Speaker 1: Hello, everybody, Hello, everybody.
Speaker 2: Hey Hannah, how are you?
Speaker 1: Hello? Hello? Hello. I'm doing a great I will say this.
Speaker 1: I have a lot of things in my life that
Speaker 1: bother me and need improvement for sure. But the one
Speaker 1: thing I have and you also have, is really good skin.
Speaker 1: That's just genetics. I do have really good skin, and
Speaker 1: so lo and behold my horror today. Oh no, I
Speaker 1: got a pimple and I was just like, I'm invited
Speaker 1: to my list of issues.
Speaker 2: You're on your own, you.
Speaker 3: Know I do too. So I'm wearing this pimple patch.
Speaker 3: You see that this is the worst place to get
Speaker 3: it here or like at the tip of your nose,
Speaker 3: Like that's the worst to get them on your lips.
Speaker 2: You don't want to get a pimple on your.
Speaker 1: Lip, but that's something. Yeah, there's no such thing as
Speaker 1: a pimple.
Speaker 2: A pimple on your lip, but yeah, like right here
Speaker 2: or right here.
Speaker 3: And this one sucks because I don't First of all,
Speaker 3: these patches don't work. I guess all they do is
Speaker 3: just cover it for the world not to see because
Speaker 3: they don't get rid of them. This isn't This is
Speaker 3: going on day three with this fing thing on my
Speaker 3: face and it's still there.
Speaker 1: Here's the thing I will say. I'm team like Love
Speaker 1: Island with this stuff. Do you ever watch Love Island.
Speaker 2: And don't have to be some dumb ship like that?
Speaker 1: Okay, fine, well you're missing out. But here's what they do.
Speaker 1: When they all get pimples, they put like their pimple
Speaker 1: patches are stars. They just own it. Yeah, generation man,
Speaker 1: I love it so much. They're just like, here it is.
Speaker 1: Put a start. I'm gonna make a beautiful muskin is
Speaker 1: going through something.
Speaker 3: And you're smart because it's like you're gonna be Look
Speaker 3: if somebody has a pimple on like a note, like
Speaker 3: an obvious noticeable pimple on their forehead or somewhere, you're
Speaker 3: gonna look at it. It's not gonna bother you, but
Speaker 3: you're gonna look at it.
Speaker 1: And then I'm telling you this one is like it's
Speaker 1: a big guy.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but if you put a star on it, people
Speaker 3: are gonna look. It's you're gonna look anyway, so you
Speaker 3: may as well look at a star.
Speaker 1: That's right.
Speaker 2: That's what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: Put a gold star on it, That's what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: I will say, I know everybody's been really worried about
Speaker 1: my mess around sweater that I spilled on last week.
Speaker 2: So it's back me too.
Speaker 1: You got too many jobs, That's what I learned about you.
Speaker 1: You've got too many jobs. Job, you got too many things,
Speaker 1: all right, you guys? It is the mess around And
Speaker 1: this is by far one of the most talked about
Speaker 1: episodes have. It is called micro. It's called micro. Y'all know,
Speaker 1: if you're listening to this podcast, I know you know it.
Speaker 1: If I know, you don't even have to rewatch it to.
Speaker 3: Now listening to this podcast, this particular episode, you know
Speaker 3: the episode, but you also may know the issue that
Speaker 3: the issue may be something that you've personally dealt with
Speaker 3: in your life, which I think not a lot of
Speaker 3: people have.
Speaker 2: But yeah, it's called micro because of you know, micro penis,
Speaker 2: says micro pain.
Speaker 1: Should we do?
Speaker 3: After discovering that the guy she's talking to has a
Speaker 3: micro penis, Jess makes a bet with Nick that she
Speaker 3: can stay in the relationship for over a month to
Speaker 3: prove she isn't shallow. Meanwhile, Winston, CC, Trick Schmidt, and
Speaker 3: coach As are competing for a modeling gig. It's a
Speaker 3: classic Winston and CC mess around.
Speaker 1: That's not a thing.
Speaker 2: So she says, we'll be right back, and we are back.
Speaker 1: This is honestly one of the funniest written episodes ever.
Speaker 1: Bye of Course. The Great Josh ma.
Speaker 3: Yes Josh Malmith directed by Jay Schandra Shaker. He is
Speaker 3: a fantastic director.
Speaker 1: Fantastic director, human person. He was a great director to
Speaker 1: work with. He's like, so you know what it is,
Speaker 1: he still has like the joy. There's zero things that
Speaker 1: are jaded about Jay. When he was on set, like
Speaker 1: he was just like so happy. He thought the bits
Speaker 1: were so funny. You can see in that cold open
Speaker 1: when they're doing like the boobs say like I like
Speaker 1: those people. Like when they're doing the boobs whole conversation,
Speaker 1: you can just feel Jay just being like happy to
Speaker 1: let it go, like just run with it, guys, get
Speaker 1: weird with it because there's so much in a group shot. Yeah,
Speaker 1: because he's just like having that energy.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, because you have to. Yeah, imagine he's still
Speaker 3: a performer. He still acts. So that's why you know,
Speaker 3: when you're an actor and you see the bits, it's
Speaker 3: almost like he wants to jump in and play himself.
Speaker 2: Shocked. We never had shock. He was never in an episode.
Speaker 1: Ye, that's true. That was a miss.
Speaker 3: Yeah complete miss Oh girl, what a miss?
Speaker 2: Complete miss? You use this diver off camera?
