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Speaker 1: Hey, besties. Before we get into this, really quick note,

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Speaker 1: the audio is not going to be up to snuff.

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Speaker 1: It isn't right now, and it's not going to be

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Speaker 1: because our microphone isn't working. There are a lot of

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Speaker 1: technicolt issues today. They will be resolved tomorrow. Please don't

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Speaker 1: comment about the audio. We're trying our best, but it

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Speaker 1: will be back to sounding Chris clear and under control tomorrow.

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Speaker 1: But enjoy the show because this one is a good one.

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Speaker 1: The Nikki Glaser, Yes year's Nikki. Thank you? Know? Uh?

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Speaker 1: Hello everyone? Hey besties? Hey no, uh hi ho between

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Speaker 1: you and me? I am I'm feeling a little too

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Speaker 1: good for a day that um contains a lot of pressure.

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Speaker 1: Not a lot of pressure. I don't know. I'm just

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Speaker 1: approaching I'm doing Conan um uh in four hours? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: less than four hours. I don't like to say it

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Speaker 1: like that. Some people could run a marathon in that time. Um.

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Speaker 1: I yeah, I'm doing Conan. This is my It's probably

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Speaker 1: like my seventh time on the show. Brag and I.

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Speaker 1: The last time I did it was in May and

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Speaker 1: it was over Zoom as well. Um. And following that appearance,

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Speaker 1: which was great, by the way, it ended up being amazing,

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Speaker 1: really funny, and everyone was pleased on there, and and

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Speaker 1: I had like a I think we were doing the

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Speaker 1: I think maybe we weren't doing the podcast then, but

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Speaker 1: I think no. I told you at the time that

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Speaker 1: I had like a major um meltdown after it, Like

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Speaker 1: I just I was on a walking my I was

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Speaker 1: living with my parents in May, obviously, and after I

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Speaker 1: got done with the cod in appearance, I like I

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Speaker 1: couldn't stop crying because I was like just regretted not

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Speaker 1: working hard enough on it, not being funny enough, it

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Speaker 1: being too I wasn't quick enough, like all these things.

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Speaker 1: And then it aired and it was fine, and my

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Speaker 1: parents were like, I remember walking the dogs in our

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Speaker 1: neighborhood during the day after I had taped it, and

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Speaker 1: they were just like they had that look on their

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Speaker 1: face that they used to have when I was in

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Speaker 1: high school and all through my childhood when I would

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Speaker 1: kind of overreact to things, and they look at themselves like,

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Speaker 1: we can't really like even nurture this because it's so

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Speaker 1: crazy and it's so irrational. Because they were like listening

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Speaker 1: to the interview through the door and they were like,

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Speaker 1: we it sounded like you had so much fun and

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Speaker 1: like you did that joke and that like we worked

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Speaker 1: on this, we you know, I like I went through

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Speaker 1: my talking points with them beforehand. They were like, it

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Speaker 1: sounds like you hit them all, Like what is going on.

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Speaker 1: I was like, I don't know. I just had this

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Speaker 1: deep regret and I was like really riddled with sadness

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Speaker 1: over it, like I had squandered this opportunity to Conan's

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Speaker 1: never gonna want to talk to me again, all these

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Speaker 1: dumb things, and then it was great, and then it

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Speaker 1: got like not that these lists matter, but one of

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Speaker 1: the jokes I did ended up as like one of

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Speaker 1: the funniest like moments of two thousand twenty based on

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Speaker 1: I don't know some like you know, Vulture magazine the

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Speaker 1: hundred Greatest Comedy Moments and and one of them from

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Speaker 1: that interview was on there, and it was just like,

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Speaker 1: looking back on it now, I'm like, that was such

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Speaker 1: a waste of like regret. It's so dumb because it

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Speaker 1: doesn't do I mean, I guess it propels you to

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Speaker 1: do better the next time and to like punish yourself,

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Speaker 1: but like the way I'm approaching it this time, I'm

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Speaker 1: not even trying. I just don't have that heaviness on

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Speaker 1: it of like it's conan, this is your dream. Like

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Speaker 1: last night, I was looking at the stars on the beach.

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Speaker 1: It was so beautiful. I'm like just laying out underneath

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Speaker 1: the stars at like one o'clock in the morning. It's

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Speaker 1: pretty dark out there, so you can see a lot

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Speaker 1: of shooting stars. A couple of times I thought I

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Speaker 1: saw a shooting star, but it was just like a

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Speaker 1: floater in my eye, and I was like, wow, that

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Speaker 1: that shooting star just keeps changing directions every time my

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Speaker 1: eye moves. Um, I hate it when that happens. Oh

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Speaker 1: my god. I was like seriously like, oh my god,

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Speaker 1: that is a UFO. Wait now it's moving up. Now

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Speaker 1: it's moving to the right. Wait, No, that's my that's

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Speaker 1: my direction I'm looking you don't You hate it when

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Speaker 1: you try to trace it. You try to like follow

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Speaker 1: a floater, but then you're like, it's the chicken or

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Speaker 1: the egg, Like is the floater following me? Or am

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Speaker 1: I following the floater? And I know floaters are a

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Speaker 1: sign of early glaucoma, So yes, I should get my

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Speaker 1: eyes checked. Please don't d m the show. Um, but

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Speaker 1: I am staring at the Stars, and I was just like,

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Speaker 1: think about, like just celebrate that you get to like

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Speaker 1: have a conversation with cod and when when usually when

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Speaker 1: I go into interviews, why can't I treat this like

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Speaker 1: you know, I always over prepare. But it's like, why

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Speaker 1: do I treat this like like uh, gymnastics routine at

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Speaker 1: the Olympics, Like I have to stick every lay like

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Speaker 1: I have to Why can't it just be a maybe

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Speaker 1: if I just show up and I'm myself and I'm

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Speaker 1: not trying to hittle these punchlines, maybe it'll be a

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Speaker 1: better interview. Maybe would be more connected that maybe there'll

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Speaker 1: be more like listening and riffing if I'm not worried

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Speaker 1: about what am I going to say next? So anyway,

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Speaker 1: I am just way less stressed about it. I went

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Speaker 1: over my jokes like once with before I talked to

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Speaker 1: the producer, once with the producer, and then once yesterday

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Speaker 1: with uh my, you know my team and Andrew or

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Speaker 1: you know my team being like the wardrobe people and

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Speaker 1: hair and makeup girl and a couple other friends on

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Speaker 1: the show and punched it up And I feel fine,

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Speaker 1: And the lack of preparation is making me nervous that

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Speaker 1: I'm like, I've changed. I can't. I can't compete at

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Speaker 1: the level I used to. I don't care enough. But

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Speaker 1: maybe I'm just more confident that I'll just be myself

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Speaker 1: because I gotta be honest. There's I read a great

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Speaker 1: between you and me. I read a great Billy h

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Speaker 1: Holiday quote that I'm like obsessed with. And I'm not

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Speaker 1: a quote person. And I know we have a segment

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Speaker 1: on the show coming up, not today but in the

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Speaker 1: future about quotes, because I've never been like a quote person. No,

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Speaker 1: are you a quote person? Do you like live by

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Speaker 1: any quotes? I have a personal mantras that I repeated

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Speaker 1: in my head, like especially when I get angry, But

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Speaker 1: it's not I'm not What do you say when you

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Speaker 1: get angry? Uh? It depends on the situation. Um, Okay,

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Speaker 1: you're feeling like your fiance doesn't love you, and like, oh,

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Speaker 1: you can't. I can't live like this. I can't. I

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Speaker 1: need to leave him. That kind of like irrational thought

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Speaker 1: where it's like this behavior will not I will don't

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Speaker 1: stand for it. It's not going to change. I need

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Speaker 1: to leave. Yeah, that would be everyone who is responsible

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Speaker 1: for their own happiness. So it goes back to you,

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Speaker 1: like always, it's not him, what are you doing? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: everyone who is in a bad relationship not that. No,

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Speaker 1: this is not off of what you're saying. Yours is

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Speaker 1: a good relationship. But like anyone who's like and he

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Speaker 1: does this, she's this, why are you putting up with it? What? What? Like?

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Speaker 1: Just what's your side of things? It's hard to do,

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Speaker 1: though it's a good one. The one that I loved

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Speaker 1: from Billie Holiday was I weld on. I took a

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Speaker 1: picture of it because I wrote it in a notebook

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Speaker 1: and then I shared it with Andrew because I was like,

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Speaker 1: this is it, dude, this is the fucking this is

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Speaker 1: like life. Um, this is like how I want to

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Speaker 1: live my life. And I kind of have been recently.

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Speaker 1: I really like my whole life. I've just wanted to

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Speaker 1: be someone else, copying other people, just trying to morph

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Speaker 1: into whatever version of a girl a guy would love,

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Speaker 1: or like a Comedy Central once this kind of person. Oh,

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Speaker 1: I should be like Amy Schumer. Oh I should be

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Speaker 1: like Sarah SILVERMANO. I should be like Taylor Swift, Like

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Speaker 1: I just want I don't want to be me, I

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Speaker 1: want that person's legs I want that person's eyes, I

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Speaker 1: want that person's hair. It's like, just so this quote

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Speaker 1: I like, told on, let me find it. Fuck, guys,

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Speaker 1: I swear to God, this is going to help us

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Speaker 1: all so much if I can just locate it. Okay,

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Speaker 1: here we go. If I'm going to sing, this is

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Speaker 1: Billy Holliday. If I'm going to sing like someone else,

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Speaker 1: then I don't need to sing at all. Oh. First

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Speaker 1: of all, I love that Billie Holiday said that, because

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Speaker 1: Billy Holliday has a weird voice, right, Like, I'm sure

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Speaker 1: Billy Holliday at points in her life was like, God,

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Speaker 1: I wish I could sing opera, and maybe she could.

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Speaker 1: I don't know the range of her voice, but she

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Speaker 1: sang like this, you know, like her voice was weird.

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Speaker 1: It wasn't like like iconic, but like her voice was

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Speaker 1: not like a standard quote unquote stand yes, Like I'm

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Speaker 1: sure she wishes that she could have sang arias and

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Speaker 1: broken glasses with her, like falsetto or whatever. I don't know.

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Speaker 1: Like there's there's singers like Beyonce, who, like by all standards,

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Speaker 1: is like the perfect singer, or Ariana Grande who can

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Speaker 1: hit these insane notes and then there's people like um,

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Speaker 1: like even on your Marina who does my theme song?

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Speaker 1: She like, she has an amazing voice and can do

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Speaker 1: so much with her voice, but she was always trying

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Speaker 1: to be something else with her voice. And one day

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Speaker 1: she was in the car and she just realized that

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Speaker 1: her voice is what it is, and then she stopped

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Speaker 1: trying to be something else, and then that's when she

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Speaker 1: hit So. I mean, obviously I've gotten to that point

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Speaker 1: where I'm not trying to be someone else on stage

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Speaker 1: as much. But I think in my own personal life,

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Speaker 1: like I don't I'm not a bad person. So the

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Speaker 1: things I like and the things I'm drawn to and

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Speaker 1: the things I don't like, I don't need to apologize

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Speaker 1: for them anymore. I don't need to hide them anymore.

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Speaker 1: And I and if I'm not as funny as someone else,

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Speaker 1: then fine, it's okay. If someone goes, wow, you know what, this,

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Speaker 1: female comics funnier than you, and they comment and under

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Speaker 1: the thing, oh my god, female comics suck. Nikki Glazer

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Speaker 1: is the worst. All she talks about the vagina. I

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Speaker 1: know that I'm not talking about my vagina because it's

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Speaker 1: an easy topic and because I want to get easy laughs.

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Speaker 1: I've never done anything in my life that is the

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Speaker 1: easy route. Literally ever, I've never fucking taken a shortcut

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Speaker 1: because I don't feel like I deserve them, because I

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Speaker 1: feel fundamentally not good enough. So I always have to

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Speaker 1: try harder to prove to everyone that I'm actually I

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Speaker 1: don't take shortcuts, So, like, why do I constantly go

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Speaker 1: through life like I am? If this helps anyone else,

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Speaker 1: I hope it does. It's certainly helping me to talk

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Speaker 1: my way through it. So I'm gonna be on Conan tonight.

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Speaker 1: I hope you DVR it, watch it on YouTube tomorrow.

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Speaker 1: It's gonna be hilarious. I'm gonna be very myself in

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Speaker 1: the moment, and I'm gonna try to like celebrate the

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Speaker 1: fact that I've arrived at a point in my life

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Speaker 1: where I am a regular guest on Conan. Anyway, dvr it. Also,

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Speaker 1: please check out the documentary Hysterical. It's so good. I

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Speaker 1: finished you yesterday, made me cry. It's so good, you guys,

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Speaker 1: I'm so lucky to be in it. Hysterical It's on Hulu.

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Speaker 1: You really will enjoy it. If you like this podcast,

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Speaker 1: you're gonna love the documentary. It gave me just a

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Speaker 1: whole new view on female comics and like my hair

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Speaker 1: and makeup people and my wardrobe people were listening to

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Speaker 1: me watch it. They just heard it and they were like, wait,

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Speaker 1: what is this? We need to like follow up. That's

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Speaker 1: how good it was, just like you know the audio version,

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Speaker 1: so um, please check it out. And it's on f

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Speaker 1: X two. Also, it's prepared on Effects. It's now on

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Speaker 1: Hulu Hysterical, h Y S T E R I C

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Speaker 1: A L. And then Conan tonight Tuesday, and coming right up,

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Speaker 1: we've got Andrew Collin with some headlines. Hey, Andrew, welcome

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Speaker 1: to the show. Good to be here. Let's be honest

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Speaker 1: with everyone listening. Guys, don't don't. Don't listen. You've been

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Speaker 1: fake right now because we just said that we were

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Speaker 1: gonna be honest. So we keep it. We keep it?

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Speaker 1: Uh do people say keep it? Yeah? Well, first of all,

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Speaker 1: how to sleep last night? And then we'll tell everyone

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Speaker 1: what we need to tell them. I slept good last night.

