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Speaker 1: Today, we call a guy who works in the tech industry.

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Speaker 1: He's got a good job right now, but is hoping

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Speaker 1: to land an even better one the job market though. Eh,

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Speaker 1: it's a little bit tough on him lately, where he'll

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Speaker 1: get some interviews and then be rejected and never know why.

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Speaker 1: Well that's about to change, not the rejection part, just

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Speaker 1: the finding out why part, because our company believes in

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Speaker 1: total brutal honesty and it's in your phone tap right now. Hello,

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Speaker 1: Hi is this Steve? Oh yeah, this is Steve Fantastic?

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Speaker 1: Hi Steve, this is chet Ferglaru. I'm sorry who chet Ferglaru?

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Speaker 1: I'm calling on behalf of consulting. Oh, I work in

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Speaker 1: our human fulfillment department. Okay, how are you emotionally and

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Speaker 1: spiritually today? I'm good? M mm hmmmmmm wonderful. We always

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Speaker 1: start with that question because wellness is one of our

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Speaker 1: core brand principles, along with synergy, integrity, and deeply confusing metaphors.

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Speaker 1: I don't uh, that last one was a joke kind

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Speaker 1: of anyway. You applied to our strategic Cloud Alignment specialist

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Speaker 1: role and I'm calling with an update on that process.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, So, unfortunately you did not get the position. Oh,

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Speaker 1: but don't hang up, because this is where it gets fun. Fun. Right.

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Speaker 1: We're piloting something new here at once. It's called the

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Speaker 1: pre rejection feedback session. Oh. I don't know anything what

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Speaker 1: that is, right, because we're just starting it here. Basically,

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Speaker 1: we let you hear exactly what went wrong during your interview.

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Speaker 1: No fluff, no corporate speak, just raw brutal honesty from

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Speaker 1: our team. Seriously, Yes, we believe in transparency here, like

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Speaker 1: an emotional X ray that shows not just your heart

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Speaker 1: but the weird little grudge that it's holding from back

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Speaker 1: in twenty fourteen. That's right to the problem. That's different,

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Speaker 1: sure is now? I have here a few anonymous reviewer notes,

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Speaker 1: and these were all taken during your Zoom interview. Can

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Speaker 1: I read some of them to you? I guess perfect? Okay.

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Speaker 1: First one says candidate maintained suspiciously strong eye contact, as

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Speaker 1: if trying to hypnotize us your thoughts on that, Steve,

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Speaker 1: I was just looking at the screen, right, Yes, but

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Speaker 1: some of our senior staff are very sensitive to laser eyes.

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Speaker 1: But I don't have laser eyes. You gave the impression

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Speaker 1: that you did. But moving on, next, Zoom reviewer said,

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Speaker 1: a few times you laughed nervously and gave a strong

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Speaker 1: guy who microwaves fish at work energy. I don't eat

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Speaker 1: fish at all. Yeah, that doesn't matter, because that's the

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Speaker 1: energy that you gave off. Well, how am I supposed

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Speaker 1: to change that? It's just an opportunity for self reflection.

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Speaker 1: And one of our managers said, you had the aura

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Speaker 1: of a man who brings a bean bag chair to

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Speaker 1: team meetings. What I'm actually feeling that vibe from you

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Speaker 1: right now, I can feel the beanbag entering the room.

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Speaker 1: I don't know what to say here. This was just

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Speaker 1: a normal interview for me, and this feels me a

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Speaker 1: very harsh critique. Well, that's kind of our goal. We

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Speaker 1: aim for radical corporate intimacy. Okay, But now I do

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Speaker 1: have some good news for you. You are still eligible

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Speaker 1: for our other opening, junior back executive culture intern level zero.

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Speaker 1: It's unpaid and unstructured. No, thank you. No, are you sure?

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Speaker 1: Because we might let you stand near someone important at

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Speaker 1: the company picnic. We never let any new hires do that.

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Speaker 1: That's quite an honor. I'm fine, thank you. Okay. One

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Speaker 1: final note that I do need to pass along to

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Speaker 1: you this prank call is being recorded on the radio

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Speaker 1: for thousands of others to listen and judge, what are

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Speaker 1: you okay? If we give you their feedback as well.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, we kind of do. My name is

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Speaker 1: jeff from Brook and Jeffrey in the Morning. We're doing

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Speaker 1: a phone tap on you. Man. Oh my god. You

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Speaker 1: guys shuck so hard. You should really blame your roommate Baker,

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Speaker 1: because he's the one who sets you up. You see,

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Speaker 1: there's that aggressive microwave fish energy that everyone was talking about.

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Speaker 1: Something maybe you could work on while you're laying on

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Speaker 1: beanbag that you brought to the meeting. Wake Up every

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Speaker 1: morning with phoonk tab weekday mornings on the twenties Brooke

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Speaker 1: and Jeffrey in the Morning