:00,600 --> 00:48:03,680
Speaker 1: grieving my sweet love and the life I thought we

1065
00:48:03,719 --> 00:48:06,400
Speaker 1: were going to have together. I gave five years of

1066
00:48:06,440 --> 00:48:10,280
Speaker 1: my life and so much on myself being one half

1067
00:48:10,320 --> 00:48:13,000
Speaker 1: of that partnership. I never wanted to be on my

1068
00:48:13,040 --> 00:48:15,759
Speaker 1: own again, and now i am. I still love him,

1069
00:48:16,160 --> 00:48:19,520
Speaker 1: but I can't wait around while he fixes himself or

1070
00:48:19,560 --> 00:48:22,279
Speaker 1: pine foolishly hoping one day he'll wake up and be

1071
00:48:22,400 --> 00:48:24,719
Speaker 1: ready for me. I don't want to stand on my

1072
00:48:24,800 --> 00:48:27,400
Speaker 1: own two feet, but that's just what I'll have to do.

1073
00:48:27,480 --> 00:48:29,239
Speaker 1: But that's the end of that story. Chat.

1074
00:48:29,719 --> 00:48:31,480
Speaker 3: Hey, it's Sam. We're ready to get back to these stories.

1075
00:48:31,520 --> 00:48:33,840
Speaker 3: But here's three bites of ads from our sponsors.

1076
00:48:34,160 --> 00:48:39,360
Speaker 6: My boyfriend stole my necklace and gifted it to his sister.

1077
00:48:40,760 --> 00:48:46,279
Speaker 6: Serious advice needed because I am lost. I email have

1078
00:48:46,400 --> 00:48:49,319
Speaker 6: been with my boyfriend Adam for almost a year now.

1079
00:48:49,440 --> 00:48:52,200
Speaker 6: I met Adam through my master's degree in the UK,

1080
00:48:52,280 --> 00:48:54,200
Speaker 6: when I was a sophomore in college, I had a

1081
00:48:54,239 --> 00:48:56,680
Speaker 6: long term boyfriend who I'll call Kyle, who took his

1082
00:48:56,719 --> 00:48:58,320
Speaker 6: own life. We were together for three years, and I

1083
00:48:58,320 --> 00:49:00,239
Speaker 6: would never wish the pain of losing someone like that

1084
00:49:00,320 --> 00:49:02,879
Speaker 6: on my worst enemy. By the way, this comes from

1085
00:49:02,960 --> 00:49:06,160
Speaker 6: user Danielle Kay seventy two thirty eight and you can

1086
00:49:06,200 --> 00:49:09,480
Speaker 6: submit your stories on the r slash Okay storytime sub

1087
00:49:09,480 --> 00:49:12,560
Speaker 6: reread it. When we started college, Kyle gifted me a

1088
00:49:12,640 --> 00:49:15,840
Speaker 6: lockett with the word most engraved on the back of it.

1089
00:49:15,840 --> 00:49:18,800
Speaker 6: It was our thing. It meant he loves me most sappy,

1090
00:49:18,920 --> 00:49:21,319
Speaker 6: but it was ours. Since his passing, this has been

1091
00:49:21,360 --> 00:49:24,000
Speaker 6: my most valuable possession and I do not go anywhere

1092
00:49:24,000 --> 00:49:27,439
Speaker 6: without it. This is my last piece of Kyle. After

1093
00:49:27,480 --> 00:49:30,520
Speaker 6: finishing my degree and struggling the entire time, I decided

1094
00:49:30,520 --> 00:49:32,479
Speaker 6: that I needed to get out of the town where

1095
00:49:32,480 --> 00:49:35,279
Speaker 6: everything happened and decided to study my master's degree in

1096
00:49:35,280 --> 00:49:37,719
Speaker 6: the UK, which is where I met Adam. He is

1097
00:49:37,760 --> 00:49:40,600
Speaker 6: the first person I've allowed myself to love since losing Kyle,

1098
00:49:40,880 --> 00:49:44,040
Speaker 6: and I really have loved our relationship up until this.

