Speaker 1: Swine Down with Jane Kramer and I Heart radio podcast.
Speaker 1: So sometimes you guys might wonder what we talked about
Speaker 1: before podcast. Let me just I said, you guys stop
Speaker 1: talking and record this right now. So what we just
Speaker 1: started talking about is we came into the studio and
Speaker 1: there are sleep number pillows and for me, I don't
Speaker 1: like the fact that Mike has to sleep with about
Speaker 1: ten pillows because when I make the bed in the morning,
Speaker 1: where do I put those pillows? When you make the
Speaker 1: bed in the morning. Wait, wait, wait, wait a second,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry. Okay, yes, you do make the bed a lot,
Speaker 1: but you don't, but you don't when I make the bed,
Speaker 1: I make sure that it's pretty and that have the
Speaker 1: nights I practically make the bed. Yeah, but you make
Speaker 1: the bed are never used, but that looks better. So yes,
Speaker 1: you do coming into our room on a daily basis.
Speaker 1: But sometimes I like But I'm just saying I like
Speaker 1: to make the bed look really nice, like how the
Speaker 1: designers like have the bed made and what when I
Speaker 1: do do that, which again is rare, but I like
Speaker 1: to do that. But I would do it more if
Speaker 1: I didn't have six five six pillows to have to
Speaker 1: work with on your side of the bed because where
Speaker 1: do I put those? And then I put him in
Speaker 1: your closet and there's not room in the closet, and
Speaker 1: it's just frustrating because then you pull your pillows out
Speaker 1: of the closet, so I don't so I see these
Speaker 1: boxes here with pillows, And then you and Mark started
Speaker 1: talking about well Eastern only sleeps one pillow. He's like
Speaker 1: a he's a vampire that it stands straight up right. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: this is the pillow talk. We have one pillow each.
Speaker 1: We're going minimal. That was my wife's decision. And then
Speaker 1: Mark said that he has to have pillows all the
Speaker 1: way down his legs. So I mean, it's a big
Speaker 1: body pillow. It's especially made pillow for your knees. So
Speaker 1: clearly I'm not the only person who has this what
Speaker 1: Mike has it. But also they have a special one
Speaker 1: made for your knees together ankles. I think they take
Speaker 1: care of themselves up at blankets between my ankles stop,
Speaker 1: I don't like I just kind of wrapped them around.
Speaker 1: I don't like my skin to touch my own skin.
Speaker 1: And the funny story is that I've been that way forever.
Speaker 1: And I mentioned to my sister, and she's the exact
Speaker 1: same way. She has a special thing she wears between
Speaker 1: her boobs so her boobs don't touch when she's laying.
Speaker 1: She's gonna love you for saying that, Oh my gosh.
Speaker 1: And then do you like one? You like one to
Speaker 1: keep you propped up? Right? You know? All I know
Speaker 1: is that when we go to bed, let me just
Speaker 1: say this, he makes he makes a fort pillow so
Speaker 1: that I don't see the light from his eye bad
Speaker 1: because he plays games before he has to go to
Speaker 1: bed out of them in my heart, so I don't
Speaker 1: wake you up, right? But then I look over there
Speaker 1: to try to cuddle with you, and I have to
Speaker 1: fight through a fort pillow to get through to you
Speaker 1: on your side of the bed. I'm like, that's too
Speaker 1: much effort to go to strategically place so you don't
Speaker 1: wake me up. I see that, But what do you
Speaker 1: like to do with your pillows? I like to see
Speaker 1: I'm the same way as Mark, but I have to
Speaker 1: hold one and I have to have one between my legs.
Speaker 1: But I don't like body pillows because it's like I'm
Speaker 1: having another person. It's like cuddling, but it just makes
Speaker 1: me hot. So that's what I don't understand, and that's
Speaker 1: why I wanted to talk about this on air because
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, that's why I said press record,
Speaker 1: because if you like to cuddle with a pillow, what's
Speaker 1: the difference between me cuddling with you which you don't
Speaker 1: like to talk? It's so hot? Yes, but I know
Speaker 1: your body. You're cold as ice. You don't get proper
Speaker 1: blood flow to your extremities. But I'm like a human blanket,
Speaker 1: so anything I'm up against is usually hot, which doesn't
Speaker 1: make sense. And while you're holding a pillow, because when
Speaker 1: a pillow pillow breathes, it's not a human body. But
Speaker 1: what is it though? Is it the comfort of holding something? Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's just just train your mind to like comfort to
Speaker 1: hold me because it's too hot, No, hot bog. Could
Speaker 1: it be a stuffed animal? Could it be like a bid?
Speaker 1: Be sure to be big and comfy, and I'm big
Speaker 1: and comfy. But if I wrap myself in an ice
Speaker 1: dress tiny, yeah, that could work. You know that'd be good. Well,
Speaker 1: all I know is that now I'm going to have
Speaker 1: twenty pillows. So thanks Sleep number, I'm super excited to
Speaker 1: do your ad to have more pillows. Um, but talking
Speaker 1: about uh touch, it's very interesting. So I went to
Speaker 1: the O B g U I n this morning and
Speaker 1: I actually instagram well yes, actually he did, but my
Speaker 1: ob gyne is a guy. But I got cleared because
Speaker 1: it was the six week check up, so I haven't
Speaker 1: talked to you about it. Not he really for sex,
Speaker 1: No I got. I mean I got cleared to officially
Speaker 1: work out and do abs and all those things she's
Speaker 1: been doing. But I know I haven't done apps. So
Speaker 1: one of the things, and I said, one of my
Speaker 1: biggest pet peeves and I kind of can relate to you,
Speaker 1: babe about this. So I'm at the gynecologists and she
Speaker 1: has done this, and I said, I posted a story
Speaker 1: about this, and I said, you guys, I'm going to
Speaker 1: share on my podcast next week what drives me crazy
Speaker 1: at the gynecologist that this person does. And they're probably thinking,
Speaker 1: you know it paps me, but no it's not. So
Speaker 1: remember the nurse. I don't remember her name, but every
Speaker 1: single time I'm sitting to get my blood pressure, she
Speaker 1: rubs my back like in a slow circle movement, and
Speaker 1: it makes my skin literally crawl, and I'm like, I'm
Speaker 1: a thirty five year old woman. Why can't I say
Speaker 1: can you please not do that? But yet I sit
Speaker 1: there and here's the problem. So today she's rubbing my back.
Speaker 1: He is Jinna. He has just breathe, and I'm like,
Speaker 1: please put your hands off my back, and you're rubbing
Speaker 1: me like this is making me like I'm crawling inside
Speaker 1: my skin. But then my blood pressure doesn't read the
Speaker 1: first time, so she's got to do it again, and
Speaker 1: she rubs my back and doing it all over again.
Speaker 1: I'm like, this is what Mike feels with intimacy and
Speaker 1: running back world. Oh my god, I'm so sorry. Yea,
Speaker 1: but here's where I'm going to say, you're mean, because
Speaker 1: that's the nurse. I'm your wife. So do you really
Speaker 1: feel like skin like nails on a chalkboard when I'm
Speaker 1: rubbing your back? Sometimes? Yeah, I think I do. Your
Speaker 1: face is like I really want to say yes, but
Speaker 1: but I just don't understand why I can't say can
Speaker 1: you please not do that? But then I feel bad
Speaker 1: because I don't want to hurt her feelings. What is that?
Speaker 1: Can can anyone could? I don't want to. I don't
Speaker 1: want her to do that, but that's not you're saying
Speaker 1: you don't like something, isn't shouldn't hurt someone else's feelings, Mark,
Speaker 1: I don't think he would make her feel bad. I
Speaker 1: don't think she has any investment in rubbing your back,
Speaker 1: but she doesn't single time. I don't want just at that.
Speaker 1: But that's why I say could dependency because you don't
Speaker 1: want hurt because you make up that she will feel bad,
Speaker 1: so you don't want to hurt her feelings when really
Speaker 1: the reality is time. If you told that somebody, Okay,
Speaker 1: no problem, I wouldn't think twice of it. People, but
Speaker 1: people like you and me worry about that. I just
Speaker 1: feel like if I said, because my I'm like, be
Speaker 1: a big girl, be a big girl, Janna, tell her
Speaker 1: to stop rubbing your back, Tell her to stop rubbing
Speaker 1: your back. And I was about to say it, but
Speaker 1: then I'm like, I don't want her to think I'm
Speaker 1: a bee? But why why why would somebody think you are?
Speaker 1: Because I'm telling them to stop something, stop something that
Speaker 1: you don't like, right, I don't know, But I'm not
Speaker 1: saying it's easy because it sounds ridiculous when you talk
Speaker 1: about it like this, but I get it. But instead
Speaker 1: I'm sitting there like nails on a chalkboard, wishing she
Speaker 1: would get her hands off of me and stop rubbing me.
Speaker 1: You know, you'd probably be thrilled to stop you but
Speaker 1: I think that's our thing. I think she's an older lady.
