Speaker 1: Your girlfriend wants you to go back to selling cocaine.
Speaker 1: That's what this says here.
Speaker 2: Yeah, this is this is true.
Speaker 1: So what made you quit?
Speaker 2: Honestly, I just got too paranoid.
Speaker 3: Sure, but moving a lot of weight.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean that must be like consistent twenty four
Speaker 1: to seven paranoia doing that?
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, And I mean it comes with the job.
Speaker 1: There's the Feds, there's the other people who know that you're,
Speaker 1: you know, carrying a lot of cash. There's all sorts
Speaker 1: of potential potential enemies out there to sabotage you. Hello, Hello, Hey,
Speaker 1: is Tyler from Nebraska?
Speaker 3: It is Can I.
Speaker 1: Say here, Tyler? What you told the call screener?
Speaker 4: Yeah, go for me.
Speaker 1: Tyler says here that your girlfriend wants you to start
Speaker 1: back selling cocaine. Says that you are a retired drug
Speaker 1: dealer and you've sort of quit the game, but she
Speaker 1: wants you to start back up. Is that Is that
Speaker 1: an accurate an accurate description of your situation?
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's accurate.
Speaker 1: Yeah, all right, So how long were you selling cocaine for.
Speaker 2: Cocaine? Not that long. It started out actually in twenty seventeen,
Speaker 2: started out with ecstasy and then I went moved away
Speaker 2: from college started. Then I went into weed and that
Speaker 2: just got too slow. I got money hungry, and like
Speaker 2: I was selling QPA whax every week, but the money
Speaker 2: was just too slow. Then I went into back into
Speaker 2: selling ecstasy because that's what I was known for.
Speaker 5: And then after that I took up cocaine and then
Speaker 5: that's really where the money started coming in from all directions.
Speaker 5: Even with that also it gave me more took ups
Speaker 5: per se.
Speaker 1: So why did you Okay, so you did that for
Speaker 1: you said, you said a few a few years.
Speaker 2: Well, let's see, I started in twenty seventeen, so four.
Speaker 1: Years, okay, about four years. So what made you quit?
Speaker 5: Uh, let's see.
Speaker 2: Well one of them is because honestly, I just got
Speaker 2: too paranoid because I was moving a lot of weight.
Speaker 3: Sure was moving a lot of.
Speaker 2: Weight, like with the ecstasy, maybe like a QP every
Speaker 2: like two weeks.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean that must be like consistent twenty four
Speaker 1: to seven paranoia doing that?
Speaker 5: Oh yeah, And I mean it comes with the job.
Speaker 5: If you ask anybody, it's it's always like that, because
Speaker 5: that's a I mean so many.
Speaker 1: Times there's the Feds, there's the other people who know
Speaker 1: that you're you know, carrying a lot of cash. There's
Speaker 1: there's all sorts of potential potential enemies out there to
Speaker 1: sabotage you.
Speaker 5: Yeah, and I mean I didn't, I know, I said,
Speaker 5: I like with the weed, the money got too slow.
Speaker 5: But I wasn't like that drug dealer that's gonna push
Speaker 5: everything off, you know, like with the ex scene and whatnot.
Speaker 5: I like, I warned people that, hey, this is pretty
Speaker 5: close to meth, you know, and I would just I
Speaker 5: would warn people about the dangers of these drugs, and
Speaker 5: they still bought it.
Speaker 1: So m hmm. Well, okay, so you quit because uh,
Speaker 1: you know, it was getting to be too much for
Speaker 1: you whatever. The money wasn't Oh and it also says
Speaker 1: it also says here that you you quit because you
Speaker 1: met your girlfriend and that was part of it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, because I met her. Two weeks later she gets pregnant.
Speaker 1: You met Wait so you got her pregnant two weeks
Speaker 1: after you met her?
Speaker 6: Oh?
Speaker 3: Fuck?
Speaker 7: Yeah?
Speaker 2: But okay, ranted.
Speaker 6: I was.
Speaker 2: I was dealing at that time, all right, and I
Speaker 2: was I had bands on me and for like two
Speaker 2: weeks I don't remember shit.
Speaker 1: So okay, so you have a So you met this
Speaker 1: girl two weeks after meeting her, she gets pregnant, and
Speaker 1: then you both decide to keep it. Yeah okay. And
Speaker 1: and you said kids one now.
Speaker 4: Yes?
Speaker 2: Kid is one?
Speaker 4: Yes?
Speaker 1: Okay? And how are you finding being a father?
Speaker 2: It's honestly not that bad. I thought it'd be a
Speaker 2: lot worse. But I was in I was maybe in
Speaker 2: like ninth grade when my mom had her second child,
Speaker 2: and then she had another one, So honestly I felt
Speaker 2: pretty ready, but there were still yeah h.
Speaker 1: M hmm okay. And then how's your how's your relationship
Speaker 1: with uh? With your girlfriends?
Speaker 4: Great?
Speaker 3: Great?
Speaker 1: Okay, So you had a kid, uh okay, So you're
Speaker 1: dealing a bunch of weight. You meet a lady, you
Speaker 1: get it pregnant, you decided to keep it. You're liking
Speaker 1: being a father, it sounds you're getting along well with
Speaker 1: the girlfriend. Those are all good things. But we have
Speaker 1: a common flick now that you're telling me about, which
Speaker 1: is that you managed to make it out of the
Speaker 1: game relatively unscathed. It sounds and you're living your sort
Speaker 1: of post credits scene life. But now your girlfriend wants
Speaker 1: you to go back to selling cocaine.
Speaker 3: That's what this says here, Yes, this is this is true?
Speaker 1: Why does she want you to go back? It sounds
Speaker 1: like everything is kind of working out for you guys.
Speaker 2: It is. You know, we both have good jobs. I
Speaker 2: told the screener that, you know, with both of our
Speaker 2: incomes and we make five to six grand a month,
Speaker 2: so I mean, it's not not terrible. There's no need
Speaker 2: like we have. We're not living paycheck to paycheck.
Speaker 1: We told them, why does she Why does she want
Speaker 1: you to go back to selling cocaine? Then if you
Speaker 1: guys are doing well, the.
