Speaker 1: Welcome to We Talk Back Podcast, the production of iHeartRadio
Speaker 1: and the Black Effect Network.
Speaker 2: So you're just two unapologetically black women with an opinion
Speaker 2: who talks back.
Speaker 1: What's up, y'all? Thank you for tuning in for a
Speaker 1: new episode that We Talk Back and show dedicated to
Speaker 1: you dreamers and chases Niggas in you house. Yea, it's
Speaker 1: your co host, AJ Holliday. What's up, tam Bam.
Speaker 2: Hey y'all, it's tam ma'am. I love y'all. I love
Speaker 2: you AJ. How you doing?
Speaker 1: I love you more? I am well, y'all. I am
Speaker 1: uh still waking up in the morning. Gotta thank God.
Speaker 2: Let me tell you something. Losing weight, There is no
Speaker 2: finish line to this ship. There is is a marathon.
Speaker 2: Now you never win. You never win this race. You're
Speaker 2: running forever.
Speaker 1: You could follow funk off.
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, I'm like, I took a couple, like a
Speaker 2: couple of days off and I got on the scale
Speaker 2: and the scale was like, oh hey, here go a
Speaker 2: pound or two back on my god damn all weekend.
Speaker 1: I was saying, like, because something clicked in my head
Speaker 1: the last couple like after my little bath, I tried
Speaker 1: to wash a lot of things down the dream after
Speaker 1: my last spiritual bath, so some shit clicked in my head.
Speaker 1: Over the weekends, I've been going kind of hard, but
Speaker 1: you can't eat shit. And then when I actually subscribe
Speaker 1: to my fitness Powder's time too, because that has helped
Speaker 1: me to pass, like logging your calories and shit like that.
Speaker 1: And then also this dude on Instagram had like a
Speaker 1: whole old formula, like a very simple formula for losing weight,
Speaker 1: like how much you need to eat, like your macros
Speaker 1: and stuff like that, and you know, my fitness power
Speaker 1: tracks that shit. But yesterday was like, you didn't eat enough.
Speaker 1: I'm not either, because next thing I eat, as soon
Speaker 1: as I eat something, I'm a gaining the couple pounds.
Speaker 1: I don't lost that exactly. Man, Shit, you can't eat,
Speaker 1: you can't drink, you can't do shit.
Speaker 2: Just sitting in the house and stuck down water. That's it.
Speaker 1: Now. I have been making some lime water because you
Speaker 1: know that helped burn calories too, you know, So I've
Speaker 1: been putting line in my water.
Speaker 2: I've been doing like apple cider vinegar.
Speaker 1: I took up that tears my stomach up. Really, I
Speaker 1: mixed it.
Speaker 2: With water drink that down, take my beat my d
Speaker 2: three vitamins. Then I go back with some SSS tonic.
Speaker 2: That shit nasty as, but it's so good for you.
Speaker 2: It's iron. I needed my iron below mm hmm. And
Speaker 2: there's some chlorofy it seems.
Speaker 1: Like the I do chloropho every day too, pussy bee
Speaker 1: m while y'all over there with all them suppositories, y'all
Speaker 1: be sticking up, y'all, ship just get your water, we mermaids,
Speaker 1: you know, so you smell a little fishy, you need
Speaker 1: some clean water, like because that ship. Them suppositories don't
Speaker 1: get rid of in fact, and stuff like that, Like people,
Speaker 1: what kind of stuff to a sign of those those
Speaker 1: boric acid positories.
Speaker 2: Listen, if things get a little randy down there, I
Speaker 2: will shoot one of them up there.
Speaker 1: Hello, What what kind of word was that your mama
Speaker 1: be saying that?
Speaker 2: Actually I used that word completely incorrectly. Rand is like aroused.
Speaker 1: Oh they ran dad, that's some old shit, Helen. You know, y'all,
Speaker 1: this past weekend was the morre of day weekend? What
Speaker 1: you had going on? Tom, They're all.
Speaker 2: I looked at my bank account and they said stay home, right,
Speaker 2: So Friday night I went outside a new bar opened
Speaker 2: up right across the street from my house, and I
Speaker 2: went to it for that grand opening. It's cute. It's
Speaker 2: like a little hookah spot. It's really small. I hung
Speaker 2: out there on Friday night just for a minute because
Speaker 2: someone was like, hey, pull up, so I went there.
Speaker 2: But then Saturday and Sunday and Monday, God said, stay home, baby,
Speaker 2: where it's free. So I went. I got a rooftop
Speaker 2: pool and it was kind of like a club up there.
Speaker 2: Everybody was up there drinking, you know, having We had
Speaker 2: like a little my homegirl got like a portable plastic hookah.
Speaker 2: It's perfect for the pool because you're not supposed to
Speaker 2: have glass up there. So we was up there smoking
Speaker 2: the little hookah, having our drinks and swimming and stuff.
Speaker 2: It was a good time. And I did that all week.
Speaker 2: And if it's free, it's for me.
Speaker 1: Period. Man, were saving money all twenty twenty four. What
Speaker 1: you just got got responsibilities? Let me see. So did
Speaker 1: I go out Friday night?
Speaker 2: My mama said, what you're doing for your birthday? Set
Speaker 2: trying not to be homeless?
Speaker 1: That part part, that part, because like my birthday is
Speaker 1: next Saturday. A bitch got bills Okay, right, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: pay my bills for my birthday. I might get a
Speaker 1: bird or a cat. I'm still the vigging, so.
Speaker 2: That's no, get a bird.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know, because I do want another dog.
Speaker 1: But dogs are like high meetenance, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: Like birds, you can beat that bitch in the cage.
Speaker 1: Cats really be fitting for themselves. Dogs you gotta damn
Speaker 1: to take that nigga with you.
Speaker 2: Listen, with a bird, you gotta make sure you temperature
Speaker 2: control that house though, because you don't want to be
Speaker 2: like Gina and my Mama bird.
Speaker 1: No, you gotta make sure the fans ain't knowing if
Speaker 1: that nigga be out. You know what I'm saying, Your
Speaker 1: bird be that flew up in the fan. Ooh, nine
Speaker 1: hundred dollars down a dream just that week. Damn bird,
Speaker 1: nine hundred dollars. I'm like, how long has this nigga
Speaker 1: been in the store?
Speaker 2: What kind of bird? Nine dollars?
Speaker 1: A sun conyr parakeet, That's what I want. They're a
Speaker 1: little bit bigger, but they loud as hell, though talking
Speaker 1: it's the only thing so but but they do talk.
Speaker 1: Though they do talk. You can teach them to dance
Speaker 1: and all the type of shit. But I went out Sunday,
Speaker 1: so there was a whole this weekend was a whole
Speaker 1: lot of gang shit going on in this city from
Speaker 1: World Day weekend. And it did rain some also. It
Speaker 1: was like acting like Miami or some shit off and
Speaker 1: on rains for Saturday and Friday. And Saturday my Sunday,
Speaker 1: I went to a after party for a white party,
Speaker 1: so the majority people was in there were white on Bitch.
Speaker 1: I came in through the white parties dressing all black
Speaker 1: like jeezy. Okay it was and yeah, that was fun.
Speaker 1: I hadn't been to a club in a long time,
Speaker 1: I feel like, aside from when we went to the
Speaker 1: Strip Club a couple of weeks ago. But I just
Speaker 1: be feeling old as fuck in the club. Okay, I
Speaker 1: know I look younger than them, goddamn gen Z's or whoever,
Speaker 1: but I'd be feeling old as hell around them. Bitch,
Speaker 1: my knee was hurting, do you hear me? Because Sunday
Speaker 1: morning I worked out real hard, so now I got
Speaker 1: these high ass heels on in the club and my
Speaker 1: knee started buckling. And look my cousin when she talks
Speaker 1: like she she's like those people that's like real touchy
Speaker 1: when she talking and standing leaning on you, I'm like, yo,
Speaker 1: I need a kickstand. I cannot hold up your body
Speaker 1: weight and mine, you know, like I swear if you
Speaker 1: hit me one more time while laughing and talking, I'm
Speaker 1: a falling. Like I was really struggling to get the
Speaker 1: fuck up out of there with my knees attack. I
Speaker 1: had to sit down and rub my knee out.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, you was in there.