Speaker 1: You know she's but I don't know. She kind of
Speaker 1: annoys me, and so it's just it's frustrating. We're also
Speaker 1: worried about what other people think. That's the bigger issue
Speaker 1: I think is that there's there's the quote that says,
Speaker 1: you wouldn't worry so much about what other people think
Speaker 1: if you realize how little they think about you, because
Speaker 1: they don't. Everyone just thinks about themselves. They're not thinking
Speaker 1: about you. But I'll be worried about I would to
Speaker 1: think of me, to think of an idiot, to think
Speaker 1: of a jerk. Yeah, they don't think anything about you.
Speaker 1: Do you think it's more of people thinking thinking that
Speaker 1: way that people are thinking about them or is it?
Speaker 1: Are we that way? Because in the past people have
Speaker 1: said what they meant and people get offended, like people
Speaker 1: are too sensitive and take it personal. It's like, oh,
Speaker 1: you don't want me to rub your back out. I
Speaker 1: was just trying to help you. Like, jeez, I was
Speaker 1: just trying to be here and support you and calm
Speaker 1: you down, but you don't want me to do it. Okay, fine,
Speaker 1: Like you're a bit right, and the next thing you
Speaker 1: see you're on on social media. Oh my gosh, I
Speaker 1: have the craziest She's the worst. I mean, I don't
Speaker 1: think she has social but I mean again, I agree
Speaker 1: with you. I think that's the bigger issue about the
Speaker 1: fact that why do we care what people think? But
Speaker 1: I do? I mean, you care. Just in therapy the
Speaker 1: other day, you you wanted us to do a different
Speaker 1: to resolve an issue different so that you didn't think
Speaker 1: our friends thought this way. You know. Yeah, sure, so
Speaker 1: it's like we so we care about what the people think.
Speaker 1: But I think it also depend Do you ever have
Speaker 1: your moments, like in that situation where you're just in
Speaker 1: a mood that you don't care and you'll just say it.
Speaker 1: I don't think I could get myself there because I
Speaker 1: really is, you know, frustrated as I was, and a
Speaker 1: no wad. I just can't say it. And I'm fearing
Speaker 1: my pop smear in three months because I don't want
Speaker 1: her to touch me. I'm fine with the pap smear.
Speaker 1: I don't want her rubbing my effing back. See, I'm that,
Speaker 1: I'm that. I'll have my moments where I'm out way,
Speaker 1: but also I have times where I just don't care
Speaker 1: at all. Like today playing golf with Justin and Garrett.
Speaker 1: There's like a seven year old man in front of
Speaker 1: us that was taking us. We has time on the
Speaker 1: tea box and finally I was like, we need telling
Speaker 1: the hurry up there. I know that's what I mean.
Speaker 1: He's like seventy and I was like, hurry up. Oh
Speaker 1: my god, Well your mean so mean. So we have
Speaker 1: Patty Stanger coming in millionaire matchmaker and apparently she's a psychic.
Speaker 1: Now so I'm a jill of all trades? What I
Speaker 1: did there? Jack said Jacket Steele. Um, so it was good.
Speaker 1: We have to explain your joke. I still don't get it,
Speaker 1: but that's fine. So, oh my gosh. Moving on, let's
Speaker 1: talk about sleep number, shall we? Yeah, and how excited
Speaker 1: we are about all the pillows? I mean, okay, truly,
Speaker 1: I am excited though, because we do have a lack
Speaker 1: of pillows in certain other rooms. Many couples disagree when
Speaker 1: it comes to mattress, behind which they seems like a
Speaker 1: small thing, but because of Sleep Number, Janna and I
Speaker 1: don't have to argue or have long discussions about this
Speaker 1: because she gets her firmer side, which she loves, and
Speaker 1: I love soft, cushy side of the mattress. So because
Speaker 1: of our sleep number, we're able to adjust it to
Speaker 1: our liking. Um. Yes, and if you come in during
Speaker 1: the January savings event and you can save up to
Speaker 1: five dollars on select Sleep Number three sixty smart bets,
Speaker 1: I like that because that's what we have. Do you know?
Speaker 1: The news Sleep Number also too. It helps everyone from
Speaker 1: pro athletes improve their daily performance through proven quality sleep. Again,
Speaker 1: as a parent, I love it because a good night's
Speaker 1: sleep is everything. So and I always say that you
Speaker 1: spend half your life in bed, so you need to
Speaker 1: have an amazing mattress. Sleep Number is the official sleep
Speaker 1: and wellness partner of the NFL. You only find Sleep
Speaker 1: Number at one of their five seventy five Sleep Number
Speaker 1: stores nationwide, so visit sleep number dot com slash Janna
Speaker 1: to find the one nearest you, Zola. It's something really
Speaker 1: cool too that I want to talk to you guys
Speaker 1: about because so my best friend Amy is getting married
Speaker 1: in Scotland and she's actually using Zola. So there's over
Speaker 1: five hundred thousand couples that have used Zola. It basically
Speaker 1: takes the stress out of planning because you know she's
Speaker 1: you know she's she's new to all this wedding planning stuff.
Speaker 1: Obviously it's her it's her first marriage and hopefully her
Speaker 1: last marriage. But so this site is really great that
Speaker 1: it's been helping her and many others. Obviously five hundred
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Speaker 1: slash Janna that Zola z o l a dot com
Speaker 1: slash Janna for fifty dollars off your registry Zola dot
Speaker 1: com slash Jana Um. We have a beautiful woman that
Speaker 1: just walked into the studio. Hey girl, y'all welcome Patty Stanger.
Speaker 1: Hi guys, Hey Patty Crystal in the middle of the room. Crystal,
Speaker 1: what is that? I think it's a crystal right that's
Speaker 1: supposed to wipe all the activity away. It's a light crystal.
Speaker 1: So Michael and I have we don't really we had.
Speaker 1: We've had some Crystal people on people. Crystal. You gotta
Speaker 1: have Jenna Dolana. She's obsessed with them. I see I
Speaker 1: heard the other night and she well she's she's got
Speaker 1: a YouTube channel with all these amazing Crystal Are you Crystal? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Oh see we are just like, don't know, I'm not
Speaker 1: like my Glass friend is like obsessed. And I'm like,
Speaker 1: if you're going to bad grade or you have a
Speaker 1: bad problem with your wife or your relationship, you take
Speaker 1: a piece of Celenia. You can get any crystal sto.
Speaker 1: It looks just like it's like it's kind of like
Speaker 1: a white um. I don't how to describe. It's like
Speaker 1: they make sticks out of him and you wipe yourself
Speaker 1: all over your aura and then you're good to go
Speaker 1: and all the negativity goes away. I mean, in theory,
Speaker 1: I think that sounds amazing, but I think, like you said,
Speaker 1: it's mind over matter because we had this one. Anyways,
Speaker 1: long story short is, you know, we're holding a crystal
Speaker 1: in our hand, and if I was like he said,
Speaker 1: if I was to hold a pen in my hand
Speaker 1: and I did some deep breathing, I would be centered
Speaker 1: and feel Yeah, but the crystals are alive. So the earth,
Speaker 1: the trees and the grass and the strawberries you eat,
Speaker 1: do they make you feel better? Okay, well, the crystals
Speaker 1: are alive. Chocolate makes me feel a little better, more
Speaker 1: better cut out? That comes from the earth. What about wine?
Speaker 1: Wine comes from the earth. That's a great all right. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so not only are you a crystal expert, you're also
Speaker 1: a millionaire a matchmaker. Uh so we have a bunch
Speaker 1: of questions, alright, hit me hard land. So it's like,
Speaker 1: I see Ryan like was the first person to like
Speaker 1: every month that you spent me on the radio. And
Speaker 1: he's like, come mon, Patty, got questions like a question,
Speaker 1: So like literally it's time for you to ask me anything. Okay.
Speaker 1: I love it very podcast about relationships. Mostly I can
Speaker 1: see that. So who's single in the room. The hot
Speaker 1: girl that just brought me into the Dories story is
Speaker 1: hot Tories. She wore the most she could be, Dory.
Speaker 1: Do you want to be on? I thought? Sorry, sorry,
Speaker 1: Tori wore these amazing genes with like a really cool story,
Speaker 1: your dress good, you know, to get out tonight. You
Speaker 1: know what the problem with Tori is? Tori? Can you
Speaker 1: get on? I'm not saying the problem. The only problem
Speaker 1: that I have because we were trying to pimper out
Speaker 1: when we're in Vegas. She doesn't know how to flirt.
Speaker 1: I know, I know how that. Guys, you expect the
Speaker 1: men to come to you, to initiate the flirt, to
Speaker 1: initiate the fir because what it is. And we live
Speaker 1: in bumble country now where men are like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: you asked me, you buy the lunch, you you know what,
Speaker 1: you call me, You chase and text me, and it's like,
Speaker 1: are you kidding me? We have to work twice as
Speaker 1: hard er now. I do have a question, though I'm
Speaker 1: somebody like I don't really have a problem because I'm
Speaker 1: I'm an extrovert to like the Max, so I love
Speaker 1: to engage in conversation with girls. No, I'm a guy's girl.
