Speaker 1: Look man, oh, I see you, my oh, and look
Speaker 1: over there. How is that culture? Yes? Goodness, let's calls
Speaker 1: we out further ado. Welcome your host. Matt Rogers says, boy, yeah, hello,
Speaker 1: ding Dons calling. I'm pitching up tonight. I'm going up here.
Speaker 1: It's great that you explore that part of your voice.
Speaker 1: You never are residents and highever Hi, guys, has everyone
Speaker 1: during tonight? All right? Great? This is so fun. I
Speaker 1: think this is the most packed audience we've had doing it.
Speaker 1: Who here listens to the podcast? Cool, let's good, that's fun.
Speaker 1: Who here doesn't listen to the podcast? Welcome to say,
Speaker 1: I welcome them, We welcome you. Oh my god, well,
Speaker 1: welcome to last culture Restas Live. I don't think so, honey.
Speaker 1: What you're about to see is um wow, just a
Speaker 1: tapestry of rage yescopia of anger. Oh yeah, overflowing. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and wait, we should I guess we should place these.
Speaker 1: These These are I'm Joanne hats, a little bit different,
Speaker 1: a little bit different, a little bit different from our
Speaker 1: usual culture rests hats. But you have to change with
Speaker 1: the time. Can we say one thing? These are literal
Speaker 1: Joanne hats from the lady Gavas store official merch. And
Speaker 1: this merch is a little chitty. It's a little shitty
Speaker 1: shitty merch which we should not put up with as
Speaker 1: as a capitalists like consumer. I'm sorry, but Lady Gaga,
Speaker 1: I don't think so, honey, Lady Gaga. Merch. Look now
Speaker 1: we're get to have the merch build like look at
Speaker 1: the flip flop, look at all silly? How much it
Speaker 1: was a gift, was a gift for both of the
Speaker 1: gift and it was a Christmas gift. Christmas gift. So
Speaker 1: um but wow, Christmas gift. I just said, like Santa
Speaker 1: falling off the roof, that'd be a good gift for Christmas.
Speaker 1: So applicable. Too many contacts. Oh my god. Current events.
Speaker 1: Current events are happening right now. You know that's the
Speaker 1: beauty of current events is they're concurrent. They always are
Speaker 1: happening at all times. Actually, okay, to be honest, Matt
Speaker 1: and I are a little out of the loop this week.
Speaker 1: There's also just no fun news happening this week. It
Speaker 1: feels like a very boring news week. It's just a
Speaker 1: lot of white gaze succeeding. Oh yeah, oh got a
Speaker 1: little ramp, Hey that's only okay when I say it, Um,
Speaker 1: but guys, give it up for your Anthony's of the world.
Speaker 1: You're Adam Reponds of the world. You're about Hello World.
Speaker 1: Who is Team Trixie? Who is Team Changelo? Dang? I mean,
Speaker 1: I don't know. I'm gonna say. I think it's so
Speaker 1: cool that in the year eighteen, one out of four
Speaker 1: final four queens is white and is still able to
Speaker 1: beat the pocs out. You are a political bit, I'm political,
Speaker 1: just you eight, I have a I have a read
Speaker 1: on government. I'm gonna do it. You're gonna do tonight
Speaker 1: and I'm gonna do tonight. We should explain to them
Speaker 1: what it is. Okay, So when I don't think so honey,
Speaker 1: we we're about to see fifty comedians, Um do you?
Speaker 1: And I don't think so honey? Which is a one
Speaker 1: minute rant on anything that's just grinding these people's gears,
Speaker 1: pushing these people's buttons, really getting them in rage, and
Speaker 1: they're so mad at culture and they're gonna take one
Speaker 1: minute to rail against And I mean, can we also
Speaker 1: say this is especially a gag today because this actually
Speaker 1: is the two year anniversary of the last culture Racist
Speaker 1: podcast two years old, two years old, the Terrible twos.
Speaker 1: Now we're gonna start getting like really shitty behavior wise
Speaker 1: and like start sucking on everything, which I believe happens.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't have children. Um yeah, I'm
Speaker 1: I'm gonna I'm gonna teeth and just I'm gonna scream
Speaker 1: in the middle of the night boys, um um. And also, wait,
Speaker 1: it's the one year anniversary of I don't think so
Speaker 1: Honey Live Show. Isn't that fucked up? And that it
Speaker 1: was the two It's it's like two anniversary separate. It's like,
Speaker 1: I'm when a mom and a daughter have the same birthday?
Speaker 1: Did you know that my mom and my aunt have
Speaker 1: the same birthday three years apart? That's so crazy? And
Speaker 1: also get this, also get this, though their brother I
Speaker 1: have the same birthday as him, It's weird day. Is
Speaker 1: that an astrological thing? No, who believes in astrology? Who
Speaker 1: doesn't think that on the positions of stars a thousands
Speaker 1: of light years away has any bearing on our personal behavior?
Speaker 1: Thank you? You guys should read Carl Sagan. Absolutely, I
Speaker 1: don't know. Can I tell you there was a moment
Speaker 1: where someone got me with it? Though they were like, well,
Speaker 1: our body is mostly water. You don't think that the
Speaker 1: tides should change the way you are. And I was like, okay,
Speaker 1: hold on, I'm willing to change my whole world view
Speaker 1: because of what you said. Oh my god, that's what
Speaker 1: makes me a dangerous person, a pseudoscience lover. Um. Well, wow,
Speaker 1: before we get going on, I don't think so, Honey's
Speaker 1: we do have to bring out a very special guest. No, normally, um,
Speaker 1: normally a Nette Benning is in town to talk to us.
Speaker 1: She's in l A. She's not, she's in l a career.
Speaker 1: So she did send us a message and she thought
Speaker 1: we were going to do really well tonight. Yes, so
Speaker 1: very nice. Um, but instead we have an amazing guest. Um.
Speaker 1: You know, this year has been, um, you know, the
Speaker 1: year of women, and it's Women's it's Women's um Awareness month.
Speaker 1: Who marches Women's Month? And International Women's Day was last
Speaker 1: week beautiful and we should all be aware of women.
Speaker 1: Think is that realize that Women's Awards, the Women's awareness
Speaker 1: But and we have to honor this rich tradition of
Speaker 1: women who who just really just you know, start the
Speaker 1: conversations that need to be had. And so tonight, we
Speaker 1: have an amazing guest. We have the world's only female
Speaker 1: men's rights activists. Yeah. Now we've been told to address
Speaker 1: this person by one name only and one name only. Yes, everyone,
Speaker 1: please welcome Annie, Annie, the only the only female. You
Speaker 1: go get yeah, because you know you can. Are you
Speaker 1: good to see so many men here? Yeah? Amen, guy's
Speaker 1: you know, arriving wights looking strong, looking good? All right, Okay, Annie,
Speaker 1: how how is it going? How's your march going? It's
Speaker 1: women's It's women's month. It's women's month, which is exactly
Speaker 1: why my um my issues are so important. Yeah. I
Speaker 1: just started teaching classes, actually, and I would love to
Speaker 1: plug ahead. Yeah, so I'm teaching uh men to hashtag
Speaker 1: men to classes a little pun. It's a little pun,
Speaker 1: uh And basically it's, uh, this really cool workshop where
Speaker 1: alt are minded people can come together in one room
Speaker 1: and it's a safe space for men to get together
Speaker 1: and just play. You know, we're just playing. You know.
Speaker 1: Tucker Carlson says that men are under attack. This is
Speaker 1: something that you agree with? Yeah, who said it? Yes? Yeah, yes,
Speaker 1: under attack. You know you've got your Harvey wine season,
Speaker 1: your woody allens. These guys are geniuses crazy? Would you
Speaker 1: even know what movies are without these two men? And
Speaker 1: we we just we we cough them up and we
Speaker 1: lock them away, no questions either, face any league repercussion.
