WEBVTT - Your Will w/ Lee Vasi 0:00:00.520 --> 0:00:03.600 Calling all my sweeties to the forefronts. I'm your host, 0:00:03.680 --> 0:00:06.480 Christophinee and Hazel and this is the Keep It Positive 0:00:06.519 --> 0:00:11.119 Sweetie Show. Welcome to another episode of The Keep It 0:00:11.160 --> 0:00:14.280 Positive Sweeties Show, a safe space where we heal, love 0:00:14.360 --> 0:00:17.439 and grow together. I'm your host Christophinee Hazel, and I'm 0:00:17.480 --> 0:00:20.560 super excited about this episode because I get to talk 0:00:20.600 --> 0:00:23.800 to one of my new favorite people, Lee Vassie. Lee 0:00:23.960 --> 0:00:27.000 is a triple threat singer, songwriter, and actress who is 0:00:27.040 --> 0:00:30.240 shattering genre barriers with her unique blend of Christian and 0:00:30.320 --> 0:00:34.600 R and B music. The incredibly talented singer songwriter actress 0:00:34.640 --> 0:00:38.680 Lee Vassi hails from Faetteville, North Carolina, beginning her career 0:00:38.680 --> 0:00:41.519 in entertainment at the age of nine years old on 0:00:41.640 --> 0:00:45.400 Broadway as Young Nalla and the Lion King. Lee has 0:00:45.440 --> 0:00:48.960 since released multiple singles, making her one of Christian music's 0:00:49.159 --> 0:00:53.239 most exciting new stars, and Amazon Music naming her as 0:00:53.280 --> 0:00:56.760 the twenty twenty five Artists to Watch Guys. I am 0:00:56.800 --> 0:01:01.080 so excited she's here. Welcome Lee, Thank you so much 0:01:01.080 --> 0:01:01.520 for coming. 0:01:01.800 --> 0:01:02.920 Thank you for having you. 0:01:02.960 --> 0:01:04.920 Look beautiful. 0:01:05.280 --> 0:01:07.200 I feel great. How you feeling, I'm good? 0:01:07.480 --> 0:01:09.800 I'm good. Yeah. It has been a long week. We 0:01:09.840 --> 0:01:12.759 just finished your fashion week? Yes, that was my first one. 0:01:12.760 --> 0:01:13.360 Was that your first one? 0:01:13.400 --> 0:01:14.240 Yeah, it was my first one. 0:01:14.360 --> 0:01:19.040 Girl. When I say exhausting, girl's not built that. 0:01:19.440 --> 0:01:20.680 I got to get back at there. You know what 0:01:20.720 --> 0:01:21.119 I'm saying. 0:01:21.480 --> 0:01:23.120 We really had to, like, like the same way you 0:01:23.160 --> 0:01:24.560 get ready for tour. I feel like you had to 0:01:24.600 --> 0:01:26.640 be prepared for fashion because it is a marathon. 0:01:26.720 --> 0:01:26.880 Yeah. 0:01:26.920 --> 0:01:29.600 Yeah, yeah, it's a whole production. Rachel. I loved it. 0:01:29.720 --> 0:01:31.160 How was your first experience? 0:01:31.680 --> 0:01:33.800 You know it was it was full of surprises. I 0:01:33.800 --> 0:01:37.080 had no expectations, but it was great. I got to 0:01:37.120 --> 0:01:40.680 meet people like you and it was awesome. I'll definitely 0:01:40.680 --> 0:01:41.840 do it again, is yours? 0:01:42.040 --> 0:01:44.080 It was amazing. But the first day we got there, 0:01:44.800 --> 0:01:47.840 Delta lost my luggage. So yes, all my day one 0:01:47.880 --> 0:01:50.480 looks were left in Atlanta. No, yes, you should have 0:01:50.480 --> 0:01:52.960 seen this girl. We were literally a shan and I 0:01:53.040 --> 0:01:55.720 we landed and the guy came out and he's like, yeah, 0:01:55.720 --> 0:01:57.560 I'm only seeing six bags and we were like, well 0:01:57.560 --> 0:02:01.720 there was definitely seven. And so as we're we like, 0:02:01.840 --> 0:02:04.480 we we're running close on time cause I had press 0:02:04.600 --> 0:02:08.120 here in Atlanta for BT, so I hot on a 0:02:08.160 --> 0:02:10.799 plane on had like maybe three hours before Sergio Hudson's show. 0:02:11.400 --> 0:02:12.679 Got in the car. I was like, we s we 0:02:12.720 --> 0:02:15.000 have to head