Speaker 1: But the exactly because you're buddy, you're gonna you're gonna
Speaker 1: hit him on the show and go you'll do let's
Speaker 1: go watch the game. No, he wants sexy mix, which
Speaker 1: is why I said she has a problem with learning.
Speaker 1: You don't have to go You don't have to go Kardashian.
Speaker 1: You just need to side entail. You need to you
Speaker 1: don't have to put out the low plunge to get
Speaker 1: the man. Like if you looked at the Golden Globes,
Speaker 1: how many lope I mean? And it's always the girls
Speaker 1: who don't have breasts that's my favorite part, you know.
Speaker 1: Or then it's the girl who has too big a
Speaker 1: breast and she just bought the new implants for the
Speaker 1: golden gloves. So you don't have to go crazy music
Speaker 1: because less is more, But you gotta get in the
Speaker 1: middle lanes a little bit of guy, you know, a
Speaker 1: little bit of flirt and a little bit of sex appeal. Michael,
Speaker 1: do you agree? I agree with breaking my to drink
Speaker 1: maximum with you? How's that you like that? To drink
Speaker 1: maximum tequila goes a long way? Oh? I hate tequila.
Speaker 1: You don't want to be a drunk though, No, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: you just want to get into it. When she hit
Speaker 1: the flirty zone of the drink, you stop and you
Speaker 1: pour a glass. Jenny McCarthy taught me this. Okay, she
Speaker 1: takes she she took me out once to sew how slashed.
Speaker 1: You know. She's like, how do you drink like this?
Speaker 1: And I'm not a big drinker. And she drank emergency
Speaker 1: in between every glass of alcohol, and and her skin
Speaker 1: glowed and she got flirt. I mean, nobody knows how
Speaker 1: to flirt like Jenny. Okay, take a page from McCarthy.
Speaker 1: I got it. Okay, she the best flirter in the
Speaker 1: sun my my pre married life. I was a pretty
Speaker 1: darn good flirter. You still look like you're a good flirter.
Speaker 1: She was, But you're But she's like, we're trying to
Speaker 1: pimp out Tory. At Vegas. It was like there was
Speaker 1: nobody to pimp out because somebody was like, Janna, can
Speaker 1: I get you anything? She's got this big, big I know,
Speaker 1: but still it's an attraction thing. Albody was like, who
Speaker 1: is this chick? Okay, but here's the little She's perky,
Speaker 1: you can put her in her pocket. You're tall like me,
Speaker 1: you like to wear heels, you're you're like me. So
Speaker 1: it's like we don't fit into munchkin land you so
Speaker 1: we have to do a little bit of like, you know,
Speaker 1: we gotta get real soft and take her down. So
Speaker 1: we have to go. We have to go, like, um,
Speaker 1: thank you so much for that drink. That was not
Speaker 1: a secting lessons from data. Do it? You gotta do it,
Speaker 1: you gotta go. That's the guy. Oh that I don't
Speaker 1: like that. It's not stupid, like you're stupid. It's like
Speaker 1: you're subtle and you're like cascance and you're vulnerable. You're
Speaker 1: what what about raising strong? You know, I want my daughter,
Speaker 1: she's going to probably be an Amazon and tall because
Speaker 1: my husband is super tall. I don't want her to,
Speaker 1: you know, to do that because I want her to
Speaker 1: be confident who she is. Okay, And that's what I
Speaker 1: do love about you. You're confident in who you are
Speaker 1: and I don't want to see Tori like playing with no. Listen,
Speaker 1: this is biology because once you get them to the
Speaker 1: gate and they like you, then you go back to
Speaker 1: your real stuff. And now you got them. But then
Speaker 1: that's that's how ever, doesn't it doesn't matter. They're in
Speaker 1: love by then you've had sex, all things are good.
Speaker 1: He's like, oh my god, I got the soft girl
Speaker 1: and I got the hard out. And then they'll say
Speaker 1: to you like today I need soft girl. Please don't
Speaker 1: bring your heart out, like, don't be who you are.
Speaker 1: Then No, I'm saying, be a mystery, as my mother
Speaker 1: would say, like nobody else I will. What I will
Speaker 1: say from a guy's perspective is what I'm best secting
Speaker 1: from what Patty's saying is it's kind of like playing
Speaker 1: the game right. So as a man naturally a taller
Speaker 1: woman and stuff like that, it's a little bit more intimidating.
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm bigger than most, so not for me,
Speaker 1: but maybe there's five ft ten guys out there have
Speaker 1: a harder time so to feel like they are still
Speaker 1: the man. It's actually at the beginning of the relationship
Speaker 1: to know that they are taking care of them, to
Speaker 1: know that you don't have this amazing strong female right
Speaker 1: off the bath. It's like me and I have nothing
Speaker 1: off for them, Like they just take care of themselves.
Speaker 1: I don't want to feel like I can't. No, it's
Speaker 1: not it's not that. It's that we live in an
Speaker 1: Instagram social media. We're married to our phones were not
Speaker 1: engaging anymore, and we live in this society right now
Speaker 1: where it's all about you know you, we forgot to connect.
Speaker 1: So in order to connect, we've got to, like, you know,
Speaker 1: kind of shed all this crap. And that's how you
Speaker 1: get soft. Once she gets solidly, once she gets soft,
Speaker 1: they love you the flirt. I've seen tall girls that
Speaker 1: are lanky, tall girls like six footers from supermodels, and
Speaker 1: they'll put the little flirty murdy on and I just
Speaker 1: sit there and I go, oh my god, look at
Speaker 1: the look at the water boy over there like dumping it.
Speaker 1: And it's because she's like, thank you, and oh my god,
Speaker 1: that was so sweet of you, and oh my god,
Speaker 1: you got tuna on my salad and without me asking,
Speaker 1: like you know, I watched this all day long. I
Speaker 1: will slap my child if she does that. I want
Speaker 1: her to be confident. I want her to be you know,
Speaker 1: I'm not saying she has to be a B, A T. C.
Speaker 1: H or whatever. I just want her to be. I
Speaker 1: want her to be a nast, right, that's I mean
Speaker 1: a million of matchwaker. I curse like a sailor. Okay,
Speaker 1: I mean, like that's why you watch the show, right,
Speaker 1: But but if you don't understand, it's not not being strong. Look,
Speaker 1: I'm outfit work and I'm beta at home. And that
Speaker 1: is why that's the way I like it, because I
Speaker 1: could not be outfit at home. I'd be exhausted. So
Speaker 1: it's hard for the man to see the beta. When
Speaker 1: you're at here. You can't see the beata you're calling
Speaker 1: the shot to, like Patty, come in here. You wanted
Speaker 1: to let what we got you on tennis? Like you're
Speaker 1: moving and shaken and you're hustling. Okay, And unless that
Speaker 1: guy at works sees you. One of these dudes here,
Speaker 1: if they're single and they're looking at you like, oh,
Speaker 1: I really love a hustle girl, they have to have
Speaker 1: a hustler mother to love that. Funny, that's the that's
Speaker 1: the dynamic. My mom was a hustler. I want a
Speaker 1: strong woman. My mom was really beta to my father's alpha.
Speaker 1: I want to beta. So wherever they come from, that's
Speaker 1: usually the DNA of what they choose. So and now
Speaker 1: I need them to bring their moms on our first dates. No, no,
Speaker 1: you need to ask them about your mom. Do you
Speaker 1: you know you'd say, oh, you're close to your family,
Speaker 1: open into questions. They go, I freaking hate my mother
Speaker 1: and I we haven't seen my mother in twenty years.
Speaker 1: But run, run run. You can never fill that void.
Speaker 1: What do you think about cheaters? Oh, well, my mom so,
Speaker 1: my mom was Mrs Mazel. You everybody watching the Marvel's
Speaker 1: Life and Mrs Masiel so in X three, my mother's
Speaker 1: first husband, who was my first father, I'm adopted, cheated
Speaker 1: on my mother and she was Mrs Mazel. She didn't
Speaker 1: cry in her soup, she didn't freaked f out. She
Speaker 1: picked up me up, put me into my grandparents house,
Speaker 1: said he cheated. I'm getting a divorce and my grandmother's
Speaker 1: talking her out of getting What will you do? You
Speaker 1: have no skills even though she went to college, and
Speaker 1: she's like, I'm not going to put up with this.
Speaker 1: And she tells him she wants a divorce. Now he's like, no,
Speaker 1: little bezos action there, he f y I she wants.
Speaker 1: He wants to keep his cake and eat it too.
