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Speaker 1: Many of us have thought about doing this, but we haven't.

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Speaker 1: It's one more thing.

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Speaker 2: I'm strong and getty one more so. You don't have

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Speaker 2: the falls, and neither do I and shouldn't.

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Speaker 1: But if you've ever had a really crappy car, like not,

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Speaker 1: I'm not talking about like you had a car and

7
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Speaker 1: it was fine, but over ten years of ownership it

8
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Speaker 1: became crappy. I mean it was crappy from the get go.

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Speaker 2: You got ripped off a lemon, if you.

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Speaker 1: Will, and you were quite angry who sold it to you?

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Speaker 1: Maybe you can relate to this person? Then, oh, anybody

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Speaker 1: under the car?

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Speaker 2: No, no, no, no.

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Speaker 3: It was kind of a very very scary situation. Several

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Speaker 3: hours later he came back and he was very emotional.

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Speaker 3: He said, listen, if you don't give me my money

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Speaker 3: back right now, I'm going to run this car right

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Speaker 3: through the front door.

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Speaker 2: I was just really angry, upset about my money. I

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Speaker 2: kind of blacked out for a second.

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Speaker 3: You know, I know I probably shouldn't have done it,

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Speaker 3: but I guess they just hit a breaking point.

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Speaker 2: Probably, Well that's a crazy person, is what that is.

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Speaker 1: If it was an hour ago, you didn't have time

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Speaker 1: to find out you have a crappy car.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I was worried about my money, and I kind

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Speaker 4: of blacked out. I expected to hear the guy yelling,

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Speaker 4: listen this thing. I found sand in the transmission, right,

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Speaker 4: you know whatever, But no, just a whacky doodle.

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Speaker 1: Yeah and uh and you could have killed somebody obviously.

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Speaker 2: So yeah.

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Speaker 5: I don't know if you saw the video of this,

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Speaker 5: but he went straight through the big pane glass windows

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Speaker 5: and into somebody's desk with that car.

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Speaker 6: Jeez.

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Speaker 2: That's oh yeah, that's that's no good. I got ripped

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Speaker 2: off once on a car. Yeah.

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Speaker 4: You remember when I flew to Boise to buy that

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Speaker 4: pickup truck. Oh yeah, that was that turned out bad? Yeah,

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Speaker 4: like four days it was on the way home, the

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Speaker 4: transmission stopped working. Oh really Yeah, and I don't know

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Speaker 4: enough about transmissions to know how you would get it,

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Speaker 4: you know, hair pinned and duct taped together to hold

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Speaker 4: up during test drive. But then it putts like as

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Speaker 4: soon as I left the guy's house.

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Speaker 2: But that's what happened. Jeez.

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Speaker 1: Sometimes I've had vehicles that ran fine until they got

48
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Speaker 1: warmed up when things got hot, and then things went south.

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Speaker 2: So as long as you drove the car.

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Speaker 1: When it was cold, it seemed like it ran fine.

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Speaker 1: Things got all hot, they didn't work so well. What

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Speaker 1: time My buddy Chris and I, Hey, gladys, can you

53
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Speaker 1: play the hard for this? My buddy Chris and I

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Speaker 1: were going to college in Western Kansas, and we both

55
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Speaker 1: were I think we're nineteen years old. We're freshman in college,

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Speaker 1: and we both had like a thousand bucks and we

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Speaker 1: went to Denver to get cars. Neither one of us

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Speaker 1: had a car, and we had a thousand dollars. His

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Speaker 1: sister drove us to Denver and dropped us off. We

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Speaker 1: got a cheap rental car. And the only way we're

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Speaker 1: going to get back home is one or both of

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Speaker 1: us were going to buy our cars.

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Speaker 2: Wow.

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Speaker 1: And we spent the weekend shopping.

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Speaker 2: What year it was this? Nineteen eighty four?

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Speaker 4: Stand by, I mean go ahead, you can keep talking.

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Speaker 4: And I mean by standby, I mean continue.

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Speaker 1: You talking, Jose, I assume trying to figure out what

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Speaker 1: one thousand dollars would be in today's money.

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Speaker 2: Precisely, it still wasn't.

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Speaker 4: A lot nineteen thirteen, No, nineteen eighty two, you said,

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Speaker 4: four eighty four?

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Speaker 2: Sorry?

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Speaker 4: The year Van Halen's nineteen four album nineteen eight charts.

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Speaker 4: It was the year after Van Halen's nineteen forty eight album.

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Speaker 4: I'm trying to type in talk at the same time

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Speaker 4: and it's going poorly.

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Speaker 2: Okay, here we go.

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Speaker 4: There you go, Jack, that would be in today's dollars

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Speaker 4: a three thousand dollars car.

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Speaker 1: Okay, well, yeah, so that that's helpful, but you know,

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Speaker 1: so not disastrous cars, but not a not a great car.