Speaker 1: Because I did a lot of squats. Yeah, but you was.
Speaker 2: Your knee hurting from squats mean your form might not
Speaker 2: been a.
Speaker 1: Good or or I haven't done any in a long time.
Speaker 1: Maybe that's what it is, because if this ain't even
Speaker 1: squatt on, no dick.
Speaker 2: You doing ship you needed this year? Last night my
Speaker 2: phone was so dry. I kept calling you like he's like,
Speaker 2: why this bitch callow me so much? You got nobody else?
Speaker 2: And I told you I've got no dick for you.
Speaker 1: She did say that. I said, yes, you want loved.
Speaker 1: I sent you to Alley Hoot once in lifetime already,
Speaker 1: I'll like, no more dick to sent over there. I
Speaker 1: don't even know other niggas. No more Okay, you neither neither.
Speaker 2: Yeah, let's don't know. These niggas get in the scenes. Girl.
Speaker 1: So I saw that, and I love Vivica Fox. I
Speaker 1: think she's dope. So Vivica Fox basically says that, you know,
Speaker 1: she thinks she's ready for a husband now. And I'm
Speaker 1: pretty sure this lady has been trying to get married
Speaker 1: over the years. I don't think that she's just been
Speaker 1: outside her whole life ring. Just like all of us,
Speaker 1: we'd be looking for our other half. So the headline says,
Speaker 1: sixty year old Vivica Fox says she's finally looking for
Speaker 1: a husband and she's taking boyfriend applications. So listen if
Speaker 1: y'all listen to the show and got some money. Okay,
Speaker 1: Vivica Fox looking for a husband, she said, I'm getting
Speaker 1: She said no, she said, I'm not getting on an
Speaker 1: app He must be fun, loves to travel, not intimidated
Speaker 1: by who I am, and lets me spend money going shopping.
Speaker 1: Open to all races. Okay, So Auntie is not limiting
Speaker 1: herself to just black men only, because statistically, you'll be
Speaker 1: dying alone. Okay. So Hair goes some tweets, and of
Speaker 1: course Kevin Samuels pops up. You know, people were like
Speaker 1: retreating pictures of him from heaven. Rip the Godfather. Only
Speaker 1: one to defeat him is death itself. Is one tweet.
Speaker 1: Another says Kevin Sagues was right about you women, damn.
Speaker 1: And this other one said, three thousand pounds later, I
Speaker 1: hate men. Yeah, I'm convinced women hate their boyfriends slash husbands.
Speaker 1: Always given the worst version of themselves to those guys.
Speaker 2: What makes that the worst version of herself? She's just older.
Speaker 2: But here's the thing that shit do scare me. I
Speaker 2: don't want to still be out here, sixties, still looking
Speaker 2: for love. And I'd be like I told you.
Speaker 1: My mom and her homegirl, seventy year old cousin out here.
Speaker 2: My mom and her homegirls, they'd be like they in
Speaker 2: their sixties, and they'd be like, we don't even want
Speaker 2: no man, no more a man come second to a
Speaker 2: good book in the glass of warm milk. My mom
Speaker 2: will say that, I don't never want to.
Speaker 1: Be like married women want to get up out of
Speaker 1: that too. I don't married women want to get out
Speaker 1: of these situations and be single.
Speaker 2: I don't want that. I want me a husband.
Speaker 1: Forever I was in Walmart. Yes, I did go to Walmart, y'all. Okay,
Speaker 1: I was in Walmart and I was talking shit about something.
Speaker 1: I was talking shit on the phone with my cousin
Speaker 1: about men. I was saying something and then this lady
Speaker 1: and her husband came on the aisle, nice looking black couple,
Speaker 1: nice looking man, nice looking woman. And she was like, girl, sorry, girl,
Speaker 1: I got the last good one. And I just laughed
Speaker 1: because they were older, right, and he was a retired
Speaker 1: police officer, and she was like, I got the last
Speaker 1: good one, girl, Like, that's how I want to brag
Speaker 1: on my husband in older age.
Speaker 2: Yeah, me too, that sounds good. Yes, I got the
Speaker 2: last good one. You're gass him up.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's what his smile.
Speaker 2: I don't feel like, wouldn't be gassing they mean up enough.
Speaker 1: I know I don't, y'all Listen, I'd really be working
Speaker 1: it through a lot of working through a lot of
Speaker 1: things that I grew up under the reiin of a
Speaker 1: crazy lady. And one thing I know I do is
Speaker 1: talk shit like my mama, Like I don't got nothing
Speaker 1: nice to say about a nigga. You gotta find I'm
Speaker 1: terrible because I because I do have nice things to
Speaker 1: say every the little things in the other bad things
Speaker 1: just irritate the fuck out of me. And I got
Speaker 1: to tell somebody before I beat you up.
Speaker 2: Well, I challenge you to like go up to him
Speaker 2: today and be like, you know what, this, this, this,
Speaker 2: and this.
Speaker 1: No, I do it. Okay, I do that in person.
Speaker 1: I'm talking about when I talk about my significant others
Speaker 1: to other people.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well today I want you to be like, go
Speaker 2: up to somebody.
Speaker 1: Man, I got the last good one and so he
Speaker 1: fucking not don't say that part, but okay, so what
Speaker 1: the vificult foxes? So a couple of nice men did
Speaker 1: do some nice sweets. This last one says there's no
Speaker 1: age limit for getting married. Plenty of men around her
Speaker 1: age that may have just lost a spouse, recently divorced,
Speaker 1: or have never been married themselves. This woman is allowed
Speaker 1: to want companionship. The only person who determines her worth
Speaker 1: is God. These comments are silly, listen because men, y'all
Speaker 1: come in all shapes and sizes. Y'all change within a
Speaker 1: relationship to Your hair is balding. You already was short,
Speaker 1: your stomach getting big, your dickens. See nice used to
Speaker 1: always complains a woman can say about you and men
Speaker 1: is like, ah, guess why somebody stole wants a three
Speaker 1: thousand pound woman. Okay, she's not three when I watch
Speaker 1: I'm talking about based on that comment, because when I
Speaker 1: watch six hundred pounds life, like, all of them always
Speaker 1: have a man.
Speaker 2: I don't know what quality, but they keep one exactly.
Speaker 1: So fuck y'all. Okay that part because I feel the
Speaker 1: same way about some of the guys. I went to
Speaker 1: high school, but y'all was so fine back then. When
Speaker 1: I see you now, like we don't even look like
Speaker 1: be in the same age group.
Speaker 2: I feel like you being mean and niggas right now,
Speaker 2: not all niggas did that.
Speaker 1: I am not being mean and niggas. You saying that
Speaker 1: now people will be like, she being mean and niggas,
Speaker 1: and I'm not being mean.
Speaker 2: I am.
Speaker 1: I am just showing both sides of the thing. Like,
Speaker 1: while y'all talk crazy about Vivica Fox, here are the
Speaker 1: things she's going to be up against, being this fine
Speaker 1: ass sixty year old woman, you know, trying to stow
Speaker 1: a comparable meat.
Speaker 2: Please, God, you know where's my husband this year? I
Speaker 2: don't want to be out here sixty still trying to
Speaker 2: find a mate.
Speaker 1: Did you ever write down, like the things that you
Speaker 1: wanted a man?
Speaker 2: Have you done that yet, like really created a list?
Speaker 1: Yes, I'm going to try and manifest exactly what you
Speaker 1: want and need for your life and be very specific.
Speaker 2: I speak it, but I've never written it. But I
Speaker 2: definitely speak it, and I'm holding out.
