Speaker 1: Hi or Hive. Before we begin this week's episode, I
Speaker 1: want to let everyone know who purchased tickets to our
Speaker 1: live shows that we have went forward with canceling those shows.
Speaker 1: So if you bought tickets for Atlanta, San Francisco, Los Angeles, UM,
Speaker 1: just know that those shows were canceled UM. In order
Speaker 1: for us to get you guys refunds on those tickets, UM,
Speaker 1: the event had to be fully canceled. So just know.
Speaker 1: Once we know that we're gonna be able to go
Speaker 1: back on tour again, we will go ahead and make
Speaker 1: the announcement as we have all the time before our
Speaker 1: live shows. And just know, for those of you who
Speaker 1: had really good seats, you will be going ahead and
Speaker 1: getting your money back refunded from Ticketmaster. And so when
Speaker 1: we release dates again, you will have to repurchase. So guys,
Speaker 1: you are no longer UM need to hold your tickets.
Speaker 1: Those will go ahead and be refunded to you. So
Speaker 1: wanted to let you guys know that I know a
Speaker 1: lot of you guys have been hitting us up and
Speaker 1: felt that we didn't answer. However, once again, these shows
Speaker 1: were not really put on by us, so we had
Speaker 1: to wait for a ticketmaster to make moves. So for
Speaker 1: all of those who bought tickets, we highly, highly, highly
Speaker 1: and greatly appreciate you doing so. But just so you know,
Speaker 1: you guys are getting that refund and we'll be back
Speaker 1: live and add it as soon as we can. Um,
Speaker 1: So I wanted to let that be known before we
Speaker 1: start this week's episode. Now let's get on with the show.
Speaker 1: Hey guys, welcome, What did it do? Motherfuck? Guys? Welcome
Speaker 1: to another episode of Horrible Decisions. This is your girl. Actually,
Speaker 1: I want to be someone new this week. Finally finished
Speaker 1: the ten episode MJ doc and I'm gonna be Carmen
Speaker 1: Electra for this episode because she's a fucking goat and
Speaker 1: I want the documentary on her whole phase. So this
Speaker 1: is your girl, Carmen Electra a k A Peg the
Speaker 1: Stallion a k A Me de Baskins a k A
Speaker 1: that bitch. I'll get Denise Rodman because Jannis Rodman is me,
Speaker 1: my nigga. I don't give a funk about the job
Speaker 1: when I lead it, so I definitely watched all of
Speaker 1: that ship too, And you guys know I don't give
Speaker 1: a funk about sports. I don't even think you need
Speaker 1: to know me to know, I don't give a funk,
Speaker 1: but that ship was t now. I loved it. And
Speaker 1: this is not a sports podcast for those of you
Speaker 1: who are tuning in for the first time, because I
Speaker 1: know we may have some new listeners because we have
Speaker 1: the motherfucking voice of the culture, the motherfucking I said
Speaker 1: what our motherfucker's said, and I stand for everything black.
Speaker 1: We finally have Van Leathan. I didn't know how he
Speaker 1: was really gonna ent you because you kind of got
Speaker 1: your own job. Now we can't say where your work,
Speaker 1: So we have Van Lethan on today's podcast. Go ahead, man,
Speaker 1: what how y'all doing? Man? Look, I've had each of
Speaker 1: these ladies on my podcast. Um, I can say you
Speaker 1: ought to be great friends. I love this fucking podcast
Speaker 1: I always have, so I'm happy to be here. Man.
Speaker 1: I'm happy too that it took a fucking pandemic to
Speaker 1: get your ass on the show. Bro Bro, y'all had
Speaker 1: to go to Joe Buttons fucking pool party then the
Speaker 1: one time because we always wanted to do the episode
Speaker 1: with you together. We felt like you would be someone
Speaker 1: fun because we're all friends. So it was like, okay,
Speaker 1: one of us is out of town. It's not gonna work.
Speaker 1: We'll look at us now all together, all in separate
Speaker 1: motherfucking locations because the world is ending, so that don't
Speaker 1: say that. Honestly, I ain't gonna hold you. So I
Speaker 1: wanted to start off this UM episode. I know that
Speaker 1: Weezy and I in the beginning of this, I guess pandemic.
Speaker 1: Wey was like, all we hear is about coronavirus. We
Speaker 1: gotta keep the conversation away from coronavirus. But I think
Speaker 1: that this has now become kind of a new norm.
Speaker 1: I would say, UM, and we're all in different locations,
Speaker 1: So I just kind of even wanted to talk to
Speaker 1: you Van and see how it has kind of affected you,
Speaker 1: not only for UM the worst, because it's kind of
Speaker 1: affected us all a little negatively. I wanted to kind
Speaker 1: of know in a positive way what you've taken from
Speaker 1: what's been going on. UM. It's difficult, Like in a
Speaker 1: positive way, I guess I've learned again about my own
Speaker 1: resilience because unlike a lot of other people who were
Speaker 1: able to deal with this, I had a complete fucking
Speaker 1: nervous breakdown, like one UM with my anxiety. Everyone says, oh,
Speaker 1: I have anxiety and I'm not saying that people don't.
Speaker 1: We all do to a degree. Mine is completely crippling.
Speaker 1: It is Uh, It's like it decimates like it came
Speaker 1: from I'm scared. I'm taking my temperature fifteen times a day, UM,
Speaker 1: reading everything, I'm getting into everything, I'm all fucked up.
Speaker 1: Then it goes into I'm so stressed out that I'm
Speaker 1: having a hard palpitations. Then I can scare of the
Speaker 1: hard palpitations, and then I can't sleep. I think I
Speaker 1: went three weeks with about thirty minutes asleep per night.
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm not gonna lie. I don't think we've
Speaker 1: talked about it. I know I've joked about, you know,
Speaker 1: being sexless, being dickless, not going on dates, and we've
Speaker 1: definitely brought up how this pandemic has affected us with
Speaker 1: dating and sex and partners UM. But I don't think
Speaker 1: we've talked about much of the mental health and even UM.
Speaker 1: I started to run a report UM kind of just
Speaker 1: to work on speaking by myself and also editing audio.
Speaker 1: But then, like I was speaking to my mom and
Speaker 1: I went into kind of like a manic phase myself.
Speaker 1: I was on the phone with my mom after grocery
Speaker 1: shopping one day and I was like, so, yeah, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna get this. I'm gonna get this, and she just
Speaker 1: like said, she was like, calm down, you sound really manic.
Speaker 1: She was like, I'm so glad you have body there
Speaker 1: because I really am an extrovert and I'm feeling now
Speaker 1: like fuck, I'm not around people and it's affecting me.
Speaker 1: I mean, um, my friend is staying with me for
Speaker 1: a couple of months now, so that's gonna relieve kind
Speaker 1: of just the need to be with human interaction. But yeah,
Speaker 1: we definitely haven't talked about how this whole thing has
Speaker 1: affected our mental health along with sex and our jobs. Um,
Speaker 1: we easy mentally has this affected you? Have you felt
Speaker 1: anything with depression or anxiety or you know, being around
Speaker 1: other people? I think we were both really like extroverted
Speaker 1: people that liked being outside. In the beginning. It did,
Speaker 1: but I adapted pretty well. Like I mean I was
Speaker 1: crying a lot, not like don't already cry a lot,
Speaker 1: but like just spurts of like going to a grocery
Speaker 1: source seeing all the masks and being like, oh wow,
Speaker 1: life is over. Like just um getting depressed about people
Speaker 1: I know who have gotten coronavirus and not understanding because
Speaker 1: I think in the beginning I just felt like if
Speaker 1: you get it, you die, and that was really terrifying,
Speaker 1: much like a cancer right, like survival rate with cancer.
Speaker 1: When you it feels like a death sentence. But the
Speaker 1: more that I'm becoming eligible and how to take care
Speaker 1: of my body and getting healthier, I'm not as word um.
Speaker 1: Also like I've done a lot of goal setting and
Speaker 1: a lot of things that have pulled me out of
Speaker 1: feeling depressed. Like I put things on the schedule, which
Speaker 1: I know everybody says to do that, so I feel
Speaker 1: like that part is annoying too. I'm so sick of
Speaker 1: people telling me, oh, dude's doing with your friends, fay
Speaker 1: time with your friends and get your calendar busy, but
Speaker 1: like you just actually have to do it and you'd
Speaker 1: be I I know more about talks now that I
Speaker 1: ever have in my fucking life. I actually don't watch
Speaker 1: that much. Netflix was just wild, Like I feel like
Speaker 1: I should I limit myself tonight time to do it.
Speaker 1: I don't watch during the day. We talked about it
Speaker 1: on Patreon. I completely have gotten off of the binge concept,
Speaker 1: Like that phase is so over. I can't binge just
Speaker 1: show I've honestly tried to start a couple you know
Speaker 1: where we all had it right because as busy people,
Speaker 1: you didn't have the opportunity to binge. You can't just
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying, our lives before you're like,
Speaker 1: oh word, my nigga be in a house for two weeks. Cool,
Speaker 1: let me watch every show that y'all. Nick has been
Speaker 1: talking about how I just started soprano. I don't understand,
Speaker 1: but I don't know. Now, I will tell you one thing.
Speaker 1: I want to want to be on brand here. I'm
Speaker 1: horny as fuck and I have someone to fuck, but
Speaker 1: I'm horny all the time because it's quarantine. And I
Speaker 1: think it's because I'm spending more time on my phone
Speaker 1: and a lot of people do pooring, bro, And if
Speaker 1: they weren't doing it before, they're doing it now. Some
Speaker 1: of the people that have started their only fans journey
Speaker 1: in this particular thing are people I never would have thought,
Speaker 1: like who I like who? Yeah? Like it's not body
Speaker 1: that y'all would know, but it's like people that I
Speaker 1: worked with that's like, yo, cook the link in the Bible.
Speaker 1: I'm like yo, for real? Inn Yeah, I like you
Speaker 1: had just graduate from San Diego State and you were
Speaker 1: telling me you're gonna be the next open. By the way,
Speaker 1: you can still be the next open and do your
Speaker 1: only fans. You can't do, you can't do, you can't do.
Speaker 1: But I'm just surprised. I know what you're saying, because
Speaker 1: I think we always think like someone's gonna say, ll,
Speaker 1: why can't you be up. At the same time, it's
Speaker 1: just normal people trajectory. What's normal to us is not
Speaker 1: only fans and OPRAH, but the world is changing bro
Speaker 1: with the more people that do it, the more people
Speaker 1: that do it, the more common place is going to become.
Speaker 1: And then you have a chance to be the first
Speaker 1: only fans OPRA absolutely because because there's a lot of
Speaker 1: mothers out there doing it. I think that that's even
Speaker 1: the way, UM and shout out to you. I know
Speaker 1: you just started kind of a wire recap with Jamal Hill.
Speaker 1: That's one of your UM one of your podcasts that
Speaker 1: you're doing right now on top of the red Pill podcast.
Speaker 1: You're still no more red Pill and there's still up
Speaker 1: for people to listen to it. Because I want people
Speaker 1: to still go back and listen to the content because
Speaker 1: we we think I were right. Right. Look, I still
Speaker 1: own the I P to the Red Pill. The red
Speaker 1: Pill is I own it completely. But uh, I am
Speaker 1: now launching a brand new podcast with the Wringer I
Speaker 1: Love Them next week, so I have two shows with them,
Speaker 1: um and the next the podcast I'm launching with them
Speaker 1: X is going to be more along the lines of
Speaker 1: what I was doing with the Love It And you
Speaker 1: guys want to talk about I P S and be
Speaker 1: MESSI or not. No bitch, I was getting into the
Speaker 1: motherfucker's topic. Actually, I was just listening to that past
Speaker 1: listen even so I was in a hole. I would
Speaker 1: have been talking to Liz Goldwin shoutout to this going
Speaker 1: from sex education, me and this bitch on the phone.
