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Speaker 1: Look man, oh, I see you, my oh, and look

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Speaker 1: over there. How is that culture? Yes? Goodness, let's calls

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Speaker 1: we out further ado. Welcome your host. Matt Rogers says, boy, yeah, hello,

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Speaker 1: ding Dons calling. I'm pitching up tonight. I'm going up here.

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Speaker 1: It's great that you explore that part of your voice.

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Speaker 1: You never are residents and highever Hi, guys, has everyone

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Speaker 1: during tonight? All right? Great? This is so fun. I

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Speaker 1: think this is the most packed audience we've had doing it.

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Speaker 1: Who here listens to the podcast? Cool, let's good, that's fun.

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Speaker 1: Who here doesn't listen to the podcast? Welcome to say,

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Speaker 1: I welcome them, We welcome you. Oh my god, well,

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Speaker 1: welcome to last culture Restas Live. I don't think so, honey.

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Speaker 1: What you're about to see is um wow, just a

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Speaker 1: tapestry of rage yescopia of anger. Oh yeah, overflowing. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and wait, we should I guess we should place these.

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Speaker 1: These These are I'm Joanne hats, a little bit different,

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Speaker 1: a little bit different, a little bit different from our

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Speaker 1: usual culture rests hats. But you have to change with

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Speaker 1: the time. Can we say one thing? These are literal

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Speaker 1: Joanne hats from the lady Gavas store official merch. And

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Speaker 1: this merch is a little chitty. It's a little shitty

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Speaker 1: shitty merch which we should not put up with as

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Speaker 1: as a capitalists like consumer. I'm sorry, but Lady Gaga,

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Speaker 1: I don't think so, honey, Lady Gaga. Merch. Look now

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Speaker 1: we're get to have the merch build like look at

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Speaker 1: the flip flop, look at all silly? How much it

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Speaker 1: was a gift, was a gift for both of the

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Speaker 1: gift and it was a Christmas gift. Christmas gift. So

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Speaker 1: um but wow, Christmas gift. I just said, like Santa

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Speaker 1: falling off the roof, that'd be a good gift for Christmas.

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Speaker 1: So applicable. Too many contacts. Oh my god. Current events.

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Speaker 1: Current events are happening right now. You know that's the

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Speaker 1: beauty of current events is they're concurrent. They always are

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Speaker 1: happening at all times. Actually, okay, to be honest, Matt

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Speaker 1: and I are a little out of the loop this week.

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Speaker 1: There's also just no fun news happening this week. It

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Speaker 1: feels like a very boring news week. It's just a

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Speaker 1: lot of white gaze succeeding. Oh yeah, oh got a

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Speaker 1: little ramp, Hey that's only okay when I say it, Um,

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Speaker 1: but guys, give it up for your Anthony's of the world.

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Speaker 1: You're Adam Reponds of the world. You're about Hello World.

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Speaker 1: Who is Team Trixie? Who is Team Changelo? Dang? I mean,

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Speaker 1: I don't know. I'm gonna say. I think it's so

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Speaker 1: cool that in the year eighteen, one out of four

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Speaker 1: final four queens is white and is still able to

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Speaker 1: beat the pocs out. You are a political bit, I'm political,

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Speaker 1: just you eight, I have a I have a read

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Speaker 1: on government. I'm gonna do it. You're gonna do tonight

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Speaker 1: and I'm gonna do tonight. We should explain to them

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Speaker 1: what it is. Okay, So when I don't think so honey,

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Speaker 1: we we're about to see fifty comedians, Um do you?

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Speaker 1: And I don't think so honey? Which is a one

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Speaker 1: minute rant on anything that's just grinding these people's gears,

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Speaker 1: pushing these people's buttons, really getting them in rage, and

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Speaker 1: they're so mad at culture and they're gonna take one

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Speaker 1: minute to rail against And I mean, can we also

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Speaker 1: say this is especially a gag today because this actually

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Speaker 1: is the two year anniversary of the last culture Racist

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Speaker 1: podcast two years old, two years old, the Terrible twos.

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Speaker 1: Now we're gonna start getting like really shitty behavior wise

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Speaker 1: and like start sucking on everything, which I believe happens.

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Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't have children. Um yeah, I'm

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna I'm gonna teeth and just I'm gonna scream

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Speaker 1: in the middle of the night boys, um um. And also, wait,

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Speaker 1: it's the one year anniversary of I don't think so

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Speaker 1: Honey Live Show. Isn't that fucked up? And that it

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Speaker 1: was the two It's it's like two anniversary separate. It's like,

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Speaker 1: I'm when a mom and a daughter have the same birthday?

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Speaker 1: Did you know that my mom and my aunt have

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Speaker 1: the same birthday three years apart? That's so crazy? And

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Speaker 1: also get this, also get this, though their brother I

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Speaker 1: have the same birthday as him, It's weird day. Is

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Speaker 1: that an astrological thing? No, who believes in astrology? Who

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Speaker 1: doesn't think that on the positions of stars a thousands

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Speaker 1: of light years away has any bearing on our personal behavior?

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Speaker 1: Thank you? You guys should read Carl Sagan. Absolutely, I

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Speaker 1: don't know. Can I tell you there was a moment

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Speaker 1: where someone got me with it? Though they were like, well,

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Speaker 1: our body is mostly water. You don't think that the

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Speaker 1: tides should change the way you are. And I was like, okay,

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Speaker 1: hold on, I'm willing to change my whole world view

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Speaker 1: because of what you said. Oh my god, that's what

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Speaker 1: makes me a dangerous person, a pseudoscience lover. Um. Well, wow,

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Speaker 1: before we get going on, I don't think so, Honey's

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Speaker 1: we do have to bring out a very special guest. No, normally, um,

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Speaker 1: normally a Nette Benning is in town to talk to us.

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Speaker 1: She's in l A. She's not, she's in l a career.

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Speaker 1: So she did send us a message and she thought

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Speaker 1: we were going to do really well tonight. Yes, so

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Speaker 1: very nice. Um, but instead we have an amazing guest. Um.

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Speaker 1: You know, this year has been, um, you know, the

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Speaker 1: year of women, and it's Women's it's Women's um Awareness month.

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Speaker 1: Who marches Women's Month? And International Women's Day was last

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Speaker 1: week beautiful and we should all be aware of women.

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Speaker 1: Think is that realize that Women's Awards, the Women's awareness

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Speaker 1: But and we have to honor this rich tradition of

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Speaker 1: women who who just really just you know, start the

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Speaker 1: conversations that need to be had. And so tonight, we

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Speaker 1: have an amazing guest. We have the world's only female

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Speaker 1: men's rights activists. Yeah. Now we've been told to address

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Speaker 1: this person by one name only and one name only. Yes, everyone,

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Speaker 1: please welcome Annie, Annie, the only the only female. You

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Speaker 1: go get yeah, because you know you can. Are you

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Speaker 1: good to see so many men here? Yeah? Amen, guy's

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Speaker 1: you know, arriving wights looking strong, looking good? All right, Okay, Annie,

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Speaker 1: how how is it going? How's your march going? It's

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Speaker 1: women's It's women's month. It's women's month, which is exactly

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Speaker 1: why my um my issues are so important. Yeah. I

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Speaker 1: just started teaching classes, actually, and I would love to

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Speaker 1: plug ahead. Yeah, so I'm teaching uh men to hashtag

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Speaker 1: men to classes a little pun. It's a little pun,

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Speaker 1: uh And basically it's, uh, this really cool workshop where

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Speaker 1: alt are minded people can come together in one room

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Speaker 1: and it's a safe space for men to get together

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Speaker 1: and just play. You know, we're just playing. You know.

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Speaker 1: Tucker Carlson says that men are under attack. This is

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Speaker 1: something that you agree with? Yeah, who said it? Yes? Yeah, yes,

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Speaker 1: under attack. You know you've got your Harvey wine season,

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Speaker 1: your woody allens. These guys are geniuses crazy? Would you

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Speaker 1: even know what movies are without these two men? And

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Speaker 1: we we just we we cough them up and we

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Speaker 1: lock them away, no questions either, face any league repercussion.

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Speaker 1: You wait, you wait till March is over, Women's Awareness

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Speaker 1: Month is over, and then ship will start happening. Can

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Speaker 1: I just because podcasts are a visual medium and we

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Speaker 1: we can't see this at home. Your mouth is absolutely

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Speaker 1: destroyed with lips. You kind it all over your teeth

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Speaker 1: and really everywhere but your lips. Listen. I woke up

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Speaker 1: in a dizzy. I'm freaking ticked at the world. Tis

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Speaker 1: I've ticked off. That's actually real of culture number eighty nine,

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Speaker 1: bring back ticks. It's not piste off, it's ticked off.

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Speaker 1: I just want to say that women, Okay, we hear you,

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Speaker 1: and what like what work gets your goat about these women? Like?

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Speaker 1: What is the what is what's like the worst thing

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Speaker 1: about them? Well, it's just like you know, they're pointing

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Speaker 1: the fingers so hard. But it's like, think of all

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Speaker 1: the bad women out there. You've got that snapper turtle,

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Speaker 1: Miss all Obama. There's one the snapper turnal. You got

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Speaker 1: Megan Trainer out there telling all the women to be unhealthy.

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Speaker 1: She's a problem, Megan Trainer, Megan Trainers, it's a problem too.

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Speaker 1: I think you might be misinformed about Rupol. Rue is

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Speaker 1: not trans Rupol's a drag queen. Well, well, I understand

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Speaker 1: what I see on TV, and he's as a shape shifter.

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Speaker 1: He would agree with you there, Yeah, well yeah it is.

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Speaker 1: Women are are being very problematic, is ladies. Let me

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Speaker 1: address the ladies. Excuse me, ma'am. Oh god, I don't

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Speaker 1: mean to upset you, but but the thing that the

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Speaker 1: things that men think about horror a lot worse than

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Speaker 1: the things they do. Go Well, for instance, what's the

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Speaker 1: worst thing you ever thought about a woman? It's a trick,

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Speaker 1: I'm getting you know. We ever see a woman, you're like, Oh,

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Speaker 1: she's so beautiful. I on a killer so no one

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Speaker 1: else can have. Yeah, we all are we doing it?

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Speaker 1: So this guy, he's on my side. I got power

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Speaker 1: to you. Brother. Men, men's thoughts are worse than their actions,

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Speaker 1: and that should be a comfort. Yea, that should be

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Speaker 1: a comfort. Oh my god. Okay, So Aunt Annie Annie,

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Speaker 1: you just did like a little faux you know, Joe

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Speaker 1: curtsy or like a little like like a little shell

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Speaker 1: read dead. Right now, chivalry is so dead that it's

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Speaker 1: going back into the cycle of like super hard chivalry.

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Speaker 1: Like first, what's the feminine nasis? Don't want you to

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Speaker 1: open the elevator door for them? Okay, they don't scream

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Speaker 1: at you if they said, got as nasty? Nasty women

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Speaker 1: not very nice, very nice? Does that really? Do you

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Speaker 1: think that maybe it's just women should be a little

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Speaker 1: bit nicer ability policy? I think it's just again, when

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Speaker 1: you're so blind and screaming your throat out, you can't

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Speaker 1: see what you're doing to men, and men have it

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Speaker 1: bad too. I hope you how so that well they

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Speaker 1: just do. I mean, it's it's just so hard to

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Speaker 1: take all that abuse. Okay, you know what I mean?