Speaker 2: Extra money is what she says. Because I mean, if
Speaker 2: I putt it into perspective, So if I if I
Speaker 2: were to get.
Speaker 3: Like an out of coke, sure I can maybe.
Speaker 2: Fut that for a seven to eight hundred dollars.
Speaker 1: Sure, sure, I listen, listen, you don't have to sell
Speaker 1: us on the idea that dealing drugs is profitable. I
Speaker 1: think we all can get behind. No, yeah, that idea
Speaker 1: in and of itself, But I listen, man, you clearly
Speaker 1: have an entrepreneurial spirit in you.
Speaker 4: Do.
Speaker 1: Maybe that could be applied to things that are less
Speaker 1: dangerous for you and your family and less detrimental to
Speaker 1: your mental health. And you know to whatever. I mean,
Speaker 1: if you want to make extra money, are there other
Speaker 1: things that you feel like you could do to do that?
Speaker 2: Oh? Definitely, But I think the pro who I'm here?
Speaker 2: Maybe I haven't answered too completely about it, but I
Speaker 2: think it might be the fact that the money comes
Speaker 2: in so fast, you.
Speaker 1: Know, right, but as fast as it comes, it too can.
Speaker 3: Go Oh yeah, definitely.
Speaker 1: I mean, you're you're I don't have to tell you
Speaker 1: that you already know that. So I guess what I'm wondering.
Speaker 1: I mean, okay, so your girlfriend wants you to get
Speaker 1: back into it. I mean, how do you feel about
Speaker 1: what your girlfriend is telling you?
Speaker 2: I mean, I know I could do it because I'm smart,
Speaker 2: but there's always that lingering paranoia around your shoulder, you know, sure,
Speaker 2: because I mean, you never know what's going to happen.
Speaker 2: You don't know if like someone has if the feeds
Speaker 2: have eyes on you or not. You just never know.
Speaker 2: And I feel like you know that that eats and inside.
Speaker 1: Right, And you know, listen, this is hard because I
Speaker 1: try not to tell people what to do, but just
Speaker 1: to like lay it out here what you've told me.
Speaker 1: It sounds like you spent four years with this, this
Speaker 1: paranoid that you're describing like weighing very heavily on you,
Speaker 1: and you got out of it, and now you're you're chilling.
Speaker 1: I feel like a lot of the times, like you know,
Speaker 1: meeting a girl getting her pregnant, that relationship doesn't sound
Speaker 1: destined to work out, but it sounds like it's working out.
Speaker 1: Sounds like fatherhood's working out for you. Like you keep
Speaker 1: hitting all these very like lucky strides. Why would you
Speaker 1: want to jeopardize all the luck that you've received.
Speaker 2: I know, and like I mean, I've had I've had
Speaker 2: a close ass call before, like scariest shit. Sal don't
Speaker 2: want to like go through that because like if I
Speaker 2: would have got caught that one time, would have went
Speaker 2: it prison easy.
Speaker 1: Yeah, dude, I mean mm hmm okay, so but I
Speaker 1: mean so so so here, tell me tell me this.
Speaker 1: Let's say let's say you go back to your girlfriend
Speaker 1: and you say, listen, babe, you know, I get it.
Speaker 1: I get that with some extra money, we could, you know,
Speaker 1: get a better place to live, get some better stuff
Speaker 1: for our kid. This that the other thing. But I'm
Speaker 1: not going back to that life. We got to find
Speaker 1: a better way to do it. You tell her all
Speaker 1: that what do we think, she says, how do we
Speaker 1: think would she be supportive of you and your decisions?
Speaker 4: Oh?
Speaker 2: Definitely, but you know, I bet she would, you know,
Speaker 2: give me that like fine, fucking whatever type shit.
Speaker 3: You know, what what.
Speaker 1: Are you leaning towards doing at the at this current point?
Speaker 2: See, I mean the extra money would be nice, don't
Speaker 2: get me rob it comes fast. But like you know
Speaker 2: you said, and as most people know, as fast as
Speaker 2: it comes, it can get taken away just like that,
Speaker 2: even faster.
Speaker 1: Man, Tyler, I just I want to I mean like
Speaker 1: you you you got you like I don't even know
Speaker 1: if you know. I mean, you know how lucky you
Speaker 1: got with all this, Like in in many of the
Speaker 1: aspects of your you. You got lucky being able to
Speaker 1: deal drugs for four years and not get caught. You
Speaker 1: got lucky that this girl that you got pregnant, that
Speaker 1: you guys are actually getting along with each other. You
Speaker 1: got lucky that you know fatherhood is is coming natural
Speaker 1: to you and not you know, giving you a hard time.
Speaker 1: You got lucky that you found a nice job, like
Speaker 1: you're you're sitting in all your blessings. Why would you
Speaker 1: want to fuck.
Speaker 7: That up.
Speaker 2: Brutal, because then, you know, if I get caught, that
Speaker 2: just means I leave her with two kids.
Speaker 1: If you could call you leave her with two kids,
Speaker 1: there's two us as a second kid.
Speaker 2: Uh, he was there before I came into the relationship.
Speaker 3: Okay, so she had not mine, but I treat him
Speaker 3: as my own.
Speaker 1: Okay, all right, you got a whole family here.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, dude, got a dog too.
Speaker 1: You're you're living the white pick of fence dream. You know, Uh,
Speaker 1: you trade the white snow for the white pick offense.
Speaker 1: I don't know why I said that, but uh, I
Speaker 1: don't know why you would want to fuck that up? Tyler.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I know.
Speaker 1: Here, let's do that. What what else? Can what? What?
Speaker 1: Before we go? What else can we do besides dealing
Speaker 1: drugs to bring in some extra money? Can? Can? Can
Speaker 1: you at least ponder some of that? Because look, I
Speaker 1: get it, you want to hustle your your You're clearly
Speaker 1: have an entrepreneurial spirit. You clearly care a lot about
Speaker 1: providing for your family. Those are all good, uh instincts
Speaker 1: to have. But I just hope that you follow those
Speaker 1: instincts productively.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, dude, I will, I mean, yeah, I'm a hustler,
Speaker 2: like anything that makes money. Like I've started doing making drugs.