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Speaker 1: I mean I got all six hours. You know, six,

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Speaker 1: I think it's supposed to be eight, Noah, eight right

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Speaker 1: between six to eight depends. Six is fine, But like

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Speaker 1: you got if you're doing sixes, you've got to get

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Speaker 1: into like an eight to ten at some point. And

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Speaker 1: we all know that you can't catch up on sleep,

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Speaker 1: but can can you not? Anyway? So you slept okay,

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Speaker 1: I slept okay. I've been listening to blink Us before

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Speaker 1: I go to bed. Blinks by the way, if you

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Speaker 1: don't know, and just join the pod. It's an app

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Speaker 1: where you can download it and you buy subscription and

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Speaker 1: it takes nonfiction and fiction books I think as well,

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Speaker 1: and it shortens them for you, but mostly nonfiction um too,

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Speaker 1: way easier to digest uh books, because the whole idea

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Speaker 1: behind Blinks is not that you're getting a CliffsNotes version

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Speaker 1: that's like less impactful. You're actually like ringing out the

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Speaker 1: towel of a nonfiction book which is padded with all

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Speaker 1: this bullshit because you can't sell a book unless it

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Speaker 1: is thick enough, and the information these people have to

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Speaker 1: give you is usually like a pamphlet's worth, and so

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Speaker 1: it just makes it a pamphlet and you can read

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Speaker 1: these books and or listen to them. I read that

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Speaker 1: one could one could do that, but you know, if

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Speaker 1: you do get this app, you don't have to do

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Speaker 1: it like everyone else. You can do it like Andrews. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: So what I do would I try to break it

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Speaker 1: up in two minutes. So every two minutes, I you know,

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Speaker 1: I I dive in for around a minute and a half,

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Speaker 1: I start to lose attention. Yes, but Sapiens you learn

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Speaker 1: about the evolution of man and woman, and what I

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Speaker 1: learned I'm still figuring out because I'm at a minute

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Speaker 1: forty five right now. Yeah, I just found out the

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Speaker 1: inder thoughts are different than the other thing. Well, I

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Speaker 1: I read. I read the actual Sapiens, but I only

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Speaker 1: read like two chapters of it. So you know, it's

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Speaker 1: probably one of my favorite books because I usually just go,

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Speaker 1: I get this, and then I just stopped reading it

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Speaker 1: because I'm like, it's so good that I want to

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Speaker 1: like live this book. So I've been trying to find

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Speaker 1: a cave man to date someone an actor from the

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Speaker 1: Guy Goog commercials. No, I already know that then, and

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Speaker 1: was answered, so did not, because we've already talked about

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Speaker 1: this today. Because guys, to be honest with you, we

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Speaker 1: already recorded a whole tues Day episode podcast about four

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Speaker 1: or five out five hours ago, and it was so fun.

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Speaker 1: The first part you just heard was from the original,

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Speaker 1: but we lost the audio on my audio from the

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Speaker 1: one we did, and we're gonna try to like give

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Speaker 1: you some of the stuff that we gave you in

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Speaker 1: that one. But I'm honestly happy that we lost it

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Speaker 1: because I have a feeling something's gonna happen on this

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Speaker 1: episode that we are going to be like, thank god

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Speaker 1: we lost it. And that's I'm framing this. Why do

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Speaker 1: I feel like it's me having a heart attack. I know,

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Speaker 1: you get really said, But the irony is in the

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Speaker 1: first episode that we taped today, there was a moment

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Speaker 1: where we thought we lost the audio, and Andrew got

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Speaker 1: so sad. He literally like put his head down and like,

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Speaker 1: Noah saw his whole energy shift right now what you

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Speaker 1: saw him and get intense eyebrows of watching you guys

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Speaker 1: through zoom, and he leaned over to the computer and

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Speaker 1: his whole face took over the zoom and his eyebrows

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Speaker 1: peeked and his face got pale. Yeah, he got like, uh,

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Speaker 1: he looked like it just uh seen a ghost. And

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Speaker 1: I was trying to think of a joke about how

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Speaker 1: a podcast could be a ghost. But it wasn't a ghost.

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Speaker 1: It was you the wrong window for the quick time?

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Speaker 1: I mean, look, I was just I was, Yes, I

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Speaker 1: looked at the wrong window, and I just thought we

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Speaker 1: had a great podcast. We're gonna do it again though,

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Speaker 1: right now, these next forty minutes, we need the best

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Speaker 1: forty minutes of our lives. For the next forty years

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Speaker 1: of our lives, we're gonna be the best. We're gonna

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Speaker 1: do the best. We have to keep doing this podcast

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Speaker 1: for several at least. We have a couple of years

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Speaker 1: that we got to do it for sure, but I'm

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Speaker 1: having to do this the rest of our lives, so

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Speaker 1: please do not. We just can't be the best of

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Speaker 1: our lives. This is the best. After this, stop listening,

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Speaker 1: We're gonna do it right. Well, then we're gonna I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna have to die soon because I want to go

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Speaker 1: out on top. Well I want to know, well, you

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Speaker 1: never on top, so it's probably not gonna happen. All right, Well,

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Speaker 1: guess what I will go out on bottom, going choke

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Speaker 1: me on the on the way here today. By the way,

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Speaker 1: I did do Conan already. I was supposed to do

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Speaker 1: it later in the day with ye yeah you did. Okay, Well,

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Speaker 1: I was just hold on excited Andrew watchman wal Conan interfeance,

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Speaker 1: so we had to drive everyone. Yeah, Conan laughed at Andrew.

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Speaker 1: I'll get to that too, but yeah he did. Conan

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Speaker 1: got a good luck. And I was trying to change

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Speaker 1: the zoom audio so that Conan like, because I can

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Speaker 1: go through the headphones, and I wanted Andrew to hear

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Speaker 1: Conan laughing at him. But he you saw it. He

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Speaker 1: laughed really hard. He like clapped and leaned forward. It

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Speaker 1: was such a good Conan laugh. But I'll tell him

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Speaker 1: what you did in a second. Um. We For all

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Speaker 1: of you who are listening to the show regularly, you

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Speaker 1: know that we're on location the Camean Islands and filming

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Speaker 1: a show. We're staying in a place that is about

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Speaker 1: thirty minutes from where we shoot most of the stuff

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Speaker 1: and where this amazing green room I have is. We're

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Speaker 1: in this amazing eleven I think it's about the eleven

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Speaker 1: million dollars beautiful house that makes me feel like I

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Speaker 1: need to marry one of Andrew's brothers. Only one, which

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Speaker 1: my step brother Jake. Oh yeah, that's the one, Jake.

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Speaker 1: Jake's probably gonna stumble up on some oil or something

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Speaker 1: that he's gonna strike it. Rich tell Jake the snake

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Speaker 1: married a possum down there, and for yeah, you never

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Speaker 1: know what Jake the snake. Um. But um, I am

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Speaker 1: here at this place because our wife I was so

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Speaker 1: shitty at our place, um that we had to come

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Speaker 1: here and I got my hair and makeup done and

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Speaker 1: then I employed my new uh but like girls on

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Speaker 1: the show that are my friends, We're gonna show Jen

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Speaker 1: and Robin. We had them like set design and make

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Speaker 1: it look like I had like a nice bedroom. When

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Speaker 1: Conan got on the zoom, he was like, is this

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Speaker 1: your house? And I was like no, And I was

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Speaker 1: like this is There is a guitar behind me. It's

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Speaker 1: not my guitar, but I said, I am playing guitar,

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Speaker 1: so I feel like it's okay for me to have

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Speaker 1: it because that is who I am now. And then

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Speaker 1: I got to asking about the guitar. I mean, it

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Speaker 1: was very cool. This is all pre interview, but during

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Speaker 1: the interview that was really funny and I'm glad I

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Speaker 1: get to talk about it now when I'm really excited

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Speaker 1: about it, as opposed tomorrow morning, when I'm you know,

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Speaker 1: maybe not as So this is the benefit of it.

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Speaker 1: You get a fresh Conan recap Um. Yeah, yeah, that's it.

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Speaker 1: That's the best show we're ever gonna do. But it

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Speaker 1: was just like I always get nervous for Conan. I

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Speaker 1: said that at the beginning. He's an intense person. He's

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Speaker 1: so smart. I want to make him laugh. I also

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Speaker 1: want to make him. I just want him to like me.

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Speaker 1: But he was talking about know what we were talking about,

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Speaker 1: you know what I'm looking for in a man, and uh,

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Speaker 1: you know how I love a sense of like I want.

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Speaker 1: We're talking about guys being funny and complimenting celebrities, and

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Speaker 1: I was like, you know, Conan, you're the funniest person

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Speaker 1: a lot like I go, you're like the funniest pert someone.

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Speaker 1: I go, not even like you are, because that is

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Speaker 1: how I feel. And I really do feel like I've

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Speaker 1: met most people that are qualified to have that title,

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Speaker 1: and he's the number one in my opinion. And it's

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Speaker 1: not even really um subjective at this point. So I

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Speaker 1: told and I'm like, you're so funny. He goes, this

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Speaker 1: is the thing, beautiful girls always say you're so funny,

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Speaker 1: You're so funny, You're the funniest person. But girl, beautiful

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Speaker 1: women do not want to have sex with some with

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Speaker 1: with Conan O'Brien, that is, no woman has ever. They

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Speaker 1: don't want to hold your hand. And I go, Conan,

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Speaker 1: I'm just gonna calmly stop you. I think I said

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Speaker 1: something like, I go, I go, I told you already

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Speaker 1: I feel about you. That was like minutes before I

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Speaker 1: go as someone who values you for your humor and

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Speaker 1: who loves you comedically more than anyone. I just I'm

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Speaker 1: not trying to be weird, but I just want to

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Speaker 1: say that the other day, my co host Andrew asked

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Speaker 1: me what might we were doing our whole past. I'm

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Speaker 1: not even a relationship, and we was making the hall

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Speaker 1: best and it was you and um Dave Matthews, and

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Speaker 1: I just felt like he should know that I wasn't

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Speaker 1: trying to come on to him. It was like it

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Speaker 1: was done. I'm sure people are gonna be like that

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Speaker 1: was disgusting. She was flirting with him and not was

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Speaker 1: not my goal. And I go, listen, I know that

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Speaker 1: he said something about his wife, and I go, I

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Speaker 1: hope or I didn't. I go, I know all about

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Speaker 1: your wife. I know how you guys met. I'm I'm

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Speaker 1: always looking at pictures of her, being like, how can

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Speaker 1: I be more like her and attract someone? Like it

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Speaker 1: was like flattering, but it's true. I was just being

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Speaker 1: honest and it was just so nice because I got

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Speaker 1: to say something that was spontaneous that I didn't plan

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Speaker 1: on sharing that way. He was my whole past. I

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Speaker 1: didn't even know when we had the whole best discussion,

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Speaker 1: I was like, who the funk am I going to say?

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Speaker 1: And I was like, I know, it's save Matthews, and

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Speaker 1: I go, I think Conan to be honest, because, like

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Speaker 1: I that's what I wanted, someone that's successful and funny.

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Speaker 1: But I bet that he is like an emotional person.

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Speaker 1: I would hope he is. And then I also talked

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Speaker 1: about wanting guys to be emotional. But then at the

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Speaker 1: end we wrapped it all up and we're done, and

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Speaker 1: Andrew was I go, I said something about you. I go.

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Speaker 1: My friend was picking up my Oh yeah, and Sonna

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Speaker 1: Sona who we've had on our series show Noah's Better. Um,

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Speaker 1: I love her so much, and she came in. She's

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Speaker 1: his co host on Conan Needs a Friend, his podcast,

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Speaker 1: which is the greatest podcast. And I'm not I'm including

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Speaker 1: my own, just because they they've been doing it longer.

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Speaker 1: But um, I said that we had been watching a

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Speaker 1: lot of clips of Sona and him to work on

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Speaker 1: our dynamic because there's just so fun but kind of

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Speaker 1: the same roles. And I said that, you know Andrew

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Speaker 1: said earlier to Sona before you got here, that I

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Speaker 1: said to Conan that, uh, you know, he's standing up

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Speaker 1: for himself or no, Sona is pregnant. I go, Sona

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Speaker 1: is pregnant, and I go, actually, I have my my

425
00:21:03,240 --> 00:21:05,720
Speaker 1: cost is just like my Sona. I moved the camera

426
00:21:05,920 --> 00:21:08,359
Speaker 1: and Andrew is sticking out his stomach like he's pregn

427
00:21:08,480 --> 00:21:12,840
Speaker 1: up in the background. It's so funny. It was so funny, dude,

428
00:21:13,200 --> 00:21:15,800
Speaker 1: Conan fucking loved it. I loved the delay from when

429
00:21:15,840 --> 00:21:17,520
Speaker 1: he was like, oh, that's her friend, I'm gonna meet

430
00:21:17,560 --> 00:21:20,320
Speaker 1: this guy to being like like laughing hysterically, like you

431
00:21:20,440 --> 00:21:24,040
Speaker 1: got Conan to legit laugh in like not a just

432
00:21:24,359 --> 00:21:26,560
Speaker 1: I'm being nice way, which is always the best laugh.

433
00:21:27,000 --> 00:21:29,840
Speaker 1: And then did you laugh anything else? He said no,

434
00:21:30,080 --> 00:21:32,320
Speaker 1: he didn't, So moving on no he no, no, no,

435
00:21:32,520 --> 00:21:36,159
Speaker 1: there was no no. You said my name on the

436
00:21:36,280 --> 00:21:39,560
Speaker 1: Conan O'Brien show, And so it's my first late night

437
00:21:39,640 --> 00:21:41,600
Speaker 1: of appearance and I just want to say thanks my mom.

438
00:21:41,640 --> 00:21:44,359
Speaker 1: I want to thank some people right now. We actually

439
00:21:44,359 --> 00:21:45,600
Speaker 1: got to get to the dude, and I just think,

440
00:21:45,680 --> 00:21:48,119
Speaker 1: like three, you can tell everyone you hope you were

441
00:21:48,160 --> 00:21:49,440
Speaker 1: having a good time, but that's all you can do.

442
00:21:49,520 --> 00:21:51,440
Speaker 1: And we're about to get to the news but not everybody.

443
00:21:51,560 --> 00:21:53,640
Speaker 1: Do you think that do you think this will get

444
00:21:53,720 --> 00:21:57,680
Speaker 1: Andrew verified on Instagram? I don't know that it is.