Speaker 1: And you go every Wednesday night to this famous restaurant
Speaker 1: which is still their palace cabin in New Jersey, and
Speaker 1: he would cheat. She's like, I want a divorce. My
Speaker 1: mother's crafty, you know, She's thinking, how am I going
Speaker 1: to get out of this? I want a doorse those
Speaker 1: days you could fly to Puerto Rico and get a divorce,
Speaker 1: and he would He said, no, I want my cake
Speaker 1: and eating too. So she knew his best friend was
Speaker 1: a total freaking nerd. She sits down next to the
Speaker 1: best friend at the bar at seven o'clock when she
Speaker 1: knows her her husband's coming in. My father and she
Speaker 1: kisses him on the lips. The nerd, that was the threshold.
Speaker 1: You cheated on me, he thinks in his mind, little
Speaker 1: on that he cheated on her. Fludi putter Rica the
Speaker 1: next day, get divorce once a cheater. If they're cheated once,
Speaker 1: they may not cheat again. But if the history says
Speaker 1: that they've cheated, I like to call them jumpers. They're
Speaker 1: not really cheaters. They're jumpers. They go from relationship to
Speaker 1: relationship and trade up. They trade up, they trade up
Speaker 1: the trade and that's kind of like their mma. Oh
Speaker 1: you didn't you didn't make me feel good today, you
Speaker 1: didn't give me attention. I'm just gonna go find somebody
Speaker 1: who else does and there in mind, they don't think
Speaker 1: it's cheating, you know what I mean? Like, like we're
Speaker 1: finding out about Bezos today with the texts and Lauren
Speaker 1: and all this, I'm like, why did you want to
Speaker 1: file divorcee? Why did you wear a ring at the
Speaker 1: Golden Globes? Like? What really is going on behind the
Speaker 1: scenes here? Now? We don't know that because we don't
Speaker 1: know if this was an arrangement. But when you're blind
Speaker 1: side of talking about I have two kids and I'm
Speaker 1: teasing you and okay, haven't looked at the news this morning.
Speaker 1: But when I'm saying is no, two people are like,
Speaker 1: it's not snowflake city. Okay, I mean it's snowflake City. No.
Speaker 1: Two people are like you. You can't say, all man cheat,
Speaker 1: If you cheated once, she'll cheat again, because that's not true.
Speaker 1: There's a why, there's a reason. Is this a natural inclination?
Speaker 1: Did his other cheat? Did his mother cheat? Is this
Speaker 1: who he is? Is he's so excited about grabbing that
Speaker 1: brassy new ring that he doesn't care about his family,
Speaker 1: then he's not really a family man. And we've all
Speaker 1: been duped. We've we've all been where you've been. We've
Speaker 1: I've been cheated on. I'm cheated on by a firefighter,
Speaker 1: told never to date, a firefighter said, oh, he would
Speaker 1: never do that to me. Cheated on me. Nine eleven firefighters. Okay,
Speaker 1: on the cover of the of the you know the calendar. Okay, Steve,
Speaker 1: you know who you are anyway? Um in New York, Okay,
Speaker 1: cold Spring anyway. So the point I'm making is that
Speaker 1: no two people are alike because my father, my mother's
Speaker 1: second husband, never cheated on her and loved her to
Speaker 1: other day that he died. And so it depends on
Speaker 1: the situation. I hate saying absolute. I'm not an absolute.
Speaker 1: I just I'm always curious about, you know, because you're
Speaker 1: a matchmaker, and if you saw someone that did cheat
Speaker 1: on someone, you know, are you hesitant to then match
Speaker 1: the person with someone because they have had that pass.
Speaker 1: Usually council both sides, and if it's I'm not getting sacks,
Speaker 1: I'm not getting at tend shin Um. We've gone to counseling,
Speaker 1: we try to work it out. They're not giving me anything.
Speaker 1: It's time to leave, But I don't agree in cheating.
Speaker 1: I agreed you leave, Then you have another relationship, like
Speaker 1: you declare we're separated, you gotta move. I won't fix
Speaker 1: anyone unless they've moved out of the house. I have
Speaker 1: to move it up. They don't have to legal separation,
Speaker 1: but they have to move out of that house. Okay.
Speaker 1: And the other thing is you know, like, did you
Speaker 1: know that he was going to cheat my husband? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Did I know he was going to cheat? Did you
Speaker 1: have any clinations along the way. He's looked at girls
Speaker 1: at parties, he was flirty with a lot of women.
Speaker 1: He had cheated when we were dating before we got married.
Speaker 1: So I mean I maybe thought he might back of
Speaker 1: the head. Okay, but you thought, maybe, you know, maybe
Speaker 1: he got it was a one time thing. Okay. Well
Speaker 1: that's what most people think. Um. But generally speaking, UM,
Speaker 1: a man cheats for a reason. Now there's a ego.
Speaker 1: You know, I'm getting a piece of you know what
Speaker 1: that I couldn't get before. I didn't get the cheerier
Speaker 1: in high school, So therefore I'm going to go for it.
Speaker 1: But he got. Now I'm talking about like, I'm not
Speaker 1: talking about him. I'm talking about nerds that go off
Speaker 1: like they make a lot of money. The millionaires, that
Speaker 1: are nerds in high school and then they make a
Speaker 1: lot of money and then they cheat on their average
Speaker 1: annie wives because they couldn't get the movie star. So
Speaker 1: now they're now they're in the game. My best friend
Speaker 1: had an experience like that, and he said, I could
Speaker 1: never get those hot girls. And then you know, I
Speaker 1: got to the I got to the game, I got
Speaker 1: to the to the party and there it was and
Speaker 1: it was like, I was like, well why, And he's like,
Speaker 1: because I always wanted that. You have to find out
Speaker 1: why anything. I mean, I get that, I get that mindset,
Speaker 1: but I mean like she's like, she's saying that the reason.
Speaker 1: If you find out the reason, then I think you
Speaker 1: can kind of cancer the disclaimer. Does it make it right? Right?
Speaker 1: Right here? Nothing is right? Yeah, But if you're able
Speaker 1: to deep down, through therapy or whatever resource, find out
Speaker 1: the reason behind whoever whichever party is cheating and address that,
Speaker 1: then you can, I think you can kill the stereotype
Speaker 1: of once you always achieve ours. It's it's the why
Speaker 1: is the healing because then you go, I don't want
Speaker 1: you anyway because that's what you did it. But I'm
Speaker 1: gonna tell you something. You're gonna be blown away. Women
Speaker 1: cheat more than men. They just don't get okay, well
Speaker 1: they don't get out with this one. Well, they don't
Speaker 1: get caught because I don't get caught. And the truth
Speaker 1: of the matter is, if you've cheated, karma, it's like
Speaker 1: it comes around, cloes around. Well, that's why I forgave
Speaker 1: him in the beginning, was because I because I had
Speaker 1: that guilt that I did that in relationship, so I
Speaker 1: wanted to forgive him. You were the cheater, okay, And
Speaker 1: when you first I said, I didn't know you guys
Speaker 1: are together. Nobody gave me in front. This is my husband. Okay,
Speaker 1: thank you to my publistness, which I didn't know that. Okay,
Speaker 1: now I'm finding my I'm like, okay, okay, so you
Speaker 1: so you went out, we went out. He cheated, and
Speaker 1: then I took him back because I have not I'm sorry,
Speaker 1: it's not a relationship. I've cheated in the majority of
Speaker 1: my relationships. Because again it was the why did you cheat?
Speaker 1: Because the next new shiny thing, I wasn't getting the validation.
Speaker 1: I wasn't getting what the father issues that I didn't
Speaker 1: work through. Um, it's a long story. Give me one
Speaker 1: sentence reader, should I just what is it? Uh? Never
Speaker 1: felt like I was enough in my life. That's that's
Speaker 1: the self esteem essentially. So then I took him back
Speaker 1: because I kind of never got that. I wanted to
Speaker 1: be able to say I forgive, and he was like,
Speaker 1: you know, I'll never do it again because because in
Speaker 1: this relationship, I said, you know, I told myself and
Speaker 1: I've done so much work that I that's not that's
Speaker 1: not going to happen in this relationship. And so but
Speaker 1: then he, you know, obviously happened again. And you know,
Speaker 1: we've discovered more stuff. But I still believe that if
Speaker 1: you work on things, cheater is not you know, I
Speaker 1: pray to God it doesn't happen again. But you know,
Speaker 1: because we have the resources and you've worked on things,
Speaker 1: we do have two We have a six week old
Speaker 1: and you have a six week old and a three
Speaker 1: year Okay, so so you you know that she's cheating
Speaker 1: before you, and you cheated on her, which keeps the
Speaker 1: game exciting? Yes it does, Yes, it does. Subconsciously, it does.
Speaker 1: It's a subconscious thing. It's not unconscious. See, I've never
Speaker 1: cheated on him, and that's the problem that bothers me. Well,
Speaker 1: that's why that's subconscious. What do you mean the gate
Speaker 1: is open? So the thing is you both know neither
Speaker 1: one of you are clean, and now I'm clean in
Speaker 1: this relationship, not talking about It's not a relationship to
Speaker 1: relationship thing. It's a total of your complete, you know,
Speaker 1: history of relationship. It goes back to subconsciousness. So sub
Speaker 1: consciousness keeps it, keeps it alive, it keeps it exciting. Yeah,
Speaker 1: because me excited you, but you took him back. You
Speaker 1: didn't write because I love him and he's such an ass.