Speaker 1: She's like, you know, I'm in the hole. I'm like,
Speaker 1: can you believe I'm not even gonna lie? So I
Speaker 1: was actually going to bring that up because, um, the
Speaker 1: same way we talked about kind of just the normalization
Speaker 1: of only fans. I remember starting a podcast three and
Speaker 1: a half years ago and Nigga's looking at it as
Speaker 1: a hobby and now all of this podcast drama and quick.
Speaker 1: But that's a brief Rundown. So there's a podcast and
Speaker 1: I mean normally it's like, oh, don't give anybody they're
Speaker 1: they're huge. They're called called the Drama source scene where
Speaker 1: we're talking about the million dollar um ideas or million
Speaker 1: dollars something with wallow Gilly to kids. That's also podcast drama.
Speaker 1: This this one, particularly about the I P is super interesting.
Speaker 1: So Call Her Daddy is a sex podcast of two
Speaker 1: white girls that live in New York. Um. And when
Speaker 1: we got into us, when we got into this, I
Speaker 1: knew the motherfucking clause was coming out. I like, even
Speaker 1: when you said that because you were like two white girls,
Speaker 1: why I want to mention their because I feel like
Speaker 1: that has a lot to do with how doing on.
Speaker 1: Now let me say one, I don't want to even
Speaker 1: say that they're like us, because I really feel like
Speaker 1: just because two people have sex podcasts, I mean ship
Speaker 1: like we're not close to nothing. Horrible Decisions doesn't even
Speaker 1: close to that, you know what I mean, Like we're
Speaker 1: a sex ed kinky fund podcast. There's two white girls
Speaker 1: that tell their nasty stories. Cool to me, they have
Speaker 1: their very value girl voices. They curate this audience that's
Speaker 1: like do she but they make money on it. That's
Speaker 1: a bigger lane than what we do. So it ain't
Speaker 1: no shade. What are you talking about? People? Are we
Speaker 1: come on? I think it's not even that it's a
Speaker 1: bigger lank, because I would say that is a bigger
Speaker 1: I'm saying when we came out, Um, because we are
Speaker 1: just two women to talk about sex, we could be
Speaker 1: compared to guys we fucked. We've been compared to Cocktails.
Speaker 1: We've been compared to literally two girls that are open
Speaker 1: about talking about sex. And so Cocktails is based in Atlanta.
Speaker 1: We've had them shout out to Kikia Medina. Um, but
Speaker 1: so call her daddy? Is these you know? Two white
Speaker 1: girls are a blonde in the brunette, they openly talk
Speaker 1: about sex. Well, they signed the acquired Yeah, they signed
Speaker 1: three before. I think that's a big thing to say,
Speaker 1: and that's a huge part of thing to say. They
Speaker 1: were a podcast before they did not start, and bar
Speaker 1: Stool Store did not conceptualize this is which is actually
Speaker 1: what I thought they were. They were still a podcast before, right,
Speaker 1: So it doesn't it's not like bar stool reached out.
Speaker 1: And the reason that's important is because I'm early on
Speaker 1: with a new podcast two and people are like, hey,
Speaker 1: sign this contract and do ads with us. People don't
Speaker 1: give a fun. But here's the thing, though, they don't
Speaker 1: give a funk. People give that to me and Mandy.
Speaker 1: They do it to everybody, But here's the But here's
Speaker 1: the thing though, if like you guys had a podcast
Speaker 1: and the podcast grew organically for a long long time
Speaker 1: before any other networks came in, right, right, there is
Speaker 1: something to be said with how early a major network
Speaker 1: like bar stool gets involved with your party weeks into
Speaker 1: like early, right, so that that does lend itself to
Speaker 1: the success of the brand, like you can't you can't
Speaker 1: divorce those two things. That's why I said, I think
Speaker 1: it's important to acknowledge that they had it before. So
Speaker 1: the tea is I've never listened to an episode. However,
Speaker 1: the podcast has been on air for a year, and
Speaker 1: they stopped letting episodes come out or stop doing episodes
Speaker 1: for about four weeks. Nobody kind of knew why. They
Speaker 1: posted some cryptic shit about how people would find out,
Speaker 1: but the owner of bar Stools, who's Dave Portnoy, came
Speaker 1: on their feed basically because he owns it and talked
Speaker 1: about why there hadn't been episodes, and there was a
Speaker 1: disagreement between the hosts and bar Stools, feeling like they
Speaker 1: weren't owed enough money. Now here's some cool facts, just
Speaker 1: interesting baseline that you need to know. So what I
Speaker 1: p addresses your intellectual property, which is basically the idea.
Speaker 1: It can just then the name excuse me, but it
Speaker 1: can also be the idea. So, for example, horrible decisions.
Speaker 1: If you remember, Mandy, where was it a year ago?
Speaker 1: So no, two years ago, somebody wanted us to sell
Speaker 1: our Patreon episodes and put bonus content with them. And
Speaker 1: that wasn't that wasn't comparable to what we've been making nothing. Now,
Speaker 1: I wasn't even that much. It was fifty. It was fifty,
Speaker 1: which wasn't even what we make. It was fifty plus
Speaker 1: a bonus if we reached a certain amount of subscriber.
Speaker 1: Here's this interesting part Mandy and I started saying, which
Speaker 1: was which is a really interesting part to call her daddy.
Speaker 1: We were like, well, we'll just make our own Patreon
Speaker 1: is Mandy and wheezy. Fuck it. Now, bar Stool not
Speaker 1: only bought call her Daddy, but they bought I can't
Speaker 1: remember the word but the concept alexand many of them,
Speaker 1: the likeness Alex and Sophia can't go out and do
Speaker 1: something else, which was pretty dumb, not not not saying
Speaker 1: that they did was dumb because bar stools huge, They
Speaker 1: had nobody yet, so why not let this happen? Now
Speaker 1: the podcast makes money. They give him a seventy thousand
Speaker 1: dollar base, and it makes money from merch from ad
Speaker 1: sales and am I forgetting something else? So they get
Speaker 1: they also get a bonus. Um, so they did. They
Speaker 1: weren't getting the ad revenue, that's the thing they were getting.
Speaker 1: They got a bonus based on every ten percent above
Speaker 1: whatever whatever to a million dollars between the two of
Speaker 1: them starting No, no, no, it was five d each
Speaker 1: the first year. The first year, it was like it
Speaker 1: was like they split basically like a million dollar back. Now.
Speaker 1: So here's what's interesting. Um, seventy thousand was the base.
Speaker 1: They want more now immediately, I'll be real when I
Speaker 1: found out that they made half a million each on
Speaker 1: the first year and had nothing before. Are still and
Speaker 1: like you signed a bad deal. Suck it up, You're
Speaker 1: gonna be big in three years anyway, Who cares? But
Speaker 1: I'm feeling two ways about this. When Dave portnoy I
Speaker 1: got on the show and said I want them back
Speaker 1: because I'm already missed out on four hundred thousand, I'm like, okay,
Speaker 1: four weeks, four hundred thousand. Then this show makes a
Speaker 1: hundred grand a week, a lot of money. Of course
Speaker 1: you want more than five grand. However, they offered it
Speaker 1: back to the girls. So what happened was the girls
Speaker 1: wanted their i P, which was of course the worth
Speaker 1: of the brand. The most important thing is your trademark.
Speaker 1: I believe you never know what you'll brandon be. It's
Speaker 1: it's important to keep that. So they offered these girls
Speaker 1: their i P back six years less out of their contract,
Speaker 1: right months, six months last out of their sorry, six
Speaker 1: months lest out of their contract, and a half a
Speaker 1: million dollar base, and they're still saying no and have
Speaker 1: Now this is where I said, I think the whiteness
Speaker 1: really matters, the nerve of you to sign this bad
Speaker 1: deal on your own, not come to work. They offer
Speaker 1: what you're asking, and then you're still like fuck you
Speaker 1: and breaching the contract. How So, it's crazy because this,
Speaker 1: to me is comparable to what Meg the Stallion is
Speaker 1: even doing right now. Um. She she got a better
Speaker 1: management with rock Nation, and now they're like, you're in
Speaker 1: a bad deal with Carl and everybody on that side,
Speaker 1: so we want to get you out of this deal.
Speaker 1: The thing is, and I think it's been important for
Speaker 1: what Weezy and I have done. We've seen our growth
Speaker 1: over year one, year two, and year three to where
Speaker 1: we know like, we don't want to sign any multi
Speaker 1: milk like multi year deal seeing what people are offering
Speaker 1: if it's not what we think we can do by ourselves. Um.
Speaker 1: And I think that they just hopped into this early.
Speaker 1: But regardless, you do have to once you sign that ship,
Speaker 1: which is what Dave kept saying, I'll see the ship
Speaker 1: out of you. So they're locked bro for the next
Speaker 1: two years. They're not gonna be able to do ship together.
Speaker 1: Girl got on Instagram talking about I wanted to do
Speaker 1: the show again. I bet you do. What are yours?
Speaker 1: They are? But here's the thing. They made a mistake.
Speaker 1: Like I've been them before, they may the mistake that
Speaker 1: a lot of people make. Right like me coming off
Speaker 1: the tour bus going into t MZ. I don't really
Speaker 1: have the leverage to to to sit down and dictate
Speaker 1: terms to them. By the time my last contract to
Speaker 1: TMZ was coming up, I was saying, Okay, I'll even
Speaker 1: go do something else unless you give me that. But
Speaker 1: while I was there, I was completely in totally exclusive
Speaker 1: to them. Anything that wasn't carved out, they could tell
Speaker 1: me straight up you can't do it. TMZ could take
Speaker 1: my face, put it on the billboard. Take my face,
Speaker 1: and my face has been on billboards, my face has
Speaker 1: been on flyers, my face has been on commercials, my
Speaker 1: face has been in a in a fucking casino slot machine,
Speaker 1: all of that stuff. Basically, whenever they wanted to, they
Speaker 1: for that time they owned my talent for the time
Speaker 1: that I was there with them. What happened was they
Speaker 1: go early on, they go and they they they they
Speaker 1: negotiate back and forth with bar Stool about the i P.
Speaker 1: They knew they wanted it, They always knew they wanted
Speaker 1: their i P, but they didn't feel like they had
Speaker 1: the muscle initially to negotiate. And maybe they didn't they
Speaker 1: but they obviously didn't. So here's the theme to anyone
Speaker 1: out there that's listening, what do you do that you're fucked? Okay?
Speaker 1: If you have an i P that you feel like
Speaker 1: it's gonna last. It is gonna last and give you
Speaker 1: generational wealth, something that you're gonna be able to go
Speaker 1: back and draw. Once you made the decision to sell it,
Speaker 1: they own it. Now. You can use the great success
Speaker 1: of your show to come back and releverage as much
Speaker 1: as you can, but they never ever ever have to
Speaker 1: fucking play ball with you once you do that. So
Speaker 1: selling the IP, making the decision to sell your I
Speaker 1: P is a monumental undertaking. I really like what you're saying,
Speaker 1: because I recently sold a pilot right, something I wrote,
Speaker 1: sold it to a production company that is going is
Speaker 1: trying to get it pitched right, And I want to
Speaker 1: talk about the difference between I what I sold an
Speaker 1: I P because someone wrote me and I was like, well,
Speaker 1: didn't you just sell something and say you can't touch it? Well,
Speaker 1: here's the difference. That series right has stipulations. If it
Speaker 1: gets picked up, I have writer's credit, I can be
Speaker 1: in the cast, I'm an executive producer on it. I'm
Speaker 1: a part of the show that was something that I wanted. Now, huh.