Speaker 1: I'm waiting.
Speaker 2: My I be twitching writing it down. My I be
Speaker 2: twitching every day. I don't know.
Speaker 1: Did you see this? Damn Mayor maryor chuck this girl?
Speaker 1: Shut up? He from Helena Wes Alena, Arkansas. A mid
Speaker 1: South mayor, is apologizing for his behavior after a viral
Speaker 1: video showed him arguing with his family members. Now the
Speaker 1: family members are his is, his daughter and his niece
Speaker 1: and if video live streaming on Facebook Helena West Helena
Speaker 1: mayor Christopher Franklin intensely yelling at his daughter and niece. Uh,
Speaker 1: he says, Jala, you're a whole No, she's no excuse me,
Speaker 1: see me, he said, Jaala, your whole ass. All you're
Speaker 1: doing is popping tricks. Frank can be Franklin can be
Speaker 1: heard saying, and Jayla, you act like you my daughter.
Speaker 1: You ain't even been something I don't know. You are
Speaker 1: the blink between my blink. Eat this blink. You and
Speaker 1: Shanayah dropped to your mother's to your mother f and
Speaker 1: knees and eat this blink.
Speaker 2: Tell me your daughter to a niece to get on
Speaker 2: her knees and eat your dick is crazy.
Speaker 1: That's as bad as diabolical, right.
Speaker 2: I don't care how mad it lasted for several minutes.
Speaker 2: I don't care how mad you are. Then that was
Speaker 2: not what you were supposed to say to your daughter.
Speaker 1: I can only imagine why they acting the way they
Speaker 1: are towards you, if that's how you be talking to
Speaker 1: them exactly, because I just feel like nothing will ever
Speaker 1: make me that mad at my son where I would
Speaker 1: tell him to eat my ass or something like what
Speaker 1: is happening? You obviously didn't raise them. You didn't raise
Speaker 1: your daughter because you could not possibly talk to a
Speaker 1: daughter that you raise like actively like that. You act
Speaker 1: like that's a stranger.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and he don't need to be talking like that too, absolutely.
Speaker 1: Not, and know you're doing it on a public platform.
Speaker 2: Apologize party for his family. Nigga girl, you ought to be.
Speaker 1: Somebody said, what type of Mary gets online? And talks
Speaker 1: like this, ask Klena West Selena resident Kimberly Hinder, a
Speaker 1: hard Hartisan, she believed Franklin's apology should not shield him
Speaker 1: from being held accountable for his behavior as an elected official.
Speaker 1: I want him to step down or be removed from
Speaker 1: yor absolutely. Yeah, he needs to go on and find
Speaker 1: a different profession and seek help first. Now we don't
Speaker 1: see what led to that, you know, because there's been
Speaker 1: other people in the past who have cussed out Kirk
Speaker 1: Franklin did it to his adult son. He ain't tell
Speaker 1: him to suck his dick. No, absolutely not.
Speaker 2: No.
Speaker 1: That is just so weird and wild for a father
Speaker 1: to tell his daughter some ship like that. I couldn't imagine.
Speaker 2: Listen, I understand sometimes your kids get on your nerves
Speaker 2: and you might cuss them out. My mama definitely has
Speaker 2: cussed me out in this lifetime, and I'm okay with it.
Speaker 2: I probably deserved it. But she ain't never tell me
Speaker 2: to eat her kouchie that like that, Like that's crazy,
Speaker 2: that's insane for your period to ever say that. Yeah,
Speaker 2: That's what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: He doesn't see her ass his daughter, And there's no way,
Speaker 1: y'all summer is here. Okay, Juna's Juna's hair is Gemini season,
Speaker 1: Jim and Jim and Gemini season. And if you're trying
Speaker 1: to take some trips this summer, y'all, I want to
Speaker 1: check out this app called fly me Out. Okay, this
Speaker 1: this is a real thing. It's an app called fly
Speaker 1: me Out. Y'all can download it. I won't be using it.
Speaker 1: I hope Tam won't be using it.
Speaker 2: I thought about it, but yo, I don't want to
Speaker 2: be sex traffic.
Speaker 1: That's what it sounds like to me. It sounds like
Speaker 1: you might end up missing. You're being you. It's basically
Speaker 1: like a dating website and obviously it's it's men flying
Speaker 1: women out. You could put an application in to be
Speaker 1: flown out, and they have all these luxury places you
Speaker 1: can go to on the app with these different men.
Speaker 1: That's insane. Well, I didn't know the app, so I
Speaker 1: don't know what's in there.
Speaker 2: That just sounds like a recipe for disaster. You just
Speaker 2: getting on the app and like going to Hawaii with
Speaker 2: a complete stranger because they put it in the app.
Speaker 2: It's crazy.
Speaker 1: We just had an episode on pimping like this is
Speaker 1: pimping like this is like legal pimping, like setting up
Speaker 1: an app where you charge. I'm pretty sure both people
Speaker 1: have a subscription, a man and a woman, and you
Speaker 1: are getting a percentage from them paying for sex, because
Speaker 1: that is essentially what's going on.
Speaker 2: Yeah, because it ain't just fly me out and come
Speaker 2: experience this island. Y'all know this.
Speaker 1: White girls. I'm pretty sure it's gonna be white young girls. Okay,
Speaker 1: you know it's for whatever reason. It almost seems like
Speaker 1: white women can't be holes, but everybody always want to
Speaker 1: bash black women. Me.
Speaker 2: I know about I know some white hoes.
Speaker 1: We do, women do, but it just seems like men
Speaker 1: don't consider them holes to be hoes.
Speaker 2: I don't know. I don't know how this.
Speaker 1: White men do not be concerned about the knowledge on
Speaker 1: them coucheese because college and shit like that. It goes down. Yeah,
Speaker 1: do with them white girls and nobody cares. They get
Speaker 1: to go on and have a family and they probably
Speaker 1: be doing three things the ship with their husbands to wife,
Speaker 1: swapping out all types of shit, and they don't get judged.
Speaker 1: They just get to exist. Black women.
Speaker 2: I don't know, Black women, we might, they might get judged.
Speaker 2: We just don't live inside their bubble and that's why
Speaker 2: we don't know.
Speaker 1: But it's like, you know, you're a fucking horde, but
Speaker 1: the man gonna don't marry you. You know you're a whore.
Speaker 2: I know a lot of just married.
Speaker 1: But are they husband gonna be calling them a hole?
Speaker 1: Because I feel like white men be really burrating their wife. Man, Susan,
Speaker 1: shut up, you're a fucking horror, like, and it's less
Speaker 1: that we're still gonna be together. Yeah, that's crazy, And
Speaker 1: she's probably saying shit to him, like, yeah, remember you
Speaker 1: were Jeff in college.
Speaker 2: You were Jeff in college.
Speaker 1: You were with Jeff in college. Oh shit, yeah, I
Speaker 1: remember you and Jeff in college. That goes into our
Speaker 1: wild boys back then. That goes into.
Speaker 2: Our topic for today.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that definitely is a great segue into this week's topic. Y'all.
Speaker 1: I had some little things going on this weekend and
Speaker 1: it made me think about because this is conversations I
Speaker 1: definitely have had with Tim and a couple of my
Speaker 1: couple other friends, like what would you do if you're
Speaker 1: in a relationship with a guy and he tells you,
Speaker 1: like straight up, not even a relationship or friendship. He
Speaker 1: tells you that he's bisexual. Like, we don't know what
Speaker 1: we would do until it happens, I think, but I
Speaker 1: want to talk about it. What are we doing? We'll
Speaker 1: be right back after the break, all right, y'all. So
Speaker 1: we're back, and the world of dating is scare re, okay.
