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Speaker 1: Welcome to Carefully Reckless, the production of Our Heart Radio

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Speaker 1: and the Black Effects, And just like that, we're back

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Speaker 1: on the air. Welcome back to yet another another another

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Speaker 1: carefully Reckless episode. What's Your Girl? Just hilarious. So listen,

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Speaker 1: it's just me today and I want to get into

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Speaker 1: something very dark, hot and steamy, all right now, Yes,

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Speaker 1: hot and steamy. But notice I said dark first. So

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Speaker 1: if you haven't been up on the series You, season

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Speaker 1: three has dropped and is now streaming on Netflix. This

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Speaker 1: is a show, right, A love show, A love twisted,

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Speaker 1: dark romance and love show. Shout out to the main character,

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Speaker 1: Penn Badgeley for two reasons. For one, he is from Baltimore,

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Speaker 1: Maryland born race and for two, he is a phenomenal actor.

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Speaker 1: Now You is about Joe Goldberg and his sick obsession

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Speaker 1: with love l o v E. He stalks women. He

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Speaker 1: falls deeply, deeply in love with a woman and will

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Speaker 1: kill for her, like literally kill for her, and that

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Speaker 1: she will kill her too if she tries to leave

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Speaker 1: crazy right now. He stalks these women before he falls

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Speaker 1: deeply in love with them, and they don't know this.

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Speaker 1: They don't find out about who Joe really is until

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Speaker 1: they wake up in a glass box by the end

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Speaker 1: of each season, unknowingly preparing for their death. Now, this

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Speaker 1: is TV, and it's scripted, and it's sick, right, it's

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Speaker 1: sick entertainment, and it feels good to watch because it's TV. However,

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Speaker 1: there are real people out here that are so obsessed

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Speaker 1: with love and being in love and being obsessed with

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Speaker 1: having someone so badly that it drives them to do

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Speaker 1: violent things. That's a real obsession. That's a real disorder, right,

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Speaker 1: It's called obsessive love disorder. It's a real thing. What

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Speaker 1: is obsessive love disorder? Okay, So the abbreviation is old

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Speaker 1: obsessive love disorder, and the real definition is a condition

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Speaker 1: where you become obsessed with one person you think you

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Speaker 1: may be in love with. You might feel you need

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Speaker 1: to protect your loved one obsessively or even become controlling

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Speaker 1: of them as if they were a possession. Right now.

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Speaker 1: That is Joe Goldberg all day. Right now. I know

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Speaker 1: a lot of you out there who are listening may

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Speaker 1: know of a person or someone close to you, or

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Speaker 1: even somebody that you had to deal with that was

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Speaker 1: so madly obsessed with you. It's dangerous and That's why

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Speaker 1: you gotta be careful who you fall in love with.

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Speaker 1: You have to be careful to look at different signs

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Speaker 1: and different advances people make and all that type of ship,

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Speaker 1: because there are men and women like that. And listen,

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Speaker 1: while this has never been psychologically proven or you know, classified,

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Speaker 1: and none of that type of ship, like, it's still

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Speaker 1: real because this disorder stems off of mental health illnesses.

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Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying. This ship come from deep

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Speaker 1: rooted issues that you may have. And I have spoken

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Speaker 1: about deeply rooted issues and a lot of my previous episodes. Right,

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Speaker 1: and if you've ever come in contact with the person

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Speaker 1: with O l D, this is how you will be

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Speaker 1: able to know that they have the obsessive love disorder.

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Speaker 1: These are the some of their symptoms. They have an

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Speaker 1: overwhelming attraction to a person, like seriously, like overwhelming text

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Speaker 1: call if you don't call back right away, if you

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Speaker 1: don't answer, they get upset you don't return the texts

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Speaker 1: within thirty seconds, Oh it's more Texas coming? Or what

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Speaker 1: are you doing? Where are you? Constantly every day all

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Speaker 1: day seven. It's obsession also obsessive thoughts about the person.

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Speaker 1: You never know what they are thinking a lot of

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Speaker 1: times in some of the episodes of You Right, Joe

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Speaker 1: would be thinking about a female that he has to

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Speaker 1: beat off anywhere that he is. He will have to

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Speaker 1: go and handle his manhood anywhere he is, it doesn't matter.