Speaker 1: Only they should have cast him. I guess maybe the
Speaker 1: only role available if he wanted to act in director
Speaker 1: was to be the micrope guy. And he's like, you
Speaker 1: know what.
Speaker 2: Jay was like, you know what, I don't need the reputation.
Speaker 1: That's okay.
Speaker 2: He's directed a bunch of these episodes though, yeah, he
Speaker 2: did a few.
Speaker 3: Anyway, we're at this bar. Anyway, at this bar, Hannah,
Speaker 3: what's going on at this bar? The guys are just
Speaker 3: talking about boobies, as men do, right.
Speaker 1: I think what's so great and funny and weird about
Speaker 1: this gold open is that they're saying all the quiet
Speaker 1: parts out loud. Yeah, Like I do think right. Attracts
Speaker 1: is a part of picking your partner, not a friend,
Speaker 1: but like a partner. And so attraction is that you're
Speaker 1: gonna have things that you're more drawn to or less
Speaker 1: drawn to. And so that conversation about being shallow or
Speaker 1: not I think is super interesting. But usually you're not
Speaker 1: openly at the bar being like I like those boobies,
Speaker 1: those are great boobies. That's not going to resonate. Well, no,
Speaker 1: but the person that also wants to have an emotional
Speaker 1: connection as well as the physical cost.
Speaker 2: So guys don't do this, you know what? You know who?
Speaker 3: I have some friends who are are in their sixties,
Speaker 3: late fifties, sixties, and when they're trying to be cool
Speaker 3: and they're hanging out, they start speaking this way because
Speaker 3: they think that this is how the other guys talk.
Speaker 3: And you got to constantly like correct them and go, bro,
Speaker 3: you good.
Speaker 2: Like a moment walks by, look at look at the
Speaker 2: rack on that check and you're like, what you know,
Speaker 2: we never did that. That was a TV fit.
Speaker 3: That was like a movie's a TV stereotype about what
Speaker 3: we You don't have to say that out loud.
Speaker 1: It is a crazy thing. Also, I knew, I knew
Speaker 1: you were going to say the word rack. The rack
Speaker 1: conversation is also crazy to call it a rack of what?
Speaker 3: Oh you know, I was trying to be gentle. What
Speaker 3: the words for what they were really really saying?
Speaker 1: Yeah, No, no one's out here talking like that, and
Speaker 1: if they are, it's very like forty year old vergin Ya.
Speaker 1: I'm just like, oh, you've never seen like breasts. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you've never actually seen them with your own eyeballs, like
Speaker 1: real human right breasts.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so that's good to know.
Speaker 1: I learned so much about you. So Jess is on
Speaker 1: a whole tip because she's just like, I'm not shallow.
Speaker 1: I don't sit there and pick my partner just based
Speaker 1: on what they look like. And then she kind of
Speaker 1: challenges Nick and she's like, would you have ruled me
Speaker 1: out for my boobs? And he's like no, because they're perfect.
Speaker 1: But then you're won. And then that thing when they
Speaker 1: cut to you guys all getting so close to it
Speaker 1: is so funny to me, Oh my god.
Speaker 2: You know what I hated about this moment? I think
Speaker 2: what that they would uh you know, they they it
Speaker 2: was a script.
Speaker 3: It was scripted, so I said it, and you know,
Speaker 3: it's a funny bit where I go, You're at eight,
Speaker 3: You're at eight and a half, and I'm a.
Speaker 2: Sweet, sweet six. You know, I have you know, sons
Speaker 2: of bitches I have.
Speaker 3: You know that that same year, I want to say
Speaker 3: it was that same year.
Speaker 2: Maybe it was a year later, who knows.
Speaker 3: Cosmo magazine called me one of the hottest TV actors
Speaker 3: of all time and I was number thirty. You know,
Speaker 3: who was you know who was you know who was
Speaker 3: thirty one? George Colooney. Yeah, I didn't see Max on
Speaker 3: that list.
Speaker 2: I didn't see Damon on that list.
Speaker 3: So while I'm getting while the writers are saying that
Speaker 3: they're eight, eight and a half and I'm a six,
Speaker 3: I got something. I got news for you. Fuck you anyway,
Speaker 3: That's what I got to.
Speaker 4: Say about it.
Speaker 1: Here's the part that made me laugh the most is
Speaker 1: that you give these compliments, then you do something that's
Speaker 1: self deprecating and you say six, which is obviously not true,
Speaker 1: and nobody challenges it. It's the funniest part. Nobody goes,
Speaker 1: come on, man, no at least a seven. No, Nope,
Speaker 1: I don't want that's where they did your dirty that
Speaker 1: everyone went, yeah.
Speaker 2: Every dirty And you know what, I'm okay with it.
Speaker 2: I'm okay.
Speaker 3: I'm almost okay with it because I'm not sure who's
Speaker 3: laughing now?
Speaker 1: This is true? And we know that they give the
Speaker 1: Emmys to the most attractive actor that year.
Speaker 2: That's how you that's all you know, because you got
Speaker 2: to get out there.
Speaker 1: Who's the hottest guy that year? And then they go like,
Speaker 1: here's a nice one.
Speaker 2: You know what, I'm saying to Josh Melmouth, where your
Speaker 2: is that?
Speaker 1: Doesn't he have one?
Speaker 2: Probably?
Speaker 1: Oh my god. Okay, so hold on a second, because
Speaker 1: Alan Richard Richmon Richson, very good looking man, jumps it.
Speaker 1: I'm looking up right now all the stuff he has done.
Speaker 2: Reacher, are you kidding me? Is he the star?