1099
00:49:44,680 --> 00:49:47,359
Speaker 6: If it's true, I will never be able to forgive him.

1100
00:49:47,360 --> 00:49:50,840
Speaker 6: Adam has always been insecure of Kyle, asking hypothetical questions

1101
00:49:50,880 --> 00:49:52,920
Speaker 6: like if Kyle was still alive, what I'd be with him,

1102
00:49:52,920 --> 00:49:56,080
Speaker 6: and what I prefer about him over Kyle, et cetera,

1103
00:49:56,200 --> 00:49:59,000
Speaker 6: et cetera. I usually just dodged the questions and never

1104
00:49:59,000 --> 00:50:01,120
Speaker 6: give him an answer, as I don't condone these types

1105
00:50:01,160 --> 00:50:03,120
Speaker 6: of questions and don't want to feed into it. We

1106
00:50:03,200 --> 00:50:06,640
Speaker 6: have also had to have several conversations regarding Adam talking

1107
00:50:06,680 --> 00:50:10,160
Speaker 6: badly about Kyle. He also dislikes if I post about

1108
00:50:10,200 --> 00:50:13,760
Speaker 6: Kyle on his birthday or death anniversary or have hard days.

1109
00:50:14,400 --> 00:50:16,799
Speaker 6: He sees this as that I don't love him and

1110
00:50:16,840 --> 00:50:19,120
Speaker 6: I'm still hung up on Kyle. So no matter how

1111
00:50:19,120 --> 00:50:21,600
Speaker 6: many years that pass and how much I love Adam,

1112
00:50:21,960 --> 00:50:24,480
Speaker 6: Kyle was my first and his life was cut short.

1113
00:50:24,600 --> 00:50:27,759
Speaker 6: He was also my best friend. I will warn him

1114
00:50:28,040 --> 00:50:30,719
Speaker 6: and his life forever, even if I have moved on romantically.

1115
00:50:30,800 --> 00:50:32,920
Speaker 6: He knows how much this necklace from Kyle means to

1116
00:50:32,920 --> 00:50:35,720
Speaker 6: me and how devastated I've been the last two weeks

1117
00:50:36,120 --> 00:50:39,640
Speaker 6: frantically searching our apartment for it. I took a shower

1118
00:50:39,640 --> 00:50:41,479
Speaker 6: one day and set the necklace in the same place

1119
00:50:41,480 --> 00:50:43,160
Speaker 6: I always do, and when I came out of the shower.

1120
00:50:43,200 --> 00:50:45,840
Speaker 6: It was gone, and Adam swears he has no idea

1121
00:50:46,120 --> 00:50:48,799
Speaker 6: where it is and it must have fallen somewhere and

1122
00:50:48,920 --> 00:50:52,240
Speaker 6: got lost. I've been beside myself and I've spent nights

1123
00:50:52,239 --> 00:50:54,960
Speaker 6: and tears over losing this. Adam has a sister who

1124
00:50:54,960 --> 00:50:58,720
Speaker 6: we will call Jane. Jane recently celebrated her twenty first birthday.

1125
00:50:58,760 --> 00:51:01,000
Speaker 6: I'm in her Snapchat private store where she posted the

1126
00:51:01,000 --> 00:51:03,160
Speaker 6: beautiful lockett that her big brother got her for her

1127
00:51:03,200 --> 00:51:10,120
Speaker 6: special day. And it was the same lockett. Yeah, what what?

1128
00:51:11,560 --> 00:51:14,200
Speaker 6: I know it was the same because it had the

1129
00:51:14,280 --> 00:51:15,759
Speaker 6: same engraving on the back.

1130
00:51:16,080 --> 00:51:16,520
Speaker 3: No.