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Speaker 1: I remember last season, season two, he was obsessed with

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Speaker 1: Love Love Quinn. That was just one of four women

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Speaker 1: that he's obsessed with over the whole series. Right prior

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Speaker 1: to actually get with her, he was working at this

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Speaker 1: grocery store. I think it was a grocery store. I'm

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Speaker 1: not sure if it was a grocery store. I haven't

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Speaker 1: watched season two since like last year or whatever, but

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Speaker 1: I think he was working in like a bakery or

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Speaker 1: a grocery store or something like that, and he would

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Speaker 1: go in the back and masturbate, like near the crates,

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Speaker 1: like in the back, you know what I'm saying, Like

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Speaker 1: we're stocking and all that ship is like where all

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Speaker 1: the inventory is. You're beating off thinking about Love Quinn,

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Speaker 1: thinking about somebody and that that's her name. Love. That's

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Speaker 1: obsessive thoughts about the person, seriously, and that's just one

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Speaker 1: example of obsessive thoughts. Also feeling the need to protect

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Speaker 1: the person you're in love with. Now, listen, it's nothing

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Speaker 1: wrong with protecting who you love. That that goes a

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Speaker 1: part of you being a man in a relationship and

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Speaker 1: also being on me. You want to protect and provide.

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Speaker 1: But when it becomes obsessive, it's a problem. I'm going

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Speaker 1: back to the show. This is all perfect reference for

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Speaker 1: this topic in the show. I'm gonna go back to

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Speaker 1: season one because I don't want to talk about season

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Speaker 1: three because a lot of people haven't gotten a chance

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Speaker 1: to watch it yet. Season one, when he was in

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Speaker 1: love with beck one of her back. That was his

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Speaker 1: first victim that we know of. He's done this ship before,

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Speaker 1: but this was the first victim that we've seen him

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Speaker 1: actually obsess over. She was dating this douche bag. Now, listen,

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Speaker 1: she was dating him. He wasn't dating her. She was

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Speaker 1: his funck buddy, but how she felt about him was different.

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Speaker 1: She wanted more. Right, Joe saw this. Now, she was

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Speaker 1: already involved with this dude when Joe met her at

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Speaker 1: the library. He met her in the library, Joe killed him.

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Speaker 1: Joe fucking killed this guy to get him out of

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Speaker 1: the way, just to eliminate this guy so Joe can

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Speaker 1: make a move Everything is premeditated with this person. Everything

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Speaker 1: is premeditated with a person who has obsessive love disorder

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Speaker 1: because they're very calculated. They think about everything before they

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Speaker 1: do it. Even if you watch the show, you see

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Speaker 1: Joe's thoughts narrate every episode because he's very calculated. He's

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Speaker 1: a thinker, and he thinks a lot before he does ship.

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Speaker 1: You'll see it. It's an amazing series, guys, fucking mind blowing.

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Speaker 1: So he kills the guy now. Also, Beck has a

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Speaker 1: best friend who is madly obsessed and in love with

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Speaker 1: her too, but not to the point that Joe is. Okay,

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Speaker 1: she's just the best friend and she does not like Joe.

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Speaker 1: She's very territorial, and she's a rich, snobby bitch. Right.

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Speaker 1: Her name is Peach Beck's best friend. He kills her too.

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Speaker 1: He kills her like I'm talking about now. He had

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Speaker 1: good reason to not like these people, but just killing

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Speaker 1: these people like there's no reason. And then one thing

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Speaker 1: Joe knows how to do is to get rid of

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Speaker 1: a fucking body and frame somebody else for a fucking murder.

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Speaker 1: He is so smart. Okay, that's Baltimore City, y'all. Nothing

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Speaker 1: to be proud of. But it's acting, so it's great.

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Speaker 1: But that brings me to him being such a sociopath.

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Speaker 1: He does not feel. The only thing he feels is love,

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Speaker 1: the love that he wants to feel, you know what

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Speaker 1: I mean. Like he won't even feel for the person

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Speaker 1: that he's killed because he only has one goal and

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Speaker 1: one agenda, Beck or whoever he is in love with

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Speaker 1: at the time, that's who I will kill anybody to

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Speaker 1: be with that person. If somebody is coming in the

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Speaker 1: middle of us or standing in the way, I will

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Speaker 1: kill And in his mind, it's protecting the person, but

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Speaker 1: really no, it's not. Fucking sick and crazy obsessive love disorder,

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Speaker 1: possessive thoughts and actions, listen extremely jealous over other interpersonal interactions.