Speaker 1: Union in the case of something exactly now, if they
Speaker 1: start making merch and something like that, like, sure, I
Speaker 1: understand that I sold that. However, I did say, let's
Speaker 1: just say a base number of a hundred bucks. If
Speaker 1: I get a hundred bucks for a year, you have
Speaker 1: to sell this. Now if you do sell it that
Speaker 1: hundred dollars, ten dollars something like that. Right, you're allowed
Speaker 1: to do those two. But that series I sold is
Speaker 1: just one piece. It's not an I P. Now selling
Speaker 1: horrible decisions, let's say as a TV show, and I
Speaker 1: had to sell that name. That's an i P. Which
Speaker 1: was why I love what Jesus and Marrow have done
Speaker 1: because Podega boys when I look at them, that's what
Speaker 1: I say, because that is that initial fan base. But
Speaker 1: Jesus and Marrow the name, they were able to just
Speaker 1: take it and make it a show and not haven't
Speaker 1: touched that podcast brand, which was very smart too. I mean,
Speaker 1: people all the time make bad decisions with their product. Now,
Speaker 1: I want to just make one more example just to
Speaker 1: show you how you can get fucked as a podcaster.
Speaker 1: And it is really important because it happened to me
Speaker 1: two hours ago. For facts sake, got on Newton Noteworthy.
Speaker 1: It's a podcast I just started with a friend Eddie
Speaker 1: four weeks ago. Whenever a podcast is charting, anyone can
Speaker 1: hit you up right, it's a it's a B two
Speaker 1: B service, it's a sales team. They're like, who do
Speaker 1: we get? Who can we sell ads to? Okay, they're going,
Speaker 1: let's get them. They're new. This person has written me
Speaker 1: and Mandy a total of four times over the course
Speaker 1: of three years. I've looked up their name in our
Speaker 1: email right literally wrote us a few months ago, told
Speaker 1: me that we have to sign a contract for a year.
Speaker 1: We get seventy ads. Actually not bad, but if there's
Speaker 1: an AD that contacts me or an AD that I
Speaker 1: found on my own, I gotta give them. I said,
Speaker 1: hold of, So, what did you think me and Mandy
Speaker 1: were gonna do when you wrote us? I said you didn't.
Speaker 1: You weren't gonna have that energy for me and Mandy
Speaker 1: though I know that, So why would you do that
Speaker 1: for this podcast? I'm the same person. She's like, well, well,
Speaker 1: I I don't I don't know what I wrote you.
Speaker 1: I said, oh, you wrote me the same email. So
Speaker 1: because horrible decisions had some weight, you would have been
Speaker 1: more lenient. But because we've been around for four weeks,
Speaker 1: you think I would have signed this. And that's the
Speaker 1: thing about people that hold out. We've watched it with
Speaker 1: the Joe Budding podcast, the Joe Rogan podcast. When people
Speaker 1: hold it and hold it and you grow your own worth,
Speaker 1: you can have more leverage because I probably won't have
Speaker 1: leverage for this new podcast. But let me get on
Speaker 1: that phone with her tomorrow, with Mandy on the phone
Speaker 1: discuss horrible decisions. Oh you think she's about to talk
Speaker 1: to me about how if we find something it's not ours,
Speaker 1: get the funk out of here. And that's the thing
Speaker 1: that that really happened with this is when Portnoy was
Speaker 1: on there, he explained and not even he expected their
Speaker 1: podcast to be as big as what it was. Right,
Speaker 1: So when the podcast gets to the level that it
Speaker 1: is and it's it's apparently a huge podcast. I'm not
Speaker 1: gonna lie I had never heard of it before, but
Speaker 1: apparently it's a huge, huge podcast. Right. You have earned
Speaker 1: the right to come back and ask for some things
Speaker 1: that they maybe didn't give you before. But the bottom
Speaker 1: the bottom line is but to not show up and
Speaker 1: not record like they're gonna tell you, go funk yourself
Speaker 1: in that situation. If you don't come at it with
Speaker 1: a business mind. If you bring your emotions to that discussion,
Speaker 1: you're going to lose because they got your paperwork. The
Speaker 1: paperwork is going to be the most important part to
Speaker 1: how successful you're going to be in the long term
Speaker 1: with your idea. If you give your ideal way, somebody
Speaker 1: else fucking owns it. And so either those girls, those women,
Speaker 1: those ladies either they got to figure out a way
Speaker 1: how to make that ship right with them or they're
Speaker 1: not gonna get paid off the ship that they built up.
Speaker 1: Urge to see what happened to them, because as a woman,
Speaker 1: I mean not that I think what they're doing is right,
Speaker 1: but that was hard to watch just to know that
Speaker 1: they're gonna funk them. They're gonna sue the funk out
Speaker 1: of these girls. They're they're not gonna hold up in court.
Speaker 1: I actually but because I want to get into the
Speaker 1: vanilla ship. UM. I know that we don't normally talk
Speaker 1: about the business side of things here, but definitely with
Speaker 1: so much going on and so many people looking to
Speaker 1: start podcast, UM. I recently just did something with DJ
Speaker 1: Rose Gold. We had a mix there were um literally
Speaker 1: the advice was, if you're gonna start this podcast, thing,
Speaker 1: whether it's for a hobby or to monetize it. I
Speaker 1: think to look at it as a million dollar business.
Speaker 1: Think that you're gonna see a million dollars in the
Speaker 1: first year and operated as such. So get a partnership agreement,
Speaker 1: figure out your expenses, figure out how you're gonna go
Speaker 1: about UM delegating responsibilities. I think that that's very important
Speaker 1: UM to start off with. And I do want to
Speaker 1: get into the Vanilla ship because we save this topic
Speaker 1: just for van We wanted to get a male perspective
Speaker 1: on this UM so our vanilla ship for this week.
Speaker 1: I want to read it. Um Complex wrote on it.
Speaker 1: All of you guys have seen this nonsense if you're
Speaker 1: on Twitter, if you have any sort of technology at
Speaker 1: the palm of your fingertips. Boosty Rapper Boosey Badass bass
Speaker 1: backlash after claiming he got grown women to give his
Speaker 1: underage son oral sex so around the age of twelve
Speaker 1: and thirteen, he let it be known in an Instagram
Speaker 1: live that the same women he was fucking he made
Speaker 1: sure went and sucked his son's dick. We've heard him
Speaker 1: speak a lot on the parenting of Dwyane Wade and
Speaker 1: how he allies that what is Zio Wade zire Wade
Speaker 1: uh starts with a Z, but how Dwyane Wade allows
Speaker 1: allows his son to, you know, kind of be gender fluid,
Speaker 1: and how he wants to be represented. Boothy came on
Speaker 1: and pretty much was like, well, my son's gonna be straight.
Speaker 1: So I have grown women sucking their dick. So I
Speaker 1: wanted to talk to you about this because my problem
Speaker 1: actually with this is when we when when I went
Speaker 1: on Twitter and started reading the comments, a lot of
Speaker 1: men were like, I wish this happened to me. Um,
Speaker 1: And I think the conversation is more so where men
Speaker 1: don't view this as sexual assault and it really is.
Speaker 1: UM and so Van as a man and UM and
Speaker 1: you've been you know, we're gonna talk a lot about
Speaker 1: sex and kind of with you through way porn addiction.
Speaker 1: We're gonna get into all of that. But I want
Speaker 1: to know, as as a black man specifically, what are
Speaker 1: your thoughts with one of I guess our culture leaders,
Speaker 1: um talking about this and and yeah, just share your
Speaker 1: thoughts on what's going on. So full disclosure, I've known
Speaker 1: Boosty for a long long time. We went to high
Speaker 1: school together. UM, and so Yeah, mat Rouge mckilly hide
Speaker 1: like his big brother to Corey was a wash I'd say,
Speaker 1: a friend of mine, um throughout middle school, high school,
Speaker 1: and then on into college. Uh. And then Boosty came
Speaker 1: in and we whoped together, play basketball together. I've watched
Speaker 1: his career the whole time, been knowing Boosty. So here's
Speaker 1: the thing about this, UM, I think that there are
Speaker 1: two things that play. Number One, there there's a there's
Speaker 1: a level that the toxic masculinity goes to where it's
Speaker 1: inherently abusive. Right, not not just in this case, but
Speaker 1: in all other cases. The way men treat each other,
Speaker 1: the expectations we have each other of each other, we
Speaker 1: subconsciously abuse each other all the time. UM. By by
Speaker 1: putting these sort of rules in place. Another thing that
Speaker 1: really bothers me about what Boosey said was this Boosey
Speaker 1: is not only if that's true, not only is he
Speaker 1: abusing his children sexually, UM, abusing his son sexually, abusing
Speaker 1: whatever other kids sexually, He's also informing them about women
Speaker 1: in a really dangerous way. What he is saying is
Speaker 1: that a woman exists too. Uh. Initiate, reinforce, and validate
Speaker 1: your manhood. So you're a child, right, You're a kid.
Speaker 1: In order for you to get to a certain point,
Speaker 1: this woman has to do this for you. UH, and
Speaker 1: that ushers you into the club that the rest of
Speaker 1: us are in. UM. When you cast women in that role,
Speaker 1: it is impossible to uncast them when you start doing
Speaker 1: for the rest of your life. UH is using women
Speaker 1: to gratify or build you up in different ways, and
Speaker 1: then they become not people. They become not people that
Speaker 1: exist with their own dreams, their own hopes, their own fears,
Speaker 1: their own insecurities. They become objects to reinforce whatever it
Speaker 1: is that you believe or want to believe about yourself.
Speaker 1: I love Wokeman so much. I just feel like he
Speaker 1: is just you are, like the better doctor. But even
Speaker 1: even what you're saying, it's interesting because clearly this isn't
Speaker 1: what's put on too you know, young girls. Clearly we're
Speaker 1: told to keep our our cookie to ourselves. There's all
Speaker 1: these names used. You know, Moms definitely aren't going out
Speaker 1: making sure we get grown dick to make sure we're straight.
Speaker 1: That's not a thing that's that's given to us. But
Speaker 1: I think it's interesting because I was having a recent
Speaker 1: conversation and and I'm not sure where it's taught, but
Speaker 1: so much for men, the end goal is sex. Men
Speaker 1: take women on dates because they hope they can get
Speaker 1: pussy at the end. They go about doing things that
Speaker 1: they lie, they manipulate in I guess you know, response
Speaker 1: to hoping that they get pussy at the end. There's
Speaker 1: no other end goal with a woman except for sex.
Speaker 1: So what you're saying is is exactly right. And that's
Speaker 1: exactly what Boossy is doing. Now. I want to ask
Speaker 1: you because another instance that I saw, we see a
Speaker 1: lot of the teachers, a lot of the teachers in
Speaker 1: the news are coming out that they're all se messing
Speaker 1: with kids, and men in their minds are saying, damn,
Speaker 1: I wish that happened to me. Do you know why
Speaker 1: there's no inkling to sexual assault when it comes to
Speaker 1: young boys. We know what it is of sexual assault
Speaker 1: for women, of course, we've all experienced it, we've talked
Speaker 1: about it, but men aren't talking about the sexual assault
Speaker 1: that it's happening to them. Why is that? Well? Number one,
Speaker 1: because sex is so such an aspirational thing. I remember
Speaker 1: my father, who was a great dad, and by the way,
Speaker 1: I don't think Bootsey even knows that what he was
Speaker 1: doing was abused. I don't think that he I don't
Speaker 1: think that he would do anything that he thought was
Speaker 1: abusing his his kids. I don't think he even knows.