towards the hotel. So I I'm literally 0:02:15.040 --> 0:02:17.679 in the back of on top of suitcases, unzipping to 0:02:17.720 --> 0:02:19.560 see what made it cause I didn't know what my 0:02:19.600 --> 0:02:23.040 silence or my assistant Herman had put into each suitcase, 0:02:23.440 --> 0:02:25.440 and I was like, it's not in here. We opened it, 0:02:25.480 --> 0:02:26.640 I was like, it's not in here. I was like, 0:02:26.680 --> 0:02:28.440 we got one more and then if not, we gotta 0:02:28.440 --> 0:02:32.800 figure this out. So the pivot is it's powerful and 0:02:32.840 --> 0:02:36.760 we Shan ended up calling a girl at burgdor from 0:02:37.000 --> 0:02:39.040 Sergio hudsd and we went. She literally threw it in 0:02:39.120 --> 0:02:41.600 the car as we were driving past Burgdorf held it 0:02:41.639 --> 0:02:43.080 to the hotel to get ready. Ah. 0:02:43.240 --> 0:02:44.919 I love the d honestly, I love the drama of 0:02:45.280 --> 0:02:46.919 It's like, you know, you can't beat a good memory. 0:02:46.960 --> 0:02:51.680 So yeah, yeah, thank you. So yeah, it was fun. 0:02:51.680 --> 0:02:53.359 It was a lot of fun. I've met a lot 0:02:53.400 --> 0:02:56.040 of amazing people like you, Like this is my first 0:02:56.040 --> 0:02:59.000 time meeting you. I was first introduced to your music 0:03:00.200 --> 0:03:03.280 on Instagram. Okay, we had a bar moment with GPS, 0:03:03.760 --> 0:03:06.720 which I absolutely love that song. I feel like everybody 0:03:06.760 --> 0:03:08.600 was posting and I was like, Oh my gosh, I 0:03:08.639 --> 0:03:10.919 love this girl. And then when someone was like, oh, 0:03:10.919 --> 0:03:12.800 she's one of my clients, I was like, oh my gosh. 0:03:12.840 --> 0:03:15.600 I was super excited to meet and happy that you 0:03:15.639 --> 0:03:16.360 are on the show. 0:03:16.480 --> 0:03:17.800 Yeah, man, thank you for having me. 0:03:19.280 --> 0:03:20.800 I want to know more about you because it's our 0:03:20.840 --> 0:03:23.200 first real chit chat, because everything in New York was 0:03:23.240 --> 0:03:25.079 like so like hey girl, hey girl, but I won't 0:03:25.160 --> 0:03:27.400 really learn more about you and your journey. So you're 0:03:27.440 --> 0:03:30.120 from Faybville, North Carolina, I am Yeah. How was that 0:03:30.160 --> 0:03:31.720 growing up? Isn't that where Jake Color is from? 0:03:31.800 --> 0:03:32.360 Yeah? 0:03:32.480 --> 0:03:37.080 Yeah, yeah, I'm a huge like j cole fan, definitely 0:03:37.120 --> 0:03:40.480 was hometown here growing up. But yeah, originally from North Carolina, 0:03:40.960 --> 0:03:42.600 but also kind of spent a lot of time in 0:03:42.640 --> 0:03:45.960 New York as a kid, chasing my dreams and you know, 0:03:46.080 --> 0:03:46.520 doing things. 0:03:46.600 --> 0:03:48.880 So but yeah, I'm from Faybville. 0:03:48.920 --> 0:03:51.119 And then you did Broadway. I did in New York. 0:03:52.160 --> 0:03:52.840 I was nine. 0:03:53.040 --> 0:03:54.800 I was nine when I booked it, and I did 0:03:54.800 --> 0:03:56.400 it until I was eleven. 0:03:56.320 --> 0:03:59.360 And was Nala your first was that your first role? 0:03:59.800 --> 0:04:02.640 It was my first professional role, but I was definitely 0:04:02.640 --> 0:04:05.960 theater kid growing up. I started performing with my siblings 0:04:05.960 --> 0:04:08.680 actually at the local theater when I was seven, and 0:04:08.760 --> 0:04:10.800 my brother actually used to get me ready for auditions. 0:04:11.000 --> 0:04:12.800 Oh and he actually found. 