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Speaker 1: This is Cole Minor John, this is coal Minor Salm, And.

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Speaker 2: We have been digging for stories on the Okay Storytime

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Speaker 2: podcast as long as we can remember saying, and we've

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Speaker 2: found some diamonds of the rough, how haven't we?

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Speaker 1: John? That's right?

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Speaker 2: But before we do that, we have to wade through

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Speaker 2: two more minutes of incredible ads from our sponsors keeping

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Speaker 2: us finding more great stories on this show.

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Speaker 3: My sister aw married a loser. It's negatively impacting my

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Speaker 3: everyday life. I can normally look at situations pretty objectively

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Speaker 3: and come up with solutions. However, this problem, I feel

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Speaker 3: is one that I am too close to be able

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Speaker 3: to solve. Any help on this is appreciated by the way.

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Speaker 3: This comes from today Bruce one and if you want

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Speaker 3: to submit your own stories, go to our slash Okay

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Speaker 3: Storytime suburedate So prevace. I have been married to my wife,

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Speaker 3: thirty female, for six years, but have been together for eleven.

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Speaker 3: During this time, I of course have been pretty close

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Speaker 3: with their family, including her sister Laurie. Laurie has always

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Speaker 3: had health problems from birth. She has had multiple heart

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Speaker 3: surgeries and even as of a few months ago, is

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Speaker 3: now on the transplant list to receive a new one.

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Speaker 4: Wow.

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Speaker 3: Roughly three years ago Laurie married Scott, and in that

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Speaker 3: time they built a home on the family homestead, if

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Speaker 3: you will, which is roughly one hundred yards away from

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Speaker 3: where my wife and I built our home. Scott is

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Speaker 3: the biggest piece of crap and most selfish human being

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Speaker 3: I have ever had the displeasure to come across. He

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Speaker 3: is very lazy, overweight, and in all honestly a very

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Speaker 3: spid person. He once tried to cash a publisher's clearing

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Speaker 3: house check that was sent in the mail to him.

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Speaker 3: The problem Laurie, up until the last year or so,

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Speaker 3: has been able to work. She has had her master's

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Speaker 3: in nursing and supported herself and Scott. Scott works part

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Speaker 3: time at a hardware store and plays golf, and that's

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Speaker 3: about it. The issue now is that since Laurie isn't working,

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Speaker 3: is on disability. Now they are always out of money.

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Speaker 3: This means constantly asking my wife to take her places.

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Speaker 3: She doesn't have enough to cover gas for her car.

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Speaker 1: Wow.

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Speaker 3: And when they go out to pay her way for

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Speaker 3: things that they do dinners, et cetera. The money that

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Speaker 3: my wife gives her is pretty small on a monthly basis,

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Speaker 3: and I'm fine with helping family going through a hard time.

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Speaker 3: The difficult part is the time that Laurie takes away

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Speaker 3: from my wife. Since Laurie is ill and constantly in

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Speaker 3: and out of the hospital, my wife has taken over

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Speaker 3: helping run the household. She will clean their house, do laundry,

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Speaker 3: and help pay their bills on time. Doing all of

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Speaker 3: these things, of course, takes away time that I have

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Speaker 3: to spend with my wife and consequently can leave our

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Speaker 3: home dirtier than Lori's. Since my wife is a stay

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Speaker 3: at home mom, I feel that this is unacceptable. I

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Speaker 3: have expressed this to her. She agrees, but nothing changes.

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Speaker 3: This of course, impacts my children as well, as they

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Speaker 3: don't enjoy spending so much time at Lourie's house as well. Yes,

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Speaker 3: the homes are closed, but it still isn't fun for them.

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Speaker 3: Of Course, while my wife is running around running two households,

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Speaker 3: Scott is off golfing because why the heck not? Just

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Speaker 3: this week, Laurie has been hospitalized and he hasn't come

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Speaker 3: to visit her once. However, he has been golfing three

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Speaker 3: times this week. Lastly, all the running around causes my

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Speaker 3: wife to be very understandably tired at the end of

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Speaker 3: the day. I do at least half of our housework

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Speaker 3: now more if you consider I do all the outside

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Speaker 3: stuff as well, even with working full time, and this,

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Speaker 3: of course has negatively impacted our spicy sleep life. The

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Speaker 3: questions how do I properly communicate to my wife that

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Speaker 3: this can't continue. I have expressed this before, but at

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Speaker 3: the end of the day, she says she can't turn

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Speaker 3: her back on family. Is there anything I can do

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Speaker 3: to shake into Laurie's head that her husband is a

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Speaker 3: leech just clinging to her for the free ride, that

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Speaker 3: she needs to leave him as she would be better

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Speaker 3: off without him. Is there anything else anyone feels I

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Speaker 3: can do to help the situation. I know I'm not perfect,

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Speaker 3: but it seems like this seriously impacts either my wife, children,

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Speaker 3: or my life daily and there isn't edit But do

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Speaker 3: any thoughts before we get into it.

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Speaker 5: I'd be like man, I used to have, like just

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Speaker 5: tell a story that's like literally their story, but like

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Speaker 5: make it yours and.

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Speaker 3: See if it like clicks with But also I think

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Speaker 3: that op needs to kind of I think that things

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Speaker 3: need to change, but also he has to be really

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Speaker 3: careful about how he words this because even so far,

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Speaker 3: he's you know, he said that he went to his

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Speaker 3: wife and was like, the house is pretty dirty. You

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Speaker 3: can't be doing that, like you're supposed to be a

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Speaker 3: stay at home mom. This is unacceptable, and I think

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Speaker 3: that you have to have a little bit more understanding

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Speaker 3: that it's not just she's paying for her sister, you know,

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Speaker 3: and doing all that for no reason. Her sister had,

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Speaker 3: you know, is ill, is sick and needs a lot

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Speaker 3: of like is being hospitalized. So clearly this is kind

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Speaker 3: of uh, you know, the circumstances are a little bit

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Speaker 3: different right now. So I feel like Op needs to

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Speaker 3: be a little bit more understanding than it seems like

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Speaker 3: he's being. But I also understand that he sees this

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Speaker 3: woman being taken advantage of by Scott.

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Speaker 5: There's a lot of delicate layers to this suit.

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Speaker 3: Yes, very delicate, and I think you just have to

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Speaker 3: be a very careful HU word it with your wife.

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Speaker 6: Edit.

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Speaker 3: I want to thank everyone for their suggestions. I'm going

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Speaker 3: to try and talk to my wife tonight. I'm going

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Speaker 3: to use a lot of what people have boasted here. Please,

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Speaker 3: if there's any more suggestions keep them coming. I want

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Speaker 3: to hit this from as many sides as I can

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Speaker 3: to improve the situation that will work best for everyone.

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Speaker 3: And there are some comments I'm at Once says, if

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Speaker 3: I have a maid who not only cleaned my house

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Speaker 3: but gave me money instead of making me pay her,

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Speaker 3: I'd spent a lot of time napping and golfing too.

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Speaker 3: He's got zero incentive to change, and the sister in

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Speaker 3: law isn't going to see how bad things are when

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Speaker 3: your wife is keeping it all together. The word enabler

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Speaker 3: can hold a lot of weight and often make people

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Speaker 3: realize they're not helping. Obie says, I have mentioned this

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Speaker 3: exact thing to her, but I agree she's being a

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Speaker 3: big time enabler. I don't think I've called her that before,

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Speaker 3: but that should get her to think, mainly because she

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Speaker 3: calls my mother an enabler, and here she is doing

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Speaker 3: the same thing, and there is an update. Again, I

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Speaker 3: don't think that's quite fair. I understand that she, in

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Speaker 3: a technical sense, is allowing Scott to do nothing, but

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Speaker 3: if she wasn't, then nothing would happen, like no one

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Speaker 3: would help this her sister who is sick. But there

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Speaker 3: is an update. So my last post was pretty popular,

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Speaker 3: to my surprise, honestly, and I didn't expect as many

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Speaker 3: responses as I got. I did read all of the comments,

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Speaker 3: ya Yanna. I thought awhile how to best tackle this issue,

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Speaker 3: but thought it best to take Bredit's advice and decided

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Speaker 3: to speak with my wife using very specific language. Specifically,

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Speaker 3: I made mention of her spreading herself so thin and

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Speaker 3: how that made me feel, especially considering that this was

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Speaker 3: impacting our children, even though they don't seem to have

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Speaker 3: a real problem with it.

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Speaker 4: That I did.

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Speaker 3: I also told her how I felt we were supplementing

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Speaker 3: Scott's bad decisions and that she was enabling them to

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Speaker 3: continue on like this. I felt that she slash we

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Speaker 3: were being taken advantage of, and it made me angry.

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Speaker 3: She didn't disagree with me on anything, and did agree

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Speaker 3: that things needed to change, but she really didn't know

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Speaker 3: how to change things given that they had gone on

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Speaker 3: for as long as they did. We together decided that

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Speaker 3: she was to start off small and she would rain

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Speaker 3: in the amount of time she spends over there each

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Speaker 3: week until she stopped altogether. So for the past few

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Speaker 3: weeks she was down to two days a week when

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Speaker 3: it was almost every day. This has been going on,

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Speaker 3: and it was going pretty well in my opinion, but

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Speaker 3: of course Scott happened.

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Speaker 5: Oh Scott, like Scott dissick from the keeping up with

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Speaker 5: the Kardashians. Scott always just comes in and rans it

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Speaker 5: this effort.

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Speaker 3: Had a goll last week to ask my wife why

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Speaker 3: she wasn't coming over to clean as much, and that

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Speaker 3: their house was getting dirty, and that Laurie was having

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Speaker 3: a hard time keeping up with things. You're making your

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Speaker 3: sick wife do this, dude, you suck man.

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Speaker 4: Get Scott out now.

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Speaker 3: My wife doesn't do confrontation, so she shrugged him off,

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Speaker 3: but told me about it later in the night. I

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Speaker 3: went over to his house late and told them that

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Speaker 3: what he said was very disrespectful, and that if he

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Speaker 3: ever spoke to my wife that way again, I would

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Speaker 3: the old one to him in his fat face.

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Speaker 5: I would put a freshock full of Nichols ride in Dewey's.

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Speaker 4: Temple.

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Speaker 3: I'd do the old conquest on him.

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Speaker 5: I do an old I do the old conquest.

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Speaker 3: He immediately started to apologize, but by then I told

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Speaker 3: him that my wife wouldn't be cleaning their house anymore.

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Speaker 3: And he needs to deal with his own crappy housekeeping habits.

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Speaker 1: Now.

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Speaker 3: Dang, I guess we just needed Op to come and

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Speaker 3: sit down the law. This of course caused my wife

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Speaker 3: a lot of tears, but ultimately she understood. This was

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Speaker 3: compounded by the fact that Laurie decided to get yet

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Speaker 3: another dog. Dude, why are you getting a dog when

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Speaker 3: you're going through heart surgery. It's like the worst time

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Speaker 3: to get a dog. Who's dating Scott certainly not taking

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Speaker 3: care of this puppy.

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Speaker 5: Yes, Scott. Scott would just like Scott's in the room free.

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Speaker 5: He'd be like, yeah, I'm taking care of the dog.

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Speaker 5: I'm letting it run amok in the neighborhood.

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Speaker 3: Laurie and Scott have three, but now four dogs, which

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Speaker 3: they pretty much let crap and piss wherever they want.

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Speaker 3: So my wife gave them our steam cleaner and sweeper

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Speaker 3: we needed new ones anyway, and said to have it

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Speaker 3: because she was done. She later spoke with Lourie and

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Speaker 3: said that in the future, if she needs to recover

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Speaker 3: from the hospital, she can just stay at our place.

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Speaker 3: Since my wife stopped cleaning over there, Laurie pretty much

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Speaker 3: comes over every day and spends all day at our house,

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Speaker 3: which I can't blame her. But more importantly and oddly,

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Speaker 3: Laurie has been helping out in our house and keeping

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Speaker 3: an eye on the kids, so my wife can actually

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Speaker 3: get more done at our house and has more time

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Speaker 3: to relax and go out and do things with the kids,

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Speaker 3: which has helped her stress levels.

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Speaker 4: I love this. That's great.

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Speaker 5: This is right track. Types that we were on the

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Speaker 5: left track. Now we're on the right track.

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Speaker 3: By the way, you can be on the right track

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Speaker 3: too if you listen to full episodes of stories just

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Speaker 3: like this. Just go to Apple Podcast, Spotify, or iHeartRadio

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Speaker 3: and search a bocus short time. But there is a

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Speaker 3: little bit left to this story.

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Speaker 5: So let's let's just go ahead and like she's just

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Speaker 5: finish her off cannonball right in.

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Speaker 3: I know this situation is far from over. It won't

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Speaker 3: be over until Scott's fat butt as a heart attack

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Speaker 3: or Laurie gets sense and leaves him. But for now,

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Speaker 3: my wife is firmly on cleaning only cleaning our house,

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Speaker 3: and although we are still covering some extras for LORI,

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Speaker 3: we are done having anything we do benefit Scott any longer.

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Speaker 3: My only question now if anyone is reading this, how

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Speaker 3: the heck do I make or see Scott is a loser.

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Speaker 3: My wife has been trying to point more things out

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Speaker 3: lately to her, but she still doesn't get it. I

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Speaker 3: think she is slowly getting it.

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Speaker 5: I think you just got to really be like your

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Speaker 5: loser husband is out there being a loser.

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Speaker 4: Do you see that?

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Speaker 3: Yeah?

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Speaker 4: I mean I think your house is a loser.

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Speaker 3: I think the fact that she's over at your house

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Speaker 3: a lot. She's clearly not happy in you know, her

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Speaker 3: home environment.

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Speaker 5: I feel like people like low key they know. I

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Speaker 5: think so they just know and they're like, I'm not

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Speaker 5: going to look at it.

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Speaker 3: I think most times people do know, and it's just

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Speaker 3: it's like oh if I yeah, if I, if I

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Speaker 3: bring up any of these you know, problems, he's gonna

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Speaker 3: for the like they're little eve and I don't want like.

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Speaker 3: I think a lot of times people put the person

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Speaker 3: leaving as worse than continuing to deal.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, nobody likes my sister in law and she's taking

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Speaker 5: it out on me.

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Speaker 3: Well, maybe you should be more likable. Did you think

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Speaker 3: about that?

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Speaker 4: Probably not doing a lot of probably not thinking.

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Speaker 5: I grew up pretty solidly middle class and my husband,

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Speaker 5: Jay forty eight male, grew up working poor. My father

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Speaker 5: spent twenty years in the military and then thirty years

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Speaker 5: with a union, and my mother was a stay at

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Speaker 5: home mom. Neither attended college. It was very important to

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Speaker 5: my parents that both my brother and I attended college.

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Speaker 5: By the way, this comes from sister in law help

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Speaker 5: and if you want to submit your own stories, go

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Speaker 5: to the r slashowcase storytime subreddit. So my brother mock

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Speaker 5: forty eight male, ended up attending a service academy, so

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Speaker 5: no tuition. I ended up with enough scholarship money to

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Speaker 5: make my own full ride at a private university okasemarty pants.

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Speaker 5: Our parents gifted us the money they would have put

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Speaker 5: towards our tuition upon.

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Speaker 4: Our respective graduations.

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Speaker 3: Nice.

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Speaker 5: My husband worked his butt off to get through undergrad

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Speaker 5: grad and an MBA WOW, all while working full time

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Speaker 5: and sometime supporting family members. He and I are coming

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Speaker 5: up on our eighteenth wedding anniversary this summer. He is

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Speaker 5: an executive and I worked at a nonprofit for five

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Speaker 5: years before becoming a stay at home mom. My life

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Speaker 5: revolves around our four children, though I still find plenty

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Speaker 5: of time for volunteer work. We are incredibly lucky. We

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Speaker 5: live a very charmed life, and we don't take it

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Speaker 5: for granted, at least I hope. My husband has a

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Speaker 5: large family. His mother sixty six, d one, younger brother,

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Speaker 5: Tim forty six, and sister Lee forty five live in

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Speaker 5: the same area we do, and we see them the

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Speaker 5: most frequently of his relatives. My parents and my brother

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Speaker 5: and his family live near us as well. We are

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Speaker 5: all very close and spend a lot of time together,

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Speaker 5: including vacations. My parents are retired. My brother spent twenty

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Speaker 5: years in the military and then went to a second,

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Speaker 5: well paying career, and his wife, Jess forty five, also

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Speaker 5: retired military, is a hospital administrator. Lee and her wife

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Speaker 5: Amy thirty nine, own a very successful salon day spa.

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Speaker 5: Tim is a deputy sheriff. He is also a widower

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Speaker 5: who remarried Emily forty four, four years ago, and navigating

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Speaker 5: her feelings is what I need help with. Emily came

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Speaker 5: into our lives suddenly. It had been about ten months

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Speaker 5: since Tim's wife had passed away. She showed up at

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Speaker 5: Lee's salon and said Tim sent her to get dawled up.

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Speaker 5: A couple of weeks after that, Tim started bringing her

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Speaker 5: to family events. I felt bad for Emily. No one

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Speaker 5: liked her and it was palpable. Five weeks later, she

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Speaker 5: announced she was pregnant at Tim's daughter's first communion in

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Speaker 5: front of his deceased wife's parents. She told everyone she

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Speaker 5: was on the pill and it must have failed, but

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Speaker 5: no one really believed her. Tim married her two weeks

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Speaker 5: later in Las Vegas. When they opened our gift, Tim

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Speaker 5: flipped out with happiness and her face fell. She looked

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Speaker 5: incredulous and said she thought we would get them a house.

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Speaker 3: Emily.

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Speaker 5: I'm starting to see why nobody likes Emily. We had

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Speaker 5: given them a trip to Hawaii for their honeymoon, since

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Speaker 5: Vegas was going to serve as their honeymoon too, and

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Speaker 5: we thought.

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Speaker 4: This would be a nice treat.

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Speaker 5: We would be taking care of our nieces and even

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Speaker 5: offered to take Emily's children or hire childcare. My husband said,

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Speaker 5: rather calmly, to his credit, that the trip could be

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Speaker 5: used towards a down payment instead. She clicked her tongue

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Speaker 5: and said, what a nice gift, a mortgage and no honeymoon.

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Speaker 5: Welcome to the family, Jesus.

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Speaker 4: Positive honeymoon and the house.

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Speaker 3: She's like who you can't even pay for a freaking

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Speaker 3: million dollar home for me. That's so rud I thought

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Speaker 3: this was a welcoming family.

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Speaker 4: That's not.

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Speaker 5: Before anyone could say anything else, my husband took my

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Speaker 5: hand and we left. Later, when they got back from Hawaii,

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Speaker 5: she apologized, saying that since we had bought town homes

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Speaker 5: for both of our parents, she assumed we'd gift them

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Speaker 5: a house too for our children, and you know, so

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Speaker 5: they can all be near the family in a nice, safe,

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Speaker 5: gated community. She has five children and Tim has three,

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Speaker 5: and then they have one together. It's been a passive

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Speaker 5: aggressive spiral since then, and she seems to target me

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Speaker 5: the most. Look, we have money. I have expensive bags

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Speaker 5: and shoes, and all those are totally unnecessary but fantastic

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Speaker 5: things that wealthy housewives can collect. Every time, it's oh,

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Speaker 5: it's chanel egg must be nice, but I'd rather my

331
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Speaker 5: children have nice clothes orange. She'll put her foot up

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Speaker 5: next to my foot and say eight thousand dollars or

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Speaker 5: nineteen ninety five. I can't tell the difference, can you,

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Speaker 5: And she'll laugh and laugh like it's an inside joke.

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Speaker 5: By the way, I do not own eight thousand dollars shoes.

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Speaker 5: The other women in my family have the same or

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Speaker 5: similar priced things. Mine seemed to anger Emily. The most

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Speaker 5: hosting holidays and celebrations rotates between myself, Jess, and Lee.

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00:16:19,600 --> 00:16:23,200
Speaker 5: Thanksgiving is my holiday. For the past four years, she

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Speaker 5: has done something to mess it up. Year one, she

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Speaker 5: accidentally broke a crystal punch bowl that had been a

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Speaker 5: gift to my great grandmother on.

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Speaker 4: Her wedding day.

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Speaker 3: No, I would be so sad, dude.

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Speaker 5: Great grandma's crystal. Oh my god, I'm gonna crystal punch

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Speaker 5: bowl your face.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, no, she would not be.

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Speaker 5: I was devastated, but I was a gracious hostess and

349
00:16:47,200 --> 00:16:50,920
Speaker 5: actually believed it was an accident. Later, my cousin said

350
00:16:50,960 --> 00:16:53,720
Speaker 5: the only way it could have broken that way was

351
00:16:53,840 --> 00:16:56,760
Speaker 5: for someone to pick it up and drop it straight down.

352
00:16:57,240 --> 00:17:00,160
Speaker 5: It was full of red drink and made a man. Yes,

353
00:17:00,840 --> 00:17:04,480
Speaker 5: ruining some linens too. Your two are powder room overflowed?

354
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Speaker 5: She admitted she had done that as a fun family

355
00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:10,360
Speaker 5: prank that had gone wrong. We always prank each other.

356
00:17:10,800 --> 00:17:14,880
Speaker 5: We do not how does a powder room overflow toilet?

357
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Speaker 3: The toilet overflow?

358
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Speaker 4: Powder room is just a half bath. It's a bathroom.

359
00:17:18,720 --> 00:17:21,399
Speaker 4: With no tub or shower. So it's yeah, so the

360
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Speaker 4: toilet calls that a bathroom.

361
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Speaker 3: That's a bath, that's a bathroom, half bath, that's a

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Speaker 3: small bathroom.

