WEBVTT - Miss Brittany Cartwright 0:00:08.600 --> 0:00:16.760 Misspelling with Tory spelling and iHeartRadio podcast. Okay, Britney cart right, 0:00:17.079 --> 0:00:21.239 you don't know me from Jack, not your backs, I 0:00:21.400 --> 0:00:26.079 hold up, but sarya like a good pun. But I 0:00:26.200 --> 0:00:30.120 just want to tell you that as a woman, as 0:00:30.240 --> 0:00:34.400 a human, as a fellow mom, I'm proud of you. 0:00:35.200 --> 0:00:38.200 Thank you, and I mean that with all my heart 0:00:38.240 --> 0:00:41.559 and soul. And we'll get into everything, but I just 0:00:41.880 --> 0:00:45.960 I wanted to lead with that because watching you, just 0:00:46.040 --> 0:00:48.800 like everybody else, I'm just a fan like anybody else 0:00:48.920 --> 0:00:53.960 in the world, I see a lot of similarities between us. 0:00:54.560 --> 0:00:58.200 Our stories have aligned a lot. Yeah, and I'm just 0:00:59.280 --> 0:01:01.480 I'm proud of you and everything you're doing. I just 0:01:01.520 --> 0:01:03.200 wanted to say that because I feel like we don't 0:01:03.200 --> 0:01:07.000 tell people that enough and sometimes we need to hear that, 0:01:07.280 --> 0:01:08.280 even from people. 0:01:08.040 --> 0:01:10.399 We don't know that that means the world to me. 0:01:10.480 --> 0:01:13.240 And obviously I haven't met you in person, but of 0:01:13.280 --> 0:01:15.480 course I know who you are, so that means like 0:01:16.040 --> 0:01:19.280 that means so much to me. And yeah, it's been 0:01:19.319 --> 0:01:23.160 a rough couple of years, but hearing stuff like that 0:01:23.200 --> 0:01:26.920 from other women like really means the world to me, 0:01:27.920 --> 0:01:30.680 Like it really makes a difference in my life and 0:01:30.720 --> 0:01:34.319 like makes it easier to share on a public level 0:01:35.040 --> 0:01:37.920 what I'm going through whatever. Other women like tell me 0:01:38.000 --> 0:01:42.720 that they, you know, see what it is, and you know, 0:01:42.760 --> 0:01:45.040 maybe I've like helped a couple of other women like 0:01:45.319 --> 0:01:48.000 realize their toxic relationships and this and that, like it 0:01:48.040 --> 0:01:49.480 really just like makes a difference. 0:01:49.520 --> 0:01:54.400 So thank you. I appreciate that absolutely. Yeah, I having 0:01:54.520 --> 0:01:58.840 been on reality for years, Yeah, I always say, uh, 0:01:59.160 --> 0:02:05.120 we fail some so others can succeed. Lead by example, 0:02:05.360 --> 0:02:09.680 opening our our lives and knowing that it helps others 0:02:09.760 --> 0:02:14.200 out there. It does. It's a it's a beautiful thing, 0:02:14.760 --> 0:02:20.320 not what you're going through, but inevitably. Let's talk about 0:02:20.320 --> 0:02:24.520 a bright spot. I want to start with Cruise, right, 0:02:25.440 --> 0:02:27.079 So wait, Cruise is four now. 0:02:27.480 --> 0:02:31.320 Yeah, he just turned four on April twelfth, so freshly four. 0:02:31.480 --> 0:02:34.440 I can't believe it. I mean, Tom is flying. I 0:02:34.440 --> 0:02:37.040 cannot believe it's four years old already. But yeah, he's four, 0:02:37.160 --> 0:02:39.280 So he's just so big. 0:02:40.639 --> 0:02:43.800 He's the best. Remember when you were pregnant and people said, 0:02:44.320 --> 0:02:47.200 don't blink. They always said this to me, don't blink 0:02:47.240 --> 0:02:48.919 because they grow so fast, And I was like, oh, 0:02:49.320 --> 0:02:53.079 oh my god, pregnant, you seem forever, every little step 0:02:53.120 --> 0:02:54.280 and then boom. 0:02:54.440 --> 0:02:59.040 Yes, like happens in no time. I mean the very 0:02:59.200 --> 0:03:01.120 end of your pregnant say, like you said, it seems 0:03:01.120 --> 0:03:04.800 like it lasts for so long and then you look 0:03:04.840 --> 0:03:06.880 back and you're like, oh my god, that feels like 0:03:06.919 --> 0:03:08.520 it