Speaker 1: I love it. I like making making rugs sounds way
Speaker 1: more legal than dealing drugs.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's fun.
Speaker 3: Well, I mean I can definitely find something do that.
Speaker 1: Do that. I don't like telling people what to do,
Speaker 1: but I'm gonna do that. Do the rug thing, get
Speaker 1: artistic with it, find better ways to bring in more money,
Speaker 1: because I like we've established a thousand times you have
Speaker 1: clearly gotten very lucky with this whole situation, and you
Speaker 1: don't want to fuck that up for no reason.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Bro, all right, the computer.
Speaker 2: You know, I would I would like to give a
Speaker 2: shout out to your screener forgot his name, but he
Speaker 2: is a bro.
Speaker 1: Beautiful. That was either Tim or Andrew.
Speaker 2: Got Mud, I don't know. We were talking and he
Speaker 2: said he met you before you started. He was a
Speaker 2: mod in the Switch and Discord and then you know,
Speaker 2: you just asked him to be a screener.
Speaker 1: Well, Tyler, thank you very much for calling, and good
Speaker 1: luck to you in your future endeavors.
Speaker 2: Yeah, bro, take care of Lyle, stay safe, Tyler.
Speaker 1: Tyler, Tyler, that was an interesting one. I don't know
Speaker 1: I was baffled by this because he seemed like he
Speaker 1: had it made right, because there's just so many things
Speaker 1: that could have gone wrong, with the drug dealing and
Speaker 1: with you know, being a young father, and with you know,
Speaker 1: just sort of being in this situation with this other
Speaker 1: person where you know, she got roped up in all this,
Speaker 1: and those relationships are almost always fucking doomed to fail.
Speaker 1: But it worked out for him. It's just he keeps
Speaker 1: he keeps pressing luck, you know. But he sounded like
Speaker 1: he sounded like he's a smart man who will hopefully
Speaker 1: make a good decision. Tyler, Tyler, Tyler, thank you for sharing.
Speaker 1: Hello Connor, Hello, how's life? Connor?
Speaker 4: Hi?
Speaker 8: It's okay, Life's still care right now? How are you doing,
Speaker 8: mister ghetto Connor?
Speaker 1: It says here you're twenty two years old, You're from
Speaker 1: New York, and you have an addiction to Gatorade. Says
Speaker 1: you drink eight bottles a day and as a result,
Speaker 1: your shit is whatever color of gatorade you drink. It
Speaker 1: also says here that you're planning to turn it into
Speaker 1: an art project by trying to see how colorful of
Speaker 1: a shit you can make by combining different Gatorade colors.
Speaker 1: I actually like that idea. Is this is this all accurate?
Speaker 8: Yeah? That admittedly yes.
Speaker 1: Okay, there's a lot of aspects to this that we
Speaker 1: need to get into. But let's start with the nature
Speaker 1: of your addiction. Uh what what kind of gatorade?
Speaker 4: Is it?
Speaker 1: The Gatorade zero? Is it? The regular Gatorade? Is it?
Speaker 1: The g two?
Speaker 6: Uh?
Speaker 4: It is?
Speaker 8: I like the ones that have the little like baby
Speaker 8: bottle at the top because I feel like a baby
Speaker 8: when I drink it, Like the really vertically tall ones,
Speaker 8: the skinny ones, and like any color.
Speaker 1: M hm, you'll drink any color.
Speaker 8: Yeah, yeah, I'm not biased based on based on the
Speaker 8: flavor of color.
Speaker 4: Do you have?
Speaker 1: Okay, so you're you are open to any color, but
Speaker 1: is there any color in particular that you are actively
Speaker 1: uh the biggest fan.
Speaker 8: Of I'd say blue? And that's that's the scariest one.
Speaker 1: What do you mean by scary?
Speaker 8: Because like, like when I poop, like you can have
Speaker 8: like green poop, and you could have like red poop
Speaker 8: based on like like I don't know medical conditions, but
Speaker 8: like I don't know what medical.
Speaker 4: Condition gives you blue poop.
Speaker 8: So yeah, it's just so good but so bad at
Speaker 8: the same time, like it's so wrong.
Speaker 1: So right, So this gatorade addiction is that accurate? Eight
Speaker 1: bottles a day? Does that sound correct?
Speaker 4: Uh?
Speaker 8: Yeah, I'd say I'd say like eight bottles a day.
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay. And are they big bottles or are they
Speaker 1: the uh you said it's the one with the little
Speaker 1: nipple on it? Yeah, yeah, there's like tall, there's a
Speaker 1: pretty those are pretty tall bottles, so it's not like
Speaker 1: little mini bottles. Yes, okay. So you say it's starting
Speaker 1: to affect you. I know that we mentioned that it's
Speaker 1: affecting your shit, but is there other aspects of your body,
Speaker 1: your mind, your spirit that all this gatorade is having
Speaker 1: any effect on.
Speaker 8: It's definitely making me hate water, that's for sure, because
Speaker 8: like every time I drink water, I'm like, this isn't gatorade.
Speaker 1: M M. How long have we been drinking gatorade for?
Speaker 8: Or as probably as long as I can remember.
Speaker 1: You let me phrase that question. I know that you've
Speaker 1: been drinking gatorade forever, but like to this extent.
Speaker 8: Oh, I guess it hasn't really become a problem until
Speaker 8: like this year really, because I've just been like I've
Speaker 8: just been buying like the multi packs now and like
Speaker 8: the so like I'm buying in bulk now.
Speaker 1: Hm, So what what do you think it is about
Speaker 1: Gatorade that has you?
Speaker 4: So?
Speaker 1: I Is it the sugar? Is it the electrolytes?
Speaker 8: I honestly, it used to be the flavor, like the sugar,
Speaker 8: just like in general. But now I think it's like
Speaker 8: all I think it's I think it's I'm really just
Speaker 8: trying to make something like creative with this addiction. Now
Speaker 8: I think it's now the drive for like creative ambition
Speaker 8: through shit.
Speaker 1: Okay, so you are driven by the creative ambition to
Speaker 1: make a color of shit that nobody has ever seen before.