363
00:17:27,520 --> 00:17:28,200
Speaker 4: Powder room.

364
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Speaker 5: Year three, my gravy was so salty it was inedible.

365
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Speaker 5: I'm blaming it on her.

366
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Speaker 4: She kept asking, Oh, where's your giblet gravy? I just

367
00:17:39,960 --> 00:17:41,240
Speaker 4: love your gravy.

368
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Speaker 3: Love that is, Like, I don't have any proof but

369
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Speaker 3: my gravy. So it was definitely her fault.

370
00:17:48,280 --> 00:17:52,320
Speaker 4: Like third year, I ruined my own, let me have it.

371
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Speaker 4: This past year was the worst.

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Speaker 5: Amy pulled me aside and showed me a bottle of epicac.

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Speaker 5: She said she saw Emily pull it out of her

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Speaker 5: purse then pop it in real quick again when Amy

375
00:18:03,760 --> 00:18:07,600
Speaker 5: walked in. Amy took it. After Emily walked out. Yeah,

376
00:18:07,640 --> 00:18:09,800
Speaker 5: I was so panicked. She might have used it already,

377
00:18:09,880 --> 00:18:13,040
Speaker 5: but it was sealed. Amy and I later decided not

378
00:18:13,200 --> 00:18:15,840
Speaker 5: to say anything. Right then, what do you mean this

379
00:18:16,080 --> 00:18:19,040
Speaker 5: lady brought a bottle of epicac to poison us?

380
00:18:19,119 --> 00:18:21,320
Speaker 4: All for anyone who doesn't know what that is.

381
00:18:21,359 --> 00:18:23,640
Speaker 5: It's like when you like, it's like if you need

382
00:18:24,960 --> 00:18:28,119
Speaker 5: it's like a medical thing kind of like if the

383
00:18:28,280 --> 00:18:30,680
Speaker 5: kid like eats something that they're not supposed to eat,

384
00:18:30,760 --> 00:18:32,680
Speaker 5: or it's like, you need to get you make somebody

385
00:18:32,720 --> 00:18:35,720
Speaker 5: throw up right now. Later, Emily came out from where

386
00:18:35,760 --> 00:18:38,680
Speaker 5: the coats and purses were, looking flush, and she kept

387
00:18:38,720 --> 00:18:41,560
Speaker 5: looking at Amy and looking away. I told my husband

388
00:18:41,640 --> 00:18:44,400
Speaker 5: later that night, and he was furious and called his brother.

389
00:18:44,920 --> 00:18:47,720
Speaker 5: They had a terrible fight and have barely spoken. Since

390
00:18:49,400 --> 00:18:52,280
Speaker 5: why did you not put them on blast? This woman

391
00:18:52,359 --> 00:18:57,560
Speaker 5: needed to be put like, look, if everyone watch out,

392
00:18:57,960 --> 00:19:01,280
Speaker 5: your food might be tainted. Crazy here brought a bottle

393
00:19:01,359 --> 00:19:06,520
Speaker 5: of throw up juice. I know this is so long,

394
00:19:06,680 --> 00:19:08,920
Speaker 5: but there's one more thing that really puts this over

395
00:19:09,000 --> 00:19:11,560
Speaker 5: the top. My brother and Jess host a Super Bowl

396
00:19:11,680 --> 00:19:15,920
Speaker 5: Sunday party. They go all out. My brother not only

397
00:19:16,040 --> 00:19:19,240
Speaker 5: invites our family, his friends, and co workers, but also

398
00:19:19,359 --> 00:19:21,600
Speaker 5: work friends of just about everyone in our family.

399
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Speaker 1: That's a lot, dude.

400
00:19:23,280 --> 00:19:27,119
Speaker 5: Emily decided she wanted to host the Super Bowl, so

401
00:19:27,280 --> 00:19:29,960
Speaker 5: she sent out invites to everyone in the family. Everyone

402
00:19:30,040 --> 00:19:32,760
Speaker 5: said they would be attending Jess and Mark's party. She

403
00:19:32,840 --> 00:19:35,320
Speaker 5: sent out reminders stating that it was time for someone

404
00:19:35,400 --> 00:19:37,520
Speaker 5: else to be allowed to host an event and that

405
00:19:37,640 --> 00:19:39,920
Speaker 5: this year was their year to host the Super Bowl.

406
00:19:40,520 --> 00:19:42,920
Speaker 5: This was the fair thing to do, and she expected

407
00:19:42,960 --> 00:19:47,200
Speaker 5: everyone there with a snack at three pm byob Needless

408
00:19:47,240 --> 00:19:50,600
Speaker 5: to say, no one showed about an hour into the game.

409
00:19:50,760 --> 00:19:53,280
Speaker 5: Tim even showed up at my brothers to watch the game.

410
00:19:53,600 --> 00:19:56,560
Speaker 5: I kept expecting angry calls and texts, yet heard nothing.

411
00:19:57,080 --> 00:20:01,280
Speaker 5: The following Friday is when it all blew up. My

412
00:20:01,480 --> 00:20:06,040
Speaker 5: children attend pariacal school and I am a room mom,

413
00:20:06,320 --> 00:20:08,760
Speaker 5: so I attend Mass on Fridays with them. What the

414
00:20:08,840 --> 00:20:09,720
Speaker 5: heck is pariacal?

415
00:20:09,960 --> 00:20:13,800
Speaker 3: It's this parochial school, Catholic school, says sheel bell boom.

416
00:20:14,359 --> 00:20:17,480
Speaker 4: That's boring. I wanted something more fun.

417
00:20:18,440 --> 00:20:22,440
Speaker 5: While this is technically a public weekday mass, it is

418
00:20:22,520 --> 00:20:24,439
Speaker 5: a church attached to a school.

419
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Speaker 4: Oh, all of the children are there.

420
00:20:26,400 --> 00:20:29,320
Speaker 5: I was standing in the side aisle helping my class

421
00:20:29,400 --> 00:20:33,280
Speaker 5: when she walks up, grabs my arm and says we

422
00:20:33,400 --> 00:20:36,800
Speaker 5: need to talk. Everyone turned their heads as she didn't

423
00:20:36,840 --> 00:20:39,480
Speaker 5: bother to keep her voice down. Luckily, we were near

424
00:20:39,560 --> 00:20:43,119
Speaker 5: a side door and we got outside before she blew up.

425
00:20:43,600 --> 00:20:45,440
Speaker 5: She started screaming at me about.

426
00:20:45,200 --> 00:20:48,439
Speaker 4: How I are ruined her life. Am I jealousy of her?

427
00:20:48,920 --> 00:20:50,920
Speaker 4: Kept her for becoming a part of the family.

428
00:20:51,640 --> 00:20:54,120
Speaker 5: How I was just a pretty mean girl that never

429
00:20:54,280 --> 00:20:57,520
Speaker 5: left my sorority, but sooner or later my booty ist

430
00:20:57,600 --> 00:21:00,880
Speaker 5: Maximus would fall and my face would rot.

431
00:21:01,280 --> 00:21:03,119
Speaker 3: Is she casting a curse? On casting it?

432
00:21:03,440 --> 00:21:04,719
Speaker 2: Powerwored curs?

433
00:21:05,400 --> 00:21:08,320
Speaker 5: She further said how she was sorry that her hot

434
00:21:08,440 --> 00:21:11,200
Speaker 5: dogs and chips weren't good enough for me, and I

435
00:21:11,440 --> 00:21:14,800
Speaker 5: just couldn't miss out on my Super Bowl porterhouse was

436
00:21:14,880 --> 00:21:17,280
Speaker 5: then when one of our deacons walked out, and I

437
00:21:17,400 --> 00:21:21,560
Speaker 5: wished I could have evaporated. How ridiculous he told us

438
00:21:21,600 --> 00:21:25,480
Speaker 5: they could hear us inside. I started to apologize, and

439
00:21:25,600 --> 00:21:29,760
Speaker 5: she screamed, I don't even care, Pete. I told her

440
00:21:29,800 --> 00:21:32,160
Speaker 5: I was done and to not come to my children's

441
00:21:32,160 --> 00:21:35,359
Speaker 5: school ever again. Our deacon was already pulling out his

442
00:21:35,480 --> 00:21:38,520
Speaker 5: cell phone. He said to her to leave or he'd

443
00:21:38,600 --> 00:21:39,320
Speaker 5: call the police.

444
00:21:39,520 --> 00:21:42,360
Speaker 3: Actually kind of crazy to call the person who's supposed

445
00:21:42,400 --> 00:21:46,240
Speaker 3: to be there watching their kids a pedia file when

446
00:21:46,600 --> 00:21:48,240
Speaker 3: you don't have any kids at that school.

447
00:21:48,600 --> 00:21:49,439
Speaker 4: She yelled at him.

448
00:21:49,800 --> 00:21:53,160
Speaker 5: Her husband was the police, but she guessed he only

449
00:21:53,280 --> 00:21:56,720
Speaker 5: cared about women who married walking wallets like I did.

450
00:21:57,280 --> 00:21:59,760
Speaker 3: My husband is the police, but I guess surely, Like.

451
00:22:01,320 --> 00:22:04,240
Speaker 5: He started to laugh. I don't blame him. It was

452
00:22:04,440 --> 00:22:08,560
Speaker 5: so absurd. I tried not to, but I giggled as well.

453
00:22:08,880 --> 00:22:12,200
Speaker 5: I looked at her, shaking my head and said, Emily,

454
00:22:13,680 --> 00:22:16,480
Speaker 5: she slapped me across the face, spit at me, and

455
00:22:16,560 --> 00:22:17,040
Speaker 5: walked away.

456
00:22:17,400 --> 00:22:18,520
Speaker 4: I've never been so shocking.

457
00:22:19,359 --> 00:22:20,800
Speaker 2: Okay, but like, how did you say it? Were you?

458
00:22:20,960 --> 00:22:22,200
Speaker 3: Like? Emily?

459
00:22:23,320 --> 00:22:26,679
Speaker 4: And then she was like, a call the police.

460
00:22:27,560 --> 00:22:30,480
Speaker 5: I've never been so shocked. I've never been hit in

461
00:22:30,600 --> 00:22:32,640
Speaker 5: my life. She left the bruise on my arm where

462
00:22:32,680 --> 00:22:35,080
Speaker 5: she held onto it, and she also keyed my car

463
00:22:35,400 --> 00:22:38,720
Speaker 5: all the way up. Everyone wanted to call the police,

464
00:22:38,760 --> 00:22:41,320
Speaker 5: but I asked them not to. Just please let us

465
00:22:41,359 --> 00:22:45,520
Speaker 5: handle this family situation. I was so embarrassed. Girl called

466
00:22:45,520 --> 00:22:46,800
Speaker 5: the police, Call the police.

467
00:22:47,240 --> 00:22:48,639
Speaker 3: Oh my god, this is such a I feel like

468
00:22:48,680 --> 00:22:50,800
Speaker 3: this is a rich person thing, like, oh we con

469
00:22:51,200 --> 00:22:54,960
Speaker 3: let this, let this, you know, leave the family. It

470
00:22:55,160 --> 00:22:57,680
Speaker 3: must stay within the family. The police can't know.

471
00:22:58,600 --> 00:23:02,040
Speaker 5: His brother came over and appalled to us both profusely.

472
00:23:02,440 --> 00:23:04,680
Speaker 5: He said he would pay for my car. I wouldn't

473
00:23:04,680 --> 00:23:07,359
Speaker 5: hear any of it, though. Oh Pee, I swear to God,

474
00:23:07,359 --> 00:23:09,000
Speaker 5: if you keep being a little angel baby, I'm gonna

475
00:23:09,000 --> 00:23:13,720
Speaker 5: throw this. My husband looked tempted. The whole family knows

476
00:23:14,240 --> 00:23:17,760
Speaker 5: and has taken my side, which I think makes it worse. However,

477
00:23:17,880 --> 00:23:20,800
Speaker 5: I am grateful for the sentiment. The whole parish knows.

478
00:23:21,160 --> 00:23:24,080
Speaker 5: It was comforting Sunday to hear story after story of

479
00:23:24,160 --> 00:23:24,920
Speaker 5: crazy in laws.

480
00:23:25,240 --> 00:23:28,080
Speaker 4: But I want to fix this? How do I fix

481
00:23:28,200 --> 00:23:31,480
Speaker 4: this with her? And there are comments? How do I

482
00:23:31,640 --> 00:23:32,439
Speaker 4: fix this with her?

483
00:23:32,840 --> 00:23:36,120
Speaker 3: You freaking don't fix this. She hit you call the police.

484
00:23:36,800 --> 00:23:39,000
Speaker 3: She's crazy. You can't fix crazy.

485
00:23:39,640 --> 00:23:42,240
Speaker 5: I can fix it, answered comment number one.

486
00:23:43,160 --> 00:23:46,160
Speaker 4: How do I fix this with her? You can't?

487
00:23:47,080 --> 00:23:49,560
Speaker 5: And if I didn't know better, I'd swear we were related.

488
00:23:49,640 --> 00:23:53,320
Speaker 5: And Emily is our stepbrother's wife. You have to understand

489
00:23:53,440 --> 00:23:55,560
Speaker 5: that the thing that is wrong here isn't something within

490
00:23:55,640 --> 00:23:58,560
Speaker 5: your control, because there isn't anything wrong with anyone or

491
00:23:58,600 --> 00:23:59,879
Speaker 5: anything except Emily.

492
00:24:00,320 --> 00:24:01,200
Speaker 4: She's broken.

493
00:24:01,440 --> 00:24:04,960
Speaker 5: I guess it's as good a way, it's as good

494
00:24:04,960 --> 00:24:08,399
Speaker 5: a word as any. Her behavior isn't just vindictive and

495
00:24:08,480 --> 00:24:12,120
Speaker 5: jealousy fueled. There's a mental illness there. Mentally healthy adults

496
00:24:12,160 --> 00:24:15,240
Speaker 5: don't over salt gravy one year and bring syrup of

497
00:24:15,320 --> 00:24:19,400
Speaker 5: epicac the next. Mentally healthy adults don't launch violent confrontations

498
00:24:19,440 --> 00:24:21,439
Speaker 5: in front of the church. Their nieces and nephews are

499
00:24:21,440 --> 00:24:24,440
Speaker 5: attending class at and they don't strike their sister in law.

500
00:24:24,760 --> 00:24:27,680
Speaker 5: Mentally healthy adults don't keep someone's car. They don't shatter

501
00:24:27,800 --> 00:24:31,320
Speaker 5: heirloom punch bowls, or deliberately stop toilets. Okay, maybe the

502
00:24:31,400 --> 00:24:34,000
Speaker 5: last one if they're in college, but otherwise no. She

503
00:24:34,200 --> 00:24:36,240
Speaker 5: is mentally ill and you and your family need to

504
00:24:36,280 --> 00:24:40,120
Speaker 5: recognize that she is dangerous. There's nothing rational about this woman.

505
00:24:40,359 --> 00:24:42,720
Speaker 5: She doesn't think like you or I do. She doesn't

506
00:24:42,760 --> 00:24:44,960
Speaker 5: have the filter in place that says this far and

507
00:24:45,200 --> 00:24:49,520
Speaker 5: no more, and she is escalating. The scary thing is,

508
00:24:49,640 --> 00:24:53,560
Speaker 5: even if Tim gets smart and divorces her, this won't

509
00:24:53,840 --> 00:24:56,720
Speaker 5: end your family and you in particular, it seems have

510
00:24:56,840 --> 00:24:59,840
Speaker 5: become the focus of a disturbing level of rage.

511
00:25:00,280 --> 00:25:01,280
Speaker 4: She won't let that go.

512
00:25:01,800 --> 00:25:04,359
Speaker 5: She especially won't let that go if Tim divorces her

513
00:25:04,440 --> 00:25:08,160
Speaker 5: because of it. If anything shall escalate further, your one

514
00:25:08,240 --> 00:25:11,320
Speaker 5: mistake was in not filing a police report and seeking

515
00:25:11,400 --> 00:25:14,880
Speaker 5: a restraining order. That's what needs to happen. You aren't

516
00:25:14,880 --> 00:25:17,560
Speaker 5: dealing with someone who knows when to put on the brakes,

517
00:25:18,080 --> 00:25:20,560
Speaker 5: or who can be rationalized with and You have to

518
00:25:20,640 --> 00:25:23,040
Speaker 5: stop telling yourself that this is something your family can

519
00:25:23,160 --> 00:25:23,960
Speaker 5: manage on their own.

520
00:25:24,320 --> 00:25:24,840
Speaker 4: You can't.

521
00:25:25,280 --> 00:25:27,399
Speaker 5: This is a woman who will continue to escalate and

522
00:25:27,680 --> 00:25:30,720
Speaker 5: further violence. Isn't a question of if, but when. Who

523
00:25:30,840 --> 00:25:34,080
Speaker 5: will be her target? You, your husband, your children. Don't

524
00:25:34,160 --> 00:25:36,560
Speaker 5: kid yourself into thinking but she'd never do that. She

525
00:25:36,760 --> 00:25:39,679
Speaker 5: was willing to put poison into your food that your

526
00:25:39,760 --> 00:25:42,800
Speaker 5: children were going to consume. You are treating this situation

527
00:25:42,960 --> 00:25:47,320
Speaker 5: far too cavalierly as if it's just a minor family conflict.

528
00:25:47,520 --> 00:25:51,119
Speaker 5: It is not. Emily is basic instinct levels of crazy,

529
00:25:51,200 --> 00:25:53,480
Speaker 5: and the sooner you recognize that, the safer you will

530
00:25:53,560 --> 00:25:56,320
Speaker 5: all be. You can't fix this with her. The only

531
00:25:56,400 --> 00:25:59,480
Speaker 5: thing you can do is protect against her. No further

532
00:25:59,600 --> 00:26:03,240
Speaker 5: contact at all. She cannot come to family events anymore.

533
00:26:03,520 --> 00:26:06,440
Speaker 5: Your family can't pretend this is just a personality conflict.

534
00:26:06,680 --> 00:26:08,480
Speaker 5: They need to treat her as if she's a danger,

535
00:26:08,640 --> 00:26:11,879
Speaker 5: because she is, and not invite her around. If she

536
00:26:11,920 --> 00:26:14,040
Speaker 5: shows up anyway, she needs to be told to leave

537
00:26:14,400 --> 00:26:17,879
Speaker 5: is she resists, call the police. Stop treating her like

538
00:26:18,000 --> 00:26:21,040
Speaker 5: she's just the run of the mill, petty, jealous family member,

539
00:26:21,280 --> 00:26:24,479
Speaker 5: and start treating her like what she is a mentally

540
00:26:24,560 --> 00:26:27,840
Speaker 5: ill criminal. I promise you you will regret it otherwise.

541
00:26:28,240 --> 00:26:30,520
Speaker 5: This is an extremely serious situation and she is a

542
00:26:30,680 --> 00:26:31,960
Speaker 5: very real threat to your safety.

543
00:26:32,200 --> 00:26:34,080
Speaker 4: And there's an update, And that was a lot.

544
00:26:34,640 --> 00:26:35,960
Speaker 2: Yeah from that.

545
00:26:36,080 --> 00:26:39,760
Speaker 3: Comment, I kind of I mean, I understand what they're saying.

546
00:26:40,119 --> 00:26:44,600
Speaker 3: Unlike the she's a threat to their safety, it seems like,

547
00:26:44,680 --> 00:26:46,240
Speaker 3: I mean, we already know that she is because she

548
00:26:46,280 --> 00:26:49,120
Speaker 3: attacked Opie, So I feel like saying that she can't

549
00:26:49,200 --> 00:26:51,760
Speaker 3: come to any events anymore is pretty fair.

550
00:26:52,280 --> 00:26:55,000
Speaker 5: We have an update here, Let's see how far it escalates,

551
00:26:55,040 --> 00:26:57,399
Speaker 5: shall we? Gonna try to keep this short and to

552
00:26:57,480 --> 00:26:59,720
Speaker 5: the point. The other post was so long, and I

553
00:26:59,760 --> 00:27:02,800
Speaker 5: actually edited out three stories that made the first part

554
00:27:02,880 --> 00:27:06,560
Speaker 5: make sense, but it was very cathartic for me. Day

555
00:27:06,640 --> 00:27:10,359
Speaker 5: started with a family meeting at my husband's office, his mom, brother, sister,

556
00:27:10,480 --> 00:27:14,840
Speaker 5: and my brother. Tim honestly was relieved. He said he'd

557
00:27:14,880 --> 00:27:17,080
Speaker 5: been ready to divorce her since the Thanksgiving incident, but

558
00:27:17,200 --> 00:27:19,320
Speaker 5: he said he was so embarrassed for what he had

559
00:27:19,320 --> 00:27:22,840
Speaker 5: gotten himself and his three girls into. His girls are seven, nine,

560
00:27:22,880 --> 00:27:25,840
Speaker 5: and twelve. My husband and his brother and my brother

561
00:27:26,040 --> 00:27:29,359
Speaker 5: were on one end of the spectrum. They wanted full prosecution.

562
00:27:29,880 --> 00:27:32,360
Speaker 5: Amy and I were on the other let's just cut

563
00:27:32,400 --> 00:27:36,040
Speaker 5: her out. Everyone else was in between. Finally we decided

564
00:27:36,040 --> 00:27:38,480
Speaker 5: we would file a police report and get restraining orders,

565
00:27:38,840 --> 00:27:41,160
Speaker 5: get a few more cameras for the home. Tim would

566
00:27:41,160 --> 00:27:44,080
Speaker 5: file for divorce and custody of their shared daughter, Diane.