1131
00:51:16,520 --> 00:51:20,400
Speaker 6: No, I don't know how Adam explained that one, but

1132
00:51:20,440 --> 00:51:24,000
Speaker 6: he must have somehow. Me and Jane are not particularly close,

1133
00:51:24,040 --> 00:51:26,160
Speaker 6: and this isn't something I feel I can just confront

1134
00:51:26,160 --> 00:51:29,239
Speaker 6: her about casually. Oh but that's you can. You can, though,

1135
00:51:29,880 --> 00:51:32,200
Speaker 6: you can. I also feel silly bringing it up to

1136
00:51:32,239 --> 00:51:34,400
Speaker 6: Adam in case it isn't the same lockett, and I

1137
00:51:34,400 --> 00:51:37,120
Speaker 6: am just going insane or looking for excuses because I

1138
00:51:37,160 --> 00:51:38,920
Speaker 6: was careless and lost it. I don't see where else

1139
00:51:38,920 --> 00:51:40,799
Speaker 6: Adam would have got this lockett, as it was made

1140
00:51:40,800 --> 00:51:42,399
Speaker 6: for me by a small business back in the state

1141
00:51:42,520 --> 00:51:44,439
Speaker 6: She was local to Kyle and I and her work

1142
00:51:44,440 --> 00:51:46,959
Speaker 6: has always been my favorite advice on how to ask

1143
00:51:47,000 --> 00:51:49,319
Speaker 6: Adam about this. I know if I do, he'll deny

1144
00:51:49,360 --> 00:51:51,440
Speaker 6: it either way, and this lockett means the world to me.

1145
00:51:51,760 --> 00:51:53,200
Speaker 5: I need it back update.

1146
00:51:53,239 --> 00:51:55,440
Speaker 6: A day or two after the initial post, I confronted

1147
00:51:55,480 --> 00:51:58,799
Speaker 6: Adam about the locket. He claimed he did not know

1148
00:51:58,920 --> 00:52:01,120
Speaker 6: what I was talking about. He couldn't believe I could

1149
00:52:01,160 --> 00:52:02,719
Speaker 6: be as cold as to accuse him of this.

1150
00:52:03,000 --> 00:52:03,720
Speaker 4: What a psycho.

1151
00:52:04,480 --> 00:52:06,960
Speaker 6: When asked for receipts or any proof that the locket

1152
00:52:06,960 --> 00:52:08,799
Speaker 6: was not the same as mine, he couldn't produce any

1153
00:52:08,840 --> 00:52:11,040
Speaker 6: and got angry and stormed out of our apartment.

1154
00:52:11,920 --> 00:52:14,239
Speaker 5: He came back that night and tried to.

1155
00:52:14,200 --> 00:52:16,360
Speaker 6: Gaslight me into believing I was the one who created

1156
00:52:16,400 --> 00:52:18,800
Speaker 6: a problem out of nothing, and even that the necklace

1157
00:52:18,840 --> 00:52:21,719
Speaker 6: he got his sister had no engraving whatsoever. Unlucky for him,

1158
00:52:21,760 --> 00:52:24,280
Speaker 6: I had contacted his mom while he was away.

1159
00:52:24,480 --> 00:52:27,239
Speaker 5: I just remembered a very sad, tragic tale.

1160
00:52:27,760 --> 00:52:30,719
Speaker 2: I remember when a young Samuel Donner he wanted to

1161
00:52:30,800 --> 00:52:33,680
Speaker 2: join the cool kids. But instead of labeling you as

1162
00:52:33,719 --> 00:52:34,839
Speaker 2: one of the cool kids, they.

1163
00:52:34,760 --> 00:52:38,040
Speaker 3: Called me salad boy because I ate nothing but salads.

1164
00:52:38,080 --> 00:52:39,960
Speaker 3: I did not trade my lunch for a lunch.

1165
00:52:40,040 --> 00:52:40,600
Speaker 6: He's tally.

1166
00:52:41,120 --> 00:52:41,480
Speaker 1: You know what.

1167
00:52:41,600 --> 00:52:45,280
Speaker 2: Community will always welcome you with open arms, Sam, and make.

1168
00:52:45,200 --> 00:52:46,520
Speaker 3: You feel like a cool kid.