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Speaker 1: So we each had the cash in our pocket and

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Speaker 1: we went to a whole bunch of crappy car lots

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Speaker 1: because when you're buy it, when that's your your limit,

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Speaker 1: you can't go to very nice car lots, right, I mean,

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Speaker 1: most car lots don't have a car that cheap anywhere

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Speaker 1: on the lot.

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Speaker 2: So we're going to what they call potlot.

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Speaker 1: It's the places that are gravel, you know, and got

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Speaker 1: a puddle over there, and they got kind of like a.

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Speaker 2: Mobile home for where you go in to fill up

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Speaker 2: the paperwork. Charming. Yeah, those kind of places.

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Speaker 1: And I've bought quite a few cars at places like that,

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Speaker 1: and there's sketch af but we each bought Baja bugs,

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Speaker 1: which was very childish of us, and the only people

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Speaker 1: that thought that was cool was ten year old.

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Speaker 2: Boys.

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Speaker 1: Girls certainly didn't think so. But we each bought these

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Speaker 1: old Volkswagens on.

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Speaker 7: The way home. Driving on the way home, similar to

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Speaker 7: your situation. His his broke down. We didn't even make

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Speaker 7: it home, like two hundred miles and his broke down.

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Speaker 7: Mine soldiered on and ran for years.

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Speaker 1: Actually, but man, you buy a car and you don't

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Speaker 1: even make it home, that makes you mad.

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Speaker 2: That will make you mad. Yeah, I'd say, all right,

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Speaker 2: hang out, go ahead, Katie.

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Speaker 5: Oh my Lemon was a brand new car, which sucked,

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Speaker 5: but I was I was working at the radio station

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Speaker 5: in San Francisco, and I had gotten it was also

112
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Speaker 5: a Volkswagon Jack, but it was one of those convertible ones,

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Speaker 5: so it had the little button and the.

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Speaker 2: Convertible would tuck back into the trunk. Look at thet

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Speaker 2: convertible hunh Yeah.

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Speaker 5: And I had always wanted a convertible. So I'm on

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Speaker 5: my way to the radio station. It is four o'clock

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Speaker 5: in the morning and raining, and I am on the

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Speaker 5: freeway driving through Oakland, California, and out of nowhere, the

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Speaker 5: convertible opened while I was a freeway.

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Speaker 2: Oh boy, in the rain, let me gets your attention.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, so I closed the rain, I closed it, went

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Speaker 5: to the radio station, did my show, came home, and

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Speaker 5: then when he straight to the dealership and got rid

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Speaker 5: of that car that day.

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Speaker 1: Did you get any money back or anything like that.

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Speaker 1: I know I got the no cooling off lemon Low

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Speaker 1: whatever it is.

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Speaker 5: See in California, they took pretty good care of me

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Speaker 5: because I had purchased the car the week before. I mean,

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Speaker 5: this was eight days of owning this thing. But I'll

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Speaker 5: never forget it. Just it just started going back and

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Speaker 5: I'm going, what the's going on here?

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Speaker 4: That had to be a moment of am I under

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Speaker 4: attack or what did I black out?

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Speaker 2: What is happening? So Jack for for I set my limits,

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Speaker 2: my price.

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Speaker 4: Limits here at Ebabe Motors between three thousand and thirty

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Speaker 4: one hundred dollars, and I've got several fine vehicles for you.

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Speaker 4: I got a nineteen eighty six Chevrolet Caprice Classic.

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Speaker 2: Now this is a classic, it's right there.

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Speaker 1: In the name boy an American made car from the eighties, new.

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Speaker 2: Three thousand and fifty dollars.

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Speaker 1: I'm pro American made cars now high quality. There was

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Speaker 1: a period of time in the seventies and eighties, they

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Speaker 1: were crap.

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Speaker 4: It's a nineteen eighty six, one of the best years made.

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Speaker 2: Low mileage. It just doesn't look like it. What is

149
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Speaker 2: the mileage on this? You gotta tell me the damn mileage?

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Speaker 2: Good lord?

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Speaker 1: What a I used to do commercials for one of

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Speaker 1: those potlights Katie Beck into my early radio days, and

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Speaker 1: I do ads every day, and all the cars were

154
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Speaker 1: like fifteen hundred dollars.

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Speaker 2: In the ads I'm doing, and I would I'd readop.

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Speaker 1: I said, we got a nineteen seventy six, you know,

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Speaker 1: Capri Classic ice cold air conditioner for good tires.

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Speaker 2: We're letting this one go with eleven hundred dollars. Now

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Speaker 2: we got a.

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Speaker 1: Dots in to eighty Z for fourteen hundred dollars. This

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Speaker 1: one's got a stereo, leather seats, and ice cold air conditioning.