567
00:27:44,560 --> 00:27:46,239
Speaker 5: They would stay with us for a while, and then

568
00:27:46,320 --> 00:27:48,000
Speaker 5: the plan was for all of them to move to

569
00:27:48,080 --> 00:27:49,720
Speaker 5: a new home with Tim's mom.

570
00:27:50,280 --> 00:27:51,080
Speaker 4: We all split up.

571
00:27:51,440 --> 00:27:54,240
Speaker 5: My husband and I went to our attorney, then to

572
00:27:54,359 --> 00:27:57,000
Speaker 5: our church with plans to go to the police station after.

573
00:27:57,480 --> 00:28:01,480
Speaker 5: When the administrator at our diocese found out that vandalism

574
00:28:01,560 --> 00:28:05,119
Speaker 5: and harmful acts had taken place on church property and

575
00:28:05,440 --> 00:28:09,240
Speaker 5: authorities had not been called, he was furious, so the

576
00:28:09,320 --> 00:28:13,280
Speaker 5: authorities were called. Long story, a bit shorter report, filed

577
00:28:13,440 --> 00:28:14,800
Speaker 5: temporary protective orders.

578
00:28:14,920 --> 00:28:17,639
Speaker 4: Long day. All good, but not so fast.

579
00:28:18,359 --> 00:28:20,720
Speaker 5: Tim had gone home to get the girl's things and

580
00:28:20,800 --> 00:28:23,920
Speaker 5: to arrange a personal leave. Emily was there. She knew

581
00:28:23,960 --> 00:28:26,080
Speaker 5: something was up, and I guess it was pretty ugly.

582
00:28:26,640 --> 00:28:28,960
Speaker 5: She said a lot of horrible things about Beth and

583
00:28:29,040 --> 00:28:31,840
Speaker 5: Beth's children. Apparently she broke a lot of things and

584
00:28:31,960 --> 00:28:34,479
Speaker 5: took off after saying he could have had his divorce

585
00:28:34,760 --> 00:28:38,440
Speaker 5: and get this whole crazy family. Seriously, I could laugh

586
00:28:38,520 --> 00:28:41,200
Speaker 5: over this if it wasn't so heartbreaking. Tim went to

587
00:28:41,240 --> 00:28:43,640
Speaker 5: pull the girls from school. When he got back, his

588
00:28:43,720 --> 00:28:48,080
Speaker 5: German shepherd was gone, No, I'm filing her.

589
00:28:48,120 --> 00:28:48,400
Speaker 1: Please.

590
00:28:48,440 --> 00:28:51,200
Speaker 3: They should have freaking filed the police support way sooner.

591
00:28:51,440 --> 00:28:54,680
Speaker 5: My brother's wife had my children for the afternoon. My husband,

592
00:28:54,760 --> 00:28:56,760
Speaker 5: brother and I are just leaving our attorney for the

593
00:28:56,800 --> 00:28:58,800
Speaker 5: second time and we get a call from our community

594
00:28:58,880 --> 00:29:01,120
Speaker 5: security that there's been some vandalization.

595
00:29:01,840 --> 00:29:02,520
Speaker 4: My heart sank.

596
00:29:03,160 --> 00:29:06,200
Speaker 5: We get home and my bare root roses are torn

597
00:29:06,320 --> 00:29:08,520
Speaker 5: up and there is feces.

598
00:29:08,120 --> 00:29:09,360
Speaker 4: Smeared all over our door.

599
00:29:09,800 --> 00:29:12,840
Speaker 5: She should already be in police custody, dude, Honestly, this

600
00:29:13,000 --> 00:29:15,600
Speaker 5: is crazy. I didn't go into what was keyed into

601
00:29:15,640 --> 00:29:18,520
Speaker 5: my car, but she had keyed see you next Tuesday,

602
00:29:20,160 --> 00:29:26,040
Speaker 5: for you, Yes, for you, and then some slurs and

603
00:29:26,160 --> 00:29:29,520
Speaker 5: what looked like a wiener. Now I'm of Cuban heritage,

604
00:29:29,800 --> 00:29:33,960
Speaker 5: so the word she was looking for was incorrect, but

605
00:29:34,080 --> 00:29:36,520
Speaker 5: it was close enough to an insult. She wrote see

606
00:29:36,560 --> 00:29:39,960
Speaker 5: next Tuesday and all these other things in her feces

607
00:29:40,000 --> 00:29:40,520
Speaker 5: on my porch.

608
00:29:40,640 --> 00:29:42,600
Speaker 4: Oh my god, this is a woman who needs to

609
00:29:42,640 --> 00:29:43,600
Speaker 4: go to a padded cell.

610
00:29:43,920 --> 00:29:46,080
Speaker 5: I will say it was at this point I stopped

611
00:29:46,120 --> 00:29:48,840
Speaker 5: worrying about her feelings. My brother Mark called two of

612
00:29:48,960 --> 00:29:51,600
Speaker 5: his out of work vet buddies, who are now employed

613
00:29:51,760 --> 00:29:55,000
Speaker 5: as our security for the foreseeable future. Now we find

614
00:29:55,040 --> 00:29:59,240
Speaker 5: out that from Tim that Jack's the dog he is missing.

615
00:30:00,280 --> 00:30:03,280
Speaker 5: Calls him and says she will unlive herself and Jack's

616
00:30:03,320 --> 00:30:05,880
Speaker 5: if he doesn't bring Diane to her. Don't you feel

617
00:30:05,960 --> 00:30:08,200
Speaker 5: like the police It would have been great to the

618
00:30:08,240 --> 00:30:09,120
Speaker 5: police a little earlier.

619
00:30:09,120 --> 00:30:11,480
Speaker 3: Maybe we should have had the freaking.

620
00:30:11,520 --> 00:30:13,880
Speaker 4: Maybe she should have been in jail. Tim went to

621
00:30:14,000 --> 00:30:15,280
Speaker 4: meet her with the police.

622
00:30:15,840 --> 00:30:19,080
Speaker 5: Jacks has broken ribs and a broken leg, but also

623
00:30:19,560 --> 00:30:25,520
Speaker 5: bit her up pretty badly. Dude, jail prison yeh, vaporize.

624
00:30:25,680 --> 00:30:28,600
Speaker 5: Apparently she just started sobbing when they took her into custody.

625
00:30:29,200 --> 00:30:31,240
Speaker 5: We all end up at Lee and Amy's house and

626
00:30:31,400 --> 00:30:34,880
Speaker 5: this is so heartbreaking. Karen, Tim's twelve year old broke

627
00:30:35,040 --> 00:30:38,400
Speaker 5: down and said she was so happy Emily was gone.

628
00:30:38,720 --> 00:30:41,160
Speaker 5: She admitted that Emily would spank her and her sisters

629
00:30:41,240 --> 00:30:44,280
Speaker 5: and say mean things about their fat, frumpy mother, and

630
00:30:44,360 --> 00:30:46,520
Speaker 5: they should be grateful God gave them such a cool,

631
00:30:46,560 --> 00:30:47,440
Speaker 5: pretty step mom.

632
00:30:48,400 --> 00:30:52,560
Speaker 3: I just I'm so frustrated with OPPI dude, because you know,

633
00:30:52,640 --> 00:30:55,760
Speaker 3: if someone's attacking you, probably maybe you should think about

634
00:30:55,760 --> 00:30:59,840
Speaker 3: how they're treating the kids that they're around. You could

635
00:30:59,880 --> 00:31:01,960
Speaker 3: have you know, you could have stepped.

636
00:31:01,640 --> 00:31:04,920
Speaker 5: In there after all the children go to bed. Amy

637
00:31:05,000 --> 00:31:07,640
Speaker 5: told us all that she was a target of Emily two.

638
00:31:08,400 --> 00:31:11,600
Speaker 5: That's why she was suspicious of her. Emily was incredulous

639
00:31:11,680 --> 00:31:15,560
Speaker 5: that Amy could be a sapphic and look so feminine,

640
00:31:16,160 --> 00:31:18,800
Speaker 5: so she would always point out men and make crude

641
00:31:18,840 --> 00:31:21,520
Speaker 5: statements and even make dating profiles for her and try

642
00:31:21,600 --> 00:31:23,920
Speaker 5: to set her up on dates. She once held her

643
00:31:23,960 --> 00:31:26,920
Speaker 5: against the wall and kissed her so and when Amy

644
00:31:26,960 --> 00:31:28,880
Speaker 5: pushed her away, she said, see, I knew.

645
00:31:28,720 --> 00:31:29,400
Speaker 1: You weren't.

646
00:31:31,040 --> 00:31:31,560
Speaker 2: A god.

647
00:31:33,240 --> 00:31:35,160
Speaker 3: What she should be freaking in jail.

648
00:31:36,080 --> 00:31:42,120
Speaker 5: As for Emily's children, they are sixteen, fifteen, eleven nine, seven, sixteen,

649
00:31:42,320 --> 00:31:45,160
Speaker 5: fifteen and seven are with their fathers. Eleven nine are

650
00:31:45,240 --> 00:31:48,400
Speaker 5: with child welfare. Tim wants to get custody of them,

651
00:31:48,720 --> 00:31:50,880
Speaker 5: and their father has not been in the picture for

652
00:31:51,000 --> 00:31:53,120
Speaker 5: a very long time. By the way, you can listen

653
00:31:53,160 --> 00:31:55,960
Speaker 5: to full episodes with stories that are not quite this unhinged.

654
00:31:56,320 --> 00:31:59,360
Speaker 5: Just go to Spotify, Apple podcasts or iHeartRadio wherever you

655
00:31:59,440 --> 00:32:02,480
Speaker 5: listen in sir Okay story Time, and there you will

656
00:32:02,520 --> 00:32:05,200
Speaker 5: find the complete archive of our show.

657
00:32:05,560 --> 00:32:07,800
Speaker 3: Yeah, this woman needs to be in jail. I'm just

658
00:32:07,880 --> 00:32:09,560
Speaker 3: like shocked that all of this is coming out under

659
00:32:09,560 --> 00:32:11,680
Speaker 3: the jail. Dude, I'm shocked that all of this is

660
00:32:11,760 --> 00:32:12,480
Speaker 3: coming out now.

661
00:32:13,120 --> 00:32:15,959
Speaker 5: There is a lot more detail, but I'm just mentally

662
00:32:16,120 --> 00:32:19,520
Speaker 5: and emotionally exhausted. We are taking all the children away

663
00:32:19,520 --> 00:32:22,880
Speaker 5: for the weekend therapy for everyone. I'm just hoping we

664
00:32:22,920 --> 00:32:26,120
Speaker 5: can get this all resolved as smoothly as possible. His

665
00:32:26,200 --> 00:32:30,360
Speaker 5: hands down, the most insane, most traumatic, most honestly asinine

666
00:32:30,440 --> 00:32:33,360
Speaker 5: thing I've ever gone through, and it's still ongoing. I'm

667
00:32:33,400 --> 00:32:35,280
Speaker 5: grateful I've been able to talk about it here, and

668
00:32:35,360 --> 00:32:37,440
Speaker 5: I hope I can keep updating because it is really

669
00:32:37,520 --> 00:32:38,000
Speaker 5: helpful for.

670
00:32:38,040 --> 00:32:42,560
Speaker 4: Me to hear outside perspective. And that is the end

671
00:32:43,720 --> 00:32:44,400
Speaker 4: of that story.

672
00:32:44,600 --> 00:32:47,480
Speaker 3: Just like when people show you who they are, believe

673
00:32:47,520 --> 00:32:51,440
Speaker 3: them and observes. You know, if they're attacking, you think,

674
00:32:51,520 --> 00:32:53,960
Speaker 3: maybe they're hurting other people in my life. Maybe I

675
00:32:54,000 --> 00:32:57,520
Speaker 3: should go tell everyone, Like It's just like the multiple

676
00:32:57,600 --> 00:33:03,040
Speaker 3: moments where Opie was Oh made aware of crazy things

677
00:33:03,160 --> 00:33:07,160
Speaker 3: that Emily did and didn't do anything true at least

678
00:33:07,200 --> 00:33:08,560
Speaker 3: did something after the fact.

679
00:33:08,760 --> 00:33:10,960
Speaker 5: Once you know, once you are told how someone is,

680
00:33:11,120 --> 00:33:14,520
Speaker 5: you should not even told. Much you are shown how

681
00:33:14,600 --> 00:33:18,320
Speaker 5: somebody is, you should most certainly not just allow them

682
00:33:18,400 --> 00:33:19,760
Speaker 5: to continue being that way.

683
00:33:21,880 --> 00:33:23,600
Speaker 1: Sam. Here, we're gonna get back to the stories. But

684
00:33:23,760 --> 00:33:25,360
Speaker 1: here's three of its bads from our sponsors.

685
00:33:26,080 --> 00:33:29,080
Speaker 2: I'm leaving my fiance and his mother behind despite knowing

686
00:33:29,160 --> 00:33:30,360
Speaker 2: they can't afford the rent.

687
00:33:30,800 --> 00:33:34,080
Speaker 1: Put them on the streets and let them fend for themselves.

688
00:33:34,280 --> 00:33:37,680
Speaker 1: They will survive. Then learn some things about nature.

689
00:33:37,920 --> 00:33:40,200
Speaker 2: Throw Away because my fancee follows my man me female

690
00:33:40,240 --> 00:33:43,200
Speaker 2: twenty nine and my ex question mark fiance male twenty

691
00:33:43,240 --> 00:33:45,400
Speaker 2: seven have been living together for one and a half years.

692
00:33:45,520 --> 00:33:48,120
Speaker 2: My fiance got his undergraduate degree, worked for a couple

693
00:33:48,120 --> 00:33:50,280
Speaker 2: of years, and decided to get an MBA, which is

694
00:33:50,360 --> 00:33:52,480
Speaker 2: how we ended up living in our city. By the way,

695
00:33:52,560 --> 00:33:54,760
Speaker 2: this comes from throw Away move Away one twenty nine

696
00:33:54,760 --> 00:33:56,120
Speaker 2: and if you want to submit your own stories, go

697
00:33:56,200 --> 00:33:57,840
Speaker 2: to the r slash Okay storytime s up read it.

698
00:33:57,960 --> 00:34:00,520
Speaker 2: So we moved in together after he finished his MBA program.

699
00:34:00,680 --> 00:34:02,760
Speaker 2: My fiance is from the Midwest and his mom has

700
00:34:02,880 --> 00:34:05,600
Speaker 2: always wanted him to move back to the Midwest. When

701
00:34:05,680 --> 00:34:08,400
Speaker 2: he told her that he was staying here, she was heartbroken.

702
00:34:08,800 --> 00:34:10,480
Speaker 2: I went to college and got my degree in a

703
00:34:10,600 --> 00:34:13,440
Speaker 2: stem field. After I graduated, I got a job with

704
00:34:13,560 --> 00:34:15,800
Speaker 2: my current company and moved to the city where we

705
00:34:15,880 --> 00:34:20,239
Speaker 2: currently live. It's a big international city with multiple locations

706
00:34:20,640 --> 00:34:23,360
Speaker 2: in the US and internationally. I love my job, I

707
00:34:23,480 --> 00:34:25,400
Speaker 2: love the company I work for, and the pay is

708
00:34:25,719 --> 00:34:28,680
Speaker 2: pretty good all in all, a pretty good deal. During

709
00:34:28,719 --> 00:34:30,680
Speaker 2: the VID, my office shut down and we all went

710
00:34:30,800 --> 00:34:33,560
Speaker 2: work from home. After the VID, they decided not to

711
00:34:33,640 --> 00:34:36,120
Speaker 2: reopen the office. So I've been one hundred percent work

712
00:34:36,160 --> 00:34:38,759
Speaker 2: from home since early twenty twenty, and that sounds.

713
00:34:38,560 --> 00:34:41,239
Speaker 1: Like a win. Not bad, not bad, not bad.

714
00:34:41,480 --> 00:34:45,480
Speaker 2: I currently make considerably more than him, all right, flex

715
00:34:45,560 --> 00:34:48,560
Speaker 2: on him, mainly because I've been working for seven years

716
00:34:48,680 --> 00:34:50,680
Speaker 2: and I'm in tech. I had been living by myself

717
00:34:50,719 --> 00:34:53,200
Speaker 2: in a one bedroom apartment and just had an office

718
00:34:53,200 --> 00:34:55,040
Speaker 2: set up in the living room since it was just me.

719
00:34:55,400 --> 00:34:57,360
Speaker 2: When we moved in together, we decided to get a

720
00:34:57,400 --> 00:34:59,480
Speaker 2: two bedroom apartment so I could use the extra room

721
00:34:59,520 --> 00:35:01,960
Speaker 2: as an office. Because of this, I was paying two

722
00:35:02,040 --> 00:35:04,120
Speaker 2: thirds of the rent. He was paying a one third

723
00:35:04,239 --> 00:35:06,600
Speaker 2: because he's but we split everything else fifty to fifty.

724
00:35:06,760 --> 00:35:10,359
Speaker 2: So the problem started this past May. My fiance's mom

725
00:35:10,440 --> 00:35:12,680
Speaker 2: told him that she wanted to move to our city

726
00:35:12,760 --> 00:35:14,279
Speaker 2: to be closer to me. She asked if she could

727
00:35:14,320 --> 00:35:16,480
Speaker 2: stay with us while she looked for a job and

728
00:35:16,600 --> 00:35:19,239
Speaker 2: got settled. She's a teacher, so she figured she'd be

729
00:35:19,280 --> 00:35:21,880
Speaker 2: able to get a teaching job pretty quickly. Because of that,

730
00:35:22,040 --> 00:35:24,000
Speaker 2: I didn't really mind her staying with us, as I

731
00:35:24,080 --> 00:35:26,040
Speaker 2: figured it would be just for a couple of months.

732
00:35:26,120 --> 00:35:28,080
Speaker 2: Over the summer. Since I thought it would be only

733
00:35:28,120 --> 00:35:30,440
Speaker 2: for a couple of months, I moved my office into

734
00:35:30,520 --> 00:35:32,800
Speaker 2: a corner of our bedroom and my fiance bought a

735
00:35:32,840 --> 00:35:35,680
Speaker 2: bed for the second bedroom. The problem is she never

736
00:35:35,840 --> 00:35:39,440
Speaker 2: applied for any teaching positions and has been living with

737
00:35:39,680 --> 00:35:42,640
Speaker 2: us for six months now. Opie says she and I

738
00:35:42,760 --> 00:35:45,040
Speaker 2: have been really struggling with each other since she moved in.

739
00:35:45,520 --> 00:35:48,000
Speaker 2: I can't make her understand that I work full time.

740
00:35:48,280 --> 00:35:50,879
Speaker 2: She constantly interrupted me on working, which is bad enough,

741
00:35:51,120 --> 00:35:54,480
Speaker 2: but she interrupts me when I'm on team calls. She

742
00:35:54,680 --> 00:35:56,800
Speaker 2: asked me to take her places because she doesn't like

743
00:35:56,920 --> 00:35:59,759
Speaker 2: to drive in our city. She has pretty outdated views

744
00:35:59,800 --> 00:36:02,600
Speaker 2: of rolls and is constantly giving me a hard time

745
00:36:02,960 --> 00:36:05,080
Speaker 2: for not doing more around the house and making my

746
00:36:05,239 --> 00:36:07,760
Speaker 2: fiance help with chores, do his own laundry, et cetera.

747
00:36:07,920 --> 00:36:10,680
Speaker 2: The constant criticism and insults are really wearing me down,

748
00:36:10,760 --> 00:36:13,160
Speaker 2: and I hate having my office shoved in the corner

749
00:36:13,239 --> 00:36:15,880
Speaker 2: of a bedroom. Back in September, I told my fiance,

750
00:36:16,120 --> 00:36:17,640
Speaker 2: since it looks like his mom is going to stay

751
00:36:17,640 --> 00:36:20,600
Speaker 2: a while, we should split the rent three ways. He

752
00:36:20,719 --> 00:36:23,200
Speaker 2: told me she can't afford that since she has chosen

753
00:36:23,320 --> 00:36:25,920
Speaker 2: to conserve money until she has a job. I told

754
00:36:26,000 --> 00:36:28,640
Speaker 2: him I wasn't happy paying for it for a bedroom

755
00:36:28,800 --> 00:36:29,680
Speaker 2: that I can't use.

756
00:36:29,880 --> 00:36:32,640
Speaker 1: Oh, he's paying for it, then he should pick up

757
00:36:32,640 --> 00:36:33,080
Speaker 1: the slack.

758
00:36:33,560 --> 00:36:37,279
Speaker 2: Absolutely so Finally he said we could do fifty to

759
00:36:37,280 --> 00:36:39,800
Speaker 2: fifty split. I could afford to pay the extra, but

760
00:36:39,880 --> 00:36:43,480
Speaker 2: I hate the idea of funding her lifestyle. Yeah, because

761
00:36:43,480 --> 00:36:46,239
Speaker 2: it's not just the money, it's her overstepping every time

762
00:36:46,320 --> 00:36:49,040
Speaker 2: I complain about her or the situation. He says he agrees,

763
00:36:49,280 --> 00:36:51,439
Speaker 2: but doesn't know what to do because he can't punt

764
00:36:51,480 --> 00:36:51,759
Speaker 2: out his.

765
00:36:51,840 --> 00:36:54,560
Speaker 1: Mom because he's a little mama's boy. They can't even

766
00:36:54,600 --> 00:36:55,480
Speaker 1: fool his own clothes.

767
00:36:55,600 --> 00:36:58,680
Speaker 2: May Mane just me too, Manji to meet away making it.