1169
00:52:46,680 --> 00:52:49,160
Speaker 2: The great people who have okay storytime members.

1170
00:52:49,160 --> 00:52:53,000
Speaker 8: Oh, I heard that sixty plus hours of members only

1171
00:52:53,080 --> 00:52:55,200
Speaker 8: content Monday, Wednesday, Friday.

1172
00:52:55,320 --> 00:52:57,760
Speaker 5: You heard right, Sam, And it's only five dollars a month.

1173
00:52:57,640 --> 00:52:59,759
Speaker 8: To go to the link in our description YouTube dot

1174
00:52:59,800 --> 00:53:02,560
Speaker 8: Com slash okop show slash Joint.

1175
00:53:02,640 --> 00:53:05,279
Speaker 6: Now back to the story, Chom Chom stated that I

1176
00:53:05,320 --> 00:53:07,400
Speaker 6: had misplaced my locket and was wondering if it had

1177
00:53:07,480 --> 00:53:09,760
Speaker 6: accidentally been taken home by Adam when he was visiting.

1178
00:53:10,120 --> 00:53:11,960
Speaker 6: She got back to me pretty quickly, saying that she

1179
00:53:12,040 --> 00:53:15,160
Speaker 6: had found my necklace on her daughter Jane's present pile,

1180
00:53:15,239 --> 00:53:17,640
Speaker 6: stacked away in a corner. She said that she would

1181
00:53:17,640 --> 00:53:19,799
Speaker 6: return the necklace to me as soon as possible, and

1182
00:53:19,840 --> 00:53:21,839
Speaker 6: that herself or Jane must have mistaken it for one

1183
00:53:21,880 --> 00:53:23,960
Speaker 6: of her presents and put it back in the pile.

1184
00:53:24,080 --> 00:53:26,239
Speaker 6: So she promised me that she would keep a hold

1185
00:53:26,280 --> 00:53:28,760
Speaker 6: of it in her room until she got the chance

1186
00:53:28,760 --> 00:53:32,120
Speaker 6: to return it. Immediately after, I had confirmation that Adam's

1187
00:53:32,120 --> 00:53:34,600
Speaker 6: mom had the locket. I booked the cheapest flight home

1188
00:53:34,640 --> 00:53:36,560
Speaker 6: I could find and asked his mom for a lift

1189
00:53:36,600 --> 00:53:38,960
Speaker 6: to the airport that way she could return the necklace.

1190
00:53:39,239 --> 00:53:42,279
Speaker 6: She agreed, and after that I sat planning exactly how

1191
00:53:42,280 --> 00:53:44,000
Speaker 6: I would tell Adam that we were breaking up.

1192
00:53:44,520 --> 00:53:46,239
Speaker 5: I think you should tell him when you're already on

1193
00:53:46,239 --> 00:53:46,640
Speaker 5: the plane.

1194
00:53:46,719 --> 00:53:47,600
Speaker 1: Yep. Yeah.

1195
00:53:47,640 --> 00:53:50,120
Speaker 6: I didn't need him to admit to stealing the necklace.

1196
00:53:50,280 --> 00:53:52,480
Speaker 6: The fact that I had enough doubt in my mind

1197
00:53:52,480 --> 00:53:55,239
Speaker 6: that I knew he had taken it was enough for

1198
00:53:55,320 --> 00:53:58,040
Speaker 6: me to know that this relationship was going nowhere.

1199
00:53:58,400 --> 00:53:58,880
Speaker 5: Way to go.