Speaker 1: And I want to preface this conversation by saying, listen,
Speaker 1: because people have said some really mean things about me
Speaker 1: in the past. I'm not homophobic. Okay, you're heterophobic butt,
Speaker 1: that's right. But it's just something that women have to
Speaker 1: deal with, right because there are a lot of men
Speaker 1: out out here that even though they could be forty
Speaker 1: years old, they might still be trying to figure out
Speaker 1: their sexuality. So what happens when you encounter somebody in
Speaker 1: that process or they already got it figured out? And hey,
Speaker 1: you know, I like you, but I've also dated men
Speaker 1: in the past. Can you date a man, Tam who
Speaker 1: is openly bisexual?
Speaker 2: Hell no, I said, hell no, And let me tell
Speaker 2: you why, because not because I have anything against bisexual people.
Speaker 2: Live your life, do what you want to do. Fuck
Speaker 2: who the fuck I don't care for me is I
Speaker 2: can't constantly live with the idea that I have to
Speaker 2: worry about niggas and women. I already have trust issues,
Speaker 2: and now I'm worried about you fucking bitches and niggas.
Speaker 2: That's just too much. It's just too much for me.
Speaker 2: I can't worry about it. I can't be concerned with
Speaker 2: that because I already don't trust men. It's hard for
Speaker 2: me to trust me in period. So yeah, no, it's
Speaker 2: not gonna happen.
Speaker 1: And I think that's the sentiment that most women have, right.
Speaker 1: Their concern is always the man, then being promiscuous with
Speaker 1: men and women, right, And it does get sketchy. I
Speaker 1: don't give a damn what y'all say is just levels
Speaker 1: to this shit, right, and that is an extreme level
Speaker 1: of cheating. But we shouldn't assume that just because a
Speaker 1: man is gay, right, that he or bisexual, that he
Speaker 1: would cheat with a man. He may not even be
Speaker 1: a cheater, you know what I'm saying. He may not
Speaker 1: cheat on you with a man or a woman. It's
Speaker 1: just his sexual preference. He likes egos both ways, but
Speaker 1: whenever he's in a relationship with a person, that's who
Speaker 1: he's with. For me, I could never engage in any
Speaker 1: relationship with a man who is openly bisexual. When I
Speaker 1: say openly meaning you told me, thank you. I appreciate
Speaker 1: you for being honest, because there are a lot of
Speaker 1: men who are never going to be honest with themselves
Speaker 1: or anybody else, and they secretly do this stuff. There's
Speaker 1: no way for me to know. So when I say
Speaker 1: openly gay, openly bisexual, you told me, right, I just
Speaker 1: think that there's a different mindset for people who go
Speaker 1: both ways, like that's just their lifestyle. It's just a
Speaker 1: different mindset that I don't have, because I feel like
Speaker 1: even in conversation with some men. I remember one night
Speaker 1: my homegirl, we met up with one of her friends.
Speaker 1: Gay guy, big ass, gay guy. He like six ' five,
Speaker 1: nice looking, he does hair like nice looking guy. He
Speaker 1: kept asking me if I wanted to have a baby
Speaker 1: with him, like boy, he has a son, he said
Speaker 1: he wanted more children. I'm like no, like so then
Speaker 1: we got then at the bar, get into a whole
Speaker 1: conversation about why men need to tell women that they
Speaker 1: are bisexual or that they have had sexual encounters with
Speaker 1: men before, And he was arguing me down about how
Speaker 1: that's not a woman's business, Why doesn't matter who the
Speaker 1: man has been with before. Why doesn't matter who a
Speaker 1: person has been with it matters.
Speaker 2: I think it matters.
Speaker 1: Let's talk about why it matters.
Speaker 2: But all right, hold on, here's the thing. Because if
Speaker 2: a man asked me about my past, you the only
Speaker 2: one my holdness get deleted. So is it for me
Speaker 2: to say I need to I don't have to tell
Speaker 2: my sexual history, and then require a man to tell
Speaker 2: his sexual history. That seems like a double standard.
Speaker 1: It is, and I'm it's just is. So there's a
Speaker 1: lot of double standards against women. One, you can't be
Speaker 1: a whole You're gonna get judged for it, right, that's
Speaker 1: a double standard that we live with. There's a lot
Speaker 1: of things that men do that we just simply can't
Speaker 1: do without judging getting some type of public shame and
Speaker 1: judgment about it. Right. And to me, bisexual men, there's
Speaker 1: no such thing. You're a gay man. I don't believe
Speaker 1: that there's such thing as bisexual men. What you're just gay?
Speaker 1: You're just gay. And I need to know that you
Speaker 1: have had sex with a man, because it's a different
Speaker 1: type of mindset, like I don't want to deal with.
Speaker 1: It just comes with other things, not just the sexual thing.
Speaker 1: It's just the whole the way they think. Like this
Speaker 1: man arguing me down about not he doesn't feel like
Speaker 1: you should have to tell a woman that you've been
Speaker 1: with a man before you. I feel like you have
Speaker 1: to because if I ask you a question and you
Speaker 1: tell me a lie, now you're being deceitful. Right, Why
Speaker 1: are you being deceitful? Why do you feel like you
Speaker 1: need to withhold that information? Because there's a reason.
Speaker 2: The reason is because, especially I think in the black community,
Speaker 2: why a man would want to withhold their information is
Speaker 2: because black women don't accept you back. Once you go gay,
Speaker 2: once you have a sexual experience with same sex as
Speaker 2: a black man, it's hard to come back to women.
Speaker 1: That's not true that there's a lot of women out here.
Speaker 1: Like listen, during the pandemic, I was on a clubhouse
Speaker 1: heavy It was so many women on there. Like in
Speaker 1: these conversations who said they prefer bisexual women, so many
Speaker 1: prefer a lot yes, in conversation out of the years,
Speaker 1: like there are women out here that you could be
Speaker 1: your self with.
Speaker 2: I agree, but I but I you know, just based
Speaker 2: on my experience, maybe it's in my age group, they're
Speaker 2: not as open to bisexual men like, once you go
Speaker 2: you know, same sex, it's hard to come back to women.
Speaker 2: They I won't accept you back me personally, I'm not.
Speaker 2: And that's just my preference because I already told you
Speaker 2: I can't deal with like you going on a boy's trip.
Speaker 2: The fuck you going on a boys trip for a
Speaker 2: motherfucker like I can't. I don't have time for that.
Speaker 1: See and look, that's another double standard. And men like
Speaker 1: to talk about us. Oh, y'all go on girls trips
Speaker 1: and y'all be eating each other a's KOUCHI that is
Speaker 1: not happening on girls trips, okay amongst the friend group.
Speaker 1: Oh you Busty knows what shit. I don't know, because
Speaker 1: I'm never eating kouchie in the first place. I'm definitely
Speaker 1: not eating my homegirl Cucci. So you need to tell me.
Speaker 1: Bitches be over it. Y'all. Niggas might got some validity
Speaker 1: with this the way tam just look, I don't know,
Speaker 1: I don't always, I don't know.
Speaker 2: I don't know anything about we're saints. I never ate
Speaker 2: no Kouchie on no girl's trip, So.
Speaker 1: That's what I'm saying. So I mean maybe somebody like
Speaker 1: somebody on the island, some other woman outside the friend
Speaker 1: group by the eight a friend's kucci. But I had
Speaker 1: the homegirls that's hanging out, going on a girl's trip
Speaker 1: and somebody's eating each like what.
Speaker 2: I mean, I've never done that, but I've seen it happen.
Speaker 2: You know how they say who Richard Pryor and who
Speaker 2: had six? It was drugs? They ah, Marlon Brando or
Speaker 2: something like that. Yes, mm hmm, it was you know,
Speaker 2: drugs alcoholic and those are men, That's what I'm saying.
Speaker 2: So when my man keeps wanting to go on these
Speaker 2: guide trips and I can't go ever, you just have
Speaker 2: this one homeboy, you do you remember that online?