Speaker 1: I love him and he's such an ass. That's why
Speaker 1: I took him back. So you're going on tour right now?
Speaker 1: There's three cities I see, well, okay, damn it, Tory,
Speaker 1: I see three on here before. Actually I'm going to Richeville, Connecticut, Morristown,
Speaker 1: New Jersey, which I'm from Jersey, Pennsylvania, which is going
Speaker 1: to be filling in Pittsburgh. Where can our listeners see
Speaker 1: like the dates? If you go to Patty Knows with
Speaker 1: an I patty knows dot com, you can actually buy
Speaker 1: the tickets. There's v I p ones as well as
Speaker 1: regular tickets. Will be doing champagne. I'll be asking all
Speaker 1: your questions asked. So people do they raise their hand?
Speaker 1: Do they have to buy a specific ticket to get um? No? Actually,
Speaker 1: the show starts out at the interactive dating relationship show.
Speaker 1: I comme at kind of like stand up style. Then
Speaker 1: I bring people up on stage to fix, to fix
Speaker 1: each other up, picking each other up. I do this
Speaker 1: whole thing as well as relationship couples like you, somebody's cheated,
Speaker 1: do I fix that? Somebody proposed once when I did
Speaker 1: a live tour, and um, it's really interesting. I gave
Speaker 1: him somebody throughout their engagement ring because they're getting divorced
Speaker 1: and they propose. I said, I couldn't afford to ring.
Speaker 1: That's why I couldn't propose, and blah blah blah. He does.
Speaker 1: And then at the end of the show, anyone can
Speaker 1: line up around the corner ask me anything. Nothing is
Speaker 1: off top business love. But I'm psychic, so I people's
Speaker 1: energy is the biggest skeptic and psychics, so I read
Speaker 1: people's energy. I'm an astrologer and I can see things
Speaker 1: that nobody sees, so I can help you withever whatever
Speaker 1: endeavor you're working on. So did it just come to one?
Speaker 1: I'm claire audience. I I hear I know, I hear
Speaker 1: a voice. So I was gonna ask, what's the difference
Speaker 1: between clear audience and clare voidance. Claire voyant usually senses
Speaker 1: their audience. Here's I hear of? So you hear dead people? No,
Speaker 1: I don't see dead people. I see guides and angels.
Speaker 1: I actually talked to the guide or the angel, or
Speaker 1: my guide or angel. Sometimes I'll be mine something there's
Speaker 1: it's not about who is talking to me, it's upstairs information.
Speaker 1: How did you notice that you had that? Well, I
Speaker 1: was adopted as a kid, and my family was not
Speaker 1: into any of this, and they would shove it under
Speaker 1: the rug. And I would know who's getting a divorced,
Speaker 1: I would know who's getting pregnant. I would know who's done.
Speaker 1: I mean, my grandmother was going to die on a
Speaker 1: very minor surgery, and I begged my mother not to
Speaker 1: send her to the hospital for hip replacement. She died
Speaker 1: two weeks two weeks later from anesthesia. So it's like
Speaker 1: there are little things I saw then. I was always
Speaker 1: interested in the occult, so I studied with a lot
Speaker 1: of very famous psychics. I ran the Kenny Kingston Psychic
Speaker 1: network for four years. I was a practicing psyche in
Speaker 1: Florida for ten years and I just studied benephysics and
Speaker 1: then with meditation, I do transliental meditation. It hones my craft.
Speaker 1: So when you see me on Millionaire Matchmaker and someone's
Speaker 1: in the hot scene and I'm reading them and I'm
Speaker 1: breaking them and they're crying and they're freaking at and
Speaker 1: like Claudia Jordan's said, I saw I put her in
Speaker 1: the hot scene. She was a friend of mine and
Speaker 1: I didn't know this. And I said, they're telling me
Speaker 1: something happened to you at eighteen. You didn't You didn't
Speaker 1: tell your father. It caused a rift in your relationship.
Speaker 1: What happened? And she goes, how the hell did you
Speaker 1: know that? She starts crying, I was raped, Oh gosh,
Speaker 1: and my father wouldn't believe me. It's like and then
Speaker 1: we got on the phone and called the father and
Speaker 1: we healed the situation. So there's good and there's bad
Speaker 1: stuff that I see UM a lot of times, I
Speaker 1: know stuff's gonna happen with celebrities and things are going
Speaker 1: to happen, and you know things like that, How did
Speaker 1: you turn that into doing like millionaire matchmaker coming from
Speaker 1: this kind of background. My mom was a matchmaker and
Speaker 1: so was my grandmother, and so I ran great expectations
Speaker 1: for like eight years and the oldest dating service, the
Speaker 1: original match dot com, and um, I really didn't want
Speaker 1: to do it. I really was just doing it for
Speaker 1: the cash at the time, and it turned into something
Speaker 1: I was getting at a credit card dead. I was
Speaker 1: going to be a screenwriter. I was going to be
Speaker 1: in the I went to film school. I was like,
Speaker 1: this is just a side gig. I never thought this
Speaker 1: would be my main gig. Right, do you do you
Speaker 1: hear any? Hear anything? Ron Michael birthday? Give me your
Speaker 1: birthday February Pisces. And when's your birthday? I'm December two.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna sit you're you're coming up in a really
Speaker 1: good year. So you've had a terrible three years with Saturn,
Speaker 1: which was really awful to you. Um, but see, let's see,
Speaker 1: let's see nine, ten, eleven. Okay, so we're just about
Speaker 1: to get into Jupiter and your son. You could meet
Speaker 1: another man, but I'm not going to tell you that
Speaker 1: on your son. Okay, you could also be tempted. Okay,
Speaker 1: money is going to be really good for you and
Speaker 1: I and you and I do see are you getting
Speaker 1: into something to do with film? Yeah, you're doing something
Speaker 1: film related and that's going to be really big stepping
Speaker 1: stone for you. You're gonna Are you buying a new
Speaker 1: house we're building? Okay, there you go. Okay, Um, third
Speaker 1: child is possibility at the end of next year, so
Speaker 1: be careful if you don't want it. I do see pregnancy,
Speaker 1: as we just said yesterday, right, we think we're two
Speaker 1: kid family. But I do see you might want to
Speaker 1: get fixed. You have very sharp sperm. Yes, I do.
Speaker 1: That's okay. Did you are Do you doing something sports
Speaker 1: related to Okay, because it's what are we? What do
Speaker 1: you do now? Yeah? What I play in the NFL?
Speaker 1: But is there something like a sports product to drink
Speaker 1: a gadget give makes somebody gave to you and wants
Speaker 1: to promote it. I see you having some sport it's
Speaker 1: related product like an informercial thing that's happening in the
Speaker 1: end of next year. But I would be loved if
Speaker 1: you have any he said. This is coming from a buddy.
Speaker 1: A buddy made an invention. That's what they're telling me. Interesting.
Speaker 1: So keep your buddies, ask your buddies, is anybody your
Speaker 1: buddies close? But the film thing, it's going to break you.
Speaker 1: It's going to open your gates because you've been like
Speaker 1: stagnant and you're like, Okay, I need more, I need more. Um,
Speaker 1: where are you living right now? Here? Well? What part
Speaker 1: a city? I see you? Like? Where do you go
Speaker 1: to the beach? M who has a beach house? No? One,
Speaker 1: we know again if anyone has a beach house, they'd
Speaker 1: like to become friends with them. No, there's something like
Speaker 1: this summer you're going two weeks to a beach house.
Speaker 1: Because I see a beach house. But it's not like
Speaker 1: l A. It's it's like a quiet little town. Oh, Michigan.
Speaker 1: There that's a lake though, that's the same thing. Okay, water.
Speaker 1: I see you going away and really having a wonderful
Speaker 1: like the best time you've ever had in your life.
Speaker 1: And it's peace because you say, like here you in
Speaker 1: your in your head, you don't have enough peace pieces
Speaker 1: really important to you, zero piece because you feel very
Speaker 1: you feel like the organizer of everything. Ye. Yeah, so
Speaker 1: I feel like that's what happened. But I also feel like, um,
Speaker 1: you might also get a jewelry offer. You're getting endorsements.
Speaker 1: You're getting endorsements, and you're going to do some kind
Speaker 1: of I don't know if it's I can't say it's
Speaker 1: because I feel like it's supplements or what about girls?
Speaker 1: For him? Are we good? Is he good? Are we good?
Speaker 1: This year? Only females in my life are you? And
Speaker 1: Jolly Baby feel because because she told me I might
Speaker 1: be tempted, You're gonna be tempted. You're going to meet someone,
Speaker 1: but you you will realize the temptation. You're not. You're
Speaker 1: not stupid. You're not stupid. Let's just put it this way.