768
00:36:58,840 --> 00:37:04,200
Speaker 1: Because boundary grow up. Also again, I think like every

769
00:37:04,320 --> 00:37:07,000
Speaker 1: time that we've seen a guy that doesn't fold his clothes,

770
00:37:07,480 --> 00:37:09,600
Speaker 1: that is the first red flag of many.

771
00:37:10,000 --> 00:37:14,080
Speaker 2: Right now we need to swap boundaries for laundries.

772
00:37:14,120 --> 00:37:16,680
Speaker 1: Holding out your boundaries and folding up your laundry.

773
00:37:16,760 --> 00:37:18,720
Speaker 2: He won't talk to her about the way she treats

774
00:37:18,800 --> 00:37:21,680
Speaker 2: me or how she behaves. When I ask about what

775
00:37:21,760 --> 00:37:24,560
Speaker 2: his long term plan is, he always says, I don't know.

776
00:37:24,760 --> 00:37:27,759
Speaker 1: Dude, He's a piece of laundry flowing in the wind.

777
00:37:28,000 --> 00:37:30,279
Speaker 2: I've thought about giving him an ultimatum to tell her

778
00:37:30,360 --> 00:37:32,719
Speaker 2: that she has to leave, but I think he'd just

779
00:37:32,880 --> 00:37:35,520
Speaker 2: end up presenting me for essentially putting his mom on

780
00:37:35,640 --> 00:37:38,440
Speaker 2: the street. So one of my girlfriends is losing her

781
00:37:38,520 --> 00:37:41,560
Speaker 2: roommate at the end of February. Our lease renews June. First,

782
00:37:41,800 --> 00:37:45,240
Speaker 2: I'm very strongly considering moving out of our current apartment

783
00:37:45,640 --> 00:37:46,799
Speaker 2: and moving in with her.

784
00:37:46,960 --> 00:37:49,279
Speaker 1: I mean, it's gotten to that point. I think it

785
00:37:49,440 --> 00:37:53,080
Speaker 1: has OPI has let her husband know, like, hey, I

786
00:37:53,200 --> 00:37:57,000
Speaker 1: can't live in these conditions anymore. I got work. It's

787
00:37:57,160 --> 00:38:00,600
Speaker 1: unclear whether she's had like the full conversation, but she's

788
00:38:00,640 --> 00:38:02,560
Speaker 1: definitely brought up to the husband a bunch of times.

789
00:38:02,680 --> 00:38:04,920
Speaker 1: Husband has not made a plan, so I feel like,

790
00:38:05,040 --> 00:38:07,320
Speaker 1: ohps to make a plan. And I can't imagine that

791
00:38:07,440 --> 00:38:09,840
Speaker 1: this moving out doesn't damage the relationship. You know.

792
00:38:10,040 --> 00:38:12,399
Speaker 2: It's not even necessarily an ultimatum, which is kind of nice.

793
00:38:12,719 --> 00:38:15,560
Speaker 2: It's like, hey, look, I just need my space and

794
00:38:15,640 --> 00:38:17,479
Speaker 2: everything else. I've was paying two thirds of the rent

795
00:38:17,480 --> 00:38:19,960
Speaker 2: all this stuff. I just need to get my own space.

796
00:38:20,040 --> 00:38:22,239
Speaker 2: If you can't even talk to your.

797
00:38:22,200 --> 00:38:24,320
Speaker 1: Mom, I feel like this is more of a decision

798
00:38:24,520 --> 00:38:26,600
Speaker 1: just for Ope to be able to work and to

799
00:38:26,640 --> 00:38:28,720
Speaker 1: be able to think. But I think in this space

800
00:38:29,280 --> 00:38:31,960
Speaker 1: she might realize this fiance might not need to turn

801
00:38:32,000 --> 00:38:32,560
Speaker 1: into a husband.

802
00:38:32,640 --> 00:38:32,719
Speaker 3: Oh.

803
00:38:32,760 --> 00:38:34,440
Speaker 2: He says, I can afford to pay my part of

804
00:38:34,480 --> 00:38:37,640
Speaker 2: the rent on our current apartment and also half the

805
00:38:37,680 --> 00:38:40,480
Speaker 2: rent at my friend's apartment. It's not ideal, but I'm

806
00:38:40,520 --> 00:38:43,200
Speaker 2: not a big spender, so it is doable. The issue

807
00:38:43,400 --> 00:38:45,439
Speaker 2: is if he and his mom aren't able to pay

808
00:38:45,520 --> 00:38:48,719
Speaker 2: a third of the rent each, there's no way they

809
00:38:48,760 --> 00:38:51,960
Speaker 2: could cover the whole thing on their own. But I

810
00:38:52,120 --> 00:38:54,440
Speaker 2: can't live like this anymore, so I'm pretty sure this

811
00:38:54,640 --> 00:38:56,640
Speaker 2: is what I'll do. But I wanted to see if

812
00:38:56,640 --> 00:38:59,000
Speaker 2: people thought I'd be the a hole for leaving them

813
00:38:59,120 --> 00:39:01,800
Speaker 2: like this. We have I have an update, But Sam,

814
00:39:02,080 --> 00:39:04,320
Speaker 2: what is the verdict? Is Opie the ahole for doing this?

815
00:39:04,560 --> 00:39:07,400
Speaker 1: I don't think you go straight to divorce or pre

816
00:39:07,560 --> 00:39:10,919
Speaker 1: force rather, but I do think you take this move.

817
00:39:11,320 --> 00:39:15,160
Speaker 1: I think pumping the brakes for sure on whatever wedding

818
00:39:15,360 --> 00:39:19,680
Speaker 1: is impending, and letting Ope figure out his mom's situation,

819
00:39:20,360 --> 00:39:23,800
Speaker 1: maybe on his own, because it seems like he's just

820
00:39:23,840 --> 00:39:26,279
Speaker 1: been kicking down the can and he's just been like,

821
00:39:26,360 --> 00:39:28,160
Speaker 1: oh Ope will cover it? Do you want to be

822
00:39:28,239 --> 00:39:29,200
Speaker 1: in a relationship like that?

823
00:39:29,440 --> 00:39:32,080
Speaker 2: And I think, like, Op, look, he kind of has

824
00:39:32,239 --> 00:39:35,680
Speaker 2: to do something like this to make him see like

825
00:39:36,160 --> 00:39:38,560
Speaker 2: this is really affecting me, Like I literally want to

826
00:39:38,719 --> 00:39:42,200
Speaker 2: move out to have my space back because of this situation.

827
00:39:42,520 --> 00:39:45,480
Speaker 1: I'm thinking, Nah, like don't marry, don't marry, hold off

828
00:39:45,520 --> 00:39:46,239
Speaker 1: the wedding, and.

829
00:39:46,440 --> 00:39:48,520
Speaker 2: Also, Op, he's not the ahle for doing this. I

830
00:39:48,600 --> 00:39:51,880
Speaker 2: think kind of an elegant solution. Well, we have an update.

831
00:39:52,080 --> 00:39:54,320
Speaker 2: I started off trying to apply to everyone's comments and

832
00:39:54,400 --> 00:39:57,000
Speaker 2: keep up, and honestly I got overwhelmed. First off, I

833
00:39:57,040 --> 00:39:59,200
Speaker 2: want to thank everyone for their feedback and comments, even

834
00:39:59,200 --> 00:40:01,720
Speaker 2: the ones that were kind of a bit harsh. Actually,

835
00:40:02,000 --> 00:40:04,600
Speaker 2: probably especially the ones that were kind of harsh. I

836
00:40:04,719 --> 00:40:07,320
Speaker 2: really needed some tough love to make me realize that

837
00:40:07,520 --> 00:40:11,200
Speaker 2: I was letting my soon to be X and his

838
00:40:11,360 --> 00:40:14,319
Speaker 2: mom take advantage of me. The more comments I read,

839
00:40:14,520 --> 00:40:17,200
Speaker 2: the more pissed off I got. Honestly, I think I'm

840
00:40:17,239 --> 00:40:19,880
Speaker 2: more pissed at myself for allowing this to happen and

841
00:40:20,040 --> 00:40:23,640
Speaker 2: not advocating for myself more. Which it's tough, but hey,

842
00:40:23,880 --> 00:40:25,600
Speaker 2: you know you've reached that point. You're like, okay, let

843
00:40:25,640 --> 00:40:28,000
Speaker 2: me advocate for myself and recognize you know what's fair

844
00:40:28,040 --> 00:40:30,120
Speaker 2: for you. This past weekend, I got my soon to

845
00:40:30,200 --> 00:40:33,080
Speaker 2: be X alone so we could talk, which was actually

846
00:40:33,200 --> 00:40:35,760
Speaker 2: harder than it should have been because his mom always

847
00:40:35,880 --> 00:40:38,120
Speaker 2: tries to tag along when we do anything.

848
00:40:38,360 --> 00:40:41,000
Speaker 1: You don't have a relationship anymore. You have a throupple

849
00:40:41,080 --> 00:40:41,560
Speaker 1: with your mom.

850
00:40:41,840 --> 00:40:44,080
Speaker 2: That is, unfortunately true.

851
00:40:44,280 --> 00:40:48,720
Speaker 1: And again everyone was getting on my case about saying,

852
00:40:48,880 --> 00:40:51,920
Speaker 1: Mama wants a piece, but do you see what's happening now?

853
00:40:52,080 --> 00:40:53,480
Speaker 1: Mama is getting her piece.

854
00:40:53,640 --> 00:40:54,640
Speaker 4: Mama wants a whole cake.

855
00:40:54,760 --> 00:40:56,719
Speaker 1: Mama wants a whole cake. She is moving in on

856
00:40:56,840 --> 00:41:00,120
Speaker 1: this relationship, and not just in the house, but on

857
00:41:00,200 --> 00:41:03,920
Speaker 1: this relationship to you gotta get that fiending dog away

858
00:41:04,000 --> 00:41:05,040
Speaker 1: from your relationship.

859
00:41:05,200 --> 00:41:07,840
Speaker 2: I've been going through everyone's comments and the personal messages

860
00:41:07,880 --> 00:41:10,400
Speaker 2: people said that really helped me decide on how I

861
00:41:10,440 --> 00:41:12,840
Speaker 2: should approach this and also brought up a lot of

862
00:41:12,880 --> 00:41:15,799
Speaker 2: good questions I should have thought of myself. But back

863
00:41:15,840 --> 00:41:18,120
Speaker 2: to the discussion with my ex, I wanted to give

864
00:41:18,200 --> 00:41:22,439
Speaker 2: him one more chance to pick us over his mom.

865
00:41:22,640 --> 00:41:25,240
Speaker 2: Not because I thought he would, but because I wanted

866
00:41:25,280 --> 00:41:28,279
Speaker 2: to be able to tell myself. I gave him the opportunity.

867
00:41:28,480 --> 00:41:31,120
Speaker 1: I like that it's like not an ultimatum, but it

868
00:41:31,280 --> 00:41:33,160
Speaker 1: is an ultimatum.

869
00:41:33,320 --> 00:41:36,120
Speaker 2: I explained again how unhappy I am with the situation,

870
00:41:36,320 --> 00:41:38,759
Speaker 2: how it's affecting my work because of her constant interruptions,

871
00:41:39,000 --> 00:41:41,560
Speaker 2: and how unhappy and uncomfortable I am being forced to

872
00:41:41,640 --> 00:41:43,560
Speaker 2: work out of a corner in our bedroom. And I

873
00:41:43,680 --> 00:41:45,960
Speaker 2: reminded him that until a few months ago, I was

874
00:41:46,040 --> 00:41:48,040
Speaker 2: paying the majority of the rent, and that I make

875
00:41:48,160 --> 00:41:49,120
Speaker 2: so much more money than.

876
00:41:49,120 --> 00:41:52,080
Speaker 1: Him paying dude, slap it down, that.

877
00:41:52,160 --> 00:41:56,120
Speaker 2: It's really my salary keeping us afloat. I also brought

878
00:41:56,200 --> 00:41:58,759
Speaker 2: up again the way she treats me and talks to me,

879
00:41:59,239 --> 00:42:02,560
Speaker 2: He replied, the same way he always has been. He

880
00:42:02,680 --> 00:42:05,560
Speaker 2: agrees it's not right how she acts, and that it's

881
00:42:05,600 --> 00:42:08,160
Speaker 2: really uncomfortable for all of us. What the f I

882
00:42:08,239 --> 00:42:11,320
Speaker 2: don't care if she's uncomfortable. Previously I would have dropped

883
00:42:11,320 --> 00:42:13,960
Speaker 2: it there, but this time I told him how angry

884
00:42:14,320 --> 00:42:16,680
Speaker 2: and disappointed I was that he let me pay for

885
00:42:16,760 --> 00:42:19,120
Speaker 2: two thirds of the rent when she moved in, and

886
00:42:19,239 --> 00:42:22,080
Speaker 2: how unfair it was that I'm still paying half when

887
00:42:22,120 --> 00:42:24,919
Speaker 2: there are three people living there and she's the only

888
00:42:25,040 --> 00:42:27,800
Speaker 2: one with her own vetter. That is a good point.

889
00:42:28,000 --> 00:42:30,080
Speaker 2: Opie wanted to be like, hey, there's three people. That's

890
00:42:30,080 --> 00:42:32,160
Speaker 2: split it three ways. So Opie's like, oh, I want

891
00:42:32,200 --> 00:42:35,279
Speaker 2: to play, pay thirty three percent, and then Fiance's like, no,

892
00:42:35,400 --> 00:42:38,200
Speaker 2: pay fifty percent. Still, we could literally track the percentages

893
00:42:38,760 --> 00:42:41,279
Speaker 2: she's literally been giving way percentage more. I got the

894
00:42:41,360 --> 00:42:44,440
Speaker 2: same story. She has to conserve money and she doesn't

895
00:42:44,480 --> 00:42:48,239
Speaker 2: have any income currently, which brought up the question of

896
00:42:48,440 --> 00:42:51,560
Speaker 2: where all her stuff went when she moved and what

897
00:42:51,880 --> 00:42:57,480
Speaker 2: money she uses for incidentals. So evidently when she got divorced,

898
00:42:57,600 --> 00:43:00,640
Speaker 2: she asked for the divorce after my ex went to college.

899
00:43:00,719 --> 00:43:04,080
Speaker 2: It doesn't sound like her husband slash. My ex's dad

900
00:43:04,360 --> 00:43:06,600
Speaker 2: wanted the divorce. His dad bought her out of the

901
00:43:06,680 --> 00:43:10,000
Speaker 2: equity in their house, and my ex fiance didn't have

902
00:43:10,160 --> 00:43:13,719
Speaker 2: any idea how much that was or how much of

903
00:43:13,800 --> 00:43:16,440
Speaker 2: it is left. But until she moved here, she was

904
00:43:16,480 --> 00:43:18,520
Speaker 2: working full time as a teacher and living in a

905
00:43:18,560 --> 00:43:21,480
Speaker 2: small apartment, so she should not have had to tap

906
00:43:21,640 --> 00:43:23,439
Speaker 2: into the divorce settlement money very much.

907
00:43:23,680 --> 00:43:27,120
Speaker 1: Where's the money? You should be using that money to

908
00:43:27,400 --> 00:43:30,520
Speaker 1: pay your fair share instead of just mouching now.

909
00:43:30,640 --> 00:43:33,200
Speaker 2: Other than that, X didn't have much insight into her

910
00:43:33,239 --> 00:43:36,000
Speaker 2: finances other than what she told him that she has

911
00:43:36,120 --> 00:43:38,480
Speaker 2: to conserve money. I told him straight up that I'm

912
00:43:38,520 --> 00:43:41,239
Speaker 2: moving out before the end of the month and from

913
00:43:41,320 --> 00:43:44,759
Speaker 2: now on, I am only paying twenty five percent. As

914
00:43:44,800 --> 00:43:47,759
Speaker 2: some commenters pointed out, she has a whole bedroom while

915
00:43:47,840 --> 00:43:50,000
Speaker 2: I have to share with a man child, so she

916
00:43:50,080 --> 00:43:51,680
Speaker 2: should have to pay twice as much.

917
00:43:52,080 --> 00:43:54,799
Speaker 1: ACIOPI turned, she's saying man child, she's getting out.

918
00:43:55,200 --> 00:43:57,560
Speaker 2: My question is why are we still at twenty five percent.

919
00:43:57,680 --> 00:44:00,239
Speaker 2: I guess she's like, oh, like I agree to do

920
00:44:00,320 --> 00:44:02,479
Speaker 2: the lease, and there's like that good faith or whatever.

921
00:44:02,520 --> 00:44:05,399
Speaker 2: But it's like, dude, he did this to himself. Pays

922
00:44:05,480 --> 00:44:07,800
Speaker 2: zero percent until you're willing to actually work on this,

923
00:44:08,239 --> 00:44:10,160
Speaker 2: and I'll gladly come back if we can get her

924
00:44:10,160 --> 00:44:13,120
Speaker 2: out or like do something. I'm paying zero percent a living.

925
00:44:12,960 --> 00:44:14,920
Speaker 1: With my friend, Yeah, I mean is it? This is

926
00:44:15,000 --> 00:44:17,040
Speaker 1: twenty five percent? Would be when they would even renew

927
00:44:17,160 --> 00:44:17,759
Speaker 1: that she would be on.

928
00:44:17,760 --> 00:44:20,399
Speaker 2: The lease for Basically, the situation is like so OPI

929
00:44:20,520 --> 00:44:23,359
Speaker 2: moves in with her friend. She keeps paying twenty five

930
00:44:23,400 --> 00:44:26,800
Speaker 2: percent towards their old department. I'm like, pay zero percent.

931
00:44:27,280 --> 00:44:28,960
Speaker 1: Let them figure it out. He get a new apartment

932
00:44:29,000 --> 00:44:31,160
Speaker 1: that's a lot cheaper. Let him get a one bedroom.

933
00:44:31,400 --> 00:44:34,239
Speaker 2: Yes, he created this problem, so he's gonna have to

934
00:44:34,280 --> 00:44:34,600
Speaker 2: solve it.

935
00:44:34,719 --> 00:44:36,840
Speaker 1: And then maybe at once he cleans it up, he

936
00:44:36,920 --> 00:44:40,840
Speaker 1: will become the man that is deserving of a relationship

937
00:44:40,880 --> 00:44:42,600
Speaker 1: with you. But right now he's not that man, and

938
00:44:42,880 --> 00:44:45,920
Speaker 1: he has not cleaned up one little thing. Expect more

939
00:44:45,960 --> 00:44:48,360
Speaker 1: from your men. Put the bar a little higher.

940
00:44:48,400 --> 00:44:51,560
Speaker 2: On to the next part. After I move out, I'm

941
00:44:51,600 --> 00:44:54,320
Speaker 2: not paying for anything else, no utilities, no food, no

942
00:44:54,520 --> 00:44:57,080
Speaker 2: nothing other than the rent the twenty five percent. I

943
00:44:57,160 --> 00:44:59,080
Speaker 2: have a pretty good idea of what his finances are

944
00:44:59,200 --> 00:45:01,359
Speaker 2: like and if he he has to pay seventy five

945
00:45:01,440 --> 00:45:03,960
Speaker 2: percent of the rent all by himself, is going to

946
00:45:04,000 --> 00:45:06,600
Speaker 2: take a huge chunk of his net income, and after

947
00:45:06,680 --> 00:45:09,080
Speaker 2: he pays utilities and buys groceries, there won't be anything

948
00:45:09,560 --> 00:45:12,320
Speaker 2: left for incidentals. Rent was due on the first, but

949
00:45:12,440 --> 00:45:14,360
Speaker 2: it's not late until it's on the fifth, so he

950
00:45:14,480 --> 00:45:16,960
Speaker 2: has two days to come up with the sh money.

951
00:45:17,239 --> 00:45:19,520
Speaker 2: If he doesn't come up with it and I end

952
00:45:19,680 --> 00:45:22,719
Speaker 2: up covering, then I will reduce the amount I pay

953
00:45:22,760 --> 00:45:25,279
Speaker 2: in future months. She's like, if I do pay extra

954
00:45:25,360 --> 00:45:27,239
Speaker 2: to help cover you today, I'm going to take that

955
00:45:27,440 --> 00:45:28,840
Speaker 2: out of what I'm paying in the future.

956
00:45:29,160 --> 00:45:31,640
Speaker 1: We're progressing towards zero, which is good.

957
00:45:31,719 --> 00:45:33,759
Speaker 2: The only reason that I'm going to keep paying any

958
00:45:33,840 --> 00:45:35,920
Speaker 2: of the rent is that even after I move out,

959
00:45:36,120 --> 00:45:38,160
Speaker 2: I'm still on the hook. I talked to the leasing

960
00:45:38,239 --> 00:45:41,080
Speaker 2: office and they explained that since X and I signed

961
00:45:41,360 --> 00:45:44,680
Speaker 2: a single rental agreement together, i e. One contract we

962
00:45:44,760 --> 00:45:47,880
Speaker 2: both assigned, as opposed to two separate contracts we signed individually,

963
00:45:48,239 --> 00:45:50,439
Speaker 2: we are both responsible for the rents. If he doesn't

964
00:45:50,480 --> 00:45:52,759
Speaker 2: make the rent, oh, he could face the consequences. They

965
00:45:52,800 --> 00:45:54,600
Speaker 2: don't care who actually pays it as long as it

966
00:45:54,640 --> 00:45:57,520
Speaker 2: gets paid. The only alternative would be if he agrees

967
00:45:57,600 --> 00:45:59,840
Speaker 2: to sign a new lease by himself or together with

968
00:46:00,120 --> 00:46:00,480
Speaker 2: his mom.