0:04:12.640 --> 0:04:15.040 The Lion King audition and I ended up booking it 0:04:15.080 --> 0:04:16.600 off an open call. I didn't have an agent or 0:04:16.600 --> 0:04:20.880 anything at that time, and so yeah, pretty quickly it 0:04:20.960 --> 0:04:24.040 turned into you know, my career and when I. 0:04:24.000 --> 0:04:26.640 Was pursuing so and I'm always interested like what is 0:04:26.720 --> 0:04:29.200 it as a child, because I know Broadway can be 0:04:29.240 --> 0:04:32.960 a very rigorous schedule, demanding, and it's not as glamorous 0:04:32.960 --> 0:04:34.880 as people think it. Right, you get the TV and film, 0:04:34.960 --> 0:04:37.160 you have hair styles and makeup artists and you're just 0:04:37.240 --> 0:04:39.400 kind of sitting there learning your lines. And it's still 0:04:39.440 --> 0:04:41.680 a lot of hard work. But with Broadway you have 0:04:41.760 --> 0:04:44.400 to do everything. It's not like you don't have like 0:04:44.440 --> 0:04:46.400 the team of people. How was that at a very 0:04:46.440 --> 0:04:47.000 young age? 0:04:47.200 --> 0:04:50.000 Well, so I actually did have hair and makeup. Yeah, 0:04:50.040 --> 0:04:54.080 there's your way, because it's also very intricate makeup and hair, 0:04:54.160 --> 0:04:56.280 like they attach a thing to your hair, like it's 0:04:56.279 --> 0:04:58.920 this whole thing for young nallas. So I did have 0:04:59.040 --> 0:05:02.919 a great makeup and hair team and dressers and everything. 0:05:03.000 --> 0:05:05.279 So you know, I love the production of theater. 0:05:05.360 --> 0:05:07.640 I love you know, the pace of it, and you 0:05:07.720 --> 0:05:09.480 have to be on it's live, it's you know, eight 0:05:09.520 --> 0:05:10.039 shows a week. 0:05:10.120 --> 0:05:13.440 So so Tyler, he comes from the theater world, so 0:05:13.520 --> 0:05:16.120 I understand, like we have one shot to get the take. 0:05:16.600 --> 0:05:18.719 What is that pressure like day in and day out, 0:05:18.760 --> 0:05:21.000 known that you're performing from the live audience and you 0:05:21.080 --> 0:05:22.760 gotta get it right in that one shot. 0:05:22.920 --> 0:05:23.200 Yeah. 0:05:23.279 --> 0:05:25.400 Well, so I think something that I really love about 0:05:25.400 --> 0:05:28.320 theater is the preparation that's required because you're doing the 0:05:28.360 --> 0:05:31.479 same show every night, right, and so you get to 0:05:31.520 --> 0:05:33.359 a point where it's kind of in your muscle memory. 0:05:33.680 --> 0:05:36.200 Obviously you have to improv, and you know there's different 0:05:36.240 --> 0:05:38.360 things that come up every night, you know, maybe. 0:05:38.080 --> 0:05:39.880 A technical difficulty or what have you. 0:05:40.720 --> 0:05:42.800 But it really just kind of lives in your in 0:05:42.839 --> 0:05:45.200 your body at a certain point. And so for me, 0:05:45.839 --> 0:05:48.359 especially as a kid, it really wasn't pressure because I 0:05:48.440 --> 0:05:50.760 just felt so prepared and I loved it, you know, 0:05:50.839 --> 0:05:52.200 I was really just having so much fun. 0:05:52.480 --> 0:05:54.840 What was like, can you remember what was a moment 0:05:54.880 --> 0:05:56.960 where it was like whoa, Like you had your first 0:05:57.000 --> 0:06:00.360 technical difficulty or you had to improv where you were 0:06:00.360 --> 0:06:01.960 you kind of like what's happening? Did you kind of 0:06:01.960 --> 0:06:03.880 have to learn like how to pivot or was that 0:06:03.880 --> 0:06:04.960 something that just came naturally. 