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Speaker 1: And and and that's what my classes are all about.

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Speaker 1: I wish more, I wish more women women took my

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Speaker 1: classes and they could truly see how they're behaving. Lot,

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Speaker 1: are there a lot of gay men and rolling in

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Speaker 1: the class? Well? I have one. Can you take the class?

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Speaker 1: Where are you teaching this class? Yeah? We have w

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Speaker 1: every Sunday. We we started around eleven am. We tossed

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Speaker 1: back some bruise, we tossed bean bags, We toss anything

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Speaker 1: you throw out there, and we just we we rehash

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Speaker 1: these scenarios, improvised scenarios on how on ways that we

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Speaker 1: can improve communication between men and women. Can I see

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Speaker 1: a question? Are you in a relationship? Yes? I am okay, okay?

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Speaker 1: What are they like? What is your partner like? They them?

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Speaker 1: How about he? I forgot about it? Remember remember remember

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Speaker 1: when he and she was okay? I cannot all right,

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Speaker 1: said Annie, I think we've all we're already learning. It's

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Speaker 1: like it feels like you're already spreading your teachings. Oh

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Speaker 1: my god, And that's beautiful. That's beautiful. And Annie, would

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Speaker 1: you please join us in singing? But I don't think so, honey.

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Speaker 1: National anthem. We're not a nation, but we do have

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Speaker 1: a national anthem, just to kick things off. Annie, Um,

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Speaker 1: I think, thank you so much. We sent you the lyrics,

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Speaker 1: so I think we can all just pull them up

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Speaker 1: and then sing together. If my phone you can just

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Speaker 1: read off when you feel there are things in this

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Speaker 1: world that you hate. When you feel there are things

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Speaker 1: you don't like, when you think, you speak out and

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Speaker 1: your nie to shout and you say whatever you lie,

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Speaker 1: I don't think so, honey, Base so shot, so bitch,

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Speaker 1: I don't think so. I don't think so, child, I

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Speaker 1: don't think so big Wow. Sign ups in the back

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Speaker 1: corner on there, you'd like to thank my class. She

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Speaker 1: keep America great again, Keep America great again. Hagga, keep

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Speaker 1: American grad again. Everybody. That was Andy Donneley, last Culture

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Speaker 1: Recess Icon Award winner Annie Donneley. She joins Pat Reagan

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Speaker 1: as a lost Coulture resays I kind of war winner,

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Speaker 1: and Pat Regan was so upset about that he refused

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Speaker 1: to show up tonight. That's true, all right, I think

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Speaker 1: we can we can kick things off with some I

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Speaker 1: don't think so, honey. I think we're ready. You guys ready, Okay,

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Speaker 1: So I think what's first gonna happen is Bowen. It's

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Speaker 1: Bowen's turn to demo or prepared, I don't think, Sonny.

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Speaker 1: And then I'm gonna go up and show everyone in

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Speaker 1: the troll bull and so basically, you guys, everyone has

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Speaker 1: an option. Tonight we have fifty comedians stage and they

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Speaker 1: have either prepared and I don't think so many topic

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Speaker 1: or they can reach into the animals. Is that am

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Speaker 1: I using that word? Right? Yeah? Well, I don't know

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Speaker 1: my words, But I do know my heart and that's

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Speaker 1: the most important thing. Thank you, babe, I love you. Um,

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Speaker 1: so you know what happened. Um, we lost the bowl

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Speaker 1: that we call So we have a glass blown we

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Speaker 1: were for hours. We made um and it's filled with

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Speaker 1: troll bull topics. Now, these topics are designed to fuck

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Speaker 1: people up. They should be hard to go negative on. Yes, yes.

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Speaker 1: Past examples have included Sasha Milio, Obama, Julie Andrew d

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Speaker 1: Um Yes, uh, the Women of Broadway. Yeah, things of

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Speaker 1: that sort. So we've got a lot of really good

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Speaker 1: ones in here, and I'm gonna demo that in just

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Speaker 1: a second. But it's time for bow and Yang to

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Speaker 1: take the mic and prepared. I don't think so many

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Speaker 1: about let's go give it up your hosts. This one's,

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Speaker 1: this one's we'll see all right, Okay, here we go.

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Speaker 1: So this is Bowen Yang's. I don't think so, honey,

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Speaker 1: and his time starts now, I don't think so, honey.

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Speaker 1: America's crumbling infrastructure, Oh no no, no, We're not gonna

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Speaker 1: have pedestrian bridges collapse and kill people. No, no, no,

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Speaker 1: I want at least five hundred billion dollars in spending

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Speaker 1: for our train tracks, for our highways, for our airplanes. Honey,

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Speaker 1: I don't ever want to wait two more hours on

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Speaker 1: the tarmac because fucking Mitch McConnell didn't want to do something.

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Speaker 1: Oh bitch, I better never be on a derailed AM

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Speaker 1: track or else. I wall's stream before I save everybody's ass,

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Speaker 1: America's infrastructure. You're busted. You. I need you to go

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Speaker 1: call your congress person and demands more spending on it.

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Speaker 1: For a structure five seconds, do better. That's do better,

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Speaker 1: do better. That was bowling eyes. I don't think so, honey. Everybody, okay,

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Speaker 1: I am nervous. Oh no, no, no, give it up

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Speaker 1: for Matt Rogers my co house. Do you like the

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Speaker 1: ensemble Mariah carry, thank you? Okay, Matt, I think we

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Speaker 1: have something for you. Okay, here we go. Oh wow

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Speaker 1: um new co anchor of The Today Show Hoda Codda

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Speaker 1: and her time starts now. I don't think so, honey.

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Speaker 1: Holda copy. If they wanted you, you would have gotten

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Speaker 1: the job. Listen, Men's right activists. It doesn't stop at

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Speaker 1: any Dolly, Honey, bring back Matt loud No, I'm just kidding.

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Speaker 1: Hold on, listen. I love you, but you were next

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Speaker 1: to Savannah, you got to up your game. It's rule

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Speaker 1: up coaching number thirteen. When you are next to Savannah,

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Speaker 1: you gotta up your game. Savannah got three serving you hair,

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Speaker 1: serving you direct camera address game. You are too colloquial.

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Speaker 1: You are trying to be too much our friend. I

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Speaker 1: want journalism, honey, Hoda copy. Let someone else drink with

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Speaker 1: Kathelee if you're gonna move to the nine am hour.

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Speaker 1: I feel like we need to be spreading the wealth,

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Speaker 1: not giving all the wealth to Hodah. That is feminism,

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Speaker 1: more money for all women. Right, five seconds and there's

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Speaker 1: one more thing, Hoda copy, go on the view because

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Speaker 1: we need to get Megan the Cane out. I'm just waits.

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Speaker 1: I actually like Megan the Cane now, no no no

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Speaker 1: no no no no, no, no no no. I was

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Speaker 1: famously pro Jenna Diabela and a time Megan McCain. But

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Speaker 1: I feel like I've fallen down many Megan McCain wormholes,

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Speaker 1: and I like her as a person, even though I

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Speaker 1: think she's disguided, and that's on us hard to shut

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Speaker 1: the funk up. Do you guys remember when Megan McCall

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Speaker 1: wrote for The Daily Beast and was a fucking and

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Speaker 1: sufferable piece of ship like she's always been. Yeah, I do,

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Speaker 1: and she sucks on the view. Thanks all right, everyone,

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Speaker 1: please welcome Megan McCall. Megan No, oh my god, that

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Speaker 1: would be the dag. I would, I would, I would,

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Speaker 1: I would like pay my respects to Megan McCain. I

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Speaker 1: really want her on the show. Guys, are you ready

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Speaker 1: for our first group of the night. Oh my god.

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Speaker 1: We're bringing people out in groups to five as always,

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Speaker 1: and this first group is a doozy. Please give it

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Speaker 1: up dousy. Oh wait, we just say we've named every group. Yes, now,

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Speaker 1: this first group is called Amazing Thunder. Please welcome Luken Zala,

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Speaker 1: Chelsea Davison, You, Dora Peterson, Joanna Raka, and Magan O'Neill. Yes,

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Speaker 1: Amazing sun Nerve brought to the stage tonight. Yes, curtsy,

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Speaker 1: I'm through in the's midwinter late winter fashion. Hey, staying warm,

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Speaker 1: staying stylish? All right. First out to the mic is

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Speaker 1: Luganza Wed. Yes, remove put on the culture. Everyone has

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Speaker 1: the option of wearing the culture hat or not if

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Speaker 1: hats aren't your thing. Respect, But how does this stay

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Speaker 1: look at that? He knew exactly how to put it all.

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Speaker 1: Who is it gonna be pre selected or trouball? Oh

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Speaker 1: he has got something tell him in the mic. Here

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Speaker 1: we go, listen. I don't think so, honey, and his

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Speaker 1: time starts now. I don't think so honey. Diversity bitch,

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Speaker 1: excuse me? Okay, who is diversity for not me? Okay?

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Speaker 1: What am I being included in? And who's doing the

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Speaker 1: including white people? Okay, bitch, I am not interested in

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Speaker 1: the seat at the table. I want the table. I

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Speaker 1: want the dining room, I want the house. I don't

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Speaker 1: think so, honey. Okay. I am sick and tired these

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Speaker 1: white people liking diverse shows like they know that these

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Speaker 1: are real minorities talking. They don't talk like that those

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Speaker 1: a white writer. I want people of color show runners.

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Speaker 1: I want executives. I want I want, I want it all. Okay,

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Speaker 1: do you know what I want? I want you to

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Speaker 1: back up. I want you. I want white people to

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Speaker 1: disappear for fifteen and twenty years seconds off catch up.

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Speaker 1: Trixie Mattel is white supremacy tricks But no, no, no, no,

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Speaker 1: you say in two seconds what it is? Tricksie Mattel

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Speaker 1: is white supremacy is a great blackout I'm done with her.

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Speaker 1: We should say Trixie Mattel is of Native American descent.

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Speaker 1: That is technically true. But but but sure, but yeah, yeah, alright,

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Speaker 1: please welcome to my Chelsea Davison. It's Chelsea, Chelsea. Chelsea

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Speaker 1: pitched a few topics. Do you are you gonna go?