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Speaker 1: Going back to the best friend, Joe was territorial, so

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Speaker 1: was the best friend, but Joe is a different type

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Speaker 1: of territory. I will kill you, bitch, if you keep

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Speaker 1: on come around my bitch, I will kill you because

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Speaker 1: she only needs to be around me. I'm the only

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Speaker 1: one that can love her like this. I'm the only

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Speaker 1: one that can be obsessed with her. I'm the only

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Speaker 1: one that can protect her. I I I I I

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Speaker 1: obsessive love disorder. Lastly, low self esteem. A lot of

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Speaker 1: times people who struggle with obsessive love disorder have low

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Speaker 1: self esteem. Another thing you have to know about people

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Speaker 1: with O l D. They don't like rejection. They don't

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Speaker 1: take that ship easily. No no, no, no no, and

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Speaker 1: this ship is crazy a lot. In a lot of cases,

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Speaker 1: this symptoms coercing at the end of the relationship or

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Speaker 1: if the other person rejects you, and these are other

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Speaker 1: signs of the disorder. Repeated texas emails, phone calls to

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Speaker 1: the other person that they're interested in, a constant need

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Speaker 1: for reinsurance. Nigga, I love you, I love you, I

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Speaker 1: love you every day Like they just need to know that,

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Speaker 1: like every day seven. They need to know that you're there.

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Speaker 1: They need to know you love them back. They need

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Speaker 1: to know you miss them. They need to know that

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Speaker 1: that you miss them, that that I need you. They

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Speaker 1: need to know. The need to feel needed by you

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Speaker 1: is something else. Difficulty having friendships or maintain in contact

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Speaker 1: with family members because of the obsession over one person,

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Speaker 1: Like seriously, they don't even want your family getting too

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Speaker 1: close to you. All that type of ship friends you've

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Speaker 1: had for years, That is a threat to them. People

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Speaker 1: who have known you, people who know you more than

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Speaker 1: that person, that's a threat to them. Monitoring the actions

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Speaker 1: of another person. Listen, Joe would stalk every day, even

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Speaker 1: after they became his girlfriend and ship, he will still

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Speaker 1: stalk you to see what the you're doing, to see

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Speaker 1: if you're giving anybody else your time. It doesn't even

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Speaker 1: have to be cheating. I'm talking about giving anybody your time.

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Speaker 1: You can speak to the motherfucking postman, Joe gonna kill him,

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Speaker 1: That's just what it is. That's obsessive love disorder. Also,

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Speaker 1: controlling where the other person goes and the activities they

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Speaker 1: engage in that ship is crazy. And then you got

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Speaker 1: to think about why, why the fuck would a person

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Speaker 1: be this way? As I told you, As I mentioned

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Speaker 1: early in the episode, it stems from other mental illnesses

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Speaker 1: also how you came up your childhood like types of

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Speaker 1: attachment disorders includes disinhibited social engagement disorder that's D s

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Speaker 1: e D and reactive attachment disorder that's r a D.

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Speaker 1: And they both developed during childhood from negative experiences and

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Speaker 1: ship you know, like with your parents or other adult

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Speaker 1: caregivers and the show you Joe's mother when he was

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Speaker 1: a kid. She was getting a boo. She was on drugs,

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Speaker 1: but she was letting this guy beat on her and

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Speaker 1: you know, do foul things to her in front of Joe,

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Speaker 1: in front of her child, and he was just a kid.

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Speaker 1: The guy even hurt him, and the mother didn't really

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Speaker 1: do ship. So as a kid, his first body was

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Speaker 1: his stepdad. He killed the guy, and the mother was

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Speaker 1: so upset that he killed the guy. I guess you know,

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Speaker 1: that was her get high buddy, that was That was

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Speaker 1: her her guy at the end of the day, that

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Speaker 1: was her dude. She dropped her son off. After that,

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Speaker 1: she went and dropped Joe off at an all boys

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Speaker 1: shelter or something like that, like all boys group home,

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Speaker 1: where he would constantly get fucking bullied. All he wanted

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Speaker 1: was his mother to come get him, and he later

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Speaker 1: on realized she was never coming. He would get bullied

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Speaker 1: every fucking day because he was such a little boy.

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Speaker 1: He was such a little little weakling, you know what

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Speaker 1: I'm saying, Like, all he wanted was to go back

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Speaker 1: with his mother. So he held onto that ship after

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Speaker 1: being in there for years and years and fucking years.

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Speaker 1: He held on to the fact that his mother would

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Speaker 1: come back. He held on to that notion, like she

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Speaker 1: only dropped me off a little bit. She's coming back,

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Speaker 1: you know. She dropped me off until she gets her

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Speaker 1: ship together. That happens in real life a lot. She

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Speaker 1: never came back. In fact, when he got out of

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Speaker 1: the group home where he experienced the out of fucking

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Speaker 1: trauma childhood trauma even worse than before the ship that

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Speaker 1: his mom had put him through, he's seen his mom

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Speaker 1: again with another little boy. She had went on and

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Speaker 1: had another fucking baby and started a new life without him.