was fever because I feel like Cruise has like 0:03:08.560 --> 0:03:12.320 always been here, you know what I mean. I did 0:03:12.440 --> 0:03:15.640 not think of like life before him. Now that he's 0:03:15.639 --> 0:03:18.639 been here, you know, so it's just, you know, he's 0:03:18.680 --> 0:03:21.320 just amazing. He's the thing I'm the most proud of 0:03:21.480 --> 0:03:24.320 in my entire life. And I'm sure you feel the same. 0:03:24.120 --> 0:03:28.240 Way I do. I do, yes, and I feel the same. 0:03:28.320 --> 0:03:32.600 I don't remember life. I mean I remember it, yeah, 0:03:32.639 --> 0:03:35.360 I have my like memories in my head, but I'm 0:03:35.400 --> 0:03:40.240 like life before my kids, it felt nonexistent, and it 0:03:40.600 --> 0:03:44.720 truly felt like, oh my gosh, this is my purpose, 0:03:45.120 --> 0:03:50.880 this is it Just it changes everything. And I know, 0:03:51.480 --> 0:03:54.440 so he just turned forward? So is he? Woy April 0:03:54.560 --> 0:03:55.400 twelve Aries. 0:03:55.880 --> 0:03:56.760 Yeah he's an Aries. 0:03:57.600 --> 0:04:03.720 Oh you got a little aries, little Aries? And what 0:04:03.760 --> 0:04:05.160 are are you a Capricorn? 0:04:05.600 --> 0:04:06.600 I'm an aquarius? 0:04:06.880 --> 0:04:10.600 Aquarius? Oh you're an Aquarius. Oh I love you even 0:04:10.680 --> 0:04:11.360 more now. 0:04:13.440 --> 0:04:17.239 I know, like, okay, so I'm not like huge into 0:04:17.279 --> 0:04:19.159 all of that, but like I'm not either. 0:04:19.520 --> 0:04:22.560 I know why I'm but sometimes. 0:04:22.040 --> 0:04:25.280 I look it up and everything, and like I'm just 0:04:25.320 --> 0:04:27.760 like I've heard great things about Aries and I've heard 0:04:28.279 --> 0:04:32.280 like I've heard both sods like crazy things and great 0:04:32.279 --> 0:04:34.640 things about Aries, and I'm like, well, he's going to 0:04:34.720 --> 0:04:35.440 be the great. 0:04:36.160 --> 0:04:41.320 Yeah, yeah, yeah, I only know aries women, so actually, 0:04:41.360 --> 0:04:43.640 and I don't know if it depends in aries male 0:04:43.760 --> 0:04:49.080 versus scenarios woman. Yeah, but he's he's yours, created by you, 0:04:49.279 --> 0:04:50.200 so he'll be amazing. 0:04:50.360 --> 0:04:50.640 Hell. 0:04:51.800 --> 0:04:56.160 And I know you just talked about his autism diagnosis, 0:04:56.760 --> 0:05:01.680 and I wanted to ask you about that, and I think, 0:05:02.000 --> 0:05:04.119 first of all, that's a very brave thing to share. 0:05:04.560 --> 0:05:07.640 And I think you're reasoning because it was going to 0:05:07.680 --> 0:05:10.320 be on the show and people would notice he wasn't 0:05:10.400 --> 0:05:17.640 completely talking doing that. But I just I wanted to 0:05:17.839 --> 0:05:21.920 ask you, what were your first signs that you start 0:05:22.080 --> 0:05:24.320 noticing perhaps he was on the spectrum. 0:05:25.160 --> 0:05:30.440 So whenever he was like before he started turning, before 0:05:30.440 --> 0:05:33.559 he turned two years old, he was talking a lot more, 0:05:33.680 --> 0:05:36.080 and he was you know, he was saying words like 0:05:36.160 --> 0:05:39.520 of course he started with the normal mommy, daddy. He 0:05:39.680 --> 0:05:42.320 was saying like hot Dog from Mickey Mouth's club House, 0:05:42.800 --> 0:05:48.360 his mama or dada dada came first, boom whatever. 