Speaker 1: I remember my dad told me. My dad asked me
Speaker 1: one time I was fifteen, He's like, have you got
Speaker 1: any pussy yet? And I was like, well, you saw
Speaker 1: me jacking off to the Jam Jackson screen video. You
Speaker 1: know that I'm not getting any pussy. Like so, like,
Speaker 1: what what are you talking about? Like you know I haven't,
Speaker 1: I'm not. I'm like no, He's okay, well you know
Speaker 1: you need to take care of that by time you're sixteen.
Speaker 1: And I'm like what. He goes, well, if you're a
Speaker 1: Lathan man, like you shouldn't be a virgin when you're sixteen,
Speaker 1: Like so go figure that out. And and and for me,
Speaker 1: that's like that funk with me because I was thinking, yo,
Speaker 1: with my brothers and my dad and everybody else, am
Speaker 1: I the weak link? If no one wants to sleep
Speaker 1: with me? And it becomes did you lose it? And
Speaker 1: until I was seventeen, so um so like for me personally,
Speaker 1: I look at like sexist seen as such an asperse
Speaker 1: and when and by the way, I can't speak to women,
Speaker 1: but there's something that overnight fucking happens to you when
Speaker 1: you're like eleven or two. No not I mean no,
Speaker 1: I'm not that you started sucking, but like every fucking
Speaker 1: thing ship that you never noticed before just becomes It's
Speaker 1: it's like, yo, I remember, like one day I just
Speaker 1: discovered titties and I was like, and it was it
Speaker 1: was weird because I knew that titties were there, but
Speaker 1: I didn't think that they were actual titties. So did
Speaker 1: you see a move or something? Yeah, And then I
Speaker 1: was like, and then you didn't jump, and you were like,
Speaker 1: I was thinking to myself, yo, her titties are onto it.
Speaker 1: And it changed my life because I was thinking, under
Speaker 1: that shirt, there's a brawl, and then under that brawl
Speaker 1: they're true titties. And so for the rest of the time,
Speaker 1: I remember, I was like in the sixth and seventh grade,
Speaker 1: I was trying to see a titty. My whole day
Speaker 1: was just about how can I see the most of
Speaker 1: a titty? That's the possible that I could see, And
Speaker 1: I never forget. I'm not like like like like we're
Speaker 1: at the p classes, we're playing soccer, and it was
Speaker 1: a girl. She was I know her name, but I'm
Speaker 1: not gonna say it all here. Thank you. She somebody
Speaker 1: somebody snapped her bra and when they snapped her bra,
Speaker 1: her ship was so big that the brawl broke and
Speaker 1: then the titties fell in the shirt and they were
Speaker 1: free sexual assaults. I was. It was a girl that
Speaker 1: snapped the bra. I was. I was fucking done. I remember.
Speaker 1: That's what I had to have a conversation with my
Speaker 1: dad about that. I didn't even no, no, but no.
Speaker 1: So so when I'm saying there, can you say what aide? You? Where?
Speaker 1: You said eleven? At that point I was, I'll say,
Speaker 1: it's funny that you say that, because so when I
Speaker 1: was in fifth grade, I was on the morning announcements
Speaker 1: and it wasn't shut up, shut up up. I gave
Speaker 1: the morning announcements in both middle there is a spot
Speaker 1: behind the jungle gym that no one can see. You
Speaker 1: Can you not give children where to go and and
Speaker 1: fill each other up? No? So it's crazy because I
Speaker 1: was on the morning announcements and it wasn't until so
Speaker 1: when I was in fifth grade, I started filling out
Speaker 1: my braw a little bit more, and I remember the
Speaker 1: boys that was the grade they started taking notice of
Speaker 1: my titties. So I think that's about ten or eleven
Speaker 1: years old, and I remember like being so embarrassed that
Speaker 1: they would talk about the size of my my breast
Speaker 1: as a fifth As a fifth grader, so I remember
Speaker 1: um going onto the morning announcements and sitting like of
Speaker 1: course there was a table in front of me, and
Speaker 1: I would slouch so that my tips were covered by
Speaker 1: my arms on the table just so that people couldn't
Speaker 1: see my cleavage as a fifth grader, because the boys
Speaker 1: were definitely into titties, I must have been a hole
Speaker 1: right in the elementary because I was kissing for cookies.
Speaker 1: I was, I was serious, what kind of cookies? You?
Speaker 1: Was like, like what kind of I gotta know what
Speaker 1: kind of because if you for animal crackers and like
Speaker 1: what kind of cookies? That's that's like they were like
Speaker 1: cafeteria cookies. But we all we all only got one.
Speaker 1: And I knew these boys wanted to you know, kids.
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, yeah, you was made. I'm telling you.
Speaker 1: My mom found out. Oh my, and here I am.
Speaker 1: How'd your mom found out that you was hold for
Speaker 1: cookies because the teacher said something because like nobody had
Speaker 1: cookies and I probably had bo I'm that um my
Speaker 1: point by saying that, So this is my point. My
Speaker 1: point is, so you have an intense biological imperative. Your
Speaker 1: body is telling you sex sex sex, sex, sex, sex, sex,
Speaker 1: sex sex sex sex, and that's uncontrollable, right, like for
Speaker 1: most guys, uh that that I've talked to, that's uncontrollable.
Speaker 1: And what you need in that situation as a young
Speaker 1: man is you need somebody that can establish a healthy
Speaker 1: relationship of what sex is supposed to look like and
Speaker 1: how it's supposed to do. You don't need someone going yo,
Speaker 1: my nigga, take off, go get it. And so because
Speaker 1: of that, um, sex becomes like something that that that
Speaker 1: makes your manhood. It becomes something that like you know,
Speaker 1: you like a like a notch on your belt. And
Speaker 1: you think any sex is appropriate sex. You think any
Speaker 1: sex is good sex. You think so you think that
Speaker 1: like of course you wouldn't think that there was anything
Speaker 1: wrong with having sex with a teacher. What could be better?
Speaker 1: You know what I mean? Like that's a grown woman
Speaker 1: that's probably the best sex. So meanwhile, with women, we
Speaker 1: we the dynamic gets changed because we see women as
Speaker 1: not quite that way, we see them as more sexually vulnerable.
Speaker 1: And now I think that people want to protect girls
Speaker 1: more than they do little boys all the time because
Speaker 1: because of the hyper sexuality of men as well. I
Speaker 1: do want to say something that you you you said,
Speaker 1: and I'm not saying that you're using it as an excuse,
Speaker 1: but I know you know this person, so of course
Speaker 1: you've probably got a softer spot in your heart for him.
Speaker 1: But when you mentioned like Boosey didn't know what he
Speaker 1: was doing was abuse or in essence means he didn't
Speaker 1: know what he was doing was wrong, I don't really
Speaker 1: believe that, And I'll tell you why I think that. People.
Speaker 1: For example, he used the argument that isn't Zaiah. What
Speaker 1: the fuck is their daughter's name? Zaia? Maybe zah okay,
Speaker 1: so doing we then Gabby's daughter, right? So Zia? Um?
Speaker 1: Who is? We don't even know if she's trans. I
Speaker 1: wouldn't even use the word like queen or no, does
Speaker 1: she identify his trans? Know she identified? She wants to
Speaker 1: identify as a woman, But there's no talk whatsoever. Boosty
Speaker 1: used the argument over and over that she doesn't know
Speaker 1: about her own sexuality yet because she's too young. So
Speaker 1: that's not what he said. Okay, what do he saying?
Speaker 1: So like what what he said was And by the way,
Speaker 1: I'm not in any way defending Boosty. What Boosey said
Speaker 1: was indefensible. What I'm saying is that, well, what he
Speaker 1: said about Duane Wade's kid was don't cut his dick off? Right, Yeah,
Speaker 1: but he was saying, how do you know so he
Speaker 1: didn't have any conversation like that, because I feel like
Speaker 1: I remember those well what he was saying, the main
Speaker 1: point was don't cut his dick off, Dwyane way, And
Speaker 1: that's never been a conversation. But if he wants to
Speaker 1: go back and fun women when he gets older, nobody,
Speaker 1: nobody has ever had that conversation that I know of.
Speaker 1: I don't know what they're having a conversation as a family,
Speaker 1: but there's never been any talk about any surgeries or
Speaker 1: anything like that. Um, their daughter is uh dealing with
Speaker 1: a lot of things coming at them at the same time,
Speaker 1: and they're choosing to be what they should be, which
Speaker 1: is supportive parents. I'm not giving him an out. What
Speaker 1: I'm saying, is that anything that he gets from saying
Speaker 1: what he said is deserved, Like that's something that's discussing.
Speaker 1: But at the same time, there is uh pervasive said
Speaker 1: of ideas and behaviors that go along with men thinking
Speaker 1: that women having sex is some kind of way like
Speaker 1: accessing their manhood. And Louisiana Baton Rouge p D would
Speaker 1: be at his fucking door he has a daughter if
Speaker 1: he said that he had a guy comeing fuck his
Speaker 1: daughter to make sure that she wasn't gay. So it's
Speaker 1: just a weird thing on how we prioritize little boys
Speaker 1: over a little girl, I mean little girls over little boys,
Speaker 1: and it's and it's frankly very sad. But I think
Speaker 1: the main thing about is Dayah, we gotta figure out
Speaker 1: her name. Is It is clearly more unhealthy that you're
Speaker 1: forcing sex on a kid more than you are letting
Speaker 1: them change their clothes. And I don't know you guys
Speaker 1: know this, but I just want to go through this
Speaker 1: really quickly. You cannot remove genitals or do anything like
Speaker 1: that on a twelve year old kid. You can't even
Speaker 1: start um hormonal Zaiah, Okay, thank you, Vincent. You can't
Speaker 1: even start like hormone treatment until I believe it's like
Speaker 1: sixteen or seventeen, so like this is all super preliminary.
Speaker 1: It's it's it's not something that's in discussion yet. And
Speaker 1: I think that is obsession with masculinity. I think it's
Speaker 1: an obsession. Um. And before we get into the hope facts, um,
Speaker 1: I think it's weird how we have such an obsession
Speaker 1: with sexuality with children. I think it's done to young
Speaker 1: girls really quickly based on what they wear. I think
Speaker 1: that we sexualize children more than children sexualize themselves, and
Speaker 1: they have no clue, right. And I think it's fucking
Speaker 1: discussing that we are putting sex onto these children instead
Speaker 1: of just allowing them to simply be children. There's a
Speaker 1: popular video with the guy who's on the pole, uh,
Speaker 1: swinging around. He's an instructor. I don't know if you
Speaker 1: guys have seen it. It's actually really adorable. He's like,
Speaker 1: let's do it again. Look kid, kid can't be more
Speaker 1: than three. And they're not playing any kind of music
Speaker 1: that feels sexual. He's wearing regular clothes. There's nothing porno
Speaker 1: looking about it, and to me, it seems like exercise.
Speaker 1: Not to mention, there's a fucking pole on the playground.