Speaker 1: You're not you don't have stupidity in you. Um. He's
Speaker 1: very sensitive and he's incredibly if you talk to him
Speaker 1: the wrong way, if you mentioned the wrong thing, that like,
Speaker 1: if you bring up when you fight. You can never
Speaker 1: bring up the past to him. Oh my god, you're
Speaker 1: gonna have to learn to lit it vault it because
Speaker 1: he's really trying right now, and he knows he's trying.
Speaker 1: You could pull a little more romance out for her.
Speaker 1: She's a little bit more romance. She likes date espectually,
Speaker 1: I'm going to be tempted, and she likes date night.
Speaker 1: She likes to dress up. You need more dressing up
Speaker 1: occasions that theater tickets, concert tickets, Kelly Clarkson's coming in
Speaker 1: January like concert ever? Okay, you want she wants to
Speaker 1: dress up? Is what I see. She looks at her
Speaker 1: closet and goes like she wants to buy a nice dress.
Speaker 1: Is what I'm picking. But else, let me ask if
Speaker 1: there's anything else that I missed. Okay, hold on one second,
Speaker 1: you gotta give me a suck. Is he gonna be
Speaker 1: good to me? He is in work mode. He's in
Speaker 1: money mode. He's not in He's not in mode. Can
Speaker 1: I say that on the he's in, he's in, He's
Speaker 1: in money mode. He wants nice things. He wants a
Speaker 1: new car. Okay, he doesn't want to drive like an
Speaker 1: SUV for the rest of his love. I like I
Speaker 1: see him wanting nice things, like he's looking in catalogs online,
Speaker 1: like he has this little little wish list. Yes he does.
Speaker 1: Can I can read? Now? Can I can read? I
Speaker 1: don't even know that. I don't know you mar a believer.
Speaker 1: I believe her. I'm not gonna saying I believe every
Speaker 1: Joe Schmo out there I'm picky bad believe that. Do
Speaker 1: you see it happily ever after for these two? Well,
Speaker 1: you can never do that. You only read five years
Speaker 1: out because things can change. I feel five years together,
Speaker 1: I feel I just keep seeing that third child. It's
Speaker 1: a boy too. I don't know why I see a
Speaker 1: boy another boy? Yeah, like, do you have two girls?
Speaker 1: What do you have? You have a boy and a girl. Okay,
Speaker 1: if I see another boy, this boy special. If you
Speaker 1: get the next one, I'm telling you, he's going to
Speaker 1: be very artistic, like incredibly like theater, movies, painting, drawing, like,
Speaker 1: he's super artistic. He's not an athlete. This one will
Speaker 1: want to make him an athlete. He's not an athlete,
Speaker 1: and you will love that he's artistic. It's not. He's
Speaker 1: just I don't start to say no, he's just artistic.
Speaker 1: I just see an artistic child, like painting and doing
Speaker 1: like creative stuff with you. You you like to decorate also,
Speaker 1: I do like to decorate. Yeah, that's your that's your
Speaker 1: little jam it's peace. Yeah, I do like it. Who's
Speaker 1: who's the cooker in the family? Okay, alright, you just
Speaker 1: you just hopped on that so fast? Okay, is this.
Speaker 1: Are you making a major kitchen, a stellar kitchen we
Speaker 1: are making beautiful and are you making an outdoor grill patio? Okay,
Speaker 1: because I see really big parties of you guys having
Speaker 1: with your friends and cooking. Because I see there's someone's
Speaker 1: a cooker. They said, do you see a game room
Speaker 1: with a poker table, because I'm trying to nix that
Speaker 1: right now. So if you don't see it, then maybe
Speaker 1: we can nix it out of them. I see you
Speaker 1: know what I see. I see a foldable poker table
Speaker 1: where he can take it out and put it away. Yeah,
Speaker 1: he's not getting his full poker. Now you're you're nixing it.
Speaker 1: You're you're gonna already have it. I nixed the chairs
Speaker 1: and what with the interior ladies. All I'm telling me
Speaker 1: was right now, it's like it's like it's like a
Speaker 1: game room kind of thing. I say, But it's not
Speaker 1: going to be what he thinks it is. Let's just
Speaker 1: put it there. No, I already found that out. It's
Speaker 1: not going to be let in other words, you're gonna
Speaker 1: make it cool. He doesn't have cool style. Sorry, you,
Speaker 1: I'm just telling it like I see it, Patty, where
Speaker 1: can our listeners find you because you are awesome and
Speaker 1: I want to I want to know more about we.
Speaker 1: Just follow me on Instagram at Patti Stangard dot com,
Speaker 1: Patti stang around Instagram, or with an ie, or go
Speaker 1: to Patty Knows. Patty Knows. We're doing webinars, We're going
Speaker 1: on tour. We're here to heal you. So register, get
Speaker 1: in there and buy the ticket to tell your friends
Speaker 1: and family. I don't care if you bring your grandmother.
Speaker 1: I got something for her. I'm amazing you guys. Patty,
Speaker 1: give it up, thank you, thank you. Uh So. Mark
Speaker 1: just asked when we were saying by to her, if
Speaker 1: I was getting annoyed with her? Did you sense my
Speaker 1: annoyance with her? I think the whole office building sensed
Speaker 1: your annoyance with her. No, I just want to say
Speaker 1: I love her. I think she's so sweep in the
Speaker 1: very beginning. I don't know what it is. I just
Speaker 1: don't like it when females. I don't like it when
Speaker 1: you do the high and hold the hair. It's just
Speaker 1: that's not how I want Jolia to be in front
Speaker 1: of someone. I wanted to be confident. I want her
Speaker 1: to stand tall and Tori yes, you're tall, but don't
Speaker 1: turn into it one of those. So if you don't
Speaker 1: like me, get out, you know, I mean, you know,
Speaker 1: I don't know, just be you be confident. I don't don't. Yeah, no,
Speaker 1: I I definitely took with a grain of salt, being like,
Speaker 1: if I'm lugging luggage around, sure i can have the
Speaker 1: guy next to me carry my luggage. Hey, I'm helping
Speaker 1: her out, but I'm not going to be like And honestly,
Speaker 1: the to drink maximum made me laugh too, because I
Speaker 1: was like, I'm like, this is Yeah, you don't like it.
Speaker 1: I don't believe that. I don't really need alcohol to
Speaker 1: make me feel comfortable, Like, yeah, pretty pretty comfortable. Who
Speaker 1: I am? I know, I think, I mean, I understand,
Speaker 1: you know. Some of it is hard to take not
Speaker 1: literally because some of the thinks she's saying seemed very literal.
Speaker 1: I don't think she was speaking in that sense. So
Speaker 1: I defend that aspect because I think it is more
Speaker 1: about just playing the game. But which I think the
Speaker 1: game it's so has changed over the years because of
Speaker 1: all the social media access to other people, because of
Speaker 1: the bumbles, tenders and all that stuff. So the game
Speaker 1: isn't the same. So I think she's still trying to
Speaker 1: like teach that in a way, teach so you know
Speaker 1: the girl isn't if she's alpha all day. You know,
Speaker 1: say someone here, she's tory all day doing her thing,
Speaker 1: handling business and kicking ass, and then they see her
Speaker 1: out and she's the same exact way. What's wrong with that? No,
Speaker 1: I'm saying, where like he doesn't feel like he can
Speaker 1: do anything for her because it's wrong with that? Why
Speaker 1: can't Why can't you just love her and love her
Speaker 1: for who she is? And why do you have to
Speaker 1: do something you don't? What do you? What do you
Speaker 1: do for me? You support me? You're my partner? What
Speaker 1: do you What do you do if you had to
Speaker 1: do everything? If I didn't make you feel I do
Speaker 1: do everything? He led yourself into that poot. That was
Speaker 1: a complete soft talk. But what by me being softer?
Speaker 1: That doesn't well, I don't understand that. What what would
Speaker 1: do if I'm if I'm softer? All I'm saying is
Speaker 1: you still need to allow your man to feel like
Speaker 1: a man sometimes to be taken care of. Like if
Speaker 1: you didn't, if you didn't feel anything like that, you
Speaker 1: opened my door. I'm not just talking about opening door.
Speaker 1: I'm talking about making you feel secure, making me feel
Speaker 1: taken care of. Well, that's sure, but I can still
Speaker 1: be a strong woman, that's it for sure. But I'm
Speaker 1: saying some of those mentalities out there, there are women
Speaker 1: that that don't ask her, that don't want that and
Speaker 1: don't show that they need to be taken care of. Well,
Speaker 1: if you're just saying I don't want you to do this,
Speaker 1: and then of course, and yeah, you're being a little hard,
Speaker 1: soften up a little. But right, that's the whole thing.
Speaker 1: She went to the extreme. But I think that's the
Speaker 1: kind of mindset that she's talking about, not to her extent,
Speaker 1: but well, I ended up liking her. I ended up
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Speaker 1: I was like watching TV and I just heard like
Speaker 1: her door open and her sound machine and her mossy stuff.