Speaker 4: And Reacher?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Is he Reacheracher? He's mister Reacher.
Speaker 2: What Alan? The dude is a beast. The dude is
Speaker 2: a yeah, mi mega star.
Speaker 1: He was on American Idol doing what like Paula up singing?
Speaker 2: He wasn't.
Speaker 1: His appearance on the show was noted for his strip
Speaker 1: teas in one episode in which he charmed Judge Paula
Speaker 1: Abduel during his audition. This is American Idol. He was
Speaker 1: one of the top eighty seven contestants in the third season,
Speaker 1: but was cut before the Hollywood.
Speaker 2: Round, which is so crazy.
Speaker 3: That must have been before it was The Blue Mountain
Speaker 3: State he was on and those shows, I think, because.
Speaker 2: That was before A New Girl too. It must have
Speaker 2: been before then.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but he's not a bunch of movies like really
Speaker 3: cool movies and yeah, gentleman, was that a movie that
Speaker 3: he just did?
Speaker 1: I don't know. Alan what a career you've had.
Speaker 2: With Gonzales and Henry cavill.
Speaker 1: Oh.
Speaker 2: I think it was a guy Richie, but.
Speaker 1: He uh, he just joined the cast of Fast X.
Speaker 2: Yeah. He's been in Fast and Furious. He was in
Speaker 2: The Fat he's in the Fast Fast.
Speaker 1: He looks that way like when they cut across and
Speaker 1: she's like sitting in the booth and she's like, oh
Speaker 1: my god, my friends are the worst. I'm just gonna
Speaker 1: sit here because they're so shallow, and then whatever, and
Speaker 1: then she looks up and then she like forgets how
Speaker 1: to just speak word. He just has that whole Hemsworth
Speaker 1: like vibe with the two and the thing and the brooding.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and she's just like, I know the feeling.
Speaker 1: That thing that Zoe does where she's like just needs
Speaker 1: a second to get the words out is everything.
Speaker 3: Like I know the feeling women when they see me.
Speaker 3: It's a very similar, very very similar, very similar.
Speaker 1: Yeah, sure, I just don't know how to talk.
Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 1: I will say it was a wild thing, and I
Speaker 1: thought it was a really strong choice for the episode
Speaker 1: that he says it out the gate where he's just like,
Speaker 1: I just want you to know full disclosure. I have
Speaker 1: a very very very very very very very tiny panis.
Speaker 2: You know what, you know what, you know what I blame.
Speaker 2: I blame the parents.
Speaker 3: I blame the parents for not like because you could
Speaker 3: nip that in the bud like when they're like when
Speaker 3: they're young, you could you should know like, Okay, this
Speaker 3: ain't this ain't right, and you got to do something
Speaker 3: about it.
Speaker 1: Then see what my brain went to. You know what
Speaker 1: I thought you were talking about when you said I
Speaker 1: blame the parents, I thought you meant, like, you know,
Speaker 1: two people that have the same kind of issue, shouldn't
Speaker 1: like breed and have a child, and to get the
Speaker 1: wife's like dad to be like we should let's cross
Speaker 1: reference these penises because the.
Speaker 3: Wife's dad has a micro and then the dad has
Speaker 3: a micro maybe a micro yeah no, But there's like
Speaker 3: things you can do to stimulate the petuitary gland. That's
Speaker 3: got to be an issue with the petuitary gland. That's
Speaker 3: that's stopping the process of natural human growth hormone. Because
Speaker 3: that is crazy. It's crazy that he is that big,
Speaker 3: which means his body got big, but the one thing didn't.
Speaker 1: That's the one thing stay tiny, yea. But he owns it.
Speaker 1: He's like, Okay, this is what it is, and he
Speaker 1: is so good looking that it obviously has not been
Speaker 1: an issue.
Speaker 2: Can be blessed with both, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: Mm hmm. So then she they go they're going to
Speaker 1: go on a date, and she does this bet.
Speaker 2: Yes, he does the bet with with with Nick.
Speaker 1: Nick that she's going to stay in this relationship for
Speaker 1: like a month, No big deal because she's not shallow, right,
Speaker 1: and she's very excited about it. She thinks it's gonna
Speaker 1: be no issue. It's totally fine because spoiler alert, she
Speaker 1: does not know that he as a human being is.
Speaker 2: The worst, absolute worst, you know.
Speaker 1: And he plays it, by the way, so perfectly because
Speaker 1: I got the itch so badly from him the entire time.
Speaker 1: I was so grossed out by what is on the
Speaker 1: surface a very good looking person, and I was just
Speaker 1: like watching it, I was like, oh, which means.
Speaker 2: He's a great actor, great actor.
Speaker 1: Where do you go? Alan?
Speaker 4: Now?
Speaker 2: Now, let's talk about it. I was disgusted by let's
Speaker 2: talk about this. The bet wages. What's on the line here.
Speaker 3: Because because if Nick loses, he has to donate five
Speaker 3: hundred dollars of the National organization for women's Love Your
Speaker 3: Body campaign and if Nick wins, just to buy him
Speaker 3: a subscription to ass chat.
Speaker 2: But do you remember the names some of the names
Speaker 2: that we were throwing out when he was like, what's
Speaker 2: sighting Nubian?
Speaker 1: These were all improvised.
Speaker 2: I never went back and looked it up.
Speaker 3: It's off that any of these names were real if
Speaker 3: they existed, But I'm sure they do.
Speaker 1: I mean, if they did, they got like Freem for sure.
Speaker 2: Mad as a street artist. He paints on walls.