Speaker 8: Yeah, that's correct.
Speaker 1: And when we're talking about this shit, is it a
Speaker 1: singular color of shit or are you imagining sort of
Speaker 1: a tied eye shit situation.
Speaker 8: I think tied I would be the coolest. But so
Speaker 8: far it's been single colors, just blue or red, and
Speaker 8: I wanted to experiment to see if I can make
Speaker 8: purple or if I can make like orange out of
Speaker 8: yellow and red.
Speaker 1: M that's ambitious.
Speaker 8: It's a it's the the artist quarrel.
Speaker 1: Some would say, where do you where do you exhibit
Speaker 1: your work. Do you post online? Are you starting some
Speaker 1: sort of gallery show?
Speaker 8: Mostly it's just been been me just like admiring it
Speaker 8: afterwards and just like kind of being proud of myself.
Speaker 8: But I want to share it with the world, but
Speaker 8: I'm not sure how because I feel like that's so
Speaker 8: taboo and nobody would want to see it.
Speaker 1: Here's okay, you know what, here's the thing. You need
Speaker 1: to find a a greater either social or philosophical issue
Speaker 1: that you can claim to be exploring through your colorful poops.
Speaker 1: Can you tie it somehow into climate change? Can you
Speaker 1: tie it somehow into some sort of religious background of yours?
Speaker 1: What do you think you could tie it to that
Speaker 1: might have some form of artistic substance.
Speaker 8: Maybe I could like sell it as compost like like
Speaker 8: like you were saying, like climate change, like kind of
Speaker 8: for the environment, because like everybody sees like everybody sees brown,
Speaker 8: and like you know, like I want to be like, well,
Speaker 8: there's more. There's more just composts than than usage.
Speaker 1: There's art, see I already about and that's good sign.
Speaker 8: That's perfect, that's good. Then I could shock the world.
Speaker 1: Beautiful. I'm excited for you. Let me know when your
Speaker 1: gallery opens. You know what's funny is I know that
Speaker 1: we're fucking around right now, But I really do think
Speaker 1: if you, I really do think that if you sold
Speaker 1: this correctly, you actually could exhibit photos of your.
Speaker 4: No.
Speaker 1: I never said that. I never said it's a million
Speaker 1: dollar idea. I never said it's a million dollar idea,
Speaker 1: but I do it. I want you to know. I
Speaker 1: say this genuinely that if you you really wanted to
Speaker 1: and you really like put your mind to it, and
Speaker 1: you got like some nice you bought, like a nice camera,
Speaker 1: and you took really good photos of your different colored shits,
Speaker 1: and you like had them printed by like a quality printmaker,
Speaker 1: and you like were able to mount them and ship
Speaker 1: on like a canvas, I really genuinely do believe you
Speaker 1: could you could presented his art.
Speaker 8: You are the first person to ever say that you
Speaker 8: believe in my idea. And for that I am thankful.
Speaker 4: Thank you.
Speaker 8: Therapy.
Speaker 1: Get go, of course, go get them Connor shock the
Speaker 1: art world.
Speaker 8: Thank you so much, Thank you so much. Have a
Speaker 8: great night.
Speaker 1: Here's the thing. Tell I've been to all these like
Speaker 1: contemporary art museums and stuff, and are is all about presentation.
Speaker 1: If you put I This is something I think about
Speaker 1: all the time. If you took a video of your
Speaker 1: dog on your iPhone and you uploaded it to YouTube
Speaker 1: and the title the video was dog running around in
Speaker 1: field and it had zero views, it would just be
Speaker 1: some bullshit video on YouTube that nobody cares about. But
Speaker 1: if you rented a gallery and you with like eight
Speaker 1: millimeter film filmed your dog running around in a field,
Speaker 1: and you projected it onto a wall and you got
Speaker 1: like a nice engraved title that said dog running around
Speaker 1: field Comma twenty twenty two, and you put it in
Speaker 1: the MoMA or whatever, people would look at it and
Speaker 1: they would go, oh, yes, that's supposed to be here.
Speaker 1: That is art. So it's all about presentation. If you
Speaker 1: take pictures of your shit and you post them on
Speaker 1: Instagram just with your little foam filter, people are gonna
Speaker 1: be like, what the fuck is this? But if you
Speaker 1: put it in a gallery and you present it to
Speaker 1: people as art, now that's their first impression of it,
Speaker 1: they won't question you. They really want. I hope Connor
Speaker 1: does it. If he doesn't, I might I might have
Speaker 1: to steal his idea, because I too love gatorade. I
Speaker 1: went to the Philadelphia Museum of Art ago because I
Speaker 1: still live in Philadelphia and there's a there's a piece there.
Speaker 1: See how I called it a piece. See how I'm
Speaker 1: about to get into this. I'm getting ahead of myself.
Speaker 1: But it's crazy that I call this a piece. But
Speaker 1: the fact that I just called it a piece unconsciously
Speaker 1: just now proves the entire point of the rant that
Speaker 1: I just went on. There's a piece in the Philadelphia
Speaker 1: Museum of Art of a it's a like little like
Speaker 1: old box TV and uh, there's a recording. There's like
Speaker 1: a looping video on the TV of a clown and
Speaker 1: the clown is just staring into the camera and it's
Speaker 1: going no noarrow, no, no, no, no no. And that's it.
Speaker 1: And it's in the Philadelphia Museum of Art. And I
Speaker 1: called it a piece. Just now. If you dressed up
Speaker 1: as a clown and you took a front facing camera
Speaker 1: iPhone video of yourself yelling no, no, no, and you
Speaker 1: posted it on your on Facebook, people will be like,
Speaker 1: this guy is insane. But if you do the same
Speaker 1: thing on a fucking old video camera and you put
Speaker 1: it on a stupid TV and you put it in
Speaker 1: an art museum, people will call it a piece. That's
Speaker 1: why Connor's ship thing is not that crazy. Bruce Nauman, Yes,
Speaker 1: there we go. That's that's what it is. Shout out
Speaker 1: to Bruce Nauman. All right, all right, that was my
Speaker 1: little gecko rant on art. I hope Connor does this thing. Hello, Hello, Hey,
Speaker 1: is this Joe from Oregon?