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Speaker 1: And he came up to her, even as a kid

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Speaker 1: steal and was like, who is this? Why would you

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Speaker 1: drop me off and tell me that you're coming back?

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Speaker 1: Why would you dropping Why would you drop me off?

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Speaker 1: You know what the funk? I just had to go through.

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Speaker 1: And then I come and find you with another little

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Speaker 1: kid that you're loving, and you're looking all good. Now

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Speaker 1: I'm talking about you look good like you look like

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Speaker 1: you on your feet, bitch, and you didn't come back

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Speaker 1: and get me. And she looked Joe and his baby,

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Speaker 1: little nine or ten year old eyes and said, I'm sorry,

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Speaker 1: it wasn't you, It was me, But I can't take

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Speaker 1: you because sometimes you just have to start over Joe

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Speaker 1: without your fucking child, somebody that you gave birth to.

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Speaker 1: So that's just the back story on why Joe Goldberg

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Speaker 1: is fucked up. Hold up, hold up. I know the

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Speaker 1: ship getting good, but listen to just a couple of

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Speaker 1: seconds of a commercial. If you love me, you'll listen,

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Speaker 1: all right. So after that, he gets adopted by this

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Speaker 1: fucking guy, this crazy, fucking guy who was locking him

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Speaker 1: up in a glass cage, ring a bell. Yeah, yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: locking him up, making him read books. Now listen. It

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Speaker 1: never showed if he was raping Joe or whatever, whatever, whatever,

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Speaker 1: but it showed that that was still abusive. You know,

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Speaker 1: you come from one abusive household and then you get

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Speaker 1: thrown into this fucking group home where you're abused by

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Speaker 1: your peers, and you know, but in the only person

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Speaker 1: that that is there to comfort you is one other

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Speaker 1: friend who was getting abused and a nurse who was

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Speaker 1: getting abused, you know. So that's all he knew as

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Speaker 1: a kid. He grew up around a lot of abuse,

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Speaker 1: a lot of abuse where he was being abused as well, right,

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Speaker 1: So that's all he knows even in love, because he

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Speaker 1: knows he wants to love, but he doesn't know how to.

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Speaker 1: All he knows is abuse. That brings me to borderline

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Speaker 1: personality disorder and borderline personnel city disorder can cause you

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Speaker 1: to be extremely angry, too extremely happy with a matter

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Speaker 1: of minutes or hours, Like it's crazy how you can

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Speaker 1: just switch. And a lot of people would refer to

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Speaker 1: that as schizophrenia, but no, it's literally borderline personality disorder.

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Speaker 1: All of that ship goes hand in hand, but they're

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Speaker 1: still very different. At the same time, anxious and depressive

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Speaker 1: episodes also occur. You know, you gotta think about it.

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Speaker 1: When considering obsessive love disorder, personality disorders can cause switches

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Speaker 1: between extreme love for a person to extreme disdain very quickly.

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Speaker 1: This is also obsessive compulsive disorder. Now listen, I know

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Speaker 1: we're speaking about obsessive love disorder, but it stems from

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Speaker 1: obsessive compulsive disorder. So this is o c D. I

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Speaker 1: know if y'all have heard of this. It's a combination

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Speaker 1: of obsessive thoughts and compulsive rituals. These are severe enough

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Speaker 1: to interfere with your everyday life. O c D can

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Speaker 1: also cause you to need constant reassurance which we spoke

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Speaker 1: about earlier, which can affect your relationships, your friendships, your bonds, everything,

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Speaker 1: because you're so obsessed with everything. People who suffer from

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Speaker 1: this disorder also can be very fucking delusional. So listen,

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Speaker 1: I had a stalker. I still have a stalker. I

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Speaker 1: know that he's listening right now. I've never seen this

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Speaker 1: person before in my life. Now listen. This is another

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Speaker 1: reason why I can't open everybody's d M s and ship.

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Speaker 1: So when people say I sent you a d M, listen,

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Speaker 1: I see. I see a lot of d ms that

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Speaker 1: I would love to respond to. However, that's a dangerous game.

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Speaker 1: I don't know who's on the other end of that

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Speaker 1: user name, you know, I don't know. You never know, right,

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Speaker 1: he's a stalker. He's made fan pages, he's made fake

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Speaker 1: pages with no profile, picture, no post, no nothing. He

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Speaker 1: has real pages like all types of pages, you know.

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Speaker 1: And one day I had just responded to him. He

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Speaker 1: was just very nice, and you know I would do that.