Speaker 1: Just this, did you say, like a rat with a
Speaker 1: backpack or something? That's what I see when I see
Speaker 1: the wall. I was just like, oh no.
Speaker 2: It was so funny how she's describing you, you know
Speaker 2: what I mean, like.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, the boys sit around and they're staring at
Speaker 1: a micro penis, and then they all describe what the
Speaker 1: micro penis looks like, like a what like a lone
Speaker 1: tent and a very vast fast, vast fast fast.
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, Schmidt wants to Schmid says, if he could,
Speaker 3: he would give him some of his penis.
Speaker 2: But you don't pull he don't pull a bump off
Speaker 2: of a Ferrari out of control.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, schmid coacher at the bar, and they're just
Speaker 1: complimenting each other because now they feel really good about
Speaker 1: themselves that they've seen a micro penis, and so they're
Speaker 1: complimenting and complimenting, and Winston and CC are getting annoyed
Speaker 1: death at the situation and realize, how can we mess
Speaker 1: with these idiots?
Speaker 2: Yes?
Speaker 1: And make them make fools of themselves?
Speaker 3: Yes, is this the moment in which we describe what's
Speaker 3: about to happen between us? Or No, that's not it.
Speaker 3: We'll get into that a little bit later before. But
Speaker 3: let's let's let's go to a quick commercial break. And
Speaker 3: when we come back, there's a there's a section that
Speaker 3: I want to bring up, and I'm not going to
Speaker 3: bring it up because it's useless.
Speaker 2: But and then we're going to move on.
Speaker 4: Okay, and we are back.
Speaker 1: We're back, and Jess has learned that this guy is
Speaker 1: the absolute worst person in the entire world and she
Speaker 1: needs out of the bet. And she says it's not
Speaker 1: because of the micro which, by the way, she's telling
Speaker 1: the truth, she hasn't even like seen or dealt with
Speaker 1: it in any situation. She just can't even be around
Speaker 1: this person for five minutes she's just so deeply ickified. Yes,
Speaker 1: but of course the math does not math to Nick.
Speaker 1: So he's like, nah, you made that bet.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I gotta say you got too.
Speaker 3: So Jess is like, listen, listen man, I'm gonna be
Speaker 3: out of town for the next month.
Speaker 2: He says, for truth, for truth, for this is so stupid.
Speaker 2: For truth, you know, that's like.
Speaker 3: A like a like Beligians sometimes when they say, like,
Speaker 3: that's the truth, they say sometimes they'll say, like for true,
Speaker 3: that's for true.
Speaker 2: That's what I thought they were doing here for truth,
Speaker 2: you know, the Italians do that. It's not the same thing.
Speaker 3: It's true, it's true, it's the same thing for true.
Speaker 3: For true is different than it's true. It's true as normal,
Speaker 3: it's true proper.
Speaker 2: If he's.
Speaker 1: This thing, go, I'd been trapped in a bed. To
Speaker 1: have to hang out with that guy was giving me
Speaker 1: such anxiety. I will say I loved watching Jake so
Speaker 1: much around Alan because aka Matt in the episode, because
Speaker 1: you could see how much Jake loved it. There's nothing
Speaker 1: more he loved than like a bro he bro browing out,
Speaker 1: you know, and he just he was just soaking in
Speaker 1: how this guy was like playing the character. He was
Speaker 1: so happy to see his happy little Jake. And so
Speaker 1: then basically Jess is just like, she can't do it.
Speaker 1: She's gonna tell the truth, she's gonna own up to it,
Speaker 1: and she's gonna go to his loft, right, and she's
Speaker 1: just gonna say, it's not your micro penis, it's your
Speaker 1: whole personality. Yes, she goes to his art studio and
Speaker 1: she then does her whole big speech on it, which
Speaker 1: kind of breaks him, and then he's vulnerable, and then
Speaker 1: he explains that he has a bad personality though because
Speaker 1: of his insecurities around the micro penis. And then just
Speaker 1: as she starts to then get vulnerable, she then starts
Speaker 1: to show her wonky knee, so she takes her pants.
Speaker 2: Down to show it just so TV.
Speaker 1: It's such a so TV that she takes her pants
Speaker 1: down to show the knee. And then out of that
Speaker 1: super famous John bon Jovi music video what bet of
Speaker 1: Roses I think it was? Or I Will Always Love
Speaker 1: You or one of those not I'll Always love you
Speaker 1: John Bojovi? What's that video?
Speaker 4: Do you remember?
Speaker 1: We're like they're in the big art loft, and then
Speaker 1: the girlfriend sees on the camera that he's cheating.
Speaker 2: What John bonjob he had caught cheating on camera.
Speaker 1: It was a real Shaggy moment, Shaggy, but real ones
Speaker 1: know what I'm talking about.
Speaker 2: Shaggy and bon Jovi did a song together.
Speaker 1: Shaggy Jovi did a.
Speaker 2: Song together with Zoey Chanel was pants down.
Speaker 1: This is the worst game of telephone I've ever played.
Speaker 2: And it's just back John bon Jovi and Shaggy was
Speaker 2: sleeping together. Zoe watched on camera.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, oh my gosh, chat that's right now,
Speaker 1: good old as So she's telling she's telling the truth.
Speaker 1: But and then we cut back to the.