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Speaker 1: Pre selectorna prelected? It's going to be I had a

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Speaker 1: lot of options of things I hate, Okay, Chelsea Davison's

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Speaker 1: I don't think so, honey. Her time starts now. I

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Speaker 1: don't think so, honey. Girls who claim to be witches,

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Speaker 1: I'm looking at you, every single fucking woman in l A. What. No,

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Speaker 1: you're not a witch. You just want to be quirky

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Speaker 1: and you're too cheap, cheap to buy a ukulele. Okay, sorry,

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Speaker 1: get some overalls, bitch. I don't think so, honey. You're

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Speaker 1: a little fucking covin. Okay, it's you and your girlfriend's

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Speaker 1: hanging out drinking wine. You're not, which is your basic bitches, Okay,

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Speaker 1: what do you even do? You light some candles, you

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Speaker 1: burn some sade, or you casting a spell that makes

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Speaker 1: you smell like a bath and body work. I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I don't think so honey, your crystals, okay, you're shitty

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Speaker 1: fucking crystals. Look, if they're not magic, they're just fucking rocks. Okay,

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Speaker 1: if you really want to buy crystal, at least meth

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Speaker 1: gets you high. I don't think so, honey. You guys

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Speaker 1: aren't witches. If you really want to be quirky and original,

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Speaker 1: get some fucking bangs. Okay, quirky girls. Everyone, please welcome

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Speaker 1: your door, Peterson. Yes, yes, yes, yes, run away ready,

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Speaker 1: New York Fashion Week, come on, thank you, thank you

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Speaker 1: so much. Dora. Is it going to be pre selected

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Speaker 1: or trouball pre selected? Please? Okay, this is you, Dora

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Speaker 1: Peterson's I don't think so, honey. Her time starts now. Okay,

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Speaker 1: I don't think so, honey. The Zodiac killer, what murder

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Speaker 1: is a legal? Honey? You can't kill people? If people

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Speaker 1: I would like to kill, but I don't do it, honey,

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Speaker 1: Are you kidding? You broke the law? Honey, you are

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Speaker 1: a dirty little outlaw. Honey. And what so many? What

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Speaker 1: the heck was with those cryptic let us? He said

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Speaker 1: to the thirdays, what the funk was that? The symbols?

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Speaker 1: It's a bad letter. Let us need an alphabet. They

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Speaker 1: start with dear so and so that they end with

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Speaker 1: warm regards and you signed your name. Oh my god,

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Speaker 1: and because of mother, because there's too much true crime media.

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Speaker 1: I thank god every god damn day that podcast exists.

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Speaker 1: When you're running around trying to kill people, if you're

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Speaker 1: out there, you're so alive, don't stay with me, and

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Speaker 1: I'm scared of you. Okay, thank you Peterson. Everyone, it's

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Speaker 1: time for Johanna Rothkop. Give it up on the jacket,

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Speaker 1: Come on, cheese, absolutely, Joanna. Is it gonna be pre selected?

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Speaker 1: You're holding a phone. I think it's gonna be pre selected,

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Speaker 1: pre selected. It's all right, Joanna Rothcops. I don't think so, honey.

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Speaker 1: Her time starts now. I don't think so, honey. People

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Speaker 1: who like books like, First of all, that's a very

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Speaker 1: cool brag that you know how to read. I think

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Speaker 1: most of us up here also know how to read.

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Speaker 1: But also it's just it's so fucking vague. It's like

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Speaker 1: saying I like food, I like nature, I like television,

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Speaker 1: which people also saying I don't think so honey to

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Speaker 1: them either. Also, think of books that there are. There's

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Speaker 1: the Bible, there's a dictionary, there's mine, comp you know

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Speaker 1: you see like a girl in Instagram, like sitting at

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Speaker 1: a coffee shop like hashtag perfect Saturday, my latte and

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Speaker 1: mind comp and also think and think who writes books?

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Speaker 1: Bill O'Reilly Hitler, as I said, Real Housewife of New

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Speaker 1: Jersey and former Current fell and Teresa Judais. One but books, sorry,

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Speaker 1: including four cookbooks. It's I'd be more specific, bitch, Walter

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Speaker 1: Joe her books here on last cultures us burn them all.

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Speaker 1: I've only read eight books in my entire elf. That's

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Speaker 1: that not a that is well documented. Please welcome megant

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Speaker 1: on me. Come on, so yes, it's a cap come on,

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Speaker 1: sweater super villain, sweater cape, supervillainvilla and I don't know,

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Speaker 1: keep clapping. I could really never get enough the shoes

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Speaker 1: to gonna be pre selected or trouball. It's going to

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Speaker 1: be pre selected because I have no natural enemies. I

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Speaker 1: had to invent one. Oh, I don't think so, honey.

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Speaker 1: Her time starts now, I don't think so, honey. Black

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Speaker 1: Mirror on Netflix. Listen, folks, if you're anything like me,

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Speaker 1: you watched the first episode and thought, finally a show

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Speaker 1: for me, a show about pig fucking. But then do

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Speaker 1: you think they brought the pig fucking bath. I don't

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Speaker 1: think so, honey. And I watched a second episode and talk, great,

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Speaker 1: some kind of fucked up talent show talent could be

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Speaker 1: fucking a pig, but I don't think so, honey. Start episode.

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Speaker 1: There's a fucking contact with all your memories in it.

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Speaker 1: And I thought, great, a memory of a guy fucking

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Speaker 1: himself a pig back? What should they do it? Don't

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Speaker 1: like so, honey. John Draper was on an episode. I thought, great,

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna watch John Draper fuck up pig. What do

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Speaker 1: you think that? And when I say I, you say,

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Speaker 1: don't think so, honey, honey, bring back the pig fucking

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Speaker 1: the morning. Give you this girl amazing fucking her Peterseral

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Speaker 1: Megan on me, Oh my god, tasting. We don't have

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Speaker 1: to a rocking start bowing artside. I would say so

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00:30:02,640 --> 00:30:07,040
Speaker 1: as well. Energy is sick with everyone wanting to fund pigs. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: never give it up. For our next group. This group

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Speaker 1: is called Headlines. Headlines Welcome to the stage, Aaron Market, welcome, Basic,

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Speaker 1: all of our heavy, blunt, don't say slow Headlines Lights,

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, this is this is an all star group.

413
00:30:30,480 --> 00:30:34,640
Speaker 1: This is very fum. Okay, first to the mic. Is

414
00:30:34,680 --> 00:30:41,640
Speaker 1: gonna be ms? Aaron Marky, Yes, got the book, shut

415
00:30:41,640 --> 00:30:44,800
Speaker 1: the book, got the book eron, all right, So here's

416
00:30:44,840 --> 00:30:52,400
Speaker 1: the book. Respect, respect, tom cat um Aaron. Is it

417
00:30:52,400 --> 00:30:54,440
Speaker 1: going to be pre selected or trouble? You've got a notebook?

418
00:30:54,440 --> 00:31:07,800
Speaker 1: I see, I'm on the My god, don't although it

419
00:31:07,840 --> 00:31:09,400
Speaker 1: was in her, it was in her mind. Ye, this

420
00:31:09,520 --> 00:31:13,520
Speaker 1: is trust your journal, Trust, trust your journal, Aaron Marky's.

421
00:31:13,520 --> 00:31:16,640
Speaker 1: I don't think so, honey. Her time starts now. Okay,

422
00:31:16,960 --> 00:31:21,160
Speaker 1: I don't think so, honey. Celebrities who denied the lesbian

423
00:31:21,240 --> 00:31:28,760
Speaker 1: rumors circulating about. Yes, I am talking to you, Kendall Jenner.

424
00:31:30,120 --> 00:31:35,120
Speaker 1: You come from a long lineage of deniers, Whitney Houston,

425
00:31:35,720 --> 00:31:42,000
Speaker 1: Dolly Parton, Janelle Monet. Why would you want to act,

426
00:31:42,240 --> 00:31:45,760
Speaker 1: honey like that isn't the most special thing you could

427
00:31:45,760 --> 00:31:49,680
Speaker 1: be a part of, or Sweetie, is drying it a

428
00:31:49,800 --> 00:31:54,360
Speaker 1: part of the ritual? I don't think so, honey, Kendall Jenner.

429
00:31:54,480 --> 00:31:57,200
Speaker 1: If you think you are not the Leah Delaria of

430
00:31:57,320 --> 00:32:03,480
Speaker 1: the Kardashian family, guy, then you're fucking dead wrong. And

431
00:32:03,520 --> 00:32:06,640
Speaker 1: if you're ashamed of that, then I cannot respect you

432
00:32:06,760 --> 00:32:13,080
Speaker 1: as a Victoria's secret angel seconds. I don't think so, honey.

433
00:32:13,320 --> 00:32:16,320
Speaker 1: Game men who act like they have never seen or

434
00:32:16,440 --> 00:32:20,000
Speaker 1: know what a vagina is. That was your fucking first memory,

435
00:32:20,080 --> 00:32:29,640
Speaker 1: you motherfuckerium pray, thank you, unbelievable. You know that's actually

436
00:32:29,400 --> 00:32:32,720
Speaker 1: really culture number sixty seven cancel. General is the lea

437
00:32:33,720 --> 00:32:41,040
Speaker 1: of the Kardashians market. Now, please welcome Matt Wilkins. Yes

438
00:32:42,640 --> 00:32:49,200
Speaker 1: he's swapping hat, come on rocket, yes, fashion, Okay, So

439
00:32:49,360 --> 00:32:51,680
Speaker 1: do we think yes? Do we think this is a

440
00:32:51,680 --> 00:32:55,760
Speaker 1: pre selected topic? Are we doing the trollball? I think plection?

441
00:32:56,640 --> 00:32:58,480
Speaker 1: This is Matt Wilkes is. I don't think so, honey.

442
00:32:58,560 --> 00:33:02,920
Speaker 1: His time starts now. I don't think so, honey. Paper

443
00:33:03,080 --> 00:33:10,880
Speaker 1: straws as a substitute or plastic straw honey. I go

444
00:33:11,160 --> 00:33:15,520
Speaker 1: to a coffee shop every morning for my fucking cold

445
00:33:15,520 --> 00:33:20,560
Speaker 1: brew coffee, and they switched out the plastic straws with

446
00:33:20,680 --> 00:33:27,520
Speaker 1: paper straws, and coffee drinking has become a living health

447
00:33:27,600 --> 00:33:36,080
Speaker 1: scape nightmare. Sucking on a paper straw it's like sucking

448
00:33:36,280 --> 00:33:44,040
Speaker 1: on a wet diaper. It tastes like a standardized tests.

449
00:33:48,920 --> 00:33:55,560
Speaker 1: I would rather have my thrount swabbed for gonnarea. I

450
00:33:55,720 --> 00:34:06,440
Speaker 1: can't repeatedly then suck anything, got a paper strong, thank you? Welcome.

451
00:34:06,640 --> 00:34:09,000
Speaker 1: You know what it does. It feels so funk up

452
00:34:09,080 --> 00:34:11,960
Speaker 1: on your bad It feels sound up on your mouth.

453
00:34:12,440 --> 00:34:17,240
Speaker 1: It's bleach baby, Oh my god. Next up, please welcome

454
00:34:17,440 --> 00:34:23,400
Speaker 1: Isaac Oliverac. He's been booked on the show three times.

455
00:34:23,480 --> 00:34:28,080
Speaker 1: He finally made it. Isaac Oliver et, Wow, what is

456
00:34:28,120 --> 00:34:32,640
Speaker 1: it gonna be? Trollball or pre selected? Pre selected? Scared

457
00:34:32,680 --> 00:34:37,040
Speaker 1: to the tall tonight, honey, I's we're edging, We're dging

458
00:34:37,080 --> 00:34:39,560
Speaker 1: for the troll ball. I'm scared of a minute. Uh,

459
00:34:39,560 --> 00:34:41,560
Speaker 1: this is Isaac Oliver's. I don't think so, honey. As

460
00:34:41,560 --> 00:34:45,000
Speaker 1: time starts now, I don't think so, honey. Wedding reception

461
00:34:45,080 --> 00:34:56,000
Speaker 1: playlists without any slow songs. You fucking monsters. We flew here,

462
00:35:04,239 --> 00:35:08,080
Speaker 1: we gave you gifts. You're the only people who get

463
00:35:08,120 --> 00:35:13,640
Speaker 1: to stand close and sway. It's a fucking wedding, not

464
00:35:13,760 --> 00:35:18,719
Speaker 1: a spin class. We're exhausted, my god. Don't you think

465
00:35:18,800 --> 00:35:20,839
Speaker 1: we'd like to get a little close to each other

466
00:35:21,200 --> 00:35:23,240
Speaker 1: once in a while. I don't want to be close

467
00:35:23,320 --> 00:35:28,799
Speaker 1: to anyone. I need weddings for this seconds. I can't

468
00:35:28,840 --> 00:35:31,880
Speaker 1: patrol the room with prosecco and go melancholy at like

469
00:35:31,920 --> 00:35:39,719
Speaker 1: eleven thirty to uptown Funk five seconds, play a slow song.