Speaker 1: You wait, you wait till March is over, Women's Awareness
Speaker 1: Month is over, and then ship will start happening. Can
Speaker 1: I just because podcasts are a visual medium and we
Speaker 1: we can't see this at home. Your mouth is absolutely
Speaker 1: destroyed with lips. You kind it all over your teeth
Speaker 1: and really everywhere but your lips. Listen. I woke up
Speaker 1: in a dizzy. I'm freaking ticked at the world. Tis
Speaker 1: I've ticked off. That's actually real of culture number eighty nine,
Speaker 1: bring back ticks. It's not piste off, it's ticked off.
Speaker 1: I just want to say that women, Okay, we hear you,
Speaker 1: and what like what work gets your goat about these women? Like?
Speaker 1: What is the what is what's like the worst thing
Speaker 1: about them? Well, it's just like you know, they're pointing
Speaker 1: the fingers so hard. But it's like, think of all
Speaker 1: the bad women out there. You've got that snapper turtle,
Speaker 1: Miss all Obama. There's one the snapper turnal. You got
Speaker 1: Megan Trainer out there telling all the women to be unhealthy.
Speaker 1: She's a problem, Megan Trainer, Megan Trainers, it's a problem too.
Speaker 1: I think you might be misinformed about Rupol. Rue is
Speaker 1: not trans Rupol's a drag queen. Well, well, I understand
Speaker 1: what I see on TV, and he's as a shape shifter.
Speaker 1: He would agree with you there, Yeah, well yeah it is.
Speaker 1: Women are are being very problematic, is ladies. Let me
Speaker 1: address the ladies. Excuse me, ma'am. Oh god, I don't
Speaker 1: mean to upset you, but but the thing that the
Speaker 1: things that men think about horror a lot worse than
Speaker 1: the things they do. Go Well, for instance, what's the
Speaker 1: worst thing you ever thought about a woman? It's a trick,
Speaker 1: I'm getting you know. We ever see a woman, you're like, Oh,
Speaker 1: she's so beautiful. I on a killer so no one
Speaker 1: else can have. Yeah, we all are we doing it?
Speaker 1: So this guy, he's on my side. I got power
Speaker 1: to you. Brother. Men, men's thoughts are worse than their actions,
Speaker 1: and that should be a comfort. Yea, that should be
Speaker 1: a comfort. Oh my god. Okay, So Aunt Annie Annie,
Speaker 1: you just did like a little faux you know, Joe
Speaker 1: curtsy or like a little like like a little shell
Speaker 1: read dead. Right now, chivalry is so dead that it's
Speaker 1: going back into the cycle of like super hard chivalry.
Speaker 1: Like first, what's the feminine nasis? Don't want you to
Speaker 1: open the elevator door for them? Okay, they don't scream
Speaker 1: at you if they said, got as nasty? Nasty women
Speaker 1: not very nice, very nice? Does that really? Do you
Speaker 1: think that maybe it's just women should be a little
Speaker 1: bit nicer ability policy? I think it's just again, when
Speaker 1: you're so blind and screaming your throat out, you can't
Speaker 1: see what you're doing to men, and men have it
Speaker 1: bad too. I hope you how so that well they
Speaker 1: just do. I mean, it's it's just so hard to
Speaker 1: take all that abuse. Okay, you know what I mean?
Speaker 1: And and and that's what my classes are all about.
Speaker 1: I wish more, I wish more women women took my
Speaker 1: classes and they could truly see how they're behaving. Lot,
Speaker 1: are there a lot of gay men and rolling in
Speaker 1: the class? Well? I have one. Can you take the class?
Speaker 1: Where are you teaching this class? Yeah? We have w
Speaker 1: every Sunday. We we started around eleven am. We tossed
Speaker 1: back some bruise, we tossed bean bags, We toss anything
Speaker 1: you throw out there, and we just we we rehash
Speaker 1: these scenarios, improvised scenarios on how on ways that we
Speaker 1: can improve communication between men and women. Can I see
Speaker 1: a question? Are you in a relationship? Yes? I am okay, okay?
Speaker 1: What are they like? What is your partner like? They them?
Speaker 1: How about he? I forgot about it? Remember remember remember
Speaker 1: when he and she was okay? I cannot all right,
Speaker 1: said Annie, I think we've all we're already learning. It's
Speaker 1: like it feels like you're already spreading your teachings. Oh
Speaker 1: my god, And that's beautiful. That's beautiful. And Annie, would
Speaker 1: you please join us in singing? But I don't think so, honey.
Speaker 1: National anthem. We're not a nation, but we do have
Speaker 1: a national anthem, just to kick things off. Annie, Um,
Speaker 1: I think, thank you so much. We sent you the lyrics,
Speaker 1: so I think we can all just pull them up
Speaker 1: and then sing together. If my phone you can just
Speaker 1: read off when you feel there are things in this
Speaker 1: world that you hate. When you feel there are things
Speaker 1: you don't like, when you think, you speak out and
Speaker 1: your nie to shout and you say whatever you lie,
Speaker 1: I don't think so, honey, Base so shot, so bitch,
Speaker 1: I don't think so. I don't think so, child, I
Speaker 1: don't think so big Wow. Sign ups in the back
Speaker 1: corner on there, you'd like to thank my class. She
Speaker 1: keep America great again, Keep America great again. Hagga, keep
Speaker 1: American grad again. Everybody. That was Andy Donneley, last Culture
Speaker 1: Recess Icon Award winner Annie Donneley. She joins Pat Reagan
Speaker 1: as a lost Coulture resays I kind of war winner,
Speaker 1: and Pat Regan was so upset about that he refused
Speaker 1: to show up tonight. That's true, all right, I think
Speaker 1: we can we can kick things off with some I
Speaker 1: don't think so, honey. I think we're ready. You guys ready, Okay,
Speaker 1: So I think what's first gonna happen is Bowen. It's
Speaker 1: Bowen's turn to demo or prepared, I don't think, Sonny.
Speaker 1: And then I'm gonna go up and show everyone in
Speaker 1: the troll bull and so basically, you guys, everyone has
Speaker 1: an option. Tonight we have fifty comedians stage and they
Speaker 1: have either prepared and I don't think so many topic
Speaker 1: or they can reach into the animals. Is that am
Speaker 1: I using that word? Right? Yeah? Well, I don't know
Speaker 1: my words, But I do know my heart and that's
Speaker 1: the most important thing. Thank you, babe, I love you. Um,
Speaker 1: so you know what happened. Um, we lost the bowl
Speaker 1: that we call So we have a glass blown we
Speaker 1: were for hours. We made um and it's filled with
Speaker 1: troll bull topics. Now, these topics are designed to fuck
Speaker 1: people up. They should be hard to go negative on. Yes, yes.
Speaker 1: Past examples have included Sasha Milio, Obama, Julie Andrew d
Speaker 1: Um Yes, uh, the Women of Broadway. Yeah, things of
Speaker 1: that sort. So we've got a lot of really good
Speaker 1: ones in here, and I'm gonna demo that in just
Speaker 1: a second. But it's time for bow and Yang to
Speaker 1: take the mic and prepared. I don't think so many
Speaker 1: about let's go give it up your hosts. This one's,
Speaker 1: this one's we'll see all right, Okay, here we go.
Speaker 1: So this is Bowen Yang's. I don't think so, honey,
Speaker 1: and his time starts now, I don't think so, honey.
Speaker 1: America's crumbling infrastructure, Oh no no, no, We're not gonna
Speaker 1: have pedestrian bridges collapse and kill people. No, no, no,
Speaker 1: I want at least five hundred billion dollars in spending
Speaker 1: for our train tracks, for our highways, for our airplanes. Honey,
Speaker 1: I don't ever want to wait two more hours on
Speaker 1: the tarmac because fucking Mitch McConnell didn't want to do something.