0:06:05.200 --> 0:06:09.320 So, actually, the first technical difficulty I had was not 0:06:09.320 --> 0:06:10.000 in The Lion King. 0:06:10.000 --> 0:06:11.560 It was when it was in my first show. 0:06:11.640 --> 0:06:15.600 I did The Wizard of Oz Wow and one yeah, yeah, 0:06:15.800 --> 0:06:18.520 well in my local theater. So that was my first 0:06:18.560 --> 0:06:22.360 show and I was a munchkin, and you know, we 0:06:22.360 --> 0:06:25.719 were wearing these huge uh you know, munchkin land shoes 0:06:26.279 --> 0:06:29.159 and myne one of mine came off in the middle 0:06:29.200 --> 0:06:32.880 of us, like ring around the rosy situation, and my 0:06:32.960 --> 0:06:34.840 sister was also in the show with me, and my 0:06:34.920 --> 0:06:38.679 sister kind of just kicked the shoe off off stage 0:06:38.760 --> 0:06:41.200 and so uh and I was just so happy to 0:06:41.200 --> 0:06:42.560 have my sister there for me in that moment because 0:06:42.560 --> 0:06:43.160 that was my first time. 0:06:43.160 --> 0:06:43.560 I was seven. 0:06:43.600 --> 0:06:44.839 I didn't know what to do, but you know, you 0:06:44.920 --> 0:06:48.040 keep going, you keep rolling with it. So yeah, so 0:06:48.120 --> 0:06:52.320 that that definitely was like a core memory for me 0:06:52.960 --> 0:06:56.839 to just keep swimming, you know, see him going going. 0:06:57.000 --> 0:06:59.440 Yeah, I had a moment like that my first pageant. 0:06:59.480 --> 0:07:02.080 I wasn't as young as you. I was probably like 0:07:02.839 --> 0:07:05.600 thirteen and I did my first pageant and I was 0:07:05.640 --> 0:07:07.560 such a time boy growing up. Okay, but you know 0:07:07.600 --> 0:07:09.200 how like they do like the parade where all the 0:07:09.200 --> 0:07:12.280 girls walk out, all the contestants, and I literally lost 0:07:12.280 --> 0:07:14.600 my shoe and I had to like stand on the 0:07:14.680 --> 0:07:16.360 hip like on my TV toes on one foot and 0:07:16.360 --> 0:07:18.040 had to keep going and make it work. My friend 0:07:18.160 --> 0:07:19.720 she was behind me, and she kicked the shoe out 0:07:19.760 --> 0:07:22.400 of the way, like similar to yours. So that is funny. 0:07:22.440 --> 0:07:24.000 But that's good that you had the wherewithal I just 0:07:24.080 --> 0:07:24.760 keep going. 0:07:24.680 --> 0:07:26.480 Yeah, yeah, yeah, And that's life, man. 0:07:26.640 --> 0:07:29.920 Yeah, no, that is something you can literally take with 0:07:30.000 --> 0:07:31.600 you for the rest of your life. Just keep going. 0:07:31.680 --> 0:07:31.880 Yeah. 0:07:31.960 --> 0:07:35.880 I love that you ended up. How long did you 0:07:36.640 --> 0:07:39.160 continue this pursuing this career as you got older? 0:07:39.720 --> 0:07:43.360 I kind of like never stopped. I just shifted my focus. 0:07:43.400 --> 0:07:46.200 So when I was in the Lion King, I became 0:07:46.240 --> 0:07:49.960 interested in songwriting, okay, and I was like a huge 0:07:50.120 --> 0:07:53.800 like music nerd since before I can remember. 0:07:53.920 --> 0:07:56.040 And so I used to watch all the MTV. 0:07:55.880 --> 0:07:58.760 VH one like behind the you know music, like those 0:07:58.840 --> 0:08:02.280 kind of episodes, and I'm a huge Maria carry fan. 0:08:02.520 --> 0:08:04.520 I was really big on Neo growing up too, and 0:08:04.720 --> 0:08:07.080 I was like, okay, they're songwriters, so I need to 0:08:07.200 --> 0:08:10.720 learn how to write songs. And so I asked for 0:08:10.760 --> 0:08:13.440 a guitar for my tenth birthday and I got one 0:08:13.600 --> 0:08:16.360 and I started writing songs on my guitar when I 0:08:16.400 --> 0:08:18.440 was ten, and so that kind of opened the door 0:08:18.480 --> 0:08:21.360 for me really just thinking about music is what I 0:08:21.360 --> 0:08:25.160 wanted to pursue, because before, you know, I was really young, 0:08:25.360 --> 0:08:27.120 so you know, the world was kind of my oyster 0:08:27.200 --> 0:08:28.840 and I was like, I could do theater, I can 0:08:28.920 --> 0:08:30.720 do movies, and you know, music. 