Speaker 1: It was like a post. It was a guy that
Speaker 1: it was a woman saying that. You know, she's asking
Speaker 1: for other people's opinion because her boyfriend or husband you know,
Speaker 1: was going on his little annual boy strip with his
Speaker 1: homeboy and she demanded to go this go around. He
Speaker 1: had his wife sitting in coach while him and his
Speaker 1: homeboy was in first class.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, So why because he didn't want her
Speaker 2: to be there.
Speaker 1: He didn't want her to be there like this is
Speaker 1: his Like that's the red flag for me.
Speaker 2: Well, why should Demanda go? Why should demand of going?
Speaker 1: Honestly, because she probably felt she probably it's just him
Speaker 1: and it's one other person. It's not like it's multiple
Speaker 1: people on his boys strip. It's just her guy and
Speaker 1: his homeboy.
Speaker 2: But it's like, what if me and my best friend
Speaker 2: want to go to a nice spot in Arizona or
Speaker 2: something like that on the SPA trip and my man.
Speaker 1: She already had reservations about him.
Speaker 2: Okay, she has some sexual why she was.
Speaker 1: Pushing the issue. Yeah, I mean she already felt like
Speaker 1: he was on some little creepy shit.
Speaker 2: But just a vacation, Just a vacation.
Speaker 1: Yes, and you are not invited, wifey, you stay at
Speaker 1: home with the churn. But he put his wife in
Speaker 1: coach child, and he was in first class with his
Speaker 1: his nigga.
Speaker 2: I mean, that happens. It happens.
Speaker 1: I just I'm not signing up for anything like that. Like,
Speaker 1: I can deal with a man wanting a woman or
Speaker 1: cheating with women, but how do you compete when your
Speaker 1: man is cheating with men? Like you can try to
Speaker 1: do all the things, like you might try to introduce
Speaker 1: anal sex. You know what I'm saying. Maybe he likes it.
Speaker 1: Maybe he's like, could you imagine your man being the bottom,
Speaker 1: dough dog, This is your husband and he's the bottom,
Speaker 1: and that that's a whole nother level. Yeah, he's the
Speaker 1: bottom for other men.
Speaker 2: That's the thing. I You know, that would make me
Speaker 2: a man because now you like me, If you're taking
Speaker 2: dick like me, then now i'm you know, And I
Speaker 2: don't want to offend anybody with that statement, because it's like,
Speaker 2: I'm not a man if I take dick. I'm not
Speaker 2: saying you're not a man if you take dick.
Speaker 1: I'm not saying that. I'm just saying we both take dick.
Speaker 2: So now I feel like me and you on a
Speaker 2: more level playing field. You know what I'm saying? Is
Speaker 2: that fair? Just I would emsculate him, I would.
Speaker 1: I mean, it just depends on his demeanor, Like even
Speaker 1: though he takes dick, he is not a masculine man.
Speaker 2: If I find out my nigga took some dick. As
Speaker 2: soon as we get into.
Speaker 1: An argument, I thought you was working on that using
Speaker 1: vulnerabilities against people.
Speaker 2: Listen, that's just one of them. That's just gonna I'm
Speaker 2: a like if I ever had that, that's an easy one,
Speaker 2: right there for the take. It, it's right there for
Speaker 2: the taking. I'm sorry that's fucked up, but it's true.
Speaker 2: I'm being honest. So I couldn't do it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Yeah, and I would want I need a woman on,
Speaker 1: Like I actually put a little kite out there to
Speaker 1: see if anybody would bite to actually be able to
Speaker 1: come on the show to talk about their their situation
Speaker 1: and talk about you know, were you ever in a
Speaker 1: relationship with a guy and he came out bisexual, or
Speaker 1: did you knowingly engage in a relationship with somebody who
Speaker 1: was honest and upfront with you about their sexuality and
Speaker 1: you you know, maybe it was a great relationship, maybe
Speaker 1: with other things that caused y'all not to be together anymore.
Speaker 2: Or maybe they're still together, or you couldn't.
Speaker 1: Actively be in it. Yeah, because I don't want I
Speaker 1: don't believe that these people can't carry on healthy relationship,
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying, because we already know it's
Speaker 1: a lot of heterosexual men with much I don't call
Speaker 1: it mental illness, but a whole lot of gangshit be
Speaker 1: going on their damn minds, all right. But I feel
Speaker 1: like some of those men who act out on women,
Speaker 1: maybe battling their sexuality. I feel like men who put
Speaker 1: their hands on women are sometimes they just they like,
Speaker 1: you know, pussy. They like sex with women, but they
Speaker 1: don't necessarily like women, and they probably like prefer their homeboy.
Speaker 2: Well that's the thing. That's what I was saying to
Speaker 2: you yesterday, is like if vagina wasn't wet, I probably
Speaker 2: would be a lesbian, Like because I trust the counsel
Speaker 2: of women more. I feel safer with women. I feel
Speaker 2: like my vulnerabilities are more safe with women as of
Speaker 2: Like I just I haven't really met a lot of
Speaker 2: men that I could trust with my vulnerable self to
Speaker 2: care for my heart. Yeah, I don't feel like I
Speaker 2: meet a lot of men that I can do that with.
Speaker 2: Where I just feel safer around women, which is is
Speaker 2: crazy because I should feel safeer around men, right, But
Speaker 2: I just do.
Speaker 1: But I just don't like titties.
Speaker 2: Flapping all over the place and kuchie all went and stuff.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 1: That's why I'm like, listen, I know I can't be
Speaker 1: a lesbian because I don't like nothing moist. I don't
Speaker 1: like nothing like OUI gooky, like it's an oyster. I
Speaker 1: like oysters you know, I eat a whole bushel of them,
Speaker 1: but I don't, that's what and weave between my legs
Speaker 1: like I'm cool on that ship. It's just it's just
Speaker 1: too much. And you know another thing, I don't know
Speaker 1: a gay couple that doesn't fight. I'm talking about two
Speaker 1: women because they it's very volatile period up and yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: like so I don't.
Speaker 2: And then I'm work with a bitch than I am,
Speaker 2: you know, a nigga.
Speaker 1: And I feel like if a man pissed you off,
Speaker 1: at least he can drop that dick on you, Okay,
Speaker 1: at least he can like make you feel better that way.
Speaker 1: Now this girl got to go get this goddamn plastic
Speaker 1: bullshit that's bending in and it's like it's some woman
Speaker 1: love that. How fun dick looked on here? That dick
Speaker 1: she pulled out, that black aude at it. That dick
Speaker 1: was from Filo, That dick came from.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that cheap ass dick on head girl, If you're
Speaker 3: gonna put that dick up, not a paper mache that
Speaker 3: did came out the discount basket at the x X
Speaker 3: sex Story.
Speaker 1: Nothing appealing about that dick. I don't want it at
Speaker 1: least you can get a nice warm penis after this
Speaker 1: man pissed you off. Meanwhile, you're in the house with
Speaker 1: this bitch. Y'all periods, Sun SYNCD up you mad about now?
Speaker 1: Y'all fighting? Now DV charge is involved. Like that's what.
Speaker 1: I don't know A couple that doesn't fight.
Speaker 2: A gay couple that doesn't fight.
Speaker 1: Yeah, the the women that I know, they be going
Speaker 1: at it.
Speaker 2: My sister, my older sister, is in a lesbian Mary
Speaker 2: and they are like two little peas in the pot.
Speaker 2: They ain't always been like that, though, but now it's
Speaker 2: sickening how much they like each other. You FaceTime and
Speaker 2: stay in there singing Whitney Houston together. I'm like, y'all,
Speaker 2: bitch is wag, I'm about to go?
Speaker 1: Is that?
Speaker 2: Why? Is that why you want a girlfriend? I don't
Speaker 2: want a girlfriend. I'm just saying, like, I just have
Speaker 2: better relationships with women, but not I wouldn't want to
Speaker 2: have an intimate relationship with a woman for real.
Speaker 1: Yeah, because just yeah, because men, men are traumatizing. I
Speaker 1: have been traumatized in every relationship I've been in. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't have one relationship where I didn't.