0:05:48.800 --> 0:05:50.520 We won't hold that against her. 0:05:50.640 --> 0:05:53.920 No now all he said his mama, So it's like okay. 0:05:54.200 --> 0:05:56.440 But you know, he was saying a lot more words 0:05:56.440 --> 0:05:59.520 back then, and then I noticed, like the closer he 0:05:59.520 --> 0:06:02.919 got to that, he started regressing and stopped talking, like 0:06:03.000 --> 0:06:07.479 almost completely. He walked early, crawled early, did all the 0:06:07.520 --> 0:06:12.240 physical things like earlier on time, and then so it 0:06:12.360 --> 0:06:15.360 was all about his speech that I started noticing. And 0:06:15.400 --> 0:06:19.480 then he started he has stems, so so like he'll 0:06:20.200 --> 0:06:22.960 look out the corner of his eyes sometimes, or if 0:06:23.000 --> 0:06:26.080 he gets excited, he might like like hold his hand 0:06:26.120 --> 0:06:28.200 really tight to his face. So I just started noticing 0:06:28.240 --> 0:06:29.800 like little things like that. You know, a lot of 0:06:29.880 --> 0:06:33.640 kids on the spectrum will like flap and flap their 0:06:33.640 --> 0:06:35.840 hands and do different things like that. So he started 0:06:35.920 --> 0:06:40.400 like having those stemming things. So we kind of knew 0:06:40.440 --> 0:06:42.840 that we were going to get the autism diagnosis, Like 0:06:42.880 --> 0:06:44.040 I was prepared for it. 0:06:44.920 --> 0:06:48.080 But you have to do that thing with your pediatrician 0:06:48.120 --> 0:06:50.760 where you fell out the form like at this age, 0:06:50.800 --> 0:06:53.760 they did this and you check all the cognitive all 0:06:53.880 --> 0:06:55.159 that way. 0:06:55.800 --> 0:06:58.679 So he was going you know, his regular pediatrician. Everything 0:06:58.800 --> 0:07:02.960 was like perfect, you know, health wise, completely perfect. So 0:07:03.000 --> 0:07:06.280 then we had him meet with a developmental pediatrician and 0:07:06.880 --> 0:07:10.280 they you know, it's a process because even to get 0:07:10.280 --> 0:07:13.280 the appointment takes like three to four months, and then 0:07:13.320 --> 0:07:15.800 you go in there and then they have five different 0:07:15.840 --> 0:07:18.360 appointments because they don't want to just meet them the 0:07:18.440 --> 0:07:21.560 kids one time and diagnose them, which I appreciate. So 0:07:22.280 --> 0:07:24.840 you go into the office or you have a zoom first, 0:07:25.000 --> 0:07:28.080 and then you go into the office and spend time 0:07:28.120 --> 0:07:30.480 with a doctor with your kid, and then they go 0:07:30.520 --> 0:07:34.160 to school with your kid as well, and then they 0:07:34.160 --> 0:07:35.880 go back to the office again, and then you have 0:07:35.920 --> 0:07:40.240 another zoom appointment. So you know, it's a longer process. 0:07:41.080 --> 0:07:44.280 And whenever we finally got the diagnosis, you know, like 0:07:44.320 --> 0:07:46.440 I said, we were prepared for it, but it just 0:07:46.880 --> 0:07:49.600 it takes a while. And that's something like you know, 0:07:49.680 --> 0:07:53.200 early intervention like matters big time whenever you're you know, 0:07:53.760 --> 0:07:56.440 dealing with a kid that's on the spectrum. Because he's 0:07:56.480 --> 0:07:58.560 been in speech therapy since he was two years old. 0:07:58.600 --> 0:08:02.280 He's in occupational therapy. He has a therapeutic companion that 0:08:02.320 --> 0:08:05.880 goes to school with him every day. But he's doing 0:08:05.880 --> 0:08:07.880 so much better, Like whenever I talk about the stemming 0:08:07.920 --> 0:08:11.520 and stuff, like, occupational therapy has helped him so much, 0:08:11.720 --> 0:08:15.760 Like he hardly even does that anymore. And today he 0:08:15.840 --> 0:08:19.120 said orange, and like they it was like, that's a 0:08:19.200 --> 0:08:23.480 huge deal. So you just celebrate every single milestone and 0:08:23.760 --> 0:08:27.680 you know, saying orange is like that's huge. So I'm 0:08:27.680 --> 0:08:30.800 super proud of him, and I'm super excited for what's 0:08:30.800 --> 0:08:33.160 to come because he's just he's really thriving right now 0:08:33.200 --> 0:08:34.600 and it makes me super proud of him. 0:08:35.600 --> 0:08:42.120 Good job, mama, because it's from my experience. I've had 0:08:42.160 --> 0:08:45.319 a lot of friends that have children on the