445
00:21:58,560 --> 00:22:00,600
Speaker 1: I was almost going to mention that, like, can't like

446
00:22:01,000 --> 00:22:03,040
Speaker 1: make a leave, but I just didn't have time. And

447
00:22:03,119 --> 00:22:05,720
Speaker 1: also I didn't really think that, but um no, I

448
00:22:05,840 --> 00:22:07,520
Speaker 1: really did. I want to do something. I just want

449
00:22:07,560 --> 00:22:10,440
Speaker 1: to thank my dad. He always believed that me no

450
00:22:10,520 --> 00:22:12,879
Speaker 1: matter how he definitely did it like that was not

451
00:22:13,080 --> 00:22:15,359
Speaker 1: a part of the story. Your dad now believes in

452
00:22:15,400 --> 00:22:17,840
Speaker 1: you and he loves this famous space, but um he's not.

453
00:22:18,720 --> 00:22:22,600
Speaker 1: And thank you did like my teacher, Mr Mr Omer, well,

454
00:22:22,960 --> 00:22:25,159
Speaker 1: Mr ohmeron if you're out there and still alive, and I,

455
00:22:26,480 --> 00:22:29,720
Speaker 1: oh Jesus Christ, Um, I'm sure it wasn't connected to

456
00:22:30,280 --> 00:22:33,320
Speaker 1: trying to teach you at all, because that's not difficult. Um,

457
00:22:33,520 --> 00:22:37,560
Speaker 1: let's get to the news. What Oh no, no, definitely

458
00:22:37,640 --> 00:22:41,359
Speaker 1: keep it in. Sorry, Mr Omern. I've been depressed and

459
00:22:41,440 --> 00:22:43,480
Speaker 1: wanted to kill myself before, so I don't judge anyone

460
00:22:43,520 --> 00:22:45,320
Speaker 1: who has done it, and I'm just very sad for

461
00:22:45,320 --> 00:22:47,960
Speaker 1: anyone who's lost anyone to suicide. There's always someone you

462
00:22:48,000 --> 00:22:49,840
Speaker 1: can call. There is a number you can call. I

463
00:22:49,880 --> 00:22:51,200
Speaker 1: don't know what it is, but if that name of

464
00:22:51,240 --> 00:22:54,120
Speaker 1: that also that song I don't want to dad day,

465
00:22:54,800 --> 00:22:57,760
Speaker 1: the name of that song is the number to call

466
00:22:57,840 --> 00:22:59,840
Speaker 1: a suicide hotline if you need it and um and

467
00:23:00,000 --> 00:23:02,680
Speaker 1: ask for help. Okay, so let's get to the news.

468
00:23:03,200 --> 00:23:08,159
Speaker 1: You heard your first You heard it here first? I

469
00:23:08,320 --> 00:23:11,960
Speaker 1: love that voice over so much. My sister London. Well,

470
00:23:12,560 --> 00:23:14,720
Speaker 1: are you guys ready? Shout out to my sister. Shout

471
00:23:14,760 --> 00:23:16,760
Speaker 1: out to your sister. She said, I love the part

472
00:23:16,800 --> 00:23:18,240
Speaker 1: where he goes you heard it here, I heard it,

473
00:23:18,320 --> 00:23:24,600
Speaker 1: heard your first fish. It's fun. Lauren, straight up coolest

474
00:23:24,640 --> 00:23:27,480
Speaker 1: glazer by far with brown hair. He was Nicki's sister.

475
00:23:27,920 --> 00:23:30,080
Speaker 1: You or this ship? All right? Well the brown hair part,

476
00:23:30,119 --> 00:23:32,200
Speaker 1: it's technically I probably have brown hair at this point,

477
00:23:32,240 --> 00:23:35,320
Speaker 1: so you weren't really there we go? Are you ready?

478
00:23:35,320 --> 00:23:37,760
Speaker 1: You guys having fun out there? I hope so because

479
00:23:38,040 --> 00:23:42,359
Speaker 1: it's swells here we go. Bad sleep habits complicate a

480
00:23:42,520 --> 00:23:45,320
Speaker 1: d h D, which means NICKI both have actually have

481
00:23:45,400 --> 00:23:47,480
Speaker 1: a d D. I was never diagnosed with a d

482
00:23:47,680 --> 00:23:50,160
Speaker 1: h D because I was diagnosed at a young age,

483
00:23:50,240 --> 00:23:52,360
Speaker 1: round ten. And I wouldn't even take the drug. I'd

484
00:23:52,400 --> 00:23:54,120
Speaker 1: keep in my front pocket. I give it the girls

485
00:23:54,119 --> 00:23:55,479
Speaker 1: so they would make out with me. But they never

486
00:23:55,560 --> 00:23:58,159
Speaker 1: made out with me, but they would change me coat

487
00:23:58,200 --> 00:23:59,399
Speaker 1: a d D and I would. They would change me

488
00:23:59,440 --> 00:24:01,240
Speaker 1: around the school and then eventually they got addicted to

489
00:24:01,320 --> 00:24:04,200
Speaker 1: cocaine and now they're on marl. Yeah. They would chase

490
00:24:04,280 --> 00:24:08,960
Speaker 1: me around from old this ended up like this was

491
00:24:10,040 --> 00:24:12,119
Speaker 1: yeah by high school, by like freshman software year, they

492
00:24:12,160 --> 00:24:14,359
Speaker 1: were chasing me around from he was Yeah, he was

493
00:24:14,400 --> 00:24:15,960
Speaker 1: a coach on the cross country team. They just had

494
00:24:16,040 --> 00:24:18,399
Speaker 1: him run in front of the girls who wanted to

495
00:24:18,440 --> 00:24:21,240
Speaker 1: say skinny and they follow They only got to have

496
00:24:21,600 --> 00:24:23,920
Speaker 1: because your boy got tired. No, a d D meds

497
00:24:23,960 --> 00:24:28,320
Speaker 1: have saved my life and like are very helpful to me.

498
00:24:28,560 --> 00:24:32,040
Speaker 1: But I am realizing that I it's just so interesting

499
00:24:32,080 --> 00:24:33,920
Speaker 1: to read about being a woman with a d D

500
00:24:34,119 --> 00:24:36,760
Speaker 1: and how it manifests itself and how I'm not like

501
00:24:37,000 --> 00:24:38,840
Speaker 1: flawed because of it. It's just the way my brain

502
00:24:39,000 --> 00:24:41,560
Speaker 1: is like to not be like beating myself up about

503
00:24:41,600 --> 00:24:45,720
Speaker 1: being messy or being disorganized or being forgetful. Like I'm

504
00:24:45,720 --> 00:24:50,160
Speaker 1: not stupid, I'm not dirty, I'm not like um thoughtless.

505
00:24:51,000 --> 00:24:53,000
Speaker 1: I just have a brain that has a weird thing

506
00:24:53,080 --> 00:24:56,040
Speaker 1: going on, and I'm trying my fucking best. And it

507
00:24:56,119 --> 00:24:58,320
Speaker 1: sounds like I can try better by getting more slate

508
00:24:58,480 --> 00:25:00,520
Speaker 1: based on the study. Well, yeah, and if you have

509
00:25:00,840 --> 00:25:04,840
Speaker 1: a pre bedtime routine, they say a bedtime routine, go

510
00:25:05,000 --> 00:25:07,520
Speaker 1: only go in your bed when you're sleeping. That's not

511
00:25:07,560 --> 00:25:09,879
Speaker 1: gonna happen for anyone. They always say that keep your

512
00:25:09,920 --> 00:25:12,840
Speaker 1: phone under your bed. Guys, when I want to get sleep,

513
00:25:13,119 --> 00:25:15,160
Speaker 1: my sleep tips and you know this, if you listen

514
00:25:15,200 --> 00:25:17,359
Speaker 1: to the show sleep Mask, find one that works for you.

515
00:25:17,440 --> 00:25:18,959
Speaker 1: They're so cheap you can try it a bunch. They

516
00:25:19,000 --> 00:25:21,560
Speaker 1: are on Amazon. Don't buy from Amazon apean bottles, but

517
00:25:22,359 --> 00:25:24,399
Speaker 1: a sleep mask you would even use a shirt. I

518
00:25:24,480 --> 00:25:26,199
Speaker 1: used my underwear the other night because I couldn't find

519
00:25:26,200 --> 00:25:28,280
Speaker 1: a sleep mass. I wrapped my underwear around my head

520
00:25:28,359 --> 00:25:32,600
Speaker 1: two nights in a row. Um and and it smelled great. Uh,

521
00:25:33,000 --> 00:25:34,680
Speaker 1: it didn't. I had to roll it around at the

522
00:25:34,720 --> 00:25:36,639
Speaker 1: backside because the front was out of the park. But anyway,

523
00:25:37,000 --> 00:25:38,920
Speaker 1: and also a white noise machine. I don't think anyone

524
00:25:39,000 --> 00:25:43,160
Speaker 1: realizes how much light and sound affect your quality of sleep.

525
00:25:43,280 --> 00:25:45,000
Speaker 1: So please try to make the room as dark as

526
00:25:45,080 --> 00:25:47,800
Speaker 1: possible for yourself with a sleep mask if you can't,

527
00:25:47,880 --> 00:25:50,440
Speaker 1: and then make sure to do to use white noise.

528
00:25:50,520 --> 00:25:55,600
Speaker 1: And I would recommend youtubing first class plane noise. It's

529
00:25:55,600 --> 00:25:57,199
Speaker 1: a really good one and it goes for like ten

530
00:25:57,240 --> 00:25:59,640
Speaker 1: hours and it's free. I've never heard that one, yeah,

531
00:26:00,000 --> 00:26:01,920
Speaker 1: even in real life because you've never been in first

532
00:26:01,960 --> 00:26:05,000
Speaker 1: class before. When you hear it, you go, what is this?

533
00:26:05,560 --> 00:26:07,840
Speaker 1: You want to get the middle the middle seed in

534
00:26:07,880 --> 00:26:12,280
Speaker 1: the bathroom? Yeah, you know what the cargoes sounds like. Yeah,

535
00:26:12,640 --> 00:26:17,720
Speaker 1: the rumbling of new trendy away luggage. You're the only

536
00:26:17,840 --> 00:26:20,239
Speaker 1: person that pays thirty five dollars to find out how

537
00:26:20,359 --> 00:26:21,879
Speaker 1: heavy the people are they're going to sit on the

538
00:26:21,920 --> 00:26:25,080
Speaker 1: side of me. Yes, I do. I pay extra. I

539
00:26:25,200 --> 00:26:30,680
Speaker 1: find a disspirit Airlines and while I fly Andrew on

540
00:26:30,760 --> 00:26:33,520
Speaker 1: that and I make sure that, yeah, the people are

541
00:26:33,960 --> 00:26:35,800
Speaker 1: first of all, I'm a big advocate of sitting next

542
00:26:35,840 --> 00:26:43,399
Speaker 1: to fat people on planes. Well, and I get it,

543
00:26:43,520 --> 00:26:45,679
Speaker 1: you probably want more room on a plane. Everyone scramped.

544
00:26:45,720 --> 00:26:48,720
Speaker 1: But I will repeat myself time time again on the show.

545
00:26:48,760 --> 00:26:50,600
Speaker 1: If you're someone that you're on a plane and a

546
00:26:50,640 --> 00:26:53,200
Speaker 1: fat person sit sounds next to you and you make

547
00:26:53,400 --> 00:26:57,160
Speaker 1: any fucking noise or roll your eyes or sign under

548
00:26:57,160 --> 00:26:59,639
Speaker 1: your breath, you can unsubscribe from the show right now

549
00:26:59,680 --> 00:27:03,200
Speaker 1: because or a piece of shit. Final final answer, But

550
00:27:03,280 --> 00:27:05,960
Speaker 1: you can subscribe to my podcast. He'll still have you,

551
00:27:06,119 --> 00:27:09,119
Speaker 1: You'll still have anyone. Really um also with a d D.

552
00:27:10,080 --> 00:27:12,520
Speaker 1: I had a moment in like my like late twenties

553
00:27:12,680 --> 00:27:16,159
Speaker 1: because I obviously wasn't succeeding in my adulthood. I was

554
00:27:16,880 --> 00:27:19,280
Speaker 1: in a ton of debt. I lost everything. I lost

555
00:27:19,320 --> 00:27:22,760
Speaker 1: my car, my house, everything, and I still haven't really

556
00:27:22,800 --> 00:27:25,680
Speaker 1: got it back. But I did finally meet with a

557
00:27:25,800 --> 00:27:30,040
Speaker 1: therapist who gave me a book about like different jobs

558
00:27:30,240 --> 00:27:32,680
Speaker 1: that are good for a D like because we grew

559
00:27:32,800 --> 00:27:35,840
Speaker 1: up it was a negative and so like there are

560
00:27:36,040 --> 00:27:38,200
Speaker 1: different jobs where like if you have a d D

561
00:27:38,400 --> 00:27:40,480
Speaker 1: or a d h D, it's like fantastic, like say, yeah,

562
00:27:40,480 --> 00:27:42,760
Speaker 1: there are things that we are good at. We are

563
00:27:42,800 --> 00:27:44,719
Speaker 1: comedians because we have a d D. But but if

564
00:27:44,720 --> 00:27:46,240
Speaker 1: you're in the school system and you have to sit

565
00:27:46,280 --> 00:27:48,760
Speaker 1: in a fucking chair for an hour and you're shaking

566
00:27:48,800 --> 00:27:52,600
Speaker 1: your legs and you can't. Stein's story on Hysterical the

567
00:27:52,680 --> 00:27:55,920
Speaker 1: documentary is just that she was like I was a

568
00:27:56,760 --> 00:27:58,800
Speaker 1: she described it now. She was like I was a

569
00:27:59,720 --> 00:28:05,720
Speaker 1: uh an education emergency, like I was a code blue,

570
00:28:06,359 --> 00:28:10,160
Speaker 1: like code red, code blue, code red, like everyone all

571
00:28:10,320 --> 00:28:12,720
Speaker 1: all hands on deck. How do we stuff knowledge in

572
00:28:12,720 --> 00:28:14,840
Speaker 1: this girl's brain because she cannot do it. She can't learn.

573
00:28:14,920 --> 00:28:17,359
Speaker 1: She's a terrible student. And Richel Binstein one of the

574
00:28:17,400 --> 00:28:20,359
Speaker 1: smartest people I've ever met. And I'm not saying that, um,

575
00:28:20,600 --> 00:28:23,960
Speaker 1: you know, just to exaggerate. It really is true. Yeah,

576
00:28:24,000 --> 00:28:26,600
Speaker 1: And I think, like, I don't know, I just feel

577
00:28:26,680 --> 00:28:29,880
Speaker 1: like we try to drug kids to make them feel

578
00:28:29,880 --> 00:28:32,440
Speaker 1: like they have to be like this, And exactly I

579
00:28:32,480 --> 00:28:34,480
Speaker 1: would have liked a d D meds earlier in my life.