Speaker 1: It didn't change me, not for the better, you know
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. Yeah, partially, you know you do, you know,
Speaker 1: do things a little bit differently, But I do move
Speaker 1: on to the next situation. Like I've never been hurt before.
Speaker 1: I don't let it like hinder me. But it really
Speaker 1: be some internal shit you gotta work out.
Speaker 2: That's what about to say, Like some of the shit
Speaker 2: you just carry you unknowingly, you know, like you carry
Speaker 2: it with you and it affects how you well. Speaking
Speaker 2: for me, it affects how I navigate in the next
Speaker 2: relationship some of the things. So I do take it
Speaker 2: with me sometime and hopefully, I mean, I've been single
Speaker 2: for a minute now, so we'll see how this next
Speaker 2: thing go. I think I'll be a lot better with
Speaker 2: you know, I can be real spicy with my tongue,
Speaker 2: but I've been trying to work on how I deliver
Speaker 2: my assault rifle.
Speaker 1: You just gotta get it. You just gotta get a
Speaker 1: son of a bitch girl and they'll be okay with
Speaker 1: your tongue.
Speaker 2: No, I don't want that by saying, because you get
Speaker 2: a son of a bitch, she was okay with a
Speaker 2: tongue being spicy. His tongue might be spicy too, and
Speaker 2: then we have kids and he telling our daughter good
Speaker 2: down on your knees.
Speaker 1: Oh shut up, I don't want no.
Speaker 2: Man who's okay with that?
Speaker 1: Yeah he's wild. Well, so I found this article on
Speaker 1: very well Mind, verywellmind dot com on relationships. It says
Speaker 1: how do you cope when your spouse comes out as gay?
Speaker 1: So even on this website, they're not calling it bisexual,
Speaker 1: They're just like he's gay. Right. It starts off by
Speaker 1: saying people change. I don't think that's true. I think
Speaker 1: in this particular situation, you already knew, you know, you
Speaker 1: just didn't let it come out right. So I don't
Speaker 1: think you could be forty years old and then just
Speaker 1: change to gay or bisexual. This is something you probably
Speaker 1: always wanted to experience, you probably had been experiencing. But
Speaker 1: if you didn't experience it, you are doing it now, right,
Speaker 1: So whatever, I don't think it was a change. Though
Speaker 1: it says people.
Speaker 2: Change, it's definitely a change.
Speaker 1: If you it is a change already. That's a change
Speaker 1: to me, Yo, big change. People take longer to find themselves.
Speaker 1: Life will always throw you curveballs you never saw coming.
Speaker 1: Finding out your partner is gay or queer is one
Speaker 1: of those complicated situations that are both positive on certain
Speaker 1: levels and devastating on others. It's a lot to unpack.
Speaker 1: It says you may have had suspicions your partner was
Speaker 1: somewhere on the Kinsey scale. I haven't looked that up
Speaker 1: to see what a Kinsey scale is. It's probably like
Speaker 1: the different sexual orientations. I guess it was. It says
Speaker 1: right exactly said, lots of people are bisexual or by
Speaker 1: curious and heterosexual relationships, and these relationships are so strong
Speaker 1: lots of people. It's not until your partner tells you
Speaker 1: directly that they are gay, as in they've realized that
Speaker 1: they are more attracted to the same sex than the
Speaker 1: opposite sex, that you may be facing a significant challenge. Okay,
Speaker 1: so this is more talking. This is more so talking
Speaker 1: like okay to a married and a woman is a
Speaker 1: woman and man are married and the man says, hey,
Speaker 1: I'm gay, Like, yeah, I'm with you, but I actually
Speaker 1: prefer men.
Speaker 2: What do you don't know?
Speaker 1: What would you?
Speaker 2: I don't know what to do with that? How did
Speaker 2: we get here?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Like what happened? Like? Were you being gay?
Speaker 2: Tod? It's kind of like, uh, the Kardashian what's her name?
Speaker 1: Oh, Chris Jenner?
Speaker 2: Chris, Yeah, I mean, well, but he not gay because
Speaker 2: he don't like men.
Speaker 1: No, he's definitely gay. Yes, the guy, the excuse me,
Speaker 1: the girl he was dating was a trans woman. It
Speaker 1: was a young he was dating. Excuse me, say what
Speaker 1: Caitlyn Jenner was dating a trans woman, which is technically like, yeah,
Speaker 1: genetically a male. Yes.
Speaker 2: Really, I thought he only dated women. No, I mean
Speaker 2: she Excuse me, I thought, baby, this would be hard.
Speaker 2: It's the whole I thought it. Okay, Formerly Bruce Caitlyn
Speaker 2: dated women, so making her lesbian.
Speaker 1: Bruce used to date women.
Speaker 2: I thought Caitly men too.
Speaker 1: No, Caitlyn was dating and you might have thought it
Speaker 1: was a woman, but it was a trans woman. Oh okay. Yeah.
Speaker 1: So the next part is the article says on finding
Speaker 1: out your partner is gay, unless your spouse shares your
Speaker 1: sexual orientation with you, there's no way to know for
Speaker 1: sure if they are gay or queer. So call signs
Speaker 1: like how your spouse talks, walks, dresses, or likes are
Speaker 1: not indications of sexual orientation, nor are sexual preferences including
Speaker 1: oil and anal sex. Rather than making assumptions. The best
Speaker 1: way to know for sure is to have an open
Speaker 1: dialogue with your spouse. You'd never want to directly out
Speaker 1: your partner, It's okay to bring up observations you've had
Speaker 1: about them while emphasizing your love and support for them
Speaker 1: no matter what they say. If your partner isn't ready
Speaker 1: to talk about it, accept that truth. They will come
Speaker 1: out to you whenever the time is right. This experience
Speaker 1: is just hard for them, if not more as it
Speaker 1: is for you.
Speaker 2: I yeah, that's got to be hard to tell someone,
Speaker 2: especially if you're in a heterosexual relationship and then you
Speaker 2: come out and say, hey, I don't want to be
Speaker 2: heterosexual anymore. It's got to be hard, and you know,
Speaker 2: I'm honestly quite brave to do that if you live
Speaker 2: a heterosexual lifestyle forever, especially for a man. I think
Speaker 2: for women it's a lot easier because.
Speaker 1: Yeah, like that's the standard.
Speaker 2: Right, Yeah, because if you tell your husband like more acceptable,
Speaker 2: guess what, baby think I was so pissy? What do
Speaker 2: you think he be?
Speaker 3: Like?
Speaker 4: Shit, me too babulous, you know, but not so much
Speaker 4: to do it the other way around, Whereas if some
Speaker 4: men not okay with that shit either, like they're not
Speaker 4: okay with their girls sleeping with women all the time
Speaker 4: without them, with or without them.
Speaker 2: Like everybody not okay with that situation, right, But I
Speaker 2: feel like it's more okay. It would be in the opposite.
Speaker 1: Right, and in my fear would be like, you're in
Speaker 1: a relationship with this bisexual man, like who was honest upfront,
Speaker 1: told you you get into the thing, and then he
Speaker 1: he tells you he wants a man. He then is
Speaker 1: honest with you again, right and says it says, you know,
Speaker 1: I want a man for a little bit. What do
Speaker 1: you do?
Speaker 2: I mean, if you was down with it from the beginning,
Speaker 2: I don't see why you.
Speaker 1: No, because you're not actively doing a thing, you know
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. You just let me know that you
Speaker 1: have done the thing before it Well, okay, I guess
Speaker 1: that's actively.
Speaker 2: I mean, if you're not okay with him being with
Speaker 2: anybody outside of you, then okay. But if you're okay
Speaker 2: with him like fucking a woman but not a man, well,
Speaker 2: why'd you get with a bisexual man in the first place?