spectrum 0:08:45.840 --> 0:08:51.040 and they didn't not just they recognized it but didn't 0:08:51.040 --> 0:08:52.079 want to accept it. 0:08:53.280 --> 0:08:57.320 Or I think that's a big issue issue is people 0:08:57.400 --> 0:08:59.920 don't want to accept it early on, but early interview 0:09:01.000 --> 0:09:04.560 so much because and it can make all the difference 0:09:04.600 --> 0:09:06.120 because right now he's working on the you know, the 0:09:06.160 --> 0:09:09.840 building blocks of his brain. So I will do whatever 0:09:09.880 --> 0:09:13.079 I can and me coming out publicly, I feel like 0:09:13.240 --> 0:09:16.920 can help other parents like notice these different signs and 0:09:17.000 --> 0:09:19.640 different things, and I just really want to use my 0:09:19.640 --> 0:09:24.600 platform to help because that will make the biggest difference 0:09:24.760 --> 0:09:26.600 in a couple of years since we started him so 0:09:26.720 --> 0:09:28.199 early and all these other things. 0:09:28.920 --> 0:09:33.480 Of course, of course, yes, and I feel like this 0:09:33.640 --> 0:09:37.679 generation like it's talked about so much more. I mean, 0:09:37.720 --> 0:09:41.960 it's interesting, you're obviously way younger than me, but you know, 0:09:42.360 --> 0:09:46.520 like growing up. But it's not like, in my opinion, 0:09:46.960 --> 0:09:50.560 I feel like autism just come about. It was just 0:09:51.200 --> 0:09:56.280 not a diagnosed condition before or being on the spectrum. 0:09:56.400 --> 0:10:00.959 So it's I'm so I feel like we're also blessed 0:10:00.960 --> 0:10:04.720 that people are so openly talking about it. Yes, not honestly, 0:10:04.840 --> 0:10:09.640 when it's a reality and it's a part of life. 0:10:09.880 --> 0:10:12.600 And I just think it. I think it's great what 0:10:12.640 --> 0:10:18.440 you're doing. Thank you, and and yes you will be rewarded. 0:10:19.880 --> 0:10:21.920 You're like, I'm waiting for it. I'm waiting for it. 0:10:22.400 --> 0:10:24.640 I just want to be a positive advocate for the 0:10:24.720 --> 0:10:28.160 autism spectrum community because I just feel like there needs 0:10:28.200 --> 0:10:30.280 to be more of that out there, because even though 0:10:30.320 --> 0:10:32.880 it is talked about a lot more now, there's still 0:10:32.920 --> 0:10:35.040 a lot of people who don't really get what it 0:10:35.120 --> 0:10:38.319 is and how broad the spectrum is and that can 0:10:38.400 --> 0:10:41.600 cause like a lot of misinformation to get out, and 0:10:41.800 --> 0:10:43.559 you know, I think it's important that we all talk 0:10:43.600 --> 0:10:47.960 about those things. And I've already met other people, you know, 0:10:48.080 --> 0:10:50.800 like I don't have any friends that have kids on 0:10:50.840 --> 0:10:54.240 the spectrum, so I was I've never met anybody, you 0:10:54.240 --> 0:10:57.320 know really, so I was just kind of like, what 0:10:57.400 --> 0:10:59.640 do I do? You know, I was just kind of like, 0:10:59.880 --> 0:11:02.880 I'm learning from the very beginning, and I have learned 0:11:02.960 --> 0:11:06.160 so much over the past couple of years, and I 0:11:06.240 --> 0:11:08.480 just really want to be able to like spread that information. 0:11:10.280 --> 0:11:12.800 I found as well with different things in life that 0:11:13.440 --> 0:11:16.400 if I didn't have friends that were going through different 0:11:16.400 --> 0:11:21.360 things with their kids social media. Actually, you know, while 0:11:21.400 --> 0:11:24.680 there's so many horrible things about social media, it was 0:11:24.800 --> 0:11:31.080 such a valuable connection about things to ask questions and 0:11:31.160 --> 0:11:34.760 make connections with people, you know, across the world that 0:11:34.840 --> 0:11:40.000 are like I'm going through this, or here's an example, 0:11:40.160 --> 