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Speaker 1: look back in the hallway and altsee is just the
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Speaker 1: I do have to bring up something because no, no,
Speaker 1: because I want to talk about it in future podcast episodes.
Speaker 1: But remember when we had our party at the Pier
Speaker 1: and the US Weekly girl kind of said, well, she
Speaker 1: basically brought up, oh, you're not breastfeeding with Jason. I
Speaker 1: kind of startled and said, I didn't. I didn't say that, remember,
Speaker 1: And she's like, oh, I thought you said that, you
Speaker 1: said you want breastfeeding, and you're like, I don't remember
Speaker 1: not saying that. Yeah, I don't. I don't remember saying
Speaker 1: anything about it, and finally I said, you know what, fine,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go out there and say that I'm not breastfeeding.
Speaker 1: And so the article was out on US Weekly UM
Speaker 1: last week and online, and I've had so many people
Speaker 1: reach out to me on d m S and it's
Speaker 1: just been really it's been really great. But also again
Speaker 1: I don't know what it is, and I think it
Speaker 1: seems to be a bigger conversation on another episode, but
Speaker 1: it's just really frustrating that I felt, especially moms, have
Speaker 1: all this pressure to to do it well, all the
Speaker 1: moms shaming to which is why you know, I want
Speaker 1: to bring on other women that have been mom shamed
Speaker 1: to talk about it, because it's just really frustrating. Whether
Speaker 1: it didn't work for me or doesn't work for other people,
Speaker 1: or maybe just in general, we didn't want to, but
Speaker 1: I feel it's almost like we feel like we have
Speaker 1: to explain ourselves because we're not doing how what we're
Speaker 1: told we're supposed to do. Yeah, I mean, it's I
Speaker 1: can't imagine like how that feels. I mean, I think
Speaker 1: I even from the dad's side of the husband's side
Speaker 1: is obviously we don't feel it nearly as much as
Speaker 1: y'all do, but I can. I can still sense that
Speaker 1: tension a little bit um when pete when it's asked
Speaker 1: and feeding. No, not not not when it's asked directly
Speaker 1: to me, but when it's asked to you and I'm
Speaker 1: there with you, So I can like kind of sense that.
Speaker 1: And but I also I get like people's not not
Speaker 1: their reservation around it, but I get why because that's
Speaker 1: the way humans have done it for so long. So
Speaker 1: anything other than the way you're biologically created to feed
Speaker 1: your child, I can see why. It's still a lasting Yeah, um,
Speaker 1: you know, a lasting thing, lasting stigma. It's just I
Speaker 1: totally get that. It's just frustrating when women are well.
Speaker 1: Breast milk is the breast milk is the best and
Speaker 1: and all the nutrients. I understand that you don't need
Speaker 1: to tell me something that I don't know, but I
Speaker 1: also need to explain to you why it's either not
Speaker 1: working or we're not doing it or we chose not to.
Speaker 1: So I don't know why we have to feel like
Speaker 1: we have to explained, just like we can't feel like
Speaker 1: we can say what we want to say exactly. Ties
Speaker 1: into the beginning of the episode, No, I was going
Speaker 1: to say the exact same thing. It's it's true, like
Speaker 1: why I feel like I have to hide the bottle
Speaker 1: when I'm in public because people are judging me. I
Speaker 1: feel judged. But again, this is worrying about. That's why
Speaker 1: I'm circling back to the top because it's like, it's
Speaker 1: so frustrating, but we get shamed so many people, so
Speaker 1: many people about the breast milk. It's like, I get it, Okay,
Speaker 1: I understand that, and there's a lot of women that
Speaker 1: physically can't maybe I physically can't do I have to
Speaker 1: explain to us, to everyone why we're not breastfeeding, but
Speaker 1: I feel like I have to, and really, you don't
Speaker 1: want to talk about it here the y. I mean,
Speaker 1: I have no problem talking about it, but I feel
Speaker 1: but it also it almost defeats the purpose of why
Speaker 1: can't it just be okay that we're not Why do
Speaker 1: we have to always explain our decisions? I agree with you, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I actually don't even think we should or need to,
Speaker 1: because then it's like you feel like you have to
Speaker 1: defend why we're not, and that's the whole that defeats
Speaker 1: the whole purpose. But I feel like I have to
Speaker 1: because I feel like I'm getting judged right, but we shouldn't.
Speaker 1: We we don't. We don't have to do anything. That's
Speaker 1: the thing. We we have discussed this. You and I
Speaker 1: are in the same page. We're the only two people
Speaker 1: that matter and this entire But then someone can say, well,
Speaker 1: actually the child matters because you're not giving them the
Speaker 1: proper I get that, And guess what. That's why I say,
Speaker 1: what's best for you is best for the child. And
Speaker 1: do you think that people are assuming the worst of
Speaker 1: you because you're in Hollywood and you have a certain
Speaker 1: amount of fame. Do you think there's an element there? Yeah,
Speaker 1: the thing, Oh, she just wants to protect her body
Speaker 1: or something like that. Which, by the way, if you breastfeed,
Speaker 1: you lose more weight. So that's that's the argument there.
Speaker 1: It's it's not about that at all. And you know,
Speaker 1: I don't know. I just we gotta figure that out.
Speaker 1: I got to talk to someone about that, you know,
Speaker 1: acording to Patty, we're going to have like a third child.
Speaker 1: So if you were dry in next time, were you breastfed?
Speaker 1: Excuse me, I was not breastfed. I was so was
Speaker 1: not breast fed. While we turned out pretty great. What
Speaker 1: I was just going to say, is it clearly it's
Speaker 1: not the only way to raise a child. Yeah. So
Speaker 1: I guess I'm saying this to also the moms out
Speaker 1: there that feel this way too. Let's just not feel
Speaker 1: like we have to defend our decision. Let's just be
Speaker 1: the best moms that we are and just be able
Speaker 1: to say a one word answer response is are you breasting? Nope,
Speaker 1: but I can't. I'm always well because of this happened,
Speaker 1: I know. And it's fun because I get the guilt
Speaker 1: my own mother about it. Really, Yeah, you know I
Speaker 1: can't have dairy, I think because I wasn't breastfed mom. Honestly,
Speaker 1: that's fantastic. That is fantastic. Oh. We have some emails
Speaker 1: and this was the first one. We are like Sarah
Speaker 1: and Ty don't even know if I want to read it.
Speaker 1: This is from Megan. No have Margarita, here's your voice plenty.
Speaker 1: I'm over your boy, Megan says. My husband James and
Speaker 1: I did it for fifteen years before I got married. Yes,
Speaker 1: fifteen years, so I know exactly how Sarah feels. I
Speaker 1: went through all of college, all of grad school knowing
Speaker 1: we would get married after graduating college. I expected him
Speaker 1: to propose at every vacation, anniversary or major life event.
Speaker 1: I was driving myself crazy. Finally, a year and a
Speaker 1: half ago, while on our way to the beach, he proposed.
Speaker 1: My advice to Sarah is to try to stop thinking
Speaker 1: about it, because that's when it will come. It's outrageingly
Speaker 1: hard to do, but try. But I recently learned my
Speaker 1: husband would have done it sooner. But he felt a
Speaker 1: lot of pressure to pick out the right ring. He
Speaker 1: said he looked at rings for about nine months before
Speaker 1: finally picking one. I'm not saying Tide doesn't need a
Speaker 1: solid push in the right direction most men do, but
Speaker 1: keep in mind as a serious life event for him
Speaker 1: as well. Megan, kudos to you girl for fifteen years.
Speaker 1: How do you hang in? I would? I mean you
Speaker 1: must have been unless you're fifteen when you guys started dating.
Speaker 1: That's the only exception through all of college, so maybe
Speaker 1: they were seventy Kudos to her for the fifteen years,
Speaker 1: not only for sticking out that long, but I make
Speaker 1: up that her mindset was just, you know what, whether
Speaker 1: I'm married or not, I'm with the person I wanted
Speaker 1: to be with, and I'm just gonna live each day
Speaker 1: like I'm gonna live in the present and just be
Speaker 1: with him, and I know we're meant to be together
Speaker 1: and it will happen. Granted that's a long time. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's way too long. But I don't know. Maybe I'm
Speaker 1: not saying that Sarah hasn't, but he knows the like
Speaker 1: he I hoped t I gets it now, like how
Speaker 1: much we've talked about this and how much pressure is
Speaker 1: on him that now at this point, just like you
Speaker 1: know what, accept it for what it is, and if
Speaker 1: you love them and you want to be with them,
Speaker 1: then just keep going. Is there something to that where
Speaker 1: you can just be like, you know what, I love
Speaker 1: this person and we're just if end up Goldie Han
Speaker 1: Kurt rustling it the rest of our lives. If you're okay,
Speaker 1: If you're okay with it, that's fine. I just don't
Speaker 1: think people like me and Sarah are okay with that.