Speaker 1: Oh bitch, I better never be on a derailed AM
Speaker 1: track or else. I wall's stream before I save everybody's ass,
Speaker 1: America's infrastructure. You're busted. You. I need you to go
Speaker 1: call your congress person and demands more spending on it.
Speaker 1: For a structure five seconds, do better. That's do better,
Speaker 1: do better. That was bowling eyes. I don't think so, honey. Everybody, okay,
Speaker 1: I am nervous. Oh no, no, no, give it up
Speaker 1: for Matt Rogers my co house. Do you like the
Speaker 1: ensemble Mariah carry, thank you? Okay, Matt, I think we
Speaker 1: have something for you. Okay, here we go. Oh wow
Speaker 1: um new co anchor of The Today Show Hoda Codda
Speaker 1: and her time starts now. I don't think so, honey.
Speaker 1: Holda copy. If they wanted you, you would have gotten
Speaker 1: the job. Listen, Men's right activists. It doesn't stop at
Speaker 1: any Dolly, Honey, bring back Matt loud No, I'm just kidding.
Speaker 1: Hold on, listen. I love you, but you were next
Speaker 1: to Savannah, you got to up your game. It's rule
Speaker 1: up coaching number thirteen. When you are next to Savannah,
Speaker 1: you gotta up your game. Savannah got three serving you hair,
Speaker 1: serving you direct camera address game. You are too colloquial.
Speaker 1: You are trying to be too much our friend. I
Speaker 1: want journalism, honey, Hoda copy. Let someone else drink with
Speaker 1: Kathelee if you're gonna move to the nine am hour.
Speaker 1: I feel like we need to be spreading the wealth,
Speaker 1: not giving all the wealth to Hodah. That is feminism,
Speaker 1: more money for all women. Right, five seconds and there's
Speaker 1: one more thing, Hoda copy, go on the view because
Speaker 1: we need to get Megan the Cane out. I'm just waits.
Speaker 1: I actually like Megan the Cane now, no no no
Speaker 1: no no no no, no, no no no. I was
Speaker 1: famously pro Jenna Diabela and a time Megan McCain. But
Speaker 1: I feel like I've fallen down many Megan McCain wormholes,
Speaker 1: and I like her as a person, even though I
Speaker 1: think she's disguided, and that's on us hard to shut
Speaker 1: the funk up. Do you guys remember when Megan McCall
Speaker 1: wrote for The Daily Beast and was a fucking and
Speaker 1: sufferable piece of ship like she's always been. Yeah, I do,
Speaker 1: and she sucks on the view. Thanks all right, everyone,
Speaker 1: please welcome Megan McCall. Megan No, oh my god, that
Speaker 1: would be the dag. I would, I would, I would,
Speaker 1: I would like pay my respects to Megan McCain. I
Speaker 1: really want her on the show. Guys, are you ready
Speaker 1: for our first group of the night. Oh my god.
Speaker 1: We're bringing people out in groups to five as always,
Speaker 1: and this first group is a doozy. Please give it
Speaker 1: up dousy. Oh wait, we just say we've named every group. Yes, now,
Speaker 1: this first group is called Amazing Thunder. Please welcome Luken Zala,
Speaker 1: Chelsea Davison, You, Dora Peterson, Joanna Raka, and Magan O'Neill. Yes,
Speaker 1: Amazing sun Nerve brought to the stage tonight. Yes, curtsy,
Speaker 1: I'm through in the's midwinter late winter fashion. Hey, staying warm,
Speaker 1: staying stylish? All right. First out to the mic is
Speaker 1: Luganza Wed. Yes, remove put on the culture. Everyone has
Speaker 1: the option of wearing the culture hat or not if
Speaker 1: hats aren't your thing. Respect, But how does this stay
Speaker 1: look at that? He knew exactly how to put it all.
Speaker 1: Who is it gonna be pre selected or trouball? Oh
Speaker 1: he has got something tell him in the mic. Here
Speaker 1: we go, listen. I don't think so, honey, and his
Speaker 1: time starts now. I don't think so honey. Diversity bitch,
Speaker 1: excuse me? Okay, who is diversity for not me? Okay?
Speaker 1: What am I being included in? And who's doing the
Speaker 1: including white people? Okay, bitch, I am not interested in
Speaker 1: the seat at the table. I want the table. I
Speaker 1: want the dining room, I want the house. I don't
Speaker 1: think so, honey. Okay. I am sick and tired these
Speaker 1: white people liking diverse shows like they know that these
Speaker 1: are real minorities talking. They don't talk like that those
Speaker 1: a white writer. I want people of color show runners.
Speaker 1: I want executives. I want I want, I want it all. Okay,
Speaker 1: do you know what I want? I want you to
Speaker 1: back up. I want you. I want white people to
Speaker 1: disappear for fifteen and twenty years seconds off catch up.
Speaker 1: Trixie Mattel is white supremacy tricks But no, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: you say in two seconds what it is? Tricksie Mattel
Speaker 1: is white supremacy is a great blackout I'm done with her.
Speaker 1: We should say Trixie Mattel is of Native American descent.
Speaker 1: That is technically true. But but but sure, but yeah, yeah, alright,
Speaker 1: please welcome to my Chelsea Davison. It's Chelsea, Chelsea. Chelsea
Speaker 1: pitched a few topics. Do you are you gonna go?
Speaker 1: Pre selectorna prelected? It's going to be I had a
Speaker 1: lot of options of things I hate, Okay, Chelsea Davison's
Speaker 1: I don't think so, honey. Her time starts now. I
Speaker 1: don't think so, honey. Girls who claim to be witches,
Speaker 1: I'm looking at you, every single fucking woman in l A. What. No,
Speaker 1: you're not a witch. You just want to be quirky
Speaker 1: and you're too cheap, cheap to buy a ukulele. Okay, sorry,
Speaker 1: get some overalls, bitch. I don't think so, honey. You're
Speaker 1: a little fucking covin. Okay, it's you and your girlfriend's
Speaker 1: hanging out drinking wine. You're not, which is your basic bitches, Okay,
Speaker 1: what do you even do? You light some candles, you
Speaker 1: burn some sade, or you casting a spell that makes
Speaker 1: you smell like a bath and body work. I don't know.
Speaker 1: I don't think so honey, your crystals, okay, you're shitty
Speaker 1: fucking crystals. Look, if they're not magic, they're just fucking rocks. Okay,
Speaker 1: if you really want to buy crystal, at least meth
Speaker 1: gets you high. I don't think so, honey. You guys
Speaker 1: aren't witches. If you really want to be quirky and original,
Speaker 1: get some fucking bangs. Okay, quirky girls. Everyone, please welcome
Speaker 1: your door, Peterson. Yes, yes, yes, yes, run away ready,
Speaker 1: New York Fashion Week, come on, thank you, thank you
Speaker 1: so much. Dora. Is it going to be pre selected
Speaker 1: or trouball pre selected? Please? Okay, this is you, Dora
Speaker 1: Peterson's I don't think so, honey. Her time starts now. Okay,
Speaker 1: I don't think so, honey. The Zodiac killer, what murder
Speaker 1: is a legal? Honey? You can't kill people? If people
Speaker 1: I would like to kill, but I don't do it, honey,
Speaker 1: Are you kidding? You broke the law? Honey, you are
Speaker 1: a dirty little outlaw. Honey. And what so many? What
Speaker 1: the heck was with those cryptic let us? He said
Speaker 1: to the thirdays, what the funk was that? The symbols?
Speaker 1: It's a bad letter. Let us need an alphabet. They
Speaker 1: start with dear so and so that they end with
Speaker 1: warm regards and you signed your name. Oh my god,
Speaker 1: and because of mother, because there's too much true crime media.
Speaker 1: I thank god every god damn day that podcast exists.