Speaker 2: If you were only okay with him having sex with
Speaker 2: a woman. You see what I'm saying, Like that don't
Speaker 2: make sense.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yes, wow. The article says, while while the following
Speaker 1: signs may relate to your spouse's sexual orientation, they can
Speaker 1: also be attributed to other problems in their life or
Speaker 1: your marriage. You notice your spouse has lost interest in
Speaker 1: sex or has trouble engaging in sex. Do you think
Speaker 1: that's a that's a sign. I mean, that could be
Speaker 1: a sign of cheating. It may not be a sign
Speaker 1: that he's dealing with men, right, he might.
Speaker 2: I mean, did you get fat? Did you get skinny?
Speaker 2: Like somethingbody to change where he's just not said.
Speaker 1: Y'all got y'all ain't got no money for the bills
Speaker 1: like men stress about that type of shit too. I
Speaker 1: don't want to have sex.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I agree.
Speaker 1: You notice your spouse has a sense of confusion about themselves.
Speaker 1: I wonder what that looks like.
Speaker 2: I don't know, like niggas trying to grow braids or
Speaker 2: something out of nowhere, Like I don't know.
Speaker 1: What a man weave.
Speaker 2: I'm not against the man we'ves because some of these
Speaker 2: niggas be.
Speaker 1: You should be looking good, Yeah.
Speaker 2: As long as you keep it up and it ain't
Speaker 2: flapping off in the wind.
Speaker 1: And don't be asking me to do it.
Speaker 2: No, I'll tack your ship back down if it's coming up.
Speaker 2: We got somewhere to be.
Speaker 1: No, this is a big giant red flag. And I
Speaker 1: actually have went in a nigga phone to see if
Speaker 1: I see anything like that. Yes, you know thisice pops
Speaker 1: pop ups of gay pornography or dating sites on their devices.
Speaker 1: I've looked. I've looked through somebody's porn hub history before.
Speaker 2: Have you I stay out of nigga's phones. I just
Speaker 2: I don't ruin my own good day. I never.
Speaker 1: I mean, I I don't either. But what I'm saying
Speaker 1: is I have. And the thing is I am capable
Speaker 1: of going through a nigga phone and never telling them.
Speaker 1: Men can't. They can't go through your shit and not
Speaker 1: address what they see. I can go through a man's
Speaker 1: phone and never mention this not me because I am
Speaker 1: choosing to be happy.
Speaker 2: Me choosing to be happy is not going through that ship,
Speaker 2: because if I go through it and I see something,
Speaker 2: it's gonna show on my face. Even if I don't
Speaker 2: say nothing like damn, what's wrong with you?
Speaker 1: Nothing? It's over. It's over.
Speaker 2: I'm just gonna I'm gonna turn up at some point.
Speaker 2: So I just don't even look Stevie.
Speaker 1: You know what I do. I turn up when you
Speaker 1: turn up on me. I saved my ship for those days,
Speaker 1: and that is toxic. Yeah, they're nothing.
Speaker 2: Yes, it is my two pulling out us a joker cart.
Speaker 1: And I took pictures of the ship. I got a
Speaker 1: whole fucking folded for your ass. Okay, from ship from
Speaker 1: your phone while you're trying to address some shit I did.
Speaker 2: I'm saying something.
Speaker 1: Here's another one. You notice a new group of friends
Speaker 1: on their social media, many of whom are openly gay
Speaker 1: or queer. Now I have definitely there is some guys
Speaker 1: I know, and I've looked in there, like why are
Speaker 1: you all these gay dudes following you? These are clearly
Speaker 1: gay men, like they having spitos and shit like that
Speaker 1: on on their page. Always got muscle, Always take a
Speaker 1: pictures from the back, you know what I'm saying, Like
Speaker 1: these are why why are you following these people?
Speaker 2: If they're following Like, if someone's following you, you can't
Speaker 2: really control. And I wouldn't say like, oh, especially if
Speaker 2: my man is like popular or in some sort like
Speaker 2: entertainer or something like that, and he got gay men
Speaker 2: following them, I can't. I wouldn't be mad at that.
Speaker 2: But if he's following a lot of gay men in return,
Speaker 2: that ain't like friends that he grew up with or someone,
Speaker 2: because I mean, you can't fast your nigga for like
Speaker 2: growing his cousin gay. This is his first cousin, right,
Speaker 2: you know, like.
Speaker 1: What he's gonna do, right, they grew up together.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's that's my that's my guy, you know, either way,
Speaker 2: But yeah, following a bunch of new gay people gay men,
Speaker 2: it's wild. It's interesting.
Speaker 1: So do mixed orientation relationships work? Mixed orientation couples are
Speaker 1: those in which the partners do not share the same
Speaker 1: sexual orientation. Examples of mixed orientation couples include partnerships in
Speaker 1: which one partner is straight and the others not, but
Speaker 1: could also include relationships in which one partner identifies as
Speaker 1: a lesbian and the other identifies as bisexual. For example,
Speaker 1: according to one study, there are up to two million
Speaker 1: couples in which one member identifies as straight and the
Speaker 1: other does not. Among these couples, when a gay or
Speaker 1: lesbian or bisexual partner comes out, a third of the
Speaker 1: couples break up. Immediately. Yeah, that would be me. I'm
Speaker 1: out of there. Another third stay together for one to
Speaker 1: two years and then split. The remaining third try to
Speaker 1: make their marriages work. Of these, half of these half
Speaker 1: split up while the other halfs stay together for three
Speaker 1: or more years, so they try to work it out.
Speaker 1: I just think that that is not something I think
Speaker 1: that can be worked out. I think ultimately, people in
Speaker 1: their relationships like you, Chris, Chris, Chris Jenner and Caitlin
Speaker 1: like they are still friends. They're still friends. They like
Speaker 1: I can't compete with that, and that's that's all I
Speaker 1: could be with you is your friend that.
Speaker 2: I'm trying to think Actually, let's say being Let's say
Speaker 2: I get with someone tomorrow and here I am fifty
Speaker 2: four now and he says, hey, I love you. I
Speaker 2: don't want us to split up, but I have this
Speaker 2: desire that I've never acted on, and we're getting older
Speaker 2: and I just want to experience this. And he's done
Speaker 2: all the things that he's loved me. Fully, would I
Speaker 2: be able to just walk away because he wanted to
Speaker 2: experience a man? Yes? I would. I thought about it
Speaker 2: for a second. Yes I would, Yes, I would. And
Speaker 2: I don't want like, I just listened to myself, and
Speaker 2: I know I don't want any gay men or bisexual
Speaker 2: men to be offended by what I'm saying, because it's
Speaker 2: not a hatred, and we're allowed to have preference, and
Speaker 2: it's not a judgment on anything y'all do. It's just
Speaker 2: my preference on what I desire for my partner, and
Speaker 2: I just don't want my partner to also enjoy dick.
Speaker 2: That wrong, Absolutely not.
Speaker 1: And I feel like if people would, you know, work
Speaker 1: on themselves first before they get into relationships anyway, you know,
Speaker 1: and you can come in the situation as your whole
Speaker 1: self and give people all information upfront so they know
Speaker 1: what they're dealing with, Like, give me the opportunity to
Speaker 1: determine whether or not, you know, after I got all information, right,
Speaker 1: I can make a sound decision based on this information.
Speaker 1: But do not put my life in your hand.
Speaker 2: What if you get with a nigga who don't want
Speaker 2: to fuck with men, but he wants you to do
Speaker 2: some seemingly homosexual things to him, like pagan or something
Speaker 2: like that.
Speaker 1: Some women like pagan men. I don't want a man
Speaker 1: who likes getting pegged. I'm sorry, I'm not that but
Speaker 1: that's not a kink of mine. Listen. I have definitely
Speaker 1: put a finger in a couple butts, but if a
Speaker 1: man actually wants me to strap up, I don't feel
Speaker 1: comfortable doing that to him. I don't. And you know
Speaker 1: I say this a lot, but I think there's a
Speaker 1: lot more men that are gay in the mind than
Speaker 1: have actually had sex with a man. Like they think
Speaker 1: about it often, but they may never ever act on it.