1200
00:53:58,960 --> 00:54:04,120
Speaker 6: Ope, God, I love that crystallization in your brain. I

1201
00:54:04,320 --> 00:54:07,720
Speaker 6: just wanted my necklace back. I stayed with Adam until

1202
00:54:07,840 --> 00:54:10,120
Speaker 6: my flight, which was about a week ago. I let

1203
00:54:10,200 --> 00:54:11,759
Speaker 6: him and his mom drive me to the airport and

1204
00:54:11,800 --> 00:54:14,200
Speaker 6: I left the note breaking up with him, telling him

1205
00:54:14,200 --> 00:54:16,200
Speaker 6: that my friends would be by to pick up my

1206
00:54:16,200 --> 00:54:18,480
Speaker 6: stuff and move it between their flats. I took a

1207
00:54:18,560 --> 00:54:21,120
Speaker 6: leave of absence from university until I work out where

1208
00:54:21,160 --> 00:54:22,919
Speaker 6: I'm going to stay when I get back to the UK,

1209
00:54:23,239 --> 00:54:26,200
Speaker 6: and have contacted my landlord about taking my name off

1210
00:54:26,200 --> 00:54:29,240
Speaker 6: the lease. When Adam's mom gave me back my necklace,

1211
00:54:29,520 --> 00:54:32,040
Speaker 6: his face was priceless. He looked like a deer in

1212
00:54:32,040 --> 00:54:35,120
Speaker 6: the headlights. He was so angry, but he couldn't show

1213
00:54:35,120 --> 00:54:37,520
Speaker 6: it in front of his mom. Is that, now that

1214
00:54:37,520 --> 00:54:39,160
Speaker 6: I'm thinking about it, maybe that does make him look

1215
00:54:39,160 --> 00:54:40,759
Speaker 6: like a deer in the headlights, Like try to be

1216
00:54:40,800 --> 00:54:41,839
Speaker 6: angry but you can't show it.

1217
00:54:42,080 --> 00:54:48,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, just uh yeah. I would also leave a note

1218
00:54:48,239 --> 00:54:52,160
Speaker 1: for the mom so he can't twist the words.

1219
00:54:52,600 --> 00:54:52,759
Speaker 3: Yeah.

1220
00:54:52,800 --> 00:54:54,920
Speaker 6: I wouldn't even involved Adham at all. I would have

1221
00:54:54,920 --> 00:54:57,000
Speaker 6: had Adam not there, just the mom.

1222
00:54:57,200 --> 00:54:57,439
Speaker 1: Yeah.

1223
00:54:57,480 --> 00:55:00,239
Speaker 6: His sister Jane hasn't once questioned the missing necklace, and

1224
00:55:00,280 --> 00:55:02,040
Speaker 6: it's been around two weeks now.

1225
00:55:02,280 --> 00:55:05,200
Speaker 5: I doubt she will ever notice. She is rather spoiled.

1226
00:55:05,960 --> 00:55:08,439
Speaker 6: And by the way, you can be spoiled too if

1227
00:55:08,440 --> 00:55:12,399
Speaker 6: you want full episodes with stories like this boil Boy,

1228
00:55:12,440 --> 00:55:13,480
Speaker 6: do we have a treat for you, because you can

1229
00:55:13,520 --> 00:55:15,640
Speaker 6: go to Spotify or Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen

1230
00:55:15,680 --> 00:55:17,960
Speaker 6: to podcasts and just search, okay, story time in there

1231
00:55:17,960 --> 00:55:19,560
Speaker 6: you can listen to like up.

1232
00:55:19,360 --> 00:55:20,239
Speaker 5: A jillion of them.

1233
00:55:21,040 --> 00:55:22,839
Speaker 6: And there is a little bit of an update here,

1234
00:55:22,840 --> 00:55:25,239
Speaker 6: I mean, before before we finish.

1235
00:55:25,040 --> 00:55:29,160
Speaker 1: It, execute it perfectly, I'd say, I don't think i'd

1236
00:55:29,200 --> 00:55:32,919
Speaker 1: do anything else differently yet getting out pretty quick got

1237
00:55:32,920 --> 00:55:33,680
Speaker 1: the necklace back.

1238
00:55:35,880 --> 00:55:40,359
Speaker 7: I think would we confront him like, all right, cats

1239
00:55:40,400 --> 00:55:43,279
Speaker 7: out of the bag, stop lying, where do we go

1240
00:55:43,320 --> 00:55:43,640
Speaker 7: from here?