Speaker 1: When you're running around trying to kill people, if you're
Speaker 1: out there, you're so alive, don't stay with me, and
Speaker 1: I'm scared of you. Okay, thank you Peterson. Everyone, it's
Speaker 1: time for Johanna Rothkop. Give it up on the jacket,
Speaker 1: Come on, cheese, absolutely, Joanna. Is it gonna be pre selected?
Speaker 1: You're holding a phone. I think it's gonna be pre selected,
Speaker 1: pre selected. It's all right, Joanna Rothcops. I don't think so, honey.
Speaker 1: Her time starts now. I don't think so, honey. People
Speaker 1: who like books like, First of all, that's a very
Speaker 1: cool brag that you know how to read. I think
Speaker 1: most of us up here also know how to read.
Speaker 1: But also it's just it's so fucking vague. It's like
Speaker 1: saying I like food, I like nature, I like television,
Speaker 1: which people also saying I don't think so honey to
Speaker 1: them either. Also, think of books that there are. There's
Speaker 1: the Bible, there's a dictionary, there's mine, comp you know
Speaker 1: you see like a girl in Instagram, like sitting at
Speaker 1: a coffee shop like hashtag perfect Saturday, my latte and
Speaker 1: mind comp and also think and think who writes books?
Speaker 1: Bill O'Reilly Hitler, as I said, Real Housewife of New
Speaker 1: Jersey and former Current fell and Teresa Judais. One but books, sorry,
Speaker 1: including four cookbooks. It's I'd be more specific, bitch, Walter
Speaker 1: Joe her books here on last cultures us burn them all.
Speaker 1: I've only read eight books in my entire elf. That's
Speaker 1: that not a that is well documented. Please welcome megant
Speaker 1: on me. Come on, so yes, it's a cap come on,
Speaker 1: sweater super villain, sweater cape, supervillainvilla and I don't know,
Speaker 1: keep clapping. I could really never get enough the shoes
Speaker 1: to gonna be pre selected or trouball. It's going to
Speaker 1: be pre selected because I have no natural enemies. I
Speaker 1: had to invent one. Oh, I don't think so, honey.
Speaker 1: Her time starts now, I don't think so, honey. Black
Speaker 1: Mirror on Netflix. Listen, folks, if you're anything like me,
Speaker 1: you watched the first episode and thought, finally a show
Speaker 1: for me, a show about pig fucking. But then do
Speaker 1: you think they brought the pig fucking bath. I don't
Speaker 1: think so, honey. And I watched a second episode and talk, great,
Speaker 1: some kind of fucked up talent show talent could be
Speaker 1: fucking a pig, but I don't think so, honey. Start episode.
Speaker 1: There's a fucking contact with all your memories in it.
Speaker 1: And I thought, great, a memory of a guy fucking
Speaker 1: himself a pig back? What should they do it? Don't
Speaker 1: like so, honey. John Draper was on an episode. I thought, great,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna watch John Draper fuck up pig. What do
Speaker 1: you think that? And when I say I, you say,
Speaker 1: don't think so, honey, honey, bring back the pig fucking
Speaker 1: the morning. Give you this girl amazing fucking her Peterseral
Speaker 1: Megan on me, Oh my god, tasting. We don't have
Speaker 1: to a rocking start bowing artside. I would say so
Speaker 1: as well. Energy is sick with everyone wanting to fund pigs. Yeah,
Speaker 1: never give it up. For our next group. This group
Speaker 1: is called Headlines. Headlines Welcome to the stage, Aaron Market, welcome, Basic,
Speaker 1: all of our heavy, blunt, don't say slow Headlines Lights,
Speaker 1: Oh my god, this is this is an all star group.
Speaker 1: This is very fum. Okay, first to the mic. Is
Speaker 1: gonna be ms? Aaron Marky, Yes, got the book, shut
Speaker 1: the book, got the book eron, all right, So here's
Speaker 1: the book. Respect, respect, tom cat um Aaron. Is it
Speaker 1: going to be pre selected or trouble? You've got a notebook?
Speaker 1: I see, I'm on the My god, don't although it
Speaker 1: was in her, it was in her mind. Ye, this
Speaker 1: is trust your journal, Trust, trust your journal, Aaron Marky's.
Speaker 1: I don't think so, honey. Her time starts now. Okay,
Speaker 1: I don't think so, honey. Celebrities who denied the lesbian
Speaker 1: rumors circulating about. Yes, I am talking to you, Kendall Jenner.
Speaker 1: You come from a long lineage of deniers, Whitney Houston,
Speaker 1: Dolly Parton, Janelle Monet. Why would you want to act,
Speaker 1: honey like that isn't the most special thing you could
Speaker 1: be a part of, or Sweetie, is drying it a
Speaker 1: part of the ritual? I don't think so, honey, Kendall Jenner.
Speaker 1: If you think you are not the Leah Delaria of
Speaker 1: the Kardashian family, guy, then you're fucking dead wrong. And
Speaker 1: if you're ashamed of that, then I cannot respect you
Speaker 1: as a Victoria's secret angel seconds. I don't think so, honey.
Speaker 1: Game men who act like they have never seen or
Speaker 1: know what a vagina is. That was your fucking first memory,
Speaker 1: you motherfuckerium pray, thank you, unbelievable. You know that's actually
Speaker 1: really culture number sixty seven cancel. General is the lea
Speaker 1: of the Kardashians market. Now, please welcome Matt Wilkins. Yes
Speaker 1: he's swapping hat, come on rocket, yes, fashion, Okay, So
Speaker 1: do we think yes? Do we think this is a
Speaker 1: pre selected topic? Are we doing the trollball? I think plection?
Speaker 1: This is Matt Wilkes is. I don't think so, honey.
Speaker 1: His time starts now. I don't think so, honey. Paper
Speaker 1: straws as a substitute or plastic straw honey. I go
Speaker 1: to a coffee shop every morning for my fucking cold
Speaker 1: brew coffee, and they switched out the plastic straws with
Speaker 1: paper straws, and coffee drinking has become a living health
Speaker 1: scape nightmare. Sucking on a paper straw it's like sucking
Speaker 1: on a wet diaper. It tastes like a standardized tests.
Speaker 1: I would rather have my thrount swabbed for gonnarea. I
Speaker 1: can't repeatedly then suck anything, got a paper strong, thank you? Welcome.
Speaker 1: You know what it does. It feels so funk up
Speaker 1: on your bad It feels sound up on your mouth.
Speaker 1: It's bleach baby, Oh my god. Next up, please welcome
Speaker 1: Isaac Oliverac. He's been booked on the show three times.
Speaker 1: He finally made it. Isaac Oliver et, Wow, what is
Speaker 1: it gonna be? Trollball or pre selected? Pre selected? Scared
Speaker 1: to the tall tonight, honey, I's we're edging, We're dging
Speaker 1: for the troll ball. I'm scared of a minute. Uh,
Speaker 1: this is Isaac Oliver's. I don't think so, honey. As
Speaker 1: time starts now, I don't think so, honey. Wedding reception
Speaker 1: playlists without any slow songs. You fucking monsters. We flew here,
Speaker 1: we gave you gifts. You're the only people who get
Speaker 1: to stand close and sway. It's a fucking wedding, not
Speaker 1: a spin class. We're exhausted, my god. Don't you think
Speaker 1: we'd like to get a little close to each other
Speaker 1: once in a while. I don't want to be close
Speaker 1: to anyone. I need weddings for this seconds. I can't
Speaker 1: patrol the room with prosecco and go melancholy at like
Speaker 1: eleven thirty to uptown Funk five seconds, play a slow song.