Speaker 1: Do you consider that I don't. I mean, you can't
Speaker 1: consider them gay right because they've never actually engaged in
Speaker 1: the act of But those could be the people that,
Speaker 1: you know, fifty years old come out like, man, I
Speaker 1: want to do it now.
Speaker 2: What was that show, It's Black Mirror where they had
Speaker 2: the episode of the two Homeboys. They had that virtual
Speaker 2: reality game and they.
Speaker 1: But it still was a woman in there. And remember
Speaker 1: on the one scene they kiss to see if something
Speaker 1: like the two actual men in reality kiss.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And it was like right, and that ain't it?
Speaker 2: They only wanted to have virtual Well.
Speaker 1: One of them was like mm mmm, that ain't it.
Speaker 2: I feel like both of them didn't really like each other.
Speaker 1: The married guy was like that ain't it. The other guy,
Speaker 1: I think he liked him in real life like two men,
Speaker 1: because remember the the married guy was the male in
Speaker 1: the virtual reality, his homeboy was the female. That's how
Speaker 1: the whole shit started.
Speaker 2: But they were having like the most the best, most
Speaker 2: passionate experience virtually and in real life.
Speaker 1: That's just.
Speaker 2: And she let him do it once a year, like
Speaker 2: and it was over like his birthday. He could log
Speaker 2: into the game and knock his homeboy down.
Speaker 1: So all year long, you just waiting for this, this
Speaker 1: is your moment. And she boyfriend didn't have nobody, I mean,
Speaker 1: the homeboy didn't happen.
Speaker 2: And then she got to go out and sheet on
Speaker 2: him though, like did she Yeah, she got to go
Speaker 2: out and get real dick. So that was the trade off.
Speaker 2: I didn't know that that was the trade off.
Speaker 1: I didn't I miss that part.
Speaker 2: That was the trade off. Which one is worse though,
Speaker 2: because he's not even really sexually experiencing anybody. It's just
Speaker 2: like a simulation where she really going to get knocked down,
Speaker 2: which one is Uh.
Speaker 1: I think that the virtual it's just it's that's really mental.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's really mental.
Speaker 1: Like, yes, the dick live dick is is physical.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel like you can't catch I ain't never
Speaker 2: heard of AI std.
Speaker 1: AI baby. It's a disease of the mind.
Speaker 2: That's why it ain't no AI babies out there.
Speaker 1: So there is ye'all all right, So we're about to
Speaker 1: wrap this up. But this last little piece, it says
Speaker 1: things to do and not to do, like, if you
Speaker 1: find out your spouse or significant other wants to dave okay, uh,
Speaker 1: decide what what what you both can and cannot live with.
Speaker 1: I can't live with it. Accept that it takes both
Speaker 1: of you to make a marriage just as do Just
Speaker 1: as any situation where there is possible infidelity, get checked
Speaker 1: immediately for sexually transmitted infections, rather or not your partner
Speaker 1: admits to any sexual infidelity. Take care of yourself as
Speaker 1: you go through the grieving process. Your relationship has changed,
Speaker 1: try to accept the reality and move forward. And the
Speaker 1: last one says, do be careful about how you tell
Speaker 1: your children. You may need professional guidance to deal with this.
Speaker 1: It's important for them to love, for them to feel
Speaker 1: loved and secure, and to know they're not responsible for
Speaker 1: the state of the marriage or relationship. And then it says,
Speaker 1: don't isolate yourself, seek support or professional help. Don't assume
Speaker 1: that your marriage is over. Some straight slash gay marriages
Speaker 1: are happy unions. However, studies show that out of fifteen
Speaker 1: percent of couples who try to make it work, only
Speaker 1: about seven percent make it over the long term. Yourself
Speaker 1: for turning your partner gay. No one can turn someone
Speaker 1: else gay, and I think men blame that. I just
Speaker 1: can't hear a man saying it's your you the reason
Speaker 1: why I'm gay. I can hear that happening because even
Speaker 1: when they dick stop working, they want to blame us, like, oh,
Speaker 1: you're not arousing me no more. No, accept the fact
Speaker 1: that you might possibly have ed and go get the help.
Speaker 1: Don't blame your woman for the penis not working anymore,
Speaker 1: like you're just not attracted to her anymore. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: know that this has happened to really girl. Depending on
Speaker 1: what type of person you're dealing with, nothing is ever.
Speaker 2: Their fault, even they did nothing.
Speaker 1: Exactly. Oh, it's your fault. I'm just not attracted to you.
Speaker 2: No, you have ed, like, but maybe if it's getting
Speaker 2: up with somebody else, then it might not. It might
Speaker 2: be an issue between the twos. Well, it could be
Speaker 2: very possible.
Speaker 1: Anyway, you got a last last for this child.
Speaker 2: Listen, if y'all don't want never mind, I just ain't
Speaker 2: got time for the hate mail. I just ain't got
Speaker 2: time for the hate mail. My last last is love
Speaker 2: who you love. Love is a beautiful thing, and love
Speaker 2: who you live. No, I ain't got time for that ship. Listen,
Speaker 2: people be rinking me over the colds after I say something.
Speaker 2: So I just love who you love. Used to love
Speaker 2: who you love. Goddamn, I'm used to it.
Speaker 1: So my last last would be not love who you love,
Speaker 1: be yourself. So who is gonna love? You can find you.
Speaker 1: There are women out here who are okay with bisexual men.
Speaker 1: You see Kendrick g. She does her little dating show
Speaker 1: on Instagram, And there's a lot of enough, specifically from
Speaker 1: Atlanta in in DC area. There are a lot of
Speaker 1: men who be honest, like I'm looking for a man
Speaker 1: or a woman like I do both, or I used
Speaker 1: to be with men and now I'm looking for a
Speaker 1: woman now. My only thing is, don't come over here
Speaker 1: trying to trauma dump the shit you've had going on
Speaker 1: with these men into my womb, Like I got a
Speaker 1: problem with that.
Speaker 2: So basically, you saying love yourself and love who you love.
Speaker 1: Yeah, love yourself, so no, love yourself so you can
Speaker 1: be loved, is what I'm saying. So somebody can love
Speaker 1: you holy exactly who you are. You gotta be honest
Speaker 1: with yourself first. Don't come over here with that bullshit
Speaker 1: and let me choose. Let the women choose, let the
Speaker 1: men choose what they want to deal with. That's all,
Speaker 1: you know. I just be honest with yourself. Yeah, find
Speaker 1: some do some soul searching, and find some self awareness
Speaker 1: before you start engaging with other human beings on any
Speaker 1: level and any type of relationship and any sexual orientation. Right,
Speaker 1: and if you love dick, figure out.
Speaker 2: I don't care Tam love you anyway.
Speaker 1: I don't not love people. I mean, but they it's
Speaker 1: not like my it's not my job. You need to
Speaker 1: love yourself.
Speaker 2: I love people, Okay.
Speaker 1: Me telling you I love you every day is knock
Speaker 1: on to make you love yourself.
Speaker 2: No, but some people don't hear it from nobody else,
Speaker 2: so they get to hear from me if they listen
Speaker 2: every week. That's how I feel like.
Speaker 1: Yeah that yeah baby? All right, y'all listen if you
Speaker 1: enjoyed this episode, y'all Tune in every Thursday on the
Speaker 1: Black Effect podcast, iHeartRadio app, wherever the fuck you get
Speaker 1: your podcasts at. This is your co host, A J.
Speaker 1: Holiday twin Oh. On Instagrams kick a Tam.
Speaker 2: You ain't say follow me now. If you want to
Speaker 2: get on you always say that Yeah that part too.
Speaker 2: Y'all's official on Instagram, I Love y'all. Remember to speak
Speaker 2: now and never.
Speaker 1: Hold you what hold your sexual or never holding This
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