0:11:44.000 or here's something you could do and try. And it's 0:11:44.120 --> 0:11:47.360 nice to be able to have that. Yeah. 0:11:47.440 --> 0:11:50.120 I mean, I've learned a lot myself from following different 0:11:50.160 --> 0:11:53.360 like pages that talk about autism awareness and different things 0:11:53.400 --> 0:11:56.120 like that, different moms and you know, after I came 0:11:56.160 --> 0:11:59.040 out with a People magazine article and I, you know, 0:11:59.080 --> 0:12:03.199 I talked about his zige. I had other like celebrities 0:12:03.240 --> 0:12:06.079 that were reaching out to me and had been through 0:12:06.120 --> 0:12:08.480 the same thing, and they, you know, people I can 0:12:08.600 --> 0:12:11.280 learn from, like Holly pet for example, like. 0:12:11.440 --> 0:12:13.200 Who's amazing I'm known as a favor. 0:12:13.640 --> 0:12:15.920 Yes, you know, she's been going through it. I think 0:12:15.920 --> 0:12:18.160 her son is twenty six or twenty seven, So she's 0:12:18.160 --> 0:12:21.000 somebody I could learn from and somebody I admire. And 0:12:21.120 --> 0:12:22.600 I feel like the more I talk about it, the 0:12:22.600 --> 0:12:25.240 more people like that I'm going to meet, and I'm 0:12:25.280 --> 0:12:27.920 excited about that. To learn from other people that are 0:12:27.920 --> 0:12:29.040 going through it. 0:12:29.040 --> 0:12:32.160 It's so important to speak out about it and anything 0:12:32.240 --> 0:12:35.679 your children are going through, you know, because we're all 0:12:35.760 --> 0:12:38.679 learning on the go. There's no amal yeah, you know, 0:12:39.640 --> 0:12:42.360 even you read stuff, you never know what's going to 0:12:42.400 --> 0:12:48.280 happen to your own kid. And even diagnosis like ADHD 0:12:48.400 --> 0:12:55.080 and ADD and it's just there's so many varying things 0:12:55.120 --> 0:13:00.559 and it just I feel blessed personally. And Chris is 0:13:00.600 --> 0:13:04.320 only four, but having kids that are older now that 0:13:04.440 --> 0:13:09.160 the schools are recognizing it and working with you, I 0:13:09.160 --> 0:13:11.920 think is a really great thing. 0:13:12.280 --> 0:13:15.120 Yes, I can say that everybody in his life loves 0:13:15.200 --> 0:13:18.439 him so much, like all of his therapists, his teachers, 0:13:18.800 --> 0:13:22.280 his principles hit like everybody they and I tell them 0:13:22.280 --> 0:13:24.360 that all the time. I'm like, I can actually tell 0:13:24.400 --> 0:13:27.320 that you really care, you know, about my son, and 0:13:27.360 --> 0:13:30.360 that makes the biggest difference and it's important, and I 0:13:30.400 --> 0:13:33.680 hope every kid has that same kind of experience, like 0:13:33.720 --> 0:13:36.280 every kid deserves that, you know, I. 0:13:36.280 --> 0:13:40.520 Agree, Yeah, I agree. So when you found out the 0:13:40.679 --> 0:13:45.520 diagnosis or I guess what I what I want to 0:13:45.679 --> 0:13:49.160 ask is about co parenting, which I know is it 0:13:49.200 --> 0:13:54.199 is not easy. I'm with you, it's a tough one. 0:13:54.760 --> 0:13:58.320 But were you guys on the same page about that? 0:14:00.520 --> 0:14:06.480 There are Okay, listen, Jax loves his son. He you know, 0:14:06.720 --> 0:14:08.920 he wants to be a great dad and he is 0:14:08.960 --> 0:14:11.840 a great dad. But he's never a scheduled an appointment, 0:14:11.960 --> 0:14:17.320 never hired a therapist, never hired a school, you know, 0:14:17.440 --> 0:14:18.000 nothing like that. 0:14:18.080 --> 0:14:19.760 Adult man, they don't do that. 0:14:20.120 --> 0:14:26.200 Yeah, exactly, so exactly. So there's that difference. So every 0:14:26.240 --> 0:14:28.800 now and then, like if I feel like I want 0:14:28.880 --> 0:14:31.000 him to be in this school, and he's like, well, 0:14:31.080 --> 0:14:33.240 maybe he should be in this type of school. I'm like, well, 0:14:33.600 --> 0:14:36.400 you haven't done any of anything, you. 0:14:36.360 --> 0:14:37.440 Know, so it research. 