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Speaker 1: When you're advertising the air conditioning is a real luxury point.

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Speaker 1: That's that's not a good sign.

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Speaker 2: That's a sign for how good the tires are. Hey,

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Speaker 2: it's got a stereo. Yeah, yeah, exactly, Well, of course

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Speaker 2: it does. You want to have to ride around in

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Speaker 2: silence in.

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Speaker 5: This one that's got all four seats exactly.

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Speaker 2: Hanson Cold Air conditioning.

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Speaker 8: Hanson just informed me that eighties cars are coming back

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Speaker 8: in certain auctions. Barrett Jackson auctions. Have you ever heard

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Speaker 8: of him? I guess they're bringing back eighties cars.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, oh yeah. My son's really into a lot of

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Speaker 1: cars that that. He's like, oh, that's a cool car, Dad,

175
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Speaker 1: And I said, wow, really I remember that car. You

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Speaker 1: could go to that for two thousand dollars. But they

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Speaker 1: got popular for a variety of reasons, you know, the

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Speaker 1: way things just get popular.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that whole you.

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Speaker 4: Know, life span of whether it's a band or a

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Speaker 4: car or a dance craze or whatever that it. It's

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Speaker 4: it's super hip, then it's new ish, then it's established,

183
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Speaker 4: then it's kind of tired, then it's old and mocked,

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Speaker 4: and then the nostalgia starts. What is that twelve there's

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Speaker 4: some sort of twelve year rulers. I can't remember, but.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and then all of a sudden it's the hottest thing.

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Speaker 2: Definitely happens with cars.

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Speaker 1: I got a whole bunch of crappy cars I wish

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Speaker 1: I would have kept, because they'd have been they'd be

190
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Speaker 1: worth something now, or they certainly would be cool now.

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Speaker 2: They were not at the time. This one takes American

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Speaker 2: made fuel. It's only nine hundred dollars.

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Speaker 5: You know, looking at cheap cars online is comical, right.

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Speaker 5: For thirty eight hundred dollars, you can get a two

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Speaker 5: thousand and five Hondae Alantra with one hundred and fifty

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Speaker 5: thousand miles, has no headlights and only three tires.

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Speaker 2: I'll tell you what I am.

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Speaker 1: I am not to the place yet in my life

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Speaker 1: where I can even like joke about that. I spent

200
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Speaker 1: too many years driving crappy cars, and the only thing

201
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Speaker 1: I ever wanted was to make enough money that I

202
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Speaker 1: could have a card that when I walked out in

203
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Speaker 1: the morning, I knew it was gonna start. I thought

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Speaker 1: that that was just my dream in life, to know

205
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Speaker 1: I could walk out there and be almost certain that

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Speaker 1: when I turned the key it would start.

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Speaker 2: Because it was luxury in your head at the time.

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Speaker 1: Oh definitely, because every day of is it going to

209
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Speaker 1: start today? And then everything that goes with if it

210
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Speaker 1: doesn't start, how you get to work, how you're gonna

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Speaker 1: get it somewhere, how you're gonna pay for it? Oh

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Speaker 1: my god, that's the worst.

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Speaker 5: My mom always talks about her seventy five bug that

214
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Speaker 5: she had to park on a on a hill facing downhill,

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Speaker 5: and she'd have to pop the clutch to get it

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Speaker 5: rolling in order for it to start.

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Speaker 2: No starter.

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Speaker 7: Yeah, that's a.

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Speaker 4: Good thing here in the Bay Area, in the Central Valley, right.

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Speaker 1: I had many motorcycles like that. I'd have to run

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Speaker 1: and then hop on the seat and pop the clutch.

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Speaker 1: Oh did you get all sweaty?

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Speaker 2: Wow? Well, what are you gonna do? I'll be back

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Speaker 2: there again soon enough. I'm sure. I was hanging out

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Speaker 2: at the strip mall wherever it was the other day

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Speaker 2: and a guy passed me rolled by and I'm not

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Speaker 2: like a car guy exactly, so I don't know. But

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Speaker 2: it was an.

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Speaker 4: Early seventies like Impalla. It was one of those cars

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Speaker 4: that's like sixty five feet long.

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Speaker 2: I mean, just a ridiculously.

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Speaker 4: Long hood end trunk Tudor. But you know, it took

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Speaker 4: like five minutes for the thing to roll by me,

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Speaker 4: and it was just magnificent.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: Is that because it's just the car that I admired

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Speaker 4: when I was, you know whatever, seven years old.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's got to do with your age, because I

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Speaker 1: go to a lot of car shows with Sam because

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Speaker 1: he is a car guy and who loves him. And

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Speaker 1: when I was a kid, all the cars were fifties cars,

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Speaker 1: you know, fifty seven Chevy or whatever like that, because

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Speaker 1: the old guys there, that was the car that was

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Speaker 1: hot when they was in high school.