Speaker 1: That's what it is. Minute Isaac Oh, I get scared
Speaker 1: of the slow song because there's an expectation that you
Speaker 1: need to get up there and get close. But then
Speaker 1: until until he got to the melancholy a part of
Speaker 1: just like walking around with a glass of something amazing. Guys,
Speaker 1: welcome to the stage. Any block to the mic, I
Speaker 1: mean to the mic. She doesn't know this, but one
Speaker 1: time I waited on her at Brooklyn Crab Wait. Iconic Flats, Iconic,
Speaker 1: thank you, thank you. I'm not proud of this outfit.
Speaker 1: We feel like it's great and is going to be
Speaker 1: pre selected or trolls got to rage in my sister.
Speaker 1: Time starts now. I don't think so, honey. Comic book movies,
Speaker 1: I am not watching any more three hour movies about
Speaker 1: happy meal toys fighting on a rock. I think we
Speaker 1: need reparations for women who have had to sit through
Speaker 1: those movies against their well. I want some movies that
Speaker 1: are just as stupid as those, but about our stupid interests.
Speaker 1: I want a movie that's just two and a half
Speaker 1: hours of Rachel McAdams trying on blouses is I guess
Speaker 1: because there are a lot of plasses out there, she
Speaker 1: looks good at all of them. Just be her pulling
Speaker 1: back the dressing room curtain doing what do you think?
Speaker 1: The movie is called what do you Think? And if
Speaker 1: that doesn't do it for you, how about this three
Speaker 1: hours of Kathy Baits chopping wood because it's a ride
Speaker 1: with wonder woman, the like, here's a strong woman. No,
Speaker 1: we need Kathy Baits preparing for winter. For second? About
Speaker 1: back behind the cabin just swinging an axe and a nightgown.
Speaker 1: And the movie is called Yeah, that's any blond everybody,
Speaker 1: I'm believe I would go see what do you think?
Speaker 1: What do you think? I'm gonna go see that's gorgeous everyone.
Speaker 1: Here we go, Here we go. Duels say, slow, oh
Speaker 1: my god, this lot. Get a load of it. Okay, yes,
Speaker 1: take it in, take it in. Don't say I get
Speaker 1: in listen. Are we doing a pre selected topic or
Speaker 1: are we going into the reaches of the troll ball
Speaker 1: Sloan story. Let's see what happens. Okay, here we go.
Speaker 1: Your I don't think so, honey. Topic is having a baby.
Speaker 1: You're time starting to us. I don't think so, honey,
Speaker 1: me not having a kid right now, Okay, I'm thirty
Speaker 1: four years old. Do not tell my fucking manager. I
Speaker 1: am fucking riddy. I have been leaguing since the age
Speaker 1: of the Left. And where is this fucking baby? Every
Speaker 1: fucking Monday I have to sleep very carefully not to
Speaker 1: destroy my pillowtop mattress. Where the fund is this baby?
Speaker 1: As I have looked like a mother of three since
Speaker 1: the agents and take the show Ferry that body, body
Speaker 1: body said, the Clinton's line office, where is this Bobby
Speaker 1: seconds I walked around the city. The mark with jee
Speaker 1: pitties has to come in jeez, because Jesus loved me
Speaker 1: five seconds. Where is the Jewish man to get me
Speaker 1: knocked up with beautiful kids? Where is it? And that
Speaker 1: someone cut off this baby giving up for headlines headline
Speaker 1: Aaron Market and well guys like Oliver Plotting, It'll say,
Speaker 1: slow you all, I mean that was severe severe up
Speaker 1: in here. Okay everyone, this group is called okay, cut everyone,
Speaker 1: please welcome, say a Sherman, Ruby carp give it up
Speaker 1: for les a trigger all Bro and Carolina Theresa come
Speaker 1: on you Oh wow wow water group okank you bank
Speaker 1: you guys, please welcome to the mic. Sah Sherman. Yes, okay, Sarah, oh,
Speaker 1: I love you entomb. This is give me color Ballalla alright,
Speaker 1: So are we doing a pre selected topic or the
Speaker 1: troll ball? We are doing a pre selected topic. Here
Speaker 1: we go, then here we go, Sarah Sherman, this is
Speaker 1: your I don't think so, honey, and your time will
Speaker 1: begin now. I don't think so, honey. People who say
Speaker 1: you can't kiss babies on the mouth, Okay, I don't
Speaker 1: think so, honey. You can get the baby on the mouth.
Speaker 1: You can give the baby on the head. You can
Speaker 1: get the baby on the feet, You can be in
Speaker 1: the baby belly. You can get a baby give me
Speaker 1: a body part. You can get the baby on the eyeball.
Speaker 1: You can give us that baby anywhere. Honestly, babies don't
Speaker 1: even have mouths, if you think about it, a baby
Speaker 1: body just a bag of down, you know. Baby. Honestly,
Speaker 1: when you kiss a baby anywhere on the body, you're
Speaker 1: basically kissing its mouth because it's so small and your
Speaker 1: mate face is so big that you're basically kissing a
Speaker 1: baby on the mouth. Anytime you're getting baby, you can't
Speaker 1: kiss a baby on your mouth on the mouth, raise
Speaker 1: your hands second. Okay, Well, like I'm I feel like
Speaker 1: we're vulgarizing the love language. I'm kissing of the moth,
Speaker 1: which is sort of like a friend gesture. Okay, you
Speaker 1: can kiss a baby on the mouth. World Peace starts
Speaker 1: with kissing a baby on the mouth. That woman and
Speaker 1: there are shirt. The conversation about world piece, y'all starts
Speaker 1: with the mouth starts with the mouth. Oh my gosh. Okay,
Speaker 1: please welcome and wonder who before? Okay, Miss Ruby, what
Speaker 1: do we think? Are we doing a pre selected topic
Speaker 1: or troll ball? You're doing a pre selected topic. This
Speaker 1: is Ruby Carbs. I don't think so, honey. Her time
Speaker 1: starts now, I don't think so, honey. Teenage boy, I'm sorry.
Speaker 1: They all want you to be their mom. Oh, I'm sorry,
Speaker 1: you're dead. That's why you have depression. News flash, we
Speaker 1: all have daddy issues. And find me the Queen's to
Speaker 1: have your mom's undercook chicken. What would I throw the
Speaker 1: Queen's for you? Your favorite movies The Godfather have original
Speaker 1: just like every other white boy on the Upper West Side.
Speaker 1: I'm Sam, We're best after ever. Right to click press
Speaker 1: movie ever, what where did that come from? And you
Speaker 1: know nothing about movies because you've seen West Anderson one
Speaker 1: and they all stop skateboarding. You are living off of
Speaker 1: your mom trust fund. Stop asking me for dudes because
Speaker 1: you're too scared to see my body in person. Why
Speaker 1: would you invite to your house when your mom is
Speaker 1: my second I do not think so, honey. Fucking teenage boys,
Speaker 1: and give Ruby park without for Ruby Carkfurt for being
Speaker 1: part of the school walk out on wednesdayes hell, yeah,
Speaker 1: so walk out on Wednesday? Fuck yeah? All right, everyone
Speaker 1: gird your Lawrence. It's time for Lisa training. Yes, oh Lisa, Lisa,
Speaker 1: the hat is working on you. Look at that show.
Speaker 1: I'm doing a pre select, Lisa. This is your I
Speaker 1: don't think so, honey. This is the moment and your
Speaker 1: time starts now. Okay. People that don't live on the
Speaker 1: coast Sernace City, you do not get an equal vote.
Speaker 1: I don't think so. He No, our American Eagle jeans
Speaker 1: the best you can buy? Half a vote? Half what happen?
Speaker 1: Do you think Kona Girl has good sushi? Half a vote?
Speaker 1: Are you in Wyoming? You don't get to vote? Pack
Speaker 1: up off our lives. What are you trying to save?
Speaker 1: There's nothing. It's strip malls and Applebee's. You're disgusting. I travel,
Speaker 1: I travel. I went to Corpus Christi, Texas. Their water
Speaker 1: was poison. Okay. I went to Tolsa, Oklahoma. Guess what
Speaker 1: their number one tourist attraction. A hole in the middle
Speaker 1: of town. They don't know how deep it goes. You
Speaker 1: don't have a missions art restaurant or in our music.