580
00:28:34,480 --> 00:28:38,320
Speaker 1: I must say, well, me as I'm biting off my fingers, Yeah,

581
00:28:38,480 --> 00:28:41,360
Speaker 1: I'm biting off one of my guitarcalysis, so it doesn't count,

582
00:28:41,440 --> 00:28:43,200
Speaker 1: but it also does. But look at that hanging piece.

583
00:28:43,240 --> 00:28:44,560
Speaker 1: Would you get that if you if I were you,

584
00:28:45,800 --> 00:28:50,000
Speaker 1: would you want that no, look at that skin. Look

585
00:28:50,040 --> 00:28:51,960
Speaker 1: at that one on my finger. They're like that skin

586
00:28:52,080 --> 00:28:55,520
Speaker 1: looks real good. Right, Okay, next story. I kind of

587
00:28:55,520 --> 00:28:58,560
Speaker 1: want to go to this one. The first one. Good

588
00:28:58,640 --> 00:29:02,000
Speaker 1: sex doesn't have to be on sex as a sexologist.

589
00:29:03,840 --> 00:29:06,080
Speaker 1: Study in the Journal of Sexual Medicine found that it

590
00:29:06,160 --> 00:29:09,040
Speaker 1: takes fourteen minutes for women in a partnership the orgasm

591
00:29:09,200 --> 00:29:12,480
Speaker 1: during penetrative sex. Fourteen minutes for women to calm during

592
00:29:12,520 --> 00:29:15,200
Speaker 1: penetrative sex if there's nothing else going on with clip stuff,

593
00:29:15,240 --> 00:29:19,040
Speaker 1: which included additional maneuvers and positions, compared to mail a jactulive,

594
00:29:19,120 --> 00:29:22,240
Speaker 1: which research has noted to be an average of five

595
00:29:22,320 --> 00:29:25,680
Speaker 1: to seven minutes. Five to seven and yeah, like women

596
00:29:25,720 --> 00:29:28,640
Speaker 1: are running the light constantly. That's comics joke for their

597
00:29:28,680 --> 00:29:31,360
Speaker 1: five minutes set, we just go on and on. I

598
00:29:31,440 --> 00:29:34,080
Speaker 1: think that's to Noah from if you were having sex,

599
00:29:34,120 --> 00:29:38,240
Speaker 1: penetrative sex from any position, but you weren't also accompanying

600
00:29:38,320 --> 00:29:40,200
Speaker 1: that with a toy on your clatrus, which is how

601
00:29:40,320 --> 00:29:41,960
Speaker 1: I like to have sex, and I can come in

602
00:29:42,120 --> 00:29:47,680
Speaker 1: probably five to seven seconds, and that's the toy. Oh yeah,

603
00:29:47,760 --> 00:29:51,800
Speaker 1: they yeah, yeah, it was a toy train set um.

604
00:29:52,560 --> 00:29:54,160
Speaker 1: I I saw the word train, and I thought it

605
00:29:54,200 --> 00:29:56,280
Speaker 1: was a sexual thing, but it was actually Thomas the

606
00:29:56,320 --> 00:29:58,000
Speaker 1: train engine that I shoved up my ass and it

607
00:29:58,080 --> 00:30:04,760
Speaker 1: feels good. Um, I'm starting to think of other train things,

608
00:30:04,800 --> 00:30:08,080
Speaker 1: but I hate trains and like train hobbyists like kind

609
00:30:08,080 --> 00:30:11,920
Speaker 1: of creeped me out. So I've purposely learned nothing but locomotion.

610
00:30:11,960 --> 00:30:14,040
Speaker 1: I don't like that little conductor had. It doesn't turn

611
00:30:14,080 --> 00:30:16,040
Speaker 1: you on. I mean, I like that people are passionate

612
00:30:16,080 --> 00:30:18,120
Speaker 1: about anything as much as they are about you know, trains,

613
00:30:18,120 --> 00:30:20,000
Speaker 1: But I just find it to be kind of maybe

614
00:30:20,080 --> 00:30:21,840
Speaker 1: a thing that maybe you're on the spectrum a little

615
00:30:21,840 --> 00:30:23,280
Speaker 1: bit if you like that, which is there's something wrong

616
00:30:23,320 --> 00:30:26,840
Speaker 1: with that. I'm on the spectrum, I think. Um, but okay,

617
00:30:26,920 --> 00:30:28,680
Speaker 1: the thing about slow sex, it doesn't it doesn't have

618
00:30:28,800 --> 00:30:30,720
Speaker 1: to be I oh no, what I want to saying.

619
00:30:30,720 --> 00:30:32,640
Speaker 1: If you're have impenetrative sex with no toy on your play,

620
00:30:33,680 --> 00:30:35,480
Speaker 1: do you think that it would take that long like

621
00:30:35,680 --> 00:30:39,920
Speaker 1: to come? Because I absolutely agree with that, do you

622
00:30:40,720 --> 00:30:43,080
Speaker 1: fourteen minutes? First of all, I just have to be

623
00:30:43,520 --> 00:30:45,760
Speaker 1: like fully in the zone. If I have any form

624
00:30:45,800 --> 00:30:48,560
Speaker 1: of distraction, then it's over. And I think you've mentioned

625
00:30:48,600 --> 00:30:51,040
Speaker 1: that last week on one of the shows. But if

626
00:30:51,080 --> 00:30:54,840
Speaker 1: I'm like totally into it, I think fifteen minutes is good,

627
00:30:54,880 --> 00:30:59,240
Speaker 1: like fifteen to twenty more than that. Say something that

628
00:30:59,360 --> 00:31:03,560
Speaker 1: I've figured out because I've just started exploring myself sexually again,

629
00:31:03,720 --> 00:31:06,320
Speaker 1: and I'm realizing, like I'm not trying to be horny

630
00:31:06,480 --> 00:31:09,000
Speaker 1: right now and be like I'm a sex comic or whatever.

631
00:31:09,040 --> 00:31:10,440
Speaker 1: I really am trying to help people because of what

632
00:31:10,520 --> 00:31:14,320
Speaker 1: I'm discovered, but something and maybe I want to I'm

633
00:31:14,320 --> 00:31:16,480
Speaker 1: so glad you're here, no, because you can speak to

634
00:31:16,600 --> 00:31:19,320
Speaker 1: this Like I haven't been having sex, but I'd like

635
00:31:19,880 --> 00:31:21,840
Speaker 1: I have gotten fingered a couple of times, you know,

636
00:31:22,160 --> 00:31:25,440
Speaker 1: and I feel like that and that's all I'm willing

637
00:31:25,560 --> 00:31:28,720
Speaker 1: to like really do for myself with someone else. And

638
00:31:28,920 --> 00:31:31,000
Speaker 1: that though sometimes I'm like, I'm not gonna come, it's

639
00:31:31,000 --> 00:31:32,560
Speaker 1: not gonna happen. There needs to be a toy or whatever.

640
00:31:33,000 --> 00:31:35,080
Speaker 1: But it's just like you have to just slow and

641
00:31:35,200 --> 00:31:37,640
Speaker 1: steady wins the race. I get so impatient with my

642
00:31:37,760 --> 00:31:39,240
Speaker 1: A D D brain and I think a lot of

643
00:31:39,280 --> 00:31:41,040
Speaker 1: guys do to where they're fingering you and you're like

644
00:31:41,400 --> 00:31:43,800
Speaker 1: making moaning sounds and then they go faster, like and

645
00:31:44,520 --> 00:31:46,040
Speaker 1: that's literally what I do. What I'm mess right, So

646
00:31:46,080 --> 00:31:47,640
Speaker 1: there's nothing wrong with that, and I think that's what

647
00:31:47,720 --> 00:31:49,480
Speaker 1: I want. But I think the thing to do is

648
00:31:49,600 --> 00:31:54,240
Speaker 1: keep it steady and consistent, and there might be you

649
00:31:54,320 --> 00:31:56,240
Speaker 1: might even feel at first as a woman, thank you

650
00:31:56,280 --> 00:31:57,920
Speaker 1: for nodding along. No, and I hope you're nodding in

651
00:31:57,960 --> 00:31:59,800
Speaker 1: your car, and if you're not, please correct me. But

652
00:32:00,800 --> 00:32:03,040
Speaker 1: just to help the men out and help other women

653
00:32:03,080 --> 00:32:05,960
Speaker 1: out understand themselves. I think a lot of times you

654
00:32:06,040 --> 00:32:07,800
Speaker 1: have a penis in you and you'll it'll be hitting

655
00:32:07,840 --> 00:32:10,760
Speaker 1: an angle and it just it's fine, but it's not

656
00:32:10,880 --> 00:32:14,960
Speaker 1: doing anything right. Give it two more minutes of that

657
00:32:15,240 --> 00:32:18,320
Speaker 1: same pressure in the same place, and I really think

658
00:32:18,560 --> 00:32:20,720
Speaker 1: that you could squirt from it, like it can go

659
00:32:20,960 --> 00:32:23,400
Speaker 1: from being like this feels like literally nothing and it's

660
00:32:23,440 --> 00:32:24,960
Speaker 1: he's hitting the wrong place. I'm not so only that

661
00:32:25,040 --> 00:32:26,840
Speaker 1: it hurts. It feels like like where you're like, this

662
00:32:26,920 --> 00:32:31,320
Speaker 1: isn't the best. Stay the course on that that place consistently,

663
00:32:31,800 --> 00:32:35,240
Speaker 1: and I think I don't know, but it's happened to

664
00:32:35,320 --> 00:32:37,200
Speaker 1: me before, and I'm not sure that this will always work.

665
00:32:37,240 --> 00:32:39,120
Speaker 1: But I think if you stay the course, it will

666
00:32:39,240 --> 00:32:43,080
Speaker 1: lead to amazing pleasure, which does take longer. So I

667
00:32:43,280 --> 00:32:45,920
Speaker 1: I this isn't really off the off the news story

668
00:32:46,000 --> 00:32:49,040
Speaker 1: of faster sex. But is this new story saying that

669
00:32:49,280 --> 00:32:51,960
Speaker 1: quickies can be great? I mean it doesn't say that.

670
00:32:52,120 --> 00:32:55,280
Speaker 1: But also if you own an oil field, same exact advice.

671
00:32:55,800 --> 00:32:59,360
Speaker 1: What do you mean, Stay consistent and keep tapping the

672
00:32:59,400 --> 00:33:03,800
Speaker 1: ground slow, don't over don't overfrack. You don't want to overfrack.

673
00:33:04,200 --> 00:33:07,040
Speaker 1: I used to compare guys fingering techniques to being like,

674
00:33:07,280 --> 00:33:12,240
Speaker 1: are you fracking me right now? What is it? I said?

675
00:33:12,320 --> 00:33:15,320
Speaker 1: I know it poisons our streams, tracking does, and and

676
00:33:15,480 --> 00:33:17,400
Speaker 1: mind is being I'm gonna wake up with the U

677
00:33:17,480 --> 00:33:20,080
Speaker 1: T I after the aggression that's happening from your hanging.

678
00:33:20,160 --> 00:33:22,600
Speaker 1: But also when I watched fingers, I watch a lot

679
00:33:22,640 --> 00:33:24,960
Speaker 1: of fingering porns, So I also have this perspective a

680
00:33:25,240 --> 00:33:28,760
Speaker 1: very um like when it gets after that ten minutes,

681
00:33:28,800 --> 00:33:30,920
Speaker 1: when starts feel really good, then you can speed it

682
00:33:31,000 --> 00:33:33,560
Speaker 1: up and then you can get then it's like water works.

683
00:33:33,720 --> 00:33:37,120
Speaker 1: What happened as a guy classic when when when they go,

684
00:33:37,840 --> 00:33:40,680
Speaker 1: you know, stay there, stay doing that, stay doing a

685
00:33:40,800 --> 00:33:43,280
Speaker 1: lot of the times that I find is a it's

686
00:33:43,280 --> 00:33:46,160
Speaker 1: either a position that is like it's hard to keep

687
00:33:46,240 --> 00:33:49,680
Speaker 1: the momentum going. Or my if I'm fingering a girl,

688
00:33:49,720 --> 00:33:52,160
Speaker 1: a lot of times it's like my hand will be

689
00:33:52,200 --> 00:33:55,160
Speaker 1: in a way where I'm cramping, where like I have

690
00:33:55,320 --> 00:33:58,680
Speaker 1: to like keep going, but I'm cramping at the same time.

691
00:33:58,800 --> 00:34:02,040
Speaker 1: You need to just set up beforehand. Is very important, right,

692
00:34:02,080 --> 00:34:03,960
Speaker 1: But sometimes you don't know what feels good until it happens,

693
00:34:03,960 --> 00:34:05,320
Speaker 1: and it's like a weird thing where you're like, no,

694
00:34:05,400 --> 00:34:07,479
Speaker 1: I was shifting and now I have to hold myself

695
00:34:07,520 --> 00:34:09,719
Speaker 1: in the air while I was moving this folder off

696
00:34:09,800 --> 00:34:12,200
Speaker 1: my like off the bed. It's like, yeah, I like

697
00:34:12,280 --> 00:34:13,880
Speaker 1: when you hold a folder, it reminds me that you

698
00:34:14,000 --> 00:34:17,319
Speaker 1: might be making money and like being organized. Um, but yeah,

699
00:34:17,360 --> 00:34:20,800
Speaker 1: it's very complex and I'm very interested in Thank you

700
00:34:20,920 --> 00:34:23,600
Speaker 1: Noah for like confirming that a little bit. But like,

701
00:34:23,800 --> 00:34:26,160
Speaker 1: is that interesting to you to hear that experience? Oh? Yeah,

702
00:34:26,200 --> 00:34:29,000
Speaker 1: of course. But what my point being is that, like, so,

703
00:34:29,320 --> 00:34:31,520
Speaker 1: you know, we set up the we have a little

704
00:34:31,600 --> 00:34:35,400
Speaker 1: pillow that we used. Yeah, you're making it sound like

705
00:34:36,560 --> 00:34:41,320
Speaker 1: when you say we sound or us. Yeah, they're like

706
00:34:41,360 --> 00:34:44,000
Speaker 1: all of us, me and the boys, we all have

707
00:34:44,160 --> 00:34:47,200
Speaker 1: a pillow that we we don't know who we is. Okay, Okay,

708
00:34:47,280 --> 00:34:50,360
Speaker 1: this girl that I'm Yeah, you're bestie. You know that

709
00:34:50,520 --> 00:34:53,320
Speaker 1: Andrew is seeing a girl in St. Louis. They're they're talking,

710
00:34:53,480 --> 00:34:55,440
Speaker 1: which is just the weirdest way to say hooking up,

711
00:34:55,480 --> 00:34:58,360
Speaker 1: and like, yeah, maybe exclusively, but we don't really know.