0:08:30.760 --> 0:08:32.160 I wanted to do all of it and still do 0:08:32.360 --> 0:08:34.640 you know. Yeah, but I really started. 0:08:34.280 --> 0:08:37.160 Focusing on music when I was sixteen, and I was like, Okay, 0:08:37.960 --> 0:08:39.480 this is this is the one thing I'm going to 0:08:39.520 --> 0:08:41.880 focus on for now before I branch out, you know. 0:08:43.600 --> 0:08:46.720 Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's dope. You talked about how once 0:08:46.760 --> 0:08:49.400 you got a little older you took a hiatus from everything. 0:08:49.960 --> 0:08:52.079 What prompted that ship to be like I need to 0:08:52.120 --> 0:08:54.920 take a beat. 0:08:55.320 --> 0:09:00.520 Life just started life in and I didn't know how 0:09:00.559 --> 0:09:03.440 to manage it right. And I think that because I 0:09:03.480 --> 0:09:07.840 was so young in this constant pursuit right of my 0:09:07.920 --> 0:09:10.520 goals and of these visions that God had really shown 0:09:10.600 --> 0:09:13.920 me about what my life would look like. You know, 0:09:14.200 --> 0:09:16.199 I got kind of lost in that at a point, 0:09:16.320 --> 0:09:19.360 and you know, God didn't show me all the mess No, 0:09:19.640 --> 0:09:25.840 I haven't, right, And so you know, I was at 0:09:25.880 --> 0:09:27.800 a really tough place with my mental health. 0:09:28.559 --> 0:09:29.600 I kind of was ending up. 0:09:29.559 --> 0:09:34.360 In toxic relationship after toxic relationship. You know, things got 0:09:34.400 --> 0:09:37.080 tough in my career and I just didn't really know 0:09:37.160 --> 0:09:37.760 what was next. 0:09:37.800 --> 0:09:39.440 I just felt like I was kind of on this. 0:09:39.679 --> 0:09:43.040 Downward spiral that I couldn't see the end of how 0:09:43.040 --> 0:09:45.960 to stop it, you know, And so I had to 0:09:46.120 --> 0:09:48.160 like make a decision to take a beat. And it 0:09:48.240 --> 0:09:50.880 was tough to kind of come to that place of like, 0:09:50.920 --> 0:09:53.079 you know what, this isn't working out. 0:09:54.200 --> 0:09:58.120 But but God used it. And so yeah, there was 0:09:58.120 --> 0:10:00.319 a just kind of like a whirlwind just. 0:10:00.320 --> 0:10:05.040 Mess demon sharing because I liked for our audience to 0:10:05.080 --> 0:10:07.040 see that, like, we are just like them. A lot 0:10:07.080 --> 0:10:09.040 of times they see us in the spotlight and things, Oh, 0:10:09.040 --> 0:10:11.800 they don't go through anything. Are you comfortable to sharing 0:10:11.840 --> 0:10:13.880 anything that you were going through that moment that may 0:10:13.920 --> 0:10:14.640 help someone else? 0:10:14.960 --> 0:10:15.240 Sure? 0:10:15.400 --> 0:10:20.520 Yeah, So it was really just a combination of honestly 0:10:20.559 --> 0:10:25.160 like being naive I was young really like when I 0:10:25.240 --> 0:10:28.959 was when I went to college, is when everything kind 0:10:28.960 --> 0:10:34.320 of just fell apart, you know. And and I think 0:10:34.320 --> 0:10:36.319 that I also in the midst of all of these things, 0:10:36.360 --> 0:10:38.640 you know, happening in my family life, like things you 0:10:38.679 --> 0:10:41.760 know that were really traumatic happening in my family, and 0:10:41.800 --> 0:10:44.080 then me you know, falling in love for the first 0:10:44.120 --> 0:10:46.160 time in my life and maybe falling in love with 0:10:46.360 --> 0:10:48.439 the really wrong people to fall in love with. 0:10:49.480 --> 0:10:51.400 You know. I was just I didn't. 0:10:51.160 --> 0:10:53.760 Have the tools spiritually to like understand that what I 0:10:53.800 --> 0:10:58.280 was going through with spiritual warfare and and and I 0:10:58.320 --> 0:11:00.360 needed help with it. And I was at an age 0:11:00.360 --> 0:11:03.000 where I thought I knew everything and nobody can tell 0:11:03.040 --> 0:11:03.840 me nothing. 