Speaker 1: You don't fucking vote. Our food is better, we see
Speaker 1: better things. You're losers. I don't want to pretend we're equal.
Speaker 1: Get out of my town. Where tregor Honestly, that's a
Speaker 1: great platform. Will Lie's a run. We have to start
Speaker 1: asking that question. Here we go. Give it up her,
Speaker 1: Miss Ali Brown. Come on, Ali Brown Hall, come Brown Shoes.
Speaker 1: I like him coming. Okay, here we go, you Ali, Yes,
Speaker 1: is this a troll bow moment or a pre select
Speaker 1: the moment? You guys? I gotta blowout so we're sure
Speaker 1: she are doing a troll ball? Yeah, we all gonna blowout.
Speaker 1: You do a troll ball because I think you're gonna
Speaker 1: troll you better get a blowout. I saw a lot
Speaker 1: of blow ups backstage. We'll see here. Okay, okay, okay, Ali, Yes,
Speaker 1: your troll bowl. Topic is a piano, the instrument of
Speaker 1: a piano, and you're time starts down. I don't think
Speaker 1: so honey piano taking your back. I'm mate, you're sold.
Speaker 1: I'm in Mrs Lewandowski's living room. She's teaching me how
Speaker 1: to play. Guest is not doing well, Ali Brown. In
Speaker 1: case you're consumed, guest is on stage right now, Ali Brown,
Speaker 1: I got big hands. Guess you can't play piano. That's
Speaker 1: monkey right here, because once you get passed, don't right me.
Speaker 1: You've got to play one little thing with your left
Speaker 1: hand and another thing with your riders like that. I
Speaker 1: like stability. I am a broad dr forest parents, listen up, piano.
Speaker 1: You take your grand dass and you find a warehouse
Speaker 1: sing as you have no room in my life or
Speaker 1: in my heart. You know why because as I mentioned
Speaker 1: before to forest parents, which means smaller houses but separate
Speaker 1: five so ERDs. I don't think so honey, piano, but
Speaker 1: I do think so honey, Cassio keyboards. Thank you a trouball.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, that is how you undo. It is time
Speaker 1: store on the stage. Carolina, Teresa, come on. Yes, yes, yes, yes,
Speaker 1: see the daddy shoot. Shoot, Oh my god, Carolina, what's
Speaker 1: gonna be pre selected or trouball? I'm going bowl. Okay,
Speaker 1: I'll pick for you. I'll pick for you. Here we go,
Speaker 1: all right, so let's task. Wow, it's getting brave up
Speaker 1: in here. Oh my god, my god, oh my god. Okay, Carolina,
Speaker 1: your trouball topic is the Obama's National Gallery portraits that
Speaker 1: they have done. You have to go. Your time starts now.
Speaker 1: I'm fools whenever you're ready. No, look, Clay, honey, Obamas
Speaker 1: artistic porch or whatever he said. Okay, I don't think so, honey.
Speaker 1: The portrait wasn't beautifully enough. But it wasn't artistic enough, Michelle.
Speaker 1: Obama's eyebrows did not put a shutter into my soul.
Speaker 1: Don't they did not? Okay? Obama didn't look like a daddy.
Speaker 1: Here looks like a daddy. Obama didn't made me want
Speaker 1: to just take off all my clothes around it some honey,
Speaker 1: And but the wide open No, we didn't know we
Speaker 1: did it. How do I? Dare you? Based black? Dare
Speaker 1: you based on the boat? Damn Ba's not read go
Speaker 1: not amazing? How got hit it? Wiley Hyde, Wiley, You're
Speaker 1: not gonna stroll up in hair and paint the beautiful
Speaker 1: as bards in the old Bama. I think maybe the
Speaker 1: whole my parents raised me not to bet up. Give
Speaker 1: it up for okay, Cue Dan Sherman, Ruby Carr, lead
Speaker 1: the Trager, Ali Brown and Carolina Teresa. Yes. Wow, a
Speaker 1: lot of excitement in the room. This next category is
Speaker 1: leggendary children. Legendary children, Please give it up for Nathan
Speaker 1: Leeue Graham. There you go, Come on, come on, n
Speaker 1: from Michel to Swords, Please give it up for Ellian Glazzer,
Speaker 1: Shanovia Large and miss Aps my own. Come on. Legendary children, mom,
Speaker 1: legendary Nathan, you get ready for this? Well you welcome,
Speaker 1: Welcome him, Welcome him, respect, the presence of greatness, In
Speaker 1: the presence of greatness, the presence of greatness. Look at
Speaker 1: the outfit. Come on, look at please the charcoal. This
Speaker 1: is on money, Nathan. Is it going to be pre
Speaker 1: selected or trollable? You want to check the monitor? Hello? Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: we can hear you. All right now, all right, so
Speaker 1: we're doing are something? Okay? Alright, this is Nathan Lee
Speaker 1: Graham's I don't think something. God, you guys look so amazing.
Speaker 1: You know, pink is in. That's rule of culture fourteen.
Speaker 1: Pink is in, and your time starts now. I don't
Speaker 1: think so, honey. Walking down the god damn side walk listen.
Speaker 1: I got three words for you, A breast fall back.
Speaker 1: When my single lass is walking down. In your couple
Speaker 1: of lasses coming down, one of you needs to paul back.
Speaker 1: You cannot. You cannot walk thirty seconds and the person
Speaker 1: on the inside is the one that needs to fall back.
Speaker 1: You can keep talking. Sound travels ask a scientist. I'm famous.
Speaker 1: Get the funk out of my way. A bit stiff
Speaker 1: to do, black bitch, hash ship turn out five seconds
Speaker 1: finished off, get out. That's one. That's Oh my god.
Speaker 1: I thank god. I thank god. They've got every day.
Speaker 1: They got every day. Everyone. Michelle desmar led to go,
Speaker 1: come Michelle, Yes, here we go, baby, Michelle. Is it
Speaker 1: gonna be pre selected or troll ball pre select? Just words?
Speaker 1: I don't think so many of her time starts now.
Speaker 1: I don't think so, honey. Posh Spice isn't going on tour,
Speaker 1: no bitch. But the Spice girls lied to us, and
Speaker 1: it is time that we all accept that them bitches
Speaker 1: sold off the merchandise. They said friendship is forever. They
Speaker 1: fucking lied. They did not even stay friends. Every single
Speaker 1: one of them bitches were back. They fucking got cheated on,
Speaker 1: They got publicly humiliated, they got beaten up by Laskin men,
Speaker 1: and then they went back to their husband's. A woman
Speaker 1: of color only recently being able to wear leopard print
Speaker 1: without being heckled by peoples. Spice, you took out your boom, implu,
Speaker 1: then you entered fashion and we all accepted it. So
Speaker 1: I don't think so, honey, You bitch are going on tour.
Speaker 1: She should go on tour. She shot? Is she doing?
Speaker 1: What else? Is she doing? Her skinny ass? Okay, guys,
Speaker 1: welcome Elliott Glazer. Love him Elliott? What's it gonna be? Appreciate?
Speaker 1: And I thought they could go either way? Plect Okay,
Speaker 1: so Elliott your I don't think so, honey, time begins. Okay,
Speaker 1: I don't think so, honey. Gay guys who post thirst
Speaker 1: traps with the hashtag I miss summer, Bring back Summer.
Speaker 1: It's coming. Summer is coming back. If you want to
Speaker 1: show me your pubs, show me your pubs. If you
Speaker 1: want to show me a gym pick, show me a
Speaker 1: gym pick. I don't care about the seasons. You don't
Speaker 1: care about the fucking seasons. Just just just show me
Speaker 1: your butt. That's fine, but it's fine. I don't care
Speaker 1: about summer. If you care about summer, I don't care
Speaker 1: about summer. I don't need fifteen. It's just it's that simple.