712
00:34:58,560 --> 00:35:00,040
Speaker 1: It's not that I haven't had that talk yet. You know,

713
00:35:00,320 --> 00:35:03,880
Speaker 1: there are two months into dating. Long story short, just

714
00:35:04,960 --> 00:35:08,400
Speaker 1: get ahead of it before and prepare six ps. Prepare

715
00:35:09,040 --> 00:35:17,320
Speaker 1: please person and hunt that. No, but just put a

716
00:35:17,400 --> 00:35:19,560
Speaker 1: pillow there, or just get ready because you're hands gonna

717
00:35:19,640 --> 00:35:22,680
Speaker 1: cramp if it's not, just prepare before you and I

718
00:35:22,680 --> 00:35:25,239
Speaker 1: don't think about people. Do that. Okay, Well, this has

719
00:35:25,280 --> 00:35:28,319
Speaker 1: already been a very corny news segment. We have one

720
00:35:28,440 --> 00:35:31,400
Speaker 1: more segment to go. Let's get to it. Why do

721
00:35:31,520 --> 00:35:34,400
Speaker 1: I care? This is our celebrity news segment, trying to

722
00:35:35,160 --> 00:35:41,240
Speaker 1: squeeze some meaning out of these meaningless show biz uh stories.

723
00:35:41,600 --> 00:35:44,239
Speaker 1: Why do I care? Andrew? Why do I care about

724
00:35:44,280 --> 00:35:45,799
Speaker 1: what you're about to say? I don't know. I hope

725
00:35:45,800 --> 00:35:47,480
Speaker 1: you do, and I hope people are still having fun.

726
00:35:47,600 --> 00:35:50,960
Speaker 1: That's what I want. Okay. What is Paltrow? We all

727
00:35:51,040 --> 00:35:55,839
Speaker 1: know her actress sends Demilovado a candle smelling of her

728
00:35:55,920 --> 00:35:58,600
Speaker 1: own orgasm. I do think I'm gonna be friends with

729
00:35:59,080 --> 00:36:01,200
Speaker 1: someday like that in my future. It's not like a

730
00:36:01,280 --> 00:36:03,880
Speaker 1: goal of mine, but I'm I'm changing my tone with

731
00:36:04,080 --> 00:36:06,320
Speaker 1: people now because I could be friends with them, and

732
00:36:06,400 --> 00:36:08,320
Speaker 1: I actually like one of them. I think she's probably coolest.

733
00:36:08,480 --> 00:36:11,280
Speaker 1: I've actually heard some stories about her that make me go, WHOA,

734
00:36:11,520 --> 00:36:17,399
Speaker 1: She's way cooler than I thought, like awesome from my brother. Yes,

735
00:36:18,239 --> 00:36:20,360
Speaker 1: I would call her house well from the outside, it

736
00:36:20,440 --> 00:36:22,600
Speaker 1: was kind of weird. I like how sexually open she is.

737
00:36:22,719 --> 00:36:24,640
Speaker 1: And this this whole vagina candle. Think. Okay, so she

738
00:36:24,719 --> 00:36:28,320
Speaker 1: sent Demi Levado a care package, Yes, and the vagina

739
00:36:28,560 --> 00:36:32,080
Speaker 1: apparently both We don't know. Okay, it's we don't know.

740
00:36:32,239 --> 00:36:35,800
Speaker 1: But Demi Levado she sent her lube, sex toys and

741
00:36:35,960 --> 00:36:39,520
Speaker 1: room spray. The wellness box had that this smells like

742
00:36:39,680 --> 00:36:43,200
Speaker 1: Demi's orgasm candle. This smells like Demi's orgasm candle. We

743
00:36:43,239 --> 00:36:45,239
Speaker 1: don't know what it smelled like. And I'll let me

744
00:36:45,320 --> 00:36:48,600
Speaker 1: just tell you these are all marketing ploys. Gwyneth, I

745
00:36:48,719 --> 00:36:50,879
Speaker 1: love you. I actually I don't know you. You seem

746
00:36:50,920 --> 00:36:52,880
Speaker 1: like a good person, you seem cool. You did not

747
00:36:52,960 --> 00:36:55,279
Speaker 1: send Demi Lavado this care package because you actually care

748
00:36:55,320 --> 00:36:56,960
Speaker 1: about her. It was so that she would post on

749
00:36:57,000 --> 00:36:59,200
Speaker 1: our Instagram story and podcast like mine would pick it

750
00:36:59,280 --> 00:37:00,880
Speaker 1: up and talk about it. Then maybe girls would go

751
00:37:00,920 --> 00:37:03,040
Speaker 1: out and buy Goop things, even though I would really

752
00:37:03,080 --> 00:37:06,600
Speaker 1: recommend the ordinary skin caroline of serums, which is all

753
00:37:06,680 --> 00:37:08,880
Speaker 1: I use, and they're literally like eight dollars as opposed

754
00:37:08,880 --> 00:37:11,719
Speaker 1: to eighty dollars for things the ordinary girls don't get

755
00:37:11,719 --> 00:37:14,560
Speaker 1: it on Amazon. They might be knockoffs, but this is

756
00:37:14,560 --> 00:37:17,000
Speaker 1: all to sell Goop. I mean, this isn't And then

757
00:37:17,080 --> 00:37:20,279
Speaker 1: the vagina, the candle smelling like vagina. What doesn't matter

758
00:37:20,320 --> 00:37:23,480
Speaker 1: what smells like. It's all just novelty. It's like penis straws,

759
00:37:23,560 --> 00:37:26,480
Speaker 1: you know, like can you believe this? And like can

760
00:37:26,480 --> 00:37:29,120
Speaker 1: you imagine a turtle dying from a penis straw? How

761
00:37:29,160 --> 00:37:31,080
Speaker 1: would you feel that if a guy was like, hey,

762
00:37:31,200 --> 00:37:33,960
Speaker 1: let's put on some very white and let me light

763
00:37:34,080 --> 00:37:37,520
Speaker 1: this pussy candle that smells like pussy. I would be

764
00:37:37,600 --> 00:37:40,120
Speaker 1: mad that he spent so much on a candle. I

765
00:37:40,160 --> 00:37:42,440
Speaker 1: would be like, you're not good with money. But if

766
00:37:42,480 --> 00:37:43,719
Speaker 1: he was like I got it as a gift, or

767
00:37:43,800 --> 00:37:45,520
Speaker 1: if he was so rich that didn't matter. I'd be like,

768
00:37:45,560 --> 00:37:46,919
Speaker 1: oh man, I always want to smell this. I would

769
00:37:46,920 --> 00:37:48,680
Speaker 1: be kind of flattered. Well, my last girlfriend, I held

770
00:37:48,760 --> 00:37:50,359
Speaker 1: it under her ass while I would eat her out.

771
00:37:52,080 --> 00:37:56,240
Speaker 1: Just yeah, she was cool with it. The burns thought

772
00:37:57,360 --> 00:38:01,440
Speaker 1: her her singe butter hole hair from the candle that

773
00:38:01,560 --> 00:38:08,880
Speaker 1: also burn her. Uh there was Check out the podcast poog,

774
00:38:09,080 --> 00:38:11,640
Speaker 1: which is goop spelled backwards and it's Cape ber Land

775
00:38:11,680 --> 00:38:14,040
Speaker 1: and jack Land Novak's podcast. This isn't an ad, but

776
00:38:14,120 --> 00:38:16,200
Speaker 1: it's like they are on Big Money Players, which is

777
00:38:16,200 --> 00:38:21,080
Speaker 1: our same podcast network, and their podcast is phenomenal and um,

778
00:38:21,160 --> 00:38:23,600
Speaker 1: and they're both the funniest two of the funniest women

779
00:38:23,640 --> 00:38:26,120
Speaker 1: ever so added to your rosser poug p o o G.

780
00:38:26,560 --> 00:38:29,560
Speaker 1: And they make fun of like all this self care stuff. Okay, um,

781
00:38:29,600 --> 00:38:31,359
Speaker 1: why do I care about that? Because it just makes

782
00:38:31,400 --> 00:38:34,520
Speaker 1: me more aware that everything celebrities do is marketing and

783
00:38:34,840 --> 00:38:39,080
Speaker 1: in Yeah, I love that you gave a promotion, Like,

784
00:38:39,160 --> 00:38:41,000
Speaker 1: gave a promotion to two girls who are my friends

785
00:38:41,000 --> 00:38:42,640
Speaker 1: and who are good people. I would never do that

786
00:38:42,800 --> 00:38:44,960
Speaker 1: just because they are on the same podcast network. But

787
00:38:45,000 --> 00:38:46,360
Speaker 1: that didn't have anything to do with it. Yes, it

788
00:38:46,440 --> 00:38:50,919
Speaker 1: kind of did. But if those girls were not nice

789
00:38:51,000 --> 00:38:54,239
Speaker 1: girls that I like. I wouldn't have said anything, but yes,

790
00:38:54,480 --> 00:38:57,120
Speaker 1: I maybe said it quicker because they're with big money players.

791
00:38:57,280 --> 00:38:59,000
Speaker 1: But I'm just proud to be in a podcast network

792
00:38:59,239 --> 00:39:01,200
Speaker 1: that has the best podcast So check out all the

793
00:39:01,239 --> 00:39:04,279
Speaker 1: big money players podcasts because we're on a very short

794
00:39:04,360 --> 00:39:08,520
Speaker 1: list of great podcasts that Will Ferrell approved himself. And

795
00:39:09,239 --> 00:39:12,400
Speaker 1: let's get to it. It's time for our tried and

796
00:39:12,440 --> 00:39:14,200
Speaker 1: true segment. You've heard it before. It's time for a

797
00:39:14,280 --> 00:39:16,600
Speaker 1: top two bottom two. This is where we take a

798
00:39:16,680 --> 00:39:19,760
Speaker 1: category and we go around the horn. Noah, Me and Andrew.

799
00:39:19,840 --> 00:39:23,000
Speaker 1: All lists are top two things of this category and

800
00:39:23,120 --> 00:39:26,239
Speaker 1: top and bottom two things of this category. We'll start

801
00:39:26,280 --> 00:39:28,400
Speaker 1: with the bottoms and the category this week is Noah,

802
00:39:29,000 --> 00:39:31,960
Speaker 1: times You've gone out of your comfort zone? Top two,

803
00:39:32,000 --> 00:39:35,320
Speaker 1: bottom two Times You've gone out of your comfort zone. Noah,

804
00:39:35,480 --> 00:39:39,240
Speaker 1: let's start with you. What's one of your bottom times? Okay?

805
00:39:39,880 --> 00:39:44,359
Speaker 1: Bottom time is uh, don't you just do one? I'm

806
00:39:44,480 --> 00:39:47,440
Speaker 1: changing top two bottom two to top one bottom one. Okay,

807
00:39:47,640 --> 00:39:49,759
Speaker 1: I'm doing it on the show right now live. That's

808
00:39:49,760 --> 00:39:52,120
Speaker 1: how producing works. You can take it out later, but

809
00:39:52,160 --> 00:39:54,320
Speaker 1: I want I want people to hear my process. We

810
00:39:54,400 --> 00:39:58,840
Speaker 1: don't need to an extra That's fine, but not required.

811
00:39:59,000 --> 00:40:00,560
Speaker 1: It's all this is also so the fact that I

812
00:40:00,600 --> 00:40:04,600
Speaker 1: don't have my finger out yet. Also, I love top

813
00:40:04,640 --> 00:40:06,799
Speaker 1: one bottom one. It's so no one ever just goes

814
00:40:06,960 --> 00:40:10,120
Speaker 1: what's your number one? Boom? Yeah, I mean it's worse

815
00:40:10,160 --> 00:40:11,920
Speaker 1: than least, but top to top one bottom one was

816
00:40:11,960 --> 00:40:15,279
Speaker 1: a funny thing to say, so no, bottom one of

817
00:40:16,200 --> 00:40:18,080
Speaker 1: the thing way more pressure. Times you went out of

818
00:40:18,120 --> 00:40:20,560
Speaker 1: your comfort zone. Okay, A time that I went out

819
00:40:20,560 --> 00:40:23,480
Speaker 1: of my comfort zone that was a bottom was when

820
00:40:23,520 --> 00:40:28,520
Speaker 1: I uh was trying snowboarding and I was, um, I

821
00:40:28,640 --> 00:40:31,120
Speaker 1: tried like a more advanced trail of blue trail. So

822
00:40:31,280 --> 00:40:34,400
Speaker 1: once I got off the lift, I felt so scared

823
00:40:34,880 --> 00:40:37,840
Speaker 1: and I just started crying and then my eyes froze

824
00:40:37,840 --> 00:40:41,719
Speaker 1: shut and it was just terrible. God, I remember when

825
00:40:41,760 --> 00:40:43,920
Speaker 1: you went snowboarding this since i've known you, No, no,

826
00:40:44,200 --> 00:40:47,320
Speaker 1: this was when I was much younger. Like that. That

827
00:40:47,680 --> 00:40:49,839
Speaker 1: first time to graduate from a green to a blue

828
00:40:50,000 --> 00:40:52,480
Speaker 1: if you're skier is a very scary time. You know

829
00:40:52,480 --> 00:40:54,360
Speaker 1: about twelve falls. That's when I nicknamed him when we

830
00:40:54,360 --> 00:40:55,919
Speaker 1: went on a ski shart together and he fell twelve

831
00:40:56,000 --> 00:40:58,319
Speaker 1: times in one day. I mean just an absurd number

832
00:40:58,719 --> 00:41:05,320
Speaker 1: and that speaks to your like fortitude and run, but

833
00:41:05,960 --> 00:41:08,160
Speaker 1: it was it literally was one running. He felt like

834
00:41:08,200 --> 00:41:10,000
Speaker 1: twelve times. How did you get down though? Did you

835
00:41:10,040 --> 00:41:12,840
Speaker 1: have to get a skin thing a guy kind of constructor?