Speaker 1: Speaking of fire poles whose fire alarm went off, that's
Speaker 1: your firelarm. Let's take a ship. Um Well, no, I
Speaker 1: totally um agree with you, Van. I wanna um jump
Speaker 1: into our now hole facs. So the next two conversations
Speaker 1: that we're gonna have with you are ones that I've
Speaker 1: really wanted to have with you. So our whole facts
Speaker 1: segment is where we pull out weird facts about sex
Speaker 1: and for you specifically, because you've been so open in
Speaker 1: the conversation, I wanted to have the conversation about porn addiction.
Speaker 1: We've talked about only fans. We've talked about how you
Speaker 1: literally go onto your Twitter and see porn, but not
Speaker 1: only that. We've talked about how porn Hub has given
Speaker 1: you free premium during the quarantine. Um. But there are
Speaker 1: some effects to porn addiction, and you have talked about
Speaker 1: your experience with it, so I wanted to give some
Speaker 1: facts before we get into kind of your experience with
Speaker 1: porn um. The one of the facts that I thought
Speaker 1: was very interesting is that addiction to pornographic material is
Speaker 1: not just limited to porn videos. This comes from addiction
Speaker 1: a HQ dot Org UM, and it says that the
Speaker 1: action a person has towards pornographic material may not just
Speaker 1: be limited to peorgn videos and other content available on
Speaker 1: porn websites. This addiction for porn would translate into their
Speaker 1: real life as well as they would want to quench
Speaker 1: the thirst by trying newer alternatives. UM. So it's saying
Speaker 1: that other other things include um starting from content on
Speaker 1: the internet and move onto a stage where the addict
Speaker 1: would not be able to control their thirsts for porn
Speaker 1: in specific and sexual activity in general. You've got a
Speaker 1: lot of annoised ship going on over the event. That's
Speaker 1: not that's not you? Who is it? Y'all heard that
Speaker 1: bitch of a you bitch and ain't me. I ain't
Speaker 1: got nothing going on, prison bits and goddamnit no anyways,
Speaker 1: So I wanted to talk to you, um if you can,
Speaker 1: um how you think porn is healthy, but also how
Speaker 1: you think it is unhealthy and which part of that
Speaker 1: you think you experienced, because I'll be honest with you
Speaker 1: before you get into your story, because I know you
Speaker 1: have like an in depth relationship with porn uh without
Speaker 1: actually doing porn. UM. I actually talk about how I
Speaker 1: used it to go to sleep. Um, it's been my routine,
Speaker 1: honestly for the last maybe eight years, Mandy saying it
Speaker 1: like she's it's been to me. If I don't watch
Speaker 1: porn and nut before I go to sleep, I have nightmares,
Speaker 1: or I just lay in bed and can't fall asleep.
Speaker 1: I haven't to bust a nut to fucking sleep. Okay, So, um,
Speaker 1: that doesn't mean you need porn, you know yourself? Because well, no,
Speaker 1: with with so with me, with masturbating. I can only
Speaker 1: masturbate visually, so I have my phone in one hand
Speaker 1: my toy and the other can't do it with my imagination.
Speaker 1: I know you've talked about being real imaginative and your
Speaker 1: goddamn mind before may have to watch porn. And so
Speaker 1: with the pandemic, nigga being at home all day, nigga,
Speaker 1: damn there rubbing my clip off McClinton is almost non existent.
Speaker 1: So I've now gotten to the point where it's almost
Speaker 1: like it's doing nothing for me. So wait, then, the
Speaker 1: last time we caught up, you were telling me how
Speaker 1: like or I don't know if you were telling me
Speaker 1: or we were talking about it, how you cut off porn. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I want to can you can you share that with
Speaker 1: us kind of your unhealthy relationship with it and why
Speaker 1: you have to cut it off? Yo, So like it
Speaker 1: got weird? So um here it got weird. Well, well
Speaker 1: here's the thing. Like when I like, I am, I
Speaker 1: represent like two or three different generations of form, right,
Speaker 1: So I'm like, so I'm being for real, it's a truth.
Speaker 1: Like I watched three decades of porn and a magazine.
Speaker 1: I got that. But see all this ship y'all saying
Speaker 1: it's all accurate, because here's it. Because because here's the thing.
Speaker 1: I come home, I want to watch WrestleMania, right, I
Speaker 1: want to watch Mestlemania. Go in my dad's room. The
Speaker 1: fucking VCR in the living room don't work. I try to,
Speaker 1: you know, put the WrestleMania tape and it won't take
Speaker 1: because already taping the VCR. When I played taping the VCR,
Speaker 1: they fucking Jimmy Z and ebony A's they fucking And
Speaker 1: I'm like, ship, now remember Jimmy Z sounds Jimmy Z.
Speaker 1: Now remember this and I remember this. Now this is
Speaker 1: doing at that same time, I'm twelve, So think about
Speaker 1: going from obsessing with titties in the shirt to sing
Speaker 1: two people funk. A lot of people would hold titties.
Speaker 1: A lot of people can deal with that. The obsessions
Speaker 1: started growing in Okay. So like for me, I think
Speaker 1: that I went through times in my life to where
Speaker 1: I did whatever it was the safest for me, you know.
Speaker 1: And so food was safe, like it was it was
Speaker 1: something that I would always be able to come back
Speaker 1: to and you knew it was gonna deliver and really
Speaker 1: poor and was safe. Like if you if you dial
Speaker 1: up the computer, you get on some poor and you
Speaker 1: see something, whatever you want to happen, it's going to
Speaker 1: dial up dial up, you know what I'm saying. Whatever
Speaker 1: you want to happen for yourself is gonna happen. Like
Speaker 1: I think where the addiction started started to become like
Speaker 1: a problem for me then and then a problem even
Speaker 1: uh sort of more recently, is when it's something that
Speaker 1: you feel like you kind of have to do that
Speaker 1: you can't live with that right or or like or
Speaker 1: or like you're not gonna have a regular day if
Speaker 1: every once in a while, see what I'm saying, especially
Speaker 1: being home, if I didn't masturbate at nights to put
Speaker 1: myself to sleep, I didn't sleep well, and before I
Speaker 1: got to bed in the morning, I was like, ship,
Speaker 1: I didn't watch porn last night, so let me make
Speaker 1: up for it. And I was watching porn at seven
Speaker 1: o'clock in the morning and busting off just because I
Speaker 1: felt like fun. I didn't go to sleep to it.
Speaker 1: Let me wake up to it. And that's when I
Speaker 1: was like, Okay, this ain't this ain't right. I don't
Speaker 1: really think. I don't know. I don't feel like porn
Speaker 1: is bad as long as you're not like taking it
Speaker 1: into real life and like, for example, like if you
Speaker 1: are into super hardcore sex and then you start slapping
Speaker 1: motherfucker's that you're fucking like, I think that's when it
Speaker 1: becomes bad. But as long as you think I'm peg
Speaker 1: the stallion. I think seven years of gay porn got
Speaker 1: me to where I am now, and I feel like, fuck,
Speaker 1: it's ruining my sex lack. But I think I think
Speaker 1: anything that you overdo, right, yes, So like so for
Speaker 1: me this computer, like I can't use this as a
Speaker 1: fucking pornographic machine all day. I got a right. I
Speaker 1: ended it ended up being to a situation for me
Speaker 1: to wear What do you do you use your TV, Like, No,
Speaker 1: in order for me to get writing done, I had
Speaker 1: to go to a public place, you know what I'm saying. Yeah,
Speaker 1: because if I opened it, if I was opening in
Speaker 1: the computer, my Dick was like, all right, let's go.
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying. What you mean, have you
Speaker 1: been watching porn? Yeah a little bit. Yeah, it's a
Speaker 1: lot of hours in a day. Yeah, a little bit,
Speaker 1: but like not like I was before. Not like are
Speaker 1: you watching twerking porn still or have you graduated? What
Speaker 1: was it? What was your what was your porn preference?
Speaker 1: So everyone knows mine is gay porn. We need this
Speaker 1: boot cocky and cream pies. What is your porn choice?
Speaker 1: Big butt twork porn? Yes, big butts work porn? Actual
Speaker 1: fucking or is it just dancing? Sometimes? But like but
Speaker 1: but what you have to understand it's like for me
Speaker 1: personally and sometimes sometimes there is even but even like
Speaker 1: it's like because you think the ass obsession is so significant,
Speaker 1: it's hard for me to watch like other positions. Besides,
Speaker 1: like Carl girl, have you dated women with big asses?
Speaker 1: Or this doesn't try like go into real life like
Speaker 1: this something in the past, but no, no, no, but
Speaker 1: is this something that's like you need Like for us,
Speaker 1: we need niggs with money. Do you need ass? It's
Speaker 1: not about not necessarily, I don't need a niggle with
Speaker 1: a big dick. Sorry, it's what I like so to
Speaker 1: like So when you date even or like preference wise,
Speaker 1: have you felt over the years because of porn it's
Speaker 1: kind of messed with you wanting a woman with big tits,
Speaker 1: are wanting a woman with a big ask because this
Speaker 1: is how you get off? Well, I mean, yeah, it's there.
Speaker 1: There's something to be said from being from the South.
Speaker 1: I haven't been with too many women that don't don't
Speaker 1: have nice butts. You know, the girl has a nice butt,
Speaker 1: So like it's it's not it's not, is it when
Speaker 1: you come from the South. The women that I would see,
Speaker 1: that's true, the women like from the South, the women
Speaker 1: that I would the women that I would say, I
Speaker 1: want to be honest with you. But like like when
Speaker 1: when when I like kind of got to college and
Speaker 1: people were like, yo, man, you know who the finest
Speaker 1: chicken the world is, the finest white girl, I'll be like,
Speaker 1: who would'd be like Angelina Jolie. I'll be like, hell, no, beautiful,
Speaker 1: but Scarlett Johnson got it like that I can do
Speaker 1: with I like my little thick girls, but even with men,
Speaker 1: whirl Man, do you have to that's the game. I
Speaker 1: gotta pick a white girl. Julia Fox who Carmen, a lecturer,
Speaker 1: is white, right, yeah, she's not white enough. We need
Speaker 1: wi for the game, a whier person that I think
Speaker 1: is fine that I would fuck like and eat her,
Speaker 1: little white, little pink pussy. I try to think about it. Um. Oh,
Speaker 1: you know what, because she's I think she's really good looking.
Speaker 1: I hate her talent, but iggy Azalia, bitch, I'll be
Speaker 1: double talent. You just got canceled. God damn, I couldn't
Speaker 1: be less attracted like it. Literally, it is so wild.
Speaker 1: The body whoever her doctor is this picture dog. That
Speaker 1: bitch is beautiful. You know, Okay, she doesn't look that.
Speaker 1: Don't do that right. She look a little exotic bitch,
Speaker 1: one of them blackfishing as white girl. She's a spicy
Speaker 1: white um. Anyways, no, um, So basically, why or before
Speaker 1: we get into the horrible decision, which I'm super excited
Speaker 1: to get into because I've saved this topic just for
Speaker 1: your ass um, what tips would you give to somebody
Speaker 1: that thinks that they may be addicted to porn. They
Speaker 1: can just say it, but maybe not that much. Like, well,
Speaker 1: what I'm saying is, like, you know, like the first
Speaker 1: thing that I would say to anyone that's trying to
Speaker 1: get a hold on anything is don't cut it out
Speaker 1: cold turkey, just try to limit it. I looked up
Speaker 1: one time and I had I had membership to Browsers
Speaker 1: two Bang Bros. To Reality Kings. You was paying for
Speaker 1: all this? Yeah, those twelve minute videos up. I pay.