Speaker 4: Yes? Oh my god, this is absolutely insane.
Speaker 1: Looks as it is for you. It is it is.
Speaker 1: It is even more insane for me that I find
Speaker 1: it insane that you find it insane to be on.
Speaker 4: Well, the insanity is just going around then yeah.
Speaker 1: Really, insanity really is going around, do you all right?
Speaker 1: So here's the thing is, I've been doing this thing
Speaker 1: normally on Like when I'm like shucking and jiving on
Speaker 1: this thing, I'll like like snap, like bringing up immediately like, oh,
Speaker 1: Joe from Oregon, your balls are twisted and your girlfriend
Speaker 1: hates you like whatever it is. Or I can let you,
Speaker 1: in your own words, say the thing or how do
Speaker 1: you want to do this? Do you want to say?
Speaker 1: What's going on? Do you want me to tell? Say what?
Speaker 1: The call screener said.
Speaker 4: I can say a thing, and then from that thing
Speaker 4: we can say things to each other maybe.
Speaker 1: I like that idea a lot. I like that idea
Speaker 1: a lot. All right, you say your thing, all right.
Speaker 4: So this thing I wanted to talk about is something
Speaker 4: is a thing that happened probably when I was twelve.
Speaker 4: I was twelve years old, I think sure, And I
Speaker 4: was a very anxious twelve year old. I had a
Speaker 4: lot of anxiety. Basically, anytime some small thing would happen
Speaker 4: to me, like I got a little cut on my finger,
Speaker 4: I would be like, oh my god, I have necrotizing
Speaker 4: fasci ideas. I'm gonna my skin's gonna fall off.
Speaker 6: You know, I was.
Speaker 4: I was a freak. I was super anxious about everything. Well, anyways,
Speaker 4: I was.
Speaker 9: Playing paintball with friends and kind of just having a
Speaker 9: very normal day, and all of a sudden, we finished
Speaker 9: our game of paintball, we were leaving, and I was
Speaker 9: sitting in the car, and all of a.
Speaker 4: Sudden, everything just kind of went weird. And it was
Speaker 4: kind of like, I don't know, if you've just been
Speaker 4: really really high before, it just feels like I have.
Speaker 4: I don't know, I mean basically the feeling of being
Speaker 4: extremely high, but it was like pretty much like a dream.
Speaker 4: I was like, what the fuck's going on.
Speaker 1: It says here that you had an anxiet episode that
Speaker 1: you found out was called de personalization. That's what you're describing, right, yes?
Speaker 1: Or do you realization there's there are different you know,
Speaker 1: terms for personalization.
Speaker 8: Uh.
Speaker 1: It says you described the sensation known as visual snow.
Speaker 1: What is visual Oh?
Speaker 4: Okay, okay, okay, So visual snow is this is also
Speaker 4: something that kind of came along with this strange episode
Speaker 4: where it's like a staticy like a static to your vision,
Speaker 4: like your vision. It's kind of like when you look
Speaker 4: at a TV and like you see that static, but
Speaker 4: it's kind of just like in general, when you're just
Speaker 4: looking around, it's just this strange, like very very subtle
Speaker 4: static that's kind of just aroounds when you're looking.
Speaker 1: Okay, so you're twelve years old, you're playing paintball, you're
Speaker 1: in the car without your other friends, and this shit
Speaker 1: starts happening to you, and it it sounds like it's
Speaker 1: like very intense, like like a psychedelic trip of some kind.
Speaker 1: How do you react in the moments?
Speaker 9: You do?
Speaker 4: What do you do?
Speaker 1: Do you freak out?
Speaker 4: Well, the best way I could describe the sensation of
Speaker 4: this was kind of like it just felt like somebody
Speaker 4: who can join me or something like that was just
Speaker 4: on acid. I was like, well, what the fuck, Like
Speaker 4: I don't know what's happening, but this is not right.
Speaker 4: And it was just like I don't know, like I
Speaker 4: had started being really fast, and I didn't say anything
Speaker 4: because obviously it just it felt like if I said something,
Speaker 4: I would sound I'm like an insane person. So I
Speaker 4: kind of just out there and just kind of tried
Speaker 4: to act as normal as possible until I got home
Speaker 4: and I was living with my dad at the time.
Speaker 4: I remember what year this was, but I was around
Speaker 4: twelve thirteen, I think, and I just kind of like
Speaker 4: went home, went to my room for a little bit,
Speaker 4: and then eventually I just kind of was like, oh, hey,
Speaker 4: hey dad, this this there is something wrong, Like there's
Speaker 4: something really wrong. I don't know if my brain's broken
Speaker 4: or what's going on, but yeah, like I feel I
Speaker 4: feel like I'm fucking like I'm crazy, Like I don't know.
Speaker 4: Like he it kind of was just like this back
Speaker 4: and forth for a while of just like he was like, what, well,
Speaker 4: what do you mean? Like what what what the fuck
Speaker 4: is that supposed to mean? Like you don't feel like
Speaker 4: something's right, Like it doesn't don't feel like you're in reality,
Speaker 4: like are you want? It's kind of funny.
Speaker 1: And and while you're having this back and forth with
Speaker 1: your dad, are you are you still experiencing the sensation?
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, it was just like this kind of permanent
Speaker 4: sense of like I kind of described it as a
Speaker 4: call screen, like it was a video game, but really
Speaker 4: it was more like a dream. Like it was just
Speaker 4: like it just seemed like.
Speaker 1: You, for whatever reason, felt like you were in a
Speaker 1: dream or you were you were experiencing your life, not
Speaker 1: from your own perspectives.
Speaker 4: Yes, like almost exactly like that just that strange feeling
Speaker 4: you get in a dream where like people don't like
Speaker 4: I kind of like, yeah, like the only reason I
Speaker 4: said video game was just stranger because like we're talking
Speaker 4: to somebody, felt like you were like talking to like
Speaker 4: an NPC. Like it was just like, really like what
Speaker 4: what is this?