Speaker 3: La Yes, we cut back to the loft. Now Winston
Speaker 3: and CC there are. I remember this moment. I remember
Speaker 3: this day based off of the Canadian tuxedo that I
Speaker 3: was wearing, and uh and that and I forget there
Speaker 3: was a different haircut that I remember that day. I
Speaker 3: was like, interesting because it's the famous not famous photo
Speaker 3: famous for me because I see it all the time
Speaker 3: of me holding the camera and it used to be
Speaker 3: like a gift, like a meme.
Speaker 2: As me holding the camera.
Speaker 3: And I was like watching you, going, oh, I remember this,
Speaker 3: this is that moment. What I didn't remember was this
Speaker 3: was the beginning of our classic CC in Winston mess
Speaker 3: Around exactly. And that's what I found to be interesting
Speaker 3: about it. You we have a whole podcast called The
Speaker 3: mess Around now and in the at the at the
Speaker 3: at the time, CC didn't want it to be a thing.
Speaker 1: I'm telling you, winning the bish manifested something in real life.
Speaker 1: A fake character was just like.
Speaker 2: It's act and you will do it. And I was
Speaker 2: just like, even after the show is over.
Speaker 1: Even after you are no longer ceased to exist, I'm
Speaker 1: wearing the shirt, good guy. Yeah, it's a really funny
Speaker 1: thing to the fact that.
Speaker 2: You wear the shirt but you cover it every time.
Speaker 1: By the way, I can't help it. Have gon along Indian.
Speaker 2: You can't go behind your hand.
Speaker 1: This looks very weird to do it like you behind,
Speaker 1: but then it looks weird. Watch happened? What happens?
Speaker 2: How does that look weird?
Speaker 1: I don't know. I just feel like I look like
Speaker 1: I've got no hair. No, I don't know how to
Speaker 1: do it. Just this shirt is so all the time
Speaker 1: with his shirt, by the way, and it's so like
Speaker 1: cozy and soft inside. It's like my sweater I put
Speaker 1: on like in the evening and just like cozy up,
Speaker 1: so you.
Speaker 3: Wear it to cozy up and you get stopped when
Speaker 3: you wear it on the street and you were on
Speaker 3: the podcast, and we need to get you some new clothes.
Speaker 1: It's my favorite. The thing that makes me laugh too
Speaker 1: is that coach also is like, oh, what do you
Speaker 1: finally catches them out. He's like, Oh, it's just a
Speaker 1: classic cez In Winston mess around and he's like, yes.
Speaker 1: All the way in season four is when this like
Speaker 1: they let us start to play around and be weird.
Speaker 1: I will I remember you and I though off camera
Speaker 1: and then they let us go because then they were
Speaker 1: kind of pushing in for the shot, but we were
Speaker 1: I think we hung out to watch it because it
Speaker 1: was so ridiculous to watch Damon and Max do this
Speaker 1: photo shit. Yes, and then who was going to get
Speaker 1: to be.
Speaker 2: The top the bottom bottom?
Speaker 1: Yes, in the piggy bat.
Speaker 3: I've been around both of these guys enough to know
Speaker 3: that Max is the bottom in that relationship.
Speaker 2: He definitely is. He definitely is.
Speaker 1: I truly I remember laughing so much on set because
Speaker 1: it was very rare that I would be just with,
Speaker 1: you know, a group of the boys and just get
Speaker 1: to hang out and do like weird physical comedy or
Speaker 1: like watch it or be part of that scene. That's
Speaker 1: not where they usually put CC. And it was the
Speaker 1: most fun day. Yeah, they were so extra because that
Speaker 1: was also genuine that how it ends up with Damon
Speaker 1: on top and Max on the bottom was not they
Speaker 1: truly did battle. They truly were wrestlings and the pig
Speaker 1: bag that was that's funny, so funny. Also just letting
Speaker 1: them kind of run with a stupid little bit of
Speaker 1: who's so good looking and really thinking that they can
Speaker 1: break their friendship and then it kind of turns back
Speaker 1: on and Winnie.
Speaker 3: Oh, yes, yeah you're gonna see So CC's going to
Speaker 3: pass these onto her agency.
Speaker 1: That's what she's saying she's going to do. There was
Speaker 1: no intention. She just wanted to make them look dumb,
Speaker 1: and then she thought when she would and when they
Speaker 1: were like, oh but we can only send one, that
Speaker 1: they would then start fighting and the whole thing would explode.
Speaker 1: But then like the truth of like how much they
Speaker 1: love each other and their friendship comes out and it
Speaker 1: becomes this big bonding sweet moment and then they're just like,
Speaker 1: oh this is that.
Speaker 2: It says he's more runway. Well, Schmid is more high fashion.
Speaker 2: Oh it's very sweet. Now we're back with Nick and Jess.
Speaker 1: We're back in Nikka des So it all went side.
Speaker 1: Oh no, but we missed the big part, A big
Speaker 1: part that happens at the loft and she shows the knee.
Speaker 1: Then I just got I got caught up with banjo.
Speaker 1: And then the girlfriend comes in and she's just like,
Speaker 1: what are you doing with your pants off? What's happening?
Speaker 1: And she storms off and she's like, why aren't you
Speaker 1: running after your girlfriend? And then she goes, you probably
Speaker 1: don't even have a micro beenas you're just like a
Speaker 1: liar and a horrible person and everything is horrible. And
Speaker 1: then he shows it and apparently and the length of
Speaker 1: time that Jay our director gives Zoe to.
Speaker 2: There, he pulled that one of them right there. He
Speaker 2: pulled that one of them.
Speaker 1: The funniest is when she leaves and she says something
Speaker 1: just like take care of the little guy. It's like
Speaker 1: it's like it's so tidy and needs help and support
Speaker 1: and lots of love, not for me, but goodbye.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he gotta go to Germany and get a reconstructed one.