Speaker 1: Nobody cares about the seasons. We're not children. We children
Speaker 1: care about summer. You're a gay adult man. Put a
Speaker 1: shirt on or take it off, but stop talking about summer.
Speaker 1: And that's what stopping gay man. Stop it, gay man,
Speaker 1: show us her body and shut the funk up. Oh
Speaker 1: my god, Okay, it is time for Chanovia Large No
Speaker 1: be classic champion sweatshirt. Come on me, alright, So what
Speaker 1: do we think we do? Yeah, I'm going shoa largest.
Speaker 1: I don't think so, honey. Her time starts now, all right,
Speaker 1: I don't think so honey. The fifty Shades of Great franchise,
Speaker 1: We're gonna be more specific. I don't think so, honey.
Speaker 1: My raggedy ass roommate who saw the movie one time
Speaker 1: and decided, Okay, I think I'm into B D s
Speaker 1: M now, Like no, I think it doesn't work that way.
Speaker 1: She saw the movie once, got on okay cuping and
Speaker 1: found this musty ass dirty dick b D s M
Speaker 1: bay and they've been practicing it in our apartment. I
Speaker 1: can't fucking sleep. Okay, all right, let me be claire.
Speaker 1: I have no problems with the b D s M community. Okay,
Speaker 1: you guys know what you want. You asked for, and
Speaker 1: I'm here for that. You need to be robbed up
Speaker 1: in the bedroom to get get off. I support you.
Speaker 1: But my problem is when you start breaking bed frames
Speaker 1: and busting holes in the walls at random hours of
Speaker 1: the night when I'm trying to sleep in the room
Speaker 1: that I pay rent for. I shouldn't. I should be
Speaker 1: able to do that. Okay, I've been woken up to
Speaker 1: the sounds of weird sex noises where I don't know
Speaker 1: if you're enjoying yourself. Are you scared for your life? Handcuffs,
Speaker 1: breaking headboards, banging against the wall that we share. Bit,
Speaker 1: you don't live alone, Okaya, rent here, I should be
Speaker 1: able to sleep. She rent here, Let her sleep her sleep.
Speaker 1: If she pays rent, she better be able to sleep.
Speaker 1: Novices give it up for acts, man, Let's go home
Speaker 1: to god things. Honestly, I have to sign my sources.
Speaker 1: It takes a village. This was gifted to me about
Speaker 1: Gottalina right there on the left, the village, Bish, and
Speaker 1: I love you that support. All right, listen, are we
Speaker 1: doing a pre selected prelected This is x my os.
Speaker 1: I don't think so, honey, her time starts now. I
Speaker 1: don't think so, honey. White motherfucker's who ain seeing black panther?
Speaker 1: Let me tell you, stepthing. Are you bad because you're
Speaker 1: just see yourself represented when that was the white motherfucker
Speaker 1: that was called upon when needed. That's what y'all aast
Speaker 1: is here for. Don't talk to me about it, Alan,
Speaker 1: I literally come and see why people are like Hi,
Speaker 1: Can I order a cafe and tell you like the
Speaker 1: reason I haven't seen back panthers because it's like I
Speaker 1: didn't see it's that motherfucking guilt. Bish, You know your ash,
Speaker 1: You see that it seem that these beautiful black people
Speaker 1: it's just elevates. It's sally and our hair is beautiful
Speaker 1: even when it gets wet. Goddamn. I want to be
Speaker 1: in that universe. White people, everybody right now, go to
Speaker 1: bandego and just buy it ticking. We've already beat toy story.
Speaker 1: What do you allen? Stuff by Dick? But black your
Speaker 1: fuck you? Okay, seconds, okay in the last night, I
Speaker 1: wanna say gold see Black Panther. That's what forever, that's
Speaker 1: one minute. Yes, it's the best movie. That's the most amazing.
Speaker 1: For the legendary children. Natana Swart, Elliott Glancer, be a
Speaker 1: large and ask now, oh boy, how are you feeling?
Speaker 1: You're feeling hot? Everyone's feeling good. We got one more
Speaker 1: group here, y'all your fucking world. These are the boys
Speaker 1: and the band. We got our two straight boys in
Speaker 1: the entire show with some amazing drag performers. Give it
Speaker 1: up for John true Bread, get it up for a pearl,
Speaker 1: Then give it up for jan Sports, give it up
Speaker 1: for roads Day and Missa. Come for guys. Oh my god,
Speaker 1: what a tableau. Yes, we love this tableau. Looking the
Speaker 1: Spice girls. These are the Spice girls right there, John
Speaker 1: true Bridge, John, it's time get up John Troubridge. Everybody
Speaker 1: looking cute in a hat about to look gorgeous and
Speaker 1: another hat. All right, So John, here's the thing. We
Speaker 1: give you, guys an option and it's for tropell Or
Speaker 1: priest like the topic, so I wonder what you'll choose.
Speaker 1: I have to come here, braver even to choose the trouble.
Speaker 1: Absolutely straight thoughts say straight here, we gotta listen, bitch
Speaker 1: your I don't think so onny. Topic is Count Dracula
Speaker 1: and starts now. I don't think so, Count Dracula. Um.
Speaker 1: People are supposed to fucking die. Okay, people are supposed
Speaker 1: to die eventually. Okay. You can't just walk around all
Speaker 1: day like you know. I was here when the fucking
Speaker 1: Revolutionary War happened. Good, suck my dick, Count Tracula, Suck
Speaker 1: my fucking dick, Count Dracula. And you're not just gonna
Speaker 1: suck my blood. I don't know why. Like vampires think
Speaker 1: they can seduce me, I'm not gonna fuck a vampire
Speaker 1: and your pale ship. You have sharp bass teeth. You're
Speaker 1: horrible to fucking be around already. Second, your your houses
Speaker 1: are dank and dark and hard to get to. I
Speaker 1: gotta drive up a fucking mountain to your bitchipond. You
Speaker 1: think I'm just gonna go up to your fucking mansion
Speaker 1: to let you turn me into one of you cooks. No,
Speaker 1: fuck you, Count Dracula. I'm gonna die when I'm fifty
Speaker 1: five like everybody else here. That's right, Trouball. I love it.
Speaker 1: You look at him and that stuff. We have a
Speaker 1: stud as look at you go. I love your shoes. Ash.
Speaker 1: What's gonna be pre selected or Trouball. Let's let's do
Speaker 1: the ball alright, So you're you're I don't think so, honey.
Speaker 1: Trouball topic is Leah Remedy's book, Leah Remedy's book called Troublemaker,
Speaker 1: about the trials of her time. I'm in scientology and
Speaker 1: your time starts now. I don't think so, honey, Leah
Speaker 1: Remedies book. I've already had to watch you in a movie,
Speaker 1: a bunch of TV shows, and now I have to
Speaker 1: read something you wrote. We get it. You had a
Speaker 1: really hard time. You're not covering any new grounds. If
Speaker 1: you want to write a book, Lea Remedy, choose a
Speaker 1: topic that hasn't been done to death by an HBO
Speaker 1: documentary you a thousand times. I'm gonna be honestly a
Speaker 1: remedies book. I don't totally know much about you, Lea
Speaker 1: Remedies book, but here's the thing. Don't be a remedies book.
Speaker 1: If you want to name yourself troublemaker, maybe make some trouble.
Speaker 1: Seems to me like you're just pandering to a bunch
Speaker 1: of people already agree with you. That's not making trouble
Speaker 1: with a remedies book. That's just called shooting down the middle.