0:11:04.040 --> 0:11:07.240 You know, girl. 0:11:08.040 --> 0:11:10.719 I was like, girl, I got it, like don't huh. 0:11:10.760 --> 0:11:13.199 And so yeah, so there were. 0:11:13.080 --> 0:11:14.840 There was there were some tragedies that happened in my 0:11:14.880 --> 0:11:19.160 family that I kind of leaned into partying to try 0:11:19.200 --> 0:11:23.200 to figure out how to cope with. And then that, uh, 0:11:23.280 --> 0:11:25.720 you know, the world that I was in led to 0:11:26.000 --> 0:11:30.640 some really toxic and abusive relationships and it just became 0:11:30.679 --> 0:11:34.160 a cycle and it started to kind of normalize in 0:11:34.160 --> 0:11:35.880 my life, and I was like, okay, like this is 0:11:35.960 --> 0:11:39.839 just being grown, you know, right, And you know I 0:11:40.720 --> 0:11:43.040 kind of accepted that as truth until I just couldn't 0:11:43.040 --> 0:11:43.920 accept it anymore. 0:11:44.120 --> 0:11:44.360 You know. 0:11:44.520 --> 0:11:47.319 So my question, did you have like an upbringing where 0:11:47.360 --> 0:11:49.240 you're you're raising a church where you because a lot 0:11:49.240 --> 0:11:51.360 of times, like for me, I was raising a church. 0:11:51.520 --> 0:11:54.120 My mother was a pastor. We were there every time 0:11:54.160 --> 0:11:56.520 the doors of the church opened. Got to college and 0:11:56.559 --> 0:11:59.520 I was buck wild, like rebelled, you know, I was 0:11:59.559 --> 0:12:02.480 the prodigal daughter, okay, you know, and I literally like 0:12:02.640 --> 0:12:06.440 same thing, partying, drinking. When I got to college with 0:12:06.559 --> 0:12:08.760 the wrong guys. You know, it was just like down 0:12:08.800 --> 0:12:12.280 this path of destruction. Was there a moment in your 0:12:12.360 --> 0:12:14.960 childhood where you had something to reach back to, knowing 0:12:15.080 --> 0:12:17.640 like I got to get back to the foundation. 0:12:17.920 --> 0:12:18.199 Yeah. 0:12:18.440 --> 0:12:22.000 Yeah, so my parents definitely gave me that foundation. We weren't. 0:12:22.280 --> 0:12:24.600 I wasn't a church girl, you know, like we would 0:12:24.679 --> 0:12:27.760 kind of be in and out of church at different 0:12:27.800 --> 0:12:31.920 times growing up. But when I was fourteen, I did 0:12:32.120 --> 0:12:35.160 do the alter call at a Bible study and I 0:12:35.160 --> 0:12:37.160 gave my life to Christ. But I did it kind 0:12:37.200 --> 0:12:38.880 of out of fear because I didn't want to go 0:12:38.880 --> 0:12:39.160 to Hell. 0:12:39.320 --> 0:12:40.440 Let's talk about it. You know. 0:12:41.040 --> 0:12:44.040 I didn't do it because I really like understood who 0:12:44.120 --> 0:12:47.160 Jesus is, or like even maybe at that point even 0:12:47.200 --> 0:12:49.679 really cared to know who Jesus is. But I just 0:12:49.720 --> 0:12:51.960 didn't want to go to Hell. And so I was like, Okay, 0:12:52.000 --> 0:12:54.720 I'm gonna do this alter call. I'm gonna be saved, 0:12:54.880 --> 0:12:57.319 and that's cool. But I, you know, then went into 0:12:57.400 --> 0:12:59.520 high school and went into college and wavered. 0:13:00.920 --> 0:13:02.079 And as a kid, I. 0:13:02.000 --> 0:13:05.840 Wouldn't say I wouldn't say that anything kept me restricted. 0:13:05.920 --> 0:13:08.160 But me, I was so focused as a kid. 0:13:08.559 --> 0:13:13.360 And so rigid towards myself, had a lot of. 0:13:13.320 --> 0:13:17.360 Negative self talk because I was so just goal oriented 0:13:17.480 --> 0:13:20.000 and I didn't I didn't party in high school. I 0:13:20.000 --> 0:13:22.000 didn't have a huge social circle, like I was just 0:13:22.040 --> 0:13:22.640 at the house. 