Speaker 1: Well, okay, okay, so this happened to you when you
Speaker 1: were twelve years old. You're twenty five now, so this
Speaker 1: was half your life ago. In any form, Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: in any form has this sensation appeared again to you?
Speaker 4: So it went on for about like two or three
Speaker 4: months kind of just like well, a pretty uh it.
Speaker 1: It lasted two or three months like continuously.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, no, no, and oh my god. It was horrible.
Speaker 4: And luckily for me, it was kind of on like
Speaker 4: a summer vacation from school, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 4: So it was just like it's just strangely good timing
Speaker 4: for something weird and horrible happened like that. But I
Speaker 4: never ended up I ended up going like to a
Speaker 4: doctor and they were like, Okay, well we don't really
Speaker 4: know what to say. You know, it's not like there's
Speaker 4: anything physically wrong with you, so you know, they're like,
Speaker 4: well you could guess, I guess you could get like
Speaker 4: a cat skin and whatever. We didn't end up going
Speaker 4: down that route, so there was Yeah. So so they
Speaker 4: referred me to like a psychiatrist, and uh, well, I
Speaker 4: don't know, like we were going to go down that
Speaker 4: route and start figuring, you know, trying to figure out
Speaker 4: what's wrong with me. Okay, but between me and my
Speaker 4: dad trying to decide what to do, we did didn't
Speaker 4: really end up doing that. It was more or less
Speaker 4: just I guess me trying to self manage this weird
Speaker 4: episode that. I mean, it was just like every day
Speaker 4: I thought, Okay, I'll wake up and it'll be gone.
Speaker 1: But you know, you know what's weird looking back on
Speaker 1: it kind of said the mede, this is fucked up.
Speaker 1: But like you're twenty five years old, and like now
Speaker 1: I remember being thirteen, and in a weird way, when
Speaker 1: I look back on my memories of like being thirteen
Speaker 1: in the summer, they feel like oddly psychedelic. It was
Speaker 1: any part of this looking back on it like kind
Speaker 1: of fun.
Speaker 4: Oh man, I wouldn't really say fun. I mean I was,
Speaker 4: like I said, I was an absolute rack back then
Speaker 4: when it came to anxiety leading up to this point.
Speaker 4: And so this whole episode kind of just I mean,
Speaker 4: I didn't talk, I didn't hang out with friends. I
Speaker 4: didn't really talk to many people. I kind of just
Speaker 4: and I don't know if this made this worse, but
Speaker 4: I just kind of secluded myself to my house, to
Speaker 4: my room. I was constantly looking online trying to look
Speaker 4: for answers because yeah, I mean, I didn't really seem
Speaker 4: like there was many.
Speaker 1: Okay, so so it was not fun.
Speaker 4: It was pretty much the opposite. It's fun. Yeah, it was.
Speaker 1: Okay, all right, I know you don't have to stand
Speaker 1: me on that. I was just saying I did because
Speaker 1: I mean, look well, I mean I'm the onlyers I
Speaker 1: asked is because you know, people take drugs to intentionally
Speaker 1: achieve the effects that you are describing, uh, you know,
Speaker 1: for recreational purposes. So I didn't know if if it
Speaker 1: was fun. But but okay, you're telling me absolutely.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Okay. So so to sort of wrap this up, your
Speaker 1: twe and what I what I wanted to know, and
Speaker 1: I feel like we got sidetracked off of this into
Speaker 1: something because you were telling me the last of the
Speaker 1: three months, which goddamn that's crazy. So okay, to wrap
Speaker 1: that part up real quick. It just faded away after
Speaker 1: three months. How did that happen?
Speaker 4: Well, I don't know. So it's either okay, it's either
Speaker 4: and this is just my own kind of theory. It's
Speaker 4: either it went away or I sort of got used
Speaker 4: to that feeling of just strange. I don't know, but
Speaker 4: at a certain point it kind of started feeling like, Okay,
Speaker 4: I can manage you know, this part of my life.
Speaker 4: I could go outside. I can you know, I can
Speaker 4: go because I mean I ended up, going back to
Speaker 4: school and all that, and so it was kind of
Speaker 4: just like I guess, gradually being forced back into the world.
Speaker 4: I started feeling a little more at ease, a little more.
Speaker 4: I don't know if that's seven a good way to
Speaker 4: describe it, but all.
Speaker 1: Right, So this kind of thing of you saying you
Speaker 1: don't even know, you don't even know if it went
Speaker 1: away maybe just adjusted to it almost brings me into
Speaker 1: what I wanted, what I really wanted to get at
Speaker 1: before we go. Is you all right? Like I said,
Speaker 1: this happened half your life ago, you were twelve, you're
Speaker 1: twenty five. Now, how do you feel now? Like has
Speaker 1: this has this depersonalization thing happened to you at any
Speaker 1: other stage of your life? Has it resurfaced? Do you
Speaker 1: have any connection to it mentally? You know right now?
Speaker 1: Like what do you where? Does this issue stand with you? Contemporarily?
Speaker 4: Temporarily I would say I haven't had any more like
Speaker 4: very intense episodes like that. I do still struggle with
Speaker 4: like anxiety, just as in general. I have gone to
Speaker 4: a different therapists and have been kind of diagnosed with
Speaker 4: like some what's call it, it's like a general anxiety
Speaker 4: type of thing. But I don't take medications, and it's
Speaker 4: it's kind of just been a self managing thing, which
Speaker 4: I don't obviously, I don't think that's the best method.
Speaker 4: I think I probably could use more medical or you know, therapy,
Speaker 4: but it I don't know it is. I have not
Speaker 4: had anything as substantial as that recur. But the visual
Speaker 4: snow actually is something that I still that is still happening,
Speaker 4: and I have still not had a explanation of what
Speaker 4: that is.
Speaker 1: And you're telling me just you're telling me that when
Speaker 1: the visual snow happens, there's not a single party that's like,
Speaker 1: all right, it is kind of cool.
Speaker 4: Okay, So one way I could describe if you're in
Speaker 4: complete darkness in a room, it is fucking just like
Speaker 4: pure TV static, Like it looks fucking weird. I mean,
Speaker 4: it's it's really strange. I went to an eye doctor.