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying he needs something Turkey for things.
Speaker 3: Like that, Turkey for your Like they do the hair
Speaker 3: stuff in Turkey, they do the penile stuff in Germany.
Speaker 3: I just really don't know. I just figure Germans are
Speaker 3: great with engineering, so if you have a micro penis,
Speaker 3: you need something engineered.
Speaker 1: Volkswagen. We say penis a lot on the show.
Speaker 3: I realized, Yeah, that's when you know, like like some
Speaker 3: of the writers may have been maybe been like deprived.
Speaker 1: What do you guys talk about the writer's dam just
Speaker 1: penis size.
Speaker 3: They don't have They don't have time to go out
Speaker 3: and like find it in the wild. You know what
Speaker 3: I'm saying, I got to write about it. This is
Speaker 3: all their fan fiction. Now where are we?
Speaker 2: Uh okay, oh yeah, she.
Speaker 1: Says, take care of that little rub rat? Oh my
Speaker 1: yeah so funny.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Then see then Jess is just like listen, forget it.
Speaker 1: Here you go like I'll log you into ass chat
Speaker 1: and pay for the kitty cam and all the other
Speaker 1: bonus features, and I know what is that? I don't
Speaker 1: want to know. And then it's that she kind of
Speaker 1: like has that moment of like I'm no better than
Speaker 1: you guys. I guess I'm a shallow too. I can't
Speaker 1: I couldn't do it. And then they have a really
Speaker 1: big come to Jesus moment as a loft right where
Speaker 1: she starts to realize, like, wow, we all have our thing,
Speaker 1: we all have our micro pee, we all have that thing.
Speaker 1: Is that what they call it? We all have that
Speaker 1: weird thing that we just aren't that proud of. And
Speaker 1: then they all kind of start to go around and
Speaker 1: talk about each other's little micrope moments, which is really
Speaker 1: weird and strange and very funny. And then CC and
Speaker 1: Winston caught in a mess around gone very wrong.
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, very very rang.
Speaker 1: They one eight hundreds, like twelve dollars or something to
Speaker 1: put a billboard up in Grea.
Speaker 3: That's right, because what happens was, what happens was is that,
Speaker 3: you know, Coach sees that CC and Winston are screwing around,
Speaker 3: and he knows this is a fake thing. He's like,
Speaker 3: this will kill him, this will crush him. You need
Speaker 3: to fix this. And so they agree that they're gonna
Speaker 3: get They're going to give him this, this thing, this
Speaker 3: It's gonna happen. And then we cut to that moment.
Speaker 3: We cut to that moment and we see this massive billboard.
Speaker 2: I remember this day. I remember being out there and
Speaker 2: we went to Greed.
Speaker 3: Yeah, we were actually there in Koreatown. Now, what I
Speaker 3: can't quite remember. I remember going around and doing the scene.
Speaker 2: I remember that specifically.
Speaker 3: What I can't quite remember is was that picture actually
Speaker 3: I think the picture was actually up there, wasn't it
Speaker 3: or was it a green.
Speaker 1: Screww was actually no, it was actually up there, and
Speaker 1: I feel like it stayed.
Speaker 2: I just remember people looking, Am I crazy? I don't know.
Speaker 2: I didn't go back and check.
Speaker 1: I feel like someone sent a picture and they were like,
Speaker 1: it was still there. That's an Aeron O'Malley question. She
Speaker 1: would know, like, I feel like it's stayed for a minute,
Speaker 1: because they really put the billboard up. Yeah.
Speaker 3: They were like they paid for it, yeah, spot for
Speaker 3: a second, and they kept it up probably for a month.
Speaker 2: That would have been funny if it were up there
Speaker 2: for a month.
Speaker 1: I feel like, yeah, I feel like it was up
Speaker 1: there for a while. It's a really nice bow on
Speaker 1: the end of this episode because jess as the bank
Speaker 1: canceled her credit card, which canceled the porn subscription, and
Speaker 1: he was like, yeah, I was kind of ruined anyway,
Speaker 1: and knowing that you were paying for it, I gotta
Speaker 1: lost the mojo on it. And then Coach does a
Speaker 1: little extra extortion on CC and Weddy. That's right where
Speaker 1: he talks about the feet that Schmid's gonna get paid,
Speaker 1: which of course leads to one of the most memorable
Speaker 1: tags of all time. He's standing alone Schmidt in front
Speaker 1: of his billboard out in Koreatown and just goes million million.
Speaker 3: Let me tell you something, I think when my first
Speaker 3: billboard ever went up. In fact, I remember this when
Speaker 3: I when I saw my very first billboard. It was
Speaker 3: for a show called brain Rush on Cartoon Network. And
Speaker 3: when I say far from a millionaire, I think I'm
Speaker 3: not joking. I think by the time that billboard went up,
Speaker 3: I may have had like six hundred bucks in my account,
Speaker 3: maybe less than that.
Speaker 2: So when you have a billboard up, it doesn't mean anything, you.
Speaker 1: Guys, doesn't mean anything. I remember my first billboard that
Speaker 1: ever went up, and it was right at the corner
Speaker 1: of Sunset and like Fairfax kind of area, or like
Speaker 1: one block over, you're that gas stations on the corner.