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Speaker 2: They were in high school.

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Speaker 1: Now you see the occasional one of those, but that's

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Speaker 1: not what Guineabody gathers around. They gather around the nineteen

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Speaker 1: eighty you know, Pontiac Firebird because that's the car they

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Speaker 1: had when they were in high school. It has to

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Speaker 1: do with what you had when you were high You're

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Speaker 1: not a car guy. You know who is a car guy.

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Speaker 1: Mike Canton, our executive producer Hanson joins them, just.

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Speaker 6: You know, Joe, every kid, every high school kid, should

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Speaker 6: appreciate and enjoy ownership of a land yacht, one of

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Speaker 6: those big cars. And I had one and it was

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Speaker 6: it was actually a proud moment for me because I

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Speaker 6: bought it from a Junkyard. My nineteen seventy one Buhicles

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Speaker 6: Saber bought from a Junkyard for two hundred dollars. It

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Speaker 6: was awesome.

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Speaker 2: The heater had a quality heater up.

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Speaker 4: I'm adjusting for inflation, that two hundred dollars would be

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Speaker 4: two hundred and four dollars that.

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Speaker 3: I could.

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Speaker 6: I could fit six guys in that car, I'm sure.

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Speaker 6: Plus load up the trunk with a lot of beer

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Speaker 6: before basketball games. We had a great time. Heater beer awesome,

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Speaker 6: had a great time, no doubt. Someone plowed into that

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Speaker 6: car in the middle of winter on my street, and

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Speaker 6: I think I know who it was.

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Speaker 1: Troy.

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Speaker 6: I'll hold that against.

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Speaker 2: You for the rest of your life. Troy. Wow, damn, Troy,

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Speaker 2: this may be illegal. Last name, I'm serious about it.

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Speaker 6: Never revealed that ever, So my whole life, I've never

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Speaker 6: had a chance to call him out. Okay, I've been

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Speaker 6: wanting to do this for the past thirty years.

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Speaker 2: Wow.

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Speaker 4: If anybody else would like to level a half assization

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Speaker 4: for a decade's old incident, call us and we'll put

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Speaker 4: you on the air.

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Speaker 2: I want to call out my uncle right now.

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Speaker 6: So then I sold the car to a guy for

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Speaker 6: two hundred dollars. He drove it for the summer. Then

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Speaker 6: I bought the car back from him that fall for

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Speaker 6: one hundred and fifty bucks, and I drove it again

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Speaker 6: for another winner.

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Speaker 1: It was fantastic that a box on the Gondaw you

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Speaker 1: broke even all right. That is the one thing with

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Speaker 1: the cheap cars, because I've done that a few times.

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Speaker 1: You buy him for something and then you sell them

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Speaker 1: for the same amount because they've just been bought them out.

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Speaker 1: That's what they were worth.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, boy, My old buddy Scott, God rest his soul,

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Speaker 4: had this gigantic since in nineteen seventy, probably eight. I

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Speaker 4: don't know Impalla, but it was one of those giant

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Speaker 4: land yachts. It was crappy when he owned it, and old.

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Speaker 4: But you know, the old complaint used to be cars

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Speaker 4: are too small to have sex in the back seat anymore.

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Speaker 2: Well, Scott's racing and Palla.

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Speaker 4: You could have one couple in the front seat and

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Speaker 4: one in the back seat and they wouldn't.

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Speaker 2: Be aware of each other.

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Speaker 5: Right.

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Speaker 2: It was so freaking big.

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Speaker 4: We could put so many people in that car in

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Speaker 4: the trunk, Hansen to your point, I mean, never mind.

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Speaker 2: Beer, you could you could like put one of those

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Speaker 2: the tiny houses in the trunk. It was so ginormous.

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Speaker 1: I learned to drive in our station wagon that was

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Speaker 1: like that. I don't know how I learned to drive

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Speaker 1: as a five foot two fourteen year old, but uh,

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Speaker 1: You couldn't see anything but hood. There's just hood, giant hood,

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Speaker 1: turn the giant hood everywhere I go. Those cars were

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Speaker 1: so long too. Learning to parallel park a twenty foot car,

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Speaker 1: I don't even know what that.

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Speaker 2: Is makes you good?

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Speaker 4: Who knows how many people you ran down and we're

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Speaker 4: totally unaware of Right, Maybe Old Troy was exactly as

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Speaker 4: somebody who had it coming.

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Speaker 2: Huh.

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Speaker 8: My parents bought a station wagon true story. They didn't

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Speaker 8: realize that the windows didn't roll down in the back

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Speaker 8: until when their kids got car sick, and that's how

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Speaker 8: they found out. Well, I guess that's it.

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Speaker 2: Rolled down the window.

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Speaker 1: I can't b barf car