470
00:35:40,280 --> 00:35:46,280
Speaker 1: That's what it is. Minute Isaac Oh, I get scared

471
00:35:46,320 --> 00:35:48,560
Speaker 1: of the slow song because there's an expectation that you

472
00:35:48,600 --> 00:35:50,359
Speaker 1: need to get up there and get close. But then

473
00:35:50,440 --> 00:35:52,640
Speaker 1: until until he got to the melancholy a part of

474
00:35:52,640 --> 00:35:59,360
Speaker 1: just like walking around with a glass of something amazing. Guys,

475
00:35:59,480 --> 00:36:03,120
Speaker 1: welcome to the stage. Any block to the mic, I

476
00:36:03,200 --> 00:36:05,960
Speaker 1: mean to the mic. She doesn't know this, but one

477
00:36:05,960 --> 00:36:16,640
Speaker 1: time I waited on her at Brooklyn Crab Wait. Iconic Flats, Iconic,

478
00:36:17,800 --> 00:36:20,040
Speaker 1: thank you, thank you. I'm not proud of this outfit.

479
00:36:22,080 --> 00:36:23,840
Speaker 1: We feel like it's great and is going to be

480
00:36:23,840 --> 00:36:26,719
Speaker 1: pre selected or trolls got to rage in my sister.

481
00:36:29,320 --> 00:36:32,880
Speaker 1: Time starts now. I don't think so, honey. Comic book movies,

482
00:36:33,120 --> 00:36:37,560
Speaker 1: I am not watching any more three hour movies about

483
00:36:37,640 --> 00:36:42,440
Speaker 1: happy meal toys fighting on a rock. I think we

484
00:36:42,480 --> 00:36:45,040
Speaker 1: need reparations for women who have had to sit through

485
00:36:45,040 --> 00:36:48,759
Speaker 1: those movies against their well. I want some movies that

486
00:36:48,800 --> 00:36:52,120
Speaker 1: are just as stupid as those, but about our stupid interests.

487
00:36:52,200 --> 00:36:54,080
Speaker 1: I want a movie that's just two and a half

488
00:36:54,120 --> 00:37:00,560
Speaker 1: hours of Rachel McAdams trying on blouses is I guess

489
00:37:00,600 --> 00:37:02,319
Speaker 1: because there are a lot of plasses out there, she

490
00:37:02,400 --> 00:37:05,640
Speaker 1: looks good at all of them. Just be her pulling

491
00:37:05,680 --> 00:37:07,799
Speaker 1: back the dressing room curtain doing what do you think?

492
00:37:08,040 --> 00:37:11,080
Speaker 1: The movie is called what do you Think? And if

493
00:37:11,080 --> 00:37:13,239
Speaker 1: that doesn't do it for you, how about this three

494
00:37:13,280 --> 00:37:18,239
Speaker 1: hours of Kathy Baits chopping wood because it's a ride

495
00:37:18,280 --> 00:37:20,480
Speaker 1: with wonder woman, the like, here's a strong woman. No,

496
00:37:20,840 --> 00:37:26,680
Speaker 1: we need Kathy Baits preparing for winter. For second? About

497
00:37:26,719 --> 00:37:29,560
Speaker 1: back behind the cabin just swinging an axe and a nightgown.

498
00:37:29,600 --> 00:37:37,840
Speaker 1: And the movie is called Yeah, that's any blond everybody,

499
00:37:37,160 --> 00:37:39,439
Speaker 1: I'm believe I would go see what do you think?

500
00:37:39,640 --> 00:37:43,280
Speaker 1: What do you think? I'm gonna go see that's gorgeous everyone.

501
00:37:43,800 --> 00:37:50,640
Speaker 1: Here we go, Here we go. Duels say, slow, oh

502
00:37:50,719 --> 00:37:55,919
Speaker 1: my god, this lot. Get a load of it. Okay, yes,

503
00:37:56,840 --> 00:38:00,439
Speaker 1: take it in, take it in. Don't say I get

504
00:38:00,480 --> 00:38:03,360
Speaker 1: in listen. Are we doing a pre selected topic or

505
00:38:03,440 --> 00:38:06,440
Speaker 1: are we going into the reaches of the troll ball

506
00:38:14,800 --> 00:38:19,680
Speaker 1: Sloan story. Let's see what happens. Okay, here we go.

507
00:38:20,719 --> 00:38:24,360
Speaker 1: Your I don't think so, honey. Topic is having a baby.

508
00:38:24,480 --> 00:38:29,720
Speaker 1: You're time starting to us. I don't think so, honey,

509
00:38:29,840 --> 00:38:35,080
Speaker 1: me not having a kid right now, Okay, I'm thirty

510
00:38:35,120 --> 00:38:39,680
Speaker 1: four years old. Do not tell my fucking manager. I

511
00:38:39,680 --> 00:38:42,400
Speaker 1: am fucking riddy. I have been leaguing since the age

512
00:38:42,400 --> 00:38:48,080
Speaker 1: of the Left. And where is this fucking baby? Every

513
00:38:48,080 --> 00:38:50,560
Speaker 1: fucking Monday I have to sleep very carefully not to

514
00:38:50,640 --> 00:38:54,920
Speaker 1: destroy my pillowtop mattress. Where the fund is this baby?

515
00:38:54,080 --> 00:38:59,480
Speaker 1: As I have looked like a mother of three since

516
00:38:59,520 --> 00:39:09,880
Speaker 1: the agents and take the show Ferry that body, body

517
00:39:09,920 --> 00:39:13,680
Speaker 1: body said, the Clinton's line office, where is this Bobby

518
00:39:15,320 --> 00:39:20,680
Speaker 1: seconds I walked around the city. The mark with jee

519
00:39:20,680 --> 00:39:22,840
Speaker 1: pitties has to come in jeez, because Jesus loved me

520
00:39:24,760 --> 00:39:27,000
Speaker 1: five seconds. Where is the Jewish man to get me

521
00:39:27,080 --> 00:39:31,640
Speaker 1: knocked up with beautiful kids? Where is it? And that

522
00:39:35,520 --> 00:39:40,320
Speaker 1: someone cut off this baby giving up for headlines headline

523
00:39:40,480 --> 00:39:45,160
Speaker 1: Aaron Market and well guys like Oliver Plotting, It'll say,

524
00:39:45,239 --> 00:39:51,200
Speaker 1: slow you all, I mean that was severe severe up

525
00:39:51,200 --> 00:39:58,400
Speaker 1: in here. Okay everyone, this group is called okay, cut everyone,

526
00:39:58,480 --> 00:40:04,440
Speaker 1: please welcome, say a Sherman, Ruby carp give it up

527
00:40:04,440 --> 00:40:10,320
Speaker 1: for les a trigger all Bro and Carolina Theresa come

528
00:40:10,360 --> 00:40:16,880
Speaker 1: on you Oh wow wow water group okank you bank

529
00:40:16,960 --> 00:40:25,640
Speaker 1: you guys, please welcome to the mic. Sah Sherman. Yes, okay, Sarah, oh,

530
00:40:25,719 --> 00:40:32,760
Speaker 1: I love you entomb. This is give me color Ballalla alright,

531
00:40:32,800 --> 00:40:34,840
Speaker 1: So are we doing a pre selected topic or the

532
00:40:34,880 --> 00:40:37,719
Speaker 1: troll ball? We are doing a pre selected topic. Here

533
00:40:37,800 --> 00:40:39,840
Speaker 1: we go, then here we go, Sarah Sherman, this is

534
00:40:39,840 --> 00:40:41,799
Speaker 1: your I don't think so, honey, and your time will

535
00:40:41,840 --> 00:40:45,359
Speaker 1: begin now. I don't think so, honey. People who say

536
00:40:45,440 --> 00:40:50,080
Speaker 1: you can't kiss babies on the mouth, Okay, I don't

537
00:40:50,160 --> 00:40:52,759
Speaker 1: think so, honey. You can get the baby on the mouth.

538
00:40:52,920 --> 00:40:54,200
Speaker 1: You can give the baby on the head. You can

539
00:40:54,239 --> 00:40:55,840
Speaker 1: get the baby on the feet, You can be in

540
00:40:55,840 --> 00:40:58,440
Speaker 1: the baby belly. You can get a baby give me

541
00:40:58,480 --> 00:41:01,240
Speaker 1: a body part. You can get the baby on the eyeball.

542
00:41:01,280 --> 00:41:03,520
Speaker 1: You can give us that baby anywhere. Honestly, babies don't

543
00:41:03,560 --> 00:41:08,120
Speaker 1: even have mouths, if you think about it, a baby

544
00:41:08,120 --> 00:41:12,120
Speaker 1: body just a bag of down, you know. Baby. Honestly,

545
00:41:12,120 --> 00:41:14,520
Speaker 1: when you kiss a baby anywhere on the body, you're

546
00:41:14,560 --> 00:41:16,719
Speaker 1: basically kissing its mouth because it's so small and your

547
00:41:16,800 --> 00:41:18,840
Speaker 1: mate face is so big that you're basically kissing a

548
00:41:18,880 --> 00:41:22,319
Speaker 1: baby on the mouth. Anytime you're getting baby, you can't

549
00:41:22,400 --> 00:41:24,120
Speaker 1: kiss a baby on your mouth on the mouth, raise

550
00:41:24,160 --> 00:41:36,040
Speaker 1: your hands second. Okay, Well, like I'm I feel like

551
00:41:36,200 --> 00:41:39,280
Speaker 1: we're vulgarizing the love language. I'm kissing of the moth,

552
00:41:39,360 --> 00:41:42,000
Speaker 1: which is sort of like a friend gesture. Okay, you

553
00:41:42,040 --> 00:41:44,600
Speaker 1: can kiss a baby on the mouth. World Peace starts

554
00:41:44,600 --> 00:41:47,120
Speaker 1: with kissing a baby on the mouth. That woman and

555
00:41:47,560 --> 00:41:51,600
Speaker 1: there are shirt. The conversation about world piece, y'all starts

556
00:41:51,600 --> 00:41:55,040
Speaker 1: with the mouth starts with the mouth. Oh my gosh. Okay,

557
00:41:55,120 --> 00:42:03,439
Speaker 1: please welcome and wonder who before? Okay, Miss Ruby, what

558
00:42:03,480 --> 00:42:05,839
Speaker 1: do we think? Are we doing a pre selected topic

559
00:42:06,000 --> 00:42:10,200
Speaker 1: or troll ball? You're doing a pre selected topic. This

560
00:42:10,239 --> 00:42:12,279
Speaker 1: is Ruby Carbs. I don't think so, honey. Her time

561
00:42:12,320 --> 00:42:17,880
Speaker 1: starts now, I don't think so, honey. Teenage boy, I'm sorry.