969
00:46:00,680 --> 00:46:03,320
Speaker 1: But you know what, let him go get a crappy apartment. Also, like,

970
00:46:03,719 --> 00:46:07,239
Speaker 1: is this not a turn off? I'm confused? Why are

971
00:46:07,280 --> 00:46:10,120
Speaker 1: you holding on to this relationship? This is like the

972
00:46:10,320 --> 00:46:13,320
Speaker 1: biggest red flag of all time? Like, what does he

973
00:46:13,480 --> 00:46:16,960
Speaker 1: have here? I think OP gave him the big chance.

974
00:46:17,160 --> 00:46:19,359
Speaker 1: She's like, all right, I'm gonna move out. It had

975
00:46:19,400 --> 00:46:22,400
Speaker 1: been three months overdue. She's like, let me lay it

976
00:46:22,480 --> 00:46:25,919
Speaker 1: all out one final time. There comes that point where

977
00:46:25,960 --> 00:46:27,320
Speaker 1: you're like, you gotta.

978
00:46:27,600 --> 00:46:28,480
Speaker 2: Call it at some point.

979
00:46:28,600 --> 00:46:32,279
Speaker 1: Maybe he's the nicest, best in bed guy ever and

980
00:46:32,440 --> 00:46:36,279
Speaker 1: that's what's clouding your judgment right now. But again, don't

981
00:46:36,360 --> 00:46:38,440
Speaker 1: let that cloud your judgment from the facts of Like,

982
00:46:38,640 --> 00:46:40,640
Speaker 1: this is not an adult man that I think you

983
00:46:40,719 --> 00:46:43,880
Speaker 1: can have an adult relationship with. That is a teenage

984
00:46:44,000 --> 00:46:48,840
Speaker 1: boy that can't fold his own clothes, needs his mommy around.

985
00:46:49,239 --> 00:46:52,200
Speaker 2: I wholeheartedly agree, But in all likelihood, he wouldn't be

986
00:46:52,200 --> 00:46:53,920
Speaker 2: able to pass the credit check on his own for

987
00:46:54,080 --> 00:46:56,400
Speaker 2: getting a lease, So I am kind of stuck here.

988
00:46:56,680 --> 00:46:59,080
Speaker 2: I don't think he'll do anything stupid, though, because he's

989
00:46:59,120 --> 00:47:01,000
Speaker 2: going to need to find some place to live after this,

990
00:47:01,400 --> 00:47:03,839
Speaker 2: and a collection on his credit report would not be good.

991
00:47:04,160 --> 00:47:06,000
Speaker 2: I also told him that I'm gonna go find someplace

992
00:47:06,080 --> 00:47:08,120
Speaker 2: to work during the day until I move so she

993
00:47:08,239 --> 00:47:10,399
Speaker 2: can't bother me. My friend I'm moving in with said

994
00:47:10,440 --> 00:47:12,279
Speaker 2: that I could work there during the day since she

995
00:47:12,440 --> 00:47:14,840
Speaker 2: and her current roommate have in person nine to fives.

996
00:47:15,120 --> 00:47:17,520
Speaker 2: I took her up on that for now. After living

997
00:47:17,560 --> 00:47:20,360
Speaker 2: with his mom, I'm not about to overstay my welcome,

998
00:47:20,560 --> 00:47:22,960
Speaker 2: so I'm going to find some other options that I

999
00:47:23,000 --> 00:47:26,160
Speaker 2: can rotate through. Someone suggested checking out the public library,

1000
00:47:26,320 --> 00:47:28,000
Speaker 2: or if it comes to it, I'll get a membership

1001
00:47:28,120 --> 00:47:30,799
Speaker 2: at one of those coworking type spaces just in case.

1002
00:47:30,960 --> 00:47:34,040
Speaker 2: I brought my important papers, files, valuables, and my friend

1003
00:47:34,120 --> 00:47:36,279
Speaker 2: is storing them for me until I move in. So

1004
00:47:36,600 --> 00:47:40,520
Speaker 2: you might be thinking, sam KEIONI, what about fiance. How

1005
00:47:40,560 --> 00:47:43,000
Speaker 2: do you think he's handling it like a champion? No,

1006
00:47:43,480 --> 00:47:46,759
Speaker 2: like a little baby. He's like, you get a critique me,

1007
00:47:47,320 --> 00:47:49,600
Speaker 2: So he really didn't take a well. The surprising thing

1008
00:47:49,680 --> 00:47:52,640
Speaker 2: to me is that he was surprised by everything. He

1009
00:47:52,719 --> 00:47:56,480
Speaker 2: seemed really shocked that I wasn't prioritizing his mom and everything.

1010
00:47:56,760 --> 00:47:59,279
Speaker 2: I really got the feeling that he sincerely believed that

1011
00:47:59,480 --> 00:48:01,759
Speaker 2: I wanted to take care of her as much as him,

1012
00:48:01,880 --> 00:48:04,560
Speaker 2: and he kept saying stuff like, well, what about my mom?

1013
00:48:04,640 --> 00:48:06,120
Speaker 2: When am I gonna tell her that's.

1014
00:48:05,960 --> 00:48:06,440
Speaker 1: How she is?

1015
00:48:07,000 --> 00:48:08,680
Speaker 2: But we still need to help her.

1016
00:48:09,120 --> 00:48:12,960
Speaker 1: We've been prioritizing her for the last six months. How

1017
00:48:12,960 --> 00:48:15,320
Speaker 1: about prioritizing us. You're not gonna have a wife to

1018
00:48:15,400 --> 00:48:18,479
Speaker 1: be if you keep prioritizing mama. So he asked about

1019
00:48:18,480 --> 00:48:20,160
Speaker 1: our relationship and the engagement.

1020
00:48:20,440 --> 00:48:22,360
Speaker 2: I told him after I move out, I need some

1021
00:48:22,440 --> 00:48:25,160
Speaker 2: space from him in a few months, when we've both

1022
00:48:25,200 --> 00:48:27,840
Speaker 2: had some time and space to process about what happened.

1023
00:48:28,120 --> 00:48:32,359
Speaker 2: If we both agree, we can then talk about our relationship,

1024
00:48:32,600 --> 00:48:34,759
Speaker 2: but he'd have to prove that he's going to have

1025
00:48:35,000 --> 00:48:38,399
Speaker 2: my back going forward, and we'll set boundaries with his mom.

1026
00:48:38,800 --> 00:48:41,040
Speaker 2: I told him that just to avoid more drama. But

1027
00:48:41,160 --> 00:48:43,920
Speaker 2: I don't see a future in which we are together.

1028
00:48:44,320 --> 00:48:47,080
Speaker 1: I like that. I think giving the people that you

1029
00:48:47,160 --> 00:48:51,200
Speaker 1: are close to the opportunity to change generally is a

1030
00:48:51,200 --> 00:48:54,799
Speaker 1: good idea, even though that opportunity may set them up

1031
00:48:54,840 --> 00:48:56,839
Speaker 1: for failure. Which I think is what's going to happen

1032
00:48:56,840 --> 00:48:57,319
Speaker 1: in this case.

1033
00:48:57,440 --> 00:48:59,120
Speaker 2: I told him that he needs to tell his mom

1034
00:48:59,280 --> 00:49:02,719
Speaker 2: because she's not my responsibility or problem, and she'll know

1035
00:49:02,880 --> 00:49:05,319
Speaker 2: something's up when I start moving my stuff out. Mom

1036
00:49:05,400 --> 00:49:08,000
Speaker 2: doesn't even know yet. He hasn't told her what's going

1037
00:49:08,080 --> 00:49:10,959
Speaker 2: on yet, But this weekend I'm going to start moving

1038
00:49:11,040 --> 00:49:13,839
Speaker 2: my things. So my friend's current roommate starts a new

1039
00:49:13,920 --> 00:49:16,440
Speaker 2: job in another state on the third, So in reality,

1040
00:49:16,480 --> 00:49:19,040
Speaker 2: I can probably move in two to three weeks, just

1041
00:49:19,160 --> 00:49:22,000
Speaker 2: depending on when she actually leaves. I don't expect him

1042
00:49:22,000 --> 00:49:24,640
Speaker 2: to do anything bad other than soul can complain. But

1043
00:49:24,760 --> 00:49:27,200
Speaker 2: if he does something stupid or doesn't pay his part

1044
00:49:27,239 --> 00:49:30,040
Speaker 2: of the rent, the ace up my sleeve is I'll

1045
00:49:30,160 --> 00:49:33,080
Speaker 2: tell the leasing office his mom moved in, which is

1046
00:49:33,200 --> 00:49:36,600
Speaker 2: prohibited in the lease. There we go the point we've

1047
00:49:36,680 --> 00:49:40,640
Speaker 2: come to so sad. Honestly, getting evicted would solve a

1048
00:49:40,680 --> 00:49:42,680
Speaker 2: lot of my problems right now. So it's a pretty

1049
00:49:42,760 --> 00:49:46,040
Speaker 2: valid threat, I think. Either way, if you think it's

1050
00:49:46,080 --> 00:49:49,080
Speaker 2: a valid threat, that we have over two thousand episodes,

1051
00:49:49,120 --> 00:49:51,080
Speaker 2: it's the most valid threat you've heard in your life.

1052
00:49:51,520 --> 00:49:53,880
Speaker 2: Because if you go to Spotify, Apple or your favorite

1053
00:49:53,880 --> 00:49:57,279
Speaker 2: pod app. You're gonna experience all two thousand episodes of

1054
00:49:57,320 --> 00:50:01,120
Speaker 2: that goodness for your ears, the last into your brain.

1055
00:50:01,239 --> 00:50:04,680
Speaker 1: Imagine a fire hose your open brain and a fire

1056
00:50:04,760 --> 00:50:08,680
Speaker 1: hose of our voices for as long as you darn

1057
00:50:08,760 --> 00:50:09,680
Speaker 1: well please.

1058
00:50:09,640 --> 00:50:12,720
Speaker 2: It'll never run out. Opie says, now that I've mentally

1059
00:50:12,760 --> 00:50:15,680
Speaker 2: and emotionally separated myself from him and his mom, I'm

1060
00:50:15,719 --> 00:50:19,160
Speaker 2: looking forward to her reaction when he tells her what's

1061
00:50:19,239 --> 00:50:19,600
Speaker 2: going on.

1062
00:50:19,960 --> 00:50:22,680
Speaker 1: If he tells her, it's like, yeah, why it has

1063
00:50:22,800 --> 00:50:25,360
Speaker 1: Opie's stuff moved? Oh oh, she's just spring cleaning.

1064
00:50:25,440 --> 00:50:27,879
Speaker 2: And if things get too ugly, I'll find a cheap

1065
00:50:27,920 --> 00:50:31,040
Speaker 2: airbnb or hotel or something. I've had some friends, including

1066
00:50:31,080 --> 00:50:32,719
Speaker 2: the one i'm moving in with, offer to let me

1067
00:50:32,840 --> 00:50:35,120
Speaker 2: couch her for a few weeks, but I just can't

1068
00:50:35,200 --> 00:50:37,880
Speaker 2: do that to someone else, so that's it. I'm leaving

1069
00:50:37,960 --> 00:50:40,320
Speaker 2: and I don't really care how it affects them. So

1070
00:50:40,680 --> 00:50:43,000
Speaker 2: it was kind of a crap show. But I've moved

1071
00:50:43,040 --> 00:50:46,440
Speaker 2: out and I am off the lease and future mother

1072
00:50:46,440 --> 00:50:48,560
Speaker 2: in law is on the lease now and she and

1073
00:50:48,680 --> 00:50:51,920
Speaker 2: Ex's dad are covering half the rent and soon to

1074
00:50:52,000 --> 00:50:54,520
Speaker 2: be exus covering the other half. Last week, I started

1075
00:50:54,560 --> 00:50:57,040
Speaker 2: working out of my friend's apartment as the one that

1076
00:50:57,080 --> 00:50:59,560
Speaker 2: I'm moving in with, so I didn't see ex's mom

1077
00:50:59,640 --> 00:51:02,680
Speaker 2: on my Tuesday. Around lunch, she sent me a text

1078
00:51:02,920 --> 00:51:05,560
Speaker 2: asking where I was. I told her I was working

1079
00:51:05,680 --> 00:51:08,400
Speaker 2: and i'd be home late tonight. She replied that X

1080
00:51:08,520 --> 00:51:10,960
Speaker 2: told her that I wasn't going to be contributing as much,

1081
00:51:11,280 --> 00:51:13,719
Speaker 2: so she had to loan him money for the rent.

1082
00:51:14,239 --> 00:51:16,760
Speaker 2: That wasn't a surprise to me, so I just replied

1083
00:51:16,840 --> 00:51:19,520
Speaker 2: with a emoji. I had plans with my friend in

1084
00:51:19,560 --> 00:51:21,560
Speaker 2: her roommate who I'm also friends with, to go out

1085
00:51:21,600 --> 00:51:23,680
Speaker 2: for dinner and then get some drinks, so by the

1086
00:51:23,760 --> 00:51:25,840
Speaker 2: time I got home, it was after midnight and my

1087
00:51:25,960 --> 00:51:29,920
Speaker 2: ex'es mom was already asleep. The funds started Wednesday morning.

1088
00:51:30,120 --> 00:51:31,480
Speaker 2: I was getting ready to go to work at my

1089
00:51:31,520 --> 00:51:34,600
Speaker 2: friend's place when my ex'es mom stopped me and said

1090
00:51:34,640 --> 00:51:38,600
Speaker 2: that we need to discuss my financial situation. Then she

1091
00:51:38,719 --> 00:51:41,120
Speaker 2: went on a whole ti rate about her having to

1092
00:51:41,200 --> 00:51:44,160
Speaker 2: cover my part of the rent and me making foolish

1093
00:51:44,280 --> 00:51:46,839
Speaker 2: choices by going out to dinner when I couldn't even

1094
00:51:46,960 --> 00:51:49,800
Speaker 2: pay the rent. I was irresponsible with my money and

1095
00:51:49,920 --> 00:51:52,040
Speaker 2: inconsiderate of the impact it had on others.

1096
00:51:52,520 --> 00:51:53,479
Speaker 1: Blah blah blah.

1097
00:51:53,880 --> 00:51:55,640
Speaker 2: She went on to say that if she was going

1098
00:51:55,719 --> 00:51:57,719
Speaker 2: to have to pay my share of the rent, that

1099
00:51:57,840 --> 00:52:00,479
Speaker 2: she expected me to do a better job of keeping

1100
00:52:00,560 --> 00:52:04,440
Speaker 2: on top of chores and keeping the apartment clean and organized.

1101
00:52:04,719 --> 00:52:07,160
Speaker 2: I told her that I was moving out, since obviously

1102
00:52:07,320 --> 00:52:10,440
Speaker 2: soon to be X hadn't told her yet. She seemed,

1103
00:52:10,640 --> 00:52:13,279
Speaker 2: I don't know, pleased with herself. All she had to

1104
00:52:13,360 --> 00:52:16,600
Speaker 2: say was maybe that's for the best. There's one thing

1105
00:52:16,640 --> 00:52:17,320
Speaker 2: they can agree on.

1106
00:52:17,760 --> 00:52:22,640
Speaker 1: I wonder, is the mom intentionally trying to sabotage this relationship.

1107
00:52:22,840 --> 00:52:25,480
Speaker 2: I mean, it's a mama's boy. Obviously. When I got

1108
00:52:25,560 --> 00:52:28,439
Speaker 2: home that night, right off the bat, she wanted to talk.

1109
00:52:28,840 --> 00:52:31,480
Speaker 2: She said, instead of me moving out, we could get

1110
00:52:31,520 --> 00:52:34,960
Speaker 2: a bigger apartment, and she'd be willing to help by

1111
00:52:35,120 --> 00:52:38,440
Speaker 2: paying the difference between a two bedroom to three bedroom.

1112
00:52:38,640 --> 00:52:41,279
Speaker 2: Then we could go back to the arrangements X and

1113
00:52:41,360 --> 00:52:44,320
Speaker 2: I had before she moved in, me paying two thirds

1114
00:52:44,360 --> 00:52:46,200
Speaker 2: of the balance and him paying one third.

1115
00:52:46,600 --> 00:52:49,839
Speaker 1: She's like, all right, I have a solution. Let's get

1116
00:52:49,880 --> 00:52:53,280
Speaker 1: a bigger place where you still pay for two thirds.

1117
00:52:53,520 --> 00:52:56,000
Speaker 2: She's like, hey, you know you're only paying like fifteen

1118
00:52:56,120 --> 00:52:58,799
Speaker 2: hundred right now. I'm willing to help, but let's make

1119
00:52:58,840 --> 00:52:59,799
Speaker 2: you pay two thousand now.

1120
00:53:00,080 --> 00:53:03,239
Speaker 1: Also, I want two rooms. I'm so glad. Ohpi's leaving.

1121
00:53:03,600 --> 00:53:07,839
Speaker 1: You cannot marry someone who has a monster in law

1122
00:53:08,160 --> 00:53:11,120
Speaker 1: if they don't put boundaries up against the monster.

1123
00:53:11,520 --> 00:53:14,720
Speaker 2: When she was saying this, I think my brain vapor locked.

1124
00:53:15,000 --> 00:53:17,120
Speaker 2: She was making it sound like she was doing us

1125
00:53:17,160 --> 00:53:20,520
Speaker 2: a favor by offering to pay the increase in the rent.

1126
00:53:21,000 --> 00:53:25,040
Speaker 2: But apparently this manchild who tells his mom literally every

1127
00:53:25,239 --> 00:53:29,440
Speaker 2: single thing about our lives in relationship, hadn't bothered to

1128
00:53:29,520 --> 00:53:33,160
Speaker 2: tell his mom about how much I was actually contributing.

1129
00:53:33,600 --> 00:53:37,160
Speaker 2: It seems like once she discovered that X wasn't paying

1130
00:53:37,239 --> 00:53:40,840
Speaker 2: for everything like she thought, she wasn't as excited about

1131
00:53:40,920 --> 00:53:44,560
Speaker 2: me moving out. He also was like, oh, I'm.

1132
00:53:44,600 --> 00:53:48,760
Speaker 1: Covering dude, send him away. Hey, At the very least,

1133
00:53:49,120 --> 00:53:52,040
Speaker 1: we found more reasons that we shouldn't be in a relationship.

1134
00:53:52,320 --> 00:53:54,239
Speaker 2: I tried to be polite, and I told her I'd

1135
00:53:54,400 --> 00:53:57,360
Speaker 2: already given notice to our apartment complex that I was

1136
00:53:57,440 --> 00:53:59,440
Speaker 2: moving out at the end of the month, and already

1137
00:53:59,440 --> 00:54:02,239
Speaker 2: committed to me with my friend. She kept pushing the

1138
00:54:02,360 --> 00:54:05,280
Speaker 2: issue and said, if she was willing to pay the difference,

1139
00:54:05,560 --> 00:54:08,399
Speaker 2: I should just stay because that would really be best

1140
00:54:08,480 --> 00:54:11,080
Speaker 2: for everyone. By then I was getting annoyed and told

1141
00:54:11,120 --> 00:54:13,120
Speaker 2: her that because of the way she had been acting

1142
00:54:13,160 --> 00:54:15,320
Speaker 2: and treating me, I had no interest in living with

1143
00:54:15,400 --> 00:54:18,439
Speaker 2: her anymore. That's when the best line of this whole

1144
00:54:18,560 --> 00:54:22,200
Speaker 2: dumpster fire came out of my mouth. She said that

1145
00:54:22,360 --> 00:54:25,160
Speaker 2: she was worried I was taking advantage of her son

1146
00:54:25,520 --> 00:54:28,719
Speaker 2: get out of here. We're using our therapy right now,

1147
00:54:28,840 --> 00:54:31,120
Speaker 2: our meditation to stay calm and centered on this one,

1148
00:54:31,280 --> 00:54:34,200
Speaker 2: and if we had told her about our financial arrangement,

1149
00:54:34,280 --> 00:54:37,520
Speaker 2: she would have been more understanding of why I wasn't

1150
00:54:37,680 --> 00:54:40,520
Speaker 2: keeping up with the apartment. I told her maybe a

1151
00:54:40,600 --> 00:54:43,360
Speaker 2: good lesson from this is to try being nice to

1152
00:54:43,440 --> 00:54:45,960
Speaker 2: everyone in the future, and not just the people you

1153
00:54:46,080 --> 00:54:46,960
Speaker 2: think you can help you.

1154
00:54:47,239 --> 00:54:48,880
Speaker 1: Why don't you take your own advice?

1155
00:54:49,120 --> 00:54:51,879
Speaker 2: And I asked her why she didn't help out more

1156
00:54:52,320 --> 00:54:55,440
Speaker 2: since she didn't do anything productive all day. She did

1157
00:54:55,520 --> 00:54:58,360
Speaker 2: not like either of those comments. The apple does not

1158
00:54:58,480 --> 00:55:00,960
Speaker 2: fall from the tree, and it got pretty hostile with

1159
00:55:01,040 --> 00:55:03,160
Speaker 2: both of us yelling at each other, and to be fair,

1160
00:55:03,360 --> 00:55:06,320
Speaker 2: we both said some pretty awful things to one another. Finally,

1161
00:55:06,520 --> 00:55:08,640
Speaker 2: I told her I was going to inform the rental

1162
00:55:08,719 --> 00:55:11,360
Speaker 2: office that she had been living there contrary to the

1163
00:55:11,440 --> 00:55:14,360
Speaker 2: lease agreement, because getting evicted would be worth it to

1164
00:55:14,440 --> 00:55:17,960
Speaker 2: see her living on the street. I grabbed my laptop

1165
00:55:18,320 --> 00:55:21,440
Speaker 2: and went to my friends. I didn't even bother packing

1166
00:55:21,520 --> 00:55:22,399
Speaker 2: in overnight bag.