836
00:41:13,040 --> 00:41:15,160
Speaker 1: I really, I really wanted them to use one of

837
00:41:15,239 --> 00:41:18,239
Speaker 1: those like snowmobile things to take me down, but I

838
00:41:18,360 --> 00:41:20,040
Speaker 1: just had to go through it. And I just went

839
00:41:20,120 --> 00:41:24,239
Speaker 1: down really slowly, but like scooted down, um, just like

840
00:41:24,640 --> 00:41:26,920
Speaker 1: when a little bit fell on purpose got up when

841
00:41:26,960 --> 00:41:28,800
Speaker 1: a little bit and then you fall and you go,

842
00:41:29,120 --> 00:41:31,320
Speaker 1: I'm tired, and then you kind of wipe your tears

843
00:41:31,360 --> 00:41:32,800
Speaker 1: and then you get and they freeze and then you

844
00:41:32,880 --> 00:41:35,320
Speaker 1: get up again, and it's awful. That happened to me.

845
00:41:35,400 --> 00:41:37,080
Speaker 1: The same exact thing happened to me, and I was

846
00:41:37,480 --> 00:41:39,840
Speaker 1: I went, I tried to go down to black and

847
00:41:40,560 --> 00:41:44,440
Speaker 1: and uh I got I got like a quarterway and

848
00:41:44,440 --> 00:41:47,080
Speaker 1: I got too scared, and so I took a thing

849
00:41:47,160 --> 00:41:50,000
Speaker 1: called it's a ten, but I didn't know that ten

850
00:41:50,120 --> 00:41:53,239
Speaker 1: men ten kilometers and it wasn't even like it was

851
00:41:53,320 --> 00:41:57,160
Speaker 1: just it's winds. It took me like four hours, like

852
00:41:57,400 --> 00:41:59,239
Speaker 1: so long, and where my friends thought I was like

853
00:41:59,360 --> 00:42:01,520
Speaker 1: dead on the map and they were happy because they

854
00:42:01,560 --> 00:42:03,359
Speaker 1: wanted to go Hella skiing the next day, and they're

855
00:42:03,400 --> 00:42:05,920
Speaker 1: hoping I was hurt so they could fucking enjoy their

856
00:42:05,960 --> 00:42:08,319
Speaker 1: time without BET. Now you would go in into tent

857
00:42:08,400 --> 00:42:11,280
Speaker 1: and you would actually just enjoy it, like as opposed

858
00:42:11,320 --> 00:42:13,440
Speaker 1: to being like I hate this like I, but now

859
00:42:14,000 --> 00:42:15,960
Speaker 1: you could actually enjoy something that wasn't hard, that just

860
00:42:16,040 --> 00:42:18,120
Speaker 1: took a little bit longer. I think that's how you've improved.

861
00:42:18,840 --> 00:42:21,080
Speaker 1: But it was also I was fighting daylight, like, oh yeah,

862
00:42:21,239 --> 00:42:26,520
Speaker 1: I hate fighting Daylight. What about you, Andrew? What's your bottom? One?

863
00:42:26,719 --> 00:42:28,520
Speaker 1: My worst? I mean, we all know this one, but

864
00:42:28,560 --> 00:42:30,360
Speaker 1: when I stepped out of my comfort zone to have

865
00:42:30,440 --> 00:42:33,120
Speaker 1: an orgy, and we don't know on this one, and

866
00:42:33,520 --> 00:42:35,319
Speaker 1: I forget the details of this one all the time.

867
00:42:35,360 --> 00:42:37,400
Speaker 1: I literally couldn't tell you. You had too many stories

868
00:42:37,480 --> 00:42:39,560
Speaker 1: like this, all right? So I me and my buddy Kelly,

869
00:42:39,840 --> 00:42:42,600
Speaker 1: boy named Kelly, we were twenty four. These three girls

870
00:42:42,719 --> 00:42:45,359
Speaker 1: that were twenty that were also best friends. These girls

871
00:42:45,440 --> 00:42:47,840
Speaker 1: were best friends with one of my best friends growing up,

872
00:42:47,920 --> 00:42:49,560
Speaker 1: So I knew these girls when they were like ten.

873
00:42:50,000 --> 00:42:52,360
Speaker 1: Kelly did not, so in my head, even though they

874
00:42:52,400 --> 00:42:55,239
Speaker 1: were twenty, they still felt like they were young, like

875
00:42:55,440 --> 00:42:58,239
Speaker 1: it didn't feel comfortable for me. Yes, whatever. So we

876
00:42:58,320 --> 00:43:02,560
Speaker 1: end up in the bedroom together and uh, Kelly has

877
00:43:02,640 --> 00:43:04,879
Speaker 1: one sitting on him and one riding in his face.

878
00:43:05,719 --> 00:43:09,239
Speaker 1: And I'm realizing that I can't get hard because I'm

879
00:43:09,280 --> 00:43:12,480
Speaker 1: too nervous and I'm too scared and I feel too like,

880
00:43:12,840 --> 00:43:15,040
Speaker 1: I don't know, just weird out. And I look down

881
00:43:15,080 --> 00:43:17,839
Speaker 1: and all I see is like Kelly's thomis like Bob Dole,

882
00:43:18,160 --> 00:43:21,760
Speaker 1: like I don't even see him, and he's like smiling

883
00:43:21,880 --> 00:43:23,719
Speaker 1: year to year, and he's like having the time, Like

884
00:43:23,800 --> 00:43:26,919
Speaker 1: this is your dream as a man to have three

885
00:43:27,000 --> 00:43:30,120
Speaker 1: girls with your best friend just having sex. And I

886
00:43:30,239 --> 00:43:33,239
Speaker 1: go down on the girl. I got nothing. She blows me.

887
00:43:33,360 --> 00:43:37,839
Speaker 1: I got nothing, I got no blood flowing, and I'm

888
00:43:37,880 --> 00:43:40,160
Speaker 1: freaking like wanting to cry. I can't believe I'm not

889
00:43:40,320 --> 00:43:44,360
Speaker 1: stepping it up. Meanwhile, Kelly's struggle with us before this

890
00:43:44,520 --> 00:43:46,240
Speaker 1: or was it just like the things I get this situation.

891
00:43:46,400 --> 00:43:47,960
Speaker 1: I was never great with it because I was drinking

892
00:43:47,960 --> 00:43:51,080
Speaker 1: a lot. Oh yeah, time too. I had like three beers,

893
00:43:51,840 --> 00:43:53,560
Speaker 1: and I was also in my dad's house and my

894
00:43:53,920 --> 00:43:57,600
Speaker 1: brother's room looking at a dale arn Hard poster. You

895
00:43:57,640 --> 00:44:00,840
Speaker 1: would think would get me harder. But yeah, now I

896
00:44:00,880 --> 00:44:03,279
Speaker 1: didn't hit the wall. Yeah I hit the wall. You did, No,

897
00:44:03,400 --> 00:44:06,359
Speaker 1: I actually didn't hit the walls. So anyway, so I'm

898
00:44:06,400 --> 00:44:11,200
Speaker 1: freaking out and I'm walking by the way, Wait, what

899
00:44:11,280 --> 00:44:15,000
Speaker 1: did I say? Smaller? Anyways, so so thank you though,

900
00:44:15,239 --> 00:44:17,600
Speaker 1: uh know. So I'm walking out and the girl that

901
00:44:17,760 --> 00:44:21,120
Speaker 1: I'm making out with jumped on Kelly's hand. So Kelly

902
00:44:21,200 --> 00:44:23,680
Speaker 1: has one like a teapot, and so Kelly has a

903
00:44:23,719 --> 00:44:26,080
Speaker 1: teapot one on him and one on his face. And

904
00:44:26,120 --> 00:44:29,960
Speaker 1: they're all going, oh my god, you're study Oh my god, Kelly,

905
00:44:30,120 --> 00:44:32,640
Speaker 1: like in your head they are. Yeah. No, they're literally saying,

906
00:44:32,680 --> 00:44:38,759
Speaker 1: oh my god, I went a little high. I don't

907
00:44:38,800 --> 00:44:40,160
Speaker 1: get you got too close to the side. You hit

908
00:44:40,200 --> 00:44:47,360
Speaker 1: the wall, you Andrew, we go, we gotta go. This

909
00:44:47,440 --> 00:44:50,360
Speaker 1: is a limited segment. So I end up getting in

910
00:44:50,400 --> 00:44:53,200
Speaker 1: the bathroom and I'm freaking on the shipter and I'm

911
00:44:53,280 --> 00:44:56,439
Speaker 1: yelling at myself to come on, step it up, get hard,

912
00:44:56,520 --> 00:45:00,239
Speaker 1: get out there and get after it. And I self

913
00:45:00,239 --> 00:45:03,200
Speaker 1: in the air and I'm jerking off, and finally it happened.

914
00:45:03,680 --> 00:45:08,600
Speaker 1: I came in the bathroom while the girls I wasn't

915
00:45:08,600 --> 00:45:10,680
Speaker 1: even hard dude, I don't know how it come came out.

916
00:45:11,440 --> 00:45:18,200
Speaker 1: Did you go, oh no, look down? And I swear

917
00:45:18,280 --> 00:45:20,440
Speaker 1: to guy, I wasn't. I wasn't. I don't even know

918
00:45:20,520 --> 00:45:22,279
Speaker 1: how it came out. It was like the tenth Wonder

919
00:45:22,320 --> 00:45:24,160
Speaker 1: of the World. Okay, well, I would spend more time

920
00:45:24,200 --> 00:45:27,520
Speaker 1: on this, but we got to move on. I my

921
00:45:28,000 --> 00:45:30,799
Speaker 1: bottom was just coming to like it's the easiest thing ever.

922
00:45:30,880 --> 00:45:34,520
Speaker 1: It was when I did American Ninja Warrior Celebrity Edition,

923
00:45:34,600 --> 00:45:36,279
Speaker 1: they called me last minute to do it. I was

924
00:45:36,360 --> 00:45:39,279
Speaker 1: filling in for like Monique or something like, I don't know,

925
00:45:39,400 --> 00:45:40,960
Speaker 1: someone dropped out, and so they were like, do you

926
00:45:41,040 --> 00:45:43,640
Speaker 1: want to do this and I said, you know what, yeah,

927
00:45:43,719 --> 00:45:46,840
Speaker 1: like I want to take chances. I um, and I

928
00:45:46,880 --> 00:45:49,040
Speaker 1: got partnered with this girl, Jesse Graf, who was amazing,

929
00:45:49,120 --> 00:45:52,319
Speaker 1: And honestly, it's not a regret because it was such

930
00:45:52,360 --> 00:45:54,600
Speaker 1: a like I look back on it's a good story,

931
00:45:54,719 --> 00:45:56,239
Speaker 1: but I don't even think it was worth the story,

932
00:45:56,320 --> 00:45:57,719
Speaker 1: and I think that if I could do it again,

933
00:45:57,760 --> 00:46:00,719
Speaker 1: I would not do it because it was It made

934
00:46:00,760 --> 00:46:03,839
Speaker 1: me feel really unathletic. Natalie Morales was on it from

935
00:46:03,880 --> 00:46:06,120
Speaker 1: the Today Show. She was acting, so was um. The

936
00:46:06,200 --> 00:46:11,239
Speaker 1: girl from American beauty uh Mina Subari and they were

937
00:46:11,360 --> 00:46:13,480
Speaker 1: playing like they were like, we hate this the socks.

938
00:46:13,560 --> 00:46:15,960
Speaker 1: It's not easy for us girls because we It was

939
00:46:16,000 --> 00:46:18,719
Speaker 1: just the worst. But then they did amazingly everyone else.

940
00:46:18,719 --> 00:46:20,880
Speaker 1: I did the worst out of everyone. How car did

941
00:46:20,920 --> 00:46:23,760
Speaker 1: you get on the court? I did like three sections,

942
00:46:23,800 --> 00:46:25,680
Speaker 1: but I fell on the third one. But the third

943
00:46:25,760 --> 00:46:28,200
Speaker 1: one was like this really high like rope, like you

944
00:46:28,280 --> 00:46:30,600
Speaker 1: gotta jump for this, or you you do a zip

945
00:46:30,680 --> 00:46:33,440
Speaker 1: line and then you have to and then I fell

946
00:46:33,480 --> 00:46:35,080
Speaker 1: off the zip line. Whatever, it doesn't matter. I was

947
00:46:35,160 --> 00:46:36,640
Speaker 1: not in good shape for it. I didn't have any

948
00:46:36,680 --> 00:46:38,600
Speaker 1: time to plan. It was two days I went into

949
00:46:38,760 --> 00:46:41,239
Speaker 1: like a filmed practice with my coach, Jesse Graf, who

950
00:46:41,280 --> 00:46:44,080
Speaker 1: looks exactly like me. It's definitely not me. But the

951
00:46:44,160 --> 00:46:45,600
Speaker 1: thing that I regret the most about it was not

952
00:46:45,680 --> 00:46:49,360
Speaker 1: only that I did so badly, but I got really injured.

953
00:46:49,400 --> 00:46:51,840
Speaker 1: I still have um a scar. I have scars from it.

954
00:46:52,200 --> 00:46:54,759
Speaker 1: That circle right there, that was turf burn. I got

955
00:46:54,800 --> 00:46:57,080
Speaker 1: turf burn so badly that they did My wounds didn't

956
00:46:57,120 --> 00:47:02,120
Speaker 1: hill for about a year. I had um actual you

957
00:47:02,200 --> 00:47:06,120
Speaker 1: know something degree burns from scraping my knees and At

958
00:47:06,160 --> 00:47:08,120
Speaker 1: one point I ran across these blocks that were like

959
00:47:08,200 --> 00:47:10,040
Speaker 1: a kebab and had these blocks on them and you

960
00:47:10,160 --> 00:47:13,359
Speaker 1: run across and they spin and I had already fallen

961
00:47:13,360 --> 00:47:15,120
Speaker 1: to the water at that point, but it was for charity,

962
00:47:15,200 --> 00:47:17,520
Speaker 1: so they kept they let you keep going. And so

963
00:47:17,680 --> 00:47:19,840
Speaker 1: I was stopping wet and fallen in and my shoes

964
00:47:19,880 --> 00:47:21,080
Speaker 1: were sopping wet, and I go, can I take my

965
00:47:21,120 --> 00:47:23,880
Speaker 1: shoes off? And they just fere like sure, like this

966
00:47:24,080 --> 00:47:26,120
Speaker 1: is so dangerous to be on this thing without your shoes,

967
00:47:26,120 --> 00:47:28,840
Speaker 1: and then I broke my toe on that didn't realize

968
00:47:28,880 --> 00:47:32,160
Speaker 1: it until later, So I was extremely injured and extremely embarrassed.