0:14:37.760 --> 0:14:41.560 Yes, yeah, it gets at annoying, and that can make 0:14:41.640 --> 0:14:44.680 co parenting like harder because I feel like I am 0:14:44.680 --> 0:14:47.640 pulling the heavyweight, and if we disagree about something, it 0:14:47.760 --> 0:14:50.800 like aggravates me because I'm the one that like does 0:14:50.840 --> 0:14:52.920 all the research and I'm the one that's looking into 0:14:52.920 --> 0:14:55.920 everything and hiring everybody and doing all the stuff. So 0:14:55.960 --> 0:14:59.320 that could be that could be troubling, and I feel 0:14:59.360 --> 0:15:03.800 like that that's probably normal, you know. But there's a difference. 0:15:04.480 --> 0:15:07.160 Not that all dads are like that. Some dads are 0:15:07.200 --> 0:15:09.680 hands on and do everything, but I feel like there's 0:15:10.120 --> 0:15:13.200 a difference in moms and dads. 0:15:13.320 --> 0:15:16.240 For the most part, I agree with that a female 0:15:16.360 --> 0:15:19.680 brain versus a male brain. And there are some dads that. 0:15:19.640 --> 0:15:23.520 Are super do everything, do everything. I'm not trying to generalize, 0:15:23.560 --> 0:15:25.360 you know, there are some of them, of. 0:15:25.280 --> 0:15:28.760 Course, of course. I remember once I was I was 0:15:28.920 --> 0:15:34.400 talking to a healer that sounds so like hippie dippy, 0:15:34.760 --> 0:15:37.840 and I said, I'm just I'm frustrated because I have 0:15:37.920 --> 0:15:43.280 to do it all. And she said, because you can, yeah, 0:15:43.840 --> 0:15:47.920 And I went and and she said you have to 0:15:48.000 --> 0:15:53.160 reposition it because you're you're feeling so angry all the time, like, well, 0:15:53.440 --> 0:15:56.360 you know, why isn't he do this? Why isn't he 0:15:56.480 --> 0:16:01.560 do that? And it's like sometimes they don't work that way. 0:16:01.880 --> 0:16:05.360 And if you know that human and that's not how 0:16:05.400 --> 0:16:09.320 their brain thinks, then you take it on because you 0:16:09.360 --> 0:16:14.720 can do it all. And that helped me a little bit. 0:16:15.320 --> 0:16:17.800 Yeah, I mean I get I understand that because sometimes 0:16:17.840 --> 0:16:19.720 you just like think about it too much and you 0:16:19.760 --> 0:16:23.560 can like go to like anger or getting upset instead 0:16:23.560 --> 0:16:26.360 of being like, you know, I would do this anyway, 0:16:26.640 --> 0:16:28.320 you know what I mean, like even if we were 0:16:28.360 --> 0:16:31.240 still married or whatever, like I would still be the 0:16:31.240 --> 0:16:34.440 one doing that even if we were together. So I 0:16:34.520 --> 0:16:36.040 try to think about it like that as well. 0:16:37.320 --> 0:16:41.120 And I understand because I've been through it, and it 0:16:41.200 --> 0:16:46.640 is frustrating when you're like I'm juggling everything, my plate's full, 0:16:47.520 --> 0:16:49.960 and those are the things I feel like in general, 0:16:50.920 --> 0:16:55.960 Dad's just it's not there. It's in our wheelhouse, yiss, 0:16:56.120 --> 0:16:58.600 It's in our soul to kind of step up and 0:16:58.640 --> 0:16:59.240 do it all. 0:16:59.600 --> 0:17:01.360 I mean, even when we were together, I was the 0:17:01.400 --> 0:17:04.720 one book in the flights, you know, just just like 0:17:04.720 --> 0:17:08.000 a couple of things, hotels, stuff like that. So I 0:17:08.000 --> 0:17:09.280 should be used to it about now. 0:17:12.119 --> 0:17:21.400 Yeah, okay, so can we talk about Jack's Sure. You're 0:17:21.440 --> 0:17:27.000 so open, which is what I love about you, unfiltered, 0:17:27.200 --> 0:17:39.240 and I think it's so beautiful. So I watched episode 0:17:39.240 --> 0:17:44.520 