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Speaker 1: It's kind of like fan appreciation. I'll just go through

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Speaker 1: and the nicest d M s I will respond. I'll

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Speaker 1: be like, oh, thank you so much for uplifting me,

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Speaker 1: and this keeps me going. And this is very inspirational

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Speaker 1: and blah blah blah. Right, I did that. He kept

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Speaker 1: sending messages. That's all he needed was for me to

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Speaker 1: see that ship. Kept sending messages, kept making pages, kept

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Speaker 1: sending me all types of ship, like sending me collages

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Speaker 1: of myself, pictures that I have taken. I'm talking about

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Speaker 1: sending me videos of myself. He knows everything about me,

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Speaker 1: everything that there is to find out about me online,

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Speaker 1: he knows like all of that. This is when I

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Speaker 1: knew it was crazy. So I would like open his dams,

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Speaker 1: but sometimes I would not respond. I would only respond

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Speaker 1: to like every fifty messages. Okay, fine, and listen. He

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Speaker 1: was sending about a hundred a day. So I opened

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Speaker 1: up one day and he was like, I saw you

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Speaker 1: today down such and such and I was at that

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Speaker 1: fucking place that fucking scared the ship out of me.

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Speaker 1: Fucking sick. So now if I put two one two together, oh,

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Speaker 1: this person is from my city. Scared as fuck. Okay,

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Speaker 1: scared as fuck. So I immediately blocked that page. There

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Speaker 1: was another one up within minutes, hitting me again. Oh

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Speaker 1: did I scare you? I'm so sorry. I haven't opened

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Speaker 1: up a message since then, but I literally know who

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Speaker 1: it is because I know how this person talks. He

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Speaker 1: even nicknamed me, and I know that you guys would

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Speaker 1: love to hear the nickname, but I will not tell

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Speaker 1: you the nickname. He literally knows everything about me that

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Speaker 1: there is to know on the Internet, that everything that

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Speaker 1: I've put out there, everything you know. He knows what

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Speaker 1: I drive, like all that ship that is fucking scary.

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Speaker 1: That is a stalker that is delusional. So let's get

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Speaker 1: into the delusional part. He speaks to me as if

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Speaker 1: we are together. He speaks to me as if I

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Speaker 1: am his wife and that my son is his child,

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Speaker 1: and that we're going to have another child. He speaks

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Speaker 1: to me that like this is already like like Joe's

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Speaker 1: thoughts and the show you because this is how Joe

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Speaker 1: speaks about them in his mind. He replays constantly their

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Speaker 1: life together, even when he doesn't even know the person,

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Speaker 1: like he imagines like he's delusional. Stalkers are delusional. People

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Speaker 1: who have the obsessive love disorder are delusional. Okay, so

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Speaker 1: that brings me to current event. Now we haven't done

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Speaker 1: current events in a long time, but listen, this resonates

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Speaker 1: with the topic today. Black woman stabbed and torture for

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Speaker 1: four hours by colleague who had feelings for her, had

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Speaker 1: to lie and say she shared similar feelings to save

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Speaker 1: her own life. Now listen, that person was obsessed with her.

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Speaker 1: There was another woman who did that. An Asian woman

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Speaker 1: did that ship to one of her black female colleagues

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Speaker 1: whom she was obsessed with. Critically, she tortured this girl.

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Speaker 1: Now listen. That brings me back to the beginning when

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Speaker 1: I told y'all, although You is a show, it's real ship,

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Speaker 1: that's a real disorder. Although Penn Badgeley is a phenomenal actor,

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Speaker 1: that is really millions of people on this very fucking

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Speaker 1: planet who do this ship who suffers with obsessive love disorder.

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Speaker 1: To save her own life, the lady had to act

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Speaker 1: as if she felt the same way about the lady

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Speaker 1: that was torturing her, her stalker, because in our reality,

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Speaker 1: the people with O l D. I feel like if

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Speaker 1: I can't have you, no one will, and you will

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Speaker 1: not live. And just like that, we have come to

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Speaker 1: the end of this carefully reckless episode with your girl

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Speaker 1: Justice Larry's I want you to tune in next week. Also,

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Speaker 1: be careful. Be careful, y'all, because it is a sick, cruel, obsessive,

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Speaker 1: fucking world out there. Happy October and I love you

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Speaker 1: guys so much. Feel as Nice, Feel as carefully Reckless

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Speaker 1: is a production of I Heart Radio and The Black Effect.

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Speaker 1: For more podcasts from My heart Radio, visit the I

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Speaker 1: heart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you listen to

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Speaker 1: your favorite shows.