1167
00:55:22,520 --> 00:55:23,960
Speaker 1: Does that get a little bit too much to the

1168
00:55:24,040 --> 00:55:26,239
Speaker 1: living on the street thing? I think, like, we don't

1169
00:55:26,320 --> 00:55:28,759
Speaker 1: want her living on the street, but we do want

1170
00:55:28,800 --> 00:55:31,160
Speaker 1: op away from it, and if she is going to

1171
00:55:31,239 --> 00:55:34,080
Speaker 1: live on the street based on this, that is her

1172
00:55:34,160 --> 00:55:34,640
Speaker 1: own fault.

1173
00:55:35,000 --> 00:55:38,080
Speaker 2: But next Thursday, my ex texted me and said that

1174
00:55:38,320 --> 00:55:40,840
Speaker 2: he had added his mom to the elease effective the

1175
00:55:40,960 --> 00:55:43,200
Speaker 2: first of the month, and that she and his dad.

1176
00:55:43,360 --> 00:55:45,720
Speaker 2: I have no idea how that poor man got roped

1177
00:55:45,719 --> 00:55:48,759
Speaker 2: into this would pay half the rent and my ex

1178
00:55:48,840 --> 00:55:51,040
Speaker 2: would pay the other half. I confirmed it with the

1179
00:55:51,080 --> 00:55:53,400
Speaker 2: property manager that I was off the lease and that

1180
00:55:53,520 --> 00:55:56,960
Speaker 2: I didn't have any further obligation. I got it in email,

1181
00:55:57,080 --> 00:55:59,719
Speaker 2: so I have a record important in writing. I put

1182
00:55:59,800 --> 00:56:03,080
Speaker 2: disconnect orders in for the utilities under my name and

1183
00:56:03,200 --> 00:56:05,120
Speaker 2: told him to call and set up accounts under his

1184
00:56:05,320 --> 00:56:08,040
Speaker 2: name for those I'm going to lose the damage deposit.

1185
00:56:08,239 --> 00:56:10,799
Speaker 2: It goes to whoever is living there when the lease ends,

1186
00:56:11,080 --> 00:56:14,439
Speaker 2: but it's a small price to pay to be free.

1187
00:56:14,760 --> 00:56:16,759
Speaker 2: On the way home, I stopped and got a bunch

1188
00:56:16,800 --> 00:56:19,040
Speaker 2: of boxes to pack my stuff up. She was pretty

1189
00:56:19,120 --> 00:56:21,440
Speaker 2: hostile when I got home, and when she saw how

1190
00:56:21,520 --> 00:56:24,640
Speaker 2: much I was taking she got worse. My son bought

1191
00:56:24,680 --> 00:56:27,359
Speaker 2: everything in this house, he told me over and over.

1192
00:56:27,920 --> 00:56:30,480
Speaker 2: I ended up taking Friday off to finish packing, and

1193
00:56:30,600 --> 00:56:32,920
Speaker 2: Saturday to get some friends to help move some stuff

1194
00:56:32,920 --> 00:56:35,160
Speaker 2: into my new place. I'm gonna pay my friends some

1195
00:56:35,440 --> 00:56:37,839
Speaker 2: rents for the next two weeks until when I move out.

1196
00:56:38,040 --> 00:56:39,960
Speaker 2: They didn't want me to, but I'm not going to

1197
00:56:40,040 --> 00:56:42,719
Speaker 2: stay in someone's home and not contribute op He's like,

1198
00:56:42,840 --> 00:56:45,920
Speaker 2: I Am not going to become the monster I've run

1199
00:56:46,000 --> 00:56:48,640
Speaker 2: from if nothing else. Living with X and his mom

1200
00:56:48,800 --> 00:56:51,200
Speaker 2: taught me that. Last night, Action and I got together

1201
00:56:51,360 --> 00:56:54,400
Speaker 2: and started talking for the first time since Saturday. He

1202
00:56:54,480 --> 00:56:56,600
Speaker 2: said his mom is staying until June when the lease

1203
00:56:56,719 --> 00:56:59,160
Speaker 2: is up, and then she's moving back to their hometown.

1204
00:56:59,480 --> 00:57:01,319
Speaker 2: This was all for nothing, No.

1205
00:57:01,480 --> 00:57:05,359
Speaker 1: Dude, it was not. This was all her plan from

1206
00:57:05,440 --> 00:57:10,200
Speaker 1: the very beginning. From the very beginning, she just wanted

1207
00:57:10,239 --> 00:57:13,680
Speaker 1: her little boy to not be with this lady, not

1208
00:57:13,840 --> 00:57:17,360
Speaker 1: be with op and she played her cards brilliantly. This

1209
00:57:17,720 --> 00:57:22,080
Speaker 1: mom ruined a relationship, but honestly good. I mean, she

1210
00:57:22,200 --> 00:57:26,720
Speaker 1: exposed some terrible things about the relationship, so kind of

1211
00:57:26,760 --> 00:57:31,800
Speaker 1: a win win. What a freaking masterclass and manipulation on

1212
00:57:31,960 --> 00:57:34,200
Speaker 1: the mom's side insane.

1213
00:57:34,440 --> 00:57:36,919
Speaker 2: Now, according to him, she just really didn't like living

1214
00:57:37,000 --> 00:57:39,120
Speaker 2: here and that's why she didn't try to find a job.

1215
00:57:39,200 --> 00:57:41,560
Speaker 2: Then he asked how long a break I thought we

1216
00:57:41,600 --> 00:57:43,920
Speaker 2: should take? Have you heard of the thing called infinity?

1217
00:57:44,120 --> 00:57:46,320
Speaker 2: A few commentars gave me a hard time for stringing

1218
00:57:46,400 --> 00:57:49,400
Speaker 2: him along, so I was brutally honest and told him

1219
00:57:49,440 --> 00:57:52,000
Speaker 2: that I could not be with someone that allowed others

1220
00:57:52,440 --> 00:57:55,160
Speaker 2: to treat me the way he allowed his mom to

1221
00:57:55,240 --> 00:57:57,760
Speaker 2: treat me, and that I hope he learned to stand.

1222
00:57:57,520 --> 00:58:01,080
Speaker 1: On his own and establish some bad This is a

1223
00:58:01,120 --> 00:58:03,520
Speaker 1: good learning lesson that he can take into if he

1224
00:58:03,560 --> 00:58:04,600
Speaker 1: has another relationship.

1225
00:58:04,680 --> 00:58:08,680
Speaker 2: Ever, use your noodle the one upstairs, My friends, he

1226
00:58:08,800 --> 00:58:11,280
Speaker 2: looks like he was gonna cry and just got up

1227
00:58:11,320 --> 00:58:13,440
Speaker 2: and left. As far as I'm concerned, this whole thing

1228
00:58:13,520 --> 00:58:16,160
Speaker 2: is over and done. I'm gonna call it a learning experience.

1229
00:58:16,240 --> 00:58:18,600
Speaker 2: And be glad that I found out how awful ex's

1230
00:58:18,640 --> 00:58:21,280
Speaker 2: moomb is before we got married. The thing that amazes

1231
00:58:21,360 --> 00:58:23,720
Speaker 2: me is the amount of damage this woman leaves in

1232
00:58:23,800 --> 00:58:27,600
Speaker 2: her wake, and how utterly oblivious she is. She destroyed

1233
00:58:27,640 --> 00:58:30,960
Speaker 2: our engagement and relationship is leaving X in a much

1234
00:58:31,080 --> 00:58:35,880
Speaker 2: worse financial situation, pushed back her ex husband's retirement by

1235
00:58:36,120 --> 00:58:38,560
Speaker 2: I don't know how many years, since he now has

1236
00:58:38,600 --> 00:58:41,440
Speaker 2: to likely pay off the mortgage or get a second

1237
00:58:41,520 --> 00:58:43,440
Speaker 2: mortgage that he needed to do to pay off her

1238
00:58:43,480 --> 00:58:46,280
Speaker 2: half of equity. Basically, he had to dump a bunch

1239
00:58:46,320 --> 00:58:48,280
Speaker 2: of money to buy her out of the house. I

1240
00:58:48,320 --> 00:58:50,880
Speaker 2: don't blame me. You just bought your piece, my friend,

1241
00:58:51,040 --> 00:58:54,280
Speaker 2: and she made my life a hell for six plus months,

1242
00:58:54,720 --> 00:58:58,360
Speaker 2: and she's walking away completely unscathed. According to my ex,

1243
00:58:58,480 --> 00:59:01,360
Speaker 2: she's going back to her hometown and just picking up

1244
00:59:01,800 --> 00:59:04,439
Speaker 2: her old teaching job. I'm thinking about going to visit

1245
00:59:04,520 --> 00:59:06,920
Speaker 2: my parents next week and working from their house. I

1246
00:59:07,000 --> 00:59:09,080
Speaker 2: want to tell them how boring and dramatic they are

1247
00:59:09,360 --> 00:59:12,320
Speaker 2: and how much I'm grateful for that and how much

1248
00:59:12,440 --> 00:59:13,440
Speaker 2: I love them for it.

1249
00:59:13,960 --> 00:59:17,640
Speaker 1: And that's where it ends. That kind of ended exactly

1250
00:59:17,800 --> 00:59:20,440
Speaker 1: how we would have wanted it. We put up boundaries.

1251
00:59:20,720 --> 00:59:24,240
Speaker 1: We communicated clearly and effectively with honesty, even about the

1252
00:59:24,320 --> 00:59:26,680
Speaker 1: hard stuff, and it got you in a better situation ope,

1253
00:59:26,760 --> 00:59:30,320
Speaker 1: away from this man child and this monster in law.

1254
00:59:30,520 --> 00:59:31,760
Speaker 1: That is where that story ends.

1255
00:59:32,880 --> 00:59:34,880
Speaker 2: Hey, y'all, it's John og Host here. We're gonna get

1256
00:59:34,880 --> 00:59:36,160
Speaker 2: back to the story. So but here's a quick three

1257
00:59:36,160 --> 00:59:37,520
Speaker 2: minute break from as for more sponsors.

1258
00:59:38,080 --> 00:59:42,760
Speaker 1: My girlfriend's words hurt my sister. Now it's over between us.

1259
00:59:43,600 --> 00:59:47,720
Speaker 1: Trigger warning, mental health and mentions of s h. So

1260
00:59:48,240 --> 00:59:51,520
Speaker 1: my girlfriend is twenty two years old and I'm twenty.

1261
00:59:52,040 --> 00:59:54,600
Speaker 1: We've been together informally for about a year, and we

1262
00:59:54,680 --> 00:59:57,680
Speaker 1: knew each other before that, and we've been in a serious, official,

1263
00:59:57,880 --> 01:00:02,120
Speaker 1: committed relationship for ten By the way, this comes from

1264
01:00:02,440 --> 01:00:05,040
Speaker 1: ignorance is Chris. And if you want to submit your

1265
01:00:05,040 --> 01:00:06,840
Speaker 1: own story is go to our slash oaky story time

1266
01:00:06,880 --> 01:00:09,880
Speaker 1: read it. So, my girlfriend has never met my family,

1267
01:00:10,200 --> 01:00:12,200
Speaker 1: and I was planning for some time to go back

1268
01:00:12,240 --> 01:00:15,240
Speaker 1: and visit home for three weeks to celebrate my sister's

1269
01:00:15,680 --> 01:00:18,840
Speaker 1: twenty second birthday. My girlfriend was happy about that, and

1270
01:00:18,920 --> 01:00:21,000
Speaker 1: she suggested coming along as it would be a good

1271
01:00:21,000 --> 01:00:23,120
Speaker 1: opportunity to meet my family for the first time. Which

1272
01:00:23,120 --> 01:00:24,600
Speaker 1: I feel like. You know, around a year, that's the

1273
01:00:24,640 --> 01:00:27,240
Speaker 1: time you meet families, and I thought that was a

1274
01:00:27,400 --> 01:00:29,800
Speaker 1: wonderful idea called it my parents and asked if it

1275
01:00:29,880 --> 01:00:32,760
Speaker 1: was okay if she came, and they said sure, they

1276
01:00:32,800 --> 01:00:34,560
Speaker 1: would also like to meet her, and they prepared the

1277
01:00:34,600 --> 01:00:37,280
Speaker 1: spare bedroom for her. We arrived home and things were

1278
01:00:37,360 --> 01:00:40,040
Speaker 1: going great for the first week they met each other.

1279
01:00:40,320 --> 01:00:43,680
Speaker 1: They really liked each other. Things were going fantastic. We

1280
01:00:43,800 --> 01:00:47,000
Speaker 1: celebrated my sister's birthday. It was really amazing. My girlfriend

1281
01:00:47,040 --> 01:00:50,040
Speaker 1: and sister really seemed to get along, seemed there was

1282
01:00:50,120 --> 01:00:53,080
Speaker 1: trouble afoot, seemed to like each other. For me, it

1283
01:00:53,200 --> 01:00:56,200
Speaker 1: is something incredibly special and important that they get along

1284
01:00:56,240 --> 01:00:58,520
Speaker 1: because they are both the two most important people in

1285
01:00:58,560 --> 01:01:00,840
Speaker 1: my life and dear to me. So it made me

1286
01:01:00,920 --> 01:01:05,160
Speaker 1: feel very happy, warm inside, cute and cuddly that they

1287
01:01:05,240 --> 01:01:08,480
Speaker 1: really liked each other. However, we're getting to the big

1288
01:01:08,680 --> 01:01:13,160
Speaker 1: button this story. But however, after the birthday, in the

1289
01:01:13,240 --> 01:01:17,000
Speaker 1: next few days, I noticed things took a downturn. My

1290
01:01:17,120 --> 01:01:22,000
Speaker 1: girlfriend became a bit colder towards my sister, not as pleasant.

1291
01:01:22,360 --> 01:01:24,440
Speaker 1: She said something really mean to her when we were

1292
01:01:24,520 --> 01:01:27,520
Speaker 1: out one day. My sister suggested to my girlfriend that

1293
01:01:27,600 --> 01:01:29,520
Speaker 1: we go swimming at the beach. She said the weather

1294
01:01:29,680 --> 01:01:32,960
Speaker 1: was really nice, my girlfriend would love the beach. Sounds fine.

1295
01:01:33,400 --> 01:01:36,360
Speaker 1: My girlfriend had also brought her bathers and was more

1296
01:01:36,400 --> 01:01:38,440
Speaker 1: than happy to go. We went to the three of

1297
01:01:38,560 --> 01:01:41,880
Speaker 1: us and we're having fun until my girlfriend said something

1298
01:01:42,000 --> 01:01:45,840
Speaker 1: really insensitive and hurtful. What do we think was said?

1299
01:01:45,920 --> 01:01:46,680
Speaker 2: Body comments?

1300
01:01:46,840 --> 01:01:51,280
Speaker 1: Which why we were sitting in the sand after swimming

1301
01:01:51,760 --> 01:01:55,560
Speaker 1: and just relaxing when my girlfriend noticed my sister had

1302
01:01:55,640 --> 01:01:58,720
Speaker 1: all these old scars. My sister used to have really

1303
01:01:58,760 --> 01:02:03,440
Speaker 1: bad depression and still gets bad depression sometimes, though not

1304
01:02:03,560 --> 01:02:06,080
Speaker 1: as bad, so we can infer when she was at

1305
01:02:06,120 --> 01:02:08,240
Speaker 1: the height of major depression. She used to harm herself

1306
01:02:08,360 --> 01:02:11,120
Speaker 1: quite frequently. The scars are around her thigh area, and

1307
01:02:11,240 --> 01:02:14,760
Speaker 1: she's extremely sensitive and embarrassed about them. She worries people

1308
01:02:14,880 --> 01:02:17,160
Speaker 1: think she's a freak if she sees them, even though

1309
01:02:17,240 --> 01:02:19,880
Speaker 1: my parents and I always try to reassure her about them.

1310
01:02:20,120 --> 01:02:21,720
Speaker 1: Since they are high up on the thigh areas, you

1311
01:02:21,760 --> 01:02:24,760
Speaker 1: normally can't see them at all when she wears normal clothing,

1312
01:02:24,840 --> 01:02:27,040
Speaker 1: but since we were at the beach and she was

1313
01:02:27,080 --> 01:02:30,120
Speaker 1: wearing a bikini, they are now clearly visible. My girlfriend

1314
01:02:30,200 --> 01:02:34,120
Speaker 1: noticed the scars and pointed, asking what are those? My

1315
01:02:34,280 --> 01:02:37,680
Speaker 1: sister just responded, very matter of factly, those are scars

1316
01:02:37,800 --> 01:02:40,240
Speaker 1: from when I used to self harm, which I feel

1317
01:02:40,360 --> 01:02:43,440
Speaker 1: like for an insensitive question is like a very like

1318
01:02:44,040 --> 01:02:46,960
Speaker 1: matter of fact and maybe like she's holding it together.

1319
01:02:47,560 --> 01:02:51,240
Speaker 2: She's being very like kind to her. Essentially, my girlfriend said,

1320
01:02:51,760 --> 01:02:53,919
Speaker 2: why on earth would you do that? Why on earth

1321
01:02:54,000 --> 01:02:56,080
Speaker 2: would you ask a dumb question like that?

1322
01:02:56,280 --> 01:02:58,360
Speaker 6: It's done, but like the sister might be kind too

1323
01:02:58,440 --> 01:03:01,440
Speaker 6: again and like give like some but like okay response, you.

1324
01:03:01,480 --> 01:03:05,520
Speaker 1: Know, okay. First of all, sister, great response is very

1325
01:03:05,800 --> 01:03:09,479
Speaker 1: like emotionally mature responses to be giving to a person

1326
01:03:09,520 --> 01:03:12,320
Speaker 1: who is not being very emotionally sensitive, which is the girlfriend.

1327
01:03:12,480 --> 01:03:16,280
Speaker 1: The girlfriend must be just very uneducated on this topic,

1328
01:03:16,520 --> 01:03:19,720
Speaker 1: I'm hoping, or it's intentionally malicious. Both are bad, one

1329
01:03:19,840 --> 01:03:23,480
Speaker 1: is worse. I'm hoping it's just that she is dumb

1330
01:03:23,520 --> 01:03:24,000
Speaker 1: as a rock.

1331
01:03:24,240 --> 01:03:25,480
Speaker 2: That's what we're praying for right now.

1332
01:03:25,680 --> 01:03:28,400
Speaker 1: If it's just ignorance, that I think can be more

1333
01:03:28,440 --> 01:03:31,320
Speaker 1: of a forgiven thing. So my girlfriend said, why on

1334
01:03:31,400 --> 01:03:33,640
Speaker 1: earth would you do that? I piped in and pointed

1335
01:03:33,680 --> 01:03:35,560
Speaker 1: out that she went through a really difficult period and

1336
01:03:35,640 --> 01:03:38,120
Speaker 1: while back and had depression, but she feels much better nowadays,

1337
01:03:38,320 --> 01:03:40,600
Speaker 1: and we're thankful we were able to get past that

1338
01:03:40,720 --> 01:03:43,520
Speaker 1: period as a family. And you would expect the girlfriend

1339
01:03:43,640 --> 01:03:46,280
Speaker 1: to be like, oh, I understand, I had no idea

1340
01:03:46,320 --> 01:03:48,880
Speaker 1: I was asking something so insensitive. I wish I could

1341
01:03:48,920 --> 01:03:52,000
Speaker 1: learn from my mistakes. But no, the girlfriend said, it's

1342
01:03:52,040 --> 01:03:54,520
Speaker 1: a stupid thing to do. Why would you harm yourself?

1343
01:03:54,560 --> 01:03:56,560
Speaker 1: I think girls who do that just do it for attention.

1344
01:03:56,720 --> 01:03:58,760
Speaker 6: If that's what you think, you don't say it.

1345
01:03:59,000 --> 01:04:01,920
Speaker 2: You know, even if you thought that, I'm rooting for

1346
01:04:02,000 --> 01:04:04,120
Speaker 2: autistic that's our only hope.

1347
01:04:04,280 --> 01:04:05,160
Speaker 6: Are we breaking up now?

1348
01:04:05,600 --> 01:04:08,640
Speaker 2: Because also, this is your sister. You've gone through with

1349
01:04:08,800 --> 01:04:09,440
Speaker 2: this journey.

1350
01:04:09,600 --> 01:04:09,800
Speaker 5: You know.

1351
01:04:10,680 --> 01:04:14,640
Speaker 1: If someone said that to my sister, oh, dude, I

1352
01:04:14,880 --> 01:04:17,760
Speaker 1: think that is a conversation to break up.

1353
01:04:18,200 --> 01:04:19,920
Speaker 2: I'm feeling that we should break up.

1354
01:04:20,280 --> 01:04:24,040
Speaker 1: She's okay. My sister told her she had no idea

1355
01:04:24,160 --> 01:04:26,640
Speaker 1: what she was talking about and had no idea what

1356
01:04:26,760 --> 01:04:28,520
Speaker 1: it's like to live and wake up every day hating

1357
01:04:28,560 --> 01:04:31,600
Speaker 1: yourself and wanting to hurt yourself. But my girlfriend maintained

1358
01:04:31,720 --> 01:04:34,160
Speaker 1: she just thought it was a form of attention seeking,

1359
01:04:34,280 --> 01:04:36,360
Speaker 1: and she was like, I'm so glad I don't have

1360
01:04:36,480 --> 01:04:39,000
Speaker 1: scars like that. My sisters replied, well, good for you,

1361
01:04:39,160 --> 01:04:41,600
Speaker 1: and she was incredibly upset at this point and got up,

1362
01:04:41,640 --> 01:04:45,400
Speaker 1: storming away down the beach to sit somewhere else far away.