one of the Valley and it was, you know, it 0:17:44.560 --> 0:17:49.720 was it was tough to watch and it was you know, 0:17:50.280 --> 0:17:53.159 I think as taking myself out of it. As a 0:17:53.280 --> 0:17:57.200 viewer and a fan, you're like, oh, you know, you're 0:17:57.240 --> 0:17:59.920 excited and you're like, oh my gosh, all this draw. 0:18:00.600 --> 0:18:03.240 I'm here for it. And like we said, you know, 0:18:03.280 --> 0:18:06.520 it makes people feel like, oh my gosh, Okay, well 0:18:07.440 --> 0:18:10.919 it's you know, celebrities can go through it, then we 0:18:10.960 --> 0:18:14.480 can go through it. Normalizes life a little bit for 0:18:14.560 --> 0:18:18.600 everybody out there. But for me, I got a little 0:18:18.600 --> 0:18:21.919 PTSD just because I've been through it. And I'm not 0:18:21.960 --> 0:18:25.840 putting myself in your shoes at all. But I was 0:18:25.920 --> 0:18:27.320 married for twenty years. 0:18:27.600 --> 0:18:30.560 I would never realized it was twenty years. Goodness, that's 0:18:30.600 --> 0:18:31.320 a long time. 0:18:31.960 --> 0:18:36.280 This year you got out. You got out. Yeah, be 0:18:36.359 --> 0:18:39.679 proud of yourself that you had the balls. Why do 0:18:39.760 --> 0:18:41.760 we say balls, Well, I. 0:18:41.720 --> 0:18:48.240 Don't know the ovaries, you had the big ovaries to say, 0:18:49.160 --> 0:18:51.760 I don't want this, I want best for my son, 0:18:52.040 --> 0:18:53.520 and I'm choosing to leave. 0:18:54.160 --> 0:18:57.119 I wanted to do that. My husband isn't at it. 0:18:59.440 --> 0:19:05.359 He's current sober and I'm proud of the work he's 0:19:05.400 --> 0:19:10.439 doing on himself. But I've been through it, you know, 0:19:10.920 --> 0:19:17.480 three times during our marriage and he got sober. I 0:19:17.600 --> 0:19:26.440 want to rehab treatment a everything very similar. You know, alcohol, cocaine, 0:19:26.440 --> 0:19:30.760 you know everything. I don't know the extense of what 0:19:30.880 --> 0:19:34.240 Jax does, but an addicts and addict, you know, it 0:19:34.280 --> 0:19:36.000 doesn't have to be drugs and alcohol. 0:19:36.119 --> 0:19:38.720 You know of you know many things, and it's very 0:19:38.760 --> 0:19:42.400 hard on everybody that is in the family and everybody 0:19:42.400 --> 0:19:45.840 that loves that person, you know, of. 0:19:45.840 --> 0:19:54.680 Course, and as they're human, you want to change them, yes, right, yes, 0:19:55.000 --> 0:19:58.400 we want to fix and we want to heal them, 0:19:58.640 --> 0:20:04.920 and so sometimes is just not possible. And I sorry 0:20:04.920 --> 0:20:08.119 I'm making this about me, but I oh, I love hearing. 0:20:07.840 --> 0:20:10.440 That because that just makes me feel like you understand, 0:20:12.280 --> 0:20:14.440 like the other side of it, because a lot of 0:20:14.480 --> 0:20:17.120 people will always ask me like how proud I am 0:20:17.200 --> 0:20:19.480 of him and stuff, and that can like bother me 0:20:19.560 --> 0:20:22.720 sometimes because of course I am proud of him for 0:20:22.800 --> 0:20:25.400 being sober, but like, I'm the one that has all 0:20:25.400 --> 0:20:28.280 that emotional damage and stuff that I still have to 0:20:28.280 --> 0:20:30.040 get over and it's going to take me. I have 0:20:30.119 --> 0:20:32.600 to heal myself. So hearing that all the time, like 0:20:32.640 --> 0:20:34.520 are you proud? Proud of him? Are you proud of him? 0:20:34.560 --> 0:20:38.000 I'm like, oh, you know, it can be frustrating. 