Speaker 1: Ye your pearl man, Your pearlman, he really gave a tour. Wow. Absolutely, Okay,
Speaker 1: here we go. It is time for miss Jan Sports. Yes,
Speaker 1: Jan Dan, my god, Hea, hello Joanne, we're here, both here,
Speaker 1: both Joanne? Listen. Okay, are we doing a pre selected
Speaker 1: topic or the troll ball? We're gonna do? Pre select? Absolutely,
Speaker 1: this is Jan Sports. I don't think so, honey, and
Speaker 1: her time starts now. I don't think so, honey. Actors
Speaker 1: who refer to the first day of rehearsal as their
Speaker 1: first motherfucking day of school. Baby, my name is Jan Sports.
Speaker 1: I am a singer, I am a drag queen. I'm
Speaker 1: not not a dancer. I'm a dreamer. And I'm a
Speaker 1: former actor. Okay, i am a former actor. Because of
Speaker 1: these fucking idiots who say that their first day of
Speaker 1: school is rehearsal. There is a word that is meant
Speaker 1: for the theater, and it is called rehearsal. I think
Speaker 1: I think a fucking status about this at least once
Speaker 1: a month, and sometime it's like, but you, nobody, it's okay,
Speaker 1: because like if the first same school were meeting new
Speaker 1: people and I'm like, yes, it's called rehearsal. You dumbass.
Speaker 1: You are not getting your seconds. You are not getting
Speaker 1: your degree from your non equity production of Oklahoma out
Speaker 1: in bum fuck Illinois. Okay, now, everybody excuse me to
Speaker 1: fucking go to my rehearsal from my non equity tour
Speaker 1: of Junie B. Jones Dance Sports Chan Sport Fantastic. It
Speaker 1: is tired. You want to take a big old fucking
Speaker 1: sip of Rose Rose, Yes, Rose, come through. What's gonna
Speaker 1: be Rose? We think, what do we think? I'm really
Speaker 1: attempted by the bull, but I don't think I'm gonna
Speaker 1: do it. Fuck you guys. I want to do my
Speaker 1: pre selected topic. I have some respect for the priest selection.
Speaker 1: This is Rose's. I don't think so, honey. Her time
Speaker 1: starts now. I don't fucking think so, honey. Horoscopes. Look, look,
Speaker 1: I am a really fucking spiritual bitch. Okay, my bed
Speaker 1: is covered with crystals. I almost burnt my apartment down
Speaker 1: with sage when I was trying to clear the energy
Speaker 1: when my Christian roommate moved out. And my favorite movie,
Speaker 1: my favorite movie is Paranormal Activity. To love that movie,
Speaker 1: I do not fucking love when somebody starts a conversation
Speaker 1: with me and they say, um something, to which I respond,
Speaker 1: I was born in Dallas, but I they stopped me.
Speaker 1: What's your fucking sign like right now? Tell me? Okay,
Speaker 1: it's a Gemini? Oh aries, bitch, Let me tell you something.
Speaker 1: There are three things you need to know about me.
Speaker 1: I'm a top to bottom sometimes I make all of
Speaker 1: my income dressing as a woman. And I have a
Speaker 1: rash on my arm that the doctor said was ring warm.
Speaker 1: It turns out the next it's gonna get better soon. Okay,
Speaker 1: but listen, we are not going to be best friends
Speaker 1: because you're a fucking triple virgo. I'm gonna fucking hate
Speaker 1: your motherfucking asked regardless, I don't think so. And finally,
Speaker 1: and now everyone take a dive into laguna. Yes god,
Speaker 1: oh my god, alright, love going to stick that rose
Speaker 1: left on the mic? I love it. What do we
Speaker 1: think are we doing pre slight under the laguna? Boz.
Speaker 1: I don't think so, honey. Her time starts now, I
Speaker 1: don't think so, honey. Don't touch my fucking hair. Listen.
Speaker 1: If you want to take a picture with me, I
Speaker 1: love that. Just don't don't put your neck your fingers
Speaker 1: around my hair. Okay if you If you want to
Speaker 1: see my beard, a surefire way to do it is
Speaker 1: press yours against mine. Okay. Um. And now the next
Speaker 1: one is I love it when a gay man a
Speaker 1: sassy one who gets really excited and I am super nervous.
Speaker 1: I'm excited. And the best one is a it's a
Speaker 1: drunk girl who's like, oh my god, you're so pretty. Wait,
Speaker 1: you're a man. Why is your makeup more beautiful than mine? Wait?
Speaker 1: Can I touch it? Wait? No, bitch, my entire hair
Speaker 1: do is more expensive than your entire closet from Urban Outfitters. Second,
Speaker 1: it's like Christina Aguilera says, but I never touched Okay,
Speaker 1: unless you're Ryan Reynolds, because then, bitch, you can tear
Speaker 1: his hair up. Okay, back, Hi, love me follow me
Speaker 1: on Instagram? All right, everyone, so listen, listen. I know
Speaker 1: that you thought that this first active, I don't make
Speaker 1: some honey was over, But no, we're gonna tell our
Speaker 1: streets on stage John Trowbridge and Asher Perlman to fucking
Speaker 1: scram scrag a street. And now we're gonna be gagged
Speaker 1: by a performance from Stephanie's child t transport Rose and
Speaker 1: look going up blue. Let them get information phone, yeah,
Speaker 1: and then you wanna grab one of the makes over there.
Speaker 1: All right, everyone after the performance going to take a
Speaker 1: quick intermission, but please enjoy this performance from Stepane. I'll
Speaker 1: be back right after this. Here we got drop me
Speaker 1: and go around the hole. They pull up in their
Speaker 1: ubers and they go off with the facts in the
Speaker 1: bars just to find some top. They go of you,
Speaker 1: you might be loaded. You know that me Bro said
Speaker 1: get a bagon now something to the city with their
Speaker 1: thoughts and their hands to qui binder, sisters, I'm just
Speaker 1: like to you, los fellow my holding on to bow
Speaker 1: but sculling down, scrolling down their studies, tweets and theirs
Speaker 1: a long and well tell tom my sword and meets
Speaker 1: up and pulls my hair to be trying somebody for
Speaker 1: need a plating pre queens remind you up. They're looking
Speaker 1: forward we're looking to trade. I'm looking for whoa bo
Speaker 1: the kick for the luster if you're gonna get a
Speaker 1: ready excuse me, sir. It might sound funny, but I
Speaker 1: don't sound dick unless you got a lot of money.
Speaker 1: Kiddy about fancy. I'm trying to get funk into my asshole. Russ,
Speaker 1: you distrust me, disgusting Patsy. You want to get a
Speaker 1: puffy dick and me to say you want to confrevation.
Speaker 1: I want your contraction. Don't listen to my taforation. You
Speaker 1: want be siss, to be something I don't such a
Speaker 1: created he was and I need not go your donna
Speaker 1: say how I'm taking me right now? Cook around the
Speaker 1: ground and all of you we are iline. Now here's
Speaker 1: somebody come to the girl come to me in a day.
Speaker 1: I don't mean about I was saying, it's such a pay.
Speaker 1: Ain't you're gonna get some goods saying you want to conversation.
Speaker 1: I also penetration that takes into any way. Be all
Speaker 1: these shays's bad. That's a bad wild. We are sure
Speaker 1: she is. He's a guy said, lum, what what I
Speaker 1: would wait to by that? He says? Work? What work?
Speaker 1: What work? What? The city to guy say thank Stephanie
Speaker 1: child Yeah and tip your tenders by Forever Dog. This
Speaker 1: has been a Forever Dog production executive produced by Brett Bahum,
Speaker 1: Joe Silio, and Alex Ramsey. For more original podcasts, please
Speaker 1: visit Forever Dog Podcasts dot com and subscribe to our
Speaker 1: shows on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Speaker 1: Keep up with the latest Forever Dog news by following
Speaker 1: us on Twitter and Instagram at Forever Dog Team, and
Speaker 1: liking our page on Facebook.