562
00:42:18,200 --> 00:42:21,320
Speaker 1: They all want you to be their mom. Oh, I'm sorry,

563
00:42:21,360 --> 00:42:24,440
Speaker 1: you're dead. That's why you have depression. News flash, we

564
00:42:24,520 --> 00:42:29,239
Speaker 1: all have daddy issues. And find me the Queen's to

565
00:42:29,320 --> 00:42:32,400
Speaker 1: have your mom's undercook chicken. What would I throw the

566
00:42:32,520 --> 00:42:38,759
Speaker 1: Queen's for you? Your favorite movies The Godfather have original

567
00:42:39,000 --> 00:42:42,200
Speaker 1: just like every other white boy on the Upper West Side.

568
00:42:44,120 --> 00:42:47,920
Speaker 1: I'm Sam, We're best after ever. Right to click press

569
00:42:48,000 --> 00:42:51,400
Speaker 1: movie ever, what where did that come from? And you

570
00:42:51,520 --> 00:42:54,360
Speaker 1: know nothing about movies because you've seen West Anderson one

571
00:42:56,239 --> 00:42:59,440
Speaker 1: and they all stop skateboarding. You are living off of

572
00:42:59,480 --> 00:43:02,359
Speaker 1: your mom trust fund. Stop asking me for dudes because

573
00:43:02,400 --> 00:43:04,759
Speaker 1: you're too scared to see my body in person. Why

574
00:43:04,760 --> 00:43:08,040
Speaker 1: would you invite to your house when your mom is

575
00:43:08,480 --> 00:43:16,520
Speaker 1: my second I do not think so, honey. Fucking teenage boys,

576
00:43:16,840 --> 00:43:20,719
Speaker 1: and give Ruby park without for Ruby Carkfurt for being

577
00:43:20,800 --> 00:43:23,759
Speaker 1: part of the school walk out on wednesdayes hell, yeah,

578
00:43:24,080 --> 00:43:27,840
Speaker 1: so walk out on Wednesday? Fuck yeah? All right, everyone

579
00:43:28,000 --> 00:43:36,600
Speaker 1: gird your Lawrence. It's time for Lisa training. Yes, oh Lisa, Lisa,

580
00:43:36,760 --> 00:43:41,240
Speaker 1: the hat is working on you. Look at that show.

581
00:43:41,320 --> 00:43:46,239
Speaker 1: I'm doing a pre select, Lisa. This is your I

582
00:43:46,280 --> 00:43:48,359
Speaker 1: don't think so, honey. This is the moment and your

583
00:43:48,480 --> 00:43:55,840
Speaker 1: time starts now. Okay. People that don't live on the

584
00:43:55,880 --> 00:43:58,439
Speaker 1: coast Sernace City, you do not get an equal vote.

585
00:43:58,520 --> 00:44:05,680
Speaker 1: I don't think so. He No, our American Eagle jeans

586
00:44:05,719 --> 00:44:09,000
Speaker 1: the best you can buy? Half a vote? Half what happen?

587
00:44:10,880 --> 00:44:14,440
Speaker 1: Do you think Kona Girl has good sushi? Half a vote?

588
00:44:16,280 --> 00:44:21,520
Speaker 1: Are you in Wyoming? You don't get to vote? Pack

589
00:44:21,640 --> 00:44:23,640
Speaker 1: up off our lives. What are you trying to save?

590
00:44:23,760 --> 00:44:28,480
Speaker 1: There's nothing. It's strip malls and Applebee's. You're disgusting. I travel,

591
00:44:28,600 --> 00:44:31,680
Speaker 1: I travel. I went to Corpus Christi, Texas. Their water

592
00:44:31,880 --> 00:44:36,600
Speaker 1: was poison. Okay. I went to Tolsa, Oklahoma. Guess what

593
00:44:36,760 --> 00:44:39,560
Speaker 1: their number one tourist attraction. A hole in the middle

594
00:44:39,560 --> 00:44:43,719
Speaker 1: of town. They don't know how deep it goes. You

595
00:44:43,760 --> 00:44:46,160
Speaker 1: don't have a missions art restaurant or in our music.

596
00:44:46,680 --> 00:44:50,080
Speaker 1: You don't fucking vote. Our food is better, we see

597
00:44:50,120 --> 00:44:53,440
Speaker 1: better things. You're losers. I don't want to pretend we're equal.

598
00:44:54,000 --> 00:45:01,960
Speaker 1: Get out of my town. Where tregor Honestly, that's a

599
00:45:02,000 --> 00:45:05,919
Speaker 1: great platform. Will Lie's a run. We have to start

600
00:45:06,239 --> 00:45:09,719
Speaker 1: asking that question. Here we go. Give it up her,

601
00:45:09,800 --> 00:45:16,400
Speaker 1: Miss Ali Brown. Come on, Ali Brown Hall, come Brown Shoes.

602
00:45:16,520 --> 00:45:21,200
Speaker 1: I like him coming. Okay, here we go, you Ali, Yes,

603
00:45:21,400 --> 00:45:23,640
Speaker 1: is this a troll bow moment or a pre select

604
00:45:23,640 --> 00:45:25,719
Speaker 1: the moment? You guys? I gotta blowout so we're sure

605
00:45:25,719 --> 00:45:31,280
Speaker 1: she are doing a troll ball? Yeah, we all gonna blowout.

606
00:45:31,320 --> 00:45:33,880
Speaker 1: You do a troll ball because I think you're gonna

607
00:45:33,880 --> 00:45:37,359
Speaker 1: troll you better get a blowout. I saw a lot

608
00:45:37,360 --> 00:45:43,880
Speaker 1: of blow ups backstage. We'll see here. Okay, okay, okay, Ali, Yes,

609
00:45:44,160 --> 00:45:53,200
Speaker 1: your troll bowl. Topic is a piano, the instrument of

610
00:45:53,239 --> 00:45:57,000
Speaker 1: a piano, and you're time starts down. I don't think

611
00:45:57,160 --> 00:46:01,160
Speaker 1: so honey piano taking your back. I'm mate, you're sold.

612
00:46:01,400 --> 00:46:05,000
Speaker 1: I'm in Mrs Lewandowski's living room. She's teaching me how

613
00:46:05,080 --> 00:46:09,640
Speaker 1: to play. Guest is not doing well, Ali Brown. In

614
00:46:09,800 --> 00:46:13,240
Speaker 1: case you're consumed, guest is on stage right now, Ali Brown,

615
00:46:15,000 --> 00:46:18,359
Speaker 1: I got big hands. Guess you can't play piano. That's

616
00:46:18,480 --> 00:46:23,400
Speaker 1: monkey right here, because once you get passed, don't right me.

617
00:46:23,640 --> 00:46:25,799
Speaker 1: You've got to play one little thing with your left

618
00:46:25,840 --> 00:46:28,719
Speaker 1: hand and another thing with your riders like that. I

619
00:46:28,880 --> 00:46:37,120
Speaker 1: like stability. I am a broad dr forest parents, listen up, piano.

620
00:46:37,560 --> 00:46:40,960
Speaker 1: You take your grand dass and you find a warehouse

621
00:46:42,200 --> 00:46:44,960
Speaker 1: sing as you have no room in my life or

622
00:46:45,040 --> 00:46:47,240
Speaker 1: in my heart. You know why because as I mentioned

623
00:46:47,280 --> 00:46:50,800
Speaker 1: before to forest parents, which means smaller houses but separate

624
00:46:51,160 --> 00:46:54,640
Speaker 1: five so ERDs. I don't think so honey, piano, but

625
00:46:54,760 --> 00:47:03,520
Speaker 1: I do think so honey, Cassio keyboards. Thank you a trouball.

626
00:47:04,960 --> 00:47:11,360
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, that is how you undo. It is time

627
00:47:11,960 --> 00:47:19,279
Speaker 1: store on the stage. Carolina, Teresa, come on. Yes, yes, yes, yes,

628
00:47:19,480 --> 00:47:23,239
Speaker 1: see the daddy shoot. Shoot, Oh my god, Carolina, what's

629
00:47:23,320 --> 00:47:31,760
Speaker 1: gonna be pre selected or trouball? I'm going bowl. Okay,

630
00:47:31,840 --> 00:47:33,960
Speaker 1: I'll pick for you. I'll pick for you. Here we go,

631
00:47:34,080 --> 00:47:37,360
Speaker 1: all right, so let's task. Wow, it's getting brave up

632
00:47:37,400 --> 00:47:42,400
Speaker 1: in here. Oh my god, my god, oh my god. Okay, Carolina,

633
00:47:43,000 --> 00:47:49,640
Speaker 1: your trouball topic is the Obama's National Gallery portraits that

634
00:47:49,840 --> 00:47:55,279
Speaker 1: they have done. You have to go. Your time starts now.

635
00:48:02,080 --> 00:48:13,360
Speaker 1: I'm fools whenever you're ready. No, look, Clay, honey, Obamas

636
00:48:13,880 --> 00:48:19,800
Speaker 1: artistic porch or whatever he said. Okay, I don't think so, honey.

637
00:48:20,440 --> 00:48:25,880
Speaker 1: The portrait wasn't beautifully enough. But it wasn't artistic enough, Michelle.

638
00:48:25,960 --> 00:48:29,600
Speaker 1: Obama's eyebrows did not put a shutter into my soul.

639
00:48:30,000 --> 00:48:34,000
Speaker 1: Don't they did not? Okay? Obama didn't look like a daddy.

640
00:48:34,200 --> 00:48:37,600
Speaker 1: Here looks like a daddy. Obama didn't made me want

641
00:48:37,640 --> 00:48:41,600
Speaker 1: to just take off all my clothes around it some honey,

642
00:48:41,960 --> 00:48:45,040
Speaker 1: And but the wide open No, we didn't know we

643
00:48:45,160 --> 00:48:52,319
Speaker 1: did it. How do I? Dare you? Based black? Dare

644
00:48:52,320 --> 00:48:54,440
Speaker 1: you based on the boat? Damn Ba's not read go

645
00:48:55,360 --> 00:49:01,480
Speaker 1: not amazing? How got hit it? Wiley Hyde, Wiley, You're

646
00:49:01,480 --> 00:49:03,960
Speaker 1: not gonna stroll up in hair and paint the beautiful

647
00:49:03,960 --> 00:49:05,840
Speaker 1: as bards in the old Bama. I think maybe the

648
00:49:05,880 --> 00:49:14,640
Speaker 1: whole my parents raised me not to bet up. Give

649
00:49:14,719 --> 00:49:20,120
Speaker 1: it up for okay, Cue Dan Sherman, Ruby Carr, lead

650
00:49:20,200 --> 00:49:26,640
Speaker 1: the Trager, Ali Brown and Carolina Teresa. Yes. Wow, a

651
00:49:26,760 --> 00:49:31,200
Speaker 1: lot of excitement in the room. This next category is

652
00:49:31,920 --> 00:49:38,040
Speaker 1: leggendary children. Legendary children, Please give it up for Nathan

653
00:49:38,280 --> 00:49:42,920
Speaker 1: Leeue Graham. There you go, Come on, come on, n

654
00:49:43,920 --> 00:49:49,239
Speaker 1: from Michel to Swords, Please give it up for Ellian Glazzer,

655
00:49:51,040 --> 00:50:00,239
Speaker 1: Shanovia Large and miss Aps my own. Come on. Legendary children, mom,

656
00:50:01,239 --> 00:50:06,840
Speaker 1: legendary Nathan, you get ready for this? Well you welcome,

657
00:50:09,680 --> 00:50:18,440
Speaker 1: Welcome him, Welcome him, respect, the presence of greatness, In

658
00:50:18,600 --> 00:50:29,160
Speaker 1: the presence of greatness, the presence of greatness. Look at

659
00:50:29,200 --> 00:50:34,600
Speaker 1: the outfit. Come on, look at please the charcoal. This

660
00:50:34,840 --> 00:50:36,960
Speaker 1: is on money, Nathan. Is it going to be pre

661
00:50:37,080 --> 00:50:41,239
Speaker 1: selected or trollable? You want to check the monitor? Hello? Yeah, yeah,

662
00:50:43,880 --> 00:50:45,400
Speaker 1: we can hear you. All right now, all right, so

663
00:50:45,480 --> 00:50:49,120
Speaker 1: we're doing are something? Okay? Alright, this is Nathan Lee

664
00:50:49,160 --> 00:50:51,360
Speaker 1: Graham's I don't think something. God, you guys look so amazing.