Speaker 1: I pay for all of it. Number One, I paid
Speaker 1: because I support I'm a fan fan. Number two, I
Speaker 1: pay because I want everything and the best quality when
Speaker 1: I want it. So I don't like, I don't want
Speaker 1: to watch four K and I like to download this
Speaker 1: so I can get to the best part. I don't
Speaker 1: have to if my stream is downloading it. What I'm saying,
Speaker 1: So what I'm saying this folder. Yes, I mean from
Speaker 1: being guys, but I don't know what I'm saying. No,
Speaker 1: what I'm saying is this though. What I'm saying is seriously, though,
Speaker 1: once it starts to kind of rear its ugly head
Speaker 1: in your relationship or in your uh, in your life,
Speaker 1: you really have to kind of established limits and they
Speaker 1: just will go down from there. Fans like seven, you
Speaker 1: guys know how I knew Van was in a trinking
Speaker 1: porn not from he said it on his podcast. That's
Speaker 1: how I found out. But this is how I really
Speaker 1: found out because I too, am nasty and they pop
Speaker 1: up on my explore page, and the only person that
Speaker 1: would follow these pages it would have one neutual and
Speaker 1: it was Van fucking Lateen Niggad. I was like, ye, Nick,
Speaker 1: it's I'm not gonna category coming. There are guys that
Speaker 1: every time I used to follow one of those, because
Speaker 1: I don't really follow them anymore, but every time I
Speaker 1: will follow one of those, I would see their name
Speaker 1: down there too, and I would be like, my nigga
Speaker 1: and some of them are big stars and they know
Speaker 1: who I'm talking about. But you know, this is why
Speaker 1: I know me and my my gay my gay homeboys
Speaker 1: they call. They say that I am a gay man
Speaker 1: trapped in a woman body because we've like in all
Speaker 1: the same nigga's pictures and I'd be like, Nigga, we
Speaker 1: got the same type. And I'll be following all these
Speaker 1: minutes and we'll be arguing about whose team these niggas
Speaker 1: is really on and I'm like, listen, they'd be like, sorry,
Speaker 1: he plays for me. So let me tell you. Me
Speaker 1: and Bennie, some of you guys have met Vine at
Speaker 1: our live show. He's one of my best friends. He's
Speaker 1: been on the show and he works with Mandy and
Speaker 1: Ana tour. Me and Bennie legit have played this game
Speaker 1: when we've seen men that are super attractive, right, I'll
Speaker 1: be like, bro, is he gay or not? He's like
Speaker 1: gay or European? Because the nigga dressed was so we
Speaker 1: gotta find out, right, So this is no bullshit how
Speaker 1: this should happened. One time, I think we were on
Speaker 1: a cruise together and I see this guy. He's dressed cutest,
Speaker 1: like fun, is he gay or not? So I go
Speaker 1: up to the guy right Benny's watching. I go up.
Speaker 1: I'm excuse me. Do you know the time the guy
Speaker 1: looks at his phone, he's like, it's m like five.
Speaker 1: I was like, I'm we Well, guys were probinally getting
Speaker 1: into this week's horrible decision. And and this is a
Speaker 1: conversation that Van and I had on his podcast. I
Speaker 1: think that it's very important to have because we've had
Speaker 1: so much body positivity, fat shaming, how weight affects your
Speaker 1: sex conversations, Yet we've never talked to a man and
Speaker 1: how weight affects him in dating and in the bedroom.
Speaker 1: And if you guys aren't familiar with Van's journey, Van,
Speaker 1: like myself, has gone through a drastic weight lost journey
Speaker 1: where he decided to get healthier and he's come forward
Speaker 1: with talking about how his weight affected him in dating
Speaker 1: and in sex um. But also, you know, we've been
Speaker 1: talked about as far as shaming chubbier men or thick men,
Speaker 1: and I know you hate the term thick. So I
Speaker 1: wanted to start off this conversation with asking you Van,
Speaker 1: if we can go back to before you lost your
Speaker 1: weight and started bagging all the bitches and we can
Speaker 1: talk about maybe some of your insecurities or how you
Speaker 1: felt weight affected you not only in the bedroom but
Speaker 1: with dating. Can you go back and and talk to
Speaker 1: the women and also the bigger men who who may
Speaker 1: be sharing the same experience what that was like for you. Well,
Speaker 1: for me, you know, it was always plenty of guys
Speaker 1: that we're a little bit bigger from bad rooms. They
Speaker 1: did their thing, But for me, I was just too insecure.
Speaker 1: It like it was. It's like I am one of
Speaker 1: those people that like when I was at my biggest,
Speaker 1: I think I was three hundred and seventy pounds, Like,
Speaker 1: and how tall are you? I'm six four and so
Speaker 1: so I will walk into I will walk into a
Speaker 1: room no matter what and be like, everybody's looking at me.
Speaker 1: Everybody's looking at the fat nigg in the room. Everyone
Speaker 1: is looking at me. Everyone is staring at me. I
Speaker 1: can't eat, I can't do any of this. I can't
Speaker 1: do anything because if I get a piece of chicken
Speaker 1: and look at that fat ass niggy, if I said
Speaker 1: I like, if I if I go like, look if
Speaker 1: it's hot out, so I look at sweaty ass, fat
Speaker 1: ass nigger like I just thought that all the time.
Speaker 1: So what Really it was really interesting in the way
Speaker 1: that affected me. Uh, because I didn't have any sort
Speaker 1: of confidence in my looks. I had to rely on
Speaker 1: my personality, so I would take it slow. What does
Speaker 1: that mean? Meaning for a time in my life, the
Speaker 1: only girls I ever dated a mess with, with girls
Speaker 1: that I was in classes with or that I worked with.
Speaker 1: You didn't get on chat lines and stuff up. When
Speaker 1: he was when he was growing up. Anyways, remember three
Speaker 1: decades girl, we was, We was catching niggas on my
Speaker 1: Space and chat lines. When we were, I was, and
Speaker 1: sometimes you know what that meant. Sometimes I meant you
Speaker 1: have to wait the nigga out. That means that like
Speaker 1: like you start talking to a girl and like you
Speaker 1: you're getting the whole thing. And then I never forget
Speaker 1: this tell the story in my book. I was seeing
Speaker 1: a girl that worked the Best Buy with me, and
Speaker 1: I was making good progress. You know. It was to
Speaker 1: the point to where I was impressing her with my
Speaker 1: fucking knowledge and all the movies I had seen and
Speaker 1: all that. It was starting to happen. She was coming
Speaker 1: over to the house and staying over and all of
Speaker 1: that stuff. And then I never forget. Like a new
Speaker 1: nigger started at best Buy. Landing was his name, And
Speaker 1: as soon as he walked through the door for his interview,
Speaker 1: I looked at him and I went, that's a fucking problem.
Speaker 1: As soon as he started for his Landing was like
Speaker 1: great guy. He ended up being one of the best dudes.
Speaker 1: He was swollen ship. He ended up pleasure Kappa. He
Speaker 1: had to to. He had the three little cuts. My god,
Speaker 1: and all the little bit back in the day, you know,
Speaker 1: and he was cool man you talked to Landing, Landing
Speaker 1: was cool, like it was cool. So he came in,
Speaker 1: he came for the interview, and then fun I saw him.
Speaker 1: He got at the job, and I swear to god,
Speaker 1: it wasn't a week later that I'm taking the trash
Speaker 1: out and when I passed her the back they're talking.
Speaker 1: She disappeared for a month. No, she did like she
Speaker 1: disappeared for a month. But because Landing was in his back,
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying, He was out here during
Speaker 1: this thing. Eventually I knew that that would fall off.
Speaker 1: It did fall off, And where where did she? What
Speaker 1: bead did she fall onto? Three hundred and sixty pounds
Speaker 1: of love and affection and understanding. So that is kind
Speaker 1: of what I felt like I had to do. I never, ever, ever,
Speaker 1: ever thought that I was attractive enough to just go
Speaker 1: up to a girl and try to see what was
Speaker 1: popping um. And it didn't change until it didn't change
Speaker 1: until something very specific happened. As I was losing weight,
Speaker 1: Like when I first got out to l A, I
Speaker 1: started like a like a Yahoo personal profile, and I
Speaker 1: had my old fat picture up there, right, and I
Speaker 1: would come back to it every day and it was
Speaker 1: very very depressing because there would be no hits on it,
Speaker 1: no clicks, no nothing, like nobody was really thinking. Like,
Speaker 1: no one was like giving me. Folks are in l A.
Speaker 1: Everything is big and running canyon and all that healthy
Speaker 1: ship out there, right. And so I started losing weight,
Speaker 1: Like January that year, I started losing weight. So I
Speaker 1: think it was maybe like July. I came back and
Speaker 1: I was like, let me change the picture and because
Speaker 1: to update my ship, and I changed the picture and
Speaker 1: it was just like nice little picture of me smiling
Speaker 1: with like a fake Academy award, and I put that
Speaker 1: ship up there. And then I'm not trying to say that,
Speaker 1: I'm like trade songs and nothing like that, but my
Speaker 1: ship got popping, and that to me was the thing
Speaker 1: that said, yo, you're straight now. And then it changed
Speaker 1: the way I kind of viewed things. But what I
Speaker 1: never lost was the fact that like I just would
Speaker 1: talk to women, said you're on it was yeah who
Speaker 1: personals It turned into something else, yeah, like, but I
Speaker 1: never I never lost the thing that I would just
Speaker 1: talk to women. Because I spent a lot of time
Speaker 1: trying to get to know women and trying to talk them,
Speaker 1: trying to make them see my personality, and that kind
Speaker 1: of never was. You know what though, as you have
Speaker 1: such a warm personality, and as I got older, I
Speaker 1: understand that people could be like this. But I would
Speaker 1: say years maybe even like eight years ago, just being
Speaker 1: at that age where I was earlier twenties, and I
Speaker 1: would need someone like you, like a van. I would say,
Speaker 1: who's so warm and friendly? And I was confused on
Speaker 1: whether they wanted to funk me or not because they
Speaker 1: just had that much of a way with words that
Speaker 1: other men don't. I'm like, is this blotonic or is
Speaker 1: it not? Because very few people I think can talk
Speaker 1: to women and make them feel that comfortable like I mean,
Speaker 1: that was the only that was the only bullet you
Speaker 1: had in the gun, right, And it was crazy because
Speaker 1: I would be around my niggas, right, my my homeboys
Speaker 1: at that point were all they even still are today,
Speaker 1: all great looking than outgoing God, all of them were.
Speaker 1: And the ship that they would say like I was
Speaker 1: like yo, like like he like I remember, never forget
Speaker 1: My boy Trey was like, we're talking to this chick?
Speaker 1: And I was agreeing with her and trying to be
Speaker 1: supportive and stuff like that. And Trey was like, Nigga,
Speaker 1: stop blowing his whole head up, just another example of
Speaker 1: how stupid women are. And she goes, yeah, women can't
Speaker 1: be stupid. I was like, what you know what I'm saying? Like,
Speaker 1: I was like, that's that works? So yeah, I'm like, Ben,
Speaker 1: I want to know, because you you mentioned going from
Speaker 1: you know, three d and seventy pounds you lost the weight,
Speaker 1: what was the difference in sex for you as a
Speaker 1: bigger guy, Like were there limiting positions as a bigger
Speaker 1: guy where you did you find yourself out of breath?