969
00:47:32,239 --> 00:47:35,759
Speaker 1: And I think they aired like twenty seconds of my thing.

970
00:47:36,280 --> 00:47:38,080
Speaker 1: And I didn't meet Derek Coffin. He was very nice

971
00:47:38,120 --> 00:47:40,080
Speaker 1: to me. I met Nick Swisher from the Yankees, who

972
00:47:40,080 --> 00:47:41,720
Speaker 1: I thought was a crew member as he was comforting.

973
00:47:41,920 --> 00:47:44,000
Speaker 1: I was sobbing on the sidelines at practice because I

974
00:47:44,040 --> 00:47:45,880
Speaker 1: couldn't get past the first jump, and then they modified

975
00:47:45,880 --> 00:47:47,920
Speaker 1: it so that I could, but at practice I was

976
00:47:48,040 --> 00:47:50,040
Speaker 1: sobbing and Nick Swisher came over to me from the

977
00:47:50,120 --> 00:47:51,440
Speaker 1: Yankees and was like so nice to me, and I

978
00:47:51,520 --> 00:47:54,080
Speaker 1: was like, I'm like feeling this crew guy like, what's

979
00:47:54,120 --> 00:47:56,640
Speaker 1: this deal? And then my my boyfriend who we weren't

980
00:47:56,640 --> 00:47:58,040
Speaker 1: even dating at the time, but my he were like

981
00:47:58,080 --> 00:47:59,520
Speaker 1: kind of fooling around. He came to set and was

982
00:47:59,600 --> 00:48:02,759
Speaker 1: like I. He was like, that's so cool, Nicks, which

983
00:48:02,840 --> 00:48:04,319
Speaker 1: are so nice to you? And I was like, who

984
00:48:04,440 --> 00:48:05,799
Speaker 1: is that? He was like, that's a yankee. I was like, oh,

985
00:48:05,840 --> 00:48:06,920
Speaker 1: I thought it was a guy I could like get

986
00:48:06,960 --> 00:48:08,600
Speaker 1: and he was like a lovely wife. So Nick Swisher

987
00:48:08,640 --> 00:48:12,560
Speaker 1: was amazing and Jeff de It was also there. Um,

988
00:48:12,680 --> 00:48:14,960
Speaker 1: And that was my biggest regret because I did the

989
00:48:15,040 --> 00:48:16,480
Speaker 1: thing that I do in my career, which is like

990
00:48:16,760 --> 00:48:18,600
Speaker 1: everything in me wants to say no, but I'm gonna

991
00:48:18,640 --> 00:48:20,400
Speaker 1: say yes because I bet I'll be rewarding, And this

992
00:48:20,520 --> 00:48:23,839
Speaker 1: time it actually wasn't no. What is your number one, um,

993
00:48:24,200 --> 00:48:27,640
Speaker 1: out of your comfort zone moment? Uh? Number one has

994
00:48:27,760 --> 00:48:30,719
Speaker 1: to be the morning that I took my first Brazilian

995
00:48:30,800 --> 00:48:34,800
Speaker 1: jiu jitsu class, not athletic into it. What led you

996
00:48:34,880 --> 00:48:38,160
Speaker 1: to those doors? Um? I was just getting into wrestling

997
00:48:38,200 --> 00:48:40,359
Speaker 1: a lot and someone had recommended it. I was also

998
00:48:40,480 --> 00:48:43,719
Speaker 1: starting antidepressants for like I think that already kicked in,

999
00:48:43,760 --> 00:48:45,400
Speaker 1: So it was like a month and a half, just

1000
00:48:45,560 --> 00:48:48,759
Speaker 1: like feeling really brave and curious. And I would have

1001
00:48:49,000 --> 00:48:52,360
Speaker 1: never done it if I was not on antidepressants. But

1002
00:48:52,440 --> 00:48:54,720
Speaker 1: it was the best thing I ever did for myself,

1003
00:48:54,800 --> 00:48:57,160
Speaker 1: going out of my comfort. I love hearing that. It

1004
00:48:57,480 --> 00:49:00,800
Speaker 1: really reminds me of how the every Woman and Hysterical

1005
00:49:00,960 --> 00:49:03,680
Speaker 1: that documentary on on Hulu right now talked about doing

1006
00:49:03,719 --> 00:49:05,360
Speaker 1: stand up for the first time, and that's how I

1007
00:49:05,400 --> 00:49:06,680
Speaker 1: felt when it did stand up for the first time,

1008
00:49:06,760 --> 00:49:08,560
Speaker 1: was just like so glad I took this chance and

1009
00:49:08,600 --> 00:49:12,280
Speaker 1: it paid off instantly, Like you got like a heroin

1010
00:49:12,440 --> 00:49:15,080
Speaker 1: hit and then you're chasing that feeling forever. Do were

1011
00:49:15,120 --> 00:49:16,960
Speaker 1: you just like walking on clouds when you left, Like

1012
00:49:17,080 --> 00:49:20,120
Speaker 1: I found the thing that I loved so much? Yeah,

1013
00:49:20,719 --> 00:49:22,719
Speaker 1: what was it? What was the moment where you were like,

1014
00:49:22,880 --> 00:49:24,920
Speaker 1: this is it? Did you punch someone? Did you get

1015
00:49:24,960 --> 00:49:28,400
Speaker 1: to kick? Did you There's nothing, there's no punching or

1016
00:49:28,520 --> 00:49:32,480
Speaker 1: kicking and jiu jitsu. It's just like using the leverage

1017
00:49:32,520 --> 00:49:35,080
Speaker 1: of my body and being like, wow, I'm I'm strong,

1018
00:49:35,239 --> 00:49:38,040
Speaker 1: I have I can be more self aware and aware

1019
00:49:38,080 --> 00:49:40,560
Speaker 1: of my surroundings at the same time in the situation.

1020
00:49:40,800 --> 00:49:42,680
Speaker 1: One class did that for you? Taught you like, what

1021
00:49:42,880 --> 00:49:46,080
Speaker 1: was one class? Wow, I gotta do it, I really do.

1022
00:49:47,440 --> 00:49:51,759
Speaker 1: Anyone who ever knows jiu jitsu or um pretty much

1023
00:49:51,800 --> 00:49:53,719
Speaker 1: jiu jitsu was the one that I've never heard someone

1024
00:49:53,800 --> 00:49:58,880
Speaker 1: go it's it's not say it's changed their life. Literally,

1025
00:49:58,920 --> 00:50:00,920
Speaker 1: no one. Well, what's amazing mat ju jitsu is like

1026
00:50:01,120 --> 00:50:03,640
Speaker 1: a smaller guy can beat the ship out of a

1027
00:50:03,760 --> 00:50:08,040
Speaker 1: much wronger So women can really like feel their strongest

1028
00:50:08,080 --> 00:50:10,000
Speaker 1: self in it. That's so cool. And I bet a

1029
00:50:10,080 --> 00:50:11,759
Speaker 1: lot of listeners are going to try it now because

1030
00:50:11,760 --> 00:50:14,839
Speaker 1: of the description, including myself Andrew, what's your top out

1031
00:50:14,920 --> 00:50:17,640
Speaker 1: of comfort moment? I got to It's so hard, but

1032
00:50:17,960 --> 00:50:20,160
Speaker 1: I'll make it quick because you spent most of her

1033
00:50:20,160 --> 00:50:21,640
Speaker 1: time on the last one. Yeah, and then you went

1034
00:50:21,680 --> 00:50:24,680
Speaker 1: pretty long too, and then um, so yeah we're both

1035
00:50:24,719 --> 00:50:32,799
Speaker 1: hostick host kick, I'll host kick you. Okay, essentially, I'll

1036
00:50:32,840 --> 00:50:35,279
Speaker 1: just tell this one. Then I went I was in Budapest,

1037
00:50:35,680 --> 00:50:42,000
Speaker 1: which is Budapest. But you say um when you backpacked, Um, yeah,

1038
00:50:42,040 --> 00:50:44,319
Speaker 1: you say it in a way that makes me think

1039
00:50:44,360 --> 00:50:48,320
Speaker 1: you're really really Yeah. So I went to amsterdamn Manic Crog, Budapest,

1040
00:50:48,440 --> 00:50:58,040
Speaker 1: Greek Islands, and Roman Milan and I didn't okay. So anyway,

1041
00:50:58,120 --> 00:51:00,239
Speaker 1: so we were hanging out there and meet my brother,

1042
00:51:00,280 --> 00:51:02,200
Speaker 1: were trying to figure out like an activity to do.

1043
00:51:02,320 --> 00:51:05,440
Speaker 1: We were very hungover, and we met these Australians. Australians

1044
00:51:05,520 --> 00:51:08,719
Speaker 1: love to travel and these guys just were and a

1045
00:51:08,800 --> 00:51:10,640
Speaker 1: couple of girls were like, yeah, we're gonna go cave

1046
00:51:11,440 --> 00:51:16,320
Speaker 1: diving or whatever, like climbing through caves and we're like, yeah, whatever,

1047
00:51:16,440 --> 00:51:18,239
Speaker 1: they will do it. Like we had no idea what

1048
00:51:18,400 --> 00:51:20,920
Speaker 1: we were. We didn't make out of your comfort zone,

1049
00:51:20,920 --> 00:51:22,640
Speaker 1: because it seems like your comfort zone is just saying

1050
00:51:22,760 --> 00:51:26,080
Speaker 1: yes to think you know this is it was. Next thing,

1051
00:51:26,160 --> 00:51:30,640
Speaker 1: you know, we're climbing down the ladder fifty underground and

1052
00:51:30,920 --> 00:51:33,080
Speaker 1: like it though, it sounds like you set yourself up

1053
00:51:33,120 --> 00:51:35,319
Speaker 1: where you couldn't back out going back out because you're

1054
00:51:35,360 --> 00:51:39,000
Speaker 1: down in the next thing, we know, you're we're in

1055
00:51:39,080 --> 00:51:41,360
Speaker 1: the cave and you can't get through the you have

1056
00:51:41,520 --> 00:51:46,880
Speaker 1: to harve your body. When did you say that? Because

1057
00:51:47,400 --> 00:51:50,759
Speaker 1: rewarding because I got I finally was down there. We

1058
00:51:50,840 --> 00:51:53,560
Speaker 1: were bonding with these random strangers. I stepped out of

1059
00:51:53,640 --> 00:51:59,160
Speaker 1: my comfort Yeah, no, I know, Hank and Jessica um

1060
00:51:59,520 --> 00:52:02,160
Speaker 1: so one. But then I know there was a moment

1061
00:52:02,239 --> 00:52:05,920
Speaker 1: down in the case the Barbie Australian things. Yeah that

1062
00:52:06,040 --> 00:52:08,320
Speaker 1: words toilet, and I go, I want to do the

1063
00:52:08,440 --> 00:52:10,680
Speaker 1: hardest thing possible down here, and the guy took me

1064
00:52:10,719 --> 00:52:13,840
Speaker 1: and I had to swing my leg over like ravine

1065
00:52:13,880 --> 00:52:16,520
Speaker 1: and if I slipped, I seriously I would have, like

1066
00:52:16,719 --> 00:52:19,479
Speaker 1: really really hurt myself. And I had to fucking walk

1067
00:52:19,520 --> 00:52:22,719
Speaker 1: on the wall like a like like chopsticks like and

1068
00:52:22,840 --> 00:52:24,960
Speaker 1: I fucking figured it out and I walked on to

1069
00:52:25,000 --> 00:52:27,360
Speaker 1: feed that way and I got out. Finally. It was

1070
00:52:27,480 --> 00:52:30,040
Speaker 1: three and a half hours. We're underground and we're covered

1071
00:52:30,080 --> 00:52:32,759
Speaker 1: in dirt and we're all hugging and drinking beers. And

1072
00:52:32,880 --> 00:52:35,000
Speaker 1: it just made me realize to never do anything like that.

1073
00:52:35,320 --> 00:52:37,719
Speaker 1: I mean that that is once that worked out for you,

1074
00:52:37,840 --> 00:52:40,040
Speaker 1: but you you, you could have died in this podcast

1075
00:52:40,120 --> 00:52:49,359
Speaker 1: would be so much better. My number one UM is, uh,

1076
00:52:50,000 --> 00:52:51,640
Speaker 1: dancing with the Stars. And I know that these are

1077
00:52:51,680 --> 00:52:53,680
Speaker 1: both shitty answers of like TV shows, but Dancing with

1078
00:52:53,719 --> 00:52:55,719
Speaker 1: the Stars I was I was hesitant to say yes

1079
00:52:55,760 --> 00:52:59,600
Speaker 1: too because um of my experience on American Enga Warrior,

1080
00:52:59,600 --> 00:53:01,160
Speaker 1: which filled me with the same dread of like, I'm

1081
00:53:01,200 --> 00:53:03,080
Speaker 1: not athletic, I'm bad at this thing. I only like

1082
00:53:03,120 --> 00:53:05,200
Speaker 1: doing things. I'm good at. Dancing, as you know, is

1083
00:53:05,320 --> 00:53:08,160
Speaker 1: my number one greatest fear, and being coordinated and having

1084
00:53:08,200 --> 00:53:10,320
Speaker 1: no rhythm, all these things I believed about myself that

1085
00:53:10,480 --> 00:53:13,719
Speaker 1: turned out we're true. So it is true that I

1086
00:53:14,120 --> 00:53:15,839
Speaker 1: but you can learn these things, is what I learned.