Speaker 4: They said, Okay, your eyes are fine. There's absolutely nothing
Speaker 4: wrong with your eyes. The only thing that we have
Speaker 4: not done, like I said, has been like a brain
Speaker 4: scan to see, like I don't know if there's something
Speaker 4: physically wrong with my brain, which maybe it would be
Speaker 4: a good step to do. But other than that, yeah,
Speaker 4: it's it's pretty fucking weird. I wouldn't say it's fun
Speaker 4: or cool, but it's it's interesting.
Speaker 1: Hmm, well, you know it's it's uh, it's it's weirdly
Speaker 1: interesting to hear you say that. You you know, when
Speaker 1: you were twelve, you don't know if you if it
Speaker 1: went away or if you just adjusted to it, like
Speaker 1: like you don't, like there's no way that you still
Speaker 1: feel like that now, but but you just kind of,
Speaker 1: you know, learned to live in your own perception of reality.
Speaker 4: It may be just my I am living my own
Speaker 4: version of reality. I mean, fuck, I mean, it's it's
Speaker 4: weird to say it that way, but maybe I mean,
Speaker 4: I'm talking to the echo on the computer.
Speaker 1: It's true, you are talking to a gecko on the computer,
Speaker 1: which is a classically psychedelic experience. So you could still
Speaker 1: be depersonalized right now. But is there anything you want
Speaker 1: to say to the people of the computer before we go?
Speaker 4: I guess just you know, take care of your mental
Speaker 4: health and uh, just I don't know, fucking I don't yeah,
Speaker 4: that's you know, I didn't prepare anything. I'm sorry, but yeah,
Speaker 4: just just just mental health supportant.
Speaker 1: Guys, Thank you for calling Joe. Appreciate you sharing your story.
Speaker 4: Hey, thank you, love you get.
Speaker 1: I almost like I think I got like a weird
Speaker 1: contact high from that call, because I don't remember the
Speaker 1: last I Oh, I'm in a weird headspace right now.
Speaker 1: I don't remember the last I remember being present for
Speaker 1: the last five minutes of that call, but I don't
Speaker 1: remember the first five minutes. I only remember the second
Speaker 1: half of that call. I don't know if it's I
Speaker 1: got some weird contact high from the subject matter. I
Speaker 1: don't know if I'm bullshitting myself right now, but I
Speaker 1: don't remember the beginning of that call. I only remember this.
Speaker 1: I only remember the last five minutes. The beginning of
Speaker 1: that call for me is in some nether place. I mean,
Speaker 1: I haven't recorded so I can go back and look
Speaker 1: at it and I'll go, oh, right, But if I
Speaker 1: just have to go off of my my currently existing
Speaker 1: memory with no sort of photographic elements, the first half
Speaker 1: of that is, uh is in another region. This was weird.
Speaker 1: This was a weird thing. It's put me in a
Speaker 1: weird headspace. Thank you. Who is his name? Joe? It
Speaker 1: was it Joe? I think it was Joe. Hold only check. Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it was Joe. Thank you for sharing your story. Joe. Hello, Nicky, Hi, Yeah,
Speaker 1: how are you doing that?
Speaker 7: Yeah? No, I'm I'm pretty I'm pretty good right now
Speaker 7: talking to the gecko on the computer.
Speaker 1: It is an honor to be a gecko talking on
Speaker 1: the computer to you, Nikki. It says here that you
Speaker 1: are twenty years old from California and that you think
Speaker 1: this is a very interesting thing that we're about to
Speaker 1: get into here. I have a lot of questions about this,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna say. It says here that you think you
Speaker 1: gave your best friend and your enemy chlamydia in a threesome.
Speaker 1: You're worried about telling them that you might have been
Speaker 1: the one to give them chlamydia. Okay, so this is
Speaker 1: a two parter here. I assume you're calling to talk
Speaker 1: about the fact that you're worried about telling them, and
Speaker 1: we'll get to that. But first I want to know
Speaker 1: how exactly you got involved with a threesome, in a
Speaker 1: threesome with not just your best friend but also your enemy.
Speaker 1: Who is this enemy that you had tell me about?
Speaker 1: This enemy? Oh?
Speaker 7: Yeah, no, this so the enemy is.
Speaker 6: A boy that her and I both hooked up with separately,
Speaker 6: but she hooked up with him first, and like he's
Speaker 6: kind of in our friend.
Speaker 7: Group here, but like he comes over sometimes, and like
Speaker 7: they started hooking up. Maybe they hooked up like twice,
Speaker 7: and I I had a boyfriend at that time. I
Speaker 7: broke up with him, and then I started hooking up
Speaker 7: with him. But I asked her permission if she said
Speaker 7: it was chill, So I went for it and ended
Speaker 7: up not being chilled and putting a damper on our friendship.
Speaker 7: We got over it because we were best friends, but
Speaker 7: like she was met at me for a while, and
Speaker 7: you know, I didn't actually really like him. I just
Speaker 7: kind of hooked up with him.
Speaker 8: So so wait.
Speaker 1: A minute, hold on, ye, how is he your enemy?
Speaker 1: What has he done to to? I mean, because because
Speaker 1: this is a nikki enemy, I mean that's a strong
Speaker 1: it's a strong label. Is that someone who's really really
Speaker 1: wrong to you, not not just once but continually like
Speaker 1: a like a I mean an enemy that's not just
Speaker 1: somebody who pissed you off once. That's a recurring antagonist
Speaker 1: in your life. What does he done to gain this
Speaker 1: title of enemy?
Speaker 10: Well, you know, maybe he's not an enemy to the extent,
Speaker 10: but he is the worst. Like he like just is
Speaker 10: just so egotistical and like really bugs on my friends.
Speaker 10: And like after he caused this damper on me and
Speaker 10: my best friend's friendship, the whole friend group has kind
Speaker 10: of turned against him because they realized how like much
Speaker 10: he like boasted about like cooking up with both of us,
Speaker 10: and like he's just the egotistical asshole.
Speaker 1: So you gave him chlamydia?
Speaker 4: Yes, I did.
Speaker 7: I well, I don't know.