Speaker 1: I joke all the time about how as a big
Speaker 1: girl these knees wasn't no mad to stalion, so I
Speaker 1: ain't ride a no dick um And I mean, I
Speaker 1: I know that I felt a difference when I lost
Speaker 1: eighty pounds, um from how I was energetic in the
Speaker 1: bedroom or not. How does that affect a man in
Speaker 1: the bedroom way better? Number one, Like I used to
Speaker 1: have so I used to be self conscious about sweating
Speaker 1: all because I used to sweat on I used to
Speaker 1: sweat on you just the sweat would be just dripping
Speaker 1: down seeing one girl and she was like doing like this,
Speaker 1: Like I was like the sweat was dripping down, and
Speaker 1: so I like I had all kinds of But more
Speaker 1: than anything, anything that you're expressing yourself physically, it's it's
Speaker 1: gonna be better, especially sex when you're there to make
Speaker 1: some secrets. It's gonna be better. The more free and
Speaker 1: confident you are, you know what I'm saying. The more
Speaker 1: you feel like yo, like hold on pause. Knowing that
Speaker 1: she wants to fuck you that bad is gonna help
Speaker 1: your performance. Like being halfway about it, like is she
Speaker 1: doing this just because she loves me? Is she doing
Speaker 1: this just because it's time? But knowing that she actually
Speaker 1: wants to fuck badly because she's super atracted to you,
Speaker 1: that lowers your inhibitions. Now you're not playing a mind
Speaker 1: game with yourself. You're not wondering how you look. You're
Speaker 1: not trying to like, you know, keep the lights down
Speaker 1: and nothing, none of that. Ship like that you into it,
Speaker 1: like you felt like when you were bigger, women genuinely
Speaker 1: did not want to have sex with you because I
Speaker 1: were big, And you see, I feel like it's so
Speaker 1: funny because I actually talked about the opposite. I know,
Speaker 1: as a bigger woman as a BBW when you know,
Speaker 1: they kicked me, they kicked me out of the BBW club.
Speaker 1: But when I was bigger, when I was two hundred
Speaker 1: and thirty pounds, I felt that men fetish sized my
Speaker 1: size and loved the size I was because when I
Speaker 1: started losing weight, men were mad. Did you have any
Speaker 1: women that treated you that way to where they actually
Speaker 1: liked you as a bigger guy? Look, they probably did,
Speaker 1: to be honest with you, Like, a lot of people
Speaker 1: gonna be listening to this and they're gonna be like, yo, Van,
Speaker 1: we always Van was always kind of but I didn't
Speaker 1: feel that way about myself. And see and see, I
Speaker 1: think that's the thing, Like, if you're still in a
Speaker 1: position where you're desirable, right, if you're going some places
Speaker 1: that people are coming to you, then that's at least
Speaker 1: one way for you to gauge, like how you're going
Speaker 1: to feel about yourself because you know people are still
Speaker 1: working with you. But if that's not happening, then it's
Speaker 1: all in your mind about how you look and how
Speaker 1: you feel. Like I used to want to with the
Speaker 1: lights off. Now I'm saying, let's turn on the ring
Speaker 1: like Nigga. So yeah, So I mean that was the
Speaker 1: whole thing, is just But there were a lot of
Speaker 1: things that changed as far as like I freed my brain.
Speaker 1: It wasn't it wasn't for me. And they are by
Speaker 1: the way, there are people, millions of people, billions of
Speaker 1: people that are chubby fluffy. I hated that fluffy term
Speaker 1: that are completely okay with its sexy, proud, whatever boom.
Speaker 1: I just wasn't one of those people. It was inhibiting
Speaker 1: for me, so I had to get rid of it. Now,
Speaker 1: we interviewed a girl shout out to Ashley chubby Bunny,
Speaker 1: she doesn't that That was the first time I've ever
Speaker 1: heard someone told me that they don't care to be
Speaker 1: called fat. She was like, oh, I am fat, Like
Speaker 1: it isn't it is, Like I guess I've always used it,
Speaker 1: looked at it as a derogatory word. And she was
Speaker 1: saying and her and Mandy were going back and forth,
Speaker 1: and I found it so interesting. Mandy was like, I
Speaker 1: don't like fluffy and the girls like and Mandy was
Speaker 1: talking about she didn't like when men squeezed her, and
Speaker 1: the girl was like, well, I like it and it's
Speaker 1: so interesting how because to me, I think what that
Speaker 1: shows us is one or the other has had someone
Speaker 1: had an influence of someone saying that there that their
Speaker 1: body isn't right, or one is not celebrated enough, And
Speaker 1: I think that's really the problem. Is like if you
Speaker 1: are dating somebody, if you're a woman who's dating a
Speaker 1: bigger dude, making them feel sexy, women don't do that
Speaker 1: to their men. Often, men, I believe, to be honest,
Speaker 1: give more compliments out dished them out way more to women.
Speaker 1: And for some reason, we don't do the same celebrating
Speaker 1: somebody's body whatever it fucking looks like. It's very important
Speaker 1: making sure that you know that men could have insecurities too,
Speaker 1: without letting that turn you off. We just assume they's
Speaker 1: gonna be confident and feel good. Well, I actually do
Speaker 1: want to give a tip to um. And this is
Speaker 1: before we wrap up and get to our homemail and
Speaker 1: get out of here. Um, I want to leave a tip. Man,
Speaker 1: I would like you to leave a tip too. But
Speaker 1: even off of what Weezy just said, as far as
Speaker 1: women leaning in and giving compliments to their men, one
Speaker 1: of the things that make my men, my lovers, my
Speaker 1: partners blush. Um, And it's something that I do with
Speaker 1: especially the ones that I just find fucking makes me
Speaker 1: even hotter. Like is when we're done having sex or
Speaker 1: we're just chilling in the house and we're in bed,
Speaker 1: were naked. When they stand up, I make them walk
Speaker 1: back and forth at the end of the bed and
Speaker 1: tell them how fucking good they look naked, And I
Speaker 1: just love I'd be like, before you go to the bathroom,
Speaker 1: can you just walk back and forth for me? And
Speaker 1: it makes them blush and I'll be like, God, damn,
Speaker 1: you look good naked. And that's something that I love
Speaker 1: to do when someone's at there, literally there there, there's
Speaker 1: nothing on, no boxers, no socks, were laying down and
Speaker 1: when they stand up, I'm just like, can you just
Speaker 1: model for me? Real quick? Walk back and forth? And
Speaker 1: it's something that gets a giggle. But that's how I
Speaker 1: like to show the man that I'm with it. I
Speaker 1: think they're I'm completely attracted to them and everything about
Speaker 1: them looks beautiful from their head to their toil. Um.
Speaker 1: I guess then before we let you go and get
Speaker 1: to our homemail, Um, do you have a tip for
Speaker 1: any of the bigger men listening or or women who
Speaker 1: are dating big men to make maybe their partners feel
Speaker 1: more confident in themselves. Um well, one thing that always
Speaker 1: that I use even now with my girl is affection,
Speaker 1: like like number one, Like I'm very affectionate. Like affection
Speaker 1: is uh a way that you always let someone know that,
Speaker 1: like you're physically connected to it. So if you're if
Speaker 1: if someone if you feel, if you feel like you're
Speaker 1: not desirable, then you're gonna feel like nobody wants to
Speaker 1: touch you. And that is the thing that emotionally isolates you.
Speaker 1: Like when you feel like no one wants to touch you,
Speaker 1: who would want to touch me? The moment that you
Speaker 1: are touched by somebody, you feel like this is a
Speaker 1: person who is willingly being close to me. When I
Speaker 1: say affectionate, I don't mean like being draped on over
Speaker 1: somebody all the time. When she walks by, smack her
Speaker 1: asked real quick, I like it, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: Like like with like like you pass by, kiss on
Speaker 1: the back of the neck. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: And like with with with women, if you if you're
Speaker 1: mad sitting down, play the game your ball, he's bothering you.
Speaker 1: He's not playing the game. Just if you want to
Speaker 1: get his attention, roll over, lay your head on his
Speaker 1: lap real quick. I'm not saying pull his meat out
Speaker 1: and suck his dick, although that would be amazing during
Speaker 1: the game. I feel like it depends on the game,
Speaker 1: like if you if it does, like if you see,
Speaker 1: if you're, if you're know, if you if you're a
Speaker 1: dick sucker. I think that's my problem today. I tried
Speaker 1: to come in here and sucking the dick, you know,
Speaker 1: you know. It was the like he can get the
Speaker 1: pussy all the time, Like I'm always sucking dick. So
Speaker 1: I was trying to suck dick while he was like
Speaker 1: kind of working. I don't know if he was really working.
Speaker 1: He was like, baby, I gotta finish this. And I
Speaker 1: was like, really, y'all was tired, and my fucking egos
Speaker 1: brud And I was like, you know what, because I
Speaker 1: dick suck a lot, I'm a dick. But the reality
Speaker 1: is that that's dope. But that man also gotta get
Speaker 1: ship done. So pick your battles, pick your blest, a
Speaker 1: whole as job. We got a whole jobs job. Anyway,
Speaker 1: show the person the person that you show him you're
Speaker 1: attracted to him by touching them. I love that. I
Speaker 1: love that. So again, before you get out, we're not
Speaker 1: We don't have homemail today, but we have a whole confession.
Speaker 1: Um this is actually one sentence. We spoke about machine
Speaker 1: Sex recently and someone wrote in and said, high ladies,
Speaker 1: big fan of the show. I've recommended it to so
Speaker 1: many friends. The conversation around normalizing kinks and expressing your
Speaker 1: needs is so important. I just listened to the most
Speaker 1: recent episode and I wanted to share my experience with
Speaker 1: machine sex. My partner and I sometimes do m m F.
Speaker 1: Now we talked about this with um ms be nasty
Speaker 1: MMF being male male female, but she is referring to
Speaker 1: male machine female. He bought the machine earlier on in
Speaker 1: our relationship because he was planning on making a film
Speaker 1: project with it, or at least that was one of
Speaker 1: the reasons he gave me. He would also use it
Speaker 1: for solo play once in a while. He is into pegging,
Speaker 1: and for a while we had opposite schedules, so when
Speaker 1: I wasn't around for that kind of play, he could
Speaker 1: do this on his own. I wasn't interested in the
Speaker 1: machine until about a year into our relationship, and I
Speaker 1: finally thought, why not. When we play, he controls the machine,
Speaker 1: which is very hot for him. He can make it
Speaker 1: go faster or slower, and he can watch me get penetrated.
Speaker 1: And he can also see how excited I get. He
Speaker 1: loves it when the machine is going. I can also
Speaker 1: suck his dick while getting fucked, which is very exciting
Speaker 1: for me. You can attach any size dil do you
Speaker 1: want to the machine? It never gets tired and it's
Speaker 1: all over. And when it's all over, I get a
Speaker 1: cuddle with my partner and the machine doesn't get any
Speaker 1: of our attention. My experience with machine play has been great.
Speaker 1: Stay healthy. You ever played with a machine? Um man? No?
Speaker 1: I used to have a subscription to machines dot com.
Speaker 1: Do you ever have a sleevedu dot com? Machines dot com,
Speaker 1: Kin dot com? I had a subscription. I can't know
Speaker 1: I did have. You are a really important just like
Speaker 1: never play with she but had a subscription of fucking
Speaker 1: machines dot com. You know what it is. You can
Speaker 1: just add him on like once you're on browsing. The
Speaker 1: ship was like, do you want to join dog Pound?
Speaker 1: For a dollar? They get they get you with fucking
Speaker 1: five sites. It's like you join one and they go,
Speaker 1: that's that's that's really what it is, thirty dollars lifetime
Speaker 1: membership to this office. I'm like, fuck, why not? You
Speaker 1: know what at the end of the day, shout out
Speaker 1: to Crystal Lia. It doesn't make a fucking Okay, you
Speaker 1: see that it adds a dollar a month? Am I
Speaker 1: gonna miss twelve dollars for a bit? I'll drink that
Speaker 1: ship is Starbucks And like a second, facts was seventeen
Speaker 1: dollars and nineties six cents today and I'm like, what
Speaker 1: the fuck's three only fans depending on who the girls are.