0:13:23.040 --> 0:13:25.880 I would go to school and go home and songwrite 0:13:25.880 --> 0:13:26.840 and that was it, you know. 0:13:27.040 --> 0:13:29.160 And so I think for me, then when I got 0:13:29.160 --> 0:13:30.880 to college, I was like, okay, well I did the 0:13:30.920 --> 0:13:33.040 thing like I'm you know, I'm back in New York, 0:13:33.120 --> 0:13:35.400 and I'm you know, pursuing what I want to be pursuing, 0:13:36.320 --> 0:13:38.880 you know, And and and I went a little I 0:13:38.960 --> 0:13:41.840 went wild, you know. And it wasn't because of necessarily 0:13:41.920 --> 0:13:44.680 a rebellion from the church, but I think I was 0:13:44.679 --> 0:13:49.080 rebelling against like myself. Yeah, Like I was tired of 0:13:49.080 --> 0:13:50.920 being so structured and I wanted to know what it 0:13:50.960 --> 0:13:53.920 felt like to just kind of like be free, I feel, 0:13:54.240 --> 0:13:57.240 you know, and ended up thinking that all of these 0:13:57.280 --> 0:13:59.920 things that were keeping me free or making me free, 0:14:00.160 --> 0:14:01.800 I came to realize these are actually. 0:14:01.640 --> 0:14:04.480 Bondage, you know. 0:14:06.080 --> 0:14:08.800 And so I do thank my parents that they gave 0:14:08.800 --> 0:14:13.400 me the foundation of Jesus, you know, because then a 0:14:13.400 --> 0:14:14.880 couple of years later, when I was like I need 0:14:14.920 --> 0:14:16.040 to just completely. 0:14:15.640 --> 0:14:20.040 Reset and deconstruct or reconstruct, who I ran to was Jesus. 0:14:20.080 --> 0:14:21.960 And at that point that's when I figured out what 0:14:22.040 --> 0:14:24.920 a relationship with the Lord is and who the Lord is. 0:14:25.440 --> 0:14:30.840 So yeah, people often think that a relationship with Jesus 0:14:30.960 --> 0:14:33.640 is just so cookie cutter, and it is far from that. 0:14:33.880 --> 0:14:36.760 It is ever evolving. Is that like when they say 0:14:37.480 --> 0:14:40.440 the daily bread, it is literally like you die daily 0:14:40.640 --> 0:14:43.320 and wake up for it. It's literally like every day 0:14:43.440 --> 0:14:46.520 every day. And there's seasons where you go through spiritual warfare. 0:14:46.880 --> 0:14:49.120 There are seasons where you're really locked in there are 0:14:49.120 --> 0:14:51.760 seasons where you're knocked off your rocker. And for me, 0:14:51.840 --> 0:14:55.640 I know I can. I've been very vocal about my 0:14:55.760 --> 0:14:59.760 walk and sometimes Christians aren't the easiest to be open with. 0:15:00.480 --> 0:15:02.640 In my mind, I'm like, God knows the truth, So 0:15:02.680 --> 0:15:05.280 why am I gonna fake it for y'all? No, And 0:15:06.560 --> 0:15:10.080 I was very honest about moments where I backslid, you know, 0:15:10.320 --> 0:15:13.120 And now I'm on the path where I'm really, really 0:15:13.520 --> 0:15:16.880 in tune and intimate and really pursuing that int relationship 0:15:16.920 --> 0:15:19.440 with God. And some people just don't get it. They're 0:15:19.520 --> 0:15:21.480 just like, you know, I had somebody ask me, like, 0:15:22.080 --> 0:15:25.160 I mean, if you've been doing it, like like why now? 0:15:25.280 --> 0:15:27.040 Like why would you just stop doing I'm like, because 0:15:27.040 --> 0:15:29.960 the Bible says like once you realize you're going, don't 0:15:30.040 --> 0:15:31.960 you turn away from that? You don't keep going down 0:15:31.960 --> 0:15:34.000 the path of destruction? Like what sense does that make? 0:15:34.560 --> 0:15:38.080 And I feel like where we are now just the 0:15:38.120 --> 0:15:42.560 state of the world. I feel like God