Speaker 1: Then you'd continue to go in the hills and it
Speaker 1: was for Ultimate Gamer, my first job I ever got
Speaker 1: in the States, and they had partnered with like a
Speaker 1: gaming I wear company, and so they had put the
Speaker 1: billboard up. I got paid zero dollars and that billboard
Speaker 1: was up, and like everybody does if they ever get
Speaker 1: a billboard, I went there with my friends and we
Speaker 1: like took a picture in front of the billboard. It
Speaker 1: was such a big deal. But yeah, zero, but it
Speaker 1: did feel like a big moment. But I also did
Speaker 1: in my body go like this is the beginning. Well,
Speaker 1: there you go, it's my face is up here. And
Speaker 1: then nothing happened. And then when it did happen, it
Speaker 1: did nothing to do.
Speaker 2: With the bill nothing to do with it. Man, I
Speaker 2: don't think. Yeah, a millionaire wasn't until the New Girl
Speaker 2: billboards went up, and.
Speaker 1: You had to you had to have a bunch of
Speaker 1: people on those billboards millionaires.
Speaker 2: Maybe that's the key.
Speaker 1: All right, when we come back, y'all were going to miss.
Speaker 2: These messages, would be right back yo, and we are back.
Speaker 1: You know, it's funny you just did that. After these messages.
Speaker 1: I was thinking about, like, man, the jingle writers in
Speaker 1: like the eighties and nineties were crazy because I can
Speaker 1: remember those jingles like, do you remember the juicy fruit one?
Speaker 2: How's it go?
Speaker 1: Juicy fruit is gonna move? Yeah, no, juicy food it's
Speaker 1: gonna move.
Speaker 2: Oh, I think I remember. I either remember that or
Speaker 2: that was the Canadian version.
Speaker 1: Maple syrup, that's why it was.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I remember all the jingles from back then, you know,
Speaker 3: by Man and fun fact that's the worldly weird, the
Speaker 3: world's shortest jingle.
Speaker 1: Wow, worth it in there.
Speaker 2: So, Hannah, let's uh, let's do this thing that you
Speaker 2: didn't want to do in the beginning. Let's mess around.
Speaker 4: Let's go.
Speaker 1: Here's my question. Here, here's my mess around question. Okay,
Speaker 1: I just realized he's gonna get me to trouble asking
Speaker 1: this question. Do you think, as a man that has
Speaker 1: met several women in his life and those other men
Speaker 1: who has met several women in their life, do you
Speaker 1: think the preference would be do do do doo? Small?
Speaker 1: Or way too big?
Speaker 3: Well, way too big. It's the preference either one. You
Speaker 3: can't use them. No, no, no, it's it's got to be
Speaker 3: way too big because because if you because here's the
Speaker 3: thing you're saying, way too small, way too a micro
Speaker 3: or a micro a micro. No one can use that
Speaker 3: like an old woman is gonna be like I. I mean,
Speaker 3: you never know. But there is a strange world out
Speaker 3: there were women like way too big.
Speaker 2: Just go to ask but ask Chat. Go to ask
Speaker 2: Chat and it'll it'll tell you there's some women that
Speaker 2: would really enjoy a way too big scenario.
Speaker 3: And even here's the thing about the way too big scenario.
Speaker 3: You can make a lot of money that way.
Speaker 1: This is true, that's true for a man, I would
Speaker 1: think probably they would rather go way too big than
Speaker 1: way too small. But I'm saying from a female perspective,
Speaker 1: one is like a weapon.
Speaker 2: Then yeah, one is a weapon.
Speaker 3: But some I think there I think there is a
Speaker 3: world in which no one could use the way too
Speaker 3: small one.
Speaker 1: No one that's well, no, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: It's almost like on the fringe. There's always people that
Speaker 1: that'll be like, that's my things. Are you more likely
Speaker 1: way too small the way too big?
Speaker 3: Are you more likely to find someone who's like prefers
Speaker 3: it way too small where they get no enjoyment out
Speaker 3: of it? Or would you like or would likelihood would
Speaker 3: you find a rare group of women that can that
Speaker 3: enjoy a really obnoxiously big one.
Speaker 1: You know what I'm realizing this is, this is really
Speaker 1: just a Cinderella conversation. This is just really every there's
Speaker 1: there's the right foot that will fit into the right
Speaker 1: shoe for everybody, and the way too big and the
Speaker 1: way too small. As we'll find their people, they will
Speaker 1: and just and just was not the person for Matt.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: No, it was a bad fit, you guys. Bad fit.
Speaker 1: It all comes back to a Disney movie. Doesn't that
Speaker 1: feel right when we're talking about.
Speaker 2: Especial because Nick Miller has a hog.
Speaker 1: The word hog is also is right in the same
Speaker 1: bucket as dogs. No racks and.
Speaker 3: Hogs get a nice rack of hog there, you know,
Speaker 3: barbecue time.
Speaker 2: But okay, so that was your question, that was my question.
Speaker 2: The question is less perverted.
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 2: A billboard prank is such a good idea. Who would
Speaker 2: you billboard prank?
Speaker 1: I feel like you're gonna probably make me cut this
Speaker 1: from the podcast, but I feel like you and Kyle
Speaker 1: would billboard prank here to help podcast.
Speaker 3: We probably would. That that's a we probably would. I
Speaker 3: think that would be a good one to uh to prank.
Speaker 3: But I feel like I would prank. I would want
Speaker 3: to prank someone that I don't really know, but I
Speaker 3: know they're gonna see it, you know, like a straight
Speaker 3: up just like false, I don't know, something like you know,
Speaker 3: you drive down you love down Sunset and on one
Speaker 3: side of the street, it'll have like a it'll have
Speaker 3: like a a Netflix billboard that'll say, you know, Mikey
Speaker 3: Madison is a star blah blah blah blah blah when
Speaker 3: they're whenever they're promoting a new Netflix movie.