1087
00:53:15,920 --> 00:53:18,400
Speaker 1: And I think doing Dancing with the Stars introduced me

1088
00:53:18,480 --> 00:53:21,640
Speaker 1: to my love of being involved with reality TV. It

1089
00:53:21,960 --> 00:53:25,800
Speaker 1: taught me about really working past that feeling of like

1090
00:53:26,160 --> 00:53:28,919
Speaker 1: I can't and I won't and I want to quit,

1091
00:53:29,040 --> 00:53:31,560
Speaker 1: and like not having a choice, like when I when

1092
00:53:31,600 --> 00:53:33,040
Speaker 1: that voice comes up for me, I just give up

1093
00:53:33,080 --> 00:53:35,759
Speaker 1: because I'm my own boss. When a hot Russian man

1094
00:53:35,840 --> 00:53:37,279
Speaker 1: is yelling at you and you have to dance on

1095
00:53:37,360 --> 00:53:39,440
Speaker 1: Life TV, it like teaches you so much. I got

1096
00:53:39,480 --> 00:53:42,279
Speaker 1: amazing stories from it, and I also think it led

1097
00:53:42,360 --> 00:53:44,720
Speaker 1: me to believe that these stories I told myself about

1098
00:53:44,760 --> 00:53:47,080
Speaker 1: myself about being bad at dancing, not having good rhythm,

1099
00:53:47,280 --> 00:53:49,400
Speaker 1: all these things that yes, I am not naturally good

1100
00:53:49,440 --> 00:53:52,480
Speaker 1: at those things, but like like people who are dyslexic

1101
00:53:52,960 --> 00:53:56,080
Speaker 1: who go on to be like or have a d

1102
00:53:56,320 --> 00:53:59,320
Speaker 1: who have learning disabilities where they start on a not

1103
00:53:59,520 --> 00:54:01,719
Speaker 1: even play in field with everyone else. It makes you

1104
00:54:01,800 --> 00:54:04,279
Speaker 1: work harder. If you work hard enough, you can good, good,

1105
00:54:04,560 --> 00:54:07,840
Speaker 1: great at things, even if you come in like naturally

1106
00:54:07,920 --> 00:54:09,960
Speaker 1: bad at them. And for me, I was naturally bad

1107
00:54:09,960 --> 00:54:12,640
Speaker 1: at dancing, and it showed me that where I was

1108
00:54:12,680 --> 00:54:14,520
Speaker 1: even able to get to in just the one episode

1109
00:54:14,560 --> 00:54:16,480
Speaker 1: I was on, I was I can't. I would have

1110
00:54:16,560 --> 00:54:18,279
Speaker 1: never guessed I could be that good, even though it

1111
00:54:18,360 --> 00:54:20,920
Speaker 1: wasn't that good. And now I'm playing guitar because I

1112
00:54:21,080 --> 00:54:24,279
Speaker 1: learned that I do have rhythm and that if I

1113
00:54:24,320 --> 00:54:25,719
Speaker 1: want to be good at guitar, I just gotta put

1114
00:54:25,760 --> 00:54:27,879
Speaker 1: in hours and not get myself voted off my own

1115
00:54:27,920 --> 00:54:33,320
Speaker 1: show called a Guitar. I I am looking to become

1116
00:54:33,480 --> 00:54:36,840
Speaker 1: a singer, songwriter, recording artist, and I know that sounds crazy,

1117
00:54:36,960 --> 00:54:39,000
Speaker 1: and I know everyone's like, no one wants that, Nikki.

1118
00:54:39,040 --> 00:54:43,839
Speaker 1: It's like Michael Jordan's playing playing pickleball, like even more

1119
00:54:43,960 --> 00:54:45,960
Speaker 1: like no one wants this. No one even knows what

1120
00:54:46,040 --> 00:54:49,320
Speaker 1: that would look like. Um. And I don't mean to

1121
00:54:49,360 --> 00:54:51,359
Speaker 1: compary to myself to Jordan's by any means, but I'm

1122
00:54:51,360 --> 00:54:53,759
Speaker 1: just saying like it's an obnoxious when artists try to

1123
00:54:53,800 --> 00:54:58,160
Speaker 1: do other things. Final thought, I had a realization last

1124
00:54:58,239 --> 00:55:00,600
Speaker 1: night as I was sitting in the hammock outside listening

1125
00:55:00,719 --> 00:55:04,000
Speaker 1: to Taylor Swift staring up at the stars, and I

1126
00:55:04,200 --> 00:55:14,359
Speaker 1: realized that, um, I, comedy is the most uh unnuanced there.

1127
00:55:14,440 --> 00:55:15,960
Speaker 1: There seems to be nuance and comedy, but it's the

1128
00:55:16,040 --> 00:55:21,600
Speaker 1: most um on obtuse form of art. It's just like,

1129
00:55:22,120 --> 00:55:24,600
Speaker 1: this is what I'm thinking. It's coming from me. I'm

1130
00:55:24,640 --> 00:55:27,120
Speaker 1: not doing it through a character, through fiction. It's it's

1131
00:55:27,120 --> 00:55:30,080
Speaker 1: as it says, it's like an autobiography on stage, but

1132
00:55:30,120 --> 00:55:32,040
Speaker 1: it's almost more vulnerable because it's off the top of

1133
00:55:32,080 --> 00:55:33,600
Speaker 1: your head, so you almost have a chance of not

1134
00:55:33,680 --> 00:55:35,359
Speaker 1: being able to self edit and say things that are

1135
00:55:35,440 --> 00:55:38,600
Speaker 1: even more like superfluous, like I'm over talked up ton

1136
00:55:38,680 --> 00:55:41,719
Speaker 1: on this podcast already and would have edited things out

1137
00:55:41,760 --> 00:55:44,759
Speaker 1: in a final presentation. So I think stand up is

1138
00:55:44,840 --> 00:55:48,600
Speaker 1: the most just like, no bullshit, this is what I'm feeling.

1139
00:55:48,960 --> 00:55:51,960
Speaker 1: There's like you're wrapping it up around comedy, but it

1140
00:55:52,320 --> 00:55:54,840
Speaker 1: is very honest. Whereas music, for me to write a

1141
00:55:54,920 --> 00:55:59,440
Speaker 1: song is seemingly impossible or poetry because it's too obtuse,

1142
00:55:59,600 --> 00:56:04,160
Speaker 1: like I can't capture my feelings by being so vague

1143
00:56:04,400 --> 00:56:08,440
Speaker 1: and poetic I need to be specific and if anyone

1144
00:56:08,520 --> 00:56:11,320
Speaker 1: has any songwriting tips out there or like ways to

1145
00:56:11,520 --> 00:56:13,960
Speaker 1: access your feelings through poetry and not feel like so

1146
00:56:14,320 --> 00:56:17,440
Speaker 1: stupid doing it, Like if anyone started writing poetry and

1147
00:56:17,520 --> 00:56:19,440
Speaker 1: always felt really dumb doing it and then you got

1148
00:56:19,480 --> 00:56:20,759
Speaker 1: to a place where you're like, actually I can do

1149
00:56:20,840 --> 00:56:22,400
Speaker 1: it now, Will you tell me how you did that?

1150
00:56:23,880 --> 00:56:26,040
Speaker 1: And I'm not just I know I could know you.

1151
00:56:26,480 --> 00:56:29,440
Speaker 1: You could be today an amazing songwriter. Yeah, I know you.

1152
00:56:30,040 --> 00:56:33,840
Speaker 1: Specifics are fantastic in songs. No, I don't know, you

1153
00:56:33,920 --> 00:56:36,680
Speaker 1: know what I mean? Like music lyrics are poetry when

1154
00:56:37,000 --> 00:56:39,560
Speaker 1: I love Taylor Swip because there are specifics here and there,

1155
00:56:39,880 --> 00:56:42,400
Speaker 1: but it really is about you know. I was in

1156
00:56:42,520 --> 00:56:44,680
Speaker 1: the on the last podcast Reporting Reporting, I was talking

1157
00:56:44,719 --> 00:56:46,719
Speaker 1: about my favorite lyric that I told you about a

1158
00:56:46,760 --> 00:56:49,560
Speaker 1: couple times. Because Andrew and I sometimes get wrapped up

1159
00:56:49,640 --> 00:56:52,719
Speaker 1: in whatever we're obsessed with. Let's say it's a person

1160
00:56:52,800 --> 00:56:55,120
Speaker 1: that we have a crush on or something, and you're

1161
00:56:55,200 --> 00:56:57,279
Speaker 1: like waiting for that person to reach out to you,

1162
00:56:57,960 --> 00:57:00,680
Speaker 1: and you like, you put your life fun hold because

1163
00:57:00,680 --> 00:57:02,200
Speaker 1: this thing might happen, and then it doesn't happen. You

1164
00:57:02,280 --> 00:57:03,960
Speaker 1: hate them so much more than if you just moved

1165
00:57:04,000 --> 00:57:07,200
Speaker 1: on with your life. So there's this lyric in the

1166
00:57:07,719 --> 00:57:10,200
Speaker 1: song August by Taylor Swift that I love, and she's

1167
00:57:10,239 --> 00:57:12,839
Speaker 1: talking about this girl who like is dating a guy

1168
00:57:13,000 --> 00:57:14,920
Speaker 1: that is like cheating on his girlfriend with her, and

1169
00:57:14,960 --> 00:57:16,840
Speaker 1: she's like, he like just to wait by the phone,

1170
00:57:17,200 --> 00:57:19,480
Speaker 1: and the lyric is I canceled my plans just in

1171
00:57:19,600 --> 00:57:21,920
Speaker 1: case you call back. When I was living for the

1172
00:57:22,040 --> 00:57:23,920
Speaker 1: hope of it all, for the hope of it all,

1173
00:57:24,400 --> 00:57:27,520
Speaker 1: meet me behind the mall, Meet me behind the mall

1174
00:57:27,880 --> 00:57:30,920
Speaker 1: is very specific, but that has so much meaning. You

1175
00:57:31,000 --> 00:57:34,400
Speaker 1: picture like, this person is being hidden, this person is

1176
00:57:34,840 --> 00:57:36,960
Speaker 1: has to be behind them all. Why not in the mall?

1177
00:57:37,200 --> 00:57:39,320
Speaker 1: This person is a secret, this person doesn't feel seen.

1178
00:57:39,320 --> 00:57:42,200
Speaker 1: There's so much poetic poetry going on in there. And

1179
00:57:42,280 --> 00:57:44,960
Speaker 1: then that I canceled my plans just in case you call.

1180
00:57:45,480 --> 00:57:48,880
Speaker 1: How many times in our lives have we said no

1181
00:57:49,040 --> 00:57:51,800
Speaker 1: to something because we're wanting we hope for this other

1182
00:57:51,880 --> 00:57:54,560
Speaker 1: thing that happened. It happens all the time. I mean

1183
00:57:54,600 --> 00:57:56,720
Speaker 1: we were talking about it, how well now that you

1184
00:57:56,800 --> 00:57:59,720
Speaker 1: have a cell phone, but when we had landlines, we wouldn't.

1185
00:58:00,360 --> 00:58:03,080
Speaker 1: I would be out at a bar with my friends

1186
00:58:03,360 --> 00:58:05,439
Speaker 1: and not be president at all because I'm just thinking

1187
00:58:05,480 --> 00:58:09,360
Speaker 1: about the phone. I'd run home around eleven, check my messages.

1188
00:58:09,840 --> 00:58:13,640
Speaker 1: I'd have one message, and I go at three pm,

1189
00:58:14,280 --> 00:58:18,480
Speaker 1: and we all know at three pm up, it ain't

1190
00:58:18,720 --> 00:58:21,680
Speaker 1: freaking some hot asks. It's that you are ready to

1191
00:58:21,760 --> 00:58:24,320
Speaker 1: go to the dentist together. Yeah, my creditor is saying,

1192
00:58:24,440 --> 00:58:28,560
Speaker 1: yo money because you didn't arrison. Well, I'm just saying

1193
00:58:28,600 --> 00:58:31,400
Speaker 1: that that lyric in general, in terms of like writing lyrics,

1194
00:58:31,440 --> 00:58:34,720
Speaker 1: I would be a good lyricist because I like words,

1195
00:58:34,920 --> 00:58:37,720
Speaker 1: but for me, that song would be. And I canceled

1196
00:58:37,760 --> 00:58:40,000
Speaker 1: my plans just in case Katie Rowl called because I'm

1197
00:58:40,000 --> 00:58:42,360
Speaker 1: trying to be popular with the girls and my friends

1198
00:58:42,480 --> 00:58:44,080
Speaker 1: are not as cool as them, and I want to

1199
00:58:44,440 --> 00:58:46,120
Speaker 1: smoke cigarettes with the cool girls. So I'm in the

1200
00:58:46,160 --> 00:58:47,680
Speaker 1: eighth grade and I go to Michael's with my mom

1201
00:58:47,760 --> 00:58:49,360
Speaker 1: and we come home from Michael's and then my friend

1202
00:58:49,440 --> 00:58:51,160
Speaker 1: Kristen calls me and I think it's Katie Rapp and

1203
00:58:51,200 --> 00:58:52,760
Speaker 1: then I pick up the phone but it's not Katie

1204
00:58:52,800 --> 00:58:54,520
Speaker 1: row it's Christen. Then I say I gotta go because

1205
00:58:54,520 --> 00:58:56,280
Speaker 1: I'm not sure if our call leading is working and

1206
00:58:56,360 --> 00:58:58,400
Speaker 1: she might get a busy tone so then I play

1207
00:58:58,480 --> 00:59:00,440
Speaker 1: up the phone, well my friend with phone with my

1208
00:59:00,480 --> 00:59:02,200
Speaker 1: friends who I really should be hanging out with, because

1209
00:59:02,240 --> 00:59:04,520
Speaker 1: that's a real friendship. Then I wait around the phone

1210
00:59:04,560 --> 00:59:06,600
Speaker 1: for Katie Row to call, and then Katie Rown never

1211
00:59:06,840 --> 00:59:09,480
Speaker 1: even called, and then you are never in the popular group.

1212
00:59:09,640 --> 00:59:11,680
Speaker 1: And then someday Cursor will become more popular than you.

1213
00:59:12,040 --> 00:59:14,040
Speaker 1: And it's because she didn't cancel our plans, just encased

1214
00:59:14,080 --> 00:59:16,560
Speaker 1: to call, and she lived her life. And it's attracted

1215
00:59:16,680 --> 00:59:18,640
Speaker 1: to people when you're being your authentic self and you're

1216
00:59:18,640 --> 00:59:21,920
Speaker 1: not waiting by the phone for someone to go August.

1217
00:59:22,280 --> 00:59:24,400
Speaker 1: That's August by Nikki Glazer. Okay, guys, thank you so

1218
00:59:24,520 --> 00:59:26,800
Speaker 1: much for listening to show Um. Sorry, my a D

1219
00:59:26,880 --> 00:59:29,560
Speaker 1: D meds were kicking on as soon as we were recording,

1220
00:59:29,600 --> 00:59:32,240
Speaker 1: and it was a lot. But we'll see you tomorrow. Noah,

1221
00:59:32,280 --> 00:59:35,360
Speaker 1: I love you, Andrew, I love you. Besties, we love you.