1363
01:04:45,720 --> 01:04:48,240
Speaker 1: I asked my girlfriend what had gotten into her and

1364
01:04:48,280 --> 01:04:50,760
Speaker 1: why she was saying that stuff. She insisted she wasn't

1365
01:04:50,800 --> 01:04:52,680
Speaker 1: trying to be mean, but my sister was too sensitive

1366
01:04:52,680 --> 01:04:54,200
Speaker 1: and took it the wrong way. In what way do

1367
01:04:54,240 --> 01:04:55,160
Speaker 1: you take that the right way?

1368
01:04:55,360 --> 01:04:59,800
Speaker 2: Her doubling down and then tripling down is insane.

1369
01:05:00,760 --> 01:05:03,240
Speaker 1: I wonder if there's any part that's like, is this

1370
01:05:03,520 --> 01:05:04,000
Speaker 1: kind of like.

1371
01:05:04,240 --> 01:05:06,600
Speaker 2: Either like I feel superior or I need to put

1372
01:05:06,680 --> 01:05:08,120
Speaker 2: you down to feel better about myself.

1373
01:05:08,160 --> 01:05:10,640
Speaker 1: I told her she was being incredibly stupid and should

1374
01:05:10,680 --> 01:05:12,959
Speaker 1: really think about what she says, especially if she knows

1375
01:05:13,120 --> 01:05:16,640
Speaker 1: the person has a history of depression. Some words can

1376
01:05:16,880 --> 01:05:19,400
Speaker 1: be really hurtful. I got up and left her to

1377
01:05:19,440 --> 01:05:22,080
Speaker 1: sit by my sister, leaving my girlfriend alone by herself,

1378
01:05:22,120 --> 01:05:24,640
Speaker 1: which is honestly good move. My sister wasn't in the

1379
01:05:24,680 --> 01:05:26,600
Speaker 1: mood for talking about what just happened, so instead we

1380
01:05:26,680 --> 01:05:28,680
Speaker 1: talked about some other stuff and showed some jokes. My

1381
01:05:28,800 --> 01:05:32,240
Speaker 1: sister then started talking about my girlfriend and said, you

1382
01:05:32,360 --> 01:05:33,400
Speaker 1: sure know how to pick them.

1383
01:05:33,520 --> 01:05:36,439
Speaker 2: Huh, blow key, earned this is coming with the hitters.

1384
01:05:36,480 --> 01:05:38,160
Speaker 2: She's got to roast them a little bit. Come on now.

1385
01:05:38,520 --> 01:05:40,240
Speaker 1: I told her I had no idea what had gotten

1386
01:05:40,240 --> 01:05:42,439
Speaker 1: over my girlfriend, and she was normally so very nice.

1387
01:05:42,840 --> 01:05:44,840
Speaker 1: She had been nice to my sister all these past days.

1388
01:05:45,080 --> 01:05:47,600
Speaker 1: I didn't know why suddenly she was acting like this.

1389
01:05:48,360 --> 01:05:50,680
Speaker 1: Maybe there was something she's hiding or something she wasn't

1390
01:05:50,720 --> 01:05:54,440
Speaker 1: telling me. I was sure eventually she'd realize what she

1391
01:05:54,480 --> 01:05:56,880
Speaker 1: said was hurtful and apologize. Dude, I don't think this

1392
01:05:57,000 --> 01:05:59,919
Speaker 1: is the attitude you have. This is bad, I think again,

1393
01:06:00,000 --> 01:06:03,040
Speaker 1: and the reason people are mean is because they're insecure.

1394
01:06:03,240 --> 01:06:06,520
Speaker 1: That's literally the only reason I think it's insecurity.

1395
01:06:06,640 --> 01:06:07,960
Speaker 4: This is what redpill does to people.

1396
01:06:08,160 --> 01:06:09,880
Speaker 1: When we got back home, I had a really private

1397
01:06:09,960 --> 01:06:13,000
Speaker 1: conversation with my girlfriend. I explained to her why what

1398
01:06:13,120 --> 01:06:14,880
Speaker 1: she said was hurtful to my sister, because my sister

1399
01:06:15,000 --> 01:06:18,920
Speaker 1: was in fact going through a very difficult emotional period

1400
01:06:18,960 --> 01:06:21,280
Speaker 1: when she did those cuts, and to imply it was

1401
01:06:21,360 --> 01:06:25,120
Speaker 1: all for attention was incredibly dismissive of the real emotion

1402
01:06:25,360 --> 01:06:27,919
Speaker 1: she was feeling. At the time. Opie is being very

1403
01:06:28,440 --> 01:06:32,640
Speaker 1: liberal with the amount of space and leash that he's

1404
01:06:32,680 --> 01:06:35,880
Speaker 1: giving his girlfriend to be an absolute crazy person. I

1405
01:06:36,040 --> 01:06:38,160
Speaker 1: told her my sister had every right to be upset

1406
01:06:38,240 --> 01:06:40,600
Speaker 1: with what she did, and I think a much deserved

1407
01:06:40,600 --> 01:06:44,320
Speaker 1: apology would go a long way in mending fences. Do

1408
01:06:44,520 --> 01:06:48,680
Speaker 1: we think that this girlfriend that commented that the scars

1409
01:06:49,120 --> 01:06:54,160
Speaker 1: from depression were just for attention to Opie's sister, Do

1410
01:06:54,280 --> 01:06:56,440
Speaker 1: we think that this girlfriend is going to apologize?

1411
01:06:56,600 --> 01:06:58,480
Speaker 2: Some fences are meant to be broken.

1412
01:06:58,280 --> 01:07:00,960
Speaker 1: And sometimes the people who break the fences to be

1413
01:07:01,080 --> 01:07:03,600
Speaker 1: let to roam free and never invited back into your

1414
01:07:03,680 --> 01:07:04,520
Speaker 1: fence land again.

1415
01:07:04,680 --> 01:07:07,360
Speaker 2: The mystical beast has been released from there.

1416
01:07:07,560 --> 01:07:09,320
Speaker 6: I'm gonna say no, I feel like I went to

1417
01:07:09,400 --> 01:07:10,360
Speaker 6: high school with this chick.

1418
01:07:10,840 --> 01:07:13,520
Speaker 1: My girlfriend agreed, and she went and apologized to my

1419
01:07:13,600 --> 01:07:16,960
Speaker 1: sister with what sounded like a really sincere and heartfelt apology.

1420
01:07:17,360 --> 01:07:20,640
Speaker 1: My sister accepted it okay and said that she herself

1421
01:07:20,680 --> 01:07:23,800
Speaker 1: had overreacted. I don't know, and that girlfriend shouldn't feel bad.

1422
01:07:24,200 --> 01:07:27,640
Speaker 1: I was glad, but fortunately that was not the end

1423
01:07:27,720 --> 01:07:30,040
Speaker 1: of it, though I wanted it to be. I mean again,

1424
01:07:30,280 --> 01:07:33,000
Speaker 1: she probably has not learned in the ten hours that

1425
01:07:33,080 --> 01:07:36,280
Speaker 1: it's been since we said those terrible things. The next day,

1426
01:07:36,720 --> 01:07:39,120
Speaker 1: we were at a restaurant having lunch. It was really

1427
01:07:39,160 --> 01:07:41,240
Speaker 1: busy and they were late with the food. When they

1428
01:07:41,280 --> 01:07:43,440
Speaker 1: finally brought it to her table, they had brought the

1429
01:07:43,520 --> 01:07:45,720
Speaker 1: wrong dish for my sister, not what she had ordered.

1430
01:07:45,720 --> 01:07:47,680
Speaker 1: My sister wanted to tell them so she could get

1431
01:07:47,720 --> 01:07:50,760
Speaker 1: the meal she actually ordered, but my girlfriend kept telling

1432
01:07:50,800 --> 01:07:53,000
Speaker 1: her to just go with it and eat what she got.

1433
01:07:53,200 --> 01:07:55,280
Speaker 1: My sister said, no, she had ordered something and she

1434
01:07:55,320 --> 01:07:57,240
Speaker 1: should be able to eat that. She didn't want to

1435
01:07:57,280 --> 01:07:59,680
Speaker 1: eat the other thing, but my girlfriend said it would

1436
01:08:00,200 --> 01:08:02,800
Speaker 1: just make them take even longer and they'd be there

1437
01:08:02,920 --> 01:08:05,320
Speaker 1: for even longer. God forbid, you're there at a family

1438
01:08:05,360 --> 01:08:08,480
Speaker 1: dinner for longer. They got into an argument and my

1439
01:08:08,600 --> 01:08:11,400
Speaker 1: sister told her it was none of her business, which

1440
01:08:11,480 --> 01:08:14,080
Speaker 1: is true. Let me have my own food. Then my

1441
01:08:14,200 --> 01:08:17,240
Speaker 1: girlfriend snapped at her and said, why do you always

1442
01:08:17,280 --> 01:08:19,000
Speaker 1: have to be the center of attention? Why does it

1443
01:08:19,040 --> 01:08:22,440
Speaker 1: always have to be about you? Dude? This girlfriend is manipulative.

1444
01:08:22,680 --> 01:08:25,800
Speaker 1: She apologizes and then is just like, but actually what

1445
01:08:25,880 --> 01:08:27,160
Speaker 1: I said is really true, isn't It.

1446
01:08:27,280 --> 01:08:30,240
Speaker 2: Didn't mean it at all. Use the apology for the

1447
01:08:30,320 --> 01:08:32,960
Speaker 2: get out of jail free card and is right back

1448
01:08:33,040 --> 01:08:33,800
Speaker 2: to felonies.

1449
01:08:34,080 --> 01:08:37,840
Speaker 6: Also, if she's doing this, I wonder if she's also

1450
01:08:38,080 --> 01:08:40,160
Speaker 6: isolating the boyfriend from his family.

1451
01:08:40,520 --> 01:08:44,240
Speaker 1: Probably she seems like a top tier manipulator. My sister

1452
01:08:44,280 --> 01:08:45,960
Speaker 1: got upset and asked her, while she's being so mean,

1453
01:08:46,120 --> 01:08:48,519
Speaker 1: she didn't know why my girlfriend hated her. She had

1454
01:08:48,560 --> 01:08:50,640
Speaker 1: really tried to be nice to her and like her,

1455
01:08:50,760 --> 01:08:52,639
Speaker 1: but it felt like she was being mean for no reason.

1456
01:08:52,920 --> 01:08:56,200
Speaker 1: My girlfriend responded that she thought my sister was entitled,

1457
01:08:56,479 --> 01:08:59,640
Speaker 1: self absorbed, and darned. My sister then looked like she

1458
01:08:59,720 --> 01:09:02,200
Speaker 1: was a cry and tears came to her eyes. My

1459
01:09:02,280 --> 01:09:04,920
Speaker 1: girlfriend just said, I don't give an f of you cry.

1460
01:09:05,160 --> 01:09:06,160
Speaker 6: Seriously, where's the line?

1461
01:09:06,439 --> 01:09:08,599
Speaker 1: What are you going to do harm yourself?

1462
01:09:08,960 --> 01:09:11,960
Speaker 2: Gone? Gone, gone, gone right now, gone right now?

1463
01:09:12,479 --> 01:09:15,559
Speaker 1: Immediately, Oh my god. My sister then burst out crying

1464
01:09:15,640 --> 01:09:17,559
Speaker 1: loudly in the middle of the restaurant. It was very

1465
01:09:17,640 --> 01:09:20,000
Speaker 1: awkward with many people around us, all looking at us.

1466
01:09:20,280 --> 01:09:22,320
Speaker 1: She was very, very hurt, crying over my shoulder. I

1467
01:09:22,400 --> 01:09:24,679
Speaker 1: put my arms around her, comforted her, telling my girlfriend

1468
01:09:24,680 --> 01:09:26,559
Speaker 1: I was upset with her and thought she should leave

1469
01:09:26,640 --> 01:09:29,200
Speaker 1: us alone. For a while. Wow, Op is doing the

1470
01:09:29,240 --> 01:09:32,760
Speaker 1: most measured responses here. My girlfriend got up and left, saying,

1471
01:09:32,960 --> 01:09:35,960
Speaker 1: make sure drama queen doesn't unlive herself. I stay with

1472
01:09:36,080 --> 01:09:39,280
Speaker 1: my sister and calmed her down until she stopped crying.

1473
01:09:39,600 --> 01:09:42,040
Speaker 1: She must have kept crying for at least half an hour,

1474
01:09:42,160 --> 01:09:44,960
Speaker 1: it was that bad. We didn't even end up eating

1475
01:09:45,080 --> 01:09:47,040
Speaker 1: much of our meal that we paid for, and I

1476
01:09:47,120 --> 01:09:49,080
Speaker 1: took her to the bathroom to try up and wash

1477
01:09:49,120 --> 01:09:51,800
Speaker 1: her face. So obviously this is terrible. This is someone

1478
01:09:51,840 --> 01:09:55,360
Speaker 1: who keeps running over the line. I think on this show, generally,

1479
01:09:55,439 --> 01:09:57,439
Speaker 1: we want to be understanding right. We want to give

1480
01:09:57,479 --> 01:10:00,439
Speaker 1: people chances, we want to allow people to grow and learn.

1481
01:10:00,720 --> 01:10:03,719
Speaker 1: What it feels like is Op has given a measured

1482
01:10:03,800 --> 01:10:08,559
Speaker 1: spot response three different times, and this the first time,

1483
01:10:08,680 --> 01:10:11,559
Speaker 1: maybe a measured response is warranted, the second and third

1484
01:10:11,600 --> 01:10:13,519
Speaker 1: time for sure not. And at what point is the

1485
01:10:13,560 --> 01:10:16,679
Speaker 1: measured response hurting the sister by not getting this person

1486
01:10:17,040 --> 01:10:20,360
Speaker 1: out immediately? It's like by you being so you know,

1487
01:10:20,600 --> 01:10:23,200
Speaker 1: like playing it safe, trying to keep everyone happy, like

1488
01:10:23,320 --> 01:10:26,960
Speaker 1: make sure the girlfriend's happy, you were actually hurting your sister.

1489
01:10:27,080 --> 01:10:29,680
Speaker 1: You're putting her in harm's way from this person that

1490
01:10:29,800 --> 01:10:32,519
Speaker 1: wants like nothing more than they just see your sister

1491
01:10:32,920 --> 01:10:36,160
Speaker 1: hurt one thousand percent. She kept saying to me, why

1492
01:10:36,240 --> 01:10:37,920
Speaker 1: does she hate me so much? What have I done

1493
01:10:37,960 --> 01:10:40,160
Speaker 1: to her? Am I really that bad? Calmed her down,

1494
01:10:40,280 --> 01:10:42,400
Speaker 1: hugged her and told her there was nothing wrong with her.

1495
01:10:42,680 --> 01:10:44,040
Speaker 1: She had done nothing wrong. But I need to have

1496
01:10:44,080 --> 01:10:46,439
Speaker 1: a serious talk with my girlfriend today. I couldn't believe

1497
01:10:46,479 --> 01:10:48,320
Speaker 1: how she was acting. She had a problem with me,

1498
01:10:48,439 --> 01:10:49,560
Speaker 1: She should take it out of me and not on

1499
01:10:49,640 --> 01:10:51,760
Speaker 1: my sister. She was still sorrowful. But we went home

1500
01:10:51,800 --> 01:10:53,439
Speaker 1: after that and I went to talk to my girlfriend.

1501
01:10:53,840 --> 01:10:56,439
Speaker 1: Break up, Please break up. I saw my girlfriend down

1502
01:10:56,479 --> 01:10:58,719
Speaker 1: in my room and we had a big talk. Instantly,

1503
01:10:58,800 --> 01:11:01,160
Speaker 1: she said, I know, I know. I am so sorry.

1504
01:11:01,200 --> 01:11:03,519
Speaker 1: I'm really sorry. I don't know what's come over me.

1505
01:11:03,760 --> 01:11:05,600
Speaker 1: I'm not going to cut it anymore. You could have

1506
01:11:05,680 --> 01:11:08,719
Speaker 1: said that the first time. Maybe definitely done. She seemed

1507
01:11:08,760 --> 01:11:10,519
Speaker 1: to know she was acting cruel, admitted it, and she

1508
01:11:10,600 --> 01:11:13,120
Speaker 1: felt terrible. She had no idea why she'd acted this way.

1509
01:11:13,160 --> 01:11:14,720
Speaker 1: I told her I knew she was normally such a

1510
01:11:14,800 --> 01:11:17,080
Speaker 1: kind person, but why she had totally turned into a

1511
01:11:17,160 --> 01:11:19,720
Speaker 1: well a witch. She agreed and said she deserved that

1512
01:11:19,760 --> 01:11:22,360
Speaker 1: word entirely. She told me she thought she knew the reason.

1513
01:11:22,479 --> 01:11:25,519
Speaker 1: She said, lately, she's been extremely jealous of the close

1514
01:11:25,600 --> 01:11:27,599
Speaker 1: bond I had with my sister. You said. She felt

1515
01:11:27,640 --> 01:11:29,600
Speaker 1: hurt and envious because we didn't have that kind of

1516
01:11:29,640 --> 01:11:32,120
Speaker 1: relationship ourselves. She said, you two grew up together, You

1517
01:11:32,160 --> 01:11:34,800
Speaker 1: have all these years of memories and experiences together, always

1518
01:11:34,840 --> 01:11:36,479
Speaker 1: being part of your lives. I wish we had that.

1519
01:11:36,800 --> 01:11:38,880
Speaker 1: You know. I believe her, and she's someone that is

1520
01:11:38,920 --> 01:11:41,320
Speaker 1: willing to do whatever it takes to make sure she

1521
01:11:41,479 --> 01:11:44,120
Speaker 1: has what you and your sister have, or she destroys

1522
01:11:44,600 --> 01:11:46,760
Speaker 1: what you and your sister have. I told her, we

1523
01:11:46,960 --> 01:11:50,599
Speaker 1: will have that, but she shouldn't compare herself to my sister.

1524
01:11:50,920 --> 01:11:53,240
Speaker 1: They are two entirely different things. I told her, however

1525
01:11:53,400 --> 01:11:55,599
Speaker 1: she felt about the way I was acting, she had

1526
01:11:55,640 --> 01:11:57,360
Speaker 1: no right to take that out of my sister. That

1527
01:11:57,479 --> 01:12:00,040
Speaker 1: was incredibly immature and hurtful. She agreed and said, and

1528
01:12:00,120 --> 01:12:02,960
Speaker 1: she felt absolutely awful about herself. She told me. One

1529
01:12:03,120 --> 01:12:05,400
Speaker 1: thing that I had really set her off was when

1530
01:12:05,439 --> 01:12:08,479
Speaker 1: I gave my sister my present for her birthday. I

1531
01:12:08,560 --> 01:12:12,320
Speaker 1: bought her a hardcover edition of Anne of Green Gables,

1532
01:12:12,600 --> 01:12:15,880
Speaker 1: her favorite and most beloved book from her childhood, and

1533
01:12:16,000 --> 01:12:18,639
Speaker 1: I had written a special note inside. My girlfriend said

1534
01:12:18,680 --> 01:12:21,519
Speaker 1: she remembered how much that made my sister feel happy

1535
01:12:21,520 --> 01:12:23,400
Speaker 1: and ecstatic. When I gave it to her. She had

1536
01:12:23,479 --> 01:12:26,000
Speaker 1: cried not because of the book itself, but because I

1537
01:12:26,080 --> 01:12:29,400
Speaker 1: remembered its sentimental value and how much she had loved

1538
01:12:29,520 --> 01:12:32,280
Speaker 1: that book from her childhood, even though she probably didn't

1539
01:12:32,400 --> 01:12:35,519
Speaker 1: mention it or asked for it. My girlfriend compared that

1540
01:12:35,600 --> 01:12:38,840
Speaker 1: to the gift I'd gotten for her birthday, a jewelry item, which,

1541
01:12:38,840 --> 01:12:41,760
Speaker 1: while more expensive, was generic and probably didn't have as

1542
01:12:41,840 --> 01:12:44,400
Speaker 1: much thought put into it. Since every guy can guess

1543
01:12:44,439 --> 01:12:46,840
Speaker 1: a woman would appreciate jewelry. I told her I had

1544
01:12:46,880 --> 01:12:48,840
Speaker 1: no idea she felt that way, but I was sure

1545
01:12:48,880 --> 01:12:51,840
Speaker 1: that over time our relationship would grow. Please don't let

1546
01:12:51,880 --> 01:12:54,920
Speaker 1: it grow, and we'd learn those little things about each other.

1547
01:12:55,200 --> 01:12:58,120
Speaker 1: We can make new memories to share. I told her, however,

1548
01:12:58,200 --> 01:13:00,479
Speaker 1: the way she was acting towards my sister that anything

1549
01:13:00,680 --> 01:13:03,680
Speaker 1: was jeopardizing our relationship. I can't be in a relationship

1550
01:13:03,760 --> 01:13:06,000
Speaker 1: with someone who treats her that meanly, I said. She

1551
01:13:06,080 --> 01:13:07,920
Speaker 1: has to keep in mind that my sister does, in

1552
01:13:08,000 --> 01:13:10,280
Speaker 1: fact have a very bad history of depression, and she

1553
01:13:10,360 --> 01:13:12,960
Speaker 1: still falls back into it from time to time. She

1554
01:13:13,120 --> 01:13:15,400
Speaker 1: may be more sensitive than most people. She may be

1555
01:13:15,479 --> 01:13:17,360
Speaker 1: more sensitive than most people, and her emotions may be

1556
01:13:17,439 --> 01:13:19,360
Speaker 1: more delicate, but that's just something we have to take

1557
01:13:19,400 --> 01:13:22,559
Speaker 1: into consideration when around her. My girlfriend said she perfectly

1558
01:13:22,600 --> 01:13:24,559
Speaker 1: agreed and she would try to control herself and act

1559
01:13:24,720 --> 01:13:28,000
Speaker 1: much better around my sister, giving her a heartfelt apology.