Speaker 1: Like all right, So so you're concerned about telling you, okays,
Speaker 1: he had a reason with this guy and your friend
Speaker 1: and you you think that you might have given them lamydia,
Speaker 1: and you're afraid to.
Speaker 7: Tell, you know, I he's he put okay, he put
Speaker 7: us both in a group chat after we had the
Speaker 7: threesome and texted us and said, you know, he said,
Speaker 7: I got tested and I have it, and we both
Speaker 7: were kind of like fucked, we both got tested. We
Speaker 7: both have it, and I I was kind of thinking back.
Speaker 7: I was like, well, you know, I could have given
Speaker 7: it to them because I had hooked up with somebody
Speaker 7: in between the time I hooked up with him and
Speaker 7: the threesome. And I never got tested.
Speaker 1: Look, here's the thing, uh, Nikki, chlamydia. Yeah, chmittee is
Speaker 1: not that bad. I've said it before on this podcast.
Speaker 1: I've had committee twice. I'm fine. You know, you take
Speaker 1: a pill, no, and you're done. You know, it's not
Speaker 1: like you gave them like aids.
Speaker 7: You know.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 7: No, this is humbling to hear because like, I'm freaking out.
Speaker 7: I did take the pills, and I'm I'm I'm fine
Speaker 7: now I didn't have any any symptom. But just the
Speaker 7: thought of like giving my best friend and my enemy chlamydia,
Speaker 7: it's like a win and a lose.
Speaker 2: But like.
Speaker 6: Chlamydia, it's just.
Speaker 1: Nick Nikki, Nikki Nikki just just just well, first of all,
Speaker 1: I'm there's a couple of things here. First of all,
Speaker 1: it sounds like you, I mean, look, sure you had
Speaker 1: sex with this other person and then you had sex
Speaker 1: with them, so like, but I mean, look, we don't
Speaker 1: know who. We don't know who your friend was having
Speaker 1: sex with. We don't know who this guy was having
Speaker 1: sex with, so could have been anyone at this point.
Speaker 1: Because yeah, because here's the thing, right, it could have
Speaker 1: been anyone because we don't know who your we don't
Speaker 1: who your friends been having sex with. We don't know
Speaker 1: this guy's been having sex with U was I gonna
Speaker 1: say it? Does it even matter at this point who
Speaker 1: gave who what? I mean, you're all gonna take the pill.
Speaker 1: You're all gonna be fine. Maybe in the future, I
Speaker 1: don't know, maybe you learn a lesson of some kind
Speaker 1: of of you know, uh, STDs are bad or whatever
Speaker 1: it is. But at the end of the day, the
Speaker 1: who did what is like, what is anyone even gonna
Speaker 1: do with that information? That's you know, remotely productive. But
Speaker 1: if it makes you feel better, I mean, you don't
Speaker 1: know for sure it was you, unless if you got
Speaker 1: tested beforehand and then you had exce with them, which
Speaker 1: that would have been bad. But that's not really what happened. Uh,
Speaker 1: I don't I don't really think that, you know. I mean,
Speaker 1: like I said, it's anyone's guess as to who was
Speaker 1: patient zero here.
Speaker 7: Yeah, no, that's true. Like I guess, it doesn't matter
Speaker 7: in the end. But you know, it suck like everybody
Speaker 7: because he told all his friends and all my friends know.
Speaker 7: And now it's just because STDs that are like embarrassing,
Speaker 7: like it is stigmatized.
Speaker 6: But It's like, damn, we all like had a threesome
Speaker 6: as it should be embarrassing.
Speaker 1: It means you got laid, and that's who doesn't like
Speaker 1: to brag about getting laid. It's like, how is it?
Speaker 1: How can it be both a stigma but also a
Speaker 1: thing that everyone's bragging about all the time.
Speaker 7: Yeah, well, because I mean that kind of touches in
Speaker 7: the lines of like gender norms, because like, if a
Speaker 7: girl's bragging about sex, she's sort of as a float.
Speaker 7: But it's the boy's bragging about a threesome, he's like
Speaker 7: a thing. And yeah, and and then you add somdia
Speaker 7: to the mex and it's just what the fuck I
Speaker 7: don't know anymore?
Speaker 1: Well, uh, listen, you know you don't have to subscribe
Speaker 1: to gender norms. You can subscribe to whatever the fuck
Speaker 1: you want. Nikki, you know, uh, what do you what
Speaker 1: do you what do you feel in your heart is
Speaker 1: the right thing to do? Well?
Speaker 7: I know my best friend wouldn't care if I gave
Speaker 7: for chumydia. The guy, you know, he's a slut himself,
Speaker 7: so he could have definitely given it to us. Like,
Speaker 7: you know, maybe I'm kid slut. But it's just like
Speaker 7: it doesn't matter, I guess in the.
Speaker 3: End, totally doesn't matter.
Speaker 1: In the end. That's the I would I would put
Speaker 1: a period there. Honestly, I don't think it matters. I mean, look,
Speaker 1: here's what matters. Here's what does. Here's what matters is. Look,
Speaker 1: what's your name, Nikki. I've said it five thousand dollars, Nikki.
Speaker 1: All that matters, All that matters is that you be safe,
Speaker 1: all right, You be confident in whatever choices you're making
Speaker 1: to do in your life. And that's that's sit at
Speaker 1: the end of the day.
Speaker 7: That made me feel better.
Speaker 2: I appreciate that.
Speaker 1: Good is there Is there anything that you want to
Speaker 1: say to the people of the computer before we go, Nicki.
Speaker 7: You should trick on streams. It's the best and most
Speaker 7: awesome thing you could do change my life.
Speaker 1: I'll think about it. I feel like I'm gonna permanently,
Speaker 1: like develop a twitch or something, and then I can't
Speaker 1: be a gecko on the computer anymore. I don't know.
Speaker 1: I'll figure it out. Good luck to you in your
Speaker 1: future endeavor's NICKI.
Speaker 7: Yeah, thank you so much, Greg, Nicki forever, Yeah, never.
Speaker 1: Be goes on the line making your phone calls every night.
Speaker 1: Never becon, goes to time.
Speaker 2: Teaching you cloud in the mid of your life is
Speaker 2: not an expert