0:20:38.600 --> 0:20:40.880 And that's interesting because that's the first thing I said 0:20:40.920 --> 0:20:45.240 about my husband. I'm proud of him, But you're right, 0:20:46.080 --> 0:20:51.199 thank you. Fuck it, it's frustrating. Yeah, we have the 0:20:51.320 --> 0:20:54.840 trauma that we have to work through because of it, 0:20:56.480 --> 0:21:03.360 and having been there, I know it's annihilating to your soul. Yeah, 0:21:03.800 --> 0:21:07.600 it just truly is. It breaks you down in every 0:21:07.680 --> 0:21:11.679 way and you just pushed through because you have that 0:21:11.720 --> 0:21:16.560 little being there that is your everything, in your why. 0:21:18.119 --> 0:21:23.720 And yeah, it's not easy and people. 0:21:23.600 --> 0:21:26.880 You know, I don't think people truly understand going through 0:21:26.880 --> 0:21:32.159 it on TV, yeah, and in the press and people 0:21:32.200 --> 0:21:33.560 reading in the comments. 0:21:35.960 --> 0:21:38.080 You know, people would say to me, well, you chose 0:21:38.119 --> 0:21:41.640 that life. You chose to go on a reality show 0:21:41.640 --> 0:21:43.960 and put your life out there, so that's what you get. 0:21:44.720 --> 0:21:48.520 And it's like, well, yeah, but I didn't. I didn't 0:21:48.560 --> 0:21:51.040 know my life was going to fall apart. I didn't know, 0:21:51.320 --> 0:21:51.640 you know. 0:21:53.680 --> 0:21:55.800 I get that a lot too. A lot of times 0:21:55.840 --> 0:21:58.880 people are like, you knew who he was, you knew 0:21:58.880 --> 0:22:02.639 what you were getting yourself in, you knew this, you 0:22:02.800 --> 0:22:05.000 do that, And I'm like, yeah, but like I didn't 0:22:05.000 --> 0:22:07.800 get married thinking I was going to this is where 0:22:07.800 --> 0:22:09.520 I would be right now, you know what I mean? 0:22:09.640 --> 0:22:13.920 Like I am very much a caretaker and somebody who 0:22:14.960 --> 0:22:17.520 does love taking care of people and does like really 0:22:17.560 --> 0:22:20.360 want to help people. And that could be a great quality, 0:22:20.400 --> 0:22:23.560 but it could also get you like ran over like 0:22:23.600 --> 0:22:24.560 it did in my case. 0:22:25.960 --> 0:22:30.840 Yeah, you become literally that door, Matt. Yeah, and you 0:22:31.119 --> 0:22:34.320 take it and take it. So episode two. 0:22:34.560 --> 0:22:38.879 Yeah, it's a really really tough one. That's one that 0:22:38.880 --> 0:22:42.520 should come with like a trigger warning because it's just, 0:22:42.760 --> 0:22:45.119 you know, you'll see it shows like the morning of 0:22:45.400 --> 0:22:47.280 whenever he finally is going to go to rehab and 0:22:47.320 --> 0:22:49.720 now like how hard I tried and you know he 0:22:49.800 --> 0:22:52.800 still wasn't, you know, taking things seriously, and it's just 0:22:52.880 --> 0:22:55.840 it's really it's really hard to watch. I cried a 0:22:55.880 --> 0:23:01.399 couple of times watching it. But yeah, it's a tough one. 0:23:01.600 --> 0:23:03.320 I'm gonna ask you a tough question. If you don't 0:23:03.359 --> 0:23:08.560 want to answer, I understand. Do you believe that he 0:23:08.640 --> 0:23:12.919 agreed at the time to go to rehab for the 0:23:13.000 --> 0:23:17.600 sake of cruising you or the show was filming. Is 0:23:17.640 --> 0:23:20.200 there any part of you that thinks like I. 0:23:20.119 --> 0:23:23.560 Mean, I've been very very open about this, because you know, 0:23:23.640 --> 0:23:26.560 he did Alex Bassin's podcast and he talked about that 0:23:26.680 --> 0:23:29.240 the fact that the only reason he went to rehab 0:23:29.320 --> 0:23:31.000 is because he looked in the back seat and he 0:23:31.040 --> 0:23:32.960 saw cruise and he was yelling at me in front 0:23:32.960 --> 0:23:36.000 of cruise and all that. And I was like, no, no, no, no, no, no, 0:23:36.200 --> 0:23:39.160 that's not true. We came home. I had to uper 0:23:39.200 --> 0:23:42.639 separately because he was so aggressive. I called his sister, 0:23:42.840 --> 0:23:46.760 I called his publicist, his manager, and Alex Baskin and 0:23:47.000 --> 0:23:51.920 I got everybody combined, joining teams with me that he 0:23:51.960 --> 0:23:54.520