1560
01:13:28,240 --> 01:13:30,360
Speaker 1: I told her I hoped for both of us she

1561
01:13:30,479 --> 01:13:33,240
Speaker 1: was being honest and really would turn around her behavior

1562
01:13:33,280 --> 01:13:35,639
Speaker 1: towards my sister. I said she had been really nice

1563
01:13:35,680 --> 01:13:37,920
Speaker 1: and friendly to her when she first came, and she

1564
01:13:38,080 --> 01:13:40,560
Speaker 1: could be like that again, it would be perfect. I

1565
01:13:40,640 --> 01:13:42,520
Speaker 1: want to talk to my sister, but she was absolutely

1566
01:13:42,640 --> 01:13:44,560
Speaker 1: in no mood to talk to my girlfriend, who was

1567
01:13:44,600 --> 01:13:46,760
Speaker 1: still upset from earlier and did not want to hear

1568
01:13:46,800 --> 01:13:49,639
Speaker 1: another apology. She thought it would be meaningless. I told

1569
01:13:49,680 --> 01:13:52,040
Speaker 1: her that my girlfriend really does feel terrible and would

1570
01:13:52,040 --> 01:13:53,840
Speaker 1: like to make it up to her. My sister told

1571
01:13:53,880 --> 01:13:56,599
Speaker 1: me I had no idea how much my girlfriend hurt

1572
01:13:56,640 --> 01:13:59,320
Speaker 1: her with those words and by expecting her to forgive

1573
01:13:59,400 --> 01:14:02,320
Speaker 1: her just like I was really hurting her. I told

1574
01:14:02,360 --> 01:14:04,360
Speaker 1: her I understood that so much, and I apologize and

1575
01:14:04,439 --> 01:14:06,280
Speaker 1: I'm ready to give her all the time she needs.

1576
01:14:06,320 --> 01:14:09,280
Speaker 1: It's not time your sister needs, it's action.

1577
01:14:09,680 --> 01:14:11,840
Speaker 2: And also this whole like make it up to her.

1578
01:14:11,880 --> 01:14:14,400
Speaker 2: It's like, how can you make it up to someone

1579
01:14:14,479 --> 01:14:19,280
Speaker 2: when you say such emotionally painful things. There is no

1580
01:14:19,439 --> 01:14:20,000
Speaker 2: making it up.

1581
01:14:20,320 --> 01:14:24,040
Speaker 1: The only thing that would make this up to Opie's

1582
01:14:24,040 --> 01:14:26,600
Speaker 1: sister would be ope breaking up with a girlfriend that

1583
01:14:26,680 --> 01:14:29,640
Speaker 1: would show, hey, like I care about you enough to

1584
01:14:29,760 --> 01:14:32,679
Speaker 1: end a relationship that I was in for ten months.

1585
01:14:32,760 --> 01:14:36,599
Speaker 1: And I'm gonna choose my sister over this ten month

1586
01:14:36,760 --> 01:14:40,960
Speaker 1: fling with a person that is acting crazy and super cruel.

1587
01:14:41,280 --> 01:14:43,160
Speaker 1: I told her, I understand that so much, and I

1588
01:14:43,240 --> 01:14:44,880
Speaker 1: apologize and I am ready to give her all the

1589
01:14:44,920 --> 01:14:47,160
Speaker 1: time she needs. Even if she doesn't forgive her I

1590
01:14:47,240 --> 01:14:50,280
Speaker 1: am okay with that and will accept it. My sister

1591
01:14:50,360 --> 01:14:52,680
Speaker 1: told me she wished I'd never come back for her

1592
01:14:52,720 --> 01:14:55,920
Speaker 1: birthday and that I'd never brought my girlfriend with me.

1593
01:14:56,280 --> 01:14:58,320
Speaker 1: She said she was happier when she was just alone

1594
01:14:58,360 --> 01:15:00,840
Speaker 1: with our parents. Me stopping back into her life with

1595
01:15:00,880 --> 01:15:04,360
Speaker 1: my new girlfriend just turned everything upside down for her.

1596
01:15:04,880 --> 01:15:07,400
Speaker 1: And on her birthday too, I told her I still

1597
01:15:07,439 --> 01:15:09,200
Speaker 1: had two weeks here and she really wanted I could

1598
01:15:09,200 --> 01:15:11,200
Speaker 1: send my girlfriend back on her own so I could

1599
01:15:11,200 --> 01:15:13,600
Speaker 1: spend the two weeks I had left just with us.

1600
01:15:13,720 --> 01:15:15,600
Speaker 1: I said no, she didn't want me to do that

1601
01:15:15,960 --> 01:15:18,040
Speaker 1: to my girlfriend. I suggested we go to the beach

1602
01:15:18,040 --> 01:15:20,800
Speaker 1: again sometime, but my sister said absolutely not. She swore

1603
01:15:20,880 --> 01:15:23,599
Speaker 1: she'd never go to the beach again. I asked her why,

1604
01:15:23,760 --> 01:15:26,559
Speaker 1: and she just said, because my scars burst out crying again.

1605
01:15:26,760 --> 01:15:29,200
Speaker 1: It was awful to see. Just the mere mention of

1606
01:15:29,280 --> 01:15:31,679
Speaker 1: it set her off like that and made the tears

1607
01:15:31,720 --> 01:15:33,360
Speaker 1: flow out. I told her she had nothing to be

1608
01:15:33,439 --> 01:15:35,560
Speaker 1: ashamed of because of those scars. She went through a

1609
01:15:35,640 --> 01:15:37,599
Speaker 1: very difficult period and she's an amazing person and we're

1610
01:15:37,600 --> 01:15:40,040
Speaker 1: all proud of her. Just said, I'm a freak. Why

1611
01:15:40,080 --> 01:15:43,000
Speaker 1: did I even self harm? I told her she didn't

1612
01:15:43,040 --> 01:15:45,479
Speaker 1: need to try to hide them again. You are saying

1613
01:15:45,560 --> 01:15:48,599
Speaker 1: all these things, but the action that's going to make

1614
01:15:48,680 --> 01:15:52,719
Speaker 1: her believe that is breaking up this person that said

1615
01:15:53,080 --> 01:15:55,080
Speaker 1: she did need to hide them, that said she was

1616
01:15:55,160 --> 01:15:58,320
Speaker 1: a freak. For that, that said that she is being

1617
01:15:58,479 --> 01:16:02,280
Speaker 1: an attention seeker. That is the action that your sister

1618
01:16:02,400 --> 01:16:04,439
Speaker 1: needs to know that you're on her side.

1619
01:16:04,720 --> 01:16:08,160
Speaker 6: And another point, the part where he's like, do you

1620
01:16:08,280 --> 01:16:10,320
Speaker 6: want me to send my girlfriend back for two weeks?

1621
01:16:10,680 --> 01:16:14,320
Speaker 6: He's not taken any accountability or like standing up for

1622
01:16:14,439 --> 01:16:17,640
Speaker 6: himself or his sister whatsoever. He's like, well, what do

1623
01:16:17,720 --> 01:16:18,360
Speaker 6: you want me to do?

1624
01:16:18,560 --> 01:16:21,200
Speaker 2: She's probably not in the place like emotionally strong enough

1625
01:16:21,280 --> 01:16:23,280
Speaker 2: to be like, oh, yes, get rid of them.

1626
01:16:23,360 --> 01:16:24,240
Speaker 4: Where are the parrots?

1627
01:16:24,680 --> 01:16:28,200
Speaker 2: If this was my kid's girlfriend. Okay, sweetie, it's toime

1628
01:16:28,200 --> 01:16:28,680
Speaker 2: to pack up.

1629
01:16:29,040 --> 01:16:31,920
Speaker 1: Anyone who would judge her for those scars isn't worth

1630
01:16:31,960 --> 01:16:32,360
Speaker 1: her time?

1631
01:16:32,720 --> 01:16:33,960
Speaker 4: Also should be worth your time.

1632
01:16:34,200 --> 01:16:36,599
Speaker 1: Nevertheless, she didn't want to ever be in a situation

1633
01:16:36,640 --> 01:16:38,599
Speaker 1: where someone could see her scars again. The next day,

1634
01:16:38,600 --> 01:16:40,280
Speaker 1: I went shopping with my girlfriend. We were picking out

1635
01:16:40,320 --> 01:16:42,720
Speaker 1: some swim shorts for my sister. I thought maybe she

1636
01:16:42,760 --> 01:16:45,479
Speaker 1: wore shorts instead of bikini bottoms with her bikini, and

1637
01:16:45,600 --> 01:16:49,000
Speaker 1: she could hide the scars so misplaced not the point,

1638
01:16:49,600 --> 01:16:51,840
Speaker 1: and she wouldn't have to be afraid of people seeing them.

1639
01:16:51,880 --> 01:16:53,720
Speaker 1: My girlfriend thought it was a wonderful idea. We bought

1640
01:16:53,720 --> 01:16:56,040
Speaker 1: a variety of different pairs because we didn't know which

1641
01:16:56,080 --> 01:16:57,639
Speaker 1: ones my sister were like, and we took them home.

1642
01:16:57,720 --> 01:17:00,360
Speaker 1: My sister was very happy, with them. However, she's still

1643
01:17:00,400 --> 01:17:02,719
Speaker 1: feeling very upset and still seems to harbor some dislike

1644
01:17:02,760 --> 01:17:04,800
Speaker 1: and anxiety towards my girlfriend because of the thing she did.

1645
01:17:05,040 --> 01:17:07,759
Speaker 2: I bought her a couple pairs of like cool shorts,

1646
01:17:08,240 --> 01:17:09,559
Speaker 2: so like we're good.

1647
01:17:09,960 --> 01:17:12,200
Speaker 1: I've been considering asking my girlfriend to go back, maybe

1648
01:17:12,200 --> 01:17:13,720
Speaker 1: so I can spend the remaining two weeks at my

1649
01:17:13,920 --> 01:17:16,160
Speaker 1: home with my family, since my sister seems less willing

1650
01:17:16,200 --> 01:17:18,799
Speaker 1: to do things if she's around. She's still feeling extremely

1651
01:17:18,880 --> 01:17:21,559
Speaker 1: self conscious about what was said. I'm worried that every

1652
01:17:21,600 --> 01:17:24,719
Speaker 1: time my sister sees my girlfriend, she'll remember those horrible

1653
01:17:24,760 --> 01:17:27,479
Speaker 1: comments and feel self hatred over the scars again, which

1654
01:17:27,560 --> 01:17:29,920
Speaker 1: probably means I might not ever be able to have

1655
01:17:30,040 --> 01:17:32,840
Speaker 1: a relationship with my girlfriend. I really don't know what

1656
01:17:32,960 --> 01:17:35,640
Speaker 1: to do, So my question to you guys is how

1657
01:17:35,720 --> 01:17:38,160
Speaker 1: best do you think I should handle this very complicated

1658
01:17:38,240 --> 01:17:41,519
Speaker 1: and delicate situation. It isn't that complicated, my guy. Should

1659
01:17:41,560 --> 01:17:45,280
Speaker 1: I send my girlfriend back home, yes and permanently please,

1660
01:17:45,640 --> 01:17:47,559
Speaker 1: or should I keep her here to try to further

1661
01:17:47,680 --> 01:17:50,120
Speaker 1: mend fences between them? Is there anything I can do

1662
01:17:50,280 --> 01:17:52,560
Speaker 1: to make them like each other more? Or should just

1663
01:17:52,640 --> 01:17:54,160
Speaker 1: accept the fact that it will always be a rift

1664
01:17:54,200 --> 01:17:56,400
Speaker 1: between them and try to keep them apart. How can

1665
01:17:56,439 --> 01:17:58,479
Speaker 1: I help my sister feel better in this situation where

1666
01:17:58,520 --> 01:18:02,479
Speaker 1: she's still feeling upset and like crap? Basically, what should

1667
01:18:02,520 --> 01:18:05,400
Speaker 1: I do? What do you think would be in the

1668
01:18:05,520 --> 01:18:08,280
Speaker 1: interest of everyone involved for me to do? There is

1669
01:18:08,880 --> 01:18:12,439
Speaker 1: an update. Oh my god, the internet is gonna tear

1670
01:18:12,560 --> 01:18:13,599
Speaker 1: this boy a new one.

1671
01:18:14,040 --> 01:18:17,680
Speaker 2: I want to see this sense just beamed into his

1672
01:18:17,920 --> 01:18:18,639
Speaker 2: brain hole.

1673
01:18:19,520 --> 01:18:23,320
Speaker 1: His a hole is gonna be so wide from everyone

1674
01:18:23,520 --> 01:18:27,360
Speaker 1: forcing sense into that man. But hopefully he will come

1675
01:18:27,439 --> 01:18:30,320
Speaker 1: away a little lighter, with a less of a girlfriend

1676
01:18:30,520 --> 01:18:33,479
Speaker 1: and more sense. So update, Thanks for all the advice

1677
01:18:33,560 --> 01:18:35,680
Speaker 1: I got from you yesterday. You'll be happy to know

1678
01:18:35,760 --> 01:18:38,479
Speaker 1: that my girlfriend is now my ex girlfriend, thank god.

1679
01:18:39,080 --> 01:18:41,800
Speaker 1: But your sister is gonna be hurt by how you

1680
01:18:41,920 --> 01:18:44,919
Speaker 1: reacted forever, even though you did the right thing. Eventually,

1681
01:18:45,040 --> 01:18:48,040
Speaker 1: it was a little bit too long. She's gone. It's over.

1682
01:18:48,160 --> 01:18:49,760
Speaker 1: I sent her home. I won't be seeing her again.

1683
01:18:50,120 --> 01:18:52,240
Speaker 1: First thing I did was apologize to my sister and

1684
01:18:52,280 --> 01:18:54,800
Speaker 1: tell her how sorry I was for having been a

1685
01:18:54,960 --> 01:18:57,240
Speaker 1: crap and useless brother. I should have been there for her,

1686
01:18:57,360 --> 01:18:59,519
Speaker 1: but I failed her by giving my girlfriend more chances,

1687
01:18:59,560 --> 01:19:01,920
Speaker 1: even after how cruel she had been. I told her

1688
01:19:01,960 --> 01:19:03,800
Speaker 1: how ashamed I felt and how I had failed her

1689
01:19:03,920 --> 01:19:06,040
Speaker 1: as a brother, and I promised her I would never

1690
01:19:06,120 --> 01:19:08,320
Speaker 1: do that again. I swore to her that I'd never

1691
01:19:08,439 --> 01:19:10,360
Speaker 1: put her in a situation where someone can do this

1692
01:19:10,439 --> 01:19:12,559
Speaker 1: to her again. I made a promise, and I really

1693
01:19:12,640 --> 01:19:15,000
Speaker 1: do mean it. This time, she forgave me and told

1694
01:19:15,080 --> 01:19:18,040
Speaker 1: me how glad she had honestly been really been hoping

1695
01:19:18,080 --> 01:19:19,599
Speaker 1: that I break up with her and send her home,

1696
01:19:19,800 --> 01:19:21,560
Speaker 1: but she didn't want to push me about it and

1697
01:19:21,680 --> 01:19:23,800
Speaker 1: reassured me that I am, in fact a good brother

1698
01:19:24,120 --> 01:19:26,240
Speaker 1: and I shouldn't be too hard of myself and call

1699
01:19:26,320 --> 01:19:29,320
Speaker 1: myself a crap brother. This is the most understanding family

1700
01:19:29,400 --> 01:19:32,200
Speaker 1: in the universe. I told her, it is honestly what

1701
01:19:32,320 --> 01:19:34,160
Speaker 1: I am, because I failed her when I should have

1702
01:19:34,240 --> 01:19:36,880
Speaker 1: been there for her. I explained the entire situation to

1703
01:19:36,920 --> 01:19:39,519
Speaker 1: my parents and told them everything that had happened and

1704
01:19:39,760 --> 01:19:42,519
Speaker 1: how my girlfriend was no longer my girlfriend because of

1705
01:19:42,560 --> 01:19:45,040
Speaker 1: what she had done. We are now through. I explained

1706
01:19:45,040 --> 01:19:46,800
Speaker 1: to them that the remaining two weeks we can all

1707
01:19:46,880 --> 01:19:49,360
Speaker 1: spend together as a family, and I'm really looking forward

1708
01:19:49,360 --> 01:19:51,840
Speaker 1: to that. Both my parents supported me and told me

1709
01:19:51,920 --> 01:19:55,479
Speaker 1: I've made a great decision. I told them I should

1710
01:19:55,520 --> 01:19:57,559
Speaker 1: have made it earlier, and I failed my sister by

1711
01:19:57,600 --> 01:20:00,760
Speaker 1: waiting too long, but they forgave me. Thank you, and

1712
01:20:00,840 --> 01:20:03,880
Speaker 1: we're understanding. The silver lining is he did it, and

1713
01:20:03,960 --> 01:20:04,879
Speaker 1: he did a good apology.

1714
01:20:04,960 --> 01:20:08,960
Speaker 2: Maybe not one hundred percent, but I think he's finally understanding, like, oh,

1715
01:20:09,320 --> 01:20:13,120
Speaker 2: I really messed up, Like it was not okay that

1716
01:20:13,320 --> 01:20:15,600
Speaker 2: I let her continue to stay in the space and

1717
01:20:15,800 --> 01:20:19,000
Speaker 2: continue to cause so much pain for my sister.

1718
01:20:19,280 --> 01:20:21,600
Speaker 1: By the way, you can listen to full episodes. The

1719
01:20:21,640 --> 01:20:23,639
Speaker 1: story is just like this. You got a Spotify, Apple

1720
01:20:23,640 --> 01:20:26,440
Speaker 1: podcast for your favorite podcast app and search. Okay, storytime,

1721
01:20:26,479 --> 01:20:28,439
Speaker 1: we're gonna go right into the end of the story.

1722
01:20:28,560 --> 01:20:30,680
Speaker 1: So some people had mentioned the shorts I bought, You

1723
01:20:30,720 --> 01:20:33,000
Speaker 1: are right. I was totally sending her the wrong message

1724
01:20:33,240 --> 01:20:35,280
Speaker 1: by getting her something she can wear that covers up

1725
01:20:35,320 --> 01:20:37,800
Speaker 1: the scars. I told her those shorts I bought are

1726
01:20:37,960 --> 01:20:39,800
Speaker 1: just if she wanted to use them. But I don't

1727
01:20:39,800 --> 01:20:41,719
Speaker 1: think she needed them, and I don't think she should

1728
01:20:41,800 --> 01:20:43,880
Speaker 1: use them. I told her, in my opinion, she had

1729
01:20:43,920 --> 01:20:46,400
Speaker 1: nothing to be ashamed of from those scars. I think

1730
01:20:46,439 --> 01:20:48,320
Speaker 1: the scars are very beautiful, and I think she is

1731
01:20:48,320 --> 01:20:50,719
Speaker 1: beautiful with them. She should be very proud of herself

1732
01:20:50,720 --> 01:20:53,479
Speaker 1: because she struggled through an immensely difficult period and overcame

1733
01:20:53,560 --> 01:20:55,680
Speaker 1: many hurdles throughout her life, and she ended up on

1734
01:20:55,840 --> 01:20:58,400
Speaker 1: top of it all as a winner. I told her,

1735
01:20:58,439 --> 01:21:00,320
Speaker 1: in my opinion, she is a hero and to always

1736
01:21:00,360 --> 01:21:03,080
Speaker 1: be my hero, the strongest and bravest person I've ever known.

1737
01:21:03,360 --> 01:21:05,040
Speaker 1: She was really happy to hear that, and so were

1738
01:21:05,080 --> 01:21:07,519
Speaker 1: my parents. She said she's not feeling as bad about

1739
01:21:07,520 --> 01:21:10,280
Speaker 1: those scars as she was the previous days, and she's

1740
01:21:10,360 --> 01:21:15,240
Speaker 1: ready to go to the beach again. Happy ending. I'm

1741
01:21:15,400 --> 01:21:18,040
Speaker 1: happy that it ended in a good place where everyone's

1742
01:21:18,080 --> 01:21:20,519
Speaker 1: feeling better. I mean, thank god, he's maturing. I guess

1743
01:21:20,560 --> 01:21:24,080
Speaker 1: he's only twenty, but he really almost did the worst

1744
01:21:24,160 --> 01:21:24,919
Speaker 1: thing possible.

1745
01:21:25,080 --> 01:21:30,320
Speaker 2: I hope he continues to grow from this, and I

1746
01:21:30,520 --> 01:21:33,680
Speaker 2: do like that he is continuing to hold himself accountable

1747
01:21:33,760 --> 01:21:35,760
Speaker 2: even though his sister and his parents are kind of

1748
01:21:35,840 --> 01:21:37,240
Speaker 2: letting him off the hook. I think he needs to

1749
01:21:37,320 --> 01:21:38,920
Speaker 2: kind of center himself in that life.

1750
01:21:38,920 --> 01:21:40,719
Speaker 1: I think he is growing, which is big.

1751
01:21:41,000 --> 01:21:43,880
Speaker 4: And stay there, stay there for the love of God,

1752
01:21:44,439 --> 01:21:45,439
Speaker 4: stay on the past.