665
00:50:53,040 --> 00:50:57,600
Speaker 1: You know, pink is in. That's rule of culture fourteen.

666
00:50:57,680 --> 00:51:00,439
Speaker 1: Pink is in, and your time starts now. I don't

667
00:51:00,440 --> 00:51:09,279
Speaker 1: think so, honey. Walking down the god damn side walk listen.

668
00:51:09,360 --> 00:51:12,400
Speaker 1: I got three words for you, A breast fall back.

669
00:51:14,640 --> 00:51:17,160
Speaker 1: When my single lass is walking down. In your couple

670
00:51:17,160 --> 00:51:20,319
Speaker 1: of lasses coming down, one of you needs to paul back.

671
00:51:25,480 --> 00:51:31,160
Speaker 1: You cannot. You cannot walk thirty seconds and the person

672
00:51:31,280 --> 00:51:33,640
Speaker 1: on the inside is the one that needs to fall back.

673
00:51:34,640 --> 00:51:42,680
Speaker 1: You can keep talking. Sound travels ask a scientist. I'm famous.

674
00:51:42,800 --> 00:51:51,640
Speaker 1: Get the funk out of my way. A bit stiff

675
00:51:51,719 --> 00:51:57,160
Speaker 1: to do, black bitch, hash ship turn out five seconds

676
00:51:57,239 --> 00:52:08,720
Speaker 1: finished off, get out. That's one. That's Oh my god.

677
00:52:11,080 --> 00:52:13,960
Speaker 1: I thank god. I thank god. They've got every day.

678
00:52:14,200 --> 00:52:19,320
Speaker 1: They got every day. Everyone. Michelle desmar led to go,

679
00:52:19,760 --> 00:52:24,560
Speaker 1: come Michelle, Yes, here we go, baby, Michelle. Is it

680
00:52:24,600 --> 00:52:29,839
Speaker 1: gonna be pre selected or troll ball pre select? Just words?

681
00:52:29,840 --> 00:52:31,600
Speaker 1: I don't think so many of her time starts now.

682
00:52:32,080 --> 00:52:36,880
Speaker 1: I don't think so, honey. Posh Spice isn't going on tour,

683
00:52:39,880 --> 00:52:45,520
Speaker 1: no bitch. But the Spice girls lied to us, and

684
00:52:45,600 --> 00:52:49,080
Speaker 1: it is time that we all accept that them bitches

685
00:52:49,400 --> 00:52:53,920
Speaker 1: sold off the merchandise. They said friendship is forever. They

686
00:52:54,080 --> 00:53:00,640
Speaker 1: fucking lied. They did not even stay friends. Every single

687
00:53:00,719 --> 00:53:05,800
Speaker 1: one of them bitches were back. They fucking got cheated on,

688
00:53:05,920 --> 00:53:10,560
Speaker 1: They got publicly humiliated, they got beaten up by Laskin men,

689
00:53:11,080 --> 00:53:16,959
Speaker 1: and then they went back to their husband's. A woman

690
00:53:17,040 --> 00:53:20,160
Speaker 1: of color only recently being able to wear leopard print

691
00:53:20,320 --> 00:53:26,960
Speaker 1: without being heckled by peoples. Spice, you took out your boom, implu,

692
00:53:27,400 --> 00:53:30,400
Speaker 1: then you entered fashion and we all accepted it. So

693
00:53:30,640 --> 00:53:34,520
Speaker 1: I don't think so, honey, You bitch are going on tour.

694
00:53:41,520 --> 00:53:45,000
Speaker 1: She should go on tour. She shot? Is she doing?

695
00:53:45,239 --> 00:53:48,440
Speaker 1: What else? Is she doing? Her skinny ass? Okay, guys,

696
00:53:49,640 --> 00:53:58,960
Speaker 1: welcome Elliott Glazer. Love him Elliott? What's it gonna be? Appreciate?

697
00:53:59,040 --> 00:54:01,600
Speaker 1: And I thought they could go either way? Plect Okay,

698
00:54:01,800 --> 00:54:06,320
Speaker 1: so Elliott your I don't think so, honey, time begins. Okay,

699
00:54:06,440 --> 00:54:11,240
Speaker 1: I don't think so, honey. Gay guys who post thirst

700
00:54:11,280 --> 00:54:18,360
Speaker 1: traps with the hashtag I miss summer, Bring back Summer.

701
00:54:19,680 --> 00:54:24,920
Speaker 1: It's coming. Summer is coming back. If you want to

702
00:54:25,000 --> 00:54:29,440
Speaker 1: show me your pubs, show me your pubs. If you

703
00:54:29,480 --> 00:54:31,800
Speaker 1: want to show me a gym pick, show me a

704
00:54:31,920 --> 00:54:35,919
Speaker 1: gym pick. I don't care about the seasons. You don't

705
00:54:36,000 --> 00:54:42,200
Speaker 1: care about the fucking seasons. Just just just show me

706
00:54:42,320 --> 00:54:46,560
Speaker 1: your butt. That's fine, but it's fine. I don't care

707
00:54:46,640 --> 00:54:49,640
Speaker 1: about summer. If you care about summer, I don't care

708
00:54:49,719 --> 00:54:54,160
Speaker 1: about summer. I don't need fifteen. It's just it's that simple.

709
00:54:57,000 --> 00:55:00,800
Speaker 1: Nobody cares about the seasons. We're not children. We children

710
00:55:00,880 --> 00:55:04,800
Speaker 1: care about summer. You're a gay adult man. Put a

711
00:55:04,880 --> 00:55:07,880
Speaker 1: shirt on or take it off, but stop talking about summer.

712
00:55:08,160 --> 00:55:12,480
Speaker 1: And that's what stopping gay man. Stop it, gay man,

713
00:55:12,640 --> 00:55:16,799
Speaker 1: show us her body and shut the funk up. Oh

714
00:55:17,160 --> 00:55:25,520
Speaker 1: my god, Okay, it is time for Chanovia Large No

715
00:55:25,760 --> 00:55:29,920
Speaker 1: be classic champion sweatshirt. Come on me, alright, So what

716
00:55:30,080 --> 00:55:34,480
Speaker 1: do we think we do? Yeah, I'm going shoa largest.

717
00:55:34,520 --> 00:55:36,799
Speaker 1: I don't think so, honey. Her time starts now, all right,

718
00:55:36,840 --> 00:55:40,000
Speaker 1: I don't think so honey. The fifty Shades of Great franchise,

719
00:55:41,960 --> 00:55:44,439
Speaker 1: We're gonna be more specific. I don't think so, honey.

720
00:55:44,520 --> 00:55:47,200
Speaker 1: My raggedy ass roommate who saw the movie one time

721
00:55:47,280 --> 00:55:49,440
Speaker 1: and decided, Okay, I think I'm into B D s

722
00:55:49,600 --> 00:55:51,799
Speaker 1: M now, Like no, I think it doesn't work that way.

723
00:55:52,120 --> 00:55:54,640
Speaker 1: She saw the movie once, got on okay cuping and

724
00:55:54,680 --> 00:55:58,160
Speaker 1: found this musty ass dirty dick b D s M

725
00:55:58,239 --> 00:56:00,759
Speaker 1: bay and they've been practicing it in our apartment. I

726
00:56:00,840 --> 00:56:04,360
Speaker 1: can't fucking sleep. Okay, all right, let me be claire.

727
00:56:04,440 --> 00:56:07,120
Speaker 1: I have no problems with the b D s M community. Okay,

728
00:56:07,480 --> 00:56:09,400
Speaker 1: you guys know what you want. You asked for, and

729
00:56:09,480 --> 00:56:11,440
Speaker 1: I'm here for that. You need to be robbed up

730
00:56:11,440 --> 00:56:14,160
Speaker 1: in the bedroom to get get off. I support you.

731
00:56:14,520 --> 00:56:17,640
Speaker 1: But my problem is when you start breaking bed frames

732
00:56:18,080 --> 00:56:20,960
Speaker 1: and busting holes in the walls at random hours of

733
00:56:21,000 --> 00:56:22,759
Speaker 1: the night when I'm trying to sleep in the room

734
00:56:22,840 --> 00:56:25,360
Speaker 1: that I pay rent for. I shouldn't. I should be

735
00:56:25,440 --> 00:56:27,480
Speaker 1: able to do that. Okay, I've been woken up to

736
00:56:27,520 --> 00:56:30,160
Speaker 1: the sounds of weird sex noises where I don't know

737
00:56:30,200 --> 00:56:35,200
Speaker 1: if you're enjoying yourself. Are you scared for your life? Handcuffs,

738
00:56:35,280 --> 00:56:37,880
Speaker 1: breaking headboards, banging against the wall that we share. Bit,

739
00:56:38,000 --> 00:56:41,440
Speaker 1: you don't live alone, Okaya, rent here, I should be

740
00:56:41,480 --> 00:56:47,800
Speaker 1: able to sleep. She rent here, Let her sleep her sleep.

741
00:56:47,920 --> 00:56:50,600
Speaker 1: If she pays rent, she better be able to sleep.

742
00:56:52,000 --> 00:56:59,839
Speaker 1: Novices give it up for acts, man, Let's go home

743
00:57:02,480 --> 00:57:11,560
Speaker 1: to god things. Honestly, I have to sign my sources.

744
00:57:11,600 --> 00:57:13,399
Speaker 1: It takes a village. This was gifted to me about

745
00:57:13,400 --> 00:57:17,080
Speaker 1: Gottalina right there on the left, the village, Bish, and

746
00:57:17,160 --> 00:57:20,080
Speaker 1: I love you that support. All right, listen, are we

747
00:57:20,200 --> 00:57:24,800
Speaker 1: doing a pre selected prelected This is x my os.

748
00:57:24,840 --> 00:57:27,440
Speaker 1: I don't think so, honey, her time starts now. I

749
00:57:27,520 --> 00:57:30,760
Speaker 1: don't think so, honey. White motherfucker's who ain seeing black panther?