1241
00:55:43,719 --> 00:55:46,520
Speaker 5: Or we just like it's done well. I think they

1242
00:55:46,560 --> 00:55:48,759
Speaker 5: did it and it was like there was nothing came

1243
00:55:48,800 --> 00:55:48,960
Speaker 5: of it.

1244
00:55:49,040 --> 00:55:51,400
Speaker 6: He just was like, I can't what, I can't believe

1245
00:55:51,480 --> 00:55:54,640
Speaker 6: that you do so ridiculous, saying you just like got

1246
00:55:54,640 --> 00:55:56,880
Speaker 6: mad and left. Yeah. So I think it's more of like,

1247
00:55:56,920 --> 00:55:59,359
Speaker 6: if you need the Catharsis, you should just like call

1248
00:55:59,440 --> 00:56:02,160
Speaker 6: him and like tell him how trash he is and

1249
00:56:02,200 --> 00:56:04,200
Speaker 6: that you know and you know that you don't need

1250
00:56:05,160 --> 00:56:08,120
Speaker 6: the reassurance or the confirmation because you literally have it

1251
00:56:08,160 --> 00:56:12,600
Speaker 6: in your hand. Yeah, And it was yeah, so you're trash.

1252
00:56:13,160 --> 00:56:15,600
Speaker 6: You need to get off your chest and then move

1253
00:56:15,640 --> 00:56:18,120
Speaker 6: on with your life. Put him in the review because

1254
00:56:18,160 --> 00:56:21,200
Speaker 6: that guy's and let that be a lesson if anyone

1255
00:56:21,360 --> 00:56:24,960
Speaker 6: is like insecure about the fact that you've had previous

1256
00:56:25,040 --> 00:56:27,640
Speaker 6: relationships to the point where they're.

1257
00:56:27,400 --> 00:56:30,440
Speaker 1: Like, what do you did you like that guy? Yeah?

1258
00:56:30,480 --> 00:56:31,239
Speaker 5: Why do you like me?

1259
00:56:31,520 --> 00:56:33,520
Speaker 1: Do you still like that guy who's better at me

1260
00:56:33,640 --> 00:56:37,760
Speaker 1: or him?

1261
00:56:37,880 --> 00:56:38,840
Speaker 7: Why do you bring that up?

1262
00:56:38,880 --> 00:56:42,279
Speaker 1: Huh? I don't know, so now we're all insecure. Riley. No, well,

1263
00:56:42,320 --> 00:56:43,880
Speaker 1: I'm just saying, don't ask those questions.

1264
00:56:44,600 --> 00:56:45,719
Speaker 7: Why are you asking the question?

1265
00:56:45,840 --> 00:56:47,640
Speaker 1: I didn't. I just give you an example of what

1266
00:56:47,719 --> 00:56:48,799
Speaker 1: questions and not to ask.

1267
00:56:49,000 --> 00:56:53,120
Speaker 6: Anyways, let's go ahead, and let's go ahead, and let's

1268
00:56:53,160 --> 00:56:55,279
Speaker 6: go ahead and keep going.

1269
00:56:55,320 --> 00:56:57,759
Speaker 5: Let's go, let's go bust out the rulers. Yes, oh yes,

1270
00:56:58,200 --> 00:57:00,800
Speaker 5: uh no, let's let's finished the story.

1271
00:57:02,680 --> 00:57:06,840
Speaker 6: I am glad to update that I am safe. I

1272
00:57:06,880 --> 00:57:09,920
Speaker 6: am back home with my necklace from Kyle. I am

1273
00:57:10,000 --> 00:57:12,840
Speaker 6: just home from visiting his grave, telling him this entire

1274
00:57:13,200 --> 00:57:15,719
Speaker 6: story and laughing about it. It reminded me that I

1275
00:57:15,719 --> 00:57:18,480
Speaker 6: should update and probably hold higher standards in men for

1276
00:57:18,560 --> 00:57:23,240
Speaker 6: myself Dan. And that is a tragic yet uplifting end