Speaker 1: It's rare that both people would be on the same
Speaker 1: page for that. It's very rare. I think it's kind
Speaker 1: of like you can, can you ever really believe if
Speaker 1: the other person is because people will change their mind, right,
Speaker 1: and so there'd be people that change their mind and
Speaker 1: they tell the person, Hey, I want to get married,
Speaker 1: I want to have kids. Now it's like, no, I
Speaker 1: got into this because we had the same agreement with
Speaker 1: the same point of view. So it's like, even if
Speaker 1: you have that agreement at the beginning, is there leeway
Speaker 1: to change? Also, how do you bring it up right
Speaker 1: without putting the pressure on him because he wants it
Speaker 1: to be a surprise. I was years is not pressure.
Speaker 1: Six years is not pressure in my opinion, what you
Speaker 1: mean it's not pressure? You that's expected? Fifteen years, six years,
Speaker 1: five years? Four years? Been four years? Hey? Kind of
Speaker 1: five years? I think is the window, like it's time
Speaker 1: to get off the pot or produce, take a big dumper,
Speaker 1: get out Janna's windows about three to six months. So
Speaker 1: that is my window. But if you do bring it up,
Speaker 1: I feel like it delays things. I feel like if
Speaker 1: I was dating somebody and they said, hey, we should
Speaker 1: get married, I feel like even if I was planning
Speaker 1: and proposing, I can't do it now because it'll seem
Speaker 1: like I'm just responding to her request. I got to
Speaker 1: push it off a few months to get it out
Speaker 1: of her mind. So then every time she brings it up.
Speaker 1: It's gonna get pushed off farther because you want to
Speaker 1: blow her mind. You want to surprise, or you want
Speaker 1: her to cry. You don't want her to be totally
Speaker 1: expecting it. It's not all about you, guys, it's about
Speaker 1: us to thank you. Guys overthink as women, though. I
Speaker 1: totally think you guys overthink it, because especially when the
Speaker 1: girl is wanting it, she's gonna know, she's going to
Speaker 1: read an email, she's gonna go through your phone. Did
Speaker 1: you know? Maybe? Did you know? Maybe? Tell me now,
Speaker 1: Janna Ray. Maybe I'm just saying, girls, you have you
Speaker 1: been lying to me this whole? I'm just saying what
Speaker 1: tor Yeah? I think everyone wants to know. I'm just
Speaker 1: saying you did you know? I'm not maybe because maybe
Speaker 1: it's my answer. Maybe it's not an answer, Sure it is.
Speaker 1: It's my answer changeable. It's either yes or no. Did
Speaker 1: you have an idea that I was proposing you? I
Speaker 1: feel like we've had this conversation before. I said, and
Speaker 1: I said yes or no, and you say I don't.
Speaker 1: I don't remember. So that's my answer. I don't remember.
Speaker 1: Where was it? Where did you propose? I proposed? In
Speaker 1: our in our house, our first house in Nashville on
Speaker 1: her birthday in front of like thirty people. Oh, it's
Speaker 1: just a surprise birthday party turned engagement, so you knew
Speaker 1: you had a feeling. I'm not answering these questions because
Speaker 1: I don't have to. It's it's time, it's water. There
Speaker 1: were two kids, we're about to have a third, according
Speaker 1: to Patty, so like, what's going on? I don't remember. Sweet,
Speaker 1: youre gonna take this to your grade. I am going
Speaker 1: to take this one to my grade. Clearly it's a yes,
Speaker 1: because if it wasn't no, you would just say no.
Speaker 1: I had no idea. I was shocked. Maybe I don't know,
Speaker 1: but don't remember. I'm saying girls, no, they have emails,
Speaker 1: they have phones, They have certain things that they know,
Speaker 1: and they when they when they're when they're wanting it,
Speaker 1: they search. We don't care about being surprised. We want
Speaker 1: the thing ring. We don't care you guys want us
Speaker 1: to be surprised. We don't give up lying f about
Speaker 1: being surprised. That's BS. I call BS because you guys
Speaker 1: want to write Janna Kramer. I heart media dot com.
Speaker 1: But it's important to have your hair done and your
Speaker 1: nails done right when you get proposed to let me
Speaker 1: just say you almost don't want to be surprised. Were
Speaker 1: my nails done? Yeah? Because it was your birthday and
Speaker 1: I sent you. And you can't say someone told you
Speaker 1: because nobody knew. Okay, sweetheart, Well, I didn't tell any
Speaker 1: of reference. Any portrayal was their email, was their web receipts.
Speaker 1: She wouldn't have been able to see that stuff. Warmer.
Speaker 1: She's just flustering me on purpose. Right now. You didn't
Speaker 1: have any emails going back and forth with the jeweler
Speaker 1: that I might have read everything? Why did you cry?
Speaker 1: Did you play it up vague? Like here, I have
Speaker 1: no idea what you guys are talking about. I might
Speaker 1: be making that up. I don't know. She's she's an
Speaker 1: actress totally. She's totally making up because we literally, no,
Speaker 1: we're not knowing this. We literally we got in a fight,
Speaker 1: a huge fight, not uh soon before that, because I
Speaker 1: told her. I was like, look, she gave me the whole.
Speaker 1: I don't want to play house with you like I
Speaker 1: want to ring. I want to start a family x
Speaker 1: Y and Z and I told her at the time
Speaker 1: I started my house in Baltimore so I owned that house.
Speaker 1: We just bought this house together fifty and I'm like,
Speaker 1: I gotta wait for my Baltimore house to sell, like
Speaker 1: I don't want to strap myself financially. And she didn't
Speaker 1: really care about that. She's like, well, I want to ring,
Speaker 1: but if it's done so for five years. Well, because
Speaker 1: this guy thinks his house is going to sell tomorrow.
Speaker 1: How like you have to be more realistic as he's like, well,
Speaker 1: if it takes five years. So that's when we got
Speaker 1: into the fight was because I said I don't want
Speaker 1: to wait five years. Too bad, honey. Clearly I didn't
Speaker 1: have to because we're not even five years. We haven't
Speaker 1: even know each other for five years. Yes we have.
Speaker 1: It won't be five years. It won't be five years
Speaker 1: till this summer. Well, lucky me. Would you like to
Speaker 1: know the truth? Yeah? Anyways, that I Heart Radio Podcast
Speaker 1: Awards presented my Capital One or Just around the Corner
Speaker 1: and Capital one wants to give you the chance to
Speaker 1: get the coolest look at the nominees joined me on Thursday,
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Speaker 1: to banking reimagine. Vote for me, not for Janna. I
Speaker 1: think you can do that. Find a where be creative bunny.
Speaker 1: Did you know Oh my gosh, Michael, I didn't know
Speaker 1: what day that. I don't believe that because your birthday.
Speaker 1: We made this big thing out of your birthday and
Speaker 1: you're like, oh, you didn't suspect it to be your
Speaker 1: birthday with all the stuff. Okay, would you like to
Speaker 1: know the truth? Are you going to be mad at me? Okay?
Speaker 1: So I read your email, But the email that I've
Speaker 1: read from the jeweler was that it was it was
Speaker 1: stamp Why are you looking sad? Please? It was stamp
Speaker 1: marked in November, okay. And the email that I read
Speaker 1: was that you couldn't get the ring. So I did
Speaker 1: not think I knew that you were working on it.
Speaker 1: But then I stopped myself. I said okay, because you
Speaker 1: said that you were going to do it by one
Speaker 1: weekend and then the email and didn't happen. So I
Speaker 1: knew that you were working on it, but that you
Speaker 1: didn't have the ring. So that's that's what I knew.
Speaker 1: But I didn't know when I had a suspicion it
Speaker 1: was maybe on my birthday since we were we were
Speaker 1: making it such a big thing. But then I also
Speaker 1: didn't know because when I saw the surprise party, as like, God,
Speaker 1: there's no way he's doing it here with the surprise party.
Speaker 1: So I did not know the date, but I knew
Speaker 1: you were working on it because I did look at
Speaker 1: your email. So I was surprised, and I'm glad I
Speaker 1: was surprised, and I am glad that I didn't go
Speaker 1: back on your email to see if you purchased the
Speaker 1: ring a month later. Fair. That's the honest to God, Ruth.
Speaker 1: All right, thanks for running down everybody, big thank you
Speaker 1: to sleep number of his sleep number dot com. Slash
Speaker 1: Janna to find the one nearest Zola to start your
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Speaker 1: Janna robin Hood. Remember robin Hood is giving listeners a
Speaker 1: free stock like Apple, Fort or Sprint to help build
Speaker 1: your portfolio. Sign up at wind down dot robin hood
Speaker 1: dot com Master Twilight, register your account and redeem your
Speaker 1: code wind down Sleep, and make sure to email us
Speaker 1: and share your thoughts with the wine down crew at
Speaker 1: Janna Craneer. I heart media dot com. This is really
Speaker 1: fun and now we're going to have a fight in
Speaker 1: the car, So I can't wait to wind down next week.