750
00:57:33,520 --> 00:57:35,560
Speaker 1: Let me tell you, stepthing. Are you bad because you're

751
00:57:35,600 --> 00:57:37,960
Speaker 1: just see yourself represented when that was the white motherfucker

752
00:57:38,040 --> 00:57:41,520
Speaker 1: that was called upon when needed. That's what y'all aast

753
00:57:41,600 --> 00:57:43,200
Speaker 1: is here for. Don't talk to me about it, Alan,

754
00:57:43,280 --> 00:57:45,040
Speaker 1: I literally come and see why people are like Hi,

755
00:57:45,200 --> 00:57:46,880
Speaker 1: Can I order a cafe and tell you like the

756
00:57:46,920 --> 00:57:49,560
Speaker 1: reason I haven't seen back panthers because it's like I

757
00:57:49,680 --> 00:57:52,840
Speaker 1: didn't see it's that motherfucking guilt. Bish, You know your ash,

758
00:57:52,880 --> 00:57:55,880
Speaker 1: You see that it seem that these beautiful black people

759
00:57:58,080 --> 00:58:01,360
Speaker 1: it's just elevates. It's sally and our hair is beautiful

760
00:58:01,400 --> 00:58:05,680
Speaker 1: even when it gets wet. Goddamn. I want to be

761
00:58:05,760 --> 00:58:10,160
Speaker 1: in that universe. White people, everybody right now, go to

762
00:58:10,280 --> 00:58:15,680
Speaker 1: bandego and just buy it ticking. We've already beat toy story.

763
00:58:15,720 --> 00:58:20,240
Speaker 1: What do you allen? Stuff by Dick? But black your

764
00:58:20,280 --> 00:58:24,120
Speaker 1: fuck you? Okay, seconds, okay in the last night, I

765
00:58:24,400 --> 00:58:30,520
Speaker 1: wanna say gold see Black Panther. That's what forever, that's

766
00:58:30,600 --> 00:58:36,920
Speaker 1: one minute. Yes, it's the best movie. That's the most amazing.

767
00:58:38,200 --> 00:58:45,160
Speaker 1: For the legendary children. Natana Swart, Elliott Glancer, be a

768
00:58:45,280 --> 00:58:50,000
Speaker 1: large and ask now, oh boy, how are you feeling?

769
00:58:50,040 --> 00:58:53,400
Speaker 1: You're feeling hot? Everyone's feeling good. We got one more

770
00:58:53,480 --> 00:58:57,920
Speaker 1: group here, y'all your fucking world. These are the boys

771
00:58:58,120 --> 00:59:00,880
Speaker 1: and the band. We got our two straight boys in

772
00:59:00,960 --> 00:59:04,920
Speaker 1: the entire show with some amazing drag performers. Give it

773
00:59:05,040 --> 00:59:09,040
Speaker 1: up for John true Bread, get it up for a pearl,

774
00:59:09,120 --> 00:59:13,920
Speaker 1: Then give it up for jan Sports, give it up

775
00:59:13,960 --> 00:59:24,360
Speaker 1: for roads Day and Missa. Come for guys. Oh my god,

776
00:59:24,440 --> 00:59:29,880
Speaker 1: what a tableau. Yes, we love this tableau. Looking the

777
00:59:29,960 --> 00:59:33,200
Speaker 1: Spice girls. These are the Spice girls right there, John

778
00:59:33,240 --> 00:59:36,920
Speaker 1: true Bridge, John, it's time get up John Troubridge. Everybody

779
00:59:38,200 --> 00:59:41,520
Speaker 1: looking cute in a hat about to look gorgeous and

780
00:59:41,640 --> 00:59:46,200
Speaker 1: another hat. All right, So John, here's the thing. We

781
00:59:46,360 --> 00:59:49,000
Speaker 1: give you, guys an option and it's for tropell Or

782
00:59:49,080 --> 00:59:52,160
Speaker 1: priest like the topic, so I wonder what you'll choose.

783
01:00:00,000 --> 01:00:03,200
Speaker 1: I have to come here, braver even to choose the trouble.

784
01:00:03,320 --> 01:00:06,800
Speaker 1: Absolutely straight thoughts say straight here, we gotta listen, bitch

785
01:00:07,880 --> 01:00:12,680
Speaker 1: your I don't think so onny. Topic is Count Dracula

786
01:00:14,240 --> 01:00:19,440
Speaker 1: and starts now. I don't think so, Count Dracula. Um.

787
01:00:20,280 --> 01:00:24,800
Speaker 1: People are supposed to fucking die. Okay, people are supposed

788
01:00:24,840 --> 01:00:27,600
Speaker 1: to die eventually. Okay. You can't just walk around all

789
01:00:27,680 --> 01:00:29,479
Speaker 1: day like you know. I was here when the fucking

790
01:00:29,520 --> 01:00:35,000
Speaker 1: Revolutionary War happened. Good, suck my dick, Count Tracula, Suck

791
01:00:35,080 --> 01:00:37,959
Speaker 1: my fucking dick, Count Dracula. And you're not just gonna

792
01:00:38,120 --> 01:00:41,080
Speaker 1: suck my blood. I don't know why. Like vampires think

793
01:00:41,280 --> 01:00:43,880
Speaker 1: they can seduce me, I'm not gonna fuck a vampire

794
01:00:43,920 --> 01:00:47,000
Speaker 1: and your pale ship. You have sharp bass teeth. You're

795
01:00:47,080 --> 01:00:51,600
Speaker 1: horrible to fucking be around already. Second, your your houses

796
01:00:51,640 --> 01:00:54,800
Speaker 1: are dank and dark and hard to get to. I

797
01:00:54,880 --> 01:01:01,640
Speaker 1: gotta drive up a fucking mountain to your bitchipond. You

798
01:01:01,680 --> 01:01:03,640
Speaker 1: think I'm just gonna go up to your fucking mansion

799
01:01:03,680 --> 01:01:08,800
Speaker 1: to let you turn me into one of you cooks. No,

800
01:01:09,200 --> 01:01:12,240
Speaker 1: fuck you, Count Dracula. I'm gonna die when I'm fifty

801
01:01:12,320 --> 01:01:21,720
Speaker 1: five like everybody else here. That's right, Trouball. I love it.

802
01:01:22,000 --> 01:01:27,360
Speaker 1: You look at him and that stuff. We have a

803
01:01:30,040 --> 01:01:36,000
Speaker 1: stud as look at you go. I love your shoes. Ash.

804
01:01:36,080 --> 01:01:39,360
Speaker 1: What's gonna be pre selected or Trouball. Let's let's do

805
01:01:39,480 --> 01:01:49,400
Speaker 1: the ball alright, So you're you're I don't think so, honey.

806
01:01:49,480 --> 01:01:58,120
Speaker 1: Trouball topic is Leah Remedy's book, Leah Remedy's book called Troublemaker,

807
01:01:58,240 --> 01:02:01,840
Speaker 1: about the trials of her time. I'm in scientology and

808
01:02:02,040 --> 01:02:06,920
Speaker 1: your time starts now. I don't think so, honey, Leah

809
01:02:07,080 --> 01:02:11,280
Speaker 1: Remedies book. I've already had to watch you in a movie,

810
01:02:11,360 --> 01:02:13,600
Speaker 1: a bunch of TV shows, and now I have to

811
01:02:13,840 --> 01:02:18,640
Speaker 1: read something you wrote. We get it. You had a

812
01:02:18,800 --> 01:02:27,320
Speaker 1: really hard time. You're not covering any new grounds. If

813
01:02:27,360 --> 01:02:30,160
Speaker 1: you want to write a book, Lea Remedy, choose a

814
01:02:30,280 --> 01:02:33,640
Speaker 1: topic that hasn't been done to death by an HBO

815
01:02:33,840 --> 01:02:40,760
Speaker 1: documentary you a thousand times. I'm gonna be honestly a

816
01:02:40,880 --> 01:02:45,240
Speaker 1: remedies book. I don't totally know much about you, Lea

817
01:02:45,400 --> 01:02:50,160
Speaker 1: Remedies book, but here's the thing. Don't be a remedies book.

818
01:02:50,200 --> 01:02:54,280
Speaker 1: If you want to name yourself troublemaker, maybe make some trouble.

819
01:02:56,720 --> 01:02:59,480
Speaker 1: Seems to me like you're just pandering to a bunch

820
01:02:59,520 --> 01:03:03,960
Speaker 1: of people already agree with you. That's not making trouble

821
01:03:04,080 --> 01:03:08,200
Speaker 1: with a remedies book. That's just called shooting down the middle.

822
01:03:10,920 --> 01:03:17,680
Speaker 1: Ye your pearl man, Your pearlman, he really gave a tour. Wow. Absolutely, Okay,

823
01:03:18,120 --> 01:03:24,280
Speaker 1: here we go. It is time for miss Jan Sports. Yes,

824
01:03:24,520 --> 01:03:32,920
Speaker 1: Jan Dan, my god, Hea, hello Joanne, we're here, both here,

825
01:03:33,040 --> 01:03:36,000
Speaker 1: both Joanne? Listen. Okay, are we doing a pre selected

826
01:03:36,080 --> 01:03:39,160
Speaker 1: topic or the troll ball? We're gonna do? Pre select? Absolutely,

827
01:03:39,280 --> 01:03:41,120
Speaker 1: this is Jan Sports. I don't think so, honey, and

828
01:03:41,160 --> 01:03:44,800
Speaker 1: her time starts now. I don't think so, honey. Actors

829
01:03:44,840 --> 01:03:47,840
Speaker 1: who refer to the first day of rehearsal as their

830
01:03:47,920 --> 01:03:54,440
Speaker 1: first motherfucking day of school. Baby, my name is Jan Sports.

831
01:03:54,720 --> 01:03:58,040
Speaker 1: I am a singer, I am a drag queen. I'm

832
01:03:58,120 --> 01:04:03,760
Speaker 1: not not a dancer. I'm a dreamer. And I'm a

833
01:04:03,920 --> 01:04:07,200
Speaker 1: former actor. Okay, i am a former actor. Because of

834
01:04:07,280 --> 01:04:09,960
Speaker 1: these fucking idiots who say that their first day of

835
01:04:10,120 --> 01:04:14,400
Speaker 1: school is rehearsal. There is a word that is meant

836
01:04:14,480 --> 01:04:17,280
Speaker 1: for the theater, and it is called rehearsal. I think

837
01:04:17,840 --> 01:04:20,160
Speaker 1: I think a fucking status about this at least once

838
01:04:20,200 --> 01:04:22,280
Speaker 1: a month, and sometime it's like, but you, nobody, it's okay,

839
01:04:22,360 --> 01:04:24,000
Speaker 1: because like if the first same school were meeting new

840
01:04:24,040 --> 01:04:26,480
Speaker 1: people and I'm like, yes, it's called rehearsal. You dumbass.