is pulling 0:15:42.720 --> 0:15:45.880 his children near and pulling his clothes. Have you noticed that? 0:15:46.000 --> 0:15:48.840 Like every conversation you have for me, every conversation I've 0:15:48.840 --> 0:15:52.280 had since the beginning of twenty twenty five, Jesus has 0:15:52.320 --> 0:15:55.000 come up at some point, like it just ran like 0:15:55.160 --> 0:15:57.520 a lot of people don't really kind of stay away 0:15:57.520 --> 0:15:59.360 from the topic of God and don't really want to 0:15:59.400 --> 0:16:02.120 like step on any feet or like rough any feathers. 0:16:02.480 --> 0:16:05.560 But I feel like everyone he's like tugging on everyone. 0:16:06.040 --> 0:16:07.880 And the other night we had like this really bad 0:16:07.920 --> 0:16:11.680 storm and I literally thought God was back. I was like, 0:16:12.240 --> 0:16:15.440 I was like, Lord is right. I was like yes, 0:16:15.760 --> 0:16:19.920 like and I was like, why am I scared? You 0:16:20.000 --> 0:16:22.200 know what I'm saying. And it was such an high moment. 0:16:22.280 --> 0:16:24.320 I was like, ooh, girl, Like I don't want to 0:16:24.360 --> 0:16:25.800 be scared. I want to be like, thank you, come on, 0:16:25.880 --> 0:16:28.120 wrap me up, let's go. Like I didn't want to. 0:16:28.160 --> 0:16:30.200 I don't want to be like, oh my God. And 0:16:30.360 --> 0:16:33.320 I recently just like God had been convinced me on sex. 0:16:34.040 --> 0:16:36.080 And as I was reading, I just talked. I posted 0:16:36.080 --> 0:16:38.680 something the other day about every time I read the 0:16:38.680 --> 0:16:41.440 Bible sexual immorality was just like literally jump off page. 0:16:41.440 --> 0:16:46.160 I'm like, okay, Lord, I get it. Yeah yeah. And 0:16:47.440 --> 0:16:49.400 when that happened, and I was thinking about the next 0:16:49.440 --> 0:16:51.240 day after the storm, and I was like, I don't 0:16:51.240 --> 0:16:53.080 want to be somewhere where my legs caught back and 0:16:53.080 --> 0:16:56.560 God come down? Can you imagine? And then be like 0:16:57.120 --> 0:17:01.520 hold on Lord? Right, No, you keep that same energy 0:17:02.200 --> 0:17:02.600 over here. 0:17:02.840 --> 0:17:03.040 You know. 0:17:03.520 --> 0:17:06.440 I don't want like it was real. It's like when 0:17:06.440 --> 0:17:09.119 you put into that perspective because like my parents were like, 0:17:09.240 --> 0:17:10.800 think about it, like when God comes back, what do 0:17:10.840 --> 0:17:13.520 you want to be doing? And it's not until this 0:17:13.600 --> 0:17:16.040 big age where I was like taking it. What do 0:17:16.119 --> 0:17:20.320 I want to be caught doing? Like people don't think 0:17:20.320 --> 0:17:22.960 about it, like I feel you. When that thunder roar 0:17:23.000 --> 0:17:26.600 the other night, I said, oh no, he is he here? 0:17:27.440 --> 0:17:29.280 I was like, legit scared and I don't want to 0:17:29.280 --> 0:17:32.760 be scared. I don't want to be like let's go. Yeah, 0:17:33.040 --> 0:17:35.600 I don't need no bags. I'm ready, you know, like 0:17:35.840 --> 0:17:38.760 I want to be ready. So yeah, I feel you. 0:17:39.119 --> 0:17:42.679 I've definitely had those moments where I like wavered and 0:17:42.840 --> 0:17:45.920 just it's it's ever evolving. Yeah, And I wish people 0:17:46.000 --> 0:17:48.879 understood that, you know, because it's not perfect, and he 0:17:48.920 --> 0:17:50.480 doesn't expect us to be perfect exactly. 0:17:50.600 --> 0:17:53.080 Yeah, he has grace for it. Yeah, right, he has 0:17:53.160 --> 0:17:55.840 expectations of us. He has his children, like he doesn't 0:17:55.840 --> 0:17:57.879 want us to live righteously, but I think that as 0:17:57.920 --> 0:17:59.920