Speaker 1: Who's one of your favorites before we get out? Yes, Oh,
Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't remember now, like it's too many.
Speaker 1: It's like it's like a lot of good, good all
Speaker 1: of them. I mean, oh, you know what, but you
Speaker 1: know what, Miss being Nasty is great. Yeah, she's made,
Speaker 1: but she's like she's a savant at it though, like
Speaker 1: she's like weirdly not just it's just like she's super
Speaker 1: entertaining as well. Yeah, I'm starting to get to some
Speaker 1: point where I don't know, and this is no shade
Speaker 1: to miss being Nasty. I'm so enamored with watching her.
Speaker 1: I don't masturbate to it anymore. What she donna do now,
Speaker 1: it's almost performance art one is. And I actually was
Speaker 1: was telling her. I was like, this, this is why
Speaker 1: I don't even make videos. Well, first of all, I
Speaker 1: don't like sending nudes or videos anyways, but I was like,
Speaker 1: when I see the only fans content that comes across
Speaker 1: my Twitter timeline, I'm like, if this is what bitches
Speaker 1: are sending the nigga's phones, I can't compete. I cannot
Speaker 1: fucking compete. Be Nasty was talking about how she would
Speaker 1: get her foot and suck a dick like this, and
Speaker 1: I was like, I'm a regular person now, I thought
Speaker 1: I was. If y'all, if y'all love what Van had
Speaker 1: to say. First off, Van, thank you for finally getting
Speaker 1: on with us and joining us for horrible decisions. Before
Speaker 1: we get out of here, let everyone who doesn't know,
Speaker 1: even though I feel like they're about to know who
Speaker 1: the funk you is. For those who don't know, let
Speaker 1: them know you're at name where they can find you,
Speaker 1: and also what other content you got coming out so
Speaker 1: people can listen to you a little um, hotel as
Speaker 1: sometimes you hotel, but not really. We're gonna listen to
Speaker 1: your hot takes. Um A Van Layton on Instagram and Twitter.
Speaker 1: Of course, we have Way Down in the Hole and
Speaker 1: Jamal Hill that's based on the wire podcast we have
Speaker 1: right now. We have a brand new podcast coming with
Speaker 1: me and Rachel Lindsay Uh to start on the Ringer
Speaker 1: Um in the next weeks. No, Rachel Lizard is the
Speaker 1: first black batchel Light. Okay, so I thought she was
Speaker 1: white too by that name. No, Rachel Lizard is gonna
Speaker 1: be great. Um. Other than that, like, we got a
Speaker 1: couple of TV shows coming out, We've got a couple
Speaker 1: of different We've got a lot of ship going on.
Speaker 1: So just stay with me. Black Would you look at that?
Speaker 1: I think he knows the color of his co host.
Speaker 1: I don't care. I just didn't believe it. I wanted
Speaker 1: to see what yesterday I saw on the zoom. She's
Speaker 1: a black girl. Black girl. She's not even like a yeah,
Speaker 1: it's yeah, she's a little girl. Well, I mean, if
Speaker 1: you guys haven't listened to listen yet and we have
Speaker 1: them coming on our podcast. We I saw the title
Speaker 1: to your episode on Poor Minds and she's like, am
Speaker 1: I black enough? Or whatever the fucking title was. They'd
Speaker 1: be coming up with titles next week. You guys are
Speaker 1: gonna hear poor minds on our show. I just did
Speaker 1: their show. Check them out. They were really fun, Like
Speaker 1: I think they did a great job in asking me
Speaker 1: questions like that that we're kind of I feel like
Speaker 1: when people have me on their podcasts, they want to
Speaker 1: be like, oh, hell's the wrrible decisions? Cand of talk
Speaker 1: about your threesomes. But they were like, yo, we'll be
Speaker 1: reading comments where people say that you want to be white,
Speaker 1: and I was like, that was a good question. I
Speaker 1: do want to um before we get off of here, UM,
Speaker 1: thank you guys for tuning in. Yes, we are on
Speaker 1: YouTube now, so we haven't done it yet. UM, but
Speaker 1: I actually want to give a huge shout out to
Speaker 1: the person in charge of our videos and social Benson.
Speaker 1: You guys heard Benson when we were in the studio
Speaker 1: a little bit, but I don't think we've acknowledged him
Speaker 1: as someone who's been making sure that we have our
Speaker 1: videos up on YouTube. So I do want to give
Speaker 1: a shout out to Benson. I also want to give
Speaker 1: a huge shout out as always to our Patreon community. UM.
Speaker 1: Without y'all, there would be no US, honestly right now,
Speaker 1: God damn y'all keeping us afloat UM. If you guys
Speaker 1: are all you know, if y'all are all caught up
Speaker 1: with a horrible decisions content, be sure to join us.
Speaker 1: And we are leaving you a five minute clip after this. Also,
Speaker 1: if you guys missed me um having a conversation again,
Speaker 1: I told you guys. I went on Live um last
Speaker 1: Tuesday with Jadenna, my fucking future husband. We ended up
Speaker 1: talking about mating in captivity by Esther parrel Um and
Speaker 1: it was just a really really good conversation. If you
Speaker 1: guys want to hear a conversation where it's three black
Speaker 1: men digging into intimacy and desire and communication, it's really good.
Speaker 1: I know that you guys hear Wheezy and I and
Speaker 1: a ton of females, but it was really good to
Speaker 1: just be the one girl in a room of up
Speaker 1: to four black men about I mean, I ain't I
Speaker 1: ain't gonna. I was like, God damn dinner, you're making
Speaker 1: me fucking what stop. I was really like, I'm a
Speaker 1: stapio sexual now, I'm very sexual sexual and I'm a
Speaker 1: stapio sexual now. So it's on Jadenna's YouTube. If you
Speaker 1: go to his his um channel you can tune into us.
Speaker 1: So it's the lit review and literally every week it's
Speaker 1: black men reviewing books. That makes my pussy wet. I
Speaker 1: don't know about you, but it makes my fucking pussy wet.
Speaker 1: So check that out. Um. And yeah, do you have
Speaker 1: any anything for to let them know about with you
Speaker 1: before we get out of here? No, I'm a loser anyways. Um, guys,
Speaker 1: we want to thank you all for tuning into yet
Speaker 1: another episode of Horrible Decisions by and we talked about it,
Speaker 1: so for this it is gonna lead me to ask
Speaker 1: you a question to This is where we get a
Speaker 1: little crazy. So the whole fact that I found is
Speaker 1: Lisa Sparks, who is a porn star, holds the record
Speaker 1: for having intercourse with the most men in twenty four hours.
Speaker 1: She is recorded to have sex with nine hundred and
Speaker 1: nineteen men in twenty four hours, setting a world record
Speaker 1: in two thousand, bitch. So my question is how many
Speaker 1: men max would you have sex with in a twenty
Speaker 1: four hour time frame? In exchange for one million dollars?
Speaker 1: I had to throw money out there because we ate ship.
Speaker 1: So how many men, max? Would you have sex with
Speaker 1: in twenty four hours in exchange for a million dollars?
Speaker 1: So this is thinking the most how is you would
Speaker 1: be for a million dollars? It's just a million, and
Speaker 1: I got a lot of people to take care of. I.
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna lie nine and something that's not happening.
Speaker 1: First of all, in real life, the max that I've
Speaker 1: had sex within twenty fours is two men. And that's
Speaker 1: all that I'm gonna do to me. That is like,
Speaker 1: it's a lot of energy, and I didn't feel good
Speaker 1: about that. I even if I got the million dollars,
Speaker 1: I feel like I don't know where I would be
Speaker 1: at mentally, and I am a freak. But I also
Speaker 1: like value my body. No matter what people say about me.
Speaker 1: I do. It's gonna be too and it's gonna be
Speaker 1: the best, great, the best two sexes of the million
Speaker 1: dollar lots. But but you gotta go board and two.
Speaker 1: If you'd have did two for free, I don't know,
Speaker 1: it's not it's not gonna be quality. I'm just gonna
Speaker 1: be laying there and I'm gonna look like I'm just
Speaker 1: gonna be laying there like it's not I can't do it.
Speaker 1: That's a lot of body and that's only a million.
Speaker 1: Now you want to talk about somebody bit, I need
Speaker 1: gonna hold you. You know how excited I just got
Speaker 1: forgetting that's well, honey, all what bitch? Like, what are
Speaker 1: we doing with all the men? Is it just I
Speaker 1: just gotta lay down and open my legs. I can't
Speaker 1: do it. I'm tired. I'm me sleep. No, No, You're like,
Speaker 1: m it's max is to what's your first off? This
Speaker 1: question wasn't for me because I ain't even gonna hold
Speaker 1: You got a lottle fantasy of a little gang day.
Speaker 1: So I'm like, damn, man, I get paid a million,
Speaker 1: I ain't gonna probably do do a solid six. That's
Speaker 1: a lot it is with it. I'll be watching these
Speaker 1: gang bangs and you know, I'll be going down to
Speaker 1: poor and rabbit hole and I'm like, this looks like
Speaker 1: fun six healthy thought about being on a court with
Speaker 1: a starting five before, so like, damn, look at this
Speaker 1: starting five, bitch, all of them could get it at
Speaker 1: the same time. Bitch, I would have thought about being
Speaker 1: in the locker room. Okay, ship, I have been having
Speaker 1: fantasies lately about a train being ran on, saying you
Speaker 1: can't do a train with two bitch caboo we need
Speaker 1: So the next segment is the horrid r I decided
Speaker 1: to find a sex tip, and I would love for
Speaker 1: you to add a sex tip. Um. I wanted to
Speaker 1: focus on quarantine sex tips, and because my feet is
Speaker 1: so goddamn raggedy, I was trying to look up sex
Speaker 1: tips involving sucks because I don't want to show these
Speaker 1: feet even if I decided to have dick during the
Speaker 1: stay at home. So I actually ended up finding this
Speaker 1: is a sex tip, but the sex tip is to
Speaker 1: have socks on while having sex. Women who have difficulty
Speaker 1: reaching orgasm just may have cold feet. Literally. There's a
Speaker 1: study that found that giving women warm socks increased their
Speaker 1: chance of reaching an orgasm. Environment is key when having sex,
Speaker 1: especially for women. So whole Steed found that the reason
Speaker 1: socks tend to boost the female sex drive is because
Speaker 1: they help women feel safe and secure. So if you're
Speaker 1: trying to reach climax, you have a tougher time if
Speaker 1: the parts of your brain that cause fear and anxiety
Speaker 1: are active. So they say that for women. We talked
Speaker 1: about using lube as a way to reach orgasm. So
Speaker 1: here's a sex tip if you haven't tried it yet,
Speaker 1: try fucking with socks on and bitch the way my
Speaker 1: feet are set up right now, I'm here for it.
Speaker 1: Let me know I could get an orgasm with these feet.
Speaker 1: Look in the way they do sins, because it's so crazy.
Speaker 1: Because I fucking hate people, I would run, maybe some
Speaker 1: like thigh highs and like a like a pantyhose or
Speaker 1: something with the cold. It's something about socks, and that
Speaker 1: is one of the reasons why I can't get into
Speaker 1: black porn. I hate when in the makeup, the hair
Speaker 1: on the women bother me. But wait, you hate a
Speaker 1: man even sucking it socks