841
01:04:27,040 --> 01:04:29,600
Speaker 1: You are not getting your seconds. You are not getting

842
01:04:29,640 --> 01:04:33,080
Speaker 1: your degree from your non equity production of Oklahoma out

843
01:04:33,120 --> 01:04:37,920
Speaker 1: in bum fuck Illinois. Okay, now, everybody excuse me to

844
01:04:38,040 --> 01:04:40,760
Speaker 1: fucking go to my rehearsal from my non equity tour

845
01:04:40,840 --> 01:04:48,480
Speaker 1: of Junie B. Jones Dance Sports Chan Sport Fantastic. It

846
01:04:48,680 --> 01:04:50,560
Speaker 1: is tired. You want to take a big old fucking

847
01:04:50,640 --> 01:04:59,160
Speaker 1: sip of Rose Rose, Yes, Rose, come through. What's gonna

848
01:04:59,160 --> 01:05:02,360
Speaker 1: be Rose? We think, what do we think? I'm really

849
01:05:02,360 --> 01:05:04,240
Speaker 1: attempted by the bull, but I don't think I'm gonna

850
01:05:04,280 --> 01:05:06,840
Speaker 1: do it. Fuck you guys. I want to do my

851
01:05:06,920 --> 01:05:10,400
Speaker 1: pre selected topic. I have some respect for the priest selection.

852
01:05:10,520 --> 01:05:12,919
Speaker 1: This is Rose's. I don't think so, honey. Her time

853
01:05:13,000 --> 01:05:18,400
Speaker 1: starts now. I don't fucking think so, honey. Horoscopes. Look, look,

854
01:05:18,560 --> 01:05:22,000
Speaker 1: I am a really fucking spiritual bitch. Okay, my bed

855
01:05:22,120 --> 01:05:25,120
Speaker 1: is covered with crystals. I almost burnt my apartment down

856
01:05:25,240 --> 01:05:26,920
Speaker 1: with sage when I was trying to clear the energy

857
01:05:27,000 --> 01:05:30,080
Speaker 1: when my Christian roommate moved out. And my favorite movie,

858
01:05:30,560 --> 01:05:35,160
Speaker 1: my favorite movie is Paranormal Activity. To love that movie,

859
01:05:35,280 --> 01:05:38,640
Speaker 1: I do not fucking love when somebody starts a conversation

860
01:05:38,720 --> 01:05:42,160
Speaker 1: with me and they say, um something, to which I respond,

861
01:05:42,240 --> 01:05:44,360
Speaker 1: I was born in Dallas, but I they stopped me.

862
01:05:44,640 --> 01:05:47,520
Speaker 1: What's your fucking sign like right now? Tell me? Okay,

863
01:05:47,640 --> 01:05:57,280
Speaker 1: it's a Gemini? Oh aries, bitch, Let me tell you something.

864
01:05:57,320 --> 01:05:58,880
Speaker 1: There are three things you need to know about me.

865
01:05:58,960 --> 01:06:02,800
Speaker 1: I'm a top to bottom sometimes I make all of

866
01:06:02,880 --> 01:06:04,800
Speaker 1: my income dressing as a woman. And I have a

867
01:06:04,880 --> 01:06:07,240
Speaker 1: rash on my arm that the doctor said was ring warm.

868
01:06:07,240 --> 01:06:09,120
Speaker 1: It turns out the next it's gonna get better soon. Okay,

869
01:06:09,360 --> 01:06:11,959
Speaker 1: but listen, we are not going to be best friends

870
01:06:12,000 --> 01:06:16,080
Speaker 1: because you're a fucking triple virgo. I'm gonna fucking hate

871
01:06:16,080 --> 01:06:25,600
Speaker 1: your motherfucking asked regardless, I don't think so. And finally,

872
01:06:25,960 --> 01:06:33,919
Speaker 1: and now everyone take a dive into laguna. Yes god,

873
01:06:34,520 --> 01:06:37,360
Speaker 1: oh my god, alright, love going to stick that rose

874
01:06:37,600 --> 01:06:39,920
Speaker 1: left on the mic? I love it. What do we

875
01:06:39,960 --> 01:06:44,320
Speaker 1: think are we doing pre slight under the laguna? Boz.

876
01:06:44,600 --> 01:06:47,480
Speaker 1: I don't think so, honey. Her time starts now, I

877
01:06:47,520 --> 01:06:52,400
Speaker 1: don't think so, honey. Don't touch my fucking hair. Listen.

878
01:06:52,440 --> 01:06:53,800
Speaker 1: If you want to take a picture with me, I

879
01:06:53,960 --> 01:06:56,760
Speaker 1: love that. Just don't don't put your neck your fingers

880
01:06:56,760 --> 01:07:00,240
Speaker 1: around my hair. Okay if you If you want to

881
01:07:00,240 --> 01:07:01,920
Speaker 1: see my beard, a surefire way to do it is

882
01:07:02,000 --> 01:07:06,120
Speaker 1: press yours against mine. Okay. Um. And now the next

883
01:07:06,160 --> 01:07:08,240
Speaker 1: one is I love it when a gay man a

884
01:07:08,360 --> 01:07:12,520
Speaker 1: sassy one who gets really excited and I am super nervous.

885
01:07:12,680 --> 01:07:16,400
Speaker 1: I'm excited. And the best one is a it's a

886
01:07:16,440 --> 01:07:20,200
Speaker 1: drunk girl who's like, oh my god, you're so pretty. Wait,

887
01:07:20,280 --> 01:07:24,439
Speaker 1: you're a man. Why is your makeup more beautiful than mine? Wait?

888
01:07:24,560 --> 01:07:27,800
Speaker 1: Can I touch it? Wait? No, bitch, my entire hair

889
01:07:27,920 --> 01:07:33,240
Speaker 1: do is more expensive than your entire closet from Urban Outfitters. Second,

890
01:07:33,360 --> 01:07:39,360
Speaker 1: it's like Christina Aguilera says, but I never touched Okay,

891
01:07:40,360 --> 01:07:43,000
Speaker 1: unless you're Ryan Reynolds, because then, bitch, you can tear

892
01:07:43,080 --> 01:07:49,040
Speaker 1: his hair up. Okay, back, Hi, love me follow me

893
01:07:49,080 --> 01:07:58,000
Speaker 1: on Instagram? All right, everyone, so listen, listen. I know

894
01:07:58,240 --> 01:08:00,640
Speaker 1: that you thought that this first active, I don't make

895
01:08:00,680 --> 01:08:03,320
Speaker 1: some honey was over, But no, we're gonna tell our

896
01:08:03,440 --> 01:08:07,040
Speaker 1: streets on stage John Trowbridge and Asher Perlman to fucking

897
01:08:07,160 --> 01:08:14,160
Speaker 1: scram scrag a street. And now we're gonna be gagged

898
01:08:14,520 --> 01:08:20,120
Speaker 1: by a performance from Stephanie's child t transport Rose and

899
01:08:20,320 --> 01:08:24,479
Speaker 1: look going up blue. Let them get information phone, yeah,

900
01:08:24,520 --> 01:08:26,320
Speaker 1: and then you wanna grab one of the makes over there.

901
01:08:27,240 --> 01:08:30,200
Speaker 1: All right, everyone after the performance going to take a

902
01:08:30,280 --> 01:08:34,960
Speaker 1: quick intermission, but please enjoy this performance from Stepane. I'll

903
01:08:34,960 --> 01:08:46,760
Speaker 1: be back right after this. Here we got drop me

904
01:08:47,640 --> 01:08:51,320
Speaker 1: and go around the hole. They pull up in their

905
01:08:51,400 --> 01:08:53,040
Speaker 1: ubers and they go off with the facts in the

906
01:08:53,120 --> 01:08:55,640
Speaker 1: bars just to find some top. They go of you,

907
01:08:55,960 --> 01:09:00,519
Speaker 1: you might be loaded. You know that me Bro said

908
01:09:00,760 --> 01:09:03,160
Speaker 1: get a bagon now something to the city with their

909
01:09:03,200 --> 01:09:17,200
Speaker 1: thoughts and their hands to qui binder, sisters, I'm just

910
01:09:17,320 --> 01:09:22,760
Speaker 1: like to you, los fellow my holding on to bow

911
01:09:23,040 --> 01:09:27,080
Speaker 1: but sculling down, scrolling down their studies, tweets and theirs

912
01:09:27,080 --> 01:09:35,719
Speaker 1: a long and well tell tom my sword and meets

913
01:09:35,800 --> 01:09:39,760
Speaker 1: up and pulls my hair to be trying somebody for

914
01:09:40,960 --> 01:09:47,200
Speaker 1: need a plating pre queens remind you up. They're looking

915
01:09:47,400 --> 01:09:59,320
Speaker 1: forward we're looking to trade. I'm looking for whoa bo

916
01:10:02,760 --> 01:10:05,200
Speaker 1: the kick for the luster if you're gonna get a

917
01:10:05,280 --> 01:10:08,160
Speaker 1: ready excuse me, sir. It might sound funny, but I

918
01:10:08,240 --> 01:10:10,280
Speaker 1: don't sound dick unless you got a lot of money.

919
01:10:11,200 --> 01:10:15,200
Speaker 1: Kiddy about fancy. I'm trying to get funk into my asshole. Russ,

920
01:10:15,479 --> 01:10:23,280
Speaker 1: you distrust me, disgusting Patsy. You want to get a

921
01:10:23,320 --> 01:10:26,000
Speaker 1: puffy dick and me to say you want to confrevation.

922
01:10:26,080 --> 01:10:29,479
Speaker 1: I want your contraction. Don't listen to my taforation. You

923
01:10:29,560 --> 01:10:32,280
Speaker 1: want be siss, to be something I don't such a

924
01:10:32,360 --> 01:10:35,599
Speaker 1: created he was and I need not go your donna

925
01:10:35,640 --> 01:10:44,920
Speaker 1: say how I'm taking me right now? Cook around the

926
01:10:45,080 --> 01:10:49,520
Speaker 1: ground and all of you we are iline. Now here's

927
01:10:49,560 --> 01:10:53,439
Speaker 1: somebody come to the girl come to me in a day.

928
01:10:58,160 --> 01:10:59,960
Speaker 1: I don't mean about I was saying, it's such a pay.

929
01:11:00,000 --> 01:11:03,840
Speaker 1: Ain't you're gonna get some goods saying you want to conversation.

930
01:11:03,920 --> 01:11:07,559
Speaker 1: I also penetration that takes into any way. Be all

931
01:11:07,680 --> 01:11:17,479
Speaker 1: these shays's bad. That's a bad wild. We are sure

932
01:11:17,479 --> 01:11:30,840
Speaker 1: she is. He's a guy said, lum, what what I

933
01:11:31,040 --> 01:11:37,320
Speaker 1: would wait to by that? He says? Work? What work?

934
01:11:37,439 --> 01:12:06,040
Speaker 1: What work? What? The city to guy say thank Stephanie

935
01:12:06,200 --> 01:12:17,880
Speaker 1: child Yeah and tip your tenders by Forever Dog. This

936
01:12:18,080 --> 01:12:22,040
Speaker 1: has been a Forever Dog production executive produced by Brett Bahum,

937
01:12:22,400 --> 01:12:27,160
Speaker 1: Joe Silio, and Alex Ramsey. For more original podcasts, please

938
01:12:27,280 --> 01:12:31,000
Speaker 1: visit Forever Dog Podcasts dot com and subscribe to our

939
01:12:31,080 --> 01:12:35,640
Speaker 1: shows on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.

940
01:12:35,960 --> 01:12:38,759
Speaker 1: Keep up with the latest Forever Dog news by following

941
01:12:38,880 --> 01:12:43,040
Speaker 1: us on Twitter and Instagram at Forever Dog Team, and

942
01:12:43,240 --> 01:12:45,120
Speaker 1: liking our page on Facebook.