Speaker 2: I would do that.
Speaker 3: I would have that same type of billboard, and then
Speaker 3: I would have something where it says, like Zoe Kravitz
Speaker 3: called Lamar and Morris yesterday, he did not he did
Speaker 3: not pick up, he will not return her phone calls?
Speaker 2: What should she do?
Speaker 3: And then just like leave it up there and people
Speaker 3: will be like really, and at some point it's going
Speaker 3: to come across her desk. I feel like she doesn't
Speaker 3: have a desk, but it's going to come across you know,
Speaker 3: like one of her minions.
Speaker 1: And then she should text her this idea now that
Speaker 1: you have her number and be like, hey man, what
Speaker 1: do you think of this bit?
Speaker 2: Put a billboard up. I'm gonna prank you. Are you cool?
Speaker 2: With it.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna prank you, but I also would like to
Speaker 1: keep your respect in love. So will this not change up?
Speaker 1: Let me know I'm not in fear of.
Speaker 4: Ale butler Off.
Speaker 1: Please tell me the truth. You know what. Actually a
Speaker 1: billboard prank, I feel like is a great thing to do,
Speaker 1: but from like a nice prank way, Like imagine you
Speaker 1: put it up for your mom, best mom her with
Speaker 1: like a big trophy next to her right or your daughter,
Speaker 1: like that would be so great to do, like a
Speaker 1: sweet prank, as like a birthday thing, just driving around
Speaker 1: sunset and then you see the thing that.
Speaker 2: Would be nice, that would be that would be something
Speaker 2: I'd probably just.
Speaker 1: Yeah, or I prank you know you would probab.
Speaker 3: You know what I've done before them, I've put on live.
Speaker 3: I was on live and there's thousands of people looking
Speaker 3: at it, and I gave out my I gave out
Speaker 3: a friend's phone number. But I said to all the
Speaker 3: people that was I said, I said, I have a
Speaker 3: friend who love and this is you can ask him.
Speaker 2: His his name is Dom.
Speaker 3: I told all my followers to send him dick pics.
Speaker 3: Oh I remember, and he was at home.
Speaker 2: He he had no idea I was on live and
Speaker 2: I put hisnob I don't know why I did that.
Speaker 2: I still to this day, I'm like, why would I
Speaker 2: do that to somebody?
Speaker 3: He calls me up randomly blowing my phone and he's like, dude,
Speaker 3: what what what did you? What's what's going on?
Speaker 2: I was like, waite.
Speaker 3: He's like, dude, I'm sitting down here, my girl. And
Speaker 3: I'm sitting down here, my girl, and all of a
Speaker 3: sudden my phone starts blowing up and I'm looking down
Speaker 3: it's just dudes, dicks.
Speaker 1: Oh my god.
Speaker 2: And he's like he wrote back to Somebody's like, yo,
Speaker 2: what the fuck? Why is everybody saying to me this ship?
Speaker 2: They were like, oh la morn said to do it.
Speaker 1: I was like, oh god, I'm surprised you didn't pull
Speaker 1: up at your house and be like hello, sir.
Speaker 2: I don't know why I did that.
Speaker 1: Was I will say, you seem remorseful. I will say
Speaker 1: I I've never received a ditic. That's not true. And
Speaker 1: the d ms there has been a millery. I've never
Speaker 1: seen them. But because because sorry to say, but the
Speaker 1: men who send the dick pics are really stupid humans,
Speaker 1: and so they'll say like I'll be like looking at
Speaker 1: my whatever, and then it says blurred, right, so I've
Speaker 1: never seen it. I'm not gonna look. I don't want
Speaker 1: to see your pitiful situation. Yeah so grad so no,
Speaker 1: that way it's been said, but I've never seen them.
Speaker 2: Yeah, there you go, there you go.
Speaker 1: Yeah, because they're so happy and proud that they think
Speaker 1: someone wants to look at it, so they tell you
Speaker 1: what travesty they've just sent you, and then you just.
Speaker 3: You're like, yeah, you don't, Yeah you can't. You can't
Speaker 3: get calls in those things. Fellas, stop doing that. Stop
Speaker 3: unless she's asking nobody saying hey, can you please send me?
Speaker 3: You gotta get so happy for you. But yeah, that's
Speaker 3: not you know. Anyway, that's our show.
Speaker 2: That's our show.
Speaker 1: Thanks for listening. Be sure to follow us on ig
Speaker 1: at the mess Around Pod. And man, Allan, you crushed
Speaker 1: this episode.
Speaker 2: Yes indeed, bro Yeah, I'm so.
Speaker 1: Happy you came on and got really weird and so
Speaker 1: Broie because it's a it's a classic man, it's a
Speaker 1: classic micro yep.
Speaker 2: And and I hope that's I hope they didn't cast
Speaker 2: them based off of that.
Speaker 1: What a way to end the episode. Alan, that was
Speaker 1: the mess Around in iHeartMedia Production.
Speaker 3: Our executive producer is Joel Monique. Our senior producer is
Speaker 3: Abu Zafar Bei Wang provided engineering and editing services.
Speaker 1: Additional production from Daniel Goodman, Wendy Heisler, and Kyle Shevron.
Speaker 1: Our theme song was written and composed by Ronald Jukebox Jackson.